#cody calls her boss because well… she’s Da Boss.

[b1uedcollar]

𝚘𝚗𝚕𝚢    𝚕𝚜𝚞    𝚏𝚊𝚗    𝚒    𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚝

[dasolution-ns]

A Wrecking Mess

Part of the Hell Down Under series by Da Solution

A Miley Cyrus slam fic

Here I am somewhere in the outbacks, probably a few kilometres away from Newcastle, New South Wales, where I heard that Miley Cyrus was here. She seem to have a thing for Aussies. I don’t know why, they’re a bunch of tossing assholes, besides the Aborigines. Being the daughter of a redneck country singer, and the total whoring bi-slut that she is, she needs to be straightened out and that’s why I’m here.

I brought my wife, Maxine Brewer, former member of D.E.B.S,  with me since she wanted to get involved more and she also hates Miley with a passion. She also wanted to get to visit Australia again, saying that if Lucy Diamond, her arch-nemesis during her days of D.E.B.S, hates Australia, then it’s good for her. I hate Pussy Sapphire, I mean Lucy Diamond myself, enough to kill her and her partner  off.

It wasn’t too hard, but I spotted her at a retreat in the outbacks. Expectedly, it was guarded. Unexpectedly, it wasn’t heavily guarded. I was surprised that someone as famous as she was would have such a skeleton crew for security, but no complaints, that just made my job easier :-D. Thus, I would not require Team Solution for this, me and Maxine should be good enough.  

The place was a small, but inside was luxurious. I think it was an attempt for her to get “in touch with nature” and “in touch with herself.”  All that is really bullshit, because those people like Miley are so out of touch, they can never be like the common man, and she’s a bi-slut, so she’ll always be confused. However, I bet that bi-slut bitch sure loves to touch herself…  

As we were casing the area and planning our strategy to take out the guards, I saw Miley with her new sucker, I mean lover, Cody Simpson. They just came outside to sit and chill on their porch. Don’t worry, they’ll have an eternal chill when we get done with them.

“Look at that idiot. Grinning like he struck gold.” Maxine whispered. I chuckled, couldn’t laugh out loudly.

“Yeah, more like fool’s good.” I said. “The only thing that fool struck is some STD!” Now it was Maxine’s turn to laugh.  After we laugh, I told Maxine, “we got to find a way to get in there. There isn’t a lot of guards here, so we should be able to take them out one by one. Just get your knife ready, so we don’t make any noise.”

However, Maxine disagreed. “Nah, I ain’t takin’ that chance. I say bring the other three who are nearby. Just in case if one of the guards do call backup.”

“Good point.” So I text to my main man, Steelz. He told me that backup was coming.

When backup arrived, we went ahead with the plan. I was able to take out three of the guards, while Maxine was able to take out two.

We were able to enter the retreat without any problems, because the retreat’s security ain’t worth shit, and it worth even less shit since all the guards are dead. However, as soon as we got in, we couldn’t find them.

“Where the fuck did they go?” Maxine said.

“I dunno.” I replied. However, it didn’t take long as Rico and Rachel came back with Cody and Miley with them.

“Hey boss, we saw these two running about 200 metres from here, we caught them.” Rico said.

I smiled at Rico. “That for getting them. I knew you were the right guy for the job.” Rico just smiled and said his thanks. They left, and that left us with those two losers. I was pissed at them.

“Thinking you can run away from me like that, huh? Well, imma fuck your bi-slut ass up like what I did to Katie Hill and Afrika Bambaataa, Miley. And that goes for you as well, Cody.”

Cody stepped up to me and said, “I bet you aren’t as tough as you think you are. I’ll take you on. Just me and you. No one else. Neither Miley nor your woman can pitch in. Besides, you only got a few minutes, I already called the police.”

That made me furious. Maxine already knew what to do in that situation, and she text Team Solution for backup.

Cody Simpson wanted to take me on one-on-one, which I find weird considering he was trying to run away from me. Nevertheless, I had no problems with that. That’s how I prefer it. He’s brave, but stupid.

“Sure.” I simply answered.

Before he could even move his shoulder, I punched him right in the face. Then I gave him a few ribs shots followed by a stunning left jab across the face. He was down, but not out. At the same time, Maxine was beating the shit outta that bi-slut bitch Miley.

When I got to Miley, she was already bloodied and beating. My woman did a number on that flaky, attention-seeking whoring bitch!

“Good job, honey. Now let me take over. Go and watch for the cops, I think Team Solution might need your help.”

She smiled. “Sure.”

Now it’s my turn to have fun with Miley.  I noticed a glassed cabinet with her trophies and statues she have won. There were those of lesser prestigious awards, as the main ones are back in her home. The cabinet was locked, but I knew a way to get it to open… I smashed her face against the glass, and it shattered all over the place. I then proceed to grab every trophy, statue, plaque, whatever I can get my hands on in the cabinet and hit her with it.

I was about to do more to that sick-ass swing-set, Maxine came back. “There’s like 24 cop cars out there, and they’re planning to bring the ADF against you, since you’re consider a domestic terrorist. Oh shit, the Australian Defence Force is now involved, now we really need to get the fuck outta here! It’s one thing to bring in the cops, it’s another to bring in the armed forces!

With that in mind, I took out my gun and shot Cody a few times with my Glock 17. We made sure that Miley saw it by keeping her eyes wide open. Needless to say, she was devastated, and we were elated. We took Miley with us and narrowly escaped. That was a close call.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A few hours later, we were at an abandoned building in Sydney, New South Wales. I had Miley’s hands tied behind her, with her mouth covered up. She can be a mouthy bitch as that swing-set kept on bitching throughout the rid, so I had to shut her up. She also fought along the way, so Maxine gave her a punch to the stomach, and that worked, for she was much more cooperative after that.

We we got into a room. I had some of my “toys” out for me to use. It included The Rock, The Solution, and the Pinochet Machine, and a parrilla used for torturing. And those weren’t the only thing in the room.

“Kaitlynn Carter! What the fuck!?”

Yep, we kidnapped her ex Pussy-pal and fellow bi-slut bitch herself, Kaitlynn Carter. She too was tied up.

“You bloody biphobic bastards! You won’t get away with your gay, lesbian, and bi-bashing for long!” Kaitlynn screamed at me.

“Oh spare me with the drama, bi-slut bitch! You betta shut da fuck up before I do it myself.”

“No! I won’t ‘shut da fuck up!’ I will make my voice loud enough so that someone will hear me and save up. I will… SMASH!”

I hit her with The Rock, a slightly-larger hand-sized rock used to rock those who likes to rock the three colors (bisexual flag), like Ms. Bi-Slut Miley and Konfused Kaitlyn. Those rudy poo jabronis will get the smackdown of their lives.

I was smashing her with The Rock while telling her to shut da fuck up in a rhymatic pattern.

“SHUT-DA-FUCK-UP! SHUT-DA-FUCK-UP!”

Her face looked like a messed-up pizza ate by a drunk. Now it’s Miley’s turn to know her role with The Rock. With her, I did the same thing that I did with carpet-muncher Kaitlyn, however I changed the words.

“DIE-YOU-BI-SLUT! DIE-YOU-BI-SLUT!”

Her face too was a total mess, but then again, it always did.

“Now I can focus on giving you the Rock Bottom.”

So I took The Rock and slammed her to the ground with The Rock in her face. Now they know that my bi-bashing is quite different… and painful!

Now in order for the parrilla to work effectively, you got to “soften up” the victim, and there’s no other weapon that can soften victims any better than The Solution. The Solution is a modified cricket bat with a titanium core, perfect to straightening out those people. It has crossed-out flags of the gays and lesbians on one side, and crossed-out flags of bisexuals and transgenders on the other. It’s the only bi-slut I can tolerate, since it also “swings both ways.” So I introduced it first to Kaitlyn.

“This is for being an New Englander cunt! CRACK!” “And this is for eating Miley’s STD-infested pussy! CRACK! “And this is for being a bad actress. I saw your shit on that sorry-ass show, The Hills, and you suck horse’s dick among other things! CRACK!” “And this is for being a nasty, ugly, confused, bi-slut ho! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK!”

Then I focused my attention to Miley.

“This is for being Billy Ray Cyrus’s daughter… CRACK!” “And this is for having your ugly face all over Disney… CRACK!” “And this is for showing your slutty, flat-as-an-ironboard body all over TV… CRACK! “And this is for your sorry-ass music! That’s right, your singing voice is as flat as your ass! CRACK!” “And of course, this is for being a nasty, poly-promiscuous, bi-slut bitch! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK!”

After that, I smiled for they were now “soft” enough for the parrilla. I turned my attention to Maxine and asked her if the parrilla is ready, she nodded.

“I got the wires set up, and we do have enough juice to light up the block.”

“Good, I let you take care of Miley, while I take care of Kaitlynn.”

Maxine got excited. “Goodie! I get to torture Miley!” I couldn’t help but smile when I saw my wife’s excitement. I wanted to torture Miley, but I got to let my wife have some fun as well.

So we strapped the two beef-and-pork-eating bitches to the metal frame, strapped them tight and then attached the picana to their sensitive areas. In the case of both Miley and Kaitlynn, that would be their Hope-Solo-sized pussy lips, cause neither have boobs. The metal frame intensifies the shock, while burning their backs as well.

As soon as we powered up the picana, we tortured the shit out of those two pendulums. They were screaming for their deal lives.

“AAAHHHHHHH!” They said collectively. Now that’s music to my ears!

After two hours of so of torturing them, I decided I had enough, so there was one more thing left to do: cure them. As I was about to pull out my Glock 17, someone’s phone had Miley’s “Wrecking Ball” as their ring tune. Found out it was Miley’s. That gave me an idea.

Okay, there are two endings to this. I will show each of the ending and you decide which one is the best.

Ending #1

We went to another area of Sydney where they were destroying old buildings. There was a crane with a wrecking ball attached. I smiled when I saw it. I decided to attache Kaitlynn first, by welding metal pieces to her arms and legs onto the wrecking ball.  Then when I had enough speed and acceleration from the wrecking ball, I moved it so that it can hit the building, crushing Kaitlynn in the process.  

“NOOOOOOOOOOO!” Miley screamed as she watched her finger-friend crushed to death. It’s a bad day for her, as she watched two of her lovers die. It’s gonna get even worse for her because she’s next.

We attached her to the wrecking ball the same way we did for Kaitlynn. It didn’t help that blood and guts of Kaitlynn were still on the ball when we welded her onto it.

Afterwards, as I did with Kaitlynn, I got the wrecking ball swing fast enough so that when it did hit the building, she would die from it. As soon as I can, I aimed it to the building and Miley got flattened like an accordion. Funny enough, music from an accordion is more pleasing than her own.

Ending #2

The same building and the same crane as Example #1, however, this time Miley and Kaitlynn are attached to the building. They are about 5 metres apart. The building had already been partially wrecked, but there was about a 20 metre long wall of it remaining. That’s where we tied them up. I was gonna go and use the wrecking ball on them, but instead Maxine insisted that she does it. I smiled and let her take control.

She started from the edge of the wall, knocking it down, first from the left side, then from the right side. The wrecking ball was slowly creeping up to the degenerates as it kept on knocking out brick from the edged of the remaining wall. They were getting terrified as the wrecking ball was slowly coming to them. Maxine was torturing them and I liked it!

Eventually, the wall withered down to just 12 metres, and the bi-slut duo knew the end was coming for them. Maxine had the wrecking ball first aimed at Kaitlynn and she was smashed by it. Miley screamed in horror as she saw her smashed to pieces. However, we shouted in pleasure, as we finally got rid of Kaitlynn. Now it was Miley’s turn as Maxine aimed the wrecking ball right as Miley. She was done that instant.

Conclusion

Miley is dead, along with her ex and her stupid-ass boyfriend. All in all, me and Maxine are satisfied, and we took a short trip to a sparse area where they have the beach. Everything was fine, until we saw two Australian gay dudes holding hands. Without a hitch, I got out of my lounge chair and headed towards those two faggots. Looks like another situation to straighten out…

THE WRECKING END!