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akutasoda · 6 months

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Aventurine with teen reader, please.

He would meet you when you’ve just joined the IPC, becoming your superior and having you run errands or finish up paperwork

Diligent, dedicated and hard working, those words could be describe by him to you after see you work.

But one thing you’re weak about… you can’t collect debts since you’re too soft and easy to get emotional by words. (some of them are lies)

So..

Topaz and Numby/ Aventurine and reader: best cooperation team works

personal debts

synopsis - as a new employee who has the IPC watching you, aventurine can only hope to save you from the worst

includes - aventurine ft topaz and numby - platonic!

warnings - gn!teen!reader, fluff, slight angst, IPC kinda sucks, wc - 1.2k

the IPC was a reputable and respected organisation known throughout the galaxy, or atleast to those that had never been in debt to them or worked with them. IPC soldiers and workers would complain about the awful conditions but they knew what awaited them if they spoke bad about the IPC. in reality, the IPC was a money hungry organisation that had no issues with taking planets hostage if debts were due and had no issue prying on the weak and vulnerable for recruitment.

of course some people knew all about the harsh reality of the IPC but they were either in debt and couldn't afford to speak out or they worked there. the stonehearts were a great example, each one was very aware of the real IPC but they either simply didn't care or were also trapped within it's schemes and had to devote absolute loyalty.

an IPC worker's experience could also be dictated to who they would be assigned under. the more general corporate areas were always harsher and near impossible to work in, however some lucky few could be assigned under the few kind souls left in the IPC. when you had first been roped into the IPC you didn't know what to expect and were soon pushed into a general corporate area, that's when you realised the situation you had been put in.

fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how you saw it, the IPC had realised you had some talent that couldn't be wasted in the lowly areas and immediately promoted you under a stoneheart - you could tell it was a test to see your true usefulness when you became informed it was more of a secretary job but you really would take anything over your previous position. it wasn't entirely unusual for the stonehearts to have a few workers worming directly under them, especially some poor souls who were assigned to help with paperwork's and galaxy wide errands. aventurine was only informed of this change on the day you were moved to his department.

he didn't want to come of as rude, after all he appreciated the extra hand with the mountains of paperwork, but he didn't really see the need for an assistant - especially a teenager. aventurine had been in the IPC long enough to know that they were merely seeing how useful and adaptable you could be so he didn't really want to make your job harder for you by dismissing you, always letting you carry out your duties even if they really weren't necessary. just after one day, he started seeing why the higher-ups thought you'd be better off in a higher position.

you surprised him with how efficiently you carried out your duties. you were so hardworking and dedicated to the task given to you that he simply couldn't tell if you actually enjoyed your job or if you were trying your hardest to survive. aventurine didn't really want to question why a teen such as yourself was roped into affairs with the IPC, everyone had their own reason including him.

to you, aventurine was one of the best bosses you could ask for - you had heard from other workers about their situations and you counted yourself lucky. he never gave you excessive work amounts and always reminded you to take breaks if you looked worn out, sometimes he'd even replace your errands with simpler ones such as indulging him in a card game of your choice instead of traveling across the galaxy. you couldn't really understand why he was so nice to you but you never complained - he seemed impossible to read anyway so you'd rather live with the questions.

aventurine wasn't surprised that your hardworking attitude had gotten you more duties on top of the one's he assigned you, he knew the IPC always liked to test their valuable resources as much as they could - work their most valuable workers until they were exhausted and no longer useful. he understood your situation, he had been in your shoes not too long ago, and made sure to lessen the work you had under him in order to allow you to focus on your new work. aventurine surprised you a couple of times when he offered to accompany you to another are of the galaxy, you always refused as he surely had a lot more to do but he always insisted.

your new work had involved you travelling across the galaxy to collect debts and run errands for other higher-ups. you excelled in running the errands but always fell short when it came to debts, you were too soft and became easily swayed by people's sob stories and pleas for more time even if they were lying right to your face. aventurine witnessed this first hand when he accompanied you one time. you were sent to retrieve some debts from a few individuals all on the same planet, but when you got their one man spun you lie after lie and aventurine watched as your face softened and you tried promising him that you'd find a way to give him more time.

aventurine couldn't blame you. the IPC made people do horrible things to others and made most workers desensitised to destroying other peoples entire livelihoods - but they were unforgiving. if you didn't carry out your duties they would pass you off as useless and aventurine didn't want you meeting that fate at your age, so begrudgingly he would step in and collect the debts for you. it made neither of you feel good but aventurine had fallen too deep into the IPC rabbit hole and was more exposed to their methods. of course as a stoneheart, aventurine had many duties to attend to and couldn't always accompany you so he would entrust a fellow stonehearrt to your cause.

topaz was more used to collecting debts than both you and aventurine. she could be rather brutal and always made those in debt hand over the money by any means to their disposal, and so aventurine knew that she could help you with your debt collections. especially since she could also sympathise with your situation. she knew that the IPC didn't care how old or young you were, as long as you remained useful, but she could agree that roping teenagers into their dealings was a bit too far. so you became rather familiar with another stoneheart.

it became a regular occurrence for aventurine or topaz, and numby, to assist you on your debt collections, eventually you started feeling bad that they helped you so you offered to assist them as best you could on their missions. you four worked perfectly as a group and ot surprised neither of the stonehearts that the IPC would take advantage of your alliance to promote you and push you further into their schemes. so when aventurine was forced into gifting you a cornerstone on the IPC's behalf as your boss, him and topaz (and numby) could only make sure to assist you in anyway they could - it wasn't too late for you.

#—stellaronhvnters.#x reader #x gender neutral reader #honkai star rail x you #honkai star rail x gender neutral reader #honkai star rail x reader #hsr x gender neutral reader #hsr x you #hsr x reader #honkai star rail aventurine #hsr aventurine #aventurine x reader

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the-scarlet-witch-22 · 4 months

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Love and Liabilities: Chapter Four (Agatha Harkness x Fem!Reader)

Summary: As you prepare for the impending trial and attempt to find ways to relieve your stress, the biggest stressor in your life has a funny way of showing up when you least expect it.

Word Count: 2.3k

A/N: Lawyer!Agatha is back after a little hiatus! This is a bit of a shorter chapter to get me back into writing after a few months. I’m hoping to be updating a bit more regularly but I’m (sadly) growing even more busy & stressed, so I promise to do the best I can! As always I hope you enjoy, and thank you so much for reading! Please feel free to let me know what you think. My asks/dm’s are always open!

Tag List: @chiar4anna @harknessshi @neverfindmegone @aggieslittleslut @ris-ris-mind @tr333sus @sabstance-blog

Present Day

The whooshing of the wind in your ears combined with the cool air filling your lungs fueled you to increase your pacing as you ran through the deserted park. It had been nearly a week since you reunited with Agatha, and your brain had been hellbent on torturing you ever since. Nothing could take your mind off the infuriating attorney, not even work. You had spent the past few days pouring over every word in the various documents Agatha presented during the pretrial conference, hoping to find something, anything really, to solidify your case.

It was times like this when you missed working in corporate law. Although you had only been a junior attorney at Stark & Strange, you had unlimited access to paralegals and attorneys at your disposal. Unfortunately, working for the government meant not only taking a significant pay cut, but also limiting your outsourcing. You didn’t regret your decision to leave the firm, but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss the perks.

Since burying yourself in piles of work proved useless, your only real escape from Agatha came from running. The familiar burning sensation began to fill your lungs as your body begged for a break, but you forced yourself to continue. Your legs felt heavier than when you first started, and as you rounded the corner of the trail you had to work twice as hard to not slow down. Even though you were growing tired, the rush of endorphins was a welcome change from the haunting memory of searing blue eyes burning holes into your own.

Agatha would be far too pleased to learn how much of your time and energy was being wasted trying to forget her. However, being the soul sucking succubus she was, you wouldn’t be surprised if she was already aware of the pain she was causing. A swell of anger suddenly overtook you, a feeling you had long grown familiar with when thinking of her, and you used it to finish the final stretch of your run. The thudding of your feet on the pavement along with the loud thumping of your heartbeat acting as a painful reminder of the woman you so desperately wanted to rid yourself of.

Swirls of scarlet, orange, and yellow painted the Manhattan skyline as the sun gradually rose over the city, and the quiet beeping of your phone from your back pocket signaled the end of your run. Nearing the end of the trail, you slowed your pace down to a steady walk, allowing yourself to do some breathing exercises in the process whilst checking your email. It was early enough in the morning that there wasn’t much for you to go through, but you knew it was bound to be yet another busy day.

You had timed your run to give yourself just enough time to head back to your apartment to get ready for the day and get to the office before the rest of your colleagues. The stress of the looming trial was becoming overwhelming, and you had to be prepared for whatever chaos Agatha would inevitably throw at you. Unfortunately that meant you were working nearly double the amount of hours than normal.

Luckily you were able to take a quick shower, find clean clothes in the back of your closet, and managed to get to work before anyone else had arrived. You would hopefully have an hour or two to yourself before you were eventually interrupted, and you intended to use every last possible second you could. As you strolled the corridor, you were tempted to stop to make yourself a coffee, but decided to get settled before adding caffeine to this situation.

Absentmindedly dropping your bag to the floor after you entered your office, you refocused your attention on reading a memo that one of your colleagues had left for you. Making mental notes of what needed to be addressed, you turned to open the blinds when you stopped dead in your tracks at what was in front of you.

Agatha Harkness sat in an armchair in the corner of your office, an amused expression painting her face. You nearly fell over at the sight of her, how did she get in here? The door was locked when you had arrived, wasn’t it?

Agatha, unaware of your current inner ramblings, took a sip of her coffee before repositioning herself, recrossing her legs as she gave you a disappointed look. “Your lack of situational awareness is truly astonishing. I could have been a murderer.”

Adrenaline continued to course through your body as your heart thumped loudly in your chest. Taking a deep breath, you ignored her sarcastic remarks as you leaned against your desk, attempting to calm down.

“What-what the hell are you doing in here?” You spluttered out, unsuccessfully trying to regain your composure.

The attorney frowned, as if that was an absurd question. “This is your office, is it not? I wasn’t sure at first, but the withering plants were a bit of a giveaway.”

Typical Agatha. They weren’t dying, were they? You made a mental note to ask your paralegal to water them a bit more.

Ignoring the jab, you took another deep breath, your body still on edge. “Do I even want to know how you got in here?”

Taking a moment to think over your words, she shook her head. “No. Now drink your coffee before the ice melts.”

It was then that you noticed the untouched cup of iced coffee on the edge of your desk. Narrowing your eyes at it, you gave her a suspicious glance. “How do I know you didn’t poison it?”

Agatha rolled her eyes, as if that was the most ridiculous thing to ask her and she didn’t just break into your office. “Honestly, dear. You’re far too paranoid this early in the morning. Drink. We both know how irritable you are without caffeine.”

When you refrained from grabbing the cup, Agatha huffed, her stormy blue eyes swirling in annoyance as she rose from her seat. Taking a step towards you until your legs were nearly touching, she snatched the cup, the silence in the room disrupted by the clanking sound of the ice swirling in the cup. Hovering over you, she used her free hand to grab yours, the soft feel of her touch briefly taking you back to a time where it would have been more welcomed.

Your breath hitched as the rich, musky scent of her expensive perfume washed over you, and you fought the temptation to look into her eyes. How many times had you found yourself in this exact same position with her, you mused lightly as your brain attempted to regain its ability to function. Agatha’s fingers intertwined with yours, as she leaned in even closer, her lips grazing your jawline and you closed your eyes, fighting against the urge to lean into her touch.

Clearing your throat, you shook your head. “No. This can’t happen again.”

Agatha pulled back, her eyebrows slightly raised. “What can’t happen again?”

Giving her a pointed look, you tried to ignore the feel of her fingers still interwoven with your own. “I don’t think we need to relive that mistake, do we?”

“Oh I don’t know about that,” Agatha replied, swishing the cup of iced coffee as she lifted it up. “I seem to recall you rather enjoying yourself during that mistake, or was that someone else who pulled me into a closet and jumped me?”

“I did not jump you! You’re the one who came onto me,” you hissed as your irritation grew exponentially.

“Easy, tiger,” Agatha teased, raising the cup until the straw was nearly touching your lips. “I see the caffeine withdrawal is already kicking in.”

“Agatha…” you trailed off, ignoring your brain protesting that this would hurt even more than your last encounter.

Dropping your hand, Agatha gently cupped your jaw, tilting your head upwards until you were forced to meet her eyes.

“Sip,” Agatha murmured, raising the cup once more to your lips.

Her words were soft, but you both knew it wasn’t a request as much as a command. A part of you knew this was a mistake, that you couldn’t give into her yet again after being strong for so long. But then you looked into her eyes and found yourself getting lost in the fiery intensity she always seemed to carry. Logic and reason held no weight against the pleasure that was being at the mercy of Agatha Harkness.

Wrapping your lips around the straw, you lightly sucked, savoring the creamy, cold taste of the iced coffee on your tongue. Agatha’s eyes darkened at the sight; using one hand to brush your hair behind your shoulders while the other remained glued to your jaw, fingers brushing lightly against your skin.

“Good girl,” Agatha quietly praised, running her fingers through your hair, tugging lightly at the loose strands.

As you released the straw from your mouth, Agatha set the cup down, tightening her grip on your hair before capturing your lips in a kiss. Her lips were warm and gentle against your own, but it wasn’t long before she began nipping on your lower lip, biting down harder when you let out a whine. Moving forward, she pressed herself fully against you, while you instinctively wrapped your arms around her waist. Her tongue expertly sought out your own, and it felt like she was trying to get every drop of coffee from your mouth.

Panting, you were the first to break the kiss, tilting your head as Agatha proceeded to pepper persistent kisses down your jawline, each leaving you more breathless than the last.

“Agatha…” you whimpered, the last bit of self control slipping away even as you tried to hold onto it. “We can’t do this again.”

The attorney chuckled softly against your skin, tickling you ever so slightly in the process. She took a moment to look up at you then, with her ever blue eyes hazy with want and perfectly swollen red lips, and you remembered a moment in time where this had been easier. It was almost too easy to forget the pain of the past when she looked at you in that special way; as if she saved those intimate, sweet glances just for you. You used to believe you were able to bring out a different side of her than the rest of the world saw; that you understood who she was at her core.

Having her here now made the whole situation even worse than you previously remembered. It complicated things, and if there was one thing you hated more than anything, it was unnecessary complications. You found it difficult to remember the seemingly obvious reasons why you left her all those years ago when she was standing within your reach; the light that once dimmed in her eyes was once again ablaze. Gone were the demons of the past, in its place was the woman you had once fallen in love with.

Unfortunately, you were snapped out of your thoughts as you heard chatter from the hallway; your colleagues had arrived for the day. Agatha’s head tilted at the sound, and the moment was broken as she took a step back.

Clearing her throat, she folded her arms across her chest. “I was hoping you had given more thought to dropping the case, that’s why I dropped by.”

Annoyance took over any feelings of longing that had been threatening to emerge, and you frowned. “You do realize that this could be perceived as intimidation, right? That on top of trespassing could mean you potentially lose any upper hand in this trial that you believe you possess.”

Agatha fully cackled, which only served to enrage you further. She picked up a few files that she must have previously set on the desk. “You always were so full of pride and ambition, dear. I’m not surprised to see it still has a hand in clouding your judgment. It’s a pity. I always thought you had a lot of potential.”

Flabbergasted, you shook your head. You should have known better. Only Agatha would be capable of attempting to manipulate you over your shared past to better serve her motive. Shoving past her, you finally opened the blinds to your office, the once sunny morning replaced with dark gray skies as rain furiously poured down. As you turned around to tell Agatha to get out, you were unsurprised to find she was already gone. Typical.

Settling down at your desk, you opened your laptop and started going through your checklist for the day when you noticed something on the edge of your desk; a file folder. You quickly realized Agatha must have left it behind by accident, which was strange; it wasn’t like her to do something like that. It was unclear what drove you to opening the file, but looking back you’d blame it on your own morbid curiosity. Inside there were over a dozen pages of what appeared to be hospital records for two people, one being Wanda Maximoff.

As you settled in to read, your eyes drifted to the neglected iced coffee. A part of you wanted to throw it away, but the caffeine driven side of your brain led you to grab it. After all, it would be a shame to let it go to waste.

Flipping the page over as you sipped, you paused as you actually tasted the coffee for the first time without distraction.

This is your exact coffee order. Iced coffee, extra ice, one pump of vanilla and a splash of oatmilk. After all of these years she still remembered, remembered it perfectly.

You weren’t sure why you hated that as much as you did, but it burns in your mind as you keep reading and drinking, trying to wash her taste out of your mouth.

#agatha harkness #agatha harkness x reader #marvel au #wandavision au #agatha harkness fanfiction #agatha all along

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teabutmakeitazure · 2 years

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Closing Shift

>Yan! Demon! Childe x Fem! Reader

(Modern au and supernatural au mixed together)

Warnings: borderline harassment (?), a little blood, suggestive jokes, horrifying murders (not described in detail), mentions of cults

Word count: 6.2k

The odd regular isn't who you think he is.

Part 2

ﾟ⁠.⁠*⁠･⁠｡ﾟﾟ⁠.⁠*⁠･⁠｡ﾟﾟ⁠.⁠*⁠･⁠｡ﾟﾟ⁠.⁠*⁠･⁠｡ﾟﾟ⁠.⁠*⁠･⁠｡ﾟﾟ⁠.⁠*⁠･⁠｡ﾟﾟ⁠.⁠*⁠･⁠｡ﾟﾟ⁠.⁠*⁠･⁠｡ﾟ

Higher education is hard. It kicks your ass even harder when you’re from a humble background. A majority of your classmates enjoy the freedom of financial stability when you have to work two jobs with your studies. It sucks, but you were born into the family you were, which is something you can’t change. It’s best to not complain and just work around it.

Besides, you’re smart, so you still get a pretty decent GPA and end up maintaining your scholarship. Despite all that and trusting your mind to not betray you before midterms, you can’t help but anxiously glance at the clock again and again. The closing shift in the café is as easy as it is agonising. The lack of patrons means less work, but sometimes the occasional customer who stays past closing time comes in.

Being the person you are, you’d like to be done on time so that you can sleep early and wake up early to study. However, some ginger haired idiot just came in exactly 10 minutes before your shift ends. It's not even the first time he's done this. He comes in at this same exact time every damn day and has been doing so for the past few months. You're absolutely seething with rage everytime he walks in, bell chiming as a smile makes way on his face while he sings your name. You found it peculiar at first but now it's annoying.

He must be some kind of working man who stays late in his office building. Why else would he be here at this hour? That too in those formal clothes with his tie hanging loose. It's honestly awkward when he's the only patron inside. Sometimes he makes nice conversation. Most times he prefers to sit at a distance, mostly quiet just to end up chatting with you a little before he leaves.Those lifeless blue eyes often glance over at you as you sit behind the counter staring at your laptop.

The first time you saw them up close was the first time you got chills from making eye contact with someone. It creeped you out but you never questioned it. Corporate office workers all have their souls sucked out. He should've chosen a better career.

Even now as he sits with his coffee, you can't help but feel his eyes on you again and again. The clock shows 11:06 and you're just waiting for him to leave so that you can as well. It doesn't help that his phone is in one hand, scrolling despite outright staring at you. Though he's a regular, you never asked his name. You aren't fond of the idea of getting too chummy with strangers, let alone men.

Still, his staring isn't malicious. It's kind of like an introverted person looking at someone from a distance, waiting for the right time to strike up conversation. So when you catch him looking at you again, you sigh and resign to boredom. It's not that he's ever said anything bad to you, so why not?

"Is there something wrong?"

He startles a little at your question, your voice slightly resonating through the empty café. He's seated a bit away from the counter so you saw his shoulders tense for a moment before his head turned to look at you.

"You keep glancing here." You smile at his silence, "I figured something might be the matter."

Leaning back into his seat, he casually eyes you with a grin. "Sorry, it's just that I like to keep an eye on my surroundings.”

“Surroundings, sure.” With a click of your tongue, you turn off your laptop. He’s probably almost done with his coffee by now. It’s best to have everything packed so that you’re out the door quicker.

“Hey, you never know. The city is dangerous at night.”

“You’re a man. I’m sure the least of your worries is getting mugged, not that it’s probable since this is a pretty safe city.”

He shakes his head, “Not dangerous for me, but for you.”

You had to do a double take at his statement. He’s worried about you? The city is buzzing with life till two in the morning in the summer. Plus there is a police station just two buildings away. The main reason you accepted this job was because it’s safe and honestly, you’ve never had a weird customer yet.

“Are you a student?”

You raise a brow at his question but decide to humour him anyway. “Yes. I am. Not a highschool student though. However, I will still report you if you ask me for my number for a cheap ‘modelling’ recruitment.”

The ginger head bursts into laughter at your straightforwardness. Picking up his cup, he walks over to the counter as he smiles appreciatively.

“I’m no recruiter, but I do hope to be a friend. My name's Childe by the way. You never asked so…"

"Really?" You give him a weird look as you bill him for the coffee. "Your parents birthed a boy and decided to name him Childe?"

"It's not my real name, if that helps."

You scoff as you close up the register for the day. Checking the lock of the back door, you find Childe nowhere to be seen when you come out of the employee room. He probably left. Anyone tired after a long day of work would want to go home as fast as possible. Swiping your ID at the scanner, you lock the main door after switching the sign to ‘closed’. The cleaning has already been taken care of so you merrily get on your way just to see Childe with his hand in his pocket, the other one leisurely scrolling his phone, leaning against a nearby wall.

You hug your bag closer to yourself and pretend to not notice him as you walk by. He, however, does notice and quickly jogs up to you. To the people passing by, he probably looks like the average person trying to catch up to a friend.

“Hi again.” He pockets his phone as he walks beside you. Albeit at a distance, his eyes are still trained on you as you reply with a meek hello. “Can I walk you to the station? I realise that you’d rather not let me walk you home since we don’t know each other much.”

You’re just realising this now but he never brings a bag with him. He looks like an office worker so why doesn’t he have a bag with him?

“[Name]?”

“Oh, uh sure. It’s a few blocks away. I live in the campus dorms, so you can’t walk me home even if I wanted.”

There’s an odd chill in the air. Was it always this chilly this time of year? Maybe it’s just the sea breeze.

“You know,” he says, “there’s a looot of creepy stuff going on here. Remember that time I showed you an article on that missing guy?”

“I remember not being able to sleep after that, yes.”

“Haha, yeah. Well, they just found his body.”

You stop abruptly in your tracks, the ginger head soon following as well. Taking a step back, concern spreads over your expression as you nervously gulp. “Look, Childe. I don’t know you well but you seemed like a fun guy up until now. If you’re going to creep me out at almost midnight, I’ll walk home by myself.”

An older passerby slows down as he watches you look at Childe in apprehension. Eyeing the young man with caution, he stops a few feet behind you in case the scene gets bad. Childe, however, is quick to laugh it off and apologise, prompting the man to continue on his way when you become relaxed.

“Sorry it’s just that I’m really into this stuff.”

“Seems like it.” You continue walking under the streetlights, peaking at Childe now and then. He doesn’t seem bad to you honestly. Besides his supposed penchant for saying some creepy stuff and having the creepiest conversation topics, he’s not bad. He never even makes a mess in the café so maybe you’re biassed because of that too.

“Hey, [Name]?”

“Yeah? It better not be something creepy.”

“No no. I’ve learnt my lesson. No creepy conversations with girls. Anyway, if it’s not too much trouble… could we exchange contacts?”

“Before that, tell me something. Do you work somewhere? What’s with the office getup but no work bag? And why do you always come in before closing time? What’s up with always ordering coffee? There’s such a nice menu! Try something new for a change!”

“...Is this an interrogation?”

“You’re asking to be friends, right? Well, answer me.” Twirling your finger, you give him a sly smile as he slows down in contemplation. After a few moments of getting stared at by nearby people for walking so damn slow, he finally speaks.

“I work a nine to five in an office as a data manager, but I have to do overtime to make ends meet since I’m still in student debt. I live near the café, so I usually drop my stuff at home, relax for a bit then come back for coffee. There’s a reason I always order coffee though.”

He catches speed. Now walking at the normal pace, he catches up to you. “I just graduated so this is my first job. I’m still used to drinking coffee at late night hours. It helps me sleep.”

“Wait, how old are you?”

“I’m twenty one!”

The smile looks cute on him. Wait, no. Kill that thought! Murder it in cold blood!

“You must’ve graduated early. The normal age for graduates is twenty two or twenty three.”

“I skipped two grades in middle school.”

“Right.”

A few minutes of silence pass till he starts talking again. He asks you about your degree, what courses you’re taking for them and when you’re expected to graduate. When he drops you off at the subway station, you’re quick to thank him, even going as far as to exchange numbers. There’s something about his spontaneity that you find charming. As you enter the train after he’s gone, you can’t help but feel the temperature get slightly warmer than before. Maybe it’s just your imagination.

“Hey there!”

You’re greeted with the voice of a cheerful Childe when you’re mopping the floors. One look at the clock is all it takes for you to grunt in annoyance.

“It’s 10: 54 pm! Ugh, just six more minutes late and I would’ve been able to close.”

“Actually…”

“Mhm?”

The mop in your hand is quickly put back in its stand as he stands there awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. Blue eyes look anywhere but you as he continues with a chuckle.

“I was hoping you could just get me a coffee ready to go. Then I’ll walk you to the station… like yesterday.”

You bite the inside of your cheek. Everything was fine yesterday. If he was a creep or just someone looking for a date, he would’ve texted you by now, but he didn't. It’s not like it’s desolate on the streets either. A man even stopped yesterday when he saw you looking apprehensive. There are always people outside so you guess that it’ll be fine.

“Alright. The usual coffee?”

“Yup!”

Soon you’ve handed the coffee to Childe, double checked the back door lock, put the cleaning equipment back in its place, swiped your ID on the scanner and locked the main door after turning the sign to ‘closed’. There’s the same temperature drop from yesterday but with the breeze that just blew, you’re starting to think it’s the sea breeze blowing.

“Shall we?”

You nod at the question, finding it oddly human to see him drink something as mundane as coffee. Honestly with how dead his eyes look he might as well not be human and you’d believe it.

“You should really try the milkshakes, Childe.”

He chuckles, an amused smile now plastered on his face. “I would but then all that gym would go to waste.”

“Once or twice wouldn’t hurt.”

With his index finger and thumb holding his chin, he feigns a contemplative expression. “I guess so.”

Silence fills the air around you both now. However, it’s gone as quick as it came as Childe fills the conversation with lively chatter and jokes. The walk with him feels very short and you almost look at the station with annoyance for cutting the conversation with him.

Just like last time, you brush off the lack of chill around you when Childe leaves. Maybe you should bring a jacket tomorrow.

Concerned eyes skim over the headline as a shiver runs down your spine. Five men had gone missing in these past two weeks, all of whom were found dead yesterday with their bodies mutilated beyond recognition. What’s worse is that two of those men you recognise as patrons who frequented the shop.

Safe to say, you’re a little scared.

Whatever is happening is only targeting men, so you should be safe. However, that is a big, fat ‘should’ and honestly, you would rather not take any risks. Reading the rest of the article just makes you feel worse. They were found dead in a building just a block away from this café.

It's not like the feeling leaves you in your dorm either. There's this nagging feeling that you aren't alone. For all you care, it could just be the lack of a roommate. Living alone does sometimes make you paranoid.

Your peripheral vision shows movement, and you freeze at the spot. It’s when a familiar voice calls out to you that your muscles relax.

‘It’s just Childe,’ you tell yourself. There’s no need to be so worked up. Despite your best efforts to appear normal, his lifeless eyes don’t miss the way your hands slightly shake when you type out his order or how your laptop displays the article of the missing men.

“Hey, can you get it ready to go? I’ll drink it as I walk you to the station.”

Midterms have ended and winter vacation is in full swing. Unfortunately for you, that also means having to work in full swing instead of visiting your parents. Your eyes skim over the second article of the month about missing men found dead, feeling a little relieved when you get a notification from Childe.

Most of the messages he sends are funny cat videos or random funny animal images from the internet. It’s rare to have a conversation on text since you both see each other everyday, so the both of you settle on sending each other stuff like that.

The bell chimes, signalling that someone had entered the café, and you immediately get up to do your job. Now usually, you would right away go to take their order but looking at the guy who just walked in, you’re tempted to tell him that you’re closed.

First of all, he clearly looks drunk with the way he's wobbling on his feet. Second, his smile is outright creepy. You don’t feel safe even breathing the same air as him.

“Hiya there, cute little coffee maker.”

Gross. You push back any comments, instead trying to do your job. “What can I get for you sir?”

He hums, gruff voice a little too revealing of his age, as his smile widens. With slurred words, he boldly asks for your number, and you mentally gag.

“I’m sorry sir, but I can only give you what’s on the menu. Here,” you push the pamphlet towards him from your side of the counter. “Have a look.”

“Are you on the menu?”

“Only food and drink are available, sir.”

He groans. “You should put yourself there. I’m sure a lot would come running to this café if you were on the menu. I know I would, haha.”

With a sigh, you head for the phone near the employee’s room door. Glancing back at him once, you start dialling the police just to freeze with your finger hardly an inch away from the call button when a voice all too familiar to you calls out at a time earlier than it usually does.

“Hi [Name]!”

Relief washes over you as you turn around, the sight of those dead blue eyes bringing nothing but an assurance of safety. The unwanted customer doesn’t budge, simply staring at you intently with a gaze so dirty not even bleach could cleanse it.

You point to the drunkard standing on the counter. Childe thankfully catches on quickly and makes up a lie about being from the food and drink authority. He says he’s here for a quality check and threatens to arrest the man if he doesn’t leave.

The both of you share a laugh when the man says he’ll be back for the ‘cute little barista’. You’re certain he won’t remember anything after his hangover, so why bother?

That night, when Childe walked you to the station, you shivered the entire way there. Your mind forgot to realise that the additional chill in the air left with him, too busy smiling at the jokes he made.

Starting off the new year with finding out that the drunk man who harassed you is dead isn’t ideal. Plus, saying that you’re scared is an understatement.

You’re absolutely terrified.

Most of the men in these killings have been to this café. Additionally, most of them have talked to you. It honestly feels like a curse or some sick coincidence and it’s scaring you. The dead bodies appear anywhere in the city now, in a random abandoned place or dark alleyways, anywhere.

It's even gotten to the point that going to your dorm feels scary. There's still the nagging feeling of being watched, but no one's there except for you. You even had the security guard check for hidden cameras but there was nothing. Having to always come across articles of those killing sprees just made you stop using social media at your dorm, opting to gather information while at your jobs.

You’re not one to believe in the supernatural but after reading so many articles and looking up resources on it yourself, you’re starting to believe it's some kind of cult. There could be some twisted killer out there, but if there is, why haven’t the police found evidence yet?

They haven’t even found evidence that a human is doing all this, which is very fishy considering that this is the 21st century. They have all the latest technologies at their disposal so not being able to find evidence of those being a human’s doing, it’s food for public controversy.

Factoring in all of that, you’ve already handed in your resignation to the manager and have only three more nights to work till you can officially leave.

You just hope all this stops soon.

Tonight, Childe doesn’t order a coffee, simply giving you a sad smile as he watches you lock the main door. As expected, a cold breeze flows and you rub your hands together to warm up. Childe’s lifeless eyes carefully watch your attempts at battling the temperature drop, a carefree smile back on his face within seconds as he walks you through the empty winter streets.

Two more nights. They aren’t worth it. You would rather lose a paycheck than deal with that. The bell chimed and you heard someone come in and order a black coffee, even glancing at the figure sitting on a table in the corner but not fully looking because you were too busy mopping the employee room.

Guess what? When you’re done with the coffee, no one is there and there’s a note on the counter that says, “Thanks for looking at me. I’ll make sure your eyes stay preserved.”

You don’t recognise the handwriting. Heck, you don’t even know who that was! Now, you’re struggling to lock the main door as tears fill your eyes, hardly getting any air in your lungs as your ears ring.

This has to be a joke.

‘Please God. Please let this be a prank.’

You didn’t even bother to check the time, immediately grabbing your belongings and sprinting out. However, a voice calling your name has you petrified, the ringing in your ears getting louder and louder as the silhouette of a taller man approaches on the lonesome, foggy winter street.

Without even thinking, you drop to the ground, hands covering your ears as you ask God to save you. Salvation comes in the form of said man dropping a heavy coat onto your shoulders as his calloused hand pets your head. You look up, carefully testing the waters. Your eyes widen in relief as more tears spill out at the sight of Childe’s worried gaze.

Before your mind can even notice the change, the red irises become blue as you blink away the tears.

The oversized winter coat covers your form till your knees when you stand up, and you find yourself melting in its warmth and Childe’s embrace as you let out the remnants of your fear.

“Hey hey. It’s okay. You’re safe here. Deep breaths, [Name]. Deep breaths.”

When you’ve finally returned to your senses, you glance at Childe’s black coat, fisting it as you answer his question of what happened.

He soon explains that he saw a teenager run out of the café. The both of you connect the dots and realise that it’s just a sick prank. Maybe your prayer was heard after all. On the way back, you don’t question why it feels colder than it was when you first left the café. You don’t even question why Childe’s teeth look whiter, canines a little too prominent for comfort.

“I’m telling you, [Name]. All the victims are middle aged men. I’m not even 25! I’m safe! Plus, some of them were found to have ties to human trafficking gangs. I’m a respectable member of society so I’m safe.”

You appreciate the sentiment, you really do, but seeing that all the victims are men, you’re worried about Childe. After all, he frequents this café too.

“I’m not convinced. Go home!”

“Nuh uh.”

He crosses his arms with a pout, hair falling into his eyes due to the movement. A hand brushes those strands away and you find yourself somewhat enchanted by the sight. His eyes are beautiful, that much is true, but why do you find yourself unable to look away from his face these days?

“There’s just five minutes left anyway. Why don’t you close early? It wouldn’t make a difference.”

You give in with a sigh.

With a ding, you close up the register, double check the back door’s lock, grab your belongings and swipe your ID. As you lock the main door, you give the café one last look. You had a good time here. Sure, you were alone for the shift, but it was peaceful. Now when classes start again, you won’t have to rush here at night.

The lock clicks into place, and you stuff your hands into your coat pockets. Today, you’re wearing that oversized coat Childe gave you the other day. He said something about a late new year’s gift, but you only accepted it because it’s warm. Totally not because it smells like him.

It’s colder today, you note. Your breath leaves your mouth in puffs, synonymous to the fog, but one glance at Childe in the awkward silence confirms that you’re the only one this cold. The cold and desolate street is empty, save for a few people going about. The streets are always lonelier in winter.

You’re the first to break the silence. “I hope whatever is going on is solved soon.”

“I hope so too.”

“What do you think it is? You know, people have hypothesised that it’s some kind of cult or demon on the loose.”

Childe hums, formulating a reply in his head. “From what I know, there isn’t any evidence of a person doing all this. Maybe the bodies get dumped in those places? That would explain why there’s no signs of the killing.”

“We don’t even have CCTV footage to confirm that they were dumped. They just appear there.”

He doesn’t give a reply and instead slowly creeps his hand towards yours. Upon feeling his finger nudge yours, you welcome the action. Childe’s slender fingers slowly take a hold of your own and now, the two of you hold hands as you walk. A comfortable warmth radiates from his, chasing away the chill from your gloveless fingers.

“Everything will work out,” he reassures you. “I hope you’re not uncomfortable.”

“Not at all.”

A small smile is on your face now, and Childe is absolutely mesmerised by it. He licks his lips at the way he can feel your blood inside the blood vessels of your hand. Just the thought of your heart makes him excited. Oh how he longs to feel your heartbeat through the softness of your chest.

“I think I should tell you this, [Name].”

You blink up at him innocently, slowing down in his lead.

“Well,” he clears his throat, suddenly a little nervous. “My birth name is Ajax. I thought… well, you should know that.”

The nervousness widens your smile and you tenderly brush your thumb across his knuckles.

“It’s a wonderful name. I don’t really know why you didn’t tell me when we first met, but I won’t question it. Is it okay if I start calling you Ajax now?”

He perks up, “Of course!”

You laugh at his sweetness. The two of you continue walking to the station, enjoying the comfortable silence. However, when the station comes into view, you feel something sharp press on the backside of the palm Ajax is holding. You give your held together hands a questioning look just to see nothing. It was probably your imagination.

With how he told you his real name yesterday, you were kind of expecting this. Apparently, he didn’t do overtime today and is practically begging you to come meet him for dinner. You don’t think you’re comfortable with having dinner with him yet. What if he doesn’t like the way you eat? Or worse… it gets so awkward that he regrets bringing you out?

After much pleading, he settles for taking you out for hot chocolate from downtown. The both of you decided to meet up at the station, but you found him already there when you got off. As the two of you exit out to the street, you can’t help but find it colder than it was outside your dorm building. Ajax shrugs off the concern saying that it’s more open out here, thus the heavy fog as well. You don’t dwell on it.

When you both enter the shop, you’re instantly hit with the smell of warm coco.

“Here.” Ajax passes you a menu as you sit down. “You can get anything. It’s on me,” he smiles.

“Okay first of all, you’re too darn sweet for your own good. Second, I can pay for myself thank you very much!”

An offended look appears on Ajax’s face. “Absolutely not! As your mate, it is my responsibility to take care of you and pay for you. What good am I if I can’t do that?”

You sputter out a laugh, finding his declaration to be funny. “Mate? What’re you, Australian?”

Ajax pales at the word being pointed out, but soon relaxes when you continue laughing.

“How about this Ajax, You can pay but for only this time! Next time, I’ll pay for myself.”

He grumbles out a ‘fine’, even protesting when you order a simple hot cocoa which was followed by you making fun of him for ordering coffee again. The evening goes well, and the two of you later wander around the city aimlessly in the foggy winter night.

That is when Ajax asks you a peculiar question.

“Have you ever heard of the name ‘Tartaglia’?”

You stop in your tracks, looking to your right to see him staring at you with an emotionless gaze.

“I can’t say I have. Why do you ask?”

“No reason.”

You wait for him to change his mind, but he just resumes walking. Grabbing his coat from the back, you make him stop. “Hey! Don’t leave me curious! Is it something important?”

He simply ruffles his hair, closing one eye as he pouts childishly. “It’s nothing important, just something I found in the library. But if you want to see, you’ll have to stop by my place.”

Honestly, he looks so cute right now you could explode.

“Fine,” you agree. You’ve known him for so long. Stopping by his place for a little while should be fine. Plus, it’s been almost a week since those gruesome killings last popped up. You’re not scared anymore, especially since the feeling of being watched inside your dorm room has also disappeared. There's no reason to be scared, not when you have someone as sweet as Ajax.

The two of you waddle around without a purpose for a while longer till you decide to drop by his apartment for a little while. You honestly didn’t know what you were expecting. It looks like a normal apartment. A tidy open kitchen, a somewhat messy living room with a little balcony, a bathroom right next to the little storeroom and a bedroom.

You leave your - more like Ajax’s - coat hanging on the coat rack and awkwardly sit on a sofa in the living room. After denying a glass of water, you follow Ajax to the entrance of his bedroom as he goes to fetch a book. You can see him rummaging inside his closet from where you're standing.

“The name I asked you about was in this book I found in the library. It’s related to some kind of cult and- ah, where did I put it.”

Awkwardly shifting your weight from one foot to the other, you meekly ask him if he accidentally misplaced it. Ajax replies with a simple shrug and walks past you to the living room. A photo on his nightstand catches your attention but before you can figure out what it is, you’re pushed inside the room.

“Hey! Come on,” you grumble, “I was standing there.”

Looking behind only causes dread to settle in your stomach. Ajax stands in front of the now closed bedroom door. The hand behind his back clicks the lock into place and the lights are suddenly turned off.

“Ajax…?”

He doesn’t move.

“Hey, come on. This isn’t funny.”

Your voice comes out a lot shakier than you would like, the darkness simply scaring you more. By the time your eyes adjust to the scarce moonlight from the window, the silhouette in front of the door is already reaching for you.

With one simple push of his hand, you stumble backwards and fall onto the bed inelegantly. Before you can cry out, two calloused hands pin your wrists to the mattress, and your thrashing legs are subdued by his knees.

“Ajax, what’s going on!?”

Your answer comes in the form of him leaning down, the moonlight falling onto his eyes to show that they’re red, not blue. Nails that are sharp and pointy like claws dig into your wrists and you hear yourself crying out in pain.

“Please,” you exclaim. “What’s gotten into you!”

When Ajax opens his mouth, you notice that his canines are a little too visible to be human while his teeth unnaturally sparkle under the little lighting.

“I’m simply tired of playing nice.”

“Let me go! What have I ever… huh?”

You tense when you feel him lick a stripe up your neck right where your carotid artery is and lick one down where your jugular vein would be. As he stays above you, his mouth moves to your visible collarbone, nose burying itself in the skin as he takes in your scent.

You’re too scared to move, afraid that even the slightest movement would cause those claws to tear into your skin.

“You smell so nice. I suppose it was a wise decision on my part to give you my jacket. Having my scent on you should be a good repellant.”

Nothing makes sense to you. Why in the world is Ajax holding you down on the bed, and why the hell does he keep smelling you? Is he even human?

“I notice you’ve stopped struggling,” he points out. He sits on your thighs now, hands resting on your stomach, but you can’t move your arms. They feel like they’re held together by something. “That's good actually. You should save your strength considering that you have a lot of screaming to do later.”

The tone of his voice sends a shiver down your spine, and you can’t help it when a few tears escape your eyes. Ajax is quick to lick them away while you lay absolutely petrified underneath him. Next, he grabs your face tenderly, leaning in so much that your breaths intermingle.

With the way the moonlight falls on his scarlet eyes, you can’t look away. Auburn eyelashes frame those crimson hues as a twinge of blue bleeds into them all the while the messy hair is accentuating the chaos that swirls within.

“Please,” you manage to choke out. “Don’t hurt me. You don’t have to do this, Ajax.”

The ginger hovering above you frowns at your pleading. He can smell the fear in your breath, and he’s a little proud of it but also a bit offended.

“You wound me, [Name]. You’re my mate. I could never hurt you, promise! Okay, maybe I would if you misbehave but that’s besides the point.”

His lips now brush your ear as he licks a stripe behind your earlobe, creating more shivers in your body. “After all, you’re a good little thing. I know you wouldn’t dare disobey.”

You try pleading with him once more. “I swear on my life Ajax. If… if you let me go, I won’t tell anyone about this. Please.”

He’s back to sitting on your thighs now, a thoughtful expression on his face. Something seems to click because instead of giving a reply, he’s drawing blood from his right index finger with his other hand using nails that clearly look like claws. Ajax’s left hand taps on your lips, the amused hum that bubbles from his throat completely filling the silence.

“Open up~”

You refuse, even going as far as becoming even more tightlipped. The reaction angers him, for he grabs your face and pries his thumb into your mouth. Thrashing your legs doesn’t do anything either because he’s too damn heavy.

“[Name], my dear. I would suggest being good and opening up before you end up like those men on the news.”

Wait… what?

“Aw, why are you crying? Don’t believe me? Do you want a demonstration?”

“You’re awful!” You’re sobbing now as he stares down at you. “How could you do such a- mph!”

Ajax takes the chance and stuffs the finger into your mouth. If the timing couldn’t be more inconvenient, your gag reflex starts acting up because of how deep he shoved it in. He calmly instructs you to obediently swallow while he presses the bleeding finger down on your tongue.

The most you taste is your own saliva but it’s followed by a very unpleasant fuzziness in your head. You feel like you’re floating on a cloud, mind foggy and breathing heavy as a pleasurable tingle travels from your spine to every cell of your body. A sharp sting on your left hand’s ring finger is what brings you back after a few moments.

Ajax brings the bleeding finger to your line of sight which confirms that your hands are free. However, you can’t move them. You can’t move anything. Your entire body feels numb.

Any blood that trickles from the wound is licked up by him. By the time it stops bleeding, a bite mark is prominent, one in the shape of a ring.

“A blood bond is more romantic, don’t you think?”

You will yourself to speak but your tongue feels like lead in your mouth.

“Don’t worry. It’ll only last for a few moments. It’s a good way to temporarily subdue misbehaving humans like you, right?”

You try your best to glare at him, but all that you’re able to manage is a half-angry stare.

“Scary~ You do realise you’re glaring at me? Oh wait, I never told you who I am.”

“I’m guessing that you’re not human,” you whisper.

The red eyed fiend sitting on top of you smirks at your words. “Took you long enough. You were so wary of me, yet you never questioned the obvious. I’ll give you a hint. I’m kind of a bad guy but not entirely ‘evil’ if that’s any consolation. I only took care of all those men because I didn’t like them being around you for even a second.”

He manoeuvres your body to sit you up in front of the headboard. Now, you start feeling like you’re in control, but the feeling doesn’t help because he simply binds your wrists again.

“For our first date, why don’t we play a game?”

You grumble at that. “What do you want from me?”

“I’ll answer your questions later,” he waves off. “Let’s play a game of getting to know me better! First question. What do you think I am? The hint is that I can control water and that my name is Tartaglia. I also have a liking for pretty things like you. Give me the right answer, and I ask another question. Wrong answer, and I test just how good that gag reflex of yours is.”

#genshin impact x reader #yandere genshin impact #yandere genshin impact x reader #childe x reader #genshin impact #genshin impact imagines #yandere x reader #yandere genshin x reader #yandere childe #yandere childe x reader #tartaglia x reader #yandere tartaglia #yandere tartaglia x reader #genshin x reader #genshin x you

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ponett · 1 year

Note

with the fallout of bandai namco's idiotic "it's up to interpretation" bs, do you think that it's possible to enjoy queer media made in a corporate environment in addition to independent works? is it even worthwhile to attempt making queer media in a corporate environment? i find it special how well the g-witch production team managed to tell the story they wanted even with the challenges and pressures they faced, but i have to admit that independent works like slarpg are always going to more completely tell queer stories. as someone who has resonated with both slarpg and g-witch, i was curious to know your perspective.

i'm probably less cynical about this than a lot of my peers are - not that i can blame anyone for feeling cynical about queer rep from corporate-owned media. (we've been through so many First Ever Gay Disney Characters at this point, and lord knows blizzard loves to tease that another overwatch character might be gay every year or so as a PR move.) unfortunately it's just extremely hard to get something like a full season of an animated series funded and produced independently, so the artists looking to enter these fields and pour their hearts and souls into meaningful queer stories as a full-time job don't have many options

going indie gives you theoretically endless creative freedom to tell your stories without corporate censorship, but it's also a massive gamble. only an extreme minority of indie creatives in any medium are actually able to make a living. the fact that i came out the other side of slarpg's development with enough money that i can keep being a full-time indie instead of being in massive debt makes me one of the lucky ones. and even with my modest success, i sure as hell don't have the money to hire a whole team, which limits the scope of what i can make. so i can't turn my nose up at the queer people writing disney channel cartoons where they can't say the word "gay" out loud. they have health insurance, i don't. for most people, what i do is simply not an option

with the corporate-produced Queer Stories i enjoy, i'm often able to squint and see what the creatives were trying to do, wishing that they could have done more while understanding that they probably had to fight tooth and nail for what's there

in the realm of children's animation in particular, i'm thankful that the people working at these studios ARE fighting for more, because it means that kids today have so many more positive queer stories to relate with. i didn't have a single gay character i felt i could relate to until i read scott pilgrim at age 16 and saw wallace wells. before that, i felt so alone in the world. i denied who i was for years because it felt like there would be no place for me. i didn't know anyone openly gay in real life, growing up in the south, and in fiction gay people either existed as the butt of a joke or not at all. the fact that queer kids are now able to see people like themselves in so many shows means something, even if we still have a long way to go and the big studios continue to be a major obstacle

on the subject of g-witch, i'm honestly unfazed by the statement from bandai-namco. i guess i wish they could've let suletta and miorine kiss, but like... the text of the show is extremely blunt about them being a couple by the end. it's not up for debate. and it's not like a gundam series having a meaningful story in spite of the wishes of the toy-producing overlords is anything new, this is just our latest example

all that being said, i do think people should branch out more and explore more weird indie shit if they want more wholeheartedly, openly queer stories. people gotta suck it up and embrace more outsider art instead of only valuing things with studio-level production values. start looking at ren'py visual novels, rpg maker games, obscure webcomics, zines drawn in sharpie, artists on bandcamp who aren't signed to a label, all that jazz. maybe part of the reason why i'm not more fazed by the state of affairs with corporate-funded fiction is that i'm constantly surrounded by furry artists who are telling their own little gay stories

#tamamayfox #ask

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peachy-skies-writings · 28 days

Text

Found - Sebastian (SDV) x Reader

You can find on ao3 here.

Summary:

Sebastian x f!Reader where you reminisce about each of the other heart events during the 10-heart event. I suck at writing summaries. But it's cute and it's fluffy and it's here.

----

A/N : So I did a thing. I haven't really written in a while but I just kinda got annoyed that everything is smut on here and on ao3 so I just decided fuck it I'm going to write some fluff.

Might do some more. I won't be taking requests for the time being . I have a full-time job and uni so for now, no requests but I might be open in the future.

Please let me know what you think? I haven't written in a while so any feedback is great :)

Not proofread!

----

To think that it had been less than a year since you had moved from Zuzu City to a little farmhouse in the middle of nowhere had your head spinning. An impulse decision made after the death of your grandfather that could have gone either way. Bile rises in your throat as you think of the anxiety you held in your chest back then.

The uncertainty. The risk. The excitement.

Up until recently, leaving behind Joja Corp and Zuzu City was still something you thought that you’d grow to regret. Farming was a tough life - your knees bruised, your back aching, and your fingers sore from the hard graft. The people of Pelican Town seemed to eye you as you walked into the town with an air of suspicion. After all, who would leave their well-paid corporate job in the big city to come work on their dead grandfather’s run down farm?

Those eyes on you made you feel that your choice was a mistake. Every crop that didn’t grow, every seed stolen by a bird, every fruit or vegetable that looked just a little bit wonky was confirmation enough that you were not meant for this.

The only person who seemed to believe in you was Robin, the local carpenter. You’d stop by occasionally and pass along excess wood that you’d collected while tidying up the overgrown farm. She always greeted you with a warm smile and asked how you were getting along. At first, you thought it was just out of being polite but, as you grew to know her, you realized she took a genuine interest in your work. You met her family too - Demetrius, her husband, and her children, Maru and Sebastian.

Sebastian.

You smiled thinking of him, looking to the man on your right. There he was leaning against his motorcycle and taking a drag from a cigarette. The smell of smoke pulling you into another reverie.

—

The sun was starting to set one day in the early spring and you were making your way to Robin’s house to drop off some extra wood. As you got to the mountains, you saw him standing there, looking out into the flowing river, smoking and paying no attention to the world around him. Almost lost in thought.

You sighed. Sebastian was an enigma to you. He was so closed off. Attractive as hell but you just couldn’t get much out of him. He spent most of his time in his room. You didn’t think you’d ever get the chance to actually meet him.

“Mom’s out at exercise class.”

Turning your attention back to the house you go to open the door, only to find it’s locked.

“Shit.” you exhaled.

You jump upon hearing Sebastian’s voice behind you, dropping the few logs you had.

“Oh, sorry…” He mumbled.

“No need, I’m just a little jumpy with it starting to get dark. Sorry for throwing logs at you.” You excused him, as you picked up the logs at his feet, and placed them beside the door for Robin.

“It’s okay.”

You smiled at his forgiveness and looked at him, gawking at him for probably longer than you should. He was relatively tall, with deep brown eyes that felt like they were looking into your soul. His hair, dyed black, seemed to always be in his face, as if he was trying to hide from the world. You wonder what colour he is naturally - is he ginger like his mother? You haphazardly guessed yes, with the splatter of faint freckles over his nose. What a cute nose, he looked-

“Um… you’re standing in front of the door and I need to get into my house. I have a WoW raid organised.”

You were snapped out of your staring.

“Oh shit, yeah sorry!” You stepped aside, mentally punching yourself for being so caught up. You could have blamed it on how tired you were from planting crops all day - yeah, that was plausible.

He laughed, a sound you didn’t think you’d heard from him before. It was a small one, close to a giggle, like he was embarrassed. Oh, he definitely caught you staring. He walked towards the door, hand on the doorknob. The breeze sent a waft of tobacco along your way with the undeniable smell of bergamot and green tea as he passed you. It was intoxicating.

“Your raid awaits, goodsir. I’ll take my leave.” You decidedly laughed along with him, trying to banish away the embarrassment by acting as if you could be a World of Warcraft character.

“Thank you, my lady.” He chuckled as he stepped into the house, watching you walk away as he closed the door behind him.

You smiled the whole way home. Good to know he is up for general silliness, you thought to yourself.

The next time you saw him was a few days later, working on his computer. Tapping away at speeds you’ve never seen someone type at. You had knocked on his bedroom door and heard a disgruntled, “Come in…”

“Hey, sorry to interrupt you. Your mom said you’d be here.” You said quietly, hoping not to intrude on anything.

He looked up for a second and offered you a small smile.

“Oh hey, gimme one sec. I just need to finish something.”

You awkwardly just stand there, holding the frozen tear you’d found in the mine.

You’d come to drop off some quartz that you found in the mine to Robin as she really liked it and wanted some for a project she was working on. When you’d opened your backpack, she noticed the frozen tear underneath the quartz you’d collected.

“Sebastian likes those.” She said, “He’s in his room if you want to show him it. It’s a really pretty one.”

Her eyes looked at the door to the basement, gesturing that it was okay for you to go down. She smiled at you. At the time you had thought nothing of it but, looking back, you’re pretty sure she’d hatched a plan to get the both of you to talk.

“I’m popping to the store, do you want a drink or anything?” She asked.

“No, thanks. I’ll just go see Sebastian and head off.” You said, walking towards his bedroom door.

Sebastian finished what he was doing and began to speak, “Sorry about that, I just needed to finish what I was working on. What’s up?”

“I was just showing your mum what I’d found in the mine and she said you’d probably like to see this.” You said as you pulled the frozen tear out of your backpack.

“Whoa! A frozen tear? These are really cool. I’ve always wanted one but I’ve never got far enough down in the mines to grab one.”

“You can have it.” You blurted out without thinking.

“W-what? Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” You breathed out, “I’m sure.”

“Thanks!” He placed it on his desk as a beep came through the speakers of his PC.

“Ugh… that was an IM from Sam… I guess he wants to hang out now…Ugh, I don’t really feel like going out today.”

Just as you’re about to speak, Robin enters the room.

“Oh hi, Y/N!” She turned to Sebastian, “Sebby, I know you don’t like it when I come in here… but I ran to Abigail at the store and she said she was looking for you.”

He sighed, “Did you tell her I’m working?”

“I did but she said she’d probably stop by anyway.”

With that, Robin left you alone with Sebastian once again.

“Ugh no one takes my job seriously… Does everyone think I’m just surfing the web or playing video games all day?”

Curiosity got the better of you and you asked, “What are you doing?”

“I’m coding, I’m a freelance programmer.” He sighed.

“Oh cool, is that your career goal?”

“I’m trying to save up to move out of here, probably to the city or something. If I’d gone to college, I’d be making six figures by now, I just didn’t want to be a part of the system.” He mumbled, seeming almost embarrassed.

“That’s cool! I understand not wanting to be part of the system, that’s why I left my corporate job.” You beamed at him, and he smiled back, looking at you like you’re the only person on the planet. You could get lost in his eyes for days. Those eyes, he gazed at you like you were the most amazing find in the mine, a priceless diamond. It made your cheeks flush.

“Well, I should get back to work.” He said, snapping himself out of it and breaking the tension. “I need to finish this by tomorrow.”

You nod and leave, waving your goodbye.

—

In the present day, Sebastian is standing looking at the lights of Zuzu City, your former habitat. Swirls of gray smoke dance around him. He looks at you and tilts his head, breaking your train of thought. He’d definitely just caught you staring at him and daydreaming… Again.

“Whatcha thinking about?”

“Oh… just… the first time we played Solarion Chronicles...”

—

A few weeks went by and you were in a steady routine.

The crops were growing and your farm was starting to flourish - and you were wondering why you even questioned yourself in the beginning. Business was booming and you were starting to feel much more comfortable as a farmer. Maybe you could even branch out to animals. Marnie always said you were welcome to train with her if you decided to.

On one late summer afternoon, you had made up your mind. You were going to get chickens.

“Hey Robin!” You smiled as you walked through her front door, “I got some materials for you - I was wondering if you could build me a coop?”

“Sure thing! Here’s the blueprint for your farm, tell me where you want it?”

You pointed to a spot on the blueprint and watched as she made her notes. As you handed over your materials, Robin began to speak, “You’ve been giving a lot of frozen tears to Sebby.”

“Oh - I… I mean nothing by it, I just know he likes them.” You spoke, worried that Robin had guessed that you have a teeny tiny bit of a crush on her son.

“Oh, hey Y/N! Thought I heard you.” You heard Sebastian’s voice coming from his bedroom door. You could have sworn your heart stopped for a moment. He recognised your voice?

“Oh hi, I’m just asking your mom to build a coop for me. I’m getting chickens soon!” You smiled.

“Nice!” He said, before he started to turn away.

Robin coughed.

As if a lightbulb had gone off in Sebastian’s head, he spun back around to you and asked, “Oh yeah um, Sam and I are playing the Solarian Chronicles… we need a third. Do you want to join?”

“I’ve never played before.” You said, looking down. It’s not that you hadn’t wanted to play, you just didn’t know anyone back in Zuzu City that wasn’t too up their own ass to play it.

“I’ll teach you.”

You looked up at him and nodded, worried that if you spoke you’d subject him to only sounds and not words.

After successfully defeating the Necromancer, Sebastian began to pack up the game, with Sam having to run home because of his curfew, you stayed behind alone to help.

As you were picking up the figures from the game and handing them to him, Sebastian smiled at you. “Y’know it took me three or four attempts to beat my first scenario. You did great.”

“Thanks, I had a good teacher.” You giggled back.

You looked up at him and saw his smile grow wider. He stood there, looking proud and like you were the only person in the world again. Your heart skipped a beat for the second time that night.

Yoba, you were a goner.

—

He ruffled his hair at the back nervously and laughed, “Mom really wanted us to get to know each other, huh?”

“She really did.” You giggled back.

There was a comfortable silence for a few moments as you both smiled to yourselves. Sebastian took another drag of his cigarette and blew it into the sky.

“Looks like it’s going to rain.” He thought aloud.

Your mind brought you to another memory.

—

Autumn came and so did the rain. It gave the valley a sort of glow, with the way the sun gently reflected off the wet surfaces. Most people were hidden in their homes.

“Thought I’d find you out here.” You sighed as you made your way to the end of the pier.

“Y/N? I’m surprised to see you out in all this rain.” Sebastian said, surprised, moving his hood to see you better.

You stepped closer to him, allowing him room to speak some more. You’re not sure why but you could feel that there was something else he wanted to say. He didn’t seem to be in the best of moods so you waited patiently for him to open up to you.

“Look at those dark clouds over there. I hope they head this way. Joba, I like this weather. It makes everyone disappear. People make me so anxious.” He mumbled, pulling his hoodie sleeves, further over his hands.

“I get it. I get anxious around people too. It’s why I almost jumped out of my skin when we first met.” You laughed, trying to bring a little humour into the conversation to cheer him up.

“Ah yeah, I remember that.” He laughed with you, before stopping and, in a serious tone, the most serious you have ever heard him, he said, “ I don’t feel anxious around you though.”

You smiled at him, deciding that words weren’t needed. You placed a hand on his shoulder, choosing to ignore the electric feeling you got when you touched him. This wasn’t the time or place.

The clouds Sebastian spoke about a few moments before had made their way over, causing the drizzle to turn into heavy rain.

“We’re going to get soaked. Here,” He gestured towards you, pulling out an umbrella, “there’s room for two.”

That was it for you. Even when he felt bad, he still cared about you and your wellbeing. You were pretty sure you were in love with him.

You stopped by to see him almost every day after that, with it getting to the end of Autumn quicker than you expected. One day he’d even bought you flowers, something you didn’t quite realize held the weight that they did until Sebastian nervously asked if you understood what it meant.

You’d been casually dating since, meeting up as often as you could and stealing glances across the table on the Friday night get together that you had begun to join with Sebastian, Sam and Abigail.

A month later you were making your way to the mines to grab a few more ores to upgrade your tools. Sebastian was sitting outside on his motorbike, ready to ride away.

“Hey! I was just about to head out. Hop on, I want to show you something.”

You furrowed your eyebrows for a second, “Do you have a spare helmet?”

“Oh shit, yeah - in the garage.”

You quickly open the garage door and grab the helmet, placing it on you as you walk back over to the bike.

“Safety first.” You said, knocking on the top of the helmet that sat on your head.

Sebastian shook his head and laughed, “Get on, you weirdo.”

You climbed onto the motorbike and wrapped your arms around Sebastian’s waist, heat rising quickly to your cheeks. You could smell the bergamot and green tea from his aftershave, and you couldn’t help it but to be surrounded by his signature scent, letting it envelop you as you rode into the night.

—

And that’s how you ended up here, staring out into the bright lights of Zuzu City, leaning against his motorcycle.

“Zuzu City looks so small from here. When you live there, it seems huge.” You sigh, pushing yourself off from the bike, walking towards the edge of the cliff.

“Yeah…”

“It gives me a strange and sad feeling looking at it like this. Like I’m just a tiny speck.”

“The city used to draw me in, but… I’m finding myself happier at home in the valley now.” Sebastian said as he walked closer to you.

You turned to look at him and noticed that he was playing with his hands nervously. His gaze was on the floor and you took a step forward inquisitively.

“Sebastian… are you alright?” You asked, concerned.

“Y/N… I don’t usually bring girls to this place… anyone really. In fact, you’re the only one… You, um.. You get what I’m trying to say, don’t you?”

His nervousness was palpable. You could almost hear his heart beating in his chest… or was it yours?

You smiled at him, walking towards him, closing the gap between the two of you, resting your hands on each of his cheeks. Tobacco, bergamot and green tea filled your senses, a scent that had come to mean comfort to you. Home.

“I think I do.”

His arms wrapped around your waist and he pulled you closer to him, eyes glancing briefly at your lips as if waiting for permission. You smiled softly and closed the gap between the both of your lips, giving him a gentle kiss.

To think that it had been less than a year since you had moved from Zuzu City to a little farmhouse in the middle of nowhere on an impulse decision made after the death of your grandfather. A blush rises to your cheeks as you think of the happiness you have found.

#sebastian sdv x reader #sebastian x reader #stardew valley #stardew #stardew sebastian #sebastian sdv #sebastian stardew valley #sebastian stardew valley x reader #reader insert #x reader

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bitter-limelight · 9 months

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Time to sound like a cranky old person but,

I am begging gen Z to understand that you live in reality. Begging.

I work management in a job that attracts a lot of teens and young 20 somethings. It's an expected first job, not super hard, not super busy, but more involved than stocking shelves or bagging groceries. And I get some great kids once in a while, some young adults who are learning how to adult.

But I get more kids who are coming out of a post COVID terminally online cocoon who have never been given a realistic image of the world outside their Tik Tok screen and it's horrifying.

I routinely have kids who call out at least once a week because they're stressed, they're anxious, they don't feel good, they overslept, they stayed up too late (note that this is after I try to teach them that they do not need to tell their employer why they are calling out and that it's in their best interest to not share personal or medical information that can be used against them but they think saying they're sick will be a get out of work free card). I've had more than one employee who I find sitting on the floor in front of the customer area because they're tired or "just chilling". Several who tell me after they've been hired that they can't work mornings, can't work evenings, can't work more than 5 hours days or more than 3 days in a row. I've had several talk to me about how they need to prioritize their mental health and take a self care day today, and tomorrow, and two days next week.

And I'm WORRIED for these kids, because the thing is, they are right that capitalism is a soul crusher, that we are overworked, that we are expected to give too much, that we deserve better hours and better pay, that our mental health needs to be our priority. These are all true things, but they think they can step out of mom and dad's house and into a world where they will be given these things and that's just...not the world we live in.

When I get a new hire I tell them about what is expected of them, they sign papers about hours and call outs and attendence and how they can be fired for not following this (I have no power to hire or fire I just manage them at their work). And still I have 22 year olds crying at me in the bathroom because they got fired for calling out 13 days in a month. I have kids who don't understand why they can't just stand there on their phone "vibing." That they should be exempt from talking to customers because they have social anxiety and have to accommodate them (this is a customer service job, there is no accommodations for not interacting with customers ) "They can't fire me for being sick!" But they can. "They can't fire me, I'm disabled and need these accomodations!" But they can, because nobody ever taught you what a reasonable accomodation is. "But we have a union!" A union can't help you after you've been written up four times.

I try to be a good first job and first boss. You need an extra break? Sure, go grab a snack. A customer yelled at you? I'll handle it, go cool off then we will talk about what to do next time. If you have an emergency, talk to me, you can probably leave early. I try to be a buffer between these young people and the corporate machine above me, meeting them where they are while trying bridge the gap between their ideals and the reality they're facing. And I still have employees who quit, telling me they're over worked and this or that is illegal (it isn't, it's just unfair) and they're gonna go find a job where they're appreciated, only to come back a few months later and ask for their job back because everywhere else sucked too.

But sorry. You didn't put in your two weeks like I told you to so now you're non rehireable and banned from ever working at this brand again.

I admire Gen Z's desire for something better. I'm not here to be a corporate bootlicker. I'm here as someone who needs to work my ass off to make ends meet. I'm disabled, my options are limited. I've been fired for my disability, which is legal cause you can't prove that's why and do you have the money for a lawyer to fight them? I don't. I play the game, I get by, and I'm just honestly really worried for these kids who have big dreams of a better world but no idea how to get by in the one they are in. You gotta eat, you gotta pay rent, you gotta have heat and power and water. You have to survive while you work on a world where you can thrive.

This isn't "gen Z lazy, gen Z stupid, Gen z bad", this is gen Z, especially working class gen Z, disabled gen Z and queer gen Z is gonna be totally fucked if they don't learn some entry level work skills and how to not get fired from Costco

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the-raging-tempest · 9 months

Text

TV Tropes Page for Zrise

I may update this in the future. Just a general content warning because it touches on some potentially triggering topics below.

Fake Tv Tropes for Lariel

Abusive Parents: As a child he was corporally punished by his step-father until he got big enough to fight back. Treated not as a child but as a weapon.

All for Nothing: As he looks back and sees the ashes in his wake he realizes too late that what he burned along the way was what he really needed.

All of the Other Reindeer: His family treats him like an outsider. Then when Zrise gets exposed to the outside world most people treat him as strange and scary. He resents this. Never welcome where he is. As a noble he’s a bastard. As an inquisitor he’s a noble. Even when people treat him with kindness it’s because they want to use him.

Always Second Best/Can't Catch Up: No matter how hard he tries his sister is better at almost everything.

Ambition is Evil: One of the driving forces behind his actions. He wants to become so powerful that no one can hurt him.

Anguished Declarations of Love: The only way he ever admits any romantic feelings.

Bastard Understudy: Each mentor who attempts to take him under their wing. He eventually turns on them.

Being Evil Sucks: After the temporary highs of revenge, power, and hedonism fade. All he is left with is the truth that he doesn’t even know how to be happy anymore. There's always someone looking for justice and vengeance. He will always be fighting to stay alive.

Beneath the Mask: Having to be many things to many people on many occasions. And often failing to live up to the expectations the Mask set. Zrise is afraid to look Beneath the Mask because he believes he will hate whoever is underneath. That whoever is underneath is truly worthless. He can slip into Becoming the Mask. Where he loses himself and it’s too late to turn back.

Birthday Hater: Each birthday he sees as a day closer to death. Despite his sister’s request to spend the day together, he always flakes. Caught up in thinking about how he’s wasted his life. He avoids it, gets drunk, and picks a fight.

Blessed with Suck: He worships his Goddess so that he wouldn’t have to die and slow agonizing death. To get his medicine. His gift is an almost normal life, the only problem is the price he's always paying is doing their dirty work.

Blood Knight: He loves to fight. At times he says it’s his life's purpose. It’s the only time he feels competent. Battle is where he feels he has purpose.

Cruel to Be Kind: Zrise often pushes people away because he believes himself to be dangerous. He knows what he’d do to his enemies and those they love. He knows what he himself has done to the ones he loves. He doesn’t want it to happen again. Though he never goes about explaining it this way. He often pushes people away in moments when he does not trust himself.

Dark and Troubled Past: Zrise was killed as a child. Drown intentionally by his mother. Only for her to realize she’d have to suffer consequences after his sister ran off. He was then resurrected through a necromantic ritual. Though the ritual was not complete as it required his mother’s heart as sacrifice. A price she wasn’t willing to pay. Through his childhood he was constantly sick and weak due to the ritual being incomplete. Leaving his body wanting to decay and corrupt. He required blood transfusions to retain his personhood and not become a shambling corpse. Though the curse still makes its way through his body and soul. He was fully aware when his soul was ripped away before his untainted self could be judged. Warned that the punishment for trying to cheat death was far worse than death itself. Zrise tells himself that this experience was a bad dream. Though the memories of that day still recur in his sleep. Not allowing him to rest. He blames the Gods who wish to punish him, rather than his mother for his murder.

Defiant to the End: He’ll always die kicking and screaming. Spitting in his enemies face. He never begs for his life.

Despair Event Horizon: Depending on his life path different events can trigger this. Usually though it is he loses his connection to both his sister and mother.

Divine Punishment: Zrise can turn from his Goddess should he choose. But then he must face the consequences of becoming like the very heretics he hunted.

Doom Magnet: The ones who he actually cares about suffer the longer they are around him due to the consequences of his actions and his inability to face them.

Even Evil Has Loved One’s / Even Bad Men Love Their Mamas: Zrise has a deep soft spot for both his sister and his mother. Both are tied in deeply with the trauma of his death. His mother for his murder, and his sister for leaving him behind. His craving for love from his mother drives him to act out, longing for her attention. The comfort of his sister's love often causes him to selfishly drive others away from her. His loyalty to one or the other can greatly influence his fate.

Face-Heel Turn: Can be in relation to his sister, mother, and the Knight Commander. Applies to Oria and Relik.

Fate Worse Than Death: His soul is tainted from the necromancy performed on him as a child. Taken before his soul could be judged untainted. He deeply fears what awaits him in the afterlife.

Handsome Lech: Faithful worshipper of the Goddess of Lust. Known as a rake and a scoundrel in high society. He is known to pursue sex with anyone who can tolerate him with something to offer. When people can look past his undead nature he is attractive enough to get people’s attention, but they don't stick around for long. His personality and behavior drives others away from him. This is often intentional and self destructive on his end.

Heel-Face Turn: To the Knight Commander on certain paths. Going from wishing to betray his sister to choosing a slow death to protect the ones he loves. Trying to be worthy of love.

How The Mighty Have Fallen: At his highs he is protected by some of the most wealthy and powerful. It all comes crashing down and he’s left with nothing, not even his grandfather’s name. And all his former allies are out to kill him.

Identity Breakdown: Can either make or break Zrise. At his lowest he realizes how long he’s been a shell of himself.

Kick the Dog: He has many moments that could be considered kicking the dog. Cruel to both animals and children when they bother him. Don’t ask him for charity. His version of mercy is a swift death. He is also often cruel to his sister.

Love Makes You Crazy: How this manifests greatly depends on the object of his affection. Though he will do increasingly bizarre and desperate things for their attention, affection, and loyalty. Can include; Attempting to scare, fight, or kill any rival. Murder on their behalf. Changing the way he dresses and speaks. ‘Accidently’ bumping into them. Full blown denial that they aren’t interested in him. Being violent at perceived rejection. ‘Tests’ of their loyalty. Pursuing someone else in hopes they become jealous. Looking through their personal belongings. Etc.

Love Makes You Evil: In the past Zrise killed his former rival and lover. Happens in certain paths if enabled by the Knight Commander.

Love Redeems: If the Knight Commander and Lariel can get through to him.

My God, What Have I Done?: Often Zrise realizes much too late that his plans will require a sacrifice he was never ready to make. Only now if he fails to follow through he might just end up losing it all anyway because it’s already been set in motion.

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished: Even when Zrise does try to finally atone and ‘make up’ for what he’s done, it’s too little too late. The enemies he’s made along the way are not satisfied until all the suffering he has brought is paid back in full. Leaving those he loves in the crossfire.

Pater Familicide: One of the worst outcomes for him. When he doesn’t see a way out and he can’t bear to let his family see who he's become.

Professional Killer: Torturing and killing enemies of the faith is his job. He gets very defensive when people criticize this.

Sadist: Zrise has found a way to enjoy his work. That is to enjoy suffering. Both of others and his own.

Sanity Slippage: Guilt, fear, and forces greater than himself, make him start to slide further and further away from sanity.

The Berserker: Charges into battle like he has nothing to lose. Sometimes it's arrogance that the divine will protect him. Sometimes it’s full blown rage. Sometimes it’s a deep desire to hurt himself. Either way he doesn’t back down.

The Caligula: In some timelines; After murdering all the family above him he rules over all of what the Ellvesem family held. With one surviving family member he believes he can control. Abusing and using his family’s former allies. OR rising to Godhood his divine powers let him become his worst self.

The Hedonist: He often looks for a quick fix for his mood. Sex, drugs, etc. Sex is often his go to. Though in certain circumstances he can also indulge in his bloodlust. He's bad at thinking of the long term and looks for what is quick, easy, and pleasurable. (Even if that’s self flagellation)

The Starscream: In trying to befriend those more evil and powerful than himself he ends up envying and resenting them so much he plans to kill them and take their place.

Tragic Villain: It’s hard to say what path his life would have taken if his mother had not done what she did. If he didn't feel he needed to do whatever it took to survive.

Troubled Abuser: As much a victim and a perpetrator in the cycle of violence. Often accepting abusive and awful behavior because of how he was treated. Believing he must dish it out so he doesn’t have to be at its mercy.

Unwitting Pawn: Often he falls right into the traps his mentors set for him, even when he tries to defy them.

Undead Always Ends: Usually Zrise does not survive succumbing to the curse or worse.

Used to Be a Sweet Kid: Lariel often tells stories of a younger less jaded Zrise. One who carefully tended to plants in the family’s greenhouse. Who wanted to be a knight in shining armor. Who played tricks and pranks. A boy who tried to befriend everyone he ran into. Her brother who would look at the stars with her and talk about the adventures they would go on when they grew up.

What Have I Become?: After he was brought back to life Zrise found his own body, a stranger. Fangs, cold gray skin, dark hair and nails. He has believed himself a monster since that day.

Your Approval Fills Me With Shame: Certain mentors' approval fills him with a deep sense of shame once he starts to try to pull himself together. Often paired with trying to do the right thing and failing miserably.

#oc: zrise #zrise lore #fake tv tropes #yes I'm still feeling bad #but hey I am doing some writing #I’m so brain dead #but I have started the anime #fena: pirate princess because of course I have #saving lairel for last #hers is taking the longest #about Zrise

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urhoneycombwitch · 8 months

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one, this is me yelling at you

and two, this is office anon hating by receptionist job and thinking how Eddie would make it better

he'd call during work hours to be like "hi baby how are you?!" and then judging by your tone he'd know what kind of day you're having. And you gotta keep using your customer service voice or else your boss will get upset for taking personal calls on the company line. Maybe down the line you guys will make some kind of code or whatever to communicate.

Or when work absolutely sucks and you're coming home grumpy as hell and he's like oooo you wanna quit so bad and you're like eddie we need the money it's not too bad but he hates seeing you basically wanna kys over this corporation so after way too long he's like enough. Put in your two weeks, I'll figure it out. and he shoves your resume on the top of the pile at his uncle's work and a couple other places where he knows they don't suck as much.

also he definitely cures a lot of work blues with sex. making sure you get all the praises you deserve for working so hard.

thanks for yelling at me didn’t work the blurb is still unfinished but that’s ok gonna work on it today!!!

okay yes love this. like soooo The Office core where Jim and Pam learn Morse code to communicate on the sly. Eddie would teach you everything he knows just to call you up during the middle of your work day and feel like a spy with his girlfriend ☺️☺️☺️

one day he shows up with flowers to surprise u just because, and you give him a tour of the beige 1960s building you’re forced to spend most of your days in. at the end of the hall he turns to you and says “hmm. well now that I’ve scoped out the whole place there seems to be no reason we can’t fuck in the supply closet😇”

and YEP he’s very “quit your job and let me provide for you” type of boyfriend. not to a toxic amount ‘cuz obviously he wants you to follow your dreams and be happy!! but if corporate is sucking your soul he sees it as Enemy No. 1 and does everything in his power to get you outta there

#lu’s anons #e.m. thots from lu #eddie munson x reader

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kdinjenzen · 2 years

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That...intensely sucks.

Only more reason why it's resoundingly unfair how the companies profit and leech off of people's hard work while inevitably destroying what makes that work special, harming their employees...

*goes to sulk in the corner, thoughts frustrated that the world doesn't treat employees better, or even allows their life's work to be in their control and able to get the funding it needs without being tied to the mercurial whims of corporations*

I'm really sorry, I am.

Trust me when I say that I wish this situation was not what it is.

I spent 10 years at that company, doing what I could, making friends, making content, providing my voice both on camera and behind the scenes, learning from others, helping others learn, and fighting back when I could.

Ten. Years.

I feel like I wasted so much of my time and my life, and because of that and how I was treated (and am still treated even though I left the company) ... I am struggling.

But I love my friends, I love their work past and present, while searching for a new job for myself I am also helping them try and find new work too. We're all helping each other as best we can.

So while the company sucked the soul out of us, our friendship and drive to create together continues on.

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casliveblog · 5 months

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Custom Toonami Block Week 175 Rundown

The Witch from Mercury: So IMMEDIATELY after Sul’s duel with Gaston everyone goes ‘wait aren’t the suits that suck the life out of you banned because our war chief is a bloodthirsty dictator?’ and she immediately gets arrested and kicked out of school. Meanwhile Mio’s been told that she’s no longer forced to marry the school’s top pilot and her father is cutting out the middleman and just arranging a marriage for her which she’s like what 16 even for a high business monarchy style thing it seems a little early to lock that down that hard. Also just kinda wondering what the point of even playing at the ‘oh it’s whoever the best is’ if you’re just gonna immediately cut the façade whenever it’s someone you don’t want like why not just force a marriage from the start. Anyway Mio’s like ‘bitch I wanted to marry the gay girl how dare you take back your orders and give me new ones’ like she doesn’t like being told what to do but explicitly seemed a lot more chill about it when it was Sul. Gaston gets beaten by his father for losing and we allude to him being slightly less shitty than we were initially led to believe since he did send some people to clean up Mio’s garden. The bigwigs are all having a NERV-style meeting of shadowy figures and our resident obligatory Masked Gundam Character Prospera is like ‘yeah it looks and functions exactly like a Gundam but it didn’t suck her soul out so it can’t be one, right?’ and no one’s fucking buying that and also it’s a bunch of old men high on their own power so they’re just like ‘well you’re under arrest for building something that functions exactly like the thing we banned then’. Meanwhile Mio shows up, redicrecting her escape attempt to Earth to save Sul and telling her father off and basically having a badass teenage tantrum in a shareholder’s meeting, like it’s kinda cool how blatantly petty and personal her grievances are that it takes some balls to bring it up the way she does surrounded by the most important people in the world that just sentenced a masked lady to jail for technically not breaking the law. She challenges her dad to fight the Aerial and reinstate her engagement to Sul which he has absolutely no obligation to accept given idk if Corporations should really work on Klingon rules anyway and if you’re gonna take shit from him say if you win you get the whole company, go big or go home. But the group discusses that the illegal suit is pretty dope and they wanna get some more data out of it so they agree to let Sul fight to save her Gundam and her lesbian fiancée so that’s good.

Inuyasha The Final Act: Inuyasha and co. are still soaking in Kikyo’s death and Koga gets an admittedly nice sendoff where he gets to leave on good terms with Kagome as well as get enough out of a rise out of Inuyasha to snap him out of his post-Kikyo coma and get him to resolve to make Koga’s sacrifice worthwhile. I like how Koga intentionally says the most triggering shit just to piss him off at this point like he’s really become self-aware as a character and knows what his role is. Also as another character that embodies the ‘the power to achieve your dreams is inside you’ moral of the story he started out seeking the jewel to obtain the power to unite the wolf demon tribes and ends up so strong that losing his jewel shards is basically just a minor inconvenience and ends up in a relationship that does in fact unite the fractured parts of the tribes. Meanwhile Sesshomaru is talking to his mom about trying to master Meidou Zangetsuha and ends up getting Kohaku and Rin dragged into the underworld during the training. I feel like Sesshomaru’s mom is such wasted potential like she has so little screentime and is basically a plot device they could’ve done so much more with. Once she reveals that Rin can’t be revived again by the Tenseiga Sesshomaru’s grief and compassion evolves both the healing and the meidou side of Tenseiga so he can purify a hundred souls as it was originally stated and create a much larger Meidou Zangetsuha, though Rin still has to be brought back with Mommymaru’s necklace of convenience. It’s really funny that Jaken takes it upon himself to be Sesshomaru’s emotion translator at this point since he knows he’s stoic enough not to cry when Rin dies despite wanting to and also won’t thank his mom for saving her despite being thankful. Last but not least she tells Kohaku he also can’t be saved by Tenseiga in case people were starting to think that now that he and Sesshomaru are together, apparently you only get one free get out of death free card regardless of the source so yeah. Inuyasha’s group make it their new mission to hunt down and protect Kohaku so they can figure out what to do now that Naraku has 99.9% of the jewel.

Castlevania: So I’mma be honest, this is where the Internal Vampire politics get kinda frustrating, like I’ve had it in the back of my head that all this infighting may just be a way to ruin Dracula’s otherwise impregnable plan and have a heroic victory while both evil sides are fighting each other and I’m still worried about that considering we’ve spent more time with them than with Trevor this season but in this episode we even find out that all the shit Carmilla wants to do Dracula would’ve just let her do anyway like he doesn’t give a shit, she wants to usurp his armies and the one move that she’s been gunning for since she walked in the door they’re just like ‘sure go nuts’ and the planning of the past like three episodes has basically been for that. I’m getting ahead of myself, Trevor’s group stuff first since we actually make some progress on that this episode. Basically Alucard gives Sypha the reverse speech that Trevor gave her last time about how he’s a dick and they can’t really trust him and like 75% of this show at this point is untrustworthy vampires telling people they can’t trust people. Sypha wisely asserts they’re both morons and they’ve gotta suck it up and get to world-saving or else everyone’s fucked. But yeah back on Carmilla’s weird warpath they don’t know Godbrand’s dead and Isaac is called by Hector to get him to sign off on going to Braila and get in on the Carmilla cult. Isaac is not down for Carmilla but he is for the Braila plan since it means everyone can shut up about it and Carmilla can stop whining so the politics of it don’t functionally matter, like it’s been such a long fight for this and it doesn’t functionally matter because they just do it anyway. Granted Isaac does it because it means their traitors are all in one place with a name and a face and Hector does it because everyone that talks to Carmilla is like ‘Carmilla is always going on about how she doesn’t trust or respect anyone but I’M DIFFERENT, I’M THE SPECIAL ONE’ like Godbrand was a fucking moron so that was fine but geez she’s not even being seductive enough for them to be thinking with their dicks they’re just idiots, she’s not even good at the manipulation considering if she’d just asked Dracula to do it he’s so done at this point he prolly would’ve. She doesn’t even bother to pretend this was Hector’s independent idea and follows him into the room coaching him and shit. Like the only functional thing this does is make Carmilla the Commander in Chief for this fight for… some reason, and like it’s not even a good argument because the two sides are ‘do something’ and ‘do nothing’ and Carmilla has the balls to be all ‘haha now you’re in too deep Hector so I don’t have to pretend to like you anymore’ like BITCH AS LEAST WAIT TILL YOU ACTUALLY HAVE THE REINS like holy shit all you did was convince Dracula to do something he wasn’t all that adverse to doing in the first place you’re not exactly Sosuke Aizen and she has this weird girl power bent to some of her speeches and I’d really rather girls just do the badass girl power thing instead of talking about how girly and empowered they are all the time. Long story short I don’t really like Carmilla and this plot had a really weird end to this section of the season for basically taking up half the runtime. Meanwhile, actual girl power girl Sypha found a way to trap Castlevania in one place as long as she can jerry-rig an ending to the spell that’s like 80% done but she doesn’t have a lot of time because the castle just showed up like… five minutes ago.

Jujutsu Kaisen: It’s Mahito versus Nobara time and apparently Mahito’s clone can’t transfigure souls and can only do the Clayface body warping shit and Nobara actually figures this out and uses the clone’s body as a substitute Straw Doll like she did with the other guy’s arm cause semantically the clone is basically Mahito’s arm and she wrecks him up from long distance, saving Yuji from an ambush in the process and giving him the opportunity to beat the shit out of Mahito while he’s stunlocked. Rather than keep going through that shit, Mahito employs the Joestar Family’s Secret Technique and books it the fuck out of there. The two Mahitos actually meet up and switch, the real one attacking Nobara while Yuji beats the other one’s head in. Mahito gives Nobara’s face a quick tap and isn’t sure if he killed her, like this whole exchange is excruciatingly vague about whether she’s dead or not but we jump straight into her backstory which isn’t a good sign. It’s basically a fleshed-out version of the story she told in the beginning of the series. I feel like this happens a lot where characters in long-running series have simple backstories at the beginning and then have a secondary supplemental flashback to beef up the tragedy or reframe the original flashback, half the cast of One Piece has done this at this point but for Nobara it’s an interesting retelling of her story through the eyes of her friends and giving a ‘this is your life’ type deal about who she’s loved and why she’s done what she’s done that gives a lot better of an idea of who she is than her original introduction. But yeah her eye fucking explodes which is weirdly not how we’ve seen Mahito’s powers work anywhere else but it was just a light tap while he was in a hurry and maybe her energy resisted it or something. Given that and the vagueness where even Mahito’s not sure if it was enough to kill her I’m tempted to say she’s not dead because usually you don’t want to be ambiguous about that shit unless you’re gearing up for a big return but as far as I know the manga’s already fighting Sukuna at this point and she’s yet to make a comeback so who fucking knows.

Delicious in Dungeon: After Laios’s sword gets busted he tells the story of how he got it fighting a bunch of living armor in the dungeon and how he fucked up and died the first time, confirming that death does indeed have no consequences which explains Marcille’s dialogue in the first episode and why no one seems too worried about rushing to get Falin. Still I’d say if death has no consequences in your series that’s something you’d want to establish right away because that is kind of an investment breaker, something like how DBZ put limits on the dragon balls at first and made loopholes harder so death isn’t just meaningless like it is in the Buu Saga. Still I kinda like this episode since it’s mainly focused on one thing and the food stuff doesn’t get in the way of the storytelling too much. They manage to sneak past the living armor colony and Laios fights Ornstein and it turns out it’s a bunch of mollusks living in the layers of the armor and doing weird goopy Alphonse Elric shit. They cook them and Laios gets Ornstein’s sword but it has a mollusk living inside it still so he’s basically got a living weapon which is pretty neat.

Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End: Frieren confronts Aura and surprisingl the Autistic Elf Power Hour has its second encounter with Living Armor this week, what’re the odds? Aura basically has the Millenium Scales except instead of summoning a demon to eat a Musuem Curator she weighs their power level and just instantly controls anyone weaker than her with the caveat that if someone stronger than her shows up she just automatically gets controlled instead. I’m kinda sad this means Aura doesn’t actually have a demon army like this was just a plot by four guys and not a whole organized force but I guess it’s fine. She uses an anti-spell spell to dispel the control instead of blasting nameless husks into the ground and desecrating their corpses because Himmel yelled at her last time for disrespecting the dead. Aura asks her why she cares what a corpse thinks and oh it is ON now. Meanwhile Fern and Stark are preparing for Stark to book it out of dodge and try and get Frieren back to fight the other two demons when they get caught in an ambush by Blood Sephiroth and the little girl. Turns out the little girl’s powers are Unlimited Blade Works/Sharingan shenanigans where she can create a weapon and mimic a fighting style by watching it enough and she’s just so happened to have copied Eisen’s style during the first war and decks Stark with his own moves but better. Meanwhile it seems Fern’s ability is Quick Draw and she can just fire off spells crazy rapid and puts the push on Blood Sephiroth in a really cool fight that creates literal fireworks. Stark takes Eisen’s words of “Just don’t die, stupid” to heart and does that thing from Samurai Champloo where if you leave yourself wide open enough it leaves the enemy wide open for their counterattack and destroys the little girl so yay, two down two to go.

Vinland Saga: War has reached Ketil’s farm and he’s got about 300 farners with pitchforks versus Canute’s 100 Jommvikings and Royal Theigns so yeah it’s basically the coughing baby versus the hydrogen bomb. Luckily Thorfinn’s met up with Leif and Leif’s a fucking chad and agrees to take on all of Thorfinn’s extra baggage he’s gathered over the past season and transport Arnheid out of there while the fighting’s going on. Snake tells his men that Ketil is a fraud and was never a war hero because he knew the guy his name was actually based on and came to him for help but at the same time he feels indebted to the family that’s taken care of him all this time and it’s really funny to watch his speech about how Ketil’s a fraud and not worth dying over right as he goes out to die for him fires his men up more than anything, like actions really do speak louder than words. Ketil’s kinda bought into his own hype at this point and isn’t listening to the dozens of people telling him he’s going into a meatgrinder and yeah it’s a fucking massacre, I imagined Thorfinn would be more upset watching this or trying to actively broker peace talks but I guess he’s got other shit on his plate right now since Arnheid’s on death’s door and got her ghost husband’s permission to go say her last goodbyes. Meanwhile Thorgil��s just gonna pop out of the ocean buck naked with a sword and try and cut Canute’s head off behind enemy lines so that’s… a plan I guess. I have no clue how he intends to get out of there even if he succeeds but okay, you do your naked regicide.

#ooc #Toonami #Custom Toonami Block #The Witch From Mercury #Inuyasha #Castlevania #Jujutsu Kaisen #Delicious in Dungeon #Frieren #Sousou no Frieren #Vinland Saga

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ejaydoeshisbest · 7 months

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How re-reading Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe brought this miserable, lonely 29-year-old back to life.

THIS IS NOT A REVIEW OR REACTION OF ARISTOTLE AND DANTE DISCOVER THE SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE. It’s more like how the story and characters brought me back to life and how it reignited some of my dreams. This is also like stream-of-consciousness writing, meaning some points will be redundant.

The summary of this long post:

Literature and art make life beautiful. I have lost myself for so long. Now I have found myself again, and healing, through the power of stories. My core identity is resurfacing, settling itself nicely in my chest. It’s like I am beating with a new heart, though my body still remains sickly.

But I will fight for this reignited free-spirited dreamer who lives each day with gratitude, purpose, and love. Dante Quintana taught me that. My north star is twinkling again, shining with the radiance of my purest and noblest dream, which is to live life absorbing and expressing myself through stories.

I realized that cutting that dreaming, idealistic part of me only brought misery. By conforming to the constraints of my reality (poverty, meeting social expectations, and following societal norms) and shifting my mindset to reflect those around me, I became a common lemming with no color in his life.

I don’t want to go down the traditional, practical route anymore. Just like Benjamin Alire Saenz, I just want to write, even when that means compromising with reality, like taking a minimum wage job near where I live just so I can have the time to express myself even when no one hears whatever I have to say. Better that than work a soul-sucking corporate job.

Magic happened back then when I allowed it to manifest in serendipitous ways in my life. When I listened to my instincts and my gut, coupled with discipline and hard work. I was open, and so the world opened up to me. And the world was beautiful. I was true to myself like Dante was, and like how Aristotle learned to become. I had forgotten that.

Now, though, I have to be open to the world and be cautious at the same time. I just have to be careful. Dante got beat up because he didn’t run. I’ve got to make sure that I can be like Aristotle and learn how to defend myself even with my small body.

I’m not sure if I can get back to that raw state of vulnerability where every hour of every day that I am awake was nurturing this wistful perception about the world. I’ve seen enough of it to know that there are vile monsters dwelling in dark places. But I will be honest in the way I live my life. I owe that to myself.

Besides, maybe I can find some good people in my journey of truth. Reading Aristotle and Dante again filled me with hope that I would still meet some bright, wonderful people—people who were touched by the story of these two boys, who are sensitive and are not afraid to live their own truth.

Part I – The Re-Read

Who knew that opening and reading one of my favorite novels again—the one I’ve been wanting to read since early this year—the one that’s been on my study desk for months now, drinking the golden rays of the midday sun, could help me find myself again.

It helped heal me, more than anything I’ve been doing so far. Just like Pixar’s Luca did, created by Enrico Casarosa. Just like Heartstopper did, created by Alice Oseman.

It awakened my dormant spirit. For so long, I let fear and general lethargy, depression and anxiety swallow me whole. I viewed the world as this miserable place to live in. I forgot to dream of possibilities. I forgot to retreat into this childlike perspective that worked for me. I forgot to delight in the simplest things: the icing on a cupcake, the smell of coffee in a cozy coffee shop, the sunset hitting the skyscrapers, the laughter shared between close friends. I forgot myself.

The first time I read the book, I thought it was simply a feel-good, well-written, lyrical young gay romance. It has helped me come to terms with my sexuality and it told me that it was all right to love someone, even if we’re both boys. The writing is warm and lyrical and gentle even through some difficult, emotional scenes.

It filled me with the hope that someday when I was older and more sure of myself, I would experience that kind of love.

And even if I didn’t find this wonderful love shared between two people, then I would still have the wonderful message of this story. Of loving yourself, of discovering yourself and staying true to yourself. Treating yourself gently and treating those around you with grace and compassion, and defending what good you believe in. Of never running away from what you believe is right.

After reading Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe for the second time, I fell back into the age and state and place I was in the first time I read it; a young man who had freshly come to terms with his sexuality, full of hopes about his future. He was excited for the life he was dreaming and planning for.

But reading it again after 8 years felt like I was mourning a part of myself, too. This book hangover is deep and life-altering. The impact was greater, heavier.

When the afterglow from reading the book receded, I was a sickly adult once more; one who had made some major wrong choices in life. And if not the wrong choices, then someone who wasted his good years by being a lazy, anxious, depressed slob, afraid to make any choices at all, whether good or bad. I was a waste of space, back in his old childhood room, wasting his time, wasting whatever remaining youth he still had in him.

It hurt because I was not a young man, and it hurt that I’ve done nothing good and useful in my life. I have not accomplished not one of my major dreams.

Maybe that was why even though I placed it on top of my desk, I was hesitant to open its pages again. Because I subconsciously knew that it would hurt. Though the story still lingered in the deepest chambers of heart, in the recesses of my tarnished spirit, all through these years, it was still faint to not make any considerable impact. It was then just a delightful story. And now that I am reminded of its power, it broke me, and then it repaired my broken heart.

I had forgotten the message and story, and how could I? After it has served me so well and impacted my young adult life. It made me romanticize my life, fall in love with the world, and be conscious of my youth.

Perhaps I thought it silly that I was too invested in a fictional world when the stressors of reality were so hard and demanded my full attention. Maybe that’s why I let the message go, because I thought it didn’t apply in the real world. In my reality.

Perhaps I listened to the people from a corporate setting; those wearing business suits and ties Monday to Saturday, that I kicked all my childlike wonder to the curb.

Or perhaps daring to dream, persistently, was slowly killing me on the inside as I became an overworked and underpaid corporate slave surviving in a developing country like the Philippines, with its corrupt government and ungodly four-hour traffic congestions that eats up most of your life. The added pressure of going through weeks, then months, then years, of putting my dreams and personal goals on hold was so painful that I abandoned them completely. The dreamer in me disappeared, and that was when I became jaded, cynical, anxious, miserable, and depressed.

Now, I am reminded to stay true to myself. To be good, even though the world is cruel. To be strong so I can defend myself, my dreams, and those who I love. To not be ashamed, so long as I do not hurt anyone. To dream big and to live a life full of love.

Part II – Inspired by Young Fictional Characters

I want to go on an adventure like Dante. Or I want to be like him.

I want to pretend that I am young and live in America and have the option and freedom to move to any state I want. I want to feel myself again. I want to restart my life. I want to do things that bring me joy and give joy to people.

Now that I am a lost, directionless fool, I am actively yearning and envious of Dante’s free-spirited nature. I used to be like him way back when I was his age and up to college. Heck, maybe even a few years into my early adulthood.

I am envious of Dante now because he gets to go to the places I want to go, and I am resentful of his artistic spirit and how easily he expresses himself, and mourning how my spirit used to float like his.

I see all these images of me in this alternate life, now that I get to dream. I am visiting New York or Los Angeles or Chicago.

I am in the middle of the art scene, bathed in neon red, orange, and blue lights. I am in my element and I have the energy to explore. Or I am in a literary scene. Or I am in a cozy bookstore/library. I work as a Starbucks barista somewhere nearby. Or maybe I am a creative entrepreneur, making decent income selling prints or self-publishing my work online. I have friends that I’ll keep forever no matter the distance, instead of losing the few remaining friends that I have, because we try our best to understand each other care for each other. This is all what I wanted in life.

Dante makes me feel young and hopeful. He reminds me to let things go and be earnest and joyful and accept all that life has to offer and show up as my real self, even if it hurts.

Maybe this is a passing feeling. Maybe I’m just inspired by all the Western young adult novels that I’ve read. Maybe I’m just riding on the book hangover I’m feeling right now.

I’m not sure if this is a problem. I don’t know if this is silly. That this powerful drive in me was inspired by fictional characters in fictional stories, but I suppose we all take inspiration from somewhere.

I’d rather take inspiration that stirs me to act than be an emotionless lump of despair going through the motions and reliving his miserable existence.

I want the comfort and beauty of fiction to bleed into my everyday boring life because repressing the lessons and impact of fiction is like repressing my creativity and inner playful dreaming child. And that is a promise to myself to never do again.

When I thought about it more, the qualities found in my favorite novels apply in the real world, too. I also know that there are other dreamers just like me out there who are making their own little spaces bright and beautiful. Maybe if I stayed true to myself and follow this new, instinctual path, it would lead me to meeting these wonderful, creative people.

The biggest challenge now is re-learning how to love this slow, sick body and to work with its strengths and limitations to live the kind of life that I want. I’m way past being a young teenager or young adult. I still have to be practical about most things, but not enough to ruin the dreamer in me.

I may be older than I’d like to be when reclaiming my life, but I am still 29. I’m going to give it my all these 8 months until my birthday to pursue all my passion projects even though I’m still unwell.

Part III – Healing the Inner Child

Aitch Alberto, the brilliant director who pushed FOR YEARS to make a movie adaptation of Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe, mentioned in an interview that reading the story unlocked something magical and indescribable in her that inspired her to live her true self.

That was what I felt after reading the book, too. It is a testament to its timelessness. The power of stories, in general, is amazing. It had unlocked my core identity; the one I kept chained in the deepest chambers of my heart. And with it came back my highest dreams and ambitions. My purpose in life—the same one I had when I was 18—resurfaced. To tell stories. That was what gave my life meaning. To read and to be touched by stories and to share my own stories to those who want to listen.

And to explore myself by opening myself up to the world and its endless opportunities. To grow by learning with other people and being amazed at what they can do. To collaborate with past and future friends.

I want to carve another path for myself and devote myself to that path for a couple of months and see what happens. If I failed, it wouldn’t matter, because at least I tried, and I was true to myself while doing it, instead of allowing reality to dampen my spirits. At least I tried to really push myself towards a noble pursuit that I believed in when I was still a young boy.

I could do so much more if I wasn’t so hard on myself and thought negatively about myself. I wasted years of my life being miserable, instead of allowing the beauty of fiction to replenish my tired spirit.

This book has inspired to me re-do my life. To get back on track. To fight and not ask for permission and to build the life I want for myself. Focus and determination and grit, like what Aitch said in her many interviews.

I have overcomplicated life for long enough. I want to pursue my many passions again, little by little, because THEY’RE FUN AND JOYFUL AND WORTHWHILE.

Part IV – Staying True and Exploring Myself

We live in an era where we can keep exploring our identities. Our paths can diverge depending on our many interests. We won’t feel stuck being just artists or corporate professionals or any other profession.

We can build ourselves so long as we keep moving forward in meaningful directions. I’ve got to remember to not let go of the things that give my life meaning and joy. If I get lost, I hope that it won’t be too cringe if I imitate the characters in the books I’ve read. It’s not like I have many great real-life inspirations where I’m from.

I might try to explore and express myself in different mediums that inspire me. Aside from great novels, there are other moving artforms, like drawing, painting, vlogging.

Maybe I can explore my abilities and contribute something good to the world while staying true to myself and having fun by experimenting with them all, one by one.

Maybe I could start by writing stories, then after 2 – 3 months of consistently doing that, I can progress to simple sketches and finally learn how to draw!

What’s important is that I’m doing something meaningful in life. I’d like to believe that that’s all there is to it: doing the things you believe you were set in this world to do. I hope that with each artistic or creative venture, I have something good to add to the world. The output isn’t as important as the journey, just like how Dante lives his life.

I just hope that I don’t get into the trap of feeling self-conscious that I am too old to be free-spirited and curious. This cautious voice inside me tells me to not actually regress back into a 16-year-old, of course. I must live in the present and navigate the waters of the new reality I am creating carefully.

But in whatever I set out to do, I must make sure that it is an authentic adventure; that whatever great works of art or literature I encounter, it has to be aligned with the kind of life I’m cultivating. If I am to participate and add my own voice in the mix, I must make sure I have something good to say.

Part V – Sticking to a Plan

In this part, I am heavily inspired by Aristotle. The simple thing he did of working at a diner. I don’t know, something about that is appealing to me, especially as an old, unemployed, lost person.

I liked his independence. Independence and maturity were my best qualities before, back at my prime.

Now that I plan on getting my life back together, getting a job at a nearby donut shop or mall feels like the right step for me. It also offers the freedom for me to have time to work on my hobbies.

Maybe I can start there, since I feel like I was at the age I started reading the novel, anyway. Teens and young adults got their start working a minimum-wage part-time or full-time job, right? It feels like getting a job out of high school, the do-over I need right now. Then after work, I can fully focus on writing. Just writing for now. And stay true to the stories that I want to tell.

Baby steps. That’s the key. Take small, enjoyable steps that make life more meaningful.

The little boy inside me is still there. I don’t want to chase money anymore. I just want to be secure enough so I can try new things.

I’ve been browsing Instagram and Pinterest recently. I think I like the 80s to 90s aesthetic. Maybe I can try posting photos of anything related to that. Maybe I can tell a story through photography. Maybe I can tell a story through painting or drawing. Maybe I can start a book vlog or a journal vlog. I just want to create stories so long as there’s something worthwhile to say.

Again, Dante inspired me to be free and express myself and he reminded me to keep dreaming and act on those dreams. Like he did when he went to Chicago with his parents. Like how I did when I was in college. I romanticized my life and built many useful skills and befriended a lot of people with their own stories to share. I was so confident in my own skin. I kissed girls, I kissed boys. I wrote, I drew, I captured bright moments. Dante made me believe that I can do anything.

Perhaps I also killed my childlike wonder when I mistakenly thought that growing up and being mature means detaching myself all things playful and creative. My priorities of keeping a 9-6, 6 days a week job, made me forget what matters to me the most.

Conclusion

Reading young adult novels like Aristotle and Dante made me remember the good days that I wanted to have. There were other stories that made a deep impact at certain points in my life. There’s “Freak the Mighty”, “Meet the Robinsons”, “Love of Siam”, “The Song of Achilles”, and many others. Last year I had this sort of mourning period after watching “Heartstopper” Season 1 on Netflix. It was a joyful, uplifting show, but I was sad for all the people who did not experience that kind of love.

It's funny how I can remember myself or identify myself with characters from fiction novels than the people I'm with. Sometimes, I think it's because I'm in the Philippines and that people are more individualistic in other places. Like Western countries. They're not afraid to explore themselves and the world around them. Then again, their world has so much to offer.

The trick now is how to keep that free-spirited nature even as an older, impoverished man who wasted most of his opportunities in life and inaction.

I have to find the balance between channeling this constant vulnerable and emotional state I’m in to make good and meaningful work while also facing reality. I have to find the magic in the everyday even if not much of that is happening lately in my small corner of the universe. I have to remember that there is a twinkling north star that is guiding me if I know where to look.

I believe that’s what makes everyone special: that deep feeling that is everyone’s north star. To live life like you were meant to do. To act on meaningful things that give you purpose. To love life through trials.

I want to fill my life with different eras full of passion projects so that I don’t waste any more days. I just need to be brave again. And to just live my life regardless of the limits of my reality. We only have one life to live. I don’t want to waste my life scared and worrying about the same old things. I’d rather experience tolerable pain doing the things that matter most to me and proactively doing it than living in fear.

I have to believe that even though I may not have that vibrant youth anymore, I can do more than just dream now: I can act.

Thank you, Benjamin Alire Saenz, for writing Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe. And for Aitch Alberto, for adapting it into a heartwarming film.

#aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe #benjamin alire sáenz #aitch alberto #family #love #friendship #gay #lgbtqia #strength #reams #hopes #creativity #art #life #staying true #authenticity #writing #painting #goals

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