#coerced sex mention cw

[dlscenarios]

How I Long For Our Trysts

Anthony Bridgerton x f!Reader SMUT

I finished reading The Viscount Who Loved Me & i'm already missing this fictional man like he's my husband that went off to war.

Also ofc the title is a Taylor Swift reference. What else is new?

Cw: AFAB Reader + a few brief mentions of Reader being a lady, Bridgerton-typical society talk, Reader & Anthony are pretty handsy, No foreplay, Unprotected sex + Creampie

You were going to be the death of him.

Anthony Bridgerton always knew he was going to die young, but he'd always thought it would be a similar death to his father's — sudden and perhaps by the stinger of a measly bee — yet the agonizing wait for you to appear in the doorway of his study might do him in first.

His mother had invited what felt like hundreds of singles in the ton for another one of her house parties at Aubrey Hall. The woman was relentless in her task of marrying off her children, although she seemed to focus more on Anthony than his brothers. To the viscount's dismay (he was ashamed to admit his simultaneous delight), you were one of the invited guests. Anthony's mother had no idea that you and her eldest son had already become well acquainted with each other, having met earlier in the season.

You had a distaste for society and its strict rules, something that both intrigued and infuriated Anthony. You conducted yourself in a way that haunted his very being. Had you been a smidge less cynical, you would fit Anthony's idea of a perfect viscountess exactly.

Since your first meeting, the viscount would see you everywhere. At the shops, the park, every ball, there was even a time Anthony could have sworn you were in his bed beside him only to find out it was just an all-too-real dream. In hopes of getting you out of his head, he began pursuing you. Not in hopes of marriage, Anthony had carefully planned out every minute you shared together to avoid such a thing, but in hopes of turning his dream into a reality. And it worked. It worked far better than Anthony thought it would. Every moment he spent getting lost in your body felt better than it had with any of the women he had slept with before. He craved you more than he had ever craved anything in his entire life. While your moments together were fleeting, he made every minute count and seared the memory into his brain. 

Now that you were under the same roof as him, he could barely hold himself back. His siblings had coerced you to join their game of Pall Mall earlier in the evening and each time your ball and his sat near each other, it took every ounce of Anthony's strength not to pull you to the side and kiss you senseless. After the game, he stepped closer to your side, inconspicuously whispering into your ear to meet him in his study at midnight. If everyone else in the house was asleep, he could have you all to himself for hours. As long as the two of you ended up in your respective bedchambers by dawn, no one would be any wiser.

While waiting for the clock to strike twelve, Anthony tried to keep himself busy by going over a few papers, but eventually the dry scratching of his quill and the flickering light of the candle beside him began to make his head spin. Tossing the pen to the side and rubbing his face with his hands, the door finally creaked open. Leaning back in his chair, a smirk grew on Anthony's face at the sight of you shutting the door behind you.

"Took you long enough." he quipped, gazing at you with tired eyes. You returned his smile and approached the desk.

"It is better to be safe rather than sorry, my lord. I did not want to risk someone catching me outside of my chambers like this~" Your hand began to fiddle with the hastily-tied knot on your robe. With a light tug, the robe was untied and fluttered open to reveal that you donned only a chemise under it.

Anthony sucked in a breath, dark eyes trailing over your figure. Yes, he had seen you in less before, but you looked too damned stunning in everything you wore, no matter how many layers it consisted of. Even at the social events both of your families "coincidentally" attended, he could not tear his eyes away from you.

You stepped closer to his side, his hand wasting no time in settling on your hip. He was looking at you like how a puppy eyed its beloved owner. You kept that analogy to yourself, knowing full well that he would rid it the moment he became aware of it, but it was perhaps the most beautiful look he had ever worn. Your opposing hand came up to graze his cheek before your fingertips peaked into his hair. Anthony's eyes fluttered shut, leaning into your hand and turning to press a soft kiss to your palm.

"Always so eager." you said, smiling down at your lover. You caught the faintest, briefest smile on his lips before he kissed your palm once more with a deep hum.

"You cannot blame me." Anthony's voice was low and filled with passion as he replied, "Not when I have the prettiest lover in all of Great Britain," he paused to squeeze your hip, his fingers digging into the fabric of your chemise, "Right at my fingertips."

"Aw..." you teased, leaning down to meet his lips. Anthony lets out a low moan into the kiss as his hand slides from your hip to around your waist, guiding you down to straddle him in his chair. Your warmth was the comforting sort, the image of you in his lap serving as a reminder that Anthony had you. You were his, sitting so prettily above him, and deep down, while it hurt his pride to admit such, Anthony knew he was yours.

In the glow of the fireplace, the two of you held each other close, hands exploring previously conquered patches of skin. You had tugged his vest open as one of his hands slid under your chemise to grab your ass. His lips had left yours to trail hot kisses along your neck. Your breathy pants fanned against his ear while he suckled your clavicle, wishing so desperately that he could leave a mark. Anthony knew he couldn't. You were out in society, someone the viscount had sworn to never rope into his rakish encounters. The last thing he wanted to do was ruin your reputation and find himself at the receiving end of your relative's pistol.

Anthony let out a low growl, pushing away the niggling reminder that he had compromised you. What a hypocrite he was. Had one of his sisters been in your position, he would have ripped their lover to shreds, but something about you felt different. A warm and welcoming feeling that Anthony had never experienced before. A feeling that was suffocating him as he lifted his head to peck your jaw before guiding you into another kiss.

You yanked at his shirt, ripping the top buttons out of their holes. Anthony groaned as your hand trailed down his clothed chest, grazing over his stomach and inching closer to his waistband. His lips leave yours, pressing a feather-light kiss to your cheek before his own hand slips down to meet yours, expertly unbuttoning his trousers.

Anthony Bridgerton was never a patient man, something you had known since your first night together. He was never selfish — in fact, he was quite a generous lover, always checking to make sure he wasn't moving too fast — he merely found it difficult to hold back at times. You were a drug. Perhaps the only thing that could make him completely drunk, aside from the occasional brandy. As he freed himself from the confines of his pants, he gazed up, his dark eyes shining with a lustful glint as they met yours.

You shifted above him and pulled up the skirt of your chemise enough for him to line up with your entrance. His free hand rested on your hip before slowly guiding you down to take him in. With a groan, he squeezed your ass as you situate yourself in his lap. His hands slid up to your hips, urging them to roll toward his.

Anthony held you close, enough for him to lean forward and mouth at your clothed chest. You always felt like heaven, so hot and tight. You made him feel alive. Anthony groaned against your chest as his fingers dug into your skin, mirroring the new grip you had on his shoulders. Your soft moans against his ear spurred him to help quicken your grinding, guiding you along the length of his cock.

Before you had met the viscount, you had known of his rakish ways from Whistledown's column. The woman had never been wrong so you had no reason to disbelieve her reports on Anthony's past conquests. Opera singers, actresses, several women in London's brothels, he had allegedly bed them all. He was the biggest rake in all of Britain, yet as he held you tight and fucked into you as if he loved you, you couldn't bring yourself to regret meeting him. It could have been your inexperience in these sorts of encounters, but you could have sworn the Anthony Bridgerton you saw during these nights was a better man than the one Whistledown knew. He was always so attentive and skilled and beautiful and...

You contracted around him, ripping a gruff moan from your lover's lips, his gaze focused on your connection as he controlled the movement of your hips. His short nails bit through the thin cotton of your chemise, his own hips thrusting up to meet yours.

"Fuck..." Anthony groaned almost too quiet for you to hear. He always found it hard to last longer than you, yet another difference between you and his past lovers. He was already close and, judging by the way your moans took on a higher pitch, you were not far behind. One of his hands left your hip to slip under the bunched front of your dress, thumbing your clit in the exact way he knew you liked.

You squeaked out a moan, your grip on the back of his shirt hardening. "Anthony...Oh god, Anthony..." you repeated his name like a prayer.

Suddenly, your orgasm hit, stilling your hips and moaning into his shoulder. Like he always did, Anthony coaxed you through your release, continuing his ministrations and pressing soft kisses to the side of your head. Once your moans subsided, the hand on your clit left to rest on your back. You kept your face buried in his shoulder as he panted into your ear, his own sounds growing closer together as he chased his release.

You lifted your head enough for Anthony to steal your lips again. With another groan, he thrusted up into you one last time before his come began to fill you. He held you tightly against him as he deepened the kiss.

You moaned and weaved your hand into his hair. You didn't want the kiss to end. The moment it did meant your time with Anthony was coming to an end. You would have to return to your bedchamber alone, knowing the man you had accidentally started falling for was under the same roof.

Meanwhile, Anthony had no plans of letting you go once leaving your lips to catch his breath. He glanced to the nearby clock. It was only one in the morning, plenty of time to keep you locked in the study with him. He should be free to have you until six, when the maids would begin wrapping their wake-up calls on the residents’ doors. After only a few gulps of air, Anthony's lips were back on yours, keen on having you in every position he's dreamed you in.

Anthony Bridgerton never planned on catching feelings. Hell, his entire plan for the season was to find a wife he wouldn't fall for, yet as he admired you in the euphoric state he had put you in, he was starting to think his plan had failed.

[merbear25]

Easing his worries (Sanji x reader)

With such talk of the disowned child of the Vinsmoke family being spread, saying you’re anything less than intrigued would be a lie. He's finding it hard to come to terms with being forced into marriage. His heart is breaking at the thought of being betrothed to someone he does not know. You, however, help ease his heartache, even if it is for a moment.

A/n: I know Sanji would stay true to whomever he was with (arranged marriage or not), so this is just for fun. Also @escenariosinfumables I know I mentioned this idea to you weeks ago, but I remember you wanted to be tagged!

CW: NSFW! MDNI! gn!reader, spoilers for Whole Cake, angst, ooc, oral sex (male receiving)

With so much of your life having been devoted to serving the Vinsmokes, you’d unfortunately grown accustomed to their ruthlessness. No matter how devoted you were or how careful, there were times that you caught strays of their misplaced anger. There were times you sought out ways to distract yourself from reality, although such moments were scarcely found.

When talk of the black sheep of the family being dragged here spread among the help, your curiosity got the better of you. The other servants spoke in hushed voices behind closed doors about how he escaped his wretched family. Such theories of who he had become only flamed your own interest in him, leading you to be rather careless once Sanji came through those towering doors.

The wanted poster didn’t do him the slightest bit of justice; this man was far more attractive. Observing him from the sidelines, the resentment in the room was suffocating. With tensions running high, you were unable to look away. Rubbernecking at the eventual collision in personalities made you sloppy, spilling tea on the satin table cloth.

Being a temporary distraction from their berating, your lax behavior made you easy pickings. A cup was slingshot across the room, giving you no time to react and leaving you open to the full force of fine china shattering against your delicate face. Your breath was caught in your throat, as the cup stopped inches from your nose.

Despite your gratitude towards Sanji, the shock of events left you speechless. He pulled their attention back onto himself but not without suffering the consequences. Slinking back from the brutality that had been targeted towards you mere moments ago, an immense weight of guilt placed itself on your shoulders.

Knowing you were helpless to do anything, you could only watch this kind-hearted man take the full force of his family's malice. When they had their fill, they left him battered on the floor. As soon as they left, you went to him. Helping him stand up, he clenched at his torso which had been the main focal point of assault. Offering your aid to soothe his wounds, you led him to a room a few halls down in an attempt to find a shred of solitude.

With your tender care, he felt a rush of emotions flooding his torn soul and couldn’t help but let some of his heartache trickle out. The kindness and sympathy you held in your gaze felt like a warm embrace; he was in need of such compassion more than anything right now.

Voicing his fears that his future was being stripped away, you lent an understanding ear, allowing him to say as much as he needed in hopes of alleviating some of his stress.

“I hope I’m not speaking out of turn, but you deserve better—a better family and a better future.” Each word held affection, and as his hand gently found its way on top of yours, he graced you with a thankful smile.

Moments such as these were a rarity—a gem that hid amongst this lackluster world. You couldn’t deny the attraction you had towards him nor the pull of his gentlemanly charm. Lowering your gaze, you could feel a heat on your cheeks intensifying.

“We both deserve better,” his words were soft as he carefully tilted your head back towards him. His thumb rubbed your cheek, coercing you to lean into his display of affection.

Hesitating at first, as if to allow you ample time to deny him, he stole a kiss from you. The softness of his lips meeting yours brought on new waves of desire that you’d been deprived of. With you having been kneeling down to tend to his injuries, your hands were allowed access to his toned thighs.

As if on instinct, your hands caressed him, trailing up his thighs and lightly pressing your fingers into them while your tongues entwined. The heat you shared was burning with intensity, having you wanting more.

Running your fingers over his arousal, a sharp inhale sounded from him. When you unzipped his pants, seeing him at his full length further fanned the lust building within you. Peering up at him with your loving eyes, the reddened cheeks and biting of his lower lip only whetted your appetite.

“Such a kind soul should be treated with the utmost affection,” your words passed your lips, feeling hot on his exposed attraction and leaving him spellbound.

Swirling your tongue around his tip, you then tilted your head to coat the underside with your slick tongue, being sure to pucker your lips around his pulsating flesh.

He clung to the sides of the chair in a feeble attempt at restraining himself, but the sensation of your warm mouth wrapped around him was making it impossible. While you filled your mouth with as much of him as you could, his hand found its way to the back of your head, feverishly gripping your hair. 

With the euphoric finish just within reach, he gently pushed your head down and thrusted into temptation. The slight force caused you to gag and grip his thighs more tightly, yet this only heightened his desperation for release.

His moans sounded throughout the room while he reached the peak of desire, pumping his pent up emotions into your intoxicating mouth. Coming down from his high, he wiped a strand of hair from your forehead. Seeing how breathtaking you were in the afterglow of this sinful deed made you all too endearing, enticing him to lean down and kiss your alluring lips. 

With a few moments to regain your composure, you couldn’t help but wonder if he’d be successful at leading the life he was meant for. If he was, you hoped you’d have the chance to see him again. Leaving the room together, you knew it’d be for the best not to mention this to anyone. It’d be kept between the two of you and remain a secret within those four walls.

[rafeysbby]

plsssss do like a noncon older rafe cameron x young reader. Basically rafe is the reader’s best friends’s dad and she has like a slight crush on him but rafe ends up coercing her or something. I was hoping for something dark but you can go a chill route whichever one you feel more comfortable writing ❤️❤️❤️❤️😊

a/n: thank you baby for this! i would say i had fun writing this but its 1am again and i think i was floating in and out of consciousness while writing this. rip my sleep schedule. (who am i kidding she was already dead)

word count :: 908

cw: 18+ only - mdni, smut, p in v sex, NONCON/DUBCON, age gap (19 years, both characters are of age), use of pet names, slapping, idk what else-

read at ur own risk!!

Knock knock.

Your head swivels around to face the door, the source of the knocks clear when you hear the low, gravelly voice. “Ariana, sweetheart? Can I come in?”

The door creaks open without permission, revealing none other than her father. Rafe Cameron…

Rafe is commonly known as the town's biggest dilf. And sure, he was attractive… he had these piercing blue eyes and a buzzcut that made you foam at the mouth, not to mention his big, bulky arms. And you just knew his dick was big. But no. no, no no- no, no. 

Snap out of it! He's your best friend's father.

God you knew how wrong it was, but you'd spent three years crushing those dirty thoughts inside of your little brain, how hard could it be going forward? Fucking hard. Just like you pictured him being when he fucks y- stop it girl, pull yourself together.

Okay, so it was harder than you thought.

Rafe steps inside the room, peering around and spotting your form curled on the bed. “Oh hey doll, didn’t realize you came in, how’ve y’been?”. You know immediately that he was talking to you and you snap back into reality, “oh i've been good. How about you Mr Cameron?”

“Im doing well doll.” he states, turning to the door to Ariana’s bathroom as it swings open, ari emerging, eyes locking with her dad’s. “Oh hey dad”.

You notice a weird sort of atmosphere as they look at each other for a second. Rafe turning to look at you only serving to worsen the tension in the room. You stare back at him, glancing down for a second but your brain registering it as an eternity. You notice his pants tighten slightly as he looks at you and it causes your thighs to clench subconsciously. You swallow as you notice his eyes still on you. And of course it doesn't go unnoticed by Ari. “what the f-” she mumbles, shaking her head while turning to her dresser to rummage through her make-up drawer, “will you quit eye-fucking her already? God… dad she's half your age!”.

Clearly that doesn't seem to matter to him, his smirk only widening at her comment, “it's only nineteen years, sweetheart” 

“Exactly my point, dad! She's literally only twenty-one!” Ariana retorts, finally turning around to face him, “just- get out, please? I don't want to have this conversation. Not now- not ever.”

And sure as hell, rafe leaves the room, leaving you and Ari in the room. 

“Hes such a fuckin’ perv, im so sorry-”

—

Later that night, you fall asleep on the floor of Ariana's room, pretty comfy in the pile of pillows that are sprawled across the floor beneath you. Both you and Ari are in deep sleep when rafe sneaks into the room, quietly tiptoeing over to where you lay asleep.

“Mm hello pretty girl” he whispers, gently, scooping you up with his big, strong arms, “you're coming with me, doll” you stir slightly as he takes you out of the room, and into his.

“M-mr Cameron?” you mumble as your eyes blink open slightly. “Shh dont panic doll, you're coming with me to have some fun, kay?”

You know, almost immediately, that you have no choice in the matter. You didnt exactly mind, hes hot, as fuck. But he's your best friend's dad- whatever, it's gonna happen and you're gonna enjoy it, you knew that much.

As soon as he shuts the door behind you two, he's immediately throwing you head first onto the bed. He wastes no time in sliding your shorts off your legs, groping and slapping the flesh of your ass. God he was addicted already and he hasn't even seen your pretty little pussy yet. He continues his attack on your now red, stinging ass as you reach back to pull his hands away.

“Such a good girl, already putting your hands where i want them…” he grabs a hold of your wrists, pinning them to your lower back. 

Seconds later, he's pulling down his pants along with his boxers, revealing his already hardened cock. You let out a small yelp as you feel him rub his tip over your clothed clit. “So wet for me already babydoll” 

You physically cannot form words, let alone sentences as you lay there motionless. You wiggle your hips a little, trying to get at least a little friction.

He pulls back slightly but instead of stopping entirely to punish you, you hear him spit, lubricating himself. A few moments later, he aligns his tip with your pussy as he slides your panties to the side. With one swift motion, he’s balls deep in your tight little cunt, stopping to let you adjust to his size.

You were right, his dick was big. 

As you start to move your hips in desperation for movement, Rafe takes his cue and starts to slam in and out of your tight hole, needy, almost pornographic moans leaving your lips with each sweet sound of skin on skin. His brutal attacks on your cervix had you creaming all over his cock in a matter of minutes.

“Thats my good girl-” he sends a tingle through your body as he smacks your ass, “you fuckin’ peep a word to Ariana and i swear to god. Alright?”

You nod frantically, confirming that you were his little secret. His, and only his.

“Thats it babydoll, you did so good f’me”

more of my works on the first # !!

taglist: @prettiest-angel

[cookie-crumblr]

F!Reader x Therapist Yan OC Sheila~

Tigers in the Garden🐅✨

Her Info: 📋❤️‍🔥

Was a Drabble i swear… Part 1~

Next Part—>

!MINORS DNI!

CW: F!Reader, Reader has a vagina, reader referred to as she/her, use of strap on reader, fxf, strap in readers v, reader SH(Before it starts, not described, just mentioned and implied in convo), sub and slightly bratty reader, reader is a stoner, reader wears makeup, imbalanced power, DUB-CON(coercion and blackmail), reader has hair(not described), nipple play(a little), choking, not proofread, rough sex, rough with reader in general, spanking, lemme no if i missed any! :3 names for reader(brat, slut, whore),smut with barely any plot in this part, power imbalance

“Okay,” You shrug. “Whatever, i guess” The ‘good’ people in white coats guide you down a sea-green, sterile-smelling corridor.

Youre finally being let out of your mandatory three day stay at a mental health facility(more like prison). They’re letting you out on the condition you see the therapist they’ve set you up with.

Sheila Reichsgraf.

You’ve got nothing but the clothes you came in with in a plastic baggie with your phone, wallet, and keys. They gave you clothes that don’t quite fit or look good on you, and a piece of paper saying where you are to go tomorrow. For tonight? some well earned weed and munchies to go with. Maybe some masturbating too, you’ll see where the night takes you.

Now sitting in front of this woman(more like tigress), you slouch down into your seat. Her gaze is unreadable but scrutinizing.

“I’ve, of course, been informed of your admittance to Fir’s Rest. Would you like to talk about it?” She asks, while typing on her computer.

“Nope.” You sag further into the black velvet chaise lounge.

“I’d like you to talk about it.” She slides her keyboard out of her way, and folds her hands in front of herself.

“I’d like you to kindly shut it about that actually.” You snap.

“Take off your clothes.” Her voice is stern, but no louder than before.

“Ex-fucking-Scuse you!?” you exclaim, what the fuck is she on!? like sure you think she’s way too hot for this plane of existence but like ???

“Take off your clothes.” she interrupts your thoughts, repeating the same thing over again in the same tone. “Unless…” She continues before you can pipe back, “You’d rather go back to the facility.” she takes something out of a black leather padfolio before closing it, and sighing heavily.

You roll your eyes. “What, so you’re like, coercing me now? what’s next ?? threaten to tell my mother?” that would be terrible cause after all you’ve been through for that woman you at the very least want your share of the inheritance.

“Exactly that, darling~” As she walks toward you, you watch her in shock, or disbelief. She extends perfectly manicured, dark skin hands toward you, with a fan of polaroid photos of you in a mental hospital, butt hanging out of your polka dot gown, grippy socks and a trailing IV and all.

“Are you fucking serious right now? You’re sick! You’re a lunatic! If you even think that i’ll—” your voice is completely halted when she roughly grabs you by the cheeks and squeezes your lips into a fish mouth. You scowl up at her deeply. You think about spitting on her, but think better of it. thankfully.

“Listen to you, a brat like you needs to be put in her place.” A smile spreads across her cheeks, dimples pop out near the angled tips of it going into her cheeks.

She really is hot.

You swallow.

She roughly lets go of your face as you pull away. your hair muses and gets in your eyes but you don’t blink and lose eye contact for a second.

Sheila grips your arms to pull you up out of your chair, and throws you hands first into her desk.

Stunned by how fast this all happened, you remain there long enough for her to wrap herself around you.

You let out a cute little whimper as she pinches your nipple through the fabric. You weren’t expecting it, and the shock that got sent directly to your clit.

“Such a good whore under there, already whimpering for me~?” You hear the smile in her voice, as her head buries into the crook of your neck. It tickles and you jump, your ass slamming back into her body. she clings onto you tighter, to hold you still. Somehow you feel like she completely envelops you.

Your core is already hot as she quickly and roughly removes your clothes, feeling up your skin and grabbing everywhere she can as soon as it’s bare. From your hips, to your belly, down and even back up to your ribs, down your arms. Everywhere on you that enters the light, she roams. Her mouth isn’t far behind, kissing and biting you, devouring you fully.

Sheila spreads your legs, one at a time, and puts your hands back on her desk so that your leaning forward. You’re too out of breath and dumb right now to even think of moving. Your back is arched and your ass wiggles slightly on its own, beckoning her and her throbbing clit. She’s equally out of breath, dripping just like you are, her heels click on the wood as she removes her clothes, staring at your swaying backside all the while.

“You’re going to take all of this, aren’t you slut?” Her big beautiful strap on flings out to attention. Your head falls to one shoulder so that you can glimpse it… You swallow harder than before, your brows peaking as you start to imagine the stretch around that thing. You nod.

You don’t have to imagine for long before she’s grabbing your neck to pull your body up against hers. Hard nipples poke your back and you shiver. Delicious, you want those in your mouth, don’t you? “I won’t go easy.” She coos menacingly, and squeezes your throat gently until you see stars.

She rubs her cock against your entrance, prodding, and poking, slowly diving into your needy, wet hole. You’re already stretching around just her head and feeling so good at the same time, whining and whimpering until, she plunges it inside you. All at once and you bite your lip, unable to breathe anymore.

“FUCK!” You puff out the last of your air with one word.

“Soon you’ll be screaming Doctor…” She whispers into your ear before pulling away as far back as her arm will allow, so that she has a better vantage point. Watching your ass as she pulls her strap out, that looks like it’s as far in as your tail bone or further, her clit sends ripples of pleasure throughout her body.

She licks her lips and slams into you this time. She’ll have to savor watching it slowly get swallowed up by your tight pussy later. This time she pulls out faster and pushes back in just as fast. She sets a pace that’s both brutal and blissful to you, as the pain lessens the pleasure grows, and it grows exponentially.

Her nails dig into your throat and her other comes around to tweak your clit, it makes you start to shake and twitch, your arms wobble trying to keep you upright.. Her own orgasm building as the strap rubs her back with every thrust, she moans behind you, you tighten around her, and open yourself up more to take her better.

“D-Doctor!” You practically beg, not knowing what for; more, less, faster, slower! But she was right, and you yell, “Doctor!!” again. She gets faster and faster, your butt is hot from the force of her slamming into you. the slapping of skin against wet skin, combined with stuffed groans and more hoarse “Doctor”’s fill the office.

Blackened tears streak down your face as you cum around her cock you shake and convulse barley able to hold yourself up against the low desk, even with the help of her hand still wrapped around your throat. She keeps pounding you. Ruthlessly. Through your orgasm and straight into your crashing next two. “Who would have thought you’d be such a good girl under that attitude.”

Suddenly she pushes in deeper than ever before, stealing even more air from the depths of your soul. You swear you can feel her hitting there too. “Take all of me,” her hand runs down your hair and back. Then she slowly pulls out, letting you really feel the thick vein that twists around her length. You shudder around her, and whimpers keep falling freely from your open, puffy lips, you’re spent.

She plays with your hair gently, before spanking your already warm ass. You jump, “Wha-!” Your too dumb to even form one little word. Her hand rounds where she just slapped and you think she’ll slap you in the same spot when she pulls away, you brace for impact. You yelp! when she slaps your raw pussy instead.

The phone rings…

You don’t see her look at the caller ID, but you hear her sigh.

“This session is over. Come back next week.” She completely pulls away leaving you cold on the outside but still burning for her on the inside.

“What about—?” You start, before she interrupts.

“Session’s over.” she says while buttoning her shirt, then pats down her skirt, before turning back to you, and winks, “Like I said, come back next week” Your heart pounds. Can you even wait a week?

What are you even thinking right now!?

…

You glance back at her. She licks her lips.

She’s on the edge of her desk and watching you get dressed, you walk out the door with a slight limp and her eyes, practically ticklish on your back.

You have to catch your breath outside the thick wood doors.

Sheila groans before picking up the receiver.

“Hello, mommy dearest…” She makes her voice higher pitched and ready to please.

[love-toxin]

omg are we talking p5....i wouldn't mind ryuji being my yandere because he's just so cute 🥺 yes we can go get 5 bowls of ramen and yes we can do whatever u want bc i love that one brain cell floating around

you are touching my brain wrinkles rn i love u......mwah.....my hand has been coerced.....

Yandere Ryuji Sakamoto HCs

cws: yandere, jealousy, college-era phantom thieves, stalking, mentions of murder, intense worshipper complex, ryuji being well-endowed, rough sex, bruises, pregnancy mention

☆ hc / ♡ spicy hc / ♀️♂️ gendered hc / ‼️ dark hc

☆ Ryuji just happens to bump into you everywhere, primarily at school but also around the city when you're out and about. Each time it happens he tries to strike up a conversation, a couple times you've heard him psyching himself up and practicing beforehand, but when he doesn't he just slinks away and you think that's the end of it--not that he's hanging around and watching you from afar, which he is. It's rare that he's not, not that you've ever noticed.

☆ When he awakens his Persona, he feels unstoppable. It just hits him like a train that he has power, he can protect you, and he gets so much bolder than he was, though he still has to work himself up to talk to you or look you in the eyes. He just fantasizes about rescuing you from villains and getting a kiss from you for his efforts, wondering if he'll ever get to hear you call his name first when you're in trouble.

☆ While his friendship with Akira is too strong to crumble completely, he does get wildly jealous when you show any kind of affection for him, no matter how benign. It could be as simple as chatting away with him on the train or between classes, and Ryuji will be biting his tongue and clenching his fists to keep from throwing something or punching someone. Even if he can't identify exactly why he feels so strongly about it (because it's more than just jealousy, he can feel it) he knows that it's a feeling he has to tamp down as much as possible, because it'll surely scare you away if he shows that side of him to you.

☆ Speaking of friends, his whole friend group knows and routinely teases him for treating you so differently than he does anyone else. He's soft with you and gentle like he isn't with other people, he drops everything to talk to you and you make him laugh so hard even when your jokes aren't the least bit clever. Sometimes they poke fun at him for being so crude and loudmouthed and that he doesn't have a chance with you, especially since he can barely string together a sentence when you fluster him, but they know how much he likes you--some of them have an inkling of just how much, and although it's concerning, those people keep their mouths shut for the most part. Especially considering the tongue lashing they know they'll get if they say a bad word about you.

☆ His love languages are gifts and acts of service, both of which can have a lot to do with food. He'll give you things you never asked for either because he knows you need them, because he snooped on you or because it just reminded him of you and he thought you'd like it. It could be anything from little trinkets, drinks from the vending machines, pens, snacks, bread from the school store, or even an offer to join him for dinner which he promises will be on him. Usually that's ramen, with loooooots of ginger!

☆ In this same vein, acts of service encompass a lot of things, too. He'll sneak an extra pencil or an eraser into your backpack in case you lose yours, and he'll insist on offering you his water bottle because it's important to stay hydrated, and no it doesn't matter if you're playing sports or not. It's still important. Give him his indirect kiss. He'll run things for you if you mention needing to drop something off, he'll pick up things like library books or study materials from your teachers for you (and ignore the scrutinizing looks and disparaging comments from them), and he even risks being late to class when he runs all the way to your house and back to get the assignment you needed to hand in that day and forgot. For lack of better term, he does husband duties at a friend price--he's hoping to change that one day, though.

☆ You know that Ryuji will do anything you ask, he's practically waiting in anticipation for you to ask something of him so he can show you how devoted he is and how capable he can be. He doesn't care if people look down on him for hanging around a nice person like you, but he does get irrationally mad if someone makes a comment about you because you're hanging around him. He's completely convinced that you're nothing but an angel, that even your flaws are beautiful, and that's probably the only way you'll truly understand how he feels about you--when he blurts those feelings out while he's arguing with one of those guys spreading rumours about you, all while you're standing in earshot. So if you ask him, no matter how meekly, if he can do one more thing for you--if he can be your boyfriend--Ryuji is obviously more than eager to fulfill that wish, even though he's embarrassed about the way he confessed.

☆ And being your boyfriend means there's much more room for him to stretch his overprotective muscles. Just being your friend and defending you against rumours or ill whispering just doesn't ring as right as your boyfriend. Trust him, he'll use that term a lot, and in an especially smug way whenever someone either compliments you or tries to ask you out. "See that one there? That one's mine. I'm their boyfriend." he'll say with a grin, his arms folded over his puffed chest, because how much better does it get than this? Even though he's even more scrutinizing about people getting near you, it's totally worth it to have you look at him like he holds the world, even though you're the one that makes it better just by existing. And he's quite happy with that arrangement.

☆ It evolves, though, his obsession with you. Talking about you and showing off your pictures to people isn't enough, it doesn't fully encapsulate how wonderful you are, and he needs more. He both wants people to keep their filthy hands off you and to realize that you're better than anyone they'll have ever met--he wants you to be untouchable to everyone but him, maybe even him, because he's the one that deserves you the least. The worshipper complex develops in him slowly, but it'll come to a head, rest assured. There will come a time when things between you aren't as sweet, and Ryuji will be willingly destroying his life just to lift you up. Abandoning school, ignoring his friends, forgetting about his future.....nothing matters unless it has to do with you.

☆ The only one who can stop him is you. You're the one who has to stop him in his tracks, and encourage him to attend to the things he has to do to get by and will make him happy (even though he insists you're the only one he needs to do that). If you don't facilitate that regression back to his usual self, Ryuji will completely unravel--and that's when he's the most likely to end someone for your own good. That's when he might turn on his own friends just to make an example out of them, while you watch on in horror.

‼️ The worst of this would be if you're also a Persona user, but you're not like him or the others. If you share a similar power to Akira, and you have access to the Velvet Room, Ryuji will be consumed with jealousy over the fact that you two share something he doesn't. You two have a bond that's just different from everyone else's, and you can be sure that Ryuji will be trying to inject himself into those whispered conversations you have--and if he can't, he'll be listening in on them. He can be so stealthy that even Akira won't notice him, and if he hears one word of perceived flirtation or affection, then your black-haired friend might suddenly become indisposed for your upcoming mission. Maybe permanently, depending on how much force Ryuji ends up using in his rage.

♡ Ryuji doesn't know his own strength in many aspects, and the bedroom is also one of those places. Sweet, sensitive Ryuji is not a virgin, but he's not experienced either. His first time was some girl in his third year of high school that he barely even remembers, only that it was embarrassing and a bit unsatisfying to boot. Mostly because he wasn't able to please her, didn't know how, so he's determined not to make the same mistake with you. Meaning, of course, that he's desperate to prove himself--and that he may leave some bruises on you and ruin your ability to walk straight in the process.

♡ He's well aware that sticking it in and calling it a day is not the way to go--so he does what most would be too anxious or proud to do, and he asks you what you like. It's just as good if you don't know, cause you can figure it out together. But if you do, Ryuji pays close attention to everything you say and every area you reveal is most sensitive. He's mostly a neck kisser and a thigh grabber, so if those places are your sweet spots, he'll have quite the fun time seeing how he can get you to react to his mouth and his fingers. He might even suggest touching yourselves in front of each other before trying anything too serious first, to get a feel for what each of you like. And while it's definitely a plus for Ryuji to get to see you so vulnerable and cute, you'll also get to see how totally ruined he can look when he's getting off (because he definitely doesn't hold back) and get a gauge on the size you're working with, cause wow. Whatever you were expecting, it doesn't do his real self justice--it doesn't even begin to measure up to what you're gonna face, which may be either thrilling or anxiety-inducing depending on your experience.

♡ He's completely content with spending the initial moments of foreplay with his clothes on, his lips on your neck, and his hand down your underwear as he lies next to you in bed. He'll lick and spit on his own fingers to make it nice and easy to move around down there, but he won't spend much time away from that soft spot above your collar--he leaves mark upon bruise upon sore little teeth imprint, all spelling out the warning "this belongs to me" without having to say a word.

♡ By the time it gets to penetration, which doesn't always happen if he can get you off sufficiently before then, Ryuji is riled up. This is where strength often becomes a problem--he can barely keep it together long enough to get a condom on, so when he slides in for the first time of the night, he's almost totally gone within seconds of the sensation hitting him. Ryuji will just go hard, pounding your poor guts into mush with hips so wide and strong that it feels like he might crush you, and he could if he really wanted to. But he would never--he much prefers you to be alive, especially when you make such sweet mewls and squeaks and moans when there's air in your lungs and your body's pinned underneath his.

♡ As one might expect, he's a big fan of hitting it from behind. The act of dragging your hips back to meet his thrusts, his blunt nails dug into the fat there to leave visible marks, just strokes that spot inside him that makes him feel like he could cum just thinking about it. Each buck of his hips is so strong it's enough to bruise, and his size doesn't make it any easier, so it's almost certain that he's going to leave you bedridden more often than not if you don't ask him to be gentle.

♡♀️ If you're a female or you're able to carry a pregnancy, yandere Ryuji will beg you to think about having a baby with him. He's on track to getting a good job, he's got money now, and he wants a little product of your love so badly. What better way to flaunt you around as his precious partner than to have a baby cradled in your arms? And he would treat you like such a princess when you're pregnant, it would be just like when you first started dating, except to an even higher power. He would literally ban you from walking as soon as you get to the third or fourth month when you're really starting to show, and would insist on carrying you and your baby around whenever he's home. Refer to him as "papa" or "daddy" when you're talking about him as a father, and Ryuji will just melt right in front of you.

☆ He's just such a good man at heart, such a sweet man, that luring you in to his love is not nearly the task that one might think it is based on his reputation. He can make you love him without really trying, or trying so hard he abandons every other thought in his mind--because you're really all there is residing in there anyways.

[ninelivesastrology]

I wanted to preface this one because it's just not ordinary astrology content. I'm never proud of having to use astrology for stuff like this, but it works. Horary is my most used form of divination and it will stay that way because I find it to be the best for me.

I think about a lot of charts I have cast in the past with the context of seeing if I missed anything and if I learned anything new I can apply to them. Today I was thinking about this one where I used it to find out if a friend of mine was talking behind my back. I'm deciding to post it as an educational resource.

My life was pretty turbulent for a while there and when I had no answers, but a lot of clues, horary was there.

This is the horary I cast where I asked if my "friend" [L] was talking to my stalker or abusive ex's accomplice [I] behind my back.

No, late Ascendants do not matter, chart is radical as hell and describes the situation perfectly.

Speaking of the situation, horary requires context.

Context first, then interpretation below.

Mind the content and trigger warnings.

[tw, cw]: coercive control, extortion, physical stalking, cyberstalking, harassment, domestic abuse, reproductive abuse, spiritual abuse, financial abuse, animal abuse mention, implied CSA, adult grooming, drugs

I thought [L's] behavior was really weird towards me despite reading for her for years. My gut was telling me something was off about our friendship, I just hadn't bothered because I was busy being a mother. I didn't like how she seemed either silent or an echo chamber. I recognized she had mirrored me/lied about quite a number of things and had freely given money as fake support, something that is another red flag.

Speaking of [I], I have never met her. To my knowledge, she claims to know me, but what she does is coerce other people into befriend me under false pretenses and associates with all these people close to me so she has all this information where makes it seem like she knows me personally. My abusive ex stole my SIM card and gave it to her right before I left behind his back for my safety because he already threatened me. She's cried wolf about me when in reality, she was doing crazy things like sleeping with my abuser while my abuser had me trapped in his house, trying to walk up on me in the middle of night when I'd be sitting outside, sneaking in the house with him while I was sleeping. My belongings were even stolen. I found her rings in his car and he lied about it. I knew he lied, but why bother fighting about it? She even befriended my husband's abuser/Xanny the Nanny who name dropped her as I walked by. She even befriended one of my friends who played the grooming game I'm about to describe. She was a bonafide side bitch who was obsessed with me that so much as a queer woman, I had to wonder if she wanted to be with me. I actually did cast a horary about [I] and if she had romantic feelings for me and yeah, she did have romantic feelings for me because why would anybody do all of this if they didn't?

If I really am talking about how bad it was, there was dead animals being left where I lived. One was left under my husband's bedroom window. Leaving dead animals at someone's residence is literally a common threat in stalking situations.

It's a huge cautionary tale about obsession. Sometimes women will have sex with your significant other because they really want to have sex with you because it's the closest thing. And unavailability translates to rejection which triggers people. Also, I find hybristophilia to be at the heart of this situation.

Personally, I don't share dick, I'm too 1H for all that. My abuser and [I] stalked me afterwards because my abuser was scared of me telling people what he did to me.

TLDR: "If I can't have you, no one can" and then before you know it, all of your relationships are destroyed as a means to isolate you and spite you.

The last thing [L] asked of me was to do a love reading for her, but I don't believe this love reading was for her, I believe it was for [I] and my violent, abusive ex whom she was desperate to protect and defend and lie for or that it was for [I] and me. But [L] had been crossing me for a long time, giving information to [I] such as usernames of mine, probably recording voice notes of mine, so I could continue to monitor me and smear me to anyone who interacted with me. The desperation of it all. Like I never met this bitch a day in my life and nobody has rode my dick harder while making constant threats against me.

You can't rationalize the irrational shit that irrational people do, okay? I told my therapist that.

I already had long learned that people liked to test and trick me as an astrologer (hence asking for a reading when it's really for someone else), basically play in my face and laugh about it behind my back. I believe [L] was attempting to learn horary for [I] so [L] could predict everything about my life and relationship for [I] and was using me to help because you know what, people always need your skills as an astrologer to fuck you over. It is always the ones who intensely admire you and want to be like you that hate you.

As a new mom, I found all of this abhorrent and repulsive. To be obsessed over, exploited is to be dehumanized. I still fear for my family and I's safety. [L] knew that and did all of this anyway.

******************** interpretation********************

First of all, Libra rises and we are talking about relationships!

L1 functions to introduce the situation, Venus is rising in its detriment, Scorpio. It makes the chart radical because Venus rules women and friendship. Because it's in Scorpio, a sign that denotes betrayal, that was low-key my first answer that there is no friendship.

The in depth answer is really layered, but stick with me...

The Moon is my significator in Libra.

[L's] significator is Mercury in Capricorn, L11.

[I's] significator is Mars in Sagittarius, L7.

Both Mercury and Mars are peregrine and therefore acting of malice because they have no dignity.

Mars is hidden by the Sun which immediately signs off as Mars acting in secrecy. One of Mars' significations is of course, double-dealing and it's in a double-bodied sign (Sagittarius). Mars is in the domicile of L3 and L5, Jupiter. It appears to me that I was very invested in gossip, my social media and my infant, whom I sent pictures of or possibly sexual related matters of mine. [I] was so desperate to prove that my abuser hadn't abused me that these are the lengths she went to... 2 years after I left my abuser.

The Moon separates from Mercury and applies to Mars which is a translation of light, a form of perfection. It connects all three of us which tells me that yes, [L] is talking behind my back to [I]. Like I don't talk to her, so... 1+1=2.

What's really tea about this chart is that [L] is in the detriment (Capricorn, infamous for lacking a moral compass) of me, the Moon, but I was in [L's] triplicity (Libra). By reception, she hated me and is capable of harm, but I liked her as a friend. She hated me, but continued to associate with me. But [I] is in the detriment (Sagittarius) of [L], which tells me [I] hated [L] and could only using her. The Moon is in the detriment of Mars, telling me I hate that bitch and that I have friendship and truth on my mind at the moment I pulled this chart.

Meanwhile, [L, Mercury in Capricorn] exalted [I, Mars] which paints a [L] as a blind follower which is gross because [L] was literally older than me, preying on me and pretending to care about me when she didn't. I think [L] cared about money because she claimed her job didn't believe her about her "workplace injury" (red flag) and I do think it was drug related due to certain things she slipped up on. Mercury is conjoining the Part of Fortune, in the dignity of L4, Saturn which is probably Xanny the Nanny who manipulates people with drugs and money because she is aware of how addicts will do anything if you give them money and has constantly tried to break up my relationship by meddling in me and my husband's friendships. Context is contexting...

I don't associate with people who enable abuse and I was being preyed on my entire pregnancy by them and at the time I cast this, I was in postpartum and I believe [L] and [I] were trying to push me into PPP or trigger my illness which required intervention months before. I find all of it to be really racially motivated, too. All ties lead back to my radicalized abuser whom I have spoken about before.

I interpreted this horary to her and she agreed with everything as usual because she's a yes-man and said it was so horrible that this shit was being done to me and that [I] seemed like such a crazy pick-me, literally mirroring what I said.

Whole time I'm thinking, "Wow, you really a fucking liar." Like a peregrine Mercury is a liar in horary. No cap.

Then I told her that she was the friend I inquired about in this horary.

She guilt tripped me in response over a similar illness to mine that she more than likely lied about having. She avoided me for days which I found soooo guilty. I blocked her after deciding I believe charts and not people and never spoke to her again because I don't need this in my life.

I don't care about ruining astrology for people like this. I even got feedback on this, too because I needed to know they saw exactly what I did. Whew, they did.

A subsequent horary I cast recently was an inquiry if [L] wanted to apologize to me. Another translation of light from me to her by the Moon. I think she actually tried to do so with money as the Moon ruled L8. I never received it as the chart depicted because I blocked her.

That's the problem with abusers who think you're money hungry or know you are currently in need of money. They use it as a power dynamic to control you and manipulate you. It's financial abuse. I have a history with financial abuse and extortion that when I recognize it, I cut ties. They get to turn around and say they tried to help you when in reality, it was for their own motives. She even posted about trying to be a friend to me to cover her ass. Meanwhile I resumed my life.

You will really be blackmailed and not know it, be the reason someone's pockets are full and not know it. You will be in harm's way and not know it. This is why I stan horary because it's kept me safe from abusers who jump at the opportunity to run a power dynamic on you when you're vulnerable.

After this, Xanny the Nanny was hoovering my husband for months because this is how she stalked us by using people we knew. Just weeks after I ended my friendship with [L], she emailed my husband and mentioned how she was hanging out with my domestic abuser at his home and we already knew he was in legal trouble for sexual material. She started begging for pictures of my child which just made me believe my child was being preyed on from a distance. Someone said you can never be paranoid when it comes to your child. Word.

After all, this is the same guy who told me to get pregnant by him and leave my baby with him, then repeatedly tried to get me pregnant without my consent with that intent. It's an understatement to say I'm glad I said no.

[j-l-kepler]

For the ask game: Failure for Briar, Betrayal for Em, Alone for Eckhart!

OHOHOHO THE ANGST... Thank you for this ask! Sorry I didn't get to it sooner!

From this [post]

CW Warnings and Answers below the cut!

Briar Lockren - Failure

[CW - Abuse in Family and Relationships, Implied & Attempted SA and Coercion]

What's your OC's greatest failure? Have they been able to move past it? Does anyone else know about it?

To her, Briar's greatest failure was not stopping Rowan from his Ascension. To answer all those questions, I'll tell you her story.

See, Rowan Amberclaw was more than a friend she grew up alongside - they were all they had as they grew up in the Cult of Cyric. Briar was a half-drow who was very clearly not her spiteful father's daughter, so she was never accepted enough for the cult's teachings to stick. Rowan, however, was the son of their sect's leader and always felt he was coming up short. They relied on each other. They had no one else in the world.

Rowan didn't leave the cult while Briar did what she could to distance herself, but the two remained close. Since their main concern was sabotaging Banite uprisings in Luskan, Briar was able to be persuaded to help unofficially. I don't think every enemy they faced was deserving, and Briar buried her suspicions in order to preserve their unstable relationship. Rowan got very good at lying to Briar and coercing her into situations she would later rationalize. They were 18, just barely adults, and neither had a good frame of reference for what a relationship was supposed to be. Even so, they loved each other. Briar was a very different person back then. They both were.

Briar made a lot of excuses for him, but she didn't internalize the gravity of her compliance until it was too late. I couldn't tell you when Rowan's genuine love for Briar twisted, but I can tell you when she finally couldn't ignore it.

On the night Rowan killed his own father and usurped his position, Cyric recognized the young man. His deceit, his entitlement, his ego, they were all worthy tributes to The Prince of Lies, and so Rowan became the Chosen of Cyric. Briar believed she was at fault for enabling him, but then he tried to do something terrible. There were no sweetened lies or honeyed words that could distract her from the reality of who he had become. She fled, and he cursed her on her way out the door.

It's been three long years of travelling to outrun Rowan's watchful eye. She hasn't been able to move past it. Misfortunes followed her like a shadow ever since. Anyone who knew about her curse didn't live very long due to natural disaster or mysterious unlucky circumstances snuffing out their lights. (Basically, Briar turned into a Final Destination magnet) And that's on the off-chance they didn't run her out of town for having Cyric's symbol branded onto her arm!

Briar believes Rowan's ascension could've been avoided if she did more than comply with him. If she tried harder to get him away from the cult, maybe they could've been happy together. The worst times are when she believes she should just go back to him so he'll stop haunting her nightmares.

I don't think Briar was right to enable him. But I don't think she would've been able to help as much as she hoped she would. I don't know who Rowan would've been. I only know who he chose to be, and that Briar regrets her hand in it every day of her life.

(Briar was written as a fake Companion Quest "The Weary Ranger" before I made her a Tav, so she's got a hell of a history lol)

These next ones will be a bit easier, I wager...

Emerleigh Markolac - Betrayal

[CW - Mentions of the Slave Trade in D&D, Implied Sex Work]

Has your OC ever been betrayed by someone they thought they could trust? Has your OC ever betrayed someone who trusted them?

Emerleigh has arguably suffered 2 major betrayals in her life, but at different speeds and intensities.

The first was at the hands of their older sister Hedryn, when she foolishly tried to temporarily sell the twins for passage into the Xanathar Guild for protections from her MANY debts and troubles. This betrayal was swift and painful, seemingly out of nowhere. Someone she deeply trusted turned on her on a dime. Even though Em understands the emotional circumstances better than Eckhart, that doesn't mean she doesn't understand what Hedryn did was unforgivable and extremely painful for them.

Marble is a slow realization over time instead of an instant betrayal. She and Eckhart trusted Marble after he took them in from the slave trade and showered them with gifts and affection. But over time, she grew to realize he was using them and would do anything in his power to keep the two of them in line. It was a painful realization for her, but less intense due to its unravelling nature and the fact Marble always had a "too good to be true" vibe about him. She made the mistake of believing her well-being meant anything to him. Every terrible client or dangerous job he sent their way was a violation of the twins' trust in him.

The only other person Emerleigh has let herself trust is Eckhart, who has never violated that trust. They're all the other has.

Despite knowing the pain of betrayal well, that doesn't mean Emerleigh's without her own victims. After all the Markolac Twins are con artists at Marble's beckon call first and foremost. Exploiting trust is part of the game. As a bard, it's always been her job to enrapture and seduce with her wiles and words, and she's one of the best in the Gate when she puts her mind to it. How fortunate for her conscience that Marble does dirty dealings with some evil bastards.

So, yes, Emerleigh's betrayed a lot of peoples' trust. Whether they deserve it or not isn't as simple an answer.

Eckhart Markolac - Alone

[CW - Codependance, Hypersexuality]

How does your OC deal with loneliness? Have they ever been completely alone before? How do they act when there's no one around to see them?

Eckhart is the funniest and most tragic choice you could've made for this because Eckhart is rarely alone. He's practically glued to Emerleigh's hip, and she's glued to his. If they split up on purpose, it's rarely for longer than an hour or so.

If Eckhart is alone, it's because he's either in Marble's solitary confinement chamber or because Emerleigh is on a job. If he's got no work to keep him busy, he spends his time either in their room (which they share) or out on the town if he's able to sneak out (though the Undercellar has plenty of fun to be had despite it basically being his prison). If he's able to get out, he looks for company in taverns. He either drinks until he starts a fight, spends the night cheating at cards with one-night friends, or getting busy with fellow patrons. You may have noticed, but Eck's hypersexuality is a lot less performative than Em's. She's hypersexual as a method of self-reclamation mixed with some complicated feelings about what's expected of her, while Eckhart does it to distract himself and not feel so godsdamned lonely.

If taverns aren't an option, he fiddles with anything he can find. He hates letting his mind wander because it often goes to a lot of his repressed emotions he's refusing to deal with. He took up cartography, has read every single one of Em's Volothamp Geddarm books (with special focus on the monsters of the open ocean), and one time broke a lute she received as a gift from an admirer when he tried playing it. He mumbles to himself to keep himself busy.

When he's alone on a job, though, that takes all of his mental energy so he doesn't need to fiddle with something or talk to himself.

Most strikingly, Eckhart is stoic when he's alone. He rarely cracks a smile and is more overtly grumpy as opposed to his wry sarcastic streak when he's around people. He doesn't perform being in control when he's alone.

I think if somebody called him codependent, I wouldn't be able to disagree. Eck's not very good at handling life by himself, he can't even pretend to trust others, and that hampers his ability to grow on his own. He's dependent on others to act as a crutch for his personal growth, and acting on his own leads to a kind of emotional atrophy.

THANK YOU FOR ASKING THESE, I HAD A LOT OF FUN COMING UP WITH ANSWERS FOR MY LITTLE ANGST MACHINES

[lakesbian]

(CW for discussion of sexual abuse, because you can’t make a post about alec vasil without mentioning sexual abuse at least once)

you know how i mentioned alec’s DIY’d shitshow of an ethics system leaning on the idea that eye-for-an-eye is good? there’s some interesting interactions between that and taylor’s system of ethics. 

it’s really funny that in shell 4.2 taylor says she doesn’t believe in “that whole eye for an eye business,” and then she promptly graduates to Literally removing both lung and valefor’s eyes in really horrifying ways by justifying it with...the exact same principles she’s disagreeing with alec for having in shell 4.2

despite what she says in her debate with alec, they end up with very similar mindsets. alec thinks that sophia deserves assault^1 because she assaulted taylor. taylor thinks that valefor doesn’t deserve mercy because of what he’s done. both of them decide who it’s acceptable to hurt by sorting people into mental categories of “good/undeserving of retribution and thus not ok to hurt” and “bad/deserving of retribution and thus ok to hurt”--the main difference is that taylor’s judgments allow more room for nuances regarding what type of retributive violence she views as permissible because she hasn’t been as numbed to all types of violence as alec has. (there’s also the distinction that alec is primarily concerned with small-scale punitive justice in perceived defense of him & his friends, whereas taylor is often concerned with “the greater good” or other larger-scale goals and deciding who is a justifiable/necessary sacrifice for it.) 

alec has the eye for an eye mindset before taylor does, but i wouldn’t be surprised if she ultimately reinforces it in him. he’s aware his own ethics system is a DIY’d shitshow and actively takes cues from the other undersiders to refine his behavior, which is why he’s so interested in arguing with taylor about sophia. he’s genuinely invested in trying to get his head around her moral philosophy. he obscures the reason he’s missing her rationale behind the vaguely-phrased “i’m not smart like you guys are,” but he does admit that he knows he’s missing something, and does admit he knows he’s missing whatever that something is because he’s lacking a mental quality everyone else has. 

when she suggests removing valefor’s eyes, he leaves the ultimate ethical decision up to her, because he’s not sure, but he’s fairly certain this sort of thing isn’t great?--and then he speaks up in agreement with the idea when her justification for it reinforces what he already believes, which is that eye-for-an-eye is good. her explanation of why the violence is permissible neatly satisfies both of their moral philosophies. despite taylor’s tendency to judge him as Ontologically Evil for his lack of empathy, they think in similar ways, and she actually tends to solidly reinforce his own beliefs when he looks at her for moral guidance.

^1 interesting note here is that alec isn’t capable of distinguishing between sexual assault and physical assault--he’s viewing it as “assault = assault, and sophia assaulted her, so why can’t she assault sophia back?” with no understanding that sexual violence is implicitly supposed to be viewed as more unacceptable. taylor’s remark that “it’s a little different” doesn’t adequately communicate this to him, so he’s left wondering where the hang-up is. this is presumably why he doesn’t think twice about groping sophia when he hijacks her in his interlude. as far as he can see, the only difference is that she deserves it. this, like all scenes in which alec is alarmingly casual about sexual violence, is a fairly direct result of alec’s family normalizing sexual violence to him and then coercing him to participate in it at a horrifically young age. he’s not ontologically evil, he was just pushed to sleep with adults when he was a preteen (among many other things), and his attitudes regarding sex & sexual violence never really recovered from that.

[pulpitude]

meet my mc ✦ ilw edition 2/4

yes i know i mentioned 5 mcs in ame's introduction post but i got rid of the fifth one lmao. rip milena wilder you and your slutty antics will be missed. also got rid of aoya and replaced him with mia since there's just something about ao that didn't leave me satisfied enough with their character to keep her as a mc 😭

also a little fun fact about mc's sister: since all my mcs are so different and have different ethnicities i headcanon their sister's full name to be something else every time i play. in mia's case her full name is annalise labelle, in ame's case it's joanna grimes, for my korean mc it's shin an-hee and for my egyptian mc it's anipe el-sayed

(cw/tw for mention of sa and lesbophobia under the cut)

full name: euphemia "mia" labelle

age: 22

birthday: march 20th, 2000

gender: questioning if cis female or non-binary

pronouns: she/her

sexuality: greysexual lesbian (apologies for forgetting to put the grey flag above 😭)

personality type: genuine 99% of the time, aggressive once in a blue moon

love interest: amalia de león

occupation: unemployed, thinking of becoming a writer/poet

fate: merged with her human half, successfully defeated matty and cured the horrors

fates of friends: everyone survived and stayed

more:

♡ she has two mothers, esmé and miranda labelle, who only legally married when mia turned 12. she calls esmé "mom" and miranda "mama" or even "mamita". her name came to be because esmé wanted something that shortened to mia but didn't want to use just mia itself (she felt it's too basic), to which miranda suggested euphemia.

♡ however, what she doesn't know (and what neither of them wanted to reveal to her, for obvious reasons) is that her biological father is matthias. he used to cheat on silvia with esmé, who tried to leave him after finding out that he's married and that she's into women, but he manipulated her into repressing her attraction to women so she'd stay with him and coerced her into having sex with him.

♡ she's fairly loud about her shipping of abel and lincoln (but obviously not in front of them) and has gotten up to many shenanigans together with amalia trying to set them up, starting from the very first moment they saw the two interacting without arguing.

♡ she is 100% a girl written in pink, glittery gel pen. she frequently listens to female pop artists like britney spears, madonna, sabrina carpenter, (as of recently) chappell roan, girls generation and tomoko kawase. she's also a sanrio girlie and likes dressing in kawaii fashion with a bit of coquette inspiration. (yes all of my mcs are fashion icons don't blame me)

♡ mia does not sleep in that grey hoodie, most of the time she sleeps in bloomers or night gowns/baby dolls but those last ones are usually saved for when she wants to impress amalia. she does wear hoodies (rarely, but she does) but they're in her usual pastel color palette.

ps: if any matty stans follow my blog i'm sorry for making him into an even worse piece of crap than he is in canon

♡ she's very into writing and has been since she was a kid. she writes a bit of everything from poetry to fanfic to original stories and wants to have her works published in the future. ever since amalia got into fanfic as well, mia has beta read for her as well as given her writing tips.

♡ despite neither of them seeing matty as a father, mia still has a healthy sibling relationship with lincoln and considers him to be one of her best friends (and her one closest platonic friend ever since her relationship with amalia turned romantic). the fact they're related has yet to fully sink in for her, but the more time they spend together, the more things in common they realize they have. mlm wlw solidarity fr

[scumashling]

Thooughts on Redo of Healer/A Whump Rewrite

CW: mentions of abuse, physical torture, noncon, misogyny, homophobia and slavery below

Incoming long post. It does have a point.

So, awhile back before I made this account I decided to do an endurance watch of a somewhat infamous anime entitled Redo of Healer. For those of you blessed with ignorance, Redo is a dark fantasy harem romance/rape revenge story based on the light novel of the same name by Rui Tsukiyo.

Set in the Kingdom of Jioral, a kingdom currently at war with the Demon population and built on the slave trade of the demi human population, the story follows Keyaru, a Healing class hero, who after 4 years of being enslaved for his uniquely miraculous abilities, (and enduring a fuck ton of emotional, physical and sexual abuse along the way) embarks on a brutal quest for revenge against his sadistic former party members/tormentors, (Bullet the Cannon Hero, Blade the Sword Hero, and most prevalently, Princess Flare, the Magician Hero who orchestrated his drugging and imprisonment.)

He gets Flare first, escaping prison, cornering her in her own soundproof bedroom, and proceeding to torture her physically and eventually violently raping her. So, now that he's gotten his revenge, does he just kill her? Call it a day and leave her a broken, ruined mess like she did to him? I mean. What more could he possibly do to bring her lower?

He changes both their faces, fakes both their deaths, erases her memories, and when she comes too, he tells his named is Keyaruga (groan) her she's his loyal attendant and lover, dubs her Freiya, and immediately coerces her into having sex with him. They then embark on a journey to destroy the Kingdom she doesn't know is hers.

Along the way, he slowly begins recruiting more girls into this party/builds a harem, often by coercive or outright nonconsensual mean like drugging/brainwashing and having a lot of sex with

Setsuna- A slave demi human wolf girl named that he purchases as a battle slave/it's okay she wants to be a slave because he's just so great

Kureha- A knight of the Kingdom who Keyaruga who he drugs and raped after she attacks him

Eve-a extremely powerful demon girl. The only one he doesn't coerce into fucking him

(note: below is all my subjective opinion.)

I wanna stress that while it is a very Whump heavy story, Redo is extremely Not Good and I cannot recommend it. And I'm not just saying that because it's a rape porn with high production values (though it has a pretty intolerable amount of extremely brutal rape for anyone who either doesn't have a hardcore CNC kink or who's brain isn't broken from reading violent fanfiction at age 13 like yours truly),it is genuinely one of the worst written pieces of fiction I've ever read. The pacing is terrible, the magic system is generic , the dialogue is atrocious, try character designs are so mediocre ( wow another hot girl with gigantic tits? How did you come up with that idea?!), the villains are all vile depraved power tripping rapist idiots who immediately get their comeuppance by the equally vile protagonist, who is always one step ahead is also so insufferably smug. Its also extremely edgy and lazy in regards to how it treats shit like slavery (pure shock value pretty much,). Because plot and theme is not the point though, the torture porn is.

Redo of Healer is also, and I cannot stress this enough, extremely extremely homophobic ( if you disagree that's fine you're allowed to be wrong <3) I won't go into it too much bc this post is already long but Blades character can be be described as every horrible stereotypes about lesbians stacked on top of each other in a trench coat. The author is so transparently trying to offend me by writing her this way that she actually has the opposite effect and gives me the giggles. Which now that I type that out is kind how I feel about the whole story. it's a pretty terribly male power fantasy about a terrible violent man who sexually tortures slightly more terrible violent men and women. And quite frankly, when I watching it , all I could think was "I could write this so much better."

Because see, even though everything I said before about redo is true, i also find it incredibly interesting:

There are a lot of Whump tropes in redo. Slavery, dehumanization, beatings, bastards Whumpees getting revenge on lady Whumpers, conditioning I think? intimate and sadistic whumpers, mind control whump, non consensual drugging, human pets. Theres prob more I forgot. They aren't handled well but they are there.

I love the rape revenge genre. I have vivid memories of getting together with my teen girls friends and watching Jennifer Hills and Hailey Stark tear apart some bastards. Based shit.

Redo is the first male victim on female perpetrator rape revenge media I've come across. it is also, the first I've seen where a victim makes their rapist into a willing sex slave as part of their revenge.

There are story elements and themes that do hold potential, specifically around power and the places lines between victim and abuser get blurry. Eg: Keyarga assumes locking away Flare's memories has made her into a new person, because Freiya is so sweet, and Flare is an abusive bitch. He eventually has to come to terms with the fact that he didn't erase Flare. They are they same person. Freiya is sweet because she has none of Flares life experience, and is with someone who shows her love and appreciation. More if this instead of a smug asshole fucking hot women because he can

When I found myself disgusted I briefly entertained the thought that I might be sexist. analyzing that thought for more then a minute I realized that ridiculous. I don't hate it for being a male rape revenge, I hate it because it's a male power fantasy. And I hate it because of Keyarga. Because he is a man who is constantly drugging and brainwashing recruiting women who cross him into his slave battle harem, all of whom he rapes has sex with aside from Eve, and even if he's not framed as a good person, he's framed as a badass. People who feel entitled to hurt others because they were hurt are not badass. They are pathetic. And more importantly, they are broken. Any story about people like him worth it's salt with acknowledge that.

TLDR I am re writing Redo Of Healer as a Serious Story about a Bastard Whumpee Who Brainwashes and Enslaves his Whumper, and Falls in love with her in the process.

It's still in its early stages. I have some picrews, some plot outlining and the basic jist of how I want to change about the characters and what I want to keep, and my partner, who's more familiar with fantasy RPG stuff, is helping me develop the magic system into something more interesting. But I do want to thank this community because I've been stewing on this horrifying story about torture and the nature of power for so long wondering who would want to read it and now that I've learned of Whump I know there is actually a chance that there is an audience.

Anyway, I've been typing way too long. I will post more about this at another time.

Also a reminder, I am new to writblr and to tumblr in general. Im still finding my footing in terms of some of the functions of the site and the etiquette/social norms/terminology, or like, the ways people follow each other's writing? Idk where I'm going with this just please keep that in mind

[valyalyon]

3 Red Highway

Hiiii! The smut scene in this post is (so nice). First half of this post is Rosalia finding out LJ's status within his gang, while the second half is LJ coercing Rosalia into having sex in the woods in front of his gang... yeah this one's spicy. Enjoy everyone <3

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SEA MASTER LIST OR #LYONSEA DIVIDERS

About a week had passed driving up and down along the Red Highway...

CW: explicit sexual descriptions, dubious consent, mentions of drugs, public intercourse, unprotected sex with MC on birth control. MDNI. 2K words

...Rosalia still had no idea about what it was that Lazarus and his gang would do, and she didn’t completely understand LJ’s role in the gang.

She knew that everyone in the gang seemed to respect him, and seemed to be willing to do anything for him, but she couldn’t figure out if he was someone in the higher ranks.

That day in June was a particularly hot one. The Red Highway was quiet most of that day, with Rosalia and the gang arriving to yet another town and breaking the silence.

The gang gathered around, and Lazarus grabbed Rosalia by the arm, squeezing her a little too tight. She wanted to pull away, but didn’t bother, knowing she was trapped in his grasp, “The gang’s going to hang out here, but I want you to come in with me and the boys.”

Rosalia looked up at him, wondering why he was being so firm with her, but nodding her head, “okay…”

“I don’t want you to say very much, I’ll introduce you and you can say hi, but once I start talking again, I need you quiet,” Lazarus was speaking under his breath so that only she could hear him.

The rest of the gang members separated into their own little groups as Fox and Dog made their way over to Rosalia and Lazarus.

Once the four were together, Fox went in front with Dog and led Rosalia and Lazarus into this town’s bar. Inside, the lights were dim and the atmosphere was dark and scary.

Rosalia felt her nerves working as they moved through the empty bar towards a backroom.

The door was opened by a mountain of a man, who ushered them into a dark and private lounge area. There were red dim lights all over the room and a long love couch on one side.

Laying on the love couch were three naked women, although they looked to be 18 like Rosalia. In the center of the room, a man stood, with two men behind him.

Lazarus took the lead at this point, leaving Rosalia behind Fox and Dog, and walking straight up to the man in the center of the room, “Surge,” Lazarus called the man, “we’ll get to business in a second but, I have someone for you to meet.”

Surge was an old man, maybe late 60s, with gray hair and a very serious face that shifted momentarily into a kind one, “what you got, Leviathan?”

Rosalia had heard the gang calling Lazarus by the name “Leviathan” a couple times before, and was curious each time about how he got the name.

Fox and Dog stepped aside after greeting Surge, and Lazarus pulled Rosalia by the arm to stand beside him, “Surge, this is Angel. Angel, this is Surge.”

“Nice to meet you, Surge,” Rosalia smiled kindly at him, taking his outstretched hand.

Surge smiled back at her, and then turned his attention quickly to Lazarus, “you got yourself a Highway Girl, huh? Never thought I’d see the day that Leviathan would choose to keep just one girl.”

“Couldn’t help myself when I saw her,” Lazarus explained, and then, the conversation changed, “I’m going to need more MDMA, Ketamine, Shrooms, and LSD. Also, did you get the order with all the guns I asked for?”

Surge nodded to one of his guys and the man stepped aside and went into a box on the other side of the room, “I did get your guns. They got all their serial numbers still, you can leave them here and come back for them tomorrow or you can have your men scratch them up.”

“No waiting around, man, I’ve got a couple guys that put expedited requests in for these, I’ll just have my guys take care of the numbers,” Lazarus explained casually as one of the man came over to Fox and Dog.

The man handed them a bag, that they then examined before handing it over to Lazarus.

Lazarus took a look inside, counting all the drugs, then handing it back over to Fox.

Surge then sent his other man to retrieve the guns and the man went into another room, coming back with all the guns individually packaged.

There was a total of about 10 guns, 8 of which were different variations of pistols and hand-guns, and were therefore put into one big bag.

The remaining two guns were bigger, and needed to be carried individually. Fox was given the bag with the handguns and Dog took the two larger guns.

Rosalia was trying to avoid everyone’s eyes, but when she’d look around everyone was involved in their scheme, no one paying any attention to her. She was grateful for it, because she felt scared.

She knew the gang were criminals, but she really hadn’t seen it first hand and now that she was it was definitely leaving her confused and worried.

It didn’t seem dangerous right then, but she knew how quickly things could spiral and she wondered if being on the road with Lazarus would ever result in anything permanent or fruitful.

She worried that it wouldn’t, but she really didn’t want to lose him.

…

That night, Lazarus’ gang settled down around a campfire, the smoke from the fire flew above the canopy, the trees and the birds all quiet within those woods.

The night was hot just like the day, the sunset never erasing the heat the Red Highway carried through the towns.

A couple of the girls were dancing with their men in the middle of the circle. Everyone there was drinking or smoking. The smell of cigarettes and pot mixed in with the smoke, and Rosalia watched the trail of ashes light up the sky.

She was stoned and reflecting on the events from that morning. Lazarus could always tell when something was going on inside his girl’s head. He didn’t want to bring any attention to her just yet, so he pressed his hand up to her back to get her attention.

Rosalia focused for a second, turning her attention to Lazarus, “today made me realize that I don’t know you.”

“Well, that’s a kick to the gut,” Lazarus laughed, and wrapped his arm around her, kissing the top of her head, “you know my full real name, not a lot of people know that.”

“Are you the gang’s leader?” Rosalia asked, not breaking eye contact with him.

“I mean, who else would it be?” Lazarus pulled Rosalia onto his lap and placed his hands on her hips, moving her ass against his crotch.

Rosalia was surprised, and tried to get out of his embrace but was unable to move, “everyone is here, LJ, I can’t, we can’t…”

“You’re not doing anything bad… This is just a lap dance…” he said, as his hand started to move up her shirt, exposing her full breasts.

“LJ,” Rosalia gasped and moved her arms to cover her breasts, “we literally can’t do this here.”

“Just once never hurts us, does it?” Lazarus asked, moving her arms forcefully and putting them behind her back.

He held both her wrists with one hand, and with the other hand he unzipped her pants and slipped his hand in.

Within seconds, he was fingering a struggling Rosalia in front of everyone. All 35 gang members were talking amongst their groups, occasionally looking over at the couple.

Rosalia moaned quietly, almost as whimpers, and looked over her shoulder at Lazarus, “everyone keeps looking…”

“That’s okay, don’t you think they deserve a show?” Lazarus said this as he began to take off her pants. He tossed her shoes and pants to the side, and then started fingering her more vigorously.

“No…” The girl moaned, her hands trying meekly to stop Lazarus.

“My Angel, you’ve seen all the women the men have… You don’t think they’re hungry to see a good sexual experience between two hot people?”

“Let go of me…” Rosalia mumbled pathetically, as Lazarus slowly pulled his fingers out.

“I can’t do that, you know how much I love holding you,” Lazarus sounded earnest, and then he unzipped his pants and pulled them down, rubbing her ass against his cock.

“Just once… I know I’m going to hate this,” Rosalia finally agreed, her body shaking to feel his throbbing dick.

“Highly doubt that,” Lazarus said, rubbing his cock as he started to lift Rosalia up to his tip.

He held each leg in one hand as he slowly lowered her down around his cock. Her little pussy slowly got bigger, exposed to everyone from the gang to see.

A couple of the guys kept looking over, their expressions ravenous, and a couple of the women were blushing sheepishly.

Lazarus finished dropping her down onto him, and then started to bounce her along it. He groaned into her ear, feeling her back against his chest, “that’s it, good girl, that’s it…”

“This is so bad,” Rosalia covered her mouth as she moaned, her tits bouncing as she rode his dick.

“Your cum is all over my cock, Angel, is it really bad to you?” He asked, speeding up his thrusts, getting deeper into her gut, “everyone’s going to know now, how good you are at taking my cock…”

“You’re demented, LJ,” Rosalia yelped like a little kitten as Lazarus proceeded to smack her.

“Save it, girl… I know how much you like this, otherwise you wouldn’t be as turned on as you are,” Lazarus countered, his balls smacking against her clit as he thrusted all the way to her cervix.

“I’m going to cum in your little pussy in front of everyone. I want you to finger it nice and wide for them to watch,” His hardened cock was throbbing, the excitement of fucking her in front of everyone he was a boss for just turned the man on.

He liked having power and showing it off.

Just as he said, he groaned and slammed his cock all the way in, “fuuck…” He muttered, biting her shoulder as he began to pump out nut, after nut, after nut.

Rosalia could feel how wet she was, and could feel the cold air on her naked body. She didn’t have a second to think, Lazarus laid her down on a towel and told her to open her legs.

She did as he asked, opening her legs. Her fingers made their way to her pussy, and she started to collect the dripping cum from her pussy. Wrapping it with her pretty fingers she pushed the cum back into her pussy.

Most of the guys had their eyes glued to her pussy as she did it.

Her head turned back as she moaned and fingered herself, trembling, “I love feeling your cum filling me…” She moaned, looking up at Lazarus.

“Clean my cock for me, girl,” Lazarus said, getting her up onto her knees and filling her open mouth with his still solid cock, “Go on, lick it off, pretty girl.”

She closed her green eyes, sucking happily on his tip, before sliding her way down the whole cock, swallowing up all the cum he had.

“Good girl,” Lazarus said, pulling her up to her feet and kissing her, “now get dressed… I’m tired of everyone looking at you.”

“Jealous now, are you?” Rosalia stayed naked, looking up at him defiantly.

“Get dressed or I’ll beat your ass in front of everyone,” He said, leading her to her clothes and cornering her behind him.

He turned his attention to the men that were staring, his voice was pissed as he moved forward threateningly, “what the fuck you idiots looking at?”

Everyone quickly turned away and returned to their conversations as if nothing had happened.

[unhingedselfships]

YakKimi Kadokura-verse Masterlist Pt2

Undated (I can provide where they fit if asked, but its largely irrelevant in most cases)

Kadokura 'shoots' Kimi, for medical reasons aka arthritis sucks

Touching up the dye job

Kimi's bad parenting part one of many

Mio loves her Uncle Kenshi, and also knives

Mio coerces Kadokura into a zoo trip

Cherry Blossom Festival cuteness

Kimi talks about one of the worst nights of her life (cw:grief, discussion of reaction to death)

Kimi talks about a different terrible night in vaguer terms (cw:past CSA mention)

Kimi just really hates seafood

Why Kenshi wears turtlenecks

Kimi can't temperature regulate for shit

When the pain hits 10

Kimi is needy when sad

Not the first loss (cw:pregnancy loss/miscarriage)

Kimi has some food related trauma (cw:eating disorder mention)

Affair accusations are common, and unfounded

Kimi is stubborn and will use windows as entry points

Kadokura is not amused with the girls antics (NSFT/Smut)

Kenshi killed someone Kimi knows

Kimi's filter vanishes when sufficiently drunk

Kimi is pregnant and why yes her hair is more important than you

Kimi is pregnant again and yes, she is still more important

The kids see Kenshi all messy and Kichi has questions

Yayoi actually goes to bat not exactly for Kimi but kinda

Kimi is really a terrible parent

Kimi believes in soulmates

One should be careful when handling a fanatic

Dumbass got herself shot (cw: gun violence, blood, dissociation)

Kimi thinks of impossible things and gets sad

The marriage thing is complicated ok?

Kimi says something about Airi that was meant to be left unsaid

Kimi really likes how Kenshi looks in red

Kenshi has weird coping mechanisms and Kimi helps (cw: choking)

Kimi also has weird coping mechanisms and also knows other people (cw: choking)

Pigs will eat anything, be wary of pig farmers (cw: death)

Kimi has body issues and Kenshi can be sweet in his way

Kenshi really likes Kimi's body in his own odd way

Kimi is jealous and fussy

Kimi cannot hold her alcohol for shit

Phe hates Kadokura but she wants Kimi to be happy

Kimi forgets that she is into some rough shit and startles Kenshi (cw: implied consensual rough sex/kink)

Kimi gushes about Kenshi to a random party goer

Teenage Airi is an absolute shit, we love him for it

Kimi has a dirty mouth and dirtier thoughts (cw: explicit discussion of smut)

Kimi dreams about a wedding that she believed would never happen

This girl is absolutely smitten, its almost gross (NSFT/smut)

Kimi gets drunk and nippy

Making up stories about Kenshi's scars

Main timeline Kimi has a dream about Yakuza Kadokura and yeah (cw: kinks)

Kimi was dumb, got hurt, and tried to hide it

Kimi's only real form of exercise

Kenshi has a very vivid dream and wakes up needy (NSFT/Smut)

Kimi gets drugged and freaks out (cw: involuntary drug use)

Kenshi gets tired of Kimi being horny all the time

Kimi was planning that wedding for ages

She worked very hard on a dress she never thought she'd wear

AUs

Chibi-hime and Mommy-chan (Sagawa lives somehow AU)

Kimi maybe dies and its very sad

YakuKura-Verse, Kimi is autistic as hell

Daigo has a different answer to the affair rumors

YK- Kimi learns she has a kink

YK- Kimi learns she has another kink (NSFT/smut)

YK - In which Kimi was a virgin (NSFT/smut)

YK- Kimi goes fully unhinged in a jealous fit (cw: blood, death, dissociation)

YK - kimi is possessive and unhinged and yakuza!kadokura is ok with that Majimemegoro Exclusive!

YK - Kimi goes fully unhinged in a protective fit (cw: gun violence, death, blood)

YK - Kimi goes fully unhinged because she has just lost the plot (cw: gun violcence, gang violence)

YK - Kimi gets a new knife, and shows it off

MASTER LIST PT 1

[nostalgia-tblr]

CW: mention of sexual coercion and manipulation. I just had a dark!Lokius prompt thought. So it all starts with Mobius doing something fucked up to Loki (maybe he coerces him into sex, or makes him relive an experience with the Other or Thanos). Mobius feels guilty about it, and Loki notices this. So Loki keeps bringing up the event to guilt-trip him to get his way(as much as permitted by Mobius' guilt) and hopefully escape.

That's pretty fucked up, Anon, good work!

They should get stuck in a weird twisted dance of manipulating each other. That'd be hot interesting.

[freedom-of-fanfic]

Wait, can you elaborate on "the only consent that counts is enthusiastic consent" as a form of radfem rhetoric? I am in very inclusive circles irl that are kink, nonbinary, trans, and sex work friendly and, as far as I know, people in my circles also believe that.

(related to this post about radfem lite rhetoric)

yes, happily!

I don’t have time at this exact moment to write the usual long post, but--

 the short explanation for why ‘enthusiastic consent is the only kind of consent that counts’ is rooted in radfem rhetoric is:

to claim it’s possible to have consensual sex that is not actually consensual is radfem rhetoric.

by creating a divide where there’s ‘consensual sex’ and ‘enthusiastic consensual sex’ - but only one of these counts as ‘actually consensual’ - then what does ‘consensual’ mean? and what’s the difference between ‘[non-enthusiastic] consensual sex’ and non-consenting/coerced sex - that is, rape?

creating this question about the meaning of ‘giving consent’ is key to introducing a central radfem tenant, which is: because of patriarchy, internalized misogyny, compulsive heterosexuality, and rape culture, it’s impossible for anyone-radfems-perceive-as-a-woman to truly consent to sex with anyone-radfems-perceive-as-a-man. their consent is always, automatically, coerced.

(my problem with the belief that misogymy/patriarchy makes giving consent impossible is that it invalidates the autonomy/free will of literally billions of people (I go into more detail here). talk about presumptuous! )

other issues with ‘only enthusiastic consent counts’: 

it invalidates sex workers who consent to sex for money without being enthusiastically interested in the sex

some people who are fully capable of giving consent cannot give ‘enthusiastic’ consent to sex for any number of reasons. claiming their consent doesn’t ‘count’ is invalidating.

unenthusiastic consent to sex is not automatically coerced consent to sex. (take it from somebody who’s been coerced but also consented without really Feeling Interested(tm). there’s a huge difference.)

it doesn’t actually protect people from feeling pressured into sex before they’re ready for it. in fact, it just creates pressure to pretend to be ‘enthusiastic’.

ANYWAY. 

I get where the concept of ‘enthusiastic sex’ is appealing: it feels like the perfect answer to pressure to have sex whether one is ready/interested or not b/c it’s ‘what you’re supposed to do’.  Plus: there’s certainly merit to telling people that their own feelings/desires should be a central/one of the most important deciding factors in whether or not one has sex (and using that as a shield against pressure to proceed). 

but the rhetoric around ‘enthusiastic consent’ leaves a lot to be desired, and pries open doors to buying radfem ideology.

[queeranarchism]

cw: mentions of sexual violence and csa

Sometimes I just wanna shake Tumblr and shout:

“None of you will ever be kidnapped by a stranger in a van and restrained with those hardware-store tie wraps. The idea that violent crimes by random people are anything other than super rare is known as the ‘Stranger Danger’ myth and it is old conservative propaganda to promote tough-on-crime policies and pit minorities against each other.

In almost all cases of sexual violence, including sexual violence against children, the victim knows their attacker very well. In almost all kidnapping cases, he kidnapper is a partner or a parent and no physical restraint is involved. Organized ‘sex trafficking rings’ that snatch random women from parking lots do not exist. Conservatives are distracting you from the fact that the main site of violence is the nuclear family and the only people who are at risk of being coerced into sex work are undocumented refugees and homeless teens. The cops and border guards that conservatives put forward as the saviors are maintaining those coercive situations and are statistically very likely to be the rapists and the abusers.

Stop reblogging those super shitty ‘reblog-to-save-a-life’ posts that reinforce the ‘Stranger Danger’ myth, they do far more harm then good. Focus on dismantling the patriarchy and rape culture and making it possible for children and teenagers to safely leave their parents instead.”

[ack3rlady]

In A Perfect World - Part 6.1

Summary: “And with that, I want to give you this ring that once belonged to my mother, with a promise that that you will never have to face this world alone.” Leaving you a series of letters to cope with his death, Erwin kept the promise he made to you…the implausible promise of forever and beyond. Concept inspired by the novel ‘P.S. I Love you’ by Cecelia Ahern.

Notes: Angst/Comfort, Fluff, Character death, Swearing, Spoilers for S3.

CW: Slight swearing, mutual pining, unrequited love, alcohol use, NSFW, fingering, tipsy sex (M/F) between consenting adults, friends-w-benefits, mentions of blood, death and injuries.

Minors & Ageless blogs – DNI.

Word Count: ~6.3k

Five | Six.1 | Six.2

Master List | Erwin Smith Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Tags: @sooibian @artistgoudeau @emmysmith @spiritusdei @unholymutt @ikeaisagod @red-n-tall ; Didn't tag any of the ageless blogs in my tag-list this time since there's NSFW content involved. Anyone who would like to be added/removed, please let me know!

Erwin’s Book

“I became a stranger to you ever since, unworthy of your slightest glance. We continued to coexist, spending most of our days training together, only this time, ignoring the other’s presence. Warm conversations and lively laughter were replaced by frigid silence, albeit it was a lenient comeuppance after how thoughtless I had been with your heart.

Many times, it happened so that my feet gravitated towards you, silently coercing me to apologize, to beg your forgiveness; but froze in their tracks when I couldn’t enunciate how sorry I felt. I dared to steal glimpses of you every once in a while, only to be met with your disregard and Hange’s searing glare. But even though the veil of indifference, it was never fury that I saw in your eyes.

It was grief. A deep sorrow that I was solely responsible for. You never once turned in my direction, consciously evading my gaze each time we crossed paths. Were you afraid to spot the agony I too was being suffocated by or was I so repulsive to you that you couldn’t even bring yourself to look at me?

After convincing myself that this was only the beginning of the solitary life that I had sentenced myself to live, I immersed myself in training and shadowing commander Shadis, sparing no effort to push every other feeling aside. But I don’t know what it was about you that kept drawing me back. The ghosts of that evening haunted me every night after the world fell asleep, flashes of your tearful eyes and quivering voice lulling me off to a hellish slumber that was plagued by the screams of others I lost.

But one day, a lone ray of light shone through the dark clouds that ceaselessly loomed over me, as we stood in formation at Shiganshina, waiting for wall Maria’s gate to rise. I gulped harshly to quell the rising bile in my stomach, clinks of the chains reverberating through the narrow streets of the town as the iron barriers slowly ascended. That foreboding sound, the smell of dirt in the air, that ominous sight of the rising gates being gaped at by a swarm of terrified soldiers, always heightened a sense of fright not just in me, but all of us.

I was so bold as to look in your direction, hoping to see you one last time before we charged, only to find your gaze already pinned on me. You swiftly looked away as soon as our eyes met, but that moment’s worth of affinity was a helping hand reaching down to pull me out of the abyss I had fallen into. Fully aware that you would never say it but just for those evanescent moments I believed that you silently asked me to stay alive; to come back home safely.

Months flew by and that very exchange before every expedition was all that remained between us. That fleeting glint was enough to calm my racing heart; like the mellow light of a candle – small, yet strong enough to light up a dark room. Maybe you didn’t loathe me as much as I thought you did. But I failed to deduce why even after persuading myself that we could never be together, I still craved for even the measliest crumbs of your attention.

Some of us, including you, Hange, and Miche got promoted to the position of Team Leaders. You began your term as captain Satō’s assistant in ODM training for new cadets and I started working closely with commander Shadis. This meant our schedules would change; insinuating that I would now see you occasionally, only ever catching sight of you outside the forest with your group of cadets or at the mess hall with Hange. But eventually, that ceased too.

It wasn’t until I brought it up with commander Shadis, that I became aware of your transfer to Stohess. You were going to collaborate with a team of engineers stationed there, on the gear you had helped design. Perfecting the equipment before mass manufacture wouldn’t be an easy task he said, showing me the contract of five years that you signed with the Garrison. The news was a kick to my gut, thrusting me back down the path that I had cumbrously laid off of. You left without a word?

Even though we hadn’t spoken in forever, my heart ached at this newfound distance between us. Did I miss my chance to apologize? Was it too late to repair what I broke? I thought about writing to you. Maybe I could put down on paper what I could never bring myself to say. I had the audacity to ask Hange about your whereabouts, only to be shot down instantaneously.

“If there was even an ounce of genuinity to how you felt about her, you will stay away.”, they demanded furiously. “You’ve done enough damage already. And if you make her shed another tear over you, I swear on the walls you will have never known a monster like me.”

Miche intervened to diffuse their rage, but also urged that this was for the best, reminding me that not seeing you before my eyes meant that I could dedicate all my time to my work – the reason why I did what I did in the first place. And as hard-hitting as the truth was, he was right.

But, I couldn’t determine what it was that kept me from entirely moving on, or why I felt so dejected when I myself was the one who pushed you away. I do know now that it was the fact that I was obliviously and woefully drowning in my own love for you.

Maybe this was the jolt I needed to finally set off on the path I laid for myself, and unknowingly, for you too. I wonder how things would be If you had not taken up that offer. You would have missed out on the opportunity to carve a name out for yourself in ODM technology. And I... maybe I wouldn’t be commander either.

I submerged myself in my duties, training, and research, striving night and day to get closer and closer to uncovering the truth behind my father’s words. But every expedition was a catastrophe, resulting in the loss of numerous precious lives each time we left the walls. Even after missions held as frequently as once every other month, we were getting nowhere, landing back on square one each time we returned.

As disheartening as it was for others, the failure only reinforced my strife as I began working on strategies for minimizing deaths on expeditions; to bring about a change in the techniques that every commander since the first one had been following mindlessly without question.

And after months of sleepless nights, more bloodshed, more defeats, my strategy of a long-range formation finally began to take shape. To aid with my inferences, I studied the behavior of titans during every expedition we were out on. But there was only one person who understood them better than I did.

Hange – someone who had made it crystal clear that wanted nothing to do with me ever since what happened between you and me.

I too was hesitant to approach them, given that the only interaction I had had with them in the past few years were the hostile glares they threw my way and when they almost slit my throat when I asked them about you. But we were both well aware that our duties came before everything and everyone else. So, we embarked on a collaboration, brainstorming together every day until they stormed out of the office the moment our designated time was up.

I have always held them in the highest regard because of how fiercely loyal of a friend they are to you. My father told me that some friendships run thicker than blood. And Hange was exactly that. Still is. The sibling you never had. They had your back then, and they have it now. Don’t tell them I admitted to this, but I have always been a little afraid of them. Although delightful and beautifully bizarre on the outside, only a few have witnessed their true fury. Unfortunately, I happen to be one of them.

Eventually, they began warming back up to me. I never really understood why, until I found out later that this change coincided with the time you moved on with your life. It wasn’t something that happened overnight, but at some point, I guess they decided to set aside their anger towards me when they knew you were happy again.

And after that, Hange, along with Miche, Moblit, and I became quite close, working together on most projects. Our dynamic improved so much that commander Shadis even assigned us close locations when out on expeditions, making our squads a few of the strongest and most sought-after ones. We began to spend time together after work too, visiting bars and markets, grooming our horses, taking occasional camping trips into the nearby forests.

Your name came up sometimes when Hange zealously blurted about a new letter they received from you, or when you met them briefly every time you visited the town for work. It was during one such instance, when I found out about the new man in your life.

They were promptly shushed down by Moblit and Miche, resulting in all three awkwardly gaping at me. Even to my own surprise, it didn’t hurt anymore. I had finally learned to live with this aspect of my life and I realized that I could be happy as long as you were. I was glad that I wasn’t as withdrawn as I usually would get upon hearing after you. I believed I had moved on as well; that was... until the day of your return.

It was the morning of 6th June, 843 when commander Shadis summoned me to his office and ordered me to gather a group of cadets to receive the batches of new ODM gear that were about to arrive from Stohess. Just the mention of the equipment from Stohess made my heart skip a beat, for it was a known fact around the headquarters that you had been sent there to work on it. If they were here, that would mean you were too.”

Your POV

You alighted from the carriage, stretching your joints with a groan after a long night of travel. Taking in a deep breath, you admired the stone building that stood before you, largely unchanged apart from a few new vines creeping up its walls. Many new faces moved in and out of the main entrance, some flashing you a smile and the others looking curiously at what the massive convoy of six carts and a carriage could have brought.

Your eyes were met with familiar blue ones when you whirled your stiffened neck to soothe it. Erwin seemed dazed when you smile sleepily at him, almost too frozen to return the gesture as five or six cadets around him scrambled to unload the new gear from the carts in front of your carriage. He turned to approach you, stopping in his tracks when the wind was knocked out of your lungs by a bone-crushing hug.

“I can’t believe you’re back!”, Hange squealed, dragging you inside the building carrying half your luggage as a flustered looking man helped with the rest.

“Hello! I’m Moblit.”, he smiled shyly from the back.

Throughout the numerous letters you exchanged with them while you were gone, they had written to you about him. They met Moblit Berner when he joined their research team shortly after your transfer. Their comradery had grown into friendship and for the first ever time, Hange was finding themselves falling for someone. It was nice to finally put a face to the many descriptions that you read about him. You squeaked out a hasty hello as he jogged to keep up with you and Hange.

The two accompanied you to your new quarters, a personal one for yourself with an adjoining bedroom, now that you were all squad leaders. It was compact, with no more furniture than basic requirements – A desk with a chair for you and two for visitors, two bookshelves and a small sofa in the office. A bed, one night stand, and a wardrobe in the room.

You spent the rest of the morning unpacking, reacquainting yourself with the familiar but strange building, meeting old comrades and new, and catching up on the many stories that Hange had to tell. A new headquarters was being built in Trost, two of your friends from training days had moved over to the garrison, some were lost during the many expeditions you missed, one got married and quit the corps, and finally the hottest piece of news that they couldn’t wait to tell you about -

“Miche has hopelessly fallen in love with his new squad member, Nanaba. I’ll introduce you both soon!”, they shrieked in excitement. “Oh! And Erwin is well on his path to becoming the next commander.”

“That's nice! Erwin always wanted to become commander ever since we started here. I’m glad he is successfully working his way up to it.”, Your heart fluttered at the mention of his name. “Do you think I have time to go see him? I couldn’t really talk to him earlier.”

“What? No reaction to Miche and Nanaba? I’m disappointed in you”, Hange grumbled. “And, no. We have a meeting in an hour about the next expedition. Go see him after that if you want. And let me warn you. If you go down that road again...”

“... I know, I know.”, you interrupted. “I won’t. I just want to mend the broken bridges, that’s all.”

“Fine.”, they narrowed their eyes. “But don’t come crying back to me if you get yourself hurt this time!”

.

.

.

“You okay?”, Erwin was startled by the sound of your voice.

“Not even remotely. Sometimes I wonder if Shadis’ pride is more important than our lives.”, he fretted, pinching the bridge of his nose in between his fingers. “I put in so much effort on this strategy. And I'm confident that it will work. But his obduracy is appalling.”

He wasn’t wrong. It hadn’t been long since you walked out of the meeting to discuss the forthcoming expedition. Losing people during your time outside the walls had become a tragic routine, brought about by a myriad of reasons. Everyone at the headquarters was striving to make a contribution by working on schemes to minimize these fatalities.

You had just returned from your posting at Stohess with a fresh batch of upgraded ODM equipment. Hange, along with Moblit led the research on analyzing titan behavior. Miche and other team leaders developed combat techniques that would improve human response at the time of an attack, and Erwin came up with a highly structured long-range formation strategy that took all our works into account.

While Shadis was reasonably receptive to others’ ideas, he was quick to reject Erwin’s, insisting that he apply them when he became commander. Usually, one to remain calm, Erwin had furiously walked out of the office when the meeting concluded. After spending some time looking for him, you finally found the way to his new office, its door left slightly ajar in haste.

“Chin up, Smith. Don’t give up just yet.”, you assured, toying with the paperweight on his desk. “Also, now you know for a fact that you’re going to be the next commander.”

He let out a breathy chuckle, looking visibly more relaxed than moments ago. The silence was filled by the chants of the cadets who had begun training with Miche in the courtyard that the window in his office overlooked. Minutes passed as you quietly walked over to stand by its sill, and he found himself regaining his composure, suddenly realizing that this was the first time you had spoken to him in years.

“How have you been?”, he asked from his chair, watching you sigh as you looked at the cadets sparring with each other.

“I’ve been good. Did a little bit of growing while I was gone.”, you turned to look back at him. “Erwin, I was hoping we could talk and I'll get straight to the point. I hated the way things were in between us when I left. And... it would make me very happy to start over.”

“Wait... So, you forgive me?”, he asked, a genuine surprise in his expression.

“I will when you apologize.”, you smirked.

“Yeah, I never got to apologize properly before. I meant to write, but I wasn’t sure if you’d want to hear from me. But, enough excuses...”, he spoke with a voice so soft. “I’m sorry, I hurt you. You deserve better; Someone who is not afraid to love you. Someone who will always put you first. It wasn’t me, but I’m glad you found him.”

Erwin was taken aback when you laughed, waiting for you to shed light on the reason with furrowed brows.

“Ren? I take it that Hange told you about him?”, you asked, he nodded. “Well, it was good with him while it lasted. It even escalated to the point where we were considering marriage. But he wanted me to leave the military after that and focus on raising a family. But I didn’t want to. So, we ended things since we couldn’t agree on a solution.”

Erwin gaped at you with furrowed brows, unable to say anything in response.

“What? I didn’t work my ass off all these years to retire after marriage. I’m sure he’ll find someone who loves him enough to do it. It wasn’t me.”, you smiled faintly at the similarities in your reasons to leave. “And now, just like you, I am happy to spend the rest of my life without the complication of love and commitment. That relationship only proved why we aren’t meant to fall in love when we live the life we do. We never know how long we have left. And I don’t want to die holding a grudge against you, Erwin. So, yes. I forgive you.”

You leaned over the sill for a while, peering at the cadets as they toiled under the summer sun, unaware of the pair of azure eyes that were still pinned to you. Erwin wondered what he did to deserve your graciousness. He couldn’t help but notice how different you were from the girl he used to know. He admired your strength, feeling slightly guilty for being one of the reasons why you had to toughen up in the first place.

But above all else, he was grateful to finally have closure over this aspect of his life. Many years had gone by, and he had still not forgiven himself for acting recklessly, for toying with your heart even though it was unintentional. He was young and wavered from his path.

Erwin was riddled with infinite questions every time he attempted to decipher what exactly his heart wanted. All his life, he had been the man who worked hard to find answers to questions that troubled him. But, no book, no novel, no scholar had the knowledge to solve this puzzle of why he could never truly part himself from you. He knew quite well that he had banished himself to a life of solitude, and yet what was this spark that lit up inside him at the mere thought of you?

On some nights, even years after you were gone, he was unable to get you off his mind, reliving the time he spent with you during your initial days at the headquarters. During especially difficult times, like after a failed expedition or a futile day of research, he found himself visiting the library, staring at that corner for hours at an end, wondering if he’d be feeling this dejected if he hadn't let you go.

On other days, he was convinced that he had made the right choice, that his promise to his father was the only thing that mattered. That the oath he took for his family was his only goal in this lifetime and that he wouldn’t let his father’s sacrifice be in vain.

But today, Erwin was grateful that you were back. If you asked, he probably wouldn’t be able to pinpoint a specific reason why your presence made him feel calm, even safe, like a weight on his chest was lifted. He couldn’t explain why he was breathing more freely ever since he saw you step out of that carriage. Or why he had smiled more just today than he did in the last whole week; despite that disaster of a meeting you had just walked out of.

Olive branches were extended, old rows were settled and new bonds established. The forthcoming year brought you closer together not just as comrades, but also as friends. The five of you vowed to make Survey corps a safer regiment regardless of the challenges it came with, to become skilled and powerful enough to find what lay out there.

Cold silence was once again filled with dynamic conversations and friendly banter. Stolen glances gave way to warm smiles, and turning away was replaced by cheerful waves. So, when Miche and Erwin inconspicuously disappeared one afternoon without informing either one of you, you knew there had to be something wrong.

Erwin’s Book

“Later that day, after we settled Levi, Furlan, and Isabel into their new accommodation, Miche suggested having a small gathering in his office to celebrate the nominal but crucial victory, inviting you, Hange, and Moblit to spend the evening with us. He unveiled some cigars that he purchased while we were at the capital and asked Moblit to uncover his secret collection of whiskey that he apparently saved only for special occasions. You and Hange brought over some baked potatoes and bread.

The three of you listened with wide eyes and slacked jaws as Miche dramatically narrated the happenings of the mission, leaving no stone unturned in portraying us to be the heroes out of a hyperbolized play. You were visibly astonished, gaping at me with wide eyes every time he recounted a particularly perilous occurrence, blowing it out completely out of proportion.

It didn’t take too long for the alcohol to play its role. Miche and Hange were blabbering messes in the span of just a couple of hours. The former couldn’t stop gushing about Nanaba, who he was now officially seeing, before eventually collapsing on the sofa, while the latter dragged Moblit away midway through the night to “attend to business”.

That left just you and me. Wasting no time, you went straight to scolding me about my precariousness. You were offended that I didn’t tell you about the mission before undertaking it. Something about you that still hasn’t changed in all the years that I’ve known you is how wonderfully adorable you look when you are furious. While you went on and on with your rant, all I could think about was to kiss you.

Although slightly tumultuous in the beginning, we picked up right where we left off, since conversations always came easily to us. I could talk to you for hours without getting tired. We lost track of time, bantering about the mission, your time at Stohess, even going far enough to joke about our erstwhile rife. It wasn’t until the clock chimed twice, that we realized how late it was.

As mammoth as the task was, we tucked Miche into bed together, sniggering like juveniles every time he mumbled something incomprehensible, before setting off towards our own quarters. The hallways glowed in an inky hue underneath the moonlight, lying deserted without a sign of life in sight except us. You held on to my hand to steady yourself as we walked, and I couldn’t help but sneak glances at your face. You looked happy in that moment; much happier than I had seen you in years.

In no time, we stood before the large doors of my office, the hushed laughter having died down. Your voice was a sweet melody to my ears when you breezily wished me good night, moving closer to kiss my cheek. My skin tingled where your lips touched me like a mere feather, where your icy fingers rested on my arm and your chest grazed against mine.

You were so close. Close enough that I could smell the whiskey on your tongue. Close enough that the huffs of air you breathed tickled my face, just like they did before; Close enough that the moon shone in your eyes, just like it did before. Close enough that I could count every crease on your lips, just like I could before.

In that moment, I was ready to forget everything and surrender myself to you, just like I did before. My mind refused to form coherent thoughts, just like it did the last time you were this near. All I could do was look into your eyes as I was thrust back in time, back to that corner in the library. Our corner.”

Your POV

“You should get some rest, Erwin.”, you spoke quietly, eyes still lost in the depth of his. “You’ve had a long day. I’ll see you at training tomorrow.”

It took every shred of strength in your body to walk away. Your chest was heavy, a sinking feeling in your stomach as you heard the door close behind you. The journey to your quarters was long and arduous even though it was only a few doors down the hall.

Your fingers wrapped around the cold brass knob of the door to your room, wrist too unyielding to turn it. The high from the whiskey was fast wearing off, your head suddenly beginning to feel heavy. You looked back at the closed door to Erwin’s quarters at the end of the hallway, a streak of dim yellow light emanating from the small gap beneath it.

And before you knew it, your feet involuntarily sped back in that direction without your mind understanding why. You barely had time to decipher the reason that was pulling you towards those large oak doors before you found yourself standing in front of them with an outstretched hand. As if clairvoyant, they opened before your knuckles could make contact with the polished surface, revealing an equally bewildered Erwin standing before you.

“I was just coming to - “, he began.

“Why didn’t you tell me about the mission?”, you blurted.

"I told you, it was confidential.”, he said, yanking himself out of his reverie. “Shadis didn't want to risk a leak.”

“But it was your own idea. Why didn’t you include me in it?”

“I agree, but-”, Erwin deliberated. “There were a lot of unknowns about the Underground. I didn’t want to risk your life if things didn’t go as per plan.”

“And what about yours?”

That question alone opened a thousand floodgates in his mind, bringing about a fierce inundation of thoughts. The alcohol didn’t help, only intensifying this surge of the wildfire that was suddenly ensnaring every part of him as he silently gaped at you.

What if he hadn't come back, died in the underground without so much as a goodbye? What would it be that flashed before his eyes if he were laying on the floor of some dark alley, breathing his last? Would it be his father and his words? Perhaps his sister who was his only blood relative left in this world. Or would it be your face? An innocent, oblivious smile adorning it, with no inkling that the last time you saw him was the last. Would your heartbreak when you heard that he hadn’t made it?

A white-hot fire burned in his chest as he gazed into your eyes with his turbulent blue ones whilst rummaging through his blanking head for words to say. Instead, he took a step closer, raising his hands to cradle the back of your neck before colliding into your lips with his own. Although taken aback at first, your arms instantaneously rose to slither over his chest, bunching the fabric of his white cotton shirt in between your fists. So much had changed, and yet remained the same as you hungrily tasted his lips once more.

“How drunk are you?”, he faltered, pulling away.

“Drunk enough to still know what I’m doing.”, you whispered. “... And you?”

“I just had two drinks.”

Without wasting another second, you pulled him flush against yourself, meeting his lips halfway again. And with a swipe of his tongue, he slipped into the warm cavern of your mouth, exploring it with fervor as he pulled you inside the room, closing the door and clicking the lock shut. Your hands wandered over each other’s bodies, peeling away the tan leather jackets to be discarded onto the wooden floor as your lips were still melded together.

You blindly walked where he took you, coming to a halt when you felt the edge of his desk against the back of your thighs. Erwin cascaded from your lips to your jawline, halting to suckle on your pulse. Feeling his strawberry tongue on the sensitive spot sent a shiver down your spine, making you arch your back into his body as your fingers clasped onto a fistful of his hair. You could feel his increasingly hardening bulge pressing into your stomach when he pulled away again; his lips plush and red, glossy eyes dark with lust, yet laced with concern.

“What does this mean for us?”, he breathed.

“It means that we go from being friends... to being friends who fuck.”, you panted.

“Fuck?”, Erwin blurted. “We’re fucking?”

“Only if you want to.”, you contemplated. “Do you?”

He shook his head, leaning forward to devour your lips again. Both your hands wandered south, hastily unbuttoning the other’s shirts and dropping them to the floor. They pooled around your legs and next to join the heap were your pants, carelessly discarded onto the dark oak slats without a second thought.

Erwin lifted you into his arms and carried you towards the bedroom adjoining his office; all while latching on to the column of your neck, leaving a string of rosy bruises down its length. The remnants of the fire he lit after returning earlier in the evening painted his room in a dull shade of orange. You parted from him shyly perusing his body from head to toe, witnessing this new aspect of him for the first ever time.

He left your side to walk towards the fireplace, tossing some firewood in. The flame grew gradually, now enveloping the room in a warmer amber radiance. The growing warmth calmed the blanket of goosebumps that had erupted all over your skin. The light danced off his unclothed form, casting splendid shadows on the chiseled stature as he walked back towards you.

The feeling was strange, yet it felt right. Your eyes roamed his bare figure towering over you, dipping from his handsome face to his rock-hard chest littered with honey hair and distant scars, the striking abs built over years of grueling training with a healed gash on the right, and finally down to his cock that stood proud, its head barely brushing against your naked stomach.

He too couldn’t believe how sublime you looked in that moment, standing before him in all your glory. The light from the fire illuminated you like a goddess who had ascended straight from the sun and right into his arms. He admired your legs and the way you pressed your thighs together, skin dark where the straps of your ODM sat; the gorgeous curves of your torso embellished by forgotten battle scars, the buttery skin of your breasts topped by a pair of bewitching, perky buds.

“You’re so beautiful.”, Erwin whispered, melding his lips with yours once again and bringing his hands up to cup your breasts.

You kissed him back earnestly, wrapping both your arms around his neck. He rolled your nipples in between his fingers, kneading the flesh of your bosom, smiling when you whimpered into his mouth. He backed away as soon as you laid on the bed, hovering over you wordlessly, his face riddled with an expression of unease.

“What’s on your mind?”, you asked, brushing your thumb over his cheek. “Do you want to stop?”

“No. But, I don’t want to hurt you again.”, his voice quavered.

“I’m not that naïve girl anymore, Erwin.”, you assured. “I know you want nothing more than friendship, and neither do I. This won’t change anything. We’ll still be friends. Just friends.”

“Just friends.”, he repeated taking a few moments to admire your features before plunging down to sink his teeth into the side of your neck, one of his hands snaking down to nestle in between your legs.

“Just... friends.”, you hissed at the collective feeling of pain and pleasure, digging your nails into the skin of his back.

Erwin kissed down the valley of your breasts, beginning his ministrations by slowly rubbing the pad of his thumb over your yearning clit. Two of his thick fingers explored your folds parting them and venturing dangerously close to your hole that was already dripping, coating themselves in the slick.

You gasped, your toes curling into the starchy sheets when one of them dipped inside, pumping in and out at a painfully slow pace. He hit your sweet spot without fail with each dip, watching you intently as you lay breathlessly with your eyes closed, biting your lower lip to stifle a moan.

“Just friends.”, he murmured before latching his mouth on to one of your mounds and swirling his tongue around its sensitive nub, squeezing the other one hard. He couldn’t help but smirk at the whimper you inadvertently let out, fascinated by how the smallest of his movements had you falling apart in his arms.

Speeding up his actions, he impaled you with a second finger, making your breath hitch at the abrupt fullness. He rhythmically scissored them in and out of you, preparing you for what was to come next.

“Just... Erwin! I’m so close.”, you panted, listening to the squelches of your own arousal reverberating through the room as he stopped at nothing to wreck your aching hole.

“I got you, friend.”, he whispered against your hardened nipple gleaming with his saliva, pressing a rascally emphasis on the last word.

“Fuck you, Er-”, before you could collect yourself to retort, your release struck you like a bolt of lightning, as you held on to his strong shoulders for dear life. You chanted his name like a prayer, feeling him slow down to allow you to ride out your high. Erwin rested his forehead against yours, patiently waiting for you to catch your breath.

“Well, that’s what I’m about to do.”, his voice was low and deep.

The weight on your chest suddenly vanished when he raised himself to tower over you. He smiled down upon your disordered form – hair tousled, eyes hooded, lips swollen, breasts heaving, cheeks a bright shade of fuchsia - and spread your legs apart to align himself with your opening.

He stroked his rigid cock with the same hand that was inside you, mere moments ago, dredging it in your juices. Hooking his arms underneath your knees, he folded you like a pliable parchment, basking in the view of your glistening petals just waiting for his arrival.

“Breathe.”, he whispered, waiting till he saw your chest rise and fall a few times before slowly sinking into you until he had bottomed out.

Your back arched and face screwed at the sweet sting, sheets scrunched in a tight grasp of your fists. He rested his arms on your either side and then leaned down, careful to keep the lower half of his body, still.

“You okay?”, he asked.

You nodded as you heaved, swiveling your hips as a muted sign for him to begin moving. And so, he did; slow and gentle at first before picking up the pace. Your whines were accompanied by his deep grunts, eyes squeezing shut as his member filled you to the brim and your pussy eagerly swallowed him whole. Erwin plummeted in and out of your ravaged hole at a ruthless speed while watching your face contorted in pleasure.

Your skin shimmered with sweat, strands of hair sticking to your forehead. He groaned into the crook of your neck as he came closer and closer to oblivion, the friction from his pelvic bone rubbing repeatedly against your swollen nub only hurling you towards your next. His movements got haggard as your walls began to clench around his cock, capturing it in a vice grip.

He let out a breathy moan as he felt your walls pulsate around him, a fresh gush of your arousal bathing his member when you came for the second time. Your fingernails burnt many crescents into his arms when you dug into them while repeatedly sobbing his name in ecstasy.

Erwin couldn’t hold on much longer, crumbling in your arms after a few more sloppy thrusts. He gazed into your eyes as he came, giving in without hesitance when you pulled him close to kiss him deeply. Once the rush had settled, he moved off of you and laid down by your side, staring at the austere ceiling.

“Just friends.”, he reminded himself.

“Just friends.”, you did too.

Just friends. You reiterated as you slowly watched his eyes flutter shut as you lay in bed together.

Just friends. You repeated while using your fingers to move a few strands of his disheveled hair away from his eyes.

Just Friends. You deliberated whilst dressing up in silence, sparing one last glance at his peacefully sleeping face when you left his room in the middle of the night.

“Just friends.” Erwin breathed, letting out a long, suffering sigh upon waking up alone in a dark room and a cold, empty bed.

Five | Six.1 | Six.2

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