#comfortable around. i think it probably comes first and easier with felix given his personality and jasper just feels really drawn towards

[elgaravel]

okay jasper brainrot again

[oliviayamaoka]

The Distraction Continuation (Ghostface / Jed Olsen / Danny Johnson x Reader)

As requested, this is a continuation of the Distraction fic I made. Check out the first fic if you haven’t already. Enjoy! :)

You sighed deeply as you crossed your arms, shutting your eyes in slight annoyance at what was to come. Another trial. You hadn’t been in one for a while but your break was rather short-lived. There were three others that stood by your side. Ace Visconti, David King, and Yui Kimura. You respected them and actually enjoyed their company. Ace was funny, David taught you a couple of things, and Yui was always nice to you, encouraging you.

“Where do you think we’ll go this time?” Yui asked you, nudging your elbow with her own. You instantly lit up. Human interaction was comforting.

“Haven’t been to Hawkins or Glenvale in a bit.” Y/N replied with a slight shrug.

“My bet is the asylum.” Ace interrupted, pointing finger guns with that stupid smirk of his. Yui rolled her eyes, she didn’t seem to like Ace very much. Not since he flirted with her one time, even if it was jokingly.

“We might actually be there if Ace himself says so.” David said as the familiar gust of air surrounded the four of you.

You shut your eyes tightly, getting chills from the cold fog and air. The smell of fire and spring overcame you. Y/N opened their eyes, realizing that Ace’s bet was right. As always. A small laugh escaped your lips, a feeling of enjoyment before all hell could break loose again. 

Your gaze averted to the familiar structure of the Crotus Prenn Asylum. A sound played in your head, the screech of the Nurse. You were always curious about her but never got the chance to even talk to her unlike... no, it was one time. You weren’t gonna go around and try talk to killers like you did with him.

You put your palm to your forehead, cringing at the memory. Not in a bad way but maybe you could’ve done something differently. No, not really. Jed was a psychopath, a murderer. He was charming in a fucked up sort of way. You sighed as you walked towards a generator behind the grey brick walls.

There wasn’t any indication that it was the Pig or Freddy, thankfully. You began to work on the generator. Your thoughts turned to the fear of being hooked, stabbed, and hurt. You shuddered at the thought of it, the feeling of the hook would probably never leave you. Death was forever here, unfortunately. Elodie and Felix’s conversation had given you hope, maybe there was a way out of here.

“Shit.” You mumble as you shielded your eyes from the small explosion. 

Y/N huffed. You felt slightly disappointed in yourself and began again. Your head perked up as you heard stomping. It wasn’t loud enough to be the Oni or Trapper.

You kept a head on the generator as you noticed a dark figure stomping towards you. You needed a moment to process the situation. It was Ghostface? Oh shit, it was him, you thought. Flashbacks of your last encounter played in your head, he was definitely pissed off and you couldn’t blame it at this point.

“Don’t fucking try it.” He muttered in reference to you breaking into a sprint.

You felt panic wash over you as you quickly observed your surroundings. There weren’t any nearby pallets or vaults, it was a random open area near a hill with a chest and hook. Perfect, just perfect. Ghostface was quicker than usual, he grabbed you by the waist aggressively to tackle you down.

Ghostface held a knife to the back of your head once you hit the ground. You grunted as he put down all his weight onto you and assured that you wouldn’t be able to escape. The ground felt so uncomfortable, especially against your face. There was a few moments of you struggling beneath him to escape but it became no use. You stopped struggling after he pressed the blade against your skin.

“Didn’t bring a toolbox this time, Y/N?” He asked mockingly, pressing his gloved finger over the small slit. You winced at the stinging sensation but it was nothing you couldn’t handle.

“You know how to hold a grudge, Jed.” You replied. You were utterly terrified yet you always felt the need to reply to his stupid remarks.

“Indeed I do.” He replied, grabbing you and making you stand up. He held the knife to your back and pressed it slightly.

Ghostface was actually angry. He didn’t seem to mind actually hurting you or pressing the knife into your skin. You gasped at the painful sensation as he looked around, he saw the killer shack. He held a tight grip on your shoulder as he forced you to walk that way.

You instantly knew where he wanted to go. You just hoped the basement wasn’t there. Of course, you had known that this day would eventually come. But, why now? It was such awful timing, especially with the blue mood you had. Once the two of you reached the shack, he shoved you onto the ground aggressively.

“You’re pathetic... talking and talking last time we met. Now, you’re just a shitty excuse for a survivor.” He said to you. You scoffed.

“If it helps, Jed, I’m sorry.” Y/N replied. Your hand reached to the back of your neck where he had cut you. There wasn’t much blood but it still hurt. You stared at your bloodied fingertips as the man got more infuriated.

“You don’t get to call me that. And why the fuck are you apologizing?” He questioned you. His tone was venomous, this terrified you but him killing you was inevitable and well... you wanted to see him, anyways.

“If you didn’t care, you’d have hooked me now. I must’ve really hurt your feelings, huh?” You said, half-jokingly but you were also genuine.

“I don’t care.” He replied to you almost instantly. You knew that was a lie.

“Then why won’t you hook me? You could’ve slashed my back open but instead you pinned me to the ground... weirdo.” You mumbled.

He fell silent for a second. Ghostface was a bit baffled by you. Why weren’t you begging for your life? The version he remembered of you was different, or maybe he killed too many survivors that would beg. Not only that but he planned this out thoroughly. He was practically counting on you to scream and beg for your life. Ghostface had even made an offering for this realm because he researched it extensively, as he did with most of his previous murders.

Despite what he may have thought, Y/N was absolutely terrified. However, there was a strange feeling of attraction to him. Not necessarily a crush just yet but there was also a rivalry in which you felt comfortable talking to him. He felt like a real person. Well, of course he was a real person but you had no trouble making shitty remarks to him.

“I want this to last because you were being a little bitch last time. I’ve been dying to slice you open and make you regret that stupid little stunt you pulled.” He said to you.

You sat up, bringing one knee to your chest casually. There was a feeling of bravery that washed over you like last time. Y/N sighed deeply and looked around the shack. It was a basic shake. No totem, no gen.

“Yeah, sure... then do it.” You said to him.

“You’re not making this any easier.” He replied, more annoyed with you.

“Nothing you do is gonna make me regret what I did. Even if you do kill me and make me suffer, I’m still gonna come back alive. I’ve been puked on, trapped, and even had some weird ass trap put onto my head.” You said, standing up and pointing your finger to his chest.

“But you, Danny, only have a knife. I know the Legion or whatever their names are can use that better than you. You’re just a weirdo with a mask.” Y/N finished.

Ghostface seemed rather stunned, yet offended. Mainly because he couldn’t doubt anything you said. It became known that the Legion studied the human anatomy extensively, more than Danny ever cared to do. His area of expertise was stalking and memorizing a person’s schedule. But still. his ego was always bigger than any logic. The cloaked man grabbed your wrist. He oddly didn’t grab it too tight, he lifted your arm over your head.

“And what does that make you? I’m still better than you to some degree. You’re trapped here because the Entity thinks you deserve it and I get to kill anybody I desire.” He said, the tip of his blade poking your stomach.

“I guess we’re both shitty people.” You shrugged as his grip somewhat loosened. He sighed deeply before throwing you towards the generator.

“I had hoped killing you would be satisfying.” He muttered, bitter that your reaction wasn’t what he imagined. You fixed your shirt slightly and leaned against the generator. A part of slowly began to accept the growing crush you developed on the strange murderer, you didn’t care at this point since you were damned to an eternity of trials. 

“It probably would’ve been if you weren’t so easy to talk to.” You said to him as he snapped his head towards you, confused for a moment. Easy to talk to? He scoffed in response.

“Easy? You’re the fucking weirdo here.” He said, with a bit of a defeated tone.

“You’re no ladykiller, Danny, but... I’m charmed. I guess it’s something killers like you do though.” You said to him.

“I don’t charm or seduce people. I watch them.” He corrected you.

“Explains a lot.” You said, looking at your nails. Ghostface was quick to give into his ego and crossed his arms in a very stubborn manner.

“Actually, I did. As Jed Olsen, anyways. People were so trusting of him and neglected to suspect the new guy in town. It made it easy to watch people and I had a lot of excuses to spend hours doing so.” He said to you.

“Jed sounds nice.” Y/N shrugged.

“Well, Jed isn’t real, babe. He’s a shitty facade of what people like in a person. Made it so much easier for myself.” Ghostface said.

“Okay then,.. what did you do? As a career?” You asked him.

“I was a journalist and wrote for the Roseville Gazette. They made me cover my own killings and I did a good job doing so. Nobody could really understand my work though, no matter how much I tried to when I was Jed.” He said, a proud tone in his voice as he spoke. You were weirded out and cautious but you wanted to try and understand him.

“So, is that why you do it? For art?” You asked him as his head perked.

“That’s exactly why! There’s something very beautiful about the redness unique to somebody pouring out of them, even mixing with others. Not only that but just toying around and seeing how loud one can scream. Each scream is so unique and different. And just like art, you can fix your mistakes if it isn’t done right.” He explained, he seemed more relaxed. 

“Fix? But wouldn’t they be dead?” You asked him, genuinely confused. 

“You have to be an expert craftsman to fix it. A scream is a delicacy, something I choose not to indulge myself in often. Y’know, don’t want anybody hearing what goes on. When I do want to hear the screaming, it’s usually when my target has piqued my interest or mildly annoyed me. It feels rewarding after going through all the effort to memorize their lifestyle.” He said.

“A weird but cool way of looking at it, I suppose.” Y/N said. 

You didn’t really care about morality at this point. Such things as the Entity exist, anyways, You weren’t sure what you did to deserve being stranded here. Even if you did have a weird romantic interest in him, so what? Why would the Entity care? Why would any Gods care? And even then, you seemed to have an interest in his hobby. Blood and killing didn’t faze you anymore.

“You think so?” He asked you. 

“Depends on the person, I guess. I’d only do it to bad people.” You said.

“But, you’d do what I do?” He asked you.

“Yeah...?” You responded. Danny seemed a bit giddy.

“How would you do it?” Ghostface asked, he seemed way too excited to hear about your non-existent methods of killing.

“I don’t know...” Y/N replied, feeling somewhat flustered by how close he was to you. It was a different type of feeling when he wasn’t trying to stab you. 

“If you want, I could show you some pictures and give you tips.” He said.

“And kill who? We’re stuck in this hellhole.” You reminded him.

“What about the other survivors? They can’t all be innocent.” Ghostface said to you. He had some appreciation for you since you listened. It was crazy how much this strange man can switch up.

“No, never. I’m not that crazy.” You said as the loud horn of the exit gates blared. You looked around, really surprised. He seemed just as surprised.

“That long?” He questioned. 

“Guess I’m just that good of a distraction.” You said to him as he silently sighed in frustration but didn’t seem to care. A part of him enjoyed your talk.

“Guess you’re gonna be my one kill.” He said, shifting towards you and pushing you against the wall. You were taken aback by his swift movement.

You squirmed against his body, somewhat sliding downwards so kicking was pretty much useless unless you wanted to completely fall. The two of you grunted quietly as he turned you around, shoving your face against the hard wall. It was uncomfortable but he wasn’t being as rough as he usually was. At this point, you were scared of his knife so you tried pulling his hands away from you in the awkward position. Ghostface tightly pinned one of your arms on your back, you winced as he tugged on your hair.

He leaned inwards, poking his head towards your neck and hair. Ghostface took a moment to memorize your scent and what your hair texture might have felt like. For some strange reason, he seemed to want to learn everything about you. It might have been a bad idea for you to have opened him up about his art.

“Get off of me.” You demanded in a stern voice.

“You’re scaring me, Y/N.” He replied sarcastically. 

You froze up when he slid his hand under your shirt, his fingertips trailing on your back. It wasn’t the motion itself but rather the feeling of his ungloved hand. You felt yourself go into a rather catatonic state, not in fear but you were quick to wonder why he would take his glove off. A thousand thoughts and scenarios played in your mind. His touch was soft but still managed to leave you with chills. 

Ghostface, on the other hand, seemed to be enjoying himself. He made notes of how soft your skin felt, his hand curiously wandered upwards. It wasn’t long before his hand wandered to your more sensitive areas. A gasp escaped your mouth as kept you pinned with his knees, his hands groping you a bit more roughly. Your face heated up when he squeezed you, you didn’t seem to struggle either. 

“Fuck...” You whispered.

“If only we had the time.” He mumbled, sticking three of his gloved fingers into your mouth. Your eyes rested as you stared upwards, allowing him to continue touching you. 

“I bet you’re getting all excited over this... if only I could capture the look on your face right now. How does it feel? Having somebody like me have their way?” He asked you. You felt aroused yet ashamed to oblige him.

“It feels good...” You managed to say, his fingers still in your mouth.

You felt the bulge in his crotch grow hard but this wasn’t the time or place. As much as he wanted to fuck you then and there, he needed to have some control over himself. He pulled his hands away and slid his glove back on. You let out a sigh of relief but also a whine. You knew just as much as he did that it just wasn’t the right time. You wiped the saliva from your lips and slowly stood up.

He pulled you backwards by your waist. You felt him rub his knife near your crotch, gliding it teasingly. His other hand wrapped around your neck. You heard him chuckle rather darkly. At this point, you seemed more hot and bothered than he was. Ghostface squeezed your neck a little harder, wanting to get one last sound of of you before he let you go. He didn’t care whether or not the Entity would be displeased or not.

“Guess you’ll have to be a whore some other time.” He said, cutting you on the arm slightly. You pulled your arm away quickly.

“Whatever.” You replied, flustered by his comment. Did that just happen?

“Better go before the Entity kills you itself.” He said to you.

“Right, right... see you around, Danny.” You said before quickly walking away and then running towards the exit gates. 

His head tilted curiously. Ghostface wasn’t sure if he had feelings or not. He admired you for listening to him and asking some questions though. But, now that he knew you’d do things with him willingly, he had some ideas. A wide smile grew behind his mask as he began to fantasize about the photos he would eventually take. 

You would probably come to regret your actions, seeing as his obsession with you would grow. Danny needed to know everything about you and even felt a bit possessive now. It didn’t matter, there was many possibilities within the Fog. Pray that you’ll be ready for your next meeting.

NOTE: Currently writing a full fledged Danny fic with a different plot but have the sequel to the Distraction. Ty for reading!

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

IOTA Reviews: Sole Crusher

Well... It's finally here... the episode introducing the new bee hero. And what do you know? It looks like I was right about how the new character would be portrayed.

It's kind of funny how I made predictions exaggerating what could happen, and they were surprisingly accurate. Isn't that funny?

Let's just get into the seventh (chronologically the seventh and the seventh episode in the season to air after “Mr. Pigeon 72”) episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fourth season: Sole Crusher. Damn, I hate that a pun this clever was used for the title.

We get to the point pretty quickly with the first scene being Zoe arriving in Paris and getting a tour of the city. She asks to stop at the Dupain-Cheng bakery, where she meets Marinette through some brief Unfunny Marinette Slapstick. The two quickly strike up a conversation.

I mean, it's not like Zoe is the sister of the absolute worst human being in existence, right?

Marinette compliments Zoe's shoes, and she points out that she designed them herself, and wrote every good thing anyone has ever said to her on them. But because she only has one friend, there's only a standard “I <3 U” on the left shoe.

So Zoe leaves the bakery and heads to Le Grand Paris where she meets her mother, Audrey. Unlike how she talked with Marinette, Zoe pretends to be just as snobby as Audrey in order to fit in. She then meets up with Chloe, who criticizes her for having poor person things like a phone without any diamonds embedded in it. And then she sees Zoe's shoes.

Look, that meme was already dated when it was referenced in Black Panther three years ago. Please don't try to reference memes in 2021, Miraculous Ladybug.

Chloe offers some golden heels while saying that those kind of shoes are for winners to wear and crush the losers underneath. This is the only episode to mention this kind of ideology, and believe me, it gets worse when Chloe decides to teach Zoe how to be like her.

Get used to this. This episode is all about demolishing any semblance of likability in Chloe's character. Now that Astruc doesn't have to bother with writing Chloe with decency since she's not Queen Bee, watch as he turns her into an absolute caricature of her former self.

Yes, Chloe has ordered her father to give her a lot of frivolous things in the past, but she has been shown to care about him, like immediately rushing to hug him after she was safe in “Origins” and showing concern for when he was akumatized into Malediktator while apologizing for causing it. For the love of God, one of the first things she did when she allied with Hawkmoth at the end of Season 3 was to have him unto her parents' akumatization. I guess she only cared about her rich parents for their status and not because she actually loved them right?

Next up on the list of Chloe's positive qualities to ruin is her friendship with Sabrina.

🎶It's seven o'clock in the morning🎶 🎶I can't believe they made this scene🎶 🎶With the writing Astruc's enforcing🎶 🎶It's like he's trying to piss off me🎶

Yep, Chloe doesn't view Sabrina in a twisted view of friendship anymore. Now she's a slave. I'm not exaggerating by the way, he actually said that in a tweet.

THIS IS WHAT THOMAS ASTRUC ACTUALLY BELIEVES

Okay, so I guess all those times we saw Chloe playing superheroes with Sabrina in “Antibug” and “Miraculer” were just a slave driver playing with their property. Actually apologizing to Sabrina for getting her akumatized in those episodes? Protecting her from the Scarlet Akumas in “Ladybug”? She was just interested in keeping her slave around. I think Astruc may have slept through the slavery unit in his history class. Yes, Sabrina was mostly used as a joke to show how controlling Chloe could be, but there were still semblances of an actual friendship between the two.

Chloe arrives at school and introduces Zoe as her half-sister, despite being the same age and having the same mother. Because I guess we can add basic biology to the list of things the writers don't understand. Now that we're at school, Chloe's friendship with Adrien is next up on the chopping block.

Yep, despite being Adrien's only friend and making a big deal about valuing his friendship to the point where she threw a big party just to make sure he wouldn't leave her and risked cooperating with an Akuma to save him, now Chloe just sees Adrien as a rich meal ticket. Two of the earliest episodes to show Chloe had a more compassionate side to her, and they just undid them. Even as much as I hated the episode, “Felix” showed Chloe was willing to cooperate with Marinette and her friends just to find a way to cheer Adrien up on the anniversary of his mother's not-death.

For the love of God, Astruc, 1984 was supposed to warn people about what could happen if they rewrote the past, not encourage people to rewrite the past. He probably finished Animal Farm thinking Snowball really did work alongside the humans, didn't he?

Marinette comes up and Zoe pretends to hate her, leading Marinette to wonder why she did that. She texts Zoe (she gave her number to her earlier) and invites her to a concert on the Liberty, but Chloe finds out. Zoe thinks fast and pretends it's just so she can torment her more. Chloe then takes out a book listing all the ways she can torture Marinette. I wonder if this is a metaphor for the writing process behind most of the episodes last season.

Zoe decides to go outside for some fresh air, and Andre comforts her. Funny how Andre bends over backwards to give Chloe whatever she wants, yet he's willing to actually talk to Zoe like an actual parent. Andre tries to cheer Zoe up, but she talks about her past where she had to put on an act so she would be liked, but (bet you've never heard this before) she just wants to be accepted for who she truly is. The surge of emotions is enough for Shadowmoth to akumatize her into Sole Crusher.

In addition to having one of the most clever puns for an Akuma name, I actually like Sole Crusher's design. Not only is it a good excuse to reuse Chloe's character design, it makes sense thematically, as Chloe was trying to mold Zoe into a copy of herself. The gold and diamonds also make sense given Chloe's love for shiny things. Her powers tie into the bizarre belief Chloe has about stepping on the winners. Whenever Sole Crusher kicks or steps on someone, she absorbs them and gets progressively bigger, making it easier to do so. While it's not cracking my top ten anytime soon, it's still an interesting character design.

Sole Crusher heads to the hotel to get Chloe, and she manages to get away pretty quickly. Maybe in an alternate universe, she's a track star? For some reason, she runs to the Dupain-Cheng bakery and then... Oh my God... pushes Marinette's parents so they get absorbed by Sole Crusher, before trying to do the same with Marinette.

When has Chloe ever done something like that? Whenever she endangered someone during an Akuma attack, it was unintentional or a result of her naivety. She was only trapped in Pixelator's dimension because Adrien tried diving to save her, she only alerted Rogercop to Ladybug's presence because she eagerly called out for her, and during “Zombizou” she only tried to throw Sabrina towards the horde of kissing zombies once, and that was meant to highlight her growth. The only person to actually do stuff like this consistently is Lila, but I guess she got vaporized by Big Brother offscreen.

This episode is determined to make the audience hate Chloe by retconning everything about her character while portraying her as a complete monster. As bad as Chloe could get, she was never selfish enough to use anyone as a human shield. This kind of behavior honestly could be explained by saying Chloe was lashing out as a result of losing the Bee Miraculous permanently, but the events of the Season 3 finale aren't mentioned ONCE, not even in the next episode that introduces Queen Bee's replacement! How the hell can you set up the next Bee hero without explaining why the original needs to be replaced in the first place?! And trust me, I'm going to talk about Zoe replacing Chloe later.

Sole Crusher grabs Marinette in her hand, so the Horse Kwami, Kaalki, uses her power to teleport over to Adrien's house and inform him Ladybug needs help, meaning once again Adrien did nothing in this episode before becoming Cat Noir.

At the Liberty, Chloe offers more victims to Sole Crusher in the form of the band Kitty Section (consisting of Luka, Juleka, Rose, Ivan, and Mylene) and theatens the giant golden supervillain she can send her back to Paris, even though she's really not in a position to bargain right now. And she STILL continues to insult her. Do you hate Chloe yet? Come on, do you? The writers won't stop until you do.

After we see Sole Crusher's conflicted emotions, Marinette is set free by Cat Noir and transforms into Ladybug, immediately summoning her Lucky Charm, a shoehorn. They only learn Zoe's sneakers were where she were akumatized thanks to Chloe's ranting, so the episode unintentionally made Chloe save the day. Ladybug breaks into Le Grand Paris and breaks the sneakers where Zoe hid them, using the shoehorn to open a door. So Sole Crusher is de-evilized, Ladybug fixes the damage, and gives yet another charm to Zoe.

Afterwards, Zoe goes to the Liberty, apologizes for the act she put on, all while divulging to the audience her “tragic backstory”.

Of course, everyone welcomes her with open arms.

And right here is where the biggest problem I have with Zoe as a character. I normally hesitate to use this term given how often it gets thrown around when criticizing characters these days, but I really can't say anything else.

Zoe... is a Mary Sue.

For those who don't know, the term Mary Sue originated in a Star Trek fanfiction from 1973 satirizing several self-insert stories at the time. Most of these stories showed a beautiful young woman joining the crew of the Enterprise and immediately gaining the attention of the crew. Mary Sue parodied this character archetype by showing how much she was appreciated by Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock, the latter being driven to tears at her funeral despite his species being emotionless normally.

What does this have to do with Zoe? She has the exact same storyline as Mary Sue in the parody fanfiction. Her mere presence is enough to make Chloe act extremely out of character in an attempt to make her look better, and as soon as she apologizes while giving a frankly vague backstory, everyone just accepts her as their friend, and I mean everyone in the entire class. I'm sorry, but it just doesn't feel earned. Why was she bullied at her old school? What did her bullies have against her? What caused her to stop going along with her peers, and why did everyone turn against her? How the hell did the bullies who put cockroaches in another student's locker get no punishment while the victim was forced to transfer schools? It's an intentionally unclear backstory designed to make the audience feel sympathetic towards Zoe without actually doing anything else.

I want to ask anyone reading this who watched the episode a question: Outside of her backstory, what do we actually know about Zoe?

What is her personality like? She's nice? Socially awkward? We've never had a character like that in Miraculous Ladybug before! Sorry Marinette, Adrien, Juleka, Nathaniel, Mylene, and Marc, there's a new character with more personality than all of you combined!

What are her goals? She wants to be an actress? Great, but why? Even though there's no clear answer for why Marinette loves fashion, or why Alya loves journalism, or why Nino loves DJing, you can still see the passion in their lives when they do something related to their goals. Zoe only says she wants to be an actress, connecting it to her people pleaser backstory (and given how it ended, she must be a terrible actress), and in the next episode, she immediately gets the lead role in a student film.

When Mylene got the starring role in the movie in “Horrificator”, we at least got snippets of her acting skills in the same episode that established her desire to be an actress, which is also implied to be because she was inspired by her father in “The Mime”. She didn't just say she wanted to be an actress and got the leading role. She still had problems to overcome like her cowardice, which threw her own self-confidence into doubt. Here, Zoe just says she wants to be an actress, and is rewarded for no reason the very next episode.

Zoe basically exists only to be a foil to Chloe, and the writers had no idea what to do in terms of a personality, so they just dumped a bunch of extremely likable character traits onto her without thinking of how her character could come off. And like I said, she's a Mary Sue.

I'm not the only one who thinks this. I've seen a handful of posts on this very site calling Zoe a Mary Sue. In fact, I even asked another Tumblr user @anxresi​ to quote their take on Zoe being a Mary Sue, which I couldn't even top in terms of accuracy. They basically listed off five things that made Zoe a Mary Sue.

She has to have a ‘tragic backstory’ so all the other characters will fall in love with her. Usually within minutes, in the very first episode they’re introduced.

She has to have a supercute design so that the audience at home will fall in love with her. And if they don’t, they’re automatically dismissed as ‘haterz’ even if their objections are purely from a writing POV.

Her only flaw will be thinking too little of herself. “What, lil ol’ me as the Bee Miraculous holder? With my shyness, colorful shoes, chic beret and personalized pink strip in my hair? Gosh, who’d have thought it?”

The contrast to her half-sister will be a constant plot point, with Chloe always getting dumped on. “You see, kids? Bad things happen to bad people. But you see this super-sweet girl over here? She gets a free DAD. Instant FRIENDS. To star in her own MOVIE. The chance to be a SUPERHERO, even though she only arrived last week. Who cares if she has no depth, no personality and barely any reason for being in the show, apart from being a massive ‘Up Yours’ to all the Chloe fans out there?”

What about character development, Mr Generic Zag Guy? “Development? What’s that?! Zoe is already perfect as she is. The only ‘development’ she’ll receive is having her hair done in the first episode she’s introduced. Besides, That‘d’ word is banned here at Zag studios. Why do you think we abandoned Chloe’s stillborn arc so quickly? This is a KIDS show, why bother trying to create a complex character with more than one dimension?”

This is essentially who Zoe is. She's perfect, has no character flaws, has a cute design so the audience will love her already, and was designed only to replace Chloe as Queen Bee. That's all she is.

So the episode ends with Zoe feeling happy at all the new friends she made while we get one of the most blatant attempts of symbolism in the ending card I've ever seen.

See, look. While Marinette is happily talking with Zoe with the image of Ladybug next to them, Chloe is to the far left with an EVIL purple aura, showing how bad she is compared to how great Zoe is. Only a braindead moron would actually like Chloe over the super awesome and pretty Zoe!

I'll give my final thoughts on the episode in the next part where I analyze this plotline as a whole.

LINK TO “QUEEN BANANA” REVIEW

[onomonopetabread]

Declawing the Cat- Chapter 2

“ Can you believe that nerve of that jerk?”

Marinette was absolutely furious. Tikki watched her from the bed as she paced from wall to wall. It was really getting concerning; she’s been ranting for the past three hours. School ended about five hours ago, but Marinette’s little encounter with Felix never left her mind.

“What, did he think that a few thoughtless compliments would get me to trust him? Who does he think he is, the MaYOR?”

That last part was a particularly loud shriek, and if Tikki had eardrums, they would be completely shattered by now. It was time to stop this madness.

“Mari, I know that you’re upset, and trust me, I am too. But… don’t you think that you should calm down? You’ve been at this for a really long time.”

Marinette hardly heard her. “I really tried. I tried to just leave it alone. But nooo, he just had to go and rock the boat! Can’t the guy take a hint? I mean, if someone didn’t talk to ME after giving the third fakest apology given ever, I would know that they hated MY guts.”

“Why should we trust anything he has to say? He hasn’t exactly given us any reason to like him.”

“Yeah, how can you expect us to just become friends with us after what he did? He’s a liar!”

The group gathered around Felix. He’d just been introduced to the class by Adrien, and it didn’t seem as though they were very happy to see him. They were making so much noise that no one had noticed the lack of a certain blue-eyed class president. Unbeknownst to them, Marinette was crouched behind a pillar near the courtyard, watching and listening to the entire thing.

She had been uncharacteristically early to school and was chatting with Tikki in the locker room when she heard Adrien’s voice outside. Naturally, she'd begun to walk outside to greet him. The fact that she had decided to try to get over him out of respect for Kagami doesn’t make it illegal for her to talk to him; he is her friend.

When Marinette first stepped out of the room, her first thought was that there were somehow two Adriens. Then she realized that one Adrien looked like...Adrien, and the other looked like a sad old man somehow ended up in a teen’s body. In about 0.2 seconds, she was absolutely seething. What was he doing here? Why wasn’t he at his comfortable home in the ninth circle of hell?

“Guys, this is my cousin Felix. He’s going to be attending school with us for now on. I know you guys will take him in with open arms.”

Open arms? This clown? Marinette scoffed. She’d sooner swallow a cup of tacks than let that prick into her life. Her classmates however, aren’t as strong-minded as she was. It’d probably be better if she stayed silent and invisible for this and let them make up their own minds about this, just to see what they would do.

“Why should we trust anything he has to say? He hasn’t exactly given us any reason to like him.”

“Yeah, how can you expect us to just become friends with us after what he did? He’s a liar!”

Okay, so far so good. Maybe this time around, she wouldn’t be (almost) the only person that didn’t trust a liar. Oh, how great it will be to openly loathe for once! One by one, more and more voices were protesting letting the rat into their friend group. The entirety of the class was hanging Formally-Dressed Draco to dry, and Marinette was in ecstasy.

‘Yes,’ she thought. ‘Tear him to pieces!’

Just when things were really starting to escalate, the sound of someone clearing their throats cut through the noise.

“Hello, everyone. As Adrien just told you, my name is Felix Graham de Vanily. To answer your question, Mr. Le Chein, yes, I’m the cousin of Adrien’s that impersonated him and sent you a cruel response to your heartfelt videos. For that, I am deeply sorry. I have no excuse for wha-”

What. In. The. World. If Marinette was furious before, she was positively incandescent now. He really was another Lila! Not to mention the fact that he didn’t even have the decency to make the apology seem even slightly convincing. Anyone with an EQ of 3 could see that those puppy-eyes were rehearsed and don’t even get Mari STARTED on that pout. There was no way that her class would buy this, but by the looks on their faces…

“If you’re really sorry...”

…Of course. Of-freaking-course they would believe him. Marinette sighed and walked into the classroom. Once again, she was left to hold the class’ single brain cell, by herself this time since there was no chance in Adrien distrusting his own cousin. Now how was she going to go about this was the question. If he really is Lila 2.0, then her initial plan to outright hate him will boomerang her right in the eye. No, it’s better to just avoid him at all costs; you can’t hate what you never come into contact with.

“Are you really sure that’s going to work, Marinette?” Tikki asked once they were safe inside the room. “You can’t stay away from him forever, you know. He may be a nuthead, but he’s smart enough to notice when you aren’t fawning over him like the others.”

“I know Tikki, but I think I’ll cross that bridge when I get there. For now, I’m going to go above and beyond to make sure our paths never cross.”

“That’s a relief. I thought for a moment there that you were going to do the rational thing for once.”

“Really, Tikki? Sarcasm? That’s beneath you.”

“If you’re looking for a finger to point, blame Plagg. You pick it up after being with him for a few thousand years.”

Marinette stayed true to her word and made it her mission to never be in the same room as the Great Disturbance unless it was class time. Even then, she kept a compact with her so that she could see if he was coming up behind her. Whenever someone began to bring him up into a conversation, she would quickly but subtly change the subject.

After a few days of this, she seemed to really be getting the hang of it. Avoiding him was becoming second nature to Mari. It actually would have been way easier for her if the demon hadn’t kept trying to collect her soul. Like always, Tikki had been right. The little son-of-a caught on to her really quickly and didn’t hesitate to try to reach out to her. In fact, the other classmates would often tell her that he had been looking for her, and she’d had to act as though she didn’t have a clue what they were talking about. That part hadn’t been so easy.

“So, what are you going to make for the big competition, Mari? A dress maybe?” asked Alya.

“Actually, I was thinking about sewing up a pair of suits. I’m not sure what they’ll look like yet, but I really want to try something new this time.”

“Well, I know whatever you’ll make will blow their socks off, girl. Speaking of designers, Felix told me to ask you to meet him after school . He said he wants to talk to you.”

“Is that so?” Marinette asked, feigning surprise (see bane-of-existence, you’re not the only person who can act here).

“Yeah, he really seemed to have taken an interest in you. All he ever asks us is what you're up to. It’s almost an obsession. Do I sense a little romance here? Another blond-haired green-eyed love interest?”

“Not very likely, Alya. Anyways, I guess I’ll have to talk to him later. So, are you going to tell me about your new reporting piece or what?”

What? Don’t give me that face, it’s technically not a lie; Mari did end up talking to him later, didn’t she? Though, to be fair, she wasn’t planning on actually interacting with him until they both passed. No, not passing class. The other pass.

One thing that she had learned about the knock-off Five Hargreeves was that she had greatly overestimated him. For the love, the kid wasn’t fit to kiss Lila’s feet. At least her schemes were clever and thought-through; this amaetur just existed and everything was handed to him on a silver platter. The rest of the class has spoiled him into thinking that it would be easy to capture her attention with a tense grimace of a smile and two ounces of ‘charm’. Unfortunately for him, Marinette Dupain-Cheng wasn’t so easily bought.

So, that’s the way it went for a few weeks; a classic game of cat and mouse. He would try to catch her, and she would slip out of reach at the last minute. If she had to admit it, it was very fun, especially sneaking peeks at the frustrated faces the devil makes when he thinks no one is looking; the coward can’t be emotionally vulnerable for a second.

That’s why she felt so sure that he wouldn’t follow her to the park; the place was way too open for a stand-offish guy like him. She was very safe in the great outdoors with nothing but her sketchpad, a sharpened pencil, and a sleeping Tikki in her purse. She had been working on that design that she was talking about with Alya. Marinette really needed this design to be perfect. Perhaps a double-breasted suit would work? How many buttons would she have to buy? If she was any deeper into her work, she might not have noticed the distinct smell of leather and the tears of the innocents approaching her. She just barely retained her composure.

‘What is he doing here? Whatever, perhaps if I just stay completely still, he’ll go away.”

“Ah, Ms. Dupain-Cheng! How lovely it is to see you. We never seem to talk, do we? It is quite a shame really.”

‘It would also be a shame if you were to get punched where the sun doesn’t shine, Mr. Pied Piper’, Marinette thought. Alas, no matter how much she wanted to move her hand like so, she couldn’t let him win this fight. No, just silent-treatment it out and pray he either leaves or gets struck with a lightning bolt.

“I must say, that is a lovely suit you’re designing there. I love the use of gold thread on the pants. If I may make a few suggestions-”

Him? Give fashion advice? Marinette would rather NOT learn how to dress like an off-brand Crowly, thank you very much. Good grief, he really wasn’t going to stop trying, was he? Alright, no more Nice Marinette.

That’s when she finally snapped and, well, you know how that went. Had it been ANYbody else, she probably would feel guilty for talking to someone so blatantly, but it turns out that she left that situation with zero regrets. If she didn’t put a stop to this whole ordeal, she’ll probably have to carry around a tiny halberd with her for the rest of her life, and as much as she would like to use it, he really wasn’t worth the trouble. Ugh, he makes her absolutely Sick. He’s so slimy, terrible, arrogant, deceitful-

“MARINETTE JOSEPHINE DUPAIN-CHENG BE QUIET!!!!”

Marinette was so startled she tripped over her chaise and fell onto her bed.

“Geez, Tikki! Couldn’t give a girl a warning before you scream like that?”

“You’re one to talk, Ms. The Mayor. And for the record, I did give you a warning; I’ve been calling your name since for the past hour. Are you really going to get all worked up over this, Mari? You said it yourself, he’s just another Lila.”

“I know Tikki, and I’m sorry I’ve been rambling on for so long. It’s just- yeah, he’s a liar, a fake, and way too stoic to be real, but he’s different from Lila. I don't know what it is about him, but I can’t help but wholeheartedly loathe him. Just the thought of him makes a shiver run down my spine.”

“Loathing. Right. That’s it, totally. Is that why you haven’t said his name this entire time.”

“As a matter of fact, yes. I’m very happy you noticed, Tikki. I spent a lot of time thinking up all of those insult names.”

“I’m sure you did, Marinette,” Tikki sighed. “You really don’t like this kid, do you?”

“No, I definitely do not, and not a fiber of my being will ever so much as be happy in his presence for as long as I live.”

@ceres-zephyr here u go!

Chapter 3’s up!

https://qualityladybread.tumblr.com/post/632447827994411008/declawing-the-cat-chapter-3

[entityskillcount-archive]

Thoughts on everyone in the realms?

"Short Answer; I made a chart. Not a well drawn chart, mind you, but a chart. Sometimes you don't wanna put effort into drawing 50 something faces"

"Long answer, uh....well lemme go down the list"

Claudette: My Starflower~!! She's so sweet and kind and amazing in trials and every time I see her I swoon a little- I love her so much~ Dwight: He's cute- And he's a good leader, despite his nervous personality, he knows how to bring a group together. Final guy potential. Ash: ....Don't...Tell him I said this? But uh....Evil Dead was one of my biggest comfort series, the thing that got me through losing both my parents....the thing that helped me transition, pick my name, and fueled my FX hobby. And I'm still attached, even realizing he's a real person and all- But...it's weird to just, be upfront with something like that, so I'm just...burying it as best as I can. David: He's a little rough around the edges but he’s good to have in a trial, plus when you can get past the walls, he’s nice to talk to. Kate: Her music by the campfire is calming and she’s such a sweetheart. If we were in a better situation I’d love to learn Guitar from her, but, it’s hard when you’re a moment away from a trial at any given time. Amalthea (@askthewidowstars OC): She judged my entire vibe but jokes on her I’m the one who snagged a cutie for life- Meg: If I had a dollar for every time she left me for dead I would have enough money to paint the entire campfire in solid gold. The only time we’ve ever properly talked was about SAW traps and 90% of it was her admitting she could beat every single trap because she was ‘built different’  Jeff: He’s a sweetheart and really nice to be around. Sometimes when we’re by the campfire in our downtimes I’ll let him draw on my arm. it kinda makes me want a tattoo, honestly. If we ever get out of here, I might get one. Steve: Bros!! We kinda make up team ‘Altruistic Himbo’, Plus the ‘Babysitter/Brother’ Vibes mesh really well. I kinda wanna re-style his hair though, mostly because it looks fluffy, and nice to play with.  Quentin: Bros!! We’re gonna make matching T-Shirts about committing Arson on Freddy in particular. He’s fun to hang around in our downtime, and I hope there’s a chance he can get some actual rest, even in here. He deserves it. Adam: If Dwight wasn’t the leader I feel like he’d take over the Reigns. I feel like he’s the calm type that doesn’t handle energetic types well though. Which, y’know, makes things hard.  Nea: Anytime I see her she’s either sneaking around the map and watching everyone get killed, or doing something stupid to get herself killed. I’d get grey hair if We were actually friends.  Feng: Gamer bros- I got to find out we actually played a lotta the same stuff before we were taken by the Entity. We get a chance to nerd out in between trials- Laurie: Best Final Girl hands down. I kinda hope she can teach me Decisive Strike one day- I feel like its also just a little awkward since again, still a fan of Myers Nancy: She doesn’t agree that Demo’s a good boy, which makes sense, but we but heads over it. Also I’m pretty sure she wants me dead for touching the bones around the map one too many times. They’re just too tempting.... Jake: He’s pretty quiet, but he’s helpful in trials. I heard he’s been to a convention a few times, but I don’t think he’s actually into it as much as I thought...Which kinda sucks. I’d love more cosplay buddies y’know? Yui: Kinda makes me want a motorbike. We don’t talk but she seems really cool. A little too cool to me around if that makes sense.  Yun-Jin: She benefits off of throwing everyone else under the bus. And 90% of the time she will throw everyone under the bus. Even if she needs actual help to escape the trial.  Cheryl: Cheryylll!!  She’s really cool and honestly would add her to the ‘Can kill god if she was not nerfed’ Squad. Especially since y’know, she has- I bet if we got enough of the kids together we could just beat the Entity’s ass. I know she could.  Tapp: Always been a fan of Tapp before I was taken, although I feel like he’d wanna arrest me if we weren’t in the Entity’s Realm. I might be a little too excited for my own good about Kramer’s work. I don’t think he’d believe the fact its a movie either.  Ace: He’s kinda like the Uncle of the group around the campfire, but, coming into trials, He’s still for saving his own skin- You can also only stand dad jokes for so long. Especially in an eternity like this.  Leon: He’s cool!!! I got so excited first realizing He and Jill were here, and I wanna get a chance to talk to him about everything that went down, but Haven’t got the chance. He’s nice inside of Trials though, usually doesn’t leave anyone behind. Not a fan of getting blinded though.  Jill: She knows how to lead the trials well, and I look up to her a lot. She’s always been such a badass!!  Bill: If Bill gets his hands on a weapon the entire Realm would be fucked. Badass as hell and Kinda scary. Another one on the list of ‘Entity needed to Nerf’ Felix: You’d think a Childless Father and a Fatherless son would be able to bond a bit more, but, I think we each kinda get the same vibe of homesickness from one another. He’s kind though, and it’s neat to see his work whenever we’re by the campfire.  Elodie: She’s better at helping out than most of the others, but she’s still in a survival of the fittest mindset. I loved hearing about her studies from before she was taken though. I feel like if we had more time we could dig deeper into this whole world and what its about. But we don’t get that- Zarina: We just don’t really click as much, honestly. I’d love to get to know her better but I think she’s more into digging into the killers and what she can find out about this place. Which y’know, could be better done with a team. Sage (@askthewidowstars OC): HUSBAND!!! My husband. I love him to the Moon and back. He’s amazing and I miss him even when we’re five feet apart-  ...I need a hug now-  Amanda: Best girl hands down!! We vibed a lot in between Trials talking about her traps and old designs, she was impressed by my knowledge, and we hang out in Gideon sometimes!   Ghostface: He’s pretty cute- Also fun to be around, even if he’s kind of a dick when he’s actually at work, it’s better when you’re outside of a Trial. It’s also neat to see he’s not just two idiots in a halloween costume and his own person, as much as I love the Scream Series, too-  Leatherface: Bubba!!! Honestly I’d handle being chainsawed. Fuckin Love Bubba-  Huntress: I wanna learn how to throw hatchets but I know I never will. She’s kinda scary, but also I feel like if she could adopt some of the others in the Realms, she totally would.  Oni: The only times I’ve ever really seen him is just before my skull gets bashed in. All I really have associated to him is the splitting headache.  Twins: I’m gonna punt Victor into the sun. I haven’t been good around kids beforehand and this tiny gremlin motherfucker just makes it worse.  Pinhead: I was so excited to see him!! He’s one of the few that talks more often than not in a trial, and he’s always had this air of elegance about him which makes it so much cooler! I’d be tempted to grab the box to solve it, but, at the same time Dwight’s already been hunted. I just...want to see how it works, really. Maybe if I ask nicely? Nah, probably not.  Pyramid Head: He’s so fucking COOL!!! He’s always just been really fucking cool and I still get stars in my eyes. I wanna re-create his weapon one day.  Joey: Joey’s one of the chill killers to be around, probably my favorite amongst the legion. Also Cosplay gang?? Hello? Susie: She’s cute!! I like her vibes whenever there’s not violence involved. I wonder if she’d ever get into costume making, she has the artistic eye for it. I also wonder if she’d ever dye other people’s hair...I’d kinda want green tips one day- Frank: Still wanna throw a palette at him. He’s one of the more serious of the Legion, and usually the one you’d find with a Mori. Not as Serious as Julie but only because he has the cocky god complex to go with it.  Julie:  She’s definitely the most serious out of the Legion. There’s no real rest whenever we’re in a trial against her. Scary as hell and less of a bastard than the other three.  Hillbilly: I know he deserved a lot better than this, especially after hearing more about him. I...Haven’t gotten to see much than the end of his chainsaw though.  Blight: This dude’s singlehandedly bringing back my fear of needles and I thought I lost that with HRT- Also like, dude spits up orange fuckin everywhere.  Michael: My Mans!! I always get a little excited knowing we’re up against him. It’s habit- It’s kinda weird to see him easily affected by like, palettes or flashlights though.  Spirit: She seems like she could be nice when there’s some downtime. I’m also one of the few that can understand her well enough, which probably makes things easier. I found out she’s basically my age when I survived a trial by myself. I’d hope to hang out more sometime. Nemesis: God he’s so fucking tall. Kinda surprised it was Nemesis out of everyone that could’ve been brought, and also, kinda terrified? Still am kinda terrified. I’m surprised he hasn’t just torn up an entire map yet. His zombie minions are also annoying. Wraith: All this motherfucker does is roll up to pull me off Gens and Exist as a problem. I don’t see much of him outside of a Trial. Trapper: Motherfucker Incarnate. If the Entity lets us throw hands I’m fighting him first.  Freddy: ....Gross. I liked the Nightmare on Elm Street series a lot, but...Freddy as a person? Ew. Especially this iteration.  Demogorgon: Demopuppy!! He’s a good boy and he deserves to get treats. Even if the Treats are flesh....I wonder if he likes candy though. Trickster: Pretty!! He also Gives me DIO vibes because of the Jacket and the Knife throwing...Imagine if a killer could stop time...that’d be terrifying. Deathslinger: I wanna sit down and look at his gun more but I also feel like if I ask I’d just get shot on sight. Intimidating as hell but also cool. Mary: ....Still on the very complicated ‘Ex Girlfriend that murdered me’ State. It’s hard to avoid her though. Especially since she wants to get back together since we’re stuck here. Nurse: She does not help my fear of Hospitals, honestly. While she’s easy to go up against, it’s still eugh. Plague: I really, really hate her power. The Sickness and the Vomit is just- Eughhhhh- It just hits every bad sensory issue at once.  Clown: ...I get killers are Killers and aren’t supposed to be good people but also like....Disgusting. Please Remove from the Realm. He’s just- ...Ew.  Doctor: NOPE. NO. NEVER. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO.

[rreeaahh]

Noble Chantage | Fred Weasley (01)

CHAPTER 1 - “Everything is fine”

WORD COUNT - 4,257; wrote in first person perspective, because i thought it’ll be easier to connect with the character and it’ll make it more personal for you, guys.

SUMMARY - Nothing in a life of a Pureblood goes as it’s expected.

WARNINGS - none i can think of.

TAGLIST (message me if you want to be added) - @lucymfer @prongsyy @famdomhideout @anywherebuthere

“Mat’, I can’t find my earrings!” I shouted while walking in my room, to the door and then to the window, worrying like crazy about a small thing like a lost pair of earrings – they were a birthday gift from my parents when I became a Hogwarts student. Silver with green and shinny little stones, that pair of earrings was meant to show my parents’ pride to have another child sorted into the House of Salazar Slytherin, like the whole family.

Nispy, the house elf who had been looking after me since I was a little girl, was walking behind me and repeating: “Nispy didn’t lose them, Miss, Nispy was careful with them,” but I barely heard her because of my own thoughts.

I wouldn’t be so concerned about some lost jewelry, the box on my beauty-table being full of them, but I was in a rush – the ball my family was hosting was ready to begin and I had no time to lose, searching them. The door was open and my mother came in, already dressed and styled, an angry look on her face.

“What in the name of Koschei are you doing, Y/N?’ she asked in her deep Russian accent, which made her somehow more mad than I already did, ‘The guests will be here in any minute and you’re not ready.”

Ignoring the urge to roll my eyes at her, I preferred to have an apologetic face, nearly ashamed. “I really am sorry, mat’, I just can’t find the emerald earrings you and papa gave me when I got my letter, I know how much you liked those,” I told her in a whisper, my head down, looking at the tip of my black shoes.

I could hear her sigh, then footsteps which leaded to my jewelry box, starting to search for them – that made me scared; she always find whatever I lose and then she’s even angrier.

“Those ones?” she spoke and when my eyes went in her direction, she was holding them between her thumb and pointing finger, both of them decorated in golden rings. Anastasia Rosier always wore gold and never silver, like the rest of the family, because she was a proud woman from Russia, from a rich family and she always wanted to keep that in people’s eyes.

“Yes, mat’,” I smiled and approached her, observing how her eyes lighten up when I said the word she wanted me to call her. It was a little strange to call her by the Russian term of the word ‘mother’, while my father preferred the French version, but that applied only between us. “Thank you,” I said and she smiled, putting a strand of hair which was falling from my sophisticated bun behind my ear, and then helping me put the jewelry in my ears.

“You’re beautiful, darling,” she told me with honesty in her voice. I looked at myself in the mirror and I could only agree with her – the dark green dress, laced with black flowers on its hem, was hugging my chest and waist perfectly while the emerald jewelry was making my guise more precious. My mother was very proud every time she was looking at me – I was her greatest pride, as she always reminded me, being careful not to be heard by my elder brother, Felix.

“Come on, your father and brother are probably waiting for us downstairs already,” she told me, heading out of my room. “Oh,’ she said looking back, ‘and Nispy, I also want you to come down, you’re going to serve the guests appetizers.”

“Yes, Madam,” the elf responded, hurrying to follow her out of my room.

I glanced for the last time in my room, to the four walls full of book shelves and paintings made by me and my mother. The room gave me a feeling of comfort every time I was in there, but the rest of the house seemed always to be cold and strange, like it wasn’t the place where I lived since I was born.

Despite of my parents foreign roots, I always lived in England, in a house at the river bank, with a big garden and a lot of flowers – ironically, most of them being roses. I never felt isolated from the rest of the world because of this type of events – even before going to Hogwarts, I met a lot of kids who were like me at Merlin knows what ball or what wedding or whatsoever; I grew up being surrounded by purebloods and I was raised to respect them to a point: they are my equals, not my superiors; I actually could consider myself superior, given the wealthy situation of my family and the title of ‘The Noble and Most Ancient House of Rosier’.

The long hall had a floral wallpaper and dark floor, which made the room seem very old, as the whole house did, in fact. Merlin knows how many generations lived here before me, because despite of the Family Tapestry, I never counted all the names. I only knew that I had a lot of reasons to feel watched when I would walk around, because of all the portraits hanged on the walls. Actually, this little party was thrown to celebrate the new painting my family asked a famous painter to make and also the restoration of all the paintings in the entire house – so, many, many portraits.

I went down the left steps while my mother went on the right side, both of us reaching the middle, where my father and Felix were waiting for us. On the ground floor, where my parents wanted to have a little space for a dance ring, where a lot of people, all of them familiar faces I’d recognize as being Purebloods, their children being my housemates and some of them classmates, roommates or even friends – distant relatives, short said.

“Welcome, friends!” the voice of my father was heard, making the crowd stop chatting. “It’s a pleasure to see you all here, celebrating with us a big joy for our family,’ he smiled and my mother shared his feelings, ‘Tonight is the moment we all will see the last generation of Rosiers, all together!” he announced and I looked at him with big eyes, but I went all smiley fast enough for nobody to see. The look on my mother’s face was blank, emotionless, and I started to feel strange. “Let’s party properly!” my father continued, raising his left arm and encouraging the people to go back to whatever they were doing.

I gently grabbed Felix’s arm, the material of his suit being soft at touch and both of us starting to go down the marble stair, all the eyes in the entire room on the Rosier family. I putted on my happiest smile, because I was a star, after all. Everybody knew my name and considered me to have the life everybody wished for. I already knew all the women were admiring my dress and jewelry, the girls my age probably being jealous for the way I looked.

“I think aunt Tatiana will be happy to see you, Y/N,” my brother told me when we were at the base of the stairs, and I looked up at him, confused.

“She came here all the way from Russia?”

He nodded, making me scan the room, looking at the alcohol table to search her – after my cousin’s imprisoning, she found a little happiness in strong drinks. I couldn’t blame her.

“But before that, prepare to be nice – the Malfoys are coming our way,” he rolled his eyes, looking behind me.

“Felix, Y/N,” spoke my mother, beside her being my cousin Narcissa and her family, “Look who’s here with us!”

She absolutely loved Narcissa, as you also did – Cissy was by far my favorite cousin: she was kind and funny but also she gave me that ‘older sister’ feeling, which I absolutely appreciated. It’s true that it wasn’t hard to be the favorite cousin, considering the rest of them were dead, imprisoned or – worst – banished. What I didn’t like when it came to Narcissa, was the man she married – Lucius Malfoy always gave me a bad feeling, but I kept it to myself.

“Good evening, Narcissa,’ my brother greeted her, kissing the back of her hand like our father told him to do at this kind of events, ‘Lucius,” he said while shaking his hand, the older man having a bright smile on his lips. My brother also greeted Draco, who grew up taller than me, something that made me realized I haven’t see him the entire summer.

“Look at you, Y/N,’ Narcissa smiled while she dragged me into a tight hug, ‘you’re absolutely gorgeous! I love the dress and, oh, the earrings darling!”

“You’re beautiful too, Cissy,” I smiled to her but my smile lost its shine as soon as I felt her husband’s hand grabbing mine.

“Don’t be shy, Y/N,’ he told me, ‘you heard your father, tonight is about you,” he reminded me, kissing the back of my hand – something he never did before, no matter the circumstances; and it was something that scared me. If he kissed my hand it meant that he sees me as a woman, not a child anymore.

I tried to play it cool, to nod my head in agreement and look at my mother, who was already gone talking to the Goyle spouses. Felix had hard feelings for both Narcissa and Lucius, but he had no problem with Draco. Feeling my anxiety he touched my back and smiled politely.

“Sister, why don’t you show Draco the new piano I got you from Russia?”

Felix worked in Russia in the name of the Vulchanov family, managing the house my grandparents lived in. He always got me presents when he came back to England, to make up for the fact that he and my parents didn’t want me to visit him there.

“Of course, Felix,’ I also smiled up to him, thanking him that he got me rid of an embarrassing situation, ‘Follow me, Draco,” I asked and started to walk to the middle of the room, making my way in the crowd.

“What was that?” he asked, trying to keep up with me.

I looked at him only after I reached the wooden black piano, which had my name scratched on its surface. Draco Malfoy looked exactly like his father – the blonde hair, pale skin and icy blue eyes; but something in him reminded me of Narcissa, because under the coldness of his stare, I’d always see some warm. That warm was still present then, after a long time when we hadn’t see each other, mainly because of our parents, who were very occupied. Mine more than usual, actually.

“Nothing,’ I smiled casually, hiding the fact that his father crept me out, ‘I’m just nervous about this night.”

Draco raised his brows at me but decided to forget it, acting like he believed me. “What did your father mean?’ he asked, ‘All together?”

Sighing, I rested my hand on the piano. “I have no idea, kid.”

He wanted to hiss at me for calling him like that, but he was interrupted by the music. A dancing melody filled the room, the piano and violin sounds pairing together and resulting a beautiful song – I would recognize it as my mother’s favorite, the one she always asked me and Felix to play together when we were little. A lot of time had passed since me and my brother played together, side by side, but I had to accept the idea that him and I were on different paths.

“Let’s dance,” I asked Draco who wanted to refuse me, but I already was dragging him to the dance floor, in the middle of the crowd.

I made a bow, like I was taught, and Draco took my hand in his, his other hand resting on my back while mine was on his shoulder. We started to dance and I knew we were watched because I’d see them when Draco was spinning me like a ballerina. The dress was fluttering with every move I was making and the room was filled with laughs and joy, everybody starting to have a good time.

“Could I steal your partner?” Adrian Pucey asked behind Draco, Pansy Parkinson having her hand around his arm.

Pansy greeted me with her eyes, the envy being obvious but still good hidden. The Parkinsons were on a lower level, as my father said once, so the girl’s hard feelings for me were somehow logical. My cousin’s son glanced at me like he asked my approval, even if in fact he was the one who could tell the answer – the men decide for the women in this world, and sometimes it’s exhausting me.

“It’d be a pleasure to dance with you, Adrian,” I smiled when Draco stood still, but he let go of my hand and Pansy smiled before taking my place.

My classmate gently grabbed me, his hands having more experience than Draco’s. He pulled me closer and started to take me to the edge of the dance ring, where the people were fewer and the music was quieter.

“I missed your face, Rosier,” Adrian started his speech. “You barely answered my owls.”

“I was very busy this summer, Pucey,’ I laughed, ‘I’ve been to France and then I had a lot of things to do.”

“Like ignoring me?”

I wanted so hard to roll my eyes and tell him to let me be, but the thought of embarrassing my parents in front of the Pucey family was keeping me back.

“Like doing girl stuff, Adrian,” I smiled and continued to dance slower to the music. I knew Adrian was interested in me, but I couldn’t respond to his overtures because of many reasons.

“Then I’m glad school’s starting next week,” he said and traced his fingers up and down my back, giving me goosebumps.

“Only two days until we’ll both be drown in homework and essays.”

He sighed and smirked, “No, darling, two more days until the best year of our lives.”

“What makes you so sure?” I raised my brow as he simply shrugged.

“I have a feeling.”

“Attention, please!” spoke my mother from the end of the stairs, my father being beside her, with his arm around her waist.

“The time had come,’ he announced as a lot of paintings started to float around the room, the crowd clapping, ‘Take a look at the old generations of Rosiers!”

I pulled away from Adrian, his hand still on my back as we looked at the family portraits. I’d recognized a painting of my father and his sister, Druella, when they were still in school, the green ties around their necks. Other family members, many of them dead before I could meet them, were also present through the paintings.

“Is that you?” Adrian whispered, pointing to a portrait who was restored.

I chuckled. “No, that’s my grandmother, Florinda.”

The boy seemed to be confused as he looked at me, at the painting and then at me again. “You two look identical.”

“We look alike,’ I agreed, ‘and I also got her wand when I could perform magic.”

The fact that I was one of the very few kids in the entire Hogwarts with a hand-down wand was strange in many opinion. But the wand wasn’t mine because we couldn’t afford a new one, as some thought when I got it, it’s because it’s a family tradition to have the wand of a death relative – a wand fromm your family, a wand which chooses you.

“And now,’ spoke Anselm Rosier, ‘let me present you the newest painting of my family; something me and my wife, Anastasia, love very much: our children. The Rosier brothers and their little sister!”

I could feel the emotions in my father’s voice but I was left dry as soon as I saw the big frame in the air, above my parents. Me, in a white beautiful dress, with precious jewelry around my neck and fingers, standing on a piano chair, as three boys were behind me: Evan on my left, Felix in the middle and Boniface on my right, all of them having their hands on my shoulders, like they’d be protecting me. We were all smiling bright and the portrait felt like my biggest desire and my biggest nightmare at the same time – even if I saw two of my elder brothers only in paintings, I knew the older versions of them were how they should look like by now. My heart was racing like crazy and only the touch of Adrian reminded me where I was and how I should act.

“Are you ok, Y/N?” he asked, worried.

“Yes, only surprised,” I half lied – it was a surprised but I wasn’t ok at all. But that have been my life since forever: lie with a smile on will make things better.

 ***

The people started to leave our house one by one and near midnight there where only some close family friends. I was talking to Theodore Nott and Draco about some books they’ll need in Transfiguration while Adrian and Marcus were on my couch, talking to my brother about Quidditch, all of them loving that sport.

“Excuse me for a moment, boys,” I asked them and I grabbed the hem of my dress to make walking easier, having in mind to ask Nispy for a glass of water. But on my way to kitchen I’ve changed my mind, going to the east wing of the house, the place where was my father’s office, the library and the room of my family’s tapestry, along with all the paintings.

The hall was dark, some candles hanged on the walls to light the way. I opened the room where my mother usually paints, the smell of tincture and oil entering my nose and slightly burning it. On a stand was the portrait of me and my brothers, calling me, asking me to come and look at it.

So I did – I went in front of it and I stared at it for many minutes until I realized the existence of tears in my eyes. The fact that I’ve never properly knew Evan and Boni made me want to scream in that moment – mat’ never spoke of them and papa only told me minimal information: how they died, when they died and how they were before the tragedy – smart, bold, cunning, brave, polite; they were everything I couldn’t have, the only thing I could only dream of.

“A lady like you shouldn’t be crying.”

I shuddered and looked behind me, where in the door frame Lucius Malfoy was standing.

“A gentleman shouldn’t stalk a girl.”

It was the first time when I couldn’t keep my mouth shut and my head down in front of an adult – this should be an intimate moment and that blonde git is ruining it.

“You don’t understand, Y/N,’ he laughed, ‘You’re not a little girl anymore. How old are you? Sixteen? Seventeen?”

I didn’t answer him; I was going to be seventeen that year.

“You’re a woman from now on, so act like one. I talked to your father and we both agreed that it’s not a bad idea to make sure you’re on your best behavior; so Draco will help us with it.”

 ***

I thought about Lucius’ words the entire night – I couldn’t sleep the entire weekend and I was looking at my papa, hoping he’ll tell me something about it, but he never did. I asked Nispy about it but Tondy, the other house elf, refused to talk to her about what he heard in his Master’s office.

Packing my stuff was always a burden, because I never knew what to bring along with me at Hogwarts – I needed to keep in mind the school’s rules but also be sure I have the best options. I was wearing a black skirt and a grey blouse when I came to the train station, my mat’ and Felix entering the platform 9 ¾ along with me.

“Are you sure you have enough warm clothes?” mat’ asked again and I looked at the three suitcases, wondering the same thing.

“I think she’s good, mat’,” Felix smiled and putted his hand on her shoulder.

My eyes were unconscious looking for a certain person and I didn’t realized it until my brother spoke again.

“Are you looking for that Pucey boy?”

“No,” I rushed to answer, casting mat’s attention.

“His father was talking to yours, Friday – something about how the boy’s interested in you for marriage, one day.”

My mouth dropped and I’m sure my eyes were twice wider. Feeling my fear, Felix continued:

“Papa told him they’ll see.”

That was calming me down a little – that was papa’s expression for when he wasn’t very interested in the subject.

“But he’s a good boy,” mat’ continued and I was never that happy to hear the train’s whistling in my entire life.

“I got to go,” I told her after I hugged Felix tight, already feeling how much I’ll miss him until Christmas. “I’ll write you when I get there, mat’,” I reminded her when she didn’t seem to want to let go of me.

“Take care, my precious,” she whispered before I could pull away, getting on the train and waving them goodbye.

As soon as I got into an empty compartment the train started to move, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

‘Evan died a venerable death,’ told me Lucius Malfoy Friday night, when he looked to the portrait.

All I knew about Evan’s death was the Dark Mark he had on his arm, and that was enough for me. I loved my brother very much, that’s a reason I never wanted to think about what he did in his living years.

“All by yourself?” asked Draco before entering the compartment with Theodore and Blaise.

“Not anymore,” I laughed and welcomed them in. They were all taller now, making me feel little despite of the two years gap between us.

They were all like some little brothers even if only Draco was directly related to me. The thing in this house, Slytherin, is that we’re all a nig family – it’s the only place I know I won’t be betrayed. But I feel like betraying them every time I’m sneaking around to see someone outside our house.

“I’ll be right back, boys,” I told them before leaving, happy to see the lady who carried sweets going to the compartment I left.

The train was moving fast, making me feel like walking on ice – careful and slow, a little Gryffindor nearly knocking me down when he passed by me with a camera in his hands. I recognized him as the boy who published photos and spread gossip about everything around the Hogwarts – I don’t know his name, but I know he’s the reason the whole school knows a lot of crap about me and a lot of other people.

“Be careful, kid,” I spat the words in his face, his face going as  red as his robes.

“Sorry, Miss,” he whispered and I continued to walk away, he doing the same.

I couldn’t let a little Gryffindor ruin the enthusiasm who was building in my chest with every step I made – until a pair of hands grabbed my arms and pulled me inside a compartment, pulling the curtain.

“You could be more gentle, you know?” I asked the boy who was making my heart skip a beat, even if I wouldn’t admit it.

“But where would be the fun, sweetheart?” he responded, cupping my cheek and kissing my lips fast enough for me to not complain.

“I missed you.”

“You’re the one who doesn’t want us to write letters,” he laughed, mocking me.

The fear of my parents knowing about our link was stronger than my feelings and I had to admit it.

“And you know why,’ I sighed, ‘Friday we had a party and Adrian’s father told mine something about marriage,” I confessed, the stress taking control over me.

“Your father doesn’t like Adrian that much if I’m correct.”

“True,” I agreed and let his hands relax me.

“He doesn’t like me that much either,” he continued, kissing my neck gently.

“You’re lucky I like you,” I laughed, putting my hand around his neck.

“So you like me, after all.”

Even if we weren’t in an official relationship, I couldn’t deny that I liked him for real – but I wouldn’t say it out loud only because I’m scared.

I continued to enjoy his lips on my skin, and when he came back to my face, our lips centimeters away, I closed my eyes and waited for him to kiss me. In a fraction of a second a slight click was heard but the union of our lips made me ignore it. His hot tongue brushed my lower lip, asking for entrance, which I shyly gave him.

When we pulled apart I could swear I’ve seen a dark cloud of smoke fly faster than the train, giving me chills all over my body. I froze looking to the window, the air refusing to enter my lungs anymore.

“Y/N, are you ok?” he asked worried, and I prepared another lie, like I always did when he asked these type of questions. 

“Yeah, I’m ok, Cedric,’ I smiled, gathering his hand, ‘Everything is fine.”

A/N: sorry if this is too boring:( ITS STILL A FREDDIE STORY HAVE PATIENCE MY LOVES, I LOVE DRAMA AND SLOWBURNS

[iatethepomegranate]

We are not alone in the dark with our demons, Chapter 12

In which Caleb buys a house in Rexxentrum with Beau and Yasha, becomes a professor, learns how to be a person, and grapples with how to help the other Volstrucker survivors, and his students, in a way he had never been helped.

Content warnings: References to Caleb's backstory, depression, poverty

Chapter summary: Caleb and the Nein meet up in Nicodranas, and he can no longer delay telling them of his failure to protect someone who desperately needed him. But, as it turns out, he was not the only person keeping secrets about that day.

Chapter notes: This is a somewhat chaotic chapter. Enjoy and let chaos reign, I guess! Chapter title is from Three by Sleeping At Last

****

Chapter 12: A mess of a story I'm ashamed to tell but I'm slowly learning how to break this spell

Essek teleported the four of them to the Blooming Grove the following morning to pick up Caduceus, who offered to message Wensforth to save the wizards the spell. They had breakfast in the Grove with the Clays, and got their hands dirty in the garden for a while, until Caleb rolled the aches from his shoulders and began to draw the teleportation circle to Tidepeak Tower.

“I might have to go back earlier than the rest of you,” said Beauregard. “Dairon’s guiding the monks on the Nico hunt for now, but they’re super busy.”

“We can send you back whenever you need,” said Essek.

Caleb’s next few chalk strokes were a bit more aggressive than they needed to be. It was hard not to feel guilty for leaving Rexxentrum while Nico was out on his own and people were searching for him. Essek sat on the floor by his side, knocking their knees together. He felt better, and no one made any mention of his silent outburst.

He completed the final stroke and the five of them rushed through, landing in a familiar tower, where Wensforth waited in the doorway.

“Welcome, welcome.” Wensforth guided them down the stairs. “The master is eager to speak with you.”

Yussa was already arranged on a couch in the sitting area on the ground floor, delicate fingers holding a teacup. Once borderline inscrutable, the man smiled at them as he often did these days. Especially to Caleb, on whom Jester thought Yussa had a crush. Caleb was more of the mind that Yussa saw him as little more than a precocious child, given their respective ages, but his particular fondness was evident all the same.

“Oremid tells me you are teaching at the Soltryce Academy now,” Yussa said. “Sit. We should talk.”

“Hi, Yussa,” Beauregard said, a little pointedly. “How’ve you been?”

“I am well, Beauregard. It is good to see you. All of you.”

They arranged themselves on the soft couches in the space, Caleb sitting across Yussa for ease of conversation, given the man clearly had things to say today. Essek was at Caleb’s side, slightly further than he would be just around the Nein, but close enough to be a comfort whenever Caleb’s anxiety spiked nonetheless.

Essek had been to Yussa’s tower a few times in Caleb’s company before. Given everything the Nein had put Yussa through already, the man had taken the presence of a fugitive of the Kryn Dynasty in his stride.

With a gesture from Yussa, his teapot lifted and poured itself into the other five cups on the little table in the centre of the room. Then, in turn, each cup floated into the hands of his visitors. Caleb accepted his with a soft thanks, slipping into Zemnian out of habit. He had spoken more Zemnian in the last few weeks than he had in years. It was always the little words, the pleases and thank yous, the hellos and goodbyes, that stuck the hardest.

“So…” Yussa honed in on him again. “Teaching. A step down from the original job they offered you, I hear.”

“Teaching is a better use of my time than spying.” There were more things Caleb could say about the Archmage of Civil Influence as a position, and most of them were far less polite. “Astrid always wanted that position more than I did anyway.”

“Good. You might survive to old age after all, for a human.”

Essek flinched a little at the reminder of Caleb’s shorter lifespan. Yussa’s eyes tracked the movement, but he let it pass without comment.

“Are we third-wheeling for you guys again?” Beau asked, but it wasn’t really a question. “Because we can, like, go.”

Caduceus placed a package on Yussa’s table. “Here, I brought that tea you liked last time.”

“Yes, thank you. You are all welcome to stay if you like.”

Beauregard was already standing up. “Nah, I think we’re good. Cool to see you again with your face where it belongs.” She awkwardly finger-gunned in Yussa’s direction, backing towards the door.

She, Yasha and Caduceus left the tower.

Yussa watched them go with amusement. “It seems my social graces are rather rusty.”

“They don’t mind,” said Caleb. “They have met too many wizards to be offended.” Essek snickered into his hand, finally relaxing a bit. “So, you were saying?”

“Teaching is good work, if you can tolerate the children,” said Yussa. “I did it myself for a time. For one to turn down an archmage position… you must have a goal.”

“Leave the Empire better than I found it,” Caleb said. That encompassed all his knotted up feelings about it.

Yussa raised a single well-kept eyebrow. “Interesting. What is your definition of ‘better’, if I may ask?”

Caleb did have a vision for this, and the situation with Felix and Nico had thrown into sharp, painful relief how far there was to go, and how much pain he would never be able to prevent. “No more children thrown on the pyre. No more stolen childhoods. No more abuse. A government and its mages who choose to consider simple human cost, before they consider their own selfish ambitions.” Caleb was typically more reserved with Yussa, but the more he spoke of this, the harder it became to restrain his emotions. “No more wizards with a god complex who think themselves above basic compassion and ethics. No more butchering the innocent to grease the wheels of war. Just… no more.”

“A lofty goal,” Yussa said, quiet. “One that would take the remainder of my lifetime, or even young Essek’s lifetime, let alone yours.”

“I know. Hence the importance of teaching these things to those who will come after me.”

Yussa hummed thoughtfully. “I wish you luck. More powerful men than yourself have tried, and been consumed.”

“Been there, done that. Have the trauma.” Caleb wasn’t sure where he found the capacity to joke, even flatly, about all of this. Sometimes it was easier to get the point across if he allowed for a bit of sarcasm. “In my experience, the children put at the mercy of these people may need the most help. And that is something I can do.”

“I will watch your progress.” Yussa finished his tea, setting the cup aside. “Now, enough of mundane matters. I have been tinkering with Willi some more. Would you like to see the results?”

“Always.” Caleb missed that golem terribly.

They lost a few hours discussing the golems of the Happy Fun Ball, and comparing notes about the pre-Calamity Aeormatons the Nein had encountered. Caleb and Essek had run across Devexian a few times in their travels since. It was a good use of time, and it settled Caleb’s nerves. He felt better.

***

Once they left Tidepeak Tower, Essek disguised as a blonde half-elf, they headed over to Veth’s place. Caleb was somewhat nervous about this, because he knew she would see through any of his bullshit and know he was going through something. And then he would have to explain everything to the rest of the Nein. And, of course, Jester already had an inkling thanks to Astrid.

There was no getting out of this. And it wasn’t that Caleb didn’t want them to know, exactly. He had just grown tired of explaining it. And he knew what little equilibrium he had managed to find would fall away as soon as Veth said or did anything in response, and he would break all over again.

Nevertheless, he messaged Veth as soon as they stepped out of the tower. “Hallo, Veth. Essek and I are on our way to your place. Be there soon.” Then, for old time’s sake: “You can reply to this message.”

The first sound that came through was Veth’s trademark screech. “Caleb! We made lunch. Get over here!” A split-second’s pause. “Good shot! Oh, sorry Lebby. Luc shot Beau in the ass. Like mother, like son.”

Luc was going to be a menace as a teenager. Caleb intended to be around to see it. And probably try to save a little bit of Yeza’s sanity if possible.

Caleb and Essek took their time wandering through Nicodranas. The streets were filled with people out for lunch, enticing scents curling through the air. Caleb and Essek stopped by a bakery to grab some pastries for the group (mostly Jester)--there had evidently been some Zemnian influence on Nicodranas, or the other way around, as treats such as bee stings could be found in both areas. Nicodranas made them a touch sweeter and stickier.

Caleb also grabbed a fresh loaf of bread, though he did not shove his hands into it this time. He hadn’t known that was a poverty thing until Beau and Jester had reacted so strongly to him doing it that one time. He still thought it was a useful trick, but it apparently unnerved people. Bread mittens had kept him warm many times in the freezing cold when he had no one to look out for him, and had to choose between food and something as simple as mittens.

Anyway, bread was wonderful.

They wound through the streets until they reached Veth’s place. There was an unpleasant feeling in the pit of Caleb’s stomach that he couldn’t quite describe. Unease or dread felt too uncharitable, but the feeling was somewhere in that neighbourhood. Essek slipped his hand into Caleb’s, gently leading him to the door. Essek knocked, and it was thrown open in seconds and Veth had already thrown herself at Caleb’s abdomen, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist.

Caleb almost broke then and there. He carefully rested a hand on the top of her head, sliding his fingers through her hair, looking ahead but not really seeing anything. Veth gave him a final squeeze and stepped back, grabbing his hand on the way. It took Caleb a second too long to lock eyes with her, by which time whatever joy had been on her face had been replaced with worry.

“Hi, Lebby,” she said, in a careful soft tone she used whenever he was teetering on the brink of crashing down. “What’s the matter?”

Caleb took a careful breath, and spoke in a measured tone. “I will tell you, but we should eat first. I may not be able to later.”

Veth tugged him inside, Essek taking care of the door and following them through the house. The rest of the Nein were already crammed into the kitchen, stuffing their faces with a simple stew that smelled delightful. It must have been one of the recipes Veth remembered from Felderwin.

Jester leapt upon him with a hug, dragging Essek in with her. “You’re here! It’s so good to see you! We got chased by a dragon turtle again and I turned it into a sea slug like last time, and we got away!”

“This happened at sea, I assume?” asked Caleb, who knew enough about Jester to take nothing at face value.

“Of course, Caleb. Don’t be silly!” Jester let him go, and booped his nose. He managed not to flinch.

Caleb wordlessly held out the pastries and bread. Jester squealed and grabbed them off him, shoving them into the centre of the table. Veth grabbed an enormous knife and began to cut the bread while the rest of the Nein shuffled around to make room for two more chairs. It was a tight fit, and Caleb was firmly sandwiched between Essek and Beauregard, but it felt somewhat akin to Essek’s nighttime pressure on his back and sometimes chest that crushed his soul back into his body. Their thighs were jammed together now, and it was easy to hook his ankle around Essek’s and keep himself grounded. For now.

A bowl was shoved in his direction and he ate mechanically, dimly aware of the chatter around him. Luc’s voice was among the loudest, and it was good to hear his voice. After everything the boy had been through, on Caleb’s account no less. No matter what anyone else said.

Caleb was going to spiral if he didn’t get a hold of himself. And he wanted to have a good time in Nicodranas; he didn’t know when he would be back here. Not to mention he would prefer not to retraumatise the already traumatised toddler by having a breakdown in the middle of lunch.

So he ate. Slowly. Methodically. He silently counted each mouthful, because he needed to count something. And when he had finished the stew, he felt more present in his surroundings. Veth distributed slices of bread with little pots of spiced olive oil and balsamic vinegar, and the Nein continued to chatter away as they tore off pieces of bread, dunked them into the oil, and finished off the loaf. Caleb was glad they liked it. And that Veth had been here long enough to have picked up a local bread tradition to share with them all.

“This is good bread, Caleb,” said Jester.

“I went to the bakery you recommended,” Caleb replied.

“That was months ago! You remembered!”

Caleb tapped his temple.

“Caleb has a very good memory,” Veth said warmly, as if everyone at the table wasn’t already keenly aware.

“I’m a bit curious about that,” said Kingsley, his tail smacking Beauregard in the arm, ignoring her as she slapped it off her. “Have you always been like that?”

“My memory was always good, ja,” said Caleb. It was rare for Kingsley to ask about someone’s past; very Molly-esque, not that Caleb would ever tell him that. “I could count things very well, especially time, and naturally had good recall. I did develop it further at school, but it was always there.”

Most people who found out about Caleb’s memory either saw it as an interesting party trick, or a useful tool if they were more like Trent. He did not speak of the downsides of having a near-infallible memory very often.

But Kingsley was looking at him with sharpness in his eyes behind the easy smile. “Maybe I’m biased since I barely remember anything that this body did before a few months ago, but that sounds feckin’ awful.” He said it lightly, but Caleb could hear the edge in his voice. Kingsley had been around when Caleb had told his story to Beauregard in the Grove; he had the context, and his own experiences, to put things together.

“A blessing and a curse, ja.”

The mood at the table threatened to darken, but Luc was thankfully oblivious to it, and instead started babbling about a huge bug the Brenattos had found in the garden yesterday. And that his father had screamed very loudly. Caleb sat back from the conversation, but was pleased when the tension broke.

“It really was adorable,” Veth was saying.

Yeza rolled his eyes good-naturedly. “Yes, and you were my valiant saviour once again.”

But lunch was just about wrapping up at this point, and Veth would soon turn her focus back onto Caleb and his problems. Caleb’s lunch sat like a stone in his stomach, and maybe he shouldn’t have eaten quite that much. But it was hard to say no to a home-cooked meal surrounded by the people he loved most in this world. Those who were still alive, anyway.

Veth, charitably, let Caleb have a few extra minutes while she and Yeza cleared the table before she sat back down with a sigh, and turned her eyes to him. “All right. What’s the matter?”

Yeza picked Luc up. “I think we’ll go for a walk.” He didn’t know every little thing about Caleb’s shit, but he knew enough to understand whatever they were about to discuss was not something Luc needed to hear. “We’ll be back in an hour.”

As soon as they were gone, Jester spoke up. “Astrid said some stuff happened, but she wouldn’t tell me what.”

Caleb sighed deeply. “All right. I will tell you. Some of you already know what happened. I would appreciate your assistance.”

Beauregard knocked her knee against his. “We’ll help. But you should start.”

So he did. Caleb told the Nein that Astrid had been reaching out to the Volstrucker, and that two boys had been unaccounted for. He led most of the explanation of how they had come to understand what this probably meant, and to make plans for it. Beauregard began to speak up a bit when he spoke of finding Felix and convincing him to speak to them, of bringing in Caduceus to lift the modified memory. Caduceus began to add pieces where relevant, of the things he saw. Of scrying on Nico, and learning where he was.

Beauregard led the discussion of rushing after him and finding the house ablaze, and Caleb very briefly spoke of his experience on the upper floor, and finding the bodies of Nico’s parents. The memories were too vivid, and choked him up a bit, so Beauregard took over once again, and then Caduceus after they had traded places to help Caleb try to save the Baumanns.

“I do have a confession to make,” said Caduceus.

“Oh?” said Caleb, who couldn’t say much else at the moment.

“I was still scrying when Nico lit the fire,” Caduceus admitted. “I saw how he reacted to it. I chose not to inform you, because I feared leaving the scry before your arrival, in case something else happened. I… in the moment, I did not think telling you would have helped, but I wanted to apologise. I wanted to explain all this earlier, but...” Caduceus didn’t finish--maybe he had realised that would be jumping a bit ahead in the story. But Caleb understood.

There had been a small shred of curiosity in the back of Caleb’s mind, but he had been too preoccupied to give it much thought. But Caduceus’s explanation made sense; he had weighed up the benefits of both options and chosen the one he thought best in the moment. Leaving the scry to tell Caleb the house was already ablaze probably wouldn’t have made much difference. The Baumanns had already been long dead by the time he reached them. So Caleb harboured no ill will towards Caduceus for the difficult choice he had made, nor did he resent Caduceus for not telling him sooner, when Caleb had been far too unwell.

“There is no need to apologise,” Caleb told him. “You made a hard decision. Thank you for telling me now, when I am better able to handle it. Are you all right?”

Caduceus smiled sadly at him. “I understand you better now. Not in the way either of us wanted, but I’m all right now that I’ve told you.” He straightened, clearing his throat. “Anyway, where were we?”

They briefly talked about the night they had Nico, and that it had been a bad one for Caleb, and then Essek chipped in to describe the Greater Restoration spell the following morning. And the chaos that had ensued. Caleb spoke briefly about the chase on his side of things, with Beau and Yasha contributing theirs.

“We didn’t find him,” said Beauregard. “Monks and Volstrucker are still on the lookout. Caleb thinks the kid probably ran for the woods to get some cover. He taught Felix the Sending spell and took him back home to his parents.”

“Felix and I message Nico regularly,” said Caleb. “No responses yet.” And, because he was with the Nein, and because they loved him, he said, “I… feel a bit useless, at the moment.”

Jester reached across the table, tears in her eyes, and squeezed his hand. “You’re not useless, Caleb. You’re really smart, and really cool.”

“You’ve done a lot for those kids,” said Fjord. “I’m sure they both appreciate it, even if Nico isn’t talking to you. He’ll find you when he’s ready.”

“Maybe,” Caleb murmured. He was tired.

Veth was watching him, mouth downturned at the corners. “Caleb. Why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve come over.”

Caleb didn’t know what to say to her. An apology wasn’t enough. And he didn’t know if he could explain it right now. He looked away from her, down at the table, and tried not to crack apart with guilt. He was not doing a very good job.

A flash of movement, and Veth had launched herself across the table and into his lap. “Oh, Cay Cay, honey. No. Shh.” She squished his cheeks, which he only now realised were wet. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.” She flung her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. Caleb buried his face in her shoulder. “I’m so sorry. I’m not angry, and I don’t blame you for not wanting to talk about it. It’s okay.”

That only made him feel worse. Breathing was hard. Two hands, belonging to two different people, found their way to his back, rubbing slow circles. The more delicate hand--Essek’s--applied a little more pressure than the other. Probably Beauregard. She was next to him.

“You’re all right, Caleb,” said Caduceus. “We’ve got you.”

Caleb laughed wetly, remembering those exact words from Fjord as they had guided him home after a panic attack behind the coffee shop. Maybe this was a thing now. Or at least a thing from the Wildmother devotees of the Nein.

The rest of the day was quiet. Caleb composed himself after a while, and set up his lesson plans and speech notes on the floor of the Brenattos’ living room. A cup of dead people tea at his side. Surrounded by the chatter of his friends, and Essek’s head on his shoulder as he worked through a book written in Undercommon.

Yeza and Luc returned after a while, and Luc napped on the couch at Caleb’s back. Breathing loudly into his ear. It should have been annoying, but really wasn’t. The boy woke up some time later and wriggled his way onto the floor, peppering Caleb with questions about what he was doing. Caleb was more than happy to answer, hoping he had simplified it enough for the boy. Luc was very clever, but he was also very young.

Most of the Nein drifted away once Caleb seemed more stable. Jester, Fjord and Kingsley went off to check on their crew (including Vandran), and hang out with Marion. Caleb expected he would see her at the Chateau in the evening for dinner. Beau and Yasha had wandered off to the fish market.

Caduceus was still around, and Caleb suspected he actually felt much worse than he was letting on. But he seemed content to chat with Yeza and Veth over tea in the kitchen. Caleb caught snatches of the conversation; it seemed they were trying to explain some alchemical concepts to him. There was a good chance that Caduceus did have some knowledge in the area, but not in the same scientific way. Which made such a conversation all the more entertaining, as fragments of it drifted into the living room as the Brenattos and Caduceus tried to reconcile their wildly different experiences of very similar things.

Luc had just finished asking Caleb what a cantrip was, drawn from his lesson notes for Beginner’s Transmutation. The boy climbed into his lap, resting his head against Caleb’s collarbone. At first, Caleb thought he was still groggy from his nap. Then:

“Uncle Caleb?”

“Ja?”

“Are you having a bad day?”

That was a far cry from most of Caleb’s interactions with Luc, where he was mostly playing the part of the fun uncle with cool magic tricks. Essek hadn’t spent as much time with Luc, and was still phenomenally awkward around both him and Yeza, and even he seemed to notice the shift. Essek froze, his eyes glued to the one spot on the page.

“What do you mean?” Caleb asked Luc.

Luc shrugged. “Your eyes are puffy.”

Caleb chuckled at that; trust a small child to have no filter. “Ja, okay. I cried a bit earlier. Your mother and our friends took good care of me, though.” He thought back to Luc’s question. “We all have bad days, ja?”

Luc nodded, face pressed against Caleb’s shirt. “I had a bad day yesterday.”

“Oh?”

“I was remembering something that hurt a lot. And sometimes when I remember it, I get really sad and can’t think about anything else.”

Caleb, unfortunately, knew exactly what Luc was remembering. Veth didn’t bring it up often, but she had occasionally mentioned that Luc would have entire days after waking from nightmares of fire where he was just… out of sorts. Not wanting to play. Or even shoot his crossbow. Caleb could relate to the feeling.

So he set his pen aside and wrapped his arms around Luc. “Ja, that happens to me, too. Shall we stick together for today? We can cheer each other up.”

Luc just nodded, and Caleb rocked him side-to-side. The boy was probably still recovering, both from his disturbed sleep and the depressive episode.

“You’re good with him,” Essek said later, when Luc had fallen asleep against his chest.

Yeza ducked his head out of the kitchen, probably concerned that Luc was up to mischief in his silence, but his expression cleared when he saw the boy was sleeping. “Thank you, Caleb.”

Luc was not only a child, but also a halfling child, so it was a simple matter for even Caleb to hold him throughout the day. He felt better having someone else to care for, and Luc seemed to find comfort in Caleb’s attention.

***

That evening, they all visited the Lavish Chateau for dinner. Essek was in his blonde half-elf disguise again while the group ate on the ground floor. Luc was still clingy with Caleb, but he genuinely didn’t mind. He balanced the boy in his lap while they ate dinner. The chef had prepared a mildly spiced rice dish for the table that was easy for both of them to eat in this situation.

Marion joined them, graceful and lovely as ever. Like Yeza, she had not held ill will for what had befallen her during Trent’s pursuit. In fact, on more than one occasion, she had joked that she should thank “that horrible man” for forcing her to spend time with Babenon while in hiding. The situation was still complicated between the pair, and Caleb understood those kinds of complications better than most of the Nein. But she seemed happier than she had been in a long time.

Jester had apparently updated Marion with every shred of information she had gleaned from the Nein, so Marion was already aware of Caleb’s new job, and that he and the lesbians had a house together in Rexxentrum.

“It’s quite the change, I imagine,” she said.

“Oh, ja. I still wake up sometimes and have to pinch myself.”

“If you ever find yourself in Rexxentrum,” said Beauregard, “we’d love to have you.” She even managed not to look constipated or aggressive while saying it, which was a far cry from the prickly woman Caleb had met in Trostenwald all that time ago.

Marion smiled warmly. “Unlikely, but I will be sure to take you up on the offer if the need arises. How is your work, Beauregard?”

She glanced at Caleb, and sighed. “Complicated. But Caleb’s ex is the new archmage in the Assembly, and she’s actually not a shitty person most of the time. So that helps.”

Marion looked to Caleb, amused. “How does she feel about your new partner?”

Gods, Caleb had never gotten to have this kind of conversation with his own mother. So, even though the reminder hurt a bit, he indulged her. “Oh. Uh. Well, you see…”

“Caleb’s had a threesome,” Jester supplied helpfully.

“I see.” Now Marion looked very entertained. “We all have hidden depths. The two people who came to warn us about your teacher?”

“Ja.” Caleb’s face was hot, and probably as red as his hair. “They are… respectful of us. But they also told me they would, ah…” He remembered there was a small child on his lap who absolutely did not need to go around telling people he would cut off their balls. “They would cut off an important part of his anatomy if he ever hurt me. So, I think they approve.”

Essek made a choked sound. “You did not tell me this.”

“I was preoccupied.” Caleb didn’t need to elaborate; Essek would figure out what he meant.

Essek relaxed marginally, and knocked their knees together. “Right.” He wasn’t the type for public displays of affection, even if he didn’t have to worry about drawing attention to himself.

Marion looked to Essek. “Good luck.”

He laughed nervously. “Thank you. I will need it.”

“You’ll be fine,” Caleb said. Astrid and Wulf cared too much for Caleb to hurt him, now that they were no longer in a situation where it was required of them.

“Moral of the story,” Beauregard said, already three cups in. “Caleb’s got game.”

“I really do not,” Caleb said flatly.

“Real recognises real, Caleb, and you’re lookin’ real familiar.”

Caleb sighed, relieved that Luc was preoccupied with a puzzle cube he had brought the Brenattos last time he was in town. “We have talked about this before.”

“Yeah, but it’s different in front of Marion. She knows what I’m talking about.”

Marion chuckled softly behind her hand. “Indeed I do.”

“Caleb’s a loving guy, if you know what I mean,” said Jester, and her eyebrow waggle was too much for him to bear. Caleb did not stop loving people, and while it was easier to deal with his feelings for Jester now they were both in stable, happy relationships, there would always be an edge for Caleb. A point where he had to step back.

Kingsley, also quite drunk at this point, was biting his lip while he watched Caleb. “Oh, really?” The flirting from Kingsley was far easier to handle, even if the ghost of Molly made any joy bittersweet.

“That’s quite enough, I think,” said Essek. Gods, Caleb was both relieved and terrified by how well the man could read him these days.

Kingsley and Jester both pouted, and Caleb pounded back his glass of wine so he didn’t have to look at them.

Later, as Caleb carried Luc through the nighttime streets alongside Essek, Veth and Yeza, Essek tugged gently on his sleeve.

“Maybe this is a bad time,” Essek said quietly, tilting his head to check that Luc was asleep. He was. “And I do not expect answers you do not wish to give. But, may I ask you something?”

Caleb glanced ahead, where Veth had grabbed Yeza’s ass; they weren’t listening to this conversation. “All right.”

“I know the nature of our circumstances means we cannot be together all the time,” Essek said quietly. “I had a… proposal, I suppose. I don’t know how to word it, or if you will be insulted. But I notice you are very…” He cleared his throat. “What the fuck am I saying? You are a sexual person, and I enjoy that very much about you. And while we are together, I am happy for us both to fulfill our needs with each other.”

“But?” Caleb had not fully recovered from Jester and Kingsley at the Chateau.

“Well, I was wondering. You know I do not experience attraction as often as you do. That I need to be close to someone, and I am close to very few people. You are the first in many years to have caught my interest in this way. But I know it’s not the same for you.”

“Essek, I love you, but please get to the point.”

“Right.” Essek chuckled, and it was out of sheer discomfort. “I just wanted to say, that if you choose to scratch that, ah, itch while I am not around, I would be okay with that.”

Caleb didn’t know what he had expected from Essek, but certainly not that. “Oh. Um. Good to know.”

Essek glanced around in the dark, evidently found nothing of concern, and kissed Caleb’s cheek. “You are still my priority in that department. And I want to remain yours as well.”

“You are.”

“Good. There will be times when we are apart for a long time. You are still mine, through all of it, but I don’t mind if you, ah, take your pleasures as you need them.”

“That is… generous.” Caleb’s mind was not coping with this conversation at all. “I will… think about it.”

The Brenatto home came into view at that point, and Caleb was relieved that it effectively ended this discussion. Caleb had never really talked about it, but he had also never hidden from Essek the fact he had a lot of feelings for many people going at any one time. Essek came first. Always. And he wasn’t sure if he would ever take Essek up on the offer to invite someone else into his bed in Essek’s absence. But it was good of him to say.

He felt seen, in a strange way. Even though Essek was firmly monogamous, and extremely demisexual, he understood Caleb better than most.

So, as long as Essek wasn’t being self-sacrificing by offering this, Caleb was grateful for it. Even if he never acted on it. He couldn’t think about it right now. Probably wouldn’t for a long time. And if he did think about it, he certainly would not be doing that while Essek was very much within his reach, rendering the offer irrelevant.

They stepped inside the house after Veth and Yeza, and offered to watch Luc for a while. Though no one said anything explicitly for fear of Luc waking and hearing the conversation, it had evidently been some time since Veth and Yeza had been intimate together.

So Caleb and Essek sat in the sitting room for a while, quietly working on their respective studies, with Luc napping in Caleb’s arms.

[kvngjoong]

stray kids + when they introduce you

woojin

“I have something to tell you guys”

although he has his doubts, woojin wants to make sure you’re meeting his members since he considers them friends and wants to treat them that way, too. although he probably wouldn’t introduce you without some level of seriousness attached to your relationship, he would probably talk about you a lot beforehand and everyone pretty much knows your life story before you’ve even met each other

chan

“there’s someone that I want you guys to meet”

on one hand, hes kinda more reserved about introducing you, but on the other he doesn’t like keeping secrets. in the element of openness, chan will introduce you as soon as he can (providing he sees that there is a future between you, of course) so that he isn’t hiding anything from anyone. this works out well, because it means your presence doesn’t come as too much of a shock to anyone and actually, you’re pretty well liked given the transparency

minho

“I didn’t mean to tell you that…”

it was an accident that anyone knew about you in the first place, given that you agreed to keep it quiet until he was sure that it was safe to be announcing a relationship. when he’s talking about what he was doing on his day off and accidentally tells a few members that he spent the time with you watching movies and learning a twice dance, he panics and realises that he’s got to introduce you - luckily everyone liked you, anyway

changbin

“I have a small surprise for you all…”

Although it may have been easier to just… drop you into conversation, Changbin doesn’t make things that easy. Nope, he wants the attention to be on the two of you. So he introduces you at dinner one night to answer every question about the two of you with a smile on his face. At least you can all be comfortable with each other then - no awkward silences when he drags you along somewhere with him

hyunjin

“Pretty, right?”

hyunjin was, in the best terms, making sure that everyone knew who you were before he even asked you on a date. you probably would have known everyone beforehand, since he introduced you pretty early on, but when he officially asks you to be his, he’ll reintroduce you as his and tell everyone to keep their distance with a glare, and proceed to joke about it with everyone. still gives a glare if anyone is talking to you for a little longer than he wanted

jisung

“I know this is late notice, but I’m dating someone”

jisung would be shy about everything, and definitely keep it a secret for a while (since he is worried what people will say). he would introduce you to a few members at a time, starting with chan and changbin, since he’s thinking that they’ll be the nicest and most comfortable with you. eventually you’ll meet everyone, but jisung will take that at his own pace in order to make sure that introductions go smoothly and you don’t get too awkward around anyone

felix

“That person I was talking about… yeah, we are together”

whilst felix accidentally brings you up a few too many times around others, who definitely had their suspicions that he was dating someone, he would probably come out with your relationship to one member first (likely, chan). he would introduce you two first, then invite you over some time when he’s given everyone a speech about you and how to act around you (as in, be nice or he’ll make them regret it)

seungmin

“They were going to know eventually, anyway”

seungmin sets up a meeting between you and the other members without telling either party what was actually happening. you’ll be a bit surprised, especially when you see 8 pairs of eyes directed at you confused to who you were, and it might leave you a bit flustered and not actually wanting to go and eat with them. luckily seungmin convinces you that it’s the right thing to do, and you all end up getting on well - though seungmin owes you for not letting you know you’d be meeting his members that night

jeongin

“You’re not mad, right?”

it may be the case that jeongin forgot to have a conversation about introducing you and accidentally did it when he invited you to do something with him, and bumped into every other member in the process (his fault, he should have checked everyone’s schedules). so it might be a bit awkward, given that no one even knew you were dating, but everyone is accepting and comfortable and spends the majority of the time teasing jeongin for growing up so quickly

[irandrura]

Third and final post: what were my other thoughts?

 Let’s talk about the game’s mechanics first.

I am overall very pleased with the battle gameplay. On the battlefield itself the gameplay is more-or-less unchanged from the past, but the character advancement and customisation system is significantly improved. Moving to a single overall character level and giving every character the ability to change classes at will is a much more fluid and elegant system than in the past, and the ability to choose the specific combat arts and abilities each character takes looks like it adds a lot of depth. It’s probably appropriate for the overall ‘teacher’ theme of the game that you have much more power to mould each character’s skills and talents, but I’d like to see it in other games as well. There’s an important balance to strike: on the one hand, characters should not be infinitely malleable, and should all have their personal strengths and weaknesses. On the other, so much of the fun of the game is in developing characters and watching them grow that it’s really good to be able to specialise them.

Speaking of battle gameplay, divine pulse is great. The Fire Emblem series has always struggled a bit with accessibility, and while casual mode definitely made the series easier, it also felt to me like missing the point. Casual mode is too easy, and by removing any risk of permanent death, it felt like it removed a lot of the game’s tension. Divine pulse is a much better way to make the gameplay a bit easier and less frustrating while still keeping the same feel as classic FE gameplay. It gives you just enough room to survive a lucky enemy crit, or a small misjudgement on your part, without totally removing the need to be careful. I approve. That said, I did feel that by late-game you probably had access to too many pulses and it removed the need to conserve them. With a dozen pulses, there isn’t much risk any more, whereas if it stayed capped around three to five, each individual pulse might have felt more precious.

 (Apparently Mila’s Turnwheel in Shadows of Valentia actually did the mechanic first, and I totally forgot about it. Oh dear…)

Other gameplay innovations were more hit-and-miss, for me. Battalions were fine, but I don’t think I would have missed them if they weren’t there. They helped make the battlefield seem busier and more populated, but they don’t seem to have had a massive impact on the game. Similarly, monsters were mostly fine (Cindered Shadows boss notwithstanding), but again, I don’t think I’d mind very much if they didn’t come back. They rarely actually felt like the most dangerous enemies on the battlefield, and just required a slightly different strategy, and… well, maybe it’s just me, but it feels weird for FE to have boss monsters like that. I suppose arguably it’s been a tension in the series going all the way back to the original game? Marth was supposed to fight monstrous dragons, but his entire game was about enemy soldiers, and dragons didn’t stand out as the terrifying beasts they ought to have been. Still, I’m not sure I’m sold on them here.

When I started playing I complained that exploring the monastery was tedious. You can get into a routine later on, but for the most part, I did think it could have been streamlined more. Having lunch with students or going for special training or browsing the marketplace are all fun things to do, but a bit less sprinting all over the map to talk to everyone and return lost items would have been appreciated. The lost item mechanic in particular feels like busywork. A bit of exploring is nice, but only as long as it doesn’t get tedious. It might have been lovely to explore other locations as well – Enbarr, Fhirdiad, the army camp outside Gronder, etc. – but I can understand that the amount of work required would not be practical.

Speaking of tedium, though… I really could have done with a few more maps. Maybe this is my fault for constantly choosing battles, but I found myself replaying the same forest, plains, beach, or volcano map too many times for comfort.

I might also have liked for crests to be a bit more mechanically impactful, given their important to the world and the plot. I regularly forgot which of my units have crests, and what any of the crests do, since most of them have so little effect as to not matter. The only one I did usually remember was Felix’s Crest of Fraldarius, and that was mainly because it makes him do more damage and sometimes made him kill people I’d hoped to leave on one or two HP. I don’t think crests should have been overpowering, but a little more power would still have been nice. It should not have been so easy to forget that they exist.

Similarly, by the time I finished the game I realised that I had never used a Hero’s Relic, even once. I would like to say that this was a principled decision on my part, given that they turn people into monsters (and it looks like I was right about them being made from bone?), but it was mostly just the BUT-WHAT-IF-I-NEED-IT-LATER effect. They all have quite low durability, and while I understand that infinite durability, as with relics in previous games, was not an option due to breaking how combat arts work, it was still enough to discourage me from using them. Perhaps on a higher difficulty they would become necessary? I always feel a bit sad when for mechanical reasons I never let characters use their most iconic weapons.

 Moving on from mechanics…

There is technically a shipping mechanic, with an S support for the protagonist, but it really felt like an afterthought to me. I don’t think the game would lose anything significant if you just removed all the S supports. Compared to a game like Awakening or Fates, where the second generation makes it mechanically important and the plot seems like it works best with a bit of romantic drama (f!Robin/Chrom and m!Robin/Lucina looking particularly intended), Three Houses is surprisingly chaste. I suppose picking a character to be your waifu might be part of the culture now, perhaps looking also at the growing influence of waifu gacha games, but for me it felt tacked on. I can imagine potentially rewriting the game to make romance a more important theme – perhaps talking about Jeralt and Sitri a bit more? – but to be honest I think that that would have been worse for the game overall.

In particular, it stands out to me as sitting a touch oddly alongside the teacher concept. One of the things that stands out to me about Byleth as a protagonist is the way that Byleth is in a superior position relative to the other units. You are a professor, in a position of authority, and you have more life experience. Your job is to teach and mentor these younger characters. This contrasts strongly with Robin, who I think was presented as the equal of the other Shepherds (your relationship with Chrom is that of comrade and friend), and with Corrin, who was presented as an inferior or junior (your siblings are older than you, and they start off with higher status). Because of that superior position, then, I found the game suggesting a feeling of responsibility towards them, and a feeling of pride in their accomplishments.

This might be a bizarre comparison, but in some ways a game that Three Houses reminded me of while playing was Princess Maker 2, a weird little DOS game from 1993 about raising a girl. The core loop of choosing activities to raise the stats of a character in your care, punctuated with occasional outings to fight monsters and get loot, felt quite similar. Similarly, the emotions that seemed to be evoked, to me, were emotions of care and pride: perhaps not paternal as such, since Byleth isn’t that old, but certainly the satisfaction that comes from nurturing a younger and less experienced person.

For the most part that actually worked, and I certainly applaud it for feeling less icky than Fates. If I compare tea parties to that weird Fates mechanic where you could invite characters to your room and touch their face, it is vastly less creepy. So I’m glad that the romance has been toned down.

And speaking of things that I’m glad aren’t prominent…

I’m deliberately burying this part in the middle of a long post. Tumblr is famously ruthless on issues like this, but fortunately I have a very low follower count and you’re all nice people. Basically, one of my worries going into the game was that Three Houses might be the ‘woke’ Fire Emblem game. I am glad to find that concern averted, at least so far. A person could perhaps make some pretty cringeworthy interpretations of Duscur to do with racial politics, but the game itself does not push you in that direction. Tumblr and AO3 love slash shipping, but as far as I can tell that remains as canonically unsupported as ever. Interestingly, while Three Houses has a small handful of same-sex romantic S supports and endings, as far as I can tell they’re all for Byleth and they’re all simply copy-pastes of the opposite-sex versions. It’s enough for me to genuinely wonder whether they’re in the original Japanese at all, or if they were added. I know translations of FE games have played around with character sexualities before, so it’s possible. At any rate, part of me was concerned that this might be the Dragon Age: Inquisition of Fire Emblem, and fortunately it isn’t. (I mean, I did actually enjoy Dragon Age: Inquisition, but at times it did get to be a bit much.) I’ll take this as a valuable lesson when it comes to not believing posts I see on Tumblr. You’d think I would have learned from previous games: popular fan interpretations of a character are often completely wrong. Three Houses seems for the most part to be a very traditional Fire Emblem game.

In terms of the overall series trajectory, I take Three Houses to be an overall positive sign. Awakening and Fates seemed to be taking the series in a direction that I didn’t care for as much, with heavy use of player avatar characters, much more fan service, and more trope-driven plots. Three Houses seems like a return to deeper worldbuilding and characterisation. The cast of characters overall has definitely been a high point: in Fates I sometimes struggled to build a team of characters that I felt truly fond of, but in Three Houses there were usually more characters I wanted to use than I had space for, and there were no recruitable characters that I truly disliked.

Really, the biggest disconnect between me and Three Houses, in the end, is the fact that Three Houses is built for replayability, and I don’t like replaying games very much. However, I don’t think I can in good faith call that a flaw or poor design: obviously there are a lot of people who love replayability, and considering that I got a good eighty hours of gameplay out of my first playthrough (DLC included) and enjoyed it, I’m not really in a position to complain.

So in the end, then, I think that while Three Houses is not my favourite Fire Emblem and does have some places where it could be improved, for the most part I think it’s quite a good outing and a significant improvement on the last few. It is not designed entirely to my tastes, but what is here is mostly good. Three Houses leaves me feeling much more optimistic for the future of the franchise than Fates did.

[mostlycompetentwriter]

I Am You: Chapter 3

Pairing: OC x Bang Chan x Han Jisung x Seo Changbin

Genre: Romantic Fantasy

Warnings: Smut, some mentions of blood and gore

Previous Chapters: (chapter 1), (chapter 2)

Note: Just to clarify, in the scene where Myah and Changbin are both wolves, they use a special mind link to speak to one another. All pack members can communicate while they are wolves. However, mates can speak to one another no matter what form their partner happens to be in. This is how human Changbin is able to communicate with wolf Myah.

“Have you seen Changbin?” I asked Felix, watching the younger alpha absent-mindedly skin the deer laid out on the table in front of us.

“I think he’s hunting,” Felix replied, frowning as he let out a disgusted sound. “It would be nice if he could skin his own kill every once in a while.”

“He’s always hunting,” I huffed in frustration.

Felix shrugged, “He’s probably not far out. He just left like fifteen minutes ago. You can probably catch up to him if you need something.”

I immediately heeded Felix’s suggestion, shifting forms carefully, as it had certainly been a while since I last allowed my wolf to takeover. However, I knew it would be much easier to catch up to Changbin with a better nose, relying purely on smell to find my tsundere mate. And I picked up on his trail fast, following his scent slowly while I still felt unsteady on the four legs replacing my usual two. I really needed to run more with Jisung when he offered. It was almost embarrassing how out-of-touch I felt with my hyper-active wolf, especially after experiencing yet another clumsy fall along the mountain rocks. 

I was fully committed to shifting every day.

Thankfully, I found Changbin quickly, distracted by the small doe grazing a hundred yards or so away. I waited patiently, making sure my scent was down-wind so that he couldn’t possibly blame me if he missed this kill. But Changbin was the pack’s best hunter, and he tracked down the unsuspecting creature with startling astuteness. 

It was as he was dragging the doe back down the cliffside that he spotted me. His dark brown wolf let out a grumpy growl as he walked over to where I waited. He let the prey fall from his mouth, regarding me with a look that I could only describe as reprimanding. 

I heard his voice speak clearly through our mind-link. “You shouldn’t be out here.”

I refused to back down. “You’re always hunting these days. How else was I supposed to talk to you?”

Changbin’s wolf was imposing as he stood over me. He was bigger than most wolves, and he exuded power and dominance. “Go back to camp.”

I watched as he leaned back down to pick up the doe. “Will you talk to me tonight?”

“I’m hunting late.”

I let out a sharp bark, racing ahead to block his path. “Why are you ignoring me?”

“Don’t act like this, Myah.” 

“I don’t understand why you can’t talk to me. Are you really going to punish me for something I already forgave you for?”

He bullied his way past me. “It’s dangerous up here. Now go home.”

Stung by his disregard, I obeyed his order, starting back down the path with much less spring than I had before. I glanced back over my shoulder at the big alpha, wondering if Changbin knew how much he was hurting me. 

But distractions were never a good thing on the mountain, and I heard the switch before I felt its claws. Unfortunately, I had failed to keep an eye on the path in front of me, as Changbin had constantly warned me about, but that didn’t make it any less shocking. Which is probably why, at first, the pain from the trap didn’t register over my surprise. But then I felt it deeply when I saw the blood. I let out a pained howl, instinctively trying to pry my leg away from the source of my pain. It only worsened the situation, the sharp edges digging brutally into my flesh. 

“Don’t move!”

I heard his command before I could scent him, but Changbin was suddenly there, burying his head into the side of my neck, releasing soothing alpha pheromones even as the pain grew to an unbearable level. I fell to the ground, craning my neck around to look at my mangled leg, bits of flesh and blood amidst the silver trap. I saw fingers next, faintly realizing Changbin had shifted to his human form, working at the trap.

Then I heard the mountain lion’s growl.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I think Channie hates me,” I complained to Jisung, watching the alpha move about his room, a towel wrapped messily around his waist.

“Chan doesn’t hate you,” Jisung chided gently, digging for a pair of sweatpants out of his closet. 

“What did I do?” I asked, ignoring Jisung as I rolled onto my back, looking up at the ceiling.

“Chan’s just stressed,” Jisung said. “He’s got a lot of decisions to make.”

“Mating shouldn’t be a difficult decision,” I muttered because it was true. In fact, mating should be easy with the person you love.

“Don’t be impatient,” Jisung said, suddenly appearing above me. “Chan always thinks about everything too much, you know how he is.”

“It shouldn’t require any thinking,” I said, letting out a whine of protest when Jisung moved onto the bed, crowding me into the mattress. I broke off only when I was wrapped in Jisung’s arms, secure against his strong chest. His vanilla scent surrounded me, and I could tell he was releasing calming pheromones, which I appreciated.

“Everything will work out in time,” Jisung whispered, pressing a tender kiss to the side of my temple.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Changbin!” I cried out through the bond, watching the mountain lion creep closer, likely smelling my blood in the air.

Changbin managed to open the trap and I whined as I pulled my leg free. “Can you shift?” he asked me, but I was in too much pain to concentrate so I shook my head, desperately trying to push myself onto all four legs, but collapsing back down each time. The mountain lion growled, haunches raised in an attack position. Changbin shifted back easily, his intimidating wolf forcing the lion to briefly reconsider its plan. “Don’t worry,” Changbin said, using the mind link to offer me calming reassurances.

I threw back my head to howl, hoping our other packmates could hear the call. Unfortunately, it also prompted the lion into action and it launched itself at Changbin. I watched in horror as it wrestled Changbin to his back, exposing his soft underbelly and tender throat. The sound of its claws slashing through fur and flesh was revolting and my stomach churned dangerously. Changbin fought back, using his hind legs to push the lion off, reclaiming an upright position before chasing after the lion, nipping at its weaker tendons. The lion stumbled on the loose rocks and Changbin brought it down, tearing into whatever flesh his teeth could sink into.

I looked away from the gruesome scene, calling out for Chan and Jisung through the mating bond, but they were probably too far away to hear my pleas. Instead, I let my wolf take control, and she slowly started limping us over to the coverage of the bushes, hoping to disguise the scent of our blood. However, the lion did not like her decision, losing sight of its easy prey. He managed to throw Changbin off, and I winced as his body crashed into the side of the rocks. I tried to throw myself forward but let out a pained yelp when I felt the lion’s teeth dig into my leg, pulling me away from my destination. 

I whined loudly, panting hard against wave after wave of pain, my flesh wound reopened by the lion’s unforgiving teeth. We started down the slope and I knew I was going to die. The lion would easily drag me somewhere it was familiar with, ripping into my throat before using my carcass as its meal for the next several days. I was poisoned with fear, watching my life slowly drain out onto the rocks around me.

But Changbin hadn’t given up, and the lion was unprepared for Changbin to attack again. My mate managed to wrestle the lion into a precarious position of weakness, immediately going for its throat and locking his teeth around its pulse point. I faintly observed Changbin pulling back with a large chunk of flesh between his teeth, my vision swimming in and out of focus. I did register Changbin’s dark scent, and his familiar voice trying to reach out to me, even as the blackness finally claimed me.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I knew Chan was going to break up with me. 

I could tell by his posture, by the distinct way he was hunched in on himself, doing no favors to his taller height. He was also unusually quiet, taking me by the hand to lead me to the meadow where we always played together as children. The one his mother had taken us to for the very first time when we were barely five years old. It was a special place full of meaning and Chan knew how important it was to me, how I always felt calmer when I was surrounded by the familiar daffodils.

He wanted me to be comfortable because the news he was going to deliver would likely break my heart. This was all I could think about when Chan finally turned around to face me, eyes distant and sorrowful. “Myah,” he said my name, and my heart reached out to him. “Do you love Jisung and Changbin?”

I was thrown by the unexpected question. “Of course I do.”

“You know they’ll always take care of you, right?”

Chan’s questions seemed misplaced. “What are you talking about?”

Chan sighed, stuffing his hands into the pocket of his jacket. “Jisung and Changbin are starting their own pack, you know.”

I nodded because it was usually all Jisung talked about. He was beyond excited to lead his own pack, and Changbin was relieved to get away and start his own family. Felix would be joining, along with several of their friends: Seungmin, Minho, Hyunjin, Jeongin, and Woojin. I was excited because I adored the idea of starting something new, especially with my mates by my side. 

But that needed to include Chan as well.

“My father wants me to stay here,” he finally said. “He wants me to lead his pack in the future.”

I immediately shook my head. “You have to come with us, Chan. Jisung and Changbin are your best friends, and I-”

“I’ll get in the way,” Chan interrupted. “You already have two mates, Myah. They both adore you.”

“But I need you too,” I protested, squeezing our intertwined hands. “You mean so much to me, Chan. We’ve known each other since we were kids.”

“I know,” Chan agreed, pausing to look around, a nostalgic smile on his face. “We got into a lot of trouble together, but that was a long time ago. We both have to start considering our futures.”

I stepped in closer, eliminating more of the space between us, even though it still felt like it wasn’t enough. “My future means nothing without you in it.”

Chan’s expression softened. “I can’t do that to you.”

“You’ll break my heart,” I warned him. “You’ll hurt me and you promised you wouldn’t.”

“Not if you don’t let me,” Chan countered. “You deserve a long life, Myah, with Jisung and Changbin.”

“With you,” I insisted earnestly. “Chan, if it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have Jisung or Changbin.”

“But you do have them,” he said. “You’ll always have them.”

He tenderly reached out, thumbing his way across Changbin’s mark on my neck. “But I need your mark.”

“It’s too much.”

“Not it’s not!” I disagreed, clutching even more tightly to him, feeling like he might vanish at any moment. “Chan, you made a promise to me! You can’t say these things...Please don’t leave me.”

I was starting to panic and Chan picked up on it, releasing more of his soothing scent which I consumed greedily, faced with the possibility of never having it again. “I’ll visit when I can.”

“It won’t be the same,” I trembled, disregarding the space he tried to maintain, collapsing into his arms.

“You’ll move on.”

“No, I won’t,” I insisted, leaning up to scent him. “Why are you doing this? Why bother even promising it to me if you never planned on keeping it?” 

He winced as if my comment caused him physical pain. “At one point, I did intend to keep it, but then you mated with Jisung and Changbin. I could see the change in you, the way you looked happier around them. You really don’t need me anymore, Myah. It’s just hard to let go of the past.”

My tears were soaking through his t-shirt, but I knew Chan didn’t care. “If you leave me, I’ll miss you every day. You’re my best friend, Chan. My soulmate.”

“Be good for me,” he whispered into my hair. 

“Stop it!” I harshly interjected, abruptly pulling out his arms, startling both of us. “Stop saying that you’re leaving. If you really loved me, then you would stay.” Chan was at a loss for words, opening his mouth before closing it again. “I don’t care about your father’s pack now,” I continued, “I care about the one I’m building, and I refuse to be a part of it without you. How can you not understand how much you mean to me? I don’t just want you, Chan, I need you! I depend on you for so much and if you left, I’ll be completely empty, because you won’t be there to fill those places anymore.”

I was incoherent, tasting my salty tears as I shook my head vigorously, refusing to acknowledge Chan’s words. Empty threats, that’s all they were. Chan had been mine from the moment we met, and nothing would ever tear us apart. No matter how many people came between us, or how many fights we got into, or how he could ever think we’d be able to live without one another. Chan caught me in his arms before my knees gave out and he brought us both to the ground, holding me close as I cried against his chest. “What can I do to convince you?” I pleaded with him. “I’ll do anything.”

For a while he was quiet and I continued to sob those terrible soul-wrenching cries that jarred the places inside of me that was frightening. Dark places I tried to hide away, like the evil voice that sometimes whispered that I wasn’t good enough for any of them. That voice might be right, but I always did my best. I would always fight for them.

Finally, Chan gently encouraged me to lean back, drying my tears with his sleeves. He picked up my wrist, brushing his lips across the blue-colored veins decorating the surface of my creamy skin. “Shall I do it here?” he asked, glancing up at me with eyes that reminded me of home.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I could only smell Changbin when I woke up, dizzy with the after effects of restless sleep. His scent was spiked with fear. It was enough to pull me back to consciousness, and I blinked against the blinding white light infiltrating my line of vision. “Ah,” a familiar voice spoke. “You’re finally awake?”

I glanced over at Woojin. “How long have I been out?”

“A day or so,” he replied, “But I think it was the trauma. Your leg will take some time to heal.”

I sat up slowly, listening to Woojin’s advice while leaning back against the bed frame. “Is it really bad?”

“I’ve seen worse, but that was back during my training. You’re the first real injury we’ve had in the new pack.”

“That sucks,” I said, and Woojin chuckled. 

“Your mates have been worrying all night,” Woojin informed me. “I couldn’t get Changbin to leave. His scent was everywhere.”

“I can smell it,” I acknowledged. “But when you say mates-”

“Felix freaked out,” Woojin said, rolling his eyes. “He and Seungmin ran all the way to the border, and I’m sure they made it sound far worse than it actually was.”

“That was an important meeting,” I said. “They shouldn’t have done that.”

“Well, Felix is young, and it’s hard to be in your right mind when the third in command is running around nearly hysterical. I had to give Changbin some morphine, his body was halfway between wolf and human. It wasn’t pleasant to see.”

“Great,” I muttered because I didn’t like the idea of everything falling apart over me.

“They can return to the northern lands later,” Woojin said as if he knew exactly what I had been thinking. “I’m sure Taeyong would gladly welcome back Chan and Jisung. He has a mate of his own and understands how it feels to be away when they’re hurt.”

“I can’t really move it,” I said, frowning at my immobile leg. “Is that normal?”

“It’s the cast,” Woojin explained. “Do you feel well enough to talk to your alphas?”

I groaned at the idea of dealing with their high-strung whining, mothering me to the point where I felt suffocated. Woojin grinned. “I can tell them you’re still sleeping.”

“Maybe for tonight,” I agreed.

Not because I didn’t love them, of course, but because they could turn into an absolute nightmare when their alpha instincts insisted I was on my deathbed as opposed to a sterile hospital cot frowning down at my new cast. 

It would be a long recovery.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I could feel Chan everywhere. 

I tried not to wince at the pain, instead focusing on the growing bond, ignoring the way his teeth sank into my wrist, eyes bright with a vivid orange color. Instead, I only thought about Chan and it made the pain bearable. I thought about his lovely hair, naturally curly, thick strands soft between my fingers. I thought about his gorgeous eyes or the wicked slope of his nose. I thought about his handsome features, and how his smile completely eclipsed even the lowest of my moods. I thought about his warm voice and familiar scent, the rich smell of pine that reminded me of my childhood.

I thought about the way Chan made love to me, treating me like I was fragile. His body covering mine, sheltering me under his protective form. His soft kisses drawing small moans, encouraging him to give more. His pulsing cock inside of me, filling me to the brim with all the love he could give. A special kind of love incomparable to the way I felt with Jisung or Changbin.

Because Chan was encompassing. He was everywhere, present at all the points in my life I could remember, good or bad. And he filled all my empty places, the darkest parts of myself that I hated, but he managed to bring light to them all. He was everything I needed to feel complete, marked by three alpha wolves who would do absolutely anything my heart desired.

I was finally me.

[rhetoricalrogue]

1, 3, 5, 7, 9, 11, 13, 15, 17, 19, 21 + ZOE !!!! 🖤🖤🖤🖤

TY!

1. What's their name and how do they look?

Zoe Miranda Dawson. She’s 32, 5’10”, athletic, with jet black hair and dark blue eyes. Mostly all legs, but she does squats and deadlifts and is damn proud of the booty she worked hard to get, lifelong member of the itty bitty titty committee. Her hair is long, almost past her mid-back but not quite waist length and unless she uses a straight iron to tame it, is a mess of waves and curls. She normally wears it up in a ponytail or a bun at work.

3. How did they get the promotion to detective and what do they think about it?

She was brought into the Detective’s Office one day and told that she was going to be shadowing Detective Reele to take her place once she retired. She wasn’t given a choice or an option to decline and while she bristled at it at first, she gradually accepted it, even if she does miss her regular patrols.

5. How are they with people?

Professionally, she’s good at putting people at ease and at getting answers to her questions. Personally, she’s not so great, depending on her mood. She’s more open with friends, but when she wants to be left alone, she has a huge personal bubble that’s fenced in with barbed wire and a huge sign saying “fuck off” in neon lights.

7. Who is their Love Interest and why?

Mason. She thinks he’s hot, he thinks she’s hot, they have a mutual itch that they agree to scratch. Sex is just sex and as long as they’re both having a good time, it’s all good.

9. What do they think of the supernatural?

It was a shock at first, but she quickly wrapped her head around it. She’s cautious and wary around strangers by nature, but now that she knows the things that go bump in the night are real, she’s even cagier than usual.

11. Do they have any tattoos/ piercings?

Both ears at the lobe and upper lobe. She used to have an industrial piercing in her right ear, but let it heal over once she became an officer. She can’t make up her mind on what tattoo she wants, or else she probably would have gotten several.

13. What's their opinion of the Mayor?

He’s a boasting figurehead with an ego too big to fit inside a standard door. She doesn’t like him, and she hates small town politics, so she tries to be polite and professional whenever she’s forced to work with him, but will cuss him out under her breath once his back is turned and he’s out of earshot.

15. What do they think of Unit Bravo? How has that changed throughout the story?

She didn’t need her mother barging in with her team to take over her very first case as a detective. She hated Adam at first purely because he activated her teenaged rebel against authority buttons like nobody else, and tried to be nice with Nate since he was the only one who was actually coming to her to ask questions, but she still got her hackles up when her bullshit meter started to spike at some of his non-answers. Felix reminded her a lot of Tina when they first started and it was easier to be around him. Mason may have been a hot looking dude who was fun to look at, but he was an asshole who ignored no smoking signs and spoke in monosyllables.

This gradually changed once she found out the truth: she and Adam came to an understanding that eventually became the start of a pretty solid friendship, despite their differences, she and Nate always got along well, but now there’s not the “you’re lying I can see you’re lying, don’t be a dick” ping on her BS meter between them. Felix has pretty much been adopted as an honorary Police Cadet/sibling Zoe didn’t even know she needed. Mason is still a FWB, 1 am booty call, but somehow along the way, they both slipped and now there’s a side of “oh hell, I may have feelings.”

17. What are their hobbies?

Zoe likes building things. Her latest project is rebuilding a busted up motorcycle she bought at a police auction for a dollar. The body needs an overhaul, but she’s got the insides in good working order. It’s still definitely a work in progress, but she has an agreement with the local mechanic after doing a security inspection of his building and catching a lot of vulnerabilities to store it in an unused storage bay and work on it there with his tools whenever she gets a chance to.

She also plays guitar, but that’s mostly for her own enjoyment nowadays. When she was a teen, she and a handful of friends had a garage band where she played and did backup vocals. She has a nice singing voice, but doesn’t like to bring attention to herself.

19. What does their apartment look like?

Lots of dark paint on the walls: mostly deep brown in the living room, grey in the bathroom, and a navy blue in the bedroom. Tons of mid-century modern furniture in a dark wood finish and geometric metal lighting in copper and brass. She has a few framed prints hanging on the walls and a large statement lighting sculpture taking up space where her living room ends and the kitchen/dining area begins. It isn’t cluttered since it is a small space, but it also looks lived in and comfortable. The plants on her tiny balcony/fire escape are courtesy of Tina, as are the handful of potted plants inside the apartment.

21. Their favourite/comfort food?

Favorite food: Haley’s croissants, especially when they come right out of the oven. Haley usually texts her to let her know the ETA of a fresh batch.

Comfort food: one of the (many) nannies would often give her a cup of tea with a huge slice of homemade bread slathered with honey and butter when they knew she was having a bad day. Later, they taught her how to make her own bread and the the fact that she could work whatever frustrations or anger out while kneading the dough and that it was a task where she could let her mind wander helped a lot more later in life than she originally thought it would. Her dorm always smelled like fresh bread when she was in college and the small toaster oven sized loafs were popular with her dorm mates.

Detective Ask Game

[queen-scribbles]

By Any Other Name

Heyyyy, first Wayhaven Chronicles fic. /finger guns 

---

One definite advantage--and to be honest, Abigail’s favorite--of knowing the truth about Unit Bravo, her mother’s work, and the supernatural in general was how much less tense it made things. Amazingly, not keeping secrets made casual conversation so much easier.

Well, she amended with a small, private smile, glancing between the two members of said unit currently sharing her office space, in some cases more than others.

Felix grinned, having caught the expression, subtle as it was. “Smiling at the sight of me, Detective?” he teased, and Abigail couldn’t help but snort a small laugh. Before she could open her mouth to reply, however, he rolled right on, grin shifted somewhere closer to a smirk, “Or was it Natey that did it?”

Her coffee sloshed as she set the mug down a bit more hurriedly than intended, in tandem with Nate’s mildly exasperated sigh and straightened posture in the chair he’d claimed.

His quiet but reproving, “Felix...” only bought her a few seconds to scramble for her wits, but hopefully that was enough.

Abigail shook her head, tucking a curl that slid loose with the motion behind her ear. “Just thinkin’ how nice it is t’ be in the know, now. I hate feelin’ kept in th’ dark.”

Nate shifted in the chair, brow crinkling over those unfairly deep brown eyes of his. “I truly am sorry we weren’t free to tell you sooner, detective.”

She bit the inside of her cheek at the gooseflesh that prickled up her arms and instead flashed a warm smile. “I know. An’ I understand it bein’ to protect me, that’s always been Mum’s primary concern. All I meant is it’s nice t’ be able t’ just talk to you. A-All of you,” she corrected hastily, not even daring to look at Felix. If she so much as glimpsed a knowing grin from him, she would very likely burst into flames of embarrassment  “I mean, the ones who deign to,” she joked, trying to change the subject at least a little.

“Ahhh, Adam’ll come around,” Felix said with an encouraging smile. “He’s just grumpy about about working with a human.” He winked. “Even one as special as you are. Might not ever be as fun as us, mind you, but he’ll play nicer once he sees you can keep up.”

“Which we know you can,” Nate added quickly(too quickly?) with a warm smile.

“I appreciate your votes of confidence,” Abigail said with a small laugh. “But good as that is t’ know, I wasn’t thinkin’ of Adam.”

“Eh, Mason hardly talks to anyone,” Felix said, gesturing dismissively with one hand. “I wouldn’t take that personally, detective.”

“Y’know,” she began, running her finger around the rim of her mug with a smile, “if we’re goin’ to be working t’gether more closely”--a quickly raised brow to head off the comment he was about to make--”you don’t need t’ be so formal from here on out.”

“Really?” they said in unison, Felix with yet another grin and Nate with a brow raised in surprise. “That’s... very nice of you,” Nate added, holding her gaze.

Abigail shrugged and glanced down at her desk, picking at the edge of her memo pad. “Why not? It’ll help build a sense of camaraderie, yeah?”

“Not that some of us need any help there,” Felix muttered, amber eyes glinting with mischief.

She ignored him, or tried to. But her cheeks were still warm as she let her gaze drift to the computer screen. Shoot, is that the time? It really did pass faster when you enjoyed your company. “Alright, fun as this is, break’s over. We need t’ get back to work.”

Nate nodded, sitting forward in his chair. “Of course. What’s next?”

Felix, on the other hand, slouched even more comfortably, giving a playfully dramatic groan. “Aw, Abby, do we have to?”

Abigail just barely bit back the grimace, her jaw tightening a brief moment before she answered Nate’s question. “I want to see if Verda’s found anything new, and we should probably check in with Adam and Mason, see what they’ve learned.”

“I’ll come with you,” Nate said, pushing to his feet. “Felix can handle finding the others.”

“That eager to get rid of me, are you?” Felix chuckled, reluctantly peeling himself out of his chair as well.

“No, I just think you’ll enjoy getting out of the station for a while more than you would visiting the lab,” Nate replied smoothly.

“One being true doesn’t mean the other isn’t,” Felix said with a wink, but he headed out the door all the same. “You two behave yourselves, now.”

Abigail chuckled softly as she watched him exit the station.

Nate was holding the door for her when she looked back. “After you,” he smiled. “Abigail.”

She bit her lip to keep her answering sunny smile from spreading too uncontrollably as she stepped through. “Thank you. Nate.” 

“I’m sorry if he jumped straight to being more casual than you intended,” Nate said as they headed for the stairs.

“Oh, no, nothin’ against nicknames,” she said, shoving her hands in her pockets. Of course he’d caught her reaction.  “I’m just not fond of that particular one.”

Despite the brow he quirked in curiosity, Nate did not push for an explanation as to why she disliked the most common short form of her given name. The walk down the stairs wasn’t long, but when they reached the pathology lab door, it was closed with an ‘Out to Lunch’ note stuck on the glass.

“Does he always eat this late?” Nate asked, hands shoved deep in his pockets.

“Not often, but it has been known t’ happen,” Abigail said, pulling out her phone to double-check the time, even through she’d just seen it a few minutes prior.

“Is it worth waiting for him to return, or should we meet up with the others for now, and check back later?”

She nibbled her lower lip in thought. “I’m really curious if he found anything with the new parameters we suggested,” she finally admitted around a sigh. “Let’s give it a few minutes, yeah? If he’s not back in five t’ ten, we’ll regroup with th’ rest of Bravo and I’ll just talk to him tomorrow, I guess.”

He nodded. “Alright.”

The two leaned against the wall, hands in pockets, and Abigail tried to suppress a shiver as the chill from the painted cinder-blocks sank through her clothes. Neither of them spoke at first, allowing companionable silence to settle over them. There was something more to it, however; an edge of heat or tension that was not in the least unpleasant, even if it was distracting.

“Kids used t’ pick on me,” Abigail said abruptly. “Why I don’t like Abby,” she elaborated, then wrinkled her nose sheepishly when Nate cocked his head in confusion. “Sorry, I’m doin’ this wrong way ‘round, aren’t I?”

“It’s alright,” he smiled, half turning to face her. “But don’t feel like you have to explain-”

“I don’t,” she assured him. “I want to.” The loose curl slipped free from behind her ear, and she wound it around her finger as she started over. “I’ve got a fair dose of straight Irish in me thanks to my dad, an’ it decided t’ manifest in th’ most stereotypical way possible”--she paused to tug the rebellious red lock around her finger and gesture to the freckles that covered her face--”which makes me rather hard t’ miss.”

“Can’t argue with that,” Nate commented, but from the warmth of his smile, he wasn’t complaining, either.

Abigail’s face warmed, despite the chilly surroundings, and she looked down at her boots rather than risk losing herself in those eyes. “Anyways, kids bein’ kids, my schoolmates decided that if I looked an Irish stereotype, maybe I was other ones, too. Y’know, the temper, the stubbornness, th’ tendency t’ chatter. An’ well,” she hunched her shoulders, feeling a fresh chill from the cinder-blocks as she moved off the patch she’d warmed through contact. “Kids can be absolutely horrid when they want t’ be. If I talked too much I was ‘Gabby Abby’, otherwise it was ‘Abby the Red’ both for m’ hair and th’ color m’ face went tryin’ t’ weather their jibes without givin’ them the response they were hopin’ for.” A self-deprecating smile pulled at her lips as she scuffed one boot against the tiled floor. “Got real good at that. Maybe too good, considerin’ how long it took later teachers and friends t’ pull me out of my shell.” She finally looked back up to find Nate studying her with such intensity and concern it made her want to freeze and slide closer at the same time. “I know it’s more’n a decade ago, an’ a silly reason t’ dislike a nickname, especially one so common, and surely not meant the same way by anyone now, but...”

“Abigail,” he said quietly, stepping closer. “It’s not silly. Even if it was, it doesn’t matter. If it makes you uncomfortable, then that’s reason enough not to do it. I’ll talk to Felix.”

She shook her head, stuffing her hands in her pockets. “I’ll do it. It’s my name. B’sides, he might listen better hearin’ it from th’ source.”

Nate laughed. “An excellent point. He will ask for alternatives, mind you.”

“Mm, will he?” she replied with a laugh of her own. “Perhaps simply ‘Abigail’ is good enough for now.”

“I think so,” he said softly, smile tugging his lips as he gently tucked the hair back behind her ear. “And not just for now.”

She was suddenly very, very aware of her heartbeat, the cinder-block wall pressing her shoulder as she turned to face him, and just how alone they were down here. “Thank you, Nate,” she mumbled, fighting the urge to reach up and touch the hair he’d just smoothed back. “And also thank you for comin’ with me. Th’ creepy basement hallway doesn’t seem so bad with... with company.”

Nate’s smile bloomed even more fully, as if he guessed the extra word she’d almost dropped in that sentence, and he leaned a little closer. “You’re very welcome, Abigail. It’s no trouble, and we are supposed to be protecting you, after all.”

Abigail smiled and drifted closer to him. “Oh, I see. So protection’s the only reason you’re keepin’ me company, Agent Sewell?”

His smile stretched into a full-blown grin and he closed the distance still further, now close enough she had to tip her head back to meet his gaze. Which she very much wanted to do, especially if he was going to keep looking at her like that. “What do you think, Detective Jenings?”

God, her heart was either going to leap out of her chest or stop altogether. “I think-”

“Oh, detective, I’m sorry, have you been waiting long?”

Abigail’s eyes fluttered closed and she fought down the rapidly rising scream of frustration. She really was going to shoot the next thing that did that, human, vampire, or otherwise. No matter who it was. “Not long, Verda,” she said, shooting Nate a final lingering look as she spun to face the source of the latest horribly timed interruption with a smile on her face. “We’d just wanted to see if you had found anything new?”

Verda’s gaze flicked across the small gap between her and Nate as he nodded.  “Actually, yes. I hadn’t quite finished writing up my report, but if you two would like to come in” --he moved past them to unlock and open the door--”I can have it done in just a minute.”

“Thanks, that would be great.” Abigail trailed him through the doorway, a faint smile pulling her lips when Nate had to duck as he followed suit, butterflies tickling in her chest when the movement brought him close enough their arms almost brushed in the moment before he straightened.

“I’ll just need a minute,” Verda reiterated, sliding onto his stool and tugging over the manila folder.

“Take your time,” she assured him, leaning against a counter. Nate mirrored the pose nearby, and when she glanced his direction, Abigail caught him studying her again. The two of them shared an only mildly-abashed smile before they settled in to wait for the report.

And if their hands happened to slip against the shiny metal counter and wind up closer to each other, well, that was obviously an accident. Nothing more.

True to his word, Verda finished the report swiftly and handed it over. Abigail thanked him, Nate held the door for her, and the two of them headed back up the stairs. Her phone chimed as they stepped back into her office, and she pulled it out to check the screen, fairly certain she knew what it was, considering Nate’s pocket buzzed practically in tandem.

Sure enough, “Felix says we need t’ meet up with them. Guess they found somethin’ important.” Abigail gave a wry chuckle and tucked the report in a drawer. “So that could’ve waited for t’morrow after all,” she commented, reaching for her jacket. 

“At least now you’ll have it soon as you come in,” Nate pointed out.

“True.” They pulled on their jackets and he waited while she closed up her office. “Felix didn’t happened t’ tell you where they are, did he?” she asked, bemused, as they made their way out of the station. It was a rather important piece of information, and one he’d left off.

He shook his head and held the door for her, smile pulling at his lips. “He did not. We’ll just have to walk until we find them.”

The shiver that traipsed up her spine had nothing to do with the cool air, Abigail was fairly certain. She smiled. “Oh, what a shame.”

Nate chuckled and shoved his hands deeper in his pockets. “Is it? I can’t think of many better ways to spend such an afternoon than a good walk with good company.”

Her face flamed as she fell in step beside him, noting once again how he checked his stride so she could keep up. “Hard t’ argue with that. An’ at least it’s still light; keeps it from bein’ too chilly.”

“As well as allowing us to enjoy the view.” His expression was innocent and gaze on the picturesque streets spread before them, but there was just enough a hint of something in his voice to tell her there was deeper meaning to the words.

“That it does,” she agreed lightly, her own faux innocence even more easily seen through than his, she was sure. “No rush, then, I suppose?”

“Not so far as I’m concerned,” Nate said. “Adam might disagree.”

“Best not to mosey, then,” Abigail replied with a quiet chuckle.

Even if they didn’t mosey through the streets, they didn’t exactly hurry, either. It gave them plenty of time to enjoy the weather and company both, an arrangement that suited Abigail just fine. She planned to enjoy all the benefits of knowing the truth, but she’d have been lying to deny that these sorts of moments were right at the top of the list.

[mimzy-writing-online]

I'm incredibly sorry for this ask , but I'd like the opinion of different writers. I have this story I have finished. It's has been re-read, edited, polished. It's technically done. The story is consistent, the pacing is okay. But what I don't like is how the characters are portrayed. They lack life, and I think it may be because during the years I improved my writing, and now I'm sure I'd be able to do better. What would you do? Would you rewrite the story from scratch? Thanks in advance.

First, no worries about asking for advice. That’s legit what I’m here for. And having been in the same position you are now, (twice) I know how impossible it feels.

Off the bat, advice I would recommend: 

Beta Reading: Get some fresh eyes to look at it, ideally someone who 1) reads books in that genre and that age range, and 2) has no obligation to worry about your feelings.

Thoroughly consider why you want to rewrite it: make an actual pros and cons list. It sounds silly, but it helps because you realize what decision you’re arguing for, what your instinct says.

Give yourself a shot at attempting a rewrite. Give yourself a set time limit to try it out. Your current book isn’t going anywhere and publishing takes forever anyway, so what’s another month or another three months?

At the end of this trial run you can ask yourself: Did a rewrite make it better? Do the characters and their world feel more alive? Even if it looks like a mess, given more time to finish and edit, would it look better than the original?

If you find you like the characters better, if you feel like you know them better, then you can consider going through the book and highlighting where they feel out of character compared to your new understanding of the characters

Watch Whispers of the Heart. I mean it! It’s a Studio Ghibli movie, and I swear to god it will inspire you and make this decision a little easier. The whole movie is about developing your creative craft. Its overall analogy is that of a geode. Your craft looks rough and sloppy on the outside, but with time, practice, and love you’ll find the beauty hidden underneath and make it shine. Amazing movie, it will change how you think about writing.

Now, finally, ask yourself: Is this the story I want to debut with? Is this the story I want to begin my writing career with?

This will be when you make your decision.

That’s the most objective advice I can give you. Since you’re asking a lot of writers for their stance, you’ll probably have a few different opinions, but I think running through this troubleshoot method will give you a chance to see for yourself.

My biased opinion?

It comes from my own experience with A Witch’s Memory. 

This is about to be a very long story, fair warning, but it’s my entire thought process over 7-8 years of working on and off with the same project. A big part of the reason why I’m going in depth about the experience is because I keep going back to what you said:

“I think it may be because during the years I improved my writing, and now I'm sure I'd be able to do better. What would you do?”

The same thing happened to be. I started the series when I was much younger, but in the 7.5 years since then I’ve changed a lot as both a person (not adult/not teenager) and as a writer (who’s had several projects since then). I’m gonna walk you through 7.5 years of personal development and how it affected the project.

I joke that A Witch’s Memory has three universes, and those universes are all different rewrites. I first started the series I was seventeen. I finished the rough drafts of three books in the series and got down to full on editing the first book after I graduated high school. Within a year I had a finished novel that wasn’t necessarily polished (not by my standards today) but at the time I was ready to move forward and publish. I sent query letters out to lit agents but didn’t get any bites back. I didn’t get to work at it for long due to health issues, my whole body kind of just crashed so for six months I was too sick to do much of anything, let alone stress myself out over query letters. I started community college the next semester and got more involved in school than in writing.

17 when I started, 18 when I started editing, 19 when I queried and got sick, almost turning 20 when I started college.

I put the book on hold for another year and focused on school. During that time I had a lot of personal development as a person. I got more experience being myself, being an adult who can make decisions for themself.

And I realized that at age 19 I’d developed a lot of insecurities about my book.

In my case, it was the world building. I love my characters, and at their heart they’re still the same, albeit a bit more realistic. I re-examined what about the world building I didn’t like.

It felt too much like Twilight to start, with the way vampires and werewolves were supposed to hate each other, and witches and fairies hated each other, because that just made sense to a 17 year old who had never read paranormal before Twilight changed the direction of the genre.

I didn’t like magic being a secret that no human could know about, so I changed that. I didn’t like my character’s backstories too much, so I tweaked that too. For the best.

At age 20/21 (it was right around my birthday) I rewrote the entire first book. After finishing the rough draft I looked at editing it, looked at starting the rough draft of the second book, and I realized I didn’t like this version either.

So I put it on hold for anther two years. I worked on two different projects, experimented with writing style, got to know myself as a person better.

At 23 I reexamined what I didn’t like about “Universe 2″ and I realized-

I wasn’t comfortable with the way the book was written now. Too many main characters meant to many pov changes and too many personal plot lines to plan. I could see from the beginning how much I favored Anna and Ulric and Felix over my other main characters, so I cut my cast of six main characters down to three, focusing on my favorites. I also saw that the setting wasn’t working for me and it would be a lot less stress for me to chance the setting to somewhere I was more familiar with, setting it mostly in America instead of the U.K.

And I decided to stop worrying about what my past beta readers would think if the book didn’t look the same in “Universe 3″ and to just run with my heart.

(For any wondering, the beta reader in question is my mum, who has been the biggest supporter of my writing since I was 14 and believed I would be published even when I was ready to give up writing and work at a different career. She’s very attached to “Universe 1″ but it’s not where I want to go, and I know she’ll love this new direction when she reads it)

I started the rough draft for Universe 3 in January of 2019 (almost a year ago to the day I’m writing this). I did it on a whim. I had a dream of Anna and Ulric flying to safety from a villain on a broomstick and I asked myself why witches never had broomsticks in my old world, and I was like “why not, let’s add it”

And I just messed with world building. I aimed it for a more whimsical feel than my older angsty versions. I’m gonna blame all the Studio Ghibli movies I saw that year. Some of my local theatres have been doing special weekends where they show the movies, and I’ve gone to see four in the last year or so. I saw Kiki’s Delivery Service a few months earlier with my best friend (A) and then a month after starting the new draft I saw Howls Moving Castle and Spirited Away (same week, I think, all in theatre) and then as I was finishing the rough draft I saw Whispers of the Heart for the first time.

(this was the moment I realized that specific movie would help A LOT on this decision making process, so I included it above)

Anyway, I just gave myself permission to go in a completely different direction with my book.

I should note, that at 23 I had been visually impaired/blind for some 3 years, although it wasn’t medically official until I was 22. I’d also fallen in love for the first time and broken my own heart. I’d also spent the last two years struggling with gender and sexual identity and really starting to understand that part of myself. 

So in general, the whole experience with those last two years of my life really changed the direction I took the book. 

I focused more on internal struggle as well as the outside “main bad guy” I’d always been planning to work with. It 

I kept the heart of my characters the same. Anna is still the kindest person you’ll ever meet, as well as sarcastic and brilliant and studious. Ulric is an anxious mess who is crazy loyal to his friends and who wants to gain his own independence. Felix is still a brat, but a loving one with the dryest sarcasm and a penchant for mischief.

Anna’s more cautious than her original incarnation. Ulric wasn’t disabled in previous versions (but at 23 I was disabled and I wanted to write a blind character, but I didn’t want blindness to be their only trait, so I took my most developed character and made him blind). Some of the characters are POC instead of white, I let myself have multiple LGBTQ characters (because 17 year old me thought the token queer was the norm because I only had one queer friend before that and we weren’t that close) and I changed some origin stories. It’s much better for that.

Growing up taught me how to put more life in my books, how to write more realistically less melodramatically, and what it feels like to have friends. Seventeen year old me didn’t have many friends in life, but 24 year old me has some wonderful friends.

Summary in Short?? (can I even do that?)

This advice post is getting long and I’m feeling bad, so okay, here I am: I’m almost 25 (in March). 17 and 23 year old me were very different people with different priorities and different levels of experience. And if I had to choose which book I would go with? 

I’d stay with Universe 3 (and Universe 1 will just be a thing my mum and I know and keep to ourselves, mostly)

I’m nearly done with the 1st edit. I still have days of self doubt, but they’re nothing like what I had years ago. I’m closer to publishing than I was before, mostly because I have a solid plan now and I’ll be self-publishing, allowing me to publish on my own.

In my case, rewriting was the best decision I could have made. I’m not everyone else though, nor am I you. You know yourself and your story better than anyone, and I know you are the most qualified person to make that decision. I have confidence in your ability.

[anarkhebringer]

hi i'm back, can i get some more modern felix stuff please? just anything you can think of would be perfect!

Hiiiii nonny, welcome back~~~

But anyway yee, you may have a lot of random modern Felix stuffs. I’m always happy to deliver. I’m gonna try to not make it too long, but it’s already a mile long now by the time I’ve made most of the main points so I might as well just roll with it a bit. This is definitely gonna be a very long read.

Living with his aunt for the number of years he has eventually led him to developing an occasional southern drawl when he speaks, since his aunt has one. It’s a very rare thing though, and almost never happens. When it does though, he HATES IT.

The influences on his speaking from his aunt mostly shows in his wording of things, since sometimes when he gets spirited about something he says “y’all” and such all the time. One time when Sylvain was just being Sylvain, and neither Felix nor Ashe could calm him, Felix just muttered “y’all’re gonna bleed me dry someday…” Sylvain and Ashe thought it was the cutest fuckin’ thing, and Sylvain calmed down after that. Neither mentioned the drawl though since they quickly learned from hearing stories that Felix will get really pissed if you tease him about it or even mention it too much for his tastes. Which is just mentioning it at all.

He’s not easily scared at all, but just walking past him wrong can make him jolt from being startled sometimes. That’s something from his traumas that’s finally starting to come to the forefront that couldn’t before, since he could suppress everything that hindered his progress in combat, but he can’t do that anymore.

He’s gotten to be a person who can really enjoy his leisure due to his really deep dive into depression that happened after he got his ability to be in combat taken away from him. He and Linhardt could have had a competition to see who can fall asleep while standing up and stay standing the longest. He has medication that helps keep him awake enough to not be able to do that anymore though, but he has really bad insomnia now as a result of his completely chaotic and inconsistent sleeping schedule. His stress wrinkles in the inner corners of his eyes are completely covered by the dark circles under them now that really shows his wear and exhaustion.

He won’t at all complain if he’s given a task to do by someone that isn’t in his household, and it’ll keep his mind active and keep his mood in a positive place if he isn’t overworked. He does get drained way easier now though if what he’s asked to do involves socializing or interacting with anyone in any way too much.

When he’s drained socially, he becomes very aggressive and unstable. He’ll get like he used to be and completely isolate, and lash out if you interrupt what he’s doing and you don’t want to actively participate. He’d still get mad that you interrupted him though, and he probably won’t let you participate unless you’re among a certain handful of people.

Ashe and Claude are the only two people who don’t mentally drain him whatsoever, and he could see them literally every day if they wanted to do that. Ashe because Felix cares for him so much, and Claude because they’re so similar. He and Claude don’t drain each other because they can go literal months without speaking, then pick up on what they left off on like they only stopped talking for a day or two. Same with Ashe, though Felix becomes slightly noticeably more down and sad when he doesn’t see Ashe for too long a timespan.

He has a secret love of cuddling, and also hides his full support of platonic PDA, cuddling, and even kisses and such if there’s enough mutual trust between the ones involved. He’s very touch-averse and sensitive to others touching him, so he only really lets Ashe, Claude, and Sylvain touch him to show affection. Only Ashe can do much, and he only really tolerates Sylvain’s occasional one-armed hugs or quick pats on the shoulder as he walks by. Ashe however can hug him (after making his desires to do so known of course), hold his arms, and even his hands, since Ashe is the kind to show affection by physical means whenever he’s allowed to do so. They even cuddle at night when Ashe stays overnight at his apartment.

He actually lets Sylvain cuddle with him too when Sylvain really needs the affection during hard times, though he never returns it unless he does so while he’s asleep. It’s become a comforting thing to wake up to, feeling the warmth of Sylvain against him and his arms wrapped around Felix’s frame, even though Felix didn’t really want it to become that. At first, anyway.

His depressive rut wasn’t all bad in some cases, and because of the isolation he went into, he’s become extremely artistic and tech savvy since he didn’t have much to do to occupy himself. Being extremely brainy as is really helped him get going with these things.

He’s also learned to hack and code on the computer from that rut too, and he could get you into anything you wanted him to. He knows all sorts of ways to hide himself under all sorts of circumstances, and clear his tracks if he’s found, so he could actually be extremely dangerous if he were to use this knowledge and skill for anything shady. The most he uses it for is to make modifications to games and explore the Dark Web as anonymously as possible when his morbid curiosities get the best of him, though.

Well, there have been times where he’s used his skills to scare people. There have been times where people have threatened his friends (namely Claude and Ashe), and to scare the bullies off, he hid himself and hacked into their devices to make text documents warning them to stay away or else there would be trouble, because they’re always being watched. That always managed to scare them off on the first try, and he’s never done anything more than that, because there was no need.

He’s super protective of what few friends he has. He’d willingly put himself in danger for them all the time, unless of course they got themselves into the mess they’re in and he feels they don’t really deserve to be helped out of a situation that’ll be them learning their lesson. Otherwise, he’s borderline obsessed with his friends’ safety and happiness. It’s hard to really see that outside of sudden outbursts from him, since he’s so averse to socialization and unable to understand/express emotions well, but if he’s really needed and he can mentally handle it, you’d best believe he’d be completely focused on doing whatever he could do to help a friend in need for as long as they needed him.

Stuff like this has his friends really knowing who he is eventually, and he doesn’t like that. He’s actually really nice, but his way of showing it isn’t exactly common. Onlookers would think he’s just indifferent unless he’s feeling particularly chipper and/or manic, but his friends get to be on the receiving end of conversation and see him do more personal things compared to others, so they know he’s far nicer than even he thinks he is. He’s become oddly patient compared to his old self, and can hold a conversation for a while longer than he used to. If you get him talking about certain topics, though, you could manage to talk with him for literal hours on end.

He’s overall pretty chill now. Depression has taken the constant explosive anger out of him. He’s still always angry and bitter to some degree, but not to the point of lashing out at every little thing that upsets him. He’s still just as blunt as he was before, but he’s become a lot more passive-aggressive and/or condescending when it shows, instead of sudden outbursts and hurling insults around at all turns. And to those who have received both from him, the current version of his aggression hurts them a lot more, since he shows so little emotion during the times he throws something out to hurt them. All they see is (sometimes) in his body language, and the bitter fogginess in those eyes from how empty he’s become. Even his tone has changed. He’s not as aggressive sounding unless he’s more angry than usual, but he’s got a bitter tone. Or worse, he sounds almost monotone, like he feels absolutely nothing. If he’s got the tone of voice he used to have before, know that he’s on the verge of snapping and lashing out, and that goes from angry sounding to yelling at any time. And he yells loud.

He tends to cry a bit more than he used to now, since he gets overstimulated really easily. He can hold it in around other people most of the time unless it’s particularly overwhelming and getting even worse. It sometimes reminds Sylvain of when they were kids, but then he feels bad thinking of it like that since Felix has more going on in his head than he did back then. He’s trying to work on stopping that association, and he’s starting to get better at not thinking of Felix when he was a kid when he cries.

He used to parade around talking about how he wasn’t one to laugh and joke, but nowadays he’s not like that anymore. He still won’t joke often, and jokes go right over his head and he doesn’t get it and may ruin it usually, but he lets himself laugh at things he finds funny. Not around other people, though. Unless it’s from something else he finds funny, like a YouTube video. His laugh is like an odd mix between Vinny from Vinesauce, Bluesdank, and FPS Diesel. He’s the rare kind of person that’ll laugh in 10 different ways in one sitting and them all be real laughter. The sound of his laughter isn’t too consistent at times.

There’s another reason he can’t do much anymore aside from his depression, and that’s because a year or so ago he had a fit of smaller seizures that shocked his system really bad because of how long it lasted. After that, his mental regression that was already happening because of what he has has gotten much faster in its progression.

Despite these new growing limits he has, he’s still doing his best to keep going and existing on doing what he can do with what he has, and he’s shifted from being solely focused on a person’s skills in battle to how much heart they have due to it. He won’t care about combat skills anymore if you aim to impress him, he cares more about what you bring to the table. Your skills with a sword don’t show what you put your heart into in life and what you do for yourself and others. If you wanna impress him, give him a gift from the heart, not anything store bought. Do something nice for someone. Draw him a picture, write him a letter, pick him some flowers you think he’d like. Maybe take him to the park? Talk to him about your interests, voice your opinions on what you enjoy. Something that you can put your heart into, and I can’t stress it enough. He cares about a person’s core more than their fighting prowess now. He’s sworn off of focusing so much on fighting forever since he got the ability to do so himself taken form him, and he refuses to still dwell on it with others, too.

Alright, that’s gonna be where I cut it off for now. Hopefully that was a good read. I’ve made Felix go through some shit in this AU, but hey, he’s one of the characters I picked to put a theme of healing and strength onto, so I gotta give him some lore to get him to the point of being so different now. Plus a softer Felix makes me warm inside, so I wanted to incorporate that in, too.

[gaysparklepires]

30. First Round

Read on OA3 - Links up Top!

How was I going to find time alone to hunt down J. Jenks, and why did Alice want me to know about him?

If Alice’s clue didn’t prove to be helpful, what could I do to save those I loved?

How were Edward and I going to explain things to Taras and his family in the morning? What if they reacted like Ivan? What if it turned into a fight?

I didn’t know how to fight. How was I going to learn in just a month? Was there any chance at all that I could be taught fast enough that I might be a danger to any one member of the Volturi? Or was I doomed to be totally useless? Just another easily dispatched problem?

So many answers I needed, but I did not get the chance to ask my questions.

Wanting some shred of normality, I’d insisted on staying in the cottage that night. Jacob was more comfortable in his wolf form at the moment; the stress was easier dealt with when he felt ready for a fight. I wished that I could feel the same, could feel ready. He ran in the woods, on guard again.

Once we were back at the cottage, I tried to unobtrusively search to see if there was a chance Alice had left something—anything else that could help me. When my search proved in vain, I returned to the front room of the cottage to ask my questions of Edward. The ones I was able to ask, at any rate; one of the most difficult problems was the idea of trying to hide anything from him, even with the advantage of my silent thoughts.

He stood with his back to me, staring into the fire.

“Edward, I—”

He spun and was across the room in what seemed like no time at all, not even the smallest part of a second. I only had time to register the ferocious expression on his face before his lips were crushing against mine and his arms were locked around me like steel girders.

I didn’t think of my questions again for the rest of that night. It didn’t take long for me to grasp the reason for his mood, and even less time to feel exactly the same way.

I’d been planning on needing years just to somewhat organize the overwhelming passion I felt for him physically. And then centuries after that to enjoy it. If we had only a month left together... Well, I didn’t see how I could stand to have this end. For the moment I couldn’t help but be selfish. All I wanted was to love him as much as possible in the limited time given to me.

It was hard to pull myself away from him when the sun came up, but we had our job to do, a job that might be more difficult than all the rest of our family’s searches put together. As soon as I let myself think of what was coming, I was all tension; it felt like my nerves were being stretched on a rack, thinner and thinner.

“I wish there was a way to get the information we need from Elena before we tell them about everything,” Edward muttered as we hurriedly dressed in the huge closet that was more reminder of Alice than I wanted at the moment. “Just in case.”

“But she wouldn’t understand the question to answer it,” I agreed. “Do you think they’ll let us explain?”

“I don’t know.”

I couldn’t waste one second of time today. There were answers I needed and I wasn’t sure how much time Edward and I would have alone today. If all went well with Taras’s family, hopefully we would have company for an extended period.

“Edward, will you teach me how to fight?” I asked him, tensed for his reaction, as he held the door for me.

It was what I expected. He froze, and then his eyes swept over me with a deep significance, like he was looking at me for the first or last time.

“If it comes to a fight, there won’t be much any of us can do,” he hedged.

I kept my voice even. “Would you leave me unable to defend myself?”

He swallowed convulsively, and the door shuddered, hinges protesting, as his hand tightened. Then he nodded. “When you put it that way... I suppose we should get to work as soon as we can.”

I nodded, too, and we started toward the big house. We didn’t hurry.

I wondered what I could do that would have any hope of making a difference. I was unique, to be sure, and I was a tiny bit special, in my own way—if  having a supernaturally thick skull could really be considered special. Was there any use that I could put that toward?

“What would you say their biggest advantage is? Do they even have a weakness?”

Edward didn’t have to ask to know I meant the Volturi.

“Alec and Jane are their greatest offense,” he said emotionlessly, like we were talking of a basketball team. “Their defensive players rarely see any real action.”

“Because Jane can burn you where you stand—mentally at least. What does Alec do? Didn’t you once say he was even more dangerous than Jane?”

“Yes. In a way, he is the antidote to Jane. She makes you feel the worst pain imaginable. Alec, on the other hand, makes you feel nothing. Absolutely nothing. Sometimes, when the Volturi are feeling kind, they have Alec anesthetize someone before he is executed. If he has surrendered or pleased them in some other way.”

“Anesthetic? But how is that more dangerous than Jane?”

“Because he cuts off your senses altogether. No pain, but also no sight or sound or smell. Total sensory deprivation. You are utterly alone in the blackness. You don’t even feel it when they burn you.”

I shivered. Was this the best we could hope for? To not see or feel death when it came?

“That would make him only equally as dangerous as Jane,” Edward went on in the same detached voice, “in that they both can incapacitate you, make you into a helpless target. The difference between them is like the difference between Aro and me. Aro hears the mind of only one person at a time. Jane can only hurt the one object of her focus. I can hear everyone at the same time.”

I felt cold as I saw where he was going. “And Alec can incapacitate us all at the same time?” I whispered.

“Yes,” he said. “If he uses his gift against us, we will all stand blind and deaf until they get around to killing us—maybe they’ll simply burn us without bothering to tear us apart first. Oh, we could try to fight, but we’ll be more likely to hurt one another than we would be to hurt one of them.”

We walked in silence for a few seconds.

An idea was shaping itself in my head. Not very promising, but better than nothing.

“Do you think Alec is a very good fighter?” I asked. “Aside from what he can do, I mean. If he had to fight without his gift. I wonder if he’s ever even tried...”

Edward glanced at me sharply. “What are you thinking?”

I looked straight ahead. “Well, he probably can’t do that to me, can he? If what he does is like Aro and Jane and you. Maybe... if he’s never really had to defend himself... and I learned a few tricks—”

“He’s been with the Volturi for centuries,” Edward cut me off, his voice abruptly panicked. He was probably seeing the same image in his head that I was: the Cullens standing helpless, senseless pillars on the killing field—all but me. I’d be the only one who could fight. “Yes, you’re surely immune to his power, but you are still new in this life, Beau. I can’t make you that strong a fighter in a few weeks. I’m sure he’s had training.”

“Maybe, maybe not. It’s the one thing I can do that no one else can. Even if I can just distract him for a while—” Could I last long enough to give the others a chance?

“Please, Beau,” Edward said through his teeth. “Let’s not talk about this.”

“Be reasonable.”

“I will try to teach you what I can, but please don’t make me think about you sacrificing yourself as a diversion—” He choked and didn’t finish.

I nodded. I would keep my plans to myself, then. First Alec and then, if I was miraculously lucky enough to win, Jane. If I could only even things out—remove the Volturi’s overwhelming offensive advantage. Maybe then there was a chance... My mind raced ahead. What if I wasable to distract or even take them out? Honestly, why would either Jane or Alec ever have needed to learn battle skills? I couldn’t imagine petulant little Jane surrendering her advantage, even to learn.

If I was able to kill them, what a difference that would make.

“I have to learn everything. As much as you can possibly cram into my head in the next month,” I murmured.

He acted as if I hadn’t spoken.

Who next, then? I might as well have my plans in order so that, if I did live past attacking Alec, there would be no hesitation in my strike. I tried to think of another situation where my thick skull would give me an advantage. I didn’t know enough about what the others did. Obviously, fighters like the huge Felix were beyond me. I could only try to give Emmett his fair fight there. I didn’t know much about the rest of the Volturi guard, besides Demetri…

My face was perfectly smooth as I considered Demetri. Without a doubt, he would be a fighter. There was no other way he could have survived so long, always at the spear point of any attack. And he must always lead, because he was their tracker—the best tracker in the world, no doubt. If there had been one better, the Volturi would have traded up. Aro didn’t surround himself with second best.

If Demetri didn’t exist, then we could run. Whoever was left of us, in any case.

And... if Demetri didn’t exist, then Alice and Jasper could be safe forever. Is that what Alice had seen? That part of our family could continue? The two of them, at the very least.

Could I begrudge her that?

“Demetri...,” I said.

“Demetri is mine,” Edward said in a hard, tight voice. I looked at him quickly and saw that his expression had turned violent.

“Why?” I whispered.

He didn’t answer at first. We were to the river when he finally murmured, “For Alice. It’s the only thanks I can give her now for the last fifty years.”

So his thoughts were in line with mine.

I heard Jacob’s heavy paws thudding against the frozen ground. In seconds, he was pacing beside me, his dark eyes focused on mine.

I nodded to him once, then returned to my questions. There was so little time.

“Edward, why do you think Alice told us to ask Elena about the Volturi? Has she been in Italy recently or something? What could she know?”

“Elena knows everything when it comes to the Volturi. I forgot you didn’t know. She used to be one of them.”

Jacob growled beside me.

“What?” I demanded, in my head picturing the beautiful dark-haired woman at our wedding wrapped in a long, ashy cloak.

Edward’s face was softer now—he smiled a little. “Elena is a very gentle person. She wasn’t entirely happy with the Volturi, but she respected the law and its need to be upheld. She felt she was working toward the greater good. She doesn’t regret her time with them. But when she found Carmen, she found her place in this world. They are very similar people, both very compassionate for vampires.” He smiled again. “They met Taras and his family, and they never looked back. They are well suited to this lifestyle. If they’d never found Taras, I imagine they would have eventually discovered a way to live without human blood on their own.”

The pictures in my head were jarring. I couldn’t make them match up. A compassionate Volturi soldier?

Edward glanced at Jacob and answered a silent question. “No, she wasn’t one of their warriors, so to speak. She had a gift they found convenient.”

Jacob must have asked the obvious follow-up question.

“Elena has an instinctive feel for the gifts of others—the extra abilities that some vampires have,” Edward told him. “She could give Aro a general idea of what any given vampire was capable of just by being in proximity with him or her. This was helpful when the Volturi went into battle. Elena could warn them if someone in the opposing coven had a skill that might give them some trouble. That was rare; it takes quite a skill to even inconvenience the Volturi for a moment. More often, the warning would give Aro the chance to save someone who might be useful to him. Elena’s gift works even with humans, to an extent. She has to really concentrate with humans, though, because the latent ability is so nebulous. Aro would have her test the people who wanted to join, to see if they had any potential. Aro was sorry to see Elena go.”

“They let her go?” I asked. “Just like that?”

His smile was darker now, a little twisted. “The Volturi aren’t supposed to be the villains, the way they seem to you. They are the foundation of our peace and civilization. Each member of the guard chooses to serve them. It’s quite prestigious; they all are proud to be there, not forced to be there.”

I frowned, troubled by this.

“They’re only alleged to be heinous and evil by the criminals, Beau.”

“We’re not criminals.”

Jacob huffed in agreement.

“They don’t know that.”

“Do you really think we can make them stop and listen?”

Edward hesitated just the tiniest moment and then shrugged. “If we find enough friends to stand beside us. Maybe.”

If. I suddenly felt the urgency of what we had before us today. Edward and I both started to move faster, breaking into a run. Jacob caught up quickly.

“Taras shouldn’t be too much longer,” Edward said. “We need to be ready.”

How to be ready, though? We arranged and rearranged, thought and rethought. Have me in full view? Or hidden at first? Jacob in the room? Or outside? He’d told his pack to stay close but invisible. Should he do the same?

In the end, Jacob—in his human form again—and I waited around the corner from the front door in the dining room, sitting at the big polished table. Jacob sat a few chairs from me; he wanted space in case he had to phase quickly.

Though I was glad to have Jacob nearby, it made me feel useless. It reminded me that in a fight with mature vampires, I was no more than an easy target; I didn’t know how to protect myself.

I tried to remember Taras, Kate, Carmen, and Elena from the wedding. Their faces were murky in my ill-lit memories. I only knew they were beautiful, two blondes and two brunettes. I couldn’t remember if there was any kindness in their eyes.

Edward leaned motionlessly against the back-window wall, staring toward the front door. It didn’t look like he was seeing the room in front of him.

We listened to the cars zooming past out on the freeway, none of them slowing.

“I really made everything as difficult as I possibly could, didn’t I?” I murmured, mostly to myself.

“What do you mean, Beau?” Jacob asked, though he was looking towards the front room. Edward’s eyes locked on to me.

“If I had just let Edward and Carlisle change me as soon as I got sick…”

“Beau, love, you can’t know how that would have changed things.” Edward argued.

“But I’d be a full vampire, the Volturi wouldn’t be confused about what I was.” I countered.

“Maybe, but I wouldn’t have stuck around.” Jacob frowned. “I wouldn’t be here with you.”

“But you’d be safe!” I insisted. “They wouldn’t be coming after you or the rest of the pack.”

“Unless Sam changed his mind and attacked the Cullens for breaking the treaty—or if I had gone ballistic.” He frowned, watching me carefully.

“Jake, I can’t see how this is anything but my fault.”

“No,” Jacob and Edward said at the same time, but before they could argue further, we heard the sound we’d been waiting for: the slowing of an engine on the freeway, the tires moving from pavement to soft dirt.

Edward darted around the corner to stand waiting by the door. Jacob and I stared at each other across the table, desperation on our faces.

The car moved quickly through the woods, faster than Charlie or Sue drove. We heard it pull into the meadow and stop by the front porch. Four doors opened and closed. They didn’t speak as they approached the door. Edward opened it before they could knock.

“Edward!” a male voice enthused.

“Hello, Taras. Kate, Elena, Carmen.” Three murmured hellos.

“Carlisle said he needed to talk to us right away,” the first voice said, Taras. I could hear that they all were still outside. I imagined Edward in the doorway, blocking their entrance. “What’s the problem? Trouble with the werewolves?”

Jacob rolled his eyes.

“No,” Edward said. “Not precisely at least. Our truce with the werewolves is stronger than ever.”

A woman chuckled.

“Aren’t you going to invite us in?” Taras asked. And then he continued without waiting for an answer. “Where’s Carlisle?”

“Carlisle had to leave.”

There was a short silence.

“What’s going on, Edward?” Taras demanded.

“If you could give me the benefit of the doubt for just a few minutes,” he answered. “I have something difficult to explain, and I’ll need you to be open-minded until you understand.”

“Is Carlisle all right?” a female voice asked anxiously. Elena.

“None of us is all right, Elena,” Edward said, and then he patted something, maybe Elena’s shoulder. “But physically, Carlisle is fine.”

“Physically?” Taras asked sharply. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that my entire family is in very grave danger. But before I explain, I ask for your promise. Listen to everything I say before you react. I am begging you to hear me out.”

A longer silence greeted his request. Through the strained hush, Jacob and I stared wordlessly at each other. His russet lips paled.

“We’re listening,” Taras finally said. “We will hear it all before we judge.”

“Thank you, Taras,” Edward said fervently. “We wouldn’t involve you in this if we had any other choice.”

Edward moved. We heard four sets of footsteps walk through the doorway. Someone sniffed. “I knew those werewolves were involved,” Taras muttered.

“Yes, and they’re on our side. Again.”

The reminder silenced Taras.

“Where’s your Beau?” one of the other female voices asked. “How is he?”

“He’ll join us shortly. He’s well, thank you.” Edward hesitated, minutely. “He’s taken to immortality with amazing finesse.”

“Tell us about the danger, Edward,” Taras said quietly. “We’ll listen, and we’ll be on your side, where we belong.”

Edward took a deep breath. “I’d like you to witness for yourselves first. Listen—in the other room. What do you hear?”

It was quiet, and then there was movement.

“Just listen first, please,” Edward said.

“A werewolf, I assume. I can hear his heart,” Taras said.

“What else?” Edward asked.

There was a pause.

“What is that other beat?” Kate or Carmen asked. “It’s so slow…”

“Yes, and remember how distinct it is—how different. Now, what do you smell? Besides the werewolf.”

“Is there a human here?” Elena whispered.

“No,” Taras disagreed. “It’s not human… but… closer to human than the rest of the scents here. What is that, Edward? It’s… almost familiar. Like I’ve smelled it before.”

“You have, Taras. But what else can you discern from that scent?”

A pause.

“It’s more human than we are…” Taras said slowly, “but it isstill like us in some ways.”

“Now, please, Taras, pleaseremember to listen. Throw away your preconceived notions.”

“I promised you I would listen, Edward.”

“All right, then. Beau? Please come here.”

My legs felt strangely numb, but I knew that feeling was all in my head. I forced myself not to hold back, not to move sluggishly, as I got to my feet and walked the few short feet to the corner. The heat from Jacob’s body flamed close behind me as he shadowed my steps.

I took one step into the bigger room and then froze, unable to force myself farther forward. I took a deep breath.

I thought I’d prepared myself for their reaction. For accusations, for shouting, for the motionlessness of deep stress.

Taras staggered back a few steps as he looked me over, confusion overwhelming his expression. Kate narrowed her eyes. Elena moved slightly in front of Carmen, holding her arms out protectively.

“Congrats, you freaked out the vampires,” I heard Jacob tease under his breath.

Edward put his arm around me. “Now before you jump to conclusions—” he began.

“What’s going on here, Edward?” Taras exclaimed. “Are you trying to test the Volturi? Carlisle told us you needed to change him!”

“What’s… wrongwith him?” Kate’s narrowed eyes were focused like lasers on me.

“Edward this isn’t wise.” Elena sighed.

“Wait,” Edward said, his voice harder now. “Remember what you hear, what you smell. Now look at what you can see.”

“I see a human!” Taras snapped back.

“Taras,” Edward said sharply, “Listen to how slow his heartbeat is! Think about his scent! And look at him!”

“His heart…” Carmen whispered, peering around Elena’s shoulder.

“He’s not a full vampire, no,” Edward said, answering an unspoken thought and directing his attention toward Carmen’s more open expression. “But he’s half-vampire.”

The four vampires stared at him like he was speaking a language none of them knew.

“Hear me.” Edward’s voice shifted into a smooth velvet tone of persuasion. “Beau was very sick—he was dying. Carlisle didn’t not believe he would survive the transformation. When we finally did attempt to change him…” Edward paused, only for a briefest second, “Something happened. Beau awoke as you see him now. Half-vampire and half-human.”

Taras’s mouth was hanging open, he didn’t seem aware of it.

“Edward, I don’t understand.” Elena was shaking her head.

“You hear his heart, don’t you? It’s too slow for a human. His scent, it’s human and vampire.” Edward said as calmly as he could manage.

“I’ve never heard of such a thing,” Elena said. Her shoulders were still stiff, her expression cold.

“Come now, Elena. Open your mind.”

It was Carmen who responded to Edward’s words. She stepped around Elena, ignoring her half-articulated protest, and walked carefully to stand right in front of me. She examined me carefully, taking in every detail.

“Your eyes have always been beautiful,” she said in a low, calm voice, “but now they almost glow with an inner light, don’t they?” And then, as if she could not help herself, she smiled.

“Thank you,” I breathed.

They all glanced at each other at the sound of my voice.

“May I?” Carmen held out a hand toward my face.

I nodded once.

She gently placed a hand on my cheek, her head tilted slightly to the side. “You are warm, but… too cold for a human.” She leaned in closer and sniffed. “Your heart beats, but I smell no blood in you—not blood I would desire, at least.”

“What?” Taras demanded, coming closer. “How?”

Elena approached now. Reaching out her hand, “Please?” she glanced down at my own hand, her expression still cold.

I put my hand in hers, she felt my skin, examined my face. “Ah,” she nodded. “How very strange. But I see now. You are not human, not strictly speaking.”

“How did this happen?” Kate asked, coming closer now.

“When I was dying,” I answered, “I needed a blood transfusion.”

“We had few options,” Edward continued, “So we took a chance on a theory.” His eyes darted over to Jacob.

“You used the werewolf’s blood?” Taras’s voice was shocked.

“Hey.” Jacob grumbled.

“Jacob and his people possess advanced healing, we hoped that this would help Beau—and it did. It made him stronger. But the werewolves’ blood is not compatible with our venom. The end result…” Edward tightened his arm around me.

“A half-vampire.” Elena whispered.

“Will the Volturi accept this?” Taras asked Elena.

“He is no longer a mortal,” Elena replied. “If anything, he would be better adept at hiding the secret of the immortals than any of us.”

“They’d be confused.” Kate added. “But they’d understand, I’m sure.”

“So what is this grave danger you warned us of?” Taras asked. “Surely, you’re concerned about how they will react. The Volturi would be cautious but why—”

“The Volturi have been told that Beau is still human, and they’ve been informed of our friendship with the werewolves.” Edward answered, darkly.

The four vampires looked panicked now.

“The Volturi will not honor a truce with werewolves, Edward.” Elena’s voice was grave. “Believe me, I know.”

“We had intended to send Beau alone to meet with the Volturi. His thoughts are protected from Aro and so Beau could hide the wolves’ involvement.”

“But who would do this to you?” Taras was angry now. “Why?”

“When Ivan saw Beau that day in the mountains,” Edward explained. “Beau hadn’t hunted for several weeks. He appears more human when he doesn’t hunt, and he had Jacob with him.”

Kate hissed, her eyes narrowing to slits. “Ivan did this? To you? To Carlisle? Ivan?”

“No,” Taras whispered. “Someone else…”

“Alice saw him go to them,” Edward said. I wondered if the others noticed the way he winced just slightly when he spoke Alice’s name.

“How could he do this thing?” Elena asked of no one.

“Imagine if you had seen Beau, looking even more human than he does now. Imagine if you knew the Volturi demanded he be changed.” Edward said.

“When Ivan saw me, I was telling Jacob how happy I was that everything worked out—that I could stay in Forks, still be around my human family and friends.”

Taras and Kate’s eyes widened slightly as understanding began to dawn on them. The memory of their mother who refused to let go of her human life bringing pain into their expressions.

“Jacob changed into his wolf form when he sensed Ivan and Ivan didn’t wait for our explanation.” Edward continued.

Taras’s eyes tightened. “No matter what he thought—what he might have felt… You are our family.”

“There’s nothing we can do about Ivan’s choice now. It’s too late. Alice gave us a month.”

Both Taras’s and Elena’s heads cocked to one side. Kate’s brow furrowed.

“So long?” Elena asked.

“They are all coming. That must take some preparation.”

Elena gasped. “The entire guard?”

“Not just the guard,” Edward said, his jaw straining tight. “Aro, Caius, Marcus. Even the wives.”

Shock glazed over all their eyes.

“Impossible,” Elena said blankly.

“I would have said the same two days ago,” Edward said.

Elena scowled, and when she spoke it was nearly a growl. “But that doesn’t make any sense. Why would they put themselves and the wives in danger?”

“It doesn’t make sense from that angle. Alice said there was more to this than just punishment for what they think we’ve done. She thought you could help us.”

“More than punishment? But what else is there?” Elena started pacing, stalking toward the door and back again as if she were alone, her eyebrows furrowed as she stared at the floor.

“Where are the others, Edward? Carlisle and Alice and the rest?” Taras asked.

Edward’s hesitation was almost unnoticeable. He answered only part of her question. “Looking for friends who might help us.”

Taras leaned toward him, holding his hands out in front of him. “Edward, no matter how many friends you gather, we can’t help youwin. We can only die with you. You must know that. Of course, perhaps the four of us deserve that after what Ivan has done now, after how we’ve failed you in the past—for his sake that time as well.”

Edward shook his head quickly. “We’re not asking you to fight and die with us, Taras. You know Carlisle would never ask for that.”

“Then what, Edward?”

“We’re just looking for witnesses. If we can make them pause, just for a moment. If they would let us explain…” He touched my cheek. “Prove that Beau has been changed, or at least that we did our best to change him. Explain that the wolves present no immediate danger to them. Champion the Volturi to show us some mercy.”

Taras nodded slowly. “Do you think they will listen?”

“I don’t know. If Ivan had only given us a chance to explain before going to the Volturi we may have been able to avoid this entirely.”

“Beau still would have had to convince the Volturi his change was… satisfactory.” Kate raised an eyebrow.

“Beau,” Elena said quietly, still pacing, “is a rare creature. Aro would not risk destroying anything so unique without pause.”

“We can witness to the quality of our family.” Carmen finally said in a decided tone. “We can add our voices to yours. The Volturi are strict, but they are not without mercy.”

“Without mercy…” Elena repeated, still distant.

“Yes, we can witness for you,” Taras said. “Certainly that much. We will consider what more we might do.”

“Taras,” Edward protested, hearing more in his thoughts than there was in his words, “we don’t expect you to fight with us.”

“If the Volturi won’t pause to listen to our witness, if they will not show mercy, we cannot simply stand by,” Taras insisted. “Of course, I should only speak for myself.”

Kate snorted. “Do you really doubt me so much, brother?”

Taras smiled widely at her. “It is a suicide mission, after all.”

Kate flashed a grin back and then shrugged nonchalantly. “I’m in.”

“I, too, will do what I can do protect you all,” Carmen agreed. “Do not be so troubled, Beau.” She leaned forward and kissed my cheek.

“Thank you, all of you.” I said quietly.

For a moment I thought that maybe what we were attempting might be possible. Maybe we would be shown mercy by our enemies.

And then I remembered that Alice had left us, and my hope vanished as quickly as it had appeared.

[khorosvein]

@lifelirius​ said: Hey so what if our muses had a whole ass baby

( i will go absolutely wi ld r e y )

Name: Natalia “ Nana ” Arlene Fraldarius  Gender: Cis Female

General Appearance: At first glance, she looks much more like her father, having both his hair ( which she keeps well groomed and long so she can dress it up with random hair ornaments ) and eye color. Her skin tone is slightly tan. She’s more on the shorter side when it comes to height with a frame similar to her mother’s -- more-or-less lithe. As far as the physical is concerned, her charm is in her youthful and bright appearance ; she comes off as more approachable and cheerful in comparison to most other people. You’ll find her most of the time running around in her dresses and formal wear, and she doesn’t leave her room without at least some kind of ribbon or ornament in her hair ( a lot of which she’s taken to designing and making herself ). 

Personality: Natalia gives off a warm, cheerful impression to others. Although she enjoys spending time with people and socializing, she prefers to do things on her own without help from others and might become frustrated if people attempt to push their thoughts / decisions onto her. She might come across as somewhat ditzy and someone who doesn’t pay attention, but that’s not the case at all. She’s pretty perceptive and calculating, which is advantageous in social situations when paired with her ability to be well-mannered and charming, especially related to the nobility and the court. It also might seem she has plenty of friends by how energetically she interacts with people, but she actually only has a couple people she would consider herself close with ( which can make her feel rather lonely but she won’t admit it ).

  She doesn’t get emotional frequently; she’s not a person who is prone to outbursts or displays of anything above mild frustration / sadness. It’s often difficult for her to acknowledge and deal with her own feelings and internal conflicts, and she can even be averse to confronting negative emotions and situations. When it comes to other people’s feelings, she’s surprisingly receptive and comforting despite her own personal difficulty. 

  Natalia adores physical affection; it’s not odd to see her initiating it. She actually doesn’t particularly enjoy anything related to the military, including training, but she’s intelligent and disciplined enough to study it anyway. But she definitely has more passion for being someone involved in politics. 

Special Talents: The personality section was already too long to add it to but she’s actually a fashionista. You’d think that she’d be into the same things that either Felix or Mera are into given how dedicated both of them can be, but while she studies them, she’s not overly interested in them. I mentioned before in the appearance section that she can make hair ornaments but she can also make outfits from scratch. She keeps journals upon journals of designs; she’s really knowledgeable about the details of creating clothing and accessories. 

  Going off that, she’s a fantastic artist, particularly in watercolors and pastels. She gives away her works as gifts. Her parents have the most gifts, of course ( including any other handmade gifts like clothes ). 

  Magic / Lances > Bows > Swords. 

Who they like better: I think she likes to spend more time with Felix. Like the moment she enters that room she doesn’t give a damn about anything but spending time with her father. 

Who they take after more: Physically ? Probably Felix. Personality ? More like Mera. 

Personal Head canon(s): 

“ Nana ” is a nickname for her because when she was little she had some trouble saying her own name, so when people asked her for it she would always just say “ Nana ” to make it easier for her. It just stuck so : ) 

  She had a tendency to follow her father around. A lot. Just to get him to spend time with her. ( She doesn’t like training but if he’s practicing she’ll ask if he can help her with it. )

  She’s a Capricorn mmmm oh my god. 

  Knows lots about Duscur. You know Mera would not let all that knowledge and culture die out without passing it down to her child. Natalia knows as much about it as Mera does ; she can even make Duscur clothes ( which she gives to either her mother or Dedue )

Face Claim: