#clotpoleofthelord

[bomberqueen17]

the modern A/U I’m still not writing

waititsyu replied to your post “aisatsana441 replied to your post “boo” ...”

Oh no I need this now D:

kasiganthia

I know you siad you don't want to write this and no prressure but this is amazing and if you only ever drrop rarndom thoughts on this AU i will eat them up with a spoon! I really like the idea of Jaskeir having to warm up to Geralt cause that is not something which is explored in this fandom

gnomeicecream

Beauty and The Beast and the Custudy Battle

clotpoleofthelord

ooooooooooooooooooh bbbbbbbbbbbb i waaaaaant ittttt

s-leary

I don’t talk about it here much, but I am a CASA volunteer. Which might be a role Yen would fit into, here... Not that you’re writing it.

OK OK y’all I do have some more thoughts.

 I had the seeming-at-the-moment brilliant thought that like... it’s not that Geralt’s been transplanted to the modern era, it’s that he’s survived. He’s a couple of hundred years old and is fitting in to modern life as well as he can, and the world doesn’t have much room left in it for Witchers.

Here’s the thing I thought was such a brilliant idea. IDK how it holds up but listen for four hours on the Thruway I thought this was fucking brilliant. 

The social worker’s name is Pancratz, and Geralt’s like, fuck, I used to know a Pancratz. But that happens to him a lot; he’s super fucking old and he’s known a lot of people and they’ve sort of come and gone, over the years, right? So who fucking knows; it’s not relevant at the moment, so he forgets about it.

Until maybe the Snowed In incident, and after young Mr. Pancratz has gotten over some of his terror at being unexpectedly trapped in a remote half-ruined compound with a bunch of Witchers, he winds up hanging out with Ciri, and finds her toy ukelele and tunes it up and reveals that he’s got a night job as a musician, and as soon as he starts singing, Geralt’s like

ah fuck that’s who I knew who was a Pancratz

and young Mr. Pancratz is like uh excuse me?

and Geralt’s like fucking Dandelion, his real name was fucking Pancratz, you fucking sound like him, you even smell like him, I can’t believe it took me this long

and Young Mr. Pancratz is like I’m sorry what and it turns out Dandelion was his like, 9-greats-grandfather and it’s a big deal and he’s been researching him and performing under his name and all of that and is like we thought all the Witcher stuff was fake and Geralt’s like well, i mean, it was heavily fictionalized, but no, that was me and goes into the back of one of his closets where he’s got a handy enchanted trunk that keeps shit from getting wrecked by the lack of climate control and hauls out a lute Dandelion’s daughter or somebody gave him after the old man dies and is like, well, I should probably give this to you then, and Young Mr. Pancratz pretty much faints on the spot.

Anyway. I am not writing this but I was highly amused by this imaginary scene.

[disease-danger-darkness-silence]

@clotpoleofthelord replied to your photo “disease-danger-darkness-silence: disease-danger-darkness-silence: I...”

TASHA WILL YOU WRITE ME NO PARKING FIC because my one true dream is for someone to fic my writing

LIS YOU KNOW I’M GONNA WRITE FIC REGARDLESS. I’m in the process of rereading No Parking, actually! :) So I’ll be alllll brushed up on the canon.

[lightsaroundyourvanity]

clotpoleofthelord replied to your post: fdsgfhgjhkjl remember how pretty c****** was in...

for fucks sake i instantly got this and i hate that about myself because yes, i do

LIS the only motherfucker in this town who can handle me!!! 

(i love so much when i see you pop up on tumblr btw 💕💕💕

[sadlittlenerdking]

clotpoleofthelord replied to your post “My headcannon is Todd dies in season four”

todd rules the underworld now. OUR TODD UNDERGROUND

I WILL BLOCK YOU

[messier51]

@clotpoleofthelord replied to your post “@ magicians people:  reminder that i’m okay with people unfollowing me...”

YES THIS IS EVERYTHING I WAS THINKING!!!!!!! As always, you're dead-right. And as I said to a friend just moments ago about this episode, figuring out what kind of love you have for your exes and waffling and being super confused about it is 80% of the queer twenty-something experience. This is so on-brand for both Quentin and Alice. I think they're going to come out of this as friends who understand their friendship so much better for it!!

Seeeeriously. Relationships are complicated enough, and then you add trying to be and adult and trying to figure out wtf you actually want in relationships instead of just what you think you wanted based on your weird half-formed ideas about who you were supposed to be (not that THAT sounds familiar or anything....)

I really hope they come out of this as friends because they really work well together, and they’ve both come so far. I can’t wait to see what happens next.

[nokomiss]

clotpoleofthelord replied to your post “HI if you're still taking prompts: after the Monster is dealt with,...”

YES THIS IS GORGEOUS

ahh thank you so much! 

[baredwolf]

clotpoleofthelord replied to your post “So I’ve only watched seasons 1-3 of The Magicians because that’s all...”

IT'S WORTH IT

tobitheanimegeek replied to your post “So I’ve only watched seasons 1-3 of The Magicians because that’s all...”

I have done so

aaaargh I am convinced! I can’t wait!!! I can’t believe I almost gave up on it after I made the mistake of reading the book lol

[brinnanza]

clotpoleofthelord replied to your post: we're staying in an airbnb just outside of boston...

Ooooh did you get those AWESOME storms today??? Also welcome to Boston! I hope my city is good to you!

We drove through some of it, yeah. Fortunately it didn't start until we got back on the road. (Y'all drive so fast up here?? And this is coming from a "does 79 in a 55 zone" to keep up with traffic without getting pinged for reckless driving" virginia native so.) And thanks!!

[popkin16]

clotpoleofthelord replied to your post: So far I am not too impressed with online classes...

Ooof, I feel this. I’ve taken about 15 coursera classes, and two online writing classes, and they’ve all been very stressful in completely different ways from meatspace ones.

Yeah, it’s REALLY rough. I’m not very good about managing my time, either. This semester is going to be...interesting.

[bomberqueen17]

more replying to replies birthday edition

aisatsana441 replied to your post

“replying to replies with bonus boob-centric fic snippet”

Happy birthday!!! Despite the boob chafing, I hope you're having an awesome day and doing something nice to celebrate!

Oh it’s healed now, but last week had some moments. I am celebrating by writing boob-centric femmeslash, LOL. Later we might get takeout. I would blame the pandemic but honestly that’s sort of my ideal night out anyway.

sonnetsandswingouts replied to your post “replying to replies with bonus boob-centric fic snippet”

Boob sweat is the WORST, I end up having to put a scrap of linen in between during reenacting season to avoid Bodice Cleavage Acne From Hell due to the sweat and lack of circulation.

WHY is no lingerie ever made of linen, I fucking love linen as a next-the-skin layer. I have in the past worn bras OVER a linen camisole. If you can get the creases to be in just the right place... I think they make jersey-knit linen which would be stretchy but I have always assumed that would be too spendy for me. But-- there’s been a trend lately to make wool bras, and I suppose if you got your merino/spandex blend right they’d be fine but guess what size they don’t come in, that’s right, Average And Above = a no-go for all Ethical Fashion so I don’t know why I bothered looking through every company’s identical size charts... THat, I didn’t feel so righteously mad about because I am pretty wildly statistally an outlier with bra sizes. (Though, unlike when I was young, you now can get 36I or 38H in several places, the Internet has made a few things easier!)

anyway yes when they’re in that mood the ladies must not be allowed to touch one another. I have a patented method but the linen kerchief is 👍

sorrelchestnut replied to your post “replying to replies with bonus boob-centric fic snippet”

okay yennefer critiquing the tiddy spell was exactly what i didn't know i needed today, thank you

She’s having a great time and so am I.

“There is one thing I quite badly want to do to you,” Yennefer said, “and I promise it won’t hurt, but then after that I’d be perfectly delighted to give you a thorough demonstration of the skill you came to me seeking to learn.”

“One thing,” Keira said, raising her eyebrows.

Yennefer snapped, and the spell dissolved, and Keira’s freed breasts nearly, but not quite, fell out of her shirt. “Oh!” Keira said.

exrayspex replied to your post “replying to replies with bonus boob-centric fic snippet”

i am SO looking forward to hearing more about keira's titties, bless you. also, re: summer chafing, i recently discovered these sweat-absorbing bra insert things that you just tuck under your boobs, then put your bra on as normal, and they have been so helpful in eliminating underboob rash hell. i can send you a link to them if you want, they're cheap and so so nice

A man wrote her, undeniably, and in every tiny facet of her character you can find evidence of that, in every interpretation thusfar, but just because she was created largely for the male gaze does not mean that I cannot also gaze.

Huh! I could take a look at a link for those. I’m actually fine now-- but what happened was that I was taken in by those great tomboyx bralettes, and I bought a set of the rainbow striped one and some matching underpants, and yeah sure it’s a passable sleep bra, it keeps my boobs from escaping through my arm holes or whatever, but I wore it during the day one day because I couldn’t resist the allure of the matching set (normally unattainable at my size) and that was absolutely stupid, it was entirely unequal to the challenge of my considerable topography in conjunction with a busy active day of physical activity. So that was four or five days of last week, alas.

But-- ah yes! An exception to the Ethical Fashion Is Only For Thinner Than Average Women-- Tomboyx! Gender-neutral, and while they don’t have something for *every* body, they go from a 26″ waist to a 63″ waist, so that’s a bigger spread than the other companies I was looking at. too bad they don’t sell trousers like I need.

clotpoleofthelord replied to your post “New Fic: Learning Experiences”

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, THIS IS LOVELY

well thanks. :)

A commenter just said that reading the story was like looking at Geralt’s baby pics and I am unutterably charmed by the image.

[disease-danger-darkness-silence]

clotpoleofthelord replied to your post “I really do want to play Untitled Goose Game.”

hey i'm gonna send you $15 to play it check your venmo

YOU ARE THE BEST I’m sorry I didn’t answer sooner I was busy doing this

FUCKIN RUDE 

Thank you <33333333

[lightsaroundyourvanity]

clotpoleofthelord replied to your post: i’m a little bit drunk and extremely salty ama

more of a comment than a question: i think you’re neat

god i miss you............ can we plz hang in sep if we have space.........

[destielficarchive]

Deleted Author Profile: TamrynEradani

Author and co-author of more than 50 fics, for a while TamrynEradani was one of the most popular authors in the fandom, especially known for their break-out BDSM fic, “Carry On.” They’re also one of the easiest deleted authors to talk about, because they gave warning before they deleted so people could save files and (as far as I know, anyway) gave blanket permission for copies of their works to be distributed. 

Work Highlights:

Carry On, and its Timestamp (Explicit). 148,087 words (main story); 5,985 words (timestamp). No Archive Warnings Apply.

When Sam gets into Stanford, Dean needs a bigger paycheck than Bobby's garage can give him. Luckily, he knows a guy.

This is the original summary but it unfortunately gives little idea of what Carry On is actually about; basically, from a “fandom history” stand point, Carry On (written in 2013) created the BDSM genre for the Destiel fandom. While of course it wasn’t the first Destiel BDSM fic, and far from the only one even at the time it was published, it was such a major work in terms of popularity, and so well known and widely read that, especially in 2014 and 2015, almost every BDSM story that came out bore echoes of Carry On. The basic premise is: Dean needs money for Sam’s tuition, and so he decides to become a sub-for-hire, and is hired by Cas. Sound familiar? Well, Carry On did it first. (don’t take this as a judgement call or a statement on the quality of Carry On or any of the works that came after).

(Archivist’s Note: don’t expect me to write quite so much about every story, but unlike the vast majority of the fics in the Archive, I actually read Carry On, when it was still up on AO3, and so I can speak a little more than usual to it’s backstory and plot.)

Set Me Up, Buttercup (Teen+). 30,071 words. No Archive Warnings Apply.

Dean is the starting setter for his college's volleyball team. His plans for the year include winning Conferences, passing his classes, kicking Benny's butt at basketball, and making sure Ash remembers to eat and bathe on a semi-regular basis. He doesn't plan on meeting Cas Milton but once he does, Dean's carefully planned year changes.  

TamrynEradani’sentry to the 2013 Dean/Cas Bing Bang is a college AU with art by crimsonswirls.

Time of My Life (Teen+). 35,940 words. No Archive Warnings Apply.

Dean Winchester is an ice dancer who is scrambling to find a new partner after his couldn't skate with him anymore. Castiel is an ice dancer who can't seem to keep a partner. They're each other's last chance but can they also be each other's best chance?

It’s been years since I read this but irc, Time of My Life isn’t a Cutting Edge AU - TamrynEradani had never seen the movie, I think is in one of their author’s notes - but if you’ve seen the movie you’d never guess that. As the summary makes clear it’s not a precise overlap, but there’s definite commonalities.

The Dean Smith ‘Verse (Explicit). 6 stories, 28,483 words. No Archive Warnings Apply.

Dean Smith is a man of routine. Castiel takes him apart.

Another BDSM AU; Dean Smith becomes the sub for Cas. As a side note, the verse includes a threesome with Benny, but is most definitely primarily a Destiel AU.

This Crooked Fish, co-written with clotpoleofthelord (Explicit). 3 stories, 52,249 words.

With the first Lady Knight in centuries, a tournament and Progress to honor a Royal Marriage, and the Crown Prince falling in love with the King of the Rogues, it's certainly not going to be a boring year in the kingdom of Tortall.

Written with Tamryneradani, who is no longer on the internet.

Note that This Crooked Fish is still available on AO3.

Interested in any of these or other works by TamrynEradani? There is a publicly accessible list of their most popular works, with links to download them, that can be found here. (the archive also reblogged this post earlier this week)

Or, click on the read more below to see a list of which TamrynEradani fics are available in the Archive, and which we’re still looking for!

Warning: While I am willing to distribute what I have - please contact me by DM for more information - if I hear anything from the author or their representative asking me not to distribute these fics I will cease to do so. Thank you for understanding!

Fics by TamrynEradani currently in the Destiel Fic Archive:

A Glimpse of the World

A Lesson in Communication

An Empty Heart and a Full Clip 1: An Empty Heart and a Full Clip

An Empty Heart and a Full Clip 2: Graduation Party

Baking Season

Beloved

Both Sides Now

Carry On 1: Carry On

Carry On 2: Five Times Sam and Cas Met

Dean Smith Verse 1: Delayed Gratification

Dean Smith Verse 2: Who I Am When I'm With You

Dean Smith Verse 3: Positive Reinforcement

Dean Smith Verse 4: Work It

Dean Smith Verse 5: Weekend Getaway

Dean Smith Verse 6: Caught in Between

Don't Stop Believing

Employee of the Month

Games We Play

Get Out Alive

He Prayed to You Every Night

Heavenly Delights

Here in Your Arms

Hero

His Mother's Son

I Can Haz Kittenz

I'm Sorry

If You Rock the Boat, You're Gonna Get Splashed

Inside Your Heaven

Like a Human

Morning Sunshine

Mornings Like These

Most Obnoxious Angel in the Garrison 1: Paging the Righteous Man

Most Obnoxious Angel in the Garrison 2: Baked Lays and Nail Polish

My Morning Light

Never Enough

No Place Like Home

Now I See

Part of the Family

Patchwork Project

Peace of Mind

Rest for the Weary

Set Me Up, Buttercup

Softly Spoken, Softly Received

Take Us Home

Teacher Dean 1: New Students and New Beginnings

Teacher Dean 2: Tea Parties and Burritos

Teenage Rebellion

The Auction

The Dean Winchester Guide to Dating 1: Consent and Intent

The Dean Winchester Guide to Dating 2: Flowers are a Must

The Life of a Hunter

The Monster Within

Time of My Life

To Boldly Go

Unusual Combinations

Welcome to the Dork Side

What's in a Name

Whisper My Confessions to the Dark

Work It

Fics I Do Not Have Copies Of - IF YOU HAVE COPIES AND ARE WILLING TO SHARE THEM WITH ME, PLEASE CONTACT ME!

A Lifetime Special

Angels We Have Heard on High

Deck the Halls

Drive-In

Get Off My Beach

I Put Myself in Your Hands

My Pretty Boy

Speak Now

Tinfoil Dinners

Note: if you know of or have a copy of a TamrynEradani work that is on neither of the two lists just above, that means I don’t know said story even exists, and even if you don’t have a copy I’d appreciate if you could tell me the work title so I can try to find it. I do my best to be thorough, but tracking down full work lists for deleted authors is an imperfect art at best, and can be nigh-impossible at worst. Thank you!

[potrix-the-queerschlaeger]

of cockroaches and men

For @clotpoleofthelord​, who appreciates protective BAMF Jaskier just as much as I do. A huge thanks to @auripigmentum for listening to my rambling and coming up with snarky songs for Jaskier. ❤

(This story has also been posted on AO3.)

- - -

As if being stuck waiting for her supplier in this sorry excuse for a town full of narrow-minded, superstitious simpletons isn't already frustrating enough, the first familiar face Yennefer spots when she walks into the grubby tavern is that of her least favourite bard. With a sigh, Yennefer crosses the room to one of the less obviously sticky tables and takes a seat, ordering a goblet of wine she hopes will, if not enjoyable, at least be palatable.

Not so long ago, she could've consoled herself with the fact that, wherever Jaskier might show up, Geralt probably wasn't far behind, but after their last, fairly disastrous encounter on that mountain, Yennefer has promised herself she's done pursuing something they both know won't work or last. She's grown fond of Geralt, despite of and separately from the wish that's still binding them together, that much she can admit at least to herself. Fondness does not automatically equal love, however, and eternity is an awfully long time to be spent with someone you'll never be able to feel entirely sure about.

Sipping the, to her surprise, pleasantly sweet wine, Yennefer lets her gaze roam around the tavern. It's fairly empty, still, this early in the evening, and so her eyes eventually, inevitably settle on Jaskier.

He's got parchments strewn all across his own table, bottom lip caught between his teeth and brow furrowed as he scribbles away. He takes absent pulls of his ale every now and again, too focused on his writing to notice anything around him, and Yennefer feels another rush of irritation towards him when the tavern's owner, who's been ignoring her and her empty goblet for the last half hour, goes and replaces Jaskier's mug without having to be asked.

The tavern does fill up as the hour grows later, people coming in for company and supper, the latter of which, Yennefer observes suspiciously, Jaskier is served on the house. It's when the majority of the patrons are full and beginning to feel tipsy that the requests for music start up.

The owner is the one to approach Jaskier, looking strangely nervous as he talks quietly, gesturing at the rowdy crowd. Her curiosity piqued despite herself, Yennefer waves a subtle hand and murmurs a quiet enhancement spell, leaning forward in her seat expectantly.

“—rooms will be provided to the both of you, of course. Completely free of charge,” the owner offers with a tight smile.

“Oh?” Jaskier asks with a quirked brow, his own smile wide and downright vicious. “For both me and my—what was it again? Sick, disgusting abomination of a companion, yes? Those were your words, last time, were they not?”

Yennefer can see the owner swallow uncomfortably. “Sir, please, I—”

“Well, it's your lucky day!” Jaskier interrupts cheerfully. He indicates the parchments before he goes on with, “I've been composing all afternoon, you see. There's one little tune I'm sure you'll love. I think I might call it Abel's Tale, after you. Would you like a taste?”

The owner's face grows pale, but before he can answer, Jaskier starts humming and then singing softly, “When the cockroaches dance on the tables, you damn well know you are dining at Abel's—”

“Please,” the owner cuts in with a grimace, dropping several coins on the table in front of Jaskier. “What you paid me for your stay the last time. I—everyone's just begun to forget about your, uh. Your previous piece concerning my establishment.”

Jaskier barely glances at the coins before looking back up at the owner expectantly. The owner breathes out with a shudder, then offers, “Rooms and nightly baths, two meals a day, for as long as it takes your—your friend to finish his contract.”

“How very kind of you!” Jaskier chirps, one corner of his mouth curled up mischievously. He sweeps up the coins, gathers his parchments and stands, picking up his lute. He pats the man's chest as he squeezes by him, hand lingering. “Always a pleasure to do business with you, Abel.”

The patrons are yelling and hooting as Jaskier climbs up onto an empty bench and some of them holler when he strums the first few notes of Toss a Coin. He laughs happily and smiles at them, but his eyes are suddenly on Yennefer, twinkling and knowing.

Then, his smile turns wicked and he winks.

And Yennefer can't help the laugh that bubbles out of her, raising her goblet for a toast.

Annoying, yes, but also highly entertaining, Geralt's little bard.

*

Yennefer gets the word that her supplier has arrived the next day. The small, impromptu market has been set up just outside of town, close to the forest, magically concealed so it’s not noticeable unless one already knows it’s there.

Filian has the powdered gryphon talons, as promised, and Yennefer’s in good spirits as she wanders between stalls, right up until she sees them; fairies. A good dozen of them, crammed into a tiny cage like animals, with nowhere to hide from people’s poking fingers.

Hands clenched into fists, magic crackling around them, Yennefer stalks towards the offending stall, only to freeze when none other than Jaskier gets there first. Furious, Yennefer moves a few steps closer, but deflates somewhat at the tight look on Jaskier’s face.

He’s smiling, but even Yennefer, who barely knows him at all, can tell it’s forced. The vendor either can’t or simply doesn’t care, more than happy to show off his basilisk fangs when Jaskier inquires after some. It’s while the man is ducking under the display case that Jaskier’s hand shoots out towards the fairy cage, quick as a flash, pushing the deadbolt out of the lock.

Yennefer holds her breath, watching as the vendor lays out the fangs for Jaskier to inspect, but most of her attention on the fairies. They’ve all gathered close to the cage door and are whispering excitedly among themselves, until one of them is brave enough to push the door open.

For one, long moment, none of them move. And then it’s chaos.

The fairies explode out of the cage with high-pitched screeches and the vendor yells, cursing loudly as they descend on him, scratching and biting at his face. Jaskier is grinning as he moves out of the way, already turned halfway around when he stops and reaches back to grab the fangs, sliding them into his bag. He makes it all the way to the far side of the market before the fairies let up and the vendor seems to realise he’s been robbed. He looks murderous, growling and wiping at the blood on his face, craning his neck to glance around searchingly.

Yennefer twitches her fingers and his stall collapses.

Jaskier is waiting for her by the town gate, easily falling into step with her on the way back to the tavern. They settle down at a table and order lunch, eating in companionable silence for a while until Jaskier, after swallowing a bite of venison, says bluntly, “Thank you.”

Yennefer takes a sip of wine before answering. “Fairy trade is fairly common in these parts.”

“Oh, please,” Jaskier huffs and rolls his eyes. “We both know not everything that’s common or normal is always right and just.”

Yennefer smiles into her goblet and nearly chokes on a mouthful of wine when Jaskier adds, “And he called Geralt an ugly brute, so, you know. Two birds, one stone and all that.”

“I’ve misjudged you, bard,” Yennefer admits, but doesn’t elaborate when Jaskier pulls a confused face.

Instead, she waves over one of the barmaids. “Your best bottle of brandy, two glasses.” Jaskier’s eyebrows shoot up. Yennefer quirks one back. “You’re going to decline free drink?”

They’ve made their way through most of the bottle, Jaskier flushed and silly and Yennefer not faring much better, when a hush falls over the tavern. Yennefer doesn’t have to turn around to know who’s just walked inside.

Jaskier’s face lights up when Geralt stops at their table, hand clumsy as he tugs at Geralt’s sleeve. “Look who I ran into,” he slurs and leans his head against Geralt’s chest with a contented hum.

Geralt puts a hand on the back of his neck, eyes going soft, and squeezes gently. He glances at Yennefer, looking conflicted, but Yennefer just shakes her head and smiles, offering him her glass.

“Do I want to know why you reek of fairy magic?” Geralt murmurs as he slides onto the bench next to Jaskier, accepting the brandy from Yennefer.

Jaskier snorts and starts cackling.

Yennefer, to her own shock, finds herself giggling right along.

Geralt sighs and throws back his drink.

[ghostalservice]

FRIENDS. I AM CHANGING MY NAME FOR THE FIRST TIME IN UHHHHH NINE YEARS? THIS BLOG WAS CLOTPOLEOFTHELORD. IT WILL BE, GOING FORWARD, GHOSTALSERVICE! 

[ghost-woods]

Extremely Bold Magicians Finale Predictions

someone is in an elevator

there are mirrors

Josh stops being a fish

the Monster is at the Physical Kids Cottage

something takes place in a forest

there is tutting

Fogg looks at a globe

there is water

the cure for Poison Room poisoning comes up

Quentin and Alice have a conversation

there is cake of some kind (literal and/or metaphorical)

Margo puts her Fairy Eye back in

Sunderland appears

the Monster wears a graphic tee

Quentin holds at least one Sorrow at some point

Penny40 says hey to someone

there is blood

some or all of that blood is on Eliot's body

i cry

(brought to you by @messier51, @highonlizardeliot, @electricpurple89, @clotpoleofthelord, @makilade, @bakasara, my anxiety, and general pre-finale stress over at #rao)