this night together - chapter fourteen (j.yh + s.mg)
chapter fourteen: what we mean to each other
chapter summary: making amends is hard, moving on is hard, but you have a home now in a way you've never had before. together, you move forward through it all.
warnings/notes: this chapter still deals with the aftermath of the attack, so all previous warnings apply, but i think you'll see we're coming out of it now and into much happier times. this is the start of an absolute fluff fest, and we'll be back to smut in the next chapter. specific warnings for: discussions of physical attack, anxiety, ptsd, consent conversations, past s*xual assault (mentioned in passing), issues with police and the legal system because lbr the cops aren't doing anything good for assault victims, and reader has a triggering moment with her neck but she works through it just fine
pairings: alpha!yunho x alpha!mingi x omega!reader
genre: smut, a/b/o/omegaverse, angst, fluff, romance, polyamory
word count: 14.3k
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It’s been days. Days of staying safe behind the walls of their apartment, days of dodging calls from your friends, days of cocooned self preservation. They haven’t left you for a single minute. You spent the weekend trading off who’s lap you were cuddled on and bickering over episodes of Single’s Inferno and you’ve never needed anything more.
Slowly though, things start to shift.
You’re showered, for one. And Yunho and Mingi both have settled back into their routines as best they can without leaving the apartment. Video games, mindless scrolling, paging through books and cooking balanced meals instead of another day of takeout.
On Monday, Seonghwa confirms your worst suspicions by texting you a photo of the formal letter he received via Minseok’s attorney. You expect Yunho and Mingi’s are in the mail. Every time your phone chimes you expect it to be the police or some other official legal summons. Your mind has started to turn over every detail of the event with calculated detail, and your internet history stretches long with research.
By Tuesday, you’ve caved and finally started answering Wooyoung’s texts with more than just single word responses or emoji confirmations that you’re still alive. The moment you do, he takes the opening and runs with it just like you knew he would.
As you wait for the hot water for your tea to boil in the kettle, you re-read his most recent text again.
Do you want to get out of the house for a bit? We can try that new spot by the bookstore?
Your stomach feels tight at the idea of going out and you do your best to tap out a reply that you think sounds casual and relaxed - Maybe next time, let’s just catch up and relax here?
You watch the message send and deliver and in nearly real-time it flicks over to read. Dots appear as he types.
Sure - his message reads - I’ll be there in an hour
An hour. You shouldn’t be so nervous to see your best friend, but the idea of opening up your little sanctuary to anyone right now feels a little fraught. The kettle whistles, and you hear feet shuffling against the vinyl flooring as Yunho crosses over into the kitchen and you lock your phone and Wooyoung’s messages away so you can focus.
“Hey,” You murmur, giving him a smile as you pull the kettle off the heat.
“Hey,” Yunho smiles back, leaning against the opposite counter, “everything okay?”
“Mhm,” You tell him, just a little white lie.
“Is Woo still coming by?” He questions.
“Yeah,” You nod, setting the kettle on a pad so it doesn’t damage the countertop, “he said around an hour,”
Yunho nods and then slides a bit closer to you, his hand stroking up and down your back once until he settles it on your hip. “Hey,” he says again, “can we talk?”
A nervous pang strikes in your gut, but he doesn’t look upset, so you take a guess at what he wants, “Is it okay that he’s coming?”
“Wooyoung?” His brows draw together, “Of course, that’s not what I meant,”
“Oh,” You turn towards him more fully, leaning against the counter with him, “okay, what’s up?”
“I want to apologize,” He says, swallowing tightly.
“Apologize,” You blink.
He nods.
“Okay,” You can see how whatever he’s about to say is bothering him, the stress under the surface, but you have no idea what he’s sorry for.
“Listen,” He reaches and takes your hand, pulling you a little closer to him, “I know you know I’m sorry, but I haven’t said it clearly and you deserve that,”
“Oh,” You relax further into his space until you can feel your bodies brushing together, the warmth radiating off his skin.
“The way I reacted at the studio after your last heat was wrong,” He says in a rush of air as he laces your hands together, “and I haven’t gotten the chance to really say that,”
“It’s okay,” You shake your head, soothing him a little, “you don’t have to,”
“No,” He insists with a squeeze of your fingers, “I do. That day, I was worried and jealous and confused, but I let my anger get the better of me and that’s not something I normally do.”
You squeeze his fingers back, letting him know you’re listening.
His eyes flick up from your joined hands to your eyes as he continues, “It’s not something I should have ever put on you or something you should ever see,”
“People get angry,” You start to say.
He’s firm when he shakes his head, “People get angry, but I don’t get angry at you. Ever.”
“Yunho,”
“I yelled at you,” He squeezes your hands, “I cursed at you,”
“I did the same thing right back,” You remind him.
“It’s not the same,” He presses, brushing right past your words, “and I’m apologizing because I’m telling you, y/n, it will never happen again.”
“You think we’ll never have a fight?” You smile, “That’s optimistic,”
“This isn’t a joke,” He sighs, “please,”
“I’m sorry,” You tuck closer to him, unlacing your hands so you can snake your arms around his middle, “and I appreciate you apologizing for that fight, but I was upset you were being possessive and emotional after all the cold shoulder, you yelling wasn’t really high on my list of concerns,”
He’s quiet for a moment, but then he nods, “I’ll get to that in a second, but will you hear me on this one thing?”
“I’m listening,”
“I hate to bring it up again,” He grimaces a little, “but I’ve just spent four days watching you jump at every noise around the apartment and wake up every night fucking terrified,”
Your eyes shoot down.
“And before I apologize for all the other ways I’ve been an ass to you,” His warm hands settle on your skin, thumb brushing along your jaw, “of which I know there are many,”
You smile at that.
“Yelling at you like that,” He sighs, “talking to you like that has been bothering me for months. I need to apologize for it because I need you to know that you’ll never, ever hear it again. Mingi said his peace, but it’s important to me that you know you’re safe with me in every way. If we’re going to do this, I need you to know you can tell me anything, including telling me off when I make mistakes, and I won’t get angry like that again.”
“I already know that,” You look up, meeting his firm gaze and reaching for his cheek, “and I hope you understand that I know the difference between how you were angry then and what he did and how he spoke to me.”
“I just had to say it,” He nods, “I would hate it if anything I ever did made you afraid to be honest with me, or made you feel like you’ve been feeling the past few days, I’d never,”
“Baby,” You cup his cheeks in both hands, holding his eyes so he hears you fully, “I forgive you, and I am not afraid or uncomfortable with you or with Mingi. Not at all.”
“Good,” He exhales hard, his eyes a little shiny and you press forward to wrap your arms around him and hug him close, his arms closing around your back.
“If you’re being idiots,” You kiss his chest through the thin fabric of his t-shirt, “I’ll tell you you’re being idiots,”
He laughs low, the vibration running through your chest, “Good.”
“And if I’m being an idiot,” You add, “I’m not going to freak out if you get pissed at me or yell at me,”
“I appreciate that,” He squeezes your shoulders, “but I don’t want to be the guy that yells, that’s not really an alpha stereotype I’ve ever wanted to fit.”
“Okay,” You nod against him.
He clears his throat a little roughly and you’re about to pull away but he holds you steady for a moment, “There’s one more thing,”
Your hand strokes a line down his back, as you hum softly, “Hmm?”
“I have more to say and to apologize for,” You can feel his heart beating a little faster under your cheek and you stroke his back again, “but I’m still figuring out how to do that, and it might not be fair of me to ask, but I wanted to see if you can be patient with me for that.”
“Yunho,” You murmur, “what’s going on?”
“I, uh,” His fingers flex tightly against your skin, “I started seeing someone,”
“Someone?”
“Professionally,” He adds, “Mingi used to and I know it helped. I didn’t think I needed to, but I think we can both agree I am not the best at managing my own emotions here,”
“Oh,”
“So,” He breathes, “after our fight, when I finally cooled off and realized what we did I asked him for a referral. I’ve been meeting with her once a week and it’s been helpful, but I’m not ready to apologize to you for the rest of it until I understand why I treated you like that,”
Emotion fills your chest like a balloon and you nod into him, “Yunho,”
He clears his throat again, “Sorry,” he says, “this is a little uncomfortable for me to talk about, but I’m working on it,”
You wriggle out of his arms to find his face again and press up on your tiptoes to catch his mouth, kissing him with as much surety as you can before you lean back, “That means everything to me,” you tell him, “everything. You have all the time in the world from me, okay?”
“Yeah,” He smiles, “good, okay,”
“Is it helping?”
“Definitely,” He nods, “it’s almost like the professionals know what they’re talking about,”
You smile up at him.
“I know I mentioned it before,” He adds quickly, “and I won’t press it, but if you do feel like it would be helpful for you too, you can come to me and I can ask my therapist for some numbers for you to call. I’ll even help set up an appointment if you need that,”
Your chest goes tight at the thought, “I’ll let you know,”
“Okay,” He smooths a hand up and down your back, “no pressure,”
“For sure,” You manage.
His lip quirks up and he presses a long kiss to your forehead as he gives you one more squeeze, “I said I won’t press, don’t panic,”
“Sorry,” You breathe.
He makes a noise dismissing that and then steps back, “So,” his eyes are bright again, everything equalizing back to normal with his smile, “you were making tea, can I help?”
Your shoulders relax, tension bleeding out of you in an instant, “No,” you turn back to the warm kettle, “but can I make you a cup?”
“Sure,” He pulls two teacups down from the cupboard, “so Woo will be here in an hour?”
“Mhm,” You tap your phone to light up the screen to check for any other texts.
“Got it,” He nods, “would you feel alright with Mingi and I stepping out for a while?”
“Out?”
“I need to run by the studio and check in on things,” He explains, “and we need to get some food in here. I figured we could do that while Wooyoung keeps you company,”
“Yeah,” Your heart picks up a little at the thought, but you press that feeling down and drop a teabag in each of your cups, “I’ll be just fine,”
“Good,” He drops another kiss to your hair, keeping his fingers lingering on your skin while you pour hot water into your cups.
“Do you,” You almost stop the question, but you find the words bubbling out of your mouth before you can second guess, “do you need to leave right away?”
Yunho smiles wide, taking the kettle from your hands as he shakes his head, “No,”
Your heart eases a little.
“Let’s have these together,” He nods to the tea and picks up both cups, “we’ll go when Woo gets here,”
You follow him out into the living room, and he sets the cups down on the table before settling himself into the corner cushions and reaching up for you. It’s easy to take his hand and to melt into the familiar position on his lap, and you let him draw you in close and cuddle you, his arms wrapped securely around you as he nuzzles your cheek with his nose.
You sigh, resting your hands on his chest and turning your face a little to catch his mouth in a kiss.
He hums pleasantly against your mouth, “Is it strange to say that I’ll miss you while we’re out?”
You smile, shaking your head, “No,”
“Will you miss us?” He pecks your lips again.
“More than I want to admit,”
“You know,” Yunho smooths his hands over your body to rest in their familiar homes, one on your thigh and the other curled around your waist, “I hate what happened, and I wish I could take all the bad memories away, but I’m also so glad you’re here with us,”
“I know what you mean,” You nod.
“The months we spent apart were terrible,” He confesses, kissing you softly.
“We’ll have to make up for lost time,” You agree quietly.
“A proper date,” He smiles, “or a vacation somewhere warm?”
“Mm,” You hum, thinking of being stretched out on a beach somewhere with your boys on either side of you, “perfect,”
“I’ll think on that,” He runs a hand down your hair and relaxes back into the couch, “you deserve something nice,”
Twisting on his lap you reach for both of your teacups before settling back into the same, comfortable position, “I think it would just be nice to come over here without having something traumatic happen beforehand,”
He frowns a little.
“I’m kidding,” You nudge him softly, “kind of,”
“I know,” He nods, “still,”
“Yeah,” You quietly agree, taking the first sip of your tea.
Yunho takes a sip too, and then hums a short, quick laugh, “This smells like you,”
“Like me?”
“The tea,” He takes another sip and nods, “you smell just the same, but sweeter,”
“Do you like it?” You find yourself asking.
Yunho’s head cocks slightly to the side, a line between his brows, and then he says, “Have I not made it clear how much I love your scent?”
Your cheeks heat and he smiles at the way your skin reddens.
“Sweetheart,” He shifts, pulling you in while still being careful of the tea, pressing warm, lingering kisses over your jaw to the hollow of your ear, “if I could drink you instead, I would.”
You swallow, heat curling in your belly.
“Soothing tea,” He murmurs, “sweet honey,” he adds with a kiss, “and the willow is sharp and fresh. You wake me up and calm me down all at the same time,”
Your pulse quickens, and slowly your head drops to the side, extending the column of your neck to his lips.
He takes it slow, remembering the way you jerked back in bed a few nights before, and he’s careful not to press too firmly or give you any inclination that he’s going to touch you with anything but his lips.
“You smell like home,” He murmurs, his hand coming up to cup your head in his wide palm, kissing just a little lower still.
Your muscles are stiffening up at the feeling of his mouth getting lower towards your exposed gland and your fingers tighten on his shirt where you hold yourself steady.
“I’ve got you,” He whispers, “stay with me,”
You nod, just a little, enough to tell him not to stop, “W-what else?”
He smiles against your throat, “Well,” he kisses again, to punctuate his words, “when you’re happy, really happy or excited, there’s lemon too,”
Your breath feels staggered, thready, and you focus on the feeling of him and the warmth of the teacups against your thigh.
“When you want us,” He takes a deep inhale, sighing hot against your skin, “it’s all honey, thick and syrupy. After your heat I smelled that honey here for weeks,”
You feel a whine building a little in your throat, and you bite down on your lip to keep it buried. Your body feels like it’s fighting itself with every touch of his mouth, hot arousal knots up at his scent mingling with yours and at his words, but the isolated touch alone has you fighting little flashes of a place that isn’t here and isn’t him.
“I’ve got you,” He repeats, “I love you,”
The reply settles on the tip of your tongue, but then he presses one last closed-lipped kiss directly over your gland and withdrawals entirely. You blink hard, a shudder running up your spine.
“Alright?” He checks, smoothing his hand down your hair again.
You nod, letting your fingers unknot from his shirt while you collect yourself.
“Hopefully that answers your question,” He clears his throat softly.
You start to nod, but the sound of the bathroom door opening cuts through the moment and you start, tea spilling over the lip of your cup onto your fingers.
“It’s Mingi, baby,” He assures you.
“I know,” You have to tear your eyes off the hallway though.
His mouth is set in a concerned little line, and you know he’s probably thinking about your conversation in the kitchen again, but he lets it lie and doesn’t push it, just like he promised.
Mingi appears a moment later, a towel slung around his hips and his shoulders and hair wet from the shower. He smiles widely when he sees you both, “What’s going on in here?”
Yunho raises up his cup, “Tea,” he smiles, “nothing much,”
“Mm,” Mingi nods and stretches, “nice,”
“Will you be ready soon?” Yunho asks, “Wooyoung will be here in a bit,”
“Yeah, sure,” He confirms and then glances at you, “you’re good with us going out?”
“I’m good,” You confirm.
“I’ll stay if it would make you feel better,” Mingi adds, “I can hide in the bedroom and listen to music or something if you want privacy,”
You love them both so much in this moment you feel like your chest might crack right open on its own, and you shake your head at him with a smile, “No, I have to get comfortable at some point, it might as well be while Woo is here with me,”
He nods, “Well, we won’t be too far, just call us and we’ll turn around.”
“Thank you,” You reach up to take his hand and he twines his fingers with yours immediately.
Yunho shifts, pressing his lips against your shoulder, “Are you and Woo going out anywhere?”
He’s clearly trying to be subtle, but you hear the anxious note in his voice and it occurs to you that they might be just as nervous leaving you as you are staying here without them.
You shake your head, “No, just staying here,”
“That’s good,” Mingi adds a little too quickly, “if you do go out, would you let us know?”
“I will,” You promise them, “but you don’t have to worry,”
“It’s in our nature to worry over you,” Yunho sighs, “but I think we’re both trying not to be overbearing about this whole thing,”
“Trying,” Mingi shrugs, “but also the idea of not knowing where you are feels like it might give me hives,”
You laugh at the image, easing back into Yunho’s chest.
“To be clear,” Yunho shoots Mingi a look, “that’s in a nice ‘we care about you’ way, not in a ‘controlling boyfriend’ kind of way,”
“Relax,” You tell them both, “I get why you want to know, it’s the same reason I want to know where you are.”
“Studio first,” Mingi offers without you asking and your chest warms, “then groceries, and then I want to swing by that cafe that has that caramel cheesecake you like, then home,”
“Don’t say we don’t have to,” Yunho adds, “we want to,”
You smile as he takes the words right out of your mouth.
“Plus, I want some,” Mingi says with ease.
You’re not used to this type of relationship yet, having alphas of your own who actually want to be with you and take care of you, who worry for you and feel for you in all the deep nervous ways you feel for them. You hush the nagging voice in your mind that tries to tell you not to show them how much you need them, the voice that doesn’t want you to jump too fast, you already know what you get by listening to that voice.
Instead you ask them what you want to ask, “How long do you think you’ll be gone?”
“Two hours,” Yunho offers, “maybe three at the most,”
“Okay,” You exhale, weight dropping away from your shoulders, “that’s perfect,”
“We’ll let you know,” Mingi adds, “and if you need anything special while we’re out, we can stop,”
You shake your head, “I’m fine,” You assure them, “a little anxious, but you know, it’s good for me.”
Mingi smiles warmly, brushing his hand over your cheek and tilting your face up with his thumb and forefinger on your chin, “We’re a phone call away,”
“I know,” You nod.
Yunho sighs as Mingi’s hand drops away, and he kisses your shoulder again, “It’s funny,” he says, “I really don’t want to leave you,”
“We did just spend three months not seeing each other and in a state of constant relationship limbo,” You point out and give him a squeeze, “we really went from nothing to a whole lot of something fast,”
“Not too fast?” Mingi checks, trying to sound casual.
“No,” You say, “and even if it is, I don’t care,”
“We’ve always felt right together,” Yunho adds, “we’re just letting ourselves enjoy it now,”
He’s never said something so true.
Mingi gets dressed and collapses onto the couch next to both, pushing closer into your space with Yunho until you’re both practically on his lap, but it works. You stay knit close together until there’s a knock on the door and then it’s fast kisses goodbye and big hugs from your best friend, and before you can really process it you’re without them for the first time in days.
Your stomach is fluttering, a nervous quiver deep in your gut that you really don’t want Wooyoung to over-analyze. A moment later you find yourself back on the couch in the warm spot Yunho left, wrapping yourself in the blanket you had all shared the night before. You can smell them on it, earthy, warm, and sweet.
Wooyoung watches as you start to relax, and he takes a seat right next to you to keep close, a closed smile on his lips.
You can’t believe you miss them already.
They must miss you too though, because Mingi only makes it a scant ten minutes before he texts you, his message lighting up your phone - Forgot to say I love you - I love you.
“What?” Wooyoung nudges you under the blanket.
You pass your phone to him and he reads the message, his eyebrows shooting up high, “I leave you alone for a few days and you’re all saying ‘I love you’s?”
You grab the phone back and tuck it away, “That’s the thing about life changing trauma,” you laugh, “it really accelerates the big feelings,”
Wooyoung nods, keeping things light, but finds your hand on the back of the couch so he can hold it.
“Also we’re not all saying it,” You confess, “they’re saying it,”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean they’ve told me,” You explain, “the day after the studio we had this big talk,”
“Don’t tell me they put all that shit on you like that,” He wraps his hand around yours, “y/n,”
“Not like that,” You shake your head, “it’s actually hysterical, they thought that Seonghwa and I have been dating,”
His eyes go wide, “What?”
“It’s truly the longest story of miscommunication,” You tell him, “at this point I think someone should write a book about me and make it a romantic comedy,”
“Erotica,” Wooyoung smirks.
“Shut up,” You swat at him.
“There have been too many good orgasms for a romcom,” He shrugs.
You roll your eyes, “Anyways, it turns out the whole not talking period while you were all away was just me pining but feeling like I fucked it up, and them pining but thinking I had moved on with Hwa,”
“Damn,”
“But when they realized that they were wrong about that,” You continue, “we just got it all out there,”
“And they love you,” He smiles a little, “and they actually said it,”
“Yeah,” You soften into the cushions.
“I hate to ask the obvious,” He squeezes your hand, “but if you’re so happy about that, why haven’t you told them? You do love them?”
“So much,” The words fly out like you’re defending something, and you run a hand through your hair as you get your real thoughts steady, “I do, Woo, so much. We’re scent matches,”
“I know,” He nods warmly.
“You do?”
“Anyone with eyes can see that,” Wooyoung smiles, “well, apart from you three.”
“Thanks,”
He nudges your thigh with his foot under the blanket, “Honestly, though, after what happened I could see it on them. You couldn’t keep your hands off each other, and they kept flanking you, watching you like you might disappear,”
A memory of the studio plays like a clip in your mind, the way they held you between them, the three of you against everything. You nod, “They’ve been doing that for days,”
“Which…” Wooyoung trails off, trying to guess where your head is, “you’re happy about?”
“I am,” You nod emphatically, “and I love them, I just… I can’t get the fucking words out of my mouth,”
He sobers a little, sliding closer to you on the couch so he can draw your legs over his lap and give you exactly the kind of comfort you need, “I’m listening, babe, talk to me,”
“I don’t know why,” You hold his hand tighter, “but every time they say it, and I think I’m going to say it back, I’m right back in that room with Minseok’s teeth on my neck and I can’t,” your chest feels tight, “I can’t get it out,”
His eyes soften, empathetic in the way that only he can be, “Does being in love with them scare you?”
“No!” You pull your hand back from his.
“Babe,” He takes your hand back and holds tight, “I’m not saying they scare you, I’m saying does being in love, being vulnerable like that scare you?”
Your shoulders drop, “A little, but,”
“But?”
“I thought about it for three months,” You argue, “I had it rehearsed, I knew exactly what I wanted to say and the big reveal was supposed to be the ‘I love you’ part not the ‘I’m sorry’ part,”
“Your plans on that kind of fell apart when that asshole tried to claim you,” Wooyoung pushes back a little.
“Yeah, no shit,” A flurry of anger bubbles in your belly.
He nods, “And now you’re off kilter,”
“You could say that,”
“You rarely do anything without thinking it through,” He offers, this thumb drawing a comforting line over your palm, “and your plan got fucked, and you’re emotionally vulnerable, and traumatized, and stressed. You feel like you’re out here without a life vest,”
His words stun you silent.
“And this thing you worked up in your mind for three months is now totally derailed,” He continues, “am I on the money?”
You nod.
“Can I ask you something?” He says.
You nod again.
Wooyoung asks this question softly, his voice quiet and gentle, “Do you want to bond with them?”
Your heart thumps in your chest.
“It’s just you and me,” Wooyoung soothes you, “and whether or not you bond with them is your choice, okay? But, babe, is that something you think you’ll want?”
Suddenly you remember the feeling of your heat with them. The way you begged for them, the way it felt so right and so sure that you belonged to each other. You remember how your mind spun imaginary futures that all ended the same way.
Silently, you nod.
“Loving them isn’t bonding,” He murmurs, “you can just love them for now at your own pace.”
Tears prick at the back of your eyes, “What if I can never do it? They can barely touch my neck without me falling apart, what if I can never take a real claim?”
“Oh, babe,” He pulls you towards him, crushing you to his chest, “I wish you called me earlier, you shouldn’t be thinking like this,”
“It was so terrible,” You confess into his shoulder, “I can’t even tell you, I don’t even know how to explain,”
“You don’t have to,” He hushes you, a hand stroking up and down your back, “and I don’t know if this is going to help or hurt, but I know right now you feel like there’s no way you’d ever be able to take a claim without it being scary and awful, but someday you might be able to without even thinking of him.”
A few hot tears escape your eyes.
“And I know I give Yunho and Mingi shit,” He adds, “but you know that both of them would rather die than do something to hurt you or scare you,”
“And if I can never bond?” You manage.
“Then I’d say thank god your scent matches are two men who would never, ever push you into a bond you weren’t ready for,” He says, squeezing you tight, “and I think if you asked them, they’d tell you that they’d rather be with you unbonded and happy than bonded and in pain.”
“You’re right,” You wipe away the wetness on your cheeks, “I know you’re right,”
“They’re not going to try to push you into a bond just because you love each other,” He lets you lean back but he slides his hand back into yours, “especially not now,”
“I know that,” You sigh, “rationally, I was just,”
“I’m telling you, I get it,” He eases you, “sometimes you go through something and you think a part of you is wrecked forever, that you’ll never be able to do something again or feel normal again, but you will. I promise,”
You know the truth of him so suddenly you can’t stop the words, “Woo,” you feel your heart beating faster, “did something happen?”
“A long, long time ago,” He says softly, “and today’s not the day for that story, but I’m telling you it does get better and it does soften in your memory and someday your alphas are going to touch your neck and you won’t even think about it, it just won’t be there anymore.”
Grief and relief mingle in your gut at his words, and you want to ask him more, to be there for him like he’s been there for you but you can see it in his face, today isn’t the day for that story.
You squeeze his hand, “I love you, Woo,”
“I love you too,” He assures you.
Silence sits between you for a moment while you turn over his words, and though you can’t imagine the day he’s describing, you still believe him. You have to. You don’t know what happened to him or when, but you’ve never met someone as bright and open and happy as him, and you have to hold onto that truth.
You look down at your combined hands, “Yunho offered to make an appointment with a therapist for me,”
“Say yes,” Wooyoung replies without a thought, “I waited years and I wish I hadn’t,”
“Yeah?”
“Does he have a contact?” Wooyoung asks, drawing your eyes back up, “I have some options for you if not,”
“He said he can ask his therapist for a referral,”
“His therapist?” Wooyoung grins, “I knew I liked him,”
“You’ve been friends for years,” You nudge him.
“Liked him for you,” He corrects, “that’s different,”
“Yeah, yeah,”
“My best friend deserves an alpha who is fully therapized and capable of complex emotions,” Wooyoung says with confidence, “nothing less.”
“Don’t mention that I told you,” You add quickly, “he told me that in confidence, it just slipped out,”
“I wouldn’t,” Wooyoung shakes his head, “that’s private. But between you and me, I’m glad to hear it.”
“Me too,” You sigh.
“And as far as you going?” Wooyoung circles back to the real question at hand, “Say yes, the sooner the better. If Yunho’s offering to help set it up, let him. Making that call is hard, and if he can make it easier, just say yes.”
“Okay,” You sigh, your shoulders dropping.
“And tell them how you’re feeling about bonding,” He adds, “trust me.”
“Maybe,” You say, “I know you’re right. We’re just moving so fast,”
“So slow down,” He offers.
“I don’t know if I want to,” You admit, warmth and nervous energy filling your chest, “it feels right like this, I just don’t know if I can handle a claim,”
“Tell them,” He reiterates, “don’t let them stumble into that one, they might hurt you without even knowing it if they bring it up sooner than you’re ready for.”
“Right,” You nod, “you’re right,”
He huffs a laugh, “Usually am,”
You flick his arm, rolling your eyes, so grateful at him for helping you work through something this hard while still keeping you smiling. You should have called him earlier, he’s right about that too.
You let silence stretch around you both for a moment, and then something occurs to you.
“Do you know anything about the charges Minseok is filing?” You run a hand through your hair, “Not to bring up yet another pleasant subject,”
Wooyoung snorts a little air through his nose and shrugs, “I probably know what you know, have you talked to Hwa?”
You shake your head.
“At all?” He seems surprised.
“I have,” You correct, “but it was quick and we were all on the call. I haven’t been to my place to see if there’s any mail, but I’d guess Yunho and Mingi will get a summons soon.”
Wooyoung nods, “That’s what the police said,”
Your eyebrows raise, “You talked to the police?”
“Seonghwa did,” He clarifies, “and he gave San and I the run down.”
“Why is no one telling me what’s going on?” You exhale heavily.
“Because last we heard you were having nightmares,” Wooyoung rests a hand on your folded legs, “and we don’t have a lot of information to give, and I don’t think any of us want to cause you more stress than you need.”
“Do Yunho and Mingi know?” You press.
“Not exactly,” Wooyoung says, “though, I guess Seonghwa might be telling them now if they stopped by the studio,”
You wait for him to continue, but you’re a little relieved at least that your boys aren’t keeping anything from you directly.
“Seonghwa spoke to the police who explained the charges. Minseok is alleging that the guys misunderstood what they saw and ignored his attempts to explain, and that they used unnecessary force intervening on your behalf.” He says it plainly.
“Misunderstood?” You repeat the word.
“I know,” Wooyoung nods, “we all know, but that’s what he’s saying. The police advised Seonghwa to get an attorney and let him know that further charges were being filed. I think we can safely assume that’s Yunho and Mingi, maybe San if he’s really going after it.”
“Maybe me too,” You add.
“Maybe,” He nods, “but that would be tough to prove I think,”
“Hmm,” Your eyes feel a little unfocused.
“Hey,” Wooyoung gets your attention with a squeeze, “we don’t know anything yet, and we thought this might happen. It doesn’t change the truth and it doesn’t mean any of them regret what they did to make sure you were safe, okay?”
“Yeah,”
“Tell me you understand,” He presses, “because I’m not letting you put this one on yourself,”
“I do, I understand,” You nod, “it just sucks,”
“That’s fair,” He gives you a soft smile, “but it’s going to take a lot more than this to fuck us over,”
“Yeah,” You murmur, “you’re probably right.”
Wooyoung says something else but you hardly hear it, in the back of your mind all you can think of is that first night at the hospital. The detectives who interviewed you were kind, but bordered on dismissive, and you know Minseok and his family have deeper pockets than you do. You have to figure this out, you have to.
“Babe?” Wooyoung nudges you.
“Yeah,” You snap up, coming back to the present moment and letting those anxieties fade into the background until you can really think them through, “sorry,”
“It’s okay,” He soothes you.
Your phone buzzes on your lap again and you pull it up to see the message. It’s Mingi again - Budae Jjigae for dinner, ask Wooyoung if he wants to stay? We’ll have plenty
It’s like he felt your anxiety from miles away and you can feel the tense knot of your shoulders unlocking. You send back a quick heart emoji and then look back up to your friend, “You want to stay for dinner?”
He smiles, “Who’s cooking?”
“Mingi,” You tell him, “he’s been on a comfort food kick for me,”
Wooyoung smiles, “I’ll stay,”
“Great,” You tap out a reply to Mingi letting him know and take a big sigh.
“They make you happy,” Wooyoung says, “it’s nice to see,”
“It’s nice to feel,” You tell him, “after all this time, and after everything,”
“You deserve it,” He murmurs.
You smile, a little tease at the corner of your mouth when you nudge him, “So do you, and speaking of,”
His face lights up fast, “I wasn’t trying to bring my too-good mood over here if things weren’t going well,” he sighs, “but now that I know you’re all in love,”
“So you and Yeosang?” You turn the conversation to something so much happier, and feel lighter the second you do.
“It’s so good,” He gushes, head falling back against the cushions, “he’s kind of quiet, kind of hard to get to know at first, but y/n, he’s so funny,”
“Yeah?” You smile.
“And smart,” He adds, “and considerate, he’s always getting me coffees or refilling my water, just like, those little things,”
“Wow, look at you,” You squeeze his hand, “serial dater of alphas, turned into a blushy mess over a funny, smart, considerate beta,”
“He’s packing like an alpha, I’ll say that,” Wooyoung grins wolfishly.
You smack his chest, “Woo! Literally that is too much information,”
“Please,” He rolls his eyes, “I share a locker room with your boyfriends, I know what you’re working with,”
You feel your face flush red.
“Cute,” He teases.
“So,” You divert, “does Yeosang feel as strongly?”
His smile drops a little, “I mean,” he says, “I think so? But he’s not really an oversharer,”
“Have you told anyone else?” You try to be casual about that question, but if you’re being honest you’re dying to know where things will land with San and Seonghwa.
Wooyoung shakes his head though, “Not yet, but I think when everything calms down I might have him pick me up at the studio or something? I want you to meet him and I want everyone to know, I just,”
“I get it,” You assure him, “you go at your own pace.”
“Yeah,” He sighs.
“Just don’t follow my lead,” You smile, “if you like him, don’t run away in a panic,”
“Noted,” He laughs.
He looks so happy, bright from the inside in a way that matches his sunny scent, and you think he’s not far from sharing ‘I love you’s of his own at this rate.
You squeeze his hand again and catch his attention back, “You really look so happy,” you tell him.
“I am,” He sighs, “he’s exactly what I needed,”
You smile, and then push his legs to the side, “Move over, I know you have pictures, you’re holding out,”
He laughs sharply, head falling back but letting you manhandle him a little so you can snuggle into his side. Wooyoung tugs the blanket around you both and pulls out his phone, “Fine,”
“Like it’s a burden to show your best friend pictures of your hot new boyfriend,” You smack his chest, “come on,”
Wooyoung drops his arm around your shoulders until you’re slotted together on the corner of the couch, but he still hasn’t lit up his phone. You’re about to nudge him again, but then you feel him press a soft kiss to your hair.
“You know,” He says softly, “when Sannie called me and told me what happened, I just felt so sick,”
You find his other hand under the covers and lace your fingers together, “I’m okay,”
He nods, sighing into your skin, “I just want you to know,” he says, his voice a little tight, “you mean so much to me, and I’ll be grateful to them forever for stopping him,”
You blink back a few tears and nod, “I am okay, though,”
He nods again and clears his throat, “I know,”
“I think you’re avoiding my questions about Yeosang,” You squeeze his hand tightly, an acknowledgement of his emotions and his words, while steering the conversation back to happier topics.
“You’re right,” He laughs, “you caught me.”
“Come on,” You nudge him again, pushing down the little swell of emotion that his words brought up.
“He’s not really a selfie guy,” Wooyoung slides his finger across his phone screen until he finds Instagram and then navigates to his new man’s page, “but, I don’t know, I think you’ll like his vibe.”
Your face cracks into a wide smile when you see the profile, clearly that of an artist, a photographer. The first post on his page is of Wooyoung, though you’d have to know Wooyoung well to know it. He’s walking away from camera through a dark Itaewon street, the lines of his body accented by the neon club signs.
“Oh, Woo,” You relax against him and open that photo to see it larger, “he really likes you,”
He snatches the phone away, a little pink in his cheeks as he rushes to downplay the truth of what you can see plain as day, and you fight to get back the phone, your cheeks starting to hurt from how much you’ve been laughing.
You and Wooyoung stay like this for ages, warmly locked together as you swap stories and funny things on both your phones. By the time your phone chimes with another text from Mingi, at least two hours have gone by.
Almost home! His message reads.
Your chest feels warm, your heart whole at the words.
“They’ll be back in a minute,” You tell Wooyoung as you set your phone aside.
“Perfect,” He grins, “so exactly how much teasing can I get away with before you get mad?”
You fall apart again into laughter, happy tears stinging at your eyes. You don’t hear the front door open at first, but when you finally look up you see them standing frozen in the doorway with such softness in their expressions. You feel the words bubble up at the sight of them, but again they stay resting at the tip of your tongue.
Wooyoung rolls his eyes and pushes off the couch, “Alright, alright stop making heart eyes at each other and tell me what’s in the box,”
Your eyes flick down to the large white box in Mingi’s hand, the perfect cheesecake nestled inside waiting just for you. Wooyoung takes a few grocery bags out of their hands and heads off to the kitchen, and just like that your night falls together naturally.
You don’t think about Minseok again until later that night. For a beautiful, blissful four hours you just laughed and ate and relaxed with your best friend and your boyfriends, and he doesn’t enter your brain at all.
It isn’t until you’re lying in bed alone with your thoughts, Yunho and Mingi deep asleep on either side of you, that you realize what you have to do.
In the morning you wake from a dreamless sleep, and you start to put your plan in motion. You slip out of bed and leave them to their rest, light only just stretching its way through the Seoul skies outside. Seeing Wooyoung made you feel lighter in a way that you can’t explain, and within minutes you’re scrawling out a note, stealing Mingi’s key, and lacing up your sneakers.
Out for a walk, be back in a little while, don’t worry too much x
You leave it on their kitchen counter and you hope it’s enough to keep them from looking for you. You need a little space from your own scared reflection in the mirror, and a new perspective on the plan you’ve been turning over since your head hit the pillows last night.
The note isn’t a lie, strictly speaking, you are out for a walk, but you also know if you told them exactly where you were on a walk to, they'd worry. They wouldn’t just worry, they would have insisted on coming with you, but this is something you have to do alone.
You take the long way to the hospital down the river path, letting the cool day calm your mind and keep you centered. You go over in your mind all the things you want to say to him when you see him, assuming you actually make it into his room. You wonder how hard it will be to convince him. You wonder if you’ll even be able to get a single word out of your mouth.
You have to try.
Yunho’s words from yesterday morning in the kitchen sink into you. The tenderness in his eyes when he mentioned how jumpy you’ve been around the apartment. You hadn’t even realized it, but now you feel it in your shoulders and your stomach with the sound of every opening door, every squeak of a shoe on vinyl flooring. Everytime you look up into a mirror you expect to see a face over your shoulder, to feel hands on your hips.
Minseok had taken so many little things from you in the span of three minutes.
You need to take something back.
Every step leading into the hospital is heart pounding and nerve wracking, stress inducing on a level you’ve never experienced, but standing in front of reception you suddenly feel an overwhelming calm. Your mind is clear, operating on something wholly unconscious and you don’t know where you’ve mustered this feeling from, but you let it take you.
You give over Minseok’s full name and provide the kindest smile you can to the woman behind the desk,“I’m his sister,” you tell her. The lie rolls right off your tongue, so clean and easy you surprise yourself.
“Oh,” The nurse nods, “well visiting hours don’t start until eleven,”
“I have work,” You counter, softening your face, “I’m sorry, but do you think you could make an exception? I’ll be very quick, I just want to see him for a few minutes before I have to run,”
She considers it, and you know you have her the minute she checks the nurse’s station to see who else is there with her before she breaks a rule, “Alright, but just be quick, five minutes,”
“Thank you so much,” You smile, “really, you’re so kind,”
She waves you off, glancing around her again, “He’s in 305, the third door down on your left when I open the doors,”
“Thank you,”
She presses a button on the wall and the lock springs free, opening the heavy security door to your side. With one last smile and deeply grateful bow, you slip through the door and make it through into the hospital hallway where you are most definitely not supposed to be.
Third door on the left.
You have to be quick, not so you don’t get caught, but so you don’t chicken out. If you stand in this hallway and let yourself really think about what you’re doing, you’ll turn right around and go home. Steeling yourself, you rush forwards and find the door to 305 and with a deep breath you slip inside.
Private rooms are expensive, that thought occurs to you as you shut the door tightly behind you. That fact, plus the reality that he’s already talking about pressing his own charges, tells you Seonghwa was right, he has some kind of family money. You hope that when you turn around and actually face the room you won’t have to contend with his mother or father or god forbid some girlfriend you know nothing about. You need him to be alone.
Blissfully, the room is quiet, the only sounds are medical and simple. With your palms flat against the door you take a deep breath, and if Minseok is awake he says nothing, makes no sound, while you gather the nerve to do this.
Finally, you turn.
He is awake, studying you with a careful expression, but then your eyes flick over him. He’s more than injured, he’s completely incapacitated. You catalog it all quickly - his leg suspended in an elevating sling, ankle wrapped up tight, wrist sprained and in a brace, his face is bruised and battered and you realize in seconds that his broken jaw is wired shut. He has an oxygen cannula tucked into his bandaged nose, and you remember that his ribs are broken too.
You wonder which of your boys delivered each piece of punishment.
Your mouth feels dry, and your pulse is quickening, the sight of him so close is enough to induce panic but he can’t really do anything to you in this state so you have to just be brave. You push yourself off the wall and walk to the end of his hospital bed, “Hey,”
He gestures to his jaw and shrugs to communicate that he can’t really talk.
“I know,” You nod, “I heard.”
It’s strange to be here with him like this when last week you were working side by side. It’s bizarre to suddenly feel this bubble of uncomfortable space and distance, and to feel the fear underneath it all.
He gestures towards you with his bandaged hand and you know he’s asking why you’re here.
“I heard about the counter charges,” You came here with a purpose and you have to stick to it, “and I came here to ask you to drop them.”
He shakes his head and looks down at himself and then back up to you.
“After what you did?” Anger curls up in your belly, “I think they took it pretty easy on you.”
He huffs, a puff of air from his closed lips.
“Listen,” You try, “you and I both know what you tried to do, and whatever your excuse is, it doesn’t matter. If they hadn’t gotten you off me… I guess what I’m saying is do the right thing now. You said you were sorry, just drop these charges and we can all move on.”
His eyes harden and he shakes his head.
You thought he was apologetic after, coming to his senses and realizing in the haze of his rut he almost broke someone’s mind, but now you’re starting to think he was just pleading for his own beating to stop.
“You won’t consider it?” You ask, stomach clenching tightly.
He shakes his head again and points to his injuries. Jaw, ribs, leg.
You want to hit him yourself, so suddenly that your fingers curl tight into fists, “You tried to fucking claim me because I wouldn’t go out on a date with you, and you think you’re the victim here?”
He seems irritated by your question, and he reaches for something on the tray table to his side. He pulls up a small whiteboard and marker, clearly given to him by hospital staff to communicate, and he wipes away the words that were there to write out his message to you.
I’m the one in a hospital bed.
“You bastard,” The words just slip out, “why do you think? They put you here for a fucking reason, Minseok,”
He wipes the message away and writes something else.
Keep your alphas on a leash.
You’ve never understood the phrase ‘seeing red’ before, but now it’s meaning is crystal clear, “You should keep yourself on a leash.”
He huffs.
“Using tone to submit an omega is illegal, Minseok,” You round the corner of the bed, “the prison time for something like that is long. It’s not even just assault, I think that’s something like three or four years? But using tone… claiming against an omega’s will? That’s irreparable damage. I wonder how many charges they’d stack on top in court? Psychological trauma? Sexual assault?”
His eyes darken and he wipes the board again, his marker squeaking roughly against it as he angrily writes out the next message.
I never touched you like that.
“You would have,” You shake your head, “as soon as I was your nice obedient omega and couldn’t say no.”
He stares daggers, but says nothing.
“They might be able to prove intent,” You tell him, “throw a few more years on top for good measure. How old do you think you’ll be when they let you out? Do you think a dance studio would hire a forty year old man?”
His face pales, he looks sick suddenly.
“You’ll drop the charges,” You tell him, “and when you do, I’ll drop mine.”
His eyes widen.
“You’ll never set foot in the studio again, and you’ll go find another job somewhere else.”
His eyes skim over you, trying to gauge your honesty.
“Do you understand me?” You don’t know what’s possessing you, what’s holding you up so you can get these words out, but you’ve never felt more sure.
He says nothing.
You lean in closer, close enough that if he was uninjured he could easily have you back in control, but with his jaw wired shut and his lack of mobility, he can’t do a thing. Nerves flutter up your body as you lean in, and you’re sure he can smell Yunho and Mingi on you, but the guarantee that he can’t touch you is filling you with a sick sense of power, of sure joy.
“You tried and you failed,” You tell him, and he huffs, “and that’s on you.”
His cheek twitches and you’re sure he’d be clenching his jaw if he could do it without exceptional pain.
“You’ll do this for me, you owe me,” You hold his gaze despite the flutter of fear it brings you, “and if you don’t, I don’t care what it takes. I’ll see you in court and if that doesn’t work, I’ll make sure that you never, ever get hired again. Every studio in Korea will know what you did, and every omega in Seoul will know what you really are, and if you ever get close to me again after today I’ll break your jaw myself.”
His eyes flick down.
“Do you understand me?” You repeat, enunciating clearly.
He nods once.
“Good,” You push back from him and get some distance, “get the charges against all of them dropped by tomorrow and I’ll call and withdraw mine. Don’t ever come back to the studio, if you left stuff there consider it gone.”
He holds your gaze, and then he writes out a question - How do I know you’ll keep your word?
“You don’t,” You shrug, “but I promise you I wouldn’t be here in this room with you at all if I wasn’t willing to drop them.”
He turns your words over.
“Minseok,” You sigh, “they mean more to me than watching you go to jail, please, just do the right thing.”
He wipes his hand again across the whiteboard and then he shifts, looking back up to you to nod in agreement.
“You’ll do it?”
He nods again and then picks the marker back up to write something.
“Don’t,” You stop him, “there’s nothing you can say I want to hear. Just do this and we’ll be done.”
He looks away and without meeting your eyes again, he nods.
“Don’t make me come back,” You press him, but he doesn’t respond and that will have to be enough. You’ve done what you came to do.
You’re out of his room in a flash, back through the security doors and quick past the front desk. You don’t spare a single glance at the nurse who broke the rules for you, you just need to get out of here before you let the reality of what you’ve done hit you sideways. You don’t let a single thing consume you until you’re out of the hospital and on the street again, and you sink down onto the first available bench.
Your heart is pounding, hands trembling. You need to get this under control before you go home because the last thing you want is to cause Yunho and Mingi anymore stress or heartache. You give yourself some time to come back into your body, to forget the hard set of Minseok’s eyes and the way his fingers twitched when you got too close, the way you fought the curling panic in your gut to get the words out.
When you do feel whole again, you order a taxi back. You’ve been gone a while, probably a little longer than they expected, and you hope they’re not worried.
Using Mingi’s borrowed key, you slip into the apartment and let their scents wash over you, soothing you instantly. You shut the door quietly behind you and toe off your shoes before calling out, “Is anyone home?”
You hear movement immediately, Mingi from the kitchen and Yunho from his bedroom and it fills you with warmth.
“Hey,” Mingi gets to the living room first, “how was your walk?”
“Really good,” You tell him, and that’s the truth. The walk itself was nice until you cut it short with your little errand.
“You look good,” He smiles, and Yunho appears from his side of the apartment as Mingi continues, “fresher,”
“Yeah,” You sigh, “it’s a beautiful morning out,”
“Hey,” Yunho says, smiling at the sight of you.
“I’m sorry I didn’t wake you,” You say, “I just wanted to clear my head a bit, so I hope you don’t mind that I borrowed your key,”
Mingi shakes his head as you hang his keyring up by the door.
“We’ll have to get one made for you,” Yunho says, “if you want,”
You let the implication of that lie and you nod, but excitement sparks in your belly.
“Is there any coffee?” You ask, moving into the apartment and heading towards the kitchen. You need to tell them where you’ve been, but you just need a breath before you can.
“Mhm,” Mingi says, “I just made a cup,”
“Oh,” You shake your head, “I don’t want to take yours, I’ll make my own.”
“No, no,” He slides behind you and presses a kiss to your hair as he does, “take it, I’ll make another. Yunho, do you want one?”
“I’m good,” He replies, coming to stand next to you at the small kitchen island.
Mingi looks like he’s thinking about something as he finishes off your cup of coffee and throws an electric kettle back on to make another pourover, but Yunho draws your attention away.
“Jagi,” He starts, “I don’t mean to… well, can we talk to you about something?”
“Sure,” You angle towards him, his words making you a little nervous, “is everything okay?”
“Absolutely,” He assures you, brushing his hand down the length of your arm, “but Mingi and I were talking while you were gone, about how to handle everything with these charges,”
“Oh,” His timing is impeccable.
“We just want to include you,” He says, squeezing your hand, “and make sure we’re handling things the way we should, but it might be smart to try and hire a lawyer before this goes any further,”
You’re not sure how you’re supposed to say this.
“We talked to Seonghwa and he agrees,” Yunho continues, “this will be the easiest way to protect all of us,”
“Yunho,” You start, “hang on,”
“If this is upsetting we can talk about it later,” Yunho adds, “but Seonghwa has some connections through his parents, he wants to make some calls.”
Your stomach twists at the idea of Seonghwa needing to lean on a favor from his parents, and every choice you made that morning becomes perfectly validated with just that thought. You would never, ever let him do that, not after everything he’s done for you.
“It’s not upsetting,” You assure Yunho, trying to interject, “I just don’t think that will be necessary,”
“Getting a lawyer?” He clarifies.
“Yeah,” You swallow hard and glance at Mingi, “I don’t think we’ll need to.”
“I mean, having representation would be best,” Yunho says, “I know it’s stressful, but we need to be careful,”
“Right,” You sigh, needing him to give you a breath to explain, “that’s if there’s a suit,”
“Well sure, but,” Yunho starts but the penny drops for Mingi.
“Tell me you didn’t,” Mingi turns to you fully and the words die on Yunho’s lips as he plays catch up.
You stay quiet, holding his gaze, but when you let out a soft breath he sets his coffee back down.
“y/n,” Mingi says, voice serious and leaving Yunho visibly more and more confused, “tell me you didn’t do what I think you did.”
“I took care of it,” You settle on the most neutral words you can.
“No,” He shakes his head, “you can’t just say that, you have to give us more than that.”
“I was planning on it,” You push past Yunho to approach Mingi, resting your hands on his upper arms as you get closer into his space, “I swear, you just guessed it too fast,”
“You smell like the hospital,” He explains, his nose crinkled up.
“Whoa, whoa,” Yunho finally catches up, “why were you at the hospital?”
You just have to say it, “I talked to Minseok,”
“Absolutely not,” Yunho pushes around the island and closer to you, “are you insane?”
“He’s completely incapacitated,” You tell them both, “he couldn’t have touched me even if he wanted to,”
“Yes, but you didn’t know that!” Yunho presses, his voice running high in surprise, but you can see he’s doing his best to keep level and cool.
“Look at me,” You settle him, “do I look hurt? Upset?”
“No,” He admits with a puff of dejected air.
“Am I myself?” You take both their hands in yours.
“Yes,” Mingi admits.
“Okay,” You sigh, “now stop freaking out and listen to me, because I promise you I’m perfectly fine,”
Mingi nods once, and Yunho stays silent, which is enough for you to do what you need to do.
“I went there to talk him out of the charges he’s filing,” You explain, “and I guess… I just wanted to understand what he did, so I wanted to talk to him.”
“And?” Yunho prompts.
“He’s an asshole,” You start.
“Did he touch you?” Mingi asks, his voice a little tight and thready, “Say anything to you?”
“No,” You promise, tugging him closer until his hands are properly on you, “come here,”
“You can tell us if he did,” Yunho’s fingertips stroke a gentle pattern over the back of your neck, “we’re not angry, we just want to help,”
“Speak for yourself, I still want to kill him,” Mingi says sharply.
“Hey,” Yunho nudges him, “chill,”
“Both of you relax,” You interject and they fall silent, “he didn’t do anything, he couldn’t even talk, his jaw is fully wired shut,”
Yunho huffs a laugh, “Good,”
You smile, “Honestly, he looked pretty pathetic,”
“He is pretty pathetic,” Mingi points out.
“Right,” You sigh, “well, aside from some choice words written out on a whiteboard, he didn’t have much to say or do. I explained that if he didn’t drop his charges things would be much worse for him in the long run… and he saw reason.”
“He agreed to that?” Mingi’s eyes go wide.
“Mhm,”
“Why?” Yunho’s brows draw together, “Not out of the goodness of his heart, I assume,”
“No,” You shake your head, “but when I tell you, I need you both to promise me you won’t be angry.”
“That’s unfair,” Yunho says.
“Just say it,” Mingi nods, “we won’t know until we know.”
You chew the inside of your lip as you search for the right way to say this, and you know they’ll be upset no matter what, but they deserve honesty. You nod, “I agreed to drop my charges if he drops his,”
They’re silent, deathly silent.
“y/n,” Yunho swallows tightly as he gets his voice even, “why would you do that?”
“He didn’t want to listen to me at first,” You explain, “and I thought it through on the walk. That’s the only piece of leverage we have right now,”
“But he did something wrong, he should be held accountable,” Mingi exclaims, taking a full step away from you and running a hand through his hair.
“You heard the questions the police asked me,” You interject, “how close was I to my next heat? Did I know Minseok was in pre-rut? Why did I stay in the room if he was making me uncomfortable? What was I wearing?”
“But it wasn’t your fault,” Yunho insists, “he used tone, that’s fucking illegal,”
“I said he used tone,” You counter quietly, “but he’ll say he didn’t and he’ll say I got confused or misunderstood. He’ll use our relationship against you both, and my relationship with Seonghwa to paint… a very particular kind of picture about me. We all know what he did but I’m telling you, legally? We’re on the losing side,”
“But,” Mingi shakes his head, “that’s…”
“I know,” You nod, “believe me, I know.”
“You should have taken us with you,” Yunho says quietly, “we could have talked to him for you,”
You shake your head, “No,” you need them to understand, “you got to hit him… you got to do something, I didn’t get to do anything but be fucking scared,”
His expression softens, “Oh,”
“You protected me when I needed you,” You feel tears welling up now at the thought of it, “it’s my turn to protect you,”
They’re so quiet, watching you carefully.
“Nothing is taking you away from me again,” You say it, plain and clear, “nothing is taking away you or my friends, I won’t let that happen,”
Mingi’s arms fold around you fast as he tucks you into his chest and you feel Yunho step close too, laying a warm palm on your back as he leans into you both.
“Whatever you want, we’ll do it,” Mingi murmurs, “okay?”
You nod, closing your eyes as you snuggle into the warmth of him.
“And we’ll handle it together,” Yunho says, “but don’t make this decision for us, make it for you. We,” Yunho’s voice trails, but then he clears his throat and says what he wants to say anyways, “we love you. No matter what happens,”
“I know,” You sigh, snaking an arm out of Mingi’s hold to find Yunho’s hand and tuck him a little closer too, “but I’m sure,”
“I hate to state the obvious here,” Mingi pulls back from you so he can look at you both, “but if he’s not charged with anything, then he’s a free man.”
That thought does make your stomach flip, but you knew that when you walked into the hospital room, “I know,”
“It’s your choice,” Mingi reiterates, “but I still don’t know if I’m comfortable taking that kind of risk with you.”
“I don’t even want to think about that,” Yunho says, his hands finding your shoulders as he tucks closer behind you.
The image of Minseok’s face when you asked about his dance career flickers through your mind and you smile, “I think he got the picture,”
“y/n,” Mingi’s voice is hesitant.
“I told him in no uncertain terms,” You can’t get the smile off your face now, “that if he came anywhere near me again I’d break his jaw myself.”
“You didn’t,” Yunho looks down to see your face.
“I did,” You nod, “and before you freak out again, please remember that I’m here and totally fine in front of you,”
Mingi gives you a truly withering look but lets you speak.
“Honestly,” You breathe, “you should have seen him, he was lying there and could barely move, and when he didn’t want to drop the charges at first, I kind of got in his face,”
Yunho’s hands tighten on your shoulders and Mingi scrubs a hand over his face, “Don’t tell me that,”
“But I did,” You press your palms flat against Mingi’s chest, “I told him that if he didn’t drop his charges he would never get rid of me, I told him I’d make his life hell, and he couldn’t even move. He couldn’t touch me,”
Mingi’s quiet, his eyes flicking up to Yunho behind you. Yunho sighs, dropping his forehead to rest against your hair and then his arms relax, wrapping around you from behind.
“I really hate this story,” Yunho says, “but I’m also really proud of you,”
“Me too,” Mingi’s hand closes over both of yours to give you a squeeze.
“I just wish you had told us,” Yunho admits.
“If I had told you I was going there you would have never let me go alone,” You point out.
“Exactly,” Yunho’s arms tighten.
You turn your head to press your lips to his arm where it wraps around your shoulder, and you nuzzle a little into his warm skin, “You know why I had to go though, right? You get it?”
He nods against your head.
Mingi smooths his hand up and down your forearm, “We do,”
“I just hate the thought of him seeing you again,” Yunho admits, lifting his head and readjusting you in his arms, “or being close to you at all,”
“I know,” You lean back into his embrace, “but this is the thing, he got to see me be fine after what he did,”
“And you got to see him,” Mingi puts two and two together with ease and nods, “and he looked pathetic?”
“More than that,” You smile, “he looked… afraid.”
“Good,” Mingi says firmly.
You remember the way he looked in that hospital bed, his eyes darting around the room. He shrank back when you got close, no doubt the scent of Yunho and Mingi lingering on your skin, and you smile up at them at the thought, “He was terrified my alphas were with me,”
Yunho’s lips quirk and he leans around you to meet your eyes, “He wasn’t afraid of us, sweetheart, he was afraid of you.”
“No,” You laugh that off, but they don’t join in and Mingi makes a funny expression at your words.
Yunho slides away, shoulder to shoulder with Mingi now as he looks down at you, “Yes, y/n,” he shakes his head, “he was vulnerable and alone and stuck in a hospital bed, and you’re…”
“A powerful fucking omega,” Mingi supplies.
Yunho nods, “And he knows that you could ruin the rest of his life.”
You don’t know what to say.
“y/n,” Mingi sighs, tugging you in until your bodies are close together, “if you ever do something that reckless again, I’ll lose my mind,”
You move to lift your head and push back, to keep trying to get him to understand why this was so important for you to do alone and why you made the choices you made, but he stops you short.
“But,” He adds, kissing the top of your head, “it was also very brave, and I love you for it.”
“Yeah?” You nudge him.
“Yeah,” He admits.
“I do wish I could have seen it,” Yunho grins, “that asshole scared of you,”
Mingi’s hands slide to your hips, tightening their grip and he swallows hard, “Our fierce little omega,”
A ripple of something needy and unexpected passes through your belly, “Is that what I am?”
Yunho steps closer, finding a home for his hands on your body too, “You called us your alphas,” he says softly, “isn’t that what we are?”
Mingi’s thumbs brush a warm steady pattern into your hips and you feel yourself melting into their hands, “Yes,”
“That makes you our omega, sweetheart,” Yunho eyes flick from yours to your lips.
The way they say omega to you doesn’t sound cold. It doesn’t sound cruel or commanding, no undertone of ownership despite the content of their words. When they say it all you hear is love.
“Say that again,” You murmur softly.
Mingi smiles, lifting his eyes to watch you.
Yunho dips closer, his lips dangerously close, “Our omega?”
You nod a little, heat flushing your cheeks.
“Our omega,” He repeats, pressing his lips to yours. He waits to make sure you want it, he waits to feel you twist in their arms and reach up for him, and then he lets his body follow his thoughts, lips opening and his tongue dipping into your mouth.
Mingi’s hand shifts, spreading wide over your lower belly, his fingertips at the waistband of your pants. You’re not ready for that, and you hope he doesn’t notice the way you twitched in his hands when he first adjusted his grip, but either way he makes no move to take anything further. Neither of them do. Despite Yunho’s lips on yours, and the breath between you both, his hands stay put on your back and your cheek while Mingi just holds you, patient and soft at your side.
When your lips break from Yunho, settling back down your heels after pushing up on tiptoe, Mingi uses his grip on you to spin you to face him, his mouth finding yours with ease.
You hum pleasantly against his mouth, your hands gripping his broad shoulders for balance.
“Ours,” Mingi murmurs between kisses, and then his hands spread to your backside, maneuvering you up into his arms in one quick motion, “you’re ours,”
You wrap your legs around his middle and sink into the kiss, “I’m yours,”
“Fuck, I missed you,” He mumbles between kisses, nuzzling your cheek with his nose.
You nod against him, stealing one more kiss before you lean back, still perched comfortably with your legs around his waist. You smooth a hand over Mingi’s cheek and then reach for your other lover to bring him close, drawing him in by the hand until he’s nestled against both of your sides. Yunho’s hand reaches around to cup under your thigh and you settle your own hand on the back of Yunho’s neck, fingers stroking the shaggy bottom of his dark hair.
“This is nice,” Mingi smiles a little, eyes flicking between you and Yunho.
Yunho nods, his free hand settling on Mingi’s back.
“I can’t believe I convinced myself that we weren’t scent sympathetic,” You sigh a small, unfunny laugh, “this just feels so right,”
“Knowing it and knowing it are two different things,” Mingi says, emphasizing the word.
“I guess so,”
“And it’s not like all scent matches work out,” Yunho adds, “we still have to work at it,”
You nod, relaxing into their hold, “I want that,”
“We do too,” Mingi squeezes your thigh a little with his wide hand.
It’s funny how different it all feels now than months ago during your first panicked heat here, how settled you are with everything. You glance between them and ask the obvious, “When we go back to work, what are we this time?”
“Pack,” Mingi says easily and your head snaps to his, eyebrows high.
“Mingi,” You blink at him, surprised at his easy reference to such a permanent state of being. Scent matches and compatibility is one thing, but pack is something so much more. All of it flickers in your mind - claims, bonds, tying you together permanently.
“Someday,” Yunho interjects smoothly, giving you a soft, reassuring kiss to the head, “far in the future, if you’ll have us.”
“Someday,” The word slips out of you like an agreement, and despite all the fears shared with Wooyoung earlier, you do want them like that. You want to someday be able to give each other that.
“Then we’re pack,” Mingi lights up at your words, “officially, unofficially, I don’t care. You’re with us, we’re with you.”
Your body fills with warmth, but you can feel your heart rate picking up.
Yunho smiles, “What did they used to call that back in the day?”
“Courting,” You fill in the blank for him, and the word feels strangely old fashioned considering the fact that you’ve already spent a heat with them. When packs were more common, groups of alphas would court compatible omegas until it was sure they were a good match in more ways than just scent. The implication then was something more akin to a modern engagement and you can’t believe after everything you’ve been through with these two men, this is the conversation you’re having suddenly so casually in their kitchen.
“Well,” Yunho laughs, “we don’t have to call it that,”
“We’re,” You trail off, trying to find the words, “dating?”
“Partners?” Yunho offers a slightly less casual word.
“Together,” Mingi cuts in, “that’s what we are. We’re your alphas, we belong to you, and you,” he draws you closer in his arms to press a soft kiss on your lips, “are our omega.”
“And at work?” You trail off.
“We’ll be ourselves,” Yunho suggests, “people probably already know after last week anyways,”
Mingi nods, dipping forward and pressing a kiss to your lips, “No more pretending we don’t mean something to each other,”
“No more pretending,” You shift in his arms, wrapping your arms properly around his shoulders so that you’re hugging each other tightly.
Mingi hums appreciatively, his breath warm against your hair and then he chuckles a little as he readjusts you in his arms, “Is it too fast if I start calling you yeobo, though? I feel like it suits you,”
You pull back from the hug, “We’re not married, Mingi,” you remind him, “and I didn’t hear a proposal,”
“You want to get proposed to, baby?” He teases and you shove his chest.
“Knock it off,” Yunho smacks the back of Mingi’s head, “our relationship doesn’t have to break the sound barrier,”
“I’m kidding,” Mingi squeezes you, shifting to take a few steps and deposit you on the kitchen counter before stepping back with a quick peck on your lips.
“Hmm,” Yunho rolls his eyes and slumps back against the counter next to you, one wide hand smoothing over your thigh, “we just got you back, I’d like to avoid scaring you off,”
“I’m not scared,” You shake your head, and as you say it, you realize it’s true. Six months ago you would have balked at Mingi’s veiled promise of his intentions, you would have told them all their hormones were mixed up and confused. You would have told yourself the same. It feels strange to feel completely at peace with the idea of a real someday with them.
Yunho’s eyebrow quirks up in a question at your words and Mingi grins, a little self satisfied.
“Actually,” You exhale heavily and straighten up, “I talked to Wooyoung yesterday and he helped me figure some things out,”
“Things?” Mingi asks.
“Um,” Your pounds in your chest, “yeah,”
Yunho gives you an encouraging squeeze to keep going.
You meet his eyes and take the leap, “Can you make that call? For me to talk with someone?”
He softens and nods, “I’ll do it first thing,”
“Okay,” You say, taking another deep breath, “then there’s one more thing to tell you,”
Mingi doesn’t say anything, but he steps back closer to you, resting his hand on your opposite thigh.
“It’s my turn to ask you to be patient,” You give them both an anxious, close lipped smile.
“We’re listening,” Mingi soothes you.
“Okay,” You take both their hands in yours, “here goes. The idea of bonding with you both is kind of sending me into a tailspin right now, and I’m terrified that it’s something I’m never going to get over. Wooyoung told me to talk to someone to work through that and I want to. I thought about it all day, and the truth is that I want to be with you both for as long as you’ll have me. You feel like you’re mine, now more than ever, and I’m scared, but I’m also scared of not trying,”
“And if I can be yours like this for now,” You continue, “without bonds like you said, pack even if it’s unofficial, then maybe I can work through this and make it official someday. I’m just scared your definition of ‘far in the future’ and my definition are different though, and I,”
“Fuck bonds,” Mingi interrupts, moving to cup both your cheeks and draw your eyes to his, “that shit doesn’t matter to me at all. We’re together by choice, not by claim. If you want my bite someday, I’ll give it to you, but you won’t ever hear me ask, alright? Never.”
“Me too,” Yunho’s hand brushes down your hair, coming to rest on the back of your neck, “as far as I’m concerned it’s secondary, I don’t care what anyone thinks. I’d sooner leave you than push you into a bond you aren’t ready for,”
You jolt forwards, throwing an arm around each of their shoulders and nearly slipping off the counter when you do, but they hold you steady as you pull them in.
“We just want you,” Mingi’s rough, low voice murmurs, “just this.”
You feel their warmth, the steady thrum of each of their heartbeats, their scents curling around you like a safe, easy memory. The words find themselves right on the tip of your tongue again, only this time, this time they come.
“I love you,” You take in a sharp, emotional breath as you get yourself together, overwhelmed by their words, “I love you both so much,”
Yunho dips back to find your mouth, locking his lips on yours and sighing a breath of true relief against your mouth, “I love you too, sweetheart,”
Mingi redirects your gaze with his fingers on your jaw the moment Yunho starts to lean back and he kisses you hard, leaving you gripping his shirt for balance, “I love you,”
“God,” You smile, every part of your body alight with joy, “I think we might be crazy, but I don’t care,”
“Good,” Yunho glances between you both, “because I think I’m having a crazy idea,”
“What idea?”
“Move in,” He blurts out, and he can’t stop smiling, “fuck giving you a key, fuck calling you our girlfriend. Move in properly, be ours. If we’re together, let’s be together, we’ve lost enough time,”
“Who’s moving fast now?” Mingi says, but he’s smiling too.
Everything in your body feels right, feels safe. You’ve been calling this home for days, and you’ve been calling them yours in your head for so much longer.
You’re nodding before your mouth can catch up with your brain, “Okay, okay, yes, let’s do it,”
Yunho pulls you up into his arms and holds you close, peppering kisses across your temple, “We’ll figure everything else out later, but at least we’ll be together,”
“Thank God,” You melt into his embrace, meeting Mingi’s eyes over Yunho’s shoulder, “because I really didn’t want to leave,”
“No leaving this time,” Mingi smiles softly as Yunho nods his head against yours.
“Mm-mm,” You shake your head, agreeing with his words.
“We’ll get everything from your place as soon as we can, make it official,” Mingi adds.
You nod, and then a thought occurs to you, “Is there even enough room for me here?”
Yunho unwraps himself from around you and nods, “We’ll need a bigger bed,”
“For a start,” Mingi nods, “and you need a nest,”
“Yeah?” Your very own nest, a real one.
“Oh, babe,” Mingi finds your hand, tugging you in, “you’re about to get fucking spoiled, anything you want, we’ll figure it out.”
“You don’t have to, I just want to be here,” You tell them.
“Doesn’t matter,” Yunho says, “we’ve waited for you for so long,”
“Too long,” Mingi wraps his arms around you both, “way too long,”
It doesn’t matter anymore what pushed you into their arms, what kind of day you’ve had, everything you’ve had to get through. Not a thing in the world matters but this choice, the safe home of their arms, three of you against the world like it was always meant to be.
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Art credit: @/charscounterattack reposted with permission.
INVINCIBLE VS. MY HERO ACADEMIA: WHEN HEROES KILL
Whether or not heroes should kill people is a hotly debated topic in comics.
There are people who think heroes should never kill, and others who think heroes should kill more. One of the most famous comic book storylines "Under the Red Hood" has Red Hood / Jason Todd debate whether or not it was ethical for Bruce to keep letting the joker live even after the Joker killed Jaso, especially after the Joker killed Jason. If killing the Joker earlier to prevent all future deaths would have been justified. There are like a hundred DC Aus that are like "What if Batman and Superman just started killing people?"
In order to explore this question I'm going to explore two situations in different comics, Invincible and My Hero Academia when the hero, a very idealistic young hero kills someone for the first time.
LET HORI COOK
Storytelling, especially for serialized storytelling which comes out week by week instead of all at once works on the premise of drawing people in by promising that certain future developments and plot points are going to happen. Stories are all about creating expectations, building them, and then paying them off.
Here's an example: The Dabi is a Todoroki theory has existed pretty much since the training camp arc. Horikoshi wasn't in your face about the hints about Toya, but there was just enough hints to make the theory seem more and more plausible. Toya having the same fire quirk as Shoto / Endeavor. Toya mentioning both of them by name. Shoto's two other siblings getting revealed but not Toya. Toya saying that Hawks should have paid attention to him most of all. All of these little pieces came together until Toya finally revealed his identity on live TV in front of both Shoto and Endeavor.
This worked because not only did it give the audience just enough clues that they felt smart for figuring it out, and get invested in the idea of Toya as a Todoroki, it also was well-paced so it didn't seem like Horikoshi forgot about it unlike the traitor plot which went hundreds of chapters without being mentioned. If Toya was revealed to be a Todoroki at the training camp arc with no buildup, it wouldn't be as effective bcause we didn't have years of waiting and theorizing. If Todoroki was revealed to be some guy named Steve after all the hints, it also wouldn't be an effective reveal because there were hints dropped for Toya Todoroki, but there were no Steve hints so it'd feel like the author lied to us.
Themes are like this too. I tend to explain story themes by oversimplifying it as "Question, and answer." The story asks a question, it provides us an answer, and we can come up with our own answer as well. However, there's a middle part I'm skipping out on which is deliberation. Before you can come up with an answer, you obviously need to deliberate it, either by presenting arguments for or against, hearing outside opinions or just thinking things through.
In other words, you need to "Let things cook."
If Toya calling Shoto by his full name at the Training Camp Arc is when we're first asked "Is Toya a Todoroki?" or when the theories first started, then the long middle period between Training Camp Arc and the First War Arc is the deliberation. This is when the story not only added more hints to the idea that Toya was a Todoroki, but also set up why that reveal mattered. Endeavor wanted to atone for his past sins, but one of his victims was no longer alive. Endeavor begins to move on anyway and think he's finally made himself a good hero, but now Toya appears to flip up the reverse Uno Card.
So let's follow this basic formula, for how ideas get developed in My Hero Academia and just any good story.
Question / Introduction
Deliberation
Answer / Conclusion
My Hero Academia and Invincible explore similar themes in regards to heroism, generational trauma and how to be better than the previous generation in both Mark and Deku. I'm going to streamline their arcs down to one basic question for the sake of time. For both the question is:
Can I be a better hero than my Dad?
Deku and Mark might be two characters who cannot possibly seem to be more different, but you can actually list off a lot of similarities between them right away. Deku and Mark are both people who in a world oversaturated with superheroes spent most of their childhoods with no superpowers at all. Also, they were genetically supposed to inherit a quirk / viltrumite powers, but Deku was born quirkless, and Mark was an extremely late bloomer. They are also people who while being powerless civilians for most of their lives worship heroes. Deku collects so much All Might Merch he even stole some from Nighteye after he died, Mark attends comic conventions even after he becomes a superhero.
They also grew up worshipping one hero in particular who was essentially earth's strongest hero, for Mark it was his dad Omni-Man, for Deku it was All Might. They also both get the opportunity to train directly under their favorite hero immediately after they get their powers. At first this makes it seem like they've been given everything they've ever wanted. All Mark has ever wanted was to be a hero like his dad and make his father proud. Not only did Deku just want one person to tell him he could be a hero too even without a quirk, but his very idea of heroism is built around seeing All Might always save people with a smile.
However, both of them suddenly hit complication just when it seems like they've been given everything they've ever wanted. They are both confronted with the fact that their heroes are not who they expected them to be. They are overly idealistic heroes who have been dreaming of being heroes since childhood only to be hit with a much greyer reality. To the point where there innocence becomes a flaw in and of itself. The way they've been coddled and protected all of their lives leaves them completely unaware and unable to spot the grey areas in the world, or the people around them.
For Deku the moral greys exist in the villains around them. In MHA Society, villains are basically just bad guys in suits for the heroes to punch on television. They're seen as a faceless enemy, and there's very little in way of rehabilitation for villains once they're captured. Deku lived in a very black and white world before this point, and he's suddenly presented with the idea that his villains could be morally grey.
Deku's image of All Might is a hero who saves everyone with a smile, so he could never imagine that there are people who All Might has failed to save. He's never stopped to consider where villains came from, or if any of them might have legitimate reasons for their grievances.
This becomes a pretty central theme in MHA. It's first brought up here when Shigaraki talks about All Might acting as if there's no one he can't save. Twice brings it up again in his first backstory chapter, that the heroes only save the virtuous ones.
This is further enforced in the same overhaul arc with members who are loyal to Overhaul because they are society's trash who would have been thrown out otherwise. There is a group of people fiercley loyal to Overhaul who is a terrible boss, because he is the only person who would accept them.
edits belong to @stillness-in-green from bring it all back a tone poem on returning to staus quo located here on ao3.
In the War Arc this long running theme basically reaches a climax with the Hawks and Twice confrontation, where Hawks decides to try to offer Jin a chance to restart because he's deemed him "good" but he won't extend the same helping hand to the league who Hawks has determined as "bad." He then asks Jin to betray his friends in order to be saved, something that Jin rightfully calls out.
That Hawks only wants to save Jin because he's one of the good ones, and he's written off the rest of the league and left them for dead. Hawks choosing to divide between good and bad victims ad only save the one he personally thought was worthy of redemption, makes it impossible for him to save Twice who would never under any circumstances give up on the rest of the league.
Twice's death is a tragedy, but it also presents us a clear example of the failures of the previous generation. Even a hero who sincerely sympathized with a villain and wanted to help them start over wasn't able to help them because of this attitude of selectively picking and choosing who to save. If the heroes only save the innocent the I guess the lives of the guilty are worth less.
This is the questio Toga poses to Ochako, if the heroes killed Twice then are you going to kill me in order to stop me. This is the central subject of Shigaraki's speech to the heroes. That heroes and villains will never uderstand each other, because the entire hero system perpetuates itself on ignoring the needs of societal outcasts and rejects in form of the "innocent people" and those outcasts who aren't having their needs met eventually turn into villains who get systematically put down by heroes. Heroes and villains are incapable of understanding each other and breaking the cycle, because the entire system isn't built on helping people, but merely maintaining the idea that heroes are perfect, faultless saviors so normal people will feel secure, while the people the heroes have failed get swept under the rug so society can keep "functioning."
"You heroes hurt your own families just to help strangers. You heroes pretend to be society's guardians. For generations, you pretended not to see those you couldn't protect. That means your system's all rotten from the inside with maggots crawling out. It all builds up, little by little, over time. You've got the common trash, all too dependent on being protected, and the brave guardians who created the trash that needed coddling. It's a corrupt, vicious, cycle. Everythig I've witnessed, the whole system you've built has always rejected me. Now I'm ready to reject it. That's why I destroy. That's why I took power for myself. Simple enough, Yeah? I don't care if you don't understand. That's what makes us heroes and villains."
So if the starting question is: Can I be a better hero than my dad?
Then everything I've detailed above is deliberation. Here we have, ever since the training camp arc, this slowly built up idea of why All Might was a flawed hero in the end.
Mark has to face the fact that his father is a more morally grey person than he could ever imagine, whereas Deku has to face the fact that the villains are more morally grey in his world, and that makes the heroes look more flawed in comparison as well. The deliberation is all slowly bringing Deku to think over what Shigaraki asked him all the way in the beginning in there first meeting.
Were there ever people that the heroes couldn't save? If so then what are you supposed to do with the victims you can't save after they grow up? This is when Deku begins to start forming his own answer.
Deku hears the advice of both the other OFA users, and The Stinky Old Man (Gran Torino) that killing Shigaraki is the best option, but wants to explore other options.
Scenes like this clearly telegraph what the answer / conclusion Hori is leading us to to be. The same way that Toya is a Todoroki is foreshadowed long in advance, statements like "All for one is a power meant for saving, not killing" clearly set up Deku's Endgame. Deku's end goal is to find a way use his power to save Shigaraki rather than killing him. Everything else is just a matter of deliberation, Deku knows what his edgoal is but the chapters between then and the end of the manga is Deku having to figure out how exactly to save Shigaraki without killing him.
You Heroes Hurt Your Own Families Just to Help Strangers
Invincible is the story of Mark Grayson, the son of Omni Man / Nolan Grayson. He's been told all of his life that his father is a viltrumite, a race of benevolent aliens who send out people like Nolan to alien civilizations in order to uplift their entire civilization. Which is what led Nolan to come to earth and become Earth's greatest heroes.
This turns out to be a big fat lie when within 12 chapters Nolan not only slaughters the guardian's of the globe, but also has a confrontation with his son.
Mark has wanted to be just like his dad his entire life. Only to be slapped in the face with the realization he's known nothing about his dad his entire life, shown rather brilliantly by these panels where Nolan tries to have a normal father / son conversation with Mark while covered in blood.
Nolan isn't from a futuristic utopia but from a brutal, fascist space empire. He didn't come to earth to help bring it up, but to weaken its defenses and make it prime for conquering. He didn't have Mark out of love, but to produce another soldier for the viltrumite empire.
Mark's entire schtick is that he's invincible, but he's so inexperienced as a hero that he gets beat up constantly despite the fact he has the strongest power set in the series b/c he has viltrumite powers. However, not only does the series introduce moral greys by continually showing how Mark even with the best power set in the series constantly gets his ass kicked, it also challenges Mark's black and white thinking and hero worship of his father by showing him the kind of man his father really is.
Mark has wanted to be exactly like his father his entire life, but now that's suddenly a bad thing. His father is a morally reprehensible person and Mark is now a descendant of an alien race meant to conquer worlds. Not only is Mark confronted by who his father really is, but now everyone in Mark's life judges him by comparing him with his father.
Mark has to work with Cecil and be his on-call Superhero, both to be able to pay for college, and also to prove that he's not his dad. The unspoken part of the agreement is that Cecil gets to keep a leash on Mark and Mark has to prove that he'll never turn out like his father to earn Cecil's trust.
Cecil is automatically suspicious of him because if Mark were to turn evil, the planet would have no defenses against him just like it didn't have any for Omni Man. Mark's mother starts to drink and blames Mark for Omni-Man leaving in a drunken moment of weakness because of how much the information that Omni Man only regarded her as a pet affected her.
The comic even shows us that in most alternate universes, mark actually did make the decision to join his father's conquest, and this universe is one of the few exceptions. This is also where we're introduced to a major reoccuring antagonist in the comics, and also the main antagonist / final antagonist of season 2 of the cartoon Angstrom Levy.
Levy is someone who can jump between dimensions and has traveled to almost all of them collecting his alternate selves. He has witnessed for a fact that in most universes Mark sides with his father instead of fighting against him.
Levy enlists the clone bros to build a device that would combine the knowledge of his alternate selves into one individual. This device ends up breaking tragically (partially mark's fault, but levy himself made the decision to stop the machine in order to stop the clone bros from killing Mark). Levy's memories become confused as a result of the machine malfunctioning, and he can't tell the difference between himself and his alternate universe counterparts. This means that Levy now remembers several alternate universes where Mark did turn evil, and remembers them as if they happened to him.
It's better elaborated upon in this post:
The process by which Invincible has had to condense and consolidate the plot beats of the original comic, coupled with the opportunity it's granted the writers to tighten up and emphasize its themes on a second pass, has resulted in a newfound appreciation for how unbelievably fucking good Angstrom Levy's whole character concept is. What's that, Mark? Your main emotional crisis this season is your fear of turning out like your father? Here, have an archnemesis who's out to kill you because his memories were inadvertently overwritten with the lived experiences of hundreds of alternate versions of himself whose friends and families were slaughtered in worlds where you did, in fact, turn out exactly like your father. Because it turns out that that is in fact the multiversal norm. That you turn out like your father. And now you're left to wonder what set of arbitrary coinflips pulled you back from that abyss in this dimension, and whether your luck is going to continue to hold into the future.
Mark is not only hit with the revelation that his father isn't as good as he thought he was, but also while he's in a crisis about about whether or not he will turn out like his father, he learns the answer is yes, in several dimensions he turns out exactly like his father.
In My Hero Academia there are families like the Todoroki's who balance the difference between a hero's obligations to society, and a hero's obligation to society. However, that's a side plot where I'd argue that the main plot for Invincible and it's main focus is what Mark owes to the world as a hero, and what Mark owes to his family.
It's not just that Omniman is trying to invade earth for the Viltrumite empire. It's not just that he failed as a hero, but that he failed as a father. What makes Mark snap, is hearing Omniman call Debbie a pet. Until that point Mark was in denial and still trying to reason with his father.
Invincible is about two intersecting themes: Is Mark obligated to use his incredible powers to help make the world better? Can Mark be a good hero and a good family man?
While MHA has more far reaching societal implications in its themes and questions, Invincible is more specifically about the Grayson Family. It's generational trauma on a society level, vs generational trauma on an individual level. The way Nolan was raised on Viltrumite effects how he raised Mark causing their conflict, and Mark's conflict with his father effects most of his young adulthood when he's trying to figure out what person he wants to be (read: not his dad), but also the way he parents his daughter with Atom Eve.
Omni-man failed Mark as both a hero, and a father. Mark feels the need to overcompensate for what his father did the world and all those innocent people by acting as Cecil's lapdog and doing whatever Cecil tells him.
However, Mark is much more hurt by the personal betrayal than he lets on. It's not just that his father killed a bunch of innocent people, it's also that Mark's father failed as a father, abandoning both him and mom and choosing to be a viltrumite rather than being Mark's father. Mark's stated reason for wanting to be a hero post the omni-man reveal is to prove he's not like his dad to the world, and also make up for the innocent lives he failed to save. However, his unstated underlying reason is Mark is hurt and betrayed his father didn't put his family first, and this causes Mark to always put his family first.
This leads to two insecurities / narrative flaws. One, Mark is insecure about becoming like his father so he tries to prove he's nothing like him by being the most selfless, perfect hero possible. Two, Mark is hurt by being abandoned by his father and doesn't want to become a deadbeat like Nolan so he gets extremely overprotective of his own family.
These two things are obvious in conflict with one another: A hero has an obligation to the common good which sometimes means sacrificing time with your loved ones. However, being a good family man requires a level of selfishness that directly contradicts the selfless hero that Mark is pushing himself to be. In the comic the way Mark prioritizes his family and loved ones over the common good and justice is made even more obvious. His first instinct on seeing Omni-Man again isn't to call him out for being an awful father, but to hug him and ask him to come home. Mark is a distraught son first, and a hero second.
Mark has two flaws, his fear of being like his father makes him try too hard to be a perfect hero, and his trauma over losing his father makes him prioritize his family over being a hero. It's very much a having your cake and eating it too situation, oftentimes heroes make huge sacrifices for their personal lives in order to be heroes, that's basically a theme discussed in the comic with Nolan being absent for a lot of Mark's childhood, and why Mark's relationship with Amber fails.
The show also introduces us to the idea that Mark is so afraid of becoming like his father that he deliberately holds back his punches. Which is good when he's fighting earth villains, but bad when he's facing viltrumites who can only survive being disemboweled, but will also come to wipe out all life on earth if they're allowed to live. In the show it's directly mentioned that Mark is holding back, in the comic it's implied when we see how helpless Mark is in the fight against other viltrumites. Mark lacks the resolve to kill someone and when fighting a viltrumite, failing to put them down can have consequences because they are galactic conquerors who will not show you any mercy.
This all comes to a head in the Angstrom Levy fight where Mark makes his first kill on-screen when beforehand he'd never fought to kill before, and even held back against galaxy conquering aliens who were out to murder him and his dad.
However. before we begin that.
Should superheroes kill?
People often act like whether or not super heroes should kill their villains is a black and white topic, where it actually depends highly on context.
Batman’s an entire character is written around how he wants to redeem Gotham and save the city, most of his villains aren’t even sent to prison they’re sent to Arkham a facility that’s supposed to rehabilitee the mentally ill so they can rejoin society. Batman has decided it’s his place to stop crime, not his place to decide whether or not people have the right to live or redeem themselves.
Batman is also at risk for being just like his villains, that’s why he’s foils with Harvey Dent, someone who tried to prosecute people under the law who then snapped and went full violent mobster vigilante. Batman actually is at risk for walking the same path as Harvey if he decides murder is an option.
In X-Men 97, there was a character known as Rogue who dropped Simon Bolivar Trask off of a building in an act of vigilante justice. This action makes sense in context for several reasons. One Rogue was raised by Mystique and Destiny, is a former member of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, and began as a terrorist in the comics. She's not really a "moral highground" character like Batman. Two, Boliver Trask built a giant killer robot that resulted in the deaths of millions in Genosha which Rogue is a survivor of. Number three, Trask had no sympathetic reasons for building the genocide robot, he built the sentinels out of bigotry to wipe out mutants. He's not a victim in any way, he's an oppressor facing consequences for his actions.
Batman shooting Harvey Dent, his former best friend, a victim of severe mental illness and trauma that still has hope for recovery, and Rogue dropping the guy who made a genocide robot off of a building are both wildly different situations.
So in the context of MHA we have Shigaraki Tomura, a terrorist who's goal is to destroy japan enough that it will dismantle the hero system for good. Shigaraki Tomura is a ten year old child who lost control of his quirk and killed his family for mistake, he wandered for days in crowded city streets but not a single hero stopped to help him, then he was found by the main villain of the story and groomed for ten years into becoming his successor. Shigaraki is also surrounded by a group of societal outcasts who were failed by society in similiar ways, so Shigaraki knows he wasn't the only one failed by hero society and he starts to wage his war for their sake as much as his own.
In Invincible we have Angstrom Levy. Angstrom is not plotting mass murder the way that Shigaraki is. He is specifically only targetting Mark Grayson's family for revenge (at least the first time he showed up, the second time during the invincible war arc was different). Angstrom's revenge against Mark Grayson is misplaced, but to be fair the accident messed with his brain hardcore and he doesn't remember clearly what happened. He doesn't remember that he's the one who decided to stop the machine in order to help Mark. It's tragic. Angstrom also has the memories of like hundreds of different universes of evil Marks. Even though he's the victim of a tragic accident, he's also a victimizer in that he doesn't choose to just go after Mark, he deliberately picks Mark's family, his mother, and his infant little brother as a way of hurting Mark.
So both of these characters blur the line between villain and victim, but neither of them are like Trask in that they have no sympathetic motivation whatsoever. Shigaraki's actions don't come from bigotry, and he's not an oppressor. Trask was actually trying to do something good before his machine broke and his brains got scrambled, and now he wants personal revenge and to blame all his problems on Mark which is petty yes, but not on Trask's level of heartlessness.
So, there's a case that can be made here for both of them that there's room to save them. After all Mark and Deku aren't killers to begin with. Mark especially has an incredibly vested interest in not becoming a killer. Even if they don't explicitly go out of their way to save and redeem these two people, we're still at this point expecting the heroes to at least take down these two sympathetic figures non-lethally. Mark doesn't want to be like his dad and Deku has said explicitly he wants to save Shigaraki, and that OFA is a power for saving and not killing.
Also to sidestep this argument before people comment on my post with it.
What do you expect the heroes to just let a mass murderer live?
YES!
It happens in comics literally all the time.
Magneto, Wolverine, Jean Grey / Phoenix, Emma Scott, heck, OMNIMAN himself, all characters who have killed lots of people and all characters who get to live and even be on the heroes side. Of these three Jean Grey of all people has the highest body count.
Shonen Jump also has Vegeta. Have you ever heard of Vegeta? Most popular Shonen Rival of all time? Omni-man and Viltrumites are basically just Saiyans.
In real life they wouldn't let a mass murderer walk away but comics are not the same as real life. That's why characters are always punching dinosaurs all the time. Fun fact, if you were to try to punch a dinosaur in real life it would probably hurt your hand. I would advise against it. Dinosaurs are for the most part much stronger than human beings.
As I outlined above Shigaraki and Angstrom are different characters than Trask. They might all be murderers, but the first two have sympathetic elements and are humanized, they are victims of oppression (Angstrom's been killed by viltrumites in a whole bunch of worlds) whereas Trask is an oppressor.
So for both of these stories we are not expecting to see Deku and Mark kill their final villains (for the series and for this season). Deku because he's spent the final third of the series trying to work out a way to save the villains, and Mark because he doesn't want to turn out to be a violent murderer like his father so he's trying to be the most selfless, most perfect hero ever.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE STRONGER
So we finally reach the scenes in question and I thought I'd compare them without much commentary, just highlighting what happens without adding much spin.
So the final episode of Invincible Season 2 and Issue #33 of the comic is where Angstrom and Mark have it out. Angstrom appears in Mark's home and threatens his family. he brings up the comparison between Mark and his father right away. This is also something Angstrom has seen first hand by traveling to multiple universes where Mark has sided with his father.
In the cartoon he's a lot more confused because he's constantly remembering other universe's memories as if he were his own so he genuinely thinks he's taking down an evil viltrumite, in the comic he's being more petty and blaming Mark for his deformity (I think he doesn't remember that he was the one to take the helmet off by choice). In both versions he uses Mark's family as hostages to keep him from fighting back as he tries to send Markk to his death in several different realities.
Angstrom then ups the threat of violence from holding them hostage to threatening to kill them. In both the show and comic he brutally breaks Debbie's arm. Mark is sent through several more realities, only to discover that Debbie's arm is broken and lose his temper.
Mark and Angstrom's fist fight comes to an end, and while Mark has him on the ground he keeps hitting and hitting and hitting long after Angstrom stopped fighting back. Which is what prompts the famous "I thought you were stronger..."
Now, in this situation it looks pretty justifiable that Mark attacked Angstrom so aggressively,. it was self defense for one against a man trying to kill him and he only got truly aggressive after he saw his mother's arm get broken. Not only that he didn't intentionally kill Angstrom, you can argue he went too far in a case of clear self defense. Other people even tell Mark that this one isn't on him, including Cecil who compares Mark to his father the most.
Then, why is Mark so disturbed?
It's because this....
Is a deliberate parallel to this...
It's not just that Mark killed a man, it's that he killed a man by pounding on him relentlessly long after he'd stopped fighting back the exact same way his father did to him during their fight.
There's a difference between Mark say, fighting against a viltrumite and making a deliberate decision to kill them because of the danger that viltrumites represent to other people considering they are planet conquerors, and Mark killing this man because he lost his temper and couldn't control his own strength.
Mark spends the entire season trying to not be like his father, only to see first hand that he's capable of the exact same violence that his father is. The last episode of Season 2 summarizes this moment pretty perfectly in a montage of season 1 moments while Mark screams and breaks the sound barrier trying to push his viltrumite powers to their limits.
Mark: I'm strong enough and I can do this. It's all I've ever wanted for as long as I can remember. I want to do what you do. I want to be just like you.
Omni-Man: You will be, son. You will.
Mark screaming.
Omni-Man: You'll outlast every single fragile being on this planet. You'll live to see this world crumble to dust and blow away. Everyone and everything you know will be gone.
Mark screaming.
Cecil: You know who else said that to me?
Mark: I'm not my dad.
Mark screaming some more.
KRegg: Your father will be execute and you can return to earth. You will assume the mission to prepare earth for our rule.
So not only is Mark hit with the realization that he's just as capable of being violent and angry as his father is. He also is being forced by the situation to become more violent out of pragmatism, because if he doesn't get strong enough to fight viltrumites then they're going to come to his planet and take everything.
Not only has Mark lost some of his innocence, he's also being forced to throw the rest of it away. It's why Mark drops out of college at the end of the season because any pretense of balancing between his human life and his duty as a hero is gone. He is basically forced to be a viltrumite full time now and will abandon any semblance of trying to live his own life for a very, very long time until his relationship with Eve starts to get serious.
Which is why a pretty justifiable murder in this context is presented as so bloody, gruesome and traumatizing an event for both the audience and Mark himself. We both know there's no coming back from this.
As for the death of main series villain Shigaraki Tomura, Deku ends up being forced to kill Shigaraki in a situation similiar to Mark. Though I will highlight one difference right away. Mark was trying to reason with Angstrom, but he was at no point like "I want to save Angstrom, he's a victim I want to find some other way of ending this bloody conflict between us." Mark just didn't intend to go so far as killing him.
Deku entered the fight with the explicit stated desire to save Shigaraki rather than killing him, which would make him different from the previous generation of heroes because he wouldn't turn a blind eye to society's faults and victims like Shigaraki accused him of.
Deku makes a journey into Shigaraki's mental landscape to find Tenko in a recreation of the memory of the day of his worst trauma. As Tenko's quirk activates, Deku attempts to grab the little boy's hands to comfort him.
Deku's "Why I am here" is markedly different from All Might's. Deku says the reason he wants to save others is to take their hands, comfort them and give them peace, whereas All Might as the strongest hero tried to keep peace by beating all the villains down. Deku's way to become the greatest hero once again, focuses heavily on saving others, and offering his hand to everyone without hesitation instead of picking and choosing who to save like previous generations.
Deku even says that he has to extend a helping hand to everyone because he's learning that the world is more complicated than he thought, he was ignorant to a lot of people's suffering, and he can't sweep their pain under the rug anymore.
For a moment Deku unconditionally extending a hand to Shimura Tenko even as his mental body begins to decay away wins over Shimura Tenko. Though Shigaraki also resists because much like Twice he doesn't want to abandon the rest of his friends even if it means he personally will be saved.
However, any attempts to save Shigaraki are interrupted by AFO suddenly appearing out of nowhere and taking control of Shigaraki's body yet again.
At this point Deku does exactly what Mark does, which is relentlessly punch Shigaraki's body to death in order to kill AFO along with Shigaraki. In some small defese Shigaraki was also there too punching AFO in his mental landscape so he was assisting Deku in defeating AFO he wasn't helpless the entire time.
But, basically we see the same scene happen with Mark.
A hero who does not wish to kill is forced by circumstance to kill a villain. In Deku's case it should be even more devastating because they explicitly went into the fight wanting to save Shigaraki and they believed their power was for saving and not killing.
Yet, we don't get nearly as horrified a response from Deku.
However, instead Deku's final words are just about how he couldn't forgive Shigaraki and had to put a stop to him no matter what.
Even the way the scenes are presented to us are entirely different. Mark punches Angstrom in a wasteland a dry, dead place, until he's soaked in Angstrom's blood, and painted everything around him red. Once again, it's a visual callback to Mark's father beating him half to death, which was Mark's own lowest point.
Whereas, when Deku punches Shigaraki until he disintegrates not only is the violence or horror of Shigaraki's death not acknowledged, but it's played as a triumphant moment where the clouds clear from the sky and the stun starts shining.
In the cartoon Mark killing Angstrom leads to a total screaming breakdown where he has traumatic flashbacks of his dad beating him and pushes himself to break the sound barrier multiple times. It also leads him to making big life changes like dropping out of college to become a hero full time and giving up any pretense of having a normal life. As seen in a scene where he watches Amber from the sky, and is tempted to go down and greet her and just flies off, because Amber represents his connection to his humanity.
Also, Angstrom doesn't even die. He comes back way worse and that's how invinicble war arc starts.
In the aftermath of killing Shigaraki, Deku gets melancholy about not being able to save Shigaraki only to be reassured he did save him in the end. Only to be told by All Might that it's okay because he still saved Shigaraki's heart even if he killed him.
DEKU:
"I couldn't save Tenko's life."
"I reached out to his heart, and even though his hatred was crushed,"
"to the very end, Tenko"
"was the leader of the League of Villains."
ALL MIGHT:
"Let me tell you this as someone who has had a near-death experience,"
"I think it's in the expression on his face at the end."
"If there wasn't a crying boy there,"
"I think his heart was saved after all,"
People also try to convince mark that he did nothing wrong and that there was no helping what he did in a situation like that, but he doesn't let himself believe them.
The ending lines about the last episode of Season 2, are this:
Eve: I'm sorry Mark. It's not fair. You don't deserve this.
Eve: You don't deserve this.
Which has a double meaning. Eve is just trying to comfort Mark, because arguably he shouldn't have to feel guilty for fighting in self defense. On the other hand what Mark hears is You don't deserve this in the context of Eve's feelings for him. An alternate timeline version of Eve confessed her love for Mark. Mark was about to bring it up but decided not to. At that moment as Eve embraces and comforts him, what Mark hears because of his own self loathing is that he doesn't deserve Eve comforting him, or her love for him.
Just to clarify I don't think that Mark is crying over Angstrom Levy specifically. In fact over time he's painted to be pathetic in his obsession with revenge, and what he amounts to is just wanting to blame everything on invincible when it was partially caused by his own actions.
However, it's inarguable that killing (or rather seemingly killing Angstrom) deeply impacted Mark and how he saw himself as a hero. It's less about Angstrom, and more about the loss of control, and the realization of how powerful his anger and hatred can get and what that means for him personally.
It also shows us where Mark's priorities lie. Mark wants to be a perfect hero and a perfect family man, and Invincible shows us he can't be both, his desire to protect his family leads him to staining his blood when he was trying so hard to be a good, selfless hero. This is all a part of a deliberate arc where Mark chooses more and more to value his family over being a hero. I'm not going to say whether or not it's the right choice, but it's a choice he makes, as a part of his character development where as he grows up and becomes a father his priorities change.
My point is that this moment has an impactful change on Mark, for arguably the rest of the comic.
Now my question is, with My Hero Academia will the death of Shigaraki Tomura, the series greatest villain and it's greatest victim have an equal impact on Deku's character that Levy's death did on Mark's?
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