#clint barton incorrect quotes

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Clint: [watching the Avengers shenanigans with concern] Do you feel like this has gotten out of hand?

Natasha: I don't know. Feels normal enough for a group that's on 911's blocked callers list.

[esmerxyaugusta]

y/n: *crying*

clint: what's wrong with them?

nat: they were talking-

y/n: THESE PEOPLE WERE TALKING TO ME AT THE EVENT AND THEY SAID I WAS MATURE!!!

y/n: MATURE!!! I AM NOT MATURE LETS ALL REFLECT TO THE TIME I NEARLY RAN OVER SOME KIDS PLAYING IN THE PARK!! *goes back to sobbing*

(this happened to me 😭)

edit: except i didn't run over kids at a park i nearly roller skated over kids

[mamaspidershit]

Clint: If something happened to Peter… I couldn’t live with myself. Natasha: Of course you wouldn’t have to because I would kill you.

[marvel-lous-guy]

Pepper: I need a unique way to tell the old men in the board meetings that they're stupid. Any ideas?

Tony: wisdom has been chasing you, but you've always been faster

Sam: we squint at the sun because its bright. We squint at people because they're not

Nat: It is impossible to underestimate you

Clint: I expected nothing and am still disappointed

Peter: ...you've all said all of those to me though

Nat: yeah, they're compliments!

Peter: oh, okay!

[marvel-my-most-beloved]

[chaxan08]

Wanda: I think I'm in love with Nat. Any thoughts?

Clint: And prayers. You're going to need them.

[jjsmaybank20]

Clint: Where do you think you'll end up, hell or heaven?

Natasha: I hope hell. It's where all the gay people are.

Y/N: It's lit.

Y/N: Pun intended.

Clint: Y'all are weird.

[georgie3116]

Natasha: Bucky is great. I mean, he’s into all the same things I’m into.

Clint: Well, so am I. Now, I don’t want to sound as insecure as I really am, but you’re not trying to replace me with this Bucky dude are you?

Natasha: Clint… Your first uniform was literally an 80’s bright purple spandex suit and a ridiculous Halloween mask, no one could ever replace you - believe me.

Clint: Good because I may not be your Russian Assassin Best Friend…

Clint: BUT I AM DEFINITELY YO BEST FRIEND. YOU GOTTA PROBLEM WITH THAT!?

Natasha: No…

[louwaffles]

*Kiddies Only GC

Kate: omg like wtf they’re dl but it’s cap u could c his face in the pic

Y/N: ikr idek what was going on btw dem kinda weird ngl

Peter: wdym idek u saw they legit hmu

Clint: Can you guys text in fucking English?

[transexualpirate]

steve: since when does everyone know we're together?!

tony: i only told bruce because he's my bro!

bruce: i only told natasha because she's scary!

natasha: i only told bucky because he's my friend!

bucky: i only told clint because he's a spy!

clint: oh, i told many, many people

[firegal19]

Bucky walks in to see his daughter, Clint, Steve, and Peter on the coffee table, chairs, and couch

Bucky: Why are you guys playing “The Floor is Lava”? You guys are over 10

Y/n: Dad, we’re not playing “Floor is Lava”.

Steve: Yeah, we’re playing “Peter lost the damn tarantula”.

Bucky: *immediately gets on the coffee table*

Tony: Language

Steve: Tony, shut up

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Clint: Cooper, where’s your report card?

Cooper: My friends stole it from me at school, so now I don’t have it anymore.

Clint: Do you think I’m stupid enough to believe that lie?

Cooper: What lie?

Clint: That you have friends.

[skylarinfinity]

child m/n: [run to laura lap and sit on it] mummy, is chicken the animal spelled the same as chicken the food?

clint: [laughing] oh somebody going to be so shock!

laura: [glare at clint but her lip slowly turn into smirk] m/n baby, mummy a bit busy right so why don't you ask that to daddy?

clint: [immediately stop laughing] wait what?! laura if i'm the one who explained it he going to cry! [laura just shrugged]

tags lists @sonicqaulan @graysonfriggason @thebettermaximofftwins @sloanalistair @acienthazard @starlinggoldeneyes @ortegaolsen @wednesdaywanda @sandwichmarvel @gardenofmarvel @wanda-cabin-natasha-jacket @panandinpain0 @badblondebisexualboy

[mamaspidershit]

Natasha: You lying, cheating, piece of shit! Clint: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD. Natasha: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING PETER WITH ME. Maria, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.

[marvel-lous-guy]

Daily Bugle news: There was a UFO spotted in central park this afternoon-

Clint: a UFO? Like... an alien spaceship? How did we not know about this!?

Nat: no! Not an alien spaceship you dumbass

Steve: it was probably just a drone or something

Bucky: but they said it was a UFO

Peter: to YOU it's a UFO! I know what it is

Tony: oh yeah? What was it then?

Peter: ...a drone carrying a huge bag of oranges, toothpaste and glitter

Tony: ...w h a t

[marvel-my-most-beloved]