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thedivinefish · 2 years

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TGIWednesday... a memorable Thanksgiving

TGIWednesday News

I was in my early teens and rode my bike to my then girlfriend’s house for Thanksgiving dinner. The table was decorated like it was out of a magazine or on a Thanksgiving movie set. We had been dating for a while so I was comfortable with her parents and looking forward to the traditional Thanksgiving fare. There was turkey, stuffing and gravy and I glanced into the kitchen to see a pumpkin pie cooling on a counter next to a can of perspiring cool whip. After a grace that seemed like an eternity, we were ready to dig in. I took my turn but got a little of all of it - even (no thank you) a helping of some sort of questionable cranberry chutney. The main vegetable was revealed when her father removed a lid from a large corning ware container revealing 4 of the largest steaming vidalia onions I had ever seen. Yikes I thought to myself. I love chopped onions in any type of salad, on a hoagie, even scallions, anything raw, any color of purple, but not cooked onions! They were my kryptonite and could ruin any meal. I knew I would feel nauseous for hours and track the slow painful movement of the onion going through my body for days. Nope, not going to do it, and blurted out that I was allergic to onions like some teen that was in the principal’s office arguing that they were not technically late for school. During the holidays and any time you don’t want to do something, remember in the words of my momma the Great Granny Ruth. "No" is a one word sentence. I see you sticking up for your preferences, likes and dislikes regardless of what others might think or say or do. If there is something you don’t want to eat or do or be, just say No and let the chips (or onions) fall where they may. To thine own self be true! Seeing you enjoying these holidays and beyond as you read this now.

TGIWednesday Download

~ MEMORABLE THANKSGIVING ~ I believe, think, know and feel that I can say no to others without repercussions or fear of reprisal and I stand for what my preferences are here and now. I am ready, willing and able to fill my own cup to the runneth over level because I know I can be very generous on a full stomach! I know, when, where, how and why to speak and when to listen and be quiet, biding my time and my tongue and knowing that a kind tongue turneth away wrath! I am asking in all languages and throughout all time lines and so it is. Wishing you the very best of the holidays and beyond and that the rest of your life will be the best of your life while you’re making a little progress each and every day!

NOVEMBER ZOOM EVENT

WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 30TH 7:30pm Eastern (30 mins long) Pre-register at Calendly - Just $22 (includes reminders and replay) https://calendly.com/jmh-calls/november-2022-ywr1

THEME: Releasing the Barrier to Receiving Your Needs

There is so much to be thankful for during this time of year and when you take stock of your life, what is missing? Let's fill in the gaps. Often people deprive themselves of all levels of nourishment in order to give to others in a martyr-like fashion. If you're leaving your needs out, constantly exhausted, unable to get ahead and seem to be caught in a loop of chronic pains, this one's for you. What would it take to nourish your needs? A vacation? More money? A new romantic partner or the current one more inspired by you? Time off for good behavior?

THESE ARE THE 3 SAMPLE SENTENCES SO PLEASE FILL OUT EACH ONE AND TAKE YOUR TIME WITH IT, SIT WITH IT BEFORE SENDING TO [email protected] TOGETHER WE CAN ALL MAKE PROFOUND CHANGES!!!

1) The main barrier I see that is blocking me from receiving is______ (ie: me, a relative, work/ job/ career?)

2) I want to see myself as deserving but the main issue in my way is _____ (ie: childhood trauma, an angry spouse, sacrificing for others etc)

3) I believe I am worthy of more but the main part that’s blocking my worthiness is_____ (ie: past life issues, a parent who told me I was worthless, a lack of education, etc)

*NEW INSTRUCTIONS* Top 3 clearing submissions due to [email protected] by end of day Tuesday BEFORE the call.

? *NOTE* If you are a Darius Package C buyer for Season 24, this call is INCLUDED?, please DO NOT re-purchase. ?? ? You will get a ?FREE registration confirmation ?email by Nov. 28th with the link to join the live event and submit your items. The replay will be on the special offer download page.

Pre-Register Here - $22

Discounted MyBeliefWorks Audios

SAVE 20% AT CHECKOUT DURING THE MONTH OF NOVEMBER!

Healing Family Relationships: An acronym for FAMILY has been said to be "F@#$ed And Mainly Interested in Limiting You. Now if you grew up in a perfect idylic movie setting family, you won't need this audio mp3 LOL but for all others, you're going to want it & share with immediated family Relieving Holiday Stress - We’ve all experienced a not so pleasant holiday or family gathering, this can make it a lot less turbulent. This one is especially good to play at low volume throughout the holidays & gatheriings. Traveling with Ease - Very popular. clears you for easy travel, getting you through the gate/customs/TSA faster, you could get an upgrade or even smoother flights and flawless connections!

FREE Live Appearances

Watch and listen to hundreds of Radio Show replays for FREE here in the archives from the Jimmy Mack Healing Radio show.

https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack Own this e-book so that you can read inspiration every day!

NOVEMBER 23RD "Today I concentrate more on inflection and tone of how people are saying things rather than their words. I will realize that deeds and actions are so much more powerful than words. I will create movement by doing instead of just talking it to death."

Come See Me in the Tampa Office

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS

Jimmy Mack will be offering sessions at Dr. Charla Tempone’s office at Swann Holistic Health Solutions. Get on the schedule NOW! FRIDAY JANUARY 13TH | 10-4pm Please call their office directly at ?? (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes $45 or 30-minutes $75. If you’re new to working with him, we suggest you schedule 30 minutes. 403 S. Habana Ave. Tampa, FL 33609 Just south of Azeele next to Skin Savvy http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com/

From the Fish Box

Jimmy, I want to thank you again for your time during our session this past week. It truly made a tremendous difference! You came to mind as I was watching a fantastic interview with a sound engineer who worked with Prince, roughly over the time of Purple Rain through Sign of the Times. I don't know if you are into this sort of thing, but if you are, it is absolutely wonderful. I hope you all stayed safe in the latest storm. Take Care!" - Nichole / WA

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you.

In addition, throughout the full 30-days, Jimmy will be dialing into your energetic signature each day upon rising and make certain that you are a clear yes, unclear to no and running forward before you start your day. He is doing the heavy lifting for you around 3am NY time while most of you are asleep in order to smooth out your way and increase your most favorable life outcomes.

Upon written email request, for each new order we offer a one-time email analysis via the intelligent healing software that Jimmy uses on your behalf. Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes!

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers.

You can run this monthly and stop at any time after the 30 days is up, you will have the opportunity to renew and update your list each month but are under no obligation. I believe you will experience magical transformations and make progress every day! SUBSCRIPTION AUTO-RENEWAL ($95/mo - save $5) Purchase a recurring subscription Update your prayers monthly. You can cancel or pause anytime.

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IMPORTANT REMINDER: After your purchase of any digital files in the shop or in a special offer, you MUST Download them to a desktop, tablet or phone AND save them to your own device. These files get moved, replaced and updated over time and will not be forever active on your original purchase link. So be certain to download all of Jimmy’s eBook or audio files instead of listening to them from the live links directly. For Apple device users... look into installing the free app that the Apple Store provides so that you can download and store your files directly without requesting the alternate links. It may be worth looking into on your end for future convenience. https://apps.apple.com/us/app/files/id1232058109

Below is list of the 30+ audios in the MyBeliefWorks series…. Find a topic that addresses your issue(s), click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better. Don’t forget… you can share these with your immediate friends and family.

MyBeliefWorks Audio Series Receiving Abundance Freedom from Abuse Overcoming Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe Healing Experiencing Bountiful Harvest Igniting Creative Spark Discovering Your Destiny Daily GPS Reset Releasing Dark Energies/Fears Crossroads -Decision Making Diet & Exercise Support Education & Learning Support Empowering the Empath 20% OFF Healing Family Relationships Attracting a Financial Windfall Gold Coin: More Money in All Forms Joy of Money Healing Body Disorders

Lucky 777 Mental Stress 20% OFF Relieving Holiday Stress Increasing Intuition Easing IRS Stress & Taxes Finding Love & Romance Positive Money Mindset Moving Forward from Past Chronic Pain Relief Pet Healing Support Pro$perity Unlocked Improving Sales & Success Improving Sex Improving Sleep 20% OFF Traveling with Ease Work & Career Success Weight Loss Support Restoring Youth & Vitality

$19 Guided Energy Processes - MP3s

The 5 Anchors Process

The Purple Rain Process

The Magical Golden Key Process If you need a refresher on the basics of fishing...we've just revised the FREE MLF Training Kit with much NEW content. CLICK HERE.

Self-paced Online Courses Available Anchors Away Masterclass & Mastery/Practitioner Certification

MEMBERS LOGIN HERE

We recently launched our new ANCHORS AWAY MASTERCLASS and what has come through from Spirit is truly a game-changer in the way we can ALL now clear off evil, dark energies, aliens and anomalies in a deep, profound and lasting way.

I recorded a video to tell you more about how you can get access to my brand new Anchors Away Masterclass so you can learn how to protect and clear the 5 Anchors & more.

Watch the Video Now

MLF MASTERY LEVEL 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime!

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes The Tackle Box & The Dowser's Handbook ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.

Learn About Certification Here

Module 1 has about 3 hours of core material and Module 2 contains about 8 hours. Most people go through the course and take the test within a month but can be as fast as a week depending on how quickly you work through the pdfs, audios, videos, and testing. There is also many hours of OPTIONAL reference material.

TGIFunny

Forward

Jimmy Mack | Appointments Skype: Jimmy.Mack55 Clearwater Florida USA Book a 15 minute session Book a 30 minute session Book a 60 minute session Search FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions) ??? Transformational Healing of Body, Mind? & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!? ? Access the NEW MLF Online Training Audio MP3 Downloads? and books? to improve your life! Get Certified in ?My Liquid Fish™Change Made Simple™ Watch Free Videos on YouTube Radio Show Archives Healing and Grounding Mats ...enter code: MyLiquidFishfs at checkout for Free shipping! Shop for ?Supplements ? http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2022 All Rights Reserved

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.sandybidinger.com

Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

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divinefishingtips · 2 years

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TGIWednesday... a memorable Thanksgiving

TGIWednesday News

TGIWednesday Download

NOVEMBER ZOOM EVENT

WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 30TH 7:30pm Eastern (30 mins long) Pre-register at Calendly - Just $22 (includes reminders and replay) https://calendly.com/jmh-calls/november-2022-ywr1

THEME: Releasing the Barrier to Receiving Your Needs

THESE ARE THE 3 SAMPLE SENTENCES SO PLEASE FILL OUT EACH ONE AND TAKE YOUR TIME WITH IT, SIT WITH IT BEFORE SENDING TO [email protected] TOGETHER WE CAN ALL MAKE PROFOUND CHANGES!!!

1) The main barrier I see that is blocking me from receiving is______ (ie: me, a relative, work/ job/ career?)

2) I want to see myself as deserving but the main issue in my way is _____ (ie: childhood trauma, an angry spouse, sacrificing for others etc)

3) I believe I am worthy of more but the main part that’s blocking my worthiness is_____ (ie: past life issues, a parent who told me I was worthless, a lack of education, etc)

*NEW INSTRUCTIONS* Top 3 clearing submissions due to [email protected] by end of day Tuesday BEFORE the call.

Pre-Register Here - $22

Discounted MyBeliefWorks Audios

SAVE 20% AT CHECKOUT DURING THE MONTH OF NOVEMBER!

FREE Live Appearances

Watch and listen to hundreds of Radio Show replays for FREE here in the archives from the Jimmy Mack Healing Radio show.

https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack Own this e-book so that you can read inspiration every day!

Come See Me in the Tampa Office

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS

From the Fish Box

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers.

Use PayPal for subscription Click here Use Stripe for subscription Click here.

30-Days of Prayer - $99

$19 Guided Energy Processes - MP3s

The 5 Anchors Process

The Purple Rain Process

The Magical Golden Key Process If you need a refresher on the basics of fishing...we've just revised the FREE MLF Training Kit with much NEW content. CLICK HERE.

Self-paced Online Courses Available Anchors Away Masterclass & Mastery/Practitioner Certification

MEMBERS LOGIN HERE

I recorded a video to tell you more about how you can get access to my brand new Anchors Away Masterclass so you can learn how to protect and clear the 5 Anchors & more.

Watch the Video Now

MLF MASTERY LEVEL 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime!

Learn About Certification Here

TGIFunny

Forward

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.sandybidinger.com

Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

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365dailyaffirmations · 2 years

Text

TGIWednesday... a memorable Thanksgiving

TGIWednesday News

TGIWednesday Download

NOVEMBER ZOOM EVENT

WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 30TH 7:30pm Eastern (30 mins long) Pre-register at Calendly - Just $22 (includes reminders and replay) https://calendly.com/jmh-calls/november-2022-ywr1

THEME: Releasing the Barrier to Receiving Your Needs

THESE ARE THE 3 SAMPLE SENTENCES SO PLEASE FILL OUT EACH ONE AND TAKE YOUR TIME WITH IT, SIT WITH IT BEFORE SENDING TO [email protected] TOGETHER WE CAN ALL MAKE PROFOUND CHANGES!!!

1) The main barrier I see that is blocking me from receiving is______ (ie: me, a relative, work/ job/ career?)

2) I want to see myself as deserving but the main issue in my way is _____ (ie: childhood trauma, an angry spouse, sacrificing for others etc)

3) I believe I am worthy of more but the main part that’s blocking my worthiness is_____ (ie: past life issues, a parent who told me I was worthless, a lack of education, etc)

*NEW INSTRUCTIONS* Top 3 clearing submissions due to [email protected] by end of day Tuesday BEFORE the call.

Pre-Register Here - $22

Discounted MyBeliefWorks Audios

SAVE 20% AT CHECKOUT DURING THE MONTH OF NOVEMBER!

FREE Live Appearances

Watch and listen to hundreds of Radio Show replays for FREE here in the archives from the Jimmy Mack Healing Radio show.

https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack Own this e-book so that you can read inspiration every day!

Come See Me in the Tampa Office

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS

From the Fish Box

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers.

Use PayPal for subscription Click here Use Stripe for subscription Click here.

30-Days of Prayer - $99

$19 Guided Energy Processes - MP3s

The 5 Anchors Process

The Purple Rain Process

The Magical Golden Key Process If you need a refresher on the basics of fishing...we've just revised the FREE MLF Training Kit with much NEW content. CLICK HERE.

Self-paced Online Courses Available Anchors Away Masterclass & Mastery/Practitioner Certification

MEMBERS LOGIN HERE

I recorded a video to tell you more about how you can get access to my brand new Anchors Away Masterclass so you can learn how to protect and clear the 5 Anchors & more.

Watch the Video Now

MLF MASTERY LEVEL 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime!

Learn About Certification Here

TGIFunny

Forward

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.sandybidinger.com

Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

0 notes

advancedthetapractitioner · 2 years

Text

TGIWednesday... a memorable Thanksgiving

TGIWednesday News

TGIWednesday Download

NOVEMBER ZOOM EVENT

WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 30TH 7:30pm Eastern (30 mins long) Pre-register at Calendly - Just $22 (includes reminders and replay) https://calendly.com/jmh-calls/november-2022-ywr1

THEME: Releasing the Barrier to Receiving Your Needs

THESE ARE THE 3 SAMPLE SENTENCES SO PLEASE FILL OUT EACH ONE AND TAKE YOUR TIME WITH IT, SIT WITH IT BEFORE SENDING TO [email protected] TOGETHER WE CAN ALL MAKE PROFOUND CHANGES!!!

1) The main barrier I see that is blocking me from receiving is______ (ie: me, a relative, work/ job/ career?)

2) I want to see myself as deserving but the main issue in my way is _____ (ie: childhood trauma, an angry spouse, sacrificing for others etc)

3) I believe I am worthy of more but the main part that’s blocking my worthiness is_____ (ie: past life issues, a parent who told me I was worthless, a lack of education, etc)

*NEW INSTRUCTIONS* Top 3 clearing submissions due to [email protected] by end of day Tuesday BEFORE the call.

Pre-Register Here - $22

Discounted MyBeliefWorks Audios

SAVE 20% AT CHECKOUT DURING THE MONTH OF NOVEMBER!

FREE Live Appearances

Watch and listen to hundreds of Radio Show replays for FREE here in the archives from the Jimmy Mack Healing Radio show.

https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack Own this e-book so that you can read inspiration every day!

Come See Me in the Tampa Office

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS

From the Fish Box

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers.

Use PayPal for subscription Click here Use Stripe for subscription Click here.

30-Days of Prayer - $99

$19 Guided Energy Processes - MP3s

The 5 Anchors Process

The Purple Rain Process

The Magical Golden Key Process If you need a refresher on the basics of fishing...we've just revised the FREE MLF Training Kit with much NEW content. CLICK HERE.

Self-paced Online Courses Available Anchors Away Masterclass & Mastery/Practitioner Certification

MEMBERS LOGIN HERE

I recorded a video to tell you more about how you can get access to my brand new Anchors Away Masterclass so you can learn how to protect and clear the 5 Anchors & more.

Watch the Video Now

MLF MASTERY LEVEL 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime!

Learn About Certification Here

TGIFunny

Forward

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.sandybidinger.com

Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

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silverloreley · 4 years

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What a delusion...

I was cautiously optimistic about Wandavision before it came out. I thought it could lead me to reconnect a bit with the MCU (I intentionally skipped a lot of movies and disliked every one I saw after AoU, with a small exception for Black Panther and Dr Strange, not to mention I never finished Endgame, so...).

Dear, I was wrong.

I started watching it with some interest after seeing the trailer on tv, I have been a long-time fan of Bewitched and I hoped for something on that line, a lighthearted fantasy Wanda concocted to deal with the loss, only for someone to get in and help her get out of it and cope in a more reasonable way because they needed her or something, or maybe because she was an Avenger who went missing and people wondered what happened to her and if what she was doing could be dangerous (a reasonable belief, I may add, given her precedents...), a thing like that. And it sort of was like that, except it wasn’t?

And, okay, I was biased from my own high expectations, I wished for things that weren’t there and Marvel would have never given me (full and well-thought plot, emotions, exploration of magic in the MCU and so forth), but I didn’t think they could mess up so bad. The finale in particular was a train wreck.

Why introduce new characters (and bring back Darcy) if they are of no consequence in the final showdown? I guess they needed to introduce White Vision (even though I can’t fathom why...) plus make an origin story for the powers of Monica (to whom I had no prior attachment since I didn’t see Captain Marvel but I grew quickly fond of her here), but what else? We didn’t get to see her abilities or her coming to terms with them (which would have been great and possible if she had been introduced to the plot earlier) or anything. Nor it made me hope to see her again because I am back to be uninterested in anything Marvel after this mess. The fact they gave us the twins only to take them away like that and in the after credits make them call for mom made me irrationally angry on top of the rest. I won’t even mention the whole Quicksilver matter because it was plain stupid to cause all that hype for nothing.

I don’t really understand how could they ruin it so badly, especially after how good ep8 had been in comparison to the rest. Meh.

To cite @lucianalight, how can we consider Wanda a hero after that? Even leaving out what she did before (she was pardoned for her AoU actions by joining the Avengers and fixing what she’s done as much as she could and we don’t know how many lives she saved before CW happened, so I give her the benefit of doubt that she redeemed herself a bit there), but now we saw she kept the town trapped even after she realized what she did! Agatha may have wanted to take her powers but she had a point in saying “heroes don’t torture”, and then what did Wanda do afterwards? Condamned Agatha, who could have been a great teacher to her, maybe a good friend in due time, to live a shallow life as a brainwashed dimwit?! WHY? Agatha had a point. Multiple points, if we take the hints the Scarlet Witch would be the one who destroys the Multiverse. In a way, Agatha was trying to prevent that by taking the power she saw, a win-win situation at the expenses of Wanda, I’ll give you that, but ultimately not that villainous.

I guess that what I’m trying to say is: why couldn’t the plot be more coherent with the idea Wanda was a hero AND with the MCU in general?

But, hey, Marvel sucks at anything but special effects and I don’t know why I had hopes for this show. Just like I don’t have any more hopes for the Loki series (which is a pity because I wished so bad for Tom Hiddleston to reprise the role on his own terms with some creativity freedom that could take Loki back to the Shakesperean anti-hero from his early days I love so much, but clearly Marvel doesn’t know what a precious resource they have, blame on them).

(And here I realize I elaborated a rewriting of WandaVision so I’ll put it under a read more because it wasn’t the original point of this post, lol)

Would it have been too hard to make the first episode and half as they were, then introduce Monica as they did but without a whole town hostage and more like, I don’t know, a magic red coocoon the size of the house in the middle of a simple town that alarmed a lot of people? Maybe with people being sucked in for a few hours from time to time and with no memories of it, except for the transmission of the “episodes” on a magically appeared channel in the town’s tv.

And then Monica, who tried to get in and was sent out, would recognize Agatha as someone from “outside” too and try to figure out what was going on. Cue Monica and Agatha both trying to “wake” Wanda each in their own way but Monica, who understands Wanda’s grief a little better than Agatha, would be the one to breach out Wanda’s on a feelings-level while Agatha, being more interested in Wanda’s powers would try to see the full extent of them.

Here I had two ideas: Agatha is a gray-character who just wants to study another witch, maybe to figure her out or to have a student after centuries alone. Or Villain Agatha who wants to unleash chaos magic to the greatest extend possible to get her own gain, maybe to exploit the twins who were spawned from pure magic, or, as it was speculated, she’s allied with Mephisto who wants the kids for his own nefarious scheme.

Either way, Wanda has to face Agatha. First scenario: Agatha realizes Wanda is the Scarlet Witch and offers to teach her a proper way of magic, perhaps to avoid the destruction of the Universe the Darkholme (I hope I got the name right) predicts, with Monica, who is finding her own powers and dealt with her grief along with Wanda, convinces Wanda it’s a good idea. Second case: Agatha kidnaps the boys and sends them to Mephisto, Wanda and Monica fight her but the boys are lost in the Multiverse and Wanda has to teach herself magic to find them again.

About Vision, the fact he was an illusion and Wanda didn’t steal the corpse to revive it was the only good point of the plot, their goodbye was very emotional and I liked it enough to think it could have stayed the same, but the boys were born through Chaos magic so they woulndn’t disappear. In the grey!Agatha scenario, they would stay with Wanda in the cottage while she learns magic (we could have had a cool scene with her playing with the kids while her astral projection studies magic, like in the post-credit scene), only to be kidnapped mysteriously when she turns for a second.

And maybe my take shows I would have liked more friendship between Wanda and Monica, and maybe I think Agnes’ potential and all the implication of her very existence were wasted, maybe I would have given people the cameo we were expecting with Strange showing up at the cottage with a “you need to learn things properly if you want to save your kids and not destroy the multiverse by accident”, and so on.

#wandavison spoilers #just my personal thoughts #it's long and unedited please be nice if you spot mistakes I wrote half of it while watching Sanremo #I'm sure there are plot holes in my idea but I wrote it in 15 minutes so whatever #it's not like I'm paid for it #unlike Marvel authors

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neverheardnothing · 4 years

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The Black Suits song ranking

Happy (late) Black Suits Day (eighteenth of September) y'all! Not that anyone asked but I have decided on my personal Black Suits song ranking. As always, I am very correct with my Joe Iconis music takes and will accept no criticism. Also I'm talking about 2013 here. Love yourself (and the work) and listen to 2013 instead of 2012 for better audio quality and a tighter book.

Spirit Song - I don't think anyone is surprised this is my top ranked song lol. "A melody only exists when someone hears, and the number one thing that I've learned through all my years. The fans and the family make the music strong, and the cheering is just as important as the song!" As Will describes it, it's a love letter to audiences (hey, that's me!) and when I listen to this song I'm always reminded of how much Joe believes in the message of this song, that the audience is part of the show.

Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang - [Joe Iconis voice] the language of the show. A lot of this list was influenced by not only how much I liked the song but by how well the songs functioned as extensions/expansions of the scene and the believability of that character singing the song. To me Bangx5 is one of the ultimate examples of this. The lyrics "there's a heavy metal hole where a soul used to be" like that's SO teenage angst and overdramatic just like Chris is supposed to be in this moment. I remember when I first heard the song I was like "is that it? Simple repeated [I am ___] lyrics for your act 1 finale? Seems a bit underwhelming even if it musically goes hard" but then after like another listen through of the show or so I realized that was the intention. When you're seventeen or so and you feel like your world is crashing down around you, sometimes the only way you can articulate it is "I am white boy rage, I am in a cage, I am bang bang bang bang bang bang bang." You are bang, you are loud crashing noises, your emotions are too loud and intense to be described with your limited vocabulary but you try anyways and fail. I love the contrast of the lyrics "I am chew my pens" and "I am hurt my friends" right next to each other. And the harmony at the end? Chefs fucking kiss.

Amphibian - This song is so goddamn fun. Like honestly. That’s it. Nato is chilling by himself and makes up a song about himself and his frog and it’s the best goddamn time in the show. You really get the feeling like these characters are actually friends. I love the “idiot” Nato vs “smart” Brandon. The “who cares about Beethoven. It’s a movie about a dog” joke never fails to make me laugh. When Brandon is expecting a regular bridge to the song and Nato whips out the falsetto and he goes “oh my God” like. Peak comedy here. And also Will Roland doing That? I’m in awe. Like this is what The Black Suits (the band) is, friends hanging out and having fun with music, that makes the next scene when the band formally break up so sad.

It's All Good - “So we’re cool and whatever?” It’s such a teenage boy thing to say. Like you want to acknowledge that you guys have been through something but at the same time you want to undercut it so you don’t run the risk of seeming too openly emotional. I’m also only very slightly bitter about that review that was like “oh wait so the only stakes of this show is the battle of the bands?” Like hello? Did you not see the show or listen to a single second of the finale? It’s about the way these characters communicate in their kinda inadequate ways and how they use music to express themselves. In a way it’s classic, cliche musical theater 101, with the characters unable to say what they feel with plain English so they resort to music, but of course with a Joe Iconis twist. The stakes aren’t the fucking battle of the band, it’s the friendship between the boys. It’s literally so obvious I want to scream. Anyways this song is fantastic way to end the show.

Car Ride To Long Beach - That's right. Car Ride To Long Beach is 5th place. I'm only very slightly bitter about the review that was like "is fried chicken REALLY the deciding factor in going on a drug run?" And by slightly bitter I mean this person goes on the list of people I want to beat up for being so fucking wrong about a Joe show. No, you fucking fool, that's not actually the deciding factor. She's at least on the fence, if not already secretly decided yes, about it from the moment he asks. It's about the company, it's about the road trip, it's about breaking the rules after having been "good" for so long. I am so adamant that this song is about desire and thrill and guilt and wanting to be seen for who you are and not just John saying obscene things. Like take the dialogue exchange right before she finally vocally says yes. "What do I look like right now?" "Uh. You look like... Lisa?" "... Alright let's go." Like tell me that does not drive you fucking crazy after Lisa's constant questions about others perception of her and trying to figure out who she is herself. Car Ride To Long Beach is good you guys are just mean.

Social Worker - Another example of an incredibly fitting character song. The refusal and reluctance of a teenage boy to admit that he actually needs or gets mental health help. I love the music-ification of a panic attack as loud drums and electric guitar. "I don't really go to the social worker," he says, as he goes to the social worker. It’s truly hilariously, heartbreakingly fitting for his character.

The Answer - When that Things To Ruin reviewer said Joe is a master of putting commonly shared moments to music no one else has done before, they were right. Who HASN’T taken a test and failed it so utterly they started questioning their entire life and worried for their future before? I love the repeated lyric questions like John is sitting there reading the question over and over trying to figure out what the answer is. I love the synthy keyboard. Fantastic choice @ Charlie Rosen.

Band-Aids and Cigarettes - Oh this song is so good I feel guilty about putting it at 8. It’s like honestly heartbreaking, not being able to give what the other person needs and being aware of it. And the unconventionality of it being sung by the mentor character instead of a love interest or something.

The Feeling (Part 1 and 2) - Yeah I’m combining them into one song and also assuming the entire beach/Chris & Mrs. Werring conversation is part of the song, too, with the interlude of the “I just want something good to happens.” This song is a jam, plain and simple. I love the absolutely terrible advice that Mrs. Werring gives Chris. “You got to push all your worries inside of yourself, and then they’ll mix creating a combustible boom.” Awful! But Annie Golden sings it so well. And it makes Band-Aids and Cigarettes later that much more sad. In part 2, I love how interconnected the two conversations are. “Just breathe them in -> I love the beach.” The synchronous “I don’t even remember why I liked him/her in the first place.” The score here having the Spirit Song melody. Also now feels like a good time to bring up my Lisa Bred is nonbinary headcanon (though it’s practically textual canon) with “I’m not a girl, I’m a song.” Like that right there, she literally states she’s not a girl, and that’s just the most obvious part. Twice before now, she’s asked people about how they perceive her (“what do I look like right now?” “my girlfriend?” / “Lisa”) and her arc in this show up to this point is discovering more about herself and trying new things. She’s aware of societal gender norms (“isn’t that what boyfriend girlfriends are supposed to do?”) and how she doesn’t really fit in with them. She’s experimenting with expressing herself (dyeing her hair blue, photography). Like it’s all right there. I don’t know if Joe was intentionally writing a nonbinary character figuring herself out but that’s what I get when I read the text straight. In Lisa’s mind, John is one of the gateways to trying new things (“you give me this feeling”) and then that blends right into the rest of The Feeling and it’s so fucking GOOD. I love this song.

Blue Hair - The OG Joe Iconis viral song! I love the music song of this song so much, specifically the guitar/piano riff. I love the multiple sources of motivation of doing it, from actually wanting to try something different, to getting a reaction from Chris and John, even if she denies that last part. And then again at the end of the song with her self-awareness. She’s doing something to stand out/express herself! I love it.

Nato's Song - A six minute clusterfuck of a song and it’s beautiful. Sticking to the actual Nato stuff right now, I think it’s a pretty clever way of passing time and seeing how it’s affecting him and everyone else in the show. With the interspersed content of other characters, it really is the musical equivalent of a film montage. I love seeing Chris’ further breakdown in the form of voicemails to his dad. The music of Blue Hair, Old Records, and Rather Be coming back is fucking great. Everyone is just struggling in this song and it’s great.

Rock 'N Roll Band (Reprise) - I love this re-introduction song so much and the differences between it and the original. I love the chaoticness of the solos all going at the same time. I love the cut Geek Rock Garage King still making in into the show as Brandon’s bridge and how out of place it is with the rest of the song musically but yet it’s still in it. I love the a capella break with Mrs. Werring cheering them on.

Old Records - The fact that John plays the guitar as Chris sings it for someone to hear is so good. When he gets affirmation that John likes the song, he continues. And it’s only after being called out about his writing revealing things about him that Chris feels bad about the song again and claims that they were just dummy lyrics. Once John leaves the backing music comes back on like glockenspiel or something and I love the lightness of it combined with the electric guitar that comes in after.

Black Suit On - I know we’re at like 3/4ths through but I honestly love this song. I love all the songs so much. This ranking honestly barely matters because I love all the songs in this show. I love the (unrealistic) idea of finally being able to be your best self, of all your problems going away, if only something symbolic but ultimately inconsequential thing were to happen. It’s about the (shared) vision for a different future than the one you’re currently living! (By the way I am so haunted by Jen Tepper saying this song was actually about LIHN. Like does anyone know what that means? Do I fundamentally misunderstand this song or LIHN? I don’t get the connection.)

Lisa - Once again, the relatability. Who hasn’t felt like they were good enough for another person? I love the specificity of the AOL verse. It’s so late 2000s. And the rest of the lyrics are so angsty and overdramatic as John is. Specifically in the context of the show this song really hurts after Lisa tells him she can’t fix whatever issues are wrong with him.

Rock 'N Roll Band - I love how the entire song is so what teenagers going through school, waiting for life to change, and seeking refuge in the only place where they feel like they are important and can be themselves. I love all their intros. I love Brandon going way too hard on the drums. “I’m gonna scream and shout, knock you out. I’m gonna conquer the world, get the girl. I’m gonna get some respect, finally connect. When I take a stand, with my rock ‘n roll band.” The extreme vividness of the type of stuck they feel here is so good and it’s a good summary of the show.

Pop Tarts - I love that this song is still called Pop Tarts despite all references to it having been removed except for one dialogue. I love the section of Chris’ vision for the band. The pre-reprise of the beginning of It’s All Good with “we’re cool and whatever?” and all of them joining in and getting on the same page. We love some boys just absolutely barely capable of communicating with each other with words.

Song In My Head/Only Person In The World - The absolute irony and poetry of John singing “I’m the only person in the world” and Chris singing about how everyone is gone when this is a duet. It’s literally so fucking good. When they both sing “I’m the only person in the world” at the same time? Are you kidding me? And this song is ranked 18th? Truly every song in this show is top tier.

Rather Be - This song is rather on the nose in its message, everyone would rather be at band rehearsal. It’s a solid song that helps us get into each of their characters more (“rather be where my buddies / now the same bands / and tolerate my drum fills” / “where my brothas like that I’m weird / and ask to see my squid impression” / “because we’ve only got a little while to get fantastic and get some style / if we do it soon then I won’t have to go to college” / “christ I’d rather be anywhere / but sitting trapped here taking this asshole test”). I love it when characters in shows all have different reasons for singing the same lines.

McFly Is Looking For A Drummer - Rip to this song, being ranked last. It’s not that I don’t like it because I actually do. Again, I just love all the songs in this show. He’s trying to communicate in his own way, which happens to be in music references, but that’s not how other people around him understand, and so he sees this opportunity to be with people who are more like him, but then he he gets scared that he wouldn’t fit in the way he hopes he would, which would be even worse than where he’s currently at where he knows that they don’t quite get him but are his friends anyways. I love that one moment where he drops out singing. It’s very reminiscent of in Michael In The Bathroom when you expect him to sing the title words but he doesn’t, so your brain fills it in for you. It functions a bit differently than that moment does in BMC though. I think in this song it’s the comparison of how he’s currently treated with the possibility of what McFly represents, that he could have the exact opposite experience there, that he’s imagining all the possibilities in that moment. Lol, ranked 20 and I still have so many things to say about this song.

#teresa talks #the black suits #tbs #my posts #long post #i s2g i am so goddamn full of joe iconis lore and thoughts about his shows that it's Concerning #also lisa is nonbinary like that literally Is the surface level reading of the text i cant believe no one ever talks about that #by the way im being sarcastic about Being Right on all my takes if you cant tell except the one about car ride to long beach im dead fucking #serious about that one. insult this song and ill end you #and i choose to read the 'punk-y not lesbian-y' line as in de-bi-al (in bi denial)#and for real start listening to 2013 over 2012 i promise the ben platt isnt worth all that much #i am Struggling on this post sorry if u keep seeing me post it and delete it lol #this one stays up for real tho idc if theres any problems with it #edit: motherfucker it doesnt show up in the black suits tag lol #also i dont go on stan twitter if nonbinary lisa is a stale take im sorry ive never seen it here tho

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xbaebsae · 4 years

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OTP Questions

Tagged by @f0xyboxes , @dieguzguz, @nightwingshero, @deputyrhiannonhale and @returnofthepd3 thanks for thinking of me sweethearts♥

(art by minilev)

Rheese Bennett & Jacob Seed (idk if anyone even reads these except me but under cut because long post)

DISAGREEMENTS

Who is more likely to raise their voice? Jacob. Now don’t get me wrong, he doesn’t loose his cool all that easy but Rheese can be a pain sometimes and he lacks the patience.

Who threatens to leave but never actually does? Neither of them.

Who actually keeps their word and leaves? This is actually what Rheese does when they break up about three months before the game. He finally is too deluded by Joseph’s demands of him that she cannot get through to him anymore and keep him from hurting people. They have a pretty bad fight about him torturing people that ends with him actually slapping her with the intention of making her shut up because she wouldn’t stop arguing against him. She gives him one moment to apologize for that, but he doesn’t so she leaves :’)

Who trashes the house? They frequently throw things at each other.

Do either of them get physical? Depends on when. Jacob pushes her around sometimes or touches her pretty roughly when he suffers from the effects of his PTSD. No domestic violence though. They also land real blows in training fights, same level bad on both sides really.

It’s worse during the arrest when they aren’t together anymore. Jacob was pretty devastated when he realized she actually left for good (he interpreted ‘i am leaving’ as her going home). It resulted in a lot of self blame (justified) which his family couldn’t really deal with. Joseph convinced him in the end that she was just another test he had to overcome in his life to find his correct path. So, he pretty much behaves just like he does in-game. She doesn’t get special treatment, she gets starved and thrown into murder trials like everyone else.

How often do they argue/disagree? Pretty often. In the beginning it’s all they do, until they realize that having normal conversations every once in a while isn’t so bad actually.

Who is the first to apologize? Apologies are for the weak :)

SEX

Who is on top? Jacob

Who is on the bottom? Rheese (though she won’t admit it if you asked her)

Who has the strangest desires? It’s nothing very strange tbh (at least not by my definition of strange... god i’ve seen ... things on deviantart. Definetly none of that!)

Any kinks? Yeah, the perfect combo of wanting to feel powerless and wanting to feel in control. It complies with their character really. Rheese was forced to take care of herself ever since her teen years, which developed her into a pretty tough person. She likes the control she has over her life, and doesn’t let herself be pushed around by anyone. Feeling stripped of that control is however really exciting for her. Jacob’s kinda the other way around (imo anyway) in that he’s constantly following orders nevermind when or where, even within his own family (to not disappoint Joseph).

Who’s dominant in bed? Jacob, Rheese only if he forces her to be :)

Is head ever in the equation? Yes

If so, who is better at performing it? Rheese. Slightly unfair though because she’s simply worse on the receiving end.

Ever had sex in public? Yeah, much to her dismay.

Who moans the most? Rheese

Who leaves the most marks? Both do in different ways.

Who is the more experienced of the two? Jacob

Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’? Even the nastiest sex is ‘making love’ to them really. It’s frankly a form of talking to them because they both truly suck at verbal communication. Also, Rheese has the old fashioned rule in her life that she won’t sleep with people she isn’t sure about, so before actually being together they don’t have sex. Tho she’s close to breaking that rule multiple times.

Rough or soft? Rough, sometimes foreplay is soft.

How long do they usually last? Depends on time and mood. Also Rheese is a lot younger so she sometimes could go again when he can’t. However that doesn’t mean he gets the best of her sometimes :’)

Is protection used? Yes on her side

Does it ever get boring? No

Where is the strangest place they’d have sex? Some small cabin at the place they train Judges. It was kinky, they got caught and she prefers to just not talk about it ever again.

FAMILY

Do they plan on having children/or have children? No, they never wanted to. Their daughter Jaina was an unwanted accident.

If so, how many children do they want/have? They have 1 and that’s already more than they wanted.

AFFECTION

Who likes to cuddle? Rheese

Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places? Jacob usually. But sometimes she’s good at it as well.

Who struggles to keep their hands to themself? Jacob, and it bothers her a lot in public. He doesn’t really care about what his people think of him, he knows he’s the boss so they can’t say shit. It’s also a way of just showing off that she belongs to him and that’s exactly why she doesn’t like it, cause she ain’t property. Also, people might believe she only became a Chosen trainer because she fucks the boss, which isn’t true because she got that position from someone other than Jake, based entirely on her performance.

How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable? Until Rheese falls into deep sleep and starts spreading her limbs everywhere uncontrolably.

Who gives the most kisses? Jacob

What is their favourite non-sexual activity? Honestly, just existing next to each other is enough. They are just as happy just sitting in the same room, doing their own tasks, as they are going out for a fishing trip (actually she hates fishing, but the lakes are nice).

Where is their favourite place to cuddle? The bed

How often do they get time to themselves? Usually evenings and nights. They would have more time together if Rheese didn’t value her alone time. Sometimes she prefers to spend her days off alone, going on a ride through the forests or just relaxing without anybody around. He doesn’t quite approve of that but she doesn’t let herself be locked up.

SLEEPING

Who snores? None of them

If both do, who snores the loudest? Nobody

Do they share a bed or sleep separately? Share a bed when living together.

If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart? Usually fall asleep cuddling but where they end up is entirely up to chance.

What do they wear to bed? Underwear usually. Though t-shirts along with that in the beginning.

Are either of them insomniacs? Jake has trouble sleeping and often wakes up. Her presence helps him but she’s not a magic sleeping pill so the issue never fully disappears.

Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside? Nah

Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side? Usually the first, when it’s too hot the latter.

Who wakes up with bed hair? Both. Rheese loves his messy hair, especially after she bullied him enough into letting it grow a bit. He however calls her hay-head, because her hair gets all tangled up and poofy despite being tied into a braid.

Who wakes up first? He does, good luck getting her outta bed before 10.

Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other? Nobody does, they aren’t romantic.

What is their favourite sleeping position? Rheese digging her face in the space between his neck and shoulders while one leg and one arm hugs him and he has an arm around her.

Do they set an alarm each night? When there’s work the next day.

Can a television be found in their bedroom? No, though she sometimes uses his laptop to watch movies.

Who has nightmares? Jacob has real ones, Rheese only the occasional bad dream we all get sometimes.

Who has ridiculous dreams? She dreams demented shit sometimes, never talks about it though.

Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed? Rheese, she’s a restless sleeper. Got kicked out of the bed for it more than once.

Who makes the bed? Neither of them. They don’t care about it being untidy.

What time is bed time? Depends. Usually Rheese stays awake longer to finish watching movies.

Any routines/rituals before bed? Nothing special, sometimes talking, sometimes a movie, sometimes sex, sometimes just hugging in silence.

Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up? Jake, esp when she talks too much in the morning.

WORK

Who is the busiest? They both are pretty equally busy.

Who rakes in the highest income? It doesn’t really matter to them. The cult pays food and since they don’t care much about materialism, they don’t need much money.

Are any of them unemployed? They have their job in the cult. Rheese works as a deputy before and after her stay there. so no.

Who takes the most sick days? Neither really take any unless they are really so sick they can’t move. It’s an unhealthy work ethic but they feel useless when just lying in bed all day.

Who is more likely to turn up late to work? Jake didn’t before, but he sometimes does because of her in the morning. Not that he really minds though, who’s gonna say anything against him?

Who sucks up to their boss? Jacob in regards to Joseph, which Rheese thinks is very unhealthy. She doesn’t like how he lets himself be used so much and mostly blindly follows whatever his brother says. They have a lot of arguments about this and in the end it’s what ruins their relationship.

What are their jobs? He’s head of security at Eden’s Gate. She’s a deputy, then pseudo joins the cult and works herself up to become a trainer of the Chosen, then she returns to her deputy position for the arrest.

Who stresses the most? He does

Do they enjoy or despise their careers/occupations? Police work wasn’t her passion. It was just a career she thought wouldn’t be boring. No noble motives and such. She only reprises her role as the deputy for the arrest because she falsely blames herself for everyone who’s been hurt by Jake’s hands after she left him. Her return is based on her trying to redeem herself. She had fun training Chosen, but she wouldn’t want to be part of any torture cult.

Jacob barely has any opinion on his work. He believes what he does is what needs to be done and he’s the best suited person for the job. You won’t find him complain, though he secretly just wants peace in his life. He hopes the cult’s actions will ultimately lead to that.

Are they financially stable? They have enough.

HOME

Who does the washing? Neither until one of them is fed up with the pile in the sink or the lack of clean plates in the shelf.

Who takes out the trash? Usually Rheese is bothered by it first.

Who does the ironing? They don’t

Who does the cooking? She makes good pancakes. But other than that? Don’t allow her in the kitchen because she can’t cook for shit. He can cook a couple of things but is often simply too lazy to ‘play housewife’ so their dinners often consist of very simplistic things. Occasionally one of them will bring home takeout.

Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying? Rheese, just...keep her out of the kitchen.

Who is messier? Both pretty much. His place is a mess and she isn’t bothered by it because her apartment looked the same.

Who leaves the toilet roll empty? Jake, to annoy her.

Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor? They both just throw them wherever.

Who forgets to flush the toilet? Jake, again to annoy her. (her ‘ewww you’re fucking nasty’ face is really entertaining)

Who is the prankster around the house? Neither, they diss each other a lot, sometimes joke on the other’s cost but no deliberate pranks.

Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere? Doesn’t really happen.

Who mows the lawn? No lawn

Who answers the telephone? They answer their own cells respectively. He refuses to get a smartphone.

Who does the vacuuming? They don’t own a vacuum cleaner. Only a broom and a mop.

Who does the groceries? Usually he does.

Who takes the longest to shower? Rheese, she enjoys the feel of hot water on her skin.

Who spends the most time in the bathroom? Not much difference there. Rheese doesn’t bother anymore with any routines and such after Jake told her he hates when she wears makeup because it makes his hands sticky when he touches her face :’) Though sometimes she will still put eyeliner out of habit.

MISCELLANEOUS

Is money a problem? No, they don’t need much.

How many cars do they own? Jake own an old truck and a motorcycle, Rheese used to have a car but sold it. She prefers riding on her horse Nugget anyway.

Do they own their home or do they rent? She had an apartment in Missoula before ‘joining’. Then she lived at Stone Ridge for a while, then she moved in with him to his place. A tiny cabin far up a mountain at the far outside of the region.

Do they live in the city or in the country? Country

Do they enjoy their surroundings? Yes, especially the forests.

What’s their song? You Give Love a Bad Name - Bon Jovi

What do they do when they’re away from each other? Working, doing their own thing, living. He’s more possessive about her than she is about it. But they both function normally when not being together.

Where did they first meet? Technically at the church during her very first sermon to ‘join’ the project. But they only interacted about a week later when he’s supposed to bring her to her initiation at John’s place. They immediately hate each other :’)

Who spends the most money when out shopping? Whoever does the grocery shopping? They both aren’t big on other shopping trips.

Who’s more likely to flash their assets? She’s not very show off-y. Jacob likes showing she ‘belongs to him’.

Who finds it amusing when the other trips over? Both

Any mental issues? Rheese doesn’t really, she lost her parents and her family is extremely distant but it never gave her trauma.

Jacob still deals with the aftermath of war esp. His PTSD gets bad sometimes and he has sleeping issues.

Who’s terrified of bugs? She is afraid of spiders, and would appreciate if he killed them when they are in the house. But usually he ends up throwing them at her and tells her it’s therapy to defeat her fears.

Who kills the spiders around the house? Neither, see above

Their favourite place? A small lake behind a mountain near his cabin.

Who pays the bills? The cult

Do they have any fears for their future? Yeah, they are very conflicted about it. Neither of them know where it all leads and their differences (esp the age one) is an issue at times.

Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner? They don’t really do that.

Who’s the tallest? He’s 6'1, she is 5'2. He constantly calls her ‘Shorty’, not in any endearing cute nickname way, but purely to mock her height.

Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other? Happens with both of them frequently. Tho Jacob is more prone to this because he showers less on his own. So when she’s in there he’s often like ‘might as well join’.

Who wanders around in their underwear? Rheese starts this trend which he really doesn’t complain about. She also argues that it makes sense because then there will be less laundry to take care of. Can’t really argue with that really.

Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio? She does, very very badly cause she can’t sing.

What do they tease each other about? Her short height and his age. Always.

Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times? Doesn’t really happen but he does judge her Power Rangers T-shirt she wears for sleeping.

Who crushed first? They both kinda did. They blamed it on physical attraction at first, which made Rheese mad because he wasn’t her type. It takes them a couple of months to actually admit they might eventually possibly perhaps maybe have feelings for one another :)

Any alcohol or substance related problems? Not really

Who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am? Rheese does once, and another time they do it together.

Who swears the most? Jacob, though she’s pretty good at it too.

Tagging @joeyhxdson @fadedjacket @shallow-gravy @chazz-anova @ja-crispea if you want to. Idk who did this by the time this gets posted.

#tag games #deputy rheese anne bennett #sched

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marshmallowgoop · 5 years

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Doing yearly writing reviews isn’t really a thing. But once you start doing ‘em, it doesn’t feel right to stop, you know?

Seeing progress in other arts is of course a lot easier than seeing progress in writing, but I think there is some forward movement for me, especially when I also consider my compilations from 2017 and 2018.

In regards to 2019, I’ve selected various kinds of writing for this post: analytical essays, opinion pieces, news articles, creative fiction, and maybe some works that can’t be categorized so easily, too. It was a very difficult year on many fronts; I dealt with job struggles, financial insecurity, destroyed relationships, medical hardships, seemingly endless cyberstalking and online harassment.

But there were good things, too. New friendships. New passions. New outlooks. I feel like I’ve learned and grown a lot more in these past couple of months than I have in a long, long time.

The end of 2019 is more than just the end of one year. It’s also the end of a decade. But I think the best advice I’ve received all decade comes from this year:

✄ Sometimes, you have to say yes to saying no.

✄ If you can’t do something well, do something poorly!

✄ The best option may be to simply not engage.

✄ You don’t have to apologize for disappointing others.

✄ Your worth isn’t measured by how much you “accomplish.”

✄ You have rights: the right to have your needs and wants respected, the right to make mistakes, the right to determine your own priorities, the right to not be responsible for the actions or problems of others, the right to express yourself, the right to be human. It’s not selfish or narcissistic to stand up for your rights.

And, since it is the end of the decade and all, here’s also a comparison between one nerdy fandom essay from August 2010 and another from August 2019:

2010 (with added spaces because yes, this really was just a huge block of text originally):

Also, in my own opinion, nobody really gave a damn for Xion all that much save for Roxas. I mean, yeah, Axel cared a little, but in the end, he got totally mad at her, got mad any time she was mentioned, got mad whenever Roxas worried about her, got mad when she showed up at the clock tower. She was his friend, yeah, and he didn’t want her to go, but in the end, he would have chosen Roxas above her anytime.

The other “mean villains” didn’t really care. Luxord didn’t care, Demyx didn’t care, Xaldin got exasperated once at her, but overall didn’t care, Xigbar didn’t care, Xemnas outright said he didn’t care, Saix was rather cruel to her, but really, in the end, he didn’t give a damn for her. The others weren’t around long enough to have an impression on her. I think even Riku didn’t really care all that much for her, in all honesty. He just wanted his best friend back.

Also, you have to keep in mind that we played the game through Roxas’ perspective, and it’s in my personal belief that he fell in love with Xion. And if you’re in love with someone, when she gets into a coma, or goes missing, or ignores you, you’re gonna be upset, and talk about it. So Roxas did.

But you know, he doesn’t actually do a lot of it until the end of the game. Before that, it’s all about the THREE of them. He loves his friends (even if he doesn’t know it), and he wants them to be together forever, but when Xion goes missing or whatnot and they can’t ALL have ice cream together, he gets upset.

2019:

I’ve written more on the subject here, but to keep it short, Ryuko only tries to take Nui’s life when she’s convinced herself that she’s a monster, and her development is less about her becoming less okay with killing people and more about how she won’t let her anger and rage control her. What makes Ryuko’s attitude so different in the end isn’t that she’s reconsidered her thoughts on murder but that she’s composed. Come episode 22, Ryuko ain’t saying that she’s gonna kill anyone to sound tough or to intimidate. She keeps her cool even against her worst enemies.

But that’s just what I think! Maybe I’ve interpreted the character all wrong. But Ryuko’s freak-out after she goes berserk and hurts others in episode 12, her devotion to defending even people she’s just met… I just struggle to see her as someone who’s actually a-okay with killing. The fact that Ryuko’s perfect fantasy in episode 20 depicts her as a sweet girl without any of the violent tendencies that she has in reality also points this way; not to mention, Ryuko outright admits that her picking fights and causing trouble are bad things when remarking on her childhood in episode 8.

And Ryuko? She doesn’t want to be bad. All the poor girl’s ever wanted is love, and I can’t imagine she’d ever think that getting angry and killing people would get her a lot of that.

Progress may be slow, but it does happen.

At least, I think so.

Image Texts

January 2019

And personally? I find that sweetness just absolutely, utterly charming. When I understood what the rap was trying to communicate, I couldn’t imagine listening to the song without it. Heck, even before I understood, I found the “without rap” edits empty and barren. No matter how “silly” the lyrics might come off, the unabashed cheese is fantastic. The rap section that I was once “meh” about legitimately became my favorite part of the song.

Plus, I really can’t stress enough how sad the song is when it’s purely Ryuko. The official [nZk] remix replaces Senketsu’s rap with a reprise of Ryuko’s first verse, which recounts how she and Senketsu met. And it’s tragic! She says, “But I’m all alone,” and she is. Senketsu isn’t singing with her, no matter her claim that she can hear his voice. Considering what happens to Senketsu in the end, his absence in the song hits even harder.

Full post: https://marshmallowgoop.tumblr.com/post/182361051017/oomoj-marshmallowgoop-the-rap-is-good

February 2019

The focus then shifts away from Ragyo, but Kill la Kill ain’t at all done with building the audience up yet. As the scene moves to the following day, viewers are met with quick, close-up shots of Uzu’s note to Ryuko, timed right to the beat of “Blumenkranz.” Uzu wants to duel, and we soon get to see his full request in an engaging low-angle shot where Ryuko looks up to this sign looming over her. The weight and gravity of the situation is effectively conveyed: the smooth transition from Ragyo to here, as well as the music and shot composition, let us know in no indirect terms that this fight isn’t something to be brushed off. Uzu’s duel is a big deal, and it’s very much connected to Ragyo’s expansive empire.

And the tension just keeps growing. Ryuko’s reaction to Uzu’s note is presented with a dramatic canted, high-angle shot. The camera—which is just slightly tilted—peers down at both Ryuko and the sign, communicating a sense of danger and unease. Viewers already know that the upcoming battle is important, but here, we also understand that it’s not going to be easy.

Full post: https://marshmallowgoop.tumblr.com/post/182841724817/all-the-discussion-around-episode-6-of-kill-la

March 2019

Kill la Kill the Game: IF is currently being featured at the 2019 Game Developers Conference that runs until March 22nd in San Francisco, and a flurry of new gameplay videos are now available for viewing. Notably, these videos feature full English subtitles for the character dialogue for the first time since EVO 2018 last year and never-before-seen stages, such as what seems to be the Fiber Castle in the Kiryuin Manor.

Full post: https://marshmallowgoop.tumblr.com/post/183766224117/kill-la-kill-the-game-if-gameplay-footage-from

April 2019

I mean, Kill la Kill ended over five years ago now. There’s been fairly minimal new content ever since—an OVA in September of 2014, a few pieces of merchandise here and there, a small crossover with Grand Summoners last year. And then, not even 11 months ago, out of seemingly nowhere, there was confirmation for a full-blown Kill la Kill video game. That we now know will be released in just 14 weeks!

Lots of jokes were made about the announcement for a game so many years after the series finale, but, like, seriously, as a longtime Kill la Kill fan, it’s hard to wrap my head around. Ever since the show ended, I’ve dedicated over half a million words to writing about it, spent tens of thousands of yen on books and Blu-rays and CDs, devoted nearly 60 GB to my own GIFs and edits. I’ve loved this thing to death. I’ve always found more and more that I want to write and create from this series, but I never really imagined nor expected that we’d ever get much more official content from the original creators themselves. And now we are getting so much more, and???

Full post: https://marshmallowgoop.tumblr.com/post/184228103137/kill-la-kill-the-game-if-releases-on-july-25th-in

May 2019

Kiznaiver: Oh, I was so excited to love this show! I was lucky enough to see an advanced screening of the first two episodes, and I was totally hooked. It was drop-dead gorgeous—and probably the prettiest series Trigger has ever put out—and I was very intrigued by the plot and characters. I remember just coming back to my hotel room at like 3:00 am after the premiere, utterly filled with excitement. I mean, Kiznaiver was directed by Hiroshi Kobayashi, the episode director behind the two episodes that got me hooked on Kill la Kill (episodes 5 and 18)!

But… my excitement quickly died. The story tried to develop way too many characters in way too little time, and I never enjoyed the romantic pairing of Katsuhira and Noriko, finding it shallow, undeveloped, and nonsensical (in a bad way), which… kind of ruins a lot of the series when that’s arguably the heart of the whole thing.

Kiznaiver is still super, super pretty, though. That last episode’s animation got me shook.

Full post: https://marshmallowgoop.tumblr.com/post/184700944732/so-have-you-watched-the-other-stuff-studio-trigger

June 2019

I do recognize that many, many matters do not warrant conversation. I do recognize that the phrase “I’m just trying to have a conversation” can be—and has been—utilized as a means of directing criticism away from inflammatory, unacceptable, inhumane remarks. I in no way feel that hateful, discriminatory comments should be promoted.

Simultaneously, however, “conversation” should not automatically be a dirty word in the field of analyzing and seriously engaging with fiction, and thoughtful reactions should be supported and striven for. Nothing in fiction is ever black and white. There are so many nuances and complexities to the storybook realities of our media. I want commentators and critics of fiction to be passionate about listening, considering, and rethinking those nuances and complexities. Isn’t that why we do this work at all? To share our own point of view and open ourselves up to others?

Full post: https://marshmallowgoop.tumblr.com/post/185289615202/we-need-to-change-the-way-we-seriously-discuss

July 2019

Initially, I was really bummed by this lack of development. But as I thought about things more, I… didn’t mind so much. If this dream or universe or whatever is something that Satsuki “experiences” before the events of the anime, of course she won’t grow as a character here. Maybe this game is kind of the Kill la Kill prequel I’ve been begging for for over half a decade.

And as much as I didn’t get anything, I thought the ending bits between Ryuko and Satsuki were so good.

Like, I suppose Ryuko’s absorbing the Life Fibers or something?? But wow, pretty.

And the part where they talk before Satsuki disappears? That’s my kinda anime bullshit. It’s the kinda anime bullshit I wanted from the OVA between Ryuko and Senketsu.

Full post: https://marshmallowgoop.tumblr.com/post/186648065467/goop-plays-kill-la-kill-the-game-if-satsuki

August 2019

That book, Log. 2, is a fan doujin from Kotaro Nakamori, who worked as an animator and animation director in Kill la Kill. There’s a bunch of assorted fanart in there, and I wouldn’t be at all surprised if Nakamori is a fan of Urusei Yatsura and wanted to make a little crossover between that series and Kill la Kill.

Personally, though, as someone not too familiar with Urusei Yatsura, I kinda just saw the image as oni-Satsuki (with oni being demon/ogre-like creatures in Japanese folklore). Oni are traditionally depicted wearing tiger skin loincloths, and Lum herself is definitely basically a space oni. So, I saw the cover and got super excited about oni-Satsuki because I love oni a lot, haha.

Fun fact: character designer Sushio has also drawn Kill la Kill characters as oni for setsubun, a celebration that’s held on the last day of winter (February 3rd). During setsubun, you might see folks dressed up like oni—who get beans thrown at them in an effort to bring in good luck and chase naughty demons away.

Full post: https://marshmallowgoop.tumblr.com/post/187228888187/do-i-see-satsuki-wearing-lums-outfit-in-your-last

September 2019

Though I don’t see it much anymore, I remember lots of comparisons between Ragyo and the villains of Saturday morning cartoons back in the day. She was described as a generic, two-dimensional “evilz for the sake of evilz” baddie and criticized for her simplicity.

And though I did admittedly agree to an extent—I craved a lot more depth and insight, particularly in regards to her haunting line about “still having something of a human heart” whilst brutally attacking her own daughter in the final episode—I also found Ragyo to be a remarkably compelling, powerful, and horrifying villain even without tons of backstory and explanation. Perhaps my write-up on her first scene in episode 6 best details why; this woman has such a presence, and the visual language of the series amplifies that presence spectacularly. Ragyo’s intimidating and scary without the audience even needing to know anything about her.

And… I’d say that’s a good villain. That’s exactly what a villain should do.

Full post: https://marshmallowgoop.tumblr.com/post/187987858537/on-ragyo-kiryuin

October 2019

And, though there are no visuals, so I can’t be sure if it’s an “Ocean of Light” or not, the fourth Drama CD also has the same kinda deal happening. In the CD—which takes place immediately after Ryuko learns the truth of her origins—Ryuko’s pain manifests as an explosion of light that knocks both her and Senketsu unconscious and pushes Senketsu away from her. The sound effect here is familiar, and I’m personally convinced that this is another “Ocean of Light” moment.

Which brings me to the “light” part of the terminology. Light is often associated with good, yes, but light is also associated with heat, and heat is associated with pain. In the Drama CD, Ryuko’s light is so hot that Nui even remarks that Senketsu “almost burned” from it, and when Mako embraces Ryuko after swimming through her “Ocean of Light” in episode 12, Ryuko’s touch scorches Mako’s skin.

I’ve already written an essay on the symbolic and narrative use of fire, warmth, and heat in Kill la Kill (that you should totally read because it’s actually maybe Kinda Good, Maybe), and relating to that, I see the “Ocean of Light” as a physical representation of Ryuko’s fiery spirit. That fire can be used for good, and that fire can also be painful, but no matter what, that fire is a part of Ryuko.

Full post: https://marshmallowgoop.tumblr.com/post/188247077227/i-always-wanted-some-explanation-you-are-smart

November 2019

She looks around her cottage. Her eyes find the walls and the furnishings. Her eyes find the scratched floors and stained wood. She does not voice it to the once-emperor, but she had never been able to remove the stains from the attack. Her son's blood has painted the brown wood red. It is a reminder of what she cannot remember. It is a reminder of the past she has forgotten.

“This home feels so desperately lonely,” she admits. “I do not know who is missing. But it is not complete.”

The man is quiet. He did not expect to find himself feeling sympathy for the woman's plight. Perhaps she is a fool, to have given her heart to a demon. But kindness ought not be punished, he thinks. Or has he grown so cold that he believes it should be?

December 2019

🏀 Michiru and Shirou’s relationship may be the focus, but Nakashima emphasizes that Michiru’s relationship with Nazuna is also involved in the story in a big way.

🏀 Nakashima stresses the importance of depicting teen girls realistically. Two women screenwriters are on board: Kimiko Ueno and Nanami Higuchi. Both wrote for Little Witch Academia. Ueno also wrote for Space Patrol Luluco, and Higuchi was behind the production reports in Trigger Magazine (and, interestingly, wrote the script for the anime adaptation of BEASTARS).

🏀In regards to Michiru and Nazuna’s relationship, producer Naoko Tsutsumi (also an animation producer for Kiznaiver and Little Witch Academia) provides input as well. Nakashima says that they greatly value and take to heart the opinions of the women creators.

Full post: https://marshmallowgoop.tumblr.com/post/189928986922/otomedia-winter-2020-bna-brand-new-animal

#shut up goop #goop makes a (kinda) personal post #ramblings #writing #on to 2020!#right before the new year in my time zone as per usual lol #image texts under the cut #kill la kill #kingdom hearts #brand new animal #kiznaiver

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bonesgadh · 5 years

Text

My take on Arya Stark’s ending in Game of Thrones (a.k.a why I firmly believe she is going to return to Westeros eventually)

Disclaimer: I still don’t agree with the way D&D chose to end Arya’s arc—and probably I never will. However, I wrote this very long-ass meta because I’ve been trying to find a meaning behind her ending, and in case you are still in denial as I am I hope this helps you get some closure.

Let’s begin (as I just said a very long-ass meta coming right up, I promise it’s the last one):

The last two weeks have been rough. Now that my mom™ has given up on GOT I’ve been forced to keep my theories and headcanons to myself (although I’ve shared my rants with you it’s not the same because it’s not a proper conversation with actual feedback). I’ve spent a good portion of my days thinking about how shitty the GOT finale was and how stupid it was for Arya to leave her family and her home behind just to sail into the unknown. I know there’s people out there who are pleased with her decision, saying that Arya was always a free spirit and is not meant to be bound to one place for long, and that she is destined for greatness and a life of adventures. There’re also others out there (like me) who are not happy at all because even though Arya is a free spirit, she is not a lonely wolf. She is fierce and independent but she also has strong bonds with her family and her home and there’s no way she would give that up to follow a life of uncertainty away from those she loves. Anyway, everyone is entitled to their own opinions.

That said and in case you haven’t noticed, I’ll proceed to make the following statement: I’m a complete Arya Stark stan. Arya is one of my three favorite fictional characters ever and I have loved her ever since I first saw her on screen ruining her embroidery. I love how she talks, the things she says, how she thinks, how she loves and feels. I love the way Maisie Williams portrays her and speaks on her behalf in interviews and bts videos; she gets Arya in a way no one does and that’s what a good actor is supposed to do, to become its character’s custodian (like Carrie Fisher was Princess Leia’s).

I have spent years studying Arya. Profiling her, analyzing her, trying to get inside her head to understand her motivations. “What is Arya thinking in that scene? What motivates her to do what she is doing? What are the real reasons behind her actions?” I’ve used all my training as a psychologist to get to know her better, to love her more. When I study a character I like to pretend we are in therapy; I’m their therapist and they are my patients.

Now, why didn’t I support Arya’s decision to go find out what’s west of Westeros? Because for the first time since I started watching GOT I couldn’t understand why she wanted to do it. I couldn’t. Obviously because her leaving brings a sad end to the Stark rhetoric of “the lone wolf dies but the pack survives”, but also because I just didn’t get why someone who had finally embraced life would embark in such a suicide mission. I was left speechless (and yeah I know she mentioned wanting to make that trip before but she did it once and at a time of her life when she thought she was alone in the world).

As a Gendrya shipper I didn’t like her rejecting Gendry’s proposal but I understood her reasons. I knew she had something else to do, besides she had never been drawn to the life of a lady because that’s not her (even though I strongly believe changing your mind about something you said when you were a child is completely valid and it doesn’t mean you’ll become a different person but whatever). Besides it made sense after what Maisie said about Arya being torn between life and death. It hurt but I knew why she did it. That didn’t happen to me during the last episode.

Arya leaving to see what’s west of Westeros didn’t make sense to me because it seemed as if she was embracing her “no one” persona again. What makes you ‘”someone”? Your home, your family, your friends. What makes Arya Arya? Winterfell, her siblings and those she holds dear (besides her family, Gendry is the only meaningful relationship she has now that the Hound is dead). Arya choosing the life of a reckless adventurer meant giving up her home, her family and her friends. I couldn’t stop scratching my head at the thought of Arya going back to being no one because it pretty much destroyed her entire arc from at least seasons 6, 7 and 8 (her returning home after years away, reuniting with her loved ones, finally embracing life and recovering her humanity).

Arya’s decision has haunted me for two entire weeks. I couldn’t stop asking myself: “Why?” Well, after sleeping for approximately 70 hours over the last fourteen nights I think I finally have the answer:

Her choice goes beyond wanting to see what’s west of Westeros, beyond a longing for an adventure that she gets to choose for once, beyond living wild and free.

Arya is looking for the meaning of her life.

For years, Arya‘s list worked as a lifesaver. She held on to it as tightly as she could and it’s what helped her survive all the shit she went through. In “Man’s Search for Meaning” Viktor Frankl says:

Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any 'how’.

When you lose whatever gives meaning to your life (your partner, your children, your parents, your job) you suffer the most serious existential crisis of them all.

Arya’s entire existence revolved around getting revenge, about avenging her family and making those who had hurt them pay. However, with her list gone, Arya has now lost the “why” Frankl talks about. Chances are she can’t stop asking herself what happens next, followed closely by:

”Who am I without my list, a list that gave meaning to my life?”

For those at Winterfell she is a hero, the slayer of the Night King, the savior of the world. For Gendry she is the woman he loves, the one he wants to marry. For Jaqen and the Faceless Men she is a girl, a girl that is no one. For those who have known her for most of her life she is a lady.

But Arya rejects all of the above. She said it herself to the Hound: she doesn’t like heroes. She doesn’t see herself as one even though she is. She rejects Gendry’s proposal because she is not interested in being a Lord’s wife (although she has feelings for him she doesn’t want to live in a man’s shadow). She rejects the identity set on her by Jaqen because she knows she’ll never be able to let go off her thirst for vengeance. She rejects being a lady because that’s not her.

It seems to me Arya is very aware of the things she is not, but she doesn’t know what she is.

In that case, who is Arya Stark? What is her?

“Who are you?” is probably the hardest question you can ask a person to answer. My guess is Arya doesn’t even know it herself. That’s why her whole plot with the Faceless Men makes sense and it’s not really about her learning cool skills, it’s more about her trying to learn who she is. Even though she knew she was Arya Stark of Winterfell what does that even mean? Strictly speaking it’s nothing else besides her name and the place where she was born. However, things with the Faceless Men would never work because if there’s one thing Arya knows is that she is not no one. She defended her right to her identity until her last day in Braavos.

I mentioned earlier three of the things that make you you are your home, your family and your friends. Let’s break them down:

Home

A crucial part of Arya’s overall arc was her constantly trying to return to Winterfell, her very long road back home. However she abandoned her quest and went to Braavos instead, and for a while she seemed to have forgotten her earlier wish. A year and a half later she told Jaqen she was going home after she decided to leave the Faceless Men, but she wasn’t planning on going back North. She only decided to head there after she heard her family had recovered Winterfell. She told Nymeria she was going home because at that moment she thought the North was her home.

But then why did she leave without saying goodbye after the Great War? Perhaps she didn’t want to worry her family by telling them what she planned to do, or maybe (and for the record I don’t agree with what I’m about to say) the months she spent there made her realize Winterfell was not her home anymore—or it didn’t quite feel like home yet—. When she and the Hound were inside the Red Keep and he told her to go home, my guess is Arya had no idea where to go. The place she believed to be home was not anymore, so where was she supposed to go? That’s why she didn’t really abandon King’s Landing after she rode away on the white horse—she only used it to leave the immediate destruction but chose to return to check on Jon, because she had nowhere else to go.

Family

Now, let’s compare Arya’s position in the finale with that of her siblings:

Jon left to live with the wildings, the people he loves and who love him in return. He is meant to be with them and maybe even lead them, Bran kind of hinted at this during their goodbye after Jon apologized for not being there for him when he needed him. I don’t remember the exact quote but if my memory doesn’t fail me he said something like “You were exactly where you were supposed to be”, and that’s what gave Jon the idea of permanently leaving with the wildings.

Sansa was crowned Queen in the North. She is officially the leader of the pack and the alfa, and her new mission is to protect and guide her people. Thanks to her the Starks recovered Winterfell, she fought for independence and the northerners love her.

Bran was elected King of the Six Kingdoms and he will help rebuilt the realm after the war’s atrocities and prevent everyone from reprising their mistakes.

Strictly speaking her siblings don’t need her right now, the three of them are relatively safe and they have all found the meaning of their lives and their place in the world. Arya, on the other hand, hasn’t. Her list gave her a meaning for years, but now that it’s gone for good she is trying to find a new one. You would think killing the Night King would give her some sense of purpose, but I honestly believe finding out you were born to save humanity would give you an even bigger existential crisis than anything else.

”Hey, but didn’t the ending already establish finding out what’s west of Westeros is the new meaning of her life?” You might ask.

The answer is no, it didn’t. The way I see it, Arya wanting to know what’s west of Westeros is like an item from her bucket list. A few weeks ago I found a very good post that said it would be great if Arya replaced her killing list with a “living” list full of things she wants to do. “Seeing what’s west of Westeros” definitely sounds like a bucket list item to me.

Also just take a look at each of the Stark’s endings by the time the credits roll:

Jon, Sansa and Bran’s endings are very “final”, sort to speak, while Arya’s was the most ambiguous of them all. When you get exiled you get exiled for life; if you are King or Queen you are until you die. However, a journey is, by definition, a temporary thing. Arya can’t—and won’t— spend the rest of her life travelling to nowhere. A person that has been as hurt as Arya has needs stability, something safe to hold on to, and living an errant life is the exact opposite of this.

Besides she is Sansa’s heir. Even if Sansa is young too we can’t know for sure if she’ll ever get married and have kids and therefore it’s way too risky to make their entire lineage depend on her. That’s why a King or Queen’s siblings try to have two-three children themselves, just in case they come in hand.

Goodbyes

GOT is a show that puts a lot of emphasis in goodbyes. When they wanted to close a storyline, most of the times they gave those involved a closure scene (this doesn’t include Gendrya because their final scene didn’t give them closure at all, but that’s another story). The ones I can remember now:

Daenerys never got to meet Rhaego and still she was able to say goodbye to him and Drogo during her vision.

Davos giving the wooden stag to Shireen.

Sansa telling Ramsay to his face how much she hated him and how his house would go extinct after his death right before giving him to his own dogs to eat.

I would dare to say the scene where Talisa and Robb talk about their baby right before they are murdered during the Red Wedding serves as a goodbye between them.

Theon and Yara’s final scene from 8x01.

Jaime and Brienne’s conversation before he left for King’s Landing.

Obviously the Hound and Arya’s moment at the Red Keep when he encourages her to save herself.

Tyrion thanking Jaime for being kind to him before helping him escape

I was pissed we didn’t see Arya saying goodbye to Sansa. They wasted a good two minutes on Tyrion rearranging furniture but they didn’t give us the Stark sisters wishing each other good fortune? I call bullshit. Nevertheless I now believe it was probably a good thing we didn’t (if you are a Gendrya shipper this applies to them as well).

The reason why we saw Sansa, Arya and Bran saying goodbye to Jon was because it was meant to be the last time the three Starks would see their half brother/cousin. However we didn’t see Sansa, Arya and Bran saying goodbye to each other because they will definitely reunite in the future. Theirs is not a permanent goodbye while the one with Jon was, and that’s why they showed it during the episode (besides Arya’s exact words were: “I’m not going back North” but she didn’t say she would never return. The way I see it she meant: “At this moment I don’t intend to go North.”)

Some parting thoughts

I don’t know if what I wrote makes any sense and no matter how much I try to understand it, I’ll never agree with D&D’s decision of sending Arya away and giving her that ending. However, because I think I know her I want to believe she chose to embark on her little suicide mission because she needs to clear her mind and gain some perspective about what she wants to do with her life. I’ve seen some people refer to it as her taking a gap year before college, others say she just went on sabbatical, I personally like to call it a Rumspringa-like trip around the world.

As I mentioned in a previous meta, sometimes we forget Arya is still a very young woman because she is such a badass. She is only 18 years old and she has her whole life ahead of her. She will use her journey to see what’s west of Westeros—which apparently is Asshai in the books’ canon—to discover who she is, instead of what she is not. A recurring theme in Arya’s arc has been her being forced to repress her own identity (pretending to be Arry instead of Arya; pretending to be a boy instead of a girl; pretending to be a mason’s daughter instead of a Lord’s; pretending to be no one just to be accepted into the House of Black and White; pretending to not being scared about potentially dying). But now, she’ll get to construct her identity at her own pace, without being constantly afraid of everything being taken away from her.

She will arrive at Asshai and discover the known world is round, but she’ll decide to travel across Essos instead of simply turning back. She’ll visit Qarth, catch a glimpse of the Red Waste, go to Dragon’s Bay and stay at the cities Dany was in. She’ll sneak a peak of the Dothraki Sea and Vaes Dothrak, and then she’ll sail for the Valyrian Peninsula. She’ll go to the Red Temple of Volantis and the red priests and priestesses are going to be delighted to meet the person who ended the Long Night. She’ll travel north to Myr, Pentos and Braavos and finally, after a year or two of backpacking through Essos she’ll reaffirm Winterfell/Westeros is her home, and she’ll be ready to return to her family and loved ones as a healed new woman *If you are not a Gendrya shipper you can stop reading right now* First she’ll go to Winterfell to catch up with Sansa, then she’ll go to King’s Landing to say hi to Bran and finally she’ll make her way to Storm’s End.

And Gendrya will get the soft epilogue they were denied in the final episode.

#meta #Arya Stark #game of thrones #gendrya #gendrya positivity

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jgroffdaily · 5 years

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Jonathan Groff is not, he says, “a serial killer sort of person”, which will probably come as a relief to the millions of adoring families who know him best in wholesome animated form, as the voice of mountain-dwelling ice harvester Kristoff in Disney’s Frozen.

What drew the 34-year-old actor – nominated for a Tony for his Broadway performance as Melchior Gabor in Spring Awakening and his scene-stealing turn as King George III in Hamilton – to the dark, murder-heavy Netflix drama Mindhunter was, he says, precisely what a radical departure it was from his previous roles.

His FBI profiler Holden Ford is, as he puts it: “This corn-fed, all-American, earnest Midwestern guy, having an existential crisis, finding meaning and purpose while talking to incarcerated sociopathic murderers.” Groff tells me all this, it should be noted, with an enormous grin. Apparently, the only major note that David Fincher, Mindhunter’s director, ever has for his leading man is to stop smiling so much. “[Fincher] would be like, ‘We’re rolling, and, Jonathan, stop smiling. And you’re still smiling, you’re still smiling, and… action.’”

Television, of course, hardly needs another FBI drama, but what elevates Mindhunter above the procedural is not only Fincher’s precision direction, but also the tension inherent in Ford’s mission. Set in the late Seventies and based on the career of real-life FBI profiler and “serial killer whisperer” John Douglas, “Holden is pushing for understanding and curiosity, rather than simply dismissing these killers as crazy,” says Groff. Using the emerging social sciences of criminology and psychology, he hopes to gain some understanding of what motivates these apparent monsters.

The first series saw Ford interviewing notorious murderers Richard Speck, Ed Kemper and Jerry Brudos; season two, which begins this week, will delve into the Atlanta Child Murders (in which an estimated 28 children were killed between 1979 and 1981), and see the protagonist land an interview with “the rock star of the serial killer world”, Charles Manson.

There is also the added layer of Ford’s personal development; over the first season, he grew from a buttoned-up boy scout (literally drinking milk from the bottle in an early episode) into a skilful manipulator of his subjects; some critics have gone further and accused him of sociopathy.

“I never saw Holden as a sociopathic character, but he definitely wants to win,” says Groff. I agree about the sociopathy but, I suggest, Holden is perhaps guilty of wielding empathy as a weapon. “Yeah, I love that – weaponising empathy!” Groff cries, excitedly. “That might be the title of my autobiography.”

It’s early on a Friday morning in Los Angeles and, in spite of the unusually anti-social call time, Groff, boyishly handsome and sipping on a Diet Coke, is infectiously bouncy and Tiggerish. During the filming of Mindhunter, he has, he tells me, been listening to the audiobook of Fosse, Sam Wasson’s bestselling biography of the legendary Broadway choreographer and film director, on which the current show Fosse/Verdon was initially based. After finishing the book, he went back and watched all of Fosse’s films.

“He does such a good job of capturing that drug of being on stage, and the sadness that you get when you come off stage,” he says. “The huge rush of performing and the let-down afterwards. I get both happy and depressed about it. I don’t want to love it this much, but then I do, but I want also to have perspective.” He waves his hands in the air as if to bat away his only apparent torture: loving this job, which he is incredibly good at, a little too much.

Groff grew up in Pennsylvania, in a conservative, Methodist family, but his parents encouraged his theatrical ambitions, driving him several hours each way to audition for musicals in New York City. He won a place in a touring performance of The Sound of Music and deferred his spot at Carnegie Mellon University. At 20, he was cast in Spring Awakening, earning his first Tony nomination at 21, in 2007.

Television roles followed in Glee, The Normal Heart and Looking, the critically acclaimed but short-lived HBO drama about the lives of gay men in San Francisco. His parents, he tells me, “didn’t watch that one”.

Openly gay himself, in Mindhunter Groff is playing straight, in a role that features a solid amount of sex scenes as well as psychosexual content. Ryan Murphy, his former showrunner at Glee, and the creator of Pose and The People vs OJ Simpson, was so moved to see this, Groff tells me, that he rang to congratulate him.

“He got really emotional about it, partly, I think, because when he first met me [Groff made a pilot with him during Spring Awakening, which was never picked up] I was still in the closet. Then I came out, owned my identity and, thankfully, still get to play all different kinds of parts. Ryan said: ‘I know that it was something you were scared about, but you worked through your fear, and now here you are, getting to do this amazing show, and not being defined by your sexual orientation.’”

Did he really worry that if he came out he’d never be given a “straight” role again? “Totally,” Groff cries, slapping his thighs. “No agents or producers had ever said: ‘Don’t come out of the closet, it will ruin your career,’ but it was an unspoken thing. And there were no out gay movie stars as examples. But then I fell in love, at 23. And I thought, ‘OK, if I come out, and I only do off-Broadway plays for the rest of my life, I am totally happy with that – that’s what I moved to New York for. So maybe I won’t be a romantic lead in a movie – who cares? I would rather be doing cool stuff with people who don’t give a f--- than pretend to be someone I am not.’”

Happily, that couldn’t be further from the case. While filming the second season of Mindhunter in Pittsburgh, he’s been simultaneously reprising his role as Kristoff for Frozen 2, due out in November. “It was the dream,” he beams. “To be able to sit with Charles Manson, and then drive to New York to pretend to be in a blizzard, singing a Disney song.”

But, in truth, he’s never really stopped being Kristoff. “I make Voice Memos for kids,” he reveals. “I sing for them and do the reindeer voice, which they get really excited about. I do a lot of King George Voice Memos too, actually.”

He was in Hamilton for only two months, in the spring of 2015, but made enough of an impact with his campy, knowing performance, to earn another Tony nomination.

“It was like being in the eye of the storm,” he says of his spell in the Broadway phenomenon. “I listened to the Bill Gates Desert Island Discs the other day; he has My Shot from Hamilton as his final song. And I thought, ‘Oh my god, that’s right, I met Bill Gates – he came to the show.’ You really can’t take it in, in the moment, but looking back, I’m like, ‘Wow, I really met Beyoncé?’”

Given his experience in voicing Frozen, one might assume Groff would be a dab hand at recording audiobooks. Not so, he says. When he was asked to record the audio for John Douglas’s latest non-fiction book (his 13th), The Killer Across the Table, “it was SO hard,” he says. “So much harder than I thought it was going to be. I never made it through one page without f------ up.” It did mean, however, that he finally got to meet the legendary FBI agent in person. “We’d emailed before, but getting to meet him was a great moment. He loves the show, and even talks about it in the book that I recorded.”

This second series is launching at a moment of renewed obsession with Manson, thanks to the 50th anniversary of the murder of Sharon Tate, and the release of Quentin Tarantino’s Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. I wonder out loud whether the period that Mindhunter explores, when serial killers began to be studied seriously, was also the moment that they also began to be glamorised in popular culture.

“Yes, David and the writers try to address that question. You have Holden, who is a sycophant and obsessed with Manson, and you have the Bill Tench character [Ford’s FBI colleague, played by Holt McCallany], who is like: ‘Dude, these people are disgusting and deplorable.’

“David is uninterested in creating conversation in which any one person is right and any one person is wrong,” says Groff. “He likes to hold a bunch of different perspectives at the same time. That’s what makes it worth working on, that’s what makes it worth watching.”

Mindhunter, series one  and two, are available  on Netflix

#jonathan groff #interview #press #!

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lady-of-lyon · 5 years

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Why I Love Steven Universe the Movie - There Are Spoilers

I saw the Steven Universe movie the day after it came out, on the Cartoon Network app. Immediately after watching it, the first thought I had was, “well, that happened.” It seemed a bit bizarre and empty to me at the time, but after a few weeks of ruminating, it slowly began to connect with me more and more.

I get why people don’t like this movie. There are a lot of things I don’t like about it too. The whole journey with the main characters rediscovering what they had already learned in the show was to me uninteresting and unfulfilling. Amnesia is a tricky plot device because it’s an easy cop out, and it’s often used as nothing other than that especially in this movie, where the characters don’t grow or learn, they just fall back to square one and regrow, which creates an illusion of character development that doesn’t really develop anything. The best this movie does with this concept is with Pearl, by clarifying that it wasn’t Rose who gave her her independence but independence itself, but amnesia wasn’t really necessary to make this statement, and other than that what’s learned leaves no impact. Even Steven’s journey is a retread, and he doesn’t have an excuse, because he doesn’t have amnesia. Cool things can be done with amnesia, the movie Memento for one is a prime example, and I also like to direct you to the Criminal Minds season 3 episode Tabula Rasa, but Steven Universe does not do such things.

A lot of the songs in the movie were also sub-par. Let Us Adore You (especially the reprise), Other Friends and Drift Away stick with you, and system/BOOT. PearlFinal (3).Info is cute, but other than that the songs do what their more memorable colleague mentions - they drift away. Yes, burn me at the stake, I did not care for True Kinda Love. To start with it’s not really my kind of music, and it especially rubbed me the wrong way when its chill elevator jams were chosen to accompany the most desperate and dramatic scene in the movie. The pacing is also messed up; little time is spent showing what Steven’s happily ever after actually looks like, so it feels rushed and low-stakes when Spinel comes in to destroy it. I was also personally a bit miffed when Spinel was briefly reverted to being evil just over a bad word choice on Steven’s part, even after the beautiful garden scene.

And of course, the elephant in the room, the treatment of Pink Diamond, with her splitting the fanbase on whether she’s irredeemable or whether the movie unfairly makes her seem so without playing devil’s advocate and acknowledging the abuse that we learned from the series she was taking and how that effected her actions. I won’t dip my toes too deep in that, but I agree with the fanbase that it could’ve been dealt with better.

Wow, it sounds like I really don’t like this movie, huh? And to be honest, I probably wouldn’t have, if it weren’t for Spinel.

From parent’s day out on to today, I’ve always gone to small schools. My graduating highschool class had nine people in it, who were all very different in terms of personality and personal goals, and the same can be said of all my other classes. Small schools love to talk about how great small schools are, and how it builds such a strong community, and how the students become family, but it isn’t true. Instead the result was a group of people who were friendly with one another not because they were actually friends, but because they had no other choice, because these were the only people that were around them. You weren’t ever able to find someone who you can really connect with, and even when you kinda did, despite how much you hugged and hung out and ate lunch together, there was always this sense that it was out of necessity, that you were only friends because no one else had even the slightest hint of being compatible. That’s the reason I love shows and movies so much about strangers being forced together to save the day and become friends in the process, because I know from personal experience that something like that is so impossible that the mere thought of it working out is a world of escapism.

And that was the headspace I was in most of my life - escapism, denial. I really did believe the small schools were right, that me and my classmates were close, that we were family. I went on thinking that they liked me, that I was the class clown, the entertainment, their friend. But I found out, that could not be further from the truth.

I switched schools partway through my sixth grade year, mostly because of this teacher I had. She was disorganized and mean and had a personal vendetta against me, so my parents pulled me out. As I was leaving, though, she told me what I hadn’t seen - my classmates hated me. They thought I was weird, and annoying, and childish, and wanted nothing to do with me. She was right, as was confirmed to me last summer by one of the two classmates who were nice to me from that school that I reconnected with, but her saying that really messed me up. I was eleven, why wouldn’t it?

Moving into my new school I was paranoid. It didn’t help that the students here much more openly showed their disdain for things, so they didn’t talk about me behind my back - I mean, I’m sure they did, but more importantly they talked about me to my face. There was a lot of bullying in that middleschool, so I did what I thought was the only choice I had. I distanced myself from them, isolated myself, and further did everything I could to get back. I was a tattle tale. I threw tantrums, and then ran away. I played into my own negative image, because I knew I wasn’t one of them, they had made that very clear, so surely that meant I was against them, right?

But then highschool rolled around. Things were different. The students in my class were largely different from the ones in middleschool, either because they matured or just came in from another school, replacing many who had left. At the start of my freshman year there was still some of that antagonism left in me, but it slowly faded out because I realized I was really, really lonely. I fell back on my attempts to be a class clown, to be entertainment, not because it was who I was and I was in denial by believing they liked me that way, but as a desperate ploy to get friends back. It was the only thing I knew how to do when it came to connecting with others, and of course I fell on my face. Many times. Sometimes literally. The more I tried and failed, the more sad I became, because this time my conclusion wasn’t that they didn’t like me because they were shallow bullies, my conclusion was that they didn’t like me because I was unlikeable.

I was excited going into college for the chance to start fresh, but that mindset still lingered in the back of my head. It kept me from making a lot of friends, because I wouldn’t try, because the fear of being hated outweighed the hope of being happy.

I was pretty lonely my first two years.

You can probably see a few parallels between me and Spinel, and if you can’t I’ll make it clearer. Obviously our life story isn’t the same, but so much of it is alike. Like Spinel I believed that someone who didn’t love me loved me. It wasn’t my fault, or their’s. It was because we were forced together by an institution that could not allow either of us to be happy, only I was in denial about it, and the other people were just grated by my childish optimism. If course I could never make them happy, we weren’t in the right places. But when I found out I wasn’t wanted, from the teacher telling me I wasn’t, to my school’s girl scout troop quietly ceasing to invite me to campouts, despite assuring me that changing schools wasn’t going to keep me from being a part of the troop, to each of my classmates from there following me when I joined social media just to unfollow me a few weeks later, it was a system shock, and I was devastated. I felt like a fool for ever even giving them the time of day, and so I lashed out. The people who got my wrath didn’t deserve it. The middleschoolers were bullies, yes, but they were going through their own insecurities and were just facing the world in a different way. Neither of us were in the right. And when it finally dawned on me that my treatment of them was unloving, it wasn’t because I came to that conclusion, but because I thought I wasn’t able to be loved - I used to be not good enough for them, and now I wasn’t good at all.

Spinel’s phase of self-hatred after her phase of aggression is brief, but it still speaks to me. She doesn’t want to be seen, and while she wants to make friends again, she’s convinced that she’s already ruined things for the people around her. She needs a fresh start.

And that’s where the happy ending comes. I am now happily in a wonderful group of friends. We all eat dinner together not because we have to, but because we want to. It took me a while to connect with them because I was still learning about myself, but after about a year of therapy and heart-to-hearts, I am happy. They are to me what the diamonds will be to Spinel. It shows that it is possible to be loved, to have friends, even when it seems like you’ve ruined everything for yourself.

And that’s why I love Steven Universe the Movie, because it isn’t Steven’s movie, it’s Spinel’s, and in some ways it’s my own. There’s probably not too many people who connected with Spinel’s story like I did, but it was just so powerful to me. She tries to make friends in a group she’s just not compatible with, and when things obviously don’t work out, she lashes out, assuming first that friends aren’t possible, that they’re just going to use you and talk behind your back and leave you behind, and then assuming that she just isn’t lovable. But she learns that there’s hope. She learns that she’s wrong, and it doesn’t seem to be Steven who teaches her this. Her breakdown of “what am I doing? Why do I want to hurt you so bad” comes when she looks at herself and what she’s become. Steven makes her want to try, to try to be better, but ultimately he’s not the one who can save her. It’s clear throughout the movie that he actually doesn’t want to be Spinel’s friend, so it makes sense that he won’t be, that they’re not compatible - I was wrong for antagonizing my middleschool classmates, but I don’t think we could’ve been friends, same with my highschool classmates - the diamonds, however, who, for all you want to say about them, have a lot of personal growth to do on their own, actually do want her. They latch on to her personality, she genuinely gives them joy where other’s couldn’t, and where she couldn’t to others. So they fly off - and Steven’s right, it’s not quite a happily ever after, because there’s still going to be a lot of work to do, but to me, it is a happy ending.

Because someday, somewhere, somehow, you’ll love again.

You just need to find someone.

#steven universe #su #steven universe the movie #su movie #spinel

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twentyghosts · 6 years

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Earlier @fourteenacross wrote this post about our experience of getting to see the dress rehearsal for Rent Live (which I guess turns out to mostly mean that we saw the actual performance of Rent Not-Live) and I wrote this mess of feelings about my 20 year history with Rent the musical as well as the online and IRL community surrounding the musical. I’m depositing it here beneath a cut. (If you’re friends with me on Facebook: it’s the same thing I posted there.)

I've lost count of how many times I've had to awkwardly explain to someone, "I used to be into the musical Rent. No, like….REALLY into it?" Just in case I've never had to explain it to you: I used to be REALLY into the musical Rent. My junior high school chorus sang "Seasons of Love;" I adored it and eventually purchased the 2-disc CD set at Best Buy. I listened to it, oh, let's say 525,600 times. I convinced my mom to take me to see the tour for my 14th birthday. In Green Bay, Wisconsin, a 6-hour drive from our home. I loved it; I spent hours hogging our dialup internet connection to talk about the show with strangers. My friends at school didn't get the obsession. I'm not entirely sure I get the obsession; I was a 14-year-old straight cis white girl from the Midwest hung up on mostly-queer starving artists in New York. (I note this because I know for a lot of Rent fans, part of the excitement was seeing themselves represented in a way that they weren’t often repsented in the media in general/musical theater in specific; I know that wasn’t my situation.) The closest I can come to identifying the source of my obsession might be the line "connection in an isolating age." Loving Rent brought me into a whole community of people who, in some way or another, didn't quite fit in a lot of places. I met new friends waiting overnight in rush ticket lines to see the tour (bless my parents for indulging my quest to sleep outside of every theater in the Midwest; I think my mom in particular understood that something about this was giving me a place to fit in).

But mostly I talked to my Rent friends online. We talked about the musical, our favorite songs and actors and characters, but we also talked about our lives. At first I was one of the younger ones on the boards and mailing lists, and in retrospect I'm pretty sure I was a monster, but I felt so empowered to talk to cool adults who were like, IN COLLEGE and stuff. I learned about their lives and what was possible outside of my rural hometown.

As I got older, I grew apart from Rent. I stopped listening to the cast recording so much, then entirely. I got embarrassed about how obsessed I'd been. I knew the general consensus was that Rent was cheesy and overwrought. Ha ha, yes, of course, Mark and Roger should just get jobs. Benny's just trying to follow his dreams of real estate ownership. Ha, right, what even IS a "season of love"?

Then in 2009, my best friend Megan, who I'd met through Rent--who co-ran a Rent website with me, who waited in Rent lines with me, who had simply the stupidest inside jokes in the world with me….died suddenly. I was devastated, obviously, and for a long time after that, Rent was just ruined for me, simply too emotionally overwhelming on every level. Some department store started using "Seasons of Love" in their commercials and it was like a kick in the face every time I heard even a few seconds of it.

In 2012 I took a trip to New York and decided to go see the Off-Broadway production of Rent. I went by myself and wasn't sure what to expect--I knew the staging was different from what I was familiar with. I honestly don't remember a fucking thing about that production except that I cried for pretty much two hours straight, at varying levels of intensity, from the very first opening note through the finale. It was emotionally overwhelming and really just a reboot to my system.

2016 marked the TWENTY YEAR anniversary of Rent, and with it, a new tour. I saw it in 2017 with another dear friend I'd made through Rent fandom. Again: I remember nothing of this experience except crying. Well--and talking to people in the lobby while waiting for lotto to be drawn; other people with very fond memories of having seen Rent years and years ago, people who remembered the message boards and the drama.

Last year, they announced one of the upcoming live TV musicals would be Rent. "That's wild," I thought. Rent was now mainstream enough to be broadcast on network television, like Grease. But hey--I'd watch it.

At the beginning of this year--2019, 10 years (5,256,000 minutes) since Megan died--I saw a posting for an online raffle to win a trip to see the dress rehearsal for Rent Live. I entered it of course, not thinking anything of it.

And then 2 weeks ago I got an apparently legit email--I'd WON this drawing. It didn't seem possible--so many people must have entered, how on earth would I win? (Like: I'm not saying that the ghost/angel of my Rent-obsessed best friend somehow rigged this online contest for me, but I can't prove that she DIDN'T.)

The rules of the contest didn't allow me to publicly announce it, and I was scared to talk about it anyway because I was not fully convinced that it was real. Still, I asked Kait, one of my other best friends--who I also met because of Rent, twenty years ago, and who remains a hugely integral part of my life to this day--if she'd want to be my guest on this trip, proving it turned out to be real.

It was real. We went. I felt very stressed and uncertain about it all, but on Saturday, January 26th we turned up at Fox Studios and they accepted my paperwork and gave us paper wristbands and made us wait in a long line and eventually? They let us sit down on chairs in a big studio, and some actors performed Rent in that studio. It was an amazing experience; there were 1300 other fans in there with us, all so excited to see this show that must have meant something to us--it wasn't easy to get tickets to be there, everyone there wanted to be there. While we were waiting for the show, all around us we heard people reminiscing about seeing it on Broadway, meeting the cast, hating the movie version.

There were changes made to the script and staging--of course we noticed, of course we all of us had the entire full text of the original show preserved in amber in our brains. For the most part, I didn't mind--most of the changes I thought were good, or at least okay. A few annoyed me but mostly...it was Rent! I cried, of course, the minute the lights went up and Mark began his familiar monologue. Eventually I stopped crying and I laughed and screamed and just enjoyed the songs; enough time had passed that I could experience the show in a new way. It felt like coming home.

(Years on Broadway message boards have made me aware of how unprepared I am to actually discuss theatrical performances; I don't know musical or theatrical terms, I can't tell if things are off-key unless it's very drastic. I am overall a very forgiving audience member; I want to like shows and performers and generally I do, though of course sometimes I have critiques. As I type this it's been a day since Rent "Live"--which turned out to mostly actually be the dress rehearsal that I saw, due to Brennin Hunt's injury--and plenty of people have plenty to say about how low energy it was, how so and so couldn't hit the appropriate notes...and I don't know about any of that. I just know that when I was there, watching it, I felt every moment and fell in love with every character, even though yeah they should totally try to get actual jobs or whatever.)

And then--we'd already known, from the internet, from some of our old Rent friends, that the Original Broadway cast was there that night too. We suspected they'd make an appearance for us; surely they wouldn't be there just to observe. And indeed...after the finale, they bounded out on stage and sang a reprise of "Seasons of Love." If that had happened to me when I was 16, I think I might have literally passed out. I'd listened to them on the cast recording so so many times, but of course they'd all left the show by 1999, when I got into Rent. (I've been lucky enough to see original actors in other projects since then, but not Rent.) Seeing them, hearing them...honestly I felt like I had full-on Beatlemania, I was literally shaking. I couldn't believe I was so lucky to see that and hear that and feel that.

And then the next day, I got home from LA in time to watch 2/3 of the show on TV. I livetweeted it and chatted in a group chat with a bunch of my Rent friends, people from all around the country. And that's what Rent is about, really--it's about the power and importance of community, and I'm so grateful to be a part of this one. #CompulsiveBowlers #FriendshipIsThickerThanBlood #NDBT

Anyway that's why I was in LA last weekend.

#dumb stuff i make up #my emotions

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nellie-elizabeth · 6 years

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Crazy Ex-Girlfriend: I Have to Get Out (4x13)

After watching this episode, I went on tumblr and discovered that there is Discourse about it. People are really heating up with the ship wars, and I'm just kinda over here with a shrug emoji about it all. That said, I am having some very complicated feelings about this episode in particular... let's get talking.

Cons:

So... there are a number of things that I didn't like about this episode, but that I acknowledge might actually not be so bad, provided that they are handled well in the coming weeks. The biggest example is this: I hated when Josh and Nathaniel both had scheming looks on their faces about the fact that Greg and Rebecca broke up. Josh and Rebecca have had such a fun dynamic this season and I don't want that to be ruined. And Nathaniel just had a whole episode devoted to his understanding that he needs to let Rebecca go. I don't want to see a repeat of the same poisonous behavior. BUT, I have to admit that this show is not just about Rebecca growing as a person. It's about the whole gang getting better and making strides to improve. Rebecca has backslides on her road to recovery, and I'm not saying that Josh and Nathaniel should be given as much care within the narrative, especially since neither of them has BPD, but it's possible that we're trying to show here that improving oneself doesn't always move in a straight line. Josh and Nathaniel might both be better people than when we first met them, but is it okay if we see them stumble and do bad things still sometimes? I don't know. I'm frustrated, but I also trust this show to handle the situation well, without condoning these men's behavior, but also without condemning them as people.

Then there's Skylar Astin. He's doing such an amazing job as Greg, but after watching this episode it has just occurred to me that it's really weird to bring Greg back if he's not going to be a central concern in the final episodes. I know that he doesn't need to end up with Rebecca in order to be important or grow as a person, but Greg was given an off-screen arc that felt pretty complete. He moved away and started a new life, met someone he was happy with and stayed sober. Did Greg really get brought back into the story just so that Rebecca could date him and break up with him, and then we'd see him kinda fade in to the background for the final few episodes? It feels weird to me. Again, though, I don't know where this is going. Maybe Greg will feel essential in these last few episodes. Maybe they do have more to do with him. Hell, maybe he and Rebecca end up together after all. I can only judge based on what I know so far, and what I know so far has given me some concerns.

Pros:

I loved the song about antidepressants. Holy crap. It was amazing. The choreography was cool, the message was so important to hear, the comedy was on point. I was all about this song. I also like seeing Rebecca adjust to her meds. She feels really sleepy, but she's sticking with it, and she knows that she needs to give it a try. For this show to point out the stigma against taking pills, and then do its part to dismantle that stigma, is really important and powerful. Rebecca is feeling the side effects, but she's not in a total fog like she has been in the past with her other meds.

The whole wacky scheme to get Paula out of the hospital so she could take the bar exam was great (although the bar is usually a two day test, so that was kind of odd). I like that it was silly and scheme-y and felt like vintage Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, but it was also more toned down and the consequences were less severe than in past instances. To me it seemed like a sign that Rebecca can recover and manage her mental health while still being the same person she's always been. She'll still do kind of wacky stunts with her friends, she'll still cross the line sometimes to help someone out, and she's still the kind of person with bad luck enough to get accidentally stuck in a morgue with three corpses who share her name.

Speaking of, the reprise to "The End of the Movie" was another awesome song. I think it works so well because of the themes of that earlier song. When we heard it last time, Rebecca was at her lowest point. She was realizing that life isn't going to work itself out magically in a tidy narrative, and she feels completely helpless because of that fact. In this instance, she is feeling tired on her new meds, and she's feeling sad that she doesn't have a dream to pursue. She wants life to give her a sign, and this time it does. It's not a lesson about life being like a movie after all. It's about being hopeful, and making proactive decisions without waiting for the universe to just guide you. And I love the idea of Rebecca pursuing theatre. It's one of those things that's totally obvious in hindsight, but I never would have thought of it as an end-game goal for her. I hope it goes well!

As angry as I was by the last few seconds of the episode, I actually thought Nathaniel, Greg, and Josh were hilarious for the majority of the run-time. I loved the fight, and the song cracked me up. Finally we're getting several episodes that have multiple great songs in a row - I think they were saving the good stuff for the end of the season! My favorite part of the song was the musical theatre bit, where Greg says he's really just a "singer who moves." That was excellent and so accurate. I also adored Nathaniel's exasperated and slightly freaked out reaction to the whole thing, and Greg setting down the weapon and saying "well, I didn't know," and then going right back to awkwardly grappling with Josh. So much comedy. These two men are acting incredibly immature, but I loved laughing at them all the same.

The breakup between Greg and Rebecca was really heartbreaking, and real, and true to both of their characters. I like that Rebecca talked about her triggers, explained that it wasn't Greg's fault, and was honest about the night of their fight, and how she went to both Nathaniel and Josh for comfort. She tells him about being on meds and doing the work to be okay. I go back and forth over what I want the ending of this show to be. I think Rebecca is someone who wants and deserves a healthy and happy romantic relationship, but I also think she's being honest with herself about needing to get on track before she can really make something work with another person. Her relationship with Greg has been so much healthier and better this time around than any of the other romances we've seen her have on this show. She's been honest, and seemed truly happy with him. Just because it didn't quite work out in this instance doesn't mean she's doomed to be single for life, and I think the show is doing a good job of telling us that.

Finally, the Darryl subplot was super adorable. I don't know that I have a lot to say about it, other than just: awwww. It was so sweet that Madison conspired with her rival in order to get her dad and her rival's mom a chance to get to know each other. It's cute when kids are aware of their parents' needs and want to help them out. I hope Darryl and this new woman can find some time to hang out and discuss bean dip and being single parents!

That's what I've got for now. Broken record time: this show is amazing. I might be slightly antsy about some of the stuff with Nathaniel and Josh, but I completely trust this show to know what it's doing and to do it right.

8/10

#review #crazy ex-girlfriend #crazy ex-girlfriend review #crazy ex girlfriend #crazy ex girlfriend review #crazy ex-gf #crazy ex gf

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unproduciblesmackdown · 6 years

Text

it’s 7am and for no especial reason im gonna throw out “bat boy” numbers that really go off which is, really all of them, but still, might as well share my wisdom

a) COMFORT AND JOY: obviously!!!!! THE song. it is seriously like, wow. the drama. and its Such a jam. what haven’t i already said to endorse it? cuz i’ll say some more.

b) SHOW YOU A THING OR TWO: automatically gets second spot b/c its second most likely to be in my head. it’s all “i’ll show you a thing or two, second verse with these-two-notes [two-notes]” and i do a little dance for those two-notes. and the lyrics “you’ll soon complete it—but, wait! ((??)) don’t eat it ((oh))” will loop thru my brain like fifteen times. lot of Musical Style variation in this whole show and this ones got like, a highstepping chorus line theme & thats a delight. and lots of incredible lyrics too, like this song’s “but now say howdy to a summa cum laude.” oh wait and i suppose its self explanatory but meredith The Mom and shelley The Daughter are teaching edgar The Bat Boy like, all of general knowledge in a matter of weeks / maybe several months. dr parker The Husband / Vet is tangentially helpful but not really because he sucks. meredith’s patience is v nice. you really have to root for them, except dr parker, because he sucks.

C) CHILDREN, CHILDREN: any ranking order beyond this is basically just me throwing darts w my eyes closed but this is a good third cuz its again that musical variety......this ones like, this 90s-ish movie credits remix echoey chimy synthy thing going on?? but its really a jam too. when the company joins in with the “oooo~shalala” i go BERSERK.....and there’s this suddenly punk rockish break in the middle of it. pretty great. what’s going on is that, as edgar and shelley are fleeing from Society into nature / the woods to reinvent their notions of humanity, the god of that sort of stuff Pan has shown up with an eden-esque panoply of animals to sing this song to set the mood. obviously.

D) WHATCHA WANNA DO: speaking of punk rockish...this is that? it’s a bit head-tiltingly jarring as its just this number in which one of the local teens who found edgar in the cave shows up to the parkers’ house where he’s currently caged and reacts to him in a Thematic Microcosm of what will be others’ reactions, aka to reflect a like, lack of inhibition re sex and mostly violence back at his feral nature and perceived inhumanity. one of the stranger numbers in a weird musical, but still a jam, see: punk rockish

E) A JOYFUL NOISE (REPRISE): end the musical here and everythings fine! just a real short one but a lot of fun because of what i just said. edgar goes to the local revival to beg the townspeople’s and preacher’s acceptance, and they give it to him. yet more musical style variety and a shoutout to this exchange

F) THREE BEDROOM HOUSE: send the musical in a different direction in the middle of this and everything could still be fine. this is a fun boppish number kinda reflecting elements of “show you a thing or two” musically, which i suppose is since its again mostly about meredith having decided that they can make this mess of a situation work. that mess being that, edgar Was accepted by the town but actually her husband killed a local teen and then showed up and blamed it on edgar & implied the mysterious plague upon their cows was edgar’s fault too and edgar’s run off into the woods. then this one is followed by children, children. i could go in order but its chaos rules only!!! the amount of fun energy in this song is frankly great and its like hell yeah meredith!!!!! hell yeah hock this stupid ring!!! kill your husband!! or whatever. js

G) CHRISTIAN CHARITY: god this one is fun idk......also self explanatory imo. local teens have found a cave cryptid, now the sheriff has him, he’s dragged him into the house where the local vet lives and is just p much casually dumping said cryptid on them, which is funny. there’s Musical Themes here repeated w some of the townspeople’s numbers & set up for comfort and joy....what really gets me is the sheriff’s part that starts abt a minute into the number where it’s like, this really neat almost-lilting musical phrase in the key of i don’t know, but its cool. i like it

H) INSIDE YOUR HEART: man, this one’s got this like, p simple musical Theme in there that’s just like, that’s all you need really. sort of like, the classic ballad duet type of song now. but also sort of cutting its own drama, b/c the musicals like, tragicomic and all. like edgar has this whole swelling “oh god this curséd existence you have to leave me” declaration and then immediately you get shelley’s matter of fact “...no.” even tho its a bit Meta Humorous like that, frankly its still a pretty great straightforward and sweet number which im sure a lot of musicàl love songs Wish they could be, which is just made more Smh by the fact that a) it’s about shelley trying to convince edgar its okay to drink her blood and b) because right after it ends meredith shows up to belatedly inform them that they’re half siblings. shits a wild ride.

I) A HOME FOR YOU: careening back to the beginning....this one is also less like, oh shit im gonna dance along, more of a subdued and quiet number, but its a nice solo of meredith’s and p sweet but not in a way like Inside Your Heart where its gonna get immediately wrecked. instead its one of the more grounded songs where she’s just telling the feral bat teen now in her house that maybe he can like, belong somewhere. it also has the Additional Depth not yet revealed in the plot that meredith is aware that edgar is her own child whom she had previously presumed dead. and this song is also Significant in that it’s Reprised when edgar realizes he might actually be fully human (he’s not) and is eager to go to the town’s upcoming revival and win their acceptance; and its Musical Theme is briefly reprised in “apology to a cow” when edgar is at the total opposite end of things, having been turned on by the town thx to the betrayal of his evil stepdad, and then having his and shelley’s attempt to forsake the need for social acceptance in the first place Also Wrecked by their mom telling them she’s their mom, so then he’s just mad at everything and murders a cow b/c he feels the only thing left is to embrace their idea of him as a killer monster, and he Reprises the a home for you theme as he swears to kill both meredith and dr parker, which he doesn’t, although they do Die around him. whoops. wanna @ will roland and be like “hey can you sing this one single line from Apology For A Cow?? cuz its rly cool and honestly a lot of these songs make me sure that wroland’s version of this material what with his voice and acting and how dramatically that production seemed to treat the outlandishness in general all means i’d fucking go ballistic and i wanna hear ‘this face will be the last thing that you ever see’ cuz that key change and that like, rise and fall at the end,,,,OOF,,,”

J) I IMAGINE YOU’RE UPSET: just round it off by slapping this climactic song right down. it’s a lot. dramatic again but also kinda fun...ish......i mean its the “everythings gone to shit and lets bring everyone together for peak disaster” so how much fun can be had? yet the quick exchange of “i smell [...] her sweat” “oh my god” whole town: “JESUS!!” and the sheriff singing “im sorry your life’s a sham” like hfvlmao thanks dude. but there’s all the clashes of characters’ built-up emotions and edgar is over here covered in blood and demanding to be killed while the town is like YEAH but all meredith’s lines are especially bittersweet and honestly like its a weird absurd story obviously and we’re all here to be ourselves and have fun but the story does make me bummed cuz of thinking about it all as “okay, yeah, but if you treat it earnestly,,,,Sad” like man you hearken back to three bedroom house and how meredith is determined to see it all be okay and really like just wants to live with her kids somewhere safe and NOT with her crap husband who’s been ruining everything the whole time for once. and then she’s here caught between the final confrontation of the Dramatic Foils that are edgar and dr parker and in general everything is a bit too late. ugh. lot of Dramatic Exchanges here and musical theme reprises!! that’s the good shit. and then the song ends on dr parker’s sort of ominous yet resigned-ish “are you hungry edgar” (shoutout to comfort and joy!!) after which he cuts his own throat, and, just like in comfort and joy, (and sort of like just prior to comfort and joy, when edgar reflexively defended meredith from dr parkers Violent Behavior) when he presents edgar w the fresh blood edgar automatically Attacks, wherein dr parker takes the chance to stab him, and inadvertently stabs meredith when she tries to shield edgar, and they all three die w edgar bleeding-outly refuting his humanity to shelley, and then there’s the final number where everyone’s like wow that was some shit. but ACTUALLY there is also this one specific detail i’d be desperate to see from the nyu steinhardt version, which is that after they all die and there’s that Breathless Moment, the Man From The Institute who the sheriff had called earlier to deal with edgar Rushes In and sort of beholds the whole town gathered staring at these three bodies and maybe a cow’s head off to the side, and one of the townspeople just goes “...you’re late.” and i am so certain that this line is HghhfGH-wheeze-laugh worthy; but the performance i saw they did NOT do the timing right!!! they said it like right off whereas what you need to do is hold the pause at least three full seconds!! and then go: You’re Late. i’m adamant about this. so much of Landing The Delivery is timing!! anyways. god. press f. anyways. it’s now 9 am. thanks and good morning. basically saying that the whole soundtrack is basically pretty great and really will roland has doomed me to actually be invested in this weird story, b/c its the ol magical realism comedic-framed wild obviously-that-would-never-happen plot, but, still, you’ve got this teen trying his best and it COULD all be fine actually but it all goes to shit b/c nobody killed dr parker in time really. well i’d just like to conclude by saying it’s raining and that’s great b/c i love when it’s raining

#long post ///#but a great and essential post //:/#february 2011 nyu steinhardt players club bat boy production starring will roland #like i WISH bc i wish we had that productions versions of all these songs!!! and the whole thing rly!!!! help me william spinnato!!!!

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e8luhs · 6 years

Text

QUEEN OF PEACE.

LISTEN ON SPOTIFY

TRACKLIST & ANNOTATIONS UNDER THE CUT! (last edited 04.04.19)

I. QUEEN OF PEACE / FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE

oh, the queen of peace always does her best to please is it any use somebody's gotta lose like a long stream i'll bear all this echoing oh, what is it worth all that's left is hurt

II. FLAMINGO / KERO KERO BONITO

black, white, green or blue show off your natural hue flamingo if you're multicolored, that's cool too you don't need to change it's boring being the same flamingo you're pretty either way

III. FRIEND [LOVER] / EVENINGS

[instrumental]

IV. BEATOPHONE / CARAVAN PALACE

[instrumental]

V. OTTER POP / SHAWN WASABI

jello shots and lemon drops this is how we otter pop this is how we otter pop higher than an astronaut this is how we otter pop

VI. HEART ATTACK (CHUU) / LOONA

you attack my heart!

VII. CALL ME / BLONDIE

call me (call me) on the line call me, call me any, anytime call me (call me) oh love when you're ready we can share the wine call me

VIII. PANIC / CARAVAN PALACE

[instrumental]

IX. HER PERFUME / POGO

[instrumental]

X. MY BLOOD / ELLIE GOULDING

that feeling that doesn't go away just did and i walked a thousand miles to prove it and i'm caught in the crossfire of my own thoughts the color of my blood is all i see on the rocks as you sail from me

XI. RUINS / TOBY FOX

[instrumental]

XII. DOG DAYS ARE OVER / FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE

she hid around corners and she hid under beds she killed it with kisses and from it she fled with every bubble she sank with a drink and washed it away down the kitchen sink

XIII. TEARDROP / MASSIVE ATTACK

water is my eye most faithful mirror fearless on my breath teardrop on the fire of a confession

XIV. THE TROUBLE / POGO

[instrumental]

XV. JENNY / STUDIO KILLERS

i wanna ruin our friendship we should be lovers instead i don't know how to say this 'cause you're really my dearest friend i wanna ruin our friendship i don't know how to say this 'cause you're really my dearest friend

XVI. SEA CASTLE / PURITY RING

i could give you petty rhymes of worlds that i contrive they're in my sleep, my dreams i speak them slow, so you can read and not stand back and stare and fear foolish devouring things and not stand back and stare and fear foolish devouring

XVII. WASH MY HANDS / KORMAC

[instrumental]

XVIII. GETTIN’ MY MOM ON / JACK STAUBER

cup in my cap, and i'ma drinka my mimosa! read “keep calm carry on” poster (slip into jc penney’s having a day sale gettin’ my mom on)

XIX. BE ALRIGHT / SHE

[instrumental]

XX. BABE / EVENINGS

[instrumental]

XXI. BUTTERFLY / LOONA

it gets dizzy everything around me is blue, now with you, you, now a folded paper moon like i’m wandering in-between i better be around you

XXII. WET HANDS / C418

[instrumental]

XXIII. ALL MY STARS ALIGNED / ST VINCENT

i do a dance to make the rain come smile to keep the sky from falling down, down, down, down collect the love that i've been given build a nest for us to sleep in here you know it's real

XXIV. HALF CAFF / GO! CHILD

you saw me collapse past the frame asking me as i fell to my knees, "is this how it should end?" but i told you i wasn't worth any of this feeling the abyss, i looked up and i said ... and i said, "here i go again"

XXV. ASSEZ VIF, TRES RHYTHME / SATIE STRING QUARTET

[instrumental]

XXVI. NEWBOP / CARAVAN PALACE

[instrumental]

XXVII. PROLOGUE / DISASTERPEACE

[instrumental]

XXVIII. WAR OF HEARTS / RUELLE

i can’t help but be wrong in the dark 'cause I’m overcome in this war of hearts i can’t help but want oceans to part 'cause I’m overcome in this war of hearts

XXIX. MAKE UP YOUR MIND / FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE

make up your mind let me leave or let me love you while you've been saving your neck, i've been breaking mine for you

XXX. RUNNING UP THAT HILL (A DEAL WITH GOD) / KATE BUSH

you don't want to hurt me, but see how deep the bullet lies unaware I'm tearing you asunder ooh, there is thunder in our hearts

XXXI. BODYACHE / PURITY RING

i, i, i lied, now i'm lying awake i, i, i cried 'til my body ache i, i, i lied, now i'm lying awake i, i, i cried 'til my body ache

XXXII. SHIP TO WRECK / FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE

what's with the long face, do you want more? thousands of red-eyed mice, scratching at the door don't let the curtain catch you, cause you've been here before the chair is an island darling, you can't touch the floor

XXXIII. HEARTACHE / UNDERTALE

[instrumental]

XXXIV. DREAM SWEET IN SEA MAJOR / MIRACLE MUSICAL

a siren sounds like the goddess who promises endless apologies of paradise and only she can make it right so things are different tonight we'll go together in flight

XXXV. COTTON HEADS / CARAVAN PALACE

i'll tell you why the pictures on the wall, i want to get away from it all

XXXVI. END OF THOUGHT / REGINA SPEKTOR

be careful before you decide the universe is too big the universe is too big you cannot make a mistake you cannot make a mistake

XXXVII. FEAR THE FUTURE / ST VINCENT

when the war rose and fell and the oceans are swell i run for you, run for me too

XXXVIII. FINESHRINE / PURITY RING

that i might see with my chest and sink into the edges round you into the lakes and quarries that brink on all the edges round you, round you, round you

XXXIX. SILENT SPRING / MASSIVE ATTACK

[instrumental]

XL. FOLDING CHAIR / REGINA SPEKTOR

now i've been sitting on this abandoned beach for years waiting for the salty water to cover up my ears but every time the tide come in to take me home i get scared, and i'm sitting here alone dreaming of the dolphin song

XLI. IMPOSTOR SYNDROME / SIDNEY GISH

every other day i’m wondering what’s a human being gotta be like? what’s a way to just be competent? these sweet instincts ruin my life

XLII. SEA OF ATLAS / SLEEPING AT LAST

there's a fine line, a fine line in between our progress and our instability we can't help ourselves but hunt for more a design flaw? or the olive branch that proves the shore- the catalyst we've waited for

XLIII. THE CALL / REGINA SPEKTOR

just because everything's changing doesn't mean it's never been this way before all you can do is try to know who your friends are as you head off to the war

XLIV. NOBODY / MITSKI

and i don't want your pity i just want somebody near me guess i'm a coward i just want to feel alright

XLV. SOFTLY WE GO / EVENINGS

[instrumental]

XLVI. DROWN / MARIKA HACKMAN

oh, to drown in your mind i would, i know i would to suffocate in your smoke i'd choke on you if i could maybe i will

XLVII. KALEIDOSCOPE / ARC IRIS

did i singe every hair from the body i have left? did i lose every drop of scent? a farse, a fall, an effigy hanging by a thread

XLVIII. SLOWBIRTH / ELSIANE

why am i full of emptiness? someday i will find my way ‘cause i always start to fall every moment that we face oh please help me find my way

XLIX. FALLEN DOWN (REPRISE) / TOBY FOX

[instrumental]

L. NOW, NOW / ST VINCENT

i'm not the feather at your feet i'm not your yellow brick street i'm not anyone you'll see i'm not anything

LI. OPHELIA / MARIKA HACKMAN

she who walks alone in life, is she of sound mind? i am only as old as i've been told now i'm playing for time

LII. NOBODY KNOWS / ELSIANE

it’s been so hard the task to resolve investigating ourselves becoming what we don’t want to be suffering all by ourselves

LIII. ALICE / POGO

[instrumental]

LIV. WATERFALL / TOBY FOX

[instrumental]

LV. ROUND / THE MOTH AND THE FLAME

tones bring us pleasure, but how do you hear the absence of melody where was our mother to tell us with songs of assurance, "you're not alone"

LVI. CHAMPAGNE YEAR / ST VINCENT

i'll make a living telling people what they want to hear it's not a killing, but it's enough to keep the cobwebs clear

LVII. VANERHAVET / DETEKTIVBYRAN

[instrumental]

LVIII. WHAT THE WATER GAVE ME / FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE

and oh, poor atlas the world's a beast of a burden you've been holding on a long time and all this longing and the ships are left to rust that's what the water gave us

LIX. YOU’VE GOT TIME / REGINA SPEKTOR

think of all the roads, think of all their crossings taking steps is easy, standing still is hard remember all their faces, remember all their voices everything is different the second time around

LX. STRANDED LULLABY / MIRACLE MUSICAL

there's a still tension in the swell so give in to the vast receiving emptiness of time beyond, beyond

LXI. ATHENA / HOT SUGAR

[instrumental]

LXII. WOMAN KING / IRON & WINE

hundred years, hundred more someday we may see a woman king, sword in hand swing at some evil and bleed

LXIII. HARDEST OF HEARTS / FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE

there is love in your body but you can't get it out it gets stuck in your head, won't come out of your mouth sticks to your tongue and it shows on your face that the sweetest of words have the bitterest taste

LXIV. SCIENCE/VISIONS / CHVRCHES

when you are truly yourself, you will succumb to a permanence a light by day a shadow resides by night

LXV. MODERATION / FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE

i've never made it with moderation no, i've never understood all the feeling was all or nothing and i took everything i could can't hold it back, i can't take the tension oh, i'm trying to be good want me to love you in moderation well don't you know, i wish i could

LXVI. WE PUT A PEARL IN THE GROUND / ST VINCENT

[instrumental]

LXVII. RECOVER / RUELLE

can you see me? i can barely see myself are we only empty frames up on the shelf it's like we're dreaming wide awake everything bends, until it breaks

LXVIII. SORRY / THE MOTH AND THE FLAME

i'm sorry for everything i've done and i'll no sooner lay down than i'll be anything I'm not i don't question the rules, i answer for them

LXIX. POOR ATLAS / DESSA

there's a book full of plans at the feet of poor atlas titled "for man" but the architects only drew blanks now there's nowhere to go but go back, go back, go back, go back

LXX. THOUSAND EYES / OF MONSTERS AND MEN

i lie awake and watch it all it feels like thousand eyes

LXXI. AQUARIUM / NOSAJ THING

[instrumental]

LXXII. BLACK SUN / DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE

how could something so fair be so cruel when this black sun revolved around you

LXXIII. PERFECT ON THE SURFACE / EMILY HAINES & THE SOFT SKELETON

this is, this is the purpose of my life harvest all my love, harness all my power to be perfect on the surface the surface cracks and i harvest all my love, harness all my high to be perfect on the surface the surface shine

LXXIV. NOTHING BUT TIME / METRIC

i wanted to be part of something i got nothing but time so the future is mine

LXXV. BREAKING DOWN / FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE

all alone, even when i was a child i've always known there was something to be frightened of i can see it coming from the edge of the room creeping in the streetlight holding my hand in the pale gloom can you see it coming now?

LXXVI. STILL / BEN FOLDS

i must give the impression that i have the answers for everything you were so disappointed to see me unravel so easily

LXXVII. NOT THE VILLAIN / S. J. TUCKER

if you want the very truth, i'll lay it down before you: everybody's got a story if you want the very truth, it's here before your eyes: every witch was someone's princess in some other once upon a time

LXXVIII. TORNADOLAND / REGINA SPEKTOR

before the light goes out why don’t you close your eyes? and all the monsters in your mind just wanna be nice they wanna be kind, they wanna play nice, they wanna be

LXXIX. THE PARTY / ST VINCENT

do you have change or a button or cash? oh, my pockets hang out like two surrender flags oh, but i'd pay anything to keep my conscience clean i'm keeping my eye on the exit sign, steady now

LXXX. TIME FOR US / ELSIANE

realizing never before you tried to compromise all you’re fighting within us all it’s undesired you’re hiding behind all this now that you found this follow your own way

LXXXI. NATTOPET / DETEKTIVBYRAN

[instrumental]

LXXXII. NO CHOIR / FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE

but the loneliness never left me i always took it with me but i can put it down in the pleasure of your company and there will be no grand choirs to sing no chorus will come in, no ballad will be written it will be entirely forgotten and if tomorrow it's all over, at least we had it for a moment oh darling things seem so unstable but for a moment we were able to be still

LXXXIII. RECOVER / CHVRCHES

and if i recover will you be my comfort? or it can be over or we can just leave it here so pick any number choose any color i've got the answer open the envelope

LXXXIV. ONE / SLEEPING AT LAST

now, i have learned my lesson; the price of this so-called perfection is everything i've spent my whole life searching desperately to find out that grace requires nothing of me

LXXXV. THE FACE PART II / METRIC

[instrumental]

LXXXVI. SPECTRUM / FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE

say my name and every color illuminates we are shining and we will never be afraid again

LXXXVII. PARTYLAND / DETEKTIVBYRAN

[instrumental]

LXXXVIII. PINK IN THE NIGHT / MITSKI

i could stare at your back all day i could stare at your back all day and i know i've kissed you before, but i didn't do it right can i try again, try again, try again? try again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again?

LXXXIX. HOME SWEET HOME / DETEKTIVBYRAN

[instrumental]

XC. HANG ON ME / ST VINCENT

yeah, so hang on me hang on me, hang on me, 'cause you and me we're not meant for this world

XCI. NEW YEAR / REGINA SPEKTOR

she sets her alarm five minutes to midnight and wakes just in time to say her goodbyes thanking the old year for all it has brought her no mention of the things it took away

XCII. AGER (MIND REEL) / EVENINGS

[instrumental]

XCIII. HEARTLINES / FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE

just keep following the heartlines on your hand just keep following the heartlines on your hand

XCIV. COME INTO THE WATER / MITSKI

i didn't know i had a dream i didn't know until i saw you so would you tell me if you want me? 'cause i can't move until you show me

XCV. I’M GOOD, I’M GONE / LYKKE LI

i'm working a sweat but it's all good i'm breaking my back but it's all good cause i know I'll get it back yeah, i know your hands will clap

XCVI. THE MOTHER WE SHARE / CHVRCHES

i'm in misery but you can't see, as old as your omens and the mother we share will never keep your proud head from falling the way is long but you can make it easy on me and the mother we share will never keep our cold hearts from calling

XCVII. SHAKE IT OUT / FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE

and i've been a fool and i've been blind i can never leave the past behind i can see no way, i can see no way i'm always dragging that horse around

XCVIII. SUN / SLEEPING AT LAST

we are the dust of dust we are the apple of god’s eye we are infinite as the universe we hold inside

XCIX. 054 / DETEKTIVBYRAN

[instrumental]

C. GOODBYE FOREVER / EVENINGS

[instrumental]

#plylsts #cataclysmalbound #yes we have undertale music on here and its allowed because lyreni canonically has played undertale. so it works

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