#cool birds

[strangelittlestories]

After shoving Hansel in the oven, the witch turns to Gretel - who is currently fending the witch off with a gingerbread chair - and says:

"I can't believe you thought a trail of breadcrumbs would save you. I mean, honestly, this is a forest! It's full of animals. Honestly, the very idea that a dumb shit like you thought you could get the better of me is absurd."

Gretel hits her in the face with said chair. To be fair to the witch, she takes the chairshot like a champ.

"Ow!"

"Did you know," says Gretel, "that crows are capable of facial recognition?"

"Eh?" Says the witch, clambering to her feet and pulling a candy cane sledgehammer off the wall. "What's that got to do with anything?"

"Not only that," Gretel continues, "but they can remember both friends and enemies. And they'll often follow people they remember as friends."

The two fence with their sugared weapons for a moment, before the witch knocks the chair out of Gretel's hands.

"Enough with the bird facts! Honestly, this whole attempted escape has been utter clownshoes. Get in the fucking oven!"

She seizes Gretel by the collar. Gretel immediately sandbags, letting her whole body go limp. This eminently practical defense forces the witch to try and deadlift her. Which is hard, as the witch often skips leg day.

"For example," Gretel says, as the witch struggles and grunts, "if you feed crows a lot of breadcrumbs, they'll probably start to see you as a friend and follow you in the hope of more food."

The witch stops. Outside, she hears the thunder of wings.

"They'll even bring you shiny things they find as presents!" Says Gretel, as a corner of the gingerbread ceiling is suddenly cut away by a large crow with a knife in its mouth.

"Oh shitballs." Says the witch, as the crows descend. "I hope you know this is a great unkindness."

"Technically," Says Gretel, "It's a murder."

---

Thank you for reading. If you'd like to support my writing, you can do so at https://ko-fi.com/strangelittlestories

[leavandragon]

hi! could you draw a Pidgey? please

Hey, of course! Decided to have some fun with this too to spice it up! Here's a radical pidgey! Hope ya like it!

[bird-of-the-day]

BOTD: Bee Hummingbird

^Image credit: Charles J. Sharp, Wikipedia

Bee Hummingbird (Mellisuga helenae) 

The Bee Hummingbird, also known as the Helena Hummingbird or Zunzuncito, is the world's smallest bird. It is also classed as the world's smallest dinosaur, as no smaller bird or non-avian dinosaur has ever been found as a fossil. They will typically consume up to half their body weight in food a day.

[self-appointed-nerd]

an animal i think is metal

this is a lammergeier it lives primarily in central asia and it rolls in red ochre clay to turn its feathers red i think it looks very cool and it looks like it would be a metalhead i am obsessed with this bird

[autistic-bowlcut-swag]

Propaganda under cut

Gloster Canary

- I nearly started crying with mirth when I saw a photo of one for the first time because these birds live their whole life looking like this and that's so so beautiful to me. While surely I can't declare every single Gloster Canary has autism I just like telling people about them because they're so cute and so silly looking.

Violet Beauregard

-She has special interests in sports and gum! She was a legend! She put herself on the frontlines to test the new product! She has the spirit of an inventor! Pride is not a sin I love her.

[rockdove2]

Java Sparrows!!! (Padda oryzivora)

According to the IUCN Red List, Java Sparrows are endangered, with a population of 1000-2499 mature individuals.

The IUCN suggests this is due to popularity as a cage bird leading to trapping, however loss of habitat and even hunting could also be a factor in its decline.

[purpleleafsbirdses]

You needed to see this bird

Wilson's bird of paradise

That is all continue

[jlmichigan]

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Dana D'Oench (@damnitdanad)

We've been visited by aliens!

A bird for you @spybrarian

[nationalparksocks]

A juvenile sharp shinned hawk hung out on this lawn chair in my yard the other day!!!!

It was such a good model it just stood still and posed for like 20 minutes!! Then it pooped on the lawn chair and I missed getting a pic of it flying away😔and then it immediately flew into my neighbors window! But it kept going and flew away so I guess it was ok yay!

I’m pretty sure it was a sharp shinned hawk. They kind of look exactly like coopers hawks. Either way I’ve never seen a sharp shinned or coopers hawk before!!

[averyweakgay]

Objectively the Great Potoo is one of the creatures of all time

Just look at it

Just a creature. Nothing in that big dumb head. Flawless.

[sleepy-sluggo]

Mississippi kite <3 an absolute cutie

[giantpetrel]

An 8-million-year-old phorusrhacid trackway shows that terror birds, who were already noted for having a somewhat dromeosaur-like second toe (the same being true for seriemas), held it aloft, possibly for both pinning down prey and as an adaption for fast running.

[kokallokal]

@bobacupcake omg I found you because I looked up cool bird and clicked on it and it said mp3 included and OMFG the cool bird has cool theme! Thankyou for making this, I love you!

[bird-of-the-day]

BOTD: Paradise Shelduck

^Image credit: Dick Daniels

Paradise Shelduck (Tadorna variegata)

Endemic to New Zealand, Paradise Shelducks are the most widely distributed waterfowl there. They typically mate for life and usually live as pairs. They first breed in their second or third years of life, forming strong bonds with their mate and defending their territory.

[kawaiipythonoldaccount]

THIS BIRD

THIS BIRD needs to be a pokemon plz nintedo

[autistic-bowlcut-swag]

Propaganda under the cut

Gloster Canary (from real life)

-I nearly started crying with mirth when I saw a photo of one for the first time because these birds live their whole life looking like this and that’s so so beautiful to me. While surely I can’t declare every single Gloster Canary has autism I just like telling people about them because they’re so cute and so silly looking. 

Mako Mankanshoku

-I just submitted the form for mob but I realized I forgot about mako who is 100% autistic as hell and also deserves to be in your poll too even though hardly anyone remembers kill la kill at this point so I don’t know if she’ll get nominated enough to be on your poll.