#cod incorrect quotes

[metallictastinglifesupportliquid]

Y/N, standing on a chair: The floor is hating Simon! Soap: *jumps into Price's arms* Price: *climbs onto the table carrying Soap* Gaz: *lifts his feet off the floor from his chair and continues scrolling his phone* Ghost: *lies down on the floor* Y/N: NO-

[feralgoblinqueen]

Y/N: In ten years time, if the two of us aren’t married, let’s promise each other to hunt each other for sport.

Ghost: To hunt each other for sport?

Y/N: Do you agree?

Ghost: No 😑

Y/N: Oh, okay… I’ll go ask Soap…

Ghost: I was hoping for let’s get married or let’s live together

Y/N: 😳🫣

[mayflora-18]

Incorrect CoD Quotes #6 (aka Shit I Can Hear Graves Saying)

Graves: I am not a successful adult! I don't eat vegetables and/or take care of myself!

---

Graves, whispering: I'm not convinced I know how to read. I've just memorized a lot of words.

---

Gaz: How do you think this is your towel? Do you even wash it?

Graves: No, I don't wash the towel, the towel washes me. Who washes a towel?

Soap: You never wash...?

Graves: You wash your towel?

Gaz: You never wash the towel?

Graves: What am I gonna do? Wash the shower next?

Gaz: *gags*

(Keeping it short and sweet today, saving the rest for later 😊).

[neoarchipelago]

On mission

Y/N: *taking out a knife* every room can become a panic room if you give just a fucking minute...

Soap: I'm scared LT... LT?

Ghost: I'm horny.

[blingblong55]

therapy, maybe? -Simon Riley

R/N: we're dating, of course I'll ask to wear your clothes

Ghost: we're dating, of course I installed tracking apps in your phone so I can see where you are at all times because I'm afraid my enemies are going to kidnap you

R/N: are you being serious?

Ghost:....no it's for the video *camera cuts*

R/N: we're dating, of course I love when you get sick so I can baby you

Ghost: we're dating, of course I gave you that necklace that has a tracker in case you realise you have tracker on your phone and the necklace also has a camera and its not because I don't trust you but because my family was killed and now I fear you're next

R/N: Simon- *camera cuts*

[witchthewriter]

Gaz: Soap and Y/N are missing, can you find them?

Simon: What, do you think I have them microchipped or something?

Price: Well, do you?

Simon:

Simon: Yeah, hang on.

[ragingbookdragon]

Laswell: This is the team I want you to be a medic for.

Y/N: This hellish nightmare of a squad?

Laswell: They’re not that bad.

Y/N: I have a twenty-seven year old who has an inferiority complex because he’s the youngest man here, a Scotsman who likes to have constant pissing matches that end with him speaking a language no one understands, a living Halloween decoration with so many issues I would be here for hours explaining them, I have nothing negative to say about Farah and Alex, and a grumpy old man who thinks he’s a DILF but I don’t really think he inherently knows what qualifies being a DILF but I don’t have the heart to tell him.

Laswell: Well…Farah and Alex are wonderful.

[lovifie]

Soap: Ghost, do you love me like a brother?

Ghost, sighing: I love you like a stepfather loves his autistic child.

Soap: ...

Ghost: Not because be has to... But because the government pays me to.

Soap:

Ghost:

Soap, voice cracking: The government is paying you?

Ghost: Not enough.

Soap: :(

I'm sorry I saw a tiktok and it was literally them

[metallictastinglifesupportliquid]

Y/N: Hi I'm your medic and I'll be drawing your blood today, as soon as I finish this capri sun Y/N: *misses the hole four times then finally punches the straw through the side* Ghost, sweating: PRICE

[feralgoblinqueen]

*141 and Y/N actually getting a weekend off together*

Laswell: This weekend’s safety brief is: don’t add to the population and don’t subtract from the population. Do not end up in the hospital, newspapers, or jail.

Price: If you DO end up in jail establishment dominance quickly.

Soap: Well there goes about half of my plans.

Gaz: If we subtract from the population but then add to it, does it balance out?

Y/N: If more than one of us ends up in the same jail and dominance is established, does the dominant one get a promotion?

Ghost: If we end up in the same jail there’s no way you’ll be the dominant one.

Laswell: 🤦‍♀️ Is it too much to ask for you to behave normally for 48 hours?

141: 👁️👄👁️ yes…?

[ylskquevmxv]

Y/N: *gasp* omg the queen died

ghost: good

Price: jus waitn for the rest of em now

Gaz: i thought she was immortal?

Soap: surprised she lasted this long, honestly thought shed kick the bucket years ago

Kate: are you all not sad?

Y/N: ???? Of course not??? we're not tories Kate. the only sad thing about this is that we've now got Charles and camilla

Price: rest in peace diana

Ghost: amen

Gaz: amen

Y/N: amen

Soap: aye

Kate: soap you're Scottish

Soap: I'm also an empath

[kimjun]

Ghost and you walking towards the kitchen where the team is… Ghost is drunk

Yn, to Ghost: ...at least invite me to dinner

Ghost: I don't date married women, sorry.

Yn: But I'm your wife

Ghost: I don't make exceptions.

team starts laughing

[your-local-jedi-commander]

CoD x reader y/n incorrect quotes!!! Pt. 2

Part 2 letsgooo

König: so you like cats?

Y/n: yeah…

König: *tries to impress them by slowly pushing a glass off the table*

Ghost: no one can hurt me if I’m cold and detached and not emotionally invested in anyone

Y/n: hi :)

Ghost: *sweating* oh fuck…

Ghost: name one thing you wanna try in the bedroom

Y/n: seeing you get a full 8 hours of sleep

Y/n: can you at least try to see things from my perspective??

Ghost: *crouches down*

König: *kneels down*

Soap: *sits down on a chair*

Y/n: I hate you all

Ghost, stroking Y/n’s hair: you’re so tiny and adorable

Y/n: I could kill you in your sleep

Ghost, with love in his eyes: I know

[neoarchipelago]

Y/N: that's ridiculous... Ghost doesn't have a crush on me.

Gaz: yes he does

Soap: yes he does

Price: yes he does

Ghost: internally screaming yes I do

[blingblong55]

12inches tonight-141

Valentines evening on base

Soap: taking my lass out tonight

Gaz: treating mine to a nice dinner

Price: and I'm taking my missus out to dinner while the kids stay home

-Ghost and Y/N, taking a pizza out the oven(the two singles of the team)-

Ghost: anyway, pizza is ready

Y/N: *taking pizza out and showing it to the others* this is the 12 inches we'll be getting tonight..

Soap: sometimes, I am concerned for you both

[shoukiko]

Is this funny, it’s 2 am and I just put this together on my phone