#curse this tism addled brainšŖ
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uhhh
#turn me into soup actually i feel like such a dick cancelling on ppl#and yet here i am cancelling on ppl#its literally always bc iām 1 pathetic thing away from having a meltdown#curse this tism addled brainšŖ#also like i rly should plan to be in places for extra time and not just while iām working bc bruh yeah ofc ur overwhelmed already#but also rly did wanna meet them but like. thatās so embarrassing if i just have a breakdown first time meeting someone#also idk how to date. furthermore i do not know how to have the conversation of i donāt wanna be a in a relationship (bc i acc just. cannot)#(also i do not wanna burden them w my existence tbh lol)#which is 100% just me knowing that iām not that great at relationships but not having the energy to. yanno. actually do smth about that#ah iām a dickhead fr#but then again iām genuinely not ready to be in a relationship lol got what a shit show that would be#first time in a while that i havenāt been thinking abt my ex all the time#but that happened before and went to shit again very unlikely to stay this wayš«”#*grabbing my own little face and staring into my eyes* my brother in christ u got 4 hours sleep and worked longer than u thought u would#just got to sleep
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