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lottins-only · 2 days
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I love you, it's ruining my life | Part V
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pairing: Kylian x black!fem!Reader
word count: 4.5k
part one, part two, part three, part four
V. May 2024
She’d gotten the invitation in the mail a few weeks ago, a creamy white envelope announcing the upcoming wedding of Julien, a childhood friend from Bondy, to his fiancee of several years. Seeing his name on the paper had brought a smile to her face; it had been years since she’d seen him.
She’d be in Paris to visit her parents anyway, it would be a crime not to go.
She’d quickly written to him to say congratulations, and Julien had texted back a thank you. Moments later, he’d texted her something she’d expected. 
Not sure if you’re still in touch with Kylian, but if you can let him know about the wedding, that’d be great. We haven’t seen each other in ages!
Unsurprisingly, the response she’d gotten from Kylian was a firm and resounding no. 
“Why not?” She’d asked over the phone.
“Because of a lot of things, Y/N” There was a lot of chatter from Kylian’s end, she had caught him just as he’d entered the locker room after a grueling match. 
“Well, what are those things?” She’d asked. 
“I can’t just go to a wedding” He’d grumbled. “Haven’t been able to do that in years, in fact. I  have to think about bringing security and all that stuff”
She’d expected he’d say that, so her response was quick. “So bring your bodyguard. I’m sure Julien and his fiance won’t mind”
“And let someone leak a story to the press about how I’m a stuck up asshole who brings a hundred people with him everywhere he goes?” He’d snorted. “No thanks”
She’d rolled her eyes. “I don’t think anyone we grew up with would do that, Kylian”
“How would I know? I haven’t spoken to those people in years” 
“I haven’t either.”
“Exactly” He’d said. “Let’s just not go. It’s Ousmane’s birthday party that weekend  anyway. Actually, he said to tell you that you should come”
She’d frowned. “So you’d rather go to a party than to your childhood friend’s wedding?”
“It’s just a wedding Y/N” He’d said, his tone weary. “People get married all the time”
She couldn’t believe how mean and dismissive he was being.
“And get divorced all the time” He’d continued, letting out a humorless chuckle. “The stats on that are crazy, actually. Someone should let Julien know”
“What? Kylian, that’s so harsh. Why are you talking like that?” She was starting to get angry now.
“I’m not being harsh. Just honest” He’d said “Look, the last thing I need right now is to go to a public event, okay? I’m sick of people asking me about where I’ll be next year, and I’m sure as hell sick of having a hundred cameras pointed at me”
“Ok, then.” She said, her irritation evident in her voice. “You have fun at the party. I’ll go to the wedding.”
“But–”
“Tell Ousmane happy birthday for me”
He’d paused before responding with a resigned “Fine”
They hung up after that, goodbyes curt. She didn’t know what was going on with him, but he’d been very tired and irritable lately. He called less and less, and took longer to text back whenever she reached out.  She suspected it had to do with his contract with PSG, which she knew was nearing its end, but they didn’t speak about things like that. If he had news, he’d tell her. So far he hadn’t said anything, which meant things were probably still up in the air and it was troubling him. She’d chalked it up to that, and was therefore able to quickly move on from the conversation. 
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The day of the wedding arrived, and Y/N found herself at the crowded venue of the wedding reception, wearing a silky blue dress she’d bought a long time ago but had saved for an occasion like this. She was seated next to Manon, a girl who used to live two doors down from her, and Anna, who she knew was Kylian’s first kiss and who she’d consequently been very envious of as a pre-teen. It was great catching up with the two and reminiscing about the old days. It turned out Manon worked in marketing while Anna was a tattoo artist. 
“So, are you and Kylian still friends?” Anna asked, taking a sip from her drink. The toasts had been made, and dinner had been eaten. They were now watching the bride and groom take the floor for their first dance. 
“Yeah” She said. “We’re still friends”
“Well, wave him over then. He looks like he’s lost” Anna nodded towards something behind her. 
Y/N whirled in her seat. Sure enough there was Kylian, his head down, weaving his way through the tables. People looked up to stare with hushed gasps as he passed by them. Y/N raised her arms to wave, and thankfully his bodyguard noticed and started guiding Kylian towards their table. 
“Hi” Kylian said, smiling tightly as he pulled a chair and took a seat.
“Hi” She said. “I thought you weren’t coming”
He shrugged. “You were mad at me”
“And I was right to be” She said, smiling despite herself. He looked handsome, she could tell he’d gotten a fresh cut. 
“Sure” He rolled his eyes before turning to their tablemates. Anna and Manon were briefly starstruck as he greeted them, as if they forgot they’d grown up with him. The initial awkwardness wore off quickly though, and before long they were all chatting animatedly. 
“Remember when you two–” Manon chuckled,  gesturing between Kylian and Anna.
“Ah, yes. When we dated for a whopping two days in the seventh grade” Anna laughed. “I do remember that” 
Kylian laughed along with her, shaking his head in embarrassment. 
Y/N couldn’t help but snicker. “Two days? What happened?”
Kylian opened his mouth to respond but Anna beat him to it. “We kissed one day, and then the next day was valentine's day. I found out he gave you a card, while I got nothing. So I dumped him”
Y/N gasped, elbowing Kylian. “Oh my god, I remember that. Those anonymous valentine’s cards we did in class. That was the first year someone sent me one, I was dying to find out who it was. I didn’t know it was you”
“Oh, we all knew” Manon said while Anna nodded in agreement. 
“Everyone knew he had a crush on you”  Anna said. “At least everyone except for me. I found out after the whole card thing”
Kylian said nothing, keeping his eyes trained on the bride and groom as they swayed. 
“Okay, so what happened after that?” Y/N pressed. She was flushed. If only her twelve year old self had that information. “Did you two ever talk again?”
Kylian finally turned to her, a hint of a smile on his lips. “Not really. I acted like it never happened” He grimaced at Anna. “Sorry about that, by the way”
Anna laughed. “You were the ultimate heartbreaker, Kylian!”
He chuckled, but there was a flicker of something in his eyes that made Y/N’s heart skip. “Yeah, well, I got my karma back, don't worry.”
“What do you mean?” Anna asked curiously. 
He hesitated before answering. “I’ve had my fair share of heartbreaks, is all”
Y/N looked down at her lap, idly fiddling with her jewelry. The cynic within her had convinced her that Kylian didn’t care for her in that way. She’d allowed herself to believe he wanted her only for her body, just another fleeting fling in a long line of them. But his behavior over the past couple of months had made it clear that her own insecurities had clouded her judgment. She had the person she cherished most right in front of her—the boy she had loved since she was twelve—and yet she had pushed him away.
As she watched the bride and groom twirl, doubt grew inside of her. Was that kind of love even possible for her? Could she ever meet someone she cared for as deeply as she did for Kylian? The thought felt almost laughable. In her heart of hearts she knew that there would never be anyone else who could fill that space in her life.
Suddenly, the DJ switched to an upbeat song and people started to flock to the dance floor, eager to join the bride and groom. Manon and Anna went off as well, leaving just the two of them at the table. 
Y/N nudged Kylian gently.“Dance with me?”
He looked at her with an apologetic look, wordlessly shaking his head no. He looked tense, evidently very aware of being in public. 
Y/N visibly deflated. She wanted to be in on all the fun, but Kylian clearly wasn’t up for it. Oh, well. He did come here for me. I don’t need to make him even more uncomfortable, she thought. 
She smiled tightly at him, hoping he couldn’t see her disappointment. But of course he did. 
He hesitated before grabbing her hand and standing up, pulling her out of her chair. “Let’s go”
She grinned, her heart fluttering as  they made their way to the dance floor. Sometimes, when he did things like this purely to make her happy, the walls she’d built around her feelings for him would break down, sending her heart into a joyful spin.
They got to dancing, laughter bubbling between them as she playfully teased him about his abysmal dancing skills. 
“You just want me to be publicly humiliated huh?” He grumbled, a mock pout on his face. 
Just then, the song changed to a slow ballad. They froze, exchanging uncertain glances. It was only couples around them now, slowly moving to the romantic song playing. 
“What now?” Kylian asked, his voice low.
She stepped closer, wordlessly wrapping her hands around his neck. Her breath hitched when she felt his hands land on her hips.  They swayed to the song,  shifting their eyes  away from each other whenever their eye contact got too intense. His fingertips on her hips felt like they weighed tons. She wondered if he wanted to kiss her; she knew she’d let him if he tried. She’d fantasized about it more times than she could count.
Suddenly, she bumped into someone’s back. They’d been so focused on each other they’d completely lost track of their surroundings, it seemed. She turned around, ready to apologize, but froze when she saw who it was.
“Lucas?” She said incredulously. 
He had a different haircut than the last time she saw him, but it was definitely him.
Kylian's grip on her tightened slightly. “You’ve got to be kidding me” He muttered under his breath.
Lucas’ eyes lit up in recognition. “Y/N, wow. How are you?”
“I’m good” She said, forcing a smile.“ Crazy running into you here”
He smiled a fake smile, pointing to his dance partner, who she hadn’t noticed until then. “My girlfriend is co-workers with the bride”
She greeted his girlfriend, who was nice enough. 
“So you two finally got together, huh?” Lucas said. Y/N could tell he’d had a little bit too much to drink by the way he was swaying on his feet.  He leaned closer to Kylian, making it known the next part was just for him. “Better have her on a tight leash,  or she’ll start emotionally cheating on you”
Kylian recoiled at his words. “That’s not a bigger red flag than breaking up with a person over the phone, or thinking of women as animals you put a leash on” He gave a pointed look to Lucas’ partner. “He’s in the habit of doing that, by the way”
Poor girl looked like she wanted to disappear. 
Y/N felt disgusted. “Can we not do this here?” she said to Lucas. “It’s a wedding.”
Lucas shrugged, unfazed. “Just looking out for the guy. He should know what he’s getting into.”
Kylian stepped closer, a protective stance forming. “She can speak for herself, Lucas. And right now, she’s not interested in your opinion.”
Y/N suddenly noticed that some of the wedding guests had their eyes on them, clearly having noticed Kylian on the dance floor. They had their phones out, no doubt ready to send social media ablaze with pictures of Kylian and a ‘mystery woman’. Without thinking, she stepped away from Kylian and his hands fell away from her hips. 
He gave her a hurt look, confusion etched on his face.  “Y/N…”
“There you go!” Lucas laughed. “She doesn’t even want you to touch her”
Kylian gave Lucas the dirtiest look she’d ever seen him give to someone. “Fuck you” 
He turned on his heel and strode away without waiting for a response, his bodyguard trailing closely behind him adding a dramatic effect.
She made to follow him, but he disappeared into the crowd quickly. She turned to Lucas angrily. 
“You’re disgusting, you know”
He opened his mouth to say something, but she stormed off. 
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She found him taking pictures with a group of people, dimples and charisma on full display. Someone even pulled out a jersey—though she couldn’t quite fathom why someone would bring that to a wedding. Still, he signed it with a gracious smile, effortlessly charming everyone around him.
“Kylian” She said as she stepped closer. “Can we talk?”
“Sure” He said, his smile fading slightly as he excused himself from the group. 
“Look, I’m really sorry” She said. “It’s not that I don't want to be seen with you or anything. It’s just –”
“No, it’s fine” He said unconvincingly. 
“It’s not fine” She said earnestly. “That was really inconsiderate of me. Especially since you were standing up to that asshole for me. Thank you for that, by the way”
He shrugged. “That’s what he deserved” 
My sweet Kylian, she thought.
She enveloped him in a hug, taking in the smell of his cologne. He hugged her back, albeit somewhat hesitantly. She could tell something was still bothering him.
“Kylian, are you okay?” She asked, pulling away. “You’ve seemed off for a while now”
“I’m okay” He said, looking at the ground. “Just a bit stressed is all”
She looked at him empathetically. “Tell me”
“Well, for starters, I shouldn’t be in public right now”
She frowned, feeling guilty. “I know, it’s a lot–”
“No, it’s not just that. That I can prepare myself for.” He said. “It’s because there’s a video announcing my departure from PSG that’s going to be released–” He paused to look at his watch. “-- In about 20 minutes, so…”
She stared incredulously. “What?”
“I said there’s a video–”
“You’re leaving PSG?” She said in a hushed yet raised tone.
“Yes” He affirmed.
“And it’s going to be announced in 20 minutes?” 
“Yes” He repeated. 
“And you’re in a packed wedding full of proud Parisians” She stated the obvious. “One week after crashing out of the Champions League”
He nodded, then yelped when she smacked his arm. 
“Kylian, why the hell did you come?” 
“Because I wanted to make you happy” He said simply, rubbing his arm.
She didn’t know whether to smack him again or kiss his beautiful lips. She decided on neither.
“Let’s get out of here then” She said, already dragging him to the exit. “Before the video is released and all hell breaks loose”
“But we haven’t even talked to Julien!”
“You’ll send him an expensive gift” She said, sounding determined. 
He chuckled, letting her lead the way.
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They were in his car, his driver speeding away from the wedding venue. She watched him look out the window, the city lights casting a yellow glow over his skin. He looked less stressed, but she still thought there was something going on with him.
“So, where are you going?” 
“Hmm?” He pulled his eyes away from the window, seemingly jolted out of his thoughts. 
“Where are you going to play next?” She asked.
“Take a guess”
“Uh, let’s see, Leeds United?” She teased. 
He rolled his eyes. “You know where”
She squealed, launching herself across the backseat to give him yet another hug. “Real Madrid? Oh my god! Congratulations, Ky”
“Thanks” He giggled, hugging her back tightly. “I’m really excited”
“You should be! This is your childhood dream” She pulled back to look at him, her eyes wide with excitement. “Remember that winter you abandoned me to go visit them?”
“Well you’re getting back at me for that now” He said with a sad smile.
“Hm?”
“You’re moving back here” He clarified. “While I’m going there. You’re the one doing the abandoning this time”
“Oh” She said, understanding. “About that, I, uh–I’m not moving anymore”
He froze. “What?”
 “ I mean, I was going to, but… things changed. I got a promotion at my job, and the pay raise means I actually get more than what I’d earn at the new job here, so I told them I’m not gonna go for it”
He lets out a strange laugh. It’s near hysterical, but it stops as abruptly as it starts. “So you’re not moving back? You’re staying in Madrid?”
“Yes” She said slowly. “I’m staying in Madrid”
“Cool” He fidgets in his seat, his fingers tapping lightly against the armrest “Great”
He looked out the window again, then turned back to her, his face breaking into a huge grin.
“What?” She giggled. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“I’m just really happy you’re staying” 
“Why?” She knew why, she just wanted to hear him say it.
“I wanted better for Luna” He exhaled loudly, as if this was a concerning issue he’d thought long and hard about. “ I hear the cat food here sucks”
She burst out laughing. She didn’t know what, but she could tell something just shifted between them. 
“You know, I haven’t been back in a while” He said. “To Bondy”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah” He said thoughtfully. “You just reminded me, when you mentioned that time I went to visit Madrid”
“Why don’t we stop by?” She said, her eyes lighting up. 
He paused for a moment, contemplating. 
“I don’t have anywhere else to be. Let’s do it” He said finally. 
He told his driver, and they went on their way. They sat in silence for most of the drive to the suburbs, both lost in their own thoughts.
“Oh!” Kylian’s eyes lit up suddenly. He pulled something from the console. “I forgot to give you this”
“What is it?”
“Belated graduation gift” He said as he handed her a small gift bag. She’d graduated from her masters program a couple weeks ago.
She beamed,  pulling out a jewelry box from the bag. “You didn’t have to” She cooed.
“Liar”
“You’re right, I love gifts” She grinned.
Her eyes widened when she revealed the pair of earrings. “ Kylian, wow” 
She looked at him in disbelief as she held up the jewelry delicately. “They’re so beautiful”
“I got them from Cameroon, when I visited last year” He explained. 
There was a card nestled amongst the wrapping of the earrings, small enough that she almost missed it. 
“Oh, there’s a card” She said as she picked it up.
Kylian’s eyes widened, reaching out to take it from her hand. “Wait, no—”
She leaned away from him to avoid his grasp, her smile almost fading as she read what was written:
“Y/N,
I don’t know if you’ll ever see this, but right now I’m in Cameroon, and I’m heartbroken. 
Maman thinks I should call you. Tchaga and all the others think I’m annoying because all I do is sulk.
We visited a traditional market today. I saw these earrings, and I thought of you immediately. They’re made by female artisans, which I think you’ll like.
 I love you, I think it’s ruining my life.
–K”
She looked up, the last sentence reverberating in her head, almost drowned out by the pounding of her heart. 
She didn’t know what to say, just looked at Kylian, who was avoiding her gaze.
“I forgot that was there” He said quietly. 
The car came to a halt just then, and Kylian’s driver let them know that they’d arrived at their destination.
They found themselves at the park they frequented as children, where they spent countless afternoons and evenings. They took a seat on a bench, facing a gaggle of children playing football. The park was otherwise empty save for a couple other wanderers, which was unusual for a summer’s evening. Y/N wasn’t  complaining though; fewer people meant less chances of Kylian being spotted.
They seemed out of place in their formal clothes; her in her silk maxi dress, and him in his suit.  She stole glances of his side profile as they watched the kids’ game, marveling at his beauty: his big brown eyes, the strong nose he’d inherited from his mother, and those pink, pouty lips. More than 10 years of knowing him and yet he still managed to take her breath away.
He turned to her suddenly. “What’s on your mind?”
She decided to be honest. “I was thinking about how pretty you are”
“Pretty?” He chuckled.
“Yeah. Pretty” 
“Don’t think anyone’s used that word to describe me before” He said.
“Well I have” She said. “Many times before – in my head”
“Me too,” He admitted, his gaze warm. “I’ve called you pretty. Also many times —in my head.”
She grinned at him. It was impossible not to. “Speaking of pretty, I want to try those earrings!”
She pulled them from their box, quickly removing the ones she was already wearing and carefully putting on the new pair. Kylian took an exaggerated double take, his eyes widening. “Qué hermosa!” 
She snorted. “ Working on your Spanish, I see”
“I’m already fluent, cherie” He winked at her as he pulled out his phone and quickly snapped a picture of her. 
A loud cheer erupted from the kids; someone had just scored a goal. Y/N and Kylian briefly turned their attention back to the game, smiling at the infectious joy of the kids as they rushed to one another for a group hug. The celebrations gradually faded, and the children returned to their positions to continue the game.
She swallowed hard. “Did you mean that?”
“Mean what?” Kylian dragged his eyes away from the game. It didn’t matter if it was being played by a bunch of 10 year olds, football was still his favorite thing. It was quite endearing, actually. 
“What you wrote on the card” She said quietly. 
“Yes” He met her eyes. “I do”
“What did you mean– what do you mean when you said it’s ruining your life?” She asked.
He took a deep breath before answering. He had a pained look on his face. “It’s just – I don’t know, it feels like torture sometimes, not having you. First it was the whole time you were with Lucas when I was pining after you, and then it felt like I had you, but you ran away. Let me tell you, those couple months after that when we weren’t speaking were the worst of my life.” He took a shaky breath. “And whatever we are now, just friends, it’s never going to be enough”
“Kylian..”
“And I was speaking to Papa” He continued, ignoring her. He scooted closer to her, eyes so intense. “He told me to take a leap of faith. To cut out all the bullshit and tell you I love you.  So here I am, I guess. I want you to tell me what you truly want. Not what you think you should want, or what other people want for you. What you really, really want. Because if it’s me? I’m all in, Y/N” 
He took her hand, gently opening up her palm. “Because you’ve had my heart here” He traced his index finger over her palm. “Ever since I met you at my birthday party all those years ago. It’s always been you for me. There will never be anyone else”
Y/N didn’t respond immediately,  lifting his hand that was on hers to her lips and kissing his trembling fingers. “Just so you know, I’ve wanted you as long as I’ve known you. And you’re right, maybe all of the excuses I was telling you and myself were lies. Because I was scared. I thought if we did this and it didn’t work out, I’d end up losing you forever. I didn’t want that, Ky. But how would we know if we don’t try? We have to try, right?” She paused. “I really want to try”
Kylian let out a relieved laugh at her words. They were so close to each other, their faces mere inches apart. He cupped her face with his hands, caressing her cheeks in a way only he could. She closed her eyes, basking in his touch. She felt gentle kisses on each of her eyelids.
“Yes” She heard him murmur. “I want to try”
They closed what little distance was between their lips, kissing passionately. All the tension, all the unspoken feelings that had been brewing for ages seemed to dissolve in that moment. It felt like releasing air after holding her breath for a long time. It felt like relief.
“Wait, there’s someone taking pictures” Kylian muttered as he pulled away.
“I don’t care” She said, chasing his lips with hers.
To her annoyance, he pulled away again. “But you–”
“I said I don’t care” She mumbled, kissing him again. She felt him smile against her lips.
They left the park after the game ended, satisfied and at peace. Hands intertwined, lips swollen from kissing. She thought about the kids that they used to be, the ones who used to run to the very same park everyday after school. Oh how they’ve grown,  how they’ve changed. 
Inside the car, she turned to him, her heart steadying after a long while of drumming loudly. “So, what now?”
His gaze was unwavering. “ No more running away.”
"No more running away" She repeated softly, leaning her head against his shoulder and closing her eyes.
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A/N: Aaand thats it folks. hope you like this last part <3 i'm working on an epilogue though so stay tuned for that. as always lmk what you think in the comments or in my inbox. thank you for reading!
tags: @kyliansonlygf @ynkfreeastheocean @scottishthistle @user6373738 @lucysantos6-blog @tuliptopiasstuff @kennasutopia @cinderellawithashoe @akiracim @kymb-10 @germanapples @ariesmai @edgyficuselastica
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I AM SEEN
PART 5 OF THE UNSEEN SERIES: A HARLEQUIN AU FANFICTION
AU credit @iamespecter @tadc-harlequin-au
Shadowblade is my OC and NOT CANON
MOTSI by @paper-fowl
WARNING: some angst, swearing
~~~
"Welcome back." Caine smiled at the slowly waking Shadowblade. "And congratulations. I saw you break free."
Shadowblade lowly rumbled and leaned into his kind touch, still feeling the stressing fear of her dreamlike experience. For the first time, she noticed the warmth of his hand. It was so subtle, barely noticeable against her thick hide, but there. Comfort.
Caine was slid sideways from Shadowblade nuzzling against him. He steadied himself and gave her an empathetic look. "I'm sorry. For everything I ever said about your creators. I never realized... I should have been more thorough when we first brought you back, I was so wrapped up in how different you were that I didn't stop to ask why. Can you ever forgive me?" He looks directly into Shadowblade's bright gold eyes, seeing vines of black on the edges. A large dark spot formed a slitted pupil, the illusion of a real eye.
Shadowblade closed her eyes and nuzzled against Caine a little harder. He had no way of knowing who she was, she barely understood it now with all the memories swimming around in her head.
Caine laughed, trying to push back against the overpowering affection. "Okay, okay, thank you for being so underst-"
Shadowblade opened her maw and a large black tongue dragged up Caine's front, leaving a trail of strangely yellow saliva. She shook her head happily, flopping her tongue all over the place. There was a sense of taste again. Her own mouth tastes of metal and grime but it was nice to have the sensation back.
Caine stood stunned by the unexpected tongue attack. "Well, uh, I'm glad you're excited." He wiped his face.
Pomni stood watch outside with Jax, Gangle and their newest marionette addition: MOTSI, the snake-like bullet train. The train sat coiled around a smaller building across the street, waiting patiently for instructions on it's next destination. Pomni kept a vigilante eye out for hostile marionettes but the area was as quiet as ever. The charm on her right hand came to life with a soft glow, mixed feelings of fear and relief growing into happiness. "Shadowblade!" She gasped and rushed inside.
Pomni walked in on Caine being nearly slurped off his feet by Shadowblade. "Woah! Since when have you had one of those?" Pointing to the tongue lolling out the side of Shadowblade's maw. She barely had time to react as Shadowblade lunged at her. "Hey! No! Shadowblade! Down!" But it was too late, she got tongued. Her hair stuck out sideways from the thick saliva. "....thanks." She grumbled, but couldn't hold her sour face with Shadowblade nuzzling against her aggressively. "Good to see you too."
Shadowblade calmed and rumbled against Pomni, who leaned her forehead against Shadowblade's face in return.
Caine held out a handkerchief to Pomni. "I did what I could to get Shadowblade walking again, but there's nothing I can do for the wing until we get back to the manor."
Pomni accepted the handkerchief and wiped her face. "Good thing we have another mode of transportation waiting outside. The center cars of the MOTSI are quite large. I think we could make Shadowblade fit."
"I'm ready to get out of here if you are. This place gives me the creeps." Caine shuddered dramatically.
"And you didn't even see the basement."
"The what now?"
"It wasn't this warehouse, but we found the basement Shadowblade came from. We think. We were attacked before we could really make heads or tails of the place."
"Show me."
~
Shadowblade followed Caine and Pomni to the warehouse where the showdown with the silver beast began. The roof was completely collapsed, but Shadowblade made short work of the debris blocking the basement. Unhindered by confusing memories, she marched ahead of Caine and Pomni into the depths.
The wide spiralling stairs led down to a decrepit laboratory. Much of the equipment was destroyed beyond recognition. Shrapnel of multi colored crystals littered the floor. The dark, lonely basement was lit my Shadowblade's blazing eyes scanning the surroundings.
Caine whistles lowly. "The son did a number on this place."
"That's the second time you've mentions a son. What are you talking about?" Pomni asked.
"Back at the manor, I tapped into the void and found the soul responsible for all of this. He mentioned one other like Shadowblade. Called him the 'traitorous son'. I can only assume, but the Master- Don't give me that look. His words, not mine. Anyway, after the success of Shadowblade, the Master used his own son to create another, but somehow lost control."
"The silver beast."
"Yep."
"That thing was insane. Shots energy beams and everything."
"Energy beams? ....if the Master wasn't such a raging piece of shit, I'd say he was a man after my own heart."
"Don't get any ideas. Shadowblade needs time away from cutting tools and invasive procedures."
"I wasn't. Besides, I don't think there anything salvageable down here." Caine kicked a small piece of debris.
Shadowblade moved slowly through the lab. The place looked entirely different but it felt the same: claustrophobic, violating, painful. Towards the back, there were two excessively large rooms with thick metal doors. A name plate was on each: Silverwind and Warshroud.
The name Warshroud brought back the memories of the lab. Being trapped, torn apart, disoriented and isolated. The undeniable directive to obey.
Shadowblade bared her blades on her undamaged wing and lashed at the door. In a shower of sparks, a huge slash mark crossed out the name of Warshroud.
~
The MOTSI train slithered towards the City of Circuits at top speed. It's belly was nearly frictionless against the ground as energy surged with it's movements. Jax rode atop the train's head, thoroughly enjoying himself. Gangle preferred to stay in the control car, she could see the world zipping by just fine through the window.
Caine and Pomni rode in one of the cargo cars with Shadowblade. The dragonesque puppet was a tight fit, but they made it work.
"Jax says we could be back in the City of Circuits in as little as an hour. Man, we should've grabbed one of these snake trains sooner." Caine leaned against the wall, crossing his legs.
Pomni gave a non-committal hum to Caine's comment. She was focused on Shadowblade, reaching out through the connection. "What's your real name?"
Shadowblade didn't have an answer. She shook her head.
"Do you remember everything about your last life?"
Shadowblade titled their head side to side in an unsure gesture.
Caine added his own question. "So you want to remain a dragon? I'm quite the puppet builder. I could make you a new body."
Shadowblade looked down, eyes moving with thought. She shook.
"Really?" Caine said, somewhat surprised. "I mean, I respect your decision, but can I ask why?"
Shadowblade thought again, then shook.
Pomni smiled. "She says you're rude for asking."
"She did not." Caine huffed defensively. "It was a legitimate question. Communication is pretty limited like this."
"Seems to be working so far." Pomni shrugged. "Maybe you're not listening enough."
"Like you would know anything about that." Caine muttered under his breath.
"Oh, I listen. I just don't care."
"Dismissing what other people have to say is just as bad." Caine argued.
"Doing my own thing has gotten me this far. It'll keep getting me where I need to be." Pomni moved closer to Caine.
"I had hoped you'd understand the meaning of teamwork at this point. I'm sorry to say I'm sorely disappointed." Caine didn't budge, not letting the Harlequin intimidate him.
"I'm not here for your approval." Pomni would've turned away, but she stumbled right into Caine. Sharowblade had batted her from behind. Feelings of smug satisfaction came through the connection.
Caine caught Pomni as she fell into him. Their faces close, Caine smirks. "We really should stop meeting like this."
Pomni stood up straight with a flustered huff. "I'm going to check on Gangle." She slid open the door leading to the forward car and left.
"Thanks." Caine rubbed his neck. "Sometimes we get caught up in our own egos, but there's rarely any real malice behind it all."
Shadowblade sent a feeling through the connection with Pomni that could be summed up as "I know your secrets."
~
The MOTSI parked itself around the border wall of the manor. Their long body easily goes around the entire property, their head and tail almost touching near the gate. The train doors open to let out the passengers, but Shadowblade's struggles to get out as much as they did to get it.
She claws at the ground, metal grinding against metal as she slowly squeezes out. With a thunk, she flies forward and scorpions on the ground outside the train.
Caine walks out behind her, chuckling. "Smooth."
Shadowblade snorts at him as she gets up.
Jax slides off MOTSI's head. "This is your new station. Stay here." The snake powered down it's eyes, going into sleep mode until another trip was required.
Gangle gracefully exited the train, happy to be in safer territory again. "You simply must tell me how you learned to operate these, Sir Jax."
"Not like it hard." He shrugged. "Most of it's voice command. Say, why don't you come with me," He put an arm over her shoulders. "And I'll teach you."
"Just me?" Gangle asked shyly.
"Well, I'm not inviting Pomni. She doesn't take commands very well." He led her off towards the manor, but called out to Caine as they passed. "Hey, I'll be expecting my payment soon."
Caine rolled his eyes. He'd actually almost forgotten. Of course Jax wouldn't.
Pomni joined Caine with Shadowblade to the barn. He looked around, it wasn't a bad place but it wasn't befitting a person. "I'll talk to Z about getting this place upgraded. You may have to sleep in specialized quarters, but that doesn't mean you should be stuck with the dirt. Yet another thing I feel inclined to apologize for."
Pomni avoided eye contact with Shadowblade, but the emotion came through loud and clear in the connection. Guilt. She's treated Shadowblade like an animal at best, a tool at worst. Regret stabbed at the back of her mind.
Shadowblade looked from one to the other, and using a single claw, wrote in the dirt. "F-R-I-E-N-D"
"I'm glad you consider us friends, even after everything." Caine felt like he could breathe easier. "You've been through so much to get to this point. You know what that calls for? A celebration!"
"A party? Now?" Pomni and the others had been up for over twenty four hours. There was no way anyone was in the mood to party.
"No, no, tomorrow! It should be a whole day dedicated to celebrating the enlightenment of our newest member. Especially since we didn't even know it was possible."
"....you just want to drink all day."
"No! I-"
Shadowblade gave him the same look as Pomni.
Caine sighed, defeated. "I just want to drink. Can you blame me? I have some new guilt to suppress. And who knows, maybe Shadowblade can drink too. Worth a try, I'd say. Anyway, you should rest, Shadowblade. I'll be out to fix your wing later. Pomni, a word?"
Pomni gave Shadowblade's one last look before leaving with Caine. A feeling of calm resolve sent through. She followed Caine as he walked out of earshot of everyone, towards the edge of the woods filling the manor grounds.
"Pomni, are you alright? You mentioned encountering HIM."
"I'm fine... He didn't touch me." She remembered the oppressive force of the Patriarch's soul. The fear it instilled in her was unmatched and unnatural. She hated herself for being such a coward in his presence.
"I know, but he doesn't need to in order to affect you."
Pomni crossed her arms in an attempt to appear stoic, but the subconscious self soothing motion made it obvious she was uncomfortable. "He took the core of the silver beast and the journal of information connected to project Warshroud. He's planning something. Something big. We need to be more careful going forward."
Caine was shocked. "Be more careful? From you?"
"Yeah....well, he could've killed me or taken Shadowblade or both, but he didn't. Maybe he thought that would be too easy. Look, I've met death a lot over in my time with you, and I've never feared it, but being around the Patriarch...makes me afraid. I don't know what he's capable of, but something tells me I wouldn't even see the void if he ended me."
Caine gently took Pomni's hands, uncrossing them from her chest. His thumbs caressed her knuckles soothingly. "That won't happen."
Pomni didn't have the energy to argue or pull away, not that she wanted to. Not this time. She quietly reveled in his comfort. "How can you be so sure?"
"Because I won't let him take you away from me."
"You're such a sap." Pomni tried to sound harsh but her voice carried no such tone.
"You have no idea." He said quietly. "No plans for tomorrow aside from getting drunk. Rest as much as you need."
"You really care, don't you?" Her gaze softened.
"I do." His hands gently squeezed hers.
"Simp."
Caine snorted and bust out laughing, Pomni with him.
~
Shadowblade sat in the barn entrance, gazing at the stars. Their wings in one piece, freshly mended by Caine, she flexed them while taking in the night sky. The memories were still a lot to take in. Coming to the forefront of her mind in bursts. Sometimes she was a child. Sometimes an adult. Sometimes joyous. Sometimes afraid. Sometimes full of sorrow. A lifetime condensed into one D.I.E. How did it ever hold it all?
Lights from the manor gradually dimmed as the residents went to bed. Even Kingr retreated to his single quarters next to the barn for the night. The only one that remained was Z. They never slept.
Shadowblade wasn't tired in the slightest. In fact, she had energy. She wanted to go somewhere. She stepped fully out of the barn and stretched her wings. The night was young, the air was fresh and the wind was calm. Perfect conditions. She jumped up into the air and beat her wings for a vertical launch. The oversized manor below became small as she gained more and more altitude quickly, reaching for the stars themselves.
She grazed the underside of a thin cloud before changing to an outward glide. She flew high over the City of Circuits. The dark city is illuminated by only the moonlight. The rush of the wind washed away all that plagued her below. Up here, she was truly free. No Masters. No cages. No saddles.
Shadowblade roared with elation. The buildings below echo back the joyous noise. She flew higher. Tucking her wings in as she punched through the clouds, coming face to face with the moon. She reached out, as though to touch it, and fell back first through the clouds again. She turned to nose dive at the ground. Air rushing past faster, and faster. The City beckoned to her, but she denied it. She opens her wings and swooped over the highest building by mere feet. She weaved between and around the taller structures, and under a wide bridge. She couldn't be stopped. She was free!
She flew all the way out of the city limits, to the rocky formations that lay in the lands between cities. Shadowblade landed gracefully on the highest point, only slipping a little as she settled. Her systems vented hard from the flight as she surveyed her surroundings. The world was still beautiful in its own way. Quiet. Peaceful.
Her mind wandered to the plethora of unprocessed memories. A repeated word came to her in many of them.
Badorman.
Miss Badorman.
People with faces she did not know said that name over and over, until the woman she met in her dream came to mind. Mother did not call her Badorman. In memories of simple joy and harshest sorrow, she heard "Scarlet."
"My beautiful Scarlet."
Shadowblade whimpered. A tear of black fluid escaped her mechanical eye.
"I wish we had more time."
Shadowblade tried to speak, but her unfamiliar tongue lulled weirdly in her inhuman mouth. All that came out was mechanical whirring and screeching from the shredder in the back of her throat. She stomped, quaking the rock she sat upon and growled.
"Scarlet...be good for me."
Shadowblade kept hearing the voice of her mother. Memories playing in her head like a broken film. She was in a room that smelled of medicine and flowers, holding mother's hand. Mother was in bed. She was frail, but not from age. Disease had ravaged her body.
"I wish there was more I could leave you, but the war has taken everything...at least you found yourself a good station. I will rest well knowing my daughter is not on the street."
Shadowblade whined and screeched, more black tears fell.
"I love you."
Shadowblade went still. Mother's hand went limp; gone silently into that good night. The last person to love her was gone. Black tears stained the stone below.
The following memories rushed by in a blur. Servitude. Forced obedience. War. The blood of hundreds. Silence. Left in the dark. Suspended alone. Eternal. Then a break in the stone that held. A voice that demanded battle.
"Take THAT! Some creature of legend you were! I've had worse fights with Bubble!" The woman's voice taunted.
Shadowblade looked in the direction of the manor, seeing a few pin prick lights still lit.
"You can't just give up!" "Get up! I know there's more in you than that!!" "Come on!"
Pomni the combat harlequin spoke truth, even to her enemies. There was more in Shadowblade, and Pomni saw it from the beginning. She broke the bonds. She opened the cage. Shadowblade just had to be brave enough to step through. No, not Shadowblade.
Scarlet Badorman. Born a servant, remade a weapon, reborn a puppet. More powerful than she's ever been.
Scarlet raised her wings high, gold energy surging through the blades. She roared triumphant to the sky, gold energy mixing with streaks of dark mist in her maw. The ball of energy released like a firework high into the sky and exploded with the percussive force of a large bomb. Gold sparks rained down and disappeared into the night.
Scarlet felt more connected to herself than ever before. She knew who she was. She could accept what she became. No matter what name the world tried to put on her, she was Scarlet.
She took off into the night, taking a few more laps around the city to the manor. She landed as quietly as she could outside the walls, entering the gated property by Z's post.
"Have a nice flight?" Z asked, with light interest edging their voice.
Scarlet nodded and held out her front paw. Between her toes she held a smooth rock she found on the cliff she sat on to do her thinking. She wanted to give it to Z, as they were always one to sit back and think about life.
"Uh..?" Z said as they took the smooth stone.
Scarlet scratched into the earth next to Z. G-I-F-T. She sat up proudly and rumbled.
"I see. Thanks." Z held the stone in one of their smaller hands, saving it for display in their home later, and rolling with the fact that "Shadowblade" was communicating like a coherent person.
Scarlet scratched another message: J-O-I-N-?
"Yeah, sure. You can stay out here if you want. I can't tell you what to do."
Scarlet shuffled her feet excitedly and settled next to Z. They sat in silence, listening to the night.
~
Morning rolled in slowly. The crisp late autumn air left a light layer of frost on the grass. Scarlet and Z's large cores kept them warm, their metal frames steaming lightly. Kingr was first up to jovially wish the night insects a good rest.
"Good morning, you two." Kingr pat Scarlet on the head.
Scarlet accepted the pat. Even if he knew she was human, she would still appreciate the affection.
"Anything to report?" Kinger asked.
"Nope. Another quiet night." Z drolled.
"Probably because you had this one standing guard with you. No one would want to mess with a duo like you two. Well, I'm off to study my strategies. Do let me know if I'm needed." Kingr slid away towards the woods.
A few hours later, Caine came out with Bubble. The butler blimp set up chairs in the garden as Caine laid out small crates of bottles full of what could only be assumed at liquor. Scarlet came over, careful not to step on any of the delicate plant life and greeted him with a chuff.
"Morning! Hope last night wasn't too cold for you."
Scarlet gestured towards the barn.
"I'll talk to Z about renovations today and get the ball rolling, don't worry-"
Scarlet gripped his sleeve with her maw and pulled him along gently.
"Oh-! You want to show me something?"
In the packed dirt of the barn Scarlet scratched: S-C-A-R-L-E-T B-A-D-O-R-M-A-N
Caine's eyes widened. "SB...You remember?"
Scarlet nodded.
"Incredible....and somewhat tragic. Reliving everything. How do you feel about being called Shadowblade?"
N-I-C-K-N-A-M-E
"That's a pretty badass nickname, but I'd understand if you wouldn't be comfortable with Pomni continuing to be your rider."
F-U-N
"Heh, depends on your definition of fun. I'll have to see if I can come up with a new way of communication for you. Because of your unique construction, I'm not sure where I'd even install a voice box." Caine tapped his chin.
Scarlet shrugged. She was still getting used to the very concept of regaining her humanity, and it was already overwhelming. So many emotions and sensations and memories to process.
"But we don't have to worry about all that today. Today, is about you being fully introduced to everyone as a puppet. Not just some stray marionette."
Scarlet bumped her maw against Caine's arm. Grateful that he was so supportive.
Caine rested a hand on her face the way he always did. "You're awfully affectionate. That's a refreshing change of pace. Many puppets are adverse to touch when they first start enlightening. The new sensations are quite scary and overstimulating. Maybe your size works in your favor here. Kingr's probably the only one that could give you a proper hug."
Scarlet snuggled against him, scooping him up and sliding him down her neck to her unsaddled back.
"Woah! Haha! Playful too. Looking back on your behavior patterns, It's a wonder I didn't see this sooner."
~
Everyone else eventually made their way outside to enjoy the nice weather and join Caine for his announcement. He filled everyone in on who Shadowblade really was, including her real name. He raised a taste for her and immediately got to drinking. Scarlet tried to join, awkwardly picking up a bottle and pouring it over her new flesh. The earthy bitterness of the liquor made her cringe. Her whole body shuddered and some black mist involuntarily puffed out of her vents.
Ragatha was the closest she's ever been to Scarlet. She's always been too nervous of the beastial puppet. Even with everything she knew now, it was still hard for her to not be intimidated. "Hello, I'm Ragatha. Nice to meet you, properly." She moved away as Scarlet tried to interact. "Sorry, I-"
Scarlet backed off. Trying not to make things awkward. It was too late.
Gangle saved the moment by bringing out the charm formerly used to control Scarlet. "Caine had to remake it for a ritual, but it's useless now. You deserve the honor of breaking it permanently, Miss Scarlet."
Scarlet looked closely at the cursed charm. A familiar energy radiated from it, making her spikes raise defensively. She opened her mouth and her tongue grabbed the charm. With an unceremonious crack, the stone was destroyed by her shredder. Then she washed down the dusty taste with more earthy liquor.
"Do you want to destroy this one too?" Pomni held up the connection charm attached to her right hand.
Scarlet could feel Pomni's trepidation to even ask. She didn't want the connection to be lost. Neither did Scarlet. Scarlet shook her head before affectionately rubbing against Pomni's face.
Pomni pushed away the large maw. "Yeah, yeah, not in front of everyone." She grumbled.
Scarlet narrowed her eyes mischievously and brought her whole open maw down on Pomni. The harlequin fit inside up to her knees without getting too close to the inactive shredder. She picked up Pomni, holding the small puppet in her mouth smugly.
"WHAT THE FUCK!? LET GO! PUT ME DOWN!" Pomni struggled, unable to unsheathe her sword.
Scarlet's antics got a few laughs, which was enough for her. She was about to put Pomni down gently when the sound of a charging gun came from inside.
"Put. Me. Down." Pomni had transformed her mechanical arm and had it aimed down Scarlet's throat. "Or you're about to have the worst case of indigestion."
Scarlet released Pomni immediately from her sitting height, roughly twelve feet, back into her chair.
Pomni was visibly annoyed, but she always sort of looked like that.
"You okay?" Ragatha tries to hold in a laugh, failing miserably.
"I'm fine. This bitch needs a reminder who she's messing with, apparently." Pomni transformed her hand back.
Scarlet huffed challengingly. Feeling the playful edge to Pomni's words.
"Oh, you want round two? I cracked you open like a walnut the first time we met, have you forgotten that?"
Scarlet took a playful stance, snapping her maw at Pomni, but not too close.
Pomni downed her drink and unsheathed her sword. "LETS GO!" She charged Scarlet, who ran out onto the lawn where they had plenty of open space to spare.
Jax went to bother Caine again about his payment, but a small item flew at his face before he said anything. He caught it, finding it to be a skeleton key of some kind. "What's this?"
"That is a Universal Key. It's a specialized lock pick that should work on just about anything, EXCEPT my workshop door. Don't even try."
"You're no fun, but thanks anyway. I can make use of this." Jax spun the key around a few times before pocketing it.
~
As the day went on; spares where matched, drinks were had, questions were answered. Gangle was especially helpful, being able to see into Scarlet's core and have more visual reference to the limited yes or no answers. Scarlet was surrounded by those who would accept her as she was. Friends. Or frenemies, in Jax's case. Regardless, she felt...happy.
It was almost too much. Black tears teasing the edges of her eyes. She tried to wipe them away but only smacked herself in the face with her paw.
"Ha! Have too much to drink? Bit of a lightweight for your size." Jax teased.
Scarlet snorted at him. She had felt the slightest tingle from the crate of alcohol she consumed, she was nowhere near intoxicated. Not like Caine and Pomni, who couldn't even stand straight anymore.
"Hey! Scarlet-blade!" Pomni slurred out. "Slack jaw over here thinks you can't do a backflip! Prove him wronged!" She tried to push Caine to the side, but he grabbed her arm and they both stumbled over each other. Caine held on to a small tree to steady them both.
"I only said I've never sheen them do it!" Caine giggled back, still holding on to Pomni. "Sheeeee's capabitable, I'm sure."
Scarlet had never thought about it. Maybe she's done one once, but couldn't really recall. Willing to try, she stepped away from the others for space and crouched. She adjusted her stance and pushed hard off the ground. She rotated backwards, landing on her front paws again, but she didn't have enough momentum and he heavy tail dragged her back to the ground. She flopped down on her back with a thud that shook the grounds, earning a chorus of laughter from everyone.
Pomni laughed so hard, she forgot who she was against and held to Caine's chest with uproarious glee.
Scarlet rolled over to right herself, wanting to try again. Zooble stopped her. "You'll have to try that elsewhere or you'll shake the structural integrity out of every building on the property."
Scarlet huffed indignantly, but didn't try again. A strange feeling came through the connection as Scarlet shook the dirt from her body. Desire. She looked over to Pomni, seeing her face to face with Caine. Scarlet didn't want to interrupt their moment, but also didn't know how to shut out the connection and this felt...private.
Scarlet tried to push her embarrassment through and get Pomni's attention, but the alcohol seemed to have done its job and numbed the harlequin to the world around her. The others seemed preoccupied with conversation, paying to mind Caine and Pomni. Ruining the moment it was.
Scarlet went to the fountain in front of the manor and scooped up a mouthful of water. She stomped over to Pomni and dumped the load on both her and Caine. The force of the water knocked them both off their feet.
Pomni unleashed a string of angry, incoherent curses at Scarlet. Caine stayed down, still glowing at the very idea of Pomni being that willingly close to him. Scarlet was relieved the connection felt normal again.
"Seems a bit much." Ragatha commented.
Scarlet nodded. It was much, but MUCH was what was often needed when dealing with Pomni.
With the early setting sun bringing colder air again, the soaked duo retreated inside. They were followed gradually by the others. Kingr wished Scarlet a goodnight and went on his humble abode. Z went to their typical sentry post.
Scarlet nodded a goodnight to Z and went to her barn. With the door closed, she felt cozy and safe. Caine may have felt bad about leaving her in the dirt, but she found it rather comfortable. A few digging scratches to upturn it a bit, few circled paces and she's curled up in a tight ball. Comfy.
While her face wasn't quite capable of smiling, she was certainly smiling on the inside. To be found by this rag tag group of puppets and welcomed by them made her feel so very lucky. Pomni broke her bonds, Caine gave her wings, Kingr showed her there's beauty in all things, Ragatha helped her discover her past, Jax saved her life at great risk to his own, Gangle told her story, and Zooble showed her subtle respect in silence.
One more tear was shed that night. This one she let flow. She has not just found friends...but family.
~
Far away, deep in the heart of the City of Power, machines hummed and hiss. The active factory thrummed with red energy, powered by the one rolling a large D.I.E in his fingers. A crystal was being shaped before him, cut to his specifications.
The Patriarch flipped through the journal pages idly. The cypher was far too easy to crack. Humans were never as clever as they made themselves out to be. Especially those as arrogant as this self proclaimed "Master". How laughable.
He snapped the journal shut as the crystal cutter completed. The bright red crystal stood nine in feet in height and nearly as around. It was ready for implantation. He held the D.I.E against the crystal and surged his energy into it. Flames billowed from his hand, melting the crystal as he forced the D.I.E inside.
He could feel the soul in his hand crying out in agony. Good. Pain was necessary for this to work. He pushed the D.I.E into the center, liquified crystal burning his arm and suit. Once it was in place, the Patriarch pulled his arm free quickly. The imbued energy resolidified the crystal, sealing the D.I.E inside.
The Patriarch shook his hand lightly, shards of crystal rained down from his ruined sleeve. He turned to the mostly constructed, gargantuan beast hanging from thick chains. "Almost ready."
~~~
To be continued...
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pasharuu · 2 years
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welps, since i got a little skrunkling in form of ararycan, lets talk about him. i hope it'll be a short one. (spoiler: no)
also to those who bumped onto my post in their or someone else's dash somehow: english is not my first language. so be ready for numerous "memories" and "forget" cuz my vocabulary is thin just like that. and some other weirdness of course.
first of all, i hate the dottore clone theory with every single cell in my body, and i want you to know that if you like it i dont care, so neither should you care about me hating it. im only speaking opinion here.
and also this is rather my headcanon just not to stay alongside with the mystery while theres a dottore theory around. i honestly dont believe in dottore theory, but i still cant prove it wrong properly due to lack of info, and that annoys me. but this headcanon doesnt attempt to debunk the theory somehow, these are just two completely different things not worth comparing.
but rlly, did anyone on that planet at least once look at ararycan's leaves more than once? cuz it feels like no one knows what is the form of the pattern. the theory followers say these are circles, on my plush these are rounded diamons. wtf dear fellow folks.
the headcanon is trying to explain ararycan's memory loss, as there is no information about this in the game. traveler and paimon just decide that "welp, aranara are forgetful sometimes" though its not really true, but its really odd of them to leave us on this cliffhanger. i once said that aranara never forget stuff unless they meet some certain condition. i didnt explain that well last time so lemme speak a word (although its gonna be long i fear, so once again, the orange text is not necessary)
in the beginning we were given with the idea that aranara dont forget anything, or at least dont forget anything as easily as we do. this was really the very first fact i learned about them since i found messily written notes very soon after i began my first walkthrough of aranyaka (funfact: in russian localization its not clear who is the author of these if you only see the first set of it, and i definitely remember that i was not able to read the next page at a place, so i bet i found it even before meeting arama in the very first time. i also found it in the second time only after completing the entire questline so imagine my face at that moment), and author of the notes says that he doesnt forget things easily, but still decides to make records because its fun to do. basically saying that these lads dont ever need to record things up cuz they remember it all by themselves.
then, during the part where we help guys in mawtiyima forest, we were told about the inscriptions on the walls. aragaru says that these are made only for humans, because aranara will not forget, while people have all the possibility to. all the other inscriptions on walls, if we keep the spoken idea in mind, are clearly made for humans as well. the only weirdness in this part is inscriptions in old vanarana, cuz the only one who needs these during the quest is arama, and its not really clear who these were written to in the first place. but we still cant say these were definitely written for aranara, or maybe i need to research more.
the events of agnihatora sutra and vimana agama are the ones that made people think that aranara are forgetful. the second one is the mystery we are trying to solve in this article, but the first one told you everything you need, but its absolutely understandable if you didnt get it in the first time (neither did i if u wonder). in agnihatora sutra the three are aware that the thing theyre going to commit is gonna make them forget everything, so they were hinting it for us carefully, yet not saying directly that they will forget us. in the very end of this questline they tell us about the sacrifice they're going to commit, and that sacrifice is actually their memories, even though its not shown on screen, unlike the sacrifice of arana's memories to get the bija. that is why we were later told that these guys dont emember us while everyone else do.
also there's the fact araja troubles to remember the events of the past, but this dude actually grew into a tree, and just like i said in the cinnamon arama article, that might be the reason of his memory loss. araja also didnt forget everything that he had expirienced before he became a tree, as sometimes he still recalls to some things as his own memories.
after all, aranara gain actual power with memories and it would be weird if you'd randomly forget stuff and lose yo power just like that. they cherish memories more than anything, either these are good or bad, and the idea of forgetting is terrifying to them (the most memorable to me was the moment when arama complained about alcohol cuz it makes people forget stuff. paimon said that sometimes there are things people want to forget, but arama was still negative about that). well, actually there is a thing they cherish more. this thing is called "friendship", and the idea is that even if you forget something, there will be friends who'll remind you, so thats why they are more dear to aranara, even more than the memories. this is as well the idea of "the forest will remember" thing, cuz aranara are friends to all the plants, animals, some humans and each other, so theres just no possibility for the entire forest (all of these things) to forget something. but that still doesnt remove the importance of memories cuz these are power and these are memories, it'll take a lot of time to gain them back, so losing them is only worth when its absolutely necessary. also remember that stories and memories are not the same, so just summarizing things up to someone wont work.
and that concludes my orange explaination, now back to vimana agama mystery!!!!
so my take is that ararycan mustve sacrificed his memories for something. if we'll try to recreate the chronological order of the events of the past, we'll see that aralohita, who possibly was some sort of a buddy to ararycan, disappears after ararycan lost his memories. or if he lost part of them, its possible that aralohita disappeared prior to that. both versions explain why ararycan still remembers the solution to aralohita's riddles.
ararycan once says that he was the one who brought the ruin golem part into the secret cave, but for now he doesnt seem to be as strong, he rather acts like a very brave weakling. as we know, aranara gain power with memories, so no wonder ararycan is a weakling now, not remembering everything. but still, his awareness about some things looking familiar makes me think that he might have lost part of his memories, but how come?
we know that ararycan most likely was the third one alongside royinjan and amadhiah in the past, so all the vamadhas, including the one that was sealing the secret base, most likely were set after the childhood of the two, which means that might happened not too long ago. that might line up with a fact that pir kavikavus accident happened around the same time, because vamadhas were obviously set for reason. i recall ararycan saying that vamadhas are set when aranara dont want nara to enter some certain places, but says that he doesnt know who set these. so i think that actually could be ararycan, but since he lost his memories, no wonder he doesnt remember about it. and so uh, setting these could be resulted in memory loss as it might take some power. he probably did know that amiti device might be used for no good by some foes, so vamadhas are only set in places that either have amiti device fragments in them or places related to it somehow (and nowhere else, by the way, so vamadha is for sure some kind of ararakalari that both ararycan and aralohita used to wield). we can see the direct memory loss from using ararakalari in case of arama, when the one hit one of ruin guards really hard and returned back to goofy. we dont know how the memories amount needed to do some action is measured, but if we connect the dots, it all seems possible.
the only question left is why the heck did ararycan move the detail into the cave and the answer is i dont know. it was def moved before the cave was sealed since roy (seemingly) confirms this place not changing at all since he was a kid, and probably even before the kids found this cave because otherwise someone said something like "dude, i recall this place empty, but then somehow this huge detail appeared here, no clue how tho i dont remember". but why did ararycan move it there is forever a mystery it seems, unless aralohita is confirmed to be his accompany most of the time and prolly found alive ofc. aralohita might say something about it in that case, unless he forgot everything as well. but its all just my silly wishes.
also arama, while summarizing the places we shall visit, says that ararycan may know something about the sus person we were looking for. ararycan later confirms he used to help kids in vimara village cuz arana asked him, but thats all he says, none of details were thrown after that. his wording that marana avatar is capable of the trouble feels weird, but marana avatar to aranara is many things, not only the actual marana avatar, so he could be calling fatui like that. i now think that ararycan could possibly help us with finding out who the sus person is but for whatever reason it was cut down by his own troubling.
and i know that at this moment it feels like im just coping but idc. once again, my speculations have nothing to do with the dottore clone theory, its just a thing im rather comfortable with. fact of the day: dottore is my least favorite character in the entire genshin impact (among some that are somehow major) and i'll be quite disappointed if my precious ararycan turns out to be his clone or creation or whatever. i wont argue with it, i'll only throw, tear and murder.
and that concludes my tractate. it took me the whole day to put in words and i feel empty rn, especially since i dont know many words, and if you ever ask me why am i speaking english if i could just use my first language - none of your business. if u ask me why i made this tractate - none of your business. till the next time.
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gibbearish · 30 days
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btw similar to the whole "if you try adderall at a party and it calms you down, get an adhd test" thing, if at some point in your life you try microdosing shrooms with a friend and end up feeling like a functional person for the first time in your life, get tested for depression. like yeah hallucinogens come with elation so youre probably gonna have some "this is the best ive ever felt in my life" vibes regardless, but like. if that in and of itself feels like finally breathing in for the first time in years, thats for sure a sign that something is up with your ability to process serotonin most of the time. feeling better than ever before should be a nice bonus, not a crushing weight off your chest
#fun fact there are currently multiple ongoing studies vis a vis the effectiveness of psilocybin on depression#both on its own and as a companion to ssris#psylocybin targets the 5ht2a serotonin receptors which wikipedia tells me are more numerous in the brains of those with depression#so like. if you spend most of your life feeling like your brain is an aquarium with a leak in it and serotonin is the water and your default#state is 'slightly damp gravel grinding painfully against itself' thats ummm not normal 👍#and on the flipside of that if you have depression that no other med has worked for and know a guy. its 1000% worth it#origibberish#also i say 'wikipedia tells me' as if i just looked it up but that all comes from a long night of spite filled research after i asked my#psychiatrist if we could use the fact that psylocybin worked for me as a basis to like. narrow down which legal antidepressant#might work instead of basically just throwing darts at a board every time#and after several minutes explaining to her that i was not just asking her to prescribe me shrooms but in a legal way she went#'ohhhh yeah no unfortunately theres been no research into that‚ yeah.... sorry......:)'#which. as far as 'lies you come up with on the spot to avoid having to say i dont know' go‚ that is. maybe the worst one to pick#like. 'no‚ thats not an option'? alright fine maybe theres some internal rules or something who knows#'theres no research' though just. immediately tanks any and all credibility 100% even on its own but considering the subject matter?#youre telling me. that humans. the famously curious species that researches fucking Everything. and also Loves playing with drugs. when#trying to figure out how to make drugs that make brains feel good. would not start with the drugs they already knew made brains feel good.#youre telling me that not one (1) singular scientist tried shrooms and went 'oh my god wait. i dont feel like im dying for the first time#ever. holy fuck i need to study this'#complete misplay. absolutely legendary fumble. there were so many ways to fuck it up and somehow you found the worst. congratulations#om the other hand though. really was an excellent setup for the punchline that is the voicemail i have from them saying she'd been fired LOL#they didnt say what for specifically but yknow. based on my own experiences i certainly have theories jebfksbfk#it was annoying in the moment but at the end of the day i have shrooms and she doesnt have the job so. whos laughing now emily KSBFKSBFKDN#this is what i mean though like. rn i feel fine. not on top of the world‚ not like a god#just. fine. i just dont feel like shit. i feel like i can do stuff if i want to‚ or chill peacefully and have it actually be. relaxing.#i dont feel like gravel right now‚ i feel like a person.#and god what a fucking relief it is#really i guess the moral overall is that if at any point you react to trying a new drug the same way an addict craving a hit for days would#then there maybe is something up with your brain chemistry because that means your default state of existence is comparable to that#of withdrawal. a famously shit experience
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xhda1449x · 8 months
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I wonder if the people I used to be friends with miss me sometimes. We don't talk, ever. We're still mutuals on almost everything and we still like each other's posts sometimes... But that's not really friendship, is it. Let's suppose they do miss me, a little bit, if nothing else. I wonder why they don't reach out. I'm tired of being the only one who does it all the time. But I know that if I didn't, no one would care.
The thing about being the friend you've always wanted to have is that it will only push everyone further away if they don't like being your friend to begin with.
0 notes
5sospenguinqueen · 3 months
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Play Pretend Pt 2 | Charles Leclerc x Law Student! Reader
Summary: Lightning McQueen realises he misses Elle Woods. Or, when Charles finds out your goals always had him in mind, he realises he should've done the same.
Warnings: Swearing. Redemption. Miscommunication
Female reader with various faceclaims. Pics found on Pinterest
2024 timeline and beyond
Not really impressed with this one so apologies in advance
Main Masterlist
prev.
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YourUserName just posted
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liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri and others
YourUserName i declare my date for the weekend guilty of being too cute and snuggly
3,558 comments
charles_leclerc i hope he is behaving
→ YourUserName he pissed in my slipper.
→ charles_leclerc how do you know it was him? whatever happened to innocent until proven guilty?
→ YourUserName he fell asleep at the scene of the crime
maxverstappen1 what a cute little terror
→ YourUserName he’s forcing me to watch the imola highlights so he can watch his favourite driver win again
→ maxverstappen1 🦁🦁
→ danielricciardo that is such a lie, you literally told me yesterday that i was his favourite driver
→ arthur_leclerc you are all forgetting that his uncle is his favourite driver
lilymhe sleepy boy
→ YourUserName he wore himself out running away with my highlighters
YourBestFriend okay, these pics are cute but i still don’t forgive him for eating my pizza
→ YourUserName don’t tell the internet i let him have pizza, you’ll get me into trouble with his father
→ arthur_leclerc don’t make me tell on you
→ YourUserName i thought you still liked me :(
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YourUserName just posted
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liked by charles_leclerc, lorenzotl and others
YourUserName it’s official, your honour 🎓
4,007 comments
charles_leclerc leo and i are so proud of you, y/n/n. you worked so hard for this. enjoy every moment, you deserve it
→ YourUserName tell leo thank you for the cake. I’ll save him some for later ;)
→ User1 the wink? the wink! what does the wink mean?
User2 charles and y/n are the definition of exes who cannot stay away from each other. they don’t follow each other but they’re always lurking haha
schecoperez congratulations, y/n. look forward to seeing you soon
→ YourUserName thank you for the chocolates!
maxverstappen1 congratulations, y/n. can’t wait to see what you’ll do next
→ YourUserName kick your ass in karting
→ maxverstappen1 keep dreaming
→ YourUserName i think yesterday i proved i can achieve my dreams
User3 anyone else finding the red bull boys’ comments odd?
→ User4 no, they’re just being supportive like the rest of the grid?
danielricciardo fucking ace! well done, y/n. go forth and kick some ass
→ YourUserName who let you out of the old folk’s home
georgerussell63 how shitfaced did you get last night considering your graduation post is a day late
→ landonorris mate, she was worse than me
→ YourUserName don’t tell people that! i'm a lady
→ landonorris a lady who threw up on her kebab and then cried until pierre bought you a new one
logansargeant woohoo 🥳 it was lovely to be able to celebrate with you last night. thank you for inviting me
→ YourUserName thank you for coming! and teaching me some cool new moves
→ logansargeant yeah, let’s not talk about those. i think i put my hip out
→ danielricciardo and they call me old!
yukitsunoda0511 let’s go! well done, y/n!
lilymhe iconic elle woods behaviour
→ YourUserName what, like it’s hard
→ alex_albon getting you to drink water last night was hard
→ YourUserName 👎🏻👎🏻
redbullracing congratulations, y/n. we never doubted that you could do it
→ User5 ariana, what are you doing here
arthur_leclerc oh god, you are going to never shut up about this are you
→ YourUserName just say you’re proud of me and move on. i saw the giant bouquet of flowers, and don’t say they were from maman because i recognised your handwriting
→ arthur_leclerc damn.
YourUserName a big thank you to everyone who has supported me along this journey. to those who came to support me last night and put up with my awful drunken singing. and I suppose a thank you to the F1 grid for ensuring my home looks like a makeshift florist. i love the flowers but i will be chasing bees out of my home for at least a week
User6 they all got her flowers 🥹
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redbullracing just posted
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redbullracing no, it’s not hearsay. Y/N L/N truly has joined the Red Bull family as an intern for our legal term. we look forward to seeing what she can do, and hopefully welcoming her into the fold full-time tagged: YourUserName
7,377 comments
maxverstappen1 um, excuse me, why the checo hat
→ YourUserName obviously because he is the #1 choice to support
→ maxverstappen1 my insta handle indicates that i’m #1
→ YourUserName that was so cheesy. i hope it gave kelly the ick
schecoperez that is a perfect hat
→ YourUserName i agree. if you sign it for me, i bet i can get it to sell for a fair bit on ebay
→ redbullracing don’t worry. we’ve got loads you can have
User7 babe broke up with THE charles leclerc and then went, and now i’m going to become besties with your rival
danielricciardo i think she should just be my personal legal aide
→ YourUserName sounds like that’ll involve an awful lot of work for somebody who has just started
→ danielricciardo i’m sorry, are you saying i’m a handful?
→ YourUserName i didn’t think you’d understand me if i spelt it
landonorris you know, if you joined mclaren, we could provide you with a papaya jacket
→ YourUserName i wasn’t aware you had any openings
→ landonorris you’d do a great job doing my washing
→ YourUserName 🖕🏻🖕🏻
User8 can somebody check on charles? make sure he’s still alive after this news
→ User9 did you see that he liked this and then unliked?
georgerussell63 this is mercedes amg erasure
→ maxverstappen1 you’ll get over it but you won’t get y/n
pierregasly congratulations, y/n/n. it’ll be nice to still see you around the paddock again
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charles_leclerc just posted
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liked by YourUserName, scuderiaferrari and others
charles_leclerc BEST DAY EVER ❤️ thank you for everything, i love you all
20,125 comments
oscarpiastri congrats bro
→ User1 that’s no way to speak to your father
YourUserName leo and i are so incredibly proud of you charles. you deserve this, enjoy tonight x
→ charles_leclerc tell leo i can’t wait to celebrate with him tomorrow when i’m sober, and thank you for the gift x
→ User2 i love that they still don’t follow each other but are congratulating each other on their greatest achievements so far
→ User3 the kisses!!!!
User4 she should’ve been in the paddock
→ User5 she was! arthur posted a story celebrating, and you can catch a glimpse of her in the background
arthur_leclerc lets goooo ❤️
scuderiaferrari bravo charles!! so proud ❤️ here’s to many more
User7 the form on that dive 🍑
→ thisisnoty/n talk about buns of steel
→ User8 is this y/n’s secret account?
YourBestFriend congratulations, charles. we watched you cross the finish line and couldn't have been prouder
→ User9 we? who is we?
→ User10 we all know there’s no way y/n would miss his monaco win, even if they’re not together
YourMum félicitations, charlie. so proud to watch you grow from the teenager to this amazing man
→ charles_leclerc merci maman l/n. thank you for watching and supporting me <3
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YourUserName just posted
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liked by arthur_leclerc, carlossainz55 and others
YourUserName fit for the weekend
7,220 comments
danielricciardo i can’t believe max didn’t burst into flames being that close to a ferrari jacket
→ YourUserName don’t be silly. he wanted to steal it
→ maxverstappen1 don’t tell lies. i kicked her out of the garage for her betrayal
redbullracing and why aren’t you in uniform
→ YourUserName i was given the weekend off?
→ scuderiaferrari forza ferrari
→ redbullracing then what were you doing in our garage
charles_leclerc leo said you need to come back from mclaren because you ran off with his rope toy
→ YourUserName oh, that’s what leo told you, was it?
User11 okay but is this confirmation that she was in the ferrari garage for charles?
oscarpiastri you left your 81 cap in hospitality
→ landonorris she did that on purpose because the 4 cap was much better
→ YourUserName @ oscarpiastri can you bring it to family dinner for me?
User12 everyone is a ferrari fan
User13 wait, wait, wait. family dinner?! who’s in attendance, yn!!
User14 charles has followed her again!!!
→ User15 i genuinely thought he would follow max before he followed y/n again
pierregasly not the best weekend for alpine but as a die hard chary/n shipper, it was a perfect weekend
(comment deleted)
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1 year later
charles_leclerc just posted
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liked by pierregasly, francisca.cgomes and others
charles_leclerc mon coeur, the day i met you, i was a silly teenage boy who spilt his drink over you at a karting event in a way to gain your attention. and now, many years later, i can proudly call myself your fiance. every moment spent with you feels like standing on top of that podium. thank you for allowing me to wake up next to you every morning for the rest of our lives
(to the general public, y/n says you have to be nice to me about my emotional caption. don’t forget, she’s a licenced lawyer now and can sue you all for defamation)
13,841 comments
pierregasly and to this day, i stand by the fact that telling you to spill your drink on her was the perfect way to gain her attention.
→ YourUserName i still can’t believe charles took your advice on how to flirt with women
→ pierregasly it worked though, didn’t it? and i am the proud boyfriend of beautiful kiks so, i am clearly master
→ YourUserName ew, keep your bedroom stuff to yourself
→ pierregasly you just lost your wedding present
oscarpiastri congrats you guys 🧡 i am so happy for you, my dad and future step-mother
→ YourUserName and you just got yourself banned from family dinner. i'm too young to be called stepmother
scuderiaferrari i think the theme should be disney cars
liked by YourUserName
landonorris simp
→ charles_leclerc @ YourUserName i told you he’d be mean
→ YourUserName sorry bebe but i’m not suing lando. his fans are tougher than i am
User1 charles can you fight? ‘cause your gf is too hot for you
→ charles_leclerc *fiancee
georgerussell63 mate, the fact that you managed to convince her to forgive you AND agree to marry you a year later
→ alex_albon it’s the dimples. who can resist
→ lilymhe is there something you’re not telling me?
→ alex_albon i’m in love with charles marc hervé perceval leclerc
→ YourUserName same
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YourUserName just posted
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liked by lilymhe, oscarpiastri and others
YourUserName the evidence is conclusive. your papa and i cannot wait to meet you, only another 5 months to go
#BabyLeclercComing2026
17,309 comments
charles_leclerc je t’aime plus chaque jour. you are the light of my life, as well as the day you agreed to be mine forever, you have made me the happiest man
oscarpiastri i can’t believe i’m going to be a big brother
→ charles_leclerc the bestest big brother
→ User2 i love that this joke is still running two years later
scuderiaferrari all i’m hearing is that we have roughly 5 months to build a baby seat into charles’ car
pierregasly omg omg omg omg omg. stay calm, stay calm. it’s HAPPENING
→ francisca.cgomes why did you have to tell him? now i have to talk him out of buying elaborate gifts
→ charles_leclerc i love how you’re both acting like you weren’t told on the weekend
→ pierregasly i’m just so excited!
→ YourUserName @ francisca.cgomes has he stopped crying yet?
→ francisca.cgomes no
maxverstappen1 i am so happy for you y/n. baby leclerc will make such an adorable addition to the red bull garage. you will make an amazing mother after the way you have bossed checo and me around these past two years
→ YourUserName i think you mean, cared for and cherished, not bossed
User3 wait, but isn’t this the reason charles and y/n broke up two years ago
→ User4 they broke up because charles was talking about kids straight away and y/n wasn’t ready. they’ve now been married for a year so i’m guessing she’s ready now
liked by YourUserName
redbullracing brb working on building a baby play area in the office so you don’t have to worry about childcare. i’m a good babysitter and we can babyproof the garage. it'll be great!
→ User5 i think it’s safe to say everyone at red bull are excited for baby y/n
schecoperez felicidades y/n and charles. what lovely news. mucho amor to you both
danielricciardo i ate way too many cupcakes at the announcement party though. i swear the frosting changed something inside me
→ User6 you’re telling me that the grid were invited to the baby announcement 🥹 be still my beating heart
→ User7 and according to inside sources, a few of them cried
→ alex_albon whoever’s telling you that i cried, don’t listen to them!
→ lilymhe don't lie to the people
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charles_leclerc just posted
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charles_leclerc when your little man can’t decide if he wants to be like his maman or papa from one day to the next so he combines both for his 5th birthday
15,384 comments
YourUserName not featured is baby lec running around with a mini gavel sentencing everyone to prison whilst wearing his race helmet
alex_albon i still think my sentence was a bit harsh
→ lilymhe you deserved those 10 minutes on the naughty step, you ate all the mini doughnuts!
→ alex_albon yes but he finished it by smashing me in the kneecaps with the gavel
→ YourUserName yeah, he gets that from charles, sorry
→ charles_leclerc 😱
redbullracing happy birthday to our favourite leclerc! we hope to see you back in the paddock soon
→ charles_leclerc stop trying to steal my son, you already have my wife!
→ YourUserName and i thought i was your favourite leclerc!
→ User8 admin going to have some angry parents to contend with on sunday
maxverstappen1 i still think uncle max wins best present
→ YourUserName i can’t believe you had it engineered to go that fast
→ pierregasly yes but uncle pierre will be helping papa charles to repaint it so it’s not covered in red bull logos
→ maxverstappen1 @ YourUserName if he does that, i’m going to unfollow him again
→ YourUserName ffs pierre, i just got them to publicly make up, kiks, tell him
→ franscisca.cgomes behave yourself
jensonbutton little man clearly knows his mum is way cooler
liked by charles_leclerc
danielricciardo please stop inviting me to events where there are cupcakes. i have no control and your mini monster just laughed as i sobbed whilst shoving another one in my mouth
→ landonorris i don’t think you should say these things online
charles_leclerc also not featured is y/n crying all morning about her baby boy growing up
→ YourUserName charl, don’t lie to the fans. they all know you’re the one crying
→ charles_leclerc but he was so little, and he used to come to work with us and now he’s telling us he wants to be just like his clever mummy and his fast daddy and - i just cannot 😭
→ maxverstappen1 @ YourUserName like i said on your wedding day, are you sure this is the one you want to marry?
→ YourUserName afraid so
→ charles_leclerc i would divorce you but you are a very good lawyer and i do not imagine i would come out of it so well
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Requests welcome. I will be doing more Part 1s for some of the other drivers.
Baby Fever Angst Series
Daniel's Version | Max's Version | Lando's Version
Lance's Version | Oscar's Version
Tag list
@callsignwidow @luvrrish @evans-dejong @sadsierra2 @justdreamersdream @spookystitchery @dark-night-sky-99 @majusialikesfastcars @luckyladycreator2 @mrosales16 @reguluscrystals @tvdtw4ever @alwaysclassyeagle @gigicisneros @thecubanator2 @goldenharrysworld @awritingtree @jxnellat @lav3nder-haze @hc-dutch @mxdi0 @buckybarnessweetheart @ironmaiden1313 @dreamercrowd @yourbane @glow-ish @g-l-o-b-e-w-h-o-r-e @weekendlusting @lemon-lav @minkyungseokie @bibissparkles @emryb @barcelonaloverf1life @willowpains @leah-also-known-as-creatoronwp @rlalliehayes @softtina @marvelfangirl04 @love-simon @peachiicherries @rosecentury
2K notes · View notes
lina-lovebug · 8 months
Text
Sharkboy and his Shadow
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Percy Jackson x fem! reader
Background: reader is the only child of Nyx, and has grown up with Percy. After being claimed, lots of kids are afraid of her, and reader feels alone. To 'help' Percy see the error of his ways, Luke and Annabeth come up with a plan.
_ _ _
"(Y/N) (L/N), daughter of Nyx, the Personification of Night, and Queen of Tartarus."
Ever since that day, (Y/N) had never felt so alone.
She grew up with Percy, always being by his side, and she felt lucky enough to see him be claimed by Poseidon. She was happy for him, and understood his rage at the same time.
But when she was claimed? There were no kids staring in awe or clapping or congratulations. There were only whispers amongst them, and stares of horror.
Because no one ever thought that Nyx would have a half-blood child.
She's Nyx. She keeps to herself, away from the affairs of Olympus and mortals.
So no one wanted to make friends with the forbidden girl.
Luke was still friendly, but it became obvious that he wasn't interested in being friends like before. Annabeth, however, still stayed by her side. She was the only one to congratulated her, and decided to explain to (Y/N) what this means now.
Not only was being a child of The Big Three forbidden, but being a daughter of Nyx? That meant more danger for everyone, and she'd become the main target for any monster who wanted her dead.
And to top it all off, she thinks Percy is avoiding her.
She hadn't seen him since she'd been claimed. She had seen him briefly during most days, but when she'd look and see him staring, he'd quickly move his gaze to the ground or the sky.
"If I thought that being a half-blood was so lonely, I'd never have come."
Annabeth felt bad for the girl, "it's not a choice, (Y/N). Nyx chose your dad for a reason."
"And yet all she's sent me is a fucking knife!"
(Y/N) yelled as she threw the dagger her mother sent her into the fire. Annabeth gasped, quickly retrieving the dagger with a stick.
The black dagger hadn't been damaged.
Before Annabeth could lecture the girl on damaging gifts from your Godly parent, she saw the tears in her eyes.
(Y/N) was angry. She'd been so angry that she started sobbing, sinking to the floor of her own empty cabin. Annabeth held her.
"I miss my dad," She sobbed, hiccuping, "I'm so alone. . .I miss Percy."
"Seaweed brain," Annabeth cursed.
Annabeth knew why Percy had been avoiding her.
Because he liked her.
Percy confessed this to Annabeth. He said he knew how important being claimed was to her. How she'd be the most sought after half-blood now.
And feared endangering her if he stayed too close.
"Tell you what?" Annabeth pulled away, "tomorrow, we'll have a girls night. I'll take you to Aphrodite cabin, and Silena will do your hair and dress you up."
She sniffled, "I doubt any of those girls want me there."
Oh, Aphrodite girls were secretly cheering (Y/N) on. They knew the consequences of having a powerful female figure in your life, but one that chose to never be present much.
"Silena does, and whatever she wants, the girls will follow."
(Y/N) didn't get much sleep that night, tears coming and going, and she only managed to find sleep when she thought of how Percy used to hold her. When they'd have sleepovers and she'd have a nightmare, Percy would always hold her until they fell asleep.
That's why she thought she was holding herself.
But her eyes deceive her.
With wide eyes, she jumped up but her head banged into the top bunk. The mystery boy awoke, asking if the girl was okay.
"Luke?! When did you-?! How?!"
"You're bleeding, (Y/N)," Luke ignored her sudden panic, helping the daughter of Nyx up. She checked her head and found some blood.
"What the fuck. . ."
Luke quickly dragged her to the infirmary, but not without notice. The few half bloods that were awake gasped, seeing Luke Castellan leaving the Nyx Cabin with (Y/N) in his arms.
And so did Percy.
"Hey, hey! What happened?" Percy called after them, catching up but hearing Percys' sudden urgency made her want to cry. He's been avoiding her for two weeks, but now he's worried?
"Put your hand on my shoulder," Luke whispered to her, and she gave him a look of confusion.
"Just do it, pretty girl," With an awkward blush, she nodded and, as a result, pushed herself closer into his chest.
"She hit her head. She'll be fine, go tell Chiron," Luke dismissed, leaving Percy with more questions than he had answers.
Why was Luke in her cabin? When did he get there? Why were you hurt?
Did he spend the night?
That last thought made the son of poseidon wish he hadn't been avoiding you all this time. It made him angry with himself that he let Luke become interested in you.
"So why were you in my room, Luke?" (Y/N) asked, holding an ice pack on her throbbing head.
"I left early this morning to check on you, and I know that Percy wanted to do that this morning. So, I figured that sharkboy might get a little jealous if he saw me in your bed," He explained with a shrug.
"Jealous?" She questioned with a scoff, "he's been avoiding me like the plague since I've been claimed."
"Did you think that because you've been claimed that he's avoiding you, or that he's avoiding you because he's scared he'll attract more monsters to you?"
"Luke, I don't have time-"
He cut her off, "it's bad enough that Percy got claimed the second day he got here. He's a forbidden child. Now, the girl he's been crushing on since diapers is the number one target of every monster out there."
"He. . .he doesn't like me like that," I said, feeling my face heat up.
Luke quirked his brow, "that's seriously what you got out of that?"
Despite her frustration and anger towards Percy, she could never despise him so much that her feelings would fade. She still cared about him and ultimately feared that her feelings couldn't be reciprocated.
"Look, if he doesn't seem interested or even the slightest bit jealous, I'll let you know," Luke knew Percy well.
In fact, Luke endured countless hours of listening to how Percy adored (Y/N). How Percy first realized that she wasn't just his best friend, or at least that's not what he wanted her to be. He wanted to be the one she sought out each morning - be the one she could lean on. As capable as she was, he still wanted to help her as much as he could.
He'd lift the entire weight of this off her shoulders if she asked.
(Y/N) had the beauty of the stars and Percy could spend the rest of his life happily staring at her.
"Okay," She nodded.
_ _ _
"Wait, I have two different outfits?"
"Of course!" Silena expressed, bringing out the second one, "this one is for our picnic tonight."
It was a gorgeous white dress that sagged off the shoulders, flowy and the top decorated with several types of flowers.
"Oh, okay," (Y/N) nodded, completely unaware that there would be no girls' night.
Just a really good plan to help force these desperate lovebirds together.
"If this doesn't get him staring, then he's blind," Silena concluded before popping on some lip gloss onto the daughter of Nyx. She could admit, she looked very pretty but her stomach became a bundle of nerves when thinking about how Percy may either ignore her and or she'd finally unblind herself to the longing looks of the son of Poseidon.
She walked out of Aphrodite cabin right as lunchtime came, and she received multiple stares as she made her way.
"How's your day been?" Luke came up behind her, swinging his arm around her shoulders.
"Honestly I still think you're crazy," She confessed, "Percy doesn't-"
He pecked her cheek without warning before whispering, "Look ahead".
And she has never seen Percy look so angry.
He clenched his tray with the fury of a God, denting it even as she looked at him. He quickly looked away, retreating back to his cabin.
Oh my God's. . .
"Percy likes me."
"Now, tonight-where are you going?!" Luke shouted as she chased after him.
She flung the door open to see his sea blue eyes filled with tears. "Oh Percy."
"I'm sorry I haven't talked to you," He immediately confessed, walking towards her, "I would never be scared of you. I'm scared of what my presence will bring to us. I'm already a target, and I didn't want to risk your safety. But I let Luke get close enough to. . ." He stared into her eyes, "I've liked you since we were eight, and I'm sorry I let my thoughts get ahead of my feelings."
"It wasn't my idea," She couldn't stand to see her sweet boy cry, "Annabeth wanted to make you jealous, make you regret ignoring me, but I didn't believe that you liked me. I never thought that you saw me as anything more than a friend."
(Y/N) grabbed his hands, "I like you, Percy. Gods, I've liked you since the first time you shared your mom's cookies with me. You're so kind, you're selfish beyond any God, and you're the sweetest. I was scared that my mother being Nyx might have pushed you away."
His hand came up to her face, "not even the Gods above could separate the two of us."
His eyes glanced between her eyes and lips, hesitating.
"Kiss me, Percy Jackson."
And he did.
The kiss was something out of a movie. She could feel the amount of love he had for her, one hand remaining on her cheek while the other held her hand. She leaned into him, and he seemed to chase her lips as she pulled away for air.
"Not everyone can breathe underwater," She reminded him with a smile.
"I think we might lose a friend tonight," Percy said, and (Y/N) frowned.
"What do you mean?"
"Luke put his lips on my girl. I'll provoke single combat," He pulled out riptide, and her eyes widened.
He gave her a quick kiss on her lips, "if you don't see me tonight, I'm drowning him."
"Percy!" He ignored her calls as he ran outside, running straight towards Luke, who laughed before realizing that Percy wasn't stopping and started running too.
"Is that Percy?" Grover asked as she walked outside, hearing the shouts coming from the forest of Luke trying to calm down Percy.
"Yup. Call Chiron, he might water board Luke."
But after Chiron managed to stop Percy, they spent the rest of the night in his cabin exchanging kisses and unexpectedly receiving a gift from her mother.
"What's this?" She questioned as the owl flew off, the small package being addressed to both Percy and her.
"From your mom, it looks like," He opened it up, and a necklace with a Triton pendant fell out. Just as he picked it up, it transformed into a black Triton that was covered in black shadows.
"Holy shit!" Percy breathed out as (Y/N) grabbed the note that fell out.
"Oh Gods," seeing her reaction, he bent down and read the note.
"Oh," He observed the Triton, "well. . .at least we know she cares."
Break my daughters heart and I'll kill you with that very Triton,
From your mother, Nyx.
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phant0mth1ef · 2 months
Text
the feeling that i’m losing her, forever.
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bakugou katsuki x childhood friend hcs! pt 2
- you’d both met in kindergarten when you had complimented his quirk which had just manifested, and in return, he asked to see yours.
- your quirk wasn’t anything too flashy, you could manipulate the terrain beneath you, or anything that was considered part of earth for that matter. (think of toph from atla).
- he straight up told you that your quirk sucked and so you hit him in the head with a rock. he got set to the infirmary and you had a lengthy chat with your principal about why you shouldn’t use quirks on other students.
- sought you out after that encounter because he liked that you weren’t scared or took what he said to heart because you knew you were good.
- even as a kid he was a cocky little shit so you consistently kept him in his place whenever he started his “forward march and here we go!” chant.
- over time, you two simply just stuck by each other because you were almost always in the same class, so you never really had any reason to ignore the boy, and he found himself not completely hating the feeling of having you right by his side.
- in middle school he found out that you put shiketsu instead of ua down as your top school and he threw a fit because he didn’t want to lose one of the things in his life that was consistent and stable, but got over it when you told him that you’d come visit.
- when he got into ua and you got into shiketsu, your parents joined together and had a celebratory dinner for you both, and he could swear he had never been happier than that moment.
- when your family had to move so you could go to shiketsu, the boy went over and pretended he wasn’t about to cry because truth be told, you were his best friend.
- at first, you’d both called each other almost every night to gain daily updates on how your new lives were treating you, and it was something bakugou had looked forward to after having to deal with those extras all day.
- the first time you guys didn’t check up on each other was the same night that the usj had been attacked by the league of villains, something that you had seen on the news as you immediately dialed up your friend, who texted you that he was just too tired to talk right now.
- the second time was after ua’s sports’ festival, when you called to congratulate him and he just completely ignored the call, no explanation as to why, just instantly getting sent to voicemail.
- you pretended like you didn’t care, obviously you knew he was busy and that he probably just didn’t have the time in between classes and trainings, but then again, you were doing the same things and making time for him, why couldn’t he do the same for you.
one time he accidentally butt dialed you before class had started and when you picked up you could hear the bustling nature and conversations going on in his classroom, the sound of the boy pulling out his seat and sitting down was heard.
“hello? katsuki?” no response.
you recognized izuku’s voice coming into earshot.
“kacchan, i’ve been meaning to ask. how’s y/n doing?” the boys positive attitude even conveyed itself through the phone as you waited to hear how bakugou would respond, because truth be told, you had a major crush on your best friend.
“i dunno.” and you could hear him taking a bite of something, like an apple or something crunchy.
“y/n?! if i didn’t know any better, i’d think you had a girlfriend bakugou!” an unrecognizable voice boomed through your headphones.
“s’not the case. she’s just a friend. i don’t like her like that. always callin’ me and shit, gets annoyin’ y’know?” he grunted as the sound of your bell ringing had filled your ears, you quickly hung up and turned off your phone. pretending that what just happened didn’t sting a bit.
- from there you stopped calling him so much, figuring that if he wanted to talk, he’d call you up first.
- eventually you stopped talking altogether because you stopped starting the conversations, refusing to make him feel as if he had to talk to you.
- bakugou of course was unfortunately a firm believer of “the phone works both ways,” so he never decided to start a conversation up either. matter of fact he refused to ever think of hovering his finger over your contact, instead opting to just tell kirishima about his thoughts.
- when ua moved into the dorms, bakugou had a bulletin board filled up with a variety of different things that seemed so out of character for him, like pictures of him as a kid, pictures of his family, newspaper clippings from the sports’ festival, and a few select pictures of you both through the years.
- the first time kirishima was let into the blonde boy’s room, it was like the first thing his eyes locked onto as he sat down at bakugou’s desk, seeing a genuine smile on his friends face.
“who’s that?” his voiced laced with curiosity as he unpinned the picture, taking it down to show his friend.
“eh? friend of mine.” his reply was short and concise, as if he didn’t want to talk about it. so kirishima just pinned the photo back up, and looked at the rest that littered his wall.
a picture of you both at your kindergarten graduation, a few candid pictures from grade school, and a picture of just you from middle school graduation, but you can tell bakugou took it because a tuft of the spiky blonde hair hung in front of the camera lens and left only half your face visible.
kirishima had to stifle his laugh when he saw a childhood picture of you and bakugou playing in a sandbox, the boy getting sand thrown into his face, and on the back of the photo read “katsuki’s first friend!” clearly something mitsuki had done for him.
- he felt his breath getting separated from his body when he saw you stepping off the bus at the provisional licensing exam, your shiketsu cap taunting him, teasing what could’ve been.
- of course he didn’t miss how your second year classmates all walked with you huddled between them, they’d known of your foul relationship with someone from ua, and as the one of the only first years that were attending the exam from shiketsu, they felt as if they had to protect you.
“oh, look kacchan! she’s here.” midoriya was excited, because after all, you were his friend as much as you were bakugou’s.
“i know.” and that was all he said before angrily walking off, he saw your phone in your hand, he knew it still worked.
he was acting as if he didn’t miss you. and even if his eyes lit up as you essentially dominated the piece of earth terrain, he’d never admit that he wanted his best friend back by his side.
“seiji was eliminated? no way!” you spoke to inasa after the first part of the exam, true disappointment in your voice as you found out bakugou had eliminated your classmate.
“he likes you, y’know.” inasa’s voice was naturally loud, so you weren’t shocked when people’s heads begun to turn at the sound of romance in the air.
“who?”
“shishikura.” all inasa wanted was for his friend to gain the girl he’d been pining for since the first day of school, even if his friend was a certified dick to some people.
katsuki hadn’t once bothered to look your way since you’d gotten to the exam site, but his knuckles were turning white as they gripped the table in front of him.
he didn’t realize it, but he had lost you a long time ago back when he had called you annoying.
1K notes · View notes
fillinforlater · 5 months
Text
On her jeans (Part 3 of 3)
Male Reader x Kim Minji, Hanni Pham, Danielle Marsh
Length: 4606 words
Tags: Daddy kink, anal galore, blowjob, face fuck, blindfolded, 4some, pearly gates, spitting, spanking, cursing, humiliation, missionary anal, analpie, ass eating, rimming
TW: kinda rough, pure, stupid smut, ass eating, eating cum out of ass
-Part 1- -Part 2- -Part 3-
(A/N: the most likely final part of the On her series. This fic is very mindless lmao. Important announcement at the end.)
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“Yes, Daddy, that feels so good!”
Hanni’s enthusiasm is almost limitless. No matter how often you’ve ordered her to your office or your apartment or some secluded bed and breakfast, she never let you down. No, the only thing ‘down’ is the momentum of her hips whenever she rides you on the couch, her beautiful ass turned towards you. She loves to make it wiggle when your cock fills her cunt.
You take delight in such a sight and give her the good-girl-spanks she deserves. Hanni craves them as much as she craves your eyes, seeing nothing but love in hers. There is nothing stopping her from leaving, you never demanded the same things from her then you did from Minji. But where Minji lacks endless love and desire for you, Hanni fills these gaps and then some. 
“Oh my God, Daddy, you-you’re gonna make me cum again!” Hanni’s throat is sore from her moans and screams (and the rough face fuck you gave her earlier). “I-I can’t hold it!”
“Why would you hold it?” you ask her and pull her back against your bare chest. “Ruin yourself all over me, you slut.”
You give her thrusts, quick, not too strong and that is all she needs. Her effort was remarkable but in the end she wants you to fuck her over the edge. Hanni’s pussy convulses around your cock, tries to milk it and you are about to give in when your cell phone rings. 
“Fuck,” you curse and pick it up while dropping a powerless Hanni to the carpet floor. “Who is this?”
“Yo, have you turned on the TV?” the person on the other end, some former manager of a group you were interested in, asks. “Today are the MAMA awards.”
“And? They’ve been the same for basically forever. And you know I don’t have any control over—”
“Oh no, another group has won.” You can hear the smirk on his lips. “I bet you’ve heard the song and the group—some of them are under your wings, I assume?”
For a moment you are confused, then it dawns on you brightly. “You could say that,” you respond calmly and look at one of those who are under your wings—though under your cock fits better. “Let me be honest, I did not think that they would make it this far.”
“Their success is unheard of, they must have paid you really well,” he continues knowingly. The kind of business you do is in a paradoxical state of infamously known and also a dark secret in the industry. It’s a tightly knit conspiracy where every wrong step, every wrong turn can cost you basically everything. 
“Maybe they have to offer me something new, a MAMA win does not come around very often.”
#
“Congratulations on your win. I bet this is part of every trainee's dream” Sent by you
“Thank you, Daddy~ It definitely is, but I’m certain we couldn’t have done it without you “ Sent by Hanni
You smirk and scroll through your gallery. There is a picture you’ve saved, a picture of something you want. Some people screenshot what they want from social media apps or shopping sites—you will do the same right now, though your picture does not include a product one can buy. 
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“I found this picture of you and one of your friends. She is very attractive.” Sent by you
“I know, Danielle ist so damn pretty <3” Sent by Hanni
“Her prettiness equals probably two MAMA awards…” Sent by you
That should do it. Hanni is probably stunned right now. If Danielle is next to her, she probably looks at her—your terrible influence deeply rooted in Hanni’s mind—and she will see what you see: another object for your desire, another girl you can train to make your personal fuck doll, another idol sold by her bandmate. Unlike Minji, Hanni might actually like the idea. 
You wait patiently as she ponders, typing, then deleting message after message until she settles for a simple text that makes this unhinged, lustful being inside you lose any and all control.
“Daddy deserves his reward as soon as possible. We need just 20 to 30 minutes~” Sent by Hanni
With a victorious sigh, you throw away your smartphone. It audibly cracks on the floor, but you don’t give a fuck. Phones can be bought again, but what you will get, no one can buy. These next twenty minutes will feel like hours and every second beyond that will make you lose your mind. Atleast, that is what you would have to assume if it weren’t for someone suddenly sneaking into your apartment. 
Timid, quiet steps. The person is not wearing shoes. You hear the door fall shut, gently and suddenly, she stands in your doorframe. As if your life was a script, written by a higher being which, for some reason, likes your story to be filled with as much sexual fulfillment as possible, Minji has decided to come visit you. 
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“Hello, Daddy,” she coos, catching your gaze with the way she presses her frame against the door frame. Her two piece outfit with all its white frays perfectly merges with said door frame, the warm light making it look like she could disappear in your walls. “I’m sorry for not announcing myself, but may I come in?”
“That depends,” you say, trying to act not-too-happy about her convenient timing. “It’s nice to see you barefooted and in this pretty outfit—but you need to approach the right way.”
“Of course, Daddy.”
Minji gets on her knees. She begins to crawl over your wooden floor and seeing her eager eyes has you riled up. Instead of waiting for her to unbuckle your belt, you open it on your own and let your pants drop when her face reaches your crotch. Minji moans gently and presses her face against the massive bulge in your boxers. She’s not really teasing you. It’s more of a ceremony, because Minji quickly proceeds to pull down your boxers with nothing but her teeth.
“Daddy, it’s so big and beautiful,” Minji says in all honesty, her idol persona washed away by her own horniness. “May I service you with my mouth?”
“Stick out your tongue,” you order and Minji follows. You slap your tip on the exposed wet muscle and watch her faintly smile at how excited you seem. “Looks really good, how could I say no?”
No warning and just a moment later, you are buried to the hilt in Minji’s throat. She gags violently, her head tilted backwards and her wide eyes quickly release a torrent of tears. You don’t comment on it, watch on with a cold, resting bitch face and begin to fuck her face roughly. It’s hard thrust after hard thrust; not too fast though, because you want to see the submission steadily grow in her eyes.
“Fucking good, so much better since you started taking my cock like a premium whore,” you hiss and reach for the sides of her head. She locks eyes with you and through a sea of tears, you can see that she is happy. Still happy. “But it won’t be enough. I need more, another hole, and I’m not talking about your pussy. I know that you are dripping from there, but I’m going to split you open somewhere else.”
You pull out and watch Minji try to catch her breath, shocked, weak; she gets no time to recover however. You grab her hair and slide back into her not-awaiting, but slave-like throat. She takes your pounding even as it forcefully removes her faint mascara and leaves her a drooling mess. It’s Minji’s masterclass in deepthroats—a fitting end, because you will fuck something else today.
After many harsh thrusts, too many to count, but enough to have Minji at your complete mercy, you pull out. She bends over, tries to keep her composure and breathe, but you won’t allow this. She has to look at you and understand what you desire. You slap her face and spit at it. “Don’t avoid me, look at me!” you shout and Minji is tiny. A kneeling tiny bitch who follows your commands. “I will fuck your ass, do you understand?”
“Yes, Master,” Minji cries and puts her forehead to the floor. “Tha-Thank you for the award, Ma-Master. Please, a-abuse my ass.”
Not that it tugs at your heartstrings or anything—but instead of just fucking her in this state of complete devastation, you help her up, to her feet and cup her cheek firmly… almost gently. Minji still sobs, barely able to look up at you.
“You are here to thank me with your ass? That is actually adorable and very thoughtful of you.”
“I-I thought, because Master hasn’t fucked me th-there yet, and because he probably did with Hanni already, I—”
“Oh, I understand, but Minji—” You lean down to her ear and whisper, while your hand travels down her bare midriff into the dress and finds her folds, soaked in arousal. “—we are already past the Master stage. And you underestimate my greed, my desire for more, infinitely more. Don’t worry about that though. Get on the couch and show me your cute little asshole.”
“O-okay. Thank you, Daddy.”
As Minji lays down and wiggles off the bottom part of her dress, you get a bottle of water-like lube from a drawer in the living room table. These bottles are always nearby because situations like this have occurred quite a few times in your life. More than you can count, enough to make you the biggest villain for every girl group fan.
When you pour the lube on your cock, you inspect Minji and her cute posture. She is on her back, legs spread and in the air, while her fingers keep her butt cheeks apart. Her ring twitches and it twitches more when you rub lube all over it. Minji mewls, and mewls some more when you push a finger past the first tightness to lube the inside as well.
“You are a bit stiff, you need to loosen up or else it will hurt.”
“Isn’t it supposed to hurt?” Minji asks in all honesty. “I’m okay with Daddy hurting me, as long as he feels good.”
You have to hold back or else you would’ve laughed at her innocent expression and the confused fear in her orbs. You align your cock with her ass, not to immediately force yourself inside that hot, tight hole, but to teach Minji how to take you well.
“If you relax, Minji, I promise it will feel good. Weird at first, probably too big, but the more you loosen up and let your asshole become a source for pleasure, it will feel great.”
“Hanni probably already knows this,” Minji mumbles in shame. You quickly reach for her jaw and put a chaste kiss on her lips.
“To be honest, I haven’t even fucked her ass before, so stop worrying. Take deep breaths and stay re-laxed.” With those final words, you wait for Minji to follow your instructions—breathe in; breathe out—before you push your cock into her brown hole.
“Oh Daddy, fuck,” Minji groans, right into your face and you love how her hands start to hold onto your back, your arms as you push more cock into her. “You are so, so big!”
“There is still more, but you are doing a great job, Minji,” you respond calmly, lifting up her ass a bit to penetrate her deeper. “Soon, you’ll love this more than anything.”
“Daddy!” Your cock is fully inside her and Minji seems to go crazy, her head thrown back into the couch, her mouth releasing loud moans rapidly. Her anal cavity squeezes you tightly, tries to wring you and it’s insanely impressive. She takes you fully on the first go and slowly catches herself. “I-it feels weird but soooo—”
“Good, right? I can feel you relax, so I will start to fuck you for real now. Congratulations, you’re not a butt virgin anymore!”
Minji weakly laughs and then gasps when you drag your cock mostly out of her ass just to push it back in, deep, to the fucking hilt. You watch as her eyes open wide, then narrow, then close, all in the rhythm of your pumps. Her cunt drips more juice too, she cannot deny the pleasure.
“Daddy, why, why do you feel so good?” Minji screams. “Why, your cock—you made me your butt slut!”
“You’re a natural at this, most of your kind quickly become addicted.”
“Make me addicted, Daddy! Please, use this hole and make me—”
You reach underneath her frayed top and pinch a hard nipple, while your teeth go for her lower lip. You can feel her insides combust, her ass clenching around your cock, her pussy convulsing around nothing, yet it is enough to make her cum. Minji is orgasming from just her ass, but she tries to hide it. 
“There is nothing to be embarrassed about,” you laugh and begin to fuck Minji harder, her ankles in your firm hands. “Cum with your ass and be mine forever. You cannot escape anyways, so why would you want to? Don’t run from the pleasure, because I won’t stop fucking you until—”
Suddenly, you hear a key in the lock of your front door and someone whispering. Then quiet steps. Minji grows tense but you just smile at her, reassure her that there is nothing to be scared off. “Oh, you know these two, don’t worry~” 
“Huh?”
You look up and spot the first girl, Hanni, who smirks when she sees you. She puts a finger to her luscious lips and winks. You get her idea and press your palm on Minji’s mouth to keep her quiet while you slowly thrust into her tight ass. The young girl is visibly shocked that you just continue, but her shock grows even more when she spots the second girl.
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“Unnie, this is weird. How long do I have to wear this blindfold?”
“Just a little bit longer~ We are almost there, just a few more steps.”
Hanni guides the blind Danielle, a beautiful, skinny girl dressed in what you assume is a stage or award show outfit. Either way you love how exposed her midriff and collarbone are. Danielle’s skin is flawless and her face looks even better than in pictures or videos.
The two get closer. Hanni is now behind the taller girl and guides her by holding her hips. The two seem familiar with this kind of intimacy. You quietly pull out of Minji’s butt and luckily, she stays quiet in this tense situation. 
“Dani, we have arrived,” Hanni giggles and wraps her hands around her friends’ tiny waist. “I have a present for you, but you have to get on your knees and guess what it is~”
“Unnie, if it’s your pussy again—we already did that! And if you want to fuck, you can just ask!”
You raise an eyebrow at Hanni who is clearly nervous and sweating. She got caught fucking with a second member of her group without your permission. You can’t really blame her. You can’t wait to stick your cock into that tight body and fuck Danielle’s mouth with your fingers. But for now, you let Hanni finish her game.
“This time,” she continues and kisses Danielle’s shoulder. “It’s something different. I have found the biggest, most beautiful cock because I know you would want to suck one of those someday.”
Danielle’s pale skin starts to burn with a deep red. All of her blood seems to go to her face. She starts to lose focus and whimpers a bit, especially because Hanni becomes more touchy, hands on her chest, her tummy, her ass.
“H-how did you know, Unnie?”
“You are really, really bad at hiding your dildo’s, Dani. I found like four of them. One still had your saliva around it~”
Danielle puts both hands to her face and lowers it in shame. Everyone in the room can still feel the glow of her blush through her fingers. You stroke your cock once, amused at the situation, but also tired of waiting. Hanni notices and continues her plan quickly.
“Look, Dani, I’ll show you how to do it.” Hanni lowers herself in between your legs. For the first time, you check out her outfit. Odd, you remember it from some performances a few months ago—does it really matter when she immediately goes to suck you, throat you even? “Oh my, it tastes so good! I wonder why that is?”
You point to Minji’s still exposed asshole and Hanni smirks knowingly. Poor Minji did not dare to move a single inch this entire time but now with Hanni’s loud gagging filling the room, she can stop being quiet and move her hands to cover up.
“U-unnie, are you really sucking it?” Danielle asks the obvious, still in disbelief. “Is it a real one, like, are you sucking a boy?”
Hanni pops you free from her perfect lips and makes sure to taste all of the lube and Minji’s ass from your manhood with her tongue. She cleans you passionately, from sac to tip until you finally give her a bit of precum. 
“Dani, he is a man, a Daddy. Trust me, he is very good looking and his cock is even better~” Hanni’s voice is so lewd, it feels cursed with her adorable visuals. You relish in her compliments and brush her black strands back behind her ear. “Kneel next to me and I show you.”
Danielle kneels down, her small frame taking the spot in between your legs next to Hanni. She is still confused though. “But Unnie, how can you show me if I’m not allowed to remove the blindfold?”
Hanni rolls her eyes and without warning, grabs Danielle’s face and pulls her into a kiss. The younger girl flails in surprise, finds hold on your thigh, but somehow she can’t hold onto it for long. Maybe the thought of a stranger really seeing her like this makes her lose grip on the situation—a good thing in your book.
“Ha-Hanni-unnie!” Danielle shrieks when their lips disconnect. “Why, why did that taste so good?” 
“If you want more, you need to suck and clean his cock like I did. Here, open your pretty mouth and be a good girl for Daddy~”
“You say weird stuff—ugh, hng!”
You groan softly when Hanni not-so-softly pushes Danielle’s face down your cock. A new, sensational throat engulfs you. Of course you expected violent gags and tears coming from behind the blindfold, how could you not. Hanni is literally forcing Danielle to deepthroat you for the first time. Her dildo training seems to have paid off however: Danielle is a lot more composed, measured even and makes sure to keep her teeth off of you. 
Soon, she finds her own pace and bops up and down your shaft, using her tongue from time to time without yet knowing where it actually feels good for you. It’s hard for her to learn when she can’t read your facial expression, so she just guesses and sucks and bops her head. It makes it all the more impressive how she can keep up with you and do a better job than Minji did on her first try.
“Hanni-unnie,” Danielle immediately shouts after getting her mouth off of your dick. “That was very mean of you, like, what the—”
You interrupt the young, angry girl by giving her blindfold a tug and watching it fall off of her dazzling, still flushed features. You smirk down at her as she watches up in awe, her eyes inspecting you like you did to her earlier.
“Oh, he-hello, sir,” Danielle says and tries to be formal while your cock is still on her lips. “I’m sorry we just walked into here and… about this.” She points at your hard shaft which you take in your hand and poke against her soft cheek.
“Don’t worry about it, you beautiful thing. In fact, I should be sorry about this right here.” You point next to you, where Minji tries to cover up her pussy. “Hope you don’t mind.”
“You, you had sex with Minji-unnie? Like, i-in her vagina?”
“Oh Dani,” Hanni coos and puts a hand into Danielle’s red top. “You don’t know how good a real cock feels in your pussy. Way better than a dildo.”
“Stop being so lewd, Unnie!”
“But you two are wrong,” you interrupt them and look at Minji, who valiantly fights through her embarrassment. There is nothing to be embarrassed about though; she did great taking your cock in her ass. “We had anal sex just now, and I think I speak for us both when I say that it was awesome.”
Hanni pouts at the thought of not yet having you in her ass while Danielle is both struck by horror and thrill when she cross-eyes your cock and then switches to look at Minji’s butt, which you uncover for her.
“Minji-unnie, was it really that good?” Danielle asks with wide open eyes.
“Yeah, how was it?” Hanni adds and involuntarily adds pressure for the leader to answer.
“I-it was… the best.”
A moment of silence and awkwardness for Minji until Danielle jumps up and pulls down her black skirt. Another unexpected turn, she seems to be ready to go asap. “Sir, can you—would you have sex with my butt too?”
“I thought you’d never ask,” you try to play it cool and reach for the bottle of lube. “Turn around, we need to get you ready.”
“Here, let me help you, Daddy.” Hanni gets a hold of Dani’s ass as soon as she spins around and spreads the cheeks apart. Dani gasps at first, but then giggles when she finds her Unnie to be already naked. She starts to kiss Hanni’s skin while you put the nozzle to her beautiful, clean ring and push lube inside. Danielle shudders while Hanni looks on with jealousy. It will be her turn soon enough though. 
“You have a gorgeous body, Dani,” you compliment her before grabbing her waist and pulling her onto you. “You are so light, I think I need to try a new position with you. Are you down for that?”
“Sir, I—if it’s not too crazy, I think I can do it. But remember, this is my first time.”
“You have to be relaxed, Dani,” Minji suddenly adds and stands next to her, not covering her private parts anymore. “If you are tense, it’s going to hurt—when you are loose however, Daddy can fuck you so good, it will feel like heaven.”
“O-okay then, I think I’m ready.”
You nod and lay down on the couch, Danielle on top of you. She rests her back on your strong chest and your hard cock searches for her tight asshole. Luckily, Hanni is there to help align your tip with it (not before sucking it of course). Dani takes deep breaths instinctively and with your primal instinct to fuck, your cockhead disappears in her ass.
“Oh fuck, that looks so hot!” Hanni coos.
“Stop staring, please,” Danielle whimpers and you feel her incredible texture convulse around your aroused phallus. No, she definitely gets turned on by this, so you’ll make it even better.
“Hanni, keep staring,” you order. “Oh, and make your mouth useful on my ass. See it as punishment for having sex with Dani without my permission.”
“Yes, Daddy, I’m sorry Daddy.”
“Sir, isn’t this too lewd?” Dani asks while you begin to rock her thin body up and down your cock like it’s a fleshlight. 
“Minji, how about you lick Danielle’s pussy. Make yourself familiar with it.”
“Yes, Daddy, she tastes really sweet and is quite… wet.” Minji smiles and you get what she means. Her mouth is promptly on Dani’s clit and now the two are moaning in unison. Your thrusts into Dani’s ass become harder.
“Oh dang, so much in my a-a—, I mean butt,” she whispers and you look at her face. “Sir, you are one lewd bast— person. Making young girls do this stuff. Aren’t you a bit too old for us?”
“Maybe that is why they call me Daddy,” you respond, the humor lost because your expression remains stern even through the pleasure. “Don’t hold back, curse as much as you want. This is no tv show or live stage. Get used to this cock, because I won’t stop after this one time.”
“I won’t either, you fucking bastard.”
Your lips meet in a haze, then you decide to give it your all. You fuck Dani hard, force more and more curse words out of her good-girl-mouth. Her cunt is forced against Minji’s eager lips, while you make sure Hanni is covered in your musk—though she kinda seems to enjoy serving your ass. Even after all this, she might still be the best baby girl out of this trio.
“Yes, fuck, yes, you fill my tiny ass so good! Fuck me with your big fat cock, give me that cock, open me so wide until I—”
“You horny bitch.” You yank down her top to reveal tiny tits, jiggling a little at your every thrust. Her skin is glowing, she is in complete heat. Danielle is a nymph with a tight ass and a pussy so wet, she can save someone from dehydration. You want to test your theory, if her orgasm is as explosive as you want it to be.
“My Lord, I’m so going to fucking cum, I will cum! Make me squirt, make me fucking, ahh!”
Like a fountain, Danielle’s juices paint Minji’s face, cover her hair and even Hanni below. She also doesn’t stop, not with your endless thrust into her ass. She is like an infinite source, eventually filling Minji’s mouth and marking Hanni as a dirty, rimming whore covered in girl cum.
“That was so good, Sir—”
“We are not yet done!” You squeeze Dani to your chest so she cannot escape and start to violate her ass some more, to the point your entire cock stretches her in all directions. For some reason, you feel like you could breed this hole for two eternities, but for now, one massive load has to be enough. 
With your final, deepest of thrusts, you force all of your seed into Danielle’s tight ass-pussy, fill it up and make sure she is tight enough to keep it inside for now. Pulling out is hard but rewarding, and hearing, feeling her pant on top of you is heavenly. 
“It’s so deep in me, fuck,” she moans and you bite her cheek. 
“Push it out of your slutty hole, you naughty bitch. 
“Hanni, Minji! Get ready for your daily load!”
The two girls are under our spell, not questioning anything you say and stick out their tongue underneath Danielle’s butthole. You pull back her heels to give them more space and with an blissful, erotic expression, Dani lets her ass be gaped. Your creamy white cum oozes out of her and Minji and Hanni greedily eat it all up, even getting their tongues into the completely overstimulated girl and cleaning her butthole.
“Shit, this is so lewd,” Dani whimpers and you put a hand around her throat.
“After I fuck Hanni’s ass in a rough Doggy, my heel on her face because I know she loves that, you will eat my cum out of her ass too. And don’t lie; I know you will like it.”
Danielle grins, licking her lips in excitement. “You are such a nasty bastard, Daddy.”
(A/N2: here is the very short version, I'll release a longer announcement later this week probably. I have decided to quit for a while, maybe forever but that is still in the stars. I can still write and I kinda like it, but this endless cycle of horniness and unhinged smut is killing me. I also need to focus on life/studies. More on that later this week. Love you all, peace out.)
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miniimight · 5 months
Note
ur dad!sukuna has me on a chokehold and i don't even like that man
lol same, it really came outta nowhere. woke up one day and decided to make him a soft girl dad :(
loosely inspired by this
sukuna had never understood the need to celebrate holidays with family, much less getting together for no reason. and yet, here he was at your grandparents' house in the middle of the school year.
there were a bunch of kids, from toddlers like your daughter to the teenagers of family friends. sukuna made sure you handled all the pleasantries, save the occasional polite nod. he was convinced the only kid worth entertaining was his baby girl, who clung to him as she tried to adjust to the new environment.
she was quieter than usual, and he observed her as she pulled at her lip, turning her head into his neck when unknown relatives crowded you to congratulate you on your little family.
you and sukuna found a corner to hole up in, talking to each other while you sampled all the drinks and food at the party. soon, your daughter grew restless, wanting to go play with other kids.
sukuna watched her with deadly precision as she and the other kids brought out toy cars and dolls, driving them around on the city rug below their feet.
he had crossed his arms, only for you to wiggle your hand into the crease of his elbow seconds later. eyes still on his daughter, he leaned his head down a bit to show he was listening.
"i thought you'd enjoy the free drinks." you said.
he snorted. "i'd enjoy my bed right about now."
you swat his bicep with your free hand before hugging into his side. "at least baby's having fun."
he just hummed in response. "she's gonna want one of those stupid rugs."
you roll your eyes. "you know she'll forget about it by tomorrow morning."
his lips pulled up. she would. and he'd still get it for her.
soon, gifts for the kids were being exchanged. why? just for existing, apparently. you left sukuna's side to capture your daughter's reaction on camera.
your baby glanced at you as she was presented with the gift bag.
"go 'head, baby." you nod, and she ripped the tissue paper to shreds before reaching her whole arm into the bag. she pulled out a tiara, studded with gems and painted gold, along with a fluffy dress.
an immediate chorus of awwws echoed around the room as she held up her loot. she raised the tiara over her head, but didn't manage to get it to sit right.
"help." she chirped, waddling over and holding the tiara to you in her outstretched hand. "mama."
sukuna's heart squeezed at the sight, gaze following you as you retreated to the bathroom to help her change into her costume.
a few minutes later, you emerged, setting her next to your grandparents.
another wave of awws made sukuna's head lift from his phone. always watching, he noticed how his kid's wide eyes darted from unknown face to unfamiliar face. her chin tucked down, her chubby neck doubling up as her bottom lip pushed out into a pout.
he'd know that look from a mile away. he stood a little straighter, frowning.
at that point, your mommy senses tingled, pulling yourself from the conversation you were wrapped up in. "aw, honey, no..." you cooed, stooping to her level and trying to catch her eye.
she whined, pushing off the couch and shrinking under the crowd of people, wringing the hem of her dress as she walked through the crowd.
her eyes were scanning the room, looking up at every adult and getting closer to tears when she saw they weren't the one she was looking for.
eventually she broke into the kitchen area, locking eyes with her father and barreling towards him. sukuna crouched down, his arms spread to catch her.
as soon as she gripped him, he lifted off. "hey, kid. rough night, huh?"
she tucked her head into the crook of his neck, her arms hugging the expanse of his shoulders. he nodded and rubbed her back. "me too."
she raised her head abruptly and touched her tiara. her eyes so serious, as if she'd base her own feelings about her new stuff on how much her father liked it.
"yes, i see it. very pretty." he placed her onto the kitchen counter, smoothing the crinkled mess of her dress. his tone could be perceived as dry or near-monotonous, but his intention was the complete opposite. "my, my, were you ever going to tell us we were living with a princess?"
a toothy grin spread on her face, and sukuna was blown away yet again by the way he was able to make someone so genuinely happy.
"look." she started twirling around.
sukuna shook his head with a low chuckle. her spin was anything but graceful. he applauded her showcase, his back shielding them both from the noise surrounding them. a little bubble just for them <3
your hand rested on his back, signaling your approach. sukuna lifted his arm, resting it on your waist when you stood at his side.
you frowned as you studied your little girl. "you feeling okay, baby?"
she poked her tongue out.
"i'll take that as a yes." you kissed her cheek. "wanna get outta here?" you ask your husband.
"fuck yes." he grumbled, immediately slinging the baby bag over his shoulder and grabbing your daughter. you three were out the door in the next minute.
your toddler started screaming at the burger king y'all were passing on the way home. you gave sukuna a look, silently warning him not to do anything illegal in order to appease her request. as usual, he soothed you with a squeeze of the hand, pulling a jerky, very illegal u-turn across oncoming traffic into the burger king lot.
you sighed, your daughter giggling happily as the car came to a stop.
after you got your food, she placed the crown she got on her father's head. "princess." she said.
"oh?" you side glanced your husband, his glare unsuccessful in deterring you from snickering. you encourage your daughter, "yes, baby, isn't he the prettiest?"
"no." she looked at her father in disgust. "me."
"oh, my apologies. you are so right."
sukuna scoffed. "where'd you think you got your looks from, silly girl?" he crossed his arms, leaning back in the booth. he made no move to take off the cardboard crown, though.
you gave him a look. "i helped too??"
he grinned deviously and pulled you into his side, squeezing your hips. "don't kid yourself, doll. you didn't even try."
© miniimight ! thanks for reading <3
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luvth0t · 5 months
Text
SLUT! ━ C.L
Tumblr media
based off ‘slut!’ by taylor swift
or
in which you work in a man’s world, and loving your competitor is a lot more damning for you than charles.
warnings; smut, driver!reader, themes of sexism and misogyny and touches on inequality, angst, lotta tension tbh, she’s kinda long, unprotected sex, overstimulation, praise, degradation like once, public sex, jealousy and maybe a bad friend reader if u squint, haas suck, manifested monaco win for charles :p
lovelorn and nobody knows
love thorns all over this rose,
i’ll pay the price, you won’t
you’d overcome enough challenges in your life.
you’d constantly proven everyone wrong, do what those said you can’t ━ every step and move you made was met with criticism instead of praise. doubt instead of belief.
you found a way. you broke the records, created your own more so. first modern day female f1 driver, and you didn’t intend to be the last.
haas wasn’t where you wanted to be, and while most expected you to be happy with just having a seat; that’s not why you were here. you didn’t fall in love with the sport to just become a driver.
you wanted to win. podiums, wins, championships. like the other 19 drivers ━ you all wanted the same thing.
for some reason you were the only one who got laughed at when speaking on such wants.
but you got used to the laughter, to the unamused or unimpressed journalists ━ this was a man’s world.
that didn’t scare you as a 14 year old girl, and it wouldn’t scare you now.
all these challenges and obstacles that you overcame, all the doubt and hate you shook off; yet there was a certain something you just couldn’t shake.
certain someone more so.
it killed you inside that a man of all things could cause you so much grief, so much internal conflict.
for some reason when it came to charles, you just couldn’t resist. putting your career first, which you’d done all your life, suddenly became difficult.
you didn’t show it, you also weren’t too hard on yourself. it was unfair to be in this position in the first place. to have to be so aware of your relation to the driver, any other drivers of that matter, was a circumstance only you found yourself in.
friendships and banters amongst any other pairings on the grid was adored; snatched up by social media and cameras.
your friendships caused headlines and unwanted press apparently.
it was something you picked up on quickly, the obsession of romance and the assumption that you wanted to sleep with every damn man you raced alongside.
you laughed at it, spoke down on such thing; then didn’t give it any of your time.
until suddenly the rumours were true; charles leclerc had somehow weaselled his way past every barrier and wall you put up.
it wasn’t something you accepted quickly. and once you caught wind of your stupid little heart and it’s fondness of the monegasque you were quick to try put the friendship and it’s entirety six feet under.
this worked, for a few months.
charles had been confused ━ under the assumption you two were at the bare minimum friends. as good as friends as two drivers could get at least. then suddenly you avoided him as if he was carrying the plague.
he couldn’t question it however; it’d be pathetic. to ask you why you refused to meet his eyes in press conferences and drivers briefings anymore.
why you avoided whatever side of the drivers parade truck he was on. why you couldn’t spare him more than a ‘hello’ in passing these days.
he interacted less with other drivers, and didn’t question them. so he couldn’t question you.
las vegas however, was your downfall.
drinking was unavoidable ━ daniel had made you promise to go out with him the moment you congratulated him on his return; and if it hadn’t been him, you knew someone would’ve of.
with daniel, there was max. that was fine; you got on well with max.
then there were talks lando would make it out, despite having gone to hospital; you knew a couple other drivers would also be in the same club you were. an entry fee so high, everyone around you was oozing importance and wealth.
it shouldn’t have surprised you when suddenly charles appeared at an already drunk daniel’s side; loud laughter and murmurs of a prior vegas trip giving you enough time to down your drink in preparation to be in his presence.
you couldn’t run, not when stood in a group of four; silver slip dress doing little to allow you to blend in with the crowd around you.
you felt his gaze on you before your eyes met his, almost as if it was causing heat on your skin ━ demanding you to look at him.
his eyes had met yours with a slight twinkle, slightly hooded and telling you that he too had enough alcohol running in his veins; and the lazy smile he flashed you had your own lips curving upwards with little resistance.
it was embarassing the way your cheeks went a tint of pink as you watched him weave around daniel who was now speaking to max, too engrossed in a story to care about the way charles moved him out of the way, to stand next to you.
immediately you were aware of his hand finding the small of your back as your body became aware of the closeness of him, breath getting caught in your throat as he leant down towards your ear.
“you look incredible,” the compliment was genuine; the smile accompanying his words rendering you unable to find room to complain.
suddenly it was too hot in here. you’d like to blame the alcohol, or the stuffy club. but the man to your left was the only reason you suddenly craved fresh air.
“thank you,” you hummed, not creating distance between the pair of you despite the idea crossing your mind. he was too close, you should step away. but his cologne smelt incredible. and his hand was still lingering on your back lightly.
his smile only grew at your response, having expected you to wiggle away and disappear into the crowd.
the conversation was harmless, it always had been; but speaking with charles was just a reminder that he was one of the good ones.
he’d only ever been kind to you; kind to everyone. one of the first to speak with you like any other driver, speak about racing and your careers without undermining you.
the more time you spent with him the more clear it became that he was flawless. and oh so tempting.
maybe you would’ve ended the conversation when daniel gave you an out, interrupting the pair of you. but it was with shots on a tray next to him.
three shots later and the four of you were all cringing, scrambling to find chasers; charles offering you a lime that you quickly took ━ managing to squirt lime juice everywhere but your mouth.
it had the pair of you erupting into giggles, your hands quickly landing on his shirt which was now speckled in droplets.
“i’m so sorry!” you exasperated, only now becoming aware of the way you were struggling to stand up straight. using his chest to balance you momentarily.
he wasn’t doing any better, telling you it was fine through his own laughter; his hand lifting to your face ━ thumb brushing a few droplets off your cheek as he too swayed side to side.
your eyes met, both drunken and amused ━ and suddenly all rational thoughts had left your body.
“we need another.” you declared, hand grasping around his forearm; watching as his lips parted to disagree. but he couldn’t. a good time too tempting to resist right now.
max and daniel were long forgotten as you weaved through the crowd to the bar to sought after shots of your own; unable to identify the moment your hands had taken grasp of each other.
it was a fun two hours; innocent as well, flirtatious maybe but his hand didn’t stoop lower than your back ━ drinks consistently being poured; drivers, personnel, sponsors and fans rotating through. but you didn’t leave charles side.
you weren’t on edge either, not thinking about the what ifs. about tomorrow or the next week. just enjoying the moment.
time had gone incredibly quickly. you lost track of how many hours had been spent at the bar, how many drinks you’d downed.
charles too, until you were leaning further and further into his side. his intake stopped the moment he realised you were now struggling to stand straight.
the thought entered his mind to find a member of your team, haas or personal, to help you get you to your room soon.
he was drunk, there was no doubt about it. but he was attempting to sober up in your presence.
when you spilt a drink over the bar however, he took responsibility and declared your night was over.
it was a struggle, as his hands clasped around your arms and attempted to push you towards the exit ━ quickly realising he too was struggling to walk straight.
he’d managed however, getting you into the back of his drivers car not as easy with you dropping your phone. then him his wallet, resulting in drunken giggles and mumbles as you finally got buckled in and situated.
most of the car ride was filled with you rambling, charles more than happy to let you speak. he’d missed hearing from you ━ even if he could barely make sense and keep up with your story.
it wasn’t until you were stumbling in the hotel, through the underground entrance thankfully, and into the elevator that there was moments of silence.
you leaned back against the wall, watching as charles pressed the buttons. admiring more so, head titled aside as you gazed over the ferarri driver.
only then did you realise you shouldn’t be in this position. because all you wanted to do was get your hands on him. admire him up close, the distance of the elevator a rude difference to how the night had been spent.
your arms reached upwards, practically beckoning him over; and with an amused smile he easily fell into place ━ approaching you as his hand pressed against the wall beside your head, eyebrows raising upwards in curiosity as he peered down at you.
your arms wrapped around his neck naturally, neither of you phased from the new closeness and comfortability ━ your eyes flickering over his face, lingering on his lips for a few moments too long.
“i want to kiss you,” the words escaped your lips without any thought; it was as if a weight was lifted off your chest. some form of confession quite relieving.
charles hummed at your words, smirking even as he let out a breathy chuckle.
“yeah?” he teased ━ his breath fanning your face, and you nodded without any hesitation. it’s not what you wanted that had you not making any movements.
“mhm,” you sighed, head falling back; charles having not expected the huff of disappointment. you missed the way his eyebrows furrowed for a split second. if he was sober maybe he’d pick up on your internal conflict.
“kiss me then,” charles chimed, hand finding the side of your head; cupping your cheek so delicately you could only lean into the embrace.
never had you called on such will power and mental strength, fighting every instinct and nerve in your body that was practically yearning for him. begging you to put yourself out of your misery for once and rid the distance between the pair of you.
but you hadn’t come so far for nothing. you could only make so many drunken decisions.
“i can’t,” the words were painful to say, even the slight numbness that alcohol brought; you felt every sting of the sentence.
you watched the way his lips only curved upwards, he hadn’t picked up on the seriousness of your words.
“why not?” the question was teasing, his thumb caressing your cheek making it difficult to stick to your guns.
you looked at him as if he should know; because you’d hope he’d have some sort of idea. maybe if you could see straight you would’ve realised that charles reality wasn’t the same of yours.
“people will talk.” it sounded pathetic when you said it out loud, the sentence sobering you up enough to realise such thing. you weren’t one to usually care what people thought, so the way his smile faltered made sense.
charles took a few moments to process your words ━ he would’ve stepped away if it weren’t for your arms around him.
he wanted to point out that you two were in fact alone, but he knew what you meant. no secret was kept secret for long in the world of f1.
“let them.” charles attempted to dismiss, a cheesy smile to match, one that had you smiling as well. but it wasn’t the grin you’d been carrying all night. it was a sympathetic one almost.
charles was putting some pieces together now, as much as he could at least. your avoidance of him was making more sense with the words currently leaving your lips.
“wouldn’t fair well for me,” you mumbled; the disappointment clear in your tone. the annoyance at the fact there was clearly something stopping you. your mood was falling, charles noticed that easily.
and while he himself wasn’t overjoyed with how the night was concluding, he wouldn’t let it be ruined.
“it’s okay,” charles reassured quickly, his lips pressing to your forehead delicately instead ━ you shouldn’t have to explain yourself, he didn’t want you to feel as if you needed too. “let’s get you to bed.” he grinned.
the affectionate action caught you off guard, left speechless as his hand grasped yours and began to directing you out of the elevator. it only having you feeling regret and self pity for letting the moment escape your fingertips.
which only piled on you tenfold when he left your hotel room barely after making it two steps inside.
climbing into the sheets alone had never been so painful.
painful. a good word to describe the next few interactions with charles.
abu dhabi had you on edge. you didn’t know how to face him.
it was typical, finding yourself sat next to him in the drivers press conference. feeling as if every journalist in the room would take note of the exchanging glances, the way your eyes would quickly find something else if his met yours. the way you listened to him speak a little too intently.
charles however had no worries. not a thought in his mind as he shamelessly admired you, listening to every answer you gave. watching as you reacted to the words of other drivers or questions that weren’t to do with you. he couldn’t look away.
you’d avoided him all morning and yesterday; having not caught you after vegas.
charles was used to such behaviour, except now, he knew why. and your reasoning wasn’t good enough to him.
you two could be friends; it didn’t need to be one extreme or the other. so he had no shame in putting in effort to deter yours.
it was frustrating, almost as if every corner you turned he was there. all weekend, if you were not in the haas hospitality or your motor home, charles was near.
it was no coincidence, leaving the press pen at the same time; passing him after any interview, stuck next to him at the drivers briefing.
you couldn’t avoid the conversation, every moment with him was just pushing you further to the edge ━ your self control was hanging by a very thin thread and you were almost ready to cut it every time those damn green eyes linger on yours.
when you arrived at your hotel after qualifying, it was easy to spot him waiting in the lobby. an odd sight considering the lurking fans.
it made sense however, when charles beelined towards the elevator the moment you did.
you had to hold your breath as you both got inside, biting down on the inside of your cheek to not allow your own frustration bubble over.
“what are you doing?” the question was asked through gritted teeth, and the confusion that masked charles face did little to convince you he was as clueless as he looked.
the twinkle of amusement in his eye revealed enough.
“what do you mean?” the question was almost a challenge, charles peering down at you inquisitively - as if he didn’t know the answer himself.
you took a breath, shaking your head ever so slightly.
to put it simply, you were annoyed. at the world for putting you in this position, at yourself for getting to this point, and him for making it more difficult than it had to be.
“you’re stalking me.” you accused; eyes narrowing into a glare; one that intensified as his own lips curved upwards, and if you weren’t so focused on being annoyed you would’ve swooned over the dimples that lined his cheeks in doing so.
“i am not stalking you,” charles mused, laughing at the accusation as he leant against the wall behind him.
you expected more of an explanation ━ your own eyes trained ahead of you at the elevator doors that remained shut. looking at him was too risky.
“you are. you’re everywhere.” you huffed; not pleased with how clear the frustration was in your tone.
charles wasn’t phased, not in the slightest ━ the grin hadn’t left his face; almost as if any conversation with you was more than enough. even if you were huffing and puffing.
he wasn’t sure how the infatuation had spiralled so quickly; maybe he just wanted what he couldn’t have. the man wasn’t too use to rejection, and last week definitely stumped him.
or maybe he just refused to let you run away from what you clearly both see. feel. there was a connection here, he was sure of it.
“are we not friends?” charles question had you drawing a deep breath, suddenly aware of how slow these elevators were. and recognising the first flaw with being blessed with a penthouse room.
“of course we’re friends.” you rolled your eyes, speaking with such certainty as if you needed to remind yourself. friends.
you two were friends at most, that’s all you’d allow the pair of you to be.
“then you shouldn’t actively avoid me.” charles hummed, no shame in calling out your obvious behaviour that he’d let go on for too long.
it was humorous, the way your jaw dropped in offence at the accusation you knew was true.
“i do not.” your voice went up an octave, not even you could believe your own lie ━ nor try to sell it, avoiding his eye now as your leg began to bounce impatiently. it was becoming suffocating, in an enclosed space with him.
“you do.” charles mocked your voice ever so slightly, but the smile that went along with it left you no room to complain as you glanced over at him; your own lips curving upwards for a mere second.
you had nothing to say. to you it was clear, he knew where you stood. but you weren’t budging. it’s not like you wanted to deprive yourself of him; but you refused to sacrifice your career for a man. call it paranoia; but you don’t want to find out the consequences of adding truth to rumours.
“you don’t trust yourself around me.” charles had you read, and he wanted you to know it.
you two could be, should be, able to be friends at least. the monegasque was unsure as to why he was so set on such thing; some of you, was better than none.
“don’t flatter yourself.” you mumbled, attempting to dismiss his words; he was right. hit the nail on the head actually, but you wouldn’t admit that.
“we can be friends.” charles huffed when he realised he was straying from his original intentions; he didn’t want to provoke or tempt you. just make it clear there can be a platonic relationship here. you shouldn’t be scared of that.
“we are.” you reminded, eyebrows raising as you looked up at him; finally holding eye contact with the driver for more than a few seconds.
“then stop avoiding me.” charles repeated; and he’d be ashamed of how desperate he sounded if he had any room to care. but you were more of a pressing issue.
if he hadn’t called you out on a whole range of fronts you would’ve commented on his desperation; the elevator ding beating you to it regardless as the doors slid open.
“fine. only because you care so much,” your reply was playful; attempting to sound amused and unbothered ━ maybe that would distract from the fact you were agreeing with him.
you only had another day of being around him, you could easily do a day with him. las vegas was an example of your strength and will.
but as his grin widened, dimples and all, green eyes still pouring into yours as he backed out of the elevator; you knew it was never going to be easy.
the sticks and stones they throw froze mid-air
everyone wants him, that was my crime
the wrong place at the right time
of course it wasn’t easy.
you’d kept true to your word, he’d called you out so you finally relented.
the only solace you found in allowing yourself to get closer to charles was the fact you were right.
every moment spent with him felt like a ticking time bomb. you were cracking, you knew it. deep down you knew it was only a matter of time until you shattered and he’d be there to pick up every piece.
at first you’d coincidentally ran into him at your favourite cafe in monaco. not the first time you’d seen him there; but the first time he signalled you to sit down.
it was harmless at first, a quick catch up. one you’d have with any other colleague you’d bump into in public during winter break.
but there was something about seeing him in such casual attire, hoodie and sweats portraying him in a new light you couldn’t help but take a liking too.
what should’ve been five minutes of small talk was two hours of conversation; two hours of mind numbing tension, pretending to not notice the way his eyes would linger on your lips every now and then. or acting oblivious to the way you laughed at every second word that left his lips.
he parted with an offer to go on a run together sometime, and you accepted with the assumption it would be an empty gesture. a plan that never gets put in place.
but then he texted you a few days later; and suddenly you were struggling to find excuses to reject the offer. struggling to find the want too.
a run wasn’t dangerous. you’d both be pre-occupied.
and you were, until you were standing there puffed; exhausted and puffed; and struggling to not grow further flustered of the sight of a sweaty charles.
muscles flexing against the tight shirt, hair messier than usual; cheeks slightly flushed.
inviting him up to your place for a drink wasn’t your intention, but your mouth was a step ahead of your brain.
uncharted territory had now been crossed. messages were swapped regularly, weekly runs together was almost routine. then hours of conversation at either your apartment or his.
if you hadn’t fallen for him before, you definitely had now. it was beyond physical attraction. and it was mutual.
it was the way you found yourself always ensuring you had the biscuits he’d practically raided the first time he was over, always in an unopened packet awaiting him.
the way he found himself buying the lime flavoured water you preferred to drink after exercising; knowing your odd quirk of not being keen on regular water.
the way he came over with your coffee order and a chocolate croissant from your shared favourite cafe when you bailed on your run, apologising to him because you’d become run down with a cold.
“you didn’t have to do that,” you’d sniffled, heart fluttering at the kind gesture.
“what else are friends for,” charles had practically cheesed.
you’d like to convince yourself he was still at a safe distance, it made it easier to ignore the fact this wouldn’t last forever.
the limbo state was not ideal to neither of you, but it was much better than doing what you felt was inevitable. avoiding him again.
except that would just be much harder this time. before it was a crush; now you were swoon. you counted down the days to see him. awaited his name to appear on your phone.
there’d been close calls; moments where you thought one of you would crack.
like the time you struggled to grab a glass out of his cupboard, tippy toes and all it was out of reach.
you felt him behind you before seeing him, hand finding your hip as his other arm simply reached over you to grab a glass; quick to turn on your feet you hadn’t expected him so close.
“thanks,” you had mumbled, clearly flustered as you looked up at him ━ trapped between his frame and the counter; eyes finding his lips immediately.
silence fell over the pair of you, awaiting one of you to make a move.
you were glad charles had cleared his throat and stepped aside, returning to a safe distance ━ because you didn’t think you’d be capable of such thing in that moment.
charles questioned how he managed to do such thing, each and every time you got close to him he doubted how long he could resist being selfish.
he’d failed to realise back in abu dhabi that he neither could trust himself around you. he’d put in so much effort to prove to you that friends was possible, so naive to the fact it may be worse than before.
while he loved your company, it was a cruel reminder that you had ruled out the possibility of this going further. any dreams or fantasies of more would always stay that way; dreams. not reality.
it frustrated him beyond belief, not that he showed it. the way you gazed up at him through your pretty eyes; as if you’d do anything he asked. the way you always leant towards him when you laughed; how easily he could make you laugh.
and he couldn’t do anything about it. because he wasn’t selfish, you feared the consequences of being with him so he would not push you to face them.
deep down however, the pair of you knew it could only be a matter of time.
yet it still stung how easily it could’ve been avoided.
you weren’t meant to go out tonight, it had been a last minute and spontaneous decision; pressured by your friends who insisted, claiming you missed too many girls nights as it is. that winter break was there time to make up for all you miss while away during the season.
you got kicked out of the first bar you found yourself in, all because one of your friends picked a fight with the bartender; but that didn’t bother you in the moment.
on to the next.
it took a whole eight minutes being at the club, one you had subtlety name dropped to get yourself and your friends into, to spot charles in the crowd.
your friends eyes had found him first; your own merely following theirs in curiosity, and you were grateful that all four of you were preoccupied looking at the driver so they would fail to realise your own longing.
“i have not seen him in ages,” your friend stella spoke first; clueless to the developed friendship between the pair of you. you hadn’t really told anyone, call it trust issues.
“we should go say hi,” stella continued; looking at you all with hopefulness; eyes having lit up and appearing incredibly eager.
you couldn’t think of a worse idea. alcohol and charles almost ruined you once; and that was a few months ago. you didn’t think you had that much self control left.
“we have our own driver right here,” your friend had joked, rejecting the idea as she nudged your arm; purely because she wanted a girls night. and you laughed at the stupidity, ready to play along for your own selfish interests.
“unfortunately y/n, you’re not one stella can sleep with again,” your other friend joked through a smirk, alcohol causing word vomit, because by the way stella quickly slapped her arm told you that information she didn’t want shared.
the revelation had your face falling flat, not able to hide such thing as you pursed your lips in thought.
“you and charles?” the words escaped your lips with too much interest but you couldn’t stop yourself. suddenly needing to know more.
stella had let out an exasperated sigh.
you were grateful to know your friend beside you who rejected the idea of speaking to him was as shocked as you.
“ages ago.” stella tried to downplay, waving the idea off. although then she peered over her shoulder to look at the driver again, an innocent smile spreading across her face.
you nodded slightly, trying to muster a fake smile. you couldn’t be mad; it wouldn’t be rational to be mad. even in the slightest.
“i’m gonna go talk to him.” stella announced, and you could only swallow intently as your friend whined about it being girls night, watching as stella promised she’d be back before weaving through the crowd.
you were staring, but you didn’t care.
left to watch as stella made her presence known. watch as charles face lit up at the familiar face, embrace her quickly and introduce her to those he was stood with.
you could tell he was slightly tipsy, the way he was swaying side to side; even with his arm now draped around stella’s shoulders.
the sight made you sick. jealousy was an ugly trait but you’d never embraced it like you were now.
jealous of the fact your friend didn’t have to worry in going after what she wanted. jealous that she could quite happily cling to charles without worrying who saw.
your mood had plummeted, there was no hiding it. your friends definitely noticing but not questioning as they too glanced over at stella to note her progress.
it wasn’t until charles’ eyes found yours across the room that you looked away.
not in shame, you didn’t care that he knew you were watching; but more so to not make it clear how annoyed you were from the sight alone.
charles tensed up the moment he saw you ━ he hadn’t known you were here. and now that he did, the company he was with suddenly wasn’t good enough.
he’d picked up on your cold stare though; the way you failed to offer him your usual sweet smile.
suddenly he felt guilty, quick to remind himself he wasn’t doing anything wrong.
the driver distracted himself momentarily, tuning back into the conversation that was going on around him. but his mind was now elsewhere. you were consuming his thoughts now.
intentions to keep his distance were thrown out the window when he noticed you in his peripheral; standing at the bar alone.
he shouldn’t approach you; but the idea of letting you sit there and think he would rather spend his time with the blonde on his arm than you didn’t sit well with him either.
so he found himself excusing himself, heading to the bar where you stood.
you’d grabbed your drink, and the moment you turned around to head back to your seat and continue your moping, you’d spotted charles headed straight towards you.
a creature of habit; avoid him was your first thought. so you attempted to pretend to not see him, a sudden sense of urgency as you headed back to the booth your two friends were still sat at.
charles picked up on such thing however, his own urgency increasing as he managed to get ahead of you; practically cutting you off.
you’d been so desperate in your attempts to avoid him and his eyes that you collided, your drink taking the brunt of the hit as it fell to the ground; pouring ice and liquid on the floor, thankfully missing the pair of you.
you were quick to glare up at him, made to watch as he put his hands up in innocence and let out a quick and not too meaningful ‘sorry.’
you didn’t want to speak to him. he was an easy target for your current anger, so stepping around him was easy; you’d go without your drink for now, wanting to return to the safety of your booth.
but charles didn’t think that was fair.
he’d grabbed your arm before you made it two steps away; your name falling from his lips almost in warning.
“you don’t get to be mad at me.” charles huffed, it wasn’t fair. you told him that friends was the only possibility, so you had no reason to be glaring daggers and avoiding him as if he’d done something wrong.
he was right, you knew he was right. you weren’t even mad at him. but you were mad; fed up with the constant deprival you had to put yourself through, at how much you cared about what people would say ━ that you couldn’t put you and him out of your shared misery.
but unfortunately you had nothing else to aim your anger at; it was just you and charles in this position, meaning he fell into your firing line.
“i think you care too much about what i think of you.” you tried to dismiss his comment; not wanting to admit he was right, calling out his constant efforts of chasing you.
you watched as his jaw tensed, the breath he let out and his eyes drifting aside as he tried to rationalise his thoughts before he said something he’d regret.
“i didn’t know you knew stella.” charles huffed; deciding on what could be a civil approach. he didn’t need to explain himself, but that would be easier than playing into your game and letting you try create a rift between the pair of you.
you wanted to throw the words back at his face; but you stopped yourself. neither he nor stella owed you any loyalty when it came to one another; definitely not back then, so you couldn’t use it against him.
“it doesn’t matter.” you tried to sound calm, remove yourself from the animosity you held. if you could just get away from him, go home, and pretend this never happened.
“it clearly does.” charles didn’t miss a beat; it would have been easier to blindly believe you but how was that possible when you were refusing to meet his eyes and running away from him.
you shook your head, not knowing what to say because you couldn’t disagree there. he was right; like usual, surprise, surprise. truths were harder to ignore when it was coming from his mouth.
“it shouldn’t.” you spoke simply, before turning on your heel and heading towards the bathroom now; anywhere to get away. the thread was getting thinner, you didn’t trust yourself around him.
he’d debated on following you for a couple seconds, knowing what he should do. return to his friends. to stella; there was no complications there.
but yet he found himself just a few steps behind you, refusing to let you get the last word. to let you fall back into your old habits of avoiding him.
a part of you knew he was following you, or maybe that’s what you wanted to believe. your want to get away from him was just a product of self preservation, not true desire.
so you weren’t surprised to hear your name once you were about to reach the bathroom. turning around to face him with a sigh. you should’ve pretended to not hear him.
“what are you doing?” you huffed; looking at him with lost eyes because you were running out of things to say or do, unsure where to go from here.
“what do you want?” charles question caught you off guard, alongside the fact he took maybe one or two steps too many when catching up to you ━ so close and you couldn’t find the strength to create any distance.
you pursed your lips, shaking your head ever so slightly.
the lack of an answer spoke for itself, you knew what you wanted. him. but admitting such thing would be dangerous.
“you know we can’t━” you started to say, needing to remind yourself that as tempting as he was right now it wasn’t possible.
he cut you off however. charles knew what you thought; what you presumed others would think.
“i don’t care about anyone else. what do you want?” charles repeated, speaking with such intent it would’ve been intimidating if your mind wasn’t a scramble of thoughts.
he was practically begging you to spell it out for him; to face the truth of the matter. if you could look him in the eye and tell him you were happy with what you both had right now, he’d walk away.
but you were never going to do that. you could only bend so far.
you finally snapped.
connecting your lips with his was the easiest option, and the moment you did it was as if nothing else mattered. relief washing over the pair of you, as if a giant weight was suddenly lifted.
there’d been the slightest amount of hesitant in the action, but that was forgotten immediately.
it was rushed and messy at first, months worth of tension bubbling to the surface as your hands both pawed at one another eagerly; grabbing whatever you could.
having your hands on him wasn’t something you’d take for granted; gripping his shirt; moving to his biceps before wrapping around his neck.
his intentions were similar to yours, his large hands sprawling amongst the sides of your waist ━ not bothered by the way it caused your dress to bunch ever so slightly. he tugged you closer too, as if he was scared you’d leave his grasp.
he managed to back you into the bathroom without disconnecting your lips; hand only leaving your waist to fiddle blindly with the lock.
the kiss was still messy, eager and heated; gasping into his mouth when your back suddenly hit the wall. charles body enclosing you immediately, your legs suddenly feeling week as his hips pressed forward against yours.
it was not surprising that it didn’t stop their, neither of you were stopping now that the ice had been broken.
the night concluding with your hands spread on the wall ahead of you as charles pounded you from behind, dress bunched around your waist and panties pulled aside.
“gotta be quiet mon amour,” he’d whispered into your ear after your moans continued to grow in volume ━ his hand then moving to your jaw, sliding two fingers past your lips to shut you up.
you would’ve died happily in that moment, moments away from the best orgasm of your life.
no matter what happened, you wouldn’t be regretting it.
and I break down, then he's pullin' me in
in a world of boys, he's a gentleman
you hadn’t seen charles since that night in monaco.
he’d left for maranello not too long after, then you spent the rest of break in america; the season approaching relatively quickly.
messages were swapped, but nothing more.
testing was hectic, you didn’t get to see him or spend time with him even if you wanted too.
you weren’t sure you wanted to however. you missed him, that had been mutually expressed over text. but both you and he were scared; unsure how to navigate what happens now.
because unfortunately the circumstances hadn’t changed, you’d just gotten a taste of one another.
by the time it was raceday at bahrain, all excitement for the start of the season had left your body.
thursday set the tone; all your hard work, months of avoidance and deprival ━ it suddenly meant nothing.
you first caught wind of such in the press conference, sat alongside max, lewis, lando, carlos and alex.
when you finally got asked a question, your breath got stuck in your throat.
“did you enjoy your winter break? a new trainer in charles it seems?”
the question was posed so innocently, you knew the tone. the cheery and amused light heartedness to mask the undertones; it was accusing. you knew it was; any girl would get it.
you knew photos were circulating of you and charles running around monaco, but that wasn’t an issue. there were photos of you and daniel out for lunch as well. ones of you and toto exchanging hello’s.
what a headline; you got along with people you worked with.
“uh yeah,” you laughed off; biting your tongue, like usual. you knew when to pick your battles. “i’m no good at padel so, stuck to running.” you hummed, left to watch as the journalist nodded almost unconvinced.
it was a sinking feeling; they knew, everyone knew. it’d somehow got out. that you’d slept together. paranoia; you had to remind yourself. they couldn’t know.
“is it difficult to have relations off track with competitors?” he was looking you dead in the eye as he posed another question to you, and it hit a nerve.
you shifted ever so slightly in your seat. you hadn’t faced these sort of questions since your rookie year, when journalists didn’t realise what they should and shouldn’t imply.
you had to hold back a scoff; biting down on the inside of your cheek.
“is that a question for all of us or just me?” you practically challenged, and the awkwardness that fell over the room only had the pit in your stomach growing.
it was as if they all knew something you didn’t.
that was all you were asked, all you could think about as you sat on the couch, itching to get out of this damn room.
but that was just the start.
entering the haas hospitality your gut feeling made sense when you were faced with the entirety of the press team awaiting you.
granted, the press team was only four people. but you only ever really dealt with your own press officer if it was without warning.
the whole conversation was a blur, you felt sick the moment it begun.
‘we need to have a meeting,’
‘there’s photos of you and leclerc,’
‘damming to your reputation. our reputation,’
‘unacceptable behaviour and a breach of contract,’
‘negotiating to not let mainstream media run with it,’
‘we’re opening our own private investigation.’
you were being spoken at, no room to reply, no ounce of sympathy. you could feel the disgust as they spoke. as if you’d actually done something wrong.
“investigation?” you repeated in confusion, bewildered as you glanced between the lot of them.
you didn’t know what to say. or do.
deny? beg them to cover it up? apologise?
you felt like that 13 year old girl again, that anything you said wouldn’t matter. keeping your mouth shut as they broke out in chatter again.
short. blunt. your own press officer not even sticking around as they the dispersed, even mentioning that gene would probably be calling later.
you felt like you were going to throw up the moment you got into the privacy of your drivers room, it only taking a few seconds to find the photos flooding your timeline.
monaco. it was undeniable. it was definitely him, definitely you, kissing.
you held back your tears, determined to not let the comments ruin you. your press teams words lingering, but you pushed them back.
the day dragged, you were on edge; one wrong move and an on pour of tears would arise to the surface. just needed to wait till you were in the privacy of your hotel room.
these people would not see you cry.
you hadn’t expected the cold shoulder from your own team. but it was your manager that was the tip of the iceberg.
you hadn’t seen him all day, a close friend you’d consider him, he’d been with you since f3.
“where have you been?” you breathed as you climbed into the car, more than relieved to be leaving the track. and hopefully every conversation that was had.
“cleaning your mess.” he’d muttered in annoyance, and you couldn’t help but shake your head as your jaw clenched.
“not you too,” it was an attempt of a joke, head resting against the window. “don’t know why people are acting like i shared the teams 3 year plan with the enemy,” you huffed.
but you were only met with silence, causing your eyes to glance to your manager who was focused on his laptop in his lap.
“i mean it jason. the way i was treated today was━” you began to speak up at his silence, anger was easier than the self pity.
“what did you expect?” his question was venomous, shutting you up quickly as you stared at him with a slack jaw. it took a few moments to process, how he was on side with them.
or more importantly, not on your side. the guy who you pay to be on your side.
“for my personal life to remain personal.” you spoke like it was obvious.
you had feared this, yes, but that didn’t mean it was right. maybe you held onto hope your lack of faith in the world was misplaced. but everyone was proving you right.
he shook his head simply, so disappointingly you had to laugh, eyes gazing back out the window as you rapidly approached the hotel.
“i thought you didn’t want to be known for this.” his comment was a throw away one, but it cut you deep. his insinuation one he knew would sting, so you didn’t hide the fact it did.
“known for what?” you spoke through gritted teeth; if he wanted to insult you he better not half ass it.
there was moment of silence, hesitance; but not long enough.
“sleeping around.” he shrugged, still typing away on his computer. “great way to halt contract talks. i mean come on y/n,” he groaned.
you weren’t sure if he was right, you’d like to think your talent would over shine paddock gossip. but if he was right, the problem should lie with teams misogyny. not your sex life.
you highly doubt ferarri will hesitate resigning charles because of the matter.
you didn’t say another word, not trusting your voice; it was too much. felt like you were being attacked from every angle. ambushed even.
you’d slammed the door the moment you got out the car, urgently getting inside the hotel; managing to find the elevator through blurry eyes, tears threatening to spill.
almost there.
the elevator ride was testing, the silence made your short breaths and sniffles hard to ignore as you tiptoed on the line of breaking.
the final straw however, was charles himself leaving his hotel room as you navigated your way to yours.
your name had never sounded so delicate coming from his lips, as if he knew that you were fragile, sympathetic eyes as he took a few steps towards you.
“don’t━” you breathed out, voice breaking on you before you could say his name. your hand raising to tell him to stay where he was.
the first tear fell, silently.
“i’m so sorry,” he breathed out; cautiously stepping forwards despite your action. it broke him, the sight of you. he’d never seen you so upset.
overjoyed, pissed off, ecstatic, confused, riled up; he’d seen it all. but never had he seen you cry.
“you’re the last person i want to see right now.” you managed to get out.
lie.
complete lie, but unfortunately once more he was an easy target. the face of today’s events and the reason for fractures in practically every professional relationship you’d formed over the years.
charles didn’t take your words to heart, watching as you fumbled to find your room key; your shaky hands had him frowning, behind you now as he grabbed your arm when you took a step inside.
“please,” charles sighed; desperate for you to let him help. let him comfort you. he felt responsible, but it wasn’t guilt that was pushing him towards you.
just the need to ensure you were okay.
he’d barely received a slap on the wrist. told by his press team to ���be more careful next time.’ and reminded issues would arise if talks of strategy and racing came to light.
that was that. his day went on. he almost got ahead of himself, optimistic the day could end with him showing up at your door to tell you that you never had anything to worry about.
but word spread quickly in the paddock, and charles caught onto the double standards incredibly quickly with how you were being spoken about in comparison to him.
you didn’t trust your voice once more, simply shaking your head ‘no’ as you got inside, attempting to shake his grasp.
he didn’t let you however, which was almost a relief.
the door shut behind the pair of you, charles tugging you towards his chest immediately.
you had no more strength, no fight left; simply letting him do so as the tears poured.
your head met his chest, arms clinging to his shirt as his arms went around you; holding you close as he mumbled encouraging words.
he felt like a safe place, allowing you to be weak and vulnerable with no fear for the first time in a long time.
quiet sobs and sniffles escaped you as you shook in his hold. it wasn’t just a days worth of torment, no, but all the other shit you put up with from the start of your career.
charles wasn’t sure what to say, just that it’d be okay. let it out. i’ve got you.
his hand was running through your hair delicately, and you somehow register the multiple kisses he pressed to the top of your head; such subtle actions that managed to slow your heart rate.
“i’m so sorry,” charles words were whispered, it was what brought you out of your own head; teary eyed peering up at him as you shook your head.
this wasn’t his fault.
“not your fault,” you spoke through a deep breath, starting to gain your composure. still timid, but you’d gotten the tears out.
“it’s not yours either.” charles spoke in certainty, sounding pissed off. because he was. and it made your stomach flip.
it was the bare minimum, but hearing someone be in your corner was exactly what you needed. the fact it was charles was just a bonus.
“i mean it’s more my fault than yours. i didn’t leave you alone, putain, i am sorry,” he began to ramble. the guilt was eating him alive. you’d tried to avoid this ━ he couldn’t help but feel as if he threw you into the lions den.
you disagreed however. deep down, this all felt inevitable. like it was a matter of when, not if. you were so scared of this happening because apart of you knew there was no avoiding it.
“i don’t regret it.” you told him in certainty, hand moving to cup his cheek; offering a sad smile. “it’s just━ not fair.” you mumbled.
his smile mirrored yours, lacking the usual brightness it held as thumb lifted to your cheeks; brushing away the tears staining your skin.
“it’s gonna be okay. i’ll fix this.” charles promised, but it wasn’t a promise he could keep. you knew that, your head tilting aside as you sighed.
his intentions were pure, held your best interest at heart.
“m’ just gonna have to let it blow over.” you told him, taking a sharp inhale. that didn’t answer the question that lingered between the pair of you.
what this was. what you two were.
he nodded ever so slightly, frustration growing at the fact he couldn’t fix it himself. he wanted to help. to rid you both of the outside noise and judgmental opinions.
“but i think━” you’d cut yourself off, you didn’t want to say it.
he knew however, by the way your grip had tightened on his shirt. the way your eyes held sympathy and sorrow. he knew what you were going to say.
“i know,” charles sighed; nodding in reassurance.
this needed to stop. whatever this was, it couldn’t go further. not for now at least; charles knew that.
rumours won’t die down if there is still truth to them.
your bottom lip quivered slightly at the sight of the sad smile he showed you; the way he was so willing to comply.
you hated the fact you both had to suffer, all for what?
“i’ll stay away, i promise,” charles hummed; biting down on the inside of his cheek as he ran his fingers through your hair once more.
you still had no words, because it was the last thing you wanted. yet somehow was what you needed.
you’d like to say to hell with it, to tell him you didn’t care. that you could be together, and figure out the latter.
but today had been hell; you weren’t sure it was something you could get used too.
“thank you,” you whispered out; charles only response was pulling you close once more, knowing when he let you go, it would be for good.
he had to let you go.
but if I'm all dressed up, they might as well be looking at us
if they call me a slut, you know it might be worth it for once
charles stayed true to his word.
it was obvious, the way you two steered clear of each other.
talk of you and him died down, the paddock found something else to focus on within a couple weeks; and it was just another story for the history books that would be brought up every now and then.
their was awkwardness in the team however.
their investigation closed with no findings, something you laughed at.
a motivator; to get the fuck out of there.
it paid off, comfortably beating your teammate. dragging the car into the points most weeks.
talks with mercedes was going well, progressing nicely ━ you wanted to emphasise to your manager that charles hadn’t been mentioned once from them either.
but you weren’t going to dwell on the past.
not audibly at least.
charles was a sacrifice you hated making, and it was mutual.
it was cruel, the way you were too scared to meet his eye if cameras were around. scared one wrong move and you’d be jumped on by prying eyes and gossipers.
charles too shared your fear; he didn’t want to put you in a compromising position. and while it was physically painful to cut you off completely, he managed.
none was easier than some, it seemed.
it was laughable, how the pair of you actually believed the avoidance would stick this time. that it would actually work.
couldn’t even make it to summer break, a few months apart was bound to be all you could endure.
monaco, a race you’ll never forget.
your signing with mercedes was announced on the thursday; a milestone in your career, a highlight.
you were ecstatic, nay-sayers and doubters did little to dull your mood ━ nothing would ruin such an achievement.
but it motivated you.
you heard it all before, when you signed with haas. how it was a PR move, not on merit. for the money you would bring in. the commercial value.
it was the same thing, and the need to prove people wrong was always a blessing when you got in the car.
it’d been a wet qualifying, playing into your favour. putting the car into p3 meant everything would’ve had fallen into place. and it did.
you were overjoyed, the smile had not been wiped off your face. you were proving that contract was yours based off your talent.
you went on to hold onto p3 in the race and secure a podium, you were high off adrenaline and excitement the moment you got out of the car.
you’d handled the pressure, failed to make a mistake; blessed to have had your best qualifying at the hardest place to overtake.
the other headline of the weekend?
charles had finally won his home race.
he wasn’t on your mind, not as you shared the podium. or as you faced the media together afterwards.
you cared deeply for charles, but this was your childhood dream. years worth of hard-work had finally paid off. being near him wasn’t hard, for once, because you had way too many things to currently be happy about.
it was civi and casual, friendly; in the cool down room, on the podium; in the interview.
it wasn’t until later that night, on a random super-yacht, surrounded by drunken socialites and f1 personalities that temptation reached you once more.
you’d barely had a drink, being pulled in every way and direction; talking to many that you didn’t have time to sip the half full glass in your hand.
charles knew this; he’d been watching you all night.
his dream had come true, winning in monaco; in front of his home fans.
call him greedy for wanting more as he stood on the yacht, surrounded by his friends as his eyes settled on you.
he couldn’t help but think of the only way to make this night perfect; you.
the praise and congratulations from everyone else was nice, but he was dying to hear it from you.
to congratulate you as well. on your podium. on your contract.
he thought he was over it, the unfairness of it all. but this was a new challenge.
watching as you stood there, hugging everyone. beaming and laughing, as you should.
would it be so wrong for him to congratulate you as well? to steal a couple minutes of your time? he’d promised to stay away, but this had to be an exception.
right?
so charles went against his word, weaving through the crowd the moment you caught a break in conversations.
uncharacteristically dismissing those who tried to speak to him as he set on his way towards you, nothing would stop him.
“hey,” charles made his presence known; capturing your attention; and the way your eyes lit up and lips curved upwards, he wanted to kill whoever had deprived him of such sight for however many months.
“hi!” you couldn’t help but sound surprised, pleasantly surprised.
you’d been wanting to talk to him; which wasn’t anything new. needing to talk to him however, just unsure how to navigate such thing.
“congratulations. sure you’ve heard it all, but you deserve this.” charles words were genuine; smiling down at you proudly, and while you had heard it all the past couple hours; it meant more coming from him. “the contract as well. huge news,” he added.
your nose scrunched up slightly, grinning ━ pure happiness present because you really were oh so happy.
“thank you,” you smiled; nodding appreciatively. “i should say the same to you. i know how much this win means to you,” you spoke; and charles could only smile at the way you sounded so sincere.
“thank you,” his turn to offer thanks, a silence falling over the pair of you.
that was all you should say, all you were sure was excusable.
it was clear, the way you both had so much on the tip of your tongue; too scared to let it out. neither wanting to be the one to crack. to undone all the hard work.
charles so desperately wanted to rant his heart out, remind both you and himself that the past few months had been undeserved torture. and he was convinced he was going to for a moment.
but he couldn’t. he wouldn’t be selfish with you.
“well i’ll see you━” charles had cleared his throat, ready to do the right thing. to walk away, like he promised he would.
but you cut him off. scared if you didn’t tell him now, you never would.
“wait.” you interrupted, pursing your lips; and he was happy to shut up. he didn’t need any convincing to stay put.
“i uh, with my mercedes contract…” you trailed off; biting your lip. “i made it clear, what expectations would be of me. on and off track, obviously. like anyone would,” you rambled slightly; nervously even.
charles wasn’t sure he’d ever seen you nervous.
you were nervous because of what you were implying.
you’d made it clear you didn’t want to be held to any individual expectations off track, that your relations with others wouldn’t concern the team if it didn’t jeopardise the team.
you were grateful, how understanding mercedes were. a breath of fresh air really. so much you’d basically outright told them that you didn’t want you and charles to be an issue, if anything were to arise between the pair of you.
you’d figured if you had a team that backed you, handling outside noise and assumptions would be made a lot easier.
“me and you, it wouldn’t be an issue.” you summed up; practically spitting it out. it felt weird, suddenly lacking confidence as you referenced a ‘you and him.’ worried that ship had sailed.
you watched as his eyebrows raised, lips parting in surprise.
he hadn’t expected you to say such thing, the one thing he’d dreamt of you saying one too many times.
“if that uh, you know. ever happens, i don’t know,” you added on; feeling the need to back pedal, not wanting to come off headstrong. it was the reason for your hesitance. you and charles had never discussed what you were, because it never seemed possible.
charles wasn’t sure what to say. his first instinct was to kiss you; because it seemed as if this was the best night of his life, with all his hopes and dreams coming true.
but his care for you trumped all.
“people will still talk,” he couldn’t help but remind softly. not to argue against you, but to ensure you knew exactly what you were implying. he knew the rush you were feeling, first podium. fresh off multiple highs, he didn’t want you to come crashing down tomorrow and regret these words tonight.
he didn’t know you’d already assessed all your options, weighed up the two cons. your mind had been made up, you just needed to bite the bullet.
you’d already been through it, called every name in the book. may as well make it all for something.
“let them.” you breathed out, a shy smile following suit, mischievous almost, quoting him from that night in vegas. you’d said it with confidence, such conviction he knew you meant it.
his smile was bright, practically beaming at you as he nodded. unsure what to do next, but he didn’t care. he liked the way things were looking.
he hadn’t expected you to kiss him, in the middle of the crowded floor, but god he wasn’t complaining ━ hands finding the small of your back as yours wrapped around his neck.
you’d pulled away shortly afterwards, not creating any distance as your foreheads touched.
“if you still want this of course,” you spoke; just above a whisper, realising you hadn’t really let him confirm he still wanted this.
he’d laughed, at the idea alone he didn’t. shaking his head at the thought as he brought his hand up to cup your face.
“all i could think about tonight, was that the only thing that would make today truely perfect, would be sharing it with you.” charles confessed; taking in the way you lit up at his words, watching as any last doubts or fears vanished from your frame.
you were relaxed, happy and carefree; not one bit of energy spent on anyone around you. who saw, who cared; it meant nothing to you.
you giggled as you pressed your lips to his again, passionately this time; charles leaning over you as he held your body close to his, smiling against your pink lips.
it felt incredibly cliche, as if you were the only two people on the yacht in the moment.
he’d murmured something about getting out of here only moments later, you being quick to agree.
patience was something you’d both demonstrated incredibly well over the last year; safe to say you both had none left to spare.
navigating the crowd hand in hand almost felt like a rush, relieving to not care as you followed him off the yacht; giddy like teenagers as you climbed into the back of a car.
he’d barely gotten his address out before you were on him again, lips pressed against his as you gripped his shirt.
charles hand tangled in your hair, revelling in the way your lips felt against his. he’d spent many nights recounting your night together; attempting to cling to the feeling and pleasure it brought. this was ten times better than what his imagination could produce.
the only time you kept your hands off him was the short walk from the car to the elevator of his apartment complex, the moment the doors slid shut you found yourself pressed against the wall ━ his hands gripping your hips and lips attacking your neck.
you became breathless quickly, satisfied hums escaping you; head tilting back to give him as much access as he wanted.
“have i ever told you how beautiful you are mon ange,” charles sighed against your skin; only lifting his head when he heard the doors ring open.
you smiled at him stupidly, taking in the sight. his pretty green eyes, slightly swollen lips and tussled hair. more beautiful than anything you’d ever seen before.
“come on,” you mused with a blush, urging him to head to his room; in quick pursuit.
you’d barley gotten your heels off once inside when charles was snaking his hands under your thighs, hoisting you up as your legs wrapped around his waist.
it didn’t feel really; finally able to have you like this.
“gonna make you feel so good,” charles murmured against your lips as he navigated his way through the apartment, hands squeezing your ass which granted a gasp from you. “deserve so much more than a quickie in the bathroom,” he commented.
while your first time together was more than satisfying, it was rushed. muffled moans and chasing release desperately with fear the moment could’ve been ruined in any moment.
tonight you were all his. no need to keep you quiet, no limit to the positions he could put you in.
he sat at the end of his bed; you not taking long to get comfortable in his lap as your lips moved roughly against his; hips grinding as you did so.
“you won,” you breathed out as you shifted your attention up his jaw, teeth catching his ear momentarily as you kissed at the skin of his neck. “let me make you feel good,” you whispered; charles head tilting back as he audibly groaned. “you deserve it,”
charles always loved praise, his ego thrived on it. but god, hearing it from you? his pants were feeling way too tight.
he couldn’t say no to you, not that’d he’d ever want too.
you didn’t give him any time to reply regardless, climbing off his lap and standing between his legs momentarily, hands holding onto his knees as you pressed one lingering kiss to his lips.
sinking to your knees, you were incredibly eager. a scenario you’d play out too many times as your hands got to work in freeing his cock.
charles lips parted as he rested back on his hands, head tilted downwards as he watched you intently ━ biting down on the inside of his cheek at the sight alone.
his breaths only got heavier as you spat in your hand and jacked him off a couple times, hissing as your thumb rolled over his tip.
the sight was better than you could imagine, as you took him in your mouth and watched his head fall back. his clenched jaw, neck muscles and arms flexing as he groaned.
it had your thighs clenching together, not wasting time in bobbing your head; taking as much of him as you could; hitting the back of your throat each time but it did little to deter you.
“putain,” charles grunted under his breath ━ forcing himself to tilt his head back down to watch you work, hand gathering your hair in a makeshift pony tail. and the way his lips curved into a smirk when your eyes met his had your thighs clenching once more.
“there you go pretty girl, taking me so well,” charles huffed ━ noting the way you gagged around him every now and then, yet showed no signs of slowing down. “mouth is fucking heaven,”
his praise only encouraged you further, doe eyes staring up at him through your lashes; tears welling in your eyes.
your hand was holding his thigh for support, watchinf as he busied himself momentarily by ridding himself of his shirt ━ revealing his toned torso flexing with each sharp breath he took.
“pull your dress down,” his words were direct, a clear demand and with him staring down at you like he was ready to ruin you, you didn’t need to be told twice. tugging your dress down to free your breasts.
his admiring eyes raked your body shamelessly, pleasure only increasing from the sight. you were fucking perfect, and he couldn’t believe this was real.
it was as if you caught on to the moment, reading him perfectly as your efforts picked up ━ keen to make him cum.
and by the way he was starting to tug on your hair, you knew he was close.
he came in your mouth moments later with little warning, and you were practically squirming in your place as you licked him clean.
“you’re perfect,” charles breathed after catching his breath, which happened incredibly quickly; signalling you to climb back into his lap.
you giggled as you did so, grinning as you pressed your lips to his once more; straddling him with ease as your hands spread across his toned chest ━ happy to touch him now that he was back in reach.
his hand moved up your leg, pushing your panties aside and cupping your cunt with little warning; causing you to moan into his mouth.
“you’re fucking soaked,” charles spoke, pulling back to watch your face contort in pleasure; watch as you became putty in his hold. “barely touched you yet baby,” he cooed ━ you couldn’t help but whine, hips bucking against his hand as he circled your clit.
he took in every feature on your pretty face, able to live in the moment and not be rushed like last time. make you feel everything he wanted you too.
“who would’ve guessed you were such a slut,” charles mused; practically toying with you. he couldn’t help himself, not when you looked so pretty panting and whimpering in his lap.
“for you.” you whimpered, hand gripping his bicep tightly as your hips moved against his hand; yearning for more.
he grinned widely at that, rewarding your words as a finger pushed past your folds unexpectedly.
“all for me.” charles hummed in agreement, words still slightly breathless himself as his other hand moved to cup the side of your face, making avoiding his eyes impossible. “all mine.”
the statement had your stomach flipping, words you could used to. something you’d know a long time, but hearing it out loud was so refreshing.
you were his. he was yours.
“please charles,” you whined out impatiently, his toying with your cunt felt good; but you need more, your thighs a painted mess along with his hand by now.
your plea had him hardening again, words sounding so alluring coming from your lips.
“what do you want mon amour?” charles spoke through a breath, eyes gazing over you as if you were the most gorgeous thing he’d ever seen. because you were. “tell me, i’ll give it to you,” he promised; thumb grazing your cheek; such a delicate action that didn’t correlate with his thumb teasing your clit expertly.
you whimpered again, cheeks a tint of pink as your eyes fluttered shut momentarily, but they found charles gaze once more.
“all of you,” you spoke. “wanna feel you,” you sighed; his cock was pressing against your inner thigh ━ not helping with the urge to feel him inside you.
his lips curved upwards, pleased with your answer; and unable to deny himself any longer either. you’d both been through enough torture, he wouldn’t be delaying this any longer.
“want me to fuck you yeah?” charles paraphrased for you, hand leaving your cunt to find your waist; lifting you off his lap with ease and laying you beside him.
he was hovering over you within seconds, leaving you to nod eagerly below him. your hands found the hem of your dress, tugging it up and over your head as if that would help entice him.
but he didn’t need any help; he doesn’t think he’d last another second without being inside you.
he slid inside you without another word, your gasps intertwining as your own head fell back against his pillow; eyes fluttering shut at the stretch.
he gave you a moment to adjust, his head falling into the crook of your neck; light kisses peppered on your skin, a contrast to the way he was about to fuck you.
your hands tugging on his hair told him you wanted more; thrusting into you slowly and deeply at first, your mouth fell agape at the angle it hit ━ moans beginning to fall from your lips.
“charles, fuck,” you mumbled ━ fingers moving down his back, sure to leave marks as he gradually picked up the pace.
his thrusts got quicker, but not softer; fucking you into the mattress, all you could do was whimper and moan ━ eyes rolling back at the pleasuring sensation.
“so perfect for me,” charles grunted; the way you were squeezing him was better than he remembered, keeping his focus on your own pleasure because if not, he’d probably cum within moments.
“oh my god,” you all but practically squealed when he moved your leg over his shoulder, feeling as if he was splitting you open; you bit down on your lip to try shut up the now constant sounds.
charles wasn’t having a bar of it however.
“ah, ah,” charles breathed; hand moving to tap your cheek. “wanna hear you gorgeous girl. every fucking sound,” charles told you; eyes pouring into yours which made it clear he wasn’t joking.
you nodded weakly, on cue charles delivering a harsher thrust that had you choking out a moan once more.
it didn’t take long, for you to get brought to the edge; stomach growing tight as your eyes rolled back once more. cumming without warning, unable to process the pleasure you were feeling.
a moment of weakness for charles, watching as you shook beneath him and screamed his name; squeezing him suddenly, he almost came too. he didn’t though thankfully, because his focus was still you.
you weren’t prepared for him to not relent, instead feeling his hand snake between your bodies and find your clit, eyes flying open.
“o-oh,” you gasped, the onslaught of pleasure hard to cope with as your hands gripped onto his back tightly, nails digging into his skin as he smirked down at you.
“take it baby,” charles grunted; eyebrows raising momentarily. “too much?” his question was teasing, and he couldn’t help the breathy chuckle when you shook your head; scared he’d stop. you didn’t want him to stop.
you weren’t sure you could take it, but you were going to try. you’d do anything for him when he was touching you like this.
“so good,” you moaned; tears welling in your eyes quickly from the overstimulation, body jolting with every thrust which hadn’t relented.
his stamina impressive, having not slowed down nor gotten sloppy as he pounded into you.
you were struggling to keep your eyes open now, lost in the pleasure. but charles wanted to watch you, and wanted you to watch him as you pushed you over the edge once more.
“look at me baby,” charles grunted; pinching your clit lightly which had your eyes flying open, meeting his. “gonna watch me as you cum again yeah?” charles told you, his own breaths heavier now as he struggled to not let himself revel in the feeling of you.
you nodded, again, like a broken record; all your effort focused on watching him as your face contorted in pleasure. maybe even a tear or two fell, the familiar feeling washing over you again suddenly as he delivered another harsh thrust. and another. and suddenly it was as if he found new energy somewhere.
you all but screamed his name as you came again suddenly, coming undone on his cock. he was close behind, unable to resist with the way your walls squeezed him again.
your heavy breaths filled the room as charles helped you both ride out your highs, before sliding out of you, he remained above you regardless.
he was looking at you in awe, hand pushing some of your hair away that had gotten stuck to your forehead, earning a lazy smile from you in return.
“i could get used to that,” your words broke the silence; eyes flickering to his lips which gave charles the hint to place a kiss on your lips, a delicate one unlike those shared earlier.
he’d chuckled at your words afterwards, humming in agreement as his hand ran up and down your side comfortingly.
“me too,” charles agreed with a grin; pressing yet another kiss to your lips, a longer one this time; passionate and slow. enjoying the moment. the peace of it all.
when you pulled away moments later, you practically beamed as you urged him off of you; moving to straddle him instead.
you had a lot of time to make up for.
━━━━━
a/n: oh she’s bACK BACK CHARLES FIC YAY
hope u liked, still rusty lol i don’t rlly like the smut but i did enjoy writing the angst hehe
unedited sorry i’ll get to that later like usual oOps
as always feedback is always greatly encouraged and appreciated, means the world to me so pls share ur thoughts 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼
luv u all !!!!!!!
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gguk-n · 15 days
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Stranger in the Sun (Lando Norris x Reader)
No face claim, the pictures are from Pinterest. Inspired by Lando's Bali trip
y/n.y/l/n
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Liked by landonorris, y/bff/user, y/sis/user and 145,236 others tagged y/bff/user
y/n.y/l/n Bali trip highlights: Met the cutest man ever. (Would love if anyone knew who he was)
y/sis/user You don't know who he is???? Can't believe you're my sister🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ y/n.y/l/n who is he??🤔🤔 y/bff/user best trip everrrrr ❤️❤️❤️ user5 I can recognise those curly hair anywhere landonorris user6 landonorris 🙏🙏 user7 OMG!! I wish I had met landonorris on my trip to anywhere tbh 🤧🤧 user8 how do people meet landonorris and I can't even meet him at a race I bought tickets for 😩😩 user9 landonorris user10 I agree with her landonorris is the cutest man I've ever seen ❤️❤️ y/n.y/l/n why is everyone tagging him? Is it the guy in the picture?😔😔 y/n.y/l/n Oh, I just saw who it is, I'll be seeing myself out🙃🙃 landonorris y/n.y/l/n no don't go😖😖
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y/n.y/l/n
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Liked by y/bff/user, y/sis/user and 27,980 others
y/n.y/l/n Found a little sunshine in my life☀️🧡
y/bff/user both of you make me sick🤢🤢 y/sis/user Mom says he's invited to the next family dinner😭😭 y/n.y/l/n y/sis/user can you text me this stuff instead of commenting it on my post👀 user2 Lando's soft launching his gf rn too👀 user3 their meeting is from the books🥲🥲 user4 the both of you are not slick🙄🙄
landonorris
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Liked by oscarpiastri, mclaren and 268,349 others
landonorris My favourite adventure partner ❤️❤️
carlossainz55 congratulations on finally getting a girlfriend mclaren🧡🧡 user5 that bali trip girl also got a boyfriend who looks an awful lot like Lando🥹🥹 user6 To have Lando Norris as your boyfriend😭😭 user7 did you win that plushy for her? 🥹🥹So romantic❤️😭 user8 the hand placements in first two pictures 😤🤤🤤
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landonorris
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Liked by y/n.y/l/n, mclaren, oscarpiastri and 1,208,830 others
landonorris Thanks a lot to the team and my girlfriend for a great weekend
y/n.y/l/n It was all you baby!! 😘😘😘Congratulations!! Liked by Author oscarpiastri Congrats mate👍 mclaren It was all you Lando🧡 user1 OMG!! They are adorable!!🥹🥹 user9 I think Lando dating isn't such a bad thing after all🤧🤧 user10 can y/n come to all the races if it means Lando will win??😭😭
y/n.y/l/n
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Liked by landonorris, y/bff/user and 243,920 others
y/n.y/l/n Got to watch my boyfriend win. Best weekend ever!!🥹🧡🧡
landonorris you're my lucky charm. Guess you'll have to stay by my side forever🥹 y/n.y/l/n landonorris you better mean what you say bc I'm not going anywhere😈😈 y/bff/user Love you bbg❤️❤️ y/sis/user Dad cried when he saw Lando won 😭😭Liked by landonorris y/n.y/l/n y/sis/user🤣🤣 user1 damn Lando, your girlfriend's hot🫣🫣
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honkytonk-hangman · 8 months
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All This Love
Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x Reader
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Summary: “Congratulations?” Rooster half-praises, half-questions, side-eying Jake, who stiffens just slightly, but finds himself relaxing when he looks back up at the grainy ultrasound. “Thanks,” he says, feeling his stomach flutter at the memory of the first time he saw it.
Warnings: not much in this one, unplanned pregnancy, some light smut, 18+ only!! <3
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Jake feels his pulse jump once, then twice as he walks through his front door. He’d already known you were here, not just because of your car parked out front, but because you’d barely left his company since he’d gotten the news. Still, the sound of you moving around his kitchen, and the smell of something heavenly wafting toward him makes his heart leap just a little in a way that is honestly unfamiliar to him.
Jake Hangman Seresin is not a ‘relationship’ guy. He hasn’t exactly been a one-night-stand guy either these past few years, but certainly he isn’t known for his commitment. Partly he could blame this on his schedule, his various and frequent deployments, moves and busyness, but he’d be lying if he didn’t admit that taking an endless string of women home was taking a toll on him.
Quietly, Jake hoped he’d meet someone, have a constant in his life to come home to, maybe have a few little mini-Jake’s running around too, but it also wasn’t really something he was actively seeking out. He knew being with him meant a lot of lonely nights, and he’d internalised the attitude that most women were not up for that.
And then he met you.
You’d laughed sweetly like you’d thought he was just kidding when he’d flirted with you, told him outright you’d expecting him to cancel on your first date, and then rambled about anything and everything for the next three hours as he happily listened.
You weren’t really his normal ‘type’, you weren’t overly affectionate with him off the bat, making your intentions known, you weren’t tall or bleached blonde or anything he was used to from the women who showed an interest in him, though that wasn’t to say he didn’t think you weren’t beautiful. You were a little awkward, and dorky and you’d told him you thought he was funny, which wasn’t really one of the things most of the women he dated tended to point out. Needless to say, Jake had quickly found it very easy, very natural to adore you.
He’d gotten three and a half months with you before his orders came in. 
The two of you had grown close in that time, but you hadn’t really addressed or discussed what you were. He hadn’t really felt the need, or the pressure like he had in the past. He’d realised over the past few days that this might’ve been down to the fact that he hadn’t even really considered any other options besides the two of you eventually becoming ‘exclusive’. If Jake is completely honest, he’s been off the market since our first date.
Not until the imminent date of his deployment had he begun to take note of his rising anxiety, the complete opposite to the way he usually felt after informing a casual fling that he’d be going. With them, he didn’t expect more, he didn’t want to give them more either, but with you… Jake hasn’t been able to stop thinking about how much he’ll be able to contact you while he’s gone, if you’ll make time for him, even if you’ll send him those care packages so many of the guys he knows often received while on the carrier…
The idea that you saw his upcoming deployment as the official end of whatever this is you have going on haunted him, and Jake was determined to make clear that when he returned in fourteen months time, he still wanted to see you.
He toes off his boots as best he can with the large bouquet in the crook of his elbow, before padding down the hall toward where the delicious smell is coming from, finding you buzzing around his kitchen in a manner that forces him to stop dead in his tracks to appreciate the sight.
This is what Jake has been wanting, but it's not until this very moment he realises just how much. It isn’t even about you cooking for him, no, he just craves the domesticity of coming home to somebody who looks up from what they’re doing with an expression like his arrival is the new best part of their day.
“Jake! I didn’t hear you come in!” you say with a smile and a laugh. That wasn’t exactly unusual for you. You didn’t often hear many things, considering you were hard of hearing. You weren’t completely deaf, in quiet rooms when he was facing you, you could hear him enough, helped by lip reading, or if he spoke directly into your ear. However, it was still significant enough that Jake had downloaded an ASL learning app, partly to communicate better with you, but also so that he could see your overjoyed surprise whenever he correctly signed something very simple to you.
“These are for you,” he steps closer, holding out the large bouquet of marigolds and roses he’d stopped for on the way home, making sure his mouth isn’t at all obscured by them as he does. He hadn’t skimped when he’d bought them, requesting the biggest package the florist offered and paying double what he’d ever paid before for flowers. It was worth it though, especially when once you’ve processed what he’s said, your face lights up all over again and you let out a soft little gasp as you move to meet him.
“They’re beautiful!” you croon as you bring the flowers to your nose. Jake had only ever bought flowers for his mother, and for a few girls around Valentine’s Day. They were always roses. He’d never bothered to ask what their preferred flower of choice was. With you, though, you had inadvertently told him on your first date while lost in a story about a failed garden you’d tried growing and how you adored copper marigolds and peach roses, but that no man had ever bought either for you, including your last boyfriend who’d seemed to think flowers were lame and unnecessary. He’d filed that information away, but curses himself for not using it any sooner as you smile widely back up at him, and push the flowers aside so that you can wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him sweetly.
“Thank you! You didn’t have to!” you say in between pecks to his lips, and Jake wraps the arm still holding the bouquet around your back, in the hopes that maybe you’ll stay pushed up against him just a little longer. You do, giggling softly as you continue to deliver soft little kisses to his lips, Jake dutifully returning each one, becoming aware of his own laughter joining your own as he does.
You pull away to grin up at him, and Jake drops one last, final kiss to your lips before giving you a slight squeeze, his own smile growing as you stare up at him.
“Baby, the smoke alarm is going off,” he informs you, chortling when you jump away from him in surprise, and quickly return to the stove to remove the pan from the hob. Jake follows you, placing your flowers down on the counter, and moving over to where the alarm sits high on his wall, reaching up to tap the button in the centre that switches it off.
“Sorry! The good news though is that dinner isn’t ruined!” you tell him happily, turning back around to go digging through one of his other cupboards. You straighten again when you find a large pitcher, and he watches you mill about for a moment, filling it with water before moving to place the bouquet of flowers inside. He feels his chest swell with pride as you primp and preen the roses and marigolds, and pictures you two weeks from now, with more and more petals falling from the flowers with every passing day, but refusing to throw them away because they make you think of him. The swelling of pride begins to turn into a swell of dread, and Jake really, really wishes he wasn’t leaving you in the morning.
You turn back to him and smile.
“Why don’t you go clean up, and I’ll finish this?” you suggest, and Jake immediately pouts.
“Why don’t I just stay here and help you plate up?” he says instead, making you frown playfully and shake your head.
“Jake, you need to shower!” you scold lightly.
“I showered on base,” he shrugs, and pushes away from his counter to capture your waist and draw you near again.
“Jake… just let me do this for you… you leave tomorrow…” it’s your turn to pout. Jake’s heart makes a good effort to leap out of his chest and into yours.
“Exactly. I leave tomorrow, so just let me stay with you as long as I can,” he poses, and you soften, resting your hands on his forearms.
“Jake…” you sigh, and bite your lip a little. “What’re you gonna do for the next fourteen months, huh?” you question playfully, shaking your head.
“Wish I was plating up dinner with you.” he answers immediately, then feels his cheeks heat up a little. Your gaze drops from his face, but you’re smiling softly, and rubbing your thumbs over his skin in a soothing manner.
“Okay,” you relent, before reaching up to cup his cheeks tenderly. “Okay.”
Jake leans into your touch, closing his eyes as he memorises the feeling of you holding him. You remain in pleasant quiet as the two of you go about preparing for dinner, Jake setting the table as you portion out the salad you’ve made.
Jake refrains from insisting you sit side by side as you eat, because he knows you’d struggle to hear him if you did, but after dinner, he does insist that the dishes can wait, convincing you to come up and shower with him instead.
You’ve barely stepped inside the glass cubicle when he’s pulling you closer, lips reaching out for yours and you giggle as you kiss him under the full stream of the shower head, laughing properly when he pulls back to spit a mouthful of water sideways out his mouth like a cartoon character. He grins at having made you laugh, but crowds you up against the wall almost instantly after, his smile pressed back against yours.
“M’gonna miss you.” he says right by your ear, before slipping his mouth down to your neck, and immediately sucking a small mark there. He knows your opinion on hickeys, so he’ll make sure the rest are somewhere you can hide them. You seem to squirm in his hold, your hands dropping from around his neck to press against his chest, his abdomen, though he knows you aren’t pushing him away, simply wishing to see his face.
“I’ll miss you, too.” you say after a moment, watching the water drop from his eyelashes, before you wrap your arms around him, pulling him near once again and pressing your chest up against his in a delightful manner.
“Promise you’ll come see me when I get shore leave?” He’s never asked this question before, and his heart immediately jumps into his throat. Usually he’d wait around for shore leave to go bar hopping, pick up a girl or two and show them a good time while he could. This time however, all Jake can think about is how best he can maximise all his spare moments for the next fourteen months to make sure they’re spent with you.
“I promise,” you say with another giggle, and it makes Jake pull back to look down at you. He’s not sure what he wants to say, if anything at all, but a beat passes where the two of you simply watch one another. Carefully your hand rises, skims along his cheek, but ultimately continues upwards where you smooth back some of the hair hanging down over his forehead.
“By my count we’ve got just under twelve hours,” you say then, and he can tell you’re trying not to sound so sad. It makes his stomach flop about.
“No time to waste, then, huh?” He leans in and murmurs against your lips.
Miraculously, you make it back to his bedroom somehow, shower water replaced with sweat now as you both work to make the most of the short time you have left together.
You let out a heavy breath of air as you adjust yourself once more, hands pressing against his taut abs, feeling the way the muscles move and tighten under your palms and fingers as you bounce in his lap. Your thighs are burning, but that's not going to be enough to stop you from chasing down another high. Jake’s hands at your hips take some of the initiative out of your control though, his grip firm and deliberate as he helps you move for him, forcing you up and damn-near slamming you back down again, his hips flexing in time to make sure he’s fucking you as deep as he can.
Your sounds of pleasure are muted against his lips, swallowed by him as he kisses you hungrily, one hand shooting up to clutch at the back of your neck when you briefly break apart. With one hand helping you move now, he begins tilting his hips more and more, his legs bent at the knee behind you, powering his thrusts and completely taking you apart. He lets you break away from his mouth, but doesn’t move the hand on your neck, and through half-shut eyes, you can see him watching you intently, his jaw clenched as he takes you in. He slows down.
“You look so pretty riding me,” Jake’s voice is deeper and more gravelly than normal, and his words are punctuated by tiny grunts of exertion that make you mewl. “Gonna miss the way you feel around me,” he goes on, using his hold on you to grind up into you with each slow thrust. You gasp when his hand on your thigh pulls a little, widening your legs around him and making you take him even more.
“Fuck! Jake…!” you cry out weakly, doing your best to keep your momentum, but with this new positioning, you barely have enough strength to lift yourself from him. Jake doesn't seem to mind, groaning in approval and suddenly sitting up, twisting your still connected hips to spin you beneath him now, his hand hiking your leg up over his shoulder as you go.
You gasp again, your own hands clutching his shoulders as he begins fucking you impossibly deep, picking up his pace again as he hovers above you, one hand now in the mattress beside your head.
“Take me so well, sweetheart,” he grunts out, closing the distance between you to press his lips back to yours. You chase him when he pulls away again, whining in disapproval, but his lips dont go too far, as he falls to his forearms and really begins to fuck you.
“Gotta give it to you so good you’ll be stuck on me, huh? Won’t think about anyone but me while I’m gone?” he goes on, and all you can do is nod.
“You gonna cum?” he asks a little more coherently, and you nod, because the way he’s driving into you nearly has you toppling over already. “Yeah? Go on, let me feel you, want you to cum around me, honey.”
His words alone are enough to push you off the edge, more so when you feel him join you, and you arch up into him, curl your hips against his own ragged thrusts, desperate to keep him from pulling out halfway through. He doesn’t seem to be planning to this time, and you mewl and moan in delight at the feeling of him filling you up, the feeling of him dripping out of you when he gives you a few last firm thrusts.
Jake pants above you, the hand by your head slipping down to caress your cheek as you both take a moment to come down. He kisses you, long and deep and nearly enough to get you going again. You wait patiently when he pads off to his bathroom to find you a cloth, and you barely notice yourself dozing off until you wake sometime later.
The bed is empty, though the bedside lamp has remained on, and you sit up properly, rubbing your eyes.
“Jake?” you call out, but you don't see him in the bedroom or bathroom. Frowning, you scoot out of his bed and grab one of his old squad shirts, slipping it on as you move out of his bedroom in search of him.
“Jake?” you call out again, trailing your hand along the wall as you step softly down the stairs to the first floor. It doesn’t help that you can’t hear him, but your worries are belayed the moment you turn around the corner and into the kitchen, and you’re greeted with his bare back as he stands at the sink. He’d pulled some sweatpants on, but they’re hanging low on his hips, enough for you to see the little dimples at the base of his back, and you itch you wrap your arms around him again.
You try to be as quiet as you can as you move up behind him, relishing in the small jump of surprise he does when you trail your hands over his skin and around his front, pressing your cheek between his shoulder blades. You feel him chuckle, feel the deep reverberations through his chest as he does, before he’s pulling you by one arm around to his front instead, where your face now rests against his chest instead.
“I thought you’d fallen asleep.” he tells you, leaning down to absently press a kiss to your hair. You shrug, but peek over your shoulder to watch as he continues to wash dishes, moving with him when he has to move, loving the way he briefly wraps you up whenever he does so, as if he’s worried his twisting might scare you off.
“What are you doing?” you ask dumbly, even as he scrubs down the pan you’d used to cook dinner.
“I didn’t want you to have to wake up tomorrow and do the dishes.” He tells you quietly, like he was worried about admitting this to you, like it was something he should feel guilty about. You coo, and squeeze him a little tighter, just as another thought occurs to you. You’d meant to talk to him about it when he got home from work, but with all the messing around that had happened, you’d totally forgotten.
“Do you want me to drive you in tomorrow?” you ask, feeling the way he pauses. You look up at him after he stays quiet for another beat, and find him staring down at you oddly. Your eyes meeting seems to break him out of his reverie though, and he blinks rapidly a few times.
“You don’t mind? It’s an early start…” he tells you, trying to warn you off, but you see right through him. You can tell it means something to him, though you don’t know what, and a part of you wonders if he’d ever had a girlfriend drive him to base for a deployment before.
“I’m not going to see you for fourteen months, Jake, of course I don’t mind.” you say as if it's obvious. You watch him purse his lips, but smile softly.
“I’d like that.” he says at last, moving one arm to wrap around you permanently now, continuing his task one handed until you extract yourself from him to grab a drying cloth. He makes a sound you only feel briefly, but you shoot him an amused shake of your head and remind him that the faster the chore is done, the faster the two of you can go back to bed. He stops his complaining then, and when the sink is empty and the dishes all stacked away, he picks you up and carries you all the way upstairs again with your legs wrapped around his waist, keeping them there until you both fall asleep again.
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Jake can’t stop looking back over his shoulder at you as he stands with the rest of Dagger, getting ready to board. You’re right by the front of the crowd of family that has gathered to say goodbye, which doesn’t make it any easier. If you’d disappeared amongst the people, he could fool himself into thinking you weren’t there, but as it is, he can see you clearly, and it’s eating him up.
Even Rooster can tell, watching and following his gaze every time Jake longingly glances back at you, his brown eyes trailing to the beautiful girl in the front of the crowd, occasionally conversing with the people around her, but mostly just eying the group of aviators with a sad little smile.
“You should say goodbye.” Rooster tells him quietly, eyeing up the officers ahead of them and correctly guessing that they would be about to board. Jake swallows, and pushes his sunglasses up his nose.
“We’ve already said goodbye.” He doesn’t mean to sound so snappy or cold, but he really didn’t want to think about leaving you anymore than necessary. Beside him, Rooster shuffles and shrugs.
“Say goodbye again.”
Jake stays quiet for a moment, before he turns to look at his wingman, and then at the line ahead. Quickly shifting his bag and stuffing it into the other man’s hands, Rooster only nods at him before Jake’s body is moving, easily pushing past the junior officers who step out of his way quickly. He barely takes note of the saultes he receives, because his eyes are set only on you, the way you watch him with a frown, but even as he gets right up to you, and you open your mouth to speak, he keeps moving, cupping your jaw and pressing a series of kisses against your lips.
When he pulls back you frown is gone, replaced with a lightness he hasn't seen since before he’d told you he’d be leaving.
“Will you wait for me?” he asks breathlessly, aware now that the carrier had begun boarding, and he needed to get back.
“What?” you ask with a slight laugh. Jake only leans in to kiss you again, and from somewhere behind him, he can hear a few servicemen whistle. You’re still giggling when he pulls back, but he digs into his uniform pockets and brings out his keys, pressing them into your hands.
“Wait for me.” he says again, waiting until you nod your assent before looking away from you. Through the crowd, he can hear someone, Rooster calling him, an edge of warning in his voice.
“I’ve got to go.” he tells you dumbly, and kisses you again.
“I know. Go! I’ll be here when you get back!” you assure him with a laugh, kissing him back but pushing him away at the same time. Jake grins upon hearing the words, and steps in to kiss you again, before finally dragging his body forcefully away from yours, and back to his team.
Phoenix is giving him a funny look that he ignores as he takes his bag back from Rooster with a silent nod of thanks. He receives a pat on the shoulder from the other man, who looks down his sunglasses at him thoughtfully. Jake sees his eyes trail off and he knows Rooster is looking at you again. He pats Jake’s shoulder once more, his lips tipping up teasingly.
“She’s cute,” Rooster tells him. Jake eyes him as he replaces his sunglasses.
“Yeah,” he says. “She is.”
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“Hey babygirl, it’s good to see you,” Jake can’t help his wide grin even as he stares at your somewhat blank, reserved expression. Something in his chest wobbles as you eventually give him a weak smile, and he nervously adjusts his camera.
“Hi, Jake.” You say. It only makes his stomach wobble too.
“Is the software working okay? I have captions?” he asks, double checking the program on his end to make sure for the fourth time that everyone is tip top. You nod.
“Yeah, yeah, everything is working fine. I even put my hearing aids in… I’ve missed your voice,” you tell him.
Your words go a small way to alleviate his anxiety, but it’s been four months since he’s communicated with you via more than just email, and he can’t help but listen to the voices in his head from long before he met you, telling him that you don’t want to wait for him any longer.
“I’m honoured, you hate wearing those,” he says with a stiff laugh. You smile a little wider, but don’t seem to relax.
“Too much noise,” you agree. A quiet beat passes between you and Jake steels himself for what he knows is to come. You both speak at exactly the same time.
“Listen, baby, I’m really sorry I haven’t been able to do this sooner, but–”
“–I’m pregnant.”
Jake freezes, and so do you.
“Oh, thank god,” he hears himself say outloud, his entire body sagging as the weight of what he’d thought you were about to say leaves his body entirely.
“That’s… that’s not what I was expecting…” all stress seems to have left your body too, and for the first time since your call connected, you too appear to be completely at ease. “I thought you were going to break up with me…” you tell him, making Jake start.
“I thought you were going to break up with me!” Jake exclaims, before quickly quientening his voice. “Christ you scared me,” he tells you, letting out a sigh of relief.
Your face is a mixture of amusement and bashfulness.
“You’re more scared of me breaking up with you, than me being pregnant?” you ask, and Jake finds himself nodding immediately.
“I wouldn’t say scared, per se…”
“Your own words, Jake,” you remind him, and he chuckles, but shrugs. You both pause for a moment as you take in the wealth of new information and relationship security you now bask in. Jake jumps then, and leans in closer to his screen.
“How far along are you?” he asks, unsure of what really to ask in this situation, it’s honestly not one he’d ever been in before, but he’s proud to discover his mind immediately has calibrated for it.
“I’m going to the doctor in the morning, but I’m guessing around four months,” you tell him with a slightly wry smile. Jake laughs.
“I should hope so,” Jake chortles, before turning serious again when he sees you only laugh weakly.
“How are you feeling, baby?” he asks, then quickly, for your sake, adds; “For the record, I want whatever you want, I just want it with you.”
Your face travels through several emotions, but you at last give him a watery little smile.
“I really thought you’d break up with me, I haven’t even thought about anything else,” you admit, and Jake feels something else in his chest wobble.
“Honey, unless you’re planning on breaking my heart right now, I’m not breaking up with you any time soon… or ever, if I’m honest… I’m sorry that’s not been clearer…” he tells you, feeling a slight lump in his throat at the very thought.
You were it for him, he thinks, he can’t imagine not coming home to you. He’d even considered throwing his medical on purpose the other day, just so he could wait for your email he knew was likely to come. Jake has never even considered that before, not even for family. A knock on the door makes his face fall, and he turns to glare at the ensign who pokes their head in.
“Liuetenant Seresin, sir, Captain Mitchell requires you on deck.”
Jake sighs, but nods grimly.
“Tell him I’ll be there in a moment.”
“Sir!”
Jake looks back at you, already smiling sadly.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart, I need to go,” he says tiredly. He’d wished he got more time to talk with you, but especially about this.
“It’s okay Jake, we’ll be fine,” you tell him. Jake can’t stop the quirk of his lips as he stares at you.
“‘We’ huh?” he asks teasingly, feeling something like excitement, or perhaps pure, sheer joy race through his veins. You cock your head but your arm moves, he can’t see where exactly, but he suspects your hand now rests against your belly.
“Yeah. We.”
Jake swallows thickly, and nods, unable to fight the smile that pulls at his lips.
“Okay, baby, okay,” he hears another knocking on his door and huffs. “Send me everything you can, I don’t know when I’ll get to call you again, okay? Send me everything.”
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Jake walks quietly alongside Dagger as they return to their ready room, listening to them discussing possible ‘new’ hand signs for each other to signal readiness for the manuevour they’d been working on not even twenty minutes ago, prior to landing. He checks back into the conversation long enough to watch the proposed sign that Payback suggests, and immediately begins shaking his head.
“That’s ‘math’ in sign language,” Jake tells him, earning a look from Phoenix.
“Since when do you know ASL?” she asks, not fully sounding accusatory, but certainly not shying away from that tone either. Jake looks up at her and opens his mouth, but it’s Bob who gets there before him.
“He’s been practising with me,” Bob informs her, making Phoenix only more curious. She turns back to Jake expectantly. Jake shifts on his feet as the group comes to a halt, clearly also wanting to know what this is about, and for a brief moment, he considers telling them to mind their damn business.
That thought passes though, his spite warmed into a quiet kind of glee at the mere thought of you, his chest tingling slightly under the picture he has tucked into his flight suit.
“My girlfriend is deaf,” he says at last with a small shrug. Phoenix stays eying him for a second, even more curiosity filling her gaze, but after a moment she relents. He knows she’ll have questions later, but for now seems to be content not to make him answer them in front of everyone.
“Huh.” she says, and with that the squad continues moving.
Eventually, Phoenix and Halo peel off to the women’s locker rooms, the boys moving on to theirs, Payback, Coyote, Fanboy and Bob making straight for the showers. Jake can’t shower yet, though, he has precious cargo to return to safety, so moves straight for his locker, peeling it and carefully removing the photograph from his breast. Using the wad of blu-tac he’d acquired a few weeks back, he gingerly sticks the image backup in its home when he’s not flying, making sure not to get any fingerprints on it as he does.
“That was a good exercise,” Rooster’s voice makes Jake almost jump out of his skin, and he turns to look over his shoulder, quickly shooting the other man a nod.
“Yeah,” he replies simply, his lips thinning into a line as Rooster steps closer, opening his own locker but inevitably glancing over at Jake’s in the process. Jake tenses up as he feels Bradshaw pause, but after only a few agonising seconds, Rooster is moving again.
“Congratulations?” Rooster half-praises, half-questions, side-eying Jake, who stiffens just slightly, but finds himself relaxing when he looks back up at the grainy ultrasound.
“Thanks,” he says, feeling his stomach flutter at the memory of the first time he saw it.
Jake reaches up and rapps the ultrasound fondly.
“Twenty-three weeks. She’s supposed to be the size of a peach, but hell if I know what I’m looking at,” Jake shrugs and rolls his eyes, even letting loose a small smile when Rooster leans over to get a closer look. After a moment he too pulls a face and they meet eyes.
“Yeah, looks like topography to me,” Rooster shrugs as well. Jake looks back to the scan thoughtfully.
“Oh. Yeah. There’s a mountain range…. Small valley…” Jake trails off as the showers seem to shut off in near-unisen. 
He quickly shoots Rooster a steely-eyed stare, which thankfully the other man seems to understand the meaning of, because all too soon their conversation comes to an end and Jake shuts his locker door protectively.
Their veil of secrecy is shattered however, when Javy, dressed in only his towel, waltzes right up to Jake, opens his locker door again, places a kiss to the ultrasound, then carries right on as Jake quickly closes it behind him. Rooster shoots him a look, and before the others can make an appearance, Jake explains himself.
“Only Javy knows,” he grinds out, but can’t find himself too annoyed. Javy had immediately taken to his Uncle role, sending little gift packages to Jake's house for you to discover.
The ‘My Uncle Is Single’ onesie was particularly cute.
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Jake doesn’t even really have to push his way to the front of the line at the docks. Not only had Dagger made a path for him, but they were actively hauling at the collars of younger sailors, and from behind him he can hear various calls of ‘make way!’ and when one sailor protests a little too loudly, Phoenix saying ‘Hangman’s about to meet his kid for the first time, do you really want to get in the way of that?’. He makes a note to thank them later, but then he sees you, and he sees his baby, and all thoughts fly out of his brain.
He rushes up to you, gathering you both in one tight hug before you even seem to realise it’s him. But then he hears you laughing waterly, and he pulls his face back enough to plant a long, passionate kiss to your lips.
“Hey baby, hi!” he gushes cupping your cheek in his hand, before quickly extracting himself only a little, and focusing his attention on the bundle of excited squeals in your arms.
“Hi Princess, c’mere, I’ve been waiting so long to meet you!” Jake continues to talk before you can even get a word in edgewise. You laugh again, and shift the baby on your hip enough and Jake steps in again quickly relieving you of the weight. His daughter is immediately enraptured by the pins and shinies on his uniform, and she babbles talkatively up at him. Jake had shared his worries with you that she wouldn’t know him, recognise him, but all that is quickly abated when she stuffs a fist in her mouth and all but collapses against his chest.
His whole body fills with a warmth like he’s never known and he looks over at you.
“I think it’s too loud for her,” you say with a laugh, cuddling in closer to the other side of his chest. Jake looks between the two of you lovingly, adjusting his girl so he can show off some of the ASL he’d managed to learn in the last fourteen months.
Sorry, he signs carefully. Just – little – longer. Team – want – meet – you – both.
Your face lights up in recognition and your eyes get a little mistier. So – good – now! You sign back slowly for him, just as he feels several presences come to an anxious stop behind him.
“Bob helped,” he says, getsuring over at Bob, who steps forward with a short little wave.
“It’s nice to finally meet you, Ma’am,” he tells you, before his eyes shift to the baby in Jake’s arms. He tips his hat again at the girl who, as Jake turns, seems to be quietly inspecting the newcomers, drooling all over her tiny little hand. Bob does another little wave, more goofy this time, and she giggles, but turns her face inward briefly to Jake’s chest even more.
Jake uses his free arm to pull you in a little, and nods at his team.
“Baby, this is Dagger, that’s Bob,” he briefly pauses to show you Bob’s sign name, before he goes on to point out the others. “Phoenix, Rooster, Fanboy, Payback, and this is–” he gets cut off as Javy pushes his way to the front of the crowd.
“Uncle Javy!” he announces, balling you up in a tight hug. You laugh and nod.
“Thank you for all the gifts for her! She loves them!” you tell him, which only makes him smile wider, and puff his chest out some as he rounds on Jake and his daughter.
“Can I hold her now?” he asks, with his arms already out. Jake’s features drop into a friendly glare.
“No.” he says firmly, tugging the baby closer. He’s rewarded when she begins to fuss a little at all the new attention, and Jake quickly begins shushing and cooing at her, only for her to relax and fall quiet, her tiny fists now clutching desperately into his jacket.
“That’s right baby, daddy’s not gonna let Uncle Javy take you away from him.” He runs his hand comfortingly up and down her little back, snuggling her closer.
Javy rolls his eyes, but relents, pointing at Jake and you.
“Ya’ll got one week, then I’m crashing,” he tells you. Jake shakes his head, but you nod, looking up at him. You sign ‘babysitter?’ at him, then getsure at Dagger in general, and after he puts two and two together, he’s shaking his head.
“No. No way,” he says. You nod again and gesture back to the group.
“No,” he says.
“Yes.” you reply, Bob nodding quickly along with you. Jake rolls his eyes up at the sky, then back down at you. He looks over at where Rooster, Phoenix, Fanboy and Payback have all started cooing and making faces at his girl, making her giggle and kick her feet, and lets out a sigh.
“Fine. Maybe.”
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ikeuverse · 8 months
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NEW BEGINNINGS — l.heeseung
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PAIRING: dad!heeseung x fem!reader  GENRES: fluff, humor, a pinch of angst  WC: 8.7k+
WARNINGS: mention of unwanted pregnancy, turbulent relationship, drinking, some swearing. let me know if i've forgotten anything too.
SYNOPSIS: flirting with your brother's brother-in-law wasn't in your plans after returning from studying abroad. it wasn't something you were going to stop either since heeseung was the epitome of beauty. but when there's another woman's name in the story. what happens? you don't want to be caught between a betrayal… or so you thought.
NOTES: i think this turned out a lot cuter than i intended. initially it was going to be very short, but i wanted to add a bit of plot and maybe add a one chapter or two to it to give more attention to yn with the little one and the development of her relationship with heeseung. i hope you like it!
part 2 | masterlist
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Studying abroad for your university degree was a dream. Spending two years in Barcelona seemed like such a distant dream, but in the blink of an eye, you were already on Spanish soil. And as if that were fast enough, those years passed so quickly that before you knew it, you were back in the apartment you shared with your younger brother.
Sighing, you threw yourself on the sofa and let the tiredness of the trip take over. Smelling the familiar scent of Jay's cologne that hadn't completely disappeared.
Being back was incredible. Now, finally, you could work in your field and be close to your family too. It hadn't been that long, but you still felt sad not just because you missed them, but because you had missed important moments with each of your family members.
Like, for example, when your parents bought their dream house. Lots of rooms to welcome their children and anyone else who wanted to sleep over. A backyard so big that it had room for your father's gardening, a swimming pool, and a small hut where your mother made a studio for whatever artistic thing she was obsessed with at the moment.
You also missed out when Jay started dating her in his final year at university. The girl was simply incredible and you got to know her over a video call, but it still wasn't the same. It was different from his older sister's attitude – even if it was a year apart – where his girlfriend would come over to your parent's house, you'd make a huge fuss and a fake scene of jealousy.
Not that you weren't jealous of Jay, but Heejin was so sweet and loving that all you could do was sigh and smile at her as she introduced herself on her cell phone screen and told you that she was looking forward to meeting you in person.
And Heejin threw such a big party as soon as you arrived. She was in charge of making the snacks and taking them to your mother's house, telling you so much about her that you were dizzy, smiling from ear to ear at the girl's excitement. Jay watched in the background, laughing now and then when you looked at him, silently congratulating you on having found someone as nice as her.
"Do you like chicken? I learned how to make this chicken paste last week and Jay loved it, I think you'll like it too" she said shyly, handing over one of the snacks she'd brought.
And she got it right. You loved it so much that you even asked Heejin to make it the next time you two met. Which never took long because she was always at her apartment with Jay or her parents' house.
It seemed that as well as being a sister-in-law, you had found a very good friend.
"I'm home" Jay announced loudly as soon as he walked through the living room door, making you abandon your thoughts completely as you jumped onto the sofa "Did I scare you?" he laughed as he looked at you, messing up your hair before walking past you and straight into the kitchen.
You stood up, walked over to where he was, and leaned against the doorframe to watch your brother get a bottle of water from the fridge.
"So" Jay turned to you, his breathing a little labored and you noticed that he was completely sweaty "I came running because it's going to rain, don't think nonsense" he warned you, noticing that your expression began to change as soon as you saw his state.
Your laughter filled the kitchen along with Jay's, and he walked over to the worktop and sat down on it.
"I didn't think anything" you held up your hands to defend yourself, biting your lower lip to hold back another laugh "I got home from mom's a while ago, I was lying there thinking about so many things."
"About what, for example?" Jay came around the counter and sat on the stool behind you. This forced you to get down and turn around to face him, watching your brother still enjoying his cold bottle of water.
"About how, even though I love Barcelona, I've missed out on a lot with you all here."
"Come on, y/n. We've already had this conversation" Jay warned.
And it was true. He knew how much you wanted to complete your fashion course abroad, but at the same time, you didn't want to leave your parents. Jay chose to stay, earning well-deserved recognition at the gastronomy school in the city itself while supporting you every second.
"I know, but I can't get this weight off of me" you pursed your lips, forming a pout that he grimaced at.
"How about we go out so you can forget about it?" Jay proposed, seeing you try to hide a smile as he leaned over the counter and took your hand "Come on, I still have some friends you know who are dying to meet you again."
"Who, for example?" you asked.
Jay seemed to think for a moment, remembering all the people from his college that you knew. Even though you only studied with Jay for a short time, it wasn't enough to get to know all his friends or maintain a lasting friendship with them. Since your brother was well known, you were afraid that he would approach you just to get to him.
"Sailor will be there" Jay shrugged, knowing that she was the first girl you'd made friends with on the design course, "and that insufferable Jake."
"Oh, my little brother will be there?" you smiled dreamily, seeing Jay roll his eyes.
"Little brother? That son of a bitch is just my childhood best friend, not your little brother, y/n."
You laughed so loudly that you saw Jay shrug his shoulders as he did so. Going around the counter, you hugged your brother and laid your head on his shoulder, sighing a little lighter after talking to Jay. It always calmed you down.
"I'm going to love hanging out with them, and especially with you."
Jay kissed the top of your head and you could feel him smile with his lips up there after he returned your embrace. His fingers were cold from the bottle he was holding, now gripping your body as he got up from the bench to stand next to you.
"So get ready, because we have this program every Friday. And you're part of it from now on" he said, pulling away from you and telling you that he was going to take a shower because it was too sticky.
You just agreed, thinking of preparing something to eat with your brother after he got out of the shower. And you started to get a little more excited until Friday arrived to meet up with some friends again, and finally go out with your brother after so long.
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"Why do you spray so much perfume?" you almost shouted from your room as Jay passed you in the hallway of the apartment, stopping walking and heading straight for your door.
"I sprayed it a couple of times" he said "Okay, four" he corrected after noticing your serious countenance looking at him "I get nervous every time I go to meet Heejin, so…"
"That's cute" your lip formed into a pout, beckoning him into your room while you finished getting ready "But I don't think she'll care how smelly you are or not. Considering we're going to a nightclub."
"You're right" Jay tried to relax, throwing himself onto your bed in a lazy way. "It's just that I never stop thinking about how much I can impress her since we started dating, you know? It's so different."
"How different?"
Having these conversations with Jay was something you loved, mainly because it felt like he was older and not you. So listening to him ramble on about something or even vent about anything made the two of you feel even closer to each other.
Hearing how in love your brother was made you so happy and smiley, even more so because every time he mentioned Heejin, or even you said her name or said you were talking to her, Jay sighed. A complete fool in love, you joked.
He never denied it because he really was. And it was clear every time you saw the two of them together since you arrived. Holding hands, caresses and hugs, declarations and compliments. Something so loving that there wasn't even room to tease your brother about how sweet he was being.
"We can go now" you said after a while when Jay again told you how he felt about Heejin. And how he was afraid of losing her.
Your role as older sister was to make sure that your younger brother was doing a great job and that he was an amazing guy. Not to mention that the two of them got along very well and had your approval, so that was enough.
Jay left that apartment so happy that he was smiling to the parking lot, then with you to the club to meet the rest of his friends. He didn't even notice the smile, only when he arrived and felt his jaw aching after talking to you so much.
"Hold my hand so you don't get lost until we find the guys, okay?" you just agreed as you headed for the entrance to the club and Jay gave you the names for access.
Entering the venue, you and your brother had to dodge a few – a lot – of people dancing back and forth, others trying to make conversation with both you and him, but backing away when they saw you holding hands. You caught a scream in your throat and then laughed along with him, people probably thought you and Jay were a couple because you were holding hands. Ew.
"Finally!" the voice shouted from ahead and you looked over Jay's shoulder.
With his free hand, your brother nodded and then continued to approach until you were close enough to let go of your hand.
"I thought you weren't coming" Jake ruffled Jay's hair as he approached the group, hearing the boy's curses before turning his eyes to you "Little sister!"
"Little brother!" you replied with the same excitement, only for both of you to tease Jay, who was cursing at both of you. Jake was quick to run towards you and hug you.
"Don't ever travel that long again, I've missed you so much" he whispered while still hugging you.
"I promise I'll take you with me next time" his smile widened so much that you swore his cheeks were sore from smiling so much.
Saying hello to Sailor, your only friend from university, was something you were looking forward to. She had been one of the only people at the beginning of your school year before you moved to another country, who came to talk to you without any interest in your brother. Sailor was so nice, communicative, and giggly. The two of you got on so well that even when you moved to Barcelona, contact wasn't lost. Your happiness was undeniable when Jay told you that she was still in the group of friends, now as Jake's girlfriend.
Sunghoon was another friend of the boys that you got to know as well, arriving close to high school where he was drafted onto the soccer team that Jay and Jake played on. Of course, the three of them would become friends. He introduced you to his girlfriend. Joan, it wasn't someone you knew, but she seemed nice because she complimented you a lot and even asked how you were able to put up with a bunch of boys without slapping any of them.
Maybe I slapped you here or there, but I swear I could have done more. Joan's laugh was cute, and Sunghoon's small eyes when he smiled as he listened indicated that this man had been completely snared.
"Hi, y/n. I'm so glad you came" Heejin, your sister-in-law. So beautiful, with a comforting hug and very caring. You remember that, ever since you arrived, she asked Jay if you were all right every day.
"I guess you'll all have to get used to someone else in the group" you told her as you hugged her, tightening your arms around Heejin. She kissed your cheek and then pulled away from your face a little.
"Oh, this is going to be amazing. This way my brother won't feel so lonely" she whispered because she was too close to your face, so her voice wouldn't be hard to hear. You frowned at that, what do you mean her brother?
You hadn't paid attention to the people around you unless they came to greet you. Or you hadn't taken the time to notice who was with your group until your eyes shifted from Heejin's face to focus on the male figure next to the three boys.
Of course, you'd heard about Heejin's brother and even seen some pictures of him with Jay on social media. But you were so focused on your studies or even on finding out how your brother was doing that you didn't even have the luxury – or the time – to go and find out who Jay's new friends were, apart from the ones you already knew.
Heejin gradually moved away from you and, at the same moment, the only boy who hadn't said hello was waving to the boys and heading towards you and your sister-in-law. He couldn't take his eyes off you and you couldn't take your eyes off him, it was as if neither of you wanted to miss each other's next move.
"Hi" what a voice that is, my God. You wanted to shout to yourself "I'm Heeseung."
Heeseung, of course. The name wasn't strange. Considering how many stories Jay posted with Heeseung, who was always at parties with your brother.
"Hi, I'm y/n" even if he knew her name, it wouldn't hurt to introduce yourself, right?
By now Heejin had already stepped aside and let you talk to Heeseung, but you hadn't even bothered.
"Now I have someone to keep me company," Heeseung smiled and you swore you let out a loud sigh, but because of the volume of the music he hadn't heard. Good!
"Why? Are they that bad?" you asked Heeseung.
He leaned a little towards you, his hands in the front pockets of his jeans as he shrugged in the process. Heeseung's breath smelled of strawberries, so maybe he'd had a drink before you arrived.
"Wait until everyone's drunk" he whispered, "You can bet on which couple gets the hottest out of all of them."
"Can we bet money? Me and you?" your eyes lit up at the word bet, looking like a child who had just heard the most magnificent thing in the world.
Heeseung wanted to ignore the way he was smiling so much, feeling his heart skip a beat with your smile and your gaze so close to him. Even though he had leaned towards you just to talk. He wanted to think so, after all, you were all out clubbing, and if he wanted to have a conversation with you, he'd have to get closer.
And because you were so beautiful and smelled so good, he was simply attracted.
"I didn't bring that much money today" Heeseung pursed his lips "But we can bet drinks at the bar, what do you say?"
"Will you buy me one?"
"Now? Of course" of course, he had to stop this "I need to show you the best drink in this place before you get hooked."
"Do the honors, then" you smiled back at him, almost shouting when Heeseung's hand gently touched your back. Even though no skin was exposed because your shirt covered most of it, his fingers seemed to have shocked the spot.
Heeseung felt a warmth emanating from his fingertips and wondered if he had overstepped any boundaries since he had touched – even on your back – without your permission. But as soon as you started walking, being guided by him, the boy saw no problem in following you with his hand still touching you.
"Hey, Mingi" Heeseung waved to the bartender as soon as you and he arrived at the bar. From the intimacy, the place seemed to be frequented quite often by him and your brother's friends. The man behind the bar waved cheerfully.
"The usual?"
"Actually, I'll have a Rum Punch" Heeseung's slurred accent almost made you sigh again, but you held back only because he held your gaze even though he was talking to the bartender in front of you "For this young lady here."
"Oh, new here?" Mingi began to prepare the drink, showing off his skills with the utensils and how to stir that metal glass that you didn't even know didn't spill a drop.
"I've been away for two years" your voice came out a little louder than you would have liked, but Mingi smiled and shook his head "I'm Jay's sister."
"No kidding!" he seemed shocked by the information and you almost asked if it was bad to be Jay's sister or something "Jongseong, that ugly guy, has such a beautiful sister?"
Shit, your cheeks started to heat up. But you couldn't tell if it was because of Mingi's compliment or because Heeseung's hand slid from your back to your waist. He was still touching you, and it didn't seem to bother him or you.
"Here, Miss Park" he smiled after placing the glass on the counter, "enjoy the best of our bar."
You thanked him and took the glass, turning to face Heeseung.
"I hope you like it because, honestly, it would suck to say this is the best drink and have you hate it" he pressed his lips together, looking a little apprehensive about your reaction. You laughed at how cute he looked, agreeing with a little nod.
Touching your lips to the glass, you took a small sip just to test it out. As Heeseung said, it would be a shame for you to hate something that he advertised so much. But no, you loved it! And your murmur of approval only made his smile grow even wider, so you took another long sip before offering it to him.
"Come on, have some since you introduced me to it" you smiled at him as you tilted the glass for Heeseung to take. But he seemed too busy still holding your waist, with both hands this time. One on either side of you, making you want to scream and at the same time take a step forward and stand so close to him.
That drink wasn't taking effect that quickly, but it was Heeseung's fingers on your body that were making you like this.
So you held your breath a little when he leaned over, touching his lips to the glass and looking at you. A silent request for you to turn the contents just right because he wanted to drink from your hand. Heeseung wanted you to give him the drink.
And you did.
You carefully turned that glass until he had a good sip and then turned away to wipe his lips with the tip of his tongue and moan in satisfaction at the liquid going down his throat.
"Like I said, y/n" he said, his eyes wandering around the club and then finding you again. Heeseung leaned close enough so that his face was close to yours – for the second time that night – and his gaze quickly fell to your mouth "This is the best drink in the bar, and the night is going to be so long that we can try as many as you want" why had he whispered that part? Why was Heeseung whispering while staring at your lips?
You just nodded, sipping some more of that good, newfound liquid, as you felt him pull you into the middle of the dance floor.
The boy was right, it was going to be a long night.
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You didn't know that your sister-in-law was a graduate in the same field as you at university in Barcelona. You also didn't know that you would receive an offer from the studio where she worked and, a few days later, be hired.
You also didn't know that your relationship with Heeseung had become pure flirtation, smiles in each other's direction and gentle touches on the hands, waist, and even long hugs when he went to pick up Heejin and ended up giving you a lift too. Or when he went to visit Jay to play video games in his living room. You also didn't know that you would let Heeseung lean his head on your shoulder and fall asleep so deeply on the first night of movies in your shared apartment with your brother after Sunghoon said he didn't want to go clubbing that day.
Everything was going so differently from what you had envisioned for your return to the city, but no way could describe the way you felt with Heeseung. Because it was different, wasn't it? You felt that way.
Because you didn't feel a chill in your stomach when Jake laid his head on your lap after coming home from work, or you didn't feel your face heat up after Sunghoon kissed the top of your head when you all decided to meet up for dinner. So why did you feel those things with Heeseung? He also lay on your lap, he also kissed the top of your head. But only he was able to take away your sleep some nights, resulting in you being almost late for work and hearing Heejin ask if everything was okay.
"Jongseong was playing late again?" she asked angrily, making you laugh.
Thinking about your brother, you wanted to answer but settled for pressing your lips together to avoid smiling.
"I've just had a bad night" your lips quickly curled into a pout and she imitated you.
"I know someone who can help you with that" Heejin hummed, picking up her cell phone and typing a few things as she watched you go to your desk.
Trying to stop her from talking to Heeseung was practically impossible, as she and Jay did a great job of making you feel awkward in front of him. But not in a bad way, not at all. The two of them only managed to make you shyer and shyer every time something happened.
Do you need help with the popcorn in the kitchen? Heeseung, help y/n. I'm watching the movie with your sister.
Are you going out for dinner? Heeseung and y/n sit next to each other, their seats already assigned.
When you all decided to go to the amusement park together and he wasn't too keen on entering the castle of horrors? My sister will hold your hand and, if the fear goes away, you can kiss her as a reward. Jay's sentence could have been a whisper only to him and Heeseung, but because you were so close, it was sure to have been heard.
"Y/n, I… I'm sorry—" you took his hand, entwining your fingers in Heeseung's as you smiled at the boy.
"You heard my brother, right?" now Heeseung felt even more courageous with your words. So he could kiss you after everyone had passed through that castle of horrors? Surely he wouldn't miss it.
But he did.
As soon as you all left, Heeseung received a call that he urgently needed to go home. You didn't object and the others seemed to understand perfectly when the boy said goodbye, you being the only one who received a quick kiss on the cheek before he ran out of the park.
"I wonder what happened?" Sailor asked as you all started walking to the park's next attraction.
"Maybe it's because of Aimi, he said he'd be alert in case he needed to go home" Jake intertwined his fingers with Sailor's and walked beside her.
Just then, you stopped. Wait, Aimi? Heeseung had someone else? No, it couldn't be.
All that time you two were exchanging, you were being part of a betrayal? Holy shit. It couldn't be possible.
The whole situation put a lump in your throat and your stomach began to churn. You walked with your friends out of sheer habit, seeing that they were all in the queue for the rollercoaster. By instinct, Jay looked in your direction and saw how scattered you were, walking over to stand next to you.
"It's just a rollercoaster, you know? You don't have to be scared" he joked, laughing a little as he put his arm around your shoulders.
Trying to be gentle, you pushed his arm away, starting to feel a weight on your chest that you didn't even know existed.
"I… I'm going home" your voice came out shaky. Shit, don't do that, y/n!
"What? Y/n, is everything all right?" Jay looked at you now rather worriedly, holding you by the shoulders and, once again, feeling your hands drop as you walked away.
Your brain didn't process the fact that your legs were quickly pulling you out of there, walking away from the roller coaster queue while you listened to the boys calling you. You ignored it completely and walked to the parking lot where you tried to look for your brother's car since Heeseung had left and you had gone with him to the park.
"Shit. Shit, shit, shit" the curses were starting to flood out of you as your eyes stung, but you weren't going to cry. Not because of that.
For God's sake, the two of you hadn't even kissed, why feel so stupid?
"Y/n, I found you!" Jay was panting behind you, having stopped running and feeling his heartbeat speed up even more from the little exercise he'd done to find you.
He then walked towards you very slowly, trying to catch his breath and testing whether he could do it since you had pushed him away twice in less than a minute.
"Hey, are you all right?" he asked "It was the rollercoaster game—"
"Why didn't anyone tell me?" you interrupted him.
Jay frowned in response, glancing at you as soon as you stopped right in front of him and caught a glimpse of your face in the dim light of the amusement park parking lot. He saw your watery eyes and knew you could cry at any moment.
"What about?" he asked you again, and you realized that it couldn't be that he knew either since, in your brother's mind, you were like that for the roller coaster. But wasn't it obvious that it was for Heeseung? It didn't make sense.
Your chest ached a little more when you remembered his static face when you left quickly and how your friends commented on the girl so naturally that it was as if you weren't there.
You opened and closed your mouth, tried to say something and nothing came out the way you wanted it to. It sucked that everything was like that. When you finally plucked up the courage to talk to your brother, your phone rang, startling you both.
The handset came out of your back pocket and Heeseung's name flashed up on the screen. You didn't realize the grimace you were making until you looked at Jay and saw that he was waiting for you to pick up, but you didn't. You simply hung up. You simply hung up.
"What's going on?" he kept looking at you.
"Nothing" another ring from Heeseung and you would have hung up if Jay hadn't been quicker and answered on the second ring.
"Hey dude, it's Jay" you could hear Heeseung's voice in the background, but you couldn't understand much of what he was saying. Something seemed to touch the back of your brother's mind because he laughed deeply as he looked at you.
What's funny, asshole? You hissed while he still had your phone to his ear and was talking to Heeseung.
"Maybe that's why, but I'm not the one who's going to explain it to her" your brother's gaze was mixed as Heeseung said a few more words and the two finally hung up.
"What the fuck was that, Jay?"
"Heeseung called me… I mean, he called you to explain why he'd left so quickly" he told you.
"I think Jake already did that" you shrugged, showing how encouraging the conversation was because your sarcastic smile said it all.
"Listen, sis. It's not that—"
"Jay, please don't" you whimpered "I'm feeling terrible because all this time no one told me that Heeseung had someone else and we were acting like…"
"A couple, I know" you really hated it when Jay was able to complete his sentences more directly because maybe you would only respond like two people with more touches "That's exactly why he needs to explain it to you, not me."
"I don't want to listen, thank you."
"But you kind of will" he pursed his lips and put his hands in his trouser pockets, running his tongue over lower lip to suppress a smile "Because every two weeks Heejin and I go to Mom's for lunch, and this time since you're here, I'm going to make a point of calling Heeseung too."
"You wouldn't do that…"
"Oh, I would" Jay smiled this time.
And you knew for sure that your dear brother would be able to do it.
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You felt like jumping over the kitchen counter and lunging at Jay, but you were left to stir the chocolate in the pan to make a ganache for dessert. Your brother, smiling even too much, put the tomato slices in the glass dish while looking at you now and then and holding back a laugh.
"Cancel it with him, please" you almost cried, almost got down on your knees to Jay begging him not to come.
"Nope" he hummed, excitedly, "I like having my brother-in-law here. Besides, Mom loves it when he brings Aimi along."
"You're a motherfucker—"
"Hey, why am I being cursed at?" your mother chimed in. Jay burst into laughter and you just rolled your eyes, choosing to forget the conversation.
But your brother seemed to have plans to annoy you all weekend, and it was only Saturday. You wouldn't be able to stand it without hitting him once.
"I was telling y/n about Aimi" Jay said.
"Oh, I miss her so much" your mother said with such love that you rolled your eyes at the melted chocolate just so you wouldn't have to face the two of them who were heaping praise on Aimi.
For God's sake, did they have to do that in front of you? Maybe your mother didn't know what had happened between you and Heeseung, so the poor thing wouldn't be punished by your eyes almost shooting her. But your brother would. That asshole was going to pay dearly for every mention of Aimi's name and the way he openly smiled at you after saying it.
It didn't make sense for Jay to tease you about it, it didn't make sense for any of your friends to be into that sort of thing. Everyone there was dating, so why did things have to go that way with Heeseung?
Had Jay already cheated on Heejin, so he was an accomplice? Or had Jake and Sunghoon also been unfaithful, hence the partnership?
It wasn't easy to get into your head and you spent almost the whole week mulling it over, as well as running away from all Heejin's questions and why you were ignoring her brother.
"I just… I don't know, Heejin" you replied.
But she knew, of course, she knew. The only way to understand what was going on was to ask Jay, and like a good gossip, he would tell his girlfriend. Heejin even thought about clearing up the misunderstanding, but as her boyfriend had said, Heeseung was the one to do it.
So it was easy to convince him to go to lunch at your mother's house. You wanted to think it was because of the pool out back or her food, not because he had to explain something to you because you didn't want to hear it.
You refused to fall for his charms while he explained why he had cheated on you for a long time – totaling a month and a half, unfortunately, you counted – only for you to discover that there was another woman. And it wasn't even Heeseung who told you, it came out of Jake's mouth.
If your friend hadn't said anything at the amusement park, would you have known about her? Or would you continue to be fooled until you kissed Heeseung, fell even more in love and then he left you?
"Shit" you cursed quietly when the doorbell snapped you out of your thoughts.
All the food had been ready for a long time and you and your brother had decided to wait, sipping a glass of wine that your mother always left out for you to enjoy while they cooked.
It had to be the Lee siblings, so you decided to fill your glass and lean on the kitchen counter, not having the courage to move your feet as your brother walked past you and smiled with his mouth against the glass he was drinking.
"My love" Jay called out, and you knew it was Heejin he was greeting.
"Heeseung, Aimi!" that was your mother, and your stomach immediately churned at the mention of her name "Y/n, come over here."
I don't want to.
You should answer, that's what you had to do.
But contrary to your thoughts, your feet betrayed you and made you walk to the kitchen door so slowly that you were almost dragging yourself. Perhaps the glass of wine could have helped and stopped you from hugging them both, it would have been a perfect excuse while you just greeted everyone and went back to the kitchen.
As soon as you arrived, your eyes went straight to Heeseung and… A child? Heeseung was holding a little girl in his arms and she was the most beautiful thing you'd ever seen.
Dark hair, curious eyes, and flushed cheeks. She closed her little eyes as she smiled when Jay approached to take her in his arms, hearing the most delightful giggle you could ever remember a child having.
"Hey" Heejin greeted you before anyone could say anything. The two boys were very entertained by the little girl, who was mumbling a few things and talking to them, while your mother was already looking for a cartoon channel for her to watch "Are you okay?" your sister-in-law toasted with her full glass, and it was then that you noticed that she was holding Jay's glass.
Your head just nodded, saying nothing until Heeseung's eyes landed on you. He frowned when he saw how much wine was in your glass and you couldn't hide it since, as it was full, any sudden movement to place it behind your body could cause it to tip over.
Jay still had the little one on his lap and held her hand as he turned to you. She smiled in your direction and you tried to smile back, begging the heavens you hadn't made a face to scare the poor thing.
"Hi, y/n" Heeseung said directly to you as soon as you arrived at your mother's house. You shook your head at him, a silent way of saying hello. Your voice would waver if you said anything since it was the first time you'd seen him since the day at the amusement park, so you couldn't risk having a shaky, slurred, or harsh voice. So just a nod would be fine.
"You can choose any cartoon that uncle Jay will watch with you before lunch" Jay raised his hand and the little girl clapped it, making an animated hi-five as you watched your brother walk over to the sofa with her.
Your eyes lingered too long on the two of them animatedly chatting about the colorful cartoon characters that you didn't notice that Heejin had gone to talk to his mother and Heeseung was standing in front of you.
Hands in his pants pockets, hair slightly mussed, and biting his lower lip. He looked a little apprehensive for his taste.
"Y/n…"
"Bathroom" the little girl announced before Heeseung could even finish his sentence. He quickly looked over to where she was sitting and excused himself as he picked her up.
"Ready to use the bathroom?" he had such a beautiful smile when he talked to her that it seemed too encouraging, you almost forgot that you were angry with him "I'll be right back" Heeseung said before disappearing down the corridor in search of the downstairs bathroom.
That's how long it took you to stare at Jay and take a long sip of your wine before you saw him return with the little girl still on his lap.
"I did it, uncle Jay" she celebrated and Jay got up from the sofa, picking her up again.
"You were amazing, you know that? Your dad and I are so proud of you," he said.
Dad?
You bit your tongue to keep from screaming at that moment. The only thought running through your mind when Heeseung was still in the middle of the room but with his gaze fully on you.
"Y/n, that's Aimi" he pointed to the little girl who, as soon as she heard her name called, turned towards him "My daughter. And sweetie, this is y/n, uncle Jay's sister."
"Fuck" you whispered so quietly, not out of indignation, but because there was a child and you couldn't swear at her.
So your only reaction – apart from widening your eyes – was to gulp down all the wine and feel it burn your throat as you ran to the kitchen.
Your luck was that Aimi only nodded for a few seconds before turning her attention back to the drawing she was watching with Jay, so your state of panic hadn't had much effect on her. Unlike Heeseung, who walked in quick, hurried steps to the kitchen to chase after you.
The search for the wine was tireless. That bottle had run out a while ago and all you had to do was find another that your mother kept right there, but no. Those hands stopped you from opening it. Those hands stopped you from opening the mini cellar under the counter and made you turn to him.
"Wine won't help you much" Heeseung whispered to you.
"I just need to… I…"
"You need to sober up because I think we need to talk, don't you?"
Why did he have to whisper everything? And why did Heeseung have a relentless habit of leaning towards you every time he stood in front of you to say something?
"It's okay" was the only thing you managed to say because the next second his lips were on yours. Briefly, a kiss so quick that you couldn't even process the softness of Heeseung's mouth against yours.
"Great choice of wine, by the way" he licked his lips before leaving the kitchen, just as quickly as he came in after you.
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Heeseung was right, you two needed to talk. You were just putting it off all day because you felt like a complete idiot, thinking all sorts of bad things about him and your friends when, in fact, Aimi was just a child. And Heeseung's daughter.
All right, he also felt stupid for never mentioning it since the first time you and he started to get even closer, but the real thing was that he was afraid. He didn't want it to always be the same.
You swore that every moment at your parents' house would lead to a conversation with Heeseung because he never took his eyes off you, only to look in on Aimi or help her with something when no adult was doing so. He was such a helpful father and that only made your heart swell even more for that man.
Your mind just didn't process the fact that little Aimi would be clinging to you the moment everyone sat down to lunch.
"Sweetie, let y/n eat…"
"Dad" she pouted as she sat on your lap, smoothing her long hair so that it didn't fall on the plate in front of her.
"It's okay, I think I can help you, can't I, Aimi?"
"Yes" she turned her head to look at you, and that smile like her father's made you smile too.
Aimi was polite, only asked for your help to cut things she had difficulty with, and ate her vegetables without complaining while Heeseung just watched until she finished eating so she could get off your lap. So you could eat right then.
You noticed that Aimi sulked throughout lunch while the others ate until they finished their meal and she held out her arms to you.
"I thought we were going to watch a cartoon" Jay pouted when he saw that Aimi hadn't gone to sit on his lap.
"Actually, uncle Jay thought he'd get away with doing the dishes" you pretended to whisper to Aimi, hearing her giggle immediately afterward "But I think she'd rather stay with auntie y/n now, wouldn't you?"
When she nodded, it was enough for Jay to make a scene in which Aimi laughed even more.
Spending the afternoon with that child was the most incredible thing that could have happened to you over the last few days.
Watching cartoons with Aimi, hearing about colors and how she could count to forty. Or how she knew about animals because uncle Jay had given her a book that made sounds with a magic pen. And he bragged about the compliments in the present.
You felt your heart warm even more when everyone decided to spend time in the back garden, your lap serving as comfort for Aimi who played with the end of your hair until Heeseung signaled that she had fallen asleep on your lap. You didn't mind. She didn't weigh anything, she was cuddling you so comfortably and her little body was sleeping so nonchalantly that you just held her there and paid attention to Heejin's words, who was telling you about something at work.
Your eyes caught Heeseung's from time to time, and he couldn't help smiling as he looked at you and then at Aimi. Your daughter had liked you and that made Heeseung feel better, maybe the fear had passed and he could talk to you.
"Hey, y/n" Heeseung whispered close to your ear. You did everything you could not to move abruptly and not wake Aimi on your lap, so you just looked at him, noticing that his attention was everywhere but on what was happening in front of him.
Now it was your father who was talking about something you and your brother had done during a family vacation. Heejin laughed, asking something and you simply decided to pay attention to the man next to you.
"I can take her inside, I think I'll put her on the sofa because it's getting cold and your arms will go numb afterward" he kept whispering, making you laugh.
"I'll help you" you also whispered, settling Aimi in your arms and getting up with her still on your lap.
This was quite common, considering that Jay was always the one to take Aimi when Heeseung went to family lunches. But now you were there, placing Aimi on the three-seater sofa, wrapping her in cushions, and taking the blanket from Heeseung's hands to cover her carefully.
"She's beautiful" your voice came out so low, the compliment was so natural that you only noticed when Heeseung leaned his shoulder against yours and let out a low laugh.
"I think I did a good job" you laughed along with him, looking away from the little girl to the boy next to you "Do you have some time for me now?"
"Of course."
It couldn't be put off any longer, you knew he wanted to talk too so maybe it was time since everyone was talking outside and Aimi had gone to sleep. It was just you and Heeseung on the other side of the room so as not to wake the little one.
Being on the smaller sofa had never been a problem, but the proximity to him was what was making you apprehensive. Their legs touching each other, Heeseung's hands searching for something to hold, opting to leave it on his knees as he looked across the room. He looked at his daughter.
"It happened in the famous cliché of the first one-night stand in university" he moistened his lips and laughed humorlessly, then looked at you and bit his lower lip "Aimi's mother didn't want to keep her."
"What?" your eyes widened at that. You noticed that he sighed, perhaps he was about to tell you something difficult, so your instinct was to take one of his hands in yours, intertwining your fingers and showing that you were right there. Next to him, listening very carefully.
He sighed, taking a little more courage.
Heeseung and Jay had met and it wasn't by chance, they had been assigned roommates in university as soon as Heeseung had been admitted to his course. He and the boys have been inseparable ever since.
Like any university party, which you knew your brother was part of, Heeseung also liked to have fun like any other adult who had just been admitted and wanted to enjoy his youth. But irresponsibility got to him.
Unprotected and fruitless sex only happened in the movies his sister watched, because it wasn't like that with him. Months later, the news that the girl was pregnant devastated him and he wasn't sure what to do, but he thought that they could take care of the baby and that he would be there to help her.
That's not what happened. Heeseung lived on threats all that time.
I don't want to keep this baby unless you stay with me.
It was cruel, she was cruel to Heeseung. But what could he do? That woman was carrying his baby and he could only try to do everything to please her until the child was born. Aimi was beautiful from the first minutes of her life and was the joy of the Lee family.
"I think we should break up" that sentence made Heeseung sigh with relief, he knew it wouldn't last in a relationship that he had sustained only for the sake of the child.
Agreeing was the only right thing to do. But he also didn't know that she would give up any contact with the little girl, literally taking away any responsibility, walking out and never getting involved in the little girl's life since birth.
"The guardianship is completely yours, and she will never go near my niece again" Heejin had done everything since the second she found out she was going to be an aunt, and she had done everything could to make sure that woman would never go near Aimi.
Almost three years passed and he thought it would be difficult, but no. Heeseung was a father – solo – but he had such an immense support network, like his friends, his family, and Jay's family. Aimi didn't miss a mother figure in the slightest because she was surrounded by the love he always knew she never lacked.
Heeseung's fear revolved around any relationship that wouldn't accept his daughter, or that the child's mother would somehow resurface trying to give up something she never had a right to just because he was moving on with his life.
"I don't think you need to worry about that" you said in a low tone, letting him breathe a little after telling most – or almost all – of the story, "Heejin made it very clear and you know how much weight her words carry."
Heeseung laughed.
He clasped his hands even tighter in yours, tilting his head to rest his forehead against yours too.
"Believe me, over the years I've tried to get into relationships and one of them said that I spent more time with Aimi than with her."
"What—" you moved away for a few seconds, just long enough to face Heeseung, and then returned to your starting position, leaning your forehead against his "I think the danger now is that I'll be spending more time with her than with you."
"Will I be double-changed?" false indignation in his voice and Heeseung's hands loosened from his for a brief moment. You would have protested at the loss of contact if it hadn't been for his fingers slowly trailing up your cheek "If that's the case, I'll take it just fine."
"Then start thinking about it, Lee Heeseung."
"I'm thinking, Park Y/n" and then his lips met yours halfway.
A slow kiss and the perfect movement of each other's lips in such calm synchronicity. It was as if they both needed it as their tongues moved slowly, tasting the drink from hours ago and how Heeseung's warm muscle curled into yours. Your hands met his on his face, deepening the kiss even more and letting out a sigh when he slid down the sofa to be even closer to you.
That kiss was on another level, you felt like you were in paradise while Heeseung's lips were still on yours.
He slid his mouth along your jaw and down to your neck, small kisses left on your skin making you shiver completely until they were interrupted by a whimper.
You and Heeseung separated very slowly, both of you looking at the other sofa and noticing that Aimi was starting to cry quietly as she stood up, scratching at her eyes and with her hair completely messed up.
Heeseung got up from the sofa where the two of you were, walked over to his daughter, and bent down in front of her.
"Hi my love, did you have a bad dream?" he asked her, the little girl's eyes going to her father and they were completely watery. She held out her arms for him to take her, and so Heeseung did. "Hey, are you okay?" he asked back, with no reply. Aimi still had a pout on her lips and her eyes were almost streaming with the tears she was holding back.
That was enough for you to pout at the scene in front of you, holding back a scream as Aimi looked at you and her eyes lit up.
Her little arms went out towards you so excitedly that she almost threw herself off Heeseung's lap. You quickly got up from the sofa and picked her up, kissing her on the top of the head before making her lie on your shoulder.
"Sweetie?" Heeseung called out after she had snuggled into your lap.
"I want y/n" she said sleepily, yawning as she lay on your shoulder and practically falling back asleep within seconds.
You and Heeseung looked at each other, holding back a laugh as the little one went back to dreamland after being snuggled in your arms. He approached the two of you, kissing Aimi's cheek and then kissing your forehead before placing his own against it. Faces close together.
"I think I'm getting your daughter for myself" you hummed, kissing his lips in the process.
Heeseung laughed, nodding in denial as you moved away to go to the larger sofa in the living room.
He wanted to deny it and play with you, but seeing Aimi on your lap and that scene in front of him, all the fear Heeseung had was gone for sure.
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© ikeuverse, 2024. do not copy, translate or steal my stories.
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feeder86 · 26 days
Text
Maxed Out!
Those few seconds were pure heaven. Josh’s jaw dropped when he saw his new neighbor step out of his truck and start strutting a little way up the path towards his front door. Out from the corner of his curtains, he gasped at the man’s beautiful face and imposingly strong body; his t-shirt fitting impeccably well, the biceps on full show and the delicious pecs thrusting themselves forwards. Never in his life had he seen a man he had admired quite so much. But then the guy turned, giving Josh a great shot of his tight, muscular glutes and strong thighs on full display in only a pair of tight gym shorts. He was going back to the truck, the passenger door opening where a guy was just getting out as well. Like a gentleman, he went straight to him, took his hand and eased him out.
That was when the moments of bliss ended. Just as Josh was getting over the disappointment that his hunky, new gay neighbor was not single, the image of his boyfriend made his breath catch in his throat. It was a face he hadn’t seen in almost ten years and had dearly hoped he would never see again. He could feel his heart racing and his eyes bulging. It couldn’t be! Nathan? The guy who had made Josh’s high school existence an absolute misery. Fuck! Was he going to be moving in right next door? Josh wouldn’t be able to cope with that. Surely he wasn’t such a bad person that he would be deserving of this?
As if to rub salt in the wound, the beautiful, new, incredibly tall guy stooped down to kiss Nathan on the lips and he wrapped his strapping arm over his shoulders, both of them gazing upon the house they had just purchased. In his shock, Josh hadn’t realised that he had strayed out from behind the curtain, only noticing how exposed he was when the new guy caught his stare and smiled at him, waving politely at Josh through his window. 
Instinctively, Josh threw himself back, filled with embarrassment. He couldn’t let Nathan see him. No way! Everything he had done in life seemed to evaporate: his successful career, his weight loss. He was reduced to being that shy, overweight, 280lbs eighteen year old boy no-one wanted to be friends with.
Josh swallowed. He really had come a long way since those days. Back then, he had been timid and unsure of himself at the all-boys school he attended with Nathan. He hadn’t been able to make friends quite like Nathan could, seemingly effortlessly. And, despite the fact that they were both out about their sexualities, it was only ever Josh who was made fun of for it; alongside his large, round belly and broad, dimpled, under exercised butt. In fact, rather bizarrely, the abuse was usually instigated by Nathan himself, who wanted to position himself as the cool, sporty and fun gay guy of the year group, doing his best to ensure that any homophobic bullying was sent Josh’s way instead. The tactic worked flawlessly. 
Since then, Josh had fully embraced his sexuality and now maintained his low weight for over two years. College had been awesome and everyone in the neighborhood loved him here. So why hide out and pretend that he didn’t have the courage to face his old demons head on? Without even registering what his body was doing, Josh found his feet were suddenly leading him out of the door. It was, once again, that ridiculous side of himself, so desperate to please; the part of him that had made him such a target in high school; that made him open his own front door and smile at them both warmly in greeting,
“Hello!” he sang, wanting so desperately to speak only to the new guy, yet unable to tear his eyes from Nathan as the boy visibly grimaced in recognition of Josh. “Congratulations on the new house!” he smiled, hearing a slight crack in his voice.
As if sensing his lover’s disdain, the handsome, new guy looked down at his boyfriend in amusement. Nathan was being rude, and he knew it, so he unhooked his arm from his shoulder and strolled across the grass to shake Josh’s hand alone. “Nice to meet you,” he smiled in a deep, charming tone that sent a spark of lust through Josh’s whole body. “My name is Max,” he explained, turning back to his boyfriend and pondering. “But something tells me you two already know each other already…” he grinned, as if this scenario was all quite funny to him.
“Yes!” Josh tried to smile; his heart beating a mile a minute and feeling like his whole body had been transported back ten years as he was staring into the eyes of his bully, desperate to get away unharmed. “We were in school together,” he nodded, noticing for the first time that Nathan wasn’t quite as slim as he had been back then. His stomach was slightly thicker, as were his thighs and chest. He had a slight puddle of fat under his chin that should have given Josh confidence, considering all the weight he himself had lost in the last two years to become the slim, healthy-looking, pretty boy at long last. But… it didn’t. Despite being in the best shape of his life, Josh still felt like the fat boy Nathan used to target every day. “It’s lovely to see you again, Nathan!” he tried.
Nathan scowled and huffed. “Sure. You too,” he spat insincerely, averting his eyes back to Max straight away. “Honey, could you get my box from the back of the truck?”he asked.
Max sighed, playfully rolling his eyes at Josh. “Sure thing, Honey,” he called back, ripping off his t-shirt to reveal the incredible, muscular physique underneath as he prepared to set to work unloading.
“Is there anything I can do to help?” Josh asked them both, like a glutton for punishment. All he really wanted to do was to get inside and hide away.
Max seemed to look him over; his thin physique and 150lb frame, dressed smartly in a well ironed shirt. “No,” he replied, assessing Josh to be fairly useless for the physical moving and carrying that would be his chore for the next hour. “I’ll be fine,” he smiled, giving him a charming wink.
Nathan waited until Max was out of earshot. It was a tactic Josh remembered well, already bracing himself. “You can stop looking at Max like that,” he grunted at him. “We’re not friends,” he hissed. “You were a prissy little no-body in school and…” he continued, eyeing up and evaluating Josh’s well maintained and impeccably manicured front yard, “...you’re clearly just the same now.”
“Nathan, this is silly…” Josh tried once more, summoning all his resolve. “We’re grown adults.”
“You think because you’ve lost a few pounds I’m going to let you be friends with me?” he laughed, always keeping an eye that Max wasn’t listening. “Go home, Josh. And stay there.”
Reeling, Josh did indeed go inside, cursing himself; imagining what a fool he had made coming out to greet them like that. Why did he have to give Nathan the satisfaction of even trying to be nice to him? Why couldn’t he accept that the guy would never tolerate him? 
The teenager inside of Josh made a grab for control. He opened the cupboards and started whipping up a batch of cookie dough. He ripped open the ice cream and began spooning it into his mouth, knowing that food had been the only true comfort for him back in those dark days of high school. He would have been that way all night, gorging himself, had Kelly from next door not stopped by, knocking on the back door and seeing the mess in the kitchen.
“Oh, you’re making your famous oatmeal cookies for the new neighbors?” she’d assumed, full of smiles. 
Josh nodded, pleased that a plausible excuse had just fallen so easily into his lap. Of course it had been Kelly who had been one of the first to introduce herself to the new couple next door. The woman thrived on the suburban gossip and would actively make it her mission to get around everyone on the street, sharing what she had gleaned from the fresh arrivals.
“They’re such a lovely couple, aren’t they?” Kelly went on. “Nathan works from home, y’know? His family owns a big share in the haulage company over by the docks. That’s probably how he landed a guy like Max! He’s so handsome, isn’t he?” she swooned. “I bet the family are rolling in it!”
Such a thought had crossed Josh’s mind too. Sure, Nathan had always been a good-looking guy, but he wasn’t as slender, nor as athletic as he had once been. Even to the untrained eye, Max seemed more than a little out of his league these days. Then again, Max seemed to be doing pretty well all by himself; his own sizable construction business’ name printed down the side of the two trucks they now had on the driveway. What reason would he have for settling for a slightly chubby guy from a wealthy family when he was clearly already doing well for himself already? 
“I think they’re going to fit right in here,” Kelly nodded. “Nathan’s even coming with us to yoga class on Wednesday!”
Josh’s heart sank. He loved that yoga class, but there was no way he was going if Nathan was there as well. Already the spiteful boy was making a move on all his friends. He considered telling Kelly everything he knew about the real Nathan; their shared history and the bullying. But then everyone would know what a loser he had been back in high school. News like that had a way of spreading like wildfire, twisting and evolving as it passed from person to person. Could Josh handle that? More than ever, he wanted to leave his high school days in the past. Acting as if he didn’t know Nathan seemed like the best thing to do; especially if he didn’t want to be the source of neighborhood gossip.
“They smell great!” Max smiled, looking genuinely delighted at the large container of oatmeal cookies Josh had felt compelled to deliver to him after promising Kelly that he would. He’d hidden behind his curtains for nearly twenty minutes until he was sure that Nathan was inside the house, leaving Max alone in the front yard to unpack the last few boxes for the evening.
“It’s something of a tradition for me to make them when a new neighbor arrives,” Josh smiled meekly, still checking the porch to ensure that Nathan wasn’t about to reappear.
“Yes,” Max smiled back at him. “I’ve already heard about your excellent baking!” he offered charmingly. Clearly Kelly had spent quite some time telling him about all the neighbors.  “Nathan is going to love these. He has quite the sweet tooth, y’know?”
Josh tried to smile back, but just the mention of Nathan’s name was enough to start making him feel as sick as he had back in high school. “Well, make sure you get to taste some as well,” he replied quietly. Back before Josh had gone on his weight loss journey, the recipe he had followed had been his absolute favorite. The cookies were far too nice for the likes of Nathan!
“Oh, I wouldn’t dare!” Max joked. “Nathan is quite the glutton when he gets something sugary!” He looked sideways to check that his boyfriend wasn’t about. “It’s the reason why his ass is a lot wider than you probably remember it in high school!” he chuckled, theatrically masking one side of his mouth so that no one could read his lips.
Josh laughed, taking to Max straight away. Nathan had always been highly strung and awkward, but this guy was as relaxed and as wicked as they came. According to Kelly, they had only been together a few months. Max was the sort of level-headed man who would soon see through Nathan’s false facade. He had the air of a charming bad boy about him; someone who was rarely bettered in a battle of wits.
“Nathan’s always been a very handsome guy,” Josh conceded, not wanting to implicate himself in anything that could be considered unkind in front of Max.
“Oh, yeah, for sure!” Max smiled, nodding in full agreement. “But even handsome guys can overeat…“ he smirked. “Trust me, I doubt any of these cookies will ever see daylight again!”
Josh smiled politely and walked back to his house, his mind whirring away. Nathan would have to be very silly to let his appetite get the better of him and lose a man like Max. Josh had never imagined his old high school bully would get even a little chubby, yet there was no denying that Nathan was starting to let himself go a bit. Perhaps it wouldn’t be the worst thing ever. The faster Max got fed up with Nathan’s expanding waistline, the sooner they could all be rid of him - for good!
The following week, Josh’s heart leapt with joy as he saw Max returning home with a full tray of doughnuts. He grinned. offering a silent prayer that Nathan would gorge on the lot and struggle to fit in his pants the next day. Despite the outward appearance of order and harmony within Max and Nathan’s house, it seemed obvious to Josh that the pair’s home must still be upside down after the big move. Why else would Max have come hom with take out every night that week, if not for that? Inside his head, Josh was adding up all the calories and just imagining what impact they may have on nasty old Nathan. Back when Josh was with his ex, he’d been verbally mocked for even looking at foods like that when he still had weight to lose. Yet, there was Max fetching and carrying it all in for him as if he had no idea how much foods like those could influence a guy’s weight when he didn’t work a manual job, like himself.
After skipping yoga for a couple weeks, Josh sensed the other ladies on the street starting to treat him a little differently; their husbands soon following suit. Perhaps it was the obvious extra pounds he was starting to carry on his stomach once more. His tummy had swollen and softened as he consoled himself with his own baking after each intimidating stare from Nathan every time he was unfortunate enough to see him outside. The others on the street were short and impatient, moving away from him as quickly as they could. There were scowls and forgotten invitations to backyard barbecues; clear signs that something was going dramatically wrong. It was happening all over again, just like last time. Nathan had spread his vicious lies and set Josh well within his sights. Josh could just imagine the guy’s smug, satisfied face after each made-up rumour he would tell. Now the neighbors huddled together with Nathan; their backs turned to Josh; an impenetrable wall. Josh watched on, filled with hopelessness, whilst being periodically glanced over at as they continued to discuss him; the outsider.
It was all too much. Josh felt like he had built up a life for himself, only for Nathan to come along and knock it all down. Pretty soon it was only the hapless Max who ever had a friendly smile for him. The ice cream, the cookies, the chocolate, they all called out to him when he came in feeling glum; Josh’s healthy eating regime shattering into a million pieces.
Clothes were tightening, the extra pounds spreading, and a reinflation of Josh’s previously toned body was a seemingly unstoppable process. His butt had always taken the brunt whenever his diet had failed him, but the build up of pure fat felt so much more extreme this time. Josh avoided the mirror, stuck to his loosest fitting outfits and attempted to ride out the winter, assuring himself that all would come right again, once the darkness ended.
It was Spring when Max was cutting the grass in his front yard. With his shirt off, Josh suspected that he wasn’t the only one on the street twitching at the curtains. Even the oldest residents could attest to the fact that there had never been such a handsome, masculine presence on this street. Not that Josh could ever hope to have a man like that now. He’d piled on so much weight over the winter months. He’d felt it all sliding back onto his body, invading his stomach and chest once more. His old t-shirts had come out of the attic, his former pants and jeans. He could feel it under his chin, bloating up his face, jiggling in his love handles and swelling up his butt; 45lbs of pure lard, developed from months of comfort eating due to the quiet isolation he now felt. Dating was out of the question; at least not until he got a grip of himself again. But when would that be?
Max was cleaning the blades of the mower when his miserable boyfriend came trotting out carrying a cool glass of lemonade for him. Wearing loose, unflattering sweatpants, Nathan hovered above his crouching man as if he was utterly oblivious as to how gigantic his butt looked. Winter had been hard on him as well it seemed, Josh smiled. It was completely transformative! Rather than being a little over-padded, Nathan’s butt and love handles had swollen to a width that would make jaws drop. This was a fat boy, without a doubt, having piled on even more than Josh himself. It wasn’t even as if he had become more shapely or especially masculine, but more like a hose had been inserted into his rear and pure blubber pumped in as much as he could take. 
Max’s face lit up upon seeing his boy, rising to his feet, strapping his hands onto that big butt and pulling him in for a kiss. He seemed to revolve Nathan slightly so that his hefty rear could be seen even by those living across the street; the guy’s strong hands genuinely appearing to revel in the size of those lardy glutes.
Nathan laughed and patted the horny boy away, trotting back into the house and inadvertently giving Josh a better look at the rest of his body: that double chin, the puffy arms, the rounded tummy, the larger mounded chest. Just what had the boy been eating whilst he worked from home all these months? He had completely ballooned!
Josh’s attention turned back onto Max: a satisfied grin spreading across his face as he watched Nathan disappear from view. It had been him, Josh realised, as the handsome boy chuckled to himself and crouched back down to clean the lawnmower blades. Barely a night had gone by when Josh hadn’t caught sight of him carrying something tasty in for his lover after a long day at work. He’d enabled it all. Hell, he might as well have had his name tattooed on that oversized rump of Nathan’s. Yet… he was still attracted to the awful boy. What sort of a guy put up with a weight gain like that? Certainly not any of the ones Josh had ever dated; constantly criticising his appearance and making him feel unworthy of their love, he thought bitterly to himself. Yet, there was the completely undeserving Nathan, likely far exceeding 240lbs, and still actively garnering the attention of a man like Max. 
There was no such thing as karma. Life wasn’t fair. People never really got what they deserved. Some guys were just born lucky.
It had been a slip at work that had done it. Josh was laid up on his couch resting his broken ankle and feeling more than a little sorry for himself that May. Whilst he enjoyed the freedom of being single, living alone was not always easy when things weren’t going great. Two weeks into the healing process and already the house looked a mess. He was existing off microwave meals, working from home and moving as little as possible, just as the doctor had ordered. He thought of all the times he had been there to help others on the street when bad luck had befallen them; yet no one had called round to check on him. With his parents gone and brother living so far away, Josh had never felt so isolated in his life. That was, until a large shadow crossed his window as the figure of Max could be seen in his front yard, mowing the grass for him. 
Josh hobbled to the front door and caught his attention, thanking Max for coming to help even when he had not asked. His yard had never looked like such a mess; the beautiful flowers he looked forward to each summer going unnoticed, hidden behind an unruly forest of weeds and grass.  
“Nathan’s away at a friend’s this weekend,” Max explained. “I’ve not got much to do anyway,” he shrugged.
Josh nodded, wondering whether even Max would dare to help him had Nathan been at home. Although he often caught the man in the front yard and exchanged a few simple, friendly words, he had always been keen to keep his guard up. He knew that, as a couple, Nathan would have spoken to him about why he didn’t like Josh. Perhaps they laughed about him behind his back. He could easily imagine that.
“Is there anything else I can do for you whilst I’m here?” Max asked kindly,letting himself in later that afternoon and stepping into Josh’s living area as he tried to get himself upright to greet the strapping man properly.
“No, you’ve already done so much! You’ve been a lifesaver!” Josh smiled. He looked down at his cast, wishing it away so that his life could get back to normal and not rely on others like he was having to right now. “What can I do to thank you?”
Max scratched his head in thought. “Maybe, when you’re better, you could make another batch of those cookies for Nathan?” he considered. “He guzzled the last batch down in no time at all,” he laughed, not hiding an element of mockery within.
Josh paused for a moment, unsure whether there was some sort of punchline coming from Max’s strange humor about his boyfriend’s appetite. “Sure,” he nodded at last. “I can do that.”
“Thanks,” Max smiled, dropping his head slightly and starting to shuffle out. But then he paused, turning back. “This must be pretty nice for you, huh?” he asked. “Nathan was such a bastard to you for being fat in high school, and now he’s the one carrying around all that extra weight? I imagine you feel pretty smug each time you see him?”
Josh stared at him. What sort of a question was that? He started to mumble a reply, realising that he didn’t even know what he was supposed to say. “Well, I’m hardly one to judge,” he finally replied softly. He hadn’t expected anyone to see him that day and his fat stomach wasn’t hidden in the slightest by the old, tight band t-shirt he’d slipped on earlier.
“Go on, admit it!” Max smirked. “You hate his guts!”
Again, Josh struggled to find words. “I wouldn’t say I hated him,” he lied.
“Why not?” Max asked. “He hates you. Loathes you, in fact! You should hear some of the things he’s been going around telling the neighbors.”
Josh frowned. “What’s he been saying?" he asked, immediately outraged. He took a breath, realising that he’d actually rather not know. He couldn’t say he’d ever really understood Max’s boyish humor, but his motives for saying these things eluded Josh. It was almost as if he enjoyed all the drama. “Okay…” he sighed, defeated.
“So, how do you feel about him?” Max pressed, not letting this go.
Not knowing what else to do, Josh shrugged and relented. “Fine. I don’t like him. Okay?“
Grinning with triumph, Max nodded with delight. “Good,” he smirked. “Make sure you channel that when you’re making him those cookies then: a little extra butter here, more sugar in there. Think of all the mean fat jokes he ever made about you,” he stated pointedly. “Make the greedy little piggy pay…”
Afterwards, Josh felt like he had slipped into a strange, alternative reality. Guys didn’t talk like that about their boyfriends; so why had Max spoken about Nathan like he was trying to stir up an old vendetta? Had they argued before he’d gone away that weekend? Was all not as it seemed next door? The whole thing could have been the start of a very scandalous neighborhood discussion had Josh been the type to share with the gossips. Not that anyone was really talking to him right now. As it was, Josh simply pondered it alone, slowly making up a batch of the cookies as Max had asked.
That Sunday, Josh yelled to Max as he headed out to pick Nathan up from the airport. He hobbled back into the kitchen, fetching the container of cookies so that he could hand them to him. The strapping man was waiting in his hallway expectantly, dressed in a smart shirt as if he was going to take Nathan straight out for dinner afterwards. His aftershave smelt enticing and the man’s eyes lit up when he saw the container so filled with cookies. He seemed genuinely thrilled to hold it in his hands.
“I hope there’s plenty of butter in these?” he asked seriously, studying the rise as if he knew what to look for.
Josh nodded, suddenly feeling under scrutiny. “You can look at the recipe,” he replied, unsure why he was so keen to please, even in this bizarre situation.
“That’s alright,” Max chuckled. “I trust you,” he whispered with a wink. “We’ve got his sister’s wedding coming up this month and I want him looking fat as fuck beforehand! He bought a suit for it months ago but… I have a funny feeling it won’t be fitting so well,” he smirked wickedly.
Max turned to leave.
“Do you…” Josh tried to ask, feeling uncomfortable with the way things were going down. “It’s just… I find it so strange. Do you not like Nathan, or something?”
Max looked like he wanted to laugh as he turned around to hold eye contact with Josh once more. “Of course I don’t!” he blasted. “Who the hell could actually like Nathan? Only absolute morons! You and I both know better than most… Nathan is not a good person.”
Whatever answer Josh had been anticipating, that had not been it. 
“Then… Why are you with him?” he asked slowly, as if this was all too complicated for his brain; like he had missed some crucial detail that would tie it all together.
Max checked his watch and shrugged, no longer caring if he was going to be a little late to pick Nathan up. “I’m playing the long game,” he sighed. “Nathan and his family have been throwing their weight around for far too long in this town.” He looked at Josh as if he knew him far better than even he could realise. “Nathan’s father fired my dad when he questioned him about his business affairs; framed him for some corrupt dealings; gave my mom a nervous breakdown. We lost everything. Dad went to prison. I grew up in a trailer park with my grandparents.”
“That’s awful!” Josh tried to sympathise.
“It is what it is,” Max shrugged. “I can’t change the past.” He leaned against the wall, sighing with sadness. “I’m not the type to let bullies get away with things. But that attitude got me in so many fights back in high school, let me tell you!” he chuckled, almost with nostalgia.
Josh admired his fine, muscular body once more. Of course Max could handle himself. He was so built and tall, he wouldn’t need to take shit from anyone. 
“I’ve come across many awful people in my time. Nathan is by far the worst of them all. He dated one of my best friends for almost a year. He had him working to the bone to please him, all the while fucking some guy who lived in their apartment building. He ran up a huge debt in my friend’s name, fleeced a ton of cash off him and walked away with the keys to their apartment. My buddy wrapped his car around a tree and only just escaped with his life. I saw it happening all over again, the whole cycle of cruelty that family is so good at. Only this time, I wasn’t too small to do anything about it.”
Josh nodded sympathetically. None of what he had heard surprised him, but it felt good to listen to someone else highlighting what a piece of work the woman actually was. “But, how?” he asked, still not understanding Max’s plan. “You can’t just be trying to fatten him up so that no one else will have him?” In Josh’s head, it didn’t compute. He couldn’t make the leap from the trauma of the past into the incredibly surreal present day situation going on next door.
“I sure can!” Max chuckled. “He’s a greedy boy. I spotted it in him straight away. It was always bound to happen sooner or later. I’m just speeding the process along…” He could see how sceptical Josh looked. “You know the real Nathan better than most people. He’s not charismatic, especially intelligent, or in any way kind. He’s just a pretty boy from a wealthy family. And he’s played those two cards his entire life, no matter the damage he leaves in his wake. I could tell you so much more about the things he’s done.”
“But that doesn’t mean you should…” Josh tried, hardly bringing himself to say it again “...fatten him up.” He knew, in some bizarre way, that he was possibly the only person Max had confided all of this in.
“Nathan was the one who put the drugs in your brother’s locker in high school, y’know,” Max jumped in. “He did it to spite you because you dared to talk back to him one day. He actually laughed about it when he was telling me how your brother got kicked out of school and your folks shipped him off to some military academy.”
Josh recoiled, knowing the exact and only moment he had dared talk back to Nathan in high school, now realising the devastating consequences it had had. He’d never suspected Nathan capable of planting the drugs back then. Not ever. But it was the reason Josh’s brother had gone into the army afterwards; why he had ended up stepping on that landmine.
“Nathan saw him in his wheelchair when he came here during the holidays,” Max went on. “He didn’t flinch. He didn’t even care.”
“Well, I guess he couldn’t possibly have known…” Josh tried to reason.
“Josh! When are you going to stop letting people push you around?” Max blasted, losing patience with him. “When are you actually going to stand up for yourself? Nathan has been ruining your life for years now and you’ve done absolutely nothing to try and stop him!”
Josh lowered his head. He’d always been such a timid creature, so desperate to please. But Max was right: Nathan was bad to the bone. He couldn’t find the strength to do anything about that in high school, but maybe now he could. “It’s not just the weight gain you’re using to get back at him, is it?” he asked, sensing now how sharp and clever the man before him was; ten steps ahead of everyone else, playing a game none of them even suspected.
Max nodded. “The weight gain is just…karma,” he smirked. “You don’t need to know the rest,” he stated seriously. “Keep your friends close and your enemies…” he rambled ominously. “I want to bring the whole lot of them down. That entire, rotten, corrupt family.”
“I believe you,” Josh smiled, viewing Max as the guardian angel he had always longed for. “I think, If anyone can do this, you can.”
The pair smiled at each other, understanding one another at last.
“I’ll make you some more cookies and treats,” Josh finally sighed. “I’m not saying I necessarily agree with that particular method of how you’re trying to get him back, but…I guess I’m willing to help in any small way I can,” he offered, hardly believing that the words were coming out of his mouth.
Max’s eyebrows rose up high and he chuckled in surprise. “Josh, Josh, Josh…” he tutted mockingly. “Are you serious? Or are you just saying this because you’re upset about everything I just told you?”
Josh swallowed. Max was a knight in shining armour, ready to save him from the most vile creature on Earth. Finally, there was someone willing to take Nathan on. If only he had had an ally like him back in high school. “I’m going to help you,” he stated calmly. “Just tell me what I need to do.”
Once his foot was out of the cast two weeks later, Josh settled to his side of the bargain with enthusiasm. There were so many recipes he hadn’t tried in years given that he’d been losing weight. Now he was getting to have a go at them all, quietly helping his cunning neighbor get his own back on the man he was pretending to be in love with. Max would accept the treats and repackage them so that Nathan would have no idea they were especially baked for him from just next door.
“How was the wedding?” Josh asked Max as he came over to collect the cream cakes Josh had promised him before they left the previous weekend.
Max smirked wickedly, standing just inside the doorway. He had the musk of a strong, capable man after a hard day’s work, a scent which never failed to make every part of Josh tingle. “Awesome!” he nodded in delight. “Just as I predicted, Nathan couldn’t squeeze into his suit properly. He got himself so drunk on champagne that he fell over onto his huge ass for everyone to see, tearing the pants all the way through to the crotch!”
“Oh, I wish I could have seen that!” Josh chuckled, allowing more and more of his wicked side to emerge the longer he had been supporting Max.
“Here,” Max offered, pulling out his cell phone and showing Josh a picture of the tear. He leaned in closer; his strong arm holding the phone up in front of Josh’s face. It was the sort of closeness Josh looked forward to most of all. “His father was furious with him!” Max added, delighted with himself.
“I’m pleased to hear it,” Josh smiled.
“So these are the cream cakes you promised, huh?” Max asked, taking the box from Josh. “Beautiful presentation, as always!” he winked.
Josh blushed a little. “Well, I know it’s just the calories you care about. But I can’t help myself. I enjoy making them look nice.”
“No, no… it all helps!” Max countered. “The fat pig can’t stop himself when they look as enticing as these! It makes my job a lot easier. Thank you.”
Chuckling with a little nervousness, Josh could hardly look Max in the eye. There was something about his enjoyment of all of this that really made him swoon for him. If he was being completely honest with himself, his efforts in the kitchen weren’t entirely about getting revenge on Nathan. These moments alone with Max were also a significant highlight. Not only was the man dripping with sex appeal, but when he spoke about how fat and heavy Nathan was getting, the whole thing seemed almost kinky and excitingly naughty.
“Well, to be fair, neither can I,” Josh admitted, trying not to take it all too seriously. “There were a couple more cream cakes in the box before I got a little peckish earlier.” He rubbed his fat stomach, knowing that the extra few pounds he’d added since baking so much for Max was its own cosmic justice for getting mixed up in this whole wicked plan to fatten up his old high school bully. 
Max smiled at him in that cheeky, naughty way that made Josh’s knees want to buckle.
“My ass will soon be as big as Nathan’s!” Josh joked.
“Absolutely!” Max grinned, looking his body up and down like he was checking him out. “You won’t hear any complaints from me about that!”
Josh’s laugh caught in his throat. Was Max being serious with him? It was the most bizarre feeling he had had around him yet. On the one hand, the handsome guy was telling Josh he’d put on a few pounds. Yet, on the other… it definitely felt as if he was flirting at the same time. “I guess I’ll just have to watch what I eat from now on then…” Josh answered, if only to fill the silent void that would likely have followed had he not.
“Nah…” Max grinned. “Not every man wants to date a stick insect,” he winked. “I wouldn’t be doing any of this to Nathan if I didn’t quietly enjoy it.” He lifted a cream cake out of the container and placed it on the side. “For later,” he smiled at him. “For a man who actually deserves it…”
When Josh stood on the scales the next week, he was shocked to see that he was the heaviest he had been in over two years. He rubbed his fat tummy, able to grab full rolls of fat once again now he was 250lbs. His body was familiar and yet very different at the same time. Even at his heaviest, some 30lbs north of this, he had never carried the fat on his glutes like this before. He shook them, hardly comprehending the blubber that rocked and wobbled. But there was an even greater difference to the last time Josh was this size, one that couldn’t be reflected back at him in the mirror: a contentedness that seemed almost inexplicable. So what if he was fat again? Nathan was still considerably fatter. So what if he enjoyed his food? He’d always been a fat boy, no matter how ‘thin’ he had appeared until recently. He’d been a people pleaser for far too long. Now was the time to accept himself for who he truly was. A new Josh had been born.
“I thought I could smell you frying up doughnuts!” Max laughed, letting himself in through the back door, as he was now accustomed to doing. In this neighborhood, tongues would soon start wagging should he be seen to be coming over too often.
“I found a recipe online,” Josh smiled, still with his back to him as he fried. “I’ll put some to the side for you shortly.”
Max had found the recipe printout on the side and he whistled in delight. “Wow… you are quite the bad boy!” he teased. “This is one of the most fattening things I’ve seen you make yet!”
Josh turned, resetting the timer before the latest batch could come out. “I also made some cupcakes earlier,” he pointed to the cooling rack by the refrigerator. “I’ll put some icing on them and you can take some back with you. How long have you got?”
“Twenty minutes or so,” Max shrugged. “Nathan doesn’t know I’m back from the gym yet. He’s in the bathtub.”
“Let’s hope he doesn’t get wedged in…” Josh teased, knowing that Max’s wicked sense of humour was rubbing off on him. “What a shame that would be!” he joked.
The man smiled brightly at him; that beautiful face, the wicked twinkle in his eyes. “You know, you’ve really come out of your shell these last few weeks,” Max beamed, admiring every part of him.
Josh ripped one of the fresh, sugar-coated doughnuts in half and put it in his mouth. “I’m just done with giving a crap about what other people think of me. I never realised how good it would feel just to… let it all go.”
Max seemed completely mesmerised by him as Josh ate the second half of the doughnut. He turned back around to pull the last batch out and turned the frier off. It was then that Josh heard him getting up from the stool he was perched on at the breakfast bar and come ever closer. Josh had known for a few days what would happen next; the inevitability of it all; the profound sexual tension. It began with Max’s large hands sliding onto his thicker hips. Max stooped down lower, resting his head on Josh’s shoulder and turned his face in towards his; the hunk’s sweet breath against Josh’s ear. “I think that’s the sexiest thing you’ve ever said,” he whispered.
Josh chuckled to himself. It was actually happening! He swivelled, his mouth meeting Max’s as they kissed sweetly and passionately for the first time. They pulled away, looking deeply into the other’s eyes before laughing and going back in for more. Max’s hands began sliding under Josh’s clothes, lifting his t-shirt off, lowering his sweatpants and feeling the fleshy areas of his body that no man had ever appreciated on him before. The sensation made Josh moan, only spurring Max on further as he lustfully consumed him. In no time at all, the clothes covering the lower halves of both their bodies were removed, Max pressing his oversized hardness into an oiled up Josh. He’d lifted the chubby boy up and placed him down upon the table, spreading his thick legs as he held the glutton’s feet aloft. The thrusting was firm, pleasurable and manic. Max pulled out, lifted his shirt off and used his tongue to warm Josh up until he felt ready to scream with enjoyment, before inserting himself back in and going at it once more. Josh felt at his large, doughy nipples as they rocked and jiggled from the motion, laying across the table top. Max too reached out for them, moaning with pure pleasure. The way he touched them was complete eroticism, bringing intense stimulation wherever his large hands went; especially when they started working Josh’s own hardness. 
Josh could tell that Max was having to hold himself back. His enjoyment of his wobbling fat body was absolute. Josh could hardly believe that such a handsome, muscular man was actually making love to him, working so hard to ensure that they could both climax together. The inevitable conclusion, only moments later, was more satisfying than any sexual experience of Josh’s whole life.
Max seemed overcome afterwards, panting furiously. He lifted Josh clean up from the table and kissed him once more. “I’m falling in love with you. You do realise that, right?” he whispered sweetly, letting Josh know that, for him, what they had just done wasn’t only for fun.
Josh beamed, gazing up at the man he admired most in the world. He didn;t need to say anything back. At that moment, both of them just knew.
Having a relationship with another guy’s man was not something Josh had ever thought himself capable of. Then again, none of the men he had clumsily drifted along with since high school had ever been like Max. He was so hardworking and reliable; so handsome and kind. He brought out a side of him that Josh never knew existed, and boosted his confidence like no one had ever even tried to. The man was everything Josh could ever have wished for. But then, he was also still in a sham relationship with the guy Josh despised most in the world.
“No-one likes you here. You know that, right?” hissed an aggressive voice that made Josh jump as he deadheaded the last of the late summer blooms.
“Nathan,” Josh sighed, surprised that he hadn’t even noticed the fat lump coming towards him. Max was clearly working late, otherwise the blubbery bully would never have approached him like this in the evening. “How’re you?”
“You heard me, right?” Nathan battled on, ignoring Josh’s attempt at niceties. “No one likes you here.”
Josh continued with what he was doing. It was the first time he’d spoken to Nathan without his heart beating wildly in his chest. “I am very aware that nobody likes me around here, yes,” he replied calmly, snipping away at the faded flowers.
“You should just sell up and leave,” Nathan continued, getting closer. With his massive weight gain, he had the appearance of being even more intimidating than ever before. 
Josh simply ignored him, continuing with his gardening. With so many windows facing towards his garden, there was no way Nathan would ever risk getting physical with him, as he used to when they were teenagers. However, Nathan still had the mindset of a reckless bully and needed to be treated with the utmost caution. Perhaps it was his weight that was making him feel so discontented this evening and in need of hitting out on Josh. Indeed, it was somewhat amusing to Josh that Nathan hadn’t so far tried to use Josh’s own weight gain to aggravate him. There could be only one reason for that: Nathan was well aware that he had packed on even more lard himself.
“If people don’t like me much around here, it’s because they believe a pack of lies, maliciously spread in order to ruin my reputation,” Josh simply offered in reply. “And if people actually like you, it’s because they believe all the lies you tell them in order to make yourself look better. Either way, I’d much rather be who I am, rather than you.”
“How’s your brother doing?” Nathan snapped back.
Josh took a breath. Nathan was a master at warfare. When he realised that one thing was failing to get a rise out of Josh, he could always flip to the next. It was flawlessly jarring and caught him off-guard each and every time. Josh could sense Nathan’s power growing.
“That’s one sweet wheelchair he uses these days,” the bully taunted.
In an instant, Josh felt all his patience evaporate. The end had officially arrived. There the hose pipe lay next to him. He reached for it swiftly, knowing the gun was set to the most powerful mode after he’d been clearing out the drains. Then a wicked grin filled his face as he squeezed the trigger tightly. A fast flowing jet of ice-cold water flew out, pressing forcefully into Nathan’s large, fat tummy and soaking him in an instant. The man yelled, clearly caught out by Josh’s surprising backbone. He began retreating, but Josh was in no mood to let him off, holding firmly to that hose pipe gun and aiming relentlessly towards the bully. The fat boy began moving faster, charging across his lawn and towards the safety of his own home. Josh simply followed him with the water, even as the obese man slipped and landed heavily on the grass, face-first. Even then, Josh still aimed that hose at the wide, fat rump of the boy who had tormented him for so long. Nathan quickly picked his heavy body back up and ran onto his porch, slamming his front door behind him.
Invigorated, Josh dropped the hosepipe and laughed. Nathan’s yelling had alerted several figures to appear in the windows along the street. Everyone had seen the incident, but what did it matter? Josh drew in a gigantic refreshing breath of air and bowed deeply to all of them. With a reputation as bad as his around here, he had nothing to lose. Perhaps that had been Nathan’s biggest mistake from the start.
“We could forget all about the plan?” Max suggested as a naked, thoroughly satisfied 250lb Josh rested his head against his powerful chest in bed a few weeks later. “We could just sell up and leave here together. Nathan and his family wouldn’t be our problem anymore.”
Josh sighed. Max’s offer was everything he longed for and more. Calling Max his own was a dream he could hardly dare to imagine. Falling in love had felt like the most natural thing in the world and both of them were open about having never experienced anything like it before. With the pair having lost their parents at such a young age, they knew the value of their bond and the importance of cherishing the shared love that they had. But it wasn’t time to give into it just yet. There was too much hurt and trauma to make amends for. 
“Are you getting closer?” Josh asked him. “Whatever case or evidence you’re trying to gather against Nathan’s family?”
Max was quiet. “I think so,” he whispered, intertwining his fingers between Josh’s and admiring his chubby little hands. “The fatter Nathan gets, the more his family seems desperate for me not to leave him. It’s as if they admire me for sticking around. They trust me.”
“Good,” Josh replied. “That’s exactly what we need.”
“So, we’re seeing this one out, all the way to the end?” Max asked him, still quietly hopeful that they could run away together instead.
Josh raised himself up and grabbed the can of spray cream he had kinkily brought into the bedroom with them so that he could lick it off Max’s perfect body. “Of course we are,” he smiled, tilting his head back and pumping the cream down his throat, just like the fat boy inside him had always longed to do. By the time he had finished, he looked down and saw Max’s hardness had been resurrected and amplified tenfold. It was always that greedy, gluttonous, independent side of Josh that the man seemed to admire most. “Besides...” he grinned, starting to stimulate Max’s erection as he climbed on top and grabbed the man’s hands until they rested upon his fleshy love handles, “...I haven’t made that bastard fat enough yet!”
A thoroughly reinvigorated Max growled with lust, flipping the fat boy over and reversing their positions. He reached for the spray cream, grinning from ear to ear as he made love to him for the third time that night, filling Josh’s mouth with fluffy cream, one squirt at a time.
Nathan had started to upset a couple of folks on the street over the next few weeks; his true colours coming through at long last. Josh had thought things were going wrong for Nathan the moment he had tried to get Josh charged for assault and battery after the water hose incident. Despite all the many witnesses in the windows, not one of the neighbors had corroborated Nathan’s claims about the incident. Even Mr Gomez’s security cameras had bizarrely deleted the footage for that entire day. At the time, Josh had simply assumed that Max had called in a couple of favors as he desperately scrambled to discreetly assert some damage control, purely for Josh’s sake. Josh had denied everything to the police, just as Max had advised him to (once he had stopped laughing). However, it seemed once one of Nathan’s lies had been unpicked, more followed as the gossiping neighbors began to compare notes. A re-evaluation had been going on in the street and it seemed as if Josh had suddenly become worthy enough to wave to once more. It was all too little too late in Josh’s opinion, returning only a frosty raised hand in response.
Kelly had tried to muscle her way back into his life, without a word of explanation as to why she had barely spoken a word to Josh in months. She knew she was on thin ice, not daring to comment on how much weight Josh had been piling on in the time that had passed. Instead, she simply launched back into all the tasty bits of gossip Josh had missed out on whilst ostracised; discussing none more so than Nathan.
“I think they’re going to split, him and Max,” Kelly rambled as Josh dug in his winter flowering mix, barely listening to her. “He’s well over three and twenty hundred pounds! They don’t even sleep together anymore!” she whispered. “He lost his job for lying to them. He was trying to poach clients for his family’s business! Derek heard all about it. He said you’ve never heard language like it than when they caught him in the act!”
Josh smirked, having heard all about it from Max over two weeks ago. Kelly was so behind the times!
“He’ll never get another desk job again,” Kelly determined. “He’s just living off poor Max. Although, who the hell knows what he sees in him? Personally, I never liked the man!”
Josh chuckled to himself at the lie, declining the invite to join them in the yoga class that week. That ship had sailed. Even after the neighbors had backed him up with the police, it was likely more about teaching Nathan a lesson than it was about Josh himself. He had seen who his real friends were, and Kelly was not amongst them. Instead, he took himself back inside, excited to get started on a new recipe he had found that morning.
“Something smells nice!” Max whispered later, his hands wrapping around Josh’s thick waist as he stood at the stove. “Your famous chocolate fudge sauce?”
“With extra butter…” Josh teased him back.
“Mmm…” Max mumbled; his hardness pressing into Josh’s large, round rear. “You’re such a bad boy!”
“You know it!” Josh grinned, letting Max’s horny hands travel all over his vast blubbery exterior and into his underwear, warming him up like only Max could. He’d never been as fat as this in his whole life, but life as an average height, 320lb man was suiting him just fine. In Max’s arms he felt sexy and confident; a precious being to be loved and admired. He leaned his  head back into Max’s chest as the man’s hands stimulated his hardness perfectly, making him moan softly as he stirred the sauce.
“And the best part is,” Max whispered, “this fudge mix is all for you. Nathan has gone back to his parents’ place for a few days. That means, he’s going to be there when they’re all arrested tonight. Every last one of them!”
“How?” Josh asked, his face beaming with surprise and shock as he turned to face his lover.
“I finally managed to copy daddy’s hard drive,” Max smirked, raising his big arms over Josh’s shoulders and kissing him sweetly. “There’s stuff on there that implicates them all. Serious stuff!”
“Will they know it was you who passed it onto the police?” Josh asked next, a little concerned.
“Not a chance!” Max grinned triumphantly; his hands now mindlessly rubbing Josh’s giant glutes. “Although, maybe you think I should lay low in your house for a few days, just to be safe, huh?” he joked, clearly aroused by their sudden good fortune. He pulled off his t-shirt and flexed his pecs in the way Josh most enjoyed.
“I like that idea!” Josh smiled back excitedly.
“Oh, yeah?” Max smirked, handling his large glutes and bouncing them in the way that made them wobble the most. “Do you think you’re ready to have a big, strong man around the house all the time? Pampering you as much as he can?” he whispered, kissing his neck passionately.
The fudge sauce was catching on the bottom and burning. Already it was ruined. But what did it matter? Max would never deny him anything he wanted. Josh would whip up some more and consume it in front of him, even as his clothes got ever smaller. Finally, he could be the greedy boy he always was inside, and with a man who had a great track record of keeping his boys well fed. 
Hatred had brought them to each other, but it was love that would keep them together, no matter what came next.
“Have you met the new neighbors?” asked Sandra, watching as Max’s truck pulled into his new driveway.
“I popped over yesterday,” nodded Helen, quietly admiring the strapping Max as he got out of his truck, waving to them politely before reaching back in and grabbing a couple of boxes of pizzas from his passenger seat. “He’s certainly very handsome! And incredibly charming!” she admitted, watching Max’s strong glutes as the muscular man strutted into his new home, ready to surprise his husband.
“The other one seemed very nice too,” Sandra commented next, clearly holding back on something.
“Yes, very sweet,” agreed Helen. “If you like that sort of thing. He manages their construction business, you know. Josh does all the admin from home. Max does all the physical side of things.”
“Perhaps that’s why that one is so…” Sandra hinted.
“Yes, perhaps,” Helen nodded. “Although you do get some men who like that sort of thing,” she added, as if knowingly.
“I don’t doubt it,” Sandra chuckled. “Why else would a strapping man like that marry an enormous boy like that? I’d have a fit if one of my children tried to bring home a fat blob like him!”
“Quite right,” Helen agreed. “He must be at least four hundred pounds!”
“Oh, at least!” Sandra echoed. “Disgusting!” 
“I saw them in their front yard the other night whilst the handsome one was digging up the flower beds. He couldn’t keep his hands off the fat one! I had to close the curtains in the end. No one wants to see that!”
The pair sighed with a muted longing. They’d already made their minds up about Josh. He wasn’t going to be one of them, and they’d certainly let him know that in time. However, they could all quietly envy him for the rest of their days, able to eat whatever he wanted and keep the attention of a man who would never stray. The man who didn’t need their approval, nor the expected, tedious, married, middle class lifestyle the others here had secretly tired of many years earlier.
Bullies could be found everywhere. They came in all shapes and sizes, encrusted within every walk of life and every last neighborhood there had ever been. But inside that house of warmth, love and acceptance, Josh and Max would never fail to outlast them all.
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exhuastedpigeon · 17 days
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Personally, I hope Eddie gets a whole Eddie Begins Again episode that starts with him in confession/at the church talking to The Hot Priest™ about his childhood and we get a flashback to little preteen Eddie and his best friend and Eddie clearly has a crush but doesn't understand it.
Back in present day we see Eddie talking with the team about crushes because Denny has one and Hen talks about her first crush being on her best friend in middle school. Bobby's was on a girl from camp. Chim's was on a celebrity. Buck's was on his kindergarten teacher. Eddie hesitates and says his was on his best friend too and everyone looks at him sympathetically because Eddie has said Shannon was his best friend before.
Then we get a flashback of him meeting Shannon and being smitten with her, but we also see him and Best Friend having a sleepover and we see Eddie's face get a little pinched (you know the look) when best friend talks about his crush on a girl and then Eddie puts on that mask we see him wear all the time and starts talking about Shannon because he is infatuated with her and it's easier to focus on that than on how he feels for Best Friend.
Then we get more talk with the priest and maybe with Bobby and maybe even a call with Chris where Chris asks who best friend was because he found Eddie's old yearbook and they looked really close in the baseball team candid pictures.
We get a flashback to Eddie at Church and the priest talking about how gay people go to hell because it's a sin. Then after church in the basement eating donuts Eddie overhears his mom and another mom talking about how sad it is that Donna Lopez's son is a queer.
Another call, this one at an engagement party for two women. Eddie is again extremely competent and Buck slaps him on the shoulder with a laugh and says something about Eddie not having to worry about being hit on at a lesbian engagement party.
Eddie flashes back again this time to enlisting and telling best friend before he tells Shannon. Then we get a moment where Eddie is really close with a few guys in the Army. Then we get him and Shannon fighting between tours and Eddie going to best friends house to find that he's there with his new fiance and Eddie laughs and says he's there to congratulate them. He cries in the car outside his house and it's clear he doesn't understand why he's so upset - is it that he's overwhelmed with life? Is it that he and Shannon are fighting? Is it that he feels like a failure? Is it because best friend is engaged? Is it all of it?
We get a call at a gay wedding them (because it's all very on the nose) and Eddie is competent as always. He gets a guys number and then we flash back to Eddie's first time out in L.A. where a guy hit on him and Eddie turned him down by saying he was married.
Back in present day he and Buck are drinking beers at Buck's loft and Eddie has the same soft look he always has when he looks at Buck, but then we see him tense for a moment like he's realized something. When he leaves he goes back to the church and finally tells Hot Priest™ the thing that Eddie buried so deep that it took decades to uncover - He thinks God hates him and bad things happen to him because he's had thoughts about men. He's loved men. He loved Shannon, he always will love Shannon, but she's the only woman he ever loved, but he's loved more than one man.
Hot Priest (who is still catholic) says that God doesn't hate anyone and God doesn't punish people for thoughts and that having those thoughts isn't a sin, but acting on them would be.
Eddie shuts down for a second and then we see a flashback to Eddie meeting Karen and wine nights with Hen and Karen. We see him bitching at Josh but fondly. We see Buck Buck Buck everywhere, bathed in golden light. Eddie stands up and thanks the priest, but says he doesn't think he'll be back.
As he walks out of the church it's Eddie's turn to be bathed in golden light of the setting sun. His phone rings and it's Chris telling him he wants to come home. Eddie smiles and the episode ends with him shaving off the moustache and booking a flight to Texas. He's got a kid to reunite with and then he's got some stuff to talk to Buck and Bobby and Hen and maybe even Chim about.
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