#confused aliens is always a fun trope

[theriu]

Everyone was talking about how magenta isn’t real and our brains made it up, but can you imagine how COOL that would be if we encountered aliens who can’t see magenta? And THEY are confused because we keep talking about some mystery color???

Human: (points) That’s magenta.

Alien: Ah, see, we call that chauveltine.

Human: (points at another) And that’s a kind of dark magenta.

Alien: That’s… that jgorgilo… it’s a completely different color—

Human: And THAT one is HOT magenta—

Alien: ???????

Or EVEN BETTER, we humans are able to identify the aliens immediately because they can’t quite get their disguises right, they get something red a LITTLE off and the humans are like, “Oh hey another one, you’re looking very magenta today,” and the alien scientists are just BAFFLED

[feraliminal]

Titan TVman and Beowulf are Basically the Same Character: Why Skibidi Toilet Is Folklore

It’s been a long time since I’ve touched the hellsite (I used to doodle and write dirty fic), but I’m fascinated by the silly toilet men videos, their popularity, and the confusion about their popularity. And because I’m a huge nerd and always want to know why people do things, I wrote something. It’s too long to leave on my Notes app and forget about, and I’m also not letting skibidi toilets anywhere near my serious blog. So I actually came back to Tumblr for this.

(Also the first stupid doodle I’ve done in forever, here’s the original meme.)

Toilet humour is obviously a huge part of why it’s so popular, and imho it’s a poop joke that got bigger than the creator intended it to. Toilets are endlessly amusing, particularly for kids, because learning to manage your waste is essential to being a civilised person but something that no one really wants to do. Some of the first conflicts between kids and their parents are often around cleanliness and potty training, and as we get older, the toilet is one of the few places where we’re first alone, particularly if we share a bedroom with siblings. Childlore and fiction about childhood is full of toilets: bullies that strike in school toilets, toilet ghosts like Bloody Mary and Hanako-san, people who died on the loo, and rats or spiders that bite your bum. It’s a classic example of a liminal space that looks mundane but could be full of scary shit.

So that’s my first smart theory, Skibidi Toilet is a contemporary haunted toilet story with something to do with dirt and discomfort vs tech. Clever theories about symbolism are fun and I think symbolism that feels relevant and familiar might be why something first attracts someone’s attention, but I don’t think it can explain the thing having fandom.

The only thing people love as much as poop jokes is stories about cool guys having punch ups, and there’s plenty of that as well. Visually and thematically, Skibidi uses all the tropes that we love in serious popular media - fights, explosions, monsters, giants, noise, the aforementioned cool robots. Swap out skibidi toilets for alien invaders, and cameramen with plungers for cyborgs with swords, and we’d have a respectable alien apocalypse story that’s identical to five other summer blockbusters. But as it is, it’s so ridiculous that it can only be a silly little internet video.

There’s a video by MatPat making a convincing argument that it’s actually about the conflict between independent content creators and the conventional media industry. But again, I think it’s also probably only indirectly what’s turning curious views into millions of subscriptions, especially since the earlier netlore was pretty niche. I think what viewers are picking up on is the dissonance between cool robots, apocalypse horror, and silly toilets, evidenced by most of the comments on YouTube being variation of “why is this actually good”. It’s got the same vibe as other stuff I’d classify as creepypasta-style or meme-style horror: Five Nights at Freddy’s, Among Us, Homestuck, and so on. In meme horror, there is an in-universe threat to characters that’s not played for laughs. However, something like a ridiculous gimmick, a parody of pop culture, or a dissonantly cute art style makes it clear that adult viewers who understand it as fiction don’t have to respect the threat.

The line between feared and respected has always been thin. A cool example of this is the word aglæca in Beowulf and other Old English texts. Aglæca is a debated word because it’s mainly used to describe monsters and demons, but is sometimes used to describe heroes and saints. Both the human hero Beowulf and his monster opponent Grendel are called aglæca. Based on this use and its etymology, some medieval studies scholars think it means something more like an uncanny and powerful outsider. I think a big part of meme horror’s appeal is that it’s still got heroes who are more or less serious characters fighting serious battles. We can respect the characters and their struggles even if we don’t fear the absurd stuff. I’ve chosen Titan TVman for my silly title because they’re the character that best embodies the “uncanny hero” aspect for me, but tbh I think that most meme horror heroes/anti-heroes seem to be these character types.

We know that enjoying horror fiction helps some people manage anxiety and fear, and comedy horror can help us laugh at fear. With the retained seriousness besides the playfulness, meme horror might be more beneficial than basic serious or comedy horror as a comfortably uncomfortable middle ground between the two. Cringe is currently having a cultural moment too, where concerns about and celebrations of being cringe are everywhere, so it might also give us a way of exploring and processing our feelings about embarrassment as well as fear.

Memes, and therefore meme horror, are very amenable to being collaboratively and spontaneously adapted and spread by regular folk. They’re a new form of folklore, essentially. They address stuff that’s relevant to the lives of regular folk, including ugly and uncomfortable things. There’s even a theory that the culture of the very online has began an era of “secondary orality” where how we spread stories on the internet replicates how we used to spread folk stories by word-of-mouth. Secondary orality is a double-edged sword, as it can build creative and supportive communities, but also spreads conspiracy theories and hate. No wonder some of us might not be having our needs fulfilled by regular horror fiction, if we’re facing the bad kind of secondary orality as well as everything else that’s going on in the world. (More allegories! An increasingly absurd and hostile world is another theme in Skibidi Toilet.)

The 1938 book Homo Ludens argued that doing things just for fun has defined features and benefits: play gives us freedom to express ourselves, it’s separate from everyday life, it allows us to construct new worlds with new rules, and it’s never compulsory or for profit. When we’re bombarded by media that’s designed to extract the maximum amount of profit from us, engaging with mainstream entertainment might sometimes feel not as playful or as voluntary. But by being a bit cringe, meme horror retains the appearance of being indie and just for fun even if it becomes obscenely popular.

So, for me, this is what Skibidi Toilet is about. It’s about new folklore playing the same role as old folklore, even if it looks like silly toilet men videos, because we’re essentially the same people as our ancestors telling monster stories around the fire.

[ashes-in-a-jar]

Hi! I was just wondering, what are your thoughts on episode 100 of The Sheridan Tapes?

You’re the reason I started listening and I always went to read your post after finishing an episode, I’m kinda confused by it honestly.

(Also I only just listened to it today (April 1st) so I was surprised when they mentioned it being April Fool’s Day cause it came out on Friday.

Sorry it took me a bit to respond to this, I have a few thoughts though, not sure if I will manage to sort through them. Mostly good!

First off what a nice thing to have a horror podcast that has a happy ending for most of its characters! They sure went all out with the polycule bit even without Ned lol. I did like how some of the chemistry Rob and Peter had in previous seasons paid off with that ending! Although some elements of it felt like they came out of nowhere? At least not in a way I noticed... Either way good for them!

The April 1st thing was fun timing to end the story! Love that it coincided (kinda) with irl date.

Although the actual date they saved the world was April 1st 2020 which was at the height of the beginning of the pandemic... from the frying pan into the fire amirite? XD

Sam becoming a "documentarian" for Anna's and Maria's podcast was a nice touch, and a jab at the "archivist" trope lol

I find it interesting that he decided to do it and kinda stick to the past? It feels like he hasn't managed to move on like the others, still stuck on maybe one day returning to Allen and the good old days. I am happy that Jerry took him under his wing, I wonder what their relationship is. I found it really touching that he asked Maria and Anna if it's okay to hug them, like he's used to asking permission from living with Sam which was so 🥺🥺🥺

Sam being anxious around a lot of people and then being understanding and accommodating was really touching in general.

I don't know how I feel about the direction Ren took, the whole Source revelation rattled them I would think they would do something about it rather than continue being part of a system that they ended up clashing over... I'm not even sure how ISFA is different from ISPHA? I would have liked to see them working on something fungi related, maybe with Amanita, who is MIA from the finale...

I would like a sequel about Sam going to rescue Ned (of course) and Ren dealing with aliens in space (a story thread that was left unresolved)

And definitely hear some of Rob's antiquing vlog shenanigans xD

Anyway, might have some more thoughts and something more cohesive to say about it all but overall I loved the podcast and enjoyed the ending, it tied up a lot of the story so neatly and managed to do it with minimal casualties and with care for every character

To say I cringed when the singing started in the end would be an understatement but good for them embracing it together xD

[athetos]

I’ve been very low energy and haven’t been able to play live a live much this week so I’ve only gotten the oersted ending so far but thoughts:

Shifu’s chapter was much better than I anticipated, I actually didn’t know about the twist even though it was implying that ending, well done, though I wished I put all my training into the one character and not relatively even between all three.

Oboromaru’s chapter is the best, loved the influence it seemed to have on Undertale, plus so many secrets! Just had a ton of fun with it, could definitely see myself replaying it. Also, his skill set is fantastic, very versatile and powerful.

Sundown’s chapter was tooooo short i loved it it should have been longer, it was a great change of pace but i also understand why it could only be that long. Never occurred to me i could run and thus spare mad dog which sucks because i really wanted to spare him.

Pogo’s chapter was the most boring… the crafting system was interesting but mostly unnecessary, the not having actual dialogue didn’t entertain me much, relied too much on toilet humor or awooga a woman humor. It was fine but felt too long and the superboss just seems like a “but why??” Situation instead of something that feels more appropriate to the setting + reward.

Cube’s chapter was a mashup of 2001 a space odyssey and alien, 2 of my favorite movies of all time, and while it’s obviously not close to that kind of caliber I still loved it, even if the tropes were pretty standard. I’m just a sucker for scifi horror. Captain square was a cool diversion but I wish there was more combat with cube themself. Characters had me weirdly attached to them even though they’re nothing unique.

Akira’s chapter felt like watching a goofy dark scifi anime and while again it quite obviously didn’t meet the heights of, I don’t know, the actual Akira film, it was still fun, and I liked the characters. Lots of side quests and diversions that were cool they had at all. Had some annoying moments but overall fond of it.

Masaru’s chapter was another nice change of pace, I felt it was one of the easier ones but for an episode that’s all about battles, the battles were entertaining, well, entertaining for fights with your typical fighting game heavily stereotyped fighters.

Oersted’s chapter felt generic at first but kept my attention, characters were great to use in battle so that helped. The demon’s lair was pretty confusing even with the map, but got interesting after that. But then when you’re exiled there’s no marker for where to go and I explored the damn lair in full two more times hoping to stumble upon something until realizing I had to be captured again. Annoying. I feel the ending could have been super cool with oersted becoming odio but the execution was meh, it didn’t make total sense to me and felt a bit out of nowhere, there weren’t really any clues if you ask me, but I’ll give it a pass.

Oersted’s bad ending was very, well, what you would expect for a bad ending, but playing as all the past bosses was a blast. The battles were all very easy which was slightly disappointing but I think the point is you should be overpowered because you’re a giant dinosaur or a dude with a huge ass gun, and you want to feel powerful! Not many games let you play as a boss like that so this was great

In short I think this game was very ahead of its time, fun and creative and I’m so glad it got this remake. As a teen I heard about this game and became very intent to play it, I just felt like it would become one of my favorite games but it always kept falling behind on my backlog so I’m very glad I’m playing the hd version since it adds so many QOL features and the graphics are gorgeous, the music is beautiful, etc. yeah if you like jrpgs and want something that feels fresh and has variety I recommend this game a lot

[cozycryptidcorner]

Classic movies I have watched thus far and are ranked according to:

Monster/alien/robot and human action

If the genders were flipped, would it appeal to me more

Is it so bad it's good or so bad it's bad?

Movies Reviewed in the post:

Barbarella

Voyage to the Planet of Prehistoric Women

The Forbidden Planet

Invasion of the Body Snatchers

Life Force

I Married a Monster From Outer Space

Everything (INCLUDING SPOILERS) so far under the cut:

Barbarella: OK. this one is actually pretty silly. Definitely has aspects that would not be considered "progressive" today that were probably revolutionary at the time. Like I'm sure a woman who had sex with men and enjoyed it would not be labeled as "innocent" the way Barbarella is played to be, but like in the context of the sixties... idk probably was a profoundly intriguing concept. Loved the set and costume designs!!!!!!!!

Rating: 6/10, lots of human/nonhuman action.

Would I enjoy it more if the genders were flipped: Yes, as long as the costumes stayed the same. <3

Not bad. The parts that were dated could even be fun.

Voyage to the Planet of Prehistoric Women: THIS WAS SO BORINGGGGG!!!!!!!! yup there were definitely come prehistoric (????) women there and they were all blond. I was definitely expecting this to be a low key fetish film about the really bad "noble savage" trope but the team from earth doesn't even see the titular prehistoric women. It's just the team from earth dicking around trying to collect samples while the prehistoric women try to secretly run them off by getting their gods to cause harm. Costume designs looked like cheap party city props.

Rating: 1/10, no action at all.

Would I enjoy it more if the genders were flipped: No.

So bad it's bad, full stop.

Forbidden Planet: Actually not too bad. Just disappointed that the aliens had been long dead by the time the humans get there. No alien/human or even robot/human action. GREAT set design (I like the look of old scifi set designs even if they don't look "real" i will always believe in set design superiority over CGI), pretty nice costumes. Very predatory romance between all the men of a military crew and the one human girl and some references how "immodestly" she dresses around them (I am rolling my eyes all the way back to my brain)

Rating: 5/10, interesting concept but no human/nonhuman action

Would I enjoy it more if the genders were flipped: that would be an interesting dynamic

I wouldn't call it "bad," just that I'm definitely not the target demographic.

Invasion of the Body Snatchers: oh i feel the strength of the red scare in this chili's tonight. Very much a "what if the russians invaded our town slowly" deal. No alien fuckery, in fact I'm still VERY confused as to how the switch happens. Because in this film, a pod will grow another human and then take someone's place while they are asleep. BUT in the scene where the main two are running away, when the woman is so tired she falls asleep... she's replaced? okay why grow a pod then. she was fine and then falls asleep accidentally for a few seconds and her humanity is gone but she wasn't replaced.... maybe it made sense in the sixties :/

Rating: 5/10, again. interesting, but no action

Gender flips? No, nothing would change

It's not bad, it's a classic movie for a reason. Pretty solid story line.

Life Force: NOW THIS IS WHAT I'M FUCKING TALKING ABOUT BABYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY SPACE VAMPIRES? VAMPIRES FROM SPACE? But also on the flip side, have you seen that post where it's like "men who write scifi are like here's a cool world building idea and also how much i fucking hate women." That's this. Decent effects, cool idea, but the main character is just... wild. There's a scene where he's sure a space vampire has taken over a random woman and just beats the ever loving christ out of her, unprovoked. Super uncomfortable to watch. You can tell that this is like an example of how some men view attractive women as sirens that "lure" innocent men with their "wicked beauty" and manipulate them. Not a good look! The set designs are cool tho

Rating: 5/10, would have been higher if not for the violence against women :/ there is human/nonhuman action.

Would I like it if the genders were flipped: yeah probably, as long as the domestic abuse undertones were also removed.

So bad? Oh girl they play it 100% straight. This is a movie about vampires that come from space and everyone is giving it one thousand percent effort in their acting. It's not velocirpastor levels of great, but it's a good movie to watch while high with your friends on a friday night.

I Married a Monster from Outer Space: oh girl that cold war red scare strikes again. This is definitely playing on the fears that you might just wake up one day and find out your spouse was a spy for the soviet union.

There is a dog, and the dog does die :(

Rating: 6/10, decent movie with drama and they explicitly sleep together in a very hayes code way

Would I like it if the genders were flipped: No, but the gender rolls should be. I played this up in the 'classics reimagined bisexually' but the guy does not actually malewife very hard

It's not bad. It's also not good.

[egg-emperor]

I hate to ask this, but do other eggman enjoyers... Want him not to be evil? I mean this in the most respectful way, but eggman doesn't have a whole lot going on canonically besides being evil. If someone doesn't like that part what part are they into?

I regret to inform you that it's been a very shockingly controversial aspect of his character in recent years, despite him being the main villain of the series and it confuses and frustrates me to no end lol. I think part of it is because of small things outside of the game canon media, where he has vastly different portrayals and isn't anywhere near as evil. Which is all fine and good for them to like of course but then they dislike and can't accept that the original Eggman in the games has always been pure evil without any genuine good morals and traits, and no chance of redemption. And they'll get mad and judge one's character over those who actually like it.

And as a result of them liking those lesser evil versions of him more, they will attempt to ignore or highly misinterpret Eggman's scenes in the actual games, because he's one of the most unpopular versions for actually being a lot more evil and doing so is the only way they can like him there at all. And if someone actually likes that he's evil and chooses to acknowledge and embrace those things and correct the misinformation instead, they will tell them to stop ruining their fun and accuse them of being a bad person for caring. I've unfortunately been a target of this for appreciating his evil and making passionate analysis and writings based on that.

Eggman has become the subject of a lot of tropes based around giving him redeeming qualities that he doesn't have that doesn't make sense for the character he was established to be and has remained consistently so. The most popular fanon Eggman interpretation is vastly different from the game canon and liking him as he appears in the games and expressing that openly gets you alienated. It's at the point where I'm being kicked out of the fandom by newer fans that have only liked him for as long as the nicer versions and fanon of the character has existed and some older fans that latched onto them while ignoring and misinterpreting game canon.

And yeah you're absolutely right and that's especially wild about it, he doesn't have anything going on canonically in the games that doesn't involve his evil in any way at all. Even if people like his charming funny and casual moments, his evil is still a part of everything he does, it defines him, his personality, his actions, his beliefs, even his humor. He was even given the first name "Ivo" because its pronunciation is supposed to sound like "evil"! So his name is literally "evil" and 99% of what he does on screen in the games is evil - yet that's controversial, disliked by Eggman fans, and it gets fans that actually enjoy it shamed. It's so ironic.

I can't imagine that fans of him enjoy actually consuming the game media much when they don't actually like anything he's doing. And I don't know what they actually want him to do, if not be evil because they want him to become a better person despite everything he does coming from the fact he's evil, his entire character is built around it as the villain. In all the games where he doesn't have an active villainous role, he's just sat there doing nothing. If he somehow stopped being the villain after 30 years then he'd barely be used as a character anymore. I don't think that's worth occasional scenes of nice pure wholesome Eggman for people to coo at.

All of the things that make Eggman so charming, entertaining, and lovable all stem from his evil and it's involved and evident in every aspect of his characteristics and actions. He's a very evil and selfish character that will gladly do terrible things to accomplish his just as evil goals in conquering the world, he's motivated solely by that and even finds sadistic enjoyment in it. The way most the games' adventures even begin is by Eggman kicking it off with another evil scheme. It's a very important part of his character at the very core and it's important to the overall plot in most games, nothing would be the same without it, there'd be no conflict and nothing interesting left.

It saddens me that it's something that's so disliked or ignored by fandom but you know people can be when it comes to villains, they don't like it when they're genuinely evil and don't have good redeeming traits so they can have something to be interested in and feel justified in liking them because they don't like his evil and think it's wrong to enjoy it like I do. But I love seeing Eggman being his best true self as a super evil and dangerous threat and all the thrilling badass scenes that come out of it when he's in action and being a real diabolical bastard, which is 99% of the time he's on screen, and I'll always give it the love and appreciation it deserves! 🥰💜💕

[writingquestionsanswered]

Hi! Do you have any tips on how to make a story (either a new idea or an existing work in progress) more original? I feel like all ideas that I have follow somewhat the same "formula" or structure and I would like to try to work with something different. I don't know if you get what I mean, but for example, how would I make a murder mystery more original when all I can think about is the usual "people died and someone has to find out who did it"

Making Original Stories More Original

Here's the thing... a murder mystery is about figuring out who committed a murder, so "people died and someone has to find out" is literally what the story is about. If you don't want to write a story where someone died and someone else has to figure it out, don't write a murder mystery.

Most stories can be placed into a category, genre, or subgenre. Those categories, genres, and subgenres all have very specific formulas/structures, tropes, and conventions that they follow. That's a good thing, because when readers pick up a particular book, say a romantic urban fantasy, there are very specific things they're looking for in that story. Romance, obviously, an urban setting, and an element of supernatural/magic/both. If someone picks up a story that's marketed as a romantic urban fantasy, and sounds like a romantic urban fantasy, but then it ends up being an espionage thriller set in a series of rural 19th century villages, the reader is going to be very confused.

Instead of trying to vary the genre-expected formulas, tropes, and conventions, look at other things you can do to make your story stand out. Is there a way to follow the tried and true formula, but in an unexpected way? Is there a way you can put a fresh new spin on the usual tropes? Is there a way you can augment or even subvert the typical conventions?

It sometimes helps to look at things like characters, POV, setting, and subplot. For example, the "detective" in murder mysteries tends to actually be a detective, private investigator, journalist, crime writer, or someone close to the victim. Less often, it's a nosy neighbor, a curious blogger, a trio of sleuth-happy 7-year-olds, or some rando who stumbles into the case and falls down the mystery-solving rabbit hole. The POV in murder mysteries tends to be that of the main person trying to solve the crime, but there are other POVs to consider: the POV of the perpetrator, the POV of an accomplice, the POV of someone close to the perpetrator but not entirely in the know, the POV someone close to the detective but on the periphery, or even the POV of the victim (think Christopher Pike's Remember Me or Alice Sebold's The Lovely Bones.) Murder mysteries tend to be set in modern small towns or big cities. Thanks to the popularity of Sherlock Holmes, they're also commonly set in places like Victorian London. What about a murder mystery set in colonial Philadelphia? Or Ancient Rome? Or on a battleship in WWII? The main subplot in a murder mystery tends to be the resolution of a tragedy or mystery in the investigator's life, or sometimes a romance. What if the subplot was an alien invasion that's taking place in the background, but then it turns out the murder is related to the alien invasion? What if the subplot was the political campaign of the investigator's spouse, and then it turned out the murder was related to the political campaign? These are just some examples of how you can change up a murder mystery while still keeping it a murder mystery, and you can do the same thing with stories in any category or genre.

Have fun with it!

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[toku-niko]

thinking about my second experiences with each of the 3 big toku franchises . not first, second bc I was infinitely more confused, hysterical but having a fun time on the second season of these shows i watched . LIKE i do not experience surprise very often but this is truly a brand new medium/ genre (?)

like in my brain I tried to establish tropes n conventions since they’re such big franchises and they’re probably got a formula and they do but it’s always the dumbest little things that get me completely confounded on the second season of these shows i watch . or major things, but how different these shows can truly be from like 30+ seasons of content still amazes me

my brain after watching ryuki and going on to watch ooo which was not only sensory overload , the belt was singing , the villains being the monsters and actualized characters like it was all so new and shocking . secondaries weren’t always established characters? they can just be some random motherfucker ? YOU MEAN THEY JUST SOMETIMES APPEAR AROUND THE EPISODE MARK THEYRE SUPPOSED TO APPEAR AND THERES NO PRIOR HINTS SOMETIMES ??? never getting over first time meeting of accel, who was just some fucking guy that appeared out of nowhere and started shit talking 😭 like BRO . but ooos also totally gaslights you into thinking the secondary is gonna be gotou AND PULLS UP WITH DATE , a man I had never seen ever i had pure confusion for the next several episodes .

im watching orb and ep 7 told me Gai was an ultra ? what the fuck do you mean, i thought there were just hosts like I looked over all the weird stuff thinking he’s just quirky you mean he’s literally a space alien . like this psycho, is that heroic noble race of space alien bfr my friend had told me and I was like 😧 spoilers . it??? wasn’t supposed to??? but how in the world was I, second time viewer who only know about hosts supposed to react to the guy just being an ultra. i still don’t know what juggler is

my first sentai was donbrothers and the reprogramming i had to go through to understand the rest of sentai seasons a regular amount . 6th rangers actually mattered a shit ton . most teams aren’t dysfunctional , most villain groups were monster designs n generals n their boss not some fucking sparkly human alien things . i mean, most of them, weren’t humanoids ! the shock when the teams weren’t actually extreme personalities , only some of them were but they were mostly still human beings . I understand why saruhara’s actor was so confused about the character now, what the fuck is he . i can’t believe they greenlit these characters , inoue is just allowed to do fucking anything

anyway i really enjoy how they’re so fresh everytime, i may not be 100% into all of them but what I can admit is that they’ve been different from each other so much every season I’ve been able to watch n it’s a delight

[carriagelamp]

I’ve had a pretty fun summer of reading so far! I haven’t had as many chances to just zone out with a book as I’d like, but what I have had has been exactly the sort of healing I’ve been needing.

Animorphs: The Message

I know this series has come up on a previous book roundups, but I continue to (very slowly) work through Animorphs. It’s one series that I had never gotten to as a kid — I saw it all over the place, but I found the covers rather unnerving so I never gravitated to it. And after a certain point I simply felt too old. I’m glad I’m finally reading it because Katherine Applegate continues to be an undeniable genius and this series is already knocking my socks off, and I’m only four books in. What’s not to enjoy about genocidal aliens and crushing levels of stress and trauma placed on the backs for five kids who are being ruthlessly hunted but have to try to maintain a sense of normalcy while they attempt to save all of Earth from devastation? And for once, it’s a kid series that actually ADDRESSES how deeply fucked up that all is instead of skating past it. Big fan. And I’ve finally met Ax! I cannot wait for the next book! Heck, I can’t wait til I finally get a book in his POV!

Demon Slayer v3 - 4

I finally know who the is boar-headed guy is! The kids recommending this series to me were all very excited for me to finally meet him and now I have! What an absolute idiot, he’s a delight! Demon Slayer is definitely a bit of a Classic Shounen but it does it so well I can’t even be upset. The main character is such a genuinely enjoyable character, and so far the side characters all have big, amusing personalities, so it’s very appealing, especially when it’s wrapped in such lovely, nostalgic art. (It really does make me think of more old school Inuyasha art rather than what I consider more contemporary manga art... does that make sense? Is anyone else on the same page as me?) Oh, and I would die for his sister. Sibling relationships instead of romantic relationships? Yes PLEASE, not enough series focus on strong sibling bonds.

Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation v1

Wow. This is easily my big gold star book of the month, hands down the best thing I’ve read in a while. I couldn’t put it down! I can see why people have been freaking out about this series and its various adaptations now; I had to go out and buy the next book IMMEDIATELY when I realized I was only fifty pages from the end. I was expecting a much more serious historical style novel, you know the sort with lots of political intrigue and a bit of magic thrown in on the side. I was not expecting something so funny and playful and it’s really stolen my whole heart. Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are such a pair of idiots and I can’t wait to see where things go in book 2.

Haikyu v39 - 41

SO CLOSE TO THE END OF THE SERIES, I CAN’T WAIT! I’m always impressed by how this author manages to keep up tension and engagement through every match, especially one as long as this most recent one, but the four different views on what it means to be a short volleyball player is fantastic, and then Hinata FINALLY running out of stamina and collapsing??? I’ve been waiting for that trope to appear since like book 2 so I nearly SCREAMED when it finally hit! Ah!

The Iron Giant // The Iron Man

This book was originally published as The Iron Man but because of the movie adaptation calling itself The Iron Giant (I believe to avoid confusion with the Marvel character?) that’s what it tends to be published under know. It’s very different than the movie, but both were really good. This book was a bit less emotional than the movie, but it has a very pure, classic, 1950s fun whimsical kid’s novel vibe to it that makes you just feel really cosy and nostalgic. A strange, scary, possibly dangerous robotic man appears from the ocean! What’s it going to do? What can people do to stop it? What will happen when people suddenly need it to save them?

And this specific edition had the COOLEST art and page design, if you go to read it I really recommend getting your hands on a physical copy of this one because it’s SO much fun to read. 

The Iron Woman

The sequel to The Iron Giant that I didn’t know existed. I was trepidatious at first because these sorts of sequels are usually not… great. But straight up? I think I liked this one even more than the first. It deals with environmentalism and capitalism’s effect on the natural environment in shockingly harsh ways. Damn, it had more worthwhile things to say, and pulled less punches, than a lot of modern media when talking about environmental devastation, the massive and all consuming consequences on ecological collapse, and what amounts to the morality of environmental terrorism. The character of the Iron Woman emerges from the depths to share the agonized screams of every animal that’s being impacted by water being made uninhabitable. I highly recommend this book, it was BEAUTIFUL and I would kill for a Ghibli-style adaptation of it.

Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation wins for my favourite book of the month, but only because I’m queer and simple in my pleasures. This book probably deserves it more though -- while the ending was a bit weak, the rest of the book was masterfully and chillingly written in a way that is approachable to children and powerful for adults.

Lore Olympus v1

I’m always here for a Persephone/Hades retelling, and I’d heard a lot of good things about it, so I was excited to give it a read. I have to admit, the beginning was… rocky. The characterization was rather weak and felt like it was mostly built on cliches and half-assed jokes, but by about the halfway mark it felt like it started to come into its own. And that’s not surprising for stories published online, they tend to improve as the creator gets a better sense for their story and characters and craft. I was enjoying it quite a bit by the end and am looking forward to getting my hands on book two.

Minecraft: The Mountain

I was as shocked as anyone that I enjoyed the first book of this Minecraft isekai novel, but what can I say: Max Brooks can write a pretty damn convincing survival novel. The Mountain starts after The Hero has left their island and has  begun their exploration of the bigger world looking for answers and, hopefully, a way home. While the first book is largely built around the character developing understanding and rules for survival and perseverance, this book is about them finally meeting another human and developing a set of rules for how to be able to work and live with someone who may have different priorities and values than they do. They also introduce the nether and a host of updates to the world that keeps The Hero wrongfooted and learning.

I didn’t love this one as much as the first, but it was enjoyable enough. One of the big downsides for me was confirming that The Hero is male. I really admired how the first book left The Hero gender neutral and allowed the reader to imagine themselves or their own characters onto the protagonist. Book two took that away and it was jarring. Still, I’m at least intrigued by the prospect of a third book in the series.

Sasaki and Miyano v1

This was a benignly cute little manga that I bought on a whim because of a recommendation. Honestly, I read it at the beginning of the month and it didn’t stand out in a huge way… there’s not much I have to say about it beyond I enjoyed reading it and will probably read it again at some point now that I own it, but it didn’t really make any waves. I won’t be seeking out book two; it didn’t really do anything that felt memorable or different, but if you want just a cute little, slightly clueless, romance, then it’s worth picking up.

The Spiderwick Chronicles: The Wrath of Mulgarath

I recently reread the Spiderwick Chronicles and just finished book five. It’s about a family who moves into their great aunt’s old house to care for it now that she can’t. Jared and his siblings gradually start learning the secrets of the old house and what their great-great-uncle Arthur Spiderwick had discovered about the creatures that share their world. It’s such a wonderful take on fairy mythology, with lots of excitement, and the art is beyond stunning. It is consistently well written, with a tight story, and spot on characterization the whole way through. It’s a huge recommendation for kids and adults alike; now that it’s been printed as an omnibus it’s really easy for an adult to pick up and read as one big novel rather than five separate novellas/chapter books. I’m going to have to read the second arc... it hadn’t been out when I originally read this series as a kid but I really love the world Black and DiTerlizzi created here. The fairies are beatiful, but not the standard bland design, they all feel like they could be real, dangerous, slightly alien creatures.

On Stranger Tides

A supernatural pirate story that I was actually really enjoying. Let’s be honest, Our Flag Means Death just got me hungry for more interesting pirate media and I saw that this was considered a pretty highly recommended classic. Very well earned — a bit racist, a bit misogynistic but over all a really fun adventure! I didn’t actually finish it, sadly… I kind of petered off. I’m not sure why it couldn’t hold my attention, perhaps I was just feeling too busy and stressed? Or maybe I was just feeling grumpy about it being too hetero after experiencing OFMD hahaha. I’m considering myself “done” with it for now, which is why it’s here, but I may pick it back up again at some point… Genuinely worth the read if you’re also looking for an interesting pirate adventure.

Witch Hat Atelier v3

I really love the magic system this series introduces, and the art is absolutely beautiful. It really feels different from what any other manga I’ve seen lately is doing. It sort of reminds me of +Anima in ways I really couldn’t describe... The story isn’t really keeping me that interested, sadly, I’m kind of neutral to it, but it’s pretty enough that it keeps drawing me into the next book every so often. I’ll probably grab book four from the library at some point.

[monstersmutpeddler]

Books That I Tried Reading But Couldn’t Finish (The Rest of May 2022)

So, if you’re ever wondering why I sometimes don’t post very often, it’s because I’m stuck trying to fight my way through this. I really tired getting through my backlog of books this month (which, I kinda did, yay!) but oooooofff, some of these books were not my cup of tea. 

For those who don’t know:

I’ll sometimes write reviews for the “Personally Couldn’t Finish” section of my rating, but I honestly prefer talking about things that I actually liked reading. Exceptions of course being for books that made me viscerally angry. Because those are fun to write about. 

Instead, here is a collection of books I tried reading but personally couldn’t for whatever reason. This could be because I got bored (the most likely answer), I really wasn’t into it, or I got really uncomfortable/triggered.

(I love Sci Fi Alien Romance Books, but hot damn, a lot of them really blur together. Like, I can only read so many ‘abducted for alien sex slavery but then saved by a hot alien man that basically looks human’ books before I zone out. You’d think that after like, 100+ books like that we’d have a lesbian alien. But no. We get alpha aliens who fated mate imprint like werewolves. Not that I have a problem with that, I’m just shocked there aren’t any M/M or W/W yet? Even in reverse harmes or poly books there isn’t a lady.)

Some of these books could actually be really great books (I wouldn’t know, I didn’t finish them), and you might get more enjoyment out of them than I did. So feel free to try them out, my opinion is just that. An opinion.

Alien Instinct (The Alien Series Book 1)

By: Tracy Lauren

 I’m just going to copy and paste the bullet points I wrote in my writing review journal because I think it summarizes everything perfectly:

Very lost/confused 22 year old who has no idea what she wants to do in life. 

Cut to the alien man right after we were reading about the girl being abducted, no easing into that. Very off. Wtf is going on?

Oooof so he works for the bad guy. At least he’s not into it. 

They think the humans are goddesses? This isn’t the first time I’ve seen this kind of trope, but I think Stolen By An Alien did it best.  

Gargoyle alien.  

There’s always one smartass chick in the group. Always the one bitch that makes it difficult for everyone while sometimes contributing.  

Got bored.   

Alien Commander's Mate (Fated Mates of the Xilan Warriors Book 1)

By: Ava Ross

 Not a fan of the start where this whole group of girls are just like: Talking about how they’re gonna bang these aliens and get pregnant. These first few chapters could’ve been summarized in four paragraphs at most. Then I got bored. 

Claimed: A Sci-Fi Alien Romance (Fated Mates of the Kalixian Warriors Book 1)

By: Presley Hall

Things were happening way too fast for my liking. Then I got bored/not invested.

Alien Tyrant: A SciFi Alien Romance (Fated Mates of the Sea Sand Warlords Book 1)

By: Ursa Dax

Got bored. 

Claimed by the Hunter: A Post-Apocalyptic Alien Romance (Xarc'n Warriors Book 1) 

By: Lynnea Lee

Not really in the mood for this kind of book. Had an interesting start, but then I got lost. Then bored. 

Captured: A Sci-Fi Alien Invasion Romance (Garrison Earth Book 1) 

By: V. K. Ludwig

Interesting premise that it’s these aliens that are invading earth. That alone could add some interesting dynamics, it’s funny seeing the scientists guards trying really hard to justify themselves and say they aren’t bad guys. But they are. 

But then we meet our main love interest guy. Holy shit. Wtf. Not only is he an ass, but the first sex scene between him and the leading lady was rape. He’s all shocked about it but no. You can’t come back from that. That was rape. Fuck no. 

Taken by the Alien Pirate: A SciFi Alien Romance (Fated Star Mates Book 1)

By: Kyla Quinn

Got bored. 

Possessed: A Sci-Fi Alien Warrior Romance (Raider Warlords of the Vandar Book 1)

By: Tana Stone

Ok, this has the concept of being a funny comedy riffing on the alien romance genre as a whole, but then it got dubious consent-y and I’m not really wanting to read that.  

Sirein: A Dystopian World Alien Romance (Alien Fairytale Romances)

By: S.J. Sanders

Started off really interesting, but then I got bored the moment we started reading the love interests perspective. I don’t think they even met until like 40% through the book?

Alien Creep: An Alien Shifter Romance (Alien Abductors Book 1)

By: Calista Skye

Got bored. 

Sacrifice (War Brides of the Morja Book 1)

By: Miranda Bridges

Starts straight up with a horny alien man. Like, he is so horny. Then I got bored. 

Trauhn: A SciFi Alien Barbarian Romance (Rakui Warriors Book 1)

By: Lena Grey

Got bored. 

There Arose Such A Clatter: Tales From The Naughty List

By: C.M.Nascosta

Woah woah woah woah ok. I know the author warns you before hand that this is extreme, but oooof. This was waaaayyy too much for me. Nope. 

The Virgin Hunt Games, Volume 1

By: Mel Tescho

Got bored. 

Warrior Hunted: A Sci-Fi Alien Romance (Fated Mates of Halia Book 2)

By: Alaska Jones

Got bored. 

Big Bad Wolf (The Lycans, 1)

By: Jenika Snow

Got bored. 

Tail 'Em: A Reverse Harem Shifter Romance (Jailbreak Book 1) 

By: Sam Hall

Got bored. 

The Orc Wife: A Monsterly Yours Romance

By: S.J. Sanders

Interesting start, but then things started moving real fast and I got uncomfortable. What happened to hello? How are you? My name is?

Dark Planet Warriors: A Science Fiction Romance

By: Anna Carven

I liked things at first one, but then got real bored at the halfway mark. 

Love & Monsters 

By: Raven Flanagan

Got bored.

Vincent's Resolution: Blind Date With An Alien (Children of the Dead Fall Book 1)

By: Susan Trombley

I wanted to like this, but really couldn’t get into it. Into The Deadfall (if I had to give it an actual rating, which I don’t do) was a 6/10. Interesting concept but two out of the five books were not fun for me. I was really hoping it’s sequel series would’ve been interesting (especially with all the cute kiddos finding love) but this wasn’t fun for me. Another: What happened to hello? How are you? My name is? Moment.

Props for Gabby being down with banging a monster on the first date the moment she finds out. She was like, ready for some weird kinky shit. XD

Honestly? If this was some cute rom com bullshit with Vincent trying to hide the fact that he’s an alien hybrid and his entire family is from an alternate dimension rip in space/time I would’ve loved every second of it. God, could you imagine the meet the parents scenario? 

^ Even funnier, if Gabby was actually one of the kids from the Iriduan Test Subjects series. Imagine the SHIT that would’ve gone down. 

I’m spiraling I need to stop. :’)

So I’m gonna stop here and pretend the story itself ended happily. Unless I find out Nemon or (mostly likely, if I had to pick someone) Halian shows up. Then I’ll just have to find out what is going on, especially for Halian, because anytime he shows up in a book crazy shit always happens. 

[optimisticllamathing]

I never want to talk to anyone about adoption because so many people are incapable of not being SO weird about it. Like, I always knew I was adopted, but I never cared until I’d make that mistake of mentioning that fun fact about myself and people reacted with creepy uncomfortable questions or said my mom isn’t my real mom just because she didn’t give birth to me or act like I just said some deep family secret or admitted my parents committed a crime. Like. In my family, everyone knows me and two of my cousins are adopted, but we’d all be baffled and highly insulted if anyone implied we weren’t part of the family, because we are. That’s never been in fucking question by anyone, except for strangers who don’t have manners and are as apparently obsessed with blood as tv show and Harry Potter characters. I thought the insistence on blood family was a weird trope that only mattered because it was a story with magical powers involved and had a very rude awakening when a classmate on the playground insisted it mattered very much on blood. One of my birth parents was probably autistic or ADHD without realizing and I know which one was nearsighted but that is the extent I would act like them. Why would I act like people I’ve never met? I’m so much like my parents, all my family members take after each other in their actions and little quirks because we’ve been around each other as long as we’ve been alive. My oldest cousin has several traits and interests I can trace to my dad despite them not being blood related because that’s my cousin on my mom’s side, because environment matters a whole lot to how people act.

I can remember these two kids I was friends with because my parents were friends with their parents, and my parents told me they were adopted but it’s a secret so don’t tell anyone. Not even tell the siblings, level of secret. And I didn’t, because I don’t tell people things my parents mention to me or in front of me like secrets or what they really think of x relative or financial information, but I just vividly remember being so baffled. I was so confused on why their parents were keeping it this huge secret. It’s not taboo to be adopted but they were treating it like this huge shameful thing and that felt alien to me. I did not understand at all why they wouldn’t tell those kids. I could now understand not telling the world in general because there are a lot of fucking weirdos who have no frame of reference for it for some reason, but I still can’t quite wrap my head around the reasoning of not at least telling the kids. As a kid I thought it felt like a ticking time bomb. They’re gonna find out, I thought, but it’ll be a big thing. They’ll need to know for paperwork and medical histories but since it’s been a huge thing hidden from them it’ll be this dramatic betrayal so I could not fathom the reasoning. I haven’t mentioned it except for now when they’re anonymous, because it’s not my secret to reveal, but like. Why. What the fuck.

some people actually disturb me when the topic of adoption comes up and I think people need to reflect on that but I’m not making other posts talking about it because that would just be inviting weird discourse

[sshbpodcast]

There is no Data, only Zuul: Body Possessions in Star Trek

By Ames

Starfleet personnel are always getting themselves possessed by things, for either nefarious or humanitarian reasons. Sometimes both! On the nasty side, alien entities can use your form like a disguise, get access to things they really shouldn’t have, or use your body to hurt someone or yourself. But on the happier side, they can continue living through situations they might not otherwise have been able to, can become corporeal if they weren’t before, or can use you to communicate like a big fleshy boombox.

We all know the real reason possession episodes in Star Trek are so common and coveted: because it lets the actors play entirely different people sometimes! We all saw Nimoy constantly hampered by having to play a Vulcan with such restrained emotions, so when he gets possessed all the time, it’s really a blast for everyone! This week, A Star to Steer Her By is listing as many possession episodes as we can think of, so see them all below or listen to all the chatter on this week’s podcast episode. And if we missed any, it’s because we weren’t entirely ourselves at the time.

[images © CBS/Paramount]

“Wolf in the Fold”

Somehow, I’ve yet again forgotten to discuss “Wolf in the Fold” on the episode, just like in our discussion about historic figures in Trek from last month. Well, I’m making up for it now because, unless I’m missing even more episodes, this is the first time we see someone being possessed! While it’s fun to have a body-hopping serial killer on the loose, it’s also a sort of strange usage of the trope since it’s specifically Jack the Ripper, which even in the sixties when this aired, feels like it’s really overdone.

“Return to Tomorrow”

One of the most successful uses of the body possession storyline gave Leonard Nimoy a chance to stretch his legs a little as the constantly scheming Henoch of the bodiless race of people too advanced for this universe. We loved seeing the conflict between him and Sargon and Thalassa in trying to rejoin the corporeal world only to determine that’s not where they belong. That’s why it made my top five episodes of TOS! We also got a tiny bonus of Spock’s consciousness getting stored in Chapel too!

“Is There in Truth No Beauty”

Nimoy gets to act outside of the normal Vulcan parameters again in season 3 in another favorite episode of mine. Here, Spock gets possessed by the Medusan Kollos who needs to make use of a physical body to save the ship from flying outside the galaxy again. Watching Kollos interact with a world he’s not usually a part of is actually fascinating to watch and such a great reason to keep possessions on your sci-fi table.

“The Lights of Zetar”

Update 1/28/24: I must have been possessed when I wrote this because I forgot another one from The Original Series! Scotty’s love interest Mira Romaine just keeps getting assaulted by these non-corporeal beings, the Zetarians, who are looking for a host body to cram themselves inside, sort of Being John Malkovich–style. And it’s not until they’re forced out of Romaine’s body in the pressure chamber that we saw the last of this light show lifeform.

The Search for Spock

On the subject of Vulcans, there’s also the plot device of the katra that was employed as an excuse to get Spock back when someone changed his mind about getting killed off. Sure, it’s kinda contrived and undoes a meaningful death scene, but Spock’s katra taking over McCoy every so often is actually a nice little inclusion to get to watch because DeForest Kelley just nails it.

“Lonely Among Us”

When we get to The Next Generation, people just get possessed left and right. It starts off early in season one with an incorporeal alien possessing various members of the crew before settling on Picard. However, “Lonely Among Us” is a pretty confusing, incredibly forgettable episode since the possession device just isn’t as interesting and we don’t really get a chance to understand what the aliens actually want.

“Conspiracy”

Love ‘em or hate ‘em, the conspiracy bugs that took over a good section of the admiralty did a pretty great job of using the people they were possessing to their advantage. Sure, their plans were bound to fail since there were too many dead giveaways that they weren’t the perfectly normal Starfleet officers they were claiming to be (after all, who eats that many mealworms in front of people?), but it was a good try!

“The Schizoid Man”

Data’s gonna get possessed quite a lot throughout TNG, mostly because of his android programming. What lifeform could turn down the chance to live forever in his hyper advanced robobody? Ira Graves seems to be the first to really try as a way of escaping death, but can’t get acclimated to Data’s super strength and poses a danger to anyone he touches. It’s an intriguing moral dilemma that’s always great to see, especially on Brent Spiner’s face.

“Evolution”

Speaking of Brent Spiner’s face, here’s another episode we forgot to bring up in the episode discussion! Like the aforementioned “Return to Tomorrow,” the beings are using the crewman’s body as a way to communicate with everyone around them, especially that weirdo Stubbs who wanted to get them all killed. All is forgiven though.

“Clues”

We’ve complained a lot on the podcast that TNG rarely let Marina Sirtis do, well, much. So it was actually pretty fun to see her get possessed by some reclusive aliens in “Clues.” Again, it’s another instance of some life forms using characters’ bodies to communicate since they lack the physical bodies to do so. And we get some bonus moments of Troi throwing Worf across the room, which I never knew I needed until this ep.

“The Host”

Back in TNG times, having a Trill symbiont just wrote over someone else’s mind, so it was more like being possessed than the merging of personalities that we see more in DS9. So when Riker lets the Odan slug convalesce in his belly, Odan gets to run the show, continue some peace talks, even bang Dr. Crusher a little in one of squickier ethical moves the Trill get to play.

“Power Play”

We’ve already covered what a good time it is when Data and Troi get possessed by alien lifeforms, so it’s that much better when they’re both possessed at once! And throw in O’Brien just as a bonus. The Ux-Mal people that possess our three heroes lead us through twist after twist in this romp of an episode, but also give Spiner, Sirtis, and Meaney some real fun scenery to chew. This one runs the gamut of all the positive aspects of possession stories.

“Sub Rosa”

And then we run into some of all the negative aspects in “Sub Rosa,” where the possession that we see is just a quick scene at the end of an already unpleasant episode. Add to that the corpse of Bev’s grandmother getting possessed by her lover, and we’re just at a hard pass. No wonder this one swept our bad lists of all of The Next Generation. At least it was just one scene.

“Masks”

Here’s another notoriously bad one. While it’s greatly entertaining to watch Brent Spiner playing like half a dozen different characters when some alien technology uploads some wacky cultural figures into his cybernetic brain, it’s also a bit lazy since the episode doesn’t really use the medium of the character possession to say a whole lot of substance, at least not as successfully as other episodes.

“Eye of the Beholder”

Another that we forgot to mention in the episode, so you get to see it here! As we sang when we covered in our rewatch to the tune of the M*A*S*H theme song, suicide’s contagious. Telepaths beware because lingering thought engrams can and will possess your brain and make you jump into a plasma stream like poor Lt. Kwan. This is a particularly weird episode that kinda fits the theme and kinda doesn’t, so I’m not surprised we forgot this final instance from a very long list from TNG.

“The Passenger”

Let’s move onto Deep Space Nine, which starts off the character possession pattern with another dud of an episode. Vantika uses some kind of personality infestation to take over Julian’s body and effectively escape death, which is as good a reason to possess someone as any. But Siddig, the poor thing, just didn’t have the chops for it, at least from where we sat cringing. Release the vampire cut!

“Dramatis Personae”

We’re still in season 1 and we already have another possession episode somehow. “Dramatis Personae” is a wholly forgettable episode, especially if you’ve gotten yourself possessed by the laziest character in an otherwise nondescript mutiny. It’s a good showcase for Odo to figure out the ruse, but the character choices for all the possessed people ended up just being boring somehow. At least we got a cool clock out of it.

“Facets”

We’re back to Trill shenanigans, this time of the Deep Space Nine flavor. The workings of the species may have changed, but we at least still have possessions on the docket when joined Trills go through their zhian'tara and beg their friends to let themselves get possessed by past personalities. The episode itself is a bit of a mixed bag, as it seems to be an attempt to deepen Jadzia’s character but in reality is an excuse for the other actors to act entirely out of their normal characters.

“The Assignment”

Early seasons possessions in Deep Space Nine were fairly varied, until we get to season 5 when it’s all prophets and pah-wraiths all the time. Stay out of the firecaves, lest you get possessed by a pah-wraith bent on destroying the wormhole like Keiko did. Considering how much the battle between the various incorporeal aliens drives the rest of the series, we really couldn’t imagine the series without these bratty bodysnatchers.

“The Reckoning”

We get a literal battle between the blue wormhole aliens and the red wormhole aliens the following season, as they possess Kira and Jake respectively to shoot energy at each other and generally treat us fleshy things like playthings. Possibly the best thing about this episode is who doesn’t get possessed: Kai Winn. She so badly wants the chance to have the Prophets inside her and they are so not interested and it’s amazing.

“Tears of the Prophets”

You know who doesn’t care what body they possess? Freakin’ pah-wraiths. And they net themselves a doozy in the season 5 finale. It’s always a treat to watch Gul Dukat strutting around the station, but it’s also super consequential when Kosst Amojan does it wearing a Gul Dukat suit. Few other possessions have had such lasting effects on a Trek show, but that’s also a testament to the writing of DS9.

“What You Leave Behind”

One last one from the categoy of getting possessed by prophets and pah-wraiths (and we’re not even counting Sarah Sisko since we never actually see the real her in an episode!). I said it above, but possessed Dukat is best Dukat, which isn’t hard because they’re all best Dukat. As rushed as the firecave plot in the series finale felt, what a way for Kosst Amojan and Gul Dukat to go!

“Cathexis”

Moving on to our friends in the Delta Quadrant, we see an early instance of a possession when Chakotay somehow finds his soul outside his body, as one does. Sure, there’s some weird magical native tropes, but for a while it’s an alright mystery of who the alien entity is masquerading as at any given time until we learn there’ve been TWO battling spirits the whole time!

“Warlord” 

We’ve seen a couple instances in other episodes of people using the possession method to keep themselves from death, and this episode is no different. The warlord Tieran inhabits a new body to retain his control over his people, but he underestimated Kes’s mental resilience. This one proves to be a good showcase for the Kes character, whom we’ve mentioned in the past we miss terribly!

“Infinite Regress”

If you thought Spiner played a lot of different characters in “Masks,” strap in and enjoy the delightful range of Jeri Ryan playing an absolute ton of Borg victims in “Infinite Regress.” There’s a Ferengi and a Vulcan and a Klingon and a young girl and a whole bunch of other individuals leaking out of the vinculum that broke Seven’s mind a little. The episode itself is a little uneven, but worth it for watching the mother of the crewman lost at Wolf 359 who then got assimilated herself.

“Warhead”

There’s a great joke in The Simpsons about a robot running around on fire yelling “Why?! Why was I programmed to feel pain?!” Similarly, this episode answers the question “Why?! Why would you program a weapon to be sentient?!” with the obvious: to exceed its programming, of course. And also to possess the EMH and allow for a lot of fascinating discussion about artificial life, fate, and accountability.

“Body and Soul”

Our list moves on from the Doctor getting possessed by an artificial intelligence to the Doctor himself possessing a Borg! In a way similar to Spock’s consciousness hitching a ride in Chapel’s body back in “Tomorrow is Yesterday” to evade detection, the EMH gets to ride around in Seven’s body mostly for the comic effect of it all. Jury’s out on how successful the comedy is versus how uncomfortable it is; keep up with our watchthrough on the podcast for when we get to it!

“The Crossing”

Our first foray into body possession in Enterprise retreads a lot of the same ground crossed in other episodes: noncorporeal creatures trying to hitch a ride in a human body, experiences eating food for the first time, and some scenes even more offputting than the Doctor/Seven combo above when alien-possessed Reed tries to mate with T’Pol. Ugh. It all adds up to a kinda rehashed episode and these subspace wisps can really get bent.

“Observer Effect”

I’m wrapping it here even if there are more possessions after Enterprise because this post is a beast. And “Observer Effect” is a great way to end the conversation with yet another original take on the alien passenger, these ones an incorporeal race who give themselves a front row seat to watching how species handle a catastrophe and debating among themselves if any of what they’re doing is ethical. It’s incredibly compelling.

—

We’re feeling like ourselves again, so let’s bring this one to a close. Newer Trek has a lot fewer examples I could think of (I could only think of the sight gag reference to “Masks” from Lower Decks, myself), so if you’ve got any more possessions on your mind, reach out! You should also keep watching this space for more fun blogtivities, follow along with our voyage through Voyager on SoundCloud or wherever you get your podcasts, hail us on Facebook and Twitter, and get out of my head!

[secret-engima]

Please don’t feel obligated to answer, I’m just curious why you don’t like vampires? Is there a specific reason or more just general dislike?

Hm. Gonna preface this by saying I have nothing against people who like the vampire tropes? I know people have a lot of fun with it, and this is just not my cup of tea, but since you asked imma give a short rant now.

Admittedly a good part of my dislike is my Christian sensibilities angrily smacking at the concept of the Undead in general like a cat smacks furiously at an invader in its box.

But mostly I just-

Really really do not like or get the idea of undead things. Reincarnation is a fun trope I've come around on, and characters "dying" or getting super close to death and then being magically saved and restored to normal is also a trope that is really fun to play with. See all my Nox spinoffs XD.

I'll even take "has a healing factor that keeps them from dying/staying dead under all circumstances" ala poor Ardyn, because at the end of the day Ardyn IS actually fully alive and that's half his problem.

But "100% dead and still wandering around causing problems"? No thank you. My ability to hand wave fantasy stuff can't manage to cover that one. *especially* since Vampires are dead and yet CAN APPARENTLY HAVE KIDS WITH LIVING PEOPLE????

*cat smacks the concept off the table like a glass of water*.

Also the blood drinking thing low-key annoys me and freaks me out, for similar reasons as the "dead but can have children" thing. Like- why blood? Why usually only human blood? In the vampire tropes I have unwillingly absorbed through osmosis, it always seems like human blood is somehow "better" than animal blood, or that animal blood is incompatible entirely? Like- dude. it's just blood. It's got all the same ingredients and building blocks. Either suck it up or go the vampire version of vegan.

I've seen some people do versions of vampires that only keep the blood drinking thing thing and some of the powers and insist they're actually alive, which confuses me more because if you're alive WHY DO YOU NEED BLOOD SO BAD. Sounds like anemia and/or severe iron deficiency and (especially in more modern AUs) there are *medications for that*.

Also if vampires and zombies (which is another trope I severely dislike) are ALREADY DEAD THEN HOW CAN YOU KILL THEM? Like- this thing is canonically already DEAD. Why does a wooden stick through an organ that *no longer functions* going to make it lie down and stop moving around? Or for zombies, why does a bullet or sword to the brain, an organ that *can no longer be producing signals because that is the definition of dead* make them suddenly decide to stop running around biting things????

*flails* I know that a lot of fantasy does not make sense but the Undead thing, like Vampires and Zombies, just seems *so utterly pointless to me*?????

That and it's always coupled with some kind of intense desire to kill/eat humans over anything else and the very sour part of me is just: ah. So we're just doing this for the horror porn. Okay.

It just feels like there are a thousand more creative monsters someone could make or use in their fic to be scary, or to do their morality investigations with. I don't get why two of the popular options boil down to "it's a corpse with grandiose ego issues" and "it's a corpse that for some reason feels hunger even tho the stomach is probably rotted out and either way definitely doesn't work".

I DO get that the idea of some kind of dangerous Other race lives among humans and blends in and occasionally gets the munchies is interesting to play with. I get that there is an element of potential world building in there that can be fun. But I continue to screech at the sky and ask WHY DEAD THINGS THAT DRINK BLOOD in the same tone I screech at many video games WHY GIANT SPIDER BOSS. It feels like it would be so easy to just like- make a fae culture? or aliens? If it was fae then you could even have the "humans can be turned into them" since that's a thing in mythology I think. All the fun of creepy world building and secret societies and none of the corpses running around getting delusions of grandeur.

So yeahhhhh that's my rant on why Vampires (and zombies) really bother me.

But I do know that people like them so like. Whatever. Have fun. I'm just gonna sit back here and be confused.

[idreamtofmanderleyagain]

Five years ago, the women on this site who treated me like trash over loving Labyrinth and shipping Jareth/Sarah were almost always obliviously consuming Radfem propaganda, or were out and out Radfems/Terfs themselves.

They were the types of people who casually threw the word “pedophile” around against grown women who shipped an adult Sarah with Jareth, aka literally one of the most popular ships for women in fandom for 30 years.

Pretty much invariably, these women had serious sex-negative anxieties, which included a severe paranoia about any and all kink and fetish, and porn in general. I saw a lot of shocking, fear-mongering propaganda surrounding sexual expression. Pretty much invariably, their method of approach involved immediate personal shock-value attacks on anyone they perceived to be “bad.”

Today, you can look at the way some people react to other popular so-called “problematic” ships and recognize the same toxic, fear-mongering rhetoric coming from women who consider themselves regular, trans-inclusive feminists. Sometimes it even manifests in the words of very well-meaning people (including myself here), who feel the need to talk about specific issues that pertain to their own experiences of trauma and oppression.

The people who shit on Labyrinth often seem to not really be able to comprehend that the Goblin King, like the film itself, is canonically a representation of a teen girl’s psyche, a soup of fears and anxieties and desires and dreams. He’s not a literal human adult preying on a literal child, and to read the film that way seriously undermines the entire point of the film. 

When I (and people of many fandoms) say “This is fiction, calm down,” I’m not just saying it’s not real so it cant hurt you and you can’t criticize me. I’m trying to call attention to what fiction actually is - artistic representations of feelings and experiences. The Goblin King is Sarah’s fiction. Therefore, he can be anything she or any woman who identifies with her wants him to be, including her lover when she’s grown and ready for such a thing.

I once took an alarming dive into Beetlejuice fandom to see what content was there (the cartoon was a favorite when I was little). Chillingly, what you’ll find is an extremely wounded fanbase, with a sharp divide between the older women who had long been shipping BJ/Lydia because of their love for the cartoon series (and whom were previously the vast majority of the Beetlejuice fandom), and a massive amount of young people riding the wave of the musical fad who had decided that the entire old school Beetlejuice fandom was populated by literal pedophiles. 

I saw death threats. Suicide baiting. Constant, constant toxic discourse. It did not matter how the BJ/Lydia fandom dealt with any particular issues that would exist in their ship, in fact I’m certain that the people abusing them cared very little to even consider if they were trying to handle it at all. The only thing that mattered was that they were disgusting subhuman scum asking for abuse. If you have at any time reblogged recent Beetlejuice fan art or content from fans of the musical, you have more than likely been engaging positively with the content of someone participating in toxic fandom behavior.

Nobody is really sticking up for them, either, as far as I saw. It’s really hard to imagine how painful it must be to have such a large group of people explode into into your relatively private fandom space to tell you that you are evil, vile, and deserve constant abuse, and also you are no longer allowed into the fandom space to engage in it’s content. But I think there’s something very alarming indeed about this happening specifically to the BJ fandom, and I’ll explain why. 

The pop-culture characterization of Beetlejuice, which is heavily influenced by the cartoon series to be clear, has always in my mind been a vaguely ageless being who matches with the psychological maturity of whatever age Lydia is supposed to be. He’s more or less like an imaginary friend, a manifestation of Lydia’s psyche. In fact, I would argue that i think most of us who grew up with the cartoon or it’s subsequent merchandizing before the musical ever existed probably internalized the idea as BJ and Lydia as this ageless, salt-and-pepper-shaker couple beloved by the goth community, similar to Gomez and Morticia. In each version of canon he may be a creepy ghost in the literal sense, but any adult who is capable of identifying literary tropes (even just subconciously) would read cartoon!BJ as an artistic representation of a socially awkward outcast girl’s inner world. Lydia’s darker dispositions and interests, which alienate her from most others, are freely accepted and embraced by her spooky magical friend. BJ/Lydia in the cartoon were depicted as best friends, but to my memory there was always an underlying sense that they had secret feelings for each other, which I identified easily even as a small child. In fact, their dynamic and behavior perfectly reflected the psychological development of the show’s target demographic. They are best friends who get into adventures and learning experiences together, who have delicate feelings for each other but lack any true adult romantic/sexual understanding to acknowledge those feelings, let alone pursue them.

Though I haven’t seen the Musical yet, I’ve read the wiki and I would argue that it embodies this exact same concept even more so for it’s own version of the characters, in that Beetlejuice specifically exists to help Lydia process her mother’s death.

This is not a complicated thing to recognize and comprehend whatsoever. In fact, it looks downright blatant. It’s also a clear indicator of what BJ/Lydia means to the women who have long loved it. It was a story about a spooky wierd girl being loved and accepted and understood for who she was, and it gave them a sense of solidarity. It makes perfect sense why those women would stick with those characters, and create a safe little space for themselves to and imagine their beloved characters growing and having adult lives and experiencing adult drama, in just the same ways that the women of the Labyrinth fandom do. That’s all these women were doing. And now, they can’t do it without facing intense verbal violence. That safe space is poisoned now.

Having grown up with the cartoon as one of my favorites and been around goth subculture stuff for decades, I was actually shocked and squicked at the original Beetlejuice film’s narrative once I actually saw it, because it was extremely divorced from what these two characters had evolved into for goth subculture and what they meant to me. It’s not telling the same story, and is in fact about the Maitland's specifically. In pretty much exactly the same way two different versions of Little Red Riding Hood can be extremely different from each other, the film is a different animal. While I imagine that the film version has been at the heart of a lot of this confused fear-mongering around all other versions of the characters, I would no more judge different adaptations of these characters any more than I would condemn a version of Little Red in which Red and the Wolf are best friends or lovers just because the very first iteration of LRRH was about protecting yourself from predators.

I would even argue that the people who have engaged in Anti-shipper behavior over BJ/Lydia are in intense denial over the fact that BJ being interested in Lydia, either as blatant predatory behavior a la the film or on a peer level as in the cartoon (and musical?) is an inextricable part of canon. Beetlejuice was always attracted to Lydia, and it was not always cute or amusing. Beetlejuice was not always a beloved buddy character, an in fact was originally written as a gross scumbag. That’s just what he was. Even people engaging with him now by writing OC girlfriends for him (as stand-ins for the salt-and-pepper-shaker space Lydia used to take up, because obviously that was part of the core fun of the characters), or just loving him as a character, are erasing parts of his character’s history in order to do so. They are actively refusing to be held responsible for being fans of new version of him despite the fact that he engaged in overt predatory behavior in the original film. In fact, I would venture to say that they are actively erasing the fact that Musical Beetliejuice tried to marry a teenager and as far as I’m aware, seemed to like the idea (because he’s probably a fucking figment of her imagination but go off I guess). The only reason they can have a version of this character who could be perceived as “buddy” material is because...the cartoon had an impact on our pop cultural perception of what the character and his dynamic with Lydia is. 

We can have a version of the Big Bad Wolf who’s a creepy monster. We can have a version who’s sweet and lovable. We can have a version that lives in the middle. We can have a version who’s a hybrid between Red and the Wolf (a la Ruby in OUAT). All of these things can exist in the same world, and can even be loved for different reasons by the same people.

I’ve been using Beetlejuice as an example here because it’s kind of perfect for my overall point regarding the toxic ideologies in fandom right now across many different spaces, including ones for progressive and queer media, and how much so many people don’t recognize how deeply they’ve been radicalized into literalist and sex-negative radfem rhetoric, to the point where we aren’t allowed to have difficult, messy explorations of imperfect, flawed humans, and that art is never going to be 100% pure and without flaw in it’s ability to convey what it wants to convey.

This includes the rhetoric I’ve seen across the board, from She-Ra to A:TLA to Star Wars to Lovecraft Country. We don’t talk about the inherent malleable, subjective, or charmingly imperfect nature of fiction any more. Transformation and reclamation are myths in this space. Everything is in rigid categories. It is seemingly very difficult for some of these people to engage with anything that is not able to be clearly labeled as one thing or another (see the inherent transphobic and biphobic elements of the most intense rhetoric). They destroy anything they cannot filter through their ideology. When women act in a way that breaks from their narrative of womanhood (like...not having a vagina), then those women must be condemned instead of understood. Anything that challenges them or makes them uncomfortable is a mortal sin. There is an extraordinary level of both hypocrisy and repressive denial that is underlying the behavior I’m seeing now. Much like toxic Christian conservatism, these people often are discovered engaging in the same behaviors and interests that they condemn behind closed doors (or just out of sheer cognitive dissonance). As an example, one of the people who talked shit to me about Labyrinth was a huge fan of Kill La Kill, which to my knowledge was an anime about a teenage girl in like, superpowered lingere (hence why I stayed the fuck away from that shit myself). Indeed, they even allow themselves plenty of leeway for behavior far worse than they condemn others for, and create support systems for the worst of their own abusers. 

Quite frankly, I’m tired. Instead of talking about theoretical problematic shit, we need to start talking about quantifiable harm. Because as far as I can tell, the most real, immediate, and quantifiable harm done because of anybody’s favorite ships or pieces of media seems to consistently be the kind that’s done to the people who experience verbal violence and abuse and manipulation and suicide baiting and death threats from the people who have a problem.

[enigma-im]

Eleventh day of Christmas...

Trope: Fake Relationship Relationship: Alien x Human Word count: 4,366

No one understands how difficult it is to get a job as an alien. With humans making up the majority of life in space, reproducing like rodents, there isn't much use in lower life like me. To finally get a job is a miracle in itself. Though it's working on some low tier mining station, it's enough for me to settle down. Living in the village that rounds the outskirts of the quarry. It's solitary life but it's enough for me to be content. The humans aren't as rude and mean as I thought. Over the years I learned there was a difference between working-class and upper personalities. Everyone I've interacted with has treated me mostly as an equal, someone who sweats and bleeds for the job just as they do.

Only working on the station for a year I get a notice of eviction. It's a heart retching moment that leaves me in tears. This place has been my home for as long as I've known it. I've made friends and a life here, now they wish to send me away? I try to keep it together but it's hard when everything you cherish is being tossed away with a simple note. As I break down in the middle of mining I'm surrounded by workers, all trying their best. My dearest friend, Vincent, takes me away to the break room to settle down. He has always been kind to me, being ever patient in all our interactions. I couldn't ask for a better friend.

As I calm down enough to inform Vincent of my predicament he does his best to comfort me. I feel like a pest trying to steal his kindness. He tries to placate me, which works for the day but not for the week. The end of the month comes up quickly and I can barely hold my tools to work. He is always there to lend a sweet smile. As the last week comes up Vincent surprises me by coming to my home, offering a solution to my problem.

He offers to marry me.

It's a ridiculous idea that I turn down immediately, though at the time I truly wanted the easy out. He takes most of the night to convince me, explaining that nothing has to change. I have to agree, knowing that life outside of here would be worse than a little lie to the higher-ups. We marry the next day, sending in a request for joint living.

It's been nearly a year since then and life has been smooth sailing. We continue on as friends, putting on a bit of a show for the bosses whenever they show up. A few chaste kisses and lingering hugs are enough for them to nod and turn away. Besides that, we are just good friends, friends who live together in matrimony.

The houses are decorated this time of year for the human holidays. It's nice to see them stick to their roots, enjoying new years and large feasts. Though I can't say I fully understand this upcoming celebration I can still enjoy the fairy lights strewn across the paths.

"Doing anything with Vincent on Christmas," Tori asks as she walks beside me. I smile as I continue to admire the lights.

"Not that I'm aware of," I answer.

"What, no lovey-dovey plans," she asks with a salacious grin. Tori knows of the arrangement Vincent and I have, as does most of the station, but she has some weird romantic ideals for us. I've given up a while ago trying to extinguish this fire.

"None of that, I heard there is going to be another large feast for everyone," I offer instead," we are most likely heading to that."

Tori scoffs," that's no fun. You two can have a lazy morning in and still have time to go to the luncheon."

I shrug, not feeding into her wishes. Vincent and I don't have that kind of relationship. A few short kisses are all we have shared, the strange shows of affection these humans have. My people would gawk in disgust at such displays. I snicker to myself, I was much the same when he first told me of the action.

We head into work, meeting up with the crew before we descend into the dark quarry. Layers and layers of rock pass us, the sight a lackluster one after a few hundred viewings. Though more of those fairy lights decorate some of the open floors. Vincent bumps me from my admiring.

"What floor are you on today," he asks. I look to him, meeting his warm brown eyes. He is an adorable man, though he is far different than people of my kind. His hair for one is strange to me, though soft and fluffy the few times I've touched it. I can understand the appeal but it's still new to me.

"45, I'm with Harland's crew today," I answer.

"Hm," he nods," I'm just the floor below you. Want to get lunch with me today, since we are sharing the same break room?"

"Of course," I smile," I want to know more about this Santa character. It still weirds me out how he suppose to know when children have been good or bad. I understand he isn't real but how are kids comforted by this fake knowledge growing up?"

Vincent chuckles, ready to give a teasing remark before the elevator stops. I head out, waving goodbye to him as I go.

I hear many people complain about the tedious job, some even going as far as ranting on how awful working here is. Though I can't say I share the same sentiment I understand where they are coming from. It seems humans aren't built too well for jobs like this. Vincent for example has come home sore and hurt before. I've catered to him in those situations, acting like their human housewives as I draw him a bath or massage his shoulders. It's not much of a chore though, a small price to pay to say thanks.

The break comes nearly too fast as I truly get into my work. I've found a vein that piques my interest. Everyone heads out leaving me to skip the joint ride up. I finish as much as I can before I have to call it quits less I leave Vincent waiting in the break room.

I head up alone to level 40, absentmindedly walking to the breakroom. The area is large to fit everyone in and it takes me a moment to find Vincent amongst the crowd. I soon spot him off the far corner speaking with another. The human sitting beside him is someone I've not met before, a tall but slim human woman. Vincent seems engaged in the conversation, leaning close to her. The woman is equally interesting, with a great smile on her face. I falter on my way towards him feeling strange the longer I stare. I shake my head and just ignore the rolling feeling in my gut.

"Hey," I greet as I sit across from the two. Vincent startles, leaning away from the woman as he turns to me.

"Hey," he answers less enthused than he was previously.

"Hello," the girl smiles wide. Vincent startles again as if he forgot the woman was there with him. He looks to me then back to the woman, flustered a bit. My stomach rolls again.

"I guess you two haven't met. Nao this is Andrea," he gestures to the woman with a big smile," Andrea this is Nao, my, uh, wife." I don't care for the way he stuttered at the end. The woman's large smile shrinks as she looks between us then at our hands.

"Oh, you're married? You two don't wear your rings," she gestures to our empty fingers. I look at my hand confused, looking to Vincent with a quirked brow.

"Y-yea, it’s a bit harder to wear one while working down here. You will find out soon enough," Vincent jokes with her. Andrea take the answer well enough, scooting away from him a bit to my strange relief. The two still talk amicably while we all eat. My stomach continues to roll the entire time, spoiling the meal.

At the end of the workday, I walk home with Vincent stuck in thought. The interaction has picked at me the entire day, my work suffering a bit as I'd stare off into space. I continue doing that now, looking at the sidewalk with my stomach still twisting. Why am I like this?

Vincent bumps my shoulder," you good?" I stand to attention, flustered.

"Yea, just a bit distracted," I answer casually. I drift off in thought again. They seemed rather friendly today. Was he flirting with her? I've seen a few of the workers casually talk with each other with that same large smile and close proximity. The thought makes me clench my jaw.

"Penny for your thoughts," he asks. My mixed emotions pause at the question.

"What?"

He snorts," what's are you thinking about?"

"Oh," I say, still a bit confused about the question. Penny for your thoughts? I shake my head. "Was thinking about human interactions. Your species is a tad confusing," I answer as casually as I can. No need to sound as distraught as I feel.

Vincent cocks a brow," which ones? Maybe I can lend a hand in understanding." I debate actually asking, some discretion is needed here. I never understood the 'beating around the bush' meaning. Why not say what you mean? Though right now I think I get it.

"Flirting, I think is what it's called," I shrug, trying to seem uninterested. He still stiffens, walking a bit awkward as he reaches back and rubs his neck.

"I, uh," he fumbles," what about it?"

"What is it?"

"Flirting? It's just showing interest in another as a romantic partner," he answers weirdly. I appraise him from the corner of my eye, he is tense. I chew on my cheek, licking at my teeth.

"You never flirted with me," I say, wishing I hadn't immediately after.

"well, our situation was a bit different," he adjusts his bag over his shoulder," do you want me to flirt with you?"

I curl into myself," no-I don't know- it's fine- I'm not… I was just curious about it." he nods, watching me as we walk. I feel scrutinized like a germ under a microscope. Just act casual.

"Anyway, how was your day? Mine was alright, I managed to finish a vein before the whistle," I ramble. He says nothing, prompting me to look at him.

Vincent slows to a stop, me stopping with him confused. He reaches out and pinches my chin softly, tilting his head a bit with a cute twinkle in his eye. I stiffen, awkward, confused, and intrigued. He leans closer, his breath brushing over my cheeks.

"You have the most beautiful eyes, the way the Christmas lights twinkle off them look magical," he purrs. I gulp, looking between his eyes utterly conflicted. Not sure about what to do I bat his hand away with a chuckle.

"Shut up," I snicker," was that flirting?"

He laughs," if you have to ask then I didn't do it well."

We continue walking home but the fluttering in my chest overdoes the rolling in my stomach. I can't stop the smiling curling my lips, passing a glance to Vincent I see a similar grin.

The whole week I'm stuck in a loop of thoughts. Nothing can break the cycle, not even work can distract me. My body feels tense like a loaded spring. I don't know what I'm getting ready for till I'm sitting across from Vincent in the breakroom. The girl has come around for a few days but has backed off as Vincent has nearly ignored her in favor of talking with me. It's when I feel a bit of smug pride do I understand what's going on.

I have feelings for Vincent.

That's a strange thought, I have feelings for my husband, but it's still just as alarming. This annoying rolling in my stomach and taunt pull of my shoulders have been because of this woman encroaching. Have I always seen him as mine? It was never an issue before. I try to think of it strategically before I go more abstract. Was I flustered because if he left me then I'd be evicted? As that idea didn't settle well I humored the idea of actually liking him. It began a string of daydreams of kissing him at home, sharing a bed like other couples. I like the idea of laying against him on the couch, watching television, and sharing a few sweet kisses.

Damn it, I have feelings for my husband.

I seek out Tori on our day off. If anyone can help me with this it's her. A part of me finds it ridiculous to be so afraid of this feeling fluttering around my chest every time I see Vincent now. Once I found out what all this meant I haven't been able to look at him as a friend. I keep seeing pictures of us kissing everywhere. That morning I near pressed a kiss to his cheek and bump my head to his. Now that’s a mix of cultures I'm not ready for.

I pound on Tori's door like mad. She snatches the door open angrily before she acknowledges me.

"Any reasons you're making such a racket at 9 am," she snaps, though a tad amused.

"I think I'm falling for Vincent and I have no idea what to do about it. I don't wanna be fired or have him leave me," I nearly whimper," I need help. Please, tell me what to do."

Tori panic with me, reaching out and dragging me into a hug as I feel like a nervous wreck. So much is sitting on this deal Vincent and I have. Catching feelings can make or break it all. Tori pulls me inside, placing me on the couch. She sits on the coffee table, elbows resting on her knees.

"So you finally admit you love Vincent," she asks, playful but strangely serious.

I scoff," I didn't say I was in love with him, you humans throw that word around too easily. No, I said I was falling for him, great potential but with serious loss."

"What loss?"

I recoil, gesturing wide," Everything! If he doesn't feel the same or isn't ok with me having these emotions then we will split and I'll be sent back to where I came from. I can't scrounge for scraps again, Tori, I rather live this lie than go back."

Tori stares a tad too long before dropping her head with an annoyed shake. I watch, waiting for her words of wisdom.

"You are allowed this one pass as you don't understand humans as well as I do," she sighs as she sits back up," he likes you too!" I scoff, ready to leave till she grabs my arms. "He has liked you since he asked to marry you, you just haven't done anything to suggest you like him back," she explains," I can assure you if you walk over there right now, kiss him senseless and rip off your clothes then he will be over the moon to have you."

My heart flutters at the idea," I-I don't think- it's a bit extreme of an assumption."

She waves me off," shut up, it isn't. Human men are simple, that’s how I know he is completely enamored with you."

I hug my waist," well, he looked enamored with Andrea last week. I'm not as fickle as you all with these sorts of feelings, my kind doesn't just change their minds on partners."

Tori opens her mouth to rant again but just huffs, burying her face in her hands with a quick scream. She straightens with another sigh," I'll explain this one more time. Vincent is in love with you and I need you to stop acting like he isn't. He loves to go on and on about you with everyone at work. It's always 'Nao loves that' or 'Nao did this or that'. I say just tell him so you can get on to the baby-making part."

The conversation going in circles I decided to humor her," fine, how do you suggest I do that?"

"Walk over there and say 'hey, I love you and want to bump crotches with you', something like that," she rests her cheek on her hand," it's honestly that easy."

I scoff," you people lack class and subtlety."

She snorts," Fuck subtlety. But fine, you want a grand romantic gesture or something? Then get him a gift for Christmas that explains everything as easily as words. Like some lingerie or condoms."

Maybe coming to Tori was a bad idea.

Leaving her place quickly I try to dissect her words for some actual help. Maybe a romantic gesture was a good idea. That way if he doesn't like it I can try to flip it around as a misunderstanding, nothing lost. But what something humans want that can promote what I'm trying to say.

I think about this all week, feeling like a deadline is coming up fast. Christmas is just around the corner and I have to think of something. There aren't many places to shop and online is only helpful when you know what you are looking for. It's not till I see an older woman walking by with a ring on her necklace do I get an idea.

I've heard many times from many people about the symbolism of the ring. It's an image of constants and cycles. Placing the wedding ring on one's heart finger is to keep a loved one close. It's nearly perfect. I get looking online, staying up for hours in my room as I try to find the perfect one. The overly gaudy ones don't seem to fit for Vincent, he is a simple man. I find simpler bands that have layers of different metals. I go further and further down this trail till I find one that just clicks. Ordering it quickly I wait with bated breath for Christmas.

The package comes on our day off, the delivery woman handing the package to Vincent before I can try to beat him to it. As he looks it over I try to snatch it from his hands. Quickly he moves it out of reach, looking at me intrigued.

"It's rude to steal things from people's hands," he quirks a brow.

"It's not rude when it's mine," I correct. I reach for it again but he holds it over his head. Trying my luck I jump for it, grabbing at his arm as he chuckles.

"You have been interested now," he takes a step back," what's in this?" I trail after him still reaching for the box as he pretends to try to open it.

"I thoughts humans don't open gifts before Christmas," I shout, trying to hold back a snicker as we continue this little game. He twirls as I lunge, letting me fall on the couch.

"This is a Christmas gift," he perks up," is it for me?"

I twist on my back to look up at him," who else would it be for?"

"You have other friends," he shrugs, staring intently at the little package.

"But I only have one husband."

He snorts, mumbling," you better."

I sit up from the couch using his momentary distraction to grab at the box. He moves it at the last second smirking down at me. Hiding it behind his back he leans down towards me.

"What is it," he asks, nearly bouncing on his heels.

"Don't you have to wait till Christmas to find out," I ask. He pouts, tugging the box from behind him and handing it to me.

"Semantics," he waves his hand," you aren't supposed to keep secrets from your husband."

Holding the package I quirk a brow up at him," even fake husbands?" the playful gleam drops from his eyes, shoulders sagging.

"Yea," he answers," I guess that rules don't have to apply here."

I watch him walk out of the room feeling rather dejected. Looking down at the box I pet at the packaging. I allow myself to picture a day where I can truly call him my husband.

The lead up to Christmas eve is rather tense. Vincent isn't around as much, coming home late after hanging around buddies. It picks at my nerves slowly but surely till I'm waiting anxiously in the living room. I wanted to use the last week to try to endear myself to him, even cooking more often in hopes that he would be pleased with me. Though I'm generally not the one doing the cooking, him being the more proficient cook in this relationship.

Christmas eve day has me antsy. Though it’s a weekday we have it off and that actually makes it worse. A whole day of worrying. I cook breakfast for us, having a casual conversation with him before he agrees to show me some classic films. Sitting far sides of the couch and watching these flicks has me tenser. So close but so far.

I do try my hardest to enjoy the holiday introductions, learning all I can about this strange holiday. Though learning about Krampus has thrown me for a loop I find it all cozy. The day turns to night and we are finishing a film about an angry fellow living on a mountain. I found it funny but a lot of the humor was beyond my understanding.

"Hey, Nao," Vincent breaks the silence as the movie is paused.

"Yes," I ask. Looking over at him I see his fingers fidget against each other. He shyly looks up to me, pacing a quick glance to the tree in the corner.

"My family has a tradition where we open one gift on Christmas eve. I was curious if you wanted to open one before we head off to bed," he suggests. I look to the tree seeing a handful of gifts under the tree.

"There are about six gifts there, you sure you want to open them now," I ask. He fidgets a bit more, kicking his feet off the couch.

"I'm just a bit excited about giving you one of them so please humor me for the night," he shrugs. Before I can answer he is walking over to the tree to grab a small box. Handing it to me from the floor he sits by the coffee table. I fiddle with the little box, glancing over to my gift for him sitting within reach of him. I guess now is a good of a time as any.

"Grab the red one by your hand," I point. He snatches the little gift. With one more glance at each other, we start opening our gifts.

I can hardly think as I peel off the wrapping, trying to focus on him. As I get the gift open I nearly overlook the item inside. My heart stutters at the bright pendant laying at the center of a chain. The little fairy lights catch on the pink gem and twinkles inside the box. I can hardly breathe as I pet at it, remembering my mother wearing a similar piece around her neck. Father would go on and on about how he made it for her as a proposal gift, as have many people before him. Does Vincent understand the significance of this?

Gawking I look up at Vincent the same time he opens the ring box. His eyes widen, startling up to me with a similar look of wonder and surprise as me. A smile creeps up my face, his lips do the same. We both toss aside the boxes and lunge for one another. I fall to my knees on the carpet as he rises onto his. Our mouths meet in a clumsy attempt at a kiss, smiling like fools as we do our best. As we continue to ruin it I nuzzle my head against his, a rumbling in my chest rising with the tender moment.

"Great minds think alike I assume," he chuckles, tugging me close into a hug.

"How did you know about proposal gems," I wrap my arms around his neck, utterly fascinated with the glow of his eyes right now.

"I asked around," he shrugs," how did you know about engagement rings?"

"I ask around," I laugh. He chuckles, leaning over to press a fat kiss to my cheek.

"I was so nervous," he kisses at my neck," I know how serious your kind is about this kind of thing and I honestly didn't think you would want me. I told myself this would be my last try, if it didn't work I was going to have to talk about where to go from here. I've wanted you for so long."

"I didn't know I wanted you till recently but now looking back the feelings have always been there," I pet at his hair," flirting with that woman gave me a reality check." he startles me with a bite to my neck, a purr rolling up my throat shortly after. He licks the spot, soothing the aggravated skin.

"I barely flirted with her," he growls," she is so overly peppy, it got annoying after a while. I'm sorry but I did want to check if anyone could hold a flame to you. Doing that with anyone else felt wrong and dishonest, I only want to shower you in compliments." I tug at his hair, pulling him back.

I meet his warm brown eyes, looking between them before I ask," will you marry me, for real this time?"

His eyes crinkle with his giant smile," I think that's supposed to be my line." I shake my head in amusement before dragging him into another kiss.

We go to bed together, excited about tomorrow and the news we get to share. I wear my necklace and he wears his ring. What a wonderful Christmas.