#cod nikolai

[notspiders]

Liminal Spaces w/ COD:MW

Part 1

~~~~

Credits for some of the ideas goes to: @angelcqre , @roller-rink-haruno , and @sentientcave / @bluemoonrover. I love all of you so much, thank you for the support!!!

~~~~

It's more than just Task Force 141.

Don't like them? Consider these following options! :) Watch your back.

Phillip Graves - The Farm:

There's really nowhere to run off to. Good luck.

His Shadows are the farmhands and the scarecrows.

His animals are... weird.

His horses are a bit too smart, and you think you seen them peering through your bedroom window. Which is nice, until you remember you're on the second floor.

They're... always crunching on something. Why is the family of mice decreasing?

Why do the dogs look human-like? Is it the eyes?

But, you know, ignoring them... the BBQ and steak isn't so bad. You'll get the juiciest steak here. The best baked bread...

Oh, hun. You're cooking, by the way.

He's waiting on that blueberry pie too, you know.

Look at the closet. It's filled with his favorite clothes for you. :)

Why don't you bend over that counter and let him...

Oh? No? You're saying no?

That's adorable. You now have until three to lay on his lap. :)

Alex Keller - Highway

Well you do have to be in a car for this. Walking is a bit of a pain. :/

The endless highway... Sometimes you'll spot a car driving by. But they disappear when you try to speed up to them.

There's an occasional gas station smack in the middle.

And maybe the next hundreds of miles there's another...

Always stocked to the max. Anything you want, it's there.

It's cool inside too.

He's always there too.

You can keep driving but you need the gas. It'll be a pain to have your car broken down in the middle of nowhere. And the sun is scorching hot.

Oh!

Princess needs somewhere to stay, yeah?

That motel looks sus but a place is a place, and a bed would be nice than the hard car seats.

You know...

Alex can do more than just fill your car. :)

Laswell - Cruise Ship:

The cruise ship is always moving in the waters. You don't know where it goes, or when there will be land, you feel like the boat has moved for hours but...

All the clocks are not working. It's all frozen. The day is not changing either. No clouds either. Perfectly sunny.

You have everything in this empty cruise ship. The rooms are always open for you.

Beds are clean, no matter how many times you mess up the sheets, when you exit the room and enter it again- it's back to its pristine state.

The bathrooms are neat. The shampoo and conditioner go great on your hair. There's other products- makeup, medical, more toiletries- in the drawers, should you ever need them.

Theaters, arcades, casinos, restaurants- all free for you to use.

It feels great, if it didn't feel like you're being watched constantly.

You'd enjoy this place, if you didn't see things move in the corner of your eye. You sworn you saw and heard the splash of water in the pool. And that you heard the laughter of someone in a different room. And the chattering in the restaurant.

But every time you rush in, there's no one there.

No one is here in this cruise ship. No one but ghosts and echoes of families who've been here. They're harmless... Just ignore them, dear.

Good luck trying to avoid Laswell, too. She's always watching through the cameras. :)

Under any circumstances, do not jump out.

The ocean is not the ocean.

Nikolai - Airplane

Let's get this straight, yeah?

Good girls stay in first class. Bad girls go to economy.

And if you behave like an animal, well, depends on our pilot's mood. You either get called into the cockpit...

Or down into the cargo you go! :)

Don't worry! He's very nice. If you're acting up, he gives you a warning.

That being turbulence. If the plane is shaking you better stop what you're doing. Now.

It's a strange plane... You can keep on walking and it just doesn't seem to end. Place changes too, when you try to go back. It's always something new.

Plenty of movies and games in the airplane for you to watch. Don't bother taking your phone out, it won't work.

There are very nice flight attendants that'll prepare you the best food you've ever eaten. Airplane food isn't so bad after all. You can have any drink you want too.

Just don't talk with them more than just about the food. If you say anything else, they'll leave immediately.

If you flirt with them, it's their death sentence. You'll wonder why they pale and walk away so fast...

If you glance at the window, you might just catch a glimpse of them flying out into the sky.

Speaking of which... It's pitch black outside. You do see the airplane wing and the red flashing light at the end... But other than that, you can hardly differentiate the night from earth... or sea.

König - Pools

You stumbled into one of these rooms and found the naked Austrian in the pools.

Don't run! Please! You're the first human face he's seen in a while!

It's not all that bad. There's some food in the fridge- a microwave is nearby for you to reheat some foods- and the water is fresh.

The best baths are here. There's all of these shampoos, conditioners, lotions, bathbombs...

Poor König never used them because he doesn't know how to! Teach him please!

Seriously. Gaz gave him the 13 in 1 unlimited dish soap that has Johnny's face smack in the middle of it to shoo him out of his mall- and König's been using that to wash himself ever since. :(

Don't mind him cuddling you all the time.

You're the softest thing he's ever held in his hands. The towels and rubber duckies can't even compare.

Don't try to escape or leave his side now.

There are monsters here that'll be happy to drown you.

Alejandro Vargas - The Resort

A massive upgrade compared to Ghost's Bachelor Shack by the sea.

It's still... very empty.

It's just you and Alejandro.

Food and drink are limitless. Ask for anything, Alejandro will deliver.

Relax, love. You deserve this break. You deserve everything.

No annoying seagulls squawking at you. You do see them flying in the distance though... They never come, nor do they ever land.

The waters are crystal clear. It's the perfect temperature to slip inside and just float in it.

You're never cold. It's toasty warm, with an occasional breeze. Feels perfect. The hotel has perfect air conditioning, if you want to stay inside.

You get a camera, instead of your phone. Go take some pictures!

There's so many things to do here. Scuba-diving, sailing, swimming, surfing...

Exploring tide pools with Alejandro. :)

Rodolfo Parra - Aquarium

Enjoy yourself in the aquarium! Don't you worry, the animals here are all treated wonderfully.

Let him be your tour guide. He'll show you every marine animal in this domain.

And it seems he has everything here. You can take pictures! Just without the flash please. Seriously. No flash. In fact, how about just let him take the pictures for you? Pose with him and smile for the camera... :)

If you want, you can feed the animals here!

You can pet some of the animals in some spots. Rub the back of a patient orca. Allow a sea otter to sniff your hands. Pat the belly of a lazy seal.

Come over to the Ray Pool! The stingrays are eager to feel your touch.

The beluga swims beside you as you walk down the tunnel. A dolphin leaps out of the water to greet you. A manatee smushes its face against a window in an attempt to give you a >kith<.

Ah you're hungry? Not to worry. The cafeteria is down here. Anything you want to eat or drink, it's all here.

After lunch, how about you go diving with Rudy? Don't worry. It's safe. He'll take you to one of the biggest pools and you can dive in beside him.

The Humpback Whale nuzzles you affectionately.

Try not to stray away from Rudy. You can easily get lost in these halls... If you do, stay still and just let him come up to you.

There's no point in hiding. The fish are on his side. :/

Farah Karim:

I truly believe that Farah actually doesn't have a liminal space.

She guides you instead.

She helps you go through the domains.

Farah is someone you can trust in this liminal region.

She'll watch your back as you two camp in Soap's woods. She'll lead you out of Price's suburbia. She sneaks you away from Graves's farm.

She'll protect you.

Bonus w/ Ghost:

After you met with Alejandro and seen his beach, Ghost upgraded his domain.

Well, slightly.

There is a lighthouse now.

Do you remember playing in the beach with him? You two built sandcastles together.

He's awfully proud of himself when he tips the bucket and pulls it up. He's made his first sand tower, really.

"Tha's gonna be where you and me live, lovie."

...No wonder why that lighthouse looks awfully familiar.

It also explains why it looks like it's going to crumble any second.

Sure, there's blankets and lovely cushions, some food and drink in the corner-

It's... somehow colder here than the shack. :/

You can practically feel the tower shake as the waves crash against it.

Ghost assures you- as you curl up beside him on the small bed for his warmth- that it's perfectly safe. Trust him. Please.

Please don't leave him.

But if you really need to...

He'll light his tower to guide you through the dark.

[cod-dump]

Graves: I don’t want to start a fight

(five minutes later)

Graves: This tea is dogshit

Price: The FUCK did you say??

Graves: My tea is better

Price: EXCUSE ME-?

Nik: Love, put down the chair-

[cerise-on-top]

heyhey!! just wanted to say your works are amazing and i love them so so so SO much aagghhh!!

now onto the request— what if,, what if reader knew a ton of languages like nikolai does, and they call their s/o pet names in those languages. an example would be,, maybe if they knew french they would say 'mon chéri' or perhaps they picked up romanian at some point and would call them 'dragă'

the characters i have in mind are price, nik, alejandro, & rudy, if that's okay !! (´▽`)

sorry for the super long ask, lol :')

Hey there! Thank you, that makes me really happy to hear :D And don't worry about sending longer asks, I really don't mind ^^ Also, that request is really cute! I love reader speaking several languages and being a sweetheart in all of them :D

Price, Alejandro, Rodolfo and Nikolai with an S/O who Knows Many Languages

Price: I think he knows quite a few languages himself, being a captain in the SAS and all. Not nearly as many as Nikolai, but he probably knows a good three to four languages, so he likely wouldn’t be entirely clueless when you call him something along the lines of mon petit chou fleur. While he won’t understand every term of endearment you call him, it does warm his heart to hear you speak a language he doesn’t know. It flows off your tongue very nicely and he just loves listening to you. Depending on what kind of language it may be, even the profanities sound nice. Although whenever you want to get his attention, just to call him something in a language he doesn’t understand, he sort of expects it to be some cute pet name. Will always smile at you, even if you were to call him your albernes kleines Kaninchen. Retorts with a pet name in one of the languages he speaks. Sometimes he does feel the urge to learn a new language, just for you. Or maybe you could learn a new language together? Practice with each other and just have a good time overall? He might bring up the idea at some point.

Alejandro: Like Price, he probably knows a few languages himself. More than the average person, but not nearly as many as Nikolai. So probably three to four as well. However, because he knows Spanish there’s a good chance he can derive most words in a Romance language. Call him something along the lines of giliw and he’ll always retort with some embarrassing pet name in Spanish. Yes, he knows several languages himself, but that doesn’t mean he won’t almost always revert to Spanish anyway. Pretends that you’re using your languages against him and calls you a traitor. And, as is the rule in your household when you’ve betrayed him, you will be held accountable. Lots of chasing through the house. Will “interrogate” you to get you to tell him what you said. Call him a term of endearment in Spanish and you won’t ever hear the end of it. No matter how many times he hears you call him guapo, he always gets that goofy grin on his face. Might research embarrassing terms of endearment to use on you in any other language. And yes, his goal is to find a language you don’t speak. Once he’s found one? He’s not gonna let you live it down. He’s bested you, and that’s all he wanted.

Rodolfo: You’d actually have to call him by his name if you want his reaction since he usually just tends to block out people speaking a language he doesn’t know. Why bother trying to understand someone like that? It’s not like he’ll learn the language overnight anyway. Rodolfo knows about three languages, so not as many as Alejandro. But he knows English and Spanish, which means he can communicate in most places anyway. He thinks he knows enough languages since learning one takes roughly an eternity and he doesn’t have the time for that anyway. Call him Cục vàng and he’ll just look at you as though you’ve grown a second head. You’d have to tell him what it means and then he’ll smile. While he will always appreciate a good Hartlam, he might look at you confused until you tell him you love him. Might not always retort with a pet name of his own, but will mix it up among the languages he does know since he doesn’t wanna seem too stupid next to you. Will also sometimes look up new terms of endearment in languages he doesn’t know so he can surprise you, but might get a bit shy since he might botch the pronunciation a bit. But he tries, and that’s all that matters.

Nikolai: He canonically knows eight languages, so there’s a good chance he knows what you’re saying. Even when you’re saying something in a language he might not entirely know, he might be able to derive the word from a language he does know. Although he may love any pet name you give him, he especially loves any Russian ones since he’s very attached to his country and his native tongue. Goes absolutely wild whenever you call him radnoy. There’s just something so sweet about you calling him something nice in Russian, doesn’t even matter if you botch the pronunciation. Will always give you a hug and a kiss to your forehead since he will always be reminded of how much he loves you. But even a simple min søde skat will get him to smile, even if he has no idea what it means this time. Because of you he might be inspired to pick up some new languages along the way, maybe even ones you don’t know so you can get the same treatment he does with you. Whenever you speak a language he doesn’t know he gets heart eyes for you. You’re just so gorgeous, you’re just so very smart. However, at some point he will just start speaking Russian to you, even if you don’t know the language. He won’t say anything mean, he’ll just tell you how precious you are and how much he loves you.

[mayflora-18]

Incorrect CoD Quotes #5

Sherlock: *gets stabbed*

Sherlock: Oh, look at that.

Sherlock: I’ve been impaled.

Nikolai: 😱

———

Nikolai, singing: I have loved you since we were 18.

Price: We met when we were, like, 23.

Nikolai: …

Nikolai, singing: I’ve been stalking you since I was 18!

———

Ghost: You have exactly three seconds to explain why you just woke me up.

Price: Because it’s morning and you should be awake.

Ghost: Oh… Interesting… I didn’t know you wanted to die today!

Price: Simon, you can’t kill me.

Ghost: It’s too late, I’ve already decided how.

———

Sherlock: I really like Eminem.

Soap: I prefer Skittles.

Sherlock: No like the rapper-

Soap: WHY WOULD YOU EAT THE WRAPPER?!!?

———

Sherlock: I have never seen two stable best friends. Always one of them has to lose their shit.

*Ghost and Soap look at each other*

Ghost: Wait, you’re telling me one of us is actually supposed to be stable!?

Soap: Ah, shite!

———

Soap: Who did you look up to most as a child and why?

Gaz: Uh, my parents because they were taller than me.

———

Soap: There are 1 million 13 thousand 150 words in the ENTIRE English Dialect and yet there is not a single combination of them that describes my URGE to HIT you WITH A CHAIR!

Graves: *pissed off*

*Soap pulls out a black umbrella from who knows where and opens it in front of Graves, showing him a hand that was giving him the middle finger*

———

Laswell: What was Plan A?

Ghost: Don’t fuck up.

Price: And what was Plan B?

Soap: Don’t fuck up Plan A.

Price: And what did you guys do?

Gaz: Fucked up p-

Sherlock: You fucked up Plan A.

———

Rudy: Ale, get out of the house. Valeria is here!

Alejandro: Well, tell Valeria to hold up because I’m doing some important shit.

*Alejandro starts playing music*

Alejandro’s phone: “You used to call me on my cell phone”~

Valeria: What the fuck?

———

General Shepherd: If you don’t like me at my worst, then you don’t like me at my best.

Price, holding a gun to Shepherd’s head: I don’t like you at all!

———

Sherlock: In every group of friends, there is the dumb one.

*Ghost looks at Soap*

Soap: Really

———

Laswell: When did you get here?

Price: I spent the night.

Laswell: …But I remember you leaving before I went to bed. You said “Good night, I’m going home!” And then you left.

Price: Yeah, but then on my way out I tripped and fell down the stairs.

Laswell: Oh my god, were you hurt?

Price: Nah, I just didn’t feel like getting up.

———

*at 7am*

Sherlock: Why is Gaz running?

Sherlock, yelling: Are you ok!? Is somebody chasing you!?

Gaz, yelling back: I’m running on purpose!

Sherlock: You’re running on purpose? It’s 7 in the morning!

———

Ghost: ArE yOu ReAdY tO DiE????

Sherlock: No??

Ghost: ThEn I’lL cOmE bAcK lAtEr!

———

Soap, slurring: You do realize that humans were really supposed to be on this earth to eat fruit-

Price: Is he drinking?

Soap: -in the wilderness butt naked-

Nikolai: I love it when he’s like this.

Soap: -and fuck, right?

Sherlock: He’s definitely drunk.

Soap: All this hard work shit is shit we brought ourselves.

———

Price: Where are you, Laswell? This place is fancy, and I don’t know which fork to kill myself with.

———

Soap, talking to Graves: Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?

Graves: …

Soap: No, a summer’s day is not a bitch.

———

*Sherlock walks outside with a coffee in her hand*

*She sees JTF Ghost Team fighting Shadow Company*

Sherlock: god it’s brutal out here *sips coffee*

Rudy: Aren’t you gonna help us?

Sherlock: uhmm no *walks back inside*

Soap, shaking his head: You had to ask.

Rudy: 😰 She is a psychopath!

———

Alejandro: Keep your eyes closed, I have a surprise!

Rudy: Did you do the dishes?

Alejandro: I said surprise, not miracle.

[irl-simon-riley]

I love poly!141 fics because it's some of the only times y'all include Gaz

[wrylu]

smek

[shkretart]

Just sketches

[totally-not-fandom]

I consistently forget that Nikolai is an objectively scary guy. This man is an illegal arms dealer, built like a brick house, and withstood torture from Russian Unltranationalists, not to mention he's filthy-fuckin-rich. He consults with war criminals on a regular basis and puts himself in increasingly dangerous situations throughout the series. He is so confident in his ability to outsmart and/or outrun the police that he leaves notes for them at crime scenes and he definitely have some guys on the inside of the Russian police department. He has absolutely no problem with kidnapping people and using them as leverage, not even really caring what happens to them. I'm convinced that Nikolai knows no fear.

[liamthemailman]

happy valentines bouquet from the 141

also

featuring the babygirl to ever grace the earth

[sixleggedboar]

More cod sketches.

[frogchiro]

being pregnant with both bear nikolai and price would be a dream.

It’s late winter/early spring and you’re all starting to wake up and get back into routine after hibernation. Your pregnant belly is starting to show too :(((. Imagine rolling over and waking up in the morning, just to see them nosing and gently rubbing your small bump, definitely excited and fantasizing about when you finally start swelling with milk.

The weather starts getting warmer and you wake up to a literal pound of berries (each) that they brought you.

You thought you were done sleeping and eating and doing nothing now that winter is over? Nope. You’re staying in the den until those cubs are born and they think you’re ready to go out.

You probably have so many cubs too 😩. All of them big and chubby chunky babies who love being held by their momma 🥺. They also absolutely love to drink their momma’s milk, never getting enough of it.

And you never seem to run out of milk! Always enough to go around for the cubs (and your mates when they get jealous). Sorry I just AAAAA about them sossosososo much

Bear! Price and Bear! Nik would be the most attentive and lovesick daddies ever!! They were over the moon when they sniffed out a change in your scent, more of a milky sweet tone to it, so when it was confirmed that you are indeed pregnant with cubs they were ecstatic!!

And yes, they make not only many but also they make the biggest, chubbiest cubs ever! I mean look at them, they are huge, broad shouldered and bulky, it's only natural that your babies will inherit those traits!! But they are so good to both you and the little ones, always scenting them and keeping them close, when one is away to hunt the other is always with you inside the den, cuddling with you and the cubs, licking their new fluffy coats as they babble and giggle at their dad :((

But tbh you're the favorite parent! You're their momma and the cubs always make little pips in search for you, wanting both your comforting warmth and scent and for you to feed them since they eat so much, but they need it if they want to be as strong and healthy like their fathers ;;

[slashhinginghasher]

141 + friends when you refuse to let them carry a heavy bag for you:

Distracts you with a kiss, then snatches the bag out of your hands - Gaz, Alejandro

Pulls a second bag out of nowhere and moves the heaviest items from your bag to theirs - Rudy, Farah

Convinces you to carry a lighter bag instead while they carry the heavy one - Alex, Laswell

Adds a whole bunch of random shit to the bag until you literally can't carry it, then takes it from you - Soap, Nik

Throws you and the bag over their shoulder - Price, Ghost

[cod-dump]

Price: I told the boys I got tea and they asked if it was ‘herbal or verbal’

Nik: *snorts*

Teen!Gaz, from the other room: A LOVING FATHER WOULD SHARE THE GOSSIP FROM HIS WORK WITH HIS CHILDREN

Price: You know most the ‘gossip’ is classified!

Teen!Ghost: SO? THATS THE BEST KIND

Nik: They’re right, you know

Price: Stop encouraging them

[mayflora-18]

Incorrect CoD Quotes #7

Sherlock, in response to being asked to sneak into Valeria’s house: Okay. Don’t worry, guys. I got your back!

*She steps behind Ghost*

Sherlock: From right here.

———

Laswell: Hey did you call General Shepherd a bitch?

Price: Yeaaahh! He changed the Wi-Fi password!

Laswell: You can’t be-

Nikolai: THAT BITCH CHANGED THE WI-FI PASSWORD!!!!

———

*Something bad and unexpected happens on a mission*

Nikolai: Why didn’t you tell me?!

Sherlock: Well, because I wanted us to fail.

Nikolai: 😑

Sherlock: OBVIOUSLY I DIDN’T KNOW!!!!

———

Graves: Hey, I always get the vibe that you, like, hate me or something.

Ghost: What?! Me, hate you?!

Ghost: …You’re right.

———

Soap: If I punch myself in the face and it hurts, am I strong or weak?

Ghost: Strong.

Gaz: Weak.

Price: A dumbass is what you are.

———

Alejandro: When I first met you, I thought you were weird and annoying.

Graves: …

Graves: And?

Alejandro: And you are.

———

Hadir: Sorry I’m late, I was… doing things.

*pounding footsteps can be heard from behind the door*

Alex, bursting through the door: HE PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS!

Hadir: Push is such a strong word. I prefer calling it … giving you a little nudge.

Alex: Oh I’ll give you a nudge when I shove mY FOOT UP YOUR ASS!

Price, covering Farah’s ears: Hey! Watch your fucking language in front of the president!

———

Graves: Yo, what’s that song that goes like, “Despacito”?

Alejandro: Despacito?

Graves: Yeah. What’s the name?

Alejandro: DESPACITO

Graves: …Yeah. What’s the name?

Alejandro, pissed: Dios mío, you’re an idiot!

Graves: Thank you! Alexa, play “Dios mío, you’re an idiot!”

Echo Dot Alexa: Ok *starts playing Despacito*

Alejandro: 😦

Graves 😎

———

Ghost: What happens to the car if you press the break and the accelerator at the same time? Does it take a screenshot?

Price:

Soap:

Gaz:

Roach, wanting to be a little shit: Ye-

Sherlock being done with life: No. That’s it, I’m driving.

———

Soap: Go to bed! It’s 3am. If you don’t you’re going to hate yourself in the morning!

Roach: Jokes on you, I’m gonna hate myself in the morning ✨REGARDLESS✨

———

Sherlock: I don’t want to be a person anymore.

Ghost: … What?

Sherlock: I’m tired of it.

Soap: 😥 Maybe we should talk about this-

Sherlock: I just wanna be a dinosaur.

Ghost:

Soap:

Roach: Me too!

———

*Sherlock walks into the rec room and drops her bag on the floor*

Sherlock: tEll mE wHy tHerE arE 7 BiLlioN peOplE On tHiS DAmN PlaNEt ANd NoT 1 pErsOn hAs A CrUsH On mE!? WhAt ThE HelL UNiveRsE?!!

Gaz, whose been pining for her since the day he met her: what about me 🥺

———

Roach, sleep deprived: All I want-

Soap: Oh no

Roach: -is for for someone to walk up to me-

Ghost: What’s going on now?

Roach: -look me in the eyes, put their hands on my face, and very passionately-

Gaz: Kiss you?

Roach: -twist as hard as they can and put me out of my fucking misery!

Price: Roach no

Roach: Roach yes

———

Laswell: John, aren’t you supposed to be on a Zoom call right now?

Price: I got kicked off already.

Laswell: Why! What did you do?!

Price: Well she said, “DoN’t GeT sMaRt WiTh Me!” and I said, “Then what are we paying you for?” and she did not like that!

Laswell: John that’s rude.

Price: …But I’m right on this.

———

Roach: Remember when you guys told me to go to the pharmacy?

Sherlock: *looks at Gaz before looking at Roach* Yess

Roach: Mmm they’re out of my ADHD medication for five days.

Sherlock: Oh my god-

Roach: It’s gonna be a fun week!

Gaz, already leaving the room: I’m going to my mother’s-

Sherlock, pissed that she would have to watch Roach by herself: What happened to “in sickness and in health”, motherfucker!?

———

Sherlock: I’m sorry guys… there’s nothing else we can do. Graves is dying, we’re gonna have to pull the plug.

Gen. Herschel Shepherd: Oh my god… Oh my god…

Soap: Can I do it?

Gen. Herschel Shepherd: What?

Soap: Can I pull the plug?

Gaz: Hey no! I wanna pull the plug!

Ghost: No fuck you! I get to do it!

Soap: This is bullshit! I wanna do it!

Price: NO! I-I’m the oldest, I should be the one to do it!

Ghost: I’ll thumb wrestle you for it.

Price: Fine, let’s go BITCHHH

Price & Ghost, hands together for thumb wrestling: 1, 2, 3, 4, I declare a thumb war!

Gen. Herschel Shepherd: Are you two serious?!

Price: YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE A CHANCE

Ghost: OH, YOU’RE GOING DOWN

Price: NOOO, NO, NO, NOO

Ghost: OHHHHHHHHHH

*Ghost wins*

Ghost: Yess

Price: NO

Ghost: yEsSSSSS

Price: DAMN IT

Ghost: Alright, where’s that plug?!

Soap: Where’s that plug?

Ghost: Where’s that mother fucking plug?!

Sherlock: Do you have ANY respecT?!

Ghost: No, I have 0 respect!

Soap: We have 0.

Price: We have 0 respect.

Gaz: I have nothing!

Gen. Herschel Shepherd: I can’t even believe this!

Sherlock: Yeah, me too. Alright let’s get this show on the road! I got some leftover lasagna at home, and it’s got my name on it!

———

Ghost: Good morning, everyone. God has let me live another day. And I’m about to make it EVERYONE’S problem.

Soap: Good morning to you too.

Price: 🤦‍♂️ I give up.

———

Alex: What do we do when we’re feeling sad?

Farah: Watch a murder documentary and plan out how to do it without getting caught?

Hadir’s soul in Hell: *scared shitless despite already being dead*

Alex: Jesus fuck, NO!

———

Soap: You guys won’t believe what just happened!

Ghost: What happened?

Soap: Some guy from Shadow Company wouldn’t leave Sherlock alone-

Nikolai, maternal uncle instincts kicking in: Excuse me!

Soap: -but she took care of it!

Price, to Sherlock: How’d you take care of it?

Sherlock: Simple. *clears throat* 🎶Row row row your boat, The fuck away from me, Felony felony just tried to test me, And I’m a cause a scene🎶

Nikolai, laughing: That’s my girl!

[sleepyconfusedpotato]

⚔️ MWII (2022) Character Ages (as of 2022) ⚔️

I was on a character age brainrot back in January and now It's back because of @angelsarewatching so I'm gonna go ahead and post this on Tumblr. Tell me what you think tho and discussions are open!

🐑 Gen. Shepherd - Around late 50s, Pushing 64. I searched it up and apparently, the mandatory retirement age for all general officers is 62, in some cases 64. But if he got into the recommendation list after Brigadier General (O-7), it's allowed to be more than 62. He's a Lt. Gen, so that's O-9. Also, Glenn Morshower (Shepherd's actor) is 64 so let's go with that.

🧠 Laswell - 47-ish. At MOST 55. (Rya Khilstedt is 52. AMAZING BEAUTIFUL SHOW -STOPPING)

🚁 Nikolai - 45 as well. I would go with 48 though.

🪦 Graves - 40. He gives Texan cowboy energy. I just know he's an old dude and is actually older than the rest of the gang.

🛖 Alejandro and 🦂 Valeria - 37. Maybe 38. I don't know at what age someone could make the rank Colonel 'cause that's quite high up the ladder. (They might as well be older than Price. Shit, they might be 40.)

🚬 Price - 37 (Canon) c. 1985.

🐎Rudy - 36. He's been close with Alejandro for 20 years now. Assuming they're bestest of friends and knew each other even before military, Rudy would be around 36/37 as well.

💀 Ghost - 35 or lower. As far as I know, lieutenants are usually young, unless he enlists first before a few years later he went to the Royal Military Academy Sandhurst (RMAS). OR. His preference and efficiency of working alone are far better for use on the battlefield. The higher you are in the ranks, the more soldiers you are responsible for. So the higher-ups might purposefully don't promote him (and he prefers and agrees to it as well) so that he can continue working alone rather than leading a squad. He surely can lead a team, but he's better at doing shit alone. Crazy theory but hey, it's fiction.

🦿Alex - 35 (Alex was a Delta Force until 2013. Assuming he's around 26 when he finally goes to the CIA, that means he's around 32yo in 2019 and 35yo in 2022)'

🔭 Hadir - 33/34 (Canon) 1989/1990. I’m choosing 34 tho since in the ‘Hometown’ mission he was almost a teenager.

☀️ Farah - 30 (Canon) January 12th 1990.

🧢 Gaz - 26 (Canon). The bio says he enlisted in the British Army in 2014. Assuming Gaz finished high school first, he must’ve enlisted when he was 18yo. That means he was 23yo in MW19 and 26yo in MW22. 

🧼 Soap - 26 (Canon). He’s canonically the youngest one in Task Force 141. The bio mentioned that his cousin is in SAS and he often time visits the base. Setting aside the fact that the cousin brought a fucking kid to a top-secret base, lil’ Johnny must’ve been like “I DON’T WANNA GO TO SCHOOL I WANT TO BE AN SAS SOLDIER” and he canonically LIED about his age. Apparently, he went in when he was 16 but got caught several times, until finally when he was 18 he got in. 

--

That's it folks! Tell me what you think (｡･∀･)ﾉﾞ

[diejager]

Dadbod!Nik and Price from this idea cw: smut, rough sex, soft sex, overstimulation, somnophilia, dacryphilia, tell me if I missed any.

Dadbod!Nik and Price on their own was a lot, especially when he got hungry. Nikolai would pull you aside from whatever you were doing and bend you over the table, tugging your shorts down and stuffing you full with his dripping cock. Stuffing you with erratic thrusts, panting loudly in your ear, and when he’s tired, he has you fucking back against him, hips swaying back and forth to push and roll your hips.

Price was more vocal, calling you over with his gruff voice and coaxing you to straddle his lip. As the Captain of TF141, he’s tired and stressed most of the time, so he has you ride him, hands holding your hips while your knees buckled with each bounce. His stomach and pecks bobbing when he rutted back, forcing you down onto his angry cock.

But together, it’s hell on earth, they get rough and mean, pushing and pulling you forward and backward. Together, they have you take them at the same time, cooing ad singing praises at you before sneering and spitting insults, degrading you to a whore. They have you sprawled on the couch, throat gagging around Price, swallowing him down while your tongue pressed against the pulsing vein under his cock; and cunt taking Nikolai’s harsh thrusts, his bulbous tip bullying your spongy cervix with mean intent.

You’re drooling all over Price, around the base of his cock, wetting the lazily trimmed bush and happy tail and down his heavy balls, still full of potent cum. Your cunt was sloppy, painting a white ring at the base of Nik’s cock, gaining in colour every time he bottomed out. The force behind Nik’s thrust drove Price deeper down your throat, your chokes ringing out in the room with their low grunts and soft groan.

They switch places every now and then, making sure that they can fill your stomach and womb with their mixed load. They don’t stop until you’re limp and exhausted, arms unable to grab at anything and legs unable to hold you up, having to depend on them to eat, drink and shower for the rest of the day.

If you asked them to be soft and nice, they can be and they will be! They’ll be nice and patient with their hands and mouths with Price lapping at your cunt, thumb rubbing circles over your twitching clit, and with Nik fondling your nipples and lips peppering your face and neck with loving kisses. They can be caring and loving if you ask, but they make you needy and whiny, their soft touches ending up being teasing and edging you until you burst in tears, begging them to be rough.

Even when you want them to be soft, they’re always mean, down right cruel. You’re so overstimulated - being edged for by them for hours - by the time they shrug their briefs off that you come undone the moment Price pressed his leaky cock against your slick hole. You’re trapped between their round stomachs, hair scratching your soft skin as they alternate cocks, Nik pushing in when Price pulled out, and vice versa.

They keep slamming into you until you’re in tears and unconscious, painting your walls white with opaque cum from the heavy balls of a middle-aged man. Even when you’re gone, they’re still pounding away, hands leaving bruises on your skin and your body sore. They’ve soaked the couch in their sweat, cum and your tears by the end of the night.

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