#cuz the writing is giving Sixteen Year Old Wrote This

[neon-danger]

Kinda redundant but have you read any good Jalex lately? I’ve been looking everywhere but I’m at that point of scraping the bottom of the barrel and re reading stories I’ve already read

I’ve been on a sterek kick actually so I got nothin

[pwblogarchive]

February 2008

February 3, 2008

“Try lying for a change, it's the currency of the world.”

its oddly haunting the way that sometimes entries from a year ago can reflect perfectly how i feel today.

its like an echo sent out over the weeks and months and pages of the calendar.

not always but sometimes.

a few weeks ago i considered mentioning the fact that while i once wrote "every new years is worse than the last" i didnt feel that way anymore

oh eight had broken the january curse

now im glad i didnt

cuz i realized it might not have

it may have just pushed it back a month

or extended it, depending on how this all looks on play-back

i find it a bit odd to be waiting for retrospect

Posted by xoat 10:41 PM

February 12, 2008

“honestly, afraid. i cant ever sleep either.”

Put the the planets in swing

Make jupiter sing

The afternoon light

Ignites

The back of my head

Spend years trying to cloud our head and not feel a thing

Just to turn around and erase the clouds so we can remember everything

Throw handcuffs on that boy

When the check comes he never pays

His cheekbones carve my moods

He shakes like a leaf

He's clicking like an old answering machine

He howls at the moon

He's breathes wet thru insect eyes

Canyon lights at night chase away the boring days

And I don't worry about death because I've seen the date I'm gonna die and its so far away.

Posted by xoat 1:55 AM

February 16, 2008

“part two (i forget so much of what i write its beginning to scare me).”

hes a lonely planet

dont stir and wake

everythings ok

give or take

the cats got the canary spinning in its ribcage

did i mention i came dressed for the intervention

(and if you were dying soon would you try to find snow in the deep summer

the june bugs dancing in wonder

and i still wonder now

if my words will stil turn you inside out)

hes a honeyjar

with that pretty face, lets never lose the lid

and keep those rosey lips in

(he breathes wet through insect eyes)

in multiples of four, no less than sixteen

sandmans been showing his beam

when he walks into a room the walls lean in to listen

keep a calendar this way youll know the last time you came through

oh.

"i know what youre going through"

well i dont- its more of a "paper or plastic" grocery store choice to me

but ill sympathize with anything to get through to you

do you know what its like to watch reruns of yourself night after night

to offer nothing and expect everything in return

to cock your head just right to appear arrogantly humble

if we hurry well make the morning edition

cos everybody likes to read the bad news

theyve tapped the phone be very careful what you say

speak in code about singing birds and sleepy eyed women

his heads a junkyard for rusted midnight thoughts

hes criminally carefree

when the pills swallow the worry

hes digging like forty nine

hes making you press rewind

hes a thunderstorm so bright you shut your eyes

he is a hurricane

Posted by xoat 3:15 AM

February 18, 2008

“mc hammer and miss piggy bank”

i get bright ideas in dark rooms

red rooster combs on our head

we are galaxies

a catipillar that got stuck

mr moth come quick with any luck

long walk in a dark house

a roman candle heart

keep us far apart

tour is just thinking you have been in every hotel, club or truck stop before.

it is deja vu personified.

all full of love so much that my teeth are floating.

February 19, 2008

“the oxidation of Joan of Arc.”

the mind drinks less and less.

impatience.

highways full of crowds going somewhere, somewhere, somewhere, nowhere.

The gasoline refugee.

Towns turn into motels,

people in nomadic surges from place to place,

following the moon tides,

living tonight in the room where you slept this noon and I the night before.

Posted by xoat 12:31 AM

[viisator]

My letters to you : to remember Masterlist teaser

Lee Heeseung

Unsaid farewells

you have been loving Lee Heeseung, the only guy that has ever stole your heart away, you thought you were meant forever, you thought you'd be with him endless, you thought you'd both grow old until your heads are all gray and white, until you can't walk anymore, until you both close your eyes; but why did he left you with unspoken good byes. You always think after he left, that if only you were the one who had lay in those white dull bed, if only he didn't get sick, or if only you were there when he was about to close those beautiful eyes of his, but you were there stuck in your room, too scared to see him leave; so after a year of grieving, you finally found a way to move on and that's to write those unsaid good byes you failed to tell him that day.

Park Jeongseong

If only you knew

You have this friend who gives you signs but ended up dating your best friends. Park Jeongseong always stare at with star-like eyes, Park Jeongseong secretly hold you're hands though you're aware of it, Park Jeongseong greets you every day, Park Jeongseong say Ilys' on texts, Park Jeongseong take you out on Friday nights, Park Jeongseong gives you chocolate on valentines', Park Jeongseong's very touchy with you, but he like Luna...He was doing that to get your best friend Luna...You don't blame her, your best friend, you didn't tell her you like him, she's not aware you like him, she's an idiot after all, and so you are. " well I guess before I go, I gotta tell him...".

Sim Jeayun

Sixteen roses

Sim Jeayun have been giving you flowers for the start of your sixteen days until your birthday, Jake is the best friend of your brother since they were little, and you happen to love him and him loving you, until your sixteenth birthday is coming and he's suddenly at your door giving you roses everyday, you always think why don't he just do this when you're eighteen, but the last day, your birthday, the last rose came, but he never did; years later you finally see him, you almost see him everywhere, but he's already out of reach. So you wrote him a letter.

Park Sunghoon

A frozen lake

throughout the tiring hell-like day, you always go to this lake somewhere in the mountain where people don't go often, and there's this boy who's always sitting under a tree, looking seriously in the water waiting for them to freeze; sometimes you start a conversation with him, but most of the times both of you are quite until you fond yourself looking in his deep dark eyes that's waiting for the snow to come, then you just can't stop thinking about him, you go to the lake not to relax anymore, you now go there to look in his dreamy eyes until the snow came, and the lake's finally frozen, you kept waiting for him cuz you know this is what he's waiting of all this time, but you never see him again.

Kim Sunoo

Mr. Stranger

like any other fan girls, we can't help but to have a crush on our idols; but it suddenly became deeper and it's hurting you in the end, you are aware of it that he's out of reach, but you still can't help of dreaming about him with a house, and happy family and you can't help of dreaming of you with him for your dear life, and it only led you to tear up every night until you finally fall asleep, and one day, you tell him through letters about your feelings.

Yang Jungwon

Ballroom and your eyes

Yang Jungwon and you have been partners when it comes to dancing, swaying dance partners, with both others hardship, there were times when you both cry at each others shoulders and laugh with each other; until those looks are unexplainable for you both, and then there's this unspoken ache in your heart whenever you see him dance with his prom date; and when the time comes, when you can finally tell him, it was finally too late.

Nishimura Riki

Our little oak tree

You always see your classmate in every four pm under your favorite spot at the tall oak tree somewhere up the hill, you play there, you talk there, you share secrets there, and you fell in love there; you both became best friends, and until you grew up together, sharing classes, graduate middle school and highschool with each other; your love for him grew, but you have no courage to tell him, all you could do was look at him with the whole galaxy inside your eyes, wishing if only he likes you back, until he found the prettiest girl, the love of his life, like what he address her, and all your heart can do was break, so you make letters, writing how much you love him day by day, writing how beautiful he is, how enchanting he is, and how it pains you so much, until you finally reached your end and write your last letter under those big, but always little oak tree where you told each other your little secrets.

Taglist request here

Masterlist

Viisator © 2022

[theprodigypenguin]

yo dude so like what do you think regulus’ profession would be in a nobody dies and everybody’s happy au

I wrote out a whole answer but Tumblr wouldn’t let me post it so here we go again VERSION 2.0!

Okay, so I’m super glad you asked this because frankly I think about Regulus Black about 80 times a day and that’s like way too much, but I have a super thought out version of the Regulus Lives AU concept because it’s one of my favorite things ever. So lemme just try and write this whole fucking thing out AGAIN fuck you tumblr. We know so little about his character aside from the tiny pieces we learn between Sirius, Kreacher, and the tiny minuscule bit we learn from Slughorn, so be aware the majority of this is my personal opinion that I’ve come up with based on my own headcanons and you in NO WAY have to agree with me at all! This is just one headcanon, and if you have a different idea then you are SUPER FUCKING VALID OKAY?!?! I just wanted to make that clear. This is my opinion on Regulus and it is completely okay if you have a different one!

So in the beginning I think Regulus would want to go into Professional Quidditch after Hogwarts. I like to imagine that he was part of his House Team for a reason, that he was really, really fucking good at playing the Seeker position. AT first I think he must have joined his house team because maybe that’s what was expected of him, but when he first started flying he got the same rush of adrenaline we see in Harry, this burst of freedom and possibility and pure raw talent. When he got up in the air there was no Black family, there was no expectation or blood purity, no abusive negligent parents or a brother who hated him, there was just air and sky and him. In general I firmly maintain the belief that the Black family, while lunatics, were just born talented. They were good at pretty much everything they tried. Is it a family trait? Who fucking knows? Not me that’s for sure. The Black family were insane, that’s canon, but all of them were brutally talented. I mean, Walburga charmed her portrait onto the wall of her home and NO ONE can break it? Like, damn. So when Regulus gets on a broom, he’s a fucking natural, and it’s the ONE thing that makes him feel free, that makes him feel like he has a CHOICE in his life. Back when he was just a kid, he didn’t know any better: Sirius could become the head of the Black house and Regulus could go do whatever he wanted, and he wanted to be a Quidditch player. Going into the professional league would give him his own steady income, his own name and popularity, he’d be entirely financially independent and old enough to completely cut ties with his parents, just do what he LOVED.

But, fate had other plans. Sirius ran away at sixteen and suddenly Regulus was next in line as the Black heir, a title he never wanted in the first place. In addition to that, I really believe he was forced into taking the Dark Mark. I have this image in my head that Bellatrix, Rabastian, and Rodolphus held him in place while it was done while he struggled against them. He really had no choice. Then later on he defies Voldemort and drinks the Emerald Potion in order to swap the Horcruxes.

Now, we don’t really have any actual canon evidence of WHAT happens to the people who consume the Drink of Despair. We can’t exactly take Kreacher for a good example since he’s not a human, he’s a House Elf, his body is entirely different compared to a human’s because he’s basically another species. Both wizards who canonly drank the Drink of Despair died before we could see if there were any long lasting side effects, but personally I headcanon that seeing as it was a POISON that was created by one of the most powerful and dangerous dark wizards of all time? Yeah, there were some side effects.

Nothing huge, most notably having respiratory problems, easily getting dehydrated and not retaining water properly, common fatigue and exhaustion, probably migraines and a constant lingering sense of fear or terror. The brain chemistry is tweaked, insomnia, nightmares, etc. Because of this, Regulus can’t exactly go into the professional leagues. He physically cannot handle the strain, his health is too fragile now.

So after escaping the cave, being a Black, Regulus would be too stubborn to just lie down on this fact. He’d start to look immediately for a cure. There is none of course, because Voldemort created the Emerald Potion, it’s a completely unknown potion. So Regulus starts researching, potions and medicine and anything that might be able to cure him or at least alleviate the side effects of the poison. It’s already canon that Slughorn thought fondly of Regulus, so we may as well assume he was a decent student in Potions Class right? After a couple years of hard research (after Voldemort first “dies”), Regulus would make a name for himself as one of the best potioneers around, regularly compared to Slughorn and even Fleamont Potter (Sirius and James have absolutely no idea how to respond when people say this, should they be offended, should they be proud, wtf is that little shit doing making potions????). He’s fucking GOOD. He never manages to find a cure for whatever it is he has now (I’ll give it a cool name one of these days, like the Emerald Plague or something idfk), but he creates other potions and becomes a regularly sought after potioneer. Regulus normally always helps when people come to him because honestly he really likes helping people.

During those 14 years between Voldemort’s disappearance and reappearance I imagine Regulus goes out for coffee with Slughorn sometimes, Snape will send HIM letters asking for advice cuz Regulus is just that good, he’s probably the kind of guy who’d make Wolfsbane Potion for free (takes him some time to get rid of those prejudices, but he manages to shake them eventually).

In the end, after the second war ends with the Battle of Hogwarts, I headcanon that Regulus takes over Snape and Slughorn’s old job as the Potions Professor at Hogwarts. Dumbledore offered him the position in the past but he turned him down because Regulus does NOT fucking like him. He can’t say no to McGonogall though, after she takes over as Headmistress and offers the job to him. So he’s the Potion Master in my mind!

Sorry that was so long, as you can tell, I really love this little bitch, I hope you enjoyed my rant!

[lakinda5654]

~~~~A Girl and  God~~~~ Chapter 16- Silence

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A Girl and A God is a RATED M Loki Fanfic with an original character, Alexa, who is taken in by Tony Stark after the revelation of abilities of her own. There’s sex, romance, heartbreak, action, fluff, angst, all that good stuff. Full description in blog, and a jump-to-chapter list if you just want the smut or the cuteness bits. Enjoy <3 

Chapter Summary: Despite recovering from the past 3 days of events, Alexa manages to make a new friend, and later that night, decides to give Loki one last chance...

Contains: cute friendship, the plot gets thicc

Word Count: 2,391

~Previous Chapter~~Next Chapter~

~~Beginning of Story~~

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When Alexa woke, her eyes fluttered open to the sight of Loki’s cell. He was awake, staring up at the blank ceiling. She recalled everything that had happened, but her head still felt clouded. She longed to hold him in her arms and know what was going on, why had he run…

“Hey”

A voice that wasn’t hers or Loki’s shocked her out of her thoughts. She gasped and scrambled back, failing to gain traction with her one palm against the silky sheets on a polished concrete floor.

 It was Peter. He was sitting awkwardly several feet away, by the entrance to the cell hall. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you! I was just wandering around and I got the memo about what happened yesterday and I wanted to see how bad Loki’s arm was which I guess was stupid cuz its all bandaged up but then I saw you and I wasn't sure when you'd wake up so I waited for a bit cuz maybe you’d wanna talk or have help putting your bed back or-”

“It’s ok Peter…” as she sat up, her head began to throb. “You scared the shit out of me though.” She rubbed her forehead, suddenly realizing the embarrassing situation she was in. How could she explain why she was sleeping outside Loki’s cell?

“I was um, my room was too hot and I…”

“It’s okay.” Peter was smiling. “You don’t need to do that. I get it. When I had a concussion a couple years ago I did some craaazy stuff in my sleep too. Oh like this one time I went to the fridge to get something to eat and poured some milk but I forgot the cup and it went everywhere and, sorry for scaring you though.” He awkwardly looked around, as if he needed to ask her something but wasn’t sure how to get there.

It was now that Alexa realized that though Peter was younger than her, he was the closest person to her age here.

“I heard about your head and arm and stuff. Tony told us what happened.” He said. “You seriously flew a skateboard?”

“What? Oh, yeah I did. Didn’t go too well”

She felt embarrassed still. The urge to explain away her stupidity overwhelmed her. Before she could speak though, Peter did.

“I mean you still did it, I mean come on that had to be the coolest thing! How fast did you go? Were you like standing on it like a surfboard or like hanging on like a hang glider?”

Oh my god. That’s what he wanted to know about, that’s why he was here. This sixteen-year-old boy had come down here and waited for her to wake up, just to hear the story of how she piloted a skateboard over New York.

It felt good. He didn’t care that she was an idiot, that perusing Loki was undoubtedly a bad decision, he didn’t care about any of that. Because she flew a god damn skateboard.

After a brief pause, Alexa started laughing, and Peter followed suit.

“Yeah, you know what,” she said between chuckles, “I sat on the skateboard like a horse right, cuz I’ve never even used a skateboard. And it started beelining across New York like I was in a freaking wormhole.” She was laughing with her words. “I flew a skateboard that when it got where I wanted to be, launched me into a fucking tree.” Peter’s eyes brightened. “Oh my god!” he giggled in his young, boyish voice. They both suddenly were in a laughing fit. It felt so good. The previous day was so beyond shitty and making a joke of it somehow made it feel like she’d be okay. Still laughing, Peter pulled out his phone. “Wait wait wait I got it,” he said.

She looked at him. “What??” She was still laughing. He held up one finger, showing her to wait. Their laughter died down a bit, and she checked her phone. Then after a minute, Peter was cracking up again. He couldn’t stop. “WHAT PETER OH MY GOD” he turned his phone to her.

He literally made a fucking meme. It showed a picture of the Lion King scene, with the monkey labeled “a fucking flying skateboard” and the lion baby labeled “u” and the next pic had the lion being chucked through the air, with YEET written across the sky.

Why that was so funny, she couldn’t explain. But Peter and her sat there laughing until tears stained her cheeks. It was one of those moments where the second you stopped laughing, you’d look at each other and immediately lose control again. It went on for far longer than it should have.

“Ok ok come on,” Peter said, holding his stomach. “Let’s get your stuff back up to your room.”

“Oh, I can just send it” Alexa replied.

He looked at her, confused for a moment before his eyes widened as she flicked her wrist and everything on the floor rolled itself into a ball and shot out of the hall and into the stairwell.

There was a moment of silence

“Well ok, sure you can just tell stuff what to do that’s cool, totally cool, that’s fine.” He said, and it was clear he was trying to keep his composure and not completely lose his shit over what he just saw. “I’m going to go to breakfast. You coming or does the breakfast just come to you is that how that all works...”

Alexa paused and looked in at Loki alone in his cell. “I’ll be there in a bit”

“Okay sounds good,” Peter said and he trotted quickly out of the hall, breakfast outweighing the confusion of what he’d just seen in his mind.

As soon as she knew she was alone, she went to press the speech button, then stopped. She looked at his face, as he stared at the ceiling evidently thinking of something. She didn’t want to do this through a wall. She wanted to wait until tonight. She’d open his door and they could really talk, the way that they should.

The day felt long. Loki was obviously not at the group meals anymore, Clint seemed to be giving Tony an “I told you so” vibe with everything he did. Most of her day was spent in her suite, watching tv or resting her aching head and shoulder. She also had a good number of bruises and scrapes from her fall that she kept tending to throughout the day.

That night at dinner, Tony stood up to make an announcement. “Ok, I get you’re all pissed about his escape. I do. It’s reasonable. He’s not coming to meals anymore. But we are making some changes as an additional precaution. After checking cameras it looks like he escaped by using illusion to look like a civilian and conjuring a fake guard after dinner to escort him that night. What I’ve come to find out,” Stark paused. “Is that that particular ability is stopped whenever an electrical shock is administered. Even a small one.” He explained. “So, I’ve come up with this.” He pressed a button and a projection shot up at the head of the table. “It’s like a doorframe that administers many minor shocks so small that you can’t feel them. They’ll be at every exit and entrance to this building we’ve got. It won’t only be for Loki, any small electrical device such as a bomb will also be detected and deactivated.” Tony continued to explain the technology, but most of his in-depth explanations went over her head. Lastly, he said they were adding more security guards to the exits and entrances as well. Alexa waited for the presentation to be over, and quietly left as soon as it was.

Midnight of that evening arrived, and she was well prepared to speak to Loki again. She’d thought through what he’d done, and what she wanted to know. She had her notebook with her, and she wrote down all of the questions she needed answers to. Alexa wasn’t good with confrontation, and once she saw his face again she would probably forget everything she meant to speak with him about if she didn’t have it in front of her.

it was possible that what he said was true, that he despised her... but this entire week had been so upside down, she had to give him another chance. Just one more.

When she reached his cell just after midnight, she looked inside and melted. He was crying. He was holding his head in his hands and crying. She first pressed the communications button. “Loki?”

He jumped, wiping the tears from his face. He immediately got up and ran to the one-way wall, and looked into it, looking desperate, then he did something even weirder.

 He held up his bracelet to his mouth and replied coarsely. “When will you learn to leave me alone!” Then he lowered his wrist and shook his head, his eyes filled with tears.

Oh my god. The bracelet isn’t just a tracker.

Loki held up a finger to his lips. 

It was listening. It was recording what he said.

She let go of the com button and watched him. He then pointed to the door, holding a finger to his lips, looking desperately at the wall that he could not see her through. After punching in the key code, she quietly opened the door.

Loki immediately hugged her. She grimaced. He was too rough on her shoulder. It was then that he looked at her and realized her injury. He ran his hand gently on her forearm and looked at how it hung delicately in the white sling. 

Loki was no longer crying, he looked livid. He saw her notebook in her other arm and quickly snatched it from her and sat down. She followed his lead and sat in front of him, holding the door with her body. He made a writing motion with his hand. 

Alexa shoved her hands into her pockets violently and found a single, almost broken pencil. She quickly gave it to him. So much of what was happening already made so much more sense and their silent conversation began.

He saw her list of questions and looked up at her, and turned the notebook over to a blank page. He scribbled quickly, then handed the notebook back to her.

“Who did this to you?”

The fact that that’s why he was angry and that it was the first thing he wanted to know made Alexa feel something, but she had so many feelings right now that she couldn’t process that one, so she shoved it down.

She wrote back. “No one. I crashed when I was trying to ride something using telekinesis.” She turned the notebook to face him. That was the truth. He didn’t need to know that the only reason she was forced to try that was to search for him right now.

He looked skeptical. Then Alexa turned the notebook back to her list of questions, looking at what one she wanted him to answer first. Before she could choose, Loki took the book from her hands, flipped a page as quietly as he could, and then wrote, “can I explain”

Alexa nodded, her heart racing. She waited as he sat there, writing vigorously as if his life depended on it.

When he handed it back to Alexa, everything she needed to know was understood. How he was being listened to, how he was forbidden to speak to her, how Tony had threatened to send you elsewhere. How he was being shocked if he tried to tell her the truth. The story of the day he ran, how he created an illusion guard that escorted him out of the tower instead of to his cell. How he shape-shifted into a normal-looking citizen and was trying desperately to find a way to remove the bracelet. Melting wouldn’t work given that the prongs that sunk into his skin were along the entire thing. He thought maybe if he could smash it, it would release its grips in his flesh. Nothing was working as he slammed his wrist against a rock in Central Park. When he could hear the sound of the Avengers tower alarm in the distance is when he panicked. He began clawing at his wrist desperately trying to rip the thing off of his flesh before Tony came. How he was given shocks rapidly until he blacked out from the pain.

Alexa looked at him, and the bracelet. He was no longer looking at her through tears but through determination. A look of, “what’s the plan?” First, she wrote down “I’m sorry”

Now there were tears on her face. She’d been angry with him, for acting that way when he had no other choice.

He reached out his hand and wiped a tear away with his thumb, shaking his head. His face read “it’s not your fault”

But she couldn’t help but feel that it was. She was the one who was trying to free him in the first place.

Her waves of emotion turned from sadness and pity to anger. No. This was not her fault. It was Tony’s. She had never more wanted to cause someone pain in her entire life. He lied to her, blatantly, and tortured the person she cared for.

Loki’s face had returned to one of urgency. What would they do? What could they do?

After thinking for a moment, she wrote down. “I could try to remove it”

Loki looked at her and raised his eyebrows. Then looked at the bracelet, still wrapped under bandages.

He couldn’t remove it with his power because all he could do was move it. She could command it to release… but what would happen then? Would an alarm sound? Would Tony know the thing had been disconnected…

They were both wondering the same things. Loki could tell by her expression. But he held out his wrist and nodded, his eyes on the floor, thinking of the pain to come. This would not be easy, and he knew it. She knew it too. But what other choice did they have? She refused to let Tony have this power over him any more.