#college!ellie williams

[totheblood]

i still hear you. (prologue)

PAIRING: post tlou2!ellie williams x reader

SUMMARY: ellie stumbles upon your self-run town after her life is destroyed, except there's more to this town then what meets the eye. and it seems like there is more to you too.

WARNINGS: 18+ mentions of death, grief, related subjects; cursing, mentions of drinking/drugs, mentions of s*x

A/N: i've been working on this one for a while... i hope you enjoy! please send asks, reblog, and reply to this post <;3

WORD COUNT: 3k

"i still hear you laughing, but only for a minute"

Spring couldn’t come fast enough for Ellie. 

The cold still nipped at the exposed skin on her hands, ghosting the phantom limbs of the two fingers she was now missing. Everything was cold. The tip of her nose, her ears, and most importantly her heart. As she wandered aimlessly, unsure of where to go, she knew there was one place she couldn’t go: home. 

Jackson was no longer a place for her. Joel was gone, Tommy thought she was weak, and Dina…Well, Dina wanted nothing to do with her. Dina had a lot she could blame Ellie for before Ellie left, but she never did. She stayed. And now, on top of all of that, Ellie had left one of the few people in her life who cared enough about her to stay. Spring could come tomorrow but it would forever be winter inside her. 

She didn’t know where she was going, but she knew she was going west. She couldn’t handle the harsh winters of the East Coast, and Wyoming stopped feeling like home before she left for Seattle. She thought about staying on the farm and living out whatever short life she was going to have there, but staying in that home painted with memories of “what ifs” would drive her crazy. 

So she packed enough supplies to last her a few months if she hunted her food and headed to the West Coast. The first few days were silent, she only encountered a few infected and found shelter in abandoned buildings. She lived off of expired food she found in vending machines in old universities and occasionally sang herself to sleep. 

On her tenth day, she found a car that lasted her about 2 days. Once it broke down, she just kept walking. Over abandoned highways and thick forests, she just kept walking. On day 17, she reached California and stumbled upon an eerily similar set of walls. It looked just like the gates at Jackson, except these were concrete and better built. They were much higher, and the gates almost looked… automatic. 

Ellie was hesitant. She didn’t know what she was looking for, but she definitely wasn’t looking for another hometown to destroy. She approached the large walls cautiously, with her hands up and slowly. As she walked closer she was screaming, “I come in peace,” over and over again. She was almost 50 feet near the gate when she heard a girl's voice shout, “Don’t come any closer.”

She stopped in her tracks as the automatic gates began to open. Ellie expected an army of people with guns blazing, just how it was when she first arrived at Jackson, but when the gates opened there just stood you, grounded in all your glory, and a gun aimed right at her face. She wanted to laugh, but that just seemed sexist. 

Instead, you pressed forward, unwavering, with your gun aimed right at her. She didn’t step backward, or even breathe, she just stood there until you were close enough to her to make out all the freckles on her face and the slit in her eyebrow. 

“Who are you?” you spat at her.

“Ellie,” she breathed out, her hands faltering a bit. 

With your hand firmly wrapped around the cold metal of the gun, you inched forward again, pulling back the slide, a metallic click echoing in the silence. The gun was loaded, and you were letting Ellie know that you weren’t afraid to shoot. Her hands stiffened again. 

“What are you doing here?” Your tone was tough and the look on your face was enough to send Ellie running for the hills, but it also made her want to crack a smile. Your nose scrunched up as you spoke, and your lips were somehow not chapped in this weather. But Ellie didn’t smile, she was sure if she did you would put one right between her eyes. That much she was sure of.

“I-” Ellie hadn’t thought this far. What was she doing here? “I’m just looking for a place to stay.” 

Your eyebrows creased as you gave her a once over, looking for any sign she was trouble. It was in your nature to search for danger, but she wasn’t raising any red flags. Except the fact that she made it here alone and unscathed, and was missing two fingers. 

“What happened to your hand?” you asked, tipping the gun slightly to her hand. A pained expression crossed her face, it was almost like she forgot that two of her fingers were quite literally bitten off, but that fight was somewhere shoved deep inside her mind. It wasn’t something she wanted to remember.

“Lost them in a fight,” she replied simply, there was no point in telling the full story. It’s not like you had the time. 

“You can’t stay here if you’re going to be trouble,” finally you put the gun down, resting your hands on your hips, giving her a firm look. Ellie would hand it to you, you were absolutely scary. In her mind, she knew she could take you, but she also wasn’t so sure of that.  

“I’m,” she sighed, lowering her hands slowly, “I’m done with that. I won’t be trouble,” and for the first time in Ellie’s life, she meant that. She was ready to start over. She knew the fighter in her would always be there, itching to come out but she had been fighting her whole life. It was time to give up. She had already lost everything. Or so she thought. 

Your face softened slightly before firming up again, your empathy peeking through like it always did. You looked her over again, sighing, as you signaled for someone at the gate to come. A man with short blonde hair trotted over, a leash in his hand. He looked kind as he offered a smile to Ellie.

“Old girl here is just gonna check to make sure you’re not infected,” he smiled, dropping the leash. Ellie’s heart rate picked up again as she watched the German Shepherd approach her slowly, sniffing around her as it circled her. You stood behind the blonde guy with your arms crossed across your chest. The dog found nothing and returned to the man, sitting down next to him, “Looks like you’re all clear!”

“Welcome to Mono City,” you deadpanned, rolling your eyes as you turned back towards the gate, walking in that direction. You were halfway there when you realized Ellie wasn’t moving. Turning on your heel again you stared at her, hand on your hip again. You had an attitude, Ellie thought, cute. “You coming or what?”

The small town sat on a large lake, glistening as the sun's rays bounced off the surface. Buildings were built close together, trees without leaves scattered on the walkway, and about a hundred people out on the street as she trailed behind you, earning dirty looks from half of them. Ellie scowled back. Ellie smiled when you introduced yourself to her, telling her your name and a few key details about yourself. She learned you served as some sort of mayor here, keeping everything in order, and that you were the person that people came to. She would be lying if she said that didn’t intimidate her. But all Ellie did was give you her name again and tell you that she was from Jackson, anything else she said would fall short. 

“How are you with your hands?” you asked, voice flat and simple. Ellie choked on her words, stuttering a response. 

“I’m, well,” she coughed, “I’m just okay with them now, since,” she shrugged gesturing to what she now called her ‘bad hand’, “you know.”

A wave of guilt crossed your face as you composed yourself, somehow already forgetting your previous interaction. You shook your head solemnly, cursing quietly under your breath as you stopped. 

“Shit,” you turned to her, eyes squeezed shut, “sorry, I’m so used to asking the same questions, I didn’t even think.”

“It’s fine don’t worry about it,” she gave a tight-lipped smile. Now, with the illumination of the buildings, she could see your whole face. You were pretty, that she was sure of, but it was a more down-to-earth pretty. A type of pretty that you had to take in. You had scars around your face, and a pretty big scar down the side of your neck. It almost looked like the one Ellie had on her arm. But still, scars and all, you were just nice to look at. 

“Well, just for that reason we probably won’t have you be on guard duty,” you stated, eyes flicking around her face, “do you have any other strengths?”

“Uhm,” Ellie had to think for a minute. She had never really been asked anything like this before. What were her strengths? Did she have any at all? She used to be good at guitar, but now she couldn’t play, and that probably wouldn’t be useful at all to anyone here. She was good at art still, something she couldn’t take for granted anymore. It was all she had. The scratched-out drawings of Dina, JJ, Jesse, and Joel were stuffed deep into her bag.

“I’m good at art,” she shrugged, “and writing, maybe.”

“Okay,” you smiled, showing off your teeth, making her warm a bit, “that we can work with. Maybe you can teach at the school.”

“You have a school here?” Ellie gawked. Jackson had a school but it was small and had maybe two or three teachers. 

“Yeah,” you turned to keep walking, making Ellie stumble behind you to keep up, “we have three. An elementary, middle, and high school.”

“Wow,” Ellie was in awe, “It’s not like a military school or anything?” 

“No,” you answered quickly, your voice tight, “It’s not like any of that shit. We don’t fuck with FEDRA here.”

Ellie would be lying if she said that wasn’t music to her ears.

“It’s just like a normal school except we teach a lot more practical things. Things we can use like, cooking, science, and English. Like reading or writing. Since you’re new you will probably start with the elementary school. We also have little extracurriculars and we’ve wanted to introduce art but haven’t been able to find anyone yet.”

“Oh, cool,” was all Ellie said as you both stumbled on what looked like a residential street. There were rows of houses, all that looked the same. There was a road, with cars parked on them and driveways with gates. Most of the houses looked about two stories tall, some had toys lying in the front yards and a few animals were roaming about, small cats and dogs. The porches had furniture on them, little couches and chairs, and as she walked she noticed some people outside with mugs in their hands as if they were drinking their morning coffee. The town looked like something she saw out of a movie, only something she could dream about. Her eyes were wide in awe as you rambled on about something but Ellie was honestly too entranced in everything. Here, in the middle of nowhere was a whole town of people living their lives, as if nothing had ever happened to them. 

“Ellie?” you stopped in your tracks, crossing your arms over your chest. There was your attitude again, “are you even listening?”

“Y-yeah, I am. It’s just-”

“A lot, I know,” you sighed, “but you gotta listen, there are a lot of rules here. Rules that make this place function and if you don’t follow them, you could easily be kicked out.”

“I’m sorry,” she apologized, genuinely meaning it, “I’m listening, promise.”

“It’s fine,” you gave her a fake smile, turning to push open a gate to a nice house, “This will be your place.”

“Uhm,” Ellie stopped, not entering the front yard, “what do you mean ‘my place’? This is far too big for me.”

“This is the only size our houses come in,” you replied matter-of-factly, “you can just say thank you.”

Ellie blinked as she looked up at the blue house, that looked like it was built yesterday. It had a wrap-around porch and two white columns right by the entrance. The door was a giant white door with a gold handle. This was nicer than any house she’s ever been in, and way too big for one girl.  

“Thank you,” Ellie replied, still awe-struck, “this is just so nice.”

“You’re welcome,” you smiled, fishing around in your bag for something. You pulled out a pair of keys, and handed them to her, “Here’s your house keys. You don’t get a car quite yet, that’s something you have to work your way up to, but there is a bike in the garage. Spring is around the corner so it will get warmer and you should have your car by next winter so don’t worry too much. My house is right across the block, but I’m usually in the City Center if you need me.”

She wrapped her right hand around the keys, tightening them in her palm. She watched as you searched through your bag again and pulled out a little device. 

“This is your walkie,” you took a deep breath, “Try to find me before using it. It’s usually only used for emergencies so just be mindful of that. I’ll be by tomorrow to take you to work, so you have time to get settled in today. Okay?”

“Okay,” Ellie smiled, her voice sounding a little bit breathless.

That night Ellie settled into her new home. Well, she tried to settle into her new home but kept shifting around in every seat and couch, like she couldn’t find something to get comfortable on. She examined every part of the house, picking the smallest room for herself and shoving her backpack in the closet. She took a bath for the first time in months, washing all the dirt and grime off of her. Left in the shower was a bar of soap that looked like it had been handmade and unused. It smelled so good she almost took a bite, but instead chose to use it how it was meant to be used.

As the sun began to set she stepped outside, watching the activity on the block and smiling to herself. Everything just seemed so normal, but with the state of this world this town was certainly abnormal. From her window she could see you in your front yard, feeding a pack of cats that slipped through your white picket fence. She smiled to herself as she watched one rub against your leg, and your gentle hand coming down to pet it. She continued to watch as kids passed your house, waving to you and running back to their homes. 

The next few days were uneventful. Ellie found herself getting used to teaching young kids, always laughing when they asked about her missing fingers. It was out of her comfort zone, but she was around JJ enough to know what kids liked. Her voice always got so high-pitched when she spoke to them, and they liked being chased around the room. On her fifth day of working, a kid ran in screaming, “Miss Ellie! Miss Ellie!” with a chicken scratch drawing of his family. He was so proud that all Ellie could say was “Good job, bud!” and ruffle his hair. He left with the biggest smile on his face.

But now, Ellie found herself at the city’s most popular bar, with the other teachers who wanted to congratulate her on her first week. Della, who invited Ellie out in the first place, made a toast to her, clinking her glass with Ellie’s and taking a long swig of her drink. Ellie took a sip of hers too and fuck, this shit was strong. 

She felt human again, laughing with people her age in a bar and old music playing. She was almost having a good time until a song came on that reminded her of Joel. It was like her whole demeanor changed and everyone could tell. She excused herself from the group finding a small corner to sit on and finish the rest of her drink, hoping maybe it would make her forget everything. But then, the bell at the front door rang making Ellie look up to see who had entered. 

There you were in all your glory, tight shirt on and hair completely loose. It almost looked as if you were wearing makeup. Ellie must’ve been staring too long because she blinked and you were standing in front of her. 

“See you got yourself a drink,” you laughed, voice making Ellie’s cheeks turn pink. She was… really drunk.

“Yeah, I could get you one too,” she slurred a bit, goofy smile spread across her face. She watched as something odd crossed your face and now she was worried she said something wrong, “I just mean, like.. you know… I mean like as a thank you.”

“Right,” you sighed.

“For my mansion, you know,” she shrugged and you giggled. You giggled and it went straight to her head. What was she doing?

“You haven’t been paid yet,” you smiled back at her, now moving to sit down, “and it’s okay, I don’t drink unless it’s a special occasion.”

“What? Meeting me is not special enough,” she teased, knocking her shoulder with yours. Her eyes scanned your face, your smile reaching your eyes as you giggled again. Her stomach sank again. She wasn’t so sure if this was just the alcohol anymore, she felt like she was 12 and crushing on Riley again. 

“No, it’s special,” you reassured, “Maybe, I’ll drink when you decide to stay.”

“Who said I’m not staying?” she questioned sitting up.

“Some people don’t,” you shrugged, smile fading. Ellie’s brain wanted to make it better, make you laugh again, or shit do anything to put the smile back on your face. 

“Well, I’m gonna,” she said gently, so only you could hear her, “I need to get my paycheck.”

You laughed and Ellie breathed a sigh of relief, laughing with you. 

“I’ll get that to you,” you smiled, “and we don’t use paychecks.”

“What’re you gonna pay me with?” she smirked, “I know some other ways you can pay me.” Then the same look from earlier crossed your face and she cursed quietly to herself, muttering an apology. 

“No, no,” you said, like you were about to let her down gently, “I just try not to get… involved with anyone since…” your voice trailed off.

“Since?” Ellie questioned, but as you opened your mouth to speak the group from earlier made their way over, noticing your arrival and screaming your name. She watched as you got up, hugged everyone and started chatting with them, leaving her with her drink and too many questions. 

There was one thing that scared her though. She knew you needed someone who could stay, and the only thing she was good at was leaving.

[3lli3l0v3r]

read part two here! series masterlist here!

currently thinking about how modern!ellie would be such a like “hallway crush” type…OKAY WAIT i have an idea, picture this: it's the first day of classes, and you're on your way to your university's astrophysics lecture hall and see her, walking briskly to her destination, with big black headphones (listening to divorced dad rock, of course) seemingly in her own world, not even aware of how cool she is in the moment. she passes you, walking only a little faster than you are, but it gives you time to check her out a bit. she's wearing some dark wash jeans and a flannel with a chunky jacket over top, her beat up bag slung over one shoulder(because shes just too kewl for skewl), and her signature worn black converse. as you follow her into the hall, (not being creepy, you're just on the same path. oh, seems like you're classmates too…oop!), she enters first, then holds the door for you as you file in behind her, looking back, meeting your eyes, and giving you a small nod as a greeting. (one of those that guys do, like when they tilt their chin up for a split-second as a bro greeting, UGH THE ENGLISH EXPLANATIONS ARE ESCAPING ME i do not know the ways of the men but yall have seen that nod thing they do, right?) that would happen in a fraction of a moment and you'd go to smile back at this beautiful stranger, but by the time you collect yourself she's already looking forward again. oh and then the two of you would part ways and sit on opposite sides of the room, however she'd still be on your mind…and whenever you cast glances her way, she'd seem interested in what the professor is talking about, but you'd then realize you're staring and bring your eyes back to your own laptop....

☆: hi, i have SO many ideas for drabbles and stuff but they rarely translate onto paper how I imagine them to go, but I'm sure that comes with time and practice, but for now take this silly idea I jotted down as it crossed my mind...I need her so bad, wish she was real 😔 (half hoping a situation like this happens to me LMAO...but crushes are too much stress....) BUTTTTT this drabble thingy got them creative juices flowing, and now im highly tempted to make a series or more parts to hallway crush ellie ...I say that every time but this idea's bouncing around in my skull and won't leave so who knows...

[ohcaptains]

don’t you dare fall in love. 

pairing. dealer college student! ellie williams x f! reader. 

synopsis. ellie tries her hardest not to mix business with pleasure. or, ellie gets a new customer and unfortunately falls in love with her.  warnings. 18+. drug dealing, references to anxiety, sexually explicit descriptions. eventual: smut, stalkerish behavior, violence, drunk/high kissing, homophobic behavior & slurs. 

an. trying my hand at dealer!ellie and it turned into a near eight thousand word fic. planning for this to be multi chap because i’m insane. please comment and reblog, it really makes the effort worth it<3 i hope u enjoy.

Mid-lecture, Ellie’s phone buzzes.

The girl next to her snaps to her in disgust, as if Ellie had smacked her with the device. The lecture hadn’t been all that interesting, anyway. Lord knows why this girl was so infuriated by a break from Johnathan Bailey’s spiel on eighteenth-century food prices.

Ellie hated this class. Professor Bailey had the innate ability to make History boring, when in High school, it had been one of Ellie’s favourite subjects. She was just thankful that she hadn’t picked it as her major, or she’d be gunning to change it.

Ellie leans forward towards the shared desk, and raises her eyebrows at the girl, as if to say, dude, before picking her phone up and unlocking it to a text from Dina.

Hey, expect a text from someone. I gave her your number.

As if on cue, the second phone she kept at the bottom of her bag buzzes. The girl shoots her another glare. Ellie chooses to ignore her. Glancing at the lecturer, she puts the phone under the desk and texts Dina back.

She cool?

Ellie only dealt to a select trustworthy few.

Three dots pop up, followed by: Yeah, she’s in my social studies class. She’s cool.

Then, almost immediately, another text, reading just: gay.

Ellie scoffs. The girl beside her flinches, and she nearly twists to her, asking what her problem is.

Thanks, she texts, deciding against it. She does glance up to the lecturer again, though, but he’s too busy talking about the famine to notice Ellie texting.

Not that it matters, she types.

Though, it sort of did. Ellie always had a weakness around pretty girls, which was incredibly bad for business. She always ended up with slashed prices and a broken heart. She wasn’t looking for new customers, especially pretty gay customers. Though Dina never usually did this, so she guesses the girl must be desperate. Ellie was a generous type. (Especially around pretty gay girls)

No? Dina responds, followed by a slew of side-eye emojis. Well, at least you’re supporting the community.

I supply to multiple communities Dina; my shop is very inclusive.

Whatever, she’s cute. And she’s single.

Ellie rolls her eyes, typing, Why don’t you get with her? and the three bubbles stay moving for a while, as Dina types and re-types her response. Finally, she settles on, Jesse and me are a thing again.

Ellie’s thumbs smash into the screen, When did that happen?

Last Ellie heard; they were on a break.

Last night, at the party you decided not to go to.

Dude, I had an essay to finish.

Whatever – anyway, this girl is cool, so be nice.

When the lecture ends, Ellie shrugs her laptop into her backpack, followed by a half-finished, bitten biro and her battered notebook. She slides the spare phone out, thumbing the smashed screen and slipping it into her back pocket. When she leaves the hall and starts walking through campus, she pulls the phone out.  

Hey! Dina gave me your number. She said I can buy from you?

Then, a minute later. Or we can go through Dina if you’re more comfy with that, idm !!!

Ellie sniffs a smile. She always preferred selling to girls – they were nicer than the gross frat boys she used to sell to. Even if she did grow attached. In first year, she used to sell out of her Dorm. Used to sell to anyone, really – nearly got caught by campus security. If it wasn’t for Dina stashing her shit, she’d probably still be in jail right now. Now, she kept a low profile.

She trusted Dina’s word – if she said a customer was cool, they were cool.

No, she types. This is cool. Who sold to you before? Then, or is this a first?

About a minute later, her phone buzzes again. No, you’re not my first lol.

Ellie scoffs a laugh, shaking her head at herself. She makes her way to the library, pushing her headphones on. Another buzz, Guy I used to use started getting weird.

She frowns, typing, From campus?  

Yeah :/ think he fell in love with me or something.

Ellie slots her ID over the gates of the library and pushes in.

Mindlessly, she types, Promise I won’t fall in love with you. Bad for business.

In the back of her head, she thinks, please don’t be really pretty and funny. Please don’t be really pretty and funny. She reaches her usual table – hidden away under a closed-off stairwell in a quiet subsection – and dumps her bag on the desk, pulling her jacket off. Her phone buzzes again.

Lol, please don’t. Too much hassle finding someone new to buy from. Everything was cool until he started putting love notes in the bags.

She’s typing immediately, Whaaaaaat?

She suddenly feels bad. This girl didn’t need another creepy dealer falling for her.

Yeah:/

Sorry that happened, that’s not cool.

Thank you:) Anyway, yeah – is it cool to pick up?

Ellie pauses. She chews on her bottom lip – a nervous habit she’s yet to break – and types, I don’t have anything with me.

:(

Pushing her lips together, Ellie thinks to herself. She comes to a quick conclusion, hoping and begging that it doesn’t blow up in her face.

You on campus? She asks.

Yeah.

Meet me at the library if u wanna.

Yeah? Three good?

She checks her watch – 1:30. Enough time to finish the history assignment she was procrastinating.

Yeah, she types, throwing her battered phone to the table before pulling out her laptop. The device buzzes again. She glances at it.

You’re a lifesaver<3

 At three, Ellie texts back.

Coming now, lmk when you’re there.

Already here:) on the benches. Pink backpack.  

Ellie spots the backpack, and then spots you. You’re sitting on the bench, leg over the over, and scrolling on your phone. Casual black pants cling to your legs, riding up your thighs, resting tight around your hips, where you’d haphazardly tucked in a blue loose tank. The arm holes are jagged, and as you move, Ellie sees the band of your black bra, and the smooth skin beneath.

She pauses in the doorway, getting a good look, but also getting in the way of a guy trying to get in.

“Dude—” he juts, and Ellie spits a curse, hands up in apology. When she turns back to you, you’re already looking at her. Curious eyes take her in. Down-turned brows, pursed lips, and you lick them, smoothing your hand over your knee. You scan her, trying to figure out if it's her, Ellie guesses, and she goes hot under your gaze, all too aware of her limbs as she walks towards you.

“Ellie?” you ask, squinting up at her. Your hand comes up to shield your eyes from the sun. Ellie ignores how cute you look with your features scrunched together. Professional, she tells herself.

God, she is pretty.  

She tries to look casual. Throws in a nonchalant shrug. “Yeah, that’s me. “ She nods to you, managing to school her features. “Dina didn’t tell me your name.” “Oh yeah,” you say, introducing yourself. You get up from the bench, slinging your bag over your shoulder. Ellie sees the baby blue water bottle peeking out of the side pocket. She registers that you’ve matched your water bottle to your outfit and decides it's best to ignore the resulting fizz in her belly.

As you move, she’s cloaked in a cloud of citrus. Jesus fuck okay. She breathes in deep through her nose, getting another whiff of your perfume. She steps back, trying to get away from the intoxicating scent. Jabs a thumb in the direction out of campus. Thinks, let's get this over with.

“I gotta go to my apartment to get it, you cool with that?”

You nod, seemingly agreeing, but she notices you picking at your nails. The air changes a little, humming with electricity as nerves suddenly wash off you. She doesn’t know why – she isn’t all that scary. Though, she guesses, she is when she’s trying to be serious. She unclenches her jaw.

She turns to go, but you don’t move. “Err, your apartment far?”

Ellie pauses, “Ten-minute walk.” You stay planted to the spot. She raises a brow, “Or we can meet later? If you’re more comfortable with that?”

You smile softly, thankful. Still, you shake your head – “No, got work to do. Kinda need it now.”

Ellie looks you over. Her eyes are curious – she takes in the anxious rubbing of your palms, and the chewing of your lip.

Her eyes turn to slits, and she nods to you.

“You okay?” “Yeah – “you burst suddenly, laughing. “Sorry. Um. Not trying to spook you, I’m not a cop.” “That’s what a cop would say.” “Yeah, figured you say that” you laugh, taking a shaky breath in. Ellie watches you splay your hands out, “I get anxious around due dates. Got a few soon, so need something to calm my nerves.”

A small smile plays on Ellie’s lips. “So not a cop then?” she jokes, and you lose that nervous frown for a split second. She watches your whole face change, and Ellie’s two seconds away from telling you where her stash is, just to permanently rid you of that anxious dip in your brow you once wore.

Whoa there, Ellie. She thinks, reigning herself in. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. She looks around, itching her neck, “Err, so what did you need?” “Just an eighth, I have my own skins and stuff. You got purple Kush?” “Yeah,” she nods, turning to leave, “follow me.”

You trail after her, catching up with a bounce.

The beginning of the walk is quiet. Not awkward, but not comfortable, either. Ellie’s too busy fighting the urge to glance down at you. When you finally leave Campus and get onto the main road, she turns to you.

“So, when’d you mean Dina?”

You glance up, startled out of a daydream. “Um,” you hum, thinking back. “Last year, at the LGBT society.”

Your eyes flick curiously to her, and Ellie wonders if Dina told you that she liked girls, too. She feels the sudden need to tell you.

“I went to a few of those meetings,” she tries to casually add, feeling her heart pick up speed, that familiar nerve of coming out swelling in her chest. Didn’t matter how many times she did it – pushing herself over that hill always made her palms sweat.

You smile softly, and Ellie tries to decipher it. Interested? Curious? She feels suddenly too close, like she should step away. She speeds up, and your arm brushes against hers as you catch up.

“Oh yeah?” you ask, this new shared thing dispelling your anxiety. You walk backwards, a little excited. Ellie likes this new bouncy you. You’re too pretty like this to waste time being anxious. You cock your head to the side, “Maybe we saw each other there.”

Ellie shakes her head. “I only went to a couple, plus if I saw you, I think I would have remembered.”

Your eyes widen an inch, mouth opening, features twisting in surprise. Ellie’s cheeks bloom red.  

“Fuck, sorry –,” she starts, shaking her head, “--that was inappropriate.” Your arm brushes against hers again as you move to walk beside her, and a metaphoric, cliché flicker shudders through her skin. You hitch your backpack up, “I’ll choose to believe you’re just very friendly.”

A laugh sparks out of her. She itches her forearm, and she notices your eyes flick down to her tattoo. ��So, err –“she starts, tugging her jacket back down, “Dina?” “Yeah. We met there and had a few classes together. Only really spoke properly this year. She’s cool.” “She is.” You smile, “Said you were cool, too.” Ellie nods, “I am, not as cool as her though.” “You two used to be a thing or?”

Ellie glances down at you. You put your hands up. “I get to ask something inappropriate after your comment.” She rolls her eyes, but burgundy silently agrees. “No – we didn’t. Nearly. But it was silly. Think we just figured that cause we were the only queer girls we knew that we should be together.” “Jesus, I know all about that.” “Yeah, confusing.” “Now she’s with Jesse, no?” “Yeah – back together. But we’ll see how long that lasts.”

Ellie hears herself. She snaps to you, “don’t tell her I said that.” You pull your lips into your mouth, smiling. Why did she say that? She loves Jesse and Dina together. 

The fuck is happening? Why is she vomiting the truth like you’ve put some sort of spell on her? She just found out your name, for Christ’s sake.

“So, you don’t go to any more meetings?” she quirks, squinting into the distance. “No, it fizzled out. When I went, everyone kinda knew each other, now it’s just freshmen. At first, I thought it would be an easy place to find a girlfriend, but—” you shrug, “—turns out they were already with each other.”

Ellie laughs softly, silently agreeing. She had thought the same at the beginning. Newly out after the hell of Highschool, she was ready to meet the girl of her dreams. Ended up getting the worse heartbreak of her life.

Well, second worse.

“So, no girlfriend?” You shake your head. “Too busy, anyway. As much as I’d love a cute girl to cuddle with at night, my plates kinda full at the moment.”

Ellie briefly imagines being the cute girl you cuddle with at night. She’s too busy thinking about it, that she nearly doesn’t hear you when you ask, “So, what’re you studying?”

Small talk, Ellie can do this.   “Physics.” Your eyes widen, “Physics? Christ.” “Yeah,” she laughs, knowing that would be the response. Ellie’s casual demeanour and tatted state didn’t really scream, Physics student with a minor in Astrophysics. Plus, she sold weed out of her apartment. Smart girls didn’t do that. Or they did, and Ellie wasn’t giving herself enough credit.

“But I have to take a lot of elective classes to keep my scholarship.” “Scholarship?” you ask, glancing at her. “Smart girl then.”

Ellie goes beat red. Her palms go tingly. You must be a mind reader.

“Er, I guess?” she manages. “Um – what about you? What’re you studying?”

Ellie listens to your spiel. She didn’t think finding out about someone’s academics would be so interesting, but Ellie hangs onto every word. Finds out you work at the campus bookshop, and she’s already planning her next trip. 

She watches your mannerisms, watches you speak with your hands – watches your smile build and change, face squinting from the Jackson sun.

When she gets to her apartment, she’s filled with sudden disappointment.

“This is me,” she signals, pulling out her key. “You want me to wait down here?” you ask politely. Ellie looks over her shoulder, shaking her head. “You’re good. I trust Dina.” “So, you trust me too, then?” you grin, winking, and Ellie’s so blinded by it that she misses the lock. She huffs a laugh, “funny girl.” “I know – “then you grin, teeth chewing on your bottom lip. “Cute, too.” Ellie chuckles, still trying to put the key in the goddamn lock. “Confident as well.” “Confident, polite,” you list, hands behind your back, bouncing from left to right. “Anxious?” Ellie jokes and your eyes widen, mouth open. “Hey!” you scoff. “Don’t make me give you a bad review.” “Wouldn’t want that—fuck sake, why can’t I…” “Need help?” “No, thank you. I can unlock my own door.”

Can she, though? Her hands are so sweaty that the key keeps on slipping. Finally, she unlocks it. “Fucking finally.”

She pushes the door open, motioning for you to walk in front of her. You pass by her with thanks, and Ellie watches the back of you as you start climbing the stairs.

What was it Dina said? Cute, cool, and single. Ellie’s add nice ass to the list.

Don’t be gross, Ellie, her subconscious suddenly sneers. She tries to look away. Eventually, she does, but you stop moving, and Ellie’s nearly colliding with it.

“Which floor is it?” you ask suddenly, turning over your shoulder. You glance down at her, and Ellie blinks up at you, cheeks red, hoping and begging you didn’t notice where her eyes just were.

“Er, two,” she mutters.

You carry on climbing. Ellie feels a little like a gross dude, and she spends the entire journey trying to rid herself of that sickly feeling. After a few minutes, you get to her apartment, and Ellie manages to unlock it on the first try. But when she opens the door, she panics. Her apartment is a state. She turns suddenly, meeting your confused eyes.

“Um, stay there, I gotta sort some shit out,” and she ducks behind the door. Your voice calls out from behind the door, “I’m not gonna judge, mines probably worse.”

Ellie starts throwing stuff around, hiding it under tables and in cupboards. Thankfully, her living room isn’t as bad as her bedroom.  

Ellie’s speaking. Doesn’t know what she’s saying until she’s said it, “that’s probably incorrect; your water bottle matches your outfit.” There’s a pause before you quirk, “You noticed that?”

Ellie pauses. She scrambles for an explanation, “Er, yeah. I have really good eyesight.” “Right.” “Yeah, twenty-twenty--“she throws an Overwatch plushie behind the sofa, finishing her sentence, “—vision.” Ellie yanks the door open. She finds you patiently leaning against the wall, playing with your nails. Your backpack is on the floor between your legs, and you curiously glance up at her.

“Done?” you ask politely, voice soft.

Ellie’s cool. Well, she likes to think so, anyway. Likes to think that she’s chill. Laid back. Cool as a cucumber. However, there is nothing chill about the sudden panic that blooms in her chest upon the mere idea of you walking into her apartment. Ellie nods, cool and chill and so laid back she’s boneless. “Yeah – just don’t look at the kitchen.” “Course,” you giggle. You sling your backpack over your shoulder and follow her in, arm unintentionally brushing across her chest. Ellie leans back, ignoring the weird warmth that buzzed from your touch. She closes the door, turning to find you standing in the middle of her living room, looking around.

“Um—” she starts, grabbing your attention. She walks towards the small hallway, rubbing her sweaty palms on her jeans. “--take a seat. Lemme –” and she jabs a thumb behind her. You nod, smiling – always with that soft, polite smile – as you plop down on her sofa.

Ellie basically runs away.

When she reaches her bedroom, she leans against her closed door, facing the ceiling. She takes a few rescue breaths. Suddenly warm, she shrugs off her jacket and dumps it on her bed as she fumbles for her secret stash. 

Just a girl. She mumbles to herself, looking through the pre-made bags. Just a girljustagirl, justagirl. 

She’s itching to call Dina. Pick up the phone and tell her that she can’t see you again. That she’s made a grave mistake. Actually, this isn’t gonna work out. You’re cute and all but. Ellie stops. She pinches the brim of her nose. That’s it. You’re just cute. Why’s she being so silly?

When she walks into the living room, you’re sitting snugly on her sofa, scrolling on your phone. Ellie wants to run away again.

You see her and lock your phone, smiling. “Hey.” “Hey – eighth, right? Purple kush? You don’t need it rolled?” “No – I’m okay. Thank you, though.” “Yeah, no worries.”

Immediately, you reach for your purse. Ellie realises that you have to pay. How the fuck has she forgotten the most important part of this whole deal?

She mentally smacks herself in the face.

“Dina didn’t tell me how much,” you smile, expectant. Ellie rattles off her prices, and you swap. She shoves the money into her back pocket and sees you opening your backpack. You pull out a medium-sized white case. Ellie thinks nothing of it – probably somewhere you store your weed, so your bag didn’t end up stinking of it.

But when you pop the box open and stuff the bag inside, she sees the faded imprint of Hello Kitty on the side.

“Oh my god,” she laughs, and you put your hand up, knowing exactly what she’s laughing at. “No judgement, okay? It does the job.” “No, it’s –” she rubs her chin, “it’s cute.” You make a face at her, “It is cute, actually.” “It’s sweet. I’m sorry I laughed.”

You push it into your bag and zip it up, throwing it on your back. You grin, and it’s God Damn adorable, “You’re forgiven.”

Ellie flicks her gaze to your mouth and slowly loses all sense of reality. There’s a moment where she registers that she has to say something, you know – speak. But watching the way your teeth tug at your bottom lip seems far more interesting, and useful, too.

“Um – I should,” you start, motioning behind you. “Yeah fuck, err,” Ellie stutters, snapping out of it. She laughs to dispel the nerves, and you’re both awkwardly laughing, flushed and nervous.

When you’re out of the door, Ellie watches you leave. She leans on the frame and finds herself fighting the urge to say something. Turns out she doesn’t have the energy to fight very hard.

“Better than the last guy?” she quirks, pulling her arms under her chest. You twist, beaming, “Oh – you have no idea. He dealt out the back of the cafeteria, smelt like old socks and cabbage.” Ellie frowns. “Mike?” she asks, knowing exactly who you were buying from. Your features widen in recognition, “Yeah! You know him?” “Yeah – he’s fucking weird. Creepy. Doesn’t surprise me he was leaving notes in the bags.” Ellie shakes her head, then nods to you. Her smile goes friendly. Twists into her cheek, “promise there’s no love notes in that bag, only weed.” You walk backwards, grinning. Suddenly, your features turn playful, and you chew on your bottom lip, squinting, “Awh, think I was kinda hoping for a love note.” Ellie's heart stops. Her eyes widen, and a rush of adrenaline hits her. She wonders if she heard you correctly, then yeah – you definitely said that. She goes to respond – reaches for something witty and cute to respond back with, but when she opens her mouth, no words come out. She manages to make a small, pitiful choke, and you giggle at her.

Ellie melts. “See ya,” you call out. Your voice echoes through the hallway as you descend.

The puddle that is Ellie rests in the frame for a second before she finds the willpower to scoop herself off of the floor and scramble inside, grabbing for her phone. Dina answers, voice groggy.

“Hello?” she groans, a serious attitude in her tone. Ellie ignores it -- doesn’t hear it, really. Too busy hearing the echo of your giggle as you turned her into soup. “Dina, what the fuck,” she spits.

The ghost of your perfume is still in her living room -- orange and grapefruit. “What?” Dina sneers. “You didn’t tell me she looked like that!” There’s a beat where Dina catches up, “Like what?” “Cute!” “Oh,” she pauses. “Wait, yeah I did.” “Yes but, like -- fuck.”

Ellie can’t think. She must have left some of her brain cells on the hallway floor. “Really cute,” she manages. She starts to spiral.

“She was really polite, too. Like, smiley and polite and was like, no worries! And I literally – I literally forgot that she had to pay, Dina. She pulled her purse out and was like, oh yeah.” “Jesus Christ.” “Then she started talking about her old dealer who was really weird—” “Yeah, Mike. She told me about the love notes.” “Yes! Yeah!” she nearly yells. “When she left, I jokingly went ‘don’t worry, there’s no love notes, only weed.’ And she fucking—” she smacks her forehead, “--fucking said, Awh, I was kinda hoping for a love note.”

There’s silence on the other line. Then a resounding, “Oh.” “Yes,” Ellie agrees. “Oh, exactly. I nearly pissed myself, Dina. I stood there, completely silent, staring at her like a weirdo. Please tell me she’s like that with everyone.” “No, she’s quite reserved, actually. Quiet – Ellie, what have you done to my sweet, innocent girl?”

Ellie paces in her living room. The speed makes your perfume swirl, and she has to open a window to think straight. The cool air hits her flushed face, settling her swarming nerves. She breathes in the fresh scent, heart rattling. Her fingers are numb.

“I’m having a gay panic attack and it’s all your fault.” Dina barks a laugh, saying, “If it’s that bad, just say you can’t deal to her anymore,” and Ellie’s silent. Contemplative. Dina knows exactly what she’s thinking. “But you won’t do that, because you’re basically in love with her already.” “Din, she had a Hello Kitty weed box. Like – “she closes her eyes, and whispers, “what the fuck?” Dina turns sarcastic, “Oh no, not the Hello Kitty weed box.” “Not funny, Dina. Really think she’s the love of my life.”

She plops onto the sofa. Dina speaks, “Should I start calling the U-Haul?” Ellie scoffs, “Shut up.” She fiddles with the fabric of her couch, running her fingers across the seams, and then slipping them between the cushions. She encounters something small and hard. “—the hell?” she mutters, pulling it out. She blinks at it. “Oh my god.” “What?”

Ellie holds the stick into the light, reading the bright label. “She left her lip-gloss here.” “Oh, would you look at that. She’s moving in already.”

The lip gloss sits on Ellie’s coffee table for days before she plucks up the courage to text you.

Holding the stick to a particularly clean part of her living room, she takes a snap of it, before sending it to you with, Hey, this yours? and throwing her phone at her sofa cushions, rushing into her bedroom as if it were a bomb.

When she thinks it’s safe to come out, it’s been an hour. 

She’s even managed to forget that she’s texted you, so when she picks her battered phone up and sees a response from you, she thinks, Oh my God, she’s made the first move. Disappointment and a tinge of shame flood her when she realises.

LOOOL, yes, that’s mine, you text, then, Imagine if it wasn’t.

Ellie goes to say, oh no, apart from Dina, you’re the only girl I’m dealing to, but it would be easier if she just wrote I AM SINGLE! on a flag and planted it outside her apartment.

She manages, lol.

Sorry, must have dropped it. Kay if I get it next time I pick up?

Ellie’s heart clenches. She has to start taking turns of her apartment like an Austen protagonist to stop herself from short-circuiting from energy overload. She texts, Yeah, that’s chill.

You sure you don’t want it? think that colour would suit you:)

Ellie smirks, more of a ChapStick girl.

I guessed that.

Her face twists, pausing. What does that mean? She responds.

I wasn’t trying to insult you!!! Just. The baggy clothes. Flannel shirt. Ellie’s texting, thumbs smashing as she responds with, It’s not flannel, just a shirt. Your three bubbles pop up, ohhhh right right, sorry sorry.

Ellie should have left it. Should have gone, well, that’ll be the extent of our flirty banter. But she’s writing, I can’t believe you’re calling me a chapstick lesbian rn. Your response is immediate, Nah uh, you said that! I implied it. No weed for you, Ellie lies. Nooooooo, pls don’t make me go back to Mike. Your own fault. Hope you like ravioli cause that’s what the cafeteria had for lunch! :((((((((( don’t be a meanie!!!!!

Okay, maybe you’re forgiven.

Weeks pass, and you come, and you go. Ellie tries to keep things casual. Professional. Still, she cannot help the excitement that floods when she gets a text from her busted phone.

Hey:) you’d text, I’m tryna buy tonight if you’re available!!

She reads into your messages, thinking, she must like me, she used two exclamation marks. Two!

She gets silly and dumb with it. Overthinks your interactions. Overthinks the brush of your fingers when you took your Lip-gloss from her.

Usually, she’d have the stuff ready at the door, but now she’s finding herself inviting you in, and then sorting the bag, so she could be around you longer.

She starts remembering your outfits, for fucks sake.

Holds onto every little comment you make.

Overthinks every time you brush past her, or every time she opens her front door to you.

Sometimes, she dreams about it -- just the revolving images of her door opening, revealing you behind it. You’re wearing the same bright, excitable smile, every time.

In a particularly low moment, she found herself in CVS at the perfume counter, smelling different samples, trying to figure out what scent you were wearing when you first met.

She doesn’t tell Dina that. She does, however, tell her everything else.  

When she sees you around campus, her day is immediately made. She doesn’t ignore you like she does with her other customers, no. She says hi. Sees you at a coffee shop, waiting for your order, and says, “Hey.”

You grin, genuine happiness on your face from seeing her. “Hey you.”

Ellie thinks about it for weeks. Dina hears about it for days.

“She said hey you, Dina.” “I know, Ellie. You told me yesterday.”

You’re polite, a little flirty, but Ellie thinks it’s just…no. She does think you like her, but she won’t let herself think it’s anything more than friendly. It’s just business.

Then she gets a text.

Ellie’s at Dina's, half watching a movie, half dozing off. 

Dina’s already asleep and has been for the last hour. She promised she wouldn’t, then was out like a light. Ellie’s nearly blacked out, too, and she’s about to pass out when the sound of her phone pinging makes her flinch. 

She’s groggy, so she’s slow to pull it out of her bag, but when she does, she’s wide awake.

She freezes like a deer in headlights. Then she snaps to Dina, needing to tell someone. She grabs her arm and shakes it violently. Her friend goes to smack her.

“Jesus Ellie! Get the fuck off of me!” Dina bats her hand away. Ellie grabs at her friend's palm, squeezing. “She texted!” she squeals, giggling like a schoolgirl. Dina yanks her hand away, “Okay, but you don’t have to abuse me.”

Saw you in the Library having a serious study sesh.

Then, wanted to say hi, but wasn’t sure if we were cool like that.

Ellie collapses back onto the sofa, “I’m gonna piss myself.” “Lemme see,” Dina goes, yanking the phone from her. She blinks at the busted screen. Her eyes widen.

“Oh fuck, Ellie,” Dina whispers. “This is the moment. This is the make-or-break moment.” “What do I say!” Ellie nearly shouts. Dina leans back on the sofa, pushing her black hair back. She shrugs, “depends on what you want.” “I want to curl up in a ball and live in her backpack is what I want.” “I dare you to text that.” “Dinnnnaaaaaa,” Ellie whines, falling back onto the cushions. Dina pushes Ellie’s feet away from her. “Elllllieeeee, you just pulled me from a deep sleep. My ability to flirt with girls is at a minus two right now.”

Ellie stares at the text. She drafts a response, and then edits it, taking out some prepositions and adding some dashes to sound more casual. She comes up with:

Hey, you shoulda said hi! It wasn’t all that serious – spent most of it watching old episodes of the x files.

Dina leans over. Her thick brow quirks. “That’s you flirting?” Ellie purses her lips, “No, this is me being friendly.” Dina pulls back, “I thought you wanted to fuck her,”

Ellie looks at her as if she’s silly. “Of course I want to fuck her, but I can’t just say that.”

“No, but you’ve just spoken about Aliens. My dick is limp right now.”

Ellie throws a pillow at her, “I’m gonna punch you in your limp dick.”

Ellie’s phone beeps. She scrambles to read, Oh my god, which season? I started it from the beginning again a couple of months ago.

The phone is brandished in Dina’s face.

“See – a common interest.” Dina huffs, “whatever, if you wanna go the whole slow burn route, that’s fine with me.”

Ellie sits back against the sofa, readying her thumbs to respond, before feeling a warm flutter of breath tickle her ear. She turns, and Dina’s right there, peering over her shoulder. She hides the phone.

“I can’t flirt with you watching me!”

“You just said you were being friendly!”

“I’m about to start flirting!”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” her friend sarcastically drags, “I didn’t hear the starter pistol to know the race was starting.”

“You’re an asshole, you know that?”

“Yeah, I know,” Dina sighs, resting her chin on Ellie’s shoulder. “But I’m also hilarious.”

We should hang out and watch it if you want, Ellie texts. Then, quickly, totally cool if u don’t wanna tho!

Dina hisses, “Fumbled the bag.” “I’m being nice.” “Yeah, too nice.” “It’s cute.” “It’s booorrrrringgg. Just write, Netflix and chill? With a winky face.” “X files isn’t on Netflix anymore.” “Not what I meant.” “I know, I’m choosing to ignore what you meant.”

Yeah, I’d be down:) lemme know a time, and I’ll be there.

Dina pulls back with a sigh, “The ball is in your court, Els.”

  Ellie doesn’t let you know a time.

In fact, she doesn’t respond at all. She gets busy with schoolwork, due dates, and her uncle, who’s visiting for a few weeks. She always means to respond, but days pass, and she thinks it would be awkward to message now.

Desperate, even.

The cracked screen of her busted phone mocks her. Ellie tries to draft a message, Hey, sorry for going quiet. Been busy.

But she deletes it. Thinks, she’s only being nice to me for a deal. Only wants to hang for free weed.

It’s happened before – it’s destined to happen again.

She’s so overwhelmed with these sudden self-deprecating thoughts, that she starts thinking them in her sleep.

You’re desperate, you’re needy. Why would she want you?

She goes somewhere dark. Cloudy. Starts getting restless but can’t sleep. Starts crashing during lectures, and seminars – in art class, brush still in hand.

One day, Dina grabs her shoulders, just message her. Why are you torturing yourself?

Ellie doesn’t text.

You text her.

Hey!! okay if I pick up?

But she’s asleep when it comes through.

She wakes, three hours later, with the keys of her laptop indented on her cheek. When she reads your test, she jerks up straight.

Yes! She writes, inhibitions suddenly gone with the wind. Soz, crashed mid-essay.

She stares at the message screen for a second, waiting for your response. When it doesn’t come, she locks her phone, rubs her face and gets up to get a drink. But when she stands, she pauses and taps her phone again. 

She even unlocks it, wondering if maybe your response didn’t reach her home screen yet.

The thing about Ellie is --she’s eager.

She pretends to be nonchalant about things. Pretends that the little grin you gave her at the coffee shop didn’t affect her, or the small, smiley faces in your texts don’t give her pause. She tries to convince herself that she doesn’t fall easily. With herself, she’s a little liar. With you, though…

She types if u went back to Mike I’ll die.

The whooshing sound of the text sending fills her ears, and then she pauses, realising what she’s said. “Jesus, Ellie,” she mumbles, shaking her head at herself. She locks her phone, dumps it on the table, and then drags herself into the kitchen.

You don’t respond for an hour. She’s making dinner when her phone buzzes, and she flinches like a startled animal. She manages to stir her pasta again a grand total of once before she reaches for her phone.

Would never!! I’m a loyal customer, would never cheat on u.

Ellie’s belly flips. She stares at your big watery eye filled emoji for far too long. You’re still texting.

Tho you didn’t text me about x files:(

Ellie’s thumbs smash into the screen, I’m sorry!!! classes picked up, I’m swamped.

Your response of, awh, okay. I was waiting near the phone for your message:( fills her with so much glee that it makes her sick. She’s about to write, you’re so fucking cute, when your message comes through.

Okay if I pick up now? No worries if ur doing something.

Ellie looks down at her baggy sweats and coffee-stained tank. She’s rushing into the bedroom to change as she texts, Nah, It’s chill. Lmk when ur here.

When she opens the door, you’re standing on her welcome mat, wearing a pretty, flowy summer dress.

She thanks the lord she changed.

Still in sweatpants – though, cleaner ones, -- she’s wearing her favourite top, the one that’s a little too tight, and sits just above the band of her trousers, showing a strip of muscular skin.

She was so nervous waiting for you to come, that she’d smoked beforehand. She’s got the familiar tingle in her limbs, but she’s pretty sure it’s from seeing you in this dress.

She gives you a quick once over, or at least, she thinks it’s quick, but when she glances back at you, you’re looking up at her with a raised brow. She flushes red and clears her throat.

“Hey – “she smiles, then nods to you, “--you look nice.”

Nice doesn’t cover it. She’s never seen so much skin. The dress is fitted, and it clutches your waist, sinching under your breasts. She looks at the bloom of your chest, then immediately glances away, trying to hide the flutter in her lower stomach.

You grin, “thank you,” and you splay your hands out at your waist, shaking them, as if to say, look at me!

Ellie nearly faints from the cuteness.

“Dinner party later,” you explain. “Right.” “Yeah – s’on the way.” She nods, lost in looking at you. You’ve got a splay of glitter in the corner of your eyes, making the bloom of colour pop. There’s shimmer and blush on your cheeks, too. Your lips are the colour of ripe cherries, and she wants nothing more than to lean in and taste.

She breaks out of her trance, shaking her head and widening her eyes at the floor, “right – er, fuck. Sorry.”  

You giggle at her, licking the corner of your lips. “s’okay.”

“I haven’t sorted your shit, gimmie a minute. Come in.”

You brush past her, and a cloud of sweetness follows you. Candyfloss, Ellie thinks, and apple.

She closes the door and turns to you. The dress is tight at your hips, too, bursting out over your thighs. You’re wearing a simple heeled sandal. Ellie stares at your lavender-painted toes.

You spin, dress swirling, “you should have told me you were cooking.” Her pasta simmers happily. “Oh no! it’s fine -- Making pasta, not really cooking.”

She shrugs, “This won’t take long anyway.”

Depends on how long I can drag it out for.

“Eighth, right?” she asks, walking towards her bedroom. When she turns over her shoulder to look for your answer, she swears she catches you looking at her ass. You glance up, caught. It’s her turn to raise her brows at you.

“Er, yeah,” you stutter, “You got any pre-rolled? My friends wanna smoke, too.”

She taps her hand against the doorway, thinking. “Ah, shit. No – I can roll it for you, though?” You nod, and she disappears into her room.

When she comes out, you’re stirring her pasta.

When Ellie was younger, people would talk.

They noticed her lack of boyfriends and her inclination towards girls. She’ll grow out of it, they said. Ellie had never seen her sexuality as something she could ‘grow’ out of. Years later, when she didn’t grow out of it, she started imagining what her life would look like. Imagined a wife and a house that would home her.

Imagined walking into her kitchen, and finding this very sight.

Ellie pauses. Catches herself in the daydream of resting behind you, placing her palms on your waist and kissing the back of your head – thanks for making dinner, baby.

“Oh, sorry,” you sheepishly apologise, grabbing her attention. “It was boiling over.” Ellie holds her palms up. “No argument from me.”

She pads to her coffee table, and sits down on the sofa, leaning over to start rolling for you. Seconds later, she looks up and catches you cracking pepper and salt into the pot. Jesus fucking Christ.

You pad around, dress swaying as you open cupboards, looking for something.  

When did you get so bold?

“You got any chilli flakes?” “Hm?” Ellie hums, a little dazed. You spin to her, your features anticipatory, “Chilli flakes.” “Oh, err. Yeah. In the bottom cupboard to the left.” The nervous tilt of your brow is back, but there’s a small smile there, too. “Can I put them in?”

Ellie opens her mouth in pause. You rush, “Just a bit, just a teensy bit. I’m telling you, it turns quick cook pasta into a gourmet meal.”

You can do whatever you want.

Ellie nods, not trusting her voice. You hurry around excitedly.

“What’re you putting it with?” “Just. Bought pasta sauce.” “Where is it?” “In the cupboard.”

You reach for it.

Ellie goes to tell you to stop, but fuck, she’s mid-fantasy now. She’s saying Honey, I’m home, and walking into the kitchen, finding you cooking for her in a pretty dress.

You leave the pan on the stove.

“Just heat the sauce, okay? I’ve put some herbs and spices in it.” Ellie feels cosy – feels taken care of. The feeling sits low in her belly, oozing into her bloodstream. “You didn’t have to do that.”

You shrug, near swaying towards her. Ellie’s making sure the roll-ups are neat and tidy looking -- taking her time for you.

“How much for the papers and your services?” you quirk. She glances at you from beneath her lashes, then drags her tongue over the paper, and swears she sees you follow the trail of her mouth. The high is there, pulsating in her veins.

“So professional,” she jokes, tone teasing, earning herself a giggle. You walk over, plopping yourself down on the carpet near her table, dress fanned out around you like a peacock. “I’m a professional lady.”

You reach for the bag, starting to roll one. Ellie watches you. Watches you lean over, breasts jostling as you reach.

“Helpful, too,” she comments, and you beam, smiling as you spread the weed over the paper.

Ellie wants nothing more than to see that smile forever.

She’s calm now, the weed she’d smoked making her bold. It gives her the courage to look at you, no holds barred. Her red-rimmed eyes flick over your soft features. 

The balmy air outside has caused a light sheen of sweat to build over your clavicle. A small bead of liquid slides down, and Ellie watches it descend, imagining reaching over and licking it off of you, tasting salt and the apple of your perfume.

Her body warms, tense with anticipation. She doesn’t snap out of it.

You’re too busy rolling to notice, but she does see you straighten your back, perking to attention.

“Um’ being serious,” you comment, consciously rubbing where she’s looking. Ellie catches your eyes.

“Consider making my dinner and seeing you in that pretty dress as payment.”

There’s that grin again. You beam at her, tongue gliding over the paper, and fuck, Ellie’s chest clenches. Her lower belly pulsates, pushing lower. “Does this dress also get me a discount?” you quirk. Yes, Ellie thinks. Fuck, do that again and you can get this shit for free. But she manages to catch herself. “Don’t push it, babe.”

Your smile twists, suddenly a little flustered. Ellie hears the echo of the endearment in her ears. If she wasn’t high, she probably wouldn’t have said that. Still, the word fits on her lips, and it seems that you like it as you reach up to nervously itch your shoulder. You shrug at her, the movement pushing your tits together, “can’t blame a girl for trying.” “No,” Ellie grins, and she catches your eyes. “I can’t.”

Ellie ends up giving you the discount anyway. There’s a voice in the back of her head saying, told you so. But then she’s seeing the knife and fork you left out for her on her countertop. Sees the napkin you folded, then rested on top of a plate.

Wife, she thinks. Wife wife wife.

“Thanks for this,” you smile, putting the roll-ups in your case. Ellie does not look at your tits. She does not look at your tits. Instead, she shrugs, “thanks for cooking for me.” Your smile coils into your cheek, warm and inviting, “Any time.”

When you leave, Ellie leans her head against her closed door, the wood cooling her warm body. Her stomach clenches. The ache that built there holds strong, and there’s a funny fuzz in her head, drunk on the remaining perfume that lingers in her living room.

She reaches down, mindlessly sliding her hand between her thighs. Her nerves spike, causing a shudder of breath to shake through her.

“Fuck sake, Ellie,” she groans. She clenches her fingers tighter, pushing up into the warm ache, and finds herself whispering your name.

She starts to realise why your old dealer fell in love with you.

PART TWO. 

[justkindalivin]

Roommate trouble

summary: Your roommate Jesse and his girlfriend Dina fuck..a lot. loudly. When you finally get fed up after being woken up by their nightly “activities”, you go to Dina’s dorm for some peace and quiet only to run into her roommate, Ellie. 

warnings: Smut (18+ PLZ), Language, modern!au, college!au, making out, thigh riding, fingering (r rec), oral (r rec), dom!ellie, teasing, sub!reader, not edited well (I can’t think of anything else but lmk if you find something I forgot!)  

wc: 2.7k 

an: HEY YALL!! It's been a hot minute, sorry about that! The shotgun series is still ongoing but this idea popped into my head and I just had to write it. I tried to activate my asks or whatever but I’m still kinda new to how tumblr works haha. I wanna meet people in the TLOU community and make friends so come say hi!! Anyhoo I hope you guys enjoy, have a great day I love you ♡ - Lottie

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You loved Jesse, you really did. Starting from move-in day, you guys did everything together, knew everything about each other, and he quickly became your absolute best friend. When he first introduced you to Dina, a girl he met during orientation, you were so happy he found someone as sweet and open as she was. She always greeted you with a hug and smile, even going as far as inviting you to hang out with her and Jesse on whatever date they had planned. Eventually, you and Dina also got very close, going on your own little “friend dates” as she called them where you would go to dinner or just watch a movie. You always joked that if she ever got tired of Jesse all she had to do was say the word and you would sweep her off her feet. As much as you loved them though, there was one thing about them that you couldn’t stand. They fucked like rabbits. Literally 24/7. You actually didn’t even know it was medically possible for two people to get it on this much. You come home from a class and boom- they’re in your dorm going at it. Trying to take a nap in your room? Think again, here comes Jesse and Dina tearing off each other's clothes. You tried to be cool about it at first because you didn’t want to seem bitchy, but you were quickly reaching your limit. And tonight was the night you lost it 

-------

You had a long fucking day, filled with back-to-back classes that seemed to last an eternity and mountains of homework that took you hours in the library to complete. Practically as soon as you got to your dorm and your head hit the pillow you passed out, which is probably why you didn't hear Jesse and Dina come home. What you did hear, however, was a weird grating creaking noise that roused you from sleep. Blinking the blurriness from your eyes, you start to come to your surroundings. The creaking started to get louder and as you become more and more awake, you begin to notice soft moans and grunts coming from the direction of the creaking... - NO. FUCKING. WAY. 

“You little fuck gremlins, you’re unbelievable!!!” You exclaim, hucking your pillow in their general direction. The sound of a startled grunt and scrambling from Jesse’s bed fills your ears as they try to cover themselves up, and finally, you turn your bedside lamp on to glare at them. Both of them sit on his bed, messily wrapped in blankets with a light pink dusting on their cheeks, chests heaving as they try to catch their breath. At least Dina looks apologetic, Jesse just looks annoyed you interrupted them. 

“I’m so sorry, I-” Dina starts apologizing, but you hold up your hand to stop her. 

“Jesse, you're like a brother to me and I love you, but I can’t deal with you right now. Like, just give me a heads up when you two are gonna fuck and I’ll leave, this is traumatizing.” Jesse slightly rolls his eyes but nods, and you can tell he does actually feel bad that they woke you. “and Dina, just give me a chance I’d treat you so right, just say the word. You’ve done nothing wrong ever, and I love you.” 

Jesse shakes his head, throwing his hands up indignantly “Why do I get scolded like a toddler and Dina gets hit on?!? Where’s the justice?”. You shut him up with a glare, then focus back on Dina.

“Dina, where is your dorm and would your roommate mind me staying there? Y’all can finish what you started but I’m getting tf up outta here.” After getting the building name and room number, you quickly pack a small go bag with essentials, wrap a blanket over your shoulders, and begin to trudge across campus to Dina’s building. About halfway there you think about how crazy you’re going to look to her roommate, a girl you’ve never met before but Dina had mentioned in passing a few times. The only thing you knew about her was that her name was Ellie and she was an astronomy major. Fuck, what were you even going to say when you got there?? Hey! Our roommates were having a fuck fest in my room, mind if we have a sleepover? You spent the rest of the walk overthinking and trying to come up with something to say when you saw her until eventually, you found yourself on their floor. Wandering down the hallway, you finally stumble on a light wooden door that was decorated with colorful bits of paper cut into the shape of mushrooms that held both Dina and Ellie’s names. Keeping in mind the mini script you made of what to say when you were walking over, you take a deep breath and raise your hand to knock on the door.

After a moment of silence, clattering and distant swearing come from the other side of the door before it swings open. Your mouth goes dry, all the words you had rehearsed flying out the window as you take in Ellie for the first time. Her short auburn hair falls messily around her freckled face and as she lifts her hand up to rub the sleep from her eyes, you catch a glimpse of a tattoo on her forearm. Wearing just a white cotton tank top and black boxers, it was clear that she had been sleeping peacefully before your rude awakening. As you continue to check her out, you’re startled when her voice cuts through the quiet of the hallway.

“Dude, I was sleeping. The fuck do you want?” Ellie’s voice is still thick with sleep as her gaze falls on you. Oh shit, she must think you’re so creepy, just some rando waking her up in the middle of the night and then staring at her. You hastily blurt out your name trying to seem like less of a weirdo in front of Dina’s smoking-hot roommate

“Dina and Jesse woke me up with their... sex stuff? And they go at it all the time and I was kinda fed up so I asked Dina if I could sleep in her bed for tonight and she said yes so... now I'm here and-” Your awkward rambling was cut short by Ellie bursting out laughing, doubling over to clutch her stomach.

“No way dude that's fucking heinous! You poor thing get in here.” With that, Ellie grabs your arm and pulls you into the room, her hand finding the small of your back as she guides you in. “Welcome to our humble abode, that's Dina’s side so you can just dump your shit over there, and that's her bed.” She says, gesturing to the left side of the room. Shoving your backpack to the ground, you make your way to Dina’s bed, observing the room as you go. Ellie’s side is filled with drawings and posters, as well as a guitar that leans up against her bed rail. Pictures also litter the walls, some of her and Dina, some of her other friends, and a few of her with an older man you assume is her dad. Suddenly feeling the night catch up to you, a huge yawn leaves your lips and you crawl into Dina’s bed, letting your eyes fall closed.

“It's nice to finally meet you, Dina talks about you all the time. She didn’t tell me you were pretty though”. Your eyes fly open and you can feel your cheeks growing warm at the compliment. 

“Dina talks about you too. It's weird we’ve never met before, Dina always said I would like you” You reply, rolling over to face her to see that she was already looking at you. 

“Listen any time those two are annoying you, come over here. You’re always welcome” she tells you, a wide smile stretching across her face

“Thanks, Ellie”

“No problem pretty girl”

-------

“Ellie they’re doing it again!! They were literally eye fucking all over the room so I made my escape before my vision got assaulted. Again.” You yell, bursting into Ellie's room without so much as a knock. On that first night you stayed in Dina’s dorm, the two of you talked for hours, only stopping once daylight began to leak through the curtains on the windows. She talked about her adopted dad, Joel, what she wanted to do with her life, and her love of dinosaurs. With each word, you found yourself more and more enamored with her. You’d never met anyone like Ellie and from that day on you guys were close friends. Well... you don’t know if friends is the way to describe it. Ellie was almost always touching you, from wrapping an arm around your waist when you were walking together to pulling you down onto her lab when there was not enough room on the couch. At parties, she’d keep close to you, warding off creepy men with a snarl and her arm around your shoulders. You’d both shared countless kisses, some light and playful, others deep and passionate. There was something unspoken between the two of you, you saw it in the way she looked at you, the way she was protective over you like no one else in your life has ever been. You’d never labeled what you and Ellie had, too scared that if you talked about it, she’d get so weirded out by you reading too much into it that she would leave. 

“I keep telling you babe, set boundaries with them. As much as I love having your gorgeous face here, you gotta tell them when you need the room.”

That was the other thing, the nicknames she gave you. You don’t think Ellie has called you by your name once since the night you met. It's always pretty girl, gorgeous, or your personal favorite, babe. Wandering over to where Ellie sat on the edge of her bed, tuning her guitar, you flop face down next to her. Hearing her place the guitar down with a dramatic sigh, you feel Ellie’s body moving toward where you lay on the bed. Rough hands grasp your waist, rolling you until you’re laying on your back. Ellie kneels over you, one hand stroking the skin of your waist while the other glides up the side of your body to brush your hair out of your eyes. 

“I’ll beat the shit out of Jesse, will that help?” She offers, only half joking, earning a small giggle from you as she smiles. 

“My hero” You joke, hand rising to cup the side of her face and squeeze the flesh there. “You don’t have to, I just have to stop being a pussy and tell them. Maybe we can make a schedule or something, I don't know.”

“Oo a fucking schedule, how romantic. I’m sure they’ll love that” She teases and you shove her away from you playfully. Before you can fully shove her away, she grips your arm, using the momentum to pull you onto her lap. Her back leans against the wall and she picks you up slightly by your hips so that she can slide her thigh between your legs. 

“Shut up I’m trying okay?” You giggle raising your hand to push her once again. This time though, she catches it and laces your fingers together. Your chest rises and falls rapidly as you try to catch your breath from being WWE slammed into a cuddle session and you could have sworn you catch Ellie’s eyes flutter between your own and your chest. Did you wear a low-cut tank top and booty shorts on purpose?... maybe. Was it working? Hell yes. 

When Ellie finally looks up from your chest, you raise an eyebrow mockingly at her and her face immediately flushes a dark red. You laugh as she averts her gaze and clears her throat, leaning down to rest your head in the crook of her neck. Her hands migrate to rub your back, moving the fabric of your shirt to rub soothing circles on your soft skin. From her neck you try to sneak a look at her face, only to find that her eyes are already locked on you. With a small smile, you once again bring your hand up to cup her face, this time just caressing the skin there instead of pinching. Ellie removes her hands from your back and uses them to grab the hair at the base of your neck, bringing your head up to face her. After only a brief look from your eyes to your lips, Ellie surges forward and meets your lips in a searing kiss. 

She bites down on your lower lip playfully, taking advantage of the small gasp you let out to explore your mouth. Without realizing it, you begin to grind on Ellie’s thigh, desperate for friction. You only register you’re doing it when Ellie brings her hand down to grope your ass, forcing you further down on her thigh and quickening your pace. You break the kiss with a soft moan, getting lost in the pleasure until suddenly you find yourself on your back. Ellie slots her body fully over yours, eyeing you up and down with flush cheeks.

“Fuck, babe you’re so fucking beautiful.” She says, tracing her hand along the waistband of your shorts, toying with the fabric. 

“Please Ellie” You whimper, practically writhing under her despite the fact that she's barely done anything yet 

“Please what pretty girl? Use your words.” 

“Touch me, Ellie, please! I-I need you!” You cry out and with a smug smirk, she slides her fingers under your waistband and between your folds

“It's okay baby shh, I got you. Fuck you’re so wet, is all this for me, gorgeous?” All you can do is nod pitifully as her fingers sink into you, a harsh moan tearing from your lips. Her fingers slide easily in and out, your slick walls clenching around her as her face moves to suck marks onto your neck. The pleasure is too much, clenching your eyes shut all you can focus on is the rough pounding of her fingers within you. 

“Fuck, Ellie.. feels so good f-fuck” You incoherently babble as she curls her fingers, hitting your sweet spot and making your vision go dark. Your orgasm crashes over you like a wave, your whole body clenching and shaking around Ellie’s fingers as she praises you. 

“That's it pretty, you did so good for me. You’re so fucking hot, babe.” Ellie removes her fingers and immediately puts them in her mouth, sucking off your slick with a contented moan. “Fucking delicious, will you let me taste more baby? Please?”. Not finding yourself able to speak yet, all you can do is nod and Ellie wastes no time. Clambering off the bed, Ellie grabs your thighs and pulls you to the edge, kneeling before you now bare core. Throwing your legs over her shoulders, Ellie dives in, attaching her lips to your swollen clit with a harsh suck. You loudly cry out, hands flying to the back of her head as her tongue begins to rapidly lick and suck all over. You feel your orgasm approaching more quickly than before and you unconsciously begin to grind down on Ellie's face to chase your release. However, your trance is interrupted by a loud shriek

“OH MY GOD! What the fuck guys, what are you doing?!?!” Dina yells from the now open door, shielding her eyes with her hand. You scramble to cover yourself with Ellie's comforter as the woman herself lets out an annoyed groan.

“Is this what it feels like!?! Jesus, it's like walking in on your parents. I’m so sorry, I’ll come back later!” Dina rushes out and slams the door behind her, leaving you and Ellie alone once again. After a moment of silence, Ellie starts to laugh

“Well, at least she knows what it's like now. I doubt they’ll be causing you problems again.” She says between her giggles, grabbing a pair of her boxers to dress you in. You shake off your embarrassment and begin to laugh as well, taking Ellie's hand and tugging her into bed with you. As Ellie wraps you in her arms, you can’t help but think you might have to thank Jesse and Dina for being such sex maniacs.

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an: I love you guys so much, thank you for all the comments, likes and reblogs on my previous posts. Let me know if you guys can access my asks, I wanna get to know yall!! this is my first time writing smut, yall can probably tell LMAO but all feedback is appreciated  ☺︎ 

[itsbecomeblue]

glue 001 ellie williams imagine

don't dare forget about palestine

sinopse: you might have a crush on your friend, college!au

cw: swearing, basically fluff, ellie plays soccer, puppy love again because that's my thing, slightly nerdy loser!ellie, reader and ellie are oblivious, not explicit if reader is fem or masc, not exactly proofread.

it was a nice day, the sun gently hitting your face after a week of chilly wind and winter complaints from everyone. you were leaving your last morning class. you walked happily towards the college cafeteria, a thing that no one was ever happy to do. you feel hot on your back, your black jacket heating from the sun but you refuse to take it off and feel the chilly wind.

everything was going as smoothly as it could today. you had worries but the sun was nice and warm on your skin… as you walked you saw her. you saw ellie williams, and like this day, she was golden. a golden soccer player, the best player in your opinion, that's for sure. she walked over to you, that wasn't unusual.

“hey, sup?” she nudged your shoulder to catch your attention, unaware she already had all of it.

she had big green piercing eyes below her eyebrow slit and. you stared for a bit, that wasn't unusual either. she had a mid-sleeve blue shirt that left her tattoo slightly covered. she just waited for you to talk, as she always did, looking down and fidgeting with her fingers. you walked side by side.

“cafeteria?” you point towards the way to the cafeteria, the one you and ellie had been taking for a month now . she hums in agreement.

you met ellie in this same situation, her in front of you, the last ones in the line at the cafeteria. a guy, jesse, walked over to her, jumping the line. she called him out with a few chuckles and he apologized, telling you he just wanted to talk to her. she asked you to sit with her that day.

now, you're in the same line. her in front of you and no jesse to jump the line, but you're gonna sit with her again. the food was not appealing, but the company was great. that was something you and ellie agreed on but kept unspoken.

she's waiting for you to finish putting your food on the tray, so you can walk to the table. ellie looks at you over her shoulder and as soon as you're next to her she's sticking her hand out to your arm, you flinch slightly. ellie was more touchy than you.

“you're quiet.” she fixes your school bag's strap on your shoulder, her tattoo peeking out of her navy sleeve. her cold fingers touch a little of your collar.

“yeah?” you shrugged. “so are you anyway.” she took a breath and shrugged too, sitting down at the right corner table. that wasn't unusual at all.

“do you have any projects coming up?” ellie says as she sits down, she brushes a strand of her hair out of her face. you nod and she hums. “knew it. ya need any help?”

ellie was always the friend to help out in any way, she felt good doing it and she wanted her friends to succeed so if she could help, she would in a heartbeat.

“you wanna help me?” your pupils dilated and ellie noticed.

“no…i mean, yeah i do. you know i do.” she shook her head no, then nodded yes. she's a rambling mess and you just stare and it's making her stumble over her words. “come over after my practice.”

“‘kay.” you try to hold back a smile and you look at your food, the sun is warm and so are you. you thanked god she asked you to come over for a study sesh. you'd take any opportunity to see her and she'd always ask.

ellie was somewhat popular for playing on the soccer team. you had a separate friend group but sometimes people meet randomly and they just click. like you and ellie. you had met jesse when you met ellie, and you eventually met dina and ellie met your roommate but you never really hung out with other people.

you had been friends for a while, lunches in the cafeteria, study sessions, and dorm visits were what your friendship was about and you took every opportunity to see each other. you were getting ready to leave when niyah, your roommate and closest friend spoke out.

“you going to ellie's?” you smile in that certain way and niyah doesn't need an answer anymore.

“she's gonna help me with my project.” you sit down to put on your shoes, checking the time on your phone.

“again? you say she's a nerd and i'm starting to believe you.” and you're nodding.

“she is.” you chuckle. “so smart and a fucking geek!”

“alright, have fun studying i guess…”

“stop, i will. it's fun with her.” niyah mocks you, you throw a hat from the wall hooks at her and leave the room.

you walk a little bit until you get to ellie's dorm. the door is unlocked, as usual when you're coming over and you want to scare her.

“aaaaa…ha!” you yell as you go in, only to find out she isn't inside. you feel stupid and you giggle to yourself.

you sit on her neatly done bed, next to her dinosaur plushie and you text her ‘where are you’ ‘i was finna jumpscare you and no one was here… mad embarrassing’. you sighted, she was never late to see you.

ping! ellie replied ‘omw coach had us doing an extra today” you smile and ping! “i even left without a shower so i wouldn't be so late 💔” you replied “ig it didn't work”. you're waiting for a reply but soon enough you see a sweaty ellie coming into the room, soccer jersey still on.

“oh my god, intruder!” she faked a scare and you furrowed your eyebrows as in ‘you're not funny’. “what? you said you were gonna scare me so…”

“whatever.” you stay on your phone replying to some of your friends’ texts and she pulls it away, wearing a childish smile on her dumb face. some hair stuck sweaty on her forehead and her cheeks were flushed.

“you came here to work, not play on your phone!” she laughs and you cross your arms over you chest. you don't even bother reaching out for your phone.

“you still have to take a shower so…”

“do i?” she shrugs and you look disturbed, furrowing your eyebrows.

“ewwwwww, yes you do smelly ellie.” you laugh and she furrowed her eyebrows in that same ‘you're not funny’ way. the truth is, you find each other hilarious.

“fine, wait here.” she says before grabbing some clothes from her drawers and her towel. “gonna shower real quick, and… and we can start.” you hum and nod.

she goes to the bathroom and you stay on your phone texting niyah and some other friends while she's not back. you get anxious at the image of her in her sweaty jersey for some reason and if you took your eyes off your phone you'd stare. but now it isn't any better, she's coming in with fresh clothes, smelling as good as ever and with water drops on her hair.

“hey… you didn't take out your stuff yet?” she coughs, sitting on the bed too. you shake your head and she hums negatively as to scold you.

you don't take them out and she stays quiet while you stay completely still. when you decide to reach for your bag that you had previously thrown next to the bed, you knee nudges hers. she retracts instantly, making you lift your head to face her. book and laptop in hand.

you stare, as you feared you would before. she knows she's gonna stutter so she decides to stay silent. she blinks softly, eyes still piercing yours.

“it's a questionnaire about a documentary. so maybe this wasn't a good idea.” you hold your book and laptop closer to your lap.

“w-why is it not?” she stuttered and she wanted to leave, but it's her dorm room.

“because… you'd have to have watched it to help me reply so it's dumb.”

“we can watch it, and then we reply.” she reaches for the laptop you had in your lap.

“uhh… it's 3 hours long.” you chuckle and she scoffs in disbelief. “yeah…”

“why did you want help then?” she moves further onto the bed, turning her body to face you, holding your shoulder so you do the same, you comply.

“dunno. i just… i didn't think of what project it was, to be honest. i just wanted… this i think.” you look around, emphasizing the ‘this’ as you do.

“to come over?” you shrug before nodding. “could've just said that. ya know? not your tutor, i'm your friend.”

“i know… but i dunno, i like hearing you talk and you talk and talk when you're helping me and…” you stop yourself and she's beet-red.

“you ask for my help because you… you wanna hear me talk? sorry wait…?” she's convinced she misheard you or just misunderstood what you said. you're scared she might think you're weird or something.

“i guess so, but you're also really smart.” you try to hold back a smile again, and you look down. ellie wants to see you but she doesn't want you to see her blushed cheeks.

“makes sense, sorry if it seemed like that was the only way we could hang. ‘cause that's not true…. we can just hang out y'know?” you listen to her rambling, keeping your head down. she's done talking and you're silent. “can… can you look at me for a sec?”

and you do. what are those? are those your eyes? where's your iris? big ass dilated pupils. ellie chuckles.

“what?” you lean to put your laptop and book back in your bag and as soon as you do ellie holds your chin.

“you like it when i talk?” you blink a few times. “hm?” she insists and you nod. she stays quiet so you feel like you have to say it.

“i do. why?” you breathe so heavily that she feels your body alive against her fingers that she holds against your chin. her stomach twisted, she lost her words.

both were silent, her hand on your chin dropped and you were going to look away but she spoke again.

“‘cause… i like it when you look at me.” she's now fidgeting with her fingers against her lap again, eyes trying to not leave yours, she wouldn't wanna miss any expression of yours.

“sorry.” you try not to look away too. “i know i should look-”

“yeah, keep them on me.” she interrupts with a chuckle and your heart skips a beat. hers is fast. you chuckle back. “wh-what do you wanna do then?”

“just hang, like you said?” you finally move your body again, moving one of your legs onto the bed. she nods, and she notices you kept eye contact.

“yes.” she vocalized. “course.” a strand of wet hair is stuck on her forehead and you itch to move it around.

“why did the coach have you guys doing extra today?” you remember to ask.

“it was just me and dina, we were late.” she laughs and another strand of hair falls forward as she lowers her head. your hand trails off but you hesitate. “what?” she noticed you didn't laugh and your hand's movement.

“you have hair here.” she laughs and you sigh. “here…” you brush the strands away from her forehead, she's choked up.

your eyes go down to hers and as soon as they pierce yours you're choked up too. she breathed out a “thanks.” and she accidentally touched your nose with hers because of the proximity.

“that was a kunik.” you smile and she pulls away softly.

“what do you mean?” she curled her lips up in a sweet smile.

“your nose on mine.”

“nose kiss is cute.” she adds.

“mhm, i think so too.” you agree, palming your jeans. your hands were clammy and you wanted to take off your jacket and ellie seemed to read your mind.

“you're hot?” you furrow your eyebrows at first until you nod and take off your jacket. “glad you know.” now she's holding back a smile when you do too.

“uhm… today's warm.”

“are you really talking about the weather right now?” she laughs at your conversation attempt and you slap her arm.

“it's not like that… it's actually nice and warm today.” you giggle. “i was thinking about it.”

“right… right… it's true, it is warm.” she surrenders to your true statement. “it's nicer to practice like this, makes you feel more energetic.”

“plus made you sweat so hard.” you laugh, remembering the state she was in.

“naaah, it's always like that, but coming back here speeding wasn't as refreshing as the walks when it's colder” she emphasizes speeding and glares harder at you with a grin.

“hey! i didn't ask you to speed here!” you smile, she mirrors that. your smiles fade away with the silence that settles again. you were about to speak again when ellie beat you to it.

“i don't like being late.” she moves around to lie down next to your sat figure.

“you were just laughing about being late.” you start laughing, looking at her almost over your shoulder.

“about being late for practice, not about being late to see you.” she chuckles and you grin. she rolls her eyes, knowing what to expect from you.

“oooh because i'm just sooo more important.” you turn to her, leaning on the bed with your hands, closer to her face now.

“yeah right… you're just scarier than the coach.” she laughs but she stops drastically, serious expression. “it's your face. scary as shit i swear to god.”

“ooooh really?” you chant coming even closer.

“yeah keep that face away…” she acts frightened, one hand on top of her head and the other between your faces to keep you away. you lean even closer and you're both giggling “help!” even closer, giggles and chuckles alive.

“you're done for!” you come closer, face hitting her hand, that just holds your cheek.

you're still laughing and she's grabbing your face with both hands, pretending to scream in fear as you laugh into her face. you're almost on top of her and as soon as you touch, her eyes soften and you stiffen. the laughter is gone and long forgotten.

“nose kiss again?” she blurted out incoherently and you shifted, her hand slid to your neck, you felt hot again but now you didn't have a jacket to strip out of.

“what?” you crawl closer to settle where you were. your heart raced just like ellie's, even if you didn't know hers did. “ellie…” you start, not moving an inch away or closer, her head already lifted off the bed. her hand on your neck pulls you closer until your noses touch again.

“there, nose kissed.” she smiles. you let go of the breath you didn't realize you were holding. she moves her nose against yours. breathing against each other's faces.

[starzblvd]

Sleepover w/ college!Ellie before + after dating hc’s<3

「˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚。」 fluff with slight smut at the end

Before

꒰ა☆໒꒱ would beg for Joel to let you stay a night or two over the summer and wouldn’t drop it until he says yes, then when he does she’d excitedly be texting you “yeah he’s chill with it”

꒰ა☆໒꒱ spends an hour searching up “things to do at sleepovers” so she can map out everything in her head, making up little scenarios of how’d you act with each activity saying she’d definitely love this out loud every once in a while

baking heart shaped cookies? She’ll like this

having a meal based off a movie we watch? She’s going to be so happy

Making face masks and applying it on each other? I’ll get to be close to her face

꒰ა☆໒꒱ So nervous when she actually hears your car pull up the drive way and takes a breathe before opening the door for you but she’s so nervous having you to herself at her house she just awkwardly smiles for a couple of seconds staring at you until Joel introduces himself and breaks the moment

꒰ა☆໒꒱ She didn’t tell Joel she had a thing for you but it was so obvious to everyone besides you, Ellie’s eyes lingered on your face and body with how painfully your shorts and low the cut of your top was. Joel would leave the two you be but would get second hand embarrassment if he stayed any longer to watch how Ellie would be so plainly into you, smiling and nodding along with everything that came out the lips she wished she’d one day be able to know the feeling of, or when she’d get a little red when you even slightly touch her arm

꒰ა☆໒꒱ Not even watching the movie and just looks at you majority of the movie, even if she insisted on playing her favorite movie when you said you haven’t seen it yet, but immediately looks away towards the screen if you shift a little in case you’d look over so she doesn’t get caught

꒰ა☆໒꒱ When it’s time to sleep she didn’t want you to sleep on her floor so she offered her bed but was so flustered when you just suggested sharing a bed and how it wouldn’t be much of a deal, for you anyways

Ellie’a staring straight at the ceiling while you made yourself comfortable on her mattress, having the feeling of your weight besides eased her a bit after a bit with the smell of your shampoo reaching her nose with how close you were

still she wouldn’t be able to sleep until you fell asleep first, then she’d roll on her side to admire you in the dim lighting of her room with only the light coming in through the gap of her curtains landing perfectly on you, after a few minutes she’d lull herself to sleep

꒰ა☆໒꒱ when you woke up you noticed Ellie’s leg was laying onto of your hip and her face was even closer than when you initially were awake, so close you feel the slow steady breathes from nose. You knew she tends to wake up later than you and it was nearly 8am at best, but before you could completely fall into another deep sleep Ellie’s breathing hitches while slowly removing her leg off from you. Opening your eyes a small quarter Ellie’s eyes were wide with a soft pink blush contrasting her freckles, she didn’t notice because she was too focused on repositioning herself like she wasn’t clinging to you all night

After

꒰ა☆໒꒱ doesn’t even ask to have you over and just gives Joel a heads up since she frequently takes you to her house when she can, you even have your own toothbrush next to hers

꒰ა☆໒꒱ You were over so often but Ellie would prefer to actually live with you, she’d even send you a link to join a collab pintrest board to make an imaginary apartment subtly but not really subtly trying to get you on board with the idea of moving in with her

꒰ა☆໒꒱ Washes the blankets you like most of hers for you to use, maybe if she makes you comfortable enough you’ll stay even longer is her mentality when prepping for your arrival

꒰ა☆໒꒱ Cradling you from the back not letting you escape her arms, laying her head on your shoulder smelling the perfume you use that’s Ellie’s favorite, having to pry her off when you need to go to the bathroom

“Ellieee, i got to go cmon”

She groans “just a minute more” before squeezing you but it only makes your need to go worse

꒰ა☆໒꒱ Let’s you borrow any of her clothes and insists that you do, she loves seeing how her clothes look on you, in a way to her it reminds her how you’re hers and hers only and leaves your smell on the fabric when she gets it back

꒰ა☆໒꒱ when Joel leaves you alone Ellie’s quick to get touchy, first she’s sweet picking you up and giving you a small twirl around kissing your nape all over then she smudges whatever lipgloss you put on when she kisses you in the needy hasty way she does, she loved the way the softness of your lips feel on hers, you let her tongue slide in when you felt her soft lick on your lower lip. It was all getting pretty hot until Joel casually slams the door open

“Got another space magazine for, you” he scanned Ellie’s face pretending he’d walked in you two playing uno or something instead

She’d quickly push you off of her that makes you stumble a bit while fixing the two strands adorning her face, flushed but trying to act nonchalantly to deescalate the situation but she wishes she could burry herself into the walls

꒰ა☆໒꒱ Any shyness she harbored prior to dating was long gone with wanting to shower with you, get dressed with you, and sleep within your embrace, being able to have any touch of you sent her into a calm happy bliss so she never misses the opportunity to slip her hands under every article of clothing you wore, sometimes she’d pinch you lightly to tease you because it was so funny to her how you pouted and swat away her hand all frantically

꒰ა☆໒꒱ Nights where you couldn’t sleep Ellie would suggest an idea that worked every time to knock you out, that idea was her slipping her hand under your shorts into the warm wet space of your underwear letting her fingers do all the work smiling all cocky when you had to shove your face into the pillow to keep quiet

[ellieswifie]

︿︿ ੈ [ 🪩 ] ༉‧₊˚✧

FLAWLESS

kinktober week one, oct 4

summary: ellie williams fucking you with her strap in front of a full size body mirror…

warnings: ellie!girlfriend x fem!reader, 18+mdni, smut with no plot, curse words, strap usage (r!receiving), wlw relationship, pet names, definitely rushed, dom!ellie, sub!reader, praising a little bit

˗ˋ.*✧·˚ ೃ࿔₊•

"LOOK HOW PRETTY YOU LOOK RIDING MY COCK, BABY." ellie whispers so quietly you almost don’t hear her. her eyes are draw to the side of the room when she drags her free hand towards your chin.

your brows furrowed in confusion at first before following her heavy eyes towards the mirror hanging from the closet door across the room

your hands are rested on her shoulders, as ellie stayed lifted up on one arm, moving her hips forward to meet your hips while you rocked yourself on her strap in a painfully slow motion.

as you stared at yourself in the mirror, your eyes moved to meet ellie’s in the mirror. they were daring as she watches you, taking in every single detail of your body, sliding down the hand rested on your chin to hover all the way down towards your hip. she rest her hand there before her hip trusts begin to feel deeper and you grow weak.

a faint moan whispers off your lips as her moments grow slower, but deeper. harder. a smile is creeping up her face as she places a quick kiss on your lips.

"how’s that feel pretty girl?" ellie whispers, keeping her eyes on the mirror while you slowly ride her. you just moan in response, dropping your head slightly, trying to hold contact with her.

you can see ellie smirking while she meets your eyes in the mirror, the moon light coming from the window, showing off her beautiful freckled skin.

"you look so-oh my godddd." you feel the strap hit your g spot, unable to finish your sentence. ellie continues to smirk, as you fall against her chest a quiet whimper, falling off your lips. your eyes fell back inside your head tangling your hands through ellie’s hair while her mouth pressed against your hot neck.

ellie’s mouth remain on your neck sucking small bruises on you when she stops moving her hips, but still remains deep inside you, consuming you. your hands lower to rest on her breasts while she lowers her supporting hand down to your other hip, completely sitting up.

she scoots herself in a move comfortable position, causing you to gasp when you feel the strap move around inside you. her face remains stuck on her cocky smirk while she watches you through the mirror, catching a clear picture of your ass.

your body warmth pressed against hers caused you to tear your hands from her breast to wrap a lazy arm around her shoulders, lifting you up slightly off her strap, before ellie’s hands shove you right back down, making you moan in pleasure.

ellie’s eyes dart back to you watching yourself rise right back up, before slamming down to meet skin. ellie could simply just cum hearing the pretty moans your making or the way your back arches after falling back down on her strap.

“your so beautiful," she says, digging her nails into your soft skin, making you start pouncing faster. "absolutely flawless."

you can’t even find the words to respond to her kind compliment. your words are muffled into low moans and gasps. so you run your fingers over her lips, feeling the strap consume you.

but it feels like you need more.

you send pleading eyes to ellie, just wanting her to pound into you already. ellie’s head turns towards the mirror once more, making you follow her gaze.

"your doing so good, baby…" she whispers close to your ear, sneaking a hand to your aching clit to run fast circles. "good girl, just a little longer."

but you can’t. your bones and muscles all feel weak and you just want to cum. you just want ellie and only her.

"ellie…" you moan throwing your head back in awe, but keeping your eyes on the large mirror. you watch as ellie’s face is close to yours, eye browns drawn together, keeping focus on the strap disappearing inside you.

"yeah baby?" ellie teases, biting your ear slightly, before pushing back to get a better look at your tits bouncing.

your head falls back forward, going to rest on her shoulder. her head nods, pushing your body up, then now slowly dropping your hips down back to the strap,.

"holy fuck!" you cried, every bone and muscle in your body growing weak by the second. you couldn’t hold yourself up anymore. you just cried into ellie’s shoulder, listening to her assuring words while you felt ur orgasm slip through u.

heavy breathing echos through the room while you fell against ellie’s chest, tilting your head to face the mirror, movements stopping.

ellie pushes a long strain of hair out your face while u pushed urself up off her strap, gasping at the lose of contact.

your eyes watch hers in the mirror while you try controlling your breathing.

she’s rubbing her hands through your hair, while you try bringing yourself back down to earth. she’s whispering sweet words in your hair while your body burns and just aches for more.

"round two?" you hear ellie whisper, smirking in the mirror. you could contain your laughter when you watched her in the large mirror. your head slightly nodded while you felt her start leaning down onto the sheets, dragging you down with her.

"but this time you stop looking in the mirror… i stop."

[ellisgirlfriend]

pure love ﾟ☾ ﾟ(audio)

ʚ♡ɞ childhood friend!ellie x reader

cw: weed, drinking, ellie is jealous, nsfw (ellie receiving), oral (ellie receiving), fingering (ellie receiving)

wc: 6,646

You and Ellie were always inseparable since little kids, it was rather easy to become Ellie’s friend since she seemed so cold to everyone else.

At first, you tried your best to talk to her since she lived right next to you and you were always a talkative kid but of course, it didn’t go as well with Ellie, she always tried to end the conversation after a few words and go home, but as time went by she seemed different, still irritated with your behavior but she never left you, she was always waiting for you in the same exact place, knowing that you’ll go outside to chat with her, you were so happy to find out about that, jumping around your room and going to tell your parents as fast as you could. After that it was history, just sweet moments with you and Ellie, playing in your mom’s garden in the weekend, sleepovers and everything friends do at that age, those were the best years of your life, living carefree without any stress, always with your best friend, you sometimes wished you were still so young, so innocent. But of course, reality was hitting you, especially college, you didn’t even have the time for Ellie and it was hurting your heart a bit too much for your liking, you tried your best to ignore it, to just study for these stupid exams and just get them over with.

That wasn’t the only reason you wanted to be young again though, maybe at that time the feelings were easier, everything was easier, you didn’t want to admit it for a long time but you’ve always had a crush on Ellie, when you were a kid too, you weren’t sure but you were so attached to her from the start and you’ve only just realized it now how clingy you were with her even as kid, that thought made you blush from the embarrassment, asking yourself if Ellie noticed that behavior, if she thought it was weird or something, or maybe she didn’t even care, you don’t really know which one hurt the most.

Sitting at your desk, you sighed deeply, you couldn’t study, mind full of stupid thoughts about Ellie, you’ve always wondered if she really thinks about you as much as you do, looking up at the ceiling, already in your own thoughts, you heard a soft knock on the door, you almost didn’t hear it, as you slowly turn your head to the door, you heard another knock, slightly harder this time.

You get up from your black chair, approaching the door as you try not to remember your thoughts you just had now. You open the door softly and you were welcomed by Ellie’s presence, of course, you two were always hanging out like everyday so this wasn’t something new, you tried not to show your sadness so she doesn’t question you about it, you tiredly smile, gesturing your hand to your messy bed.

“Tired already, dude?” Ellie said while walking inside your dorm room, analyzing the clutter all over your small desk, she was trying to notice everything, always observant of you.

The nickname always bugged you, it wasn’t a big deal, Ellie always used it on anyone, but you wanted to feel special, especially since you two were so close, it hurt to hear her say it, you wanted to hear her call your name softly, or at least a simple pet name, something. 'Were you always this needy?' you thought. You sighed deeply, trying to answer her question before making her suspicious,

“Mhm, tried to study but I have a bad headache soo…” you quietly say while looking at the ground, Ellie is already sitting on your bed, feeling comfortable as always, she notices your awkwardness but she only assumed that you’re pretty tired. Out of nowhere she changed her voice to a softer one, gently patting the space on the bed next to her, and you complied.

“Why don’t we watch something 'till you fall asleep, I don’t mind” she quietly says in a soft voice while looking at your tired eyes, waiting patiently for your answer. You nod, you didn’t have the energy to study nor to talk to Ellie about anything because you knew deep down that you will confess to her about your hidden feelings, you were not ready to be rejected tonight or any day really. You switch off the lights as Ellie was browsing something for you two to watch, you sat next to her afterwards, feeling her warmth against your cold skin, making you slightly tremble. You try to think of something else, anything while watching the movie that Ellie chose but your mind always drifted to her presence being so close to you.

It wasn’t something new, you and Ellie always stayed very close to each other, it felt rather safe to feel her skin touching yours, especially when you weren’t feeling your best, but after thinking about your feelings for this girl, the skin on skin touch felt a bit different this time. You tried to move a bit, Ellie always noticed things about you, even though she was focused on the movie, she could feel your awkwardness somehow. She bumped her shoulder into yours, wanting to make you speak up about your mood, you try to hide it from her, slightly humming so it seemed that you were too focused watching the movie or whatever it was, you didn’t even know. Ellie wasn’t happy with the 'answer' so she stopped the movie, sitting up slightly while she was analyzing your face, you tried to avoid her gaze, looking around the room awkwardly.

“Why did you stop the movie?” You softly say, her tone was a bit louder than yours which made you look at her.

“Well, tell me what the fuck is wrong with you first?” She sarcastically said, still looking at you. You have been caught, it was hard to hide your emotions from her, so you tried to come up with a lie about the sadness inside your heart, but at the same time her tone of voice pissed you off, she pissed you off so much sometimes, always so friendly to you. You wanted something else. Yes, she was always a good, caring friend but you wanted another type of caring, her question irritated you for no reason, Ellie was just trying to lighten the mood with a little bit of her usual friendly aggression but it still made you irritated. Your lips were moving without realizing, making the conversation into an awkward one: “Nothing, dude.” you never called Ellie that, it wasn’t your thing, you could clearly see Ellie’s expression changing into a confused one, realizing that you are not in a good mood. She was a bit annoyed but you couldn’t really tell, she was so hard to read sometimes even though you knew her so much. It made you smile a bit, realizing that maybe you pushed a button, you didn’t want to sound stupid but maybe you had a chance, a bit of hope blooming into your heart.

“What did you just call me?” she said in an upset tone, almost mocking this conversation. Suddenly, the air in the room became thicker. “What? You always call me that” you sarcastically say, she looked at you with a slightly annoyed expression.

“I don’t know where this is coming from but what’s gotten into you? If you're mad at me just say so and stop acting like a stupid kid.”

The name offended you, yeah, maybe you were acting a bit childish but you couldn’t stop the petty feeling inside your stomach. So, your mouth still moved without realizing what you were doing, overwhelmed after all these years. “You were the one mad because I called you a stupid nickname, I was just telling that I’m okay but you changed the subject to this shit.” You confidently said, making Ellie even more irritated than she was earlier, “Something’s clearly off about you.” She softly said. “What, you don’t like the little name I gave you?” You finally said it, you were so curious about the small outburst she just had...maybe she felt the same?

Ellie looked at you dead in the eyes. “No fucking shit, of course I don’t like it.” she exhaled sharply before continuing, “Can’t you see it, dumbass? I’m behaving like this because you just called me “dude”, connect the dots.”

You quietly took a deep breath, feeling your heart exploding in your chest, you didn’t want to assume anything but it was clear, too clear that she liked you as well, still, you were scared to say it, there was a small chance that this wasn’t what she was talking about.

“What?” you breathless said, feeling overwhelmed by her presence and what she just said, the air felt even thicker, suffocating your lungs. Ellie almost didn’t hear you, you hear another sigh from her side, suddenly, you feel her getting up from the bed, not even bothering to switch on the lights. She looked down at you and with a slightly forced monotone voice she said “Never mind, this is going nowhere.”

“What do you mean?” you say, louder this time for her to hear you, you were so confused. “This wasn’t the subject to begin with so let’s cut it out, okay?” She moved her gaze from your eyes, looking at the wooden door before opening her mouth again “I’m leaving, just… take some painkillers for your headache and sleep.” Before she could touch the door knob, you interrupt her, “Why are you leaving? I’m sorry, I didn’t want to sound so childish but I promise I'm okay, Ells. I was just…tired from studying so I exploded, I guess?" you awkwardly laugh, waiting for her to come back to sit next to you, you somehow felt guilty, you didn’t want to seem too mad and ruin the whole mood but you couldn’t help it anymore. Ellie heard your sad tone, she bit her lip while opening the door, leaving you alone without saying anything back.

You were shocked to say the least, you didn’t expect this to turn into some kind of argument, you felt so bad, you ruined the whole mood just because of your silly feelings. You should just put those behind, but still you couldn’t take off your mind from what your friend said, 'connect the dots'? Maybe she did like you back, just maybe. You shakily sighed, reaching for your phone from the edge of the bed, texting Ellie 'good night', like usual. You tried to fall asleep with your phone right next to your head, waiting for Ellie's response.

.

.

The sun painted your features while you tried to wake up from the dream you were having. After some time, you managed to wake up, stretching your body while slowly getting up from the bed. You do your usual routine, you needed extra time because, you looked like hell, messy hair and purpleish eye bags, it was obvious why you were having such a rough morning. Ellie was still in your mind rent free, you couldn’t wait to talk to her, you always hated arguing with her over anything, you couldn’t even be mad for a whole day because your heart was screaming at you to just make up (and make out)! You were just that type of person.

After a long cold shower you reach for your phone to see if Ellie at least left you on seen, which she did. It made you smile a bit, she wasn’t completely ignoring you, you still don’t know why she left so suddenly. You could have just talked about the whole thing, maybe even confess. It was Saturday so you felt a bit better, you could just relax from all this stress before the big exams hit you again. You sigh from the thought, after a while, you went to put some clothes on to get some coffee because you were already looked dead enough.

After throwing on some clothes without thinking too much about it, you were on your way to the small coffee shop near campus. Taking slow steps and enjoying the warm weather of spring around you, before realizing, you were already in front of the shop. Out of nowhere, you feel a slight touch on your shoulder, you slowly turn your head to the person, it was Dina, Ellie’s friend. You and her were pretty close but not that close, she was also in one of your classes so it was pretty common to see her around your dorm room, asking for your help on anything really. You warmly smiled at her, you weren’t in the mood but you didn’t want to show it to her right now.

“Hello..” you softly said while she looks at you with a smile.

“Hey, saw you around here, just wanted to say hi.” you nod at her, while gesturing to her to sit down with you at some table around the shop. When you finally found some empty seats she began to speak again in a more serious tone.

“Is everything okay with Ellie?” She curiously asked, it was weird to talk about Ellie without her being here but at the same time you were curious to see her behavior after the conversation you two had.

“Kinda, she was a bit mad yesterday because of me but..” you said while looking around the shop, feeling embarrassed to remember the petty argument.

“I don’t know if I should be in-between you two but…” she stopped before continuing “she was acting, I don’t know, cold? Ignoring me and stuff and I know that you two are very close friends so my mind went to you immediately.”

“This is very stupid but I tried to annoy her with calling her, uh” you wanted to punch yourself, this was so stupid to say out loud, you cringed for a bit before finishing the sentence, “I called her “dude, bro”, can’t remember but I usually don’t do that and she got kinda annoyed with my behavior.” you wince after confessing.

“It was stupid of me to start this but I was a bit annoyed already and yeah…” you looked at Dina, embarrassed. You felt like a teenager. You received a snort from the other side, you quickly look up at her.

“That’s it? Damn.” She still laughed while you look at her even more embarrassed.

“I thought it was a lot more serious by her reaction, lord.” she said.

“Just talk to her, I don’t why she got mad because of that but you can’t ignore her, you know.” She finally changed her facial expression into a more serious one. You try to talk while she shuts you down with her voice."Well it’s kinda obvious why she got mad but you’re her best friend, you should know.” She smiled afterwards, leaning against the small table while analyzing your reaction. You realized what she was trying to tell you, you looked at your feet under the table, trying to avoid this subject at the moment.

“I don’t think I do.” You softly said.

Dina knows Ellie as much as you do, they were kinda close friends, they met in the first year of college but they connected easily afterwards, which was surprising to you since it was kinda hard for Ellie to make any real friends. That’s why you knew you could trust Dina.

After getting no answer out of you, Dina exhaled while trying to change the subject to lighten the mood between you two.

“Just try to talk to her, it’s not even that deep.” she finally ended it with that sentence, receiving a soft sigh from you.

“If you feel too awkward to do it today I can make up an excuse to have a movie night with you, Ellie and maybe Jesse, boom!” she said while waiting for your approval."

“Nothing too awkward, right? Just usual friends shit.” She said.

“True…but I’m not in your friend group, so..” you trailed off, you might be really good friends with her but other than that you are pretty much alone, yeah, you spoke with Dina sometimes because of the classes you shared but it wasn’t that important to you.

“You’re Ellie's friend, it works, plus we should really hang out more.” she said while smiling warmly, grabbing your hand to give it a little squeeze, you finally gave in, accepting her help, also thanking her for the whole effort put into this. You were sure it was going to be awkward but you hoped for the best, exactly how Dina said, it wasn’t that deep.

.

.

After some time talking to Dina, you decided to go back to your room to get ready. The others agreed to the little party, which made you relived. You thought Ellie wasn't going to agree after hearing that you are going to be there too. You planned to relax for a bit before putting on some nice clothes, you wanted to look good at least, the crush wasn’t going away, that’s for sure.

After some hours, you could call yourself ready, for a second, you looked at your reflection, you looked decent. The make up made your features stand out even more, you softly smiled at your reflection, feeling a bit more confident about you seeing Ellie looking like this. You didn’t want to admit it, but you wanted to impress her for no reason. You quietly sighed before taking out your phone to text Dina, she answered you quickly, telling you that everyone is already here. After you saw her message, you quickly reached the door knob to leave your room. Feeling anxious to see the girl, you bit your lip out of nervousness while your legs move quickly to Dina’s dorm room, trying to ignore the overwhelming feeling.

When you reach the wooden door, you took a deep breath before gently knocking, in under a minute, Dina welcomed you with a smile while gesturing to sit on her orange couch. You silently enter the room and immediately, you gaze goes to Ellie, she was wearing some casual clothing, as usual, while she was sharing a joint with two men. Your expression changed drastically to a confused one, you thought only Jesse will be here? You already didn’t know him that well, you couldn’t really bear with another stranger in the room, the feeling of nervousness already hugging your heart, quickly, you feel Dina’s warmth next to you, telling you that she forgot to mention that another friend of hers was coming to this. You tried to be polite with her decision but you still felt slightly agitated since you weren’t really used to new people. Dina saw your expression and she gently smiled, whispering an apology into your ear, also telling you that she didn’t want to ditch this friend since she was already planning on going out with him but she totally forgot, you understand her nevertheless. It wasn’t a big deal anyway so you just patted her shoulder as a thank you for her concerns.

You sit on the couch next to Ellie and the group while Dina was making some drinks for you. You felt Ellie's body tense up when she realized that she's next to you, it was so weird to see her uneasy around you, it kinda hurt. The others began to talk to you, asking if you want to smoke too, you quickly nod, you had to find a reason to escape this knot inside your stomach. You wrapped your fingers around the joint, taking a small hit, before exhaling the smoke into the air, trying not to cough because of the strong scent filling up the tiny room.

"I haven’t seen you around the campus. Freshman?" the stranger quickly strikes up a conversation with you, easing up the awkwardness between you and Ellie. While she was watching you from the corner of her eye, waiting for you to finally talk and hear your honey like voice.

“Not really, I just don’t go to parties.” you simply said, still feeling nervous.

“A shame, I’m Liam by the way.” he said, you felt a bit icky by his comment, hoping he was not flirting with you, it was the last thing you wanted to happen tonight.

“Not for me, I like to spend my time with close friends so this is new.” you continued, feeling a bit awkward by Liam’s sudden curiosity about you, softly playing with your fingers while he was analyzing you very closely that you could feel it inside your bones. The tension breaks when Dina comes holding some glasses, she gently places them on the small round table in front of everyone while she sits on the carpet, the couch was obviously too small.

“Leave the poor girl alone, you're making her shy.” Dina warned Liam, noticing his gaze on your figure. The stranger puts his arms up in defense, apologizing sarcastically, you could feel Ellie’s eyes roll which made you slightly flush in your seat. Luckily for you it was warm inside the tiny room, at least you had an excuse.

You began to relax a bit after a few puffs and a bit of alcohol hitting your system, you weren’t drunk, that’s for sure but at least you could feel a bit comfortable under Ellie’s gaze eating you alive. You try to make conversation with anyone in the room but her, it was harder than you thought. Dina could see the tension between you two, at the end of the day, she made this small party just for you two to make up at some point. She thinks for a bit before she speaks louder than everyone else.

“How about we play a game? We can’t just drink for free.” she smirks. She slowly gets up while you watch her going to the kitchen, after some time, she comes back with an empty water bottle, she places it on the small table right in the middle. You already knew where this is going, especially when you saw the water bottle in her hands, you nervously look at her while everyone but Liam is rolling their eyes at this stupid game.

“Are we 12? The fuck is this?” Ellie finally speaks after an hour of not even saying a word, it was weird to hear her voice after almost 2 days, you could already feel yourself blush, even more deeper than the last time.

“Yeah, yeah, didn’t ask. It can be fun, if you want it to be, so…” Dina says while grabbing the bottle, and spinning it on the table without even asking the others if they want to play, you softly chuckle at her. The empty bottle landed on Jesse, he just looks at it, confused by this game.

“Truth or dare, c'mon.” Dina says, waiting for his answer.

“I’m not doing this…” he quietly says while sighing, already feeling a bit tipsy but nevertheless he continues to play “…truth, I guess.” Dina smiles widely, making a thinking face, being a little too dramatic for this, when she finally knows something to ask, she softly gasps. “Why did you decide to get back together with me?” Dina says quietly this time, feeling a bit weird asking this personal question in front of everyone. Jesse was looking at her shocked, a soft blush on his face while he was thinking, feeling a bit embarrassed by the other's eyes looking at him.

“Because it was a stupid reason to break up, like usual…” he stops, thinking deeply for an answer “I knew we were better than that and I wanted to try it again since I trust you.” He finishes it off without telling any details about the break-up, you were a bit curious but you didn’t want to be nosy about it since you weren’t that close to them. You still smiled at the sweet moment in front of you, Dina tried to be casual about it but you could see her genuine smile under her act. After a few moments, Dina spins the bottle once again, landing on you, you looked at the bottle, nervously thinking of what you should choose, it wasn’t a big deal but you still felt a little knot inside your stomach. “Truth!” you say, still looking at Ellie sneakily to see any reactions from her, you really wanted to talk to her. Your thoughts were interrupted by Jesse’s loud voice, “Let me think..” He says while leaning on the couch thinking of something, “Do you like someone?” You freeze when you felt Ellie’s green eyes on you, impatient with the long wait, you fidget with your fingers, thinking of a safe answer, but you still wanted to say the truth. Maybe it’s time to give a little sign to the girl next to you, it didn’t need to be specific so you were safe.

After some time, you nod, feeling Ellie tense next to you, it wasn’t allowed to ask anything else so the game continued. You could tell that Ellie's confused by your answer. She thought that you didn’t like anyone, since you two always told each other everything, it made you a smile a little, finally getting a reaction out of her.

The game continued for a bit, and finally the bottle landed on Liam, the stranger, he confidently chose dare, he was the first one to do so. Dina was feeling a bit braver because of the alcohol so she asked him to kiss the prettiest person in the room. Oh, no. Dina didn’t know if this was a good idea but the tension between you and Ellie was getting under her skin, like just talk to each other? It was clear that you two like each other, but you were the only ones who didn’t see it.

When Liam heard the dare, he looked straight to you, you felt his gaze, already feeling tense about this. You didn’t want it but it was just a simple dare at the end of day, you didn’t want to ruin the mood in the room so you just went with the flow and with whatever Dina was doing right now. You could feel him getting closer to you while Ellie was watching the whole thing silently, after a few seconds, you could see his face clearly, a bit dazed by the weed, looking at you lustily without feeling any shame that everyone is watching his every move. Without even asking, he puts his hand on yours and pecks your lips, you almost wanted to throw up after you felt his lips again, wanting to kiss you properly. You firmly pushed him away, receiving a whine from him, he did too out of nowhere, it made you even more uncomfortable but you still tried to ignore the feeling.

“The dare said one kiss.” you say, while Dina grabs Liam’s shirt, putting him in place. Liam rolled his eyes, sitting silently on the couch, while you look at the carpet under your feet. You felt a bit embarrassed by this whole thing, especially by Liam’s reaction, it made you feel unpleasant. So, after a few rounds you excused yourself to the bathroom, telling everyone that you feel a bit sick because of the alcohol. Nobody's suspicious, other than Ellie.

You reach the small bathroom, washing your red face with some cold water to wake you up, afterwards you grab the small towel and you bury your face in it. The door opens quietly, you turn your gaze to the person, when you see Ellie in front you, you softly smile. You couldn’t wait anymore, you just wanted to hear her voice, you were so used to seeing her everyday, hearing her everyday, it was such a hard task not to do those things with her.

You didn’t get any answer from her, she quickly gets closer to you, analyzing your face, everything. You look up at her, feeling overwhelmed under her strong gaze. She opens her mouth after a while: “Are you okay?” She gently says, receiving a reassuring smile from you, Ellie sighs, putting her hands inside her pocket out of nervousness before speaking again “It was obvious that you were uncomfortable in there, you shouldn’t have let that dick touch you.” She says, a bit irritated than the last time."

“Well it was a dare, plus I didn’t want to ruin the whole mood.” you say.

“Who cares about that? I wanted to punch that asshole the first time he talked to you, don’t care about the mood.” she sternly says, her comment made your heart flutter a bit, you try to ignore the feeling, too distracted by her face, you softly counted every freckle on her face, she was so pretty, you thought.

“Are you even listening? Think about your well being, not the others’” she speaks a bit louder this time, waking you up from your thoughts, you try to hide your blush from her through your hair.

“Thank you for being so caring but I’m fine.” you finally looked up at her, reassuring her that you’re okay after all of this.

“He clearly flirted with you too.” Ellie says annoyed, still focused on her thoughts, pressing on the subject. You look away from her, you didn’t want to piss her even more. She sees your reaction, she couldn’t quite figure it out what you were thinking, so she assumed the worse, feeling herself getting even more irritated than she already was.

“You didn’t have a problem with that?” she insisted, your eyes lock with hers, sensing her jealousy in the air.

“Are you jealous?” you felt a bit braver than the last few hours.

“No.” she quickly says, which made you a bit sad but you try to hide it, you still wanted to press on the matter exactly how she was doing.

“Then stop asking me things.” you say in a serious tone, which makes Ellie clench her hands inside her pockets.

“I won’t stop, I need to know. I’m your friend.” she says

“Why? It’s not that important, no need to get mad.” you switch your attitude a bit, talking too much for your own good.

“It’s important for me then.” she sternly says, before sighing, she couldn’t hold it anymore not when she had you like this, in this situation, she was too jealous.

“You think I can hold myself together when I see that fucker get closer to you? Even breathe next to you? I can feel a knot in my stomach, I wanted to rip his arms out so he can’t touch you like that.” she finally says it, letting her anger take control of her. You look at her, shocked, you couldn’t believe your ears. You seriously thought you were just in one of your dreams about her. Your drunk mind can’t process this right.

"...Huh?" you wanted to pinch yourself, to check if this is actually reality and not some fantasy of yours. Ellie began leaning closer to you, making you back away until your body gently hit the sink. You tried to gaze somewhere else other than her pink chapped lips, but you failed miserably.

"You're drunk.." you mutter, if she was gonna steal your first kiss it might as well be a genuine one, not one that you forget about next morning. But still, you couldn't really resist much longer, your whole body felt hot as her gaze pierced your lips, you could feel her getting closer to your ear.

"Can I kiss you?" she whispered simply, making you shiver.

This was the last straw for you, you grabbed her collar and pulled her closer to you, making your lips smash into eachother. The kiss felt so relieving, after all these years of pining for her, daydreaming and dreaming about how her hands would feel on your waist, the way her body felt against yours and her scent. It was driving you crazy, you wanted to feel her fingers and mouth on your body, you wanted her to mark your skin and make you scream of pleasure.

You felt her tongue brush against your teeth, asking for permission to deepen the kiss, you let out a whimper as you open your mouth slightly for her. The kiss gets messy, you feel saliva on your chin and her hands touching every inch of your body. You wanted more.

"Please, I wanna feel you." you whine quietly. You wonder how much time is left before anyone checks up on you, you've been here for quite a while. "Who's stopping you, babe? I'm all yours." Ellie says as she takes your hand and slips it under her shirt. You grab Ellie by her hips and switch places, now she's pinned against the sink. You take a quick look at her and realize how fucking hot this all is, strands of her hair were sticking to her face because of the sweat, her collarbones were showing a bit, you might've pulled on her collar a bit too much, she had rose tinted cheeks and she was looking at you with lust-filled eyes. She was so sexy.

You nibble at her neck and lick your way down to her collarbone, as you grab her waist. She grunts, clearly enjoying this as she grabs your hair and pulls gently, and wow, that felt good. You positioned your knee between her legs, supported by the cupboard under the sink. She lets out a low moan, surprised by the sudden contact. You cup her chin and kiss her again passionately as she grinds against your leg.

"F-Fuck, keep going..." she uttered, interrupting her heavy breathing. You grab her hips, moving her forward and backwards, creating friction as she slowly puts her arms around you , nuzzling your neck, when suddenly: "Hey, I've been holding it in forever!" Dina yells as she bangs at the door. Shit.

You gently fix Ellie's collar and she fixes your hair for you as you awkwardly mutter an 'oops' and then you reach for the doorknob. As the door opened, Dina's expression changes from annoyed to smug real fast. She definitely noticed our breathlessness and flush on our cheeks.

"Go home," she whispered "I'll make up an excuse for you." You were so gonna get made fun of for doing this in her tiny bathroom for the next week...or months...years? Ellie grabs your wrist and drags you to the front door quietly, you yelled out a 'bye' as you hurriedly leave the dorm room. Luckily, her room is just a few rooms away from Dina's, how convenient.

You both enter the room and get straight to it, as the door shuts behind you, Ellie kisses you aggressively. As you made out, you quickly found yourselves on the bed, breathless and really horny.

"Ellie...I- I wanna see you." you mutter during the pauses between your kisses, and Ellie fulfilled your wish fast, turning on the lamp on the nightstand. As your eyes got used to the brightness, you notice her iconic galaxy themed bedsheets, you'll never get used to this.

"Pff- When are you gonna replace these?" you laugh, trying not to ruin the mood.

"Just shut up and kiss me."

And so, you obeyed. Things were getting heated and you couldn't wait anymore, you unzipped her jeans and tossed them on the floor while she was admiring you closely. You pinned her against the bed and slid your hand in her boxers, making her breath hitch. Suddenly, your confidence drops drastically. You've never done this before. Ellie noticed the change in your demeanor and stopped.

"This is your first time, right?" she asked calmly. "Want me to top?"

You totally forgot that she actually knows what she's doing, you buried the fact that she's done this with other people deep in your mind. You were extremely jealous, you wanted to be special to her, to be the only one she did this with.

"Ah, no- I- I wanna to make you feel good." you stammered, embarrassed.

"You sure? I don't wanna for-" she gets cut off by the sudden feeling of your fingers teasing her cunt. She involuntarily squeezed her thighs together as you started to rub you fingertips gently around her clit. She was so sensitive and aroused, it was almost pathetic. You paused for a bit to take your blouse off, it was way too hot in here. You quickly slid her boxers off too and lifted Ellie's shirt up to reveal her pale, freckled skin. You slowly trailed soft kisses down her stomach, you could feel her eyes watching your every move as you slowly pushed her legs apart.

You were so nervous, you could feel your hands shaking. The alcohol was starting to wear off, this was definitely not a dream. Trying to steady your breathing, you admired her body and looked up at her. Her eyes were half closed, filled with anticipation, she looked so vulnerable and fragile.

You slowly tease her with your tongue, licking everything but her sweetspot as she squirms under you. As you continue teasing her she starts getting visibly impatient, grabbing your hair and forcing your tongue to apply more pressure.

"Come on, stop fucking teasing me." she whined. You softly chuckled when suddenly you grabbed her thighs and spread them out more, making her gasp. Without any warning, you start eating her out. Ellie couldn't help but moan at the sudden change in intensity, one of her hand grasping a lock of your hair as the other one covered her face.

You glance up to look at her and for a minute you pause : "Don't hide your face." She silently nods and interlocks your hand with yours and you continue to stimulate her. After a while of getting her wet, you finally slowly insert a finger inside of her, making her slightly arch her back. You look at her, silently asking for permission to move and she nods desperately. You slowly start moving, trying to find the right spot and after a while you hear a sudden gasp and her tightening around your finger. You smirk proudly, then add another finger. You start moving faster and faster, her breathing was getting heavier as your other hand grabbed her breast, teasing it.

Her moans became more and more loud, it was driving you crazy. You could feel her getting closer by the way she was squeezing you with her thighs.

"'m gonna cum...please- I- I love you so fucking mu-" she manages to blurt out. The sudden confession made you so riled up, you began to pound your fingers into her faster until the wave of pleasure washed over her.

After her breathing started steadying, you slowly removed your fingers and leaned down to kiss her forehead. "I've been waiting to hear that for years...I love you too, Ellie" you whisper.

''Fuck...me too, you should've told me earlier.'' she says while she tries to shakily hug you, holding you even closer to her warm body. You smile in her neck, sighing in relief. Ellie still continues to pour her heart out to you; ''Since we were teenagers, I've always dreamed of this moment..but I was scared to tell you, I didn't even know if you like girls.'' she says, you finally face her, pecking her pink lips. ''I'm sorry, I was stupid, if I told you earlier..'' she looks at you lovingly but at the same time a bit sad that it took her so long. You couldn't care about the past, you were so happy that the feelings were finally mutual. You grab her face, kissing her passionately to shut her up while muttering into her kiss.

''It's okay, we have each other now." you quietly say while the moon watches over you.

author’s note: if this doesn’t get popular I’m going to hang myself. ☺️

[total-dxmure]

✦ MARLEY AND ME →【ELLIE WILLIAMS】→ CHAPTER FOUR

pairing: modern!ellie williams x single mom!reader

summary: you’re a single mom just doing the best that she can to make ends meet. ellie can’t help but think that you're the kindest, most beautiful girl that she’s ever met. compared to taking care a little girl that's in her terrible twos, coming to terms with the fact that you’re a lesbian is a walk in the park. awkward first encounters, ellie’s broken gay-dar, and her overwhelming urge to take care of the care-giver. . . the road to domesticity is a long one, but it’s well worth the pining that it takes to get there.

warnings: eventual substance use, no use of y/n (you have nicknames/petnames), the reader is marley’s biological mother, talk of coming to terms with ones sexuality, mention of a shitty baby daddy ( though there is no co-parenting between them), ellie is a total girl mom, lots and lots of fluff, ellie is an anxious dork in this fic, reader is broke but happy, ellie takes pride in being a provider, this is going to be a multi-part fic, ellie is an absolute simp for the reader since chapter one and will remain her #1 fan.

The knock on the door is to the tune “Head Over Heels”- or at least you think it is. Ellie doesn’t have enough time to fully get through the chorus before you’re yanking it open, cheeks flushed all pretty and eyes wide. They glitter in the dim sunlight like jewels, staring up at her like she was the one that hung the moon. Ellie’s got that same dumb look on her face; mossy eyes wrinkled at the corners from the force of her smile. You would never know that she’s been up since seven o’clock in the morning, cramming for an exam that she had aced. She’d talked to Joel for the fifteen minutes that it took to get to your house, bragging on and on about how much easier it had been than she’d initially thought that it would be.

He let her brag. Of course he did. She wasn’t quite as talkative as she had been when she was a teenager, but she was still famous for her little tangents. Joel was good at listening, and Ellie? Well, she was a professional yapper. It was a match made in heaven.

Ellie smells like lavender, musk and patchouli incense. The scent of it clings to her hair and clothes. She’d mentioned a couple of times that she was a daily smoker, but she made sure to go out of her way to never smell when she was over at your place. The thought of your daughter cuddling to her when she smelled. . . funky made her cringe.

There’s a moment of appreciative silence as she stands on your front porch. The two of you just stare at each other, breathing the scent of each other in. The novelty still isn’t lost as far as your courting goes either. You can’t imagine the nervous butterflies ever going away. They’ve made a cage out of your ribs, fluttering away madly in your chest.

“Hey,” She breathes through her smile, her eyes dancing over your features. “Did I miss anything exciting?”

You look absolutely exhausted. Gorgeous, but exhausted nonetheless. Ellie has noticed that you do a very good job at putting others' needs before your own. You’d been at work for two whole hours before Ellie had even woken up this morning, and now you felt like you were on autopilot. You’d walked to your mom’s to pick Marley up, gotten her bathed and dressed in little play overalls and now the two of you were spending some quality time together. You could barely keep your eyes open, and yet you knew that you wouldn’t be able to get your screaming toddler to sleep for at least another three hours.

“Marles and I are making homemade play-doh right now,” You opened the door wider, tempting her into the house with a sweet smile. Who was Ellie to deny you of all people? “She’s been excited ever since I told her that you were coming over.”

Marley had taken to Ellie like a bee to honey.

The college student hadn’t had too many opportunities to be around children- especially ones as young as Marley was. She was unfamiliar with the tiny sticky hands, drooly mouths and unpredictable attitudes. Still, she was a natural. Marley gravitated towards her. Ellie was sure that the constant presents and sweet treats buttered her up, but she would be selling herself short if she claimed that those were the only reason that your daughter loved her so much.

Your three year old babbled from the kitchen, excitedly trying to piece together a sentence. Ellie closed the door behind herself, only to sweep you up into a bone crushing hug. Your laugh was muffled by the fabric of her soft cotton button up as you nuzzled your face into her neck. Closer, closer, closer. If she could absorb you into her body she would. It was hard to describe the level of admiration she felt for you. It was too early to classify it as “love”, but she supposed she did love you and Marley. Being in your house, as small as it was, felt right to her.

“I missed you.” You mumbled, arms fastened tight around her waist.

She barely had enough time to brush a gentle peck to your lips before Marley was bounding around the corner, bare feet slapping against the linoleum floors. You’d recently learned that wearing socks wasn’t a good idea. Your poor little girl had slipped and fallen far too many times for your liking.

Marley had become more comfortable in her body, which meant she was now running, jumping and climbing. Just a year ago you had been relieved that she could walk by herself without you holding her hand, and now keeping her off of your furniture was an impossible task. Nothing had prepared you for the constant changes that came with motherhood. You blinked and suddenly she was sassy and genuinely funny. She complimented you when you were wearing something unusually flashy and wanted you to put blush on her while you were getting the both of you ready so that she could “look like mommy”.

You never expected anyone outside of your family and close friends to appreciate your daughter in the same way that you did.

But then there was Ellie.

Self indulgent. Waking up this happy felt sinful.

Your fingers gently glide over her gentle planes and curves, making a map in your mind of every inch of her. Each freckles a continent, each line a river.

You didn’t want to wake Ellie, too frightened that you might break whatever magic spell was currently suspended in the air between the two of you. This moment between you felt too good to be true, and that scarred little voice inside of you that you loathed so much was begging you to enjoy this while it lasted.

You were always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Happiness was fleeting. You felt like you didn’t deserve whatever was going on between the two of you. Your entire identity for the last three years has been summed up in a singular label: “ a mother”. You were a sexless, wantless, selfless creature meant only to teach and please. How dare you need a night off. How dare you choose yourself over an abusive relationship. How dare you need, want, desire, change.

But this? This was nice.

No, it was better than nice. Great? No. . . It was perfect. She was perfect. And that terrified you. Ellie scared the absolute shit out of you, and yet you couldn’t take a step back. It was like you were falling head first for a very, very long time. The ground is nowhere in sight.

You were free falling and you had no clue where you would end up when all was said and done. It felt selfish to put so much effort and care into so many new things at once. Especially since those new things could shatter your heart into a million pieces at any second. You knew that Ellie didn’t owe you anything. She was nice enough to give you a chance despite all of your faults. Your baggage had become too heavy for you to hold at times, so how could you ever expect someone else to help pick up the slack?

You weren’t even sure what the two of you were doing together. The two of you hadn’t put a label on your relationship, but she’d brought you flowers yesterday when she popped by for a movie night. She’d even gotten a small bouquet for Marley, who was far too small to appreciate them for longer than five minutes.

Ellie wasn’t your girlfriend, but she’d slipped Marley’s shoes on for her before you’d all left the house last night to pick up dinner. Ellie wasn’t your girlfriend, but she’d spent the night with you last night in your bed. Ellie wasn’t your girlfriend, but she’d held you all throughout the night.

She didn’t even try to get handsy at all last night, probably having seen the exhaustion written all over your face. She kissed you because she wanted to show you affection. She held you because she wanted to be close.

What you didn’t know was that Ellie felt the same way that you did. She was lost as to when to ask the dreaded “what are we?” question. The thought of pushing you away or losing you was agonizing, so instead she had deluded herself into thinking that she didn’t have to define things. It was clear that she liked you, right?

She’d never felt this way about anybody before. This wasn’t like any other crushes she’d had in the past. She felt fresh and new. Ellie even felt like she looked a bit different when she looked in a mirror. There was a glow to her; a sense of happiness that wasn’t just rare for her but something that she had once deemed an impossibility. She felt changed for the better.

It was easy to love Marley. It had happened naturally- like breathing. You don’t have to remember how to breathe. . . it just happens. With you it was different. Obsessive, maddening, all inhabiting affection. You’d wrapped your dainty hands around her heart tight, tight, tight. Every skip and butterfly is a gentle reminder that this was something. The both of you are something, and that is enough.

She smiles before she even has her eyes open. She can feel your fingers on her bare arms, and for a second she ponders whether or not she’s in heaven. . . or perhaps still dreaming. Waking up in your bed, the scent of your shampoo on all of the pillows and your soft hands on her- she could die right there, your room, her tomb. The headboard, her headstone.

“Are you real?” She whispers, her voice hoarse and still thick with sleep. She’s looking at you with those great, big green eyes. Your eyes are glued to the small collection of freckles just above her top lip, but you hear her.

“M’ real.” You mumble out a confirmation, propping your head up on your hand so that you can lean over her. You know your hair is a mess. . . but she’s studying your face with a silent sort of appreciation that has your throat feeling thick with emotion.

She’s soft. Ellie’s soft and wants to take care of you. She showers you and your daughter with affection without ever having to be asked to. Why? Because she wants to do it. You find it hard to believe that anyone would want to go out of their way like this. Especially for someone like you. You were a young mother who hadn’t gone to college. You lived in a tiny house, operated paycheck to paycheck, and had a few stretch marks on your tummy. You weren’t perfect. Not like Ellie deserved.

So why was she looking at you like that?

Oh god, how she stared at you. Her eyes were velvet soft as her eyes flickered over your face, taking in every feature. She’d never woken up next to you before. Your bedhead and glassy eyes had her heart blooming with warmth. The ceiling fan had a few strands of your hair falling into your eyes. She took the opportunity to tuck them behind your ear, feeling the softness of your skin. She committed that to memory too.

“I really like this.” Ellie finally admits, bottom jaw quivering a bit. She fiddles with her fingers under your comforter, a nervous habit.

“What?” You ask her incredulously. If Ellie’s eyes weren’t open she’d still know you were smiling. She could hear it in the way you spoke, and it had her seeing stars. And Ellie really, really loved stars. “Looking at my bedhead? You better not take any pictures.” You were already smoothing your hair down with your hands, brushing through a few tangles.

She caught your arms, shaking her head the best she could with it still resting on your pillows. “Waking up next to you. Being here with you two- this is really nice.” It was more than nice, but she didn’t want to scare you away by coming on too strongly.

You opened your mouth, getting ready to agree with her, but the familiar sound of tiny feet had you sitting up fully so that you could turn and face the doorway. You shot Ellie an apologetic smile, but she merely shook her head, sitting up as well with a small smile. She didn’t seem burdened by the existence of your daughter, which was something you weren’t used to.

Marley’s hair was an absolute disaster, per usual. It looked like she’d been caught headfirst in a tornado,wispy hairs bobbing as she shuffled closer to the bed in her footie pajamas. She had insisted on wearing them last night despite the fact that it wasn’t exactly cold enough for them. Her cheeks were pink and it was obvious that she had sweat in her sleep last night. You felt a tinge of guilt for letting her get her way, praying that Ellie didn’t think you were a bad mother for giving in so easily to her sweet demands. Sometimes it was impossible to say no to her.

She stood at the side of the bed for a few seconds, eyes still half lidded and dazed with sleep. For a second she just stared at you and Ellie, as if trying to connect the dots that someone else was in your house. It was incredibly unusual to have guests over at the house. . . well, that was before Ellie. Marley climbed up onto the bed, pushing away your eager hands when you tried to reach out for her.

Your little girl was headed straight for Ellie. You bit the inside of your cheek, feigning a look of jealousy when Marley wrapped her tiny arms around the other woman’s neck. Ellie’s eyes widened as she held the small girl to her chest, cheeks growing warm when she realized just how much your daughter liked her. She wanted to blame the constant presents and sweet treats, but that wasn’t the case. Marley loved Ellie because she was patient with her. She took the time to sit down with her, ask her questions- hell, Ellie even played with her, which your own mother often wasn’t in the mood to do.

“I can’t believe you, Marles.” You gasped out, nose wrinkling in faux dismay. You rubbed her arm up and down, trying to gently get her attention. Marley looked up at you through her long lashes, plopping her head down on Ellie’s shoulder in a very dramatic, very Marley fashion.

“She chose me fair and square.” Ellie boasted, using her hand to try and smooth down her crazy bedhead.

You took a mental picture, eyes pinching at the corners with the force of your smile. Marley had curled herself up into a ball and didn’t seem prepared to budge any time soon. Ellie didn’t even attempt to hand her off to you. Instead the woman stood up with a small groan, her black sweatpants hanging low on her waist. You tried not to stare at the exposed flesh of her stomach as her tank top rode up but failed miserably. The brunette turned her head to face you, having felt the heat of your gaze, and the both of you exchanged a knowing smile.

“She has her legs pulled up to her chest,” Ellie said with a chuckle, her arms secured tightly around your child. “You’re like a little potato.” She pressed a quick kiss to Marley’s hair when the tiny girl started giggling at the comparison.

“M’ not!” Marley squealed, sticky hands tanging into Ellie’s cropped hair. You watched as she gave her hair a tug, your stomach tensing in panic.

You started to stand up, ready to scold your daughter for her rough treatment, but Ellie was already walking down the hall. You sat in disbelief for a second, questioning whether or not you should go in and check on the two of them. You so rarely had time to yourself like this. It felt wrong to take advantage of this opportunity, but you had a feeling that Ellie had done this on purpose.

Was she trying to drop hints that you looked bad? You were absolutely exhausted last night, so you wouldn’t be surprised if your face was a mess and your clothes in disarray. You anxiously raked through your hair, kicking the tangled sheets off of your legs so that you could run to the nearest mirror.

“Are pancakes for breakfast alright?” Ellie had ducked her head back into the bedroom, a beaming Marley still propped up on her hip. You jumped at the sudden voice, glaring in her direction as she chuckled at your expense.

You weren’t used to being so hard on yourself as far as your appearance goes. Impressing people, these days, was the last thing on your mind. Ellie felt the same way though. She’d be a liar if she said that she hadn’t checked herself out in the mirror you had in the living room, anxious that she looked like hammered dog shit after drooling all over your pillow.

The weight of your head on her chest had her sleeping like a damn baby last night. Marley had acted as a wonderful distraction from her own embarrassment, especially when she realized the back of her hair was practically sticking straight up.

What you didn’t know was that she’d never spent the night with a girl. Not romantically, at least. The both of you were in the exact same anxious boat, and while Ellie knew that she was your first, you had no inkling that you were a lot of her firsts as well.

“Pancakes?” You parroted back to her, wetting your dry lips.

You began tallying up totals in your head, trying to figure out whether or not you had the cash to grab breakfast. You would like to treat Ellie and Marley. . . but after paying the water and the power bill two days ago, you barely had enough to put gas in your car. You felt your cheeks heating up as you tried to come up with a nice way to say “I don’t have the money for pancakes” without sounding like a shitty adult and an even shittier mother.

Ellie could see the way you were over thinking things, her eyes nervously flickering to your closet. You only had a few articles of clothing for yourself, and yet she’d never seen Marley wear the same outfit twice. She’d seen you with your calculator at the grocery store, nervously staring at a total. She knew that you weren’t financially secure- you were a young single mother. The brunette smiled at you, shoving her hands in her pockets as she leaned against the doorframe.

“I make really good pancakes, and it looks like you have everything I need. Marley would be an amazing help too. She’d make my job a lot easier.” She rocked back on the heels of her gray socks, biting the inside of her cheek as she looked at you.

You looked nervous, tired, and adorable as hell. Your band t-shirt was rumpled with sleep and you were standing in tiny white socks, all self conscious and overly critical. She wanted to kiss you… but she hadn’t brushed her teeth.

“Let me go ahead and take her to the bathroom first,” You ran through your daily checklist in your mind, though not forgetting to flash her a thankful smile that nearly had the girl’s legs buckling. “Oh! Uh. . . I have an extra toothbrush. You can have it. Do you want to use the restroom first? It’ll give me some time to get her outfit together for the day.”

Ellie wanted to be selfless and tell you that she didn’t want to go first, but her breath was probably stale and the last thing she wanted was for you to be grossed out by her. She couldn’t fuck this up. She refused to.

You found Marley in her bedroom, having already strewn toys around the room. You let out a small huff of breath, realizing that today was probably going to be a rough one. Each day was different with your little girl. One day she was a perfect angel, only doing what she was told. Other days. . . well, rambunctious didn’t fully encompass her level of energy. Today was going to be one of those days.

“Alrighty, Marles! Let’s pick out a pretty outfit, alright?” You started to walk to her closet, but froze as she began shaking her head. “You don’t want to put on a dress? Or what about some overalls so you can play better?”

“No!” She screamed, running to the other side of her room so that she could grab a few more stuffed animals off of her bed. She tossed those on the ground too, even going as far as to plop down on the floor.

You had hoped that Ellie wouldn’t see this. At least. . . not so soon into the relationship. If she couldn’t accept Marley on bad days like this then you knew she wasn’t the right person for you, but still- you had hoped to slowly introduce this lifestyle to her. Not flat out throw her to the metaphorical wolves. Or. . . to Marley. You felt your bottom lip quiver, but you caught it between your teeth, giving it a few nervous chews before you sat down next to her.

“Do you want to stay in your pajamas?” Your tone was nothing but loving and patient. You were used to this, but Ellie wasn’t. You could only pray that she could accept you. All of you.

“Yes! Please, mommy.” She was getting better at articulating her thoughts and feelings. You found it impossible to deny her when she spoke to you like this. Especially when she asked politely.

So you found herself nodding, flashing her a megawatt smile that she happily returned. You could make a special day out of this. Pancakes and pajamas? It sounded heavenly.

“You’re so polite, baby girl! Alright, we’ll stay in our pajamas today. How about that? And Ellie said that you’re going to help her make breakfast. Are you going to be a big help?”

“Yeah.” She replied, already focused on the baby doll in front of her.

Her hands were still stained a little pink from making the play-doh last night. Once she remembers that she has that to play with too, you can only imagine the mess she’ll make on your dining room table.

You’re beautiful and patient. Ellie watches the two of you interact from the hallway, her breath all minty and her smile all wide. She thinks that she can live like this forever.

And she prays that she gets to.

@viswifetotallyreal​  @lillysbigwilly​  @overtrred28​  @corpsebridenightamare​ @jokerpokimoon @macaroni676 @eveshyper @lil-elliesgf @fuckingstarellie @gold-dustwomxn @madislayyy @moonbluz @vianna99 @sawaagyapong @mrsromanoff @glory-grl @sadeyedsugar @inf3ct3dd @teatimedisaster @laucalo @ellieswilliamsgf @machetegirl109 @moonchild184 @onlinelesbo @lasting-lover @luvrrcharr @koremis @elsmissingfingers @whoreshores @crxmxnzl-c0rpzes @circe-is-struggling @cqrrnts @elliewilliamsmiller0 @harrysslutsstuff @shewantstoknow @laundrybag29 @darkerstarsstuff @elliesdesperatewife @rulerzreachf4n44 @eviestevie-14 @deliriousrn @diddiqueen @bready101 @felsweb @jaeminpookie @elliesswearjar @2012wannabe @abbysbae @boobabietch @amorqts

[ellieschair]

don't text me, ex ellie williams one shot

sinopse: you and ellie broke up due to her commitment issues and you've been non contact until she calls.

cw: lowercase intended, swearing and alcohol use and "drunk"? sex, semi public sex, not explicit if reader is fem or masc. use of nicknames like babe and my love.

wc: 2,9k

nsfw/smut: tit play (r receiving), clit stim and pinching (e receiving), fingering (e receiving), cum eating (r)... i think thats it?

a/n: okay uh im gonna kms bc this was meant for @itsbecomeblue but alright.

you and ellie had broken up a few months ago. you have been no contact ever since, you blocked her everywhere except her number. you told her not to contact you if she didn't need anything.

but she'd called today.

you were in bed with your best friend kamala, she noticed you suddenly sitting up.

“what?” she touches your shoulder as you look at the screen. “ellie? don't pick up, y/n” she looks at the phone over your shoulder.

“i told her to only contact me if she needs anything…” you sigh, but the phone stops ringing and you bite your lip as you look at kamala, worried expression.

“hey, if she actually needs anything she'll either call again or text.” she pats your shoulder and you nod.

ellie doesn't call again, but you get a text.

«sorry about that, hope ur okay»

“um, i guess she didn't mean to call.” you roll your eyes after texting her back with a «don't worry, hope ur okay 2», which she saw and reacted with hearts.

“girl, yes she did, she let that thing ring for ages.” kamala scoffed.

“whatever kami, let's just forget about that. she's literally with cat.”

“it's insane that she broke up with you because she ‘couldn't be in a relationship’ and ‘felt trapped’ and now she's with cat.”

“i know but well, she just couldn't be in our relationship i guess.” you chuckle and hug kamala. “why are we still talking about this shit…?”

and then you drop this subject, and it was true… ellie broke up with you along those lines. she had met you at your house and held your hand, kissed your forehead before leaving. now, she has been going out with cat. you hadn't completely moved on but what's over it's over, you didn't want any messiness.

weeks pass by, you usually see ellie at college, you both curl your lips in an awkward smile. you do it out of respect but it hurts to act like you were never close.

today wasn't any different, film class and you're sat at the back. she got in late, she sat down at the front. you noticed her and followed her with your eyes but you didn't expect her to look around to the back of the class.

you lock eyes and she stares a little before turning back, you feel uneasy. class passed by and you don't interact in any way and you decide to talk to her after class.

she gets ready to leave and you run down the classes stairs to catch her.

“ellie.” you call out reaching for her shoulder but she turns around to face you before you can.

her green eyes pierce through yours, you hadn't seen those freckles from so close in months. you blink a few times in a roll.

“um… yeah? sorry i called.” her voice is raspy and she looks awkward, as if you don't know each other.

“you let the phone ring.” you mumble, her eyebrows almost touch as she looks confused.

“yes? i'm sorry.” she takes a step back as you do the same.

“so you meant to call. it wasn't a mistake?” you ask, you sound calmer.

“yeah, i did… but i know i shouldn't have, you did the right thing by not picking up.” she looks at your lips for a second before you curl them up in a sympathetic smile.

“i was going to. thought you might have needed something.” you hold your own shoulder. “you okay?”

“no, yeah… i'm okay i was just… i don't know.” she rambles awkwardly and you chuckle. “are… you okay?”

it felt weird talking to her, but she was still the same. she toyed with her fingers nervously as she always did.

“yeah, i am.” you breathed out before straightening your back. “what did you wanna say?”

“that, i've… been” she chokes on her words, you examine ber face, letting her speak. “thinking ‘bout you.” now it's your turn to internally choke.

“you don't need to tell me that.” you bite your lip as you start walking down the starts and she does the same as everyone's leaving the classroom.

she lowers her head to face her feet as she thinks of what to say but all she says is “i know.” you turn to face her after you leave the classroom.

“i'll see you” you say, she nods and leaves as you walk towards the bathroom.

your eyes water as soon as you enter the bathroom, you let out the breath you had been involuntarily holding. you decided this meant no contact was as rough as her as on you, even worse since she decided to call you at 3pm on a random saturday. but it didn't mean anything other than that, it's hard not to talk to someone you used to talk all the time and you understood that.

when you're walking to your next class you see cat running towards ellie and jesse. she kisses both of their cheeks and you wave to them, mostly jesse, who gives you a sympathetic look and waves back. cat doesn't see you until ellie raises her hand, cat waves at you then.

you and cat were neighbors during all your childhood, she was really nice, artistic, down to earth but still had a bubbly personality. you honestly liked her, which hurt.

kamala had texted you about this party next saturday at dina's, her cousin who ‘happened’ to be jesse's long term girlfriend and ellie's best friend. you, dina and kamala had been friends since the start of college and your breakup with ellie wouldn't change that.

ellie would obviously be there, so you decided to give it more than one thought. you didn't want to see her if it made you feel so small, but you couldn't stop doing what you usually do just to avoid her.

so you decided to go. you hadn't talked to dina that much about ellie to be honest, you didn't want this to become something where people had sides to take.

you and kamala go to the party a little later than supposed, the party was already crowded. you find dina and walk up to her to hug her.

“hey dina! nice party.” you hug her excitedly and she chuckles as she pats your back.

“it's a generic one, thanks though baby” she looks at you up and down as you back away. “you look good, girl.”

“you look hot, dee.” you smile wide and she gives you a gentle push towards her drink table. “go grab a drink, you too kamala!” she calls her cousin out.

kamala starts grabbing a drink but your eyes land on ellie, who was at the corner of the room. she saw you and stepped away from the wall she was leaning on.

“is ellie here with cat?” you ask dina as ellie walks up to you. dina nods no. “really?”

“yeah, they went out a few times but ellie said they were better off as friends…its been a while already” she shrugs.

“i see.” you tense up as ellie gets closer. “hey ellie.”

“what's up?” she smiles as she nodded at dina.

“nothing…” you shrug, your lower lip between your teeth and she clicks her tongue, staring you down.

“yeah umm, can we… maybe talk? i mean, i will text you?” she asks in a lower tone, you look around for nothing.

“sure, we can. what about?” dina had leave your side, and you were left alone with her and some strangers next to the wall.

“me. i miss you.” she breathes out and you squint your eyes. “i do. can we please talk?”

“didn't you feel trapped with me? in our relationship?” you scratch your forearm. she takes your hand off it and you look up at her.

“no, i felt trapped but it wasn't you who trapped me. you never limited me. i just wanted to get out a bit, try new things maybe.” you scoff and snap your hand from hers.

“you needed a break from me? to try out new things? like what…? cat?” you sound annoyed by all this now and she's quick to argue.

“no…no, y/n. i thought i did but… i still miss you alright? and cat… i thought could move on to something but i didn't”

“ellie, i'm sorry but… you can still move on. i'm… sorry it didn't work out with cat? but that has nothing to do with me.” you try to call down as she gulps and looks to the side.

“i'm sorry.” she mutters, she sounds embarrassed but she nods. “you're right. i can move on, i don't want to.”

“ellie, this is not the place for this but… yeah we can talk, i can text you.” you sigh and she nods.

“alright, text me when you can.” you nod and leave to find kamala.

you tell her about it and she says ellie is embarrassing herself and you can only say you feel bad but also annoyed by this behavior. you see ellie a few times during the party and you just smile at each other.

you definitely still love ellie, you do wish you had never broken up but it was her who did this and you didn't feel like you could get back together just like that. you'd let her say what she had to say, you respected her, but you didn't think this would end up in rekindling things.

you were dancing with kamala, a little drunk already, when you felt a little hot. you went into the kitchen to grab water. ellie was there, her hand on her forehead.

“hey…” she looks up, recognizing your shoes. she looked a little drunk herself, cheeks flushed. “are you okay?” she saw you stumble.

“yeah i'm fine actually, i have been drinking though, came for a water bottle.” you chuckle and she nods a little as she holds her own head. “who's driving you home?”

“ugh… actually… no one” she chuckles back and shoot her an worried look. “hey, don't worry i'll wait until i sober up a little, i know it was dumb but it's okay.”

“yeah… you better… drink some water maybe.” you walk up to her with another water bottle, she takes it and mumbles a ‘thank you’.

“i feel like the floor's kinda moving.” she looks up to you now.

“you're just light headed. and a lightweight.” you chuckle as you get closer to her.

“yeah right…” she laughs and looks at your lips as you get closer. “you smell nice.” she takes a huge sip out the water and grabs your hand pulling you closer, you let her.

“thank you, you look real good.” your drunken self speaks and she leans on your shoulder, you feel her breath against your neck, making your breath heavier.

“you've such pretty lips.” she mumbles as she lifts her head back up and her lips ghosts against yours. she holds you closer as you hold her arms.

your alcohol breaths fan eachother's lips and faces, you hands fall on her torso and she grabs your hips.

“i wanna kiss you.” you drop your face on the crook of her neck and you sigh. she puts her water bottle down on the marble you were both leaned against only to cup your face, making you face her again.

“you know i'll kiss you back.” and you kiss her, liquor tasting kiss as your tongue pass through her lips.

she moans when you do, holding you so close your leg ends in the middle of hers. you're now running your hand up and down her torso and hip. her arms wrapped around you.

“needed this.” she groans and your grab her hair tightly.

“i need you.” you reply, kissing her deeply. she moans again, her hand finds your thigh and she lifts it.

“have me” she whispers in your ear. she's thrusting her hips as he holds your leg up by your thigh.

you make out feverishly, kisses your neck and you start panting and she grins against your neck. you felt your panties damp.

“bathroom?” you suggest as she starts shamelessly grinding her clothed pussy on your thigh. she nods frantically mumbling ‘please's as she lets go of your thigh and grabs your hand.

she pushes your body with her own, grabbing your waist to turn you around, her crotch against your ass as she walks you to the bathroom.

“don't trip, babe.” she jokes and kisses your neck.

“make sure you don't either, my love.” you giggle and now she's next to you. you look at eachother.

her cheeks are flushed pink and you smile at her, she opens the bathroom door and you get in. she kisses you now, grabbing your ass.

“i want you so bad, y/n. please.” she kisses your neck and you push her back. “what?”

“block the door.” you kiss her as her back hits the door, her hand is running up and down your back and around your hips. “missed you so fucking much.” you nibble her neck and she moans.

“i missed you, this. i need you right now” her hands go up your shirt and she sounds needy as fuck, grinding poorly on your hips. your hands find her stomach. “it's been too fucking long.”

you can feel your clit throb as she talks to you. you suck her earlobe and she grinds even more.

“so eager…” she pinches your nipple when you tease her, you whine out and she kisses you again.

“take this off, babe.” she says, tugging your shirt and you do what she tells you to. she goes in on your tits immediately. “yeah? you like that?” she asks as she nibbles the skin before sucking your nipple.

you moan and whimper holding her hair, she only stops when she feels your fingers tugging her belt.

“let me touch you.” you ask, she quickly unlatches her belt and you unzip her pants.

“i can't do this anymore…” she tilts her head back and you give her what she wants, tugging her jeans down.

you cup her pussy over her boxers and she moans, head hitting your shoulder.

“wet and warm, huh?” you whisper and she starts kissing you again. groping your tits with one hand and the other on your back.

your fingers ghost her slit, but you start caressing her inner thigh and hips, opening her legs. she grunts and starts trying to grind her pussy on your hand, which makes you press her hips against the door.

“stay still, now, alright? i'll get to it… promise.” you mumble, enjoying her body and how eager she was.

she nods, now grabbing your ass and thighs. you kiss her cheek and tug her panties to the side

“good girl” she grunts when your fingers run over her sticky slit. she was soaked in her slick.

you tease her clit and entrance with your fingertips, she moans and tried to grind against you.

“fuck, be quick with it.” she grunts and you frown. “please.” you slide two fingers into her pussy when she pleads. she gasps and grips your hair, taking your lips in a sloppy kiss.

she grinds her clit against your hand as you thrust your fingers in and out at the perfect pace she never stopped thinking about.

“more.” she moans between kisses.

“more what?” you start rubbing her clit with your other hand. “this?” she moans and nods.

“yeah… thanks.” you chuckle as she thanks you, kissing her neck again.

you look up at her eyes closed and cheeks flushed pink, her hands moving from your back to your shoulders. you speed up as you look at her.

you get the vision you wanted, her closed eyes squint, broken pants leave her open lips… you moan at the sight and the feeling of her wet pussy clenching around your fingers and her legs shaking, threatening to close around your hand.

“oh… you feel so good ellie, fuck.” you pinch her clit and she moans louder “yeah, keep those legs open for me.”

she cries out as she nods, her pussy clenching hard when you moan seeing her cry.

“please i'm so close.” she grunts through gritted teeth. “don't stop.”

“relax, you're so tight…” her stomach tenses and she relaxes and you reach deeper. “god…” you moan.

she moans non stop and her legs shake even more as she cums all over your fingers. you fuck her slowly as she comes down from her orgasm, hand leaving her clit.

you're both panting and she holds you by your back as you take your fingers out of her pussy only to look down and see her creamy cum on your fingertips and around her entrance. your pussy throbs at the sight.

you weakly get on your knees, sucking her cum off your fingers to lick the cum on her pussy. she grips your shoulders.

“you're so good to me.” she mumbles as you get up, tugging her boxers and pants up.

[elliebarker]

one of the many. ( e williams )

category: modern!college/university!ellie x female!reader : angst, fluff

summary: after her devastating heartbreak with her first girlfriend in highschool, ellie swore off dating, everything she did was casual, non-committal. that was until you showed up. (basically logan and rory troupe but make it happy)

warnings: alcohol consumption, implied smut, “friends with benefits”, cheating(?), use of the word “baby”, a somewhat copy of rory and logan’s fight, fuck boy!ellie (LMAO I’M SORRY).

word count: 2.1k

it had been almost three years since ellie’s first, and only, breakup with her ex-girlfriend, cat. she was older now, more mature, i mean for god’s sake she was a junior in college she couldn’t still be hung up on some stupid girl from highschool. that is why she had resorted to this. one girl in today, another one tomorrow. no attachments. casual. she was hanging out in a cramped party at her friend's house, sipping something alcoholic, with one, two, girls on her arm, laughing and giggling and tracing their fingers up and down her fore-arm tattoo. she was, enjoying herself, she guessed. the party life wasn’t exactly dull, it was the crowd she was surrounded with, a bunch of drunken girls over-exaggerating their laugh so that she’ll go home with them. she wasn’t opposed to it, if fact she probably needed to let loose and celebrate the compilation of one of her tests, she just hadn’t found the right girl yet. that's when she spotted you. an absolutely gorgeous girl, trying to find your way through the crowd. and she immediately took the opportunity to…introduce… herself.

“hey girl,” ellie said, wrapping an arm around your shoulder, her action causing your spaghetti strap to fall slightly lower on your shoulder. “i’m ellie, what’s your name?” she asked and you introduced yourself, pulling your strap back to a more comfortable position, and smiled up at her. fuck it ellie thought i’m just gonna go for it. “wanna get out of here?” she asked, earning a smirk and a cheeky ‘sure’ from you as she led you out of the party’s front door.

ellie woke up and stretched her fingers, sore from last night, to see your body draped in and out of the sheets of her bed, still resting. her heart fluttered a little but she chose to ignore it. she sighed, clearly, you didn’t know how this worked. but it was early, and she had never slept with you before, so she gave you cut slack, she’d find a way to get you up and out of her apartment later. a few minutes passed and your body started to feel the lack of ellie’s presence. you woke up in a dingy bedroom full of music posters and scattered clothes. one pile, of which, being yours. your legs were sore as you stood up and grabbed your clothes off the floor, with a little shame in realizing the reality of your situation. you eventually got up all of your belongings and went to find ellie.

“hey,” you greeted, voice hearse and sleepy, as you walked up behind ellie’s sitting figure in the living room. she was wearing new clothes, jeans and a shirt, layered with a flannel with her hair half up pulled into a lazy barely-ponytail. her eyes racked up your body, hair messy and outfit sagged from it being thrown off the night before. “so, um, do you want my number or? i’m sorry i haven’t really done any of this before…” you stuttered on your words.

“look,” she said getting up from the couch, “i like you,” she began, “i really do. it’s just i’m not really into all that relationship crap, you know? i don’t feel like i should be tied down to someone.” she explained, moving her hand to rub the back of her neck. 

“oh no i get that,” you lied, “i just, was hoping we can still…hang out.” you said, trying to come as casual as you could.

“oh no, definitely,” ellie said, smirking, as she looked you up and down. you kissed her on the check before you said goodbye. and that’s how it was. at least once a week you’d be over at her place, ‘hanging out’. it was nice. nice, until, “hey,” ellie said whilst scrolling through her phone, looking over at you gathering up your clothes, “down to go to a party?” she asked.

“sure!” you said, a smile rising to your face at the anticipation of spending time with ellie, outside the arrangement the two of you had. you went inside ellie’s bathroom, it was small and a little dingy, in order to fix up your hair and get ready to face the outside world. once you were both ready to leave, ellie locked the front door behind her and walked you to her car. it wasn’t until you were both buckled into her car and driving down to some girl’s house with her hand on your thigh that you realized you and ellie would be out together in public for the first time. i mean, sure, you’d see the other girls ellie was hooking up with but she decided to come to the party with you. you. ellie eventually pulled up to a house and slipped out of her car, with you not far behind. it was obvious with the loud music and yelling coming from the white brick house which one would be entering. you slipped through the front door with ellie by your side and went around to make conversation with the few people you knew here. you knew ellie wouldn’t want you clinging to her side the whole night. more than a few moments passed and pop music remixes blared through low-quality speakers all around the house. you did your best to socialize, and decided to look around and find ellie. luckily, she was in sight. on the other side of a heep of sweaty, dancing bodies. you were going to make your way over until an arm stopped you. the arm tan and delicate resting atop ellie’s knee whilst she sat atop the kitchen’s barstool. you felt a green-monster flash of despair, both anger and sadness. of course ellie wasn’t yours, but fuck, did your delusional-ass-self really think you meant something to her? something more than just a girl she fucks? acid rain fell from your eyes as you stormed your way out of the crowded jungle of drunken bodies. time had passed and you’d gone numb. you’d rationalized it. you and ellie weren’t exclusive, you knew that. so why did that girl fucking bother you so much? it wasn’t her fault, of course, she didn’t know. and that's the thing, know what? exactly, nothing. that’s what you were to ellie, nothing, disposable, replaceable. but your whole pissed-off attitude disappeared into a mear thought when she approached you, body lanky and oh so attractive.

“what’s with this whole ignoring me thing?” ellie laughed, leaning against the wall next to you, looking over your pouting frame. you didn’t want to start anything, god knows you didn’t, but the edging creepy feeling of jealousy washed over you.

“what was that?” you asked simply, not-answering her question with another.

“what was what?” she asked, seeming genuinely confused. you sighed, then began again, uttering the first answer to a question since the conversation first started.

“her…” you said, looking around the room for the girl ellie was with earlier, “that…girl…you were all flirty with.”

“oh,” ellie sounded surprised, “that’s dina,” ellie laughed, “another, friend, of mine.”

“friend?” you asked, as if you doubted her use of the word, “that’s what i am?” you asked, jestering to yourself, “a fucking friend?” you saw the gears turning in ellie’s head, the fight or flight kicking in. she composed herself without the slightest reaction that she was ever the least bit scared, to the untrained eye that is.

“yeah.” ellie’s voice grew impatient and angry, as if to say, ‘i don’t have time for your crap’, “that’s what we agreed upon.” ellie moved her hand from her hip to in front of her, “friends.” her stern voice and your overwhelming guilt and regret was building up and you felt tears starting to form in your eyes. you let out a, 

“y’know what? i- i can’t fucking do this,” before your voice could break and left the party, letting you walk yourself home. it wasn’t until you reached the welcoming doors of your bedroom that the tears that were welling in your eyes finally fell. and they fell fast. you sobbed into your pillow all night, so much so, when you woke up your pillow was still damp. you knew you couldn’t do it anymore. you slumped off your bed, and made sure to take care of yourself. you showered, did your skin care, put on something more comfortable. you opened your phone, scrolled to ellie’s contact and pressed ‘call’. there was only one ring until, 

“hello?” she called out your name.

“we need to talk, ellie.”

you walked through the mountains of fall leaves and cold air to reach her apartment. you planted a solid two knocks on her door and she immediately opened the door, you could tell she was nervous. her nails were picked at and her eyes darted everywhere around the room but you. the tension was thick, and you knew you had to settle, or rather end, it.

“ellie, i don’t think we should see each other anymore.” you bluntly stated.

“ugh, c'mon is this about that stupid shit last night? you're still hung up on that?” ellie questioned.

“look it's like you said, you can’t be couple-y with me and i get that it’s just i’m a ‘girlfriend’, ellie, i have ‘girlfriends’ not…friends.” you explained, used your hands to display a pair of air quotes when you pronounced the word friends. “i’m sick of…i’m sick of being one of the many, i can’t do it anymore, that’s it okay? i can’t be your friend anymore, i thought i could be different, but i can’t, i’m sorry.” you huffed out the big speech you’d crafted on your way to her apartment. after an erie second of silence, ellie spoke.

“don’t do that.”

“do what?”

“i get it,” ellie said, rubbing her hands together trying to settle her nerves and her voice at a calm level, “i get what your doing.” ellie accused you.

“i’m not doing anything,” you stated, plainly, confusion written all over your face, wondering where she was going with this.

“if that’s what you want, a…a girlfriend, then just come out and say it okay? don’t make me sit here and worry and feel like i fucked up, don’t make me pace around my apartment, don’t come here saying ‘i can’t see you anymore’ don’t fucking do that! i’ll be your girlfriend? alright? that’s what you're really saying huh?” ellie lectured you.

“that’s not what i’m saying, ellie.” you tried to explain, but she kept going on,

“no, no, but that’s what you mean, don’t you?” she sighed, putting her hands on your waist, “c’mon, i’ll do it”

“what?” you gasped.

“i said i’ll do it, okay?” ellie forcefully stated, “i’ll be your girlfriend, it’s either all or nothing baby.”

“you can’t be my girlfriend,” you pushed her back.

“who says i can’t? huh?” ellie’s hands slithered their way back onto your waist.

“um, you, last night!” you declared, recalling her aggravated tone from the night before.

“oh come on! last night was last night, forget about it, right now is right now and i want, scrap that i need you, don’t– don’t leave me sweet girl.” ellie pleaded, begged you. you placed a hand on your hip in an attempt to display fake confidence.

“you have a hundred girls on speed dial.” you scoffed, disbelieving of this ‘new’ ellie.

“who cares about them? they don’t matter to me.” 

“look,” you began, “i know you, i know your type, commitment is not your thing and that’s fine! non-commitment isn’t mine so it's better if we just go our separate ways.” you turned to leave. ellie’s hands, previously placed on your waist, went up to arm and turned you back around to look at her.

“just let me try,” ellie said, looking deeply genuine, “if i say i can do this, then i can do this.”

“ellie–” she interrupted you calling out her name, with your own.

“do you really want to stop seeing me?”

“no,” you stuttered, “but i can’t–”

“‘cause i don’t wanna stop seeing you.” ellie smiled at you.

“are you sure–?” she cut you off a third time, this time with her lips. waves crashed and goals scored in that moment. her lips, never so delicate until this point, landed on yours and connected each other. it was utterly and absolutely euphoric. her lips were soft, softer than other times you had kissed. and it was then you knew. it was then you both knew. you were the one. she didn’t want anyone else. only you. her girlfriend. and she was finally proud to call you that.

[totheblood]

cutty love.

pairing: ellie williams x reader

summary: ellie becomes your best friend and you stumble upon her journal

warnings: this is purely fluff, cursing, suggestive themes maybe once? idk very soft

a/n: this is because i want bff ellie and also domestic ellie and also wanted to put eleven labs to the test with their new features so please... enjoy! AI AUDIOS SPREAD THROUGHOUT THE FIC also reblogs, asks, and replies are so appreciated and encouraged! thank u kisses

wc: 2.2k

"all my dreams my dear they are of you."

spring came fast to jackson.

dew painted the grass on early mornings and little patches of snow began to melt into the soil. winter was finally over and you were finally back on farming duty. however, you weren’t as excited as you thought you would be.

patrol was something you would have dreaded a year ago, the idea of entering the outside world terrifying you completely. but as winter came around, and farming became obsolete, maria had warned you you needed to sign up for a new task. your dumbass, however, signed up too late and both stable and kitchen work were all filled up. patrol became your only option. 

on your first day of patrol, you were assigned with dina. she basically held your hand through it: walking into buildings first, showing you how to aim and shoot your gun, and teaching you all the best places to hide. it was an easy day with one encounter with an infected (who dina shot on sight).

your second day you were paired with jesse, who was, to your surprise, gentler. he made jokes when he could tell you were getting scared, always walked with his hand outstretched in front of you when walking into new territory, and taught you how to make a molotov cocktail.  you felt safe with them.

on your third day, you were paired with ellie who was less than kind at first. upon seeing you she rolled her eyes and scoffed, mumbling something like, “why do i always have to be paired with the newbies?” 

to avoid confrontation you simply kept your mouth shut. you were supposed to be partners and you were going to do your best to keep yourself alive. like the others, ellie walked into spaces first and after clearing the area for any infected, started a small fire in the lookout to keep the two of you warm.

you stood at a distance from her where she was placing her palms just above the fire and then rubbing them together for warmth. you watched on with a shiver, shaking as you looked out the window.

“you’re not going to get warm from all the way over there,” ellie spoke up, causing you to snap your head in her direction.

“what?”

“the fire is over here. you have to stand close to get at least a little warm,” she commented, beckoning you over with the wave of her hand, “here, come get warm.”

“oh,” you stepped closer to the fire, sitting down across from her, bathing in the warmth the fire offered.

“you’re not really talkative, huh?” ellie chuckled, taking picking at her nails as she spoke.

“uh, no, i usually am,” you laughed nervously, looking to the raised skin around her nailbeds.

“oh, so you just don’t like me?” her tone was joking, but there seemed to be an ounce of vulnerability to it. her eyes looked up to yours, scanning your face for a reaction.

“no, i just,” you took a deep breath and shrugged, “earlier you said you didn’t want to be stuck with the newbie so i didn’t want to be a bother or anything.”

“shit,” she breathed, pinching the bridge of her nose. all of the skin around her nails were raw and red, “i’m such an asshole. i didn’t mean it like that. i’ve just had a shitty week.”

“no, it’s fine,” you forced a smile, “i understand. i’m just nervous and this is all new to me.”

she paused for a moment, looking you over and taking another deep sigh. 

“i’m not usually an asshole.”

“sure.”

“no, seriously, i’m usually nice.”

“i believe you.”

“ok, i’m kind of nice, but i’m doing my best.”

“it’s fine, i’m also an asshole,” you spit out and she laughed. a full chested laugh that went on for what felt like a minute. it was the kind of laugh were all of her teeth showed and wrinkles formed by her eyes. it made your chest feel warm. 

from that moment on you and ellie became close friends. if you knew you were patrolling with her you would bring her a corn muffin wrapped in fabric. she’d say something about how good of a cook you were or mumble a ‘fuck yeah’ before stuffing half the muffin in her mouth. if she killed any infected later she would say something like, “that was only for the muffin. you’re gonna need to bring me another before i do any more of your dirty work.”

occasionally, she would bring her guitar and show you some of the music she was writing in any downtime you had. she was always so excited too, saying something along the lines of: “let’s try to clear this area as fast as we can so i can show you my new stuff.”

when you sat in front of her, legs crossed in front of you, you watched as a bright blush spread across her face before she sang. 

“this is new, so take it easy on me, okay?”

at some point towards the end of december she came to your house with something wrapped in fabric. her whole face was red, but you couldn’t tell if it was from the snow or her nervousness as she shoved the present into your hand.

“what’s this?” you asked, eyes wide ushering her in from the snow and shutting the door behind you.

“it’s a christmas gift,” she smiled, “i don’t know if you know what christmas is but people used to celebrate it back in the old days. joel told me about it and now we celebrate it every year. it’s basically just a holiday where you give your loved ones… or friends a present. they used to pretend this big fat guy with a beard came down people's chimneys and gave presents to kids who were good but i guess they gave up that idea. santa probably got infected or some shit. anyways, this is for you.”

when you peeled back the fabric, a picture of you sketched out on charcoal was on a piece of thick paper. you looked beautiful. it almost looked as if ellie had spent hours looking at your face and studying all the tiny details of it. not to your knowledge, but she had. 

a gasp fell from your lips as tears welled up in your eyes. you didn’t even have time to thank ellie before you were squeezing her tightly in your arms, causing her to cough. you were literally hugging her so tight she couldn’t breathe, but she didn’t mind it. she took a deep breath and hugged you back, smelling the pine on your hair and skin. 

“i love it, ellie,” you whispered, “thank you.”

when january came around, ellie decided you didn’t know how to hold a gun. most of your shots were misses and the drawback made you stumble back. you were becoming a liability, but mostly ellie feared for your safety. all it took was one fall and you would never be the same again.

so here ellie stood giving verbal directions on how to hold a gun. you, however, were a mess who didn’t know your left from your right.

“your left foot! i said your left foot!”

“this is my left foot!”

“babe, that’s your right.”

“oh,” you switched legs but it wasn’t good enough. ellie came up behind you, placing her hands on your shoulder and fixing your posture. the heat from where her hands were on you radatied throughout your body and went straight down your legs. she stepped closer, placing a hand on your stomach and pressing it lightly. your breath hitched. 

“okay, now move your hand like this,” her free hand moved from the base of your arm to your fingertips. she adjusted your stance slowly. slow enough for it to feel like foreplay, “just like that. yeah, good girl.”

you could feel her breath on your neck where your scarf didn’t cover. it was all too sensual and then SNAP. a sound in the distance made her jump back and step in front of you, her own gun drawn in a matter of seconds.

your gun stance was never revisited after that. 

but now it was spring, and you would no longer be on patrol. as much as you liked spending time with ellie, it was still too much of a risk for you to take when you enjoyed farming so much. when you told ellie a big pout broke out on her face as she dramatically reached for you. 

“what am i going to do without you on patrol?” she whined, squeezing you so hard it made you laugh.

“we can still hang out,” you reminded her, pushing her off you, “plus maybe i’ll be back on patrol next winter.”

“yeah, but i liked having 8 hours of us time. now we will get like 4 hours a day max,” ellie leaned her head back on her couch, the dramatic pout still there. 

“how about we meet here every day after our shifts and have dinner together?” you offered, making her face light up, “i can cook and everything.”

“okay, but you have to sleep over at least once a week,” she demanded

“deal,” you smiled, teeth showing.

“if i’m not here though you can just let yourself in,” she casually commented, “i’ll give you a spare key.”

it went on like that for weeks, you coming over after your shift and making dinner and laughing with ellie about something joel or dina said until you eventually fell asleep on her couch. some nights you would watch a movie together, others you would bake something together (even though ellie usually tapped out when it came to cracking an egg). if ellie was running late or something you would make up time by cleaning up your mess from the kitchen or tidying up the living room, but by that time she would be stumbling through the door and apologizing for being late. 

this night, however, ellie was running extremely late. you had already cleaned both the kitchen and living room and there was still no sight of her. to avoid anxiously pacing around the room and waiting for her, you decided to clean her room. you swept the floors, wiped down her bedside table, and began making her bed before you noticed a notebook tucked in between her bed and it’s frame. 

you pulled it out of its place and examined it. it looked like it was frequently used, the edges of it torn and dirty. the yellow pages of the notebook were slightly hanging out and it looked like pages had been ripped out and stuffed back in. you shouldn’t read this, your mind rang clear. you wanted to respect ellie’s privacy, but curiosity got the best of you. 

you flipped to a middle page, skimming over some entry about how much joel was being an asshole before stopping at your name. your name in her notebook with hearts drawn around it. your name written in pink over and over again. below the different variations of your name was a paragraph, presumably about you. you read it in ellie’s voice.

“another successful patrol. and by successful i mean i tricked her into holding my hand. i probably sound like such a creep but all i want is to be close to her. i want to hold her hand as we walk down the streets of jackson and kiss her in a booth at the diner. when she got scared she would squeeze my hand a little. it made me dizzy. this crush feels like it’s going to ruin me. i think she may ruin me but i don’t even care. all i want is her.”

you smiled, flipping a page, heat rushing to your cheeks as you read another passage about you:

“i sang a song for her today that i wrote about her. she told me my voice was beautiful and asked who it was about. i panicked and told her it was about cat. fucking cat!!! i haven’t thought about cat in fucking forever. i just want to tell her already because this is so fucking embarrassing. she probably thinks i don’t like her but i do. what if she never knows? i’ll tell her eventually… i will.”

you sit down on her still unmade bed, reading the next page.

“i wanted to kiss her so bad today. ugh. her lips were all red and pouty from the cranberry juice and when she smiled her teeth were all red. she asked why i was smiling at her and i told her that her teeth were all red. she looked so embarrassed and got up to clean them. i felt like an asshole but that’s better than being rejected by her right?”

another one.

“we watched curtis and viper today after patrol. she cooked us chicken and then cried because it was her favorite chicken. this girl has the biggest heart in the world. when the movie was done we just talked about what life would be like if the apocalypse didn’t happen. she said she would have been a teacher or some kind of helping profession. she’s fucking sweet. i told her i’d probably be a dentist or a lawyer. something fun. i left out the part where i’d want to come home to her every night. i’m such a loser. i think i love her.”

the last part made you gasp, except the gasp wasn’t coming from your mouth, it came from the person standing in front of you. ellie.

“what are you doing with that?”

[3lli3l0v3r]

"hallway crush ellie" | series masterlist ☆

☆: encompasses all drabbles, headcanons, full fics, and chronological entries + side stories in this universe!

moodboard + synopsis | moodboard two

☆teasers☆

blurb one, blurb two

☆the fic☆

how soon is now?

chapter one, 4.6k wc

chapter two, 5.7k wc

^^^gorgeous ellie fanart by @nramv !!

☆: let me know if you'd like to be added or taken off of the taglist for this series! if you're on it you'll be tagged for every major entry. (chapters + smaller additions yes, moodboards/little bonuses no.)

taglist: @mostlyhornyandsad @lasting-lover @radioheadfan699 @sophie-thefrog8 @machetegirl109 @ellieschair @aouiaa @wavesgocrash @tangerinngi @elliesbitchvenus @amiorca @dinaissoprettyoml @rxreaqia @camicocom1a @elliesexual @ellslvr @boobdrug @writing-on-a-bathroom-stall @bready101 @yourelliewillms @elllieswife @bunnyrose01 @elliesactualgirlfriend @paranoiero @sakiigami @4ftergloww @ellstronaut @vqxen @desireesfics @lez-zuha @dyk3ang3l @iluvellie0089 @tphmnv @seraphicsentences @seaseasalts @the-xkill-switch @deliriousrn @cinnamonmilf

[val-cansalute]

- EMBERS -

ch.3

content warnings: small amount of nsfw, 18+ (mdni)sub!reader x dom!ellie, strap r!receiving, finger sucking, scissoring. i’ve disintegrated. been dying at the hands of a cold for days. excuse the shitty writing. i actually despise this chapter. btw, this is the last one, BUT, theres gonna be a bonus chapter too. later. fingers crossed it’ll be better than this shit. banners by cafekitsune.

pt. 2

pt. 1

masterlist

The living room is dim, only illuminated by the lambent TV screen. It’s a harsh blue glow, one that makes your eyes hurt, but you don’t want to move.

For the first time in a week since the incident, you manage to bring yourself to leave your room, sit on the couch and watch a show. Or at least try to.

But this distraction isn’t enough. You can’t stop thinking about it, even just for one fucking minute. It has completely consumed you.

That day, when you laid back on the bed, Ellie had smiled down at you and it made those feelings you fought off for so long become, all of a sudden, almost tangible. And it scared you.

You know Ellie fucks around, know it more than you would like to, because you hear it late at night and it makes your bottom lip tremble.

She looked so beautiful, you almost felt guilty when you left her still figure behind, but you fucked up by giving in to your feelings. Now, you’re just like those girls she brings home on Saturday nights, the ones you never hear about again. It’s hard to accept.

Each of the seven days between that moment and this one, you’ve been doing everything in your power to avoid her. To call it difficult would be an understatement.

When her chest rose and fell gently, the soft hum of her breathing echoing in your mind, you left the dorm and went to spend the night with a friend. You sent Ellie a curt message. It was colder than it needed to be.

You: my friend called me over to watch a movie.

Dumbass: oh right i was wondering where u were

Dumbass: when r u coming back?

seen

The next few days were excruciating. You returned the next day, opening the door at the exact moment Ellie came out of her room. You closed it behind you, begging your face not to reveal how much you were struggling to seem unfazed.

She looked so good, standing there, rubbing her eyes lazily. She offered you a smile but you could tell it’s hesitant. You pretended not to notice and walked to your room awkwardly.

Your stomach twisted when you shut the door, picturing her confused face. Hurting her made you feel like shit, but you knew she didn’t care about you enough to feel hurt.

You could tell she was thrown off by your behavior though, the eyes that met yours seemed insecure when she started making attempts to get you to talk to her.

A day had passed since and, in the evening, she stood in your doorway as you pretended to study, her stance indicating she was slightly unsure of herself as she watched you.

“Hey…”

You turned to look at her for a split-second, immediately regretting it when your eyes met hers and turning back to your desk.

“… Wow, you’re studying again…”

“Mhmm,”

She chuckles to herself; you can practically hear the cogs turning as she comes up with something to say.

“Uhhh… Well… Careful there, you’re studying so hard, I can see your head expanding… by the second.”

Normally, though it's embarrassing to admit, a dumb dad joke like that would've made you giggle, but you were too deep in your thoughts to find anything funny.

Ellie left after standing in discomfort from your lack of a reaction. Just a few days ago, she would've poked and prodded till you were seconds away from slapping her. Not today. Everything was wrong.

But it was hard to keep avoiding her when, somehow, she managed to come out of her room at the exact moment you came out of yours, over and over again. She never ignored your presence either, handing you things she thought you'd need as you cooked in silence. It had to be a hazard to use a stove with your hands shaking like that.

Every now and then, she'd chuckle to herself while watching you and tell you a dumb pun she remembered hearing. You didn't respond; you felt like shit and you hoped the food you'd left for her wordlessly would let her know you weren't mad at her. Because you weren't, you were just mad at yourself.

Wednesday was rough.

You were cooped up in your room, too scared to use the kitchen; you felt pathetic.

And it felt like she was reaching down your throat and squeezing your heart cruelly when there was a soft knock on your bedroom door in the afternoon.

“... Hey... You up?” her muffled voice carried past your closed door and you croaked out a quiet, "Yeah."

“You want something to eat?”

“...No.”

“... I know you haven't eaten all day.”

“I've got snacks in here.”

You heard her sigh as you pressed a shaky hand to your pounding heart.

“That's not... enough.”

“Whatever, I don't feel hungry.”

There was silence for a moment and you winced at how harsh your tone came out but the sound of Ellie's footsteps getting further away gave you relief regardless.

Not too long after, Ellie was thumping her fist against your door and rattling the handle impatiently.

“Hey, asshole! Come play Mario Kart!”

“Not in the mood.”

“What? Don't you try to bullshit me; you're always in the mood for Mario Kart.”

You sighed and rubbed your tired eyes. You hadn't been sleeping well since you did it with Ellie. Late night brought on those thoughts. Those memories.

“No, not today.”

You heard her mutter “...Jeez,” as she walked away. This time, you knew she'd be back soon.

And she was.

“I wanna watch Shrek! Come on! I know you want to! ‘Better out than in, I always say. Eh, Donkey?’”

That Scottish accent made you cringe. For some reason, it was those kinds of things that made your feelings deepen. You're weird, you know that.

“No, I'm busy, Ellie.”

And then, again.

“You asleep? You're not decaying in there, right?!”

With a sigh, “Yes, I'm asleep, Ellie.”

“It’s like your ghost lingers…”

Again.

“HEY! Hey, open the door, it's important.”

You don't, “What do you want?”

“Did you know that- that the velociraptors in Jurassic Park weren't actual velociraptors, they were based on... Utahraptors?”

“… Okay.”

“Just letting you know.”

She stopped after that.

You snuck out of your room to get food but realized there was no need. She wasn't there.

She played her games and shows at full blast, shouting and laughing late through the night, let the dishes pile up in the sink, made the living room more and more disheveled each day, played music at unspeakable volumes in the shower, and made no attempts to speak to you.

You just let it be, because you couldn’t bring yourself to face her, even to reprimand her. You just sat in your room, hoping you could ignore these feelings till they went away but it proved to be harder than you ever anticipated.

So many emotions are weighing you down now, it feels like they're pushing against the confines of your skull, like your head's gonna burst.

And tonight is a Saturday night, so Ellie isn’t home. She left without a word, slamming the door behind her. She’s gone to some dumbass party to smoke weed. Then, she’ll come back cross faded with a girl you might’ve seen around campus a few times. You know her routine.

It makes your stomach ache.

You don't want to hear it- no, today, you can not hear it. You have no right to be upset, acting like she didn't even exist and like you weren't bothered by what the two of you did. You know that. But if you hear her tonight, you'll have no choice but to go. You feel pathetic. It happens a lot these days.

It's getting late, past midnight. If Ellie were to bring a girl home, it'd be around now. You squeeze your eyes shut, resisting the urge to smack yourself for thinking the thoughts that swarm in your mind.

Despite it all, you couldn't even tell yourself that having sex with Ellie was a mistake, because it felt so right in that moment.

You sigh and place your can of beer back on the coffee table in front of you, the bitterness that lingers in your mouth suddenly getting to be too much as you imagine what will unfold tonight. You're angry at her even though it doesn't make sense for you to be, huh?

Pushing through, you pat the space on the couch around you in a halfhearted attempt to find the remote, telling yourself you should probably go hide in your room before she gets back.

You hear it; the sound of her voice out in the hallway as she hums that song she was blasting in the shower earlier today. Now, you're frozen in place, watching the door swing open.

With the heartbeat of an animal of prey being hunted, you look back at the TV screen, too afraid to confront whatever you will inevitably have to confront tonight.

“Oh, you're not hiding in your room anymore, huh?” she murmurs, sounding almost as bitter as you, her words quiet and slow.

You find your hands moving on their own, grabbing the remote you were struggling to find and fumbling as you try to turn off the TV. “... I wasn't hiding. I don't know what you're talking about.”

“Fuck you.”

You throw your head around to meet Ellie's gaze. Her cheeks are rosy and her eyes are slightly bloodshot, but she's not drunk.

“Excuse me?”

She's alone. She came back alone. You can’t help but let out a shaky breath at the same time she pushes out a venomous scoff, mumbling some shit along the lines of my puns are fucking hilarious and doesn’t appreciate my fucking dino fun facts.

“That's the first time you looked at me in days. You're ignoring me, fuckin' asshole.”

You look down and shake your head; Ellie moves closer. So, you put the remote down and turn away to leave the living room.

“I told you, Ellie, I don't know what you're talking about. I'm gonna go to bed.”

“You better fucking stop pulling whatever shit you're pulling now.”

She grabs your wrist and looks you in the eye. You can smell it on her, the weed and the anger. That fucking addictive cologne she uses. And she looks so hauntingly beautiful in this blue light. Fuck. It's too much. You want to tell her to get off but the words die on your tongue; her expression hit you like cold water to the face.

Ellie looks sad.

“Why did... I thought… fuck... you can't do that... you're confusing me, you're being...”

Your eyebrows furrow in panic,

“Ellie... it was just sex, you... you have sex all the time. I mean, you usually bring someone over today, right? It’s not like it meant anything…”

She shakes her head, scoffing,

“That’s different. I dont know those girls. I don’t see them again. I know you; I see you every day!”

You’re caught up in the heat of the moment, huffing in frustration, not knowing what to feel, what to think.

“Well, I didnt think it was any different, I thought-”

Ellie shakes her head desperately, her voice cracking.

“Jeez, do I have to fucking spell it out for you? I have feelings for you! How can you not see that?… So, dont... fuck with me if you’re expecting me to act like it was nothing. Because, holy shit, it was something, and I can’t fuckin’ do that. I’m sorry.”

The world stops spinning for a moment and you’re standing in front of Ellie with a bright red face and a pounding heart, feeling like a little girl.

“You have feelings for me?”

She stares at you as you sit back on the couch and wipe a stray tear, and then another, and another.

Fuck, you’re ruining the moment. It’s so dramatic and stupid to cry about it, you know, but your body is completely overcome with relief, washing away the intense feelings that have been swirling in you the past week like a hurricane.

You’ve had feelings for Ellie since the moment you saw her, and they’ve only gotten stronger day by day. It was heartbreaking to see her so casually sleeping with other girls, and it was terrifying to think you’d become one of them.

“I’m so sorry, Ellie, I thought you thought it was just meaningless sex. I was so scared you’d act like nothing happened, so I acted like it didn’t happen first. Oh my god, I was such a bitch to you, Ellie, I’m so sorry-”

Ellie cuts you off as she brings your wrist up to her lips and presses a gentle kiss to the back of your shaking hand.

You look at her, your other hand gliding up her side and onto the back of her neck.

“You’re so pretty, Ellie, God, since I first saw you...”

You lean in and Ellie’s already on you, kissing you desperately, even more than the first time.

The two of you stumble back to your room, completely entangled, your hands roaming all over each other.

You’re on top of the sheets, moaning into each other’s mouths like you’re drunk, like your hands are moving on their own.

And your clothes are in a heap on the floor, discarded mindlessly as you tug on the waistband of Ellie’s jeans, hand slipping up her sports bra and circling her hard nipple gently before pulling it over her head and closing the gap between your mouths once more.

Her lips never leave yours as she shoves down her pants, fanning your face with hot, aroused breaths when you separate for air.

There’s a visible bulge in her boxers. The sight gives you feelings that travel straight to your core before your eyes meet hers.

She ducks and presses warm, gentle kisses along your collarbone; you can feel the smirk against your skin.

Her touch is electric, tongue gliding down your sternum, sending shivers throughout your body.

She mumbles, “I’ve been wearing it…” and kisses your right nipple, cupping your boob in her hand as she sucks it, teeth grazing the skin and tongue rounding it, before she pulls back with a pop. “Every day…” she moves to your left, doing the same, and your breathing picks up, your fingers tangling themselves in her auburn hair. “Since I fucked you.”

You can't hold back the soft moan that leaves your lips as you push your chest into her face, hips bucking against hers. Your cunt hits the bulge, nudging it against Ellie's clit and she squeezes her eyes shut with a groan before coming up and kissing you again, one hand holding your hip and the other interlaced with yours.

You chuckle against her as your nails gently graze the expanse of her back, “Always prepared, huh?”

Ellie's smile is breathtaking. It hasn't stopped making your heart flutter in a year. Everything feels warm, like home. You put your forehead against her's, exchanging hot, shaky breaths,

“Good, because I need it, Ellie, please.”

“Of course, baby,” she whispers, and the nickname feels right now, no awkward pauses following. She kisses the tip of your pink-tinged nose and peppers more across your neck as she pulls down her boxers.

You feel the silicone against your slit and your eyes roll back, a quiet gasp escaping. It's warm this time, the product of Ellie's body heat. And then you feel the feeling your body's been begging for as she rubs it against you, covering it with your slick. Those little noises you're making and the way you're quivering- it's driving Ellie crazy.

Her eyes never leave your face, glazed and staring up at you from the comfort of your shoulder as the tip teases your entrance.

“Tell me if it hurts, angel.” She slowly pushes it in with surprising ease, listening to your quiet moans, and, now, she knows- knows you've been aching for it for days. You glance down and give her a dazed smile, inviting her to keep going.

Ellie pushes herself up, closer to your lips and mutters, “Shit... I'm gonna make you feel good, promise,” locking her swollen lips with yours, and starts slowly pushing it deeper.

You're breathing heavy, moaning into her mouth like you're on ecstasy as Ellie picks up the pace, bouncing her hips against yours rhythmically. Her soft groans are filled with pleasure as the strap rubs against her core. It get you excited.

You can feel your own pleasure build up, babbling incoherently. Ellie knows you're both so close, so soon, and, with her hand on your hip, the other stroking your cheek, her thumb slowly inches towards your parted lips and enters.

You're looking directly into her eyes as she whispers, "Suck, baby." Your cheeks flush a deeper red, unable to speak as the feeling washes over you, lips wrapping around it and sucking.

Ellie moans at the sight, she pushes her thumb deeper till it hits the back of your throat and you gag, starting to thrust into you faster and harder now. Your eyes are rolling back into your head.

The tears that pooled in the corners of your eyes - she wipes them away and brings the thumb to your throbbing clip, watching you writhe desperately when she slowly circles it.

Her lips quirk into a smile, thrusts getting more and more hungry.

“Love your pretty little face so much.”

“F-fuck, I'm close, Ellie,” you choke out, cutting yourself off with a loud moan, so Ellie fucks into you harder, through your seemingly never-ending orgasm, and not pulling out even when it's done.

When you calm down, you pull her closer and bury your face in her neck,

“I wanna make you feel good, Ellie… Fuck… Cum on me.”

Ellie groans, “You got a slutty mouth, huh? I fucking love it.”

She’s searching for more, hungry for more, to make you feel good. To feel good. And her hand traces the skin down your stomach to your cunt, eyes clenching shut when she feels it dripping in slick.

Like it comes naturally, she moves back, kneeling over you after gently raising your leg onto her shoulder, and bumps her wet clit against yours.

The friction is delicious, your hips lift mindlessly, sliding your cunt up on hers. The movement earns you another graphic moan from Ellie, that, and the wet sounds of your cunts against each other before she grinds against you, softly brushing a lock of hair out of your flushed face.

She watches your body move, mesmerized by the way is bounces as her hands subconsciously dart around to feel and grope, squeezing your tits hard, grinding ravenously.

She leans over your figure, pushing your leg further into your chest, and kisses you as she thrusts her hips against you desperately, like she's feral, the way she gets when she’s close. Her sweet moans mix with yours as your arms wrap tight around her neck. The peak is getting closer, and it looks like everything around Ellie’s eyes is blurred, melting into a pool of warmth that caresses you. It’s long and intense, the feeling of her cunt clenching against yours, the sound of her panting as she rides it out.

You cum into her as she cums into you, slick covering your sweaty thighs. You feel complete, grinning dumbly.

You still feel euphoric when you come down, still feel euphoric when she kisses your forehead and pulls you close in her embrace because it’s not just sex.

This is something. The something.

[whore-era]

collage!ellie x reader hcs? <3

a/n: im gonna assume u meant college!ellie so HERE IT GOES just for you anon friend <3 sorry for how short it is kfkdkkd

tlou 2 university: college!ellie x reader headcanons <3 18+

i have a feeling ellie is either a biology major, engineering major, or a physics/astrophysics major (cuz our girl loooves space), meaning she's extremely intelligent and does very well in class!! she's always answering the professor's questions, taking notes, paying attention. when you struggle with any science/math related subjects, she's ALWAYS willing to tutor you. but, this doesn't mean she's just gonna give you the answers, she's gonna make sure you actually learn and study, even using any means possible — like having you strip off a piece of clothing every time you get an answer wrong and making it a fun time for the both of you.

when you have important projects/papers/quizzes/exams to do that day, she'll make sure to send an encouraging message. don't get me wrong, she always does, but on especially important days like these, she'll always make sure to send an extra special one <3 'good morning baby! you're gonna fucking KILL this chemistry exam babe! you worked your ass off and you're gonna do amazing and get the highest score ❤️ i love you my smart girl let me know what you get when you're done' 'ty els <3 i love you most babe ! i'm abt to start talk to u laterrrr 🏃🏻‍♀️'

ellie will always fulfill her girlfriend duties and walk you to and pick you from classes! even tho she's always a tiny bit late because your class was all the way across campus from hers, but she wants to make sure you're protected and safe so she doesn't care either way! and she'll always carry your books for you, making sure you don't strain or 'hurt' yourself (her words not yours). "els, i have two, capable working arms!!" you whine, as she takes the textbook off your hands, "and so? what if you get a muscle spasm? or you sprain your hand?" she retorts, "by a two pound book?" ellie shrugs, "the possibility is never zero, babe."

when ellie has a project or an essay to work on, it'll be a little difficult to reach her as she gets in the zone when she's working. you'll probably send her some texts throughout the day to check in on her, but as the day progresses you'll find yourself worrying and thinking about stopping by her dorm with dinner because you already know she hadn't ate all day from being cooped up in her room typing away:

you - 9:30 am: els! just got out of class!! gnna go get some lunch w jesse :) hope ur doin okay <3

you - 11:45 am: miss u babe hope ur work is coming along great !!!

you - 2:21 pm: havent heard from u......kinda worried....hope u have been eating n staying hydrated missy >:(

you - 5:56 pm: ok i'm On my way! to ur dorm rn w/ dinner i already know u haven't ate yet n ur gonna feel my wrath

you - 5:56 pm: ignore that extremely enthusiastic On my way! it autocorrected im still mad at u

hearing the booming pounding on her door, ellie takes off her earbuds and walks to the door, opening it. to her surprise, you're standing there, take-out in hand, and a grumpy expression gracing your face. "do you know what time it is? have you even ate yet, ellie williams-miller?" ellie grimaces at the sound of her full, government name leaving your lips. "i'm so sorry, babe. i was working all day, i didn't even realize how much time had passed 'til you showed up," ellie mutters, her stomach grumbling on cue. you hand her the take-out from her favorite spot on campus, and she graciously takes it from your hands. "you better be thankful you have a very caring and worrisome girlfriend, els," you say, "i really missed you today." a smile curls on ellie's lips, "i know, baby. here, let me take a little break from my paper, and i'll make it up to you, yeah?"

and that night, ellie was extremely thankful she worked on most of her paper, as she completely disregarded anymore work as she decided she'd rather fulfill her appetite by eating you out instead. leaving her take-out cold and untouched. but hey, she held her part of the deal and indeed made it up to you.

that was also how 5 papers ended up taped up against her dorm-room door, complaining of the 'fucking loud ass moans' the morning after.

"how'd they even know it was us?" ellie queries, reading over the complaints. "oh wait, it says here 'please tell your girlfriend to keep it down. she was screaming your name all night. thank you for reminding us who lives in dorm 114.'" needless to say, you were red as a tomato and it gutted you to leave her dorm, feeling everyone's eyes on you as you walked down the hall.

let me know if yall would like more college!ellie hcs!! <3

[itsbecomeblue]

glue 002 ellie williams imagine

don't dare forget about palestine

sinopse: you might have a crush on your friend, college!au

cw: swearing, basically fluff, ellie plays soccer, puppy love again because that's my thing, slightly nerdy loser!ellie, reader and ellie are oblivious, not explicit if reader is fem or masc, not exactly proofread.

you had been up all morning, not up really, awake. it was 11:43 when you actually got up, sick to your core. niyah had checked on you before she left for her classes, leaving you some cash for lunch, it's not like you didn't have any but niyah just felt like a mom sometimes. she also gave you a forehead kiss.

you rubbed your eyes while your other hand hugged your aching stomach. you grabbed your phone and squinted at the brightness of the screen.

“shit fuck.” you hissed, boy did your head hurt. you had suspicions that ellie had made so much nervousness pile up in you that it was threatening to explode your head and your poor stomach.

you had always been a little… anxious and got nervous when you hung out with new people, especially without your best friends. they were your safe space, you smiled sweetly thinkin about them, so you read over the texts on your group chat ‘take ur meds’. never the instagram one, because it's just your friend luana spamming instagram reels.

you laughed at your phone, turning it off just to wait for your friends to show up, you knew they would. you grabbed a piece of fruit and sat down again.

you grabbed your little notebook where you did all of your journaling, you always read some pieces before actually writing in it, so you did that. ‘ellie’ this ‘ellie’ that, from just last night before you got sick. but maybe you had already been sick from the moment she stepped into the room.

sick in your stomach, crippling nervousness. you and ellie hung out so much 1 on 1, so you assumed that's what happens when two anxious people get together to talk alone, even though you had known each other for a while now. you didn't give it much thought, well maybe you did. you wrote in pink ink...

‘she's so cute’ ummm late night thoughts were so funny to read over, right? just hilarious. ‘ellie williams #8’ adorned with stars and hearts? you were already sick last night, for sure!

on the other side of campus, ellie was at class but her mind was on the same side of campus as yours. ellie was very much in tune with her feelings for you, she'd say. ‘we're so awkward, we need to get closer!’ that's all you two needed, right? just that. she sighted, you looked at her adorned name in your notebook, she imagined your face adorned with flowers and asteroids?

she needs to pay attention in class! she'll think about you later, she wants to text you but she'll see you at lunch anyways so she decides against the text. ellie tried her best to focus on her boring class, impatiently waiting to see you again.

abby had texted you a few to let you know she was coming over, she was your childhood friend, inseparable at that. caring and loving, gentle giant abigail anderson. she was now on your carpet in front of you bed.

“so, did you take your meds?” she laughed, abby was a med student and definitely a good one but damn her she didn't know shit about pharmacy.

they might’ve teached her some of it, but this girl had very selective memory, it's not like you know what they teach at med school anyway. but you still thought she should cure you everytime you got sick, all your other friends agreed too.

“yep, i looked it up. turns out my friend being in med school doesn't serve me anything.” you stretched my leg to touch her with your feet and she gave you a disgusted look.

“you're such a bitch to me, i came to see you, sick girl.” she grabbed you by the ankle and pulled you with no force.

“abbyyy!” you laughed and tried yanking your feet back and she used more of her strength. she laughed with you and you felt less sick.

you two kept it up until you were falling off your bed onto her, she grabbed your torso, manhandling you so you looked at her. she looked mischievous, she had something up her sleeve.

“how's our favorite soccer star?” she smirks and you look scared, head jumping up and hitting hers. “hey! ouch lil girl…”

she soothed her head before soothing yours, with harsh pats... you weren't sure if she was soothing you or actively making it worse. you both laughed again, what the hell was wrong with you? you had slipped out of her thighs and sat on the carpet, right next to her.

“she's…” you coughed. “she's alright, i saw her yesterday.” you nodded to yourself and abby nodded back.

“right… right…” abby stared at you, smirk still in her lips, waiting for something.

you thought of what she might’ve wanted you to say. you used your brain so much that you realized something, eyes widened and eyebrows furrowed.

"what? you look like you developed your first thought.” she chuckled and you looked frightened.

“i forgot to tell her i'm sick.” you searched for your phone around the carpet and the bed.

“why would you have to tell her?” abby leaned back, watching you look for you phone.

"you know, even if she was a nurse in your wet dream, i don't think she can help.” she added when you ignored her.

“abby.” you actually slapped her nape and she hissed. “we were supposed to have lunch together, i don't wanna be rude and leave her hanging.”

“oooohh you're bailing her on your lunch date.” abby loved pressing your buttons and she knew which ones to press.

“yeah, our date at the campus cafeteria, abigail.” you found your phone under a pillow, one that you were sure you checked before. whatever, you texted ellie.

“abigail is crazyyy…” abby got up and peeped your phone from behind and you pushed her face, the fat on her cheek smushed. “sweetness, let me see.”

abby had a big sweet tooth growing so when you became friends, her dad started calling you tooth and sweetness, since she could never get enough of you. she clinged to it even now, when she was being nice but really often when she pissed you off.

“fine, tooth.” you caressed the cheek you had pushed. she laughed and playfully bit your shoulder as you turned off your phone.

“it's fine, y/n. she'll understand, of course.” abby slurred, you turned to her.

“yeah, i know. i wanted to see her though.” you rubbed your nose sitting on the carpet again, followed by abby.

“you'll see her soon, it's alright.” she patted your head and you looked at her blankly. “what? don't wanna see me too?” she pushed you head and snickered.

“i do, stop abby!” you laughed, pushing her back.

“you gotta crush and now you're gonna abandon me and lua.” she shook her head. “you won't abandon niyah because you live with her, but who knows! you might move in with ellie.”

“what are you even talking about?” you chuckled at her while she tried to maintain a serious face. “i'm not abandoning anyone.”

"AHA! so you do have a crush on ellie, lil girl…” she laughed loud, slapping her knee, now it was your turn to maintain a serious face while she laughed.

“first, you’re not funny. second, i don't have a crush on anyone.” she arched her eyebrow you held her temples, pressing her eyebrows back to their place. “stop, i don't”.

“be for real with me, pookie wookie.” you cringed hard with her.

“you can leave.” you both laughed so loud until she stopped and tapped your lap. “but she makes me nervous.”

“i know she does, might be something, don't you think?”

“mmm, i don't think so, we're both pretty anxious people so…” you shrugged and abby did too, she'd never pry.

“you might be right, time will tell.” she casually says as gets up. “you wanna order some? “i'm hungry.” you nod and she takes her phone out.

ellie on the other hand, is frowning at your texts, she's upset she won’t see you and she's upset you're sick. she immediately texted her friends dina and jesse about it, asking to have lunch with them instead.

she'd waited for them to meet up with her on campus, holding her phone. she wanted to text you again, but you probably needed rest so she opted out to spam texting cat, who wouldn't reply to the groupchat texts. cat was a fucking ghost most of the times, even when they dated... girl gets busy. when dina and jesse finally got there they walked together.

“y/n bailed on you, damn.” jesse shook his head ironically and dina rolled her eyes.

“shut up, jesse.” dina tickled his ear and smirked. they were walking towards the local subway.

“yeah shut up, she's sick dude.” ellie replied, with little to no humor.

her friends noticed. her hands were in her jeans pockets and she was looking down, jesse and dina knew her all to well to know she was even just slightly upset. childhood friends are like that, you'd know. abby was exactly like that with you.

“what's wrong?” jesse asked, palming her shoulder. dina stopped walking but ellie kept going, making them get back to walking too.

“nothin’. it's dumb, i just miss y/n or whatever.” ellie slurred, looking at her sneakers. jesse and dina chucked and she snickered.

“okay, okay. my bad.” jesse looked sternly at dina so she'd stop laughing. “you had plans?”

“actually yeah, i was gonna invite her to see me play saturday.” she looked up.

“it's wednesday, man. you can ask her later.” jesse started. “right?” he looked for ellie's eyes.

“as in a date?” dina asked, not afraid to. ellie was always open with them, she wasn't embarrassed by her feelings even though sometimes she was confused.

“nah, not a date. and yes i can ask later, but i get nervous and… i dunno.” she held her fingers as she sighed.

“just say it, els.” dina chuckled, jesse and ellie chuckled back.

“yeah, alright. i want her to see me play but i get nervous to ask and i thought i’d do it today.” ellie laughed at herself. dina and jesse nodded, they understood her.

“it's alright, you will ask. don't worry, she's gonna be thrilled.” jesse slapped ellie's back and dina looked at him in disgust.

"thrilled" dina mocked jesse, holding her fingers up as quotes.

they all busted out laughing as they got closer to the subways shop, talking about the saturday game, but never distracted ellie from the thoughts of you.

taglist: @mikellie @amberputh @ellslvr @elliesactualgirlfriend @macaroni676 @onlinelesbo @aispike @kalyxvfx @ellieschair