#crack au

[history-stan]

No because I think it'd be funny if there was a Bill redemption AU where instead of being sent to the Mystery Shack as a human without powers, he's sent to the Boiling Isles as a witch who has powers but he needs to re-learn how to use them because they work differently.

Not to mention that the Witch Hunt page implies that Bill has beef with Belos (the code on the candle translating to "curse Wittebane) (I have a theory that Bill helped build the portal door but Philip somehow pulled one over on him), or the fact that Eda is (most likely) Stan's ex-wife.

Idk, I just think it'd be a really funny AU

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

Brucie Wayne gets into a mild accident in public (read-got hit by a car). And Batman would just walk it off (“it’s barely a bruise”), but Brucie obviously… can’t.

So he has to suffer the ordeal of having civilians call paramedics, getting fussed over, and having-

Having his dead son get into the back of the ambulance with him.

Oh- oh no. He must have hit his head worse than he thought. He thought he was past this…

[bitzzoxl]

"I hate his stupid smile."

They both high-six and Bill noticed the way Ford smiles whenever they do. He hated it and found it stupid even though he cant stop staring at him. Now he can't stop thinking about that smile for the rest of the day.

Tehe was listening to Harvey by Her's while making this.

[pyjamacryptid]

So. I drew that “Arthur’s fished out of the lake” au of mine

edit: yes I know that boats like that likely wouldn’t fish on a lake, and that where avalon should be isn’t really a lake anymore - I promise I know this 😂 - the imagery of Arthur being fished out of a lake in a net was just too hilariously powerful 😂

[sillysiluriforme]

its huh its messy

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

AU where Jason didn’t die and is smol still and everything is just peachy and everyone else still shows up on schedule and maybe the Joker died of “natural” causes and things are generally going pretty well.

And then there are Flash Time Shenanigans™️ or someone punching a hole in reality or whatever, and Jason wakes up one morning having grown fourteen inches and gained ninety pounds that’s pretty much all muscle and no one really knows what’s happened but what can you do except roll with it.

Also Jason now keeps bonking his head on the top of the car when he gets in and has to find some good explanation for his college advisor and the other five hundred or so people that are going to ask him if stress-induced meta powers are a thing because it’s two weeks until finals and they’ll take any hope they can get.

Tim is doing so many calculations to see if something like this might happen to him too. It will not.

Anytime thereafter they meet any of their alternate universe counterparts the number one thing that has everyone else’s jaw dropping is the revelation that Jason was, for a good couple of years at least, shorter than Tim.

[my-name-is-calypso]

Dp X dc prompt

Danny gets kidnapped by the joker

The joker is doing this Live on TV, to gwt The attention of Batman.

He is doing his villain monologue

" -you know? It so crazy that-"

" Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room, a Rubber room, a Rubber room with rats. Rats? Rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room, a Rubber room, a Rubber room with rats. Rats? Rats make me crazy. Crazy?-"

When the Batfam arrives the Joker is crying on the floor while in the fetal position, Danny is still going at it, and he is not stopping any time soon

[ghostplasmas]

I can't take myself seriously.

This is for the LU discord weekly prompt: "everything is the same EXCEPT ___" And I decided to make everything the same- except Time is a Muppet!

This turned into a full blown AU (/srs)

[knockknockwhosthereartistism]

Jennifer’s Body but it’s Billford

[phoenixyfriend]

"Do you think Anakin would have avoided falling if he dated [character] instead of Padme" is generally a very frustrating question, because for the vast majority of ships the answer is Still No unless there are other factors, because Sidious has plans for everything, but.

I think if he dated Kix we would have gotten an acceptable variation on Forced Hospitalization.

I have a lot of suspicion of characters written to drug their friends 'for their own good' but Ranting And Raving And Killing is basically the reasonable time to get in close and just jab the fucker.

@jebiknights (Sammie): That would be an interesting angst premise for AniKix tbh. Esp bc they have similar triggers (helplessness in the face of losing people) and Kix doesn't fit into the hypo crazy Bones type that most medics in fic are based off of

Anakin's busy fighting Obi-Wan, and Kix tranqs him from a distance, because 'it's for your own good' doesn't twinge the force

or

my initial thought, of coming in close to 'talk' and touch faces with Meaningful Gazes, and whoop that was drugs.

Kix could also be bait while Coric gets him lol. I feel like Coric is more the type to take joy out of hypoing people

Kix: I love you, Anakin 🥺

Coric: 🔫

[westwindyone]

Hiccup of the lamb

[ghost-bxrd]

*rubs hands together, slams palms on table*

Okay, you guys heard of “Jason inherited the adoption problem and now Tim is baby”, now get ready for…

Reverse!Robins, where Jason tries to steal from newly minted crime lord Tim and gets flash adopted before Batman can claim another one for his child soldier team!

[blue-rose-soul]

AU where Lucifer went down to New Orleans sometime between 1900 and 1910, right in the middle of Mardi Gras. Charlie was about 100ish at this time, and while Lucifer and Lilith were still together, there was a growing emotional distance between them that had been going on for a few decades at this point. Lucifer's just trying to have some fun and forget his worries for a little while, and he does. And he meets a nice lady. A very nice Creole woman who makes a mean pot of jambalaya with a kick right out of hell. They hit it off and spend the majority of the celebration together.

They get drunk. Very drunk. Lucifer doesn't remember most of that night. The woman, Nicaise, is pregnant.

By some quirk of genetics, the child comes out indistinguishable from a normal human, if significantly paler than his dark-skinned mother. Growing up, Nicaise always tells her son that his daddy was an angel, but all the boy sees is that his father abandoned him and his mother in a world that doesn't look kindly on black women or single mothers. He watches his mother struggle, he watches her suffer, and he grows up resenting and hating the men who make her life hell. Especially his father.

[pyjamacryptid]

I want a silly au where Arthur’s return is just him being fished out of the lake by a fishing net, which is a surprise to both him AND the poor fisherman, who immediately lets go of the rope and dumps him back in the water. After he’s recovered from the shock, Arthur’s hauled back up again, looking like a drowned rat with a fish flopping about on his head. Merlin only finds out from a breaking news headline titled DROWNED MEDIEVAL COSPLAYER FISHED OUT OF LAKE BY HERO FISHERMAN, STILL IN CHARACTER

[brucewaynehater101]

Stupid Crack au that makes zero sense:

Accidental mob/crime boss Dick au.

Makes no sense I know but it'd be Very funny. Like wasn't he close to(?) A mob boss and his family at some point? Imagine he inherits everything overnight bc he was THAT liked and Dick is just panicking abt it

I don't have more thoughts but I could totally see him doing his best to use it for good, and knowing him he'd absolutely find a way lmfao

[idk about him being close to a mob boss in canon, but let's work with that idea ^^]

Dick is intelligent and trained in detective work. He's very proficient at noticing facts others miss, observing a room, and piecing together clues. He's no slouch... when he knows he's working a case.

He's a Bat. He's paranoid and constantly on guard... but he can't always be detecting 100% of the time. That's exhausting and a waste of energy (especially when his detective skills end up pinging shit like "this coffee was made approximately 6 hours ago" whenever he picks up the coffee pot at work).

So, at first, he doesn't notice that a group of people are following his every directions a little too well. He merely attributes the ex-mafia members' change in heart to his ability to charm/help/convince people. If they aren't selling drugs, kidnapping people, murdering, etc. anymore, then that's good!

Sure. They call him Boss. But that's a common address/compliment from other guys! It's fine.

[Basically, Dick is in denial trying desperately to convince himself that he's not a mafia boss until his detective side can't ignore the facts anymore. He then freaks the fuck out (and also brags like hell to Jason because Dick is a *mafia* leader and not a drug lord)]

[lovefrombegonia]

Imagine, the Waynes posting a photo of baby Bruce Wayne with his cold, blue eyes, almost looking white and people go: