#conjoined abomination look

[quinneleanor]

It's interesting to think about the world of siblings who are pressed together by trauma. No, fused. They are fused together. Like Sam and Dean. Their ribcages are interlocked; their flesh is melted. Conjoined. You don't know where one brother's spine begins and the other ends. Their bones rub against with each rattling, communal breath. It's that kind of closeness that's a tad bit frightening. I wonder what it looks like to the ones on the outside. The ones who live outside their fucked up, teeth-shattering codependent coupling. Their veiled abomination.

Must be scary.

[breezybeej]

The Emergent Narrative in Elden Ring

I've been wanting to talk about this since I met brother Corhyn but I waited because I wanted to see how far my story would carry me. And the answer was all the way. Warning that I will be spoiling some major plot points in the game.

I started Elden Ring with next to no knowledge of the plot. I had watched zero videos, read zero synopses, nothing. At the character creation screen, I said, "I want to walk into this with a backstory." I saw that confessor was a starting class and came up with one very easily:

A woman of mid-high rank in a religious order. The high priests falsely accused her of heresy and had her burned alive. That inspired this appearance. Meet Estrelle:

I fell in love with this look so hard that the only headgear I ever wore was the commoner's headband. I wanted to see this.

So I enter The Lands Between. I am told of the Elden Lord and what needs to be done to deliver these lands from their current catastrophe.

One of the first things I find is a book of prayers. I take it to a priest named Corhyn. The prayers turn out to be heresy against the dominant religion (the Golden Order is the presiding power). I am immediately hooked because my character was accused of the same in my own made up backstory. So I immediately start exploring what counts as heresy in these lands because if my own order could be led astray, could not the Golden Order?

After some time, I meet Miriel who is a pastor of divine wisdom. He hits me with this line which was nothing short of absolution:

"Heresy is not native to the world; it is but a contrivance. All things can be conjoined."

From here on, all heretical writings were brought to Miriel because I know he will teach without judgment.

As the game progressed, I learned more of the Golden Order, of how the church maintained a social hierarchy alongside the royalty in the capital city of Leyendell. One thing to know about the lands between is that it grows more destitute the farther away from the capital you travel. The Fringelands, they are called, where societies become so desperate for change that they enact abominations upon themselves and others in the hopes of finding a power that can unseat the current Lord.

It turns out that most of these religions--but primarily the Golden Order--answer to the Greater Will which is a mysterious eminence beyond understanding which bequeaths power to those deemed fit to hold the title of Lord etc etc. Allegedly, only a select few understand the machinations of the Greater Will. Estrelle had heard all this before. Hogwash, we'll call it.

So the seed is planted in my mind. The social hierarchy needs to be overturned and the influence of the Greater Will needs to be cut off.

That's when I met Ranni the Witch. As it turns out, she had some similar ideas to me. She was selected as Lord-worthy but she wants nothing to do with that. She wants the Lands to be without a lord. Through her, I discover it is possible to kill the ones who are enacting the Greater Will's manipulations. All I have to do is carve a path for her.

So I do. During all this, I also discover that the loss of Death in this realm can be undone. That the strange immortality that many experience can be cut off. So I can simultaneously bring back the concept of mortality and end the meddling of an outside entity and destroy the societal constructs that are causing so much inequality.

And then something magical happens. You see, my primary companion has been a woman named Melina. She tells me that, in order to progress, she will have to sacrifice herself to the fires of creation. I am saddened at this news but she seems determined. I know how horrendous death by fire is. This young woman does not deserve this fate.

But someone tells me there's another way. I have to explore this if I can save Melina. I learn of the Frenzied Flame. It represents chaos. I go through hell to find this flame and an the way, I find one of the most powerful images in the game. One of the lowly wretches, one who follows the frenzy, one who is emaciated, blind, poor, and-- to the understanding of the Order--unable to experience grace, is playing an instrument. He is sitting on a ledge and playing a mournful tune and I sit and listen to him for a long while. This man in the middle of all the strife and chaos is creating something beautiful. I am determined to put an end to the Golden Order. The meek shall inherit.

I press on into the lair of the Frenzied Flame and I'm shocked to learn that it is one of the agents of the Greater Will, though it is not connected to the others, it seems. So I enact a plan. I ally myself with the frenzied flame because I need it to spare Melina an excruciating death. I do not intend to maintain this allegiance. There is a cost, however. The flame engulfs my body and I think "I was killed by fire, I know this pain and I can withstand it."

Melina, upon learning of this, believes I have thrown my hat in with a force that will ruin the world. She abandons me but that is fine as long as she lives. So I use the flame to gain access to the inner realms of the kingdom (which involves me, once again, sacrificing myself to fire.) My character is covered in scars from the repeated burnings. I look like this now:

Something interesting happened, though, when I severed my connection with the frenzied flame. Something subtle that had no impact on the literal narrative of the game but which made me lose my mind. Estrelle's vision was restored.

By sacrificing herself through the frames of frenzy and then again to access the inner realms, by choosing to submit to fire to save her friend, Estrelle found herself with her useless eye renewed.

Quite literally, she could see what needed to be done. This was a sign, not from God, not from the Greater Will, not from any holy text, but from within her own body, her own soul.

Along the way, she discovered an ability. In game terms, it was the Inescapable Frenzy incantation but essentially you grab someone by the head and forcibly make eye contact with them and your force of will drives them to insanity. The description of this ability reads:

"To gaze into one another's eyes is truly the most intimate form of human contact."

One of the last obstacles in my way was someone determined to maintain, even increase, the influence of the Golden Order. When Estrelle grabbed him and looked into his eyes, when she opened wide both windows into her soul, it overwhelmed this tiny man and his understanding of the world and he fucking died.

I was fucking losing my mind at this point. All of this storyline was happening because of a random decision I made to come up with an arbitrary backstory that was created before I knew any of the game's plot.

I carry on with the game and finally defeat the current Elden Lord. From here, unfortunately, I have to choose one ending. Either Ranni's path or the path of restoring death to the lands. In my heart, I know that both things happen though in the 'canon' only one does.

And this is how I ended Elden Ring. Someone who died in flames at the hand of religious abuse proudly bearing the molten scars of repeated fiery sacrifice to free The Lands Between from the influence of 'gods' who do no more than subjugate the poor and unfortunate.

There are so many other connections in the game to this backstory but this post would be like 4 times longer if I tried to go through all of it and most of them are not as Holy Shit Big as these were.

[xenons-auxiliary-depths]

Phantasm Alignment Chart

There are twelve alignments which phantasms can follow when they are first born in the spirit world. Whilst those with no alignment are more common, those with an alignment are usually significantly stronger than average.

ORSoM's ICMI have investigated this phenomenon and found various commonalities of phantasms with certain alignments, which amounts to the following:

I. Juno - usually, phantasms of this alignment take on a light motif, surrounding themselves with bright stars or white, ethereal flames. They are what amounts to a usually "angelic" sort of phantasm.

II. Libra - phantasms of this alignment tend to use more physical attacks than most. Appearance varies widely.

III. Metis - interestingly, these sorts of phantasm have evolved over time to reflect how information is kept in storage, with physical appearance reflecting how often said methods are used.

IV. Haumea - these phantasms are usually feminine in appearance, and often lure the easily tempted to their demise.

V. Iris - phantasms of this alignment are often brightly colored, iridescent, and aesthetically pleasing in appearance. These sorts of phantasm have appeared in art pieces the most often out of the 12 alignments.

VI. Ceres - these phantasms often appear as plants or plant-like beings, with flowers being a common motif.

XII. Hades - this alignment is most often shadowy in appearance, with burning, seething black flames also being common.

XI. Nemesis - in contrast to those of the Hades alignment, Nemesis-aligned phantasms are usually scarlet in coloration, with flames being ubiquitous among them. Colloquially named "the angry."

X. Eris - described as "uncanny abominations," Eris-aligned phantasms are surreal-looking monsters, often wailing in pain and having multiple or conjoined body parts of all sorts. Chaotic and dangerous.

IX. Saturn - these phantasms are often emaciated or almost skeletal in appearance. Slowly shambling or hovering along, they often have a high amount of endurance despite their decrepit look.

VIII. Ploutos - often gilded in gold and other precious metals, taking on the shape of sculptures. The precious metals lining their bodies invariably disappear after their defeat.

VII. Atropos - appear most often as withered plant-like beings, or wheels of fortune, slot machines, and other devices used for gambling. Phantasms of the latter type lure the vulnerable with the promise of free money, food, or water, and those lured are invariably attacked.

I. Juno, the Ruler. Embodiment of the foundation, and of fresh beginnings.

"In the beginning, Man sought guidance to build themselves up to new heights. They sought to lead themselves to a great future of their own design."

II. Libra, Balance. Embodiment of fairness, and of calm mind.

"Man tempered itself to balance its existence, whether that be of their virtues and vices, or of their natural upbringing and their forging of the future."

III. Metis, Knowledge. Embodiment of learning, truth, and scholars.

"As it grew, Man sought knowledge of all aspects of Creation, so that they could better follow the path to their future."

IV. Haumea, Creation. Embodiment of fertility.

"Man proliferated across the surface of the Earth, growing ever more as they journeyed through time."

V. Iris, Beauty. Embodiment of the arts, and of aesthetic beauty.

"They created things of their own image, and of the world around them, appreciating its beauty."

VI. Ceres, the Harvest. Embodiment of bountifulness, and of plenty.

"And they also made sure to feed themselves so that they all enjoyed the lives they forged forevermore."

VII. Atropos, Fate. Embodiment of destiny, and of the uncaringness of nature.

"And yet, it was the nature of Man to begin to wither away at its foundations, so that life grew more perilous."

VIII. Ploutos, Greed. Embodiment of excessiveness, and of opulence.

"The beauty that they made became perverted enough so that it only showed the hollow vanity of those prominent among them."

IX. Saturn, the Passage of Time. Embodiment of old age.

"And as time wore on, the greatest among them began to fall away from the mortal plane."

X. Eris, Discord. Embodiment of ignorance, and of the loss of the truth.

"The wayward paths that some created for themselves began to intersect and clash with each other, and it seemed that the future they once forged themselves toward became lost in the dust."

XI. Nemesis, Judgment. Embodiment of retribution, and of revenge and anger.

"They began to use their emotions as guiding lanterns, and this led to yet more strife amongst their kind."

XII. Hades, the Dying Flame. Embodiment of death, and of the ashes from which spring new beginnings.

"In the beginning, Man sought guidance to build themselves up to new heights. They sought to lead themselves to a great future of their own design. And yet, at the end always awaits the looming spectre of Death, of the end of their path.

With my guiding flame, I shall guide them through a new path; a new future where my eternal guidance shall guide them to salvation."

[ursbearhug]

Don't you just love when people who clearly never did something, try to pose off as if they did?

In this particular situation a man that clearly has never picked up Aristotle's work, will be making a jab at it without knowing it's context.

Now, I have only worked on parts of Nicomachean Ethics during my philosophy classes, which by the way, rant alert;

It really pisses me the fuck off that my old university was creating problems. On one hand we didn't have enough classes and subjects to fill the quota, so they created multiple, fill-in, trash courses with 0 value to fill the gaps. But on the OTHER HAND, we never had anything important or useful in the full 30 hours (which, I think, is one semester worth of classes). There was multiple subjects being split in two (like having greek poetry in 15 hours and one third of roman poetry in another 15 hours, because it's impossible to cover all in 15 hours. Heck, I'm quite certain that you'd need more than 30 hours to cover greek poetry alone, which would lay ground for roman one, quite possibly also taking up more than one semester) or multiple subjects being conjoined and creating Frankenstein's monster abominations (like, let's talk about rhetoric in 15/15 split. What's the split? Bitch I took the entire course, I have no goddamn fucking clue. Or let's take quasi, blink and you miss it, literary critic classes that vaguely relate to classical field. Or better yet let's attempt at subject discussing greek and roman religious profile that, some-fucking-how, always reverted to Nazism because that makes sense). So I'm really looking forward to see what's the deal on the new univeristy.

So yeah, in my not even 15 hours speedrun course on philosophy we've read on parts of this particular work. It was also one of the prerequisite for final exams and a lot of the questions on oral exam were about that hot mess. I don't remember most of it because, well duh, it's been months ago, but even now I remember reading it and scratching my head in confusion. Whether you read it in native translation or read it in original attic greek, I can assure you, you're gonna be fucking struggling.

Ancient greeks favourite ways of complicating most basic sentences, going balls to the walls on flowery language nobody fucking asked for, and structuring sentences like a dipshit cause they thought it made them look smart aside, philosophical works in particular are quite notorious for being convoluted. You can read Plato's Feast, or Symposium, and think for a split second he actually respected women or worse yet, think that relationships (in particular, platonic ones) were about being with somebody who's fulfilling your emotional, social and Aphroditical needs. Or read Phaedrus and think Plato respected anything or anybody beyond his spankbank material Socrates. Classical students have these to get in the known of contemporary culture and philosophy and also hone their reading comprehension (as funny as that may sound), but I won't be lying to you by saying they go in-depth into analysing them. For one, they rarely have time to do so in collegium, so it's really on them if they're interested. Secondly, throwing freshmen into this absolute cesspool of a syntax nightmare fuel is tad cruel.

So I'm gonna be tad harsh and say, that I don't believe an idiot, probably frat bro, journalist, who most definitely didn't take any classes on either ancient greek culture or philosophy, or basic readings of fruits of said culture and philosophy, might be best equipped to comment on said works. Especially when he aspires to write, what I can assume is, a pastiche or maybe a full on diss on the political left.

Because Aristotle's work was explaining to you how to be a good human. It's not very clear or good tutorial, seeing that's where the infamous 'your worth is the work you do' line comes from. Beside that his Ethics, under no circumstances, can be equated to Bible, Quran, Torah or whatever else you can think of. Now I'm familiar with both old and new testament, to varying degree, and completely unfamiliar with the rest so I'm not gonna be talking about their content, but Ethics and the bible; these two don't really criss cross. For one one of these works is coming from chrsitians/god hands and the other comes from tad delusional and paid sociopath. This means that in contents, one is considered a commandments and lessons and second is supposed to be educational work for self betterment.

But I know what was the point. "Oh look, the left wants us to live in the world where all great works of human mind, showing you how to live will be eradicated! How will I be able to tell good from bad without using my criticial thinking skills?!". It's like, good point in the vacuum, if we try our hardest to ignore what right is cosntantly doing with books and the contents they do not agree with, but holds little water if you take him seriously. Societies built on Ethics or worse yet, Republic by Plato, would absolutely not work well, under no fucking circumstances. World is not doing well when it is driven by what is in the bible. There were other works mentioned as well but I don't care enough to look. The point is, he's being delusional and insane.

The core problem is obviously that he's talking about the pieces of literature he clearly has never read, let alone understand. It takes a brain and a half to understand what Aristotle was on about sometimes, so it's fair to assume an imbecile posing as 'central', but actually being as far right as it is humanly possible, who haven't read them in parts or in full, might not be best person to talk how the content is or is not good fundamentals for society to live off of. This doesn't come lightly to me, but, I think Aristotle was right in saying that it is only human to keep striving for the goodness. But this nutjob also thought of shite like "people who are not engaging in political life are waste" or "if you don't do work for society you're worthless kill yourself you emo kid kbye" (which is might ironic considering that being philosopher was really rich people shit. And it was really do fuck all kind of job. Some people will bring Diogenes and Socrates into this and you have to understand that these really were outliers).

So my point is; if you're not educated on the matter, maybe don't drag dead people and their work across filth behind you for no reason. I have 0 doubts the guy has never read any of these "great works" and, if any, has only bare and vague understating about their contents.

Also it feels weird for a probably (or definitely) racists white guy to bring out asian holy texts. You could argue he read greek works because they're so ingrained in the European culture, but you're not convincing me he has ever done any work to understand Asian culture or how their philosophies and religions work. This guy has the same understanding of buddhism as I have for quantum physics, except, I'm not making a clown of myself by publishing low quality, trash and filthy book showing off how uneducated I am.

Also also Plato fans and stans are not welcome here. This is Anti Plato blog. And Plato fans can fucking suck it and die.

[ask-the-shorty-squad]

Thats horrifying... This better not be based on true events or I'm never getting to sleep!

So, what happens next...?

"One autumn, when the girls are eleven, an old man, who speaks only Spanish, takes the twins into a large, orange van and drives them to their new home."

"Dillard and Fullerton's Illusive and Illogical Traveling Show is the 12th largest touring circus in North America. Former insurance salesman, Dillard and Fullerton distinguish their enterprise by procuring the most shocking specimen of the grotesque and unusual. Their small administrative staff works tirelessly to combat legal actions and public allegations of animal cruelty and human slave trafficking."

"Life in the circus is harder than their time at the Underwood. There is always work to be done. In addition to their chores of laundry and sweeping, Mr. Dillard insists that the twins spend many hours each day practicing their act. The girls are frightened of the clowns, several of whom, by amazing coincidence, also happen to be their uncles."

"But still, overall these early days at the circus are a happy time for the twins."

"Every night to the delight of audiences across the country, the girls appear in the center ring, singing and strumming the ukulele, at the top of Bimba and Kimba - the world's only known conjoined twin Siamese elephants."

"The twins feel they have found true soul mates in Bimba and Kimba, who they affectionately refer to as 'Elephant, Elephant'. This special bond is reciprocated by the pachyderms, who fondly nuzzle the girls with their trunks and seem to delight in giving them rides. The twins and the elephants are inseparable."

"With the help of Alphonso de Arresting, the animal trainer, the twins tend to the elephants, feeding them and grooming them daily."

"But one terrible August morning, Bimba and Kimba refuse to take their food. Due to the unsanitary conditions of their quarters and an improper diet of popcorn and cotton candy, the elephants have contracted a rare form of elephantine diphtheria compounded by early-onset Alzheimer's disease."

"For the next two weeks can only stand by helplessly, as their companions become sicker and weaker and begin displaying obvious signs of memory loss. The last few days are almost unbearable. With Bimba and Kimba's confused, sad eyes looking up at the girls with great anguish, but no hint of recognition."

"And on one, grim, September day. The sisters' 16th birthday, Elephant Elephant dies. The funeral is held the same day. A grizzly affair at an industrial trash compactor behind a Home Depot in Fort Dodge Iowa."

"The twins are devastated. Without Bimba and Kimba life is but a terrible and meaningless void. They resign themselves to living out the rest of their hollow existence in solemn mourning."

"The emotionally exhausted sisters fall from favor within the circus."

"No longer willing to sing and play their ukulele, the girls are dressed in a pink tutu and forced to balance on the giant red ball, an impossible task for the conjoined sisters. The audience roars with laughter each time they awkwardly fall."

"Their discomfort is increased by a pair of radical groups who have taken an interest in the twins. Every night in most major cities, protesters assemble, nosily waving signs and chanting slogans in front of the Box Office."

"The first faction claims to represent an organization called 'FASSEN' - the Foundation for Always Separating Siamese Twins Everywhere Now."

"Citing the bible, FASSEN members vehemently believe that it is the will of the Lord that all conjoined twins be separated and allowed to live individual lives. Wielding symbolical surgical saws and blunt carving knives, FASSEN members jibe the ticket buyers for supporting the abomination of god."

"The second group operates under the acronym SPLIT - the Society for the Preservation of Linked Identical Twins."

"A reactionary organization, working to discredit the claims of FASSEN, SPLIT believes that conjoined twins will play a critical role in the second coming of Christ."

"The twins are terrified by both groups - the knives and saws make them very nervous and SPLIT members make threats to kidnap the girls and take them to where they will be kept safe in a place of darkness until the rapture."

"One day before a Sunday matinee in Sacramento, a chaotic brawl erupts between the two factions and one FASSEN member gets alarmingly close to the twins with a hacksaw. Stricken with fear, the sisters decide that they are no longer safe at the circus."

"That night, they make a resolution - to leave the Dillard and Fullerton traveling show. Forever"

[the-ghoul-remains]

Cont. From here. @furiousfates​

A SINGLE GLANCE WAS ALL he spared towards his former superior, quickly turning a shoulder to the woman to look the other way. ‘ WHERE’S THE GHOUL? ‘ Black Reaper found himself pondering, not willing to F U L L Y turn his back to Mado - a part of himself (perhaps) unreasonably paranoid. There was no knowing what exactly went in her head, but she was cold. Well, colder than U S U A L , at the very least.

“I am not an asset to be concerned about. Human life takes priority.” He remarked, two conjoined tails mocking a serpent’s slithering form sprouted from the uncovered part of his skin-tight undershirt, shifting past the black coat. Abomination mouths snapped its teeth at the air, whipping its tongues in the air.

IT TRIED SPEAKING, keen ears would be able to pick up on stray words wheezed by the kagune. “ H E L P “ , “ S H E “ , and even “ P R O T E C T “ . Reaper didn’t need no braindead ghoul organ to order him around, having fully intended on providing support to Mado by him. Keeping his eyes peeled at their surroundings, the kagune tendril-like tails perked to the level of his head, keeping a few twitching eyes around while he stepped closer to Akira.

“I caught it’s scent, Mado-san. I can trail it later, but what I C A N N O T do is L E A V E you behind.”

[border-spam]

Maw is rlly good but I personally like the idea of Troy having his skag-mouth as a birth defect from Tyreen leeching him in the womb. Makes for more sibling/family drama, which I inhale like a gas-huffer.

I’m here for drama, yesss. Would actually love to see this idea being used! There is so much there for doing juicy shit with the twins, at the end of the day, both of the nasty little shits are abominations from a galactic power standpoint, so why not go wild with the monster aspect, eh?

My own worldbuilding brain is funky though. Part of why I enjoy doing dives into characters and lore so much, is that I love finding ways to make things make sense, and Troy existing at all in Borderlands does not make any.

So something lots of folks mentioned pre-release was that if the twins were going to be conjoined, they would have to be the same sex. It’s just not medically feasible to have xy/xx conjoined twins as they come from the same embryo split in two but not fully. The only option was they could be chimeric but that didn’t really suit what we were seeing either.

I remember that causing a wave cause holy shit, were we going to get a trans villain and could anyone trust GB to handle that without it being a trainwreck? I’m still happy they used word of god instead cause oof. I don’t want to think of how that could have gone down considering how both these characters ended up being used within the plot anyway. 

That means my smooth, analytically obsessed brain has to come up with other explanations for the absolute fuckery that is the Calypso twins and how the hell they exist in the first place when they couldn’t have formed conjoined, and that’s one of the reasons I couldn’t use this kind of extra fun shit like a natural monster mouth being why it’s so heavily modded. I needed to try and fix Troy so he... made sense to me. 

Bit of a medical dive into the absolute state of this man under the cut:

We end up with two fraternal twins.

Not identical in the slightest and very noticeable about that in their appearance. It’s not just the height difference, Tyreen’s undercut is dark brown, not Troy’s inky black. Their facial shapes vary massively and not just due to hormones, Ty’s eyes have a cheeky lil’ cat eye slope while Troy’s are sadder, leaning downwards at the outside curve. There’s very little to actually make them even look like siblings bar their colouration, but we still have what we know:

They were born conjoined, Troy had to be cut from Tyreen, and that’s likely why he has one arm.

Keep in mind his arm is literally never mentioned once in BL3. Not ONCE. No one ever references the twin’s childhoods bar Troy, so we actually have no idea if the arm loss is even related to being conjoined. 

We just all HC’d that as a fandom with no evidence, not even a hint of information regarding this was provided and I think that’s something we forget about often enough as it’s so widely accepted Troy was born without his right arm. Actually strange to think about that, ain’t it?

But I’m rambling - so, I figured we have two fraternal twins, sharing some kind of horrific all consuming monster entity power between them. One can do fuck all bar embarrass himself and faint, and the other can’t STOP her power functioning to the point she can’t touch anything without consuming it.. so my idiot worldbuilding brain says “Hey. Well, that’s clearly what happened then. They were in the same womb, she started to consume him.” Logic. 

Logic works for me, so it stuck. 

Made sense that it’s how he’s a Siren at all when the entire cosmos has said Sirens are women, he’s one because the power that was consuming him filled his little body enough to see him as itself, so it stopped - leaving the developing twins joined, and half of Troy’s torso lost to Tyreen.

I can’t justify much else to my fact hungry thought processes, the skag mouth wouldn’t work for me because I can’t fit it in, him being a natural Siren doesn’t work for me cause it can’t fit either, but it does open an avenue of logic for my brain to start following down, and that’s why in Leech Lord, Troy is so desperately unwell. 

Growing up barely having survived being consumed in utero is not going to go very well when you’ve no medical assistance living on a shitty little dirthole planet with your dad.

Damaged organs from The Leech feeding as he grew, out of wack hormones ravaging a body that couldn’t really regulate them correctly in puberty leading to massive growth spurts and bone structure issues, no proper nutrition, starving half the time as his size outpaced the amount of food he and Typhon could scavenge, it all comes together into a very delicate health balance. 

We already know Troy is very unwell at times from what we see ingame, it made sense to me, so I ran with this line. 

He’s sick when he doesn’t want to be, he’s weak when it’s an embarrassment to the character role he’s playing. He covers himself in tattoos and aggressive mods to try and combat looking delicate, so he can lie to himself that he’s not pitiful and bolster his fragile ego. The massive, hulking prosthetic is there to MAKE you look at it. A way of proving how unashamed he is of the damage to his right side, and it works. 

The gullible believe, the stupid remain easy to control, and billions see him as a God, rather than the truth - that he’s a very sick, very delicate man.

A lot of what I do with Troy is there to support the underlaying character I’ve tried to write for him in some desperate attempt to try and make the bastard have some logical excuse to exist in the first place. 

If I’d gone down the route of having his Maw be something that wasn’t self inflicted, I would have gone off track with the direction I was taking him in, even though I am WEAK for that kind of monster level shit.. Mmm. 

I remember being asked:

Would troy have gotten the face mod if Seifa hadnt left?

[serendipitous-posts]

I see your Au’s where Klaus is the one with his powers suppressed and I raise you an Au where Ben’s power is the one suppressed

(May call this Cthulhu au? Sounds about right. I also somehow made Reginald worse??)

So, Reginald Hargeeves is a dick, but he’s also pragmatic, right? He doesn’t care for these kids, as long as they can live up to his expectations

He is absolutely determined for them all to reach their full potential, mental and physical safety be damned

So in this verse, he doesn’t give up on Vanya. He remains certain that he can control her and that she can control it

It takes a lot of time, but he’s persistent in his belief she can achieve greatness, which would be amazing virtue if he wasn’t such an abusive ass

The violin, he learns, helps a lot, helps hone her abilities and fine tune them to her advantage

The press love the little musician, with her big shiny eyes and careful nature and gentleness

You know who the press doesn’t like? Ben. Hates him actually. 

Or rather, they hate what is inside of him. They hate the Horror

(once, when ben was very young, he had tried to explain to three that he was the horror and the horror was him. like conjoined twins, but she had looked so disgusted that he had shut up)

Because it’s hard to spin a weird eldritch abomination that kills people into a positive light, and in the aftermath of every mission there’s always a group, growing louder and louder with each one, arguing that just because they were criminals doesn’t mean they should be murdered. That the Umbrella Academy were playing judge, jury and executioner when they shouldn’t, that they had no legal power and what were they doing?

An even smaller group, but potent in it’s ferocity, points out just how terrible it is, forcing a child to kill people

And normally Reginald would write it off, ignore it except-

Except he can’t ignore the way the Horror has been acting lately-hungry and aggressive and mad. But not towards the other kids, no. Towards him. He steps into the room and Ben’s skin starts crawling and twisting.

(if he didn’t know better, he would say it was trying to protect him)

And Hargreeves, as we see in season 2, is an experienced fighter, but he’s not going to kid himself. He knows he doesn’t stand a chance against the Horror. The only ones who might are his siblings

But, as he realises with horror, he doesn’t know if they would side with him against number 6.

Because Ben is the shy, quiet kind one. If he ordered them to kill them- Number One might do it, but the others? No, no way, he sees how they look at him sometimes, all quiet fuming hatred and anger and-

They’d probably try and kill him themselves

But they’re young, and easily manipulated so he starts - leaving suggestions really- makes them watch any videos of the Horror attacking, showing it’s rampage as Ben wilts before them all. Suggests 6 shouldn’t be near the cameras anymore because he’s too frightening. TV shows now have movies like Alien and documentaries about parasites that burrow under the skin

They see a hulk figurine in the store one day and he makes sure to tell One, loud enough for everyone to hear, that he’s not a hero, he’s a monster, because he can’t control his impulses

At the end of every mission, he finds a reason to critique the Horror and Ben and their brutalness, all the while sending them out to do so anyways

The Horror, perhaps sensing the amount of bullshit that is happening, grows worse, grows even more agitated over time

4 and 5 and 7 rally behind him, because 5 and 7 are his isolation buddies and 4 and him have been friends forever. But 1 and 2 and 3- they start to pull away, little by little

Because they believe that he’s going too far that their father may actually be right, at least on this, it is a little freaky, and it’s not just their father saying it, it’s everyone and they can’t all be lying

He makes them all sit in on Ben’s special training- killing a rabbit, and now Vanya starts to flinch whenever he comes into the room, stops inviting him to her recitals

(it’s not a coincidence that rabbits were her favourite animal)

Five stays loyal though, making a point of going with him to the libraries or talking to him about books he’s read. Ben’s- he’s paler now, even quieter, but he enjoys the company and the Horror always seems to settle down in his presence

Then Five disappears one day and never returns. 

Reginald is torn because on one hand- he’s one asset down and Five was always a very useful asset and very very clever but he always thought he was so clever, working around all of his rules

Vanya and Five were the closest and now she’s alone. And even though Vanya is one of the nicest people out there, she just lost her brother, and she needs someone to blame to lash out at and she remembers how Ben and Five would talk for hours about Five’s powers

She yells at him, screams at him that this is his fault, and Klaus tries to intervene but it doesn’t really work, because in this universe Vanya isn’t forgotten or ignored, she’s the most powerful and that comes with a certain amount of respect.

She’s more confident and sure of herself and she is sure that this is Ben’s fault

The Horror, sensing Ben’s stress, lashes out. It slams a tentacle down on the ground in front of her, causing her to scramble back, suddenly aware of the fact that she is in a room with someone who has a literal monster in his stomach

Diego walks in on Ben attacking their sister and immediately grabs his knife, stabbing into it and Ben howls, the tentacles sliding back under his skin

Diego is praised for his quick thinking, one of the few times his father ever compliments him and he holds it close to his chest

(she’ll realise her mistake much later of it not being Ben’s fault, but she doesn’t apologise, too scared of the Horror and what it could do to her)

(she full on avoids him now)

All that leaves in Klaus, but to be honest? He has his own issues to deal with. At first, he clings to Ben because he gets it, the absolute hatred you have to your powers

And Ben is so so so happy to have someone be there for him, someone who hates their abilities as much as he does. They comfort each other after their own personal lessons, talk about which powers they would like to have, how they would love to get rid of their powers entirely

And then Klaus does. Get rid of them. 

Well, kind of. Drugs as it turns out, cancels out his abilities. They learn this during a mission and he’s so happy. And Ben is so happy for him

Except . .  after a while, Klaus starts to pull away too, so caught up in the world of drugs and addiction and leaving him behind to deal with his own issues

He tries to confront him on it, but Ben was always the meekest of his siblings, and it doesn’t go well

“You’re just jealous” Klaus spits “you can’t turn off” he gestures towards Ben’s torso “that thing.”

All the while, the Horror is growing more and more agitated, squirming under his skin like an itch, stretching it and bruising it, awful and visible. His siblings, sickened by this display, start to avoid him, which just makes him agitated, which just makes the Horror agitated, which makes it more active, which makes his siblings avoid him more, rinse and repeat

(he can’t move, somedays, from the pain of it all, muscles stretched beyond their limit by the thing that should never be beneath a persons skin)

And then- and then, after a very bad mission, where his siblings had all looked away as he emerged bloody from another room, his father tells him he doesn’t have to do missions if he doesn’t want to

Holy hell. Holy fucking shit

This is- it’s- everything he has ever wanted since his first ever training exercise 

He says yes, of course

(The Horror hasn’t been this calm in years)

And he doesn’t have to go on missions anymore! He gets to stay home and read and be alone but in a good way and it is everything he has ever dreamed of and more

(in another room, their father announces that Ben is too dangerous to be allowed on missions anymore, and that he won’t be training with them anymore)

His siblings are torn between relief-that they won’t have to see another killing spree, and jealousy-because he doesn’t have to go on missions or have personal training

(none of them are relieved for ben, who always hated going on missions)

Klaus especially is jealous, and is snippy towards Ben for the remainder of the week, but he’s on cloud freakin’ nine, and he doesn’t really notice any of his sibling’s odd behaviour

But as time passes, Ben starts to feel more and more left out and excluded. The main reason why the siblings are so close is that they go on missions and train together, and Ben is no longer doing that.

He also notices that the others are . . . blaming him a lot. Even for things he didn’t do

“Why is there a hole in the wall?”

“Ben must have let the Horror out”

“You’re bringing an animal inside the house? Don’t let Ben see it”

It’s lonely, but the alternative is going back to training, and he would actually rather die. It’s just- he’s being selfish. The Horror is a monster (he is a monster) so it makes sense that others would think he was the one doing Bad Things

And Ben spent his entire life trying not to be a Bad Person, but everyone keeps saying that he is a Bad Person, and he isn’t sure what to do. Sometimes people recognise him on the streets, pull back, hide their kids, some the same age as him

(once Allison and Luther were with him when this happened, and they looked at the woman shielding her baby with something like-understanding? empathy? whatever it was, it made Ben’s stomach open, but not in a Horror way in a Bad Way)

He breaks down in tears, finds his mom in the middle of the night, feeling like a baby because he is fourteen years old and he shouldn’t be crying except this morning Diego had turned to Luther and asked “where’s the freak?” and Luther had grinned and said “Ben’s still in his room” and neither had realised he was standing behind them

(family scapegoat syndrome is a very serious thing.)

He goes to her, crying and wishing that it would just go away, that awful, awful monster in his body, why won’t it just die already?

Grace tries to comfort him, but Reginald knew this would one day happen, and put certain  . . things into her coding, things she can and can’t say.

She sits there and tells her son awful things about him and the thing that lives inside of him, a parasite, she is forced to call it, to call him

(and you may think Diego hates Reginald the most, but that title has, will and always shall belong to Grace)

“You’re disgusting” she tells her son and thinks of the man who made her

Ben wails, loud and strong, and the Horror responds to his horror, jumping to life and slamming into Grace and then Ben is screaming and he can hear his siblings footsteps, rapidly approaching, but he’s trying to get to his mom and-

He blacks out

He wakes back up in the infirmary, where Pogo is waiting for him. He explains how their mother is damaged, and will take a while to fix

He has to go about his day with Diego’s glare scorching his back. Breakfast is burnt porridge and milk.  The first chance he gets, Diego accosts him, knife missing by inches

“A-a-asshole!” He shouts, brandishing a knife “h-how could you?!”

“I didn’t mean to!” Ben squeaks, because he was always the shortest brother and his brother loves their mom and he hurt their mom and his brother is armed

“Diego stop” Vanya says, tugging on his arm “you’ll anger it”

Ben looks down to see his skin ripple and flushes, pressing himself even further against the wall

“You saw what happened with mom” Allison chimes in, glaring at Ben because their breakfast that morning was awful

“He’s not worth it” Luther says, and for once it seems they’re in agreement, because Diego turns and walks away, the others trailing behind him

Klaus stops, and gives him a sad look before scurrying after them, leaving Ben alone

Afterwards Ben is pulled into dad’s office and he’s handed pills. “To suppress your more . .  animalistic side” he said by way of explanation. 

Six blinks up at him. Suppress? As in . . get rid of? No more Horror

“It has come to my attention that you are far too dangerous to have running around unchecked” dad says when he asks, and Ben wilts

He takes the medication, and tries not to get his hopes up about it, but the Horror is gone

Instead of the usual aching chasm in his stomach there’s nothing. Just a sense of stability, of calm. He doesn’t feel like bursting into tears or crawling away in shame

(he doesn’t . .  he can’t feel much of anything really)

But he does feel excitement. His siblings are going to be so amazed- no more Horror!- and- and his dad can give Klaus some medication too, so he doesn’t have to use drugs anymore- or other drugs anymore!

His father pulls him aside and tells him that he must never tell anybody about this medication. His siblings have to keep thinking he can summon the Horror

Ben loves their father so much, wants to impress him, wants to make him proud. Except-Klaus. Klaus deserved to have this medication too, right? His- his powers were way worse than Ben’s

Reginald tells him, point-blank, that if he tells anyone about suppressing the Horror, he will take him off the medication

And that is-Ben feels kind of muffled right now, as if he’s under a weighted blanket but-

Terror is the only way to describe it, because he just found peace and now it is being threatened to have it ripped away

He lies about the Horror. The others continue to avoid him, but he also avoids them now, guilt over his lie causing him to cut himself off from Klaus, who cared for him, who deserves to have this as well, but Ben is just so selfish-

The second he hits eighteen, Ben leaves the house. He’s been on medication for 4-5 years now, and it shows. His emotions are basically gone.

He stays away from everyone until the funeral, when Five returns, telling him about the apocalypse, and he believes him, wholeheartedly believes him

He’s so frazzled by the announcement that he goes off his medication, forgotten in the moment of the literal apocalypse

(Reginald Hargreeves was a man trying to play god. He tried to lock away a beast too strong to be tamed)

(Someone should have taught him;when you cage a beast, the beast will get angry)

[myth-lord]

Bestiary 3 (Pathfinder)

Pathfinders Bestiary 3 (2nd edition) is here, time to give my useless opinion on every monster in the book.

Abandoned Zealot – Another humanoid undead which I think are way to common, also I’m not a fan of religious-based monsters, not because I think they are blasphemous, but more because I find religion and faith in games rather boring. 3/10

Adlet – While from mythology and while it is stunning artwork, I’m not a fan of these creatures, they have cool abilities, I give them that much. 4/10

Agathion / Silvanshee – Very cool artwork, and this creature reminds me of the Cheshire Cat, still I’m not a fan of gentle creatures in a monster manual. 6/10

Agathion / Vulpinal – Another canine-humanoid, we just had Adlet, repeative in the first few pages is really bad, not a fan of goodguys and also not a fan of this entire concept. 3/10

Agathion / Procyal – I know a lot of people would love an Raccoon-based humanoid, I’m not one of them. 3/10

Agathion / Draconal – Pretty solid, but not really a huge fan. 5/10

Amalgamite – Creatures which teleport-magic turned them into abominable monsters, I like it! 7/10

Amphisbaena – While taken from Mythology, it is just a snake with two heads in the end, they didn’t give it interesting abilities to make it stand out. 5/10

Android – Hate this shit in Pathfinder, leave those futuristic creatures in Starfinder, really bad and another playable race which I don’t want in my monster manuals. 0/10

Angazhani – Just a renamed and more powerful Girallon. Well, it’s better than Girallon, but not that much. 5/10

Animated Silverware – Fun little idea for an animated object. 6/10

Animated Furnace – Reminds me of Beauty and The Beast cartoon. 6/10

Animated Trebuchet – Living siege weapons are fun! 6/10

Animated Colossus – Just Talos from Greek Mythology, but ok. 5/10

Arboreal Reaper – That artwork is SO awesome, one of my favorite artworks in the book, the creature itself isn’t that special too bad. 7/10 (only for artwork)

Arboreal Archive – Nice artwork, but I’m not a fan sorry. 4/10

Asura / Shaukeen – I’m not a fan of the Asura, spare for the Adhukait, this one gets a. 3/10

Asura / Adhukait – The only returning Asura from 1st edition pathfinder, and the best one in my opinion, these conjoined twin monsters are a menace on paper and in artwork. 8/10

Asura / Japalisura – Multiple arms for ranged weapons isn’t a concept I enjoy that much, sorry. 5/10

Asura / Nikaramsa – Oh, a two headed tiger-man, reminds me of a Rakshasa, not really original. 4/10

Azarketi – Underwater folk that can control water, how original, and another playable race, there are too much of those in this book, they should get their own manual. 0/10

Azer – I really don’t like this female azer art, so boring compared to the males with fiery beards, but I was never a fan of these fire dwarves or dwarves in general. 3/10

Bauble Beast – Don’t like the name, and the ability sounds weird to me, don’t really understand this creature at all, but gemstones that grow on its skin is kinda fun. 6/10

Baykok – It’s first edition artwork was amazing, this artwork is not only ugly, it is also wrong, in the fluff there is said the Baykok can’t stand on ground, well the artwork is standing pose… But the Baykok itself is still a good creature in pathfinder! 8/10

Beheaded (Both) – Not a fan of these flying heads, I prefer Vargouille and Chon-Chon’s over these simple versions. 3/10

Betobeto-San – Fun concept, cool art, but strange choice for a myth-creature, there are so much better ones that could make it in. 6/10

Bison – Not a fan of real-world animals in this Bestiary. 1/10

Blood Painter – Fun, cool art, awesome abilities, this is a very cool new monster! I also love the name a lot, sounds so macabre! 9/10

Bone Ship – This thing is awesome! I’m mostly not a huge fan of high-level creatures, but this one is perfect on so many levels! The art again is very awesome just like in 1e! 10/10

Bore Worms – Both species are kinda meh, just cheap replacements of the D&D Rot Grubs. 5/10 (only for artwork)

Brainchild -  This is a really original and fun creature, based on Urban Legends, the more you believe in it the more powerful it becomes, really fun concept! The art could be better but ok. 9/10

Buso – Taken from Mythology, but I really don’t like it sorry. 3/10

Caligni / Vanguard – Never been a huge fan of the Dark Folk in pathfinder, the art is stunning though. 4/10

Caligni / Caller – This art is very cool and colorful, while the species hates colors… Anyway just another Caligni/Dark Folk, meh. 4/10

Calikang – A six armed giant, rather seen the Gegenees return, this one is not making sense to me. 4/10

Camel – Nice for a book about animals, not for a Monster Manual/Bestiary… 1/10

Cavalry Brigade – I’m not a fan of stats for Troops in a Bestiary, they should have released those in their own manual. 1/10

Cecaelia – The art is really bad, a male cecealia is ok, but the art is just not ok for me, also don’t like it they turned this creature into a playable race… 5/10 Chyzaedu – From lovecraft, I’m not a fan of lovecraft, not because the racism, but more so because I don’t like his chaotic-looking and sounding creatures. 2/10

City Guard – Just a human troop, what is this crap doing in my bestiary? 0/10

Clockworks (All, spy, soldier, mage and dragon) – Never been a fan, art is great again, but while I don’t hate them like Robots, I still don’t care for them. 3/10

Cobble Mite (Cobbleswarm and Sturzstromer) –Fun creatures of living rocks that become a living landslide when swarming together. 6/10

Coral Capuchin – I liked the old art much better, but his one is ok. I like these whimsical creatures very much. 7/10

Corrupted Relic – And item that is bound to a spirit?  Not bad, but not my favorite. 5/10

Couatl (all species) – Not a fan of these gentle creatures, I would have liked an evil version of the Couatl in this book or the much cooler Peuchen from 1st edition.

Crab, Hermit Crab Swarm – Don’t see the difference with the crab swarm from the first Bestiary… 2/10

Crab, Giant Hermit Crab – The things you can do with a huge hermit crab! The art is really fun too! A hermit crab with a old boat on its back! Fun fun fun! 8/10

Crossroads Guardian – Whatever, I didn’t even read the text on this one, the art didn’t appealed to me. 1/10

Demon / Dretch – Who needs these pathetic demons back? They aren’t fun, they aren’t looking cool, they don’t have special abilities, we already have other weak demons… really unnecessary… 1/10

Demon / Abrikandilu – This art is really bad, I liked the rat-headed demons much better, their story and abilities are really fun though, nothing about jealous, beauty-destroying demons that can’t stand their own reflections! 8/10

Demon / Brimorak – Cool artwork, but do we really need another fire-based demon that looks like a satyr on steroids?  4/10

Demon / Omox – The awesome slime demons are back! I loved their art in 1st edition more but this art is also a lot of fun. 8/10

Devil / Hellbound Attorney – The picture is boring, the creature is template, I’m not a fan of templates at all. 1/10

Devil / Levaloch – One of my favorite demons, these steel-covered centauric horrors looked much better in other artworks, but I still like the thing! 7/10

Devil / Munagola – So boring I didn’t even read the fluff, just another Erinyes. 1/10

Devil / Deimavigga – The art and abilities are a lot of fun on this high-level devil! I like the flying mask thing they have. 6/10

Div / Doru – Wow, this artwork is a really big improve upon the 1st edition one! Still don’t really care for this thing though. 5/10 (for the art)

Div / Aghash – I use these myth-things myself in Mythika as giant beholder-like demons, but the pathfinder is fun, I do miss the sand in the artwork, but it isn’t bad. 6/10

Div / Pairaka – The text said they are looking like beautiful humanoids covered in disease, but the artwork shows some horrid ugly demon? I’m lost! Still not a bad creature. 6/10

Div / Sepid – I liked the artwork much better in pathfinder 1st edition, really miss the white skin, I’m glad they kept their rain of debris ability though! 6/10

Divine Warden – Another template, really don’t like those. 1/10

Dragon, Forest Dragon – Not a fan of the imperial dragons, even though they are the only dragons in pathfinders based on real mythology, but never cared that much for Asian dragons, the Forest Dragon however has cool fluff and look ok. 6/10

Dragon, Sea Dragon – Bleh, this one is gentle so I don’t like it. 4/10

Dragon, Sky Dragon – Somewhat better than the Sea Dragon and it reminds me of the dragon of the Neverending Story, but still a gentle creature. 5/10

Dragon, Sovereign Dragon – I’m sure it has a lot of fans, but I’m not one of them. 4/10

Dragon, Underworld Dragon – Such as stupid name, but the artwork is awesome and stunning, only for that it already gets. 6/10

Dramofir – Dream-weavers are always fun, the artwork isn’t something to write home about, but still not bad. 7/10

Duende – Of all creatures from Mythology they could use, they use this… Really not my favorite and the abilities are rather boring. 2/10

Dybbuk – This puppet-master spirit is awesome, the art is also increased in awesomeness, very cool! 8/10

Einherjar – Sorry Pathfinder, but I prefer my Einherjar/Berserkers to be male, call me old-tradition, but this artwork is really boring and just looks like some standard warrior woman, it is not telling me it is a legendary Einherjar at all. 4/10

Elemental Wisps – Cute artwork, but the concept is just a will-o-wisp combined with an elemental, pretty standard. 4/10

Ennosite / Ioton – A new group of creatures, but I’m not a fan, these suit more into Starfinder in my opinion. 3/10

Ennosite / Shulsaga – Same as Ioton, they fit more into Starfinder in my opinion. 3/10

Ennosite / Caulborn – These are more suited for Pathfinder, cool artwork and abilities, 6/10.

Ennosite / Adachros – I prefer a Crystal Golem over this thing, but it isn’t really that bad. 5/10

Eunemvro – I love Okapi’s very much, but these strange okapi-headed humanoids of positive energy and Undead-slayers are better off in book with gentle creatures/allies. 3/10

Eurypterid – While I don’t care for real-world animals in monster manuals, I do like Dinosaurs and extinct creatures in there. These awesome sea scorpions are no exception to that rule. 7/10

Festrog – While they are just humanoid undead #100 they stand out because they are so beastly looking.  5/10

Fish / Pufferfish – WTH, I thought these were giant variants, they are just the real-world fish… 1/10

Fish / Piranha Swarm – Yeah, whatever 1/10

Flumph – Never understood people’s obsession with these good natured jellyfish-like aberrations, I find them very laughable and pathetic looking. 2/10

Fortune Eater – I was kinda disappointed by this creature, the artwork looks amazing and truly special, but then the fluff and abilities aren’t making me hot or warm at all. 5/10

Fox / Red Fox – Boring. 1/10

Fox / Fading Fox – Better, these are probably based on the Teumessian Fox from Greek Mythology, for that and their shifting colors: 5/10

Galvo – A creature made from a swarm of electric eels? Kinda crazy! 6/10

Garuda – Not a fan of the myth creature, and not a fan of the pathfinder version as well. These bird-folk hate serpents, well, I like the Naga much better. 4/10

Gathlain – Really not care about any of the playable races in this book. 1/10

Ghoran – Ok, this is a plant-based playable race, somewhat more original but still playable racey… 2/10

Leng Ghoul – Ugh, another one of Lovecrafts creations, we already have ghouls, why we need this one too?  1/10

Cave Giant – This one reminds me of the Buggane of 1st edition pathfinder, especially the cool artwork, but Bugganes aren’t mentioned in their fluff, so I guess they are just the boring Cave Giant, for the art it gets a: 6/10

Desert Giant – Just a big human, next. 2/10

Tomb Giant – They rule over the undead, have awesome artwork and that scythe is lovely. 7/10

Plague Giant – I’m kinda angry they used this giant instead of re-using the awesome Papinijuwari from 1st edition which also was a giant which had something to do with plagues and diseases, but which looked much cooler. 4/10

Girtablilu – I’m glad these Scorpion-people made it back into Pathfinder 2nd edition, but that artwork is so much worse than the 1st edition female Girtablilu! 7/10

Gliminal – A fun creature of positive energy that can heal you beyond your current HP and which can make you explode into positive energy dust when they heal you too much. 6/10

Globster – I liked the 1st edition art better, but the fluff in this edition is more fun. 6/10

Fossil Golem – The art is suburb, also a fun concept a Fossil Golem, only problem I have is that the Dinosaurs aren’t extinct in Pathfinder so why call it a fossil golem? 6/10

Mithral Golem – I really hated the artwork for this creature in 1st edition, this one looks pretty cool, imagine if the liquid metal Terminated became an Golem. 7/10

Green Man – The real Leshy from Pathfinder, I’m not a fan of its extreme high Level (being 24) but the art and creature are a lot of fun. 7/10

Gremlin / Grimple – I like their lice-powers, the art is a bit cute and strange though, not sure if they used the art to present the Grimple or the Haniver, but one of them didn’t get artwork. 5/10

Gremlin / Haniver – Not a fan of Jenny Haniver, I’m sorry. 3/10

Gremlin / Fuath – This creature has some fun abilities and an ok-ish look. 5/10

Grioth – I’m not sure what this is supposed to be? Lovecraft? I really hate this thing. 1/10

Guardian Beasts (Stone Lion Cub & Stone Lion) – Very cute art, but not a huge fan. 4/10

Guecubu – An undead creature that raised together with the dirt around it, I liked it before, this art is much better than before too. 7/10

Hadrinnex – Strange artwork, but the ability to adapt to any attack made against it is very cool! 7/10

Hag / Storm Hag – A hag that can control the weather system is just level 5? WTF? #hotmystormhag. 5/10 (just for the art this time, but can’t compare to 1st edition one)

Hag / Winter Hag – This is an ok frosty hag. 6/10

Hag / Blood Hag – The only hag from mythology, the art is stunning, the abilities creepy, yeah I like this depiction of the Soucouyant. 7/10

Hag / Moon Hag – Another hag? Really? Not a fan of this one, I expected something more for the most powerful hag in Pathfinder, this one looks boring. 4/10

Harmona – The fluff tells me this is a cool hummingbird-like creature, but the artists turned it into a blue raven? Really a shame, if it would have hummingbird art it would be perfect! They are TINY but still LEVEL 11, perfect, they are neutral as well, not good. 7/10 (would have been higher if the art wasn’t this wrong)

Hellwasp Swarm – I like this creature, the art is fun, but I would have preferred if the wasps were red instead of just yellow. 8/10

Herexen – O, another humanoid undead, boring. 1/10

House Drake – Of all the cool things you could do with small dragons, Pyrausta, Aitvaras, no they went the easy way with house drakes… ugh. 2/10

House Spirit / Domovoi – Fun artwork but they are good, not neutral, that’s a shame. 5/10

House Spirit / Dvorovoi – No artwork again, this creature isn’t really liked by Pathfinder itself, they always give the Domovoi and Ovinnik the artwork lol. 1/10

House Spirit / Ovinnik – Very boring artwork, not the Ovinnik I had in mind, I’m glad they increased their level though, from 2 to level 4. 4/10

Huldra – The artwork is ok, the creature itself is just ok. 5/10

Hyakume – This is where it gets good, one of my favorite artwork and creature in this book, I love the Hyakume, that artwork is really inspiring for my own project. 10/10 (best creature in this book almost)

Incutilis – This is another awesome creature, cool artwork, nice abilities, just a perfect match for me. 9/10

Jorogumo – The old artwork was much better, this looks like a child, not a woman. The abilities and stuff is still cool though. 7/10

Kami / Shikigami – Not a fan of the kami, the art is cute to say the least. 4/10

Kami / Kodama – Very cute and cool artwork, but not my thing. 5/10

Kami / Zuishin – I’m sure everybody likes it, not me. 2/10

Kami / Toshigami – This one looks stunning! Love the pink in the picture. 5/10

Kangaroo – lol, I love the animal, but not in a monster manual. 1/10

Kappa – This artwork, looks like it was made for a manga comic, not good. 5/10

Kirin – The artwork is great again (like in 1st edition) but Kirin are gentle creatures, I don’t like gentle creatures at all. 5/10

Kishi – Nice to see such an obscure mythology creature in pathfinder, they lack in 2nd edition so far. Love the fluff of this creature and the art is okay as well. 7/10 Kitsune – A male Kitsune artwork, very bad. Not a fan of this playable race. 1/10

Kokogiak – The 10 legged polar bear has the awesome ability to use the screams of it’s past victims, very cool, the art is cool as well. 8/10

Kongamato – They made it less powerful than in Pathfinder 1st edition, which is a good thing, never liked the full-dragon Kongamato, this one is much better, don’t really like the bright colors though, looks more like Ropen this way. 7/10

Kovintus – Another playable race, next. 1/10

Krampus – Very fun to see what they made of it in Pathfinder, fun fluff and abilities, they can turn you into a child! That artwork is gonna give me nightmares. 7/10

Kuchisake-Onna – I wasn’t expecting much from this myth-creature as I really don’t care for the myth, but this pathfinder is really fun actually. Very high level as well. 7/10

Kurobozu – Much like the Grudge meets brother tuck. Fun artwork, not a fan of monks though. 6/10

Kushtaka – Another rather unknown myth creature, this time in the form of shapeshifting otter-folk. 6/10

Ledalusca – Fun water-elemental creatures that can turn into any reflection they ever had on their bodies, and are confused by vampires because they don’t have an reflection. 6/10

Leshy / Vine – No artwork so I can’t know what this one is about. 3/10

Leshy / Cactus – The art is very childish, don’t like these leshy’s. 4/10

Leshy / Seaweed – Another cartoonish creature. 4/10

Living Symbol / Oil Living Graffiti – Fun guardian creatures I guess. 5/10

Living Symbol / Arcane Living Rune – That art is very old and just re-used. 5/10

Locathah – Never been a fan of this playable race, this is the best art I’ve ever seen of it though. 3/10

Lovelorn – Jeez they really fucked up the art here.. The 1st edition undead heart-creature was much better looking! Still the same abilities though, the Lovelorn is a very fun non-humanoid undead! 8/10

Maftet – Never seen the use of these humanoid sphinxes when you already have sphinxes themselves… Their tattoo abilities are fun though.  3/10

Mezlan – A slimy shapeshifter, we already have so many other shapeshifter, this one doesn’t really make sense to me. 5/10

Mi-Go – More like Please-Go, not a fan of this lovecraftian horror. 2/10

Millindemalion – What do you get when you compare the Mad Hatter with Rumpelstiltskin and the Hatter from Batman? The Millendemalion! My favorite new creature in this book! 10/10!

Mobogo – Old art was better for these Toad Dragons, but still glad they made it back! 8/10

Mokele-Mbembe – The neck is really short in that artwork, but these flesh-eating sauropods are pretty fun! 7/10

Monkey (both) – Yeah, just monkeys… So much pages wasted on real-life animals… 1/10

Moose – See above. 1/10

Mortic / Angheuvore Flesh-Gnawer – I’m really not a fan of the Mortic, I’m not a fan of creatures that are just another creature (just like Fleshwarps) which became another creature-group, the Mortic are just elves, humans, orcs ect that were overwhelmed by negative energy, but not enough to turn them undead… 2/10

Mortic / Gurgist Mauler – The human variant of Mortic, boring. 1/10

Mortic / Lifeleecher – The orc variant. 2/10

Mortic / Etioling Blightmage – The Gnome variant, so cheap… 1/10

Platecarpus – A small mosasaur-type creature. 4/10

Tylosaurus – Only level 8? Really?  That’s low. 5/10

Mothman – I really LOVED the old artwork, but this new artwork is ok as well, fun creature that is attracted to calamities and disasters. 7/10

Munavri – Playable race so instant. 1/10

Myceloid – The colors on this artwork are so bad, but I kinda loved this toadstool-people from 1st edition. 7/10

Nagaji – 1/10

Namorrodor – A very obscure creature from Australian mythology, but they didn’t do anything with their meteor-travel ability… The artwork is okay and I’m glad they still use myth creatures from Australia myths. 6/10

Narwhal – Cool animals, not good for book though. 1/10

Nemhaith – Name changed from the 1st edition Nemhain, but still boring humanoid undead, high level undead. 1/10

Nightgaunt – The best of lovecrafts creations, but still not my thing. 5/10

Nightmarchers – The only troop I find a little bit ok so far. 4/10

Lampad + Lampad Queen – Awesome, I’m so glad these dark underground nymphs are back! Their art is awesome as well! 10/10

Hesperid / Hesperid Queen – Very fun new neutral nymphs of the sun and light, really enjoying these nymphs + queens. 9/10

Giant Opossum – I like the opossum, but because the next opossum based monster is so cool, I think this one is unnecessary. 4/10

Khravgodon – An Ankheg-eating GIANT Opossum, very cool artwork as well, instant favorite. 9/10

Ostovite – Hmm they went from silverfish in 1st edition to millipede in 2nd edition, I prefer the silverfish-art as there are more than enough centipedes in pathfinder already. But this creature is a lot of fun, low level but big trouble, they create chariots from the bones of other creatures. 8/10

Ouroboros – This creature is just too much, I prefer the Ouroboros from Kobold Press a lot more than this chaotic being, it’s also too high level for my taste. It is far from bad, but for me personally, just too much. 5/10

Owb – Fun artwork and abilities, but their fluff connects them to the Dark Folk, which I don’t like at all. 5/10

Paaridar – Take humans and combine them with obvious monsters such as the Manticore and you have the Paaridar, so overdone. 2/10

Giant Pangolin – I love their ability named Devourer of Swarms, very nice pet to have! I would have loved to see them give the alternative name Veo to this creature, but they didn’t, still a cool giant animal though. 6/10

Penanggalan – I would have preferred the Manananggal to this one though, never cared for it. 4/10

Peri – This angel from mythology is not my thing, Angels are not my thing. 3/10

Phantoms – Another load of humanoid undead spirits, and not very fun ones, wasted pages. 1/10

Aphorite sharpshooter – Wasted pages on playable races… 1/10

Ganzi Martial Artist – Another wasted page. 1/10

Popobawa – Ah they corrected their error, in 1st edition they were called Popobala with the L instead of the W. All their artworks look so awesome, high level chaos shapechanger, a favorite of mine. 9/10

Giant Porcupine – I love porcupines, especially giant ones lol, the art is ok-ish. 5/10

Pukwudgie – Poor Pukwudgie, they really changed him for the worst, in 1st edition it could resurrect it’s victims into undead (the ones it killed with its spines) but now it’s just plain boring. The art is worse as well. 5/10

Quintessivore – I don’t understand anything of Quinteessence or whatever, and I’m too lazy to learn. 2/10

Rakshasa / Raktavarna – Poor Raktavarna, a cool shapeshifing serpent-sword in 1st edition now just a snake that turns into any object, now word spoken about swords anymore, the only cool Rakshasa from pathfinder just lost its charm to me. 1/10

Rakshasa / Maharaja – Very high level Rakshasa, I’m not a fan. 2/10

Ringhorn Ram & Rosethorn Ram – If I would create some cool Ram creatures to add to my monster book they would at least have some cool abilities to make them stand out, these are just rams with strange names and no cool abilities at all, wasted potential. 1/10

Rancorous Priesthood – Another troop of humans or whatever, I’m not interested enough to read the fluff. 1/10

Rhu-Chalik – Another futuristic monster that should stay in Starfinder (the science fiction variant of pathfinder) and has nothing to do in a monster manual of Pathfinder. 1/10

Roiling Incant – A difficult to understand creature, looks like a living spell, I don’t care for living spells. 1/10

Rokurokubi – WHAT THE HELL have they done to you Rokuro!?! You were perfect and powerful in Pathfinder 1st edition, now you look like some joke with horrid artwork, and you are gender-swapped as well… From level 14 to level 2… what a joke. 0/10

Sabosan – Just a bat-human combination, better than the Werebat that is in the same DAMN book, but still pretty boring, at least Popobawa is a cool version of bat and human. 4/10

Sahkil / Esipil – The Sahkil are fear-eating creatures and they are unlike many groups of outsiders pretty much fun! Not the Esipil though, not standing out. 4/10

Sahkil / Nucol – They are about the fear for parasites and they look like ugly boars full of worms and parasites, pretty awesome! 6/10

Sahkil / Wishaak – My favorite Sahkil, they embody the fear for insects and arachnids, they look cool too. 7/10

Sahkil / Pakalchi – The fear of losing love and relationships, the art is awesome as always for this creature, a fun Sahkil like Wishaak. 7/10

Sahkil / Ximtal – I think this one is a bit too chaotic for me. 5/10

Sahkil / Kimenhul – The most powerful Sahkil, but by far not my favorite. 5/10

Samsaran – Very boring playable race. 0/10

Sasquatch – Or bigfoot, never been a huge fan of these vanilla creatures, the fluff mentions Yowie as well, a creature I’d rather would have seen instead. 3/10

Scalescribe – The little helpers of mages and wizards, seems like fun. 5/10

Giant Seahorse – Cute, but I want something more feral for a seahorse. 5/10

Seething Spirit – This red spirit of frustration, anger and hate is nice for a humanoid undead spirit, but I would have preferred they used the Aatxe for this role. 6/10

Shabti – Another playable race, yawn. 1/10

Shae – Shadow people, geez, how many shadow people we need, we already got some in the previous bestiaries. 4/10

Shantak – If I’m not wrong these are also from Lovecraft? They look silly. 2/10

Siktempora / Misery – A fun concept, like the art as well for this one. They are created from strong emotions, which is always fun. 6/10

Siktempora / Triumph – This one looks very bad. 4/10

Siktempora / Love – Too bad it is a gentle version, but the art is pretty ok. 5/10

Siktempora / Hatred – Spawned from hate and negative emotions, sound like fun! 6/10

Skeletons (all types) – Been there, done that, waste of pages for me. 1/10

Skelm (all types) – Male hags? Really? They gave the SJW their way as a very annoying person on the forums of Paizo asked for male harpies/hags/medusa ect… They look like humans with antlers, damn how cliché… Hags are awesome, they don’t need male counterparts at all…  1/10

Skinstitch – Oh not these creatures again, never cared for them, another waste of page for me. 2/10

Skull Peeler – These look like fun! And very cute as well! They are level 6 for such a small creature! I really love small powerful creatures! 8/10

Skull Swarms – Too bad they didn’t mention the Mekurabe, which is a mythological swarm of skulls, that would make this entry perfect, but they are still fun. 6/10

Skunk – Just a skunk people, nothing to see. 1/10

Giant Skunk – Even dragons don’t like the smell, awesome. 6/10

Slithering Pit – Damn they really raped the design from the 1st edition Slithering Pits into this… I don’t even know what’s going on in the artwork? Look like a tree? 4/10

Three-Toed Sloth – 1/10

Megatherium – Just level 5???? Must be much higher, they are powerful herbivores! 5/10

Rat Snake & Viper Swarm – Do we really need this in a bestiary? 1/10

Hieracosphinx – I’m glad they skipped the stupid Ram-headed Criosphinx this time around and actually used cool sphinxes. Love the Hieraco. 6/10

Elder Sphinx – But the Elder Sphinx is where it’s at, most awesome of the sphinxes and at Level 16 it stands as respectable as a sphinx should be! 8/10

Spirit Guide – Guide yourself out of this book now! Ugh. 1/10

Sprite / Nyktera – Take a bat and a pixie and mix them together, you get the Nyktera, not bad. 6/10

Sprite / Melixie – Take an insect and a pixie and you get the Melixie, but what, aren’t the other sprites not already mixed with insects? Lame. 3/10

Sprite / Draxie – This time we mix a dragon with a pixie. Looks like a fun creature in the art. 6/10

Squirming Swill – A creature that formed from the living ingredients from a hags cauldron? Really? Who comes up with these creatures? 2/10

Squirrel Swarm – Fun for your backyard. 1/10

Giant Flying Squirrel – In which adventure you gonna use these I wonder? 3/10

Stheno – Okay… very disappointing, these are just a playable race version of the Medusa… Very bad. 0/10

Stix – Has nothing to do with the mythological creature, just a playable race. 1/10

Sumbreiva -  This new creature is pretty awesome, they are hunters of souls and keep collections much like Predator from the movies, they are a good new addition. 8/10

Swordkeeper – Another cool new creature, a construct this time, it is like a golem that has a sword inside its body and can summon copies of this weapon into its four arms, very cool concept for a guardian of magical items! 8/10

Tattoo Guardian – Very boring art for a Tattoo Guardian jeez, disappointing alarm goes berserk! For that art alone: 1/10

Terra-Cotta Warrior – The second creature I like having troops from as it makes sense in a bestiary to have Terra-Cotta and a troop version of it, unlike human troops. 6/10

Terror Bird – These are just the Axe Beak. 5/10

Terror Shrike – They don’t even are shrikes?? They don’t even impale their victims on sharp objects, how disappointing! 5/10

Tiddalik – I don’t understand this creature at all, it will drain all the water away but it is still only a huge creature? This creatures fluff don’t make any sense to me. Well at least I finally have good art for the Tiddalik as a creature. 5/10

Tidehawk – A water-based Phoenix which instead of reincarnation through fire will fall down in raindrops. It’s a cool concept but I’d rather seen an ice phoenix.  6/10

Tikbalang – Suburb art again, very scary and creepy, an overall good creature. 7/10

Titan / Elysian – The good natured Titans, not a fan. 4/10

Titan / Thanatotic – The house, kitchen garden evil titan, boring. 4/10

Titan / Danava – Looks cool but is a good-natured Titan. 5/10

Titan / Hekatonkheires  - The best of the titans, art is again spot-on like the 1st edition 100-handed ones! 8/10

Tolokand – The art is pretty meh, but the creature itself has interesting fluff and abilities, a real destroyer of landscapes. 6/10

Tooth Fairy – I love pathfinders Tooth Fairies, partly because I wished for them myself on the forums and they answered my prayers lol. They look and behave really awesome in Pathfinder, count me a fan. 9/10

Trailgaunt – Another boring humanoid undead, really? 0/10

Trilobite – I like trilobites, not as much as sea scorpions, but they are okay. 5/10

Tsukumogami / Ittan-Momen – The weakest living object? Really? Ittan-Momen are mostly the most dangerous ones and the most evil ones, in Pathfinder they are neutral? Well okay, the art is awesome anyway. 6/10

Tsukumogami / Kasa-Obake – The living umbrella is back from 1st edition and the art is marvelous again, I love this version but too bad it went from neutral to neutral good… 5/10

Tsukumogami / Chouchin-Obake – While the Ittan-Momen is weak and neutral, they turned these paper lanterns into very high level evil creatures? They lack art as they share pages with the Kasa-Obake… 5/10

Tupilaq – Lol the artist just copied the 1st edition version, where is the creativity?  Especially with a creature that can be formed from many types of bones… Very powerful for a small creature, I like it. 7/10

Tzitzimitl – A very powerful skeletal undead humanoid, but this one is okay. 7/10

Umasi – Umasi don’t care for gender, ethnicity and appearance, very nice of the Umasi I say… 5/10

Valkyrie – The angels of war, I don’t care for Valkyries, but Pathfinder turns them neutral and kinda awesome! 7/10

Vampire / Nosferatu – All 3 of them are okay, not a fan of vampires though. 5/10

Vanara – Playable monkey humanoid race, boring. 1/10

Vilderavn – One of my favorite creatures of pathfinder, based on the Valravn, one of my favorite myth creatures. 10/10

Vishkanya – Poor Vishkanya, the all female-amazone-like race has been gender-swapped, now there are also male Vishkanya, the art is pretty bad in my opinion, like the old vishkanya better. The only playable race I liked in 1st edition.  2/10

Giant Vulture – I hope he has more fun with eating that camel than I had with reading it’s entry… 2/10

Wayang – Another playable race, and ANOTHER race connected with shadows, wtf. 1/10

Weasel – Ah cute a weasel. 1/10

Megalictis – A very big weasel, I don’t understand why they just didn’t add Ichneumon to this page instead…  4/10

Werebat – Never cared for the werebeasts, especially not for werebats, the art is okay though, best werebat art I’ve seen. 4/10

Werecroc – Same as werebat. 4/10

Wizard Sponge – I thought this was a very cool anti-magic fungus or whatever, but the fluff was YAWN. 2/10

Wolliped – How much multi-legged creatures do we need? This one is very bland in multiple ways. 1/10

Wyrmwraith – Cool undead dragons, nuff said. 7/10

Wyrwood – Yet another playable race, they are endless in this book damn… so much wasted pages. 1/10

Yithian – Another lovecraft aberration, the art is okay, but I don’t care for this creature. 2/10

Yzobu – The art is amazing, the creature sounds pretty boring in the fluff. 5/10

Zetogeki – Looks like some magical giant Gila Monsters with magical scales which protect it from kinetic harm, cool. 8/10

Zombies (All) – Do we really need more zombies?? 1/10

PFFF, overall a very bad Bestiary in my opinion, too much humanoid undead, normal animals, playable races everywhere, and a lot of overlapping creatures.

No new dinosaurs is also strange!

Missed a lot of interesting pathfinder monsters from 1st edition, instead we got things like Trailgaunt, wtf…

There are also a couple of interesting new additions to this pathfinder world, but too few to call this book good, the book gets a 4 out of 10 from me, one of the worst Bestiaries from pathfinder.

[azazelsconfessional]

*Someone- no, something approaches. You see a fusion of three people in one conjoined body. While their body remains humanoid, they have three heads: one of a rooster covered in magenta paint, a verdant-covered paint head of a donkey, and a dog head stained with indigo. All three heads are “talking” loudly, but not in unison. You can vaguely make out what they’re saying*

BAWK~!! BOWWOW!!!

Let's go on an adventure—a world that changes with every step. The me that changes after each step I take. My eyes dazzled by colorful light, I pursue pleasures that I don't have. Don't scold us because you can't understand our pursuit. You just happen to be one of the many who feel joy from common things.

NEIIIIGH~!!!

We—on the other hand—don't see any colors in those. You're the ones drenched in nasty pleasures. We're simply looking for what we lack. But complete satisfaction will never come; it'll only sink deeper in the raging thirst. We will spend our days in yet grander debauchery. We're happy, though. We can wet ourselves in new colors every day, unlike the rest of you.

Woof woof! Cockadoodledoo~ Heehaw~!!

*The volume of their voices is matched with the loudness of their appearance…*

Just because they're an abomination amalgamation doesn't mean they're not people. They're loud, but that's not a bad thing. On the contrary, they seem to be enjoying their life--and while they may be getting a few odd looks, he simply smiles at their philosophy. While he doesn't agree with disparaging the sources of joy of others, so long as those sources aren't hurting others who haven't agreed to their participation, what matters is that this creature is enjoying its life.

Although he feels like there should be a cat in this little group.

"You seem like an agreeable bunch." Azazel chuckles to himself. "Although, I wouldn't put others down for enjoying simpler lives. That's part of what people appreciate about this Tokyo, after all."

There’s something off about this, however. . .they’re one, but they’re three.  His Sight tells him as much.  They’re three humans, in fact. . .and now he’s concerned about how they ended up this way.  It reminds him of the tiger therian from Utopia. . .and their volume somehow makes him think of something he was told about before. . . .

. . .Idly, he checks the Missionaries’ territory for that person, wondering if they’re okay.  Whatever the collision that caused them to arrive hasn’t been resolved. . .because it’s clearly getting more severe.

[drsilverfish]

The Rupture/ The Rapture - Subtextual Grammar and Castiel’s Relationship to Dean in 15x03

Hey everyone,

Catching up British time and just seen the ep, so looking forward to seeing all your posts and gifs shortly! Firstly, some musings of my own.

Has Berens’ ripped everyone’s hearts out already? That’s some pretty potent symbolism right there for heartbreak huh? (Sorry Ketch):

The Rupture recalls, in subtext, through visual symbolism, Castiel’s long narrative journey in relation to Dean. So that Dean and Cas’ break-up, already foreshadowed by Chuck and Amara’s “divorce” in Reno last week, at the end of the episode (for those following the symbolism) is given extra punch. 

Firstly, the title, The Rupture 15x03 deliberately recalls, following Dabb’s ouroboros (circular/ spiral) narrative structure, The Rapture 4x20. That episode was critical for Dean and Castiel’s relationship. Castiel rebelled against Heaven and entered Dean’s dreams (his intimate space) in order to try to warn him about the angels’ plans by passing him a love note:

In the subtextual grammar of the show, that pier incident, has become a symbol of Dean and Castiel’s intimate connection. For example in 14x10 Nihilism, you can see a pier at sunset with a figure standing on it in the background on the wall, behind Dean’s mind-Pamela:

And remember, mind-Pamela profoundly represents Dean’s feelings for Castiel in that episode. Recall her costume, with the winged necklace and the T-shirt symbolising Dean’s salvation from Hell by Cas? And mind-Pamela, in Rocky’s Bar, is someone Dean wants, but thinks he can’t have.

Of course, Castiel was dragged back to Heaven and punished for his disobedience in 4x20 The Rapture, yet, eventually, as we know, he rebelled again and chose to help Dean over Heaven. So, when Berens recalls The Rapture in his episode title, The Rupture, it is to remind us just how much Castiel has sacrificed for Dean. 

“I rebelled, and I did it, all of it.... for you” (5x02 Good God Y’All).

As Cas said to Dean last week, in 15x02 Raising Hell, what’s “real”, despite Chuck’s machinations?: “We are.”  

Cas can see (at that point) that his connection to Dean has profound meaning, at least for him (a profound bond, indeed) because Dean helped Cas finally break free of Heaven’s control. Something (we learn in 8x21 The Great Escapist) that Cas had been trying over and over to do for aeons, only to be mind-wiped and re-programmed again and again. Naomi tries to torture re-programme Cas, yet again, in 8x17 Goodbye Stranger, by getting him to murder endless Dean clones in Heaven (making it very clear that the source of Castiel’s free will and resistance is his connection to Dean specifically). BUT Cas’ bond with Dean is too strong, and he breaks free of Naomi’s conditioning when faced with the real Dean, bloodied and on his knees, telling him: “I need you.”

If anything in Chuck’s multiverse symbolises free will it is Castiel’s rebellion against Heaven for Dean. 

What Cas isn’t clear on, by 15x03, is that the “profound bond” continues to have any meaning for Dean himself. As he says, bitterly to Belphegor:

Cas: “Sam and Dean are just using you. Don’t mistake that for caring about you, because I an assure you, they don’t.”

Bel: “Wow, you learn that the hard way?”

The symbolism, of Castiel’s journey in relation to Dean, continues in 15x03 in the visual grammar, as we see Cas, literally, jumping into Hell:

which of course recalls what we all know so well - that Cas fought his way into Hell and rescued Dean from Alastair’s clutches and resurrected him:

Castiel (to Dean): “When we discovered Lilith’s plan for you, we laid siege to Hell, and we fought our way to get to you...” (4x16 On the Head of a Pin). 

This shot of Dean and Cas together in 15x03, literally at Hell’s mouth, with a gravestone between them, likewise symbolises that event (Castiel’s resurrection of Dean from Hell) as well as the present “death” of their relationship:

So, it’s no accident that the magical object Castiel is tricked by Belphegor into retrieving from Hell in 15x03 is Lilith’s crook. Because (as in the 4x16 quote above) Lilith was the demon who worked to ensure Dean was dragged to Hell, to be broken by Alastair (whom Belphegor re-mentioned, also not by accident, in 15x01 Back and to the Future) thus breaking the first seal to jumpstart Lucifer’s return and the apocalypse.

All these reminders of Castiel’s significance to Dean, of Castiel’s salvation of Dean, of how they averted Chuck’s apocalpyse before (in S5), together, at the very moment of their break-up.... 

So, when we see Castiel on his knees in Hell, reluctantly singing a praise hymn in Enochian to Lucifer in order to achieve access to Lilith’s crook, aka magic horn? (Belphegor explicitly refers to the crook as a “horn”).  

Well, in subtext, the magic horn (Lilith’s crook) can be read as a sexual metaphor. 

This symbolism is the juxtaposition of the sacred and the profane - an angel at prayer in Hell. 

And following the shot of Cas kneeling in Hell, we get this shot of Dean, looking down into the Hell-mouth...

A visual reversal of Castiel’s rescue of Dean from Hell in S4.

Castiel passes the “magic horn” to the demon wearing the body of his beloved son, Jack:

 Jack who always, in subtext, symbolised the (forbidden) love between Dean and Castiel (his adoptive parents) because, as a Nephilim, he was the product of (forbidden) human-angel congress. 

Here at the start of S15, we know Castiel is losing his angelic powers after trying to heal Sam’s God-wound, and the show has previously been quite clear that becoming human entangles Cas in the world of human sexuality. We’ve seen that in 5x04 The End  with Castiel and the orgies he shares with Future!Dean:

And we also saw it (crudely drawn by Bucklemming) in 9x03 I’m No Angel, when newly fallen Human!Cas has survival sex with the Reaper possessing April (yes, ugh - consent issues all round):

Belphegor pleading with Cas in Jack’s voice reminds us of everything Jack meant to Cas. Cas, after all, once towed Heaven’s party line and regarded Nephilim as “abominations”. We saw that in 8x22 Clip Show, when Metatron  inveigled Cas into killing a Nephilim, in order to obtain her heart, for his (subtext-heavy) angel-fall spell, and we also saw it in the flash-back sequences in 12x10 Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets when Cas believed Akobel deserved to die for (supposedly) fathering a Nephilim child with Lily.  

What was once profane to Cas has become sacred. 

Jack, and loving Jack, represented (among other things) for Castiel, some kind of accommodation with his own secret heart. If the child of an angel (Lucifer, no less) and a human could NOT be a monster, then maybe an angel loving a human might not be monstrous either, despite Heaven’s edicts. 

But then Jack (apparently) killed Mary, and the Winchester family, whose always previously shaky membership (for Cas), Jack’s co-adoption with Sam and Dean had cemented for him, was blown apart. 

In 15x03 Cas is forced to kill Belphegor wearing the body of Jack:

And the death of Jack’s Nephilim (human-angel union) image, becomes, in the visual grammar, a metaphor for the death of Castiel’s hope of any continuing union between him and Dean - the death, on Dean’s part, Cas believes, of the profound bond. Hence we get a corpse-shot:

And Castiel’s tears:

Castiel echoes (having absorbed them) Dean’s unkind (grief-stricken) words to him from 14x18 Absence, “You’re dead to me!”

Cas (to Dean): “I’m dead to you.” (15x03).

After everything they’ve been through together (to Hell and back, as carefully illustrated in the visual grammar of 15x03) Castiel has utterly lost hope that he has any remaining emotional meaning for Dean; without Jack, without Mary, without his powers.  

Walking away (as the Winchester family signature music plays poignantly in the background) is a huge (and ultimately positive) step for Cas, who has, over the years, more and more built his identity and his meaning around his connection to the Winchesters, following his long rebellion against (and rejection by) Heaven. After everything Cas has been through (the narrative suggests) he deserves to be his own person, to be loved for himself (not his powers) and not to be taken for granted. 

And so we are left with the LOUD narrative negative space of Dean’s silence at the end.

 We can see Dean’s tense body language, in the final shot, half poised as if to spring forward, half frozen to the spot, as Cas leaves:

That silence in the narrative structure, which is mirrored in the symbolism of the ghosts/ demons being temporarily re-bottled up in Hell (like Dean’s feelings) as well as in the re-death of the feminine in the form of Rowena (because the feminine in the grammar of SPN = feelings) DEMANDS words, at some point down the road. 

Last time Cas was human, Dean kicked him out of the Bunker (thanks to Dean’s coercive pact with Gadreel) and we saw Cas’ broken-hearted suffering over that break-up in 9x06 Heaven Can’t Wait (Berens’ very first episode for SPN):

This time, Cas has more agency. He decides to initiate the break-up, because his heart (and how very human of you, Cas) can’t bear being treated to Dean’s silence, Dean’s anger and Dean’s (apparent) indifference any longer. 

Now, we need not only to see Dean come to his own broken-hearted realisation over this (reverse) break-up (after all, we’ve seen Dean broken-hearted over losing Cas, to death, before now) but for Cas to see that realisation, in Dean. 

In The Rapture (4x20) we are told the story of how Castiel the angel came to take Jimmy Novak as a vessel - how the angel we know became conjoined to the human-form we best know him in:

 In The Rupture (15x03) Castiel is losing his angelic powers again, moving once more towards inhabiting Jimmy Novak’s vessel, which is now his own body (Jimmy’s soul long-gone, and indeed that body destroyed and yet resurrected AS Cas, several times), as a human. 

Last time Cas was human, Dean missed his shot. How about this time?

The Ouroboros narrative is taking its final turn.     

My usual disclaimer: subtextual readings do not inevitably indicate or imply that textual romantic declarations will be forthcoming between Dean and Cas. That element of the story has been told in subtext for 10 years (and that’s where it quite likely will remain, in the terrain of ambiguity). Subtext IS however, part of narrative.

Nevertheless, an emotional reconcilliation of some sort, however readable as “brotherly”, comrades-in-armsy, nebulously “familial” etc. is, by story-logic, absolutely inevitable. 

That which is parted will be re-joined - Chuck to Amara, Cas to Dean. 

[ziracona]

okay i have another victor question for you!!! i know it might be traumatizing for them but who do you think is the first person to crush the baby? i was thinking it may happen by accident (pallet stun) or maybe when charlotte is in control they try to poke at him? or just a fear response in which they kick at him when he misses his jump? the survivors know they cant hurt the killers (aside from DS), so i wonder how long before anyone stomps on the baby?

I think it happens very first trial, and whoever does it doesn’t even know what Victor is before they do it. It’s dark, they’re being hunted like always, and something comes shrieking at you out of the grass and jumps? I think it’s just instinct. Someone sees something on another survivor and crushes it with their foot, or someone ducks, whips around, and kicks. I think it’s several times before anyone even gets a medium look at Victor at all, and when they do, nobody thinks “baby”—they think “Goblin??? Gremlin?? It has three eyes what is this thing??” I think even after seeing it lives in Charlotte’s chest, nobody’s first thought is “formerly conjoined twins”—it’s “what the fuck, why does the evil goblin monster live in her titty hole??” Because, you know, Vic isn’t attached anymore at all—he just climbs into her chest cavity which shouldn’t be possible, and she seems fine with it??? I think it would only be after they see the two interact outsife of a trial through the safety of a realm barrier by chance, or Élodie hears and translates some French, that they figure out what’s going on at all.

And then? Then it’s hard to know what to think. Victor is tiny and bald but if he’s a twin he’s the same age Charlotte is which is what, from a visual survivor guess probably 14 at the absolute low, 26 at the absolute max? And he’s trying to kill them, and won’t stop, so. They gotta fight back. But I think it’s weirder, and feels kind of...gross. Especially to an older survivor. I mean, I dunno about the rest of you but I am not a minor and the idea of like, kicking in the head of even a teenager who was trying to bite me to death is...not a good feeling??? At all? I mean you gotta do what you gotta do not to be murdered, but that doesn’t mean it won’t feel icky and bad and kinda haunt you. I think if the survivors got to kill Legion members, even though it’d be super merited after all the abominable shit they do, none of the survivors except maybe the ones around Legion’s age would be able to really stomach that. I mean. It’s just not gonna feel good even if it’s deserved, and it’s kinda not supposed to. Especially if you kill a young adult or teen by crushing their head. So. Twin trials become now really unpleasant for multiple reasons.

[glitterportrait]

hamish dream drabble thing

In the dream he hears Alice calling to him on the shore.

He barely recalls what it looks like, the beach nearest Kirkwall. He’d been so young the last time he left it, and green-cheeked at the mere prospect of boarding another ship. But in the dream he knows she’s waiting there for him, sitting on the rocks with sand in her skirts, leashed impatience in her face.

Come down, Hamish, and I’ll tell you a story.

He’d always liked her stories. She would respin the old islanders’ yarns, adding her own distinctive flourish, as careful to pronounce the Orcadian names in her hard-won English accent as he. She had a fine voice for storytelling, Alice, unexpectedly fine; the richness of it issuing from her bird-boned frame surprised you, put you in mind of a practiced orator at his podium. In Yvon’s dedicated efforts to read to him Hamish often hears the echo of Alice’s cadence, though he will never say so.

You like the gruesome ones best, I know. So I shall tell you of the Nuckelavee.

What was the Nuckelavee? It’s been so many years since he heard that one, he can’t remember. Something with a horse, he thinks, one of those preposterous water-dwelling fairy equines that the Scottish seem so fond of. Well, he will let her tell it, for old times’ sake.

He tries to walk down to the beach, but the walls of Wobik loom in his path. The gate is closed, and leaning against the spear-sharpened planks, fleur-de-lis wilting over his head, Elisha Cooke greets him.

“You won’t find what you came from in there.”

Cooke is soaking wet, as though he’d tumbled straight out of the sea. To Hamish he always appears damp around the edges, with his pale eyes penetrating yet watered down, hair unnaturally slick at the temples. But now he’s sodden through and through, his beard a bedraggled fisher-cat’s tail, dripping down his embroidered waistcoat.

“But you’ve been there,” Hamish corrects him. “You know what it’s like.”

“No indeed, Mr. Goames,” Cooke replies, his chuckle so soft it’s more like a gasp. “I was never there, not really. Surely you know that? But if you must try for it, don’t forget to bring that in with you.”

Cooke points to Hamish’s feet, and glancing down he sees a fox, lying there with paws tucked under its chest. Though it doesn’t look quite right—it’s made of old rags, stuffed and stitched together, with whiskers and ears drawn on in charcoal—

He turns back to Cooke, but he’s vanished. Bill Selby stands in his place, and he’s sopping not with saltwater, but with gore. Bits of viscera slide down his flushed cheeks; he grins at Hamish as the gate swings wide behind him.

“Watch thee step un’r the black sun, lad!” It isn’t Gay Bill’s broad Glaswegian he hears, but a rarer and scarce-recollected lilt, the sound of his father’s tongue.

He pushes past Selby, squinting at the sky (the black sun overhead is still bright, bright enough to stab and scrape beneath your eyelids if you’re not careful) and finds himself on the shore. Only it’s the river before him, not the ocean: the vast and martyred Saint Laurent, though he hears the pounding of ocean waves clear as though he looked upon the North Sea’s face.

“It’s just the sound of what’s coming,” Yvon says, ambling up from the riverbank, braid unraveling, blood in his nostril from the blow Bill landed, still bruised and burst-prune violet as the moment he last saw him—

my God I am sorry I am sorry for it

—leaving with the girl.

“I know you are no great cavalryman, no more than I.” Yvon’s lips quirk in amusement. He raises an open palm as if to take hold of Hamish’s shoulder, though he does not.

“But listen again.”

And Hamish does, and he realizes that the pounding, the rhythmic slam and strike, is the sound of galloping hooves.

“Is that what I came from, then?” He tries to focus on Yvon’s face, but it blurs into unfamiliarity, and from there into nothingness; there is no one to walk with him, no one but the ragdoll fox.

It is watching him from a little ways up the beach, and he does not remember its face being so sooty, so stained about the mouth before. The cloth lips drawn back from its teeth, and its creaking voice unspools like string, tautening in the gusts of sea-wind: Savedyourskinsavedyourskin. The words all run together, but he discerns it when they change again: Askinforaskinforaskin.

There’s a pain beneath his ribs, a pain like what he imagines an apple’s flesh might feel under the edge of Yvon’s coring knife. When he looks down he sees the fox’s head gnawing at his side, burrowing into the wound with exultant glee, muzzle soft as a babe’s plaything and bright as a bloodied hand—

He slaps the fox away, moaning, shouting, though no sound comes out.

Hamish! Would you hear the tale or not?

He follows Alice’s voice, ever onward, until he finds her silhouette against the waterline. Obsidian sunlight glances off and into his unblinking eyes, so that looking hurts almost as much as his side; and when she faces him he isn’t in the least taken aback to see her gaze is as black as Cross claimed.

“The Nuckelavee is both ridden and the thing that rides. It is the plague of our blood, and only the Mither of the Sea can check it. I’ve told you this many times. But you forgot to bring the sea with you.”

That is right, Hamish realizes. He has always forgotten. In his ears the hoofbeats have grown louder, a roar that lodges in the mind, that blights all hope of future quiet.

“Do I have to go back?”

Of course it is Yvon who answers, materializing by his bleeding side, his warm seamed skin splitting with a smile.

“You don’t have to go back. You just have to turn around. But do not worry overmuch, Hamish. There are hardly any horses in Paradise Lost.”

Yvon would know, he thinks, so he turns around.

And he sees it, riding and being ridden beneath the black sun. The Nuckelavee, its four-legged form fused with the two-legged thing astride it, an abomination of horse and man melded together like carcasses conjoined. Its entire shape is skinless, as a kill just freshly stripped of hide, all gleaming fat and twitching muscle and red red red—

I DROWNED ME IN THE RIVER, it bellows out of two mouths, in a voice at once like Randall Cross’s and like the wet scream of a strangled colt. Somewhere in the distance there’s the din of pistol shot, but it dwindles to mere popping beneath the Nuckelavee’s words. 

Hamish Goames wants nothing more than to wake up; he would set every hectare of Rupert’s Land ablaze, he would murder Randall all over again, if only he could wake.

IN THE RIVER IN THE RIVER IN THE RIVER

He does not wake.

[beyond-the-mirror]

Music of the Night (V x Reader)

Well this chapter took longer than expected! But it’s finally done and I hope it’s up to your expectations.

Tagging @thedyingmoon​ and @minteyeddemon​ since they were very interested in the concept of this fic. Please enjoy!

Warning: Child abuse, please read with caution. If this theme makes you uncomfortable you can skip the first part in italics.

............

Chapter 3: Songs of Innocence and Experience

“Gather round everyone! Come to our Freak Show and see! Bear witness to the most shocking collection of human abominations on earth!”

A rather tall man shouted at the top of his lungs, inviting the crowd into a rather dull tent situated behind him.

Fortuna’s local carnival was definitely not the most impressive touristic attraction the city had to offer, located in a barren terrain at the outskirts of it. The rides barely received any maintenance, small piles of garbage accumulated in some corners, and the stench excrement coming from the pet zoo impregnated the air. As unappealing as the entire carnival looked, it still offered the commoners a chance at having fun for a very few coins.

The announcer, known by the many staff members as Mr. Buoncuore, kept beckoning at the passersby, some of them feeling curious about what lurked inside the mysterious tent that housed the Freak Show, and paying him for an entry ticket. After enough people had gathered around to form a small group, the man flashed his rotten teeth. 

“Welcome ladies and gentlemen, prepare yourselves to witness our fascinating collection of nature’s most bizarre wonders. Please come in, let our tour begin.”

The inside of the tent was poorly lit, only a few lights worked and they hardly illuminated anything. Mounted walls divided the ample room into narrow cubicles where the “freaks” were showcased, at least the stage lights in each cubicle did function properly.

Unlike the jovial environment outside, the interior of the installation was rather gloomy and almost depressive. As the group was guided through the pavilion, they were introduced to the freaks displayed, which included a bearded lady, a pair of conjoined twins, a man covered head to toe in dark thick hair, and many more. Some performed small circus acts to entertain the spectators, others simply sat in sorrowful silence as they were being watched. Poor unfortunate men and women whose only sin was being born with a malformation, condemning them to be mere exhibitions to the morbidly curious side of mankind.

At the farthest end of the pavilion, a single cubicle mounted over a short stage platform and hidden behind a red velvet curtain stood out from the rest. Many believed this one to be the final and most important specimen in the freak show, and couldn’t wait to find out just what was hidden behind the fancy curtain.

Finally reaching the end of the tour, Mr. Buoncuore gathered everyone at the front of the small stage. Many whispered voices expressed their intrigue at the mystery behind the curtain. And soon enough, Buoncuore made an announcement.

“And now, we shall reveal to to you our final and finest specimen of our valuable collection. Prepare yourselves to be amazed, for this is no ordinary freak after all, one so outrageous that mere words can’t describe its cursed existence.”

The crowd stared in complete suspense at the cubicle. After a brief pause, Buoncuore continued with his speech. “I present to you, an unfortunate soul forsaken by God, a soul marked by demons themselves since the day they were brought to this mortal world. I present to you… Il Figlio del Diavolo! The Devil’s Child!”

Immediately the curtain was pulled up, revealing its interior. The crowd gasped at the sight.

A little boy, only five years old, was chained to the floor at the center of the cubicle behind a set of bars. He seemed malnourished, his skin a sickly pale color, and his long black curls were dull and unkempt. The infant wasn’t wearing a shirt nor shoes, only an old, torn pair of pants that reached bellow his knees. Several bruises and cuts covered his fragile body, some were already healed, others were still fresh.

However, what caught everyone’s attention were the deep dark markings that covered the child’s entire torso and arms. Swirls of black ink coursed through the boy’s skin, reaching up to his neck and the tips of his fingers in intricate and surreal paths and patterns. The ink had such a saturated color, an unnatural aura in them, it was obvious they were no regular tattoos; in fact, many swore they could see the ink actually moving on its own.

The sight was so surreal, so unbelievable…

“I-I-It’s a demon! A demon!” One of the spectators yelled at the sight before him. Other voices soon accompanied the first comment. “A demon has claimed this boy!” “That child is not human!”

Uncertainty and confusion took over the small crowd at the sight before them. They pointed at the boy, looked at him in utter disgust, mocked him, whispered profanities and insults at his tiny figure.

And yet the child simply laid still where he was chained with a vacant stare, the spark in his green eyes long lost.

Empty eyes, devoid of any hope.

“Take this you monster!” a teen member of the group picked up a pebble from the dirty ground and threw it at the imprisoned child, hitting him on his head and making him flinch. And soon enough, the rest joined the teen, throwing pebbles at the poor creature, who simply retreated back as far as his shackles permitted and curled up on the ground. Although most of the pebbles couldn’t reach him thanks to both the distance he kept and the bars blocking him, a few still managed to hit their target, leaving another set of cuts and small wounds on his already scarred skin.

The crowd continued their assault relentlessly while Buoncuore simply observed the scene in amusement, his fingers tapping at the handle of the silver cane he always carried pridefully with him.

Tears started to run down the child’s soft face, whimpers shaking his minute body.

“I-I’m not… I-I-I’m not a monster… P-Please stop… I b-beg you…”

He prayed for salvation, for mercy. Every single day, he prayed and prayed…

… But nobody came to save him.

............

His eyes shot open, heavy pants leaving his lungs in a desperate attempt to recover oxygen, a thin layer of sweat covered his face and body making his skin glisten in the dim light of his chamber.

The man sat up on the mattress to try and compose himself, taking deep breaths to calm his racing heart. He ran a hand through his ebony locks, a habit he regularly did when feeling anxious in general.

It was merely a nightmare. One he wished he could forget, but kept coming back to haunt no matter how much he tried.

After a few minutes passed and his body finally relaxed, giving him the chance to stand up from his bed and lightly stumble towards the bathroom. Finding purchase in the old porcelain sink, he opened the tap, letting out a sigh of relief when a stream of clean fresh water managed to come out of it. At least the well that provided for the house hasn’t dried up yet to his fortune.

The man proceeded to wash his face and hair, hoping that the cold water could give him at least a sense of tranquility from the turmoil his unsavory dream caused in him.

Closing the tap, the man looked up and stared at his own reflection in the mirror in front of him. The ethereal markings on his partially nude body greatly contrasted with the almost sickly pale skin, looking almost alive as if the were made of slithering wisps of smoke and ashes. Rising a hand towards his face, he once again slicked his hair back, examining the now uncovered part of his visage. New lines had begun to appear, where they would stop at his neck now they started to crawl up his jawline, through his cheekbones and up into his hairline. Some stopped right below his left eye, others seemed to have redirected towards the bridge of his nose.

This new changes were not unusual though. It had been a long time since the lines had last developed after all.

What would happen if they managed to cover his entire face? He didn’t know. All he knew was that the markings will not stop growing. All he knew was that, although he was indeed intrigued by this phenomenon,

a voice deep inside his head assured him… he would not like the answer at all.

............

“We are starting with ‘Lo vidi e ’l primo palpito’. On your positions now!”

Tech rehearsals had begun for ‘Luisa Miller’, the next play to be performed at the Opera. As the current choreographer and dance captain, Trish strived to make rehearsals flow as smoothly as possible. Major setbacks were inconceivable for her, and with a personality as fierce as a lightning bolt, no one dared to challenge her authority nor her decisions.

All the backup dancers and extras took their respective places, their blocking already approved and stablished with no further changes. Meanwhile, Madame Carlotta beckoned her assistants to fetch her prop bouquet and apply some throat spray to her before starting a few vocal warm-ups. After readying herself, she signaled for the maestro to start the aria.

“Non temer: più nobil spirto, alma più calda di virtù non mai vestì spoglia mortal. M'amò! l'amai!”

As Carlotta paced around the stage, the backup dancers began their routine. You twirled around gracefully, perfectly following the path you were instructed to as the scene required. This was Luisa Miller’s, the main character, first aria. A serenade was brought to Luisa in celebration of her birthday, the townspeople gathering and dancing joyfully around her before settling down and letting her continue her song.

“Lo vidi, e 'l primo palpito il cor sentì d'amore; mi vide appena, e il core balzò del mio fedel.”

Once again, the dancers began moving, this time in line to present Luisa their gifts. Carlotta moved between the townspeople, bowing at each one and receiving her gifts. However, you noticed that her steps were longer than necessary, making her invade the blocked paths of some of the dancers. One misstep from her and she was suddenly right in front of you, completely oblivious to her current position. You tried to step out of her way but-

“Quaggiù si riconobbero nostr'alme in rincontrarsi formate per amarsi Iddio le avea in- AHHH!”

You moved a bit too late. Next thing you knew she had collided against you, which caused her to trip and fall backwards.

“Cut the music!” at Trish’s orders, the conductor and the orchestra immediately stopped. The actors and dancers looked distraught at what just happened, worry visible on their faces.

“I’m so sorry! Are you alright?” You immediately reached out and offered a hand to Carlotta to help her get up, but a quick slap against your palm was the only answer you received.

“What the hell is wrong with you?! Don’t you know how to move across a stage you amateur?” Carlotta screeched angrily at you while her assistants rushed to her side to help her stand on her feet. Some of the actors as well as Nico ran to your side as soon as they noticed how hostile she was acting towards you.

“But I was just following the blocking! I swear I didn’t mean to-“ You tried your best to defend yourself, you were completely sure you had been in your assigned space and you had even noticed how some of your fellow dancers had trouble maneuvering around Carlotta.

“Oh shut up you-“

“Enough!” Trish interrupted Carlotta’s rant, the entire theatre going dead silent at the powerful tone of her voice. She calmly strode towards you both, a composed but stern look in her eyes. “What exactly happened?”

The moment you opened your mouth to explain, Carlotta interjected furiously. “This girl did this on purpose! She stepped out of her place and because of her mistake I tripped. It’s obvious she hasn’t learned the choreography properly, you must place her at the back of the stage right now!”

Before she could continue further with her rant, Trish silently raised her palm ordering her to keep quiet, then turned to you. “(Y/N)?”

Taking a deep breath, you calmly offered your side of the story “… I’m sorry Madame Trish, but I’m pretty sure I was following the steps correctly. I did my best to avoid running into Carlotta but I couldn’t do it on time.”

Trish acknowledged your words before stating. “It seems this was merely an accident and gladly nobody got hurt. Carlotta, please remember that your blocking hasn’t been stablished as of yet and that we could always modify it to grant you more movement and better avoid this kind of incidents. Alright everyone, on your positions once again!”

With a loud clap from Trish, everyone hurried to their respective places. However, before she could leave the stage, she faced Carlotta once more “As for your request, I’m afraid we can’t grant it. Not only is the blocking already approved, but these last seasons (Y/N) has proved to be an excellent dancer and actress, surpassing by far all our expectations. Now please return to your position.”

Carlotta was fuming, her poor assistants trying their best to calm her down.

At that moment, you began to fear that working with her wasn’t going to be easy at all.

............

Unbeknownst to everyone, the Phantom stood hidden at his usual spot in box number 4, his deep eyes watching over the rehearsals taking place at the stage bellow him. As the backup dancers started their routine however, his gaze was fixated on you right away. He observed carefully your graceful moves, your perfectly calculated steps around the stage.

You looked ethereal, beautiful, marvelous…

“AHHH!”

His eyes widened at the incident that just happened before him. The newest soprano had collided against you, her prancing around the stage careless and imprudent. You offered the woman a hand, only for her to swat it away rudely.

“What the hell is wrong with you?! Don’t you know how to move across a stage you amateur?”

Taken aback by the rather explosive words, he was suddenly filled with rage and anger. And the more he watched the scene bellow unravel, the more furious he would become.

He witnessed you trying to help her, trying to defend yourself from her cruel and harsh words. How dare this woman do this to you? You who were a marvelous dancer, you who worked hard to get to where you were now. Hellfire couldn’t compare to the wrath that was coursing through his veins.

“Enough!” The choreographer, Madame Trish as he recalled, stepped on stage. She calmly listened to you both, and rightfully acknowledged that what happened was only an accident and that it definitely wasn’t your fault.

Carlotta was left fuming, even though she requested for you to be moved to the back of the stage, she was denied much to his amusement. He lamented that such an awful woman had to be hired as the lead singer, especially since the former one was wonderfully skilled and kindhearted.

Letting out a sigh, the Phantom continued supervising the rehearsal in secret, wondering if this Carlotta woman would pose a threat to the success of the opera house due to her harsh personality.

One thing was certain though. If she dared to hurt you in any way, he would have to teach her a lesson.

This opera house was his sanctuary, you were his angel of music. And let God and Lord Sparda know, he was willing to defend both from any harm at all cost.

............

“I… I wish to show you something (Y/N)…”

“Huh? What do you want to show me V?”

The boy retreated back briefly through the trapdoor next to him before reappearing with a few objects in his arms. One was a leather-bound book and the other was a long silver cane.

He stood before you awkwardly for a moment, a blush adorning his soft cheeks, before sitting on a wooden crate nearby and patting the spot next to him, silently inviting to take a seat.

Once you settled by his side, he handed you his book. “It’s a book of poetry, an anthology of William Blake’s works. My… my mother gifted it to me. She used it to teach me how to read.”

Your tiny fingers gently traced the details on the cover. Golden lines and ornaments decorated the leather in gorgeous patterns, forming a “V” at its center. Opening it, pages covered in exquisitely handwritten letters and breathtaking illustrations were revealed to your eyes. You could see why V loved this book so much, both the poems and the drawings were absolutely delightful, not to mention that you now understood why V would talk in such a polite and proper way.

“V… this is so beautiful!” you smiled at him and he returned the gesture with a timid one too. Carefully placing the book next to you, you turned to eye the cane still in V’s arms. “May I see that one too?”

The smile vanished from his face. He hesitated a bit, but eventually handed it to you. It was splendidly crafted, its form elegant and the handle had many pretty and mesmerizing details. However, unlike the time he lended you his beloved book, he remained silent.

“Would you tell me more about this cane?” V’s eyes widened, his adorable smile long gone now and his eyes now expressing worry. “I… I don’t know why I have it…” he quietly replied. “The only thing I know is that it’s important for me… but I’m not sure why…”

He looked away from you, and for a moment you thought you saw a small tear forming at the corner of his eye. Quickly placing the cane on the box, you pulled V into a tight hug.

“I’m sorry V… I shouldn’t have asked. I’m sorry for making you feel sad.”

At first he tensed when he felt your arms wrap around his form, but soon melted into your warm embrace and returned the hug. When you finally pulled away, you returned him his book. “Let’s change the subject. How about you read to me?”

Taking the book, his eyes immediately lit up. “Um… I still have some trouble pronouncing certain words, will it be a problem?”

“Not at all! And don’t worry, if you have trouble with a word I can help with it if you like.”

Once again, his lovely blush decorated his cheekbones. You read together, taking turns with each poem. When you both reached one titled ‘The Divine Image’, V asked you for a little help since it contained two words that still gave him a little trouble.

You patiently recited the poem first and then let him repeat it again until he could get it right.

“And all must love the human form, In h-het… heathen, Turk, or Jew…”

Although he was very eloquent when speaking, V still struggled on how to correctly pronounce a couple written words. Still you would always encourage him to keep trying, that one day, he will have no problem reading at all.

“You’re doing great V. Almost there, you can do it.”

“Where Mercy, Love, & Pity d-d-dwell, There God is d-dwelling too.” He gave one last sigh after finishing the poem.

“See? I knew you could do it!”

And for the first time since you met him, V let himself laugh. It was such a lovely and heartwarming sound, one full of joy and innocence that you could never get tired of hearing.

............

In a dark, candlelit room, the Phantom sat in front of his desk. He was working on a particular opera of his own creation, a project he started many years ago and yet it seemed to be nowhere near completion.  Along the years the Phantom wrote many musical pieces, songs and poems, but this particular one was the most important of them all.

This one opera would be his Magnum Opus, his greatest masterpiece.

And once he finished it, he would finally consider his life accomplished and let the darkness take him away.

As his eyes skimmed through the page, he suddenly paused. His gaze turned to a leather-bound book on the desk next to his many drafts and notes. Picking up the book, he let himself rest for a while, opening it and reading its contents once again. The poetry and the illustrations in the book brought some memories back, ones he will always treasure with great joy and nostalgia.

His thoughts wandered back to you, his angel of music. “My angel… La mia angela… I promise to hold you and protect you always…

Just like you held me and protected me many years ago…”

[acnewperspectives]

Technical Difficulties and Fashion Don’ts, Part 2

We last left off on main street rocking our striking new look. Since we’re still up on main street we might as well swing by and get that house estimate from Nook.

I forgot how low that was, seriously. We should totally be able to pay this off by the end of the day. Then we can have a new house by tomorrow.

Time to earn a bit of cash. I picked up some fish from the river and got a new one to donate.

It looks like Portia and Barold keep literally running into each other but for some reason they aren’t initiating any conversations...That’s gotta be awkward.

I popped in to check on our perfect peach tree and it seems to be growing just fine. I don’t know if you need to water saplings but as soon as I get a watering can I should probably try to water it.

Well, I think we’ve kept Isabelle waiting long enough. we should probably go ahead and make our way to the Town Hall.

Yep this is what I figured it was. I need to do that town satisfaction thing right?

Oh. Well then. I guess it’s gonna be a day or so until we can get that started. I forgot that was part of it.

Why is approval that low?? I mean I know I’m new but that’s just kind of insulting. Maybe Barold noticed how I can’t stop staring at his massiv- I mean marvelous lips. But really, Who could?

I don’t remember what you have to do to improve town approval. I think it might just be a thing where you have to actually play for a few days to build up? Hm. This might take longer than I thought.

Well the first order of business is to pay off that down payment for the house. Time to take some items over to the Museum and see if we have any duplicates we can sell.

That is one large detriment to New Leaf. Blathers is boring now. People used to skip all of his dialogue and complain that it was too long and boring, but now it really is pointless and boring. I mean wouldn’t you prefer to have a unique set of dialogue responses that explain some neat key features about the fish you’re donating instead of just....that stock phrase repeated for every item? I know I do. and I miss the old Blathers that actually used to blather about cool things. I hope they bring some of that back in New Horizons.

Oh it looks like we have a duplicate fossil! Those are always good money makers.

Let’s hurry and go cash in.

We’re so close. Really all I should need to do now is find the bell rock and we’ll have enough to pay off the down payment.

I found the bell rock a perfect distance away from a tree for me to wedge myself nicely between them. Didn’t have to dig any holes or anything. I did miss that last hit though.

The bell rock gave me a combined total of 16,000 bells. Quite a lot more than I was expecting. I knew it was easy to get money in New Leaf but I had forgotten it was this easy. I think the currency system works better when there’s a difficulty involved like the older games.

Also found a mineral rock during my hunt for the bell rock.

And just like that our down payment is payed off. We should awake to a brand new house in the morning.

On my way back down I decided to roll up the snowball I kept passing by. I hadn’t seen a second snowball all day though so I dunno if I can make another snowman.

Oh there it is.

I’m just gonna position this guy right next to his big bro over here.

Oh...uhh....that’s...not what I was expecting but okay.

I can’t wait to see this abomination tomorrow once this new one starts melting and they fuse into each other even more.

I managed to find two more villagers bumping into each other but not initiating conversation, so I hung around a bit to see, and they did decide to talk!

I had suspected that Barold was a lazy type but that definitely confirms it. I half expected Peggy to make fun of him but it seemed like a pretty amicable discussion. I guess I’m still used to the kind of arguments you could have in older games. In my old Wild World town Wart Jr basically bullied Stitches to tears and I was so mad.

I was starting to get kinda tired so before I wrap up the play session I figured I’d collect a few more things to donate.

I bet this big boy is a sea bass.

Yep.

After running over and selling the leftover duplicates I think it’s about time to head home and call it a day. I passed by the conjoined snowman twins but found they had glitched back into a normal placement.

That’s really disappointing.

Anyway that just about does it for today. Tomorrow we’ll have a new house and we can get started bumping that town approval rating up a little bit.

Final play session tally:

3 fossils donated.

4 fish donated.

10,000 bell house payment met.

17,050 bells in wallet.

[gdreamzseternal]

I’d like to thank

@myradfemblog for finding an extremely old porn blog of mine. I forgot it existed and it actually makes me sick to see that I was role playing such sick disgusting trauma that I went through thinking it would help when it made me so much worse. Thank you for abusing me over something I repeatedly asked you to give me the link to because I wasn’t going to go through your slander about me to find it.

I want to also say thanks because you pointing that out and me seeing that made me cry both from being triggered and realizing how far I’ve come. That I am extremely kink critical now. When I used to be heavily into it. That I don’t whore myself out anymore because “sex work makes me strong”. God I used to genuinely believe that. Makes me sick. I was so so sick. I was still victimizing myself back then...

But now.. I am a survivor.

Everyone advocated for and ignored the dangers of extreme methods of “beat the child into submission”. (Looking at you old people) It’s so sad cause I still see it now. The way a person who I had a normal discussion with suddenly gets to violently abuse me and degrade me just because they didn’t like what I had to say. Sounds like abusive parents. Everything’s cool til it’s not.

My dad beat my ass cause at 9 years old because I looked him in the eyes and told him to stop drinking cause he was being mean. Telling the truth got me abused. Look at that what a surprise.

Humans communicate differently than other creatures on the planet. Does that mean the other creatures don’t communicate? No. That just means they do things different. They don’t need vaccines because they were meant to survive and live here. If humans didn’t have their science we would all be dead! We are in a race with the planet to see who can kill who first. Will we kill the planet (which kills us too idiots) or will the planet eradicate us via disease and natural disasters and heal itself and start over (we still dead). Or do we chill on our population and help the earth heal by bein more considerate of our surroundings. Yeah none of you like me because I say it how it is without thinking about how it will affect any of you. So that means you get to abuse me. I’m not hurting anyone by simply sharing my views. Yet I am being hurt for speaking my views. I’m not actively slitting the throats of disabled people. I’m not saying we have to round up the retards that already exist and just shoot them. They should just be left in their natural form. Yeah give artificial limbs out cause that’s science but giving a nasty fat fuck a wheel chair cause boohoo they can’t loose weight? Nah true waste of resources. I’m saying we use the science that is our only advantage to prevent that from ever happening again.

All I’m doing is talking on MY BLOG. & I get death threats and told I should be raped by my father all over again. Simply for sharing my feelings on what will 1000000% save the greater good. It doesn’t even have to be permanent. Imagine if every grown man had to get a vasectomy for the next 20 years til all the excited potential parents get throughly processed to see if they are psychologically, psychically, financially and home stable to have children. Then there is a massive database of all the adorable kids waiting to find homes and they get to meet and have a 30 day period where THE CHILD decides if they like their new potential parents. Every couple/person wanting to adopt can adopt up to 2 kids and the kids get a say too.

Humans are not special and I don’t care if you disagree with me. Yet for some reason we literally act like gods gift (complete pun intended) That think who fucking cares what we do to everything around us including ourselves because this is OUR EARTH. We can do what WE WANT. Blah blah blah. Then the WHITE MEN put control on EVERYONE. Then slowly we colored folk said fuck you and made our own lives cause who gives a flying fuck about someone’s skin color except for white people. Then the humans just started literally takin over. Who cares if a bunch of birds nests lived in this tree? I want my new condo that I spend 2-3 months a year in right fucking here so the homes of those birds don’t matter. Let’s massively hunt these animals into extinction for our pleasure. (Okay Hitlers)

We are selfish

I wasn’t raised like you. I wasn’t raised by anyone but my own fucking brain. I never had any positive influences but the voices in my head. We see the world for what it is and not the false reality im creating for myself. I won’t even say ‘most’ if you were raised right because even today in 2019 the system and adults hide the abuse and damage that is really happening. Clearly this whole system isn’t working.

I was raised that literally everything in the whole world was both good and bad. So I learned to be objective and unbiased. Your feelings are what get you killed. Ask any dead kid who didn’t speak up about their abusive parents. And any bleeding out gangbanger who got felt offended by a color and killed someone over it. Someone who felt the desire to get high cause they have no self control and killed some to get $$. But it wasn’t them because even though they felt the need to do the drugs it wasn’t their fault.

So why are we going to keep adding more and more children to the solution when we don’t even know what to do with the poor innocent souls that we have now? We just pretend it’s not that big a deal and keep adding feul (the kids) to the fire (the shitty system). CLEARLY you all know there’s a problem and nothing any of you are doing is working.

So when do we take extreme measures? When do we ACTUALLY make a change. We have nuclear bombs hell ANY bomb and those are okay “when absolutely necessary” but allowing people to have kids they can’t afford, can’t raise, got raped into them, got one night standed with, can’t handle. A BOMB AFFECTS HUMANS AND THE ENVIRONMENT NEGATIVELY. Humans getting neutered (since that’s what you call it for other creatures) will effect the world positively. The bombs are okay though? We can MASS destroy life but we can’t mass PREVENT it from having to be destroyed or emotionally ruined in the first place? Not forever just til we get our shit together.

The abominations and retards. That’s EXACTLY WHAT THEY ARE that’s why no one likes when you mention it. They are like the endless elephant in the room. I will die by the quote, “A few bad apples ruins the whole barrel”. We think that it’s perfectly okay to keep adding bad genes to our makeup while simultaneously praying we live forever. It’s so tiresomely contradicting.

If you can all make such a fucking effort for these retard abominations that you breed. Then you can STOP breeding COMPLETELY until you give the kids homes that need them. Those kids will be more likely to become doctors getting adopted out to good homes. Then if they get left to rot in a shitty system while they walk in a grocery store with their mean foster mom and see a happy young couple PREGNANT with their first child when they could have adopted him. If you choose to give birth instead of adopting then you might as well walk up to a kid in a foster/group home and tell them they are garbage and ain’t ever going anywhere.

I still haven’t had my question answered... why does ANY HUMAN ON THIS ENTIRE PLANET need to breed when there are already so many homeless children?

So what is it are we going to stop breeding and adopt all the kids out to good homes that have been more throughly evaluated than a simple background check and having enough beds and money?

Are we going to keep creating a whole brand new system for the retards when the perfectly able children who would flourish with good parents system is still completely fucked?

Giving whole TV shows to literal human abominations for entertainment. Or humans that are forced to overbreed or sickly do it “for religious reasons”. You get to see how much their disability/struggles makes their life so hard but they are so ~brave and strong~ because society would rather force conjoined twins to spend their lives together or die trying to separate because human euthanasia is wrong until a human kills another human???????

Where does that make sense.

We are going to keep worrying more about the dysfunctional, malfunctioned, rejects of our society before the regular ones? We are going to keep following fake gods we have no proof of so that we don’t have to accept the realities of human nature.

Are we going to not do anything and ignore all the clear issues and keep adding more kids?

The same can be said about the immigrant shit in America. We have so many problems we don’t need anymore people and this place is fucked why would you wanna come here anyway? (I digress on this)

Are we going to keep throwing children out like trash in hopes that someone else will raise the busted nut you let fester in your womb?

Like out of those which one of these which one is the best option? Because all but one are things we are already doing and it isn’t working.

So hate me for being unbiased. But as my therapist (yes I discuss this with BOTH my Ts to make sure I am not delusional) put it. I am not looking at it for the benefit of humans. I’m looking at the benefit of the earth as a whole. I don’t want humans to all die off. But if it’s what it has to take in order for this planet to survive then so be it. There are so many other species, creatures, life on this Planet.

To put it simply you’re all simpleminded.

There is no god because Humans seem to think they are god. & we can breed, have our technology, have our vaccines. But as long as we are still over breeding and not adequately using our resources....

The Human Rights we are fighting for will not matter if there is nothing for the humans to live on.

This Earth is our home and there are too many of us right now. Too many of us doing too many wrong things.

Focus on the Human Wrongs then there will be no need for Human Rights because they will realize they are all just another species on this glorious and beautiful earth.

I know none of you were take anything from this.

You all were taught one way or you think one way and that is it there can’t be any other way and anyone else who thinks differently than that is wrong but at the end of the day my ideas are what will save humanity your ideas are what will destroy it. Your safe space will be irrelevant if you have no where to put it.

A human’s need to add feeling and emotion to everything is our biggest flaw.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk Typing Podcast