#context clues.

[faeriekit]

The "I just pretended I belong here and no one has noticed so far that I'm not supposed to be here" fics are hysterical to me. If someone pretended to be my cousin and showed up in my house they would absolutely get my inattentive ass.

[genderqueer-karma]

crying real tears my japanese teacher came back to the states after going back to japan in 2020

[screenshotsonpinterest]

I try to avoid anti-percabeth posts because defensiveness is not a good look on me and obviously no one is going around saying that the MOA judo flip was Rick’s best writing choice but also like?

Oh no? Did the character who canonically isn’t very good at handling her feelings react poorly to being overwhelmed with emotions? Was that a little cringe? Does that make her an abusuer? Should we call the police? Grow up.

[official-linguistics-post]

oh shit you're a doctor?

sure am, it only took 7 years and most of my sanity

[hinamie]

there's no furbish word for dilf :( sad :(

[weirdglassthing]

It’s IRONIC. god. Nobody understands satire humor these days

First attempt at drawing Gideon and Kremy went surprisingly well maybe I’m destined to become a scaly idk. You guys have no idea how hard it was finding a pose that was easy to draw with Kremy’s alligator mouth. I probably forgot like 400 fey curses I barely remembered gideons flower crown. I’m not drawing that thing but imagine the dulcet tones of the worlds greatest bard (morning Ross) playing in the background.

Guys you can’t blame me I just watched episode 15 and I was possessed and blacked out and woke up staring at this

Ft. Some drunk pixie wives and the only three people that cared about Thaco (I did not look up a reference I just drew a clown)

Anyways pose under cut

It had to be adjusted a bit

[coldbug]

should i post a photo of my car on r/mychemicalromance and act like i just saw it in the wild?

[bitterseaproduction]

Cultural Misunderstandings: The Slow Burn ‘Angst’ Edition

Bilbo — Thinks Thorin’s either married or a widow because Hobbits only wear rings for marriage and alas, here he is falling for a king already spoken for.

Thorin — Thinks Bilbo must be a widow, for only widows wear their hair short and loose like that (ignoring the existence of Men) and thus he can only pine for the rest of his days for the Hobbit who innocently claimed his heart whilst his own lies in someone else’s grave.

The Company — Displays all the unsaid sympathy and heartfelt care for their poor leader and for the little halfling widow, even when Bilbo responds to their more open gestures of comfort with the most baffled of frowns.

Gandalf — Too busy smoking and worrying about Dark Lords to correct obvious mistakes. At least, not until they make it to a post-battle ‘everyone lives’ ending. Then he might think to notice and elucidate someone. And yes, a good bit of yelling would follow, but he’ll wizard storm them into submission and demand the right to officiate the wedding, don’t you worry.

[valc0]

a moment of self-reflection

[cotrieu]

hi vamily i have vtm brain rot again sooo this is my oh see fiammetta ciriaco anastasia palaiologina my lasombra ventrue who's totally not a sabbat emissary she was originally for the vtmb storyline but i decided to make her a stand off character so :) yayyyy

[olivethetiger]

DP is so funny because if I see a drawing of Danny with red eyes is that post-AGIT Dan or mind controlled Danny or Amorpho?? If I see fanart of Danny with long hair is it just that or is it genderbent Danny or is it an older Danielle design?? Danny with a cape could be a silly redesign or specifically Super Danny. If someone mentions “Phantom” they could mean any of at least 3 different characters.

There’s too many Dannys.

[cowboymater]

"jason never wore pants as robin" WRONG he actually has a really silly-looking bright yellow winter costume that he shows up in One time ever. which is even funnier

[powerfultenderness]

Heelloohh! It kenat stop itching my brain so imma share it to everyone, Neighbor könig startling Y/n as y/n let out a questionable sound, and the following nights neighbor könig's he dreamt about that... Please powerfultenderness! THANK YOU!!!!!

🤭 Ooooh boy!!! König's dreams!

Gonna drop a Mature 18+ rating on this one because of those dreams!

König tried to say hi to you, but you ignored him, walking down to the mail room and humming to yourself. He followed you, about to speak up again when he noticed the white earbuds you were wearing. Ah! You couldn’t hear him! A wicked smile crossed his face as he dropped back a few steps while you blissfully continued on your way.

He waited until you had closed your mailbox, attention fully on sorting through the various letters in hand, before he pounced.

“Got you!” He shouted as quickly pulled you in his arms, lifting you in the air enough that your feet swung from the ground.

“Aieee!”

You squealed, mail flying through the air, and kicked your feet out at nothing. Your hands clasped down on his arms as you looked up and behind you to the laughing mad man.

“König! Let me down!”

Still laughing, and with his arms still around you, he set you back on the ground. “You should pay more attention!”

You rolled your eyes and popped your earbuds out and stuffed them in one of your pockets. “Stop laughing!”

Of course that only had him laughing harder, practically leaning on you to keep himself upright.

“König!” You whined and tried to wiggle out of his hold, not very successfully, the man had an iron grip (and chest!).

“Ok! Ok! Sit down, my little bunny.” He once again lifted you from the ground, not nearly as high in the air, and gently sat you down on the table that was pushed against the wall under the mailboxes.

For just a quick moment he was standing between your knees, your thighs spread wide just to accommodate him, and you let out a quiet gasp and whimper in that short moment. He stills, big warm hands grasping at your thighs and you panic. You quickly pull away from him and slap your hands over your face, “it’s not funny, König!” You whine and sniffle and-

“Shit! Are you crying?” He jerked away, as quickly as if he’d been burned and started to fret around you, unsure if he should touch you again.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

A sob racks your body and you hiccup and gasp for a breath.

“I’m sorry, my love! I’m so-” he was leaning down enough to peek at your face, still mostly hidden by your hands, enough to see that you were holding back a smile. “You’re laughing!!” He jumped back and pointed an accusatory finger at you!

You finally let go and dropped your hands from your face as you threw your head back in laughter. “Ahahhahahaha!!! That’s what you get for scaring me, you big jerk!”

You must have looked like two maniacs just sitting in the mail room laughing like crazy, but neither of you could care at the moment what any passerby would think of you.

He helped you gather your fallen mail, and grabbed his mail while he was there too, and the two of you still shaking in laughter, walked you back to your flat.

-

Flowers. Pretty flowers that faded from sight as he nuzzled his face into the soft skin of your neck. “So beautiful.”

You gasped, arching into his touch and whimpering as he nibbled and lapped against your pulse point.

“König,” your arms were around his neck, hands clawing at the back of his shoulders like your life depended on him. Good, he growled as his lips traveled up your neck to your face, you needed him, he pressed his lips against yours, thrusting his tongue into your mouth. He needed you.

You squeezed your thighs around his waist and let out another erotic whimper. You pulled back from him, he tried to follow, but you gently pushed one hand against his chest to stop him. “König,” you whispered and glanced shyly away from him. He didn’t like that. He nudged your chin so you were looking at him again. “What?”

“Can I sit on your face?”

His eyes rolled back and he groaned, hips grinding into you. “Yes! God, yes! Please!”

He picked you up from the mail room table and turned around to set you on his bed, hands flying underneath the skirt of the pretty dress he bought you to pull down your panties, black lace finding a new home in his pocket.

Then he climbed on the bed, laying down while simultaneously pulling you, giggling the whole time, on top of him. You sat up, knees spread apart so that you were straddling his chest. He ran his hands up your thighs, pushing your skirt high against your waist, the fabric pooling down your center. “Come here,” he tried to get you to move higher on him, but you ignored him and leaned down instead.

You softly pressed your lips to his in a gentle kiss. “König.”

He gladly returned your kiss, but upon its natural conclusion he once again tried to entice you to move, just a little more.

“König.” You repeated with a breathy sigh.

“What?”

-

“König!”

“WHAT!”

“Jesus, man! Wake up, it’s go time!”

“Fuck!” König shook the dream from his mind for now, focusing on the mission before him. But the second he had a moment of free time, his thoughts went back to that dream.

[More neighbor König]

[puttingcotlinplaces]

Lamb is in ???????

[vizabel]

we can't keep doing this bill

[troynabed]

annie likes jeff who likes britta who likes troy who likes abed who likes movies and tv. it’s tv, it’s comfort, it’s a friend you’ve known so well and for so long you just let it be with you. i love you. i know. maybe all relationships are made up of logical inspectors and emotional constables, and we need both to make space and time a better place. she can make babies for me. and i can’t? what if abed wants to replace me? it makes me so angry and sad all at the same time. it has to be ok for it to have a bad day or phone in a day. i’m not even your sidekick, i’m your underkick. you’re never going to find another friend because nobody else will ever have my patience with you. if you have to make a decision, i say go with what makes you the happiest. i would face my fears to help you. make me proud, troy, be the first black man to make it to the end. for the first time in my long history of being locked inside things, i knew someone would come. troy will hold on until he is broken emotionally. fortunately, this will not be hard. you were out there somewhere and you weren’t looking for me? i don’t think the lava is here because you’re leaving, i think it’s here because i won’t let go. and it has to be ok for it to get on a boat with levar burton and never come back. because eventually, it all will.