#conversations

[sighcomics]

[defdraws]

[visgrapplinghooks]

I've noticed this thing with autistic people where people never know where our attention is. If I'm looking directly at you, I probably didn't mean to!

I'm not staring at you, I just thought the spot on the wall next to you looked interesting or my neck happened to turn that way.

If I am looking to your side but my ear is facing you then I AM LISTENING AND PAYING ATTENTION! I'm angling my ear to process what you're saying better.

Many allistics seem to think eye contact is the sole or most important determining factor of attention in conversations. Not everyone can pay attention in the same ways, though!

This is why I'm so against the demand for eye contact by society and other people. You're asking me to sacrifice my ability to actually pay attention to you so you can have the outward aesthetic of feeling like someone is paying attention to you.

I mean this leads to a broader discussion on how neurotypical social norms are built around aesthetics of function over true function, but that's a topic for another day lol.

[jadethest0ne]

I had an interesting conversation today about gender and identity with a cis man who happened to have scars that looked like top surgery scars. He said "they're not from as noble a battle wound as top surgery" and I just keep thinking about how badass that makes trans mascs sound (and he's right, y’all are badass)

[thatsbelievable]

[hopelessromanticsavage]

C O N V E R S A T I O N S

[scribefindegil]

Reigen as a con-man/scammer is just so funny and interesting too, because he is also very genuine about helping people. Like, he looks down on the scammers who just confirm a problem or take others’ money and don’t actually try to do anything about their problem.

Like most of the cases he gets and handles are mundane, and he actually handles it while validating what his customer thinks is going on and not calling them crazy or anything.

And then on the other hand, he is very much about the money. No question about it.

See, the thing about Reigen that is so funny and kind of endearing is that he could make so much more money doing almost Anything Else?? The man has plenty of marketable skills! Clearly he was miserable in his water cooler sales job but I'm sure he was good at it, and was probably making more money there than he does with S&S. He wildly (wildly!) undercharges compared to every other psychic. He has canonically accepted vegetable seeds as payment.

Like. He acts like he's all about the money. I think he believes that he's all about the money. But when you look at the evidence . . . he is not. Honestly he should probably raise his prices.

But yeah! He genuinely likes helping people! He's good at his job! We tend to focus on the spirit cases because they're the most Dramatic, but the vast majority of clients don't have anything actually spiritual going on. They have problems that Reigen can solve (And his esper employees can't! Which is really important thematically!!)

Like, yes, he's constantly lying to people. Yes, he feels like he has a duty to actually help his clients solve their problems. Yes, he is blatantly violating child labor laws and taking advantage of a kid to help his business. Yes, he loves that kid more than life itself.

He's perfect. He's a mess. I love him.

[creativepromptsforwriting]

Hey Jana! I've been waiting for a while to ask you a question 🥺

How can two people who are offended and do not talk to each other get along and have a conversation with each other to make peace?

Thanks a bunch and have nice day!

Hi there, so happy it worked out now!

Here are a few ideas for you:

Talking it out ideas

they hear the other one talking to someone else about the situation and realize that they need to have a talk themselves

realizing that the other person didn't mean to offend them

realizing that there had been a misunderstanding that could have been easily resolved if they had just talked about it

their friends pressuring them to have a talk

being put in a situation that requires them to speak to each other which leads to them talking about their issues with each other

it becomes unbearable not being able to talk to the other one so they finally break down and talk it out

Hope this helps!

- Jana

[agirlwithglam]

becoming a good conversationalist

Tips and conversation starters!

TIPS TO BE A GOOD CONVERSATIONALIST + BE FUNNY

lil tips:

a huge part of people wanting to be around you again, is how they emotionally feel when they're around you.

go into a conversation not thinking "i hope they like me" but thinking "i hope i have fun!"

remember that they are just people, just human. they aren't a whole lot different to you! you live, you die; they live, they die. dont be so scared and uptight about talking to someone.

conversation starters:

things that they've never done but they want to do

find out about their interests

find out what they like and dont.

which places do you really want to go to?

what is the best place/ country you've been to?

what are your fears?

ask about food

what foods and drinks do you like?

your favourite restaurant?

favourite chocolate?

recommended youtubers/ videos:

Joshua Otusanya (self improvement + the BEST conversation tips!)

Tam Kaur (mainly talks about self improvement but also has socialising/ becoming an extrovert content)

Xoxo, Vanilla

[heavensghost]

if I could save you from yourself I would

[fayrobertsuk]

Okay listen, because nothing was ever going to prepare me for this, but when I first came out*, I had no idea what a profound effect that was going to have on other people.

I thought I was braced for the bad stuff, how some people’s fear about what your simple existence means can dampen, darken, and corrode your joy, your sense of safety. I wasn’t prepared for the scale of that, but that’s not what this post is about.

I had no fucking clue that my existence as a queer person taking up space could mean so much joy and relief for others. And I was utterly unprepared for how that has only increased as I’ve aged, and as the world has become more connected. Eventually, a young trans man explained it to me, saying that seeing me just... living, 30 years older than him, brought him hope, a model for the future, that there was a future, for the first time. Several others chimed in to say the same and I felt airless for a dizzying second. I hadn’t been able to really understand, until that point, why various younger queer folk would thank me on Twitter, call me and others like me icons. We’d shrug: We’re just... being, we’d say. Exactly, they’d reply.

I thought that things were easier for young, queer folk now. That they have more access to information and vocabulary and acceptance than we did, growing up. Hell, I might never have worked out my gender stuff if younger folk weren’t out there being loud about their pronouns, breaking down microlabels, and sharing their feelings about their existence.

And that’s also true, but being visibly queer, and over 30, and it not being a tragedy? That gives people enormous hope. That’s a landmark to reach, a future to picture yourself in. My life is nowhere near perfect, but it exists.

And heavens, it’s good to know that these proliferating silver hairs and wrinkles are beautiful signs for those who long for the decades’ stretch between now and then.

_____

(*still not quite realising that it’s something you do again and again, and sometimes additionally, if - like me - you find yourself going “oh, and this thing too”)

[blackbird-brewster]

HELP! I made this edit last night when I was loopy on my meds and I sent it to my partner while they were asleep and totally forgot until I opened our chat this morning.

(Context: We just watched 05x03 - Ascension and for absolutely no reason Teal'c was wearing a flame button up and cowboy hat. I love him)

[random-xpressions]

How honest could a conversation get? Yes, you can modulate your voice. Yes, you can be more charming. Yes, you can be more eloquent. Yes, you could go at great lengths and prolong for hours. But how honest were you in it - that must be the question. You see there's a lot of pretence anyway in our world that we need to at least keep our conversations free of it. There must be no need to impress. There must be no desire to show off. A plain and honest conversation could be the finest therapy you could ever get. Best part is that it becomes highly contagious. The moment you become upright honest, the other person will naturally bring down all their guards and even before you or even they themselves know would share such matter which was never even thought of being shared in the first place. That's the blessing of honesty. Something begins to flow between two souls. It is this very truthfulness in their exchange that builds the bond and deeply connects them. The differences slowly begin to dissolve. The distances are evaded. The familiarity kicks in. Until finally you both feel like you've reached home. That's the pinnacle of human interaction - to find solace in one another, to reach the very climax of journeying, each one penetrating into the other through the medium of words until a time comes when they would actually in reality transcend words. They would have evolved beyond speech. At that phase, there are more deeper energy plays between them whether it be with their glances or a touch that speaks a thousand words or a kiss that feels like heavens. Communication though begins with words, there are stations of ascendency, beyond a point, there's this pure rhythm between them that it almost becomes like a dance between their souls. May you hit that point with someone!

Random Xpressions

[unladyboss]

MORE SYDCARMY CONVERSATIONS

Outside the BEAR in the cold taking a break

Moving back and forth in unison from the cold

Mirroring each other

CARMY gets a cigarette

Without thinking about it he gently moves Sydney out of the way of men with equipment

He motions they should probably move by Syd wants to stay and talk some more

Renovation on the outside of the BEAR continues

If that pole wasn't between them Carmy could easily hug her again

He made every attempt to touch her

[letteredlettered]

Me: Okay, I understand a little more about how you misunderstood that obscure tumblr reference.

Girlfriend: So you admit I have grounds.

Me: Sure.

Girlfriend: I am a wealthy landowner.

Me:

Girlfriend: I have tenants.

Me:

Girlfriend: I dine with six and twenty families!

[scribefindegil]

i feel like mp100 is one of the few anime (and shows in general tbh) that lets weird girls be weird and i appreciate that

YESSSSSS!! I love how weird the girls get to be! They're not cute or quirky in that smoothed-over, palatable way a lot of supposed-to-be-weird characters end up being; they know what they want and they're going to be absolutely deranged about it. And it's that very specific brand of middle school weirdness, too, where they're leaning into it extra hard because they can see all these important responsibilities looming on the horizon and soon they won't have time to look for aliens or bully their friend into being the figurehead of their pet cult!

I love how when Mezato gets introduced you get like five minutes of going "okay, she's the Plucky Girl Reporter, I know this archetype" but NO! Actually she is so much weirder than that! She wants to start a cult for fun! And she wants it to be a good cult, so she's swanning around ineffectually trying to teach Mob leadership skills while leading the entire Psycho Helmet Religion on talking about how she'll produce their founder really soon, okay, she promises!

And Tome! She's loud and brash and kind of abrasive and pretends to cry to get her way and doesn't take no for an answer--and her friends love her, and the narrative takes her emotions seriously, and she GETS TO MEET ALIENS, and everything about her is just SO good!

I just read the Reigen manga and I'm obsessed with how Tome starts high school and is like "I'm an adult now. I can only like boring things and I must befriend these boring people" and is MISERABLE, obviously, and then the second she gets these "boring" girls to let their guard down they turn out to be absolutely as weird and intense and obsessive as she is! She's been going around thinking they're normal and dull because they're better at masking than she is and then it turns out that one of them has a special interest in eating bugs! Amazing, fantastic, no notes.

ONE really said Weird Girl Rights with MP100 and I will be forever grateful.