#commet if you want an art blog I guess?

[lovelypurplefox]

I need a break. [please don’t reblog].

TLDR: The Walking Wake Tera Raid had me frustrated and angry (it’s why I rarely play video games) that I’m keeping away from it and social media (because one I might feel jealous if I see someone with it and two seeing other fanartists online last night had made me depressed and sad that I’m keeping away from fanart to focus more on original art and voiceovers stuff). I’ll be active on Friday just to post gifs on the next PKMN episode if I can. For now, college and other stuff that makes me happy.

Sigh…. this is why I rarely play video games. I’m try not to vent on this blog.. but I have to just to release my frustration.

Earlier, I was excited to do the legendary raid battle (Walking Wake) that Pokémon Presents had announced. I almost had him… but the timer was up. He was on low… red health. I kept trying with my Gardevoir (holding a clear amulet to prevent my attack from being lowered), using clear mind or double team and then thunderbolt… but he just kept spamming that hydro steam move. It made me boiling angry. And then the shields. I almost had him… three times.

I wish I had friends to play with but sadly, I don’t have Nintendo Switch Online and I refuse to pay for it. I guess the internet was right on 5-star raids being difficult on solo. I’m trying to get my Gardevoir on lv. 100… but still. The NPC’s Pokémon kept fainting. The long painful animations, getting burned, the text… are time wasters (I even turned off my Switch and the clock was still running when the raid started). No wonder I’m hearing some people saying that the Tera Raids aren’t great. In Sw/Sh, I remember getting angry at a G-Max Duraldon raid, but luckily caught him (I used to have a video of me beating him on my channel but I deleted it cause of copyright claim on a song I was using and I was mostly talking over it; I’m not reuploading it and I didn’t want to mute the song). That moment made me avoid raid battles in that game and this Walking Wake fight makes me want to avoid tera raids. I wanted to participate in the Greninja one, but because I was behind in the game, I missed it + I knew it would be so tough due to it being a 7-star. I almost was gonna ruin my controller.

My dad heard me shouting madly and we had a talk. I kept telling myself to calm down and take a break but I really wanted to defeat Walking Wake and catch him before March 12th. I know that I have enough time. That Hydro Steam move is gonna haunt me. I’m still a bit shaky. If I go online and check my timeline (especially Twitter), I’m gonna see someone who had caught the mon and I will feel jealous. I’m taking a break and I have plans on returning but I have some college work to do. Also… I would draw the new mons and post them on my sideblog wimbearn, but… I feel like stepping away from fanart. Why? Last night, I was looking at some Digimon stuff and I saw some talented fanartists and read commets of other people appreciating their art and getting commissioned. It made me jealous, sad, and depressed. I was almost about to tear up because as a small artist myself, it’s hard for me to get commissions (put them out there) and to share my talented art with others; I have done 7 last year. I put away my phone, and went to bed. I rather focus on my own original art and characters (if you saw on my sideblog, I shared a Wordpress blog post on my 100% original comic completion).

The reason why I rarely play video games is because I feel anger… and I try not to. It depends on the game. If it’s Animal Crossing, I’m fine. But RPGs like Pokémon or platformers, no. I have seen videos of streamers get mad at video games and I had laughed at them (I used to watch popular Youtubers and stuff like Twitch streamers but I’ve stepped away from it)… but I don’t want to feel like them and I don’t want to be that type of person. I remember getting mad at at a Super Monkey Ball game on the Wii as a kid and my mom punished me. I’m trying to be a positive person, trying to change.

I’m sorry, guys. I feel like stepping away from Pokémon… and maybe social media. I can’t get into hype anymore. I can’t even get into big fandoms that much. I can’t even make more fanart cause I’m losing motivation. It’s hard. I’m almost gonna be in the voiceover community, and maybe I’ll do some dubs and stuff to make myself feel better, but for now: I need a break.

I hope you understand. I’m gonna do the tera raid thing one more time and I’ll take breaks when I need it, but I’m gonna mostly step away from it. I can’t do this. If I succeed, then I’m done with Pokémon Scarlet (although I need to catch the 4 legendaries and the second Koraidon). I’ll do something that will make me happy. Maybe I’ll focus on more of my own original art (some I will share on my sideblog as long as it’s not my important OCs from my own comic) and do more voice acting.

Friday, I’ll be posting gifs of the next Pokémon episode on this blog if I can. I need a break from social media, from the hype, and from the fandoms that I love. Hype on something I love causes me to frequently talk about it (like today’s PKMN Presents) and has my adrenaline pumping, but I’m trying to control it and stay away from it; I know that it’s not a race to be the first person to talk about something. Also, yesterday, I made a post typing out thoughts and stuff on my Wordpress blog: wimbearn.wordpress.com

[ask-the-freelance-mercs]

Reasons Why I Probably Won’t be Returning to This Blog Anytime Soon.

I want to start this off by apologizing for disappearing without a trace for so long. No matter how busy I was, I should of at least left anyone who was still interested with some kind of idea where I had gone to. I just felt like it would have been cheap to pop in here with nothing to give to you guys, but seeing as 2018 will be upon us soon, I feel like it’s only fair to be honest with you guys. This blog is most likely going to remain inactive for a number of reasons that I will be getting into under the cut. 

1. School

My second semester of college will be starting on the 8th of January and if it was anything like my first semester, I will be extremely busy with that. I took 5 classes for the fall semester and 5 for the spring in order to meet the requirements for my scholarship, and while I am doing well with that, it is an a lot of work to keep up so many classes. Any free time I had that wasn’t spent working on homework assignments I tried to spend with my friends, or relaxing with video games and youtube videos. Updating this blog was the last thing on my mind, which leads into my next point.

2. Gmod isn’t the fun for me anymore

This is by no means trying to bash any of the gmod artists and bloggers who still remain active. I know you can do amazing things with gmod and all the mods people have made to add hundreds of props and cool effects, however the process just became too tedious for me. While you can do a lot technically with gmod, I wasn’t very proud of anything I was producing despite sometimes spending an hour or more setting up one image. I don’t know if it was a mix of using other people’s assets to make art that made me feel unaccomplished, or just that I wasn’t willing to put as much time into my screenshots to make them look good, but nothing about my work really felt fulfilling to me.

3. Most of the gmod bloggers I started my blog for are no longer active on Tumblr

Again, this is no offense to any active gmod blogs I still follow. I wish you all the best of luck. However, the reason I started my own blog wasn’t really to tell my own story like it should have been, it was mostly to interact with the gmodders I admired. I honestly think my blog was the most fun when I got to do character interactions or just answer silly little asks from my friends. However, all good things come to an end, and most of the blogs I started mine to interact with are gone, no longer update, or are so far and in between updates it just isn’t worth it to try for any interactions. I’m still friends with a few of them personally, but as for blogs, we just haven’t found much of a need to update characters here seeing how limited gmod and Tumblr can be for writing a complex story, which does tie into my next reason for abandoning this blog. 

4. I didn’t know or like where my story was going.

This is entirely my fault for trying to make a blog that was more character driven than story. Interesting characters were only able to get me so far if I didn’t have any engaging situations to put them in. The story my blog ended on with the demons and everything felt rushed out, messy, and nowhere near what I waned it to be. The arcs always ended like lack luster cop outs because they were more heavily driven by character reactions than actual big, impressive moments. Again, that could be attributed to the limitations of gmod, and how big scenes take a long time to pose and render correctly, but I honestly could of put a lot more effort into my writing and scene building to make them more interesting to look at. If I ever did come back to this blog, I would have to overhaul my story. My blog got nowhere near enough asks to run on them alone, so next time I’ll be sure to have some sort of basic story set up  instead of having to craft a crap one last minute to keep the blog alive.

5. What this means for the future of me, this blog, and these characters

To start off, no. I will not be deleting this blog. I think deleting a blog just because you’re done with it is a waste of hours and hours of hard work. The blog isn’t going anywhere in case people want to look back on it, and I still use it to follow other gmod and art blogs for personal reasons. As for my characters, these are the first characters I’ve ever been brave enough to put out to the public so they will always hold a special place in my heart. I keep them alive through interactions with some close friends and in most of my art pieces, since I’ve been getting much more into digital art lately than gmod. Maybe one day I’ll revive them into their own stories, but as for their time here, it’s most likely going to come to an end. I don’t much like roleplaying on Tumblr so I doubt making an rp blog for them would be anymore successful than this blog. I could make an art blog if anyone is interested in keeping up with me, but with school I doubt it’ll be updated very frequently seeing as art isn’t my degree path at the moment., but here’s a few if teasers of what my art looks like currently if anyone is interested.

Doubt I’d make an ask blog out of it or anything, but I suppose it’d be some way to share my work with anyone if they still have any interest. Other than that, I hope everyone has a wonderful 2018, with more ups than they have downs. Sorry I couldn’t leave you with a satisfying conclusion to this blog, but it was never meant to be a grand story driven masterpiece, just a little way to interact and have fun with friends. And it did its job well enough for that, but it’s time I move on to bigger and better things.