#colson baker

[nozirohhex]

genre:sadboy 🙂☹️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

instagram.com/nozirohhex

[jinx-on-mars-19xx]

Kill Somebody Like You

Dom x Colson (Yungblud x Machine Gun Kelly)

Warnings: strap in kids, this is going to end up a wild ride 😉 ABO dynamics (knots, slick, heats), (not telling who's what yet), serial killer/hitman Dom, mob boss Kells, blood, threats, knives, guns, fighting, inappropriate use of wet towels, sociopath Dom, drug use, cursing (duh), Dom being a little fucking weirdo, Kells ignoring everything, biting, blood tasting, heat blockers, slight control issues, self hatred, puns, boys being dumb, narcissism, inappropriate erections, stalking, talks of killing 💣 rating: lets say mature for now

Ideas helped by @iamnotanearthlingmotherfucker 🖤

Name: Colson Baker AKA Machine Gun Kelly AKA The Machine Gun AKA The Gunner

Status: Alpha

Age: 27

Occupation: Boss

Address: penthouse at the Four Seasons

“‘Ow bloody knot’eaded can you get? Fucking Gunner? Alpha? No shite Sherlock. Course. Boss? Wha's tha’ even mean? Basically begging for me.” The man muttered as he stared down at his phone. He read back over the facts one more time before scrolling lower to see the picture of his mark. The blue eyes staring back at him from above dark glasses and through the screen were… shockingly pretty but he didn't worry about simple things like that. An Alpha was an Alpha was an asshole. An asshole who needed to be taken care of. That was his mission and his mission was all that mattered. It's what paid the bills and kept him from going off the deep end.

The message disappeared like it was supposed to. He only needed to study it for a few moments to remember all he needed. Normally he would have already locked his phone and put it away before it vanished but for the first time he couldn't help but linger on the picture. The Machine Gun was pretty for an Alpha. He'd been following him off and on for days so it wasn't the first glimpse he had but still. Those eyes. He was almost sad he'd have to ruin all those pretty tattoos and cover them in red but sad wasn't an emotion he knew. In fact the man in the shadows didn't think he truly knew any emotion, but sad? Definitely not. Especially not for a fucking Alpha.

The night was warm around him as he looked down at the balcony he needed to reach. Getting to the roof had been far easier than what he thought it should have been for a place that catered to such wealthy clientele, but it certainly made his job simpler. Of course the Alpha he was after lived in a penthouse- a mob boss of his designation would swing his knot around like that. Fuck he was tired of the damn cliches. He couldn't help but wish for one mark who was a bit more interesting. Maybe out of the norm, something fun and surprising. He'd still take them out but it might give him some variety. He never thought killing people would get boring but they were all the bloody same.

If not for the itch he so desperately needed scratching and the cash he needed to keep his wards safe he'd probably find a new occupation but the facts were the facts- he was a sociopath with a need for blood and he absolutely despised Alphas.

He didn't jump, not really. He simply stepped off the edge and grinned as the air tickled under his shirt. He was only in the wind a moment before his feet touched the solid ground of the balcony but it was long enough to prepare. To let himself slip deeper into the headspace he only allowed on nights like that. It was a job, but it was a job he desperately needed and he could only unleash himself truly when he had a target. He would sneak inside the flat and there would (hopefully) be a small fight. He wouldn't be leaving until the probably bland decorations were repainted in crimson and one more asshole who thought with his cock was gone from the world. As he started to pick the lock on the sliding glass door he had a small hope that at least this one didn't have the same stupid futuristic chrome tastes as they all did- but he wasn't holding his breath.

Colson sighed as he stepped from the penthouse elevator into his home. The lights were dim and neon but always on and he was fighting a hell of a migraine. He left them low and instead started ridding himself of his weaponry, locking his guns in a safe behind his favorite painting. His neck popped as he stretched it and peeled his holster off, letting the leather hang at his hips. Next to go was his button up shirt which he let hang open. Before anything else he needed a fucking pain killer and possibly a thick joint. Something had been messing up his system for days and no matter what he did his temples throbbed.

Col’s next stop was the medicine cabinet in his master bathroom. The room was large, mostly open to the bedroom, and perfectly cooled to a temperature he was normally comfortable with but something was making him feel warm. His skin felt almost tight and all he wanted was to sleep for a few days. It wasn't like his job allowed a break though.

The two opiates went down easy as he swallowed them dry and tossed his shirt aside but as he closed the mirror in front of him something caught his eye. A shadow.

“Who the fuck are you?” He snapped, all his instincts going on high alert as he turned to scan the darkened room. His vision was sharp but his sense of smell was almost non-existent. It was normally fine not to rely on that, all his other senses were better than most, but not in moments like that. He should have known automatically his home was invaded but he wouldn't act like a pussy about it. The only problem was… he couldn't see anything but the metallic sculptures positioned around his bedroom. “If you know what's good for you you'll fuck off. Do you even know who's home you're in?”

A soft chuckle sounded from somewhere. It was dripping with contempt and a bit wild. It sent a shiver down his spine. “Really? Ya going wiv tha’? ‘Do you know who I am?’ You all jus’ copies of the same arse, yeah?”

Kells furrowed his brows at the voice. Whoever was intruding in his home was… British? He didn't remember making enemies across the pond but he supposed anything could happen. “I promise you kid, I'm not like anything you've seen before. But you're welcome to find out the hard way.” He really just wanted to get it over with, this douche was going to make his night so much longer. With all the messy clean up and disposal he'd never get to bed at a good hour. It was already almost midnight. “Before I have to kill you can I ask who the hell sent you? I need to know who to ship your body to.”

There was that laugh again. “Ain't like tha’. I mean yeah someone ‘ired me but don't worry Alpha- it weren't another boss. You can die knowing you was the biggest bad around-” The voice went quiet before the wet towel he'd left on the floor earlier that day was thrown at Colson's face. He couldn't help the knee jerk reaction to catch it but the moment he did someone was grabbing his wrist hard and throwing him across the room. His Cali King bed broke his fall but it still knocked the wind out of him. Something was throwing him off his game. “Besides me.” The voice laughed maniacally but it was far too close for comfort. “If it ‘elps, me names Dom. But I don't fink it'll make ‘is easier.”

Kells tried to push himself up and reach for a gun he had hidden under his bed at the same moment but something sliced through the top few layers of the skin on his arm and he hissed. It wasn't deep but it stung like a motherfucker. “Not a fair fight asshole.” He cursed, trying to climb over the bed but the stranger- Dom, jumped on his back and rode him flat to the mattress.

Dominic was primed to play with his prey though the famed Machine Gun wasn't as fun so far as he'd hoped. He'd planned to draw out his game but his toy wasn't as badass as he was said to be. They never were. He pressed himself close, his knife in hand and ready to slip like butter through the man's throat but the moment Dom got a whiff of the bastard he froze. Everything froze. What. The. Fuck?

Kells was shocked when the intruder stilled, he could see a glint of light close to his eye and he knew there was a blade near enough to kill him. He knew he could try for his gun or attempt to grab the knife but he couldn't do both. Shit. He turned his head quickly and struck, sinking his fangs into his attacker's wrist but Dom didn't drop his weapon and he didn't react like a normal human would. He barely even moved. Who was this ass?

Normally Dom would see the moment as a comedy of errors. They weren't moving, neither was exactly fighting, and his mark was still biting his wrist like an overeager puppy. It was almost cute honestly but he couldn't seem to make his head work. “You smell like a bloody bakery.” He mumbled, pressing his face against the man's neck. His stomach dropped and his blood rushed harder through his veins.

Kells rolled his eyes as he felt hot breath against his neck but the hairs there stood up straight and prickled. It had to just be the cologne on his skin. No one could tell. No one. He could feel the fucker’s blood sliding down his tongue and he knew he was swallowing too much of it, only a little was actually drooling around his mouth like a bad porn star. He just had to hope his next round of STI testing came back clean. No matter what he couldn't let go. The blade was too close.

Dom almost purred. The scent of the man under him was cloying and heavy on his tongue like a piece of decadent candy but his pulse was racing. He couldn't deny the truth he could smell and he couldn't kill the guy. “Why you listed as an Alpha Mr. Gun?” He growled out, his rage starting to boil at the surface and fight whatever else he was feeling with the scent all over him. The half naked bloke mumbled something, his fangs tearing deeper into his skin but he couldn't make it out. He thought it might have been ‘because I am one' but he could taste the lie. Dom didn't kill omegas. Fuck.

A rough hand tangled in Colson's blonde hair and those strong fingers gripped tight before yanking his head at an unnatural angle. He wouldn't let go but he did look. His attacker seemed young. Soft. Crazy. “Why in fuck would you fake being an Alpha?” The intruder snapped, his eyes shining somewhere between jade and… red?

Colson’s eyes went wide before narrowing. There was something about the guy that screamed he was out of the woods. He knew he wasn't exactly safe but the knife was trembling next to his face and the heart beat under his tongue was hammering fast. He took a chance and let go slowly, surprised when the… Alpha? dropped his bleeding arm. The grip on his hair didn't lessen but still. Progress. He didn't know why he wasn't taking the chance to flip them and give the guy a few new holes but what he wanted most in life at that moment was sleep and there was a small chance they could get out of their mess without actually making one.

“Everyone knows I'm a fucking Alpha.” His tone was flat and almost growling but he didn't move to fight.

Red eyes narrowed to slits. “But you ain't one. You're an omega. I don't kill omegas.” Kells couldn't help but notice the strain in Dom's voice like his whole world view was askew. That could be helpful.

“Look who's talking.” He huffed simply and the grip in his hair tightened. “You're an Alpha about to kill a-” His voice broke off. Even to save his life he couldn't say it. For all anyone knew he was an Alpha. That would never change. Shit- even if the stranger didn't try for him again he couldn't leave him alive. Not with this information. “That's a fuck ton of Alpha aggression for someone who hates them.” He almost teased but Dom seemed lost in thought. Fucking psycho. The guy might actually bleed to death on top of him. But when Colson took a chance and looked down at the stranger’s wrist it was already healing. How the hell?

“Alphas are the bloody worst.” The attacker muttered and his voice was full of emotion Kells didn't understand. Alphas could be shitty for sure but it was far fucking better than being an o-... Whatever he was before he stopped it short with blockers. He couldn't sit there and worry about the self hating dickhead keeping him pinned down, he had to find a way to fight him off and end him for good. He didn't care how Dom knew what he was, no one could know. No one.

The body under Dom shifted, the long limbs going limp for a moment and while other hunters might think their prey was giving up, he wasn't so daft. The blade slipped from his hold as he rushed to move and grab the omega’s wrists but he was too slick with blood. His hand didn't close tight or fast enough and the lithe colorful body fully turned until they were cloth covered cock to cloth covered cock. Awkward. What made it all worse was the blood rushing through Dom started quickly moving south. “Fuck.”

Colson felt messy with blood and annoyed at the asshole above him. He knew he was worthy to kill for fucks sake. He was the boss of a pretty large crime syndicate- his designation didn't make him any less dangerous. Who was this douchebag to say he wasn't a danger?

A pillow slapped Dom hard against the side of his face but he held his ground and position above his prey. But he couldn't be prey. Dom wasn't like those other Alphas, he didn't hurt omegas. Ever. “Stop being a brat! Oi! No bloody pillow fights! Mob boss me arse!”

“Who the fuck even are you?” Kells growled, trying to move out from under his attacker and hit him at the same time. He was sure to anyone else this would look like a skit out of some comedy show but technically he was fighting for his life. Right?

Dom grumbled, the man under him was all long limbs and warm smells and too wriggly to get a good grip. He didn't know whether to tell the truth but he'd already offered his name. Which honestly on principle was strange enough. Why hadn't he given his nom de plume?

Kells scoffed when the Alpha ripped the pillow from his hand and tossed it away before he sat back on his lap and stared down at him. When he realized the fight was mostly over he took a deep breath and was shocked that he could actually scent something. It was barely there but sharp and sensual. It felt almost overwhelming to his senses after going so long without scenting anything. Was that… was that Dom?

When the omega started to calm Dom sighed. He could feel his body reacting to the fight and the man but he was trying to ignore it. He couldn't. He never had. He refused. No matter how perfect the mark smelled and looked and fit under him. “Dude. Are you fucking serious?!” Those blue eyes went sharp with a hint of gold and Dom’s stomach flipped. Now that was a beautiful sight. “You have a hate-on for Alphas but you're getting fucking turned on in the middle of a fight? Get the fuck out!”

If Dom could feel shame he might have in that moment but as it was he couldn't feel much but excitement. His hunt was over, he'd have to decline the job, but he may have found something even better than prey.

Before Colson could take a breath or react in any way the Alpha was leaning down and licking a wet stripe over his cheek. He meant to growl or snap or scoff, he really did, but whatever noise that escaped him certainly wasn't that. Without meaning to, he turned his face as Dom tilted his and their lips met in a harsh kiss. There was a litany of ‘what the fuck’ circling his mind but he couldn't seem to stop himself. Instincts he never had were bubbling up inside him. He should be biting Dom, he should be doing literally anything to fight him off but no. His muscles wanted to relax and he was warm and tingling somewhere he never had before. He knew later he'd feel sick.

Just as quickly as it started it was over and the weight was gone from Colson's body. A gasp left his lips as he blinked fast and searched the darkened room. Dom was standing at the door and watching him as he pushed himself up on trembling elbows. What the hell was happening? “You should stop ‘em bloody pills. You ruining ya’self.” The killer's tone was soft. Almost sweet and Kells wanted to shoot him all over again. Did he mean the pain killers? The heat blockers? It didn't matter. He wasn't listening anyway. “I wanna be able to smell you proper.”

Dominic swatted away the pillow that was thrown at his face. He knew he shouldn't have said anything but it was honest. He lingered at the entrance, watching the omega as Kells watched him and with his blood drenched finger he traced something on the wall just outside the bedroom door where the other couldn't see. The Machine Gun wasn't coming for him but just laying there like an offering. One Dom couldn't take. “I fink I'll keep an eye on you.”

That… sounded like both a threat and a promise to Colson but he didn't say anything back. He couldn't. His heart beat faster at the words and his stomach twisted in knots. He felt hot all over but he swore it was from the fight. Not anything else. Certainly not from the Alpha smirking at him like he knew.

With one last longing glance at the pretty omega on the bed Dom forced himself to step back fast and close the door.

Kells heard the intruder's running footsteps, the little bag strapped to Dom's chest jingling until he reached the stairs but he couldn't move from his spot on the bed. As soon as the door closed he could see what the man had been writing in crimson and for a moment he couldn't breathe or move. There wasn't much but in bright red were two initials. YB. The first Alpha his body ever reacted to- not that he would ever admit it- was Yungblud. A fucking serial killer. One with the highest Alpha kill count America had seen in decades. “Fuck my life.” Kells groaned as he fell back against the bed and covered his face with the closest pillow. That smelled like Dom. “Shit.”

Author's Note/Tags: @iamnotanearthlingmotherfucker @hollywoodxwhore @jaxbreaker @fenoy7 @cole-way-iero28 🖤 if anyone else wants tagged let me know.

Who knows if I'll be able to keep up with this but I promise to try. I've been desperately needing to keep my mind busy lately and @iamnotanearthlingmotherfucker has been helping so much with keeping me creative and helping me come up with this (and other) ideas. I have a lot of it mapped out and I'm hoping to get more out soon but I won't give a schedule or I'll get overwhelmed. Heh. I really hope you all like it, it's a new idea for me. Let me know what you think 💣🖤

[guardian-angle22]

Colson Baker (aka Machine Gun Kelly) | December 2021

[storiesforallfandoms]

can’t keep doing this ~ machine gun kelly

word count: 1668

request?: yes!

“Hi! I love your writing and you just seem like such a sweet, genuine person. ☺️ Can I request Colson x reader and they’ve broken up but they keep meeting up and hooking up with some smut and maybe some fluff at the end?”

description: in which they broke up a while ago but kept hooking up afterwards, and now she’s ready to end things for good

pairing: machine gun kelly x female!reader

warnings: swearing, two paragraphs of smut, angst, fluff ending

masterlist (one, two, three)

You and Colson had broken up almost a year ago. It wasn’t a bad breakup. You both had different ideas of what you wanted from your futures and realized it was best if you ended your relationship and perused the futures you wanted.

The thing is, you broke up, but you were still hooking up.

It started as a drunken mistake. You were both out at the same club and ran into each other after a couple of drinks. Next thing you knew, he had you against the wall outside of the club with one hand up your shirt while yours was cupping the front of his pants. The next morning, you were surprised to find yourself waking up in his bed. You both agreed it was the last time it would happen.

And you were both horribly wrong.

It became a regular thing for one of you to text the other looking for a quick fuck, but that’s all it would be. There was no staying the night, no cuddling, nothing romantic. You had to constantly remind one another that you weren’t getting back together before, during, and after.

You had no issue with it at first. You viewed it as just a way to get over the breakup without hooking up with randos you met at clubs. You didn’t expect it to last as long as it did. But once the months came and went, and you realized that this was starting to become less of a hook up thing for you, you realized it had to come to an end. It would be better for the both of you to finally move on.

That was the plan when you texted Colson, asking him if you could come over. You were just going to put an end to everything. Tell him you had to stop and finally go your separate ways.

But then he opened the door, just in a pair of grey sweatpants and looking at you as if he were a dehydrated man and you were the first water he had seen in a long time. And you were such a sucker for both of those things.

That’s how you found yourself face first into Colson’s bedsheets; face down, ass up, with Colson’s dick abusing your g-spot with every rough thrust. Your moans were muffled by the sheets between your teeth. His fingers were digging into your hips, guiding you back to meet his thrusts. You yelped at the sudden sting of the palm of his hand meeting your ass cheek. You could already picture the perfect handprint you’d see there later.

You cried out as Colson’s fingers met your clit, rubbing quick circles in the bundles of nerves. His thrusts were becoming sloppy, telling you he was trying to coax one last orgasm from you before he reached his own. It didn’t take him long to get it. It came rushing from you before you could realize, a scream ripping from your throat as your whole body went warm and your walls contracted around him. His dick twitched inside you before he reached his own high, spilling inside of you.

Your body, sore and used, slowly fell to the bed. Colson slipped from you as you fell, hissing at the over sensitivity. You took a while to regain yourself. As you did, Colson got up from the bed and returned with cloths to clean the two of you up. You rolled onto your back and took the cloth from him. You wiped yourself and sat up. You discarded the cloth onto the floor with Colson’s other dirty laundry and started reaching for your clothes.

“What are you doing?” Colson asked.

“Leaving?” you responded, confused by his question.

“You don’t have to,” he said.

“That’s usually how this works, Colson.”

“Well, yeah, but that’s not how it always has to be. We can change, you know. You could...hang out for a while or something, I don’t know.”

“We can’t keep doing this,” you cut him off. “This is the last time. That’s why I asked to come see you.”

You could’ve swore you saw a look of hurt in his eyes, but you were sure you had imagined it.

“Why?” he asked. “We have a good thing going on.”

“Had,” you corrected. “We had a good thing, Colson, but then we broke up. We said we were going our separate ways because we wanted different things. That’s how it should’ve ended. These last few months never should’ve happened.”

“Then why are you saying this now? Why didn’t you say anything months ago when we started fucking?”

“Because I’m seeing someone now!”

That rendered Colson speechless. He just looked at you as you continued to put on your clothes. You couldn’t meet his eye now.

“That’s why I came over,” you continued. “One last go, then we’re done. We have to move on, Colson. I told you, I want to settle down, to find someone who wants marriage and kids. You don’t want that. So, that’s it. We move on. We stop playing with each other’s emotions like this.”

You grabbed your purse that had been discarded to the floor the minute you stepped in the room. You started for the door, but paused. You looked back at Colson one last time. He was still looking ahead, face blank.

“Who is it?” he asked.

“Some guy from a dating app,” you responded.

“And that’s what you want? Some guy from a dating app?”

Instead of answering, you said, “Goodbye Colson”, and finally walked out of his life, for good this time.

~~~~~~

That night, you were watching TV at home with delivery pizza and a bottle of wine. For the most part, you had managed to forget everything with Colson. You had blocked his number and all his social media when you got home, which was the last bits to fully remove him from your life. Then you cracked open a bottle of wine, ordered some pizza, and turned on mind numbing reality TV to cleanse your brain.

You were two glasses deep when someone rang your doorbell. You weren’t expecting anyone, and the pizza had already come. A series of knocks shortly after the doorbell rang spurred you to get up and see who was at your door.

To your surprise, you swung the door open and there was Colson.

Before you could ask him what he was doing, he brushed past you to walk into your house.

“I didn’t invite you in,” you pointed out.

“I don’t accept what you said today,” he said, ignoring your comment. “I don’t want to end things between us.”

“Colson,” you tried again.

“I don’t just mean the sex stuff,” he continued. “Listen, I was a goddamn idiot to let you get away. I didn’t think I was ready to settle down. My job, it made settling down seem impossible. I travel all the time, I’m rarely ever home. That’s not the ideal married life, and I know that.”

“Colson - ”

“But I realized that I can’t imagine my life without you. After that first hookup, I did mean it when I said it wouldn’t happen again. I was ready to let it all go, to let you go. But then I was home alone and I realized how empty my house feels without you. And I started thinking about how I can’t see my future without you being in it. I’m an idiot for not bringing it up, but I thought the hooking up was the only thing that would keep you around, and I was willing to do it until you wanted to stop. I know I’m too late and you have someone else, but I can’t - ”

“Jesus Christ, Colson, there isn’t anyone else!”

That was enough to finally shut him up. He stopped pacing, which he had started doing the second he had opened his mouth, and turned to face you. You crossed your arms, waiting for him to say something.

“What?” he finally asked.

You sighed. “I only said that so that you’d let me go. But I haven’t been seeing anyone. I’m not even on any dating apps. I just needed to end everything between us because I was gaining feelings again and I couldn't bare to continue our arrangement of meaningless hookups when I was still so in love with you.”

There was a moment of silence, and then a smile spread across Colson’s face. You couldn’t help but smile back, and then the two of you were laughing. The whole situation was so absurd. If one of you had just communicated what you wanted instead of just continuing to hook up, then you could’ve been back together long ago. But you know what they say about hindsight.

“I really want to kiss you right now,” Colson said.

“Then do it.”

In two long strides, he closed the distance between you two and cupped your face in his hand. He pulled you to him and kissed you as if it was the first time he had ever done so. You leaned into him, holding on to his shirt for dear life. You weren’t sure you’d ever let him go honestly. You just wanted to stay there, holding each other, kissing each other.

“If I had a ring, I’d propose to you right now,” he murmured against your lips.

“If you did, I’d say yes,” you whispered back.

“I’ll take that as a pre-engagement agreement,” he said. “But I promise, I will get you a ring. I’ll do something so special to propose. I’ll give you dozens of babies if that’s what you want.”

“Oh God, that’s the last thing I want,” you laughed. “Give me one baby at least, and then we’ll go from there.”

“Maybe we could start practicing on that now.”

You leaned close to his ear and whispered, “Then take me to the bed.”

You shrieked as Colson lifted you in his arms and gleefully raced towards your bedroom.

[sourwolf-sterek32]

The Dirt (Your Version)

Summary: Meeting Nikki Sixx and Tommy Lee was a coincidence. Being friends was a choice. But falling in love with them both was beyond your control.

Or

A rewrite of The Dirt with all the highs and lows of Mötley Crüe from your perspective.

Pairings: Nikki Sixx x Reader, Tommy Lee x Reader, Nikki Sixx x Tommy Lee x Reader

Word Count: 4k

Trigger Warning- language, mentions of past child abuse and past self-harm

Previous Chapter

Chapter 21- Mötley fuckin' Crüe

A week later, you and Nikki were pulling up in front of Tommy's double story mansion across town.

"What are you going to say to him?" You asked, climbing out the car.

Nikki shrugged, "first an apology."

You simply nodded before you walked up the tall stairs to his front door taking two at a time before Nikki knocked. A moment later, Tommy pulled the door open with a cigarette between his lips and a look of surprise on his face.

"Hey, guys." He greeted hesitantly, glancing between you and Nikki unsure what was happening.

"What I did at your wedding..." Nikki began to say causing the confusion on the drummer to double. "I didn't... know... how to do that. How to be there."

"What's up, Nikki?" Tommy asked stopping the bassist struggling with his apology.

"I was really fucking selfish, and I shit on something that was important to you, and I am really sorry."

Tommy glanced over at you briefly before focusing back on Nikki. "I know you pretty well, Sixx, so... I kinda get it. And it's okay. But can you say that last part one more time for me?"

"Don't fucking push it, T-bone." Nikki shook his head with a smirk.

You and Tommy began to laugh before the drummer stepped to the side allowing you both to walk through the front door.

"I heard you and Heather broke up."

Tommy nodded, "yeah."

"I'm sorry, man." Nikki grabbed his shoulder with a small squeeze.

"Knew I'd get you to say it again." Tommy grinned with a laugh.

"Fuck you." Nikki removed his hand while trying not to smile.

Your eyes widened in shock not having realised that him and Heather had broken up. But of course, they would have. Heather would've seen the magazine with the photo of her husband kissing another girl on the front page. And not just any girl. It was you. It was the girl that Tommy would hang around with backstage. The girl he'd lean against during shows. The girl he asked to be his groomsman. The girl he ditched their honeymoon for. No wonder Heather was gone.

"Fuck, Tommy, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have-" You began to apologise before he cut you off.

"It's okay."

"It's not okay. Heather broke up with you because of me. I mean, fuck, you were married for seven years and-"

"Y/N, look at me." Tommy instructed, stepping in front of you and pinching your chin gently between his thumb and index finger before tilting your head up until you met his eyes. "It's okay." He repeated.

"How is that okay?"

Tommy sighed, glancing over your shoulder at Nikki. The two of them had a silent conversation you weren't privy to before his warm hazel eyes met yours once again.

"Because I've been in love with you since high school."

Out of everything you thought Tommy might have said, that was not on the list. That wasn't even on the draft of the fucking list.

Holy shit.

You opened your mouth to respond but no words came out.

"Kiss her, man." Nikki said from behind you, giving the drummer the permission he needed before Tommy tilted your chin up higher and he leant down capturing your lips with his.

You melted against his mouth and cupped his face with your hands deepening the kiss before pulling away and glancing over at Nikki who was smiling.

"Alright. We're going on a mission." He declared holding his hand out towards you.

You grabbed Nikkis hand before taking Tommys in your other and the three of you walked out the house towards Nikki's car.

It was time to go get Mick Mars.

Apparently, Mick just had hip replacement surgery, so you drove out to the hospital to pick him up.

You leant against the side of the car between Nikki and Tommy, and the look on Micks face when he saw the three of you together was priceless.

"About time you three got your shit together." Was his form of greeting as a nurse wheeled him out the front doors on a wheelchair.

You smirked pushing yourself away from the car and walked towards him.

"It's good to see you, Mick."

The older man smiled, "you too, kid."

"How's that new hip, dude? Feel like The Terminator now or some shit?" Tommy asked heading straight for the handles of the wheelchair.

"Touch the chair and I'll terminate you, Drummer." Mick threatened pointing at him.

Tommy quickly raised his hands and stepped back before Mick thanked the nurse behind him and slowly stood up out the wheelchair.

You took a step forward with your hand out, Nikki doing the same unsure how steady he would be on his feet, but the older man simply waved you both off and began walking to the car.

"Stop looking at me like that. Let's go get our fucking singer back already."

-

Locating Vince Neil was harder than you anticipated.

He wasn't at his house and after using the spare key to get inside, it was clear that he hadn't been home for a while.

"Where the hell is he?" Tommy asked, looking around and you had a sinking feeling you knew where your brother had ended up.

Moonshadow's bar downtown.

When Skylar was sick, that was where he went every single night and when she passed, he practically lived there. That place was like a second home to him at that point.

You thought rehab had helped him. He sounded fine when you spoke to him on the phone not long ago, but your brother was still suffering.

"Shit." You sighed, rubbing your face with your hands causing the guys to all look over at you. "I think I know where he is."

The four of you climbed back into Nikki's car and before you knew it, you were heading towards the front door of the small quiet bar. But before you pushed it open, you paused and turned to face the guys.

"Look... just let me talk to Vince first, okay? I-I don't know how he'll react."

They all nodded in agreement before you turned and entered the building.

There were a few people seated at various booths and tables, but there was one man sitting at the bar and there was no mistaking that long blonde hair anywhere. The guys remained by the door, for once actually listening to you, while you walked straight across the room towards your brother.

"You got company." The bartender warned, eyeing you and the guys by the door cautiously.

Vince glanced over his shoulder in confusion before his eyes met yours and he sighed, turning back around staring down at his glass of Jack and coke.

"I-I'm not drinking like I was. Don't worry. This is my only drink even ask him." Vince said defensively motioning up at the bartender.

"It's true. He refuses to let me serve him more than one drink."

You nodded, a little relieved to hear that because for a moment you feared your brother had really fallen off the wagon again.

"I'm proud of you." You admitted, sitting down on the stool beside him before leaning over and resting your head on his shoulder. "And I love you."

Vince didn't say anything to that but tilted his head until it was resting against the top of yours.

"How's your hand?" You asked after a moment, looking down at his scarred knuckles wrapped around his glass.

"Healed." He answered letting go of the glass and squeezing his hand in and out of a fist. "I should have never let dad touch you again. I should have seen it coming and-"

"Vin, it's not your fault."

"It kinda feels like my fault."

You lifted your head from his shoulder and turned in your seat to face him properly.

"It's not your fault." You insisted, reaching over and grabbing his arm. "I'm a grown woman. I can take care of myself."

"Yeah? Well, I'm your big brother. It's my job to protect you and I failed, again."

"You can't protect me from everything, big brother." You whispered, mimicking your words from the day you both ran away from home.

Vince smiled sadly catching on before repeating his own words too, "I can try."

Neither of you said anything for a few minutes while Vince sipped at his drink savouring his one alcoholic beverage before you glanced over your shoulder at the others and nodded them over.

"Vin, the guys are here. They wanna talk to you."

That had your brothers head snapping around so fast, "what? No. Y/N, I don't think-"

"We just wanna talk, Vinnie. That's it." Nikki explained calmly reaching the bar, but your brother just stared down at his glass refusing to look at him. "Come on, Vinnie."

Mick suddenly reached out and placed a firm but gentle hand on your brother's shoulder causing him to flinch.

"Let's talk." Mick said.

Vince glanced over at you hesitantly and you gave him a small reassuring nod causing your brother to let out a deep sigh.

"Okay."

The group of you moved over to a table at the far side of the bar away from everyone else. You sat down between Nikki and Tommy while Mick grabbed some soda for you all and placed it on the table while Nikki spoke.

"I was scared." Nikki admitted, looking at Vince beside him. "After what happened with Razzle, I was scared that I was losing the only thing that ever mattered to me."

"Yeah, your band." Vince muttered.

"No. No. This." Nikki explained motioning to all of you around the table. "Look, we went to war together. Shit changes, people change, but I don't fucking care if Mötley Crüe never plays another note. All I want is my fucking brother back. Because this is the only family that I've ever known."

"We love you, Vin. Okay, fuck, I love ya." Tommy added.

"And I am sorry about Skylar, man." Nikki said gently.

Vince lowered his head avoiding everyone's eyes as his body started to shake and you knew your brother was trying not to cry at the mention of his daughter.

"It's against the laws, man." Vince sobbed, shaking his head. "It's against the fucking rules of the universe."

Your own eyes began to fill with tears as you stared at your brother struggling to hold it together before Mick wrapped his arm around him and that was all it took before Vince started to cry.

"Hey." Nikki soothed, resting his hand on Vince's shoulder.

"We got you, brother." Mick whispered, holding him. "We got you, brother."

Tommy suddenly pulled you into his side while you silently cried, his thumb rubbing soothing circles against your back. Tears trickled down your face in a heavy stream despite how hard you tried to stop them, and Nikki reached over with his free hand and grabbed yours on the table giving it a small squeeze for comfort.

Eventually, the tears came to an end. Vince managed to get a hold of himself while you sniffed quietly. Your brother glanced over at you noticing your tear-streaked face before he looked at Tommys arm around you and Nikki's hand holding yours.

"Look, Vince-" Nikki quickly began to say, but your brother cut him off.

"You three together?"

Mick stiffened from across the table fearful that this might be the breaking point for Mötley Crüe. If Vince couldn't accept it, that was it. There was no coming back for Mötley Crüe and the older man knew it. You all knew it.

"I love them, Vince." You began to say before either of them had a chance to open their mouths and say something stupid.

A look of shock washed over your brothers face at those words. He knew that the three of you used to hook up and you eventually told him about the miscarriage. But Vince probably just assumed that it was a casual thing between the three of you. He didn't know that you were in love, and you hoped like hell that piece of new information wouldn't make him any madder than he already was.

You loved Nikki and Tommy.

You loved them both so fucking much, and you were done trying to hide it.

"Yeah, I love them." You continued to say. "And I know you don't approve of that. And we shouldn't have snuck around behind your back way back when, and for that, I'm sorry. But I can't change how I feel."

Vince remained worriedly silent for quite some time while he looked between the three of you carefully.

Tommy and Nikki seemed too frightened to speak which was probably a good thing and Mick was sitting there holding his breath, waiting to see what would happen.

"You guys love each other?" Vince eventually asked, his tone forcefully neutral as he glanced between you all.

"We do, man." Tommy answered without hesitation. "I know your sister is off limits, but we love her, dude. This isn't just some fling or something. We love her."

"He's right." Nikki backed up, Vince's eyes shooting over to the bassist. "Look, man. I've never felt the way I feel about your sister with anyone. I love her, and I'm not going to apologise for it. If you want to walk away, we aren't going to stop you."

"Or you can come back and Mötley Crüe can start playing again." Mick spoke up, resting his hand on Vince's shoulder.

Your brother glanced over at the older man briefly before shifting his focus back to the guys beside you taking in Tommys arm around your back and Nikki's hand still holding yours against the table.

Your heart felt like it was beating out of its chest in anticipation until your brother eventually nodded.

"Let's make some fucking music."

-

After announcing Mötley Crüe were back with Vince Neil as their lead singer, the first show sold out within an hour of tickets going on sale.

"Tommy, sit still or I'm gonna ruin your makeup." You warned from where you were literally sitting in his lap trying to apply his eyeliner, but he kept tapping his foot. "God, I forgot how fidgety you used to be before a show."

"I can't help it. I get nervous." He said defensively but managed to stop moving his foot so you could finish.

You lowered the eyeliner and stared at his beautiful hazel eyes making sure they were both perfectly even before you nodded at your handy work in approval.

"Can I move now, baby?"

"Yes, but be careful not to smudge-"

His lips crashed against yours before you could finish that sentence. It was rushed and needy, but perfect all at once.

You tossed the eyeliner in the general direction of the desk before resting your hand over his bare chest. Your fingers traced over the new tattoos that weren't there the last time you were on tour together. His hand shifted down to your waist, sliding up under your jacket until his warm fingers found your skin and he kept his hand there while you kissed him back needily.

The door to your dressing room suddenly opened causing the two of you to pull apart. You looked over your shoulder to find Nikki walking inside now dressed in his leather pants and new black jacket. His signature warpaint stripes were on his face along with a bandana around his forehead.

"Looking good, Sixx." You whistled as he closed the door behind himself, his cheeks blushing a little at your compliment.

You glanced back over at Tommy who was still holding you in his lap and now had red lipstick smeared over his lips.

"I need to wipe this off." You said reaching up to his mouth, but he grabbed your hand before you could do it.

"Leave it. It'll remind me of you."

Your heart swelled at that small gesture before Nikki walked over to the two of you and spun the chair you were both occupying around until you were facing him.

"Your look is missing something." Nikki observed looking your new outfit up and down.

It was just a simple pair of leather pants with chains hanging from the belt loops and a sleeveless red lacy top that probably showed too much skin and cleavage, but neither of the guys commented on it not wanting to control what you wore which you appreciated.

"Close your eyes for me." Nikki instructed.

You raised your eyebrows, "um, why?"

"Do you trust me?"

"With my life." You answered without hesitation.

"Close your eyes."

You nodded and closed your eyes before Nikki's hand cupped the side of your face gently and then you felt him drawing a small line along your left cheek bone.

There was no mistaking what that mark was.

"T-bone. What do you think?" Nikki asked tilting your head to the side so Tommy could see.

"She's fucking beautiful, man."

"Yeah, she is." Nikki agreed before he lowered his hand from your face, and you felt the chair start to turn again. "Open your eyes, princess."

Slowly, you blinked your eyes open to find yourself now facing the mirror on the desk. Your eyes shifted down to the singular black stripe of warpaint on your cheek that was identical to what you used to have all those years ago.

You smiled at the mirror, "like old times."

Nikki and Tommy both met your gaze through the mirror with bright smiles.

The faded scars on your face and upper arm from the car crash back in 1984 were traced with glitter like you used to do on tour. However, the healed scars on your wrist were covered with bracelets.

You fiddled with the bracelets for a moment before catching sight of the clock on the wall behind.

"It's show time." You announced, climbing off Tommy's lap before shrugging off your leather jacket and throwing it onto the desk. "You boys ready?"

Tommy nodded, "hell yeah."

"Let's do it." Nikki grinned.

You followed the guys out the dressing room and down the long narrow corridor towards the stage before you knocked on Mick's dressing room door as you passed.

"Mick, it's time!" You shouted before walking over to your brother's door and knocking. "Vin, let's roll!"

Nikki then threw his arm around your shoulders while he walked, Tommy off to his other side fiddling with his drumsticks. Mick came out his room joining you down the corridor wearing his long black coat and top hat and then Vince stepped out in his leather pants and black muscle shirt.

The five of you walked down the corridor in sync together.

Vince wrapped his arms around you and Nikki with a bright smile spreading across his face. Tommy sprung himself in the air with one hand on Micks shoulder and another on Nikki's as he jumped up excitingly causing you all to laugh as you made your way towards the stage.

You slipped free from Vince and Nikki as you rounded the corner towards the backstage stairs and paused at the base of them watching the guys all walk up towards the stage.

A swell of love and pride washed over you.

Whenever Tommy sat down behind his drums and Nikki picked up his bass, and Mick plugged in his guitar, something always happened. It was like the air thickened with excitement. You couldn't put your finger on it, but it was like a weird kind of electrical humidity. You didn't just hear it, you felt it. Then Vince would scream the first few words of a song and all you could think was, 'we're home.'

You were a lot older now but some days you still felt eighteen with these guys.

This band had outlived wives and girlfriends, managers, record companies, agents- everything but itself.

From living in the Mötley House along the Sunset Strip and playing at the Whiskey to this moment... Mötley Crüe had fucking made it.

Nikki suddenly stopped halfway up the stairs noticing you were missing and turned in confusion. His smoky eyes locked with yours and he held his hand out towards you. You jogged up the steps and took his hand with a small squeeze.

"You did it. Mötley Crüe are back." You smiled proudly at him. "This is our life."

"If life was a song, then meeting you was the best verse." Nikki whispered in your ear before he placed a tender kiss to your lips.

You closed your eyes savouring the moment before Nikki pulled away with a bright smile on his face. His hand squeezed yours gently before he led you up the stairs catching up with the others just as you reached the stage and the crowd erupted.

Vince threw his hands up in the air enthusiastically. Tommy and Mick holding up devil horns while you stared out at the stadium full of people in front of you. The crowd was screaming and cheering louder than you had ever heard it as Nikki held your joined hands up to the sky.

After everything the band had been through together. All the years of fights, drugs, alcohol, criticism, heartbreak... after everything, they were still here.

That's fate.

That's family.

And that's Mötley fuckin' Crüe.

-

...THE END

-

A/N: I'm actually crying...

I didn't think I'd get emotional about this. It's just a fanfic, it's a fake story... but it's also real. It's based on true events from the band we all know and love, but to me, writing this story has been like a lifeline. And now it's over and I have no idea what to do.

From listening to Girls Girls Girls in my dad's car on the way to school when I was a kid... to 15 years later and I'm blasting Kickstart My Heart in my own car driving to work... then fast forward a couple years to the 14th of November 2023, I'm standing at Marvel Stadium in Melbourne over 1,5000km away from home with my dad watching Mötley Crüe live in concert.

Seeing Mötley Crüe in person... seeing Nikki Sixx on stage playing his bass... seeing Tommy Lee unleash on the drums... hearing Vince Neil scream the songs I grew up listening to and hearing John 5 tearing it up on his guitar carrying on Mick Mars' legacy... words cannot do justice to how fucking amazing those couple of hours were.

In 2022, I moved to a small country town for my career. I live alone. I have no friends or family in this town, they all live over 8 hours away. I'm introvert with bad social anxiety and I like being alone. I like my own space and having my own house, but it hurts sometimes being this lonely, but Mötley Crüe have helped me. From their music to their books, to their movie; The Dirt, to all their YouTube interviews and documentaries to their social media presence. Mötley Crüe have made me feel less lonely. They have helped me in so many ways and I owe everything to them.

I know I'm rambling, but Mötley Crüe, Nikki Sixx, Tommy Lee, Vince Neil, Mick Mars and John 5 have saved my life. Sure, to some that might seem stupid and pathetic. Mötley Crüe don't know me. They never will. But they have impacted my life so much and I would not be here typing these words if it wasn't for them. 

So, from the bottom of my heart, I want to thank them.

I don't know what the future holds.

Mötley Crüe are doing some shows in America this year and releasing new music soon (I am so fucking excited to hear it) and according to Nikki on Twitter/X, the band will be back to touring in 2025.

Now, I don't know if that means they will come back to Australia or not, but just the thought... just the mere chance and possibility that Mötley Crüe might be back in my country that is enough to keep going. It is enough to get me out of bed in the mornings and go to work. It is enough for me to keep fighting and I know I will get judged for it but fuck anyone who hates on me for saying that because this band means more to me than you will ever know.

ANYWAY...

When I first started writing this, I never imaged anyone would even read it. I was purely writing this for myself, but I am so so happy that many of you have loved and resonated with this story and Y/N Neil.

Out all the fanfics I've ever written this one means the most to me. Thank you for coming along on this journey. I have had a blast writing this and at the moment, this story is finished, but who knows what the future holds ❤️

This is Sourwolf_sterek32 signing off. Until next time, stay safe everyone. I'm going to go cry and rewatch The Dirt for the hundredth time to make myself feel better xx

[daydreamingatnight209]

Me actually writing and posting? What??? 😱😱😱

Enjoy some Colson content my lovelies 🥰

As usual Feedback is welcome, HATE is not ; if you don’t like it, don’t read it. ✨💕

“I’m Here, Go Back to Sleep”

MGK x Female Reader

Warnings - None. Just pure fluff!

——————————————————————————

Waking up to an empty bed these days wasn’t unusual these days, with the album deadline slowly creeping up day by day, Colson spent almost all of his hours in the studio, working himself to the bone to produce an album everyone can enjoy.

With your own workplace continuously overworking you, sleep or time didn’t come easily to you either. You couldn’t remember the last time both you and Colson had actually spent more than a few minutes at a time together in the same room and it was starting to become very lonely.

Leaving the cold and empty bed, after another night of hopeless tossing and turning, you sigh and drag yourself downstairs to the kitchen. Preparing for another day to survive on coffee you make one for both yourself and your boyfriend who didn’t even leave the studio last night. It was most likely he fell asleep there in the very early hours of the morning.

While the lack of sleep wasn’t new for Colson, it certainly was for you and you could feel it slowly starting to affect your mind and body.

You grab him a change of clothes, a blanket for yourself and his favourite aftershave before crossing over from the house into the converted studio space.

With the band already in session, you slipped in almost undetected, but as always, your eyes caught Colson’s immediately. You give him a small smile and walk over to give him what you had brought over.

“Babe, what are you doing up so early? You look exhausted” he whispers as he presses a gentle kiss to your forehead.

You let out a small laugh and set yourself down on the closest chair.

“Gee, thanks Col”

After a quick clothes change and the others leaving in search for food, Colson calls you over to the desk he’s working at.

“Come, let me hold you” he mumbles, stretching his long arms out in your direction.

Wrapping the blanket tightly around you, you walk over to your lover and wrap yourself around him so you were straddling him. He holds you tightly and sways gently.

“You need to get some proper rest, baby, you are going to make yourself ill” he tells you softly.

You giggle to yourself at his concern for you, knowing full well he wouldn’t take his own advice even if you begged him.

“I’ll rest when you do” is your answer and you can practically feel him rolling his eyes at you, despite not actually being able to see him as you rest your head in the crook of his neck.

The two of you sit there quietly, as colson continues to sway you and hum a track from the new album into your ear.

Despite not being able to sleep properly, something about being in colson’s arms after so long, settles you and you cannot fight the call of sleep that beckons you. Your eyes close slowly and without protest as you rest against the frame of your man, the feeling of safely enveloping you.

Colson smiles down at you, tenderly, the look of frustration and stress leaving your features as you snore lightly.

He would be lying to himself if he said he hadn’t missed these small intimate moments with you and did feel quite guilty for not making more time for you while in the process of doing this next album. You never once complained and took everything in your stride which is on of the many things he loved about you.

He couldn’t wait to look after you and treat you to something special as a way of thanks for all your support when the album was complete.

His train of thought was interrupted as he heard everyone coming back to continue the session. He panicked slightly as they all barged through the door and glared at them in an effort to silence the rowdiness they were currently displaying.

“Shhh! She hasn’t slept properly in weeks and I swear if any one of you wake her up! …” Colson hisses at his friends, before looking down at you to ensure you were still peacefully sleeping.

Slim is the first to put his hands up in mock surrender, a smirk plastered on his face as he leads the group back out the door, but he was secretly glad that this would mean Colson would be forced to take a break, even if it was just an hour or so. He knew he definitely needed one.

Once alone again, Colson lifts you up with ease and carries you over to the sofa, laying you down and climbing in beside you. He wraps his arms back around you settles in. The movement causes you to stir slightly, your eyes still closed you mumble for your boyfriend not to leave you.

“Shh baby, I’m here, go back to sleep”

[triplexdoublex]

What The Cuck?

Parings: Pete x Reader / Colson x Reader

Warnings/tags: Cuckholding, squirting, P In V sex, Anal sex, Anal gaping, cum play, cum farting, make shift cock ring, dirty talk, degradation.

A/N: Hope you guys enjoy this, and that it was worth the wait! I’m opening anons back up.

“That’s it, Pete! I’m done, I’m leaving!” You shouted in the middle of a heated argument.

“Oh yeah, where you gonna go!?” Pete fired back as you made your way to the front door.

“I dunno, maybe I’ll go to back to Colson—he fucks me better than you do anyways!!” You let the door slam behind you.

The second it left your lips you regretted it. You were so caught up in the argument you were just saying things to be hurtful and spiteful at that point— even if there was a hint of truth to it.

It’s not that sex with Pete was bad by any means, but, yeah, Colson was definitely better. You had dated Colson for a few years, prior to you dating Pete, but things had ended amicably— just due to his hectic schedule.

You had gotten close to Pete through his friendship with Colson, and with him being more available, your friendship seemed to naturally progress into something more. Colson didn’t mind, a lot of people in their friends group had dated the same girls before, plus you were still on friendly terms with Colson, so it made group hangouts a lot less awkward.

You hoped your angry outburst wouldn’t affect their friendship, especially after you and Pete had made up and got back together. Neither of you brought it up. You silently hoped he had forgotten about it, much like how you both seemed to forget what had even started the silly argument in the first place. But you couldn’t help but notice the way he began acting when you both were around Colson lately; the way Pete tensed up when ever Colson got close to you, the way Pete would fuck you so hard the second you were alone again, like he had something to prove. At least that’s what you assumed, but the truth is Pete had a very different reason for the way he’d been acting. A reason that all came to light one day after an afternoon at Colson’s, followed by an intense fuck by Pete.

You had barely finished coming down from your high and catching your breath when Pete brought it up.

“So uhh, I’ve been thinking .. a-about what you said when we were fighting — ya know umm , what you said about Colson—”

“Pete, I’m so sorry.. I shouldn’t have said that , I was just mad and—”

“But you meant it? Didn’t you? He fucked you better than me.” Pete said, the last part sounding more like a statement than a question.

“Pete I-I” you stuttered , giving yourself away “I don’t—”

“Don’t lie to me, Y/N. Tell me the truth. Tell me he fucked you better than me!” His breathing increased and his flaccid dick slowly started springing to life again. “I wanna hear you say it!”

“Pete what the hell is —”

“Just say it! —PLEASE!” He cut you off , hand reaching for his hardening cock.

“Fine—! Uhhhh.. Colson fucked me better than you!— Happy?”

And happy he was; his shaft standing at full mast once more as he worked himself at lighting speed, “AGAIN!” He pleaded.

“Colson fucked me better than YOU!” You obliged, confused as hell but turned on nonetheless.

“Ughh Fuck— s-say something else.. about you and Colson , I’m- I’m so close!”

“At least Colson’s made me squirt before!” You teased.

That was exactly what he wanted, exactly what he needed , his cock fountaining over his fist.

“Pete. what the—” you were at a loss for words, but strangely into whatever the fuck was going on.

“I have no idea, all I know is that day we were fighting…and you said Colson fucks you better than me and slammed the door…I’ve…I’ve never been that hard in my life…haven’t been able to stop thinking about Colson fucking you since,” Pete admitted, out of breath. “Do you think Colson would … if .. if I asked?”

“Lemme get this straight — y-you wanna watch Colson fuck me?” You asked, completely flabbergasted.

“Yeah and not just that— like I want you both to tell me what a piece of shit I am in bed.”

“But — but you’re not! Colson’s not even that much b—”

“Just indulge me, ok?” Pete cut you off.

“Man, and I thought Colson had some weird kinks!” You teased. “But to answer your earlier question.. yeah, I think Colson would absolutely do it.”

“And umm.. uhh— what about you?”

“If you're really serious about this then, yeah, I guess I would. I mean , I’ve already had sex with him before so I don’t think it’d be a big deal.”

***********

“So you’re a cuck!?” Colson exclaims with a chuckle, after Pete proposes the idea the next time the three of you are alone together at Colson’s house.

“A what?” Pete questions

“A cuck— C’mom Pete, there’s a whole category on pornhub for this shit, what’d you think you were special cuz you wanna be degraded while you watch your girl get fucked?

“Well excuuuse me, for not being an expert in kink terminology like you” Pete jokes nervously. “So will you do it or not?”

“Oh I’ll do it alright,” Colson smirks as he makes his way over to the couch in his bedroom, where you’re sitting next to Pete.

Your abdomen churns with desire with every step he takes towards you. It’s been a long time since you’ve been with him in this way and you almost feel guilty at how much you’re eagerly awaiting his touch, his cock, his everything.

“I’d love to hear about how this came up,” Colson teases as he pulls you off the couch to your feet and roughly spins you around to face Pete. “You gonna tell me the story, pretty girl?” He prompts, from behind you, lips ghosting along the side of your neck and a hand slowly gliding up your inner thigh, causing your clit to swell with excitement.

You gulp with nervous anticipation before speaking as Colson’s fingers begin to disappear under the hem of your pleated skirt, and Pete’s eyes widen. “W—we had an argument, and I …Mmhhhm.. I said some things,” you let out a moan mid sentence, his fingertips having found your already engorged bud.

“You told him I fucked you better, didn’t you?” He roughly cups your pussy with his large hand, a smirk present in his tone. You nod, but it’s not good enough for him, he wants to hear you say it. “C’mon baby, you know I like it when you use your words.”

You let out a meek “yes” in response but he still wants more.

“Full sentences baby, and look at Pete when you say it.” He roughly jerks your jaw up with his free hand, forcing you to make eye contact with Pete. “Tell him who fucks you better!”

You look to Pete with unsure eyes— this is all so strangely alluring but a small part of you is still worried about hurting his feelings. But Pete gives a reassuring nod, letting you know it’s ok.

“Colson— Colson fucks me better than you!” You continue.

Instantly, you swear you can actually see Pete’s pupils darken and expand with lust — he’s truly enjoying this.

“Damn right I do!” Colson licks a bold stripe up your neck. “Did you tell him I can make you squirt?” He questions. “And use your words this time!” He warns, intensifying his grasp between your thighs.

“I did.”

“Yeah, well maybe we should do more than just tell him, maybe we should show him,” he growls in your ear as he slips your skirt off your hips and down your thighs, followed by your panties, helping you step out of them. “Feel how fucking wet your girl is for me.” Colson says tossing your soaked panties at Pete.

“Jesus, babe!” Pete gasps looking at you after catching the saturated fabric in his hand, his voice cracking into a brief laugh of disbelief at just how truly drenched they are.

“Bet you never get her that wet!” Colson mocks, and a wave of guilt mixed with humiliation wages over you, because there’s no denying that Colson’s right.

But Pete doesn’t seem the least bit bothered by the revelation, in fact he stuffs your wet undergarment down his pants and begins rubbing himself with them, all while keeping his eyes intensely locked on you and Colson. He watches wide eyed as Colson shoves you forward. You’re practically straddling Pete’s lap from where you stand now, your stance widening as Colson inserts two long slender fingers inside of you.

“Mmmm Fuck!” You cry out, your hips already bucking against his hand when his fingertips reach your G-Spot; each prod against it an erotic novel being written in Morse code. Your arousal is plentiful and squelches audibly between his fingers as you begin to tighten around his slick digits. Moan after incoherent moan fall from your lips, as he expertly works your spot.

“I can feel your pussy gripping my fingers. You’re already close, Huh?” He teases with a laugh. “I still remember all your tells,” he smirks. “And I still remember how right when you start to cum you let out that little sque—”

And as if on cue your voice cracks, your moans morphing into a shrill squeak as your orgasm warmly pulses to life in your abdomen.

“Ahh there it,” Colson chuckles smuggly, watching as your release gushes onto Petes lap; the soft light denim of his jeans now morphing into dark patches of midnight blue, all while Pete’s hand moves furiously beneath their fabric.

Pete’s speechless, his eyes flicking from you to the mess in his lap and back again in exhilarating disbelief like an unsuspecting passersby of some David Blayne-eques street magic. It was one thing to watch some strange girl in a porn squirt a million miles away behind the screen of his laptop, but it was another experience entirely to watch it live in front of him, as his own girl soaked his lap at the hands of his best friend.

“Annnd that my friends is the look of a man who’s never made a girl squirt in his life!” Colson taunts with a chuckle, while licking his fingers clean. “And don’t even think for a second that I’m done with her yet.”

Without warning Colson grabs you roughly from behind and maneuvers you in the direction of the bed, tossing you face down on his mattress. “ Ass up, you know how I like it.” He instructs before snatching off your remaining clothing.

You’ve barely even had a chance to come down from your first orgasm — in fact you're still dripping- when you hear Colson fumbling with his belt behind you. And the next thing you know he’s inside you, not even giving you a moment to adjust, his huge cock stretches you so deliciously, so perfect, each thrust pummeling your g-spot just like you remember.

“Fuck, Colson— so good.” You cry out.

“Yeah, you like this big dick deep in your guts, huh you little slut? Want me to keep fucking in front of your man like the fucking whore that you are?”

“Yess!” You moan breathily. God, he could dirty talk like no other.

“I know what else you like—” he proceeds to lick his thumb. “You like this pretty pink asshole played with, don’t you? He begins tracing his slick thumb in circles over the tight ring of muscle, slowly coaxing it open enough for him to slip his thumb inside” Your breath hitches in pleasure as it enters you.

“Mmmhmm FUCK! I missed my ass being played with like this.”

“Missed?” Colson’s questions. “Don’t tell me my boy Pete over here is too much of a pussy for some anal play?” He says, giving his friend a dirty look.

“It’s ‘not his thing’.” You mock while making direct eye contact with Pete.

“Can’t even give your girl what she wants— Pathetic !!!” Colsons fires his words in Pete’s direction, while he rotates his thumb inside you. “Now your sorry ass can sit there and watch ME give it to her.”

Pete’s eating this up, every teasing and taunting word spat his way traveling straight to dick. So much so that Pete desperately needs out of the hellish confines of his jeans to work himself more vigorously. His dark, wide pupils stay locked on the scene before him as he quickly lowers his pants down and over his pale ass to their final resting place right above his knees, and pulls out his cock, your soaked panties tumbling out with it.

Colson’s long slender body contours to your curves as he leans forward to seductively whisper in your ear “Should I loosen you up a little more, since it’s been so long? Or you think you can take me?”

“Fuck, Colson! Just give it to me!”

You know it’s gonna hurt, but you're so desperate to feel him back there again that you don’t care — besides in the words of Colson himself ‘a little bit of pain kinda make it feel good sometimes.’

With nothing but remnants of your arousal and his own spit as lube he begins his taboo entrance into what most only consider an exit. You relax your body and breathe through the inevitable discomfort of adjusting to his size, just as he had taught you years ago.

“Good girl, that’s it, breathe.” He praises. “You know it’s gonna feel so good in a minute.” He gently caresses your hips, helping you relax further.

By the time his length is fully inserted the pain has already begun to subside, replaced by the most intoxicating pleasurable fullness; every tiny nerve ending inside you set ablaze. God, you’ve missed the unique sensation. He feels impossibly deep, but yet somehow you crave him deeper.

“Fuck, Colson. Right there” you cry out as you push back against him; your backside now pressed appropriately against his XXX tattoo.

Just when you think it can’t possibly feel anymore pleasureful he begins to move inside you, slow at first, drawing his hips back until he almost slips out, then steadily forward until his hips kiss your backside again, his thick length reaching that pleasurable spot deep within you.

“So good, sooo FUCK-ing good, Oh My God , Colson!” You babble, already inebriated off his cock.

“Mmmmm Yeah, say my name again, remind Pete who fucks you right!”

It’s at this point you realize you’ve been so lost in the pleasure your ex is giving you that you completely forgot your boyfriend exists, nevermind the fact that he’s in the same room .. watching!

A cocktail of arousal and guilt swirl in your abdomen as you look towards Pete. Lucky for you he hasn’t seen to notice, too lost in his own fantasy-come-to-life playing out in front of him.

Suddenly, Pete’s head lolls back, his eyes slip shut and his eyebrows knit together ; a sign you know all too well.

“Gonna— Mmmm Fuck!, Gonna cum first like usual?” You taunt Pete through shattered moans.

Determined not to prove you right, Pete stills his motions for a moment and tightly grips himself at the base, silently wishing he had a cockring to restrict blood flow and help him last longer.

Pete adjusts his position on the couch while trying to gain some composure before he busts, his free hand coming down on something wet — you’re panties from earlier. The discovery sparks an idea. In an act of pure desperation, Pete fashions a makeshift cockring from the garment, quickly twisting the elastic waistband around the base of his cock, veins bulging almost immediately. Despite his best efforts he knows he isn’t buying himself that much more time, especially when he notices the way your arousal from your unplugged hole is dripping down your inner thighs like thick honey; so sweet he can almost taste it.

Colson's stamina is unmatched, he could drill your asshole for hours on end if you really needed him too, but he knows you're ready to cum by the way your legs are beginning to shake. You can feel it too, the way your lower abdomen squeezes and tightens climbing it way to the peak, and then just like a rollercoaster it comes surging down at a break-neck speed, an endless series of loop de loops as you climax hard. Your body is useless,, unable to even hold itself up on all fours while Colson’s warm cum fills you to the brim.

Quickly Colson pulls out and props you back up, turning your body so your ass faces Pete, and spreads your cheeks open. “Uhgmm, yeahh, fuck!” His voice is dry and raspy “Show Pete that gape, and show Pete how I came inside you, push it all out baby, let him see.”

You do as you’re told, and Pete cums, forcefully fountaining over his fist at the site of his best friends cum bubbling and farting out of your used hole.

The three of you are blissfully silent in the aftermath but it’s quite clear by everyone’s euphoric expression this will definitely be happening again .

[meganfoxrocksmyworld]

Megan Fox and Drew Barrymore talking Pretty Boys Are Poisonous.

[i-think-i-did-it-again]

The Tour XV

Warning: swearing, violence, smut

Your conversation with Rook had you so tense you could barely see straight. You didn’t get a chance to say much to him after his confession, interrupted by everyone else piling onto the bus to head to the next destination. Colson could sense the weirdness between you but he didn’t say anything, almost like he was letting you come to him.

You couldn’t really accept that Rook meant the horrible things he’s said to you about Colson. You tried to not let it bother you but deep down you knew it was something that you worried about, in the back of your mind. You’d spent the last few weeks with him waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

You’re not really sure where you two are given your conversation the night before so when the bus quiets down and everyone begins their rituals for bed, you scoot into your usual bunk and try to let sleep overcome you. Rook hadn’t really said much to you but he hadn’t been rude either. When you stopped for dinner, he stood outside the roadhouse bathroom for you for safety. He didn’t say anything and you didn’t ask him to, he just did it anyway. You can tell deep down that the two of you will work through your issues but it still hurts that he said what he did.

The sound of your curtain pulls you from your thoughts and arms wrapping around your waist and yanking you from your warm bed makes you squeal with fear. You try to fight whoever it is, not sure if everyone is pulling some tour bus initiation with you or if someone has broken onto the bus. You flail in the strangers arms until you hear a familiar voice.

“Baby, it’s just me,” Colson whispers in your ear and you instantly relax. Your heartbeat slows and your breathing evens out. 

“You scared the shit out of me,” you pout as he sets you down in the aisle. He looks sexy in nothing but workout shorts and no t-shirt and you take a second to drink him in.

“Hey, my eyes are up here,” he teases you, half covering his body with his hands. “Why are you sleeping in the bunk and not in my bed?”

“Oh I…” 

You don’t really have a reason. You would be more than happy to sleep in his bed but you weren’t sure if he’d want that given you’ve only done it once on the bus and that was before everyone knew about the two of you.

Will everyone just assume we’re fucking all night?

Sharing a bed to only sleep feels…couple like. You’re trying to push down that desperate need almost every woman has to ‘label it’ but it seems almost unavoidable at this point. You realise by the confused look on Colson’s face that you didn’t actually answer his question so you fumble for reason.

“I was waiting for you to invite me,” you lie quickly, covering your discomfort with a small smile.

“Just take her and fuck her already,” Rook groans from his bunk and your cheeks immediately heat.

“What the fuck is your problem?!” Colson rips his curtain open and glowers at his friend. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Rook answers calmly but his eyes dart to your face and Colson catches the movement.

“Oh my fucking god Rook,” Colson growls. “Are you in love with her?” he spits the words like they’re venom in his mouth.

The very heated conversation has garnered the attention of everyone on the bus now and Sophie and Sam now stand at the door that separates the bunks from the front of the bus, watching the drama unfold uncomfortably. You want to say something, anything but words don’t seem enough at this point and you’re pretty sure Rook wouldn’t listen to anything you have to say right now anyway.

“Answer the fucking question asshole,” Colson screams in his face.

He practically drags Rook from his bunk and flings him to the floor. Sophie grabs your arm and pulls you away from the commotion as Rook jumps to his feet. You want to stop whatever is about to happen but Sophie won’t let you go.

“Let them work it out,” she whispers in your ear and you can feel the horrified expression on your face at her sense of calm.

“They’ll kill each other!” you screech at Colson takes his first swing at Rook, his fist connecting with Rook’s jaw. Rook recovers quickly and swings back.

“It’s the way they do things,” Sophie shrugs but doesn’t let your arm go.

“YOU HAD YOUR FUCKING CHANCE AND YOU BLEW IT!” Colson screams in Rook’s face as he pins him to the wall.

“THAT DOESN’T MEAN YOU GET HER!”

You almost think they’ve forgotten you’re standing right there and the feminist in you is pissed but you can see Sophie’s logic. Rook’s words earlier weren’t about you, they were about Colson. About his concern for Colson's intentions. He just doesn’t want you getting hurt because he doesn’t want to lose either of his friends. Maybe part of it is still a possessive jealousy he feels that it didn’t work out with the two of you but that was years ago and he’s dated since. It’s not like he hasn’t moved on but the thought of you with Colson brings the feelings rushing back.

Would that have changed my decision after Colson kissed me for the first time?

The guilt that overtakes you at the answer to your internal question is crushing. Nothing could change how you feel about Colson, not even the possibility of hurting your best friend. You wish you could blame it on having been single for so long that you missed the feeling of being wanted but you know that’s not the truth. It’s because it’s Colson that wants you and nothing else. The man you’ve craved since the moment you met him, so much so that even Rook noticed it.

“Because you never looked at me the way you look at him.”

Colson and Rook are bloodied and bruises forming on both their faces. Their fight doesn’t look to be ending but you can’t stand watching them destroy each other for one more second. You pull away from Sophie and push your body between the two of them. Instantly, their fists stop and you can feel their ragged breathing as you press your palms into their chests. 

“Stop, please,” you beg them. You feel a drop of blood from Colson’s nose drop onto your arm but you don’t pull away. “I don’t want you to kill each other over me, that’s stupid and pointless. Besides, neither of you are actually mad at the other.”

“Like fucking hell I’m not,” Colson growls, trying to move you out of his way but you stand firm.

“No, you’re not. You’re pissed because you’re worried he’s going to do something to get between us but trust me, that is not what’s happening here and you,” turn to scrutinise Rook’s battered face. “You’re mad at yourself for not speaking up and because I didn’t ask for your input about Colson and me but here’s a fucking newsflash, you will not now nor will you ever have a say in my relationships. We went on one date a lifetime ago and you’ve been with plenty of women since so don’t you dare play the victim with us. This is a good thing that is happening to two of your closest friends, why would you want to stand in the way of that?”

Rook doesn’t answer you. He pushes away and stalks off to the kitchenette, pushing past Sam and Sophie. They each give you both a small smile before following after him. You know you probably should too but you also know you’re the last person Rook wants to see or talk to right now. He hates it when you’re picking a movie or what to have for dinner and he especially hates it right now. You’re always right. He can’t fight logic, he can’t fight rationality and he hates that about you. You’re always logical and rational about even the most minor decisions in life.

“Let’s clean your face up,” you grab Colson’s hand to lead him to the small bathroom. 

It’s slightly suffocating with the two of you in there but you don’t mind the feeling of his body pressed against yours. You grab a washcloth from the small pile under the sink and dampen it. You gently brush the blood away from under Colson’s nose, rinse it and repeat. Once the blood is gone, you wipe the cloth on his bloodied lip and the blood staining his chest and stomach. When you’re sure he is sufficiently clean, you turn back to the sink and wring the washcloth out, placing it in the small hamper in the bathroom. You rinse your arm under the water, washing away Colson’s dry blood, and your hands with soap. In the tight space, your ass brushes against Colson’s crotch every time you move. You feel his dick respond so you deliberately push back a little firmer until he growls. Wrapping his hand around your throat, he pulls you against him.

“If you keep doing that, I’m going to have to bend you over and fuck you right here, rough and fast,” he nips at your ear and your panties pool with need.

“Do it,” you encourage him with a grin, staring at him with ‘fuck me’ eyes in the mirror.

Colson wastes no time bending you over the sink and ripping your panties down. He pulls his thick, hard cock from his shorts and rubs himself along your pussy lips a few times. He reaches around and places his hand in front of your mouth.

“Spit,” he instructs and you oblige.

Colson uses his now wet hand to lubricate his length with your saliva, stroking himself while he stares at you. Without warning, he lines himself up and plunges inside of you. You cry out and he immediately puts his hand over your mouth, muffling the curse words spewing from your lips. He spanks each one of your ass cheeks and you squeal with pleasure and pain. You can feel the handprints indenting on your skin but you don’t care.

“Dirty, dirty girl you are for daddy,” he praises you between thrusts and you’re practically a puddle under his sure movements. “I want you to come for me, can you do that for daddy?” you nod and he reaches his other hand around to rub your clit.

You drop your head, pleasure overcoming you, but Colson grabs your hair to pull you back up, burning you with his intense stare. You moan softly and grind back against him, practically fucking yourself against his dick. When he’s had enough of you taking control, Colson puts a hand on your hip and thrusts hard into you, impaling your pussy on his cock. You bite your bottom lip to keep from screaming out and his finger on your clit quickens. Before you can blink, the strongest orgasm you’ve ever had explodes through you. Your legs quiver, your pussy clenches and you’re all but falling to the bathroom floor. The only thing keeping you upright is Colson’s hands on your hips. It’s not long before he’s following your climax, thrusting roughly into you one more time before he fills you with thick ropes of cum.

Colson collapses against your back, his sweat smearing across your skin. He pants trying to drag in as much oxygen to his lungs as possible. You love the feeling of his face on your skin. the roughness of his stumble in contrast to your smooth skin. His lips brush up your spine and you shiver with his dick still inside you, softening. He kisses your shoulder blade, the top of your spine, your neck. You lean up, Colson slowly falling out of you, and you lean against him. You lift your arms over your head to wrap around his neck and you watch him in the mirror. Watch the movement of his lips, feel his hand reach under your shirt to cup your bare breasts. Embarrassment colours your cheeks as you realise he’s leaking out of you, the reminisce of your intimacy coating the bathroom floor. 

You pull away from him and grab the used washcloth from the hamper to clean the floor. You pull your sleep shorts back up to hold in anything that still remains inside you. Colson almost looks proud at that detail. He spins you, gripping your face in his hands, and kisses you for the first time since you got in here. You feel the cut on his lip as he moves against your own and he winces slightly when you run your tongue along it but he doesn’t pull back. Almost like he thinks your lips can heal him.

“We should go to bed,” you mumble against his lips. He pulls back and rests his forehead against yours.

“Only if you tell me the truth,” he murmurs and you frown at him.

“About what?” he didn’t ask you a question since he started banging you against the bathroom sink.

“Why were you trying to sleep in your bunk and not with me?” he pulls away to look you in the eye when you answer. You bite your bottom lip, unsure how to word your reasoning without sounding needy or desperate.

“I guess…we never really finished that ground rules discussion and I don’t want to assume things because it’s not like we’re together or anything, not that I care but I just, I’ve never done this before and-” you’re rambling and you know you are but you can’t stop yourself. 

Realisation appears in Colson’s eyes and he smiles at you before kissing you again. This time though, it’s passionate, full of fire and hot burning need. It’s sweet and intoxicating and overpowering. You need to pull away but you don’t want to pull away. You can’t bring yourself to end such an emotional kiss but Colson makes the decision for you.

“Y/N, will you be my girlfriend?” Colson asks you, a grin splitting his face knowing it’s the most 7th grade question in the world but you’re still practically melting that he asked it anyway.

“Ok,” you grin back and he seals it with a kiss.

This is pure joy and I’m going to enjoy every fucking minute of it.

Or so you thought.

******

Tag list: @mgklove99xx @anonymousme86

[elscaptive]

Random "The Dirt" cast photos (๑-﹏-๑)

[nothingbutpoison]

[jinx-on-mars-19xx]

[storiesforallfandoms]

all the mistakes ~ machine gun kelly

word count: 2866

request?: yes!

“I just started reading your stuff and I'm in love with the Colson stories!

I was wondering if you could do Colson x reader. Reader finds out she's pregnant by Colson and he doesn't think he's ready to be a dad again and abandons reader but then realizes a couple months later that he's truly in love with her and does everything he can to win her back?

If not, it's okay.. thank you ❤️”

description: in which he comes to apologize for all the mistakes he’s made leading up to the birth of their child

pairing: machine gun kelly x female!reader

warnings: swearing, child birth (not in detail obviously), lil angsty and sad but it ends happy, rpf (if you don’t like it don’t read)

masterlist (one, two, three)

Colson always said he wanted another kid. Especially once Casie started to go through her pre-teen years and he found himself wishing she was still a baby again. He and (Y/N) had talked about it so many times, and they had both agreed that they wanted to have a baby together.

So why did he run away when she actually got pregnant?

Colson could still remember it all so vividly: the look of happiness on (Y/N)’s face when she showed him the positive pregnancy test, the heavy feeling in his stomach that turned to panic that rose into his throat, the sound of (Y/N)’s voice as he grabbed some of his things and left without another word. He could remember the sound of his phone constantly chiming as (Y/N) tried to text and call him, until finally he had to put her contact on mute. It didn’t take her long to give up trying to contact him, though.

He didn’t know why he did it. He had been asked by so many people - his boys, his mom, Ash, even Casie herself - but he had no answer. When (Y/N) first told him she wanted to have kids with him, he had been so excited. So where did his sudden panic come from when it actually happened? Why was he suddenly so doubtful over his ability to be a father again?

He couldn’t bring himself to go back. He was embarrassed for the way he reacted, and he thought (Y/N) wouldn’t take him back anyways. Not that he blamed her. How could she take back the man who got her pregnant and then ran out on her? Because of his reluctance and fear of rejection, Colson didn’t see (Y/N) for months. And he would’ve kept it that way if it wasn’t for Casie throwing his car keys at him and forcing him out of the house.

“You have to go see her,” Casie said as she slammed the door in her father’s face and locked it.

“You gave me my keys, Cas, I can get back in,” he pointed out.

She held up the house key that usually hung on Colson’s keyring. “I took it off. You’re not getting back in until you go see (Y/N) and apologize for being stupid.”

“She’s not gonna wanna see me.”

“You don’t know that! She’s carrying your child, and I’d doubt she seriously wants that kid to grow up without a dad.”

Colson didn’t want to admit that he thought (Y/N) probably got rid of the baby the second he walked out on her. “Cas, come on, just let me back in.”

But Casie just crossed her arms and glared at him. After a few minutes, Colson sighed and rolled his eyes. There was no use in trying to get back in unless he did exactly what Casie wanted, so he went to his car and drove the familiar route to get to (Y/N)’s place.

At least I can get the rejection over with quickly and get back into my own house, he thought to himself.

Pulling up to her house, Colson started picturing the night he left again. He wanted nothing more than to turn his car around and go back home, but he knew Casie could tell if he was lying to her. His hands were shaking as he shut his car off and put the keys into his pocket. He was almost hoping that (Y/N) wasn’t home. Maybe if she wasn’t, Casie would drop it and let him back into the house without having to actually deal with the situation.

But her car was in the driveway, so she had to be home.

Colson made his way up to the front door and raised his hand to knock. He hesitated, unable to make his hand move. His brain was still screaming at him to turn around and go home, but he had come this far. He couldn’t just back out now. At the very least, maybe he could give (Y/N) some closure so they could both move on from this, since he knew there was no way that she was going to take him back.

He finally moved his hand to knock. It didn’t take long for him to hear the sound of footsteps coming towards the door, and when the door opened it felt like the floodgates within him had opened.

(Y/N) was stood there, her belly big enough to tell him that she was still carrying his child. She had never looked so beautiful to him before.

Her eyes were wide, almost like a deer caught in headlights. He was the last person she expected to see on her doorstep, and she wasn’t sure if she wanted to slam the door in his face or throw herself into his arms and beg for him to never let her go again.

“Hey,” Colson finally said. “Uh...I’m sorry to surprise you like this. I probably should’ve called first or something.”

“You wouldn’t have gotten through. I blocked your number,” she told him.

Ouch, he thought. I deserve that, though.

“What are you doing here?” she asked. “If it’s to finally get the last of your stuff that you left here, I have it in boxes in the spare room. I can bring it all down and send you on your way within five minutes.”

There was a lot he wanted to say in response to that, but instead he found himself saying, “You probably shouldn’t be lifting too much or going up and down the stairs a lot in your condition.”

Her face darkened as she glared at him. “Don’t pretend you give a shit now.”

Colson sighed and shook his head. “You’re right, I’m sorry. Can I come in? I just wanted to talk, to apologize.”

(Y/N) scoffed. “You leave me when I tell you I’m pregnant - with a baby that you wanted, might I add - and you leave for months, with no calls or texts or anything. And now you think you can come back and just...apologize for all of that?”

“I know, I fucked up - ”

“No, you don’t know,” she cut him off. “You really fucked up. You beyond fucked up, actually. You don’t understand how much it hurt me when you just walked out. You didn’t answer any of my calls or texts. I thought you were going to be happy when I told you I was pregnant. We talked about starting our own family for so long, and I thought you’d be overjoyed for this. But you just walked out and didn’t come back. You do not understand how hard that was for me to deal with, how hard it still is to deal with, while also trying to deal with this pregnancy all on my own!”

She was starting to cry. She mentally cursed her pregnancy hormones for making her so much more susceptible to tears lately. She didn’t want him to see her cry, especially not over him.

When he extended his arms to her, though, she gladly took the comforting hug. She sobbed into his chest, trying to take in his familiar smell and warmth without letting him back in too much. He couldn’t just come in and demand a second chance like this, but she also couldn’t lie and say she wasn’t relieved to see him on her doorstep.

Colson guided her into the house, closing the door behind them and bringing (Y/N) to her living room. They both sat down on her couch and (Y/N) wiped the tears from her eyes. She reached for a tissue from a box on one of her side tables and blew her nose as well.

“I had to start leaving tissue boxes in every room,” she sighed. “Stupid fucking hormones. I cry at everything now.”

“At least you’ve managed to prepare yourself for it,” Colson said.

She sighed and wiped at her face again. She felt so puffy and gross, and not just from the crying. The pregnancy had made her feel so many negative emotions. Even now, when she was supposed to be mad at Colson, she found herself self conscious about her round belly and how it made her look to him.

“Why did you leave?” she asked him. “I thought you wanted another baby.”

“I do,” he responded. “I should’ve been so goddamn excited when you told me you were pregnant. I think I would’ve felt that way if I wasn’t such an idiot instead and started feeling doubt about being a father again.”

(Y/N) furrowed her eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

“I mean...I panicked when you told me. I found myself thinking about if I was cut out to be a dad again. Like, what if I ended up missing so much of the baby’s life the same way I did with Casie? I wasn’t ready to be a dad when Emma was pregnant with Casie because I was so young, and I found myself back in that mindset when you told me you were pregnant. Just this sudden panic and self doubt.”

“But we talked about this. You said you wanted another baby.”

“I know. I don’t understand it either. It’s just my fucked up brain ruining everything again.”

(Y/N) placed her hand on Colson’s in a comforting gesture. “You’re not fucked up, and you are an amazing dad to Casie. I have no doubts that you’ll be even better with this baby, especially now since you’re older and have experience.”

Colson shook his head and let out a humorless laugh. “I can’t believe I was so stupid to let myself get worked up like that, though. I should’ve been so excited. We should’ve had a big ass fucking party to celebrate, and then you should’ve been moving into my house so we could start this family together. I shouldn’t have run out the door and left you like that.”

“Why didn’t you ever call or text me before now?”

“I felt embarrassed and stupid for my reaction. For the longest time, I just felt like I couldn’t face what I did, or face you. And then the more that time went on, the more I felt like coming back was a mistake. I figured you would kick me to the curb and tell me to never speak to you again. I thought...I thought that...if you even still had our baby, that you’d never let me see them anyways.”

(Y/N) found herself running her fingers along the back of his hand. What he was saying all made sense, and she felt like she believed him. She didn’t think he was malicious in leaving her. He didn’t do it because he was an asshole, he did it because he panicked suddenly and made a bonehead move, then his embarrassment got the better of him and made him overthink the situation even further. It didn’t completely heal the wound that his leaving had left inside of her, but it was enough to make her think she could possibly forgive him.

“If you had shown interest, I would’ve let you see her,” she said. “I would never keep you from your daughter if you wanted to be in her life.”

Tears were forming in Colson’s eyes as he looked up at (Y/N). “It’s a girl? You know that for sure?”

(Y/N) could feel herself welling up again, too. She nodded and got up to get the ultrasound she kept on the fridge. She passed it to Colson and sat down next to him.

“That’s her,” she said. “She was once the size of a peanut when I got my first sonogram, and now she’s a fully formed baby.”

“I can’t believe I’m gonna have another daughter,” Colson breathed.

“In a good way or a bad way?”

“Definitely a good way. I would’ve loved to have a son, but if there’s anything that being Casie’s dad has taught me, it’s that I love being a girl dad.” He placed the ultrasound on the coffee table and turned to face (Y/N). “I love you, too. More than anything, (Y/N). I was such a fucking idiot to ruin us the way I did, but I never stopped loving you in that time we had apart. I wanted nothing more than to call you or to show up on your doorstep like I did today, but I was terrified of what your reaction would be if I did.”

“I love you, too,” (Y/N) replied. It was the truth. She hadn’t stopped loving Colson, no matter how angry or upset he had made her. She loved him so much, and she felt like carrying his child had made her love him even more. “But you hurt me a lot. I meant what I said, you can’t just come in and say you’re sorry and suddenly everything goes back to normal.”

“I know, and I’ll do anything to win back your trust. Whatever you want, (Y/N), I’ll do it.”

“Right now, I want you to be here for the rest of my pregnancy, and I want you to be there when your daughter is born. We can take things from there.”

Colson nodded. “Will you come stay with me and Casie at least? I intended on asking you to move in with me anyways, and I know that’s a big ask right now, but I want you to be there and to start making it your home, because eventually it will be. Your home, and hers.” He put his hand on her bump, thinking about how his baby girl was growing in there.

(Y/N)’s eyes lit up as she nodded. “Give me a few minutes to pack a few things, and then we can head over. I want to see Casie anyways. I’ve missed her so much.”

~~~~~~

A few months later, Colson and (Y/N) were on the way to the hospital in the middle of the night. (Y/N) had woken up to pee and ended up having her water break. She woke Colson with her surprised shriek and he got everything together for the two of them to go to the hospital. Casie was at Emma’s, so Colson texted Emma to let her know that the baby was coming and to let Casie know that she would be a big sister by the time she woke up.

The labor pains weren’t as bad as (Y/N) expected, but they were still certainly the worst pain she had ever felt. Colson stayed by her side through the entire process, just like he promised. He let (Y/N) use his hand as a stress ball, crushing it with every contraction pain she felt. He stayed in the room after the doctor’s announced it was time to push and, even though he did feel a little lightheaded during the birthing process, he stayed to hear his baby girl cry for the first time.

The doctors let him cut the umbilical cord before they washed the baby girl and wrapped her in a soft, pastel pink blanket. The doctor passed Colson the baby and Colson sat next to (Y/N) so she could see her, too.

“She’s so beautiful,” (Y/N) breathed. “Besides the fact that she looks like a little prune.”

Colson chuckled. “Yeah, she definitely needs a day or two to look less wrinkly, but she’s gorgeous. You really did it, baby.”

(Y/N) mustered enough strength to reach out and lightly graze the baby’s cheek with her finger. “She was definitely worth all that pain and the exhaustion. Although, to be honest, I don’t think I can fight the sleep much longer.”

Colson leaned over to kiss her cheek. “Get some rest. When you’re feeling up to it, we’ll get Casie to come see her baby sister.”

(Y/N)’s eyes started to close, but Colson could see that she was trying to fight her fatigue. “We haven’t named her yet.”

“We can do that when you wake up. We have so much time to get everything figured out. You already did all of the hard stuff, let me help out with this side of things.”

She smiled, sheepishly, and forced her eyes open for another moment to look at Colson. “I love you.”

He smiled back at her. “I love you, too. More than you could ever know. Now, get some rest. We’ll both be here when you wake up.”

(Y/N) nodded and finally closed her eyes. It didn’t take her long to drift off to sleep. Colson stood so he could put the baby in the bed that the nurses had brought in to put next to (Y/N)’s bed. She had already stopped crying and had also been lulled to sleep in Colson’s arms. When he had her laid down, he stepped back to look at his two girls. He smiled and couldn’t help the tears that started to well up in his eyes. He couldn’t be any happier than he was in that moment.

[sourwolf-sterek32]

The Dirt (Your Version)

Summary: Meeting Nikki Sixx and Tommy Lee was a coincidence. Being friends was a choice. But falling in love with them both was beyond your control.

Or

A rewrite of The Dirt with all the highs and lows of Mötley Crüe from your perspective.

Pairings: Nikki Sixx x Reader, Tommy Lee x Reader, Nikki Sixx x Tommy Lee x Reader

Word Count: 4.1k

Trigger Warning- self-harm, mentions of past child abuse and cancer

Previous Chapter

Chapter 19- Truth comes out

"Who did this to you?" Nikki questioned, his fingers brushing over the dark bruise around your neck.

It had been a long time since you had heard that protectiveness in the bassist's voice. It had been a long time since you had seen him. And an even longer time since he had touched you like this.

"It doesn't matter." You sighed.

"Was it Vince?"

"What? No! He would never hurt me. Never." You insisted and Nikki nodded, his brows furrowing as he brushed his thumb over the bruise carefully.

"Tell me who and I'll fuck 'em up."

"It was my father and Vince already fucked him up."

Nikki's eyes widened in surprise knowing you hadn't been in contact with your father since you were a teenager. Nikki had questions. You could tell that he had many questions to ask but seemed to be holding himself back.

His sea green eyes were watching you worriedly. The last time you saw each other was that day at the studio. The day Vince had quit, and you walked away.

The guilt of that weighed heavily down on your shoulders. Mötley Crüe were finished. It didn't matter that they had a new singer, the band was over the moment Vince left and it was your fault.

"If you want me to leave. I'll leave." You whispered.

"I don't want you to leave, princess."

Just hearing that old nickname bought tears to your eyes and you lowered your head so he wouldn't see them fall. Nikki Sixx had seen you cry too many times to count over the years. You didn't want him to see you cry anymore.

"Come inside. Can I get you a drink?" Nikki offered. "I'm sober, so there's not many options."

You smiled, heart swelling with pride hearing that.

"Water is fine."

He disappeared in the kitchen, and you walked over to his couch and sat down hugging your knees to your chest. Nikki returned shortly after handing you a glass of cold water which you took with a small smile.

"It's not that I'm not happy to see you after all this time, because I am. But what's going on?" Nikki asked worriedly.

"Skylar died."

"Oh, fuck." He sighed heavily the shock of that information hitting him hard. "I'm so sorry."

You fiddled with the glass of water as Nikki walked around the couch and sat down beside you.

He asked what happened. You told him about the tumour and cancer that spread through the little girl's body. He asked about Vince, and you told the truth. Your brother was a mess but was trying to get himself better.

The two of you sat together in silence after that, Nikki trying to process everything while you sat there fiddling with the empty glass trying not to cry.

Grieving was hard.

Whether it was for your own baby or someone else's. Grief in general for a lack of a better word... sucked.

The suckiest part about it was how lonely grieving made you feel. And yeah, sure, your family had been mourning the loss of Skylar. But you've been mourning the loss of your own baby too because you had never really allowed yourself to grieve that unborn child until now.

And then you'd felt angry at yourself for it because that was in the past and Skylar had just died. Your little niece had just died, but you weren't only thinking about her. And that made you feel guilty. And then that guilt turned into anger. And you were angry at yourself for being angry because dear God, it wasn't like they had died on purpose, but it happened, and you couldn't save either of them.

So, you were angry.

You were angry at the world because it kept spinning after those horrible deaths. And you were angry that you were still living when Skylar had her whole life ahead of her and your own baby never got to draw its first breath.

But you know what? You'd take the anger, the sadness and the guilt because the only reason all of that existed within you now was because love existed first. Because it still existed in you now. And you knew that if you had loved Skylar less or never found out about your pregnancy, things would be easier, but you didn't want to live in that world.

So, yeah, you had a lifetime of those sticky grief feelings ahead, but you welcomed them with open arms because you had four years of love with Skylar and a couple months of knowing about your baby and that will always, always be worth it.

"Shit, princess."

Your head snapped in Nikki's direction to find his sea green eyes swimming with tears, and you very quickly realised that you had just said all of that out loud.

"Can I hold you?" He asked, wiping his teary eyes.

"Please."

Nikki shifted closer on the couch before wrapping his arm around your shoulders, pulling you gently into his side and kissing the top of your head. You buried your face against his chest and squeezed your eyes shut not wanting this moment to end because you had missed this. You had missed him so fucking much.

Nikki eventually let go of you, saying something about needing to piss before he disappeared leaving you on the couch. You were pretty sure that the bassist just needed a moment alone to compose himself because he hadn't allowed himself to mourn or grieve over your unborn baby until now either.

You reached up and rubbed your thumb over the scars and cuts on your wrist thinking about your brother. Thinking about Skylar. Thinking about Razzle. Thinking about your unborn baby. Thinking about everything.

You were so lost in thought you didn't hear Nikki approaching until he sat back down beside you causing you to nearly jump out of your skin at his sudden presence. His shoulder was touching yours and you quickly shifted your bracelets to cover the cuts.

You leant your head against his shoulder, the two of you remaining quiet for quite some time, but you didn't need to fill the silence. That was the nice thing about Nikki, he could appreciate silence when others wouldn't. Not needing to speak just for the sake of talking.

He kissed the side of your head and squeezed your hand for comfort, knowing how everything was taking its toll on you.

But he didn't know everything. He didn't know about those dark thoughts that still haunted you. He didn't know about the cuts hidden beneath your sleeve.

"Let me see your neck." Nikki suddenly said, speaking up for the first time in a while.

He hooked his index finger under your chin tilting your head up as you lifted it off his shoulder. You hadn't had a chance to look in the mirror and see the damage yet, but by the frown forming on Nikki's face, you knew it wasn't great.

"Does it hurt?"

You shook your head and gently touched the angry purple and blue finger shaped bruises with a small wince, "I'm fine. It only hurts when I touch it."

Nikki didn't seem happy with that answer. His frown only deepening as he inspected the marks carefully.

He shouldn't care about you though. Nikki should be angry at you for what happened in the studio. He should be furious. He shouldn't be worrying or caring about you. You didn't deserve it. You didn't deserve him.

"You should hate me." You whispered.

Nikki's eyes met yours, "what? Why?"

"I'm the reason for Mötley Crüe's downfall. It's all my fault."

"It's not."

"It is!" You answered a little louder than you meant but you couldn't help it. "I mean, fuck, you warned us at the start, Sixx. You said hooking up with me would jeopardize the band and now look what happened."

"That's not on you."

"It is."

"It's not. That's on all of us." Nikki insisted and you knew there was no point trying to argue with him on this.

You sighed, "I should go. I-I don't know why I came here. You have your own life... I'm sorry."

You stood up from the couch but before you could walk back towards the door, Nikki suddenly reached out and grabbed your hand stopping you.

"Don't go." He said, his voice nearly pleading as he looked up at you with gentle sea green eyes. "It's getting late. Just stay here tonight. You can take the spare bedroom. Please. Just don't go. Not like last time."

You hesitated for a moment as you glanced over at his front door before looking back at him and nodding in agreement. Nikki's shoulders relaxed instantly, and he gave your hand a gentle squeeze before he showed you to the guest bedroom.

Given Nikki Sixx's track record with girls, you were expecting him to try make a move or convince you to share his own bed, but to your surprise he was a complete gentleman. He had matured a lot since the last time you saw him. So much had happened since then, yet for some unknown reason, Nikki still cared about you.

You ended up sleeping on the couch that night because the mattress in the spare room had a very distinct scent of urine on it. Underneath the black sheets were multiple yellow stains and although they appeared to be old, the smell was definitely there, so you retreated back to the couch.

It wasn't so bad. You had slept in worse places especially while on tour with the guys. So, a blanket on a leather couch was actually pretty good in comparison.

You laid there staring up at the antique looking ceiling fan above you in the dim light unable to fall asleep. Your mind wouldn't shut off. You kept thinking about Skylar which then turned into thinking about Vince and what your father had said.

Your entire life had been a lie.

Vince wasn't your brother, and your father wasn't even your real father. And your mother... she killed herself after giving birth to you. Did she not want you that badly? Did she really think that leaving you with that abusive piece of shit would be better than whatever she could provide? Was a bullet to the head the only choice she had?

Your mind was a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions as you laid there squeezing your wrist feeling the calming sting of the cuts.

You must have fallen asleep sometime though because the next thing you knew, your eyes were snapping open, and you sat up gasping for air.

A gunshot echoed in your mind. Your mothers blurry figure falling to the ground in a pool of her blood. Your fathers angry voice screamed in the background somewhere. You could still feel his hands around your neck choking you.

"Y/N, hey. Just breathe. You're okay, just breathe." Someone's voice suddenly said, but through the haze in your head you couldn't figure out who the voice belonged to let alone trying to focus on breathing.

You couldn't breathe. It was like your father was still choking you. All the air had gotten sucked out of your lungs and there wasn't anything you could do about it. You could feel your chest tightening as you buried your face into trembling hands trying to calm yourself down, but it wasn't working.

A small voice in the back of your head was telling you that you were having a panic attack, but that little piece of information did nothing to help.

"Hey, hey, hey. Look at me. Y/N, look at me."

Somehow you forced yourself to lift your head and your eyes locked with familiar sea green ones. Nikki was looking at you in worry, but you just shook your head unable to shut your brain off as the lingering nightmare flashed through your mind on repeat.

"It's okay. Deep breaths. Y/N, princess, just breathe. Copy me, okay?" Nikki instructed, kneeling down in front of you as he took in an exaggerated deep breath, and you mimicked him before he released the breath slowly and you did the same as he repeated the action.

It took a while, but eventually you managed to get your breathing under control. Your heart was beating out of your chest, your body shaking, but you were breathing. Small victories.

Nikki was kneeling beside the couch watching you worriedly and you only just realised that he was shirtless. Has he been shirtless this whole time? How the fuck did you miss that little detail? Or big detail because Nikki had definitely been working out since the last time you saw him. His chest and arms were more muscular than you had ever seen them.

You rubbed your face with trembling hands trying not to think about his attractive body before you slowly sat up on the couch with a heavy sigh.

"Shit, I'm sorry." You whispered, realising that he had just witnessed you totally freak out.

"You don't ever have to apologise to me."

"Did I wake you?"

"No. I was already awake."

It was a clear lie to make you feel better, but you appreciated it. Nikki didn't move from beside you though. His hand was hovering over your arm like he wasn't sure if he should touch you right now or not.

"Are you okay?"

Nope. Not even remotely okay, but were you going to admit that? Absolutely not.

"Yeah."

Nikki didn't say anything after that and you were pretty sure he saw straight through your lie, but he didn't call you out on it. He was good like that. He understood not wanting to talk after nightmares, God knows he was riddled with his own demons in his sleep too.

"Do you want to be alone?" He asked eventually, breaking the silence.

You shook your head because the thought of being alone with your thoughts sounded like hell.

Nikki simply nodded before he stood up and sat down on the couch beside you leaving a respectable gap between you to give you some space.

You traced your fingers over the bruise on your neck thinking back to what your father had said.

"Is it hurting?" Nikki asked worriedly watching you touch the bruise gingerly.

You shook your head, "no. I'm just thinking about something he said before he, uh, strangled me."

"What did he say?"

"That he's not my real father. Said my mother dumped me on his doorstep as a baby and then killed herself."

"Jesus." Nikki swore softly under his breath not knowing what else to say to that.

You remained quiet for a moment biting your lip fighting back tears you could feel coming. You were so God damn sick of crying.

"It means Vince and I aren't even related." You whispered.

Nikki must have heard the crack in your voice because he turned on the couch to face you properly. The only good thing about your childhood was having Vince as your big brother. But it turned out that he wasn't even your brother at all.

"There's more to family than blood, Y/N." Nikki said gently, hesitantly resting his hand on your shoulder. "I know that better than anyone."

You sighed with a small nod wiping the tears from your eyes before they could fall, and Nikki squeezed your shoulder comfortingly.

Vince had said that it didn't matter. He said that you were still his sister no matter what, but it still felt wrong knowing your entire childhood and sibling bond had been bought up on a lie.

"You and Vince, you're family. Nothing is going to change that."

You glanced over at Nikki and smiled softly needing to hear that more than anything, "thanks, Sixx."

Neither of you spoke for a while after that. Nikki flicked on the television giving you a much-needed distraction from your thoughts. He switched the channel to MTV and lowered the volume down while he leant back against the couch and kicked his feet up on the coffee table.

"Why were you sleeping on the couch?"

"Spare bed smells like piss." You answered honestly glancing over at him.

Nikki sighed, "that would've been Slash. He's peed on that bed a few times. Sorry, I thought it was clean after the last time."

You screwed your face up in disgust which caused Nikki to smile before he turned his attention back to the television and the two of you fell into comfortable silence after that.

An hour or so ticked by. The clock on the wall across the room indicated that it was nearly six in the morning. Nikki had fallen asleep beside you a while ago. His head was tipped back against the back of the couch, his hair covering the side of his face as he snored softly.

You watched the bassist sleep for a few minutes before you quietly slipped away and made your way outside through the back door.

It was still dark outside and the view from his back porch was stunning. His house was on a hill at the far side of town and overlooked the entire city. The lights of Hollywood shone brightly in the distance, and you leant against the porch railing taking in the stunning view.

You rolled the sleeve up exposing the cuts along your inner arm that were now on full display as you glanced down at them in disgust. The skin was painted with a mixture of fresh and old cuts, some healed and scarred, others bright red and fresh.

You covered your wrist with your hand and squeezed welcoming the pain as the fresh cuts started to sting, but it wasn't enough.

The pocketknife in your jeans felt like it was burning against the fabric before you reached into the front pocket and pulled it out.

Your hands trembled as you flicked the blade out. Dry blood stained the stainless steel as you pressed the tip of the blade against an unmarked section of skin on your wrist.

Tears started to burn in the back of your eyes as you sliced through the skin like it was butter. Bright crimson blood instantly rose and trickled down onto the railing you were leaning against. You watched the droplets fall. The cut stinging as the outdoor air blew against it and you closed your eyes, trying to calm yourself.

The pain grounded you.

It was fucked up, you knew this was fucked up, but you couldn't stop. It was the only way you knew how to cope with everything.

The sound of the backdoor opening startled you out of your thoughts. You hastily tucked the knife back into your pocket and pulled your sleeve down trying to hide the blood and cuts.

Nikki hovered in the doorway, but you didn't dare look over at him because you had a sinking feeling that he had seen everything.

"Y/N-"

"I just need some fresh air. Go back inside." You said, barely even recognising your own voice.

"And leave you out here to cut yourself?" He questioned bluntly.

Yeah, you thought.

But you didn't dare say that out loud though. And Nikki didn't leave.

Suddenly, he appeared beside you and his hand grasped your shoulder gently. You tilted your head up at him, but he didn't look at you, his wide eyes were glued to your arm that you were trying to hide, but clearly not very well.

You glanced back down and there was no mistaking the crimson stains soaking through the fabric of your sleeve.

Shit.

"How long?" He asked, his voice barely above a whisper. "How long have you been cutting yourself? Days? Weeks?"

"...more."

You didn't look at him as you spoke, not wanting to see the disappointment and pity on his face.

"Fucking hell." He whispered to himself.

Nikki let go, you could no longer feel his touch on your shoulder, and you fought the urge to reach out and stop him from leaving. Instead, you looked back out at the city lights watching the sun that was now slowly starting to rise along the horizon.

You listened closely for footsteps, but never heard any. Why wasn't he leaving?

A few tense seconds of silence ticked by before Nikki let out a loud exhale and leant down against the porch railing beside you.

"Princess, look at me."

You expected to hear him sound mad, to sound angry or pissed off, but he didn't. He almost sounded sad.

"Please. Fuck- please, Y/N, look at me." He practically begged.

Reluctantly, you lowered your hands from your face and glanced over at him through teary eyes and had to do a double take when you saw his own eyes glistening with unshed tears.

Seeing Nikki on the verge of crying was all it took before the flood gates opened. A violent sob escaped your lips as you cried, Nikki's expression breaking.

"I-I'm sorry. Please... please don't hate me."

Nikki's arm was instantly wrapping around your back, resting across your waist and pulling you into his side which just made you cry even more as you leant into him.

"No, no, sweetheart. I don't hate you. I could never hate you." He insisted, holding you tightly.

"I'm sorry. I-I... I'm so sorry." You whimpered, burying your face against his chest.

"it's okay. Shh, it's okay. It's okay."

He kissed the top of your head gently and just held you while you cried. You had been trying to hide your pain from Vince for so long, trying to be strong for him, but now, you allowed yourself to let your guard down and show your true feelings for the first time in what felt like years, knowing you were safe in Nikki's arms.

Eventually, Nikki lowered his arm, and you sniffed rubbing your face with trembling hands trying to calm yourself down.

He pulled out a red bandanna from his back pocket before he grabbed your arm and began to carefully pull up your sleeve. Nikki paused for a second when he got a look at your inner arm properly for the first time. A soft gasp escaped his lips, and you fought the urge to pull your arm away from him.

It was too late. He had already seen it. The damage had been done.

"Fuck, princess." He swore softly under his breath.

He pressed the bandanna against the still bleeding cut and neither of you said anything while he kept his hand pressed down on your wrist with the bandanna to slow the bleeding while you stared out at the view.

Nikki was staring down at your arm with a frown plastered on his face which was better. A frown was better than tears. You could deal with Nikki being mad at you. Anger you could handle.

"I-I didn't know... I never knew things were this bad." Nikki admitted, his voice thick with emotion. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."

"I was the one that walked away."

"I should have called."

"I'm not your responsibility, Sixx." You whispered, wiping the tears from your eyes with your free hand. "I'm sorry. You shouldn't have to deal with my shit. Not after what I did."

Nikki let out a deep exhale, "what happened that day in the studio wasn't your fault, Y/N."

"We both know that's a lie."

"What happened. Everything we did... I would do it all over again."

Your eyes widened in surprise and Nikki smiled softly.

"If I could go back in time, I'd do it all again."

"Nikki-"

"I love you, princess. I didn't get a chance to say it that day, but I do."

You shook your head, fresh tears spilling from your eyes because you didn't deserve his love. You didn't deserve any of this.

"You shouldn't." You whispered still shaking your head. "You should hate me for what happened. You should hate me for this." You pulled your arm free from his grasp, the bandanna sticking to your wrist as you held it up for him to see.

"This doesn't change how much I love you. Y/N, hey, hey. Princess, look at me."

When you didn't move, he lifted his hand pinching your chin with his thumb and index finger and raised your head gently until you were forced to look at him.

"I'm serious. This doesn't change anything. I love you, Y/N. The next time you feel like this, come to me. I want to help. Let me help you."

You simply nodded, not trusting your voice at the moment as a fresh wave of tears resurfaced at Nikki's kindness causing his expression to soften before he pulled you into a hug.

"I just want you to be okay." He whispered, placing a gentle kiss to your forehead. "I love you."

"I love you too." You answered, and you meant it.

You and Nikki had started out cautious of each other. You were his singer's little sister, and he was the mysterious bass player who seemed to hate you.

Somewhere between that first meeting at Rock Candys gig all those years ago and to this moment now, the two of you had broken down each other's walls and had fallen in love without realising it.

-

Next Chapter

MASTERLIST pinned to profile

If anyone wants to be tagged just let me know

A/N: Sorry this chapter took so long. 

I just had to work 10 days in a row with 4 of those days on call after hours too (I hated it) but I finally got a few days off and I am already editing the next chapter which will be posted in a couple of days. 

I hope you are all still enjoying this story. I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments ❤️ 

[bluefairyhere]

Afterwards || MGK scenario

¬Colson meets a fan backstage. Pairing->f!reader x colson baker Word count-> 2.0k cw. fluff, some deep convo, fan service, mentions of suicide, swearing.

The noise was unreal. You still couldn't belive you finally made it to kells' concert. It had been an odissey to get enough money to afford the plane and concert tickets, at some points you even wondered if it was worth it. However being here made you have no doubt--It was absolutely worth it.

"Thank you beautiful people for coming today," he practically yelled into the mic, his bright pink hair dripping drops of sweat."I'm afraid this will be the last song of the night."

The crowd sobbed loudly, but the sad atmosphere was quickly replaced with the festival of cords that was the beginning of WWIII. To you it felt like Colson was flying around, his instense energy being contagious to every single fan that was singing along the extravagant lyrics. Everyone was jumping and laughing like one big, jolly being.

Eventually the song was over, and everyone was ready to go back home, but Kells was thinking otherwise.

"Before y'all go back home, the crew and I have one more thing." you looked around just to see excited faces."We've decided to gift a V.I.P meet n' greet behind the scenes to three random people;"

He stepped aside and signaled to the big screens around him, which started showing pink explosions and sparkling silver and black dashes. Then, a series of numbers started to appear—it was ticket numbers.

Your heart was pounding fast, and you could feel the adrenaline pouring through your entire self. You knew it was beyond highly unlikely your number would appear on that screen, yet you couldn’t help but hope…

The first couple of numbers had already been announced, meaning there was only one left. One opportunity to meet Colson left. You knew it wasn’t gonna be you, but even being aware of it didn’t prepare you for the disappointment of realizing the third and final ticket number belonged to the person right next to you. The screen showed the number 118, while your number was 117.

You scowled silently. What a drag. At least i got to enjoy myself for a few hours was all you could say to yourself to make you feel better. You looked to your right, expecting to see the lady excited out of her mind, but she looked quite neutral. Thinking it was odd, you continued gathering your stuff to go back home.

“Excuse me.” You felt a slight pat on your shoulder along with the sound of a voice getting lost in the background noise. You turned around. “I can’t really attend the backstage thingie, I promised the sitter I’d be back home early. Would you like to go instead?”

To say you couldn’t believe your ears would be an understatement. “Sorry?” You said in shock. The lady looking back at you seemed to be in her late 30s, short brown hair and kind eyes. She giggled.

“I realize it’s weird, but I really can’t stay any longer. If you can’t accept it there’s no problem, I’ll just ask someone else.”

But before she finished the sentence you interrupted with frantic nodding. “I’ll take it! It was just so unexpected! Are you really sure?”

“I’m really sure I can’t afford a different sitter right now,” she smiled honestly. “So yea.”

She offered you her ticket and you took it, hesitant. And there it was, the winning ticket—or one of them anyway—in your hands. You felt on top of the world.

“You have no idea how much this means to me, thank you so much.” You said while smiling as well, and she just brushed it off.

“Never meet your idols is something I’ve always firmly believed anyways. Have a good time!” After saying that she quickly left.

It took you a while to get it together. The whole situation felt crazy to say the least. You just knew your friends were gonna be so jealous (in a nice way) and eager to hear the whole thing. They simply were not gonna believe this!

You made your way to the backstage entrance, where a bodyguard and some other staff members were to make sure everything went smoothly. The other two people in front of you, who you assumed were the other winners, seemed to be really excited as well.

One of the staff members explained that each of us would have approximately ten minutes with Colson, in the order the winners were announced. They also gave you some merch, which you naturally loved. You immediately put on a little rubber band around your wrist that came in the carefully organized package.

After some time, it was finally your turn. You were so excited the waiting felt like a blink. The bodyguard walked you through a hallway with a bunch of doors on either side, until finally you reached one that had a piece of paper sticked to it. “MACHINE GUN KELLY”

Your heart immediately skipped a bit, you couldn’t believe you were actually going to meet MGK. Machine Gun Kelly. Colson Freaking Baker. You inhaled some air hoping it would calm you down—of course it didn’t—and the bodyguard opened the door.

There he was. A smoky blunt on one hand and his phone on the other. He wasn’t really sweaty anymore, and his hair was a mess yet his face looked so calm. His see-through shirt revealed his contoured torso full of tattoos. You knew he was tall but seeing him in person for the very first time... he seemed taller than anyone could ever be. Just the arch of his nose and piercing eyes made you feel like oxygen wasn’t so necessary anymore-

“You don’t have to stand all the way there,” his raspy voice took you out of the trance in a heartbeat, which made you a little shy due to your awkward demeanor. “C’mere”

Once again hesitantly you walked a little closer to him, who was no longer leaning against the wall nor unaware of your presence. Colson was standing up—god he got even taller-- and looking at you in a curious manner. “What’s your name?”

You whispered the answer, unable to look into his eyes for longer periods of time than twenty seconds each. He giggled, amused.

“You’re not very talkative, are you?” Now it was your turn to giggle. For some reason his unpreoccupied remark eased you into the moment. “Sorry,” you sighed “college didn’t teach me anything on how to talk to someone like you.”

He walked closer to you and sat in a nearby chair. “Woah, someone like me? And here I thought we're getting along.”

You laughed out loud again and he smiled in return and inhaled the blunt resting between his fingers. Now you were starting to feel actually comfortable.

“I didn’t mean it like that!” You hugged yourself while walking a little closer as well. “I meant someone so famous and admirable. We’re just very different.”

He appeared to think about it for a second and then signaled to a chair close to his with his almost fully smoked blunt, indicating you should sit down.

“I don’t think we’re that different, you and I.” He stated firmly, looking right into your eyes. You could feel your ears burning a bit, but naturally decided to just ignore it.

“We are very, very different…” you began right after you sat on the chair but stopped mid-sentence because you weren’t sure about how to adress him, which he somehow seemed to notice.

“Call me whatever, I literally don’t care.” Usually that sentence would’ve sounded harsh due to its very nature, but coming out of his mouth it didn’t make you feel any of those things. He meant it, he didn’t seem to mind at all.

“Is Colson alright?” He nodded while inhaling the last puff out of his blunt. "ye's fine."

You could feel once again the air filling up with awkwardness, but you weren't gonna let it. It's not every day you get to have a one-on-one conversation with THE Machine Gun Kelly.

"Tell me something about you."You spat before you could think twice about it. He frowned, unsure of what you meant."Tell me something you'd like me to know about you. Something I shouldn't know, or something you've never said to anyone. Tell me something about you." You stared right into his cerulean gaze."Anything."

He laughed outloud, strong peals of laughter filling the room. You wondered how come this was better than all the songs he performed at the concert--the sound of his laugh."What's so funny?"

"You were so shy like a second ago and now you're asking shit like that." He pointed, still slightly smiling. "Why do you want to know?"

"Because I do." You quickly replied, simply. "It's not every day a girl gets to be face to face with the one and only MGK."

Colson's smile became a mere smirk. You could tell he was thinking what could he possibly tell you.

"I make music for myself" he spat suddenly ", not for the fans. For me. The fact that they---you like it is just a plus. It's what helps me sleep at nights."

When you asked him to give you something you certainly weren’t expecting something half as deep as that.

"I guess we never really think you celebrities have demons as bad as that... not for real, anyway. Thanks for sharing that with me, you obviously didn't have to."

"Well, there's not much of a point. Not like we'll be meeting again." As he said this, the realization came down to you. You were not meeting again. You felt your heart irrationally sink.

"Still I appreciate i-" his raspy voice interrupted you before she could finish the sentence.

"Your turn."

"Sorry?"

"Your turn. Tell me some spicy shit about you, something not many people know."

Your mind went blank. Something about you no one knows? You were a rather private person so there were a bunch of things people didn't know, but which to pick? He shared a deep one so it was only fair and right for you to do the same.

"I love when it rains at night." His square-ish smile welcomed the statement.

"Dude, how is that deep?" You breathed in as you took long blinking.

"I was going to kill myself. It was like midnight or something, I had the pills ready and I was lying on my bedroom floor. There's a big skylight on the ceiling, you know? I was about to take them when suddenly it started raining." He wasn't really smiling anymore."And that made me smile. I like night time, and I like it when it rains, so together it's like... I don't know. I love it. And I realized if i did it, i was not going to be able to see the nightsky while it's raining, hear the drops of rain against the buildings and the ground. Nor would I smile again.”

"Now that is deep." He walked towards a metalic table and poured two glasses of what seemed to be gin. He then walked toward you and offered you one."I guess we’re not so different after all… Cheers to that."

You took it while smiling, mumbling "cheers to that, indeed" as your glasses clinked.

"Why did you tell me that?" He asked after taking a few sips. You shrugged and took another sip, looking up into his blue irises and feeling yourself getting lost in them.

"You said so yourself, it's not like we'll ever meet again. Might as well do some trauma dumping." You both laughed at the joke---self-deprecating humor is something you could instantly say you had in common.

"I like you, y/n. We might actually have to meet again." Your heart skipped a bit as he said that. Had you heard right? You somehow managed to keep your cool.

"Why? You just said we were never meeting again." You sighed. "I hope it's not pitty because of what I just told you."

"It ain't. You just peaked my interest. No one'd managed to do that for a while." He stared right into your eyes as he said that. Made you shiver.

"So we meet and what?" You asked, your heart running inside your chest.

"And we have a drink, what the fuck else?"

"Isn't there some rule that forbids you from doing shit like that, anyway?"You asked, genuinely curious.

"Ain't rules meant to be broken?" He answered and smirked before walking to the table once again and refilling his glass. He looked at you and softly swung the bottle in your direction, silently offering, but you shook your nead no since you hadn't finished the previous serving. "So what do you say? Tomorrow midnight at your favorite club?"

[daydreamingatnight209]

I’m not sure on how I feel about this one, but I’m posting it anways 😅🤞

Feedback is welcome - Hate is not ✨💕

“My Best Friend, My Girlfriend, My Everything”

Colson Baker x Female Reader

Warnings - Slight angst, fluffy ending 💕

Prompts used: Credit goes to all original owners -

1. "How drunk are you?" "V...Very." "Drunk enough not to remember tonight? "Hmm." "Good. I love you. And I'm tired of being just your best friend."

2. "He will never know that I like him." "Why?" "Because I'm just one of the million stars, and he's the moon.

3. I can’t believe it took me all these years to realise how I truly feel about you.

4. "Wow those bloodstained clothes really bring out your eyes... Of course I'm being sarcastic! Get over here and let me stitch you up!"

—————————————————————————

Most would think that traveling with an international superstar who also happened to be your lifelong best friend, would mean hitting the jackpot in life. But realistically after a month stuck surrounded by testosterone in such close quarters with a bunch of men who often act like overgrown toddlers , you can’t help but begin to feel like a glorified babysitter. You suppose it doesn’t help that you also happen to be ridiculously in love with said best friend.

After one particular show, you found yourself back on the tour bus while the others went out to celebrate another successful show.

Just because you were Colson’s friend, didn’t mean that you didn’t have your part to play. You liked to feel useful so you took up a part time role, sharing managerial duties with Ashley. This time you found yourself working with Sam to provide visual content for the fans and ensure that Colson’s schedule was running smoothly.

When the quietness you’d been experiencing over the last couple of hours suddenly ends, You couldn’t help but internally roll your eyes. climbing out of your bunk you go to see what all the commotion was about.

You enter the main sitting space and your mouth swings open in shock. In front of you Colson’s face was caked in blood and his clothes were stained with the same substance Rook was laughing hysterically at him and Slim had a smirk on his face, which he attempts to cover when he sees the look on your face.

“What in the actual hell happened here?!” You exclaim.

“Y/N helloooooo”

Colson rushes over to try and embrace you but you hold him at arms length, not wanting to get covered in his blood.

“Look at this, how cool does this look!” He says giddily, jumping around like an overgrown puppy, trying to show the jagged cut that seems to run down his forehead.

“Oh yeah really cool, those bloodstained clothes really bring out your eyes.”

Colson looks at you with glassy eyes and a slightly confused expression on his face and a pout on this face.

“Are you being sarcastic?”

“Yes, of course I am being sarcastic! Get in there and let me stitch you up!” You shout out in frustration and worry. You leave him alone for one night and this happens!

Grabbing his hand you force yourself and his tall frame into the tiny bathroom cubicle, with the first aid kit under the sink.

Colson collapses down onto the toilet seat as you begin to clean his face.

He winces softly as you clean around the wound and begin to apply the temporary stitches.

“How did this even happen anyways?” You ask him as he fiddles with the loose threads on your jumper.

“Rook said I couldn’t do parkour over a car, so obviously I had to prove him wrong” he mumbles, the amounts of alcohol he had consumed during the night finally catching up with him.

You couldn’t help but sport a small smile on your face, because of course it was something just so stupid.

Once you were satisfied with your work, you pack away the first aid kit and attempt to pull him up but Colson just pulls you down easily onto his lap and wraps his long arms around your frame.

“You are that best person I know Y/N. I’m so lucky to have you as my friend”

How drunk are you?" You whisper as you lean against his chest.

“V...Very."

"Drunk enough not to remember tonight?” You asked curious.

Normally Colson’s memory no matter what he drinks is top tier.

"Hmm yeah, probably” he answers, resting his head on your shoulder.

At that response and the fact that you didn’t want him falling asleep in the tiniest toilet possible you stand up and grab is hand once more. He doesn’t protest when you lead him to the back of the bus to where his bedroom is.

He throws his weight into the bed and watch him crawl under the covers.

“Night Kells” you whisper and go to exit the room to head back to your own bunk.

Before you can make it through the sliding door, your best friend speaks up, his voice raspy and slightly needy.

“Stay with me?”

You hesitate at first, not really knowing If you could handle being that close to him for the entire night. Your heart was already beating twice as fast as it should, but you aren’t really great at denying Colson. You never was. So when a cracked, “please” leaves his mouth, you cave and climb under the covers with him.

It doesn’t take long for sleep to claim him but the same doesn’t happen for you. You’ve lost count of how many times you and Colson have shared a bed over the years but where he sees friendship, recently you’ve been struggling to stop the lines from blurring.

Colson wraps you up in his arms subconsciously, like he’s done so many times before, yet this time you find yourself frozen as you stare softy at his peaceful sleeping face.

“I love you Colson Baker. I love you and I'm tired of being just your best friend."

A tear escapes your eye, letting it fall, you wait for what feels forever for sleep to fall over you.

———————————————————

The next morning you are up and out of Colson’s room before he awakens and do your best to avoid him and any awkward conversations that the day might entail. You weren’t exactly to ready to find out if he remembered his night.

No one really picks up on your behaviour and you think you made it through the day perfectly, before Ashley corners you backstage at soundcheck.

“You like him don’t you? In fact it’s more than that … you are in love with him”

Knowing that you can’t hide the truth from your friend, you look her in the eye and give her a sad smile.

“He can never know that I like him."

"Why?" Ash questions you.

"Because I'm just one of million stars, and he's the moon, he deserves so much better that me”

You slightly cruse the tears that begin falling once more and do your best to wipe them without ruining your make up.

Ash gives you a soft smile and shakes her head.

“I’ve seen the say that boy looks at you. You may think he’s the moon but he looks at you like you’re the one holding his entire world. Last night should have been enough evidence! It was you he wanted to patch him up, it was you he wanted attention from and it you he wanted to hold. It’s always you. It’s not about what you can give him or what he can give you, it’s simply about the love that you share and the happiness you provide each other. He doesn’t want to be Mr international superstar with you. He just wants to be Colson, your Colson.”

After her little speech, Ashley leaves you alone as you try and process her words. But you weren’t alone for long as a voice behind you startles you.

“She’s right you know.”

You gasp and turn to fave the voice you knew all too well.

“Colson! What the hell?!”

“She’s right” he repeats.

“Right about what exactly?”

“You might think I’m the moon, but you are my whole world. You are more than just a star, so, so much more.”

“Colson…” you close your eyes, unsure on if you want to have this conversation, but realistically you knew there was no escape.

Colson stalks forward, invading your personal space and holds your chin in his fingers so that you are holding direct eye contact with each other.

“I heard you last night… your confession. I wasn’t really asleep and frankly I’m surprised I remembered this morning. In all honesty i was going to pretend until you felt ready to have the conversation but after hearing what you said to Ashley, well I couldn’t pretend anymore. I can’t believe it took me all these years to realise how I truly feel about you. I can’t believe it took stupid dare inflicted injury and a single moment in a tour bus bathroom for everything to fall into place”

With shaky hands, your fingers touched the small wound on his head and caressed it lightly.

Not trusting your voice, you whisper out a quick response, “I’m so happy it did”.

Colson takes that as cue to plant a kiss on you, a moment you felt as if you could live in forever, before he pulls away to look at you.

“I’ll love, protect and cherish you, forever. My best friend, my girlfriend, my everything.”