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ifancyharry · 8 months

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Routine - Bad Habit (3)

in which YN spends the night - officially - for the first time, but Harry's daughter isn't really happy about that; fluff; angst; smut; dad!harry

wc: 5.9k

can be read as a stand alone, but if you want to understand more read Bad Habit (1) and (2)

“Hi.” Harry greets her as soon as he opens the door, smiling the same smile YN has been in love with since she was 20 years old.

“Hi.” She repeats his word as a form of greeting, and despite the shortness of it, nothing needs to be added, because the excitement they both transpire can be felt in the air between them.

This would be the first time YN officially spent the night. Of course, she’d stayed over many times in the two months they had been dating, but never officially. She’d always leave before Aidi could find her tangled in Harry’s sheets, and it had been fine at first. She hated waking up early, but she’d do whatever she could to reassure Aidi’s well being.

YN doesn’t know why all of a sudden Harry was eager to invite her over. He told her he felt ready, and she had felt excited despite feeling the fear of how his daughter would react.

Harry told her that he wouldn’t tell her right away, YN would just stay over and they’d see from there how it went. Of course, his nonchalance hadn’t gone unnoticed by YN, that on the other hand felt nervous about it all and would’ve much rather he told Aidi she would at least spend the night. But, she figured, she wasn’t a parent, and she couldn’t possibly know what was best for Aidi, so she had agreed to follow his plan with enthusiasm.

“Everything okay?” He asks when he sees she hasn’t moved from her spot.

“Just a little bit nervous” she shrugs, tightening the grip around the handle of her duffle bag.

“I see I still have tha’ effect on yah?” He chuckles, opening his lips in a teasing smirk.

“Shut up! ‘S not because of you”

“I know” he says, and his eyes soften at the sight of the girl in front of him, all shy and anxious about something that he thinks is so natural. “‘M just teasing. Everything’s gonna be okay”

She sighs at his words and takes a step closer to him, “ugh, I know… just want it to be perfect”

“‘S already perfect with you here” he smiles, grabbing her upper arm and tugging her closer to him. He circles her back with his arm and squeezes her against his chest, holding her tight in a soothing embrace.

“You’re perfect” she sighs once again, inhaling the pleasing scent of his fabric softener lingering on his hoodie.

YN still can’t believe he is hers.

“C’mon let’s go inside, yeah?”

“Mmhmm” she nods against the fabric of his sweatshirt.

Once Harry closes the front door behind him, he takes YN’s duffle bag from her hands and tells her to follow him upstairs.

“Where’s Aidi?” She asks.

“In her room”

“Is she… does she know I’m here?”

She watches as he nods his head, and she wonders for a moment if there’s something wrong going on. Is Aidi upset? Is it too soon?

“Harry…” she whispers once they enter his room, “maybe it’s too soon. We should have-“

“YN.” He interrupts her, a serious look adorning his gentle features, “I told you already everything is fine.”

“Okay” she nods doubtfully, not really convinced by his words.

He tosses her bag on his bed and after he turns around to face her. He takes her hand in his and squeezes it to reassure her. He knows how she is. How much she worries, but that’s the very same reason why he’s so sure about this. He knows she cares about Aidi very much, and he thinks she’ll be good for his daughter, even if it takes her some time getting used to having another person around more.

YN follows Harry out of his room, and, once they reach Aidi’s door, she watches as he gently knocks on it.

“Aidi?” He asks, opening the door and peeking his head inside. “Hi bug” he says softly, and YN feels herself melt at the interaction. He’s so gentle, so sweet. He makes her feel warm, like the first spring sun shining on her skin after a cold winter.

He opens the door wider and YN spots Aidi laying on her bed, her ballerina bunny squeezed under her chin. She lights up as soon as she sees her dad, and she nods timidly when Harry asks her if she was asleep.

“I was really tired, daddy” she mumbles, knuckling at her eyes sleepily.

“Tha’s okay” he reassures. “‘S almost time to eat dinner”

YN watches from the door jamb, unsure on what to do. She doesn’t want to interfere in their moment, still feeling a bit unease at the situation.

“Do you want to say hi to YN?” Harry asks when Aidi gets up from the bed.

She shakes her head no. “I already said at school”.

YN bites hard on her bottom lip. She knew it would be hard.

Harry furrows his brows and looks at his daughter, confused by her behavior. She loves YN. She always talks about how nice she is and how she’s so happy she’s his friend so he doesn’t really know where this is coming from. He figures she’s just grumpy from being woken up.

YN, on the other hand, thinks this is going to be harder than they thought.

…

It’s a little bit later in the evening, and despite the abrupt start, things seem calmer now. Aidi had played with her dolls while she watched cartoons on the tv, and YN had helped Harry with setting the table for dinner.

She thinks it’s nice. Settling into a routine and sharing it with them. She’s always been kind of alone, and she’s always thought of herself as more of a loner, but maybe she’s been wrong all along and this is where she was actually destined to be.

“Aidi?” Harry calls from inside the kitchen.

YN smiles fondly once she sees Aidi walking towards them with a pep in her step, she seems fine, until Harry asks her what she wants to eat, because nothing seems of her liking.

“Noooo daddy I don’ like that!” she protests when Harry shows her the package of pasta he intended on cooking.

“But you’ve always liked it! You looove when granny makes it for yah!”

“Yeah” she gives him a firm nod, “but yeh’re not granny”

YN has to refrain herself from laughing at them. She wonders if she’s like this everyday or she’s putting on a show just because she’s there.

“Uggh fine, then. How about…” he looks through the cupboard to see what other thing he could cook, he picks up another package of pasta, shaped like butterflies this time, and holds it in front of her, but Aidi shakes her head disgusted once again.

He moves toward the fridge then, taking out some chicken and showing it to her, but “noooo” she protests.

“Wha’s gotten into yah!” He sighs discouraged.

“I’m sorry” he mouths to YN, to which she replies with a knowing smile.

Harry opens the door to the freezer and YN spots a package of chicken nuggets inside, and she points to them trying to hide her gesture from Aidi, not sure whether she could eat that kind of food.

“She usually doesn’t like them” he shrugs, but when he takes out the package to show it to her, Aidi starts jumping excitedly in her place, “yes! Yes! Daddy want them, pleaseee”.

“But-“ he’s about to protest, but he feels it’s actually pointless to argue with a child, so he sighs and: “fine!”

“Make them crispyyy please daddy” she says seriously, but when YN erupts in an uncontrolled laughter, Aidi starts giggling too.

Harry joins in on their laughter, but his is more of a disbelieving one, amazed by his daughter’s behavior.

Once dinner is ready, Harry, YN and Aidi all sit at the small table in the living room.

Harry fills his and YN’s glasses with the most prestigious red wine he had, and he serves first Aidi (the chicken nuggets with looots of ketchup), then YN (the special pasta his mother taught him to make and that’s the only fancy thing he knows how to make — but, honestly, YN was fine with everything. Even if it meant eating dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets).

The air around them is quiet, there’s a comfortable silence between them, and YN feels happy. Like she belongs. She looks at Aidi tenderly when she hears the quiet humming of what she recognizes is a cartoon’s theme song, and she watches as the little girl dips her nugget in what seems to be way too much ketchup for only a small piece, and when YN raises her glance from Aidi’s plate, she realizes Harry is looking at her with one of the softest looks on his face she’s ever seen. He smiles sweetly at her, but, as opposed to how he used to always avert his gaze when they were still in college — embarrassed she’d catch on the crush he’d always had on her, he doesn’t look away.

‘What?’ She mouths, worried she might have something on her face or that he wants to tell her something without his daughter hearing, but he just shakes his head.

‘Pretty’ he mouths back, and his eyes do that thing YN loves, they twinkle like the brightest of the lights, the warmest shade of green she’s ever seen, like the grass on a chilly spring day, the feeling of seeing a bit of color after months of whiteness.

She bushes and looks down at her plate, still not used to his cheeky compliments.

After dinner, Harry takes out of the fridge the ice cream YN had brought, and when he opens it, he smiles fondly when he realizes she picked Aidi’s favorite flavors: chocolate and strawberry. In the same bag, there’s another tub of ice cream, much smaller, and when he opens it, to his surprise, he sees his favorite flavor: mint chocolate chip.

He knows now she remembers their ice cream runs after a long day of studying, but he’s genuinely surprised she would after so many years, and he thinks it feels nice. It’s nice having someone take care of you, even if it only means picking up your and your daughter’s favorite flavors of ice cream.

He comes back in the living room with the ice cream and three small bowls, and he places them on the table.

“Look what YN got you!” He smiles excitedly, hoping to spark some excitement in his daughter, since she’d been pretty quiet all throughout dinner.

“Ice cream!” She lights up, but when Harry shows her the flavors, she makes a disgusted face and pushes the tub out of her face.

“I don’t like chocolate”

YN, that had watched the encounter proudly, feels her face fall. She thoroughly remembers Aidi loves chocolate ice cream. She’d told her many times in class, and it was what she had asked that day Harry forgot to pick her up and YN had brought her to eat ice cream to distract her. Maybe she remembers wrong? She feels herself panic inside, because how could she have gotten it wrong! She’d been so careful while picking.

“But ’s your favorite!” Harry stresses, his brows furrowing on his forehead.

YN feels a little bit relieved at his words. At least she hadn’t gotten it wrong.

“No, it’s not” she shakes her head, grimacing.

“I’m so sorry, YN. I don’t know wha’s gotten into her” he apologizes, sitting back down in his chair, his shoulder sagging, he feels undefeated.

There’s no way Aidi doesn’t like chocolate ice cream, because he remembers she ate it two days before at his sister’s house, but he chooses not to tell YN that to not aggravate the situation more. He knows this is silly, because it’s just ice cream, but it’s then he realizes maybe everything isn’t okay and Aidi isn’t comfortable with having YN here.

He’s unsure on what to do, feeling conflicted about the situation.

He knows he should put his daughter’s feelings before his, but he also cares about YN, and he doesn’t want to push her away.

“Harry” he hears YN interrupt his train of thoughts, “maybe I remembered wrong. It’s no problem at all! Do you like mint chip?” She asks Aidi the last part, and her voice is soft.

Aidi nods, “’s daddy’s favorite”

YN smiles at her and then throws a quick glance at Harry, “really? You both have great taste then! You share that with your daddy and I’ll eat the other one, okay?”

“Okay” Aidi nods once again and leans forward on the table to pick up the tub of ice cream. She shows it to Harry to signal she wants it in the bowl, and he consents quietly.

Harry — too — realizes this is going to be harder than he thought.

…

Harry feels bad. Tonight hasn’t been what he thought, at all.

He had planned in his mind all the nice and fun things he wanted to do with both YN and Aidi, and maybe, he realizes just now, he had been wrong to assume Aidi wanted to do that. He understands it’s always been them. Since she was born, it’s always been the two of them, tucked away safely in the walls of their home, and Harry understands how she could feel now that YN is here as well.

He just feels bad, because he’d like to do some of those things with YN too. He’d like to eat breakfast with them, he’d like to watch a movie and cuddle them both under his arms, he’d like to kiss both of them goodnight, he’d like to snuggle with them in his bed until it’s inevitably time to get up. But how can he? Aidi is little, and she doesn’t understand what it means to share.

“What are you thinkin’ about?” He hears YN gently ask, and he shifts his gaze from the tv to her.

Aidi wanted to watch the new Little Mermaid movie (her favorite of the week), and she had demanded her daddy watched too. YN hadn’t minded, and she sat contently next to them, but only half an hour into the movie, Aidi had fallen asleep against Harry’s chest, his shirt crumbled between her little fingers as she held onto him, almost scared he’d leave her to sleep alone.

Harry leans his head on the backrest of the couch, he then turns it and looks at YN fondly. She’s so pretty now, her hair frame her face perfectly, and the glasses on her nose make her face look softer.

He shakes his head, wary of what she could say if he voiced his thoughts aloud, and when he sees her brows close in a furrow, he averts his gaze, his face facing the ceiling as he closes his eyes.

“Hey” she whispers, careful not to wake Aidi sleeping in his lap. When she realizes he isn’t opening his eyes, she raises her arm and rests it next to his face on the back of the couch. With delicate fingers she caresses the tender skin of his neck, below his ear, where she hears his pulse quicken.

“Harry, hey” she repeats, hoping to gain his attention, but she may have been a little too loud, because Aidi stirs in his lap and opens her eyes slowly.

“Hi, bug” he smiles down at her, his expression changing as soon as she woke up. “Let’s get yah to bed, yeah?”

He stands up from the couch and props Aidi on his hip, caressing her back gently to lull her back to sleep.

She falls asleep on his shoulder almost immediately, and YN raises on her feet quickly, placing a gentle and quiet kiss on her hair. Harry smiles at her and informs her he’d be putting Aidi to bed in her room.

YN turns off the tv and picks up the throw blanket to fold it, when she’s done she puts it on the couch and makes her way upstairs towards Harry’s room.

She sits on his bed and she waits for him, her heart beating fast against her ribcage. She wonders if she should leave. Is that what Harry is so scared to tell her? She’s sure he realized too that Aidi wasn’t comfortable with YN staying over.

She hears the door close quietly and she looks up immediately. She can feel her heart in her throat, convinced he wants to send her away.

Maybe it’s too soon.

Maybe he doesn’t want a relationship with someone his daughter doesn’t like.

Whatever the reason will be, she’s sure this will be their final conversation.

“Hi” he interrupts her train of thoughts.

“Hi”.

He walks towards her and stops in front of her, sitting between her open legs.

“Harry -“ she starts saying, but he interrupts her quickly: “Baby, I’m so sorry”.

“What?” she asks confused, “why are you saying sorry?”

“I thought… today was supposed to be different” he sighs. He raises both of his hands and cradles her face in his palms, caressing the skin of her cheeks with his thumbs.

“I’m sorry” he repeats, “I wanted to make a nice dinner and maybe go for a walk, and… I don’t know, maybe watch a movie but…”

“But we did!” YN chimes in, bringing her hands up to squeeze his wrists, “it was perfect”

“I know but… Aidi…” he says, shaking his head, panic lacing his voice.

“You don’t think she’s happy…”

“It’s not that… I’m just scared. I didn’t think it would be this difficult” he sighs. He feels guilty, and if there was any way he could have this conversation with her without hurting her, he would. But YN has also taught him to communicate his feelings, and he couldn’t just not tell her what was going on in his mind, how scared he is for his daughter and to cause her pain.

“Oh Harry” she shakes her head against his hands, biting down on her bottom lip so hard she thinks she can taste the blood. “She’s just little, and not used to… all of this. I think you should talk to her.”

“I don’t know how” he looks at her pleadingly.

“Just say how you feel. Start from there. She’s the most wonderful kid I know, she will understand.”

It’s when she says things like these that Harry remembers why he is so sure about YN. She loves him, and perhaps she loves his daughter more than she loves him. Her presence is crucial in both of their lives, and Aidi needs to know her. She needs to be around her, because Harry thinks there’s a part of how YN loves that only she could teach, and he wants Aidi to learn, he wants her to see her dad happy, and he wants her to understand that love is really all that matters.

He gives her a small smile, not big enough to show the dimples YN really loves, but enough for her heart to tighten in her chest.

“Everything’s going to be fine.” She whispers, before tilting her head upwards and placing a chaste kiss on his lips.

He dips his head forward and deepens the kiss, sighing into her mouth.

Despite the heavy weight on his chest, he’s really happy she’s here.

Her lips are soft against his, and he wants to drink her in, drown in her taste, like the sweetest summer fruit.

Her hands make their way up his arms, her fingers dipping into the cotton of his shirt, and once she reaches his shoulders, she pushes him down against her.

They both fall on the bed, and with the way she’s kissing him, YN hopes she can reassure him. She hopes he understands she’s here now, and he doesn’t have to do it alone. His tongue caresses hers, and his hands are everywhere on her body, holding onto her skin desperately.

He settles between her legs, and pushes his hips forward when she bites his bottom lip, his erection pushing hard against her center where she needs him the most.

“Harry” she says as soon as he moves his head to kiss down her neck, “we shouldn’t. You’re upset” she breathes.

“Mmh” he whimpers against the skin of her neck, “please” he begs, “i need you. I need you so much.”

She tugs at his hear and he raises his head from her neck, the sight of him almost making YN cum on the spot.

As opposed to how he always is in bed, dark and dominant, he looks soft and pleading, his eyes big and veiled with lust, his lips wet with spit and a particular shade of red mixed with purple.

“You’re the only one that can make me feel better” he whispers looking directly into her eyes.

“Okay” she nods, “okay”.

Harry buries his head back onto her neck and kisses the skin there gently.

His hands travel down to her jeans and he quickly unbuttons them, tugging them down her legs and then throwing them on the floor.

His movements are frantic and eager, but everything about him is soft, from the way his hands caress the skin of her stomach to the way his fingers shift her panties to the side to expose her. He dips his thumb between her folds, rolling tight circles on her clit a couple times. She sighs heavily, and she has to refrain herself from moaning.

When he sees that she’s wet enough, he holds his weight with one arm and with the other he tugs his own jeans down, followed by his boxers right after.

When his cock is finally freed from its restraint, he doesn’t waste a second before he slides it between her folds, coating it with her juices. She brings a hand to his cheek and tilts his head up so he can look into her eyes when he slips inside of her.

“Oh” she whimpers, and he’s quick to swallow her sounds with his own mouth, sighing into her while his hips drill into her.

She feels warm against him, and he finally feels the comfort he’d been looking for.

With gentle fingers he raises the fabric of her t-shirt and exposes more of her skin, his hand resting against her ribcage, under her side boob. With his thumb he pushes her bra up and finally frees her tits, his head dipping down to kiss all over the new exposed skin.

He takes her right nipple into his mouth and sucks on it lightly, soothing it right after with his tongue.

“Please” she moans quietly, arching her back and pushing her tits into is mouth.

“Shh, baby” he giggles, leaving her boobs and going back to her mouth, “fuck” he whispers against her lips, “gonna make me cum already”

She clenches around him, flattered that she could make him reach his high so quickly.

“Baby I need you to cum” he says, and he brings a hand down between them, drawing tight circles on her clit. He knows she’s close by the way her walls clench around him, but he needs her to come before him, so he brings his mouth back on her nipple, the left one this time, and bites on it gently.

With the stimulation on her clit and now on her nipple, YN knows it’s going to take her seconds to cum, and she brings a hand to clasp against her mouth when he gives a particularly harsh thrust that makes her come on the spot. She sees stars and all her body trembles as Harry keeps moving his hips with the pace that made her cum, never taking his hand off her clit.

He parts from her nipple and when he sees her face beginning to contort in discomfort, he pulls his cock put of her and with a few tugs he comes against her stomach, his sticky liquid coming in spurts out of his slit.

“Fuck” he groans, giving another few thrusts against his hand.

When he’s done, he falls on the bed next to her, lifting his arm so she can squeezing in against his side.

She rests her head on his chest, and she can hear his heart beating hard against his chest. She almost falls asleep right there, lulled by the sound of his heart beating loud for her, but: “thank you. I love you”, he whispers against her hair delivering a soft kiss against her hairline.

She chuckles against the skin of his chest, placing a kiss there “i love you too”.

…

“I got more of that cream yeh like… the one made with wine”

They’re both still in their towel, the bathroom foggy from the steam of the hot water.

“Harry!!! Thank you!” She exclaims, “you didn’t have to” she beams at him, tucking her bottom lip between her teeth as he shows the cream to her.

“I wanted to” he smiles, leaning down to kiss the side of her head.

This is what he has longed for all his life, always feeling like there was something missing from him. The comfortableness of sharing his routine with the person he loves the most.

They stand side by side in front of the sink, their naked shoulders touching, and YN massages the cream onto her skin while Harry brushes his teeth.

When he’s done, YN hands him the cream and “want?”

He nods, and, “you put it for me” he says, closing his eyes immediately and bringing his hand up to swat away a couple of curls from his forehead.

YN grins widely and she sprinkles a little bit of cream on the palm of her fingers. She rubs them together to warm the cream, and then she raises on her tips to massage it onto Harry’s face.

She’s delicate in doing so, rubbing his cheeks gently and then under his eyes, his nose and all the way down to his chin. He looks serious but relaxed at the same time, and YN rubs at his temples a little to ease what could be left of the tension he felt before.

He sighs dreamily and once she’s done, she rubs the remaining cream on his neck, and then she places a kiss on his lips, “all done”.

“Thank you baby” he smiles, leaning down to give her another kiss. And another. And another, until she’s giggling against his lips.

“Shh” he shushes her, placing another soft kiss against her lips.

“I’m so tired” YN says, knuckling at her eyes.

“Yeah… let’s go to bed, yeah?”

Once they reach his room, they both slip into their pajamas and hurry to get to bed, the tiredness of the day catching up to the both of them.

YN asks what side of the bed Harry sleeps on (the one near the door) and YN gets in beside him. She can smell the fabric softener of his cleaned sheets (that Harry had changed before they got in the shower), and she burrows herself more into the comforter, hiding her face under it.

“Where are yah!” He whispers, and when he hears her giggle, he raises the comforter over his head and joins her under the covers.

“Hi” he says once he’s face to face with her, the mint scent of his toothpaste tickling her nose. She looks extremely soft, her skin dewy from the cream and her eyes droopy with sleep.

“Hi” she repeats, moving closer to him. She rests her head on the palm of her hand, and she looks up at him dreamily. Harry feels a little claustrophobic from the lack of oxygen and the heaviness of the comforter over their heads, but he has to admit it’s comforting, being with her like this. Close.

“Thank you for giving me this” she whispers, shifting her gaze form one of his eyes to the other.

She hopes he understands what she means, because YN doesn’t mean the cream, the dinner, or the sex. She means a family. A routine. Something to look forward to at the end of the day when she feels exhausted. She knows now as long as she has Harry and Aidi she will never feel alone, and she will never have to question herself, how she did all those years ago in college when she would wonder what was wrong with her that made her so unlovable.

…

The next morning, Harry wakes up at around seven o’clock, too early for a Saturday morning, and he casts a glare towards YN that is sleeping soundly next to him.

When he realizes what time it is by looking at his phone, he understands something is missing. Aidi isn’t awake.

She usually wakes him up at around half past six by jumping on his bed, and then falls asleep almost immediately on his chest, clutching her stuffed bunny protectively to her side.

The possibility that she’s still asleep is very slim, and he decides to check on her, not without leaving a kiss on YN’s head before.

When he reaches Aidi’s room, he opens the door and frowns sadly at his daughter. She’s awake, lying on her bed still under the covers, talking quietly with her stuffed bunny.

“Hi bug” he whispers, “g’morning!”

“Hi” she says in a small voice, but she doesn’t raise her gaze to look at him. He knows she’s still upset.

“Why didn’t y’come wake me up?”

When she shrugs, he walks towards her bed, and with his hand he gestures for her to scooch over a little so he can lay down next to her.

He lays his head on her pillow and looks at her. She’s still sleepy, her eyes laced with sleep and her hair ruffled and curly. Her pajama top has shifted a little to expose the soft skin of her tummy, and Harry adjusts it to cover her.

“Cinna” Harry addresses her stuffed bunny once he realizes Aidi doesn’t want to talk to him yet, “why’s Aidi sad?”

Aidi pets the bunny’s ears and keeps her eyes forward, not looking at her dad.

“Is it because YN is here?” He asks gently, whispering as if it was a secret between them.

Aidi wraps her small fingers around the bunny’s neck and makes it nod its head. Harry smiles sadly at her, his chest aching at the sight of his daughter hurting, and him being the cause of that pain.

His sudden reaction is to just reassure her and he wonders if YN would understand if he told her to wait a little before coming over again, but then he remembers what she told him: that Aidi is smart and she will understand if he talks about his feelings. He figures it’s worth a try.

So, “Come here, bug” he says, stretching out his arm so she can rest her head on his chest.

It takes a while to convince her but after a little bit she shifts and places her cheek on his chest, holding her bunny tight under her chin.

“My baby” he coos, petting the hair out of her face, “just because YN is here it doesn’t mean we can’t do what we always do!”

He hears her sigh loudly through her nose and he understands she isn’t really convinced by his words.

“It doesn’t change the love I have for you” he says, but she’s little, and he tells her he loves her everyday, so it doesn’t do very much.

“YN is really nice” he tries, “and she’s my friend. She’s funny and she loves ice cream. And she gives great cuddles. Like… great. Way better than I do, because she’s warm and she smells nice, like candy”

He hears her giggle at his words, so he keeps going, “and she makes me really happy” he coos.

“How much?” Aidi asks, her voice muffled from the cheek she has smushed against his shirt.

“Ooooh, like how much happy we are when granny comes over”

Aidi hums and raises her head from his chest to look at her daddy. She looks a little less sad now, her lips open in a small smile.

“And she loooooves bunnies. She has like three stuffed bunnies,” he smiles, and Aidi looks down at the bunny clasped in her small hand.

“Really?”

“Yeah… she actually asked me if you and Cinna’d like to meet ‘em?”

She nods her head eagerly, “maybe we could invite them over next time?” She asks doubtfully, almost shy, and Harry beams with pride upon seeing her reaction.

“‘f course bug!” He exclaims excitedly, circling her back with his arms and squeezing her against his chest. He tickles her back and she giggles uncontrollably, her laugh muffled from his shirt, “daddy stooop! Please daddy!”

He joins in on her laugh and he stops tickling her, squeezing her hard against his chest one last time.

“Is miss YN still asleep?” Aidi asks.

“Dunno,” he says, “do yeh want t’check?”

When she nods her head, he sits up on her bed and takes her in his arms, propping her on his hip and picking up her stuffed bunny.

They make their way towards Harry’s bedroom, and when they open the door, YN is still sound asleep under the duvet.

“She’s sleepin’” he whispers, and smiles when Aidi clasps her hand on his mouth, shushing him.

“Do yeh want t’sleep a little mo’?”

“Like always?” She asks, looking at him with big eyes.

“Yeah”

Aidi nods her head and points toward the bed with the hand that’s holding the bunny, “in here”.

“Okay” he nods amused.

He lays her down on the bed next to YN, tucking her under the covers, and then he scooches in next to them, shutting the small light on his bedside table.

“Harry?” He’s almost half asleep when he hears her small voice, and he opens his eyes tiredly to look at her.

“Everything’s okay?” YN asks, her voice laced with a bit of worry, that he’s quick to reassure.

“Yes. She wanted to sleep a little bit more”

“Okay.” She nods happily.

“Go back to sleep, darlin’. Everything’s perfect” he reassures, stretching a hand to caress her face.

He smiles fondly when she turns her head to kiss the skin of his wrist and then he lulls her back to sleep like he did with his daughter, petting her hair soothingly.

YN falls asleep almost immediately, and Aidi, too, is sleeping peacefully between them.

Harry, despite the tiredness, stays awake a little longer to look at both of his girls trough the dark, sleeping next to him, his heart growing in his chest every second he spends looking at them, and he wonders what they’re dreaming about, these two girls that in different ways gave him a reason to love again.

In the morning, he’ll be the last one to wake up, alone in his bed, and he’ll hear the laughter coming from the kitchen along with the sweet scent of pancakes and bacon. He will let Aidi tell him all about how YN really gives the best cuddles and smells of candy, and he will kiss YN tenderly on the head. Aidi will ask YN when she can meet her bunnies while she bites down on her Nutella pancake, and YN will say whenever her and Cinnabunny are ready.

And Harry will finally feel at peace in his routine. No pieces missing.

omg bad habit 3 is finally here 😭 i missed writing for them so much, they're all so cuteeeee ugh lmk if you liked it and if i should write more blurbs about them!!! love you all so much

#harry styles blurb #bad habit #harry styles fluff #harry styles one shot #harry styles angst #harry styles x reader #harrystyles #harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles x y/n #harry styles fanfiction #teacher!yn #dad harry styles #dad!harry #harry x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles love on tour

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finelinevogue · 1 year

Text

family will get you through

summary - you go through a life changing operation but you have a strong family to get you through it

warnings: brain tumour, anxiety, self deprecation, swearing, kissing n fluff, hopeful ending, i wrote this 2 years ago so it’s not up to my usual writing standards unfortunately :(

word count: +6.8 k

pairing: husband/dad!harry x reader

Everything was occurring like normal. You were making the kids lunches for school as usual. You were cleaning the breakfast away as usual. Harry was on his last day of tour. Yet, somehow, within 24 hours, your life was going to be turned upside down.

For the worst.

During the hoovering of the carpet you heard your phone ring. After spending 10 seconds to find the bloody thing you finally picked up.

"Hello?" You asked, not recognising the number.

"Hi there. Is this Y/N Styles speaking?" The male voice asked, on the end of the line.

"Yes it is." You answer.

"Hiya Y/N. It's Dr Hughes here." He introduced himself, but it didn't comfort you any more knowing who was on the other side of the phone. Your doctor never calls you unless it's bad news. The last time they called, it was because Sofia might have had suspected appendicitis. She didn't, but still the doctors remained the bearers of bad news.

"To what do I owe the pleasure, Dr Hughes?" You asked politely, with a hint of sarcasm dripping in your tone.

"Unfortunately I bring bad news, again, Mrs Styles." He began, making you gulp down your worries unsuccessfully. "The tests that we ran on you, a while back, came back and unfortunately there is a problem." Your heart relaxed slightly that there was nothing wrong with your children or your husband.

"Okay." You urged him to carry on, disliking all the tip-toeing sounds the problem.

"Mrs Styles, there is no easy way of me telling you this." Dr Hughes took a deep breath before announcing the news. "You have a brain tumour, Y/N."

Luckily you were stood by the sofa and were able to collapse on that, when your legs gave way, otherwise you'd have landed on the floor. You covered your hand over you mouth to muffle any noises that threatened to escape, as you were in pure shock.

"It's not an overly large tumour and it will be able to be removed, with quick and efficient surgery, which we can offer, but we needed confirmation that you are willing to go through with this first." Your head was spinning and you couldn't tell up from down for a minute. It took a few calls of your name, from Dr Hughes, to pull you back.

"Um... Sorry. Is there any chance I can come talk to you in person?" You sniffled, but cleared your throat to try and stay strong over the phone.

"I'm free all tomorrow morning, Mrs Styles. Please feel free to drop in at any time." He kindly offered.

"Thank you." You said.

"I'm sorry, Mrs Styles, but if we act quickly you'll be alright. I guarantee it." He assured you and with you final goodbye you hung up the phone.

With him no longer listening to you over the phone you were able to break down in tears. You never thought something like this would be happening to you, but yet here you were. With a brain tumour, no less.

Your cry's were starting to hurt your chest from how heavy they were. You couldn't calm yourself down and all you wanted right now was Harry. Harry... What would he think about all this? Would he leave you? You hated that your brain went straight to that question but that was the hard hitting reality of the situation.

You tapped on Harrys number and called him, hoping he wasn't too busy. He always told you, whenever you needed him, no matter what time, he'll always be there. But would he still want to be there when he finds out his wife has a brain tumour?

After two rings he picks up.

"Hi love, everything okay? You're lucky I was up otherwise I would've been asleep!" The soothing tones of his voice calming you down.

"Shit, H, i'm so sorry." You sobbed loudly down the phone, not being able to bravely hold it in anymore.

"Hey, hey. It's fine Y/N/N. No need to cry over it love." He coos, not fully understanding why you were having a full breakdown over potentially waking him up.

"No. No i-it's not that H." You lean on your knees and cup your hand over your temples to soothe some of the pain, from the headache that was forming.

"Okay then. What's wrong baby? You can tell me, it's alright." His voice slightly trembling, hating the sound of you heavily crying without him there to comfort you.

If you did ever cry like this either Harry was right beside you, hugging you like there's no tomorrow, or you'd get through it by yourself - if he was away. You felt selfish dumping your problems on him when he wasn't right there to comfort you through it. Today was even worse, though. Today was Harrys last concert for the Love on Tour, tour, in L.A. Not only did he have a duty to preform to his adoring fans, he was also thousands of miles away. He wouldn't be able to do anything, other than offer some calming words, but somehow, this time, you didn't see how that was going to be enough.

"I got a call from Dr Hughes." You began and taking a deep breath before continuing, only imagining where Harry's head was at with those words. "H, i'm so sorry. He - uh - he told me I have a brain tumour. He said, with surgery, it can be removed but I need to act quick. I-i'm going to see him tomorrow, but I just needed to tell you."

You expected Harry to cut in at some point, but there was only silence. He was only ever quiet when he was shocked or had nothing left to say, and it terrified you that he was feeling that way.

"Harry?" You trembled out, wondering if he was even still there.

You heard him clear his throat before talking. "Um, yeah okay."

You were taken aback by how little words he was using. You couldn't work out whether you'd rather have had him say nothing at all. Your heart strings started to break a little at the thought that he was, most likely, thinking of different ways to divorce you and so forth. His life was too precious for him to be left with a damaged wife. God knows what you'll be like after surgery, and Harry didn't need to be stuck with looking after you when he should be touring with his adoring fans.

"Sorry, H." You murmured before hanging up, knowing he wouldn't have anything to say back. You regretted not wishing him look for his last concert date tonight, but it wasn't at the forefront of mind right now. You knew he would smash it anyways - he always did.

What if that had been your last goodbye?

You placed your phone on the coffee table and hysterically cried to yourself.

••••

A few hours later and you had called your parents over, after telling them, to pick the kids up from school - seeing as you were too emotionally unstable to be doing so. It made you feel like such a disappointment not being able to be strong enough to pick up your children, but you were worried you wouldn't be able to focus when driving - and you wouldn't put your children in danger.

Your parents had arrived as quickly as they could and spent hours reassuring you that you'd be okay, and that Harry loved you too much to ever say goodbye. You had a hard time believing them though, considering Harry had said all of two words to you - none of which implied that he still loved you and was going to be there for you through it all.

It was times like this when all you wanted, and needed, was your Harry, but unfortunately that just couldn't be the case. If Harry were to leave you, you wouldn't know what to do. You have kids and you always promised Harry that none of your kids would be raised from a broken home - you just couldn't put them through that. Yet, now, it seems inevitable.

After the kids had got back from school and had dinner, which you sat around for but didn't have anything, you and your children had cuddled up to watch some Netflix. Your parents had gone home, telling you that you just needed some time alone with your children. They never questioned what was wrong, but they could tell something was up. It took watching 5 episodes of The Big Bang Theory until your children were all on the verge of sleep, and so you'd shuffled them all along to bed.

"Mummy?" Sofia asked as you turned off her main light and turned on her bed light. You walked over to her single-bed, that was decorated in princesses and flowers, and sat down next to her.

"Yes sweetheart?" You answered. Sofia had been quiet all evening, but you just assumed she had been tired.

"I missed you picking me up today." She told you with her sad eyes. You brushed her hair off her face and behind her ear.

"I know. I missed you too, but mummy had some news today that wasn't very nice and so I didn't want to upset you with me being upset." You told her, not feeling like you had to hide anything from your children.

"Are you going to be okay?" She asked sincerely, with a little wobble of her rosy lips to signify she was worried about you. You hated that your children had to check on you, and yet your husband hadn't, but you also appreciated it greatly.

You thought about how to answer her question, because it was hard to answer. Of course you were going to face complications and re-percussions, later in time, after surgery, but you also would if you didn't have surgery. It was just whether or not something went wrong in surgery, or it actually turned out the surgery was no longer viable. You wanted to tell her so badly that everything would be okay, but you also couldn't lie to her.

"Mummy's going to be just fine." You turn your head to see your gorgeous husband standing in the doorway, looking like he'd been crying due to the red puffy eyes. They were probably similar to yours, however you'd tried to hide yours from your children.

As soon as you made eye contact with Harry the tears fell freely down your face. There was no stopping them either. Emotions were flying all over the place, but the one that stood out the most was relief. You thought you'd have a runaway husband but instead he was right here. He'd flown all the way from L.A. just to see you. You had no idea what was happening with the tour but you couldn't think of anything other than the man stood in the hallway.

"Daddy!" Sofia screamed, like she'd just gained 100 pounds of energy, and jumped out of her bed to run to her dad. Her little legs could only make her run so fast but when she got there Harry was ready to scoop her up in his warm embrace.

"Ohhh I missed you, my love." Harry pressed light kisses all over her face and Sofia started squirming in his grasp, giggling as Harry continued to attack her.

"Did someone say dad is here?" You heard Will day from down the hall, but you'd buried your face in your hands, in disbelief and shock, to truly acknowledge what was going on.

You listened to the sounds of them reuniting and getting bombarded by kisses from Harry, until it got a bit too overwhelming. Harry was actually here and that was something you thought would be a distant dream, and hearing him play with your children was such a joyous thing to hear. You decided that you needed a minute away, and to yourself.

"Excuse me." You announce softly, working your way past the pile of people that were now on the floor. You wanted to laugh at how your children had tackled Harry down to the ground, but your tears prevented you from feeling that way.

You walked to your bedroom, and outside onto the small terrace that was attached to it. It let you have a stunning view of the city in the distant, but you could also had the pleasure of having the rolling hills, and stunning fields of gold, in the foreground. You shut the sliding door over, trying to get the atmosphere as quiet at possible. You rested your elbows on the stone railing and placed your hands on your forehead, before continuing your hardened sobs. Ever since the dreaded phone call this morning, you don't think you've had a second, after it, where there hasn't been a teardrop on your skin.

After 5 minutes, give or take, you heard the sliding doors open. You didn't need to turn and look to see who it was to know who it was - his comforting presence alone telling you.

You turned around quickly to see he had been stood infinitely close behind you, probably apprehensive about touching or comforting you. The way you immediately brought your arms around him, to give him a hug, took him by surprise, but within seconds he was embracing you back and tighter than ever. You buried your face in his chest as the tears continued, but he didn't seem to mind at all.

After a minute or two, hugging in comfortable silence, you tilted your head up and looked from his eyes to his gorgeous lips. He noticed you looking and started to lean himself down slowly, still being wary of how you were feeling towards him. You couldn't take being away from him any longer, and so cupped the back of his neck to bring him down faster.

The feeling of his lips on yours made you feel invincible. You forgot about all yours worries when he was pressed close against you. It was as if nothing else mattered, but only you two. He made you forget that he had been a jerk on the phone. He made you forget that you had a bloody brain tumour. He made you forget every small detail you'd been worrying over for the past 14 hours or so. Even though it only lasted for a minute; he made you forget.

The sound of smacking lips detaching one another allowed you to breathe again. He was good at making you feel breathless and savouring every minute moment he had with you. You both stared in to each others eyes and let them talk to one other. You could tell by his emerald, doe, eyes that he was unimaginably sorry, and he could tell from yours that you forgave him no questions asked.

"I thought you'd left me." You honestly let him know.

"Never, baby. I promised i'd always be there for you, and some fucking tumour, isn't going to change that." You loved that Harry could find the light in a situation like this. It's one of his charming qualities that never ceases to amaze you.

"I have th—"

"Daddy?" You hear from behind you both. You see Sofia standing there, in her cute lilac polka-dot onesie, looking at Harry with adoring eyes. She hasn't seen him in a month or so, and so seeing him, earlier than expected too, has turned her into a little sheep to follow Harry - wanting to spend every spare minute with him.

"Sof." Harry sighed, reluctantly detaching himself from around you. "I told you, sweetheart, that I need to make sure mummy's okay for a bit, alright?" He reminded her, his words filling your heart with so much love and happiness you thought it might burst.

"But daddyyy..." She whines, stomping her foot delicately on the floor.

"No Sof. It's not fair on mummy is it?" He crouched down to her level to caress her soft cheeks.

"H, it's alright. I'm alright. Go and see to her, and the boys too if they want you. I can wait."

Harry stands back up, after seeing how his daughters expression changes to a much more excited one. He walks over to you and cups both your cheeks with his large, veiny, hands.

"You're so annoying, you know that right?" Harry teases you, probably frustrated that your intimate moment, that could've turned into something more intimate, had been interrupted. He gives you a quick kiss on the lips and you pushed him along to go sort out his children.

An hour and a half later you and Harry were sat in the bath together. You were layed back against his chest and his arms, along with yours, were resting on top of your stomach. Your legs were interwoven and your head was back against Harrys shoulder, his cheek to the top of your head. You'd argue that this is more intimate that anything else - to be so desperately close to one another, and yet still hold back from all pleasurable interactions. Sure, the moments leading up to you both needing the bath had been beautiful and raw, sending all kinds of sensations flying through your body, but this was something special.

If you could freeze time, this is where you'd like to be frozen.

"Will you get angry at me if I apologise again?" Harry asked, nodding his cheek further into your hair - which apparently smelt like 'heaven' according to Harry.

"Most likely." You chuckled, knowing that you wouldn't but you'd become irate about it. You'd lost count of the amount of times that Harry had apologised to you this evening, but he said he couldn't ever put a number on how many times he should apologise because it would be too big. He vowed to use the rest of his life to show how he'll love you till the end of your time, and prove he never intended to leave you. You thought he'd proved himself enough over the past few hours he's been back, but you weren't going to stop him from showering you in more love.

"Sorry." Harry buries his head in your shoulder to hide away from your pretend wrath.

You move around in the warm, soapy bath water until you're straddling his legs. The bath water sloshed around as you moved, but luckily you were agile enough to not let any spill overboard. Harry couldn't take his eyes off your mesmerising body, and you had to tilt his chin up for him to lose contact with your chest and gain contact with your orbs.

"You're the worst." You tease him for apologising to you, again, wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing your chest up against his - hissing at the cold contact against your boobs.

"Don't I know it." He rolls his eyes and gives you a smirk, holding on to your back tighter.

"But I couldn't love you any less." You tell him, kissing his lips quickly but enough to send butterflies through your body.

"Hmm. Well that could be a compliment, depending on how much you love me already?" He asked, pointing out the flaw in your nonsense.

You thought for a minute before answering. "I love you more than you love me." You slyly smirk, knowing how badly he hates comparing your love. He's such a sore loser and finds it bruising to his ego when you say you love him more than he does you. He belly laughs at your statement, not being able to control himself.

"Not only did you just deflate my ego, and boost your narcissism, but it's cute that you actually believe what you said." Harry starts of lightheartedly but you can tell he became more serious towards the end.

"But I—"

"I don't think so Mrs Styles." He brings you even closer, which you thought was impossible.

"I love you H."

"I love you... even more." Harry returns, and you drop your head, giggling, on to his shoulder from giving up with him.

•••••

2 months later and surgery had been successful.

The day of the surgery you'd never felt more nervous for anything. The nerves you felt that day even beat your pre-wedding nerves. It was such an intense and overwhelming feeling, and none of it would have been possible if it weren't for Harry being there for you the whole time. Your children were all superstars too. They continuously showered you in love, and although it was Harry buying the gifts, they treated to you flowers whenever you were down. Whether it was a bunch of roses, a bouquet of different flowers or a single sunflower to plant in the garden, it always managed to cheer you up.

You had surgery a couple of days ago and you were still in and out of sleep, not having spoken a word yet. The morphine dosage that they gave you, along with all the other concoctions of medicine they gave you, had been really strong. The doctor had explained to you, after surgery, how you might not come around, properly, until a few days after surgery. No doubt Harry stayed by your side through all of it.

Lying subconscious in bed allowed you to think a lot. It terrified you as to how you were going to be after surgery and how dependent you were going to have to be on other people for a while. Apparently your legs and arms become really weak, because you brain has been out of action and a small proportion has been attacked by a tumour, and that scared you. You didn't want your children to see you helpless - what kind of example would that set to them? You probably would have to be fed for a small amount of time, and either use crutches or maybe a wheelchair, and you, being the strong and independent woman you are, hated that.

Today was different. You could feel it.

You woke up, from your light slumber, with a heavy presence on your hand. If you hadn't become so accustomed to the feel of Harrys hand you probably wouldn't have known what it was, but you'd recognise that soft, bony, feel anywhere.

You open your eyes slowly, letting your eyes adjust to the light in their own time. You noticed you were in your own private room, something that they had very limited numbers of in hospitals here, and it was no doubt due to Harrys constant nagging and persistency that you were here. Looking to your right you confirmed that it was Harry holding your hand. He was slouched in a chair, facing your direction, sleeping, but holding your hand nevertheless. It took another second to realise Sofia was asleep in his lap, looking like the princess she was. There was another few chairs in the corner of the room and you realised your sons were all sat on them. Thomas and Eric resting their heads on each other and Will sat with his hood pulled up over his face.

It was beyond comforting to know your family was still here and waiting patiently for you.

You softly ran your finger over Harrys hand, trying to cause a disturbance. You'd attempted to voice your actions but nothing came out, due to your throat being so dry. You noticed a cup of water next to your bedside table and decided to help yourself. You turned the best you could, with Harry still holding on to your hand, and then moved your arm to the water. It was hard, really hard, but you managed to do it. You held the plastic cup as firmly as you could, with your trembling fingers, and sat up a bit further to take a sip. You managed a few sips before your fingers gave way and you dropped the plastic cup to the floor, spilling the rest of the water on the floor.

The noise wasn't loud but obviously loud enough to wake people up. Everyone except Harry - whom didn't wake up for anyone. He could sleep through an earthquake if he tried.

"Mum!" "Mummy!" A chorus of your children's voices echoed throughout the room, eventually waking Harry up in the process. Thomas and Eric came over to stand next to your bedside, taking your hand in both of theirs. Will rested on the end of the bed, giving you a soft smile which you returned. Sofia jumped across from Harrys lap on to your bed and engulfed you in a hug.

"Umph." You let out the noise when she jumped on you, still feeling a little sensitive all over your body.

"Hey, hey. Sof. You need to be careful with mummy, alright?" Harry comes and removes her slightly off of you, so you don't have to carry as much weight.

"Sorry mummy." Sofia apologises, going to sit next to you, her little legs dangling off the bed and miles from the floor. You gave her a small smile to signify you were okay and that you didn't need her apology. Harry stood nearby her in case she fell.

"How are you mum?" Will asked. Even though Will acted like he was too cool to get involved, you knew that he did honestly care and his question warmed your heart that he was taking an interest.

"A bit achey, not going to lie. I also find it really hard to move my legs and arms, but that was to be expected." You try and say with a strong and brave voice, but you didn't even convince yourself that it was.

"Will, buddy?" Harry asks, catching Will's attention. "Could you maybe take Sofia and the boys to the vending machine?" He hands over a handful of loose change. "Just get some crisps or chocolate for yourselves, please?"

Will obviously understood that his dad was asking for a couple of minutes alone with you.

"Sure. Cmon Sof." Will cheerily spoke, holding out his hand for her. Harry helped her off the bed, and Thomas and Eric both squeezed your hand to show they were here for you. Once they all left, Sofia rambling on about her favourite chocolate bar, Harry came and sat down by you.

He wrapped both his large hands in your smaller, and frailer, one. He leant down to plant a long-lasting kiss to your forehead, the sparks remaining even after he'd moved away. He then rested his forehead lightly on yours, looking in to your eyes the best he could from this angle. You had a feeling he just wanted to be as close to you as possible. You'd be lying if you said you didn't want the same thing.

"I missed you." Harry whispered against your face, your lips ghosting each other.

"You've been here the whole time, H." You remind him.

"But it wasn't the same. Not being able to see these beautiful, dreamy, eyes. Not being able to annoy you whenever I want. Not being able to cuddle up next to you in bed every night. Not being able to hear your angelic laugh." He stops to look down at your lips. "And not being able to kiss these pretty things." He nudged his nose against yours.

"Well nothing's stopping you now." You smirk.

Harry lets out a small chuckle before rushing down to meet your lips with his. It was as if it was the first time he was getting to do it. He was so excited and you could feel the happiness radiate off him as his lips moulded against yours. You had to pull away to catch your breath.

"Yeah. Definitely missed that." Harry stated, making you chuckle.

You tried to move your hands up to cup his cheek but it was difficult to raise it past a certain point, your muscles being too weak to allow it. You sadly sighed to yourself and flopped your arm back on the bed beside you, closing your eyes in disappointment.

A second later you feel Harrys hand lifting your arm. You open your eyes to glance at him and he's reading your facial expressions to make sure what he's doing isn't hurting you in any way.

"Together." Harry firmly tells you, finally resting your palm against his cheek. He leans against it and you can feel the warmth radiating off his skin. Harry makes sure to hold your hand in place so you aren't doing all the hard-work.

"Sorry." You look at him through your sad eyes.

"For what, darling?" Harry looks deep in to your eyes, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion.

"For all this." Your nod your head down to your body, referring to how you were semi-immobile. "I know it's not what you signed up for, but—"

"But I love you no matter what." Harry finishes your sentence for you, not wanting to hear your criticise yourself any more than you already had. "This isn't your fault, baby. You know that. I know that. Everyone knows that. We're going to get through this. You're not alone. That, I can promise you."

His words brought as tears to your eye but Harry manages to kiss it away, leaving him with salty lips, before it can truly fall.

••••

2 weeks later, you were out of the hospital now and back home. It was been very overwhelming the last couple of weeks.

You still were unable to walk properly without the support of crutches, or a wheelchair and sometimes Harry. It was a blessing in disguise that your children were still at school, because it meant that you were able to have a lot of time to yourself, and with Harry, without constant interruptions or fussing over you.

Your children had been brilliant. They helped around the house when necessary, and every weekend, when they didn't have school, they delivered you breakfast in bed. Sofia made your cards, that had messages inside that were all spelt wrong, and drew family portraits for you. Sometimes you'd end up with a blue face and green hair, but you didn't love it any less.

As for Harry. Well he was just another level of amazing. He cleaned around the house, even when you insisted you could. He was very firm and layed out the ground rules early on. You weren't to move without his assistance and it had to be with good reason. I.e. apparently getting yourself a glass of water isn't good enough. He picked up the kids from school and dropped them off, sometimes you'd come along if your medication hadn't made you too drowsy. He did allow you to help cook dinner, what with stirring the pan, to let you feel like you were doing something, but he didn't want to overwork you.

Harry and yourself were currently out in the park, and it was very amusing.

You were in your comfy clothes, whilst Harry was in his running gear. He was running laps of a swimming-pool-sized pond, whilst you were walking indescribably slow with your crutches to assist you. Every time he jogged past you he would joke about how you were 'catching him up', but that was far from the truth. You'd barely gone around half of the pond, whereas Harry had done four laps of it, so far. You found the whole thing hilarious.

Harry was catching up to you again and you attempted to go a bit faster to make it seem like you were racing him.

"Oh I see. You're trying to get away from me now, huh?" Harry shouts from behind you. You laughed to yourself as you continue to place the crutches out in front of you before moving yourself forwards. "I don't think so.." Harrys voice becoming more apparent now, from obviously being able to move faster than you.

You suddenly feel his arms wrap around yours and he twirls you around in the air.

"Harry!"

"I've got you. I won." He attacks your neck with kisses, probably leaving a mark or two. Acting like this with him makes it look like you were still falling in love with each other, not being married and have four kids already. You wouldn't want it any other way though.

"You only win because you're a sore loser." You tease him as he places you back down on the floor.

"Shut up." He mumbles.

You go down to pick up your crutches, which you'd accidentally let go of, but are stopped by Harry.

"It's alright love i've got them." Harry tells you, knowing how hard it is for you to bend over and multitask by picking something up.

"No. It's okay. I want to try." You shyly tell him, feeling stupid that you're even requesting it. Harry proudly smiles at you before you lean down to pick them up.

Harrys hand ghosts over the small of your back, just on stand-by for support in case you need it. You let out a groan half-way down, not wanting to give up but realising that this was more difficult than anticipated.

"You've got this baby. Keep going." Harry comforted you to carry on, even when he knew you were struggling, because he knows you can do it. The mere thought gives you enough strength to keep going and power through the ache.

With one final push you're able to pick them up and stand back up. Harry slinks his arms around your waist and picks you up so he's carrying you around his torso. Your legs instinctively cross over his back, and your arms find way to his neck.

Without any words Harrys lips press against yours passionately, and you know that he is proud of you.

••••

A year later had come another milestone for you.

You'd successfully managed to drive the kids to school, and back home. Harry had sat in the passenger seat, making sure to help you with the wheel or change of gears, throughout. You were both anxious. You, more about ending up having an accident and Harry more for wanting you to prove to yourself that you could do it. But you did it.

The kids had been over the moon to hear that their mum was driving them to and from school, complaining that their dads jokes were getting too old now. Harry was mildly offended and continued with his jokes as punishment.

You'd forgotten the route and ended up at a pig-farm, upon trying to get to school, but Harry found it funny and it made you relax. Minor-amnesia was a product of the surgery, and it was times when you were trying to drive somewhere that it became an issue. Other times it was actually quite useful. For example when you'd genuinely forgotten someones name, you can blame it on the surgery, or if you were meant to collect something and had forgotten you'd be politely excused.

After having dinner with the kids, which was an Indian takeaway from your favourite, you made sure they all went to bed before spending some time with Harry downstairs. He'd mentioned how he needed to talk to you about some things this evening.

Both of you were snuggled up on the sofa, with you practically lying on top of Harry. Harry had a can of beer in his hand and your glass of water was carefully placed on the floor. You'd been advised not to drink alcohol for a while, just until the migraines settle down.

"H? You alright? You've been very quiet." You asked, as you kept your eyes on the TV where the BBC News was playing. You weren't really watching it, but it was just there to fill the background noise with anything other than silence.

"Um, yeah." He clears his throat. "I've been thinking a lot lately."

"About?" You ask, not exactly being able to read Harrys mind.

"Life. You. Kids. The future.." He answers, but you can sense he his nervous as his heart is beating considerably faster than usual.

"Okay?" You press for him to continue.

"I'm going to give it all up." He just blurts out, catching you if guard and making you stop breathing for a few seconds.

You twist around so you're sat crossed legged over his legs. "W-what do you mean?" You ask, confused over his proposal.

"I mean, I quit. I'm done with that part of my life." He answers as a matter of factly.

You close your eyes and shake your head to try and process what's actually happening right now.

"H? What are you doing?" You ask, flabbergasted. "Music is your life.."

"No, Y/N. You are my life. Those children, sleeping soundly upstairs, are my life. Music is a passion and a relaxation. It is a way to express my emotions when I don't have you around."

"But—"

"I know, I know. I'll miss the touring and meeting all the amazing fans, but leaving you is just something i'm not willing to do anymore."

A few tears slip down your cheeks when you realise what you're doing.

"This is all my fault." You begin to cry, covering your face with your palms to hide yourself from Harry.

"Hey, Y/N/N, no it's not. You hear me? It's not." Harry tugs your hands away from your face so he can see your beautiful face. "Look at me, darling." He tells you more than asks you.

"Sor—" You start.

"Sshh. I don't want to hear it. I mean, you having surgery is part of the reason, but there are so many other things that are bigger than that. Y/N/N, I love you so so much. More than you could ever believe and I just want to spend the rest of my life with you now. Of course i'll continue to write, produce and publish music, but i'm just not up for touring, like I did, anymore. From now on I want to become the family man. I want to be there every day for our children, no matter what. I need them so much more than they could ever need me."

"But money H..?" You sigh, even though your spirit is so happy from Harrys insight into the future.

"That is not for you to worry about, right now, alright? I've been planning this for a while now and I have things in place and such. I just needed to tell you, because your my other half - my better half - and I felt you deserved to be involved."

It went quiet for a little bit as you let everything Harrys told you, so far, sink in. You'd stopped crying, mainly because Harry wasn't giving your tears a chance to run down your face. You started to smile to yourself at a life where 365 days of a year you can wake up next to your husband.

"What you smiling at, gorgeous?" Harry chuckled, caressing your cheek.

"You." You cheese. "And how I get to be with you for the rest of my days."

"I can't wait to start living the rest of my life with you." Harry softly says, kissing your nose briefly.

Rest of your lives. You could get used to that.

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x y/n #harry styles fanfic #ask finelinevogue #harry blurb #finelinevogue #harry styles concept #harry oneshot #harry styles blurbs #harry styles fic #harry styles fic rec #harry styles husband #husband!harry #dadrry #dad!harry styles #dad harry styles #masterlist harry styles

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missmielyhoran · 11 months

Text

Little Helpers

Harry needs a bit of help, and who's better than his two little gremlins...

90sRockstar!Harry × Reader

A/N- Happens wayyyyyyy long in the future, like at least 10 years after they meet. Harry and reader are in their mid 30s

Only Angel Masterlist // Masterlist

*****

It was your birthday.

And Harry was struggling.

You've been out in New York for last week or so for work while he has been staying home with kids.

To say they're pain in the ass is an understatement, but he made his bed (or hot tub), so he had to lay in it.

Harry was the "fun" parent, to say the least, cause he can't say no, and those gremlins even tho they're only four years old are way too good at getting things their way.

Meanwhile, you knew how to shut down something you knew they didn't need. Like the large Nerf gun, Harry got them in secret and then had to listen to you yell at him while those two giggled from the stairs in timeout.

But that wasn't the problem right now.

The problem was that the house was mess, the kitchen was mess, it was your birthday and he doesn't know how to cook, clean all at the same time while taking care of kids who are already running around in backyard.

It was times like these he was amazed by how his mother, and even you did everything so efficiently. Never once did he saw a thing out of place when you stayed with kids, and he had to go out.

(Maybe cause you made the kids clean up after themselves while he sees one look of their puppy eyes and melts)

He took a deep breath in and called for the kids, "Jack! Soph! come back inside" He yelled, which caught the twins' attention. Their little head snapped towards him, and soon enough, they were running in giggling still in their pjs.

Harry shook his head and walked back inside and saw them talking to themselves. They were literally each others best friends, always attached to the hip, partners in crime, and he hoped they're like this when they grow up.

"Kids, kids and kids!" He announced dramatically. Twins giggled again, "There is only two of us, dada. Why are you saying kids three times?" They looked at each other and laughed again at Harry's trying to be mad face.

"Hey smartasses listen to me." He flicked their head lightly, "It's your maa's birthday today"

The twins' eyes went wide, and then Soph jumped, screaming "birthday" making Harry laugh. "That means we will get cake?" Jack asked his dad.

"You will if you help me" Harry shrugged, "Whoever helps me out the most will get the bigger piece!" Harry said.

Twins looked at each other again and then their dad and nodded their head quickly, "I will help you" Jack said, "Me too" Soph said in tow.

"Well then, let's start with this room. Pick up all your toys and everything else and put them where they should be." He said, walking towards the kitchen sink. It was an open plan, so he could still see the kids while cleaning up the kitchen.

He looked at the clock, and it was still 4 hours left to your arrival. He could do it.

He hopes he can do it.

*****

Harry was surprised and amused when he looked up and saw two heaving toddlers sitting on the ground.

"Well done babies, you did such a great job" He said, squatting down to their level and kissing both of their heads.

"We know" They said together. Harry laughed at that cause even if the kids looked like him, their personality was yours. Sassy, witty and smart for their age.

"We put everything in different boxes so you could see who did more work, and my box is the most filled" Jackson said cockily and Soph rolled her eyes.

"I'm just going to steal more from dad's plate" she said without any care as much as Harry would like to think otherwise it was true. He lost his right to have his own food when he become father and he's okay with it (to certain level). Harry still very much amused with their banter over cake slice, goes to the kitchen, and fetches both of them their water bottles along with a bowl of fruits.

"Why don't you two drink some water and eat all those fruits and then come help me bake the cake?" Harry asked them immediately, getting nods as an answer from hungry babies.

He took out all the ingredients while the kids ate and arranged them, so it was easier for kids to "help" him.

Soon enough, they were all done with their snacks and were standing on the large wooden stool beside Harry, watching him make the cake. Both of them have large chefs hat on and custom matching aprons Harry got for all of them for when they would cook together on Sunday mornings.

He was in the middle of cracking egg when Sophie started to fuss, "Dada I want to do it too!" She said, pouting.

Harry brought the bowl in front of her and stood behind her holding her hand, which had egg in it, and then cracked it open and put it in the bowl. Sophie giggled, finding amusement in cracking eggs, which made Jack feel left out so Harry did the same with him too.

The kids helped him as much as they could, with bringing him stuff, and finally, the cake was in oven.

Jack and Soph sat in front of the oven watching the cake like hawk cause in their words, "we want it to be perfect like maa makes it". Harry cleaned the rest of the kitchen.

"C'mon babies bath time." He announced which much to kids displeasure meant they had to move away from the oven. Harry literally had to drag them upstairs with Soph in his left arm and Jack in right.

"You two are getting heavy for me to pick you up and roam around" he said, groaning at the feeling of back ache rising.

"No, you're just getting old, dada." The twins laughed. Harry rolled his eyes at them and flicked their heads.

"In the bath. Your maa will have my head if you two are dirty" He said, starting the warm bath of them.

*****

There have been times Harry felt proud of himself, and right now, as he watches the clean house, clean kids, and a not burned cake, he feels proud of himself.

Kids were watching TV in the living room when they heard the car pull up in the driveway, and everyone was set on their mission.

Harry quickly lit up all the candles. Meanwhile, kids stood in the position near the door with paper confetti in their hands to throw at you.

Meanwhile, you feel exhausted as you get out of the car. The fashion week of this year was hectic. You were so busy you didn't even remember it was your birthday until you opened he door.

Colorful confetti flew on your face as you heard "happy birthday" in unison. Your kids stood near the door with the biggest smile on their faces with your husband behind them with cake in his hand.

"Omg, thank you so much my little munchkin" you said, sitting down on your knees and pulling twins into tight hugs. All exhaustion and stress were lost as you saw your favorite people.

"Hey, I'm also here." You heard Harry whine, making three of you laugh.

"C'mon maa, we want cake!" Jack said, first making you laugh. You kissed both of their cheeks and stood up, walking towards your husband.

You pecked his lips and smiled, "Thank you, baby." you said with a warm smile matching his. "My absolute pleasure angel" He said, kissing you again.

"Those gremlins helped me, or I was ready to have a panic attack this morning," he said, chuckling.

You brought the cake to the kitchen, Harry stood beside you his arms around your waist, and kids stood on the stool on your other side.

"Maa make a wish!" Soph said. You nodded and wished for your family to stay just like this forever and blew the candles. Jack and Soph clapped while Harry leaned down and kissed your cheeks.

Cake slices were cut and put in plate for all four of you and as you and Harry stood in the kitchen with your head on his shoulder watching your kids banter over who's slice is bigger you never felt more content.

This is all you ever wanted.

*****

I think they're my favorite couple after Harry and Autumn.

Taglist- @tenaciousperfectionunknown @that-daydream-look @harryspirate @tiaamberxx @lomlhstyles @vmpellie @sunshinemoonsposts @jayde515 @yeehawbrothers @sleutherclaw @ikea2-0 @thechaoticjoy @astridcommings @grapejuicebluesrry @gxbiqs

Please Like, Comment and Reblog

Tell me if you liked this or just talk to me cause trust me I love it, here♡

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gucciwins · 7 months

Note

Hey!! Was wondering if you could do a dadrry blurb?? With H and y/n doing tummy time with the bubs on their playmat? 🥺 or just anything cute 🥰

something cute with dad harry as requested 🫶 enjoy, my love

Becoming a parent is something Harry always dreamed about. He looked forward to helping his baby eat, rock them to sleep, and even looking forward to changing their nappy.

He was ready for everything but wasn’t prepared to see his son grow quickly every day. It seemed as if every time he blinked his son, Elio was onto the next milestone.

Even the hard days were easy because of Y/N.

His wife of four years seemed to have the answer for everything. Sometimes, she made it seem too easy being able to recognize the distinct cries of their child, but she reassured Harry that they were learning together.

Work had allowed them both to take time off to enjoy the first month together, but Harry whined about returning to work once his time was up. He just couldn’t bear leaving Y/N and his son so soon. Although work did give him something to miss, he missed cuddling with his son and having that feeding time, but Y/N assured him those late-night wake-ups would still exist. Harry swore Elio grew an inch every time he walked out of the room.

Harry wished he could stay tiny forever, but he was also ready for Elio to start speaking because Harry knew Elio would be the sweetest kid, especially with Y/N as his mother.

The weekends were his favorite because he spent it at home with his family. They would walk around their neighborhood or have a picnic in the park. They were always doing something as a family. Right now, at five months old, Elio loves his tummy time. Y/N would lie on his stomach on a blanket Harry’s mother gifted Elio when he hit one month because his grandparents spoiled him as much as they could on any date and occasion. Elio was laid down with toys around him that he could reach for, which helped with his motor functions. Harry liked joining him as well. Y/N usually used this time to catch up on chores or little things around the house, but Harry convinced her it could all wait today.

She sat on the floor, watching as Harry spoke to Elio. He talked to them about the day and weather, even how the Green Bay Packers were doing during the current season as if he could understand. Harry took Elio’s gurgles as responses and carried the conversation. It warmed Y/N’s heart to see how easily Harry fell into the father role, one he expressed he dreamed about far more than he thought was normal. Now, they sit here, watching Elio, who seems to be an exact replica of Harry except for his cute nose, which appears to be all Y/N.

Y/N laughed as she caught Harry playing with the blocks she had laid out for Elio. He was building a tower, too lost in a trance explaining each step, all while Elio was swinging around a rattle that captured his attention.

“Baby, those are for Bubs,” Harry turns to her, pouting, and while his attention is elsewhere, Elio uses that as a chance to swing his arm around and knocks Harry’s tower over.

Harry turns back in shock, all while Y/N laughs. Little Elio joins his mother in laughing at Harry, who dramatically mourns his eight-block castle.

“Did you enjoy that, Elio? Enjoy making Mummy laugh?” Harry asks Elio in a sweet voice reserved just for him. Elio’s response is two rattle shakes.

“Tummy time over, Daddy wants cuddles!” Harry opens his arms, a gesture Elio has become familiar with, knowing he will be held. Elio replicates it, dropping his toy, and Harry, in one swoop, brings him to his chest. Harry kisses his head repeatedly as he whispers how much he loves him.

“Bring him over!” Y/N makes grabby hands for Elio.

Harry playfully turns away, “my turn.”

“Then come cuddle me.”

Harry thinks that sounds perfect, so as Y/N lays down on their couch, he passes Elio to her so she can rest him on her chest. Elio lets out a deep sigh as he settles into his mother’s hold. Harry knows Elio loves Y/N; if he had to choose a favorite parent, it’d be her. He understands Y/N’s perfect. She’s a perfect partner who loves him and respects him. Harry always feels showered by her love, and it’s not different for Elio. It‘s clear Elio loves receiving all her love, too.

Harry lays down with his favorite people, his hand resting on Elio’s bum for support, and he knows life does not get better than this.

#harry styles #harry styles fluff #harry styles x reader #dad harry styles #harry styles story #harry styles fanfic #harry styles au #harry styles x y/n #harry fluff #harry stories #harry fanfic #harry blurb #harry drabble #harry styles blurb #dadrry #harry styles fic rec

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chrisevansonly · 7 months

Text

𝐋𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐛𝐲 𝐁𝐚𝐛𝐲 | 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐒𝐭𝐲𝐥𝐞𝐬

ღ harry styles x female reader

ღ if there is one thing your baby boy loves in all of this world, and it’s when his daddy sings him to sleep…

ღ very fluffy and soft dad! harry styles

ღ just another little dad!harry piece, im slowly getting motivation back to write, so i hope to be more productive and active now <3

It was no secret to anyone in your lives at just how much of a daddy’s boy your 2 month old son Ollie was, the newborn knew instantly when he was in his fathers arm, and most days if it was anyone else’s we wouldn’t have it. Harry loved Ollie with his entire being, there was no greater joy in life than being a father and being married to you: his two greatest loves.

For a two month old he was fairly quiet, bedtime was usually easy enough for both you and Harry but the odd time it proved to be rather difficult, especially when there were no lullabies as part of Ollie’s night routine. Let’s get one thing straight, you could sing him lullabies, but nothing, and I mean nothing would ever beat Harry’s, you knew that, and little Ollie knew that too.

“My little Ollie bear, shhh daddy will be home soon, mummy promises….shhhh”

You were bouncing gently around the room, little sobs escaping your baby boys mouth, he knew his daddy wasn’t there, and you could only frown and rock the little one hoping Harry would be back from the store soon.

“My little love, it’s okay….”

When Ollie cried, he could cry, his lungs were in perfect shape there was no doubt about it. It also helped because as soon as Harry got home he was quick to leave the bags on the kitchen counter, taking two steps at a time up to your shared bedroom, a bit of a frantic look on his face

“M’sorry traffic was bad, what happened, s’he alright?”

Smiling tiredly you shook your head

“He’s alright, just fussy because his daddy isn’t singing to him”

You watched his shoulders relax slightly as he smile apologetically to you, leaning down to kiss you softly before taking Ollie from you

“Poor mummy huh? Giving her a hard time…? S’cause daddy’s a better singer huh?”

Ollie had begun to quiet down instantly, earning a light smack to Harry’s bicep from you as you rolled your eyes playfully

“I’ll go put the food away, thank you baby”

Smiling Harry kissed you once more before going to sit in the rocking chair that rested beside the french doors in the far end of your room, the sunsetting over the English countryside

“There we go, time for bed now my love”

Harry was quick to pull out the soft grey blanket you kept in a basket beside the rocking chair, covering Ollie with it before he began to sing softly

“Baby mine, don’t you cry, baby mine, dry your eyes, rest your head close to my heart, never to part, baby of mine”

Harry watched as Ollie’s eyes began to flutter closed, his tiny hand holding onto the string of his pleasing hoodie in a grip to ensure his father wouldn’t move.

“Little one when you play, don’t you mind what you say, let those eyes sparkle and shine, never a tear, baby of mine..”

Humming softly to finish off the lullaby, he waited until he could hear the little baby snores Ollie made, letting him know he was finally asleep. Pressing a few soft kisses to his cheeks, Harry lay him down in his bassinet, placed on your side of the bed for night feedings. Silently hoping he’d stay asleep as he put him down, waiting a few moments before turning the monitor on and making his way to find you.

“Did he go down okay?”

“Like a charm”

You smiled wrapping your arms around his torso

“What would we do if we both sucked at singing?”

Harry laughed

“You don’t suck, he just prefers me that’s all”

“You’ve heard me in the shower….”

“Okay so your tune could use a little work….”

It was your turn to laugh as you shook your head, kissing his stubble covered chin

“I love you H, thank you for always coming to the rescue”

“For you and Ollie, i’ll always come to rescue.”

#rueswrites #ruesanswers #ruesanons<3 #ruesasks #harry styles x wife reader #harry styles x you #harry styles x girlfriend reader #harry styles x reader #harry styles x female reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles fluff #harry styles #dad!harry #dad! harry styles #harry styles imagine #dad harry styles #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfiction

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themultifandomgal · 4 months

Text

Harry Styles- Christmas Day With The Styles Family

“Mummy, daddy! It’s Christmas” the 3 year old shouts jumping on to the bed of YN and Harry. Harry turns to look at the clock on his bedside table

“Ella is 4 in the morning”

“But Santas been”

“Yes and both me and your mum would like some more sleep” Harry yawns

“But I want to open presents please”

“When it’s 6 o’clock” Harry tells his daughter

“Why don’t you come and sleep with us for a little bit” YN says quietly

“Fine” Ella groans climbing in between YN and Harry.

“Is it 6 o’clock yet?”

“No” Harry replies eyes closed

“When will it be 6 o’clock?”

“Later” Harry replies again

“I hate waiting. I’m not sleepy”

“No but me and your dad are” YN grumbles as she turns around to face her daughter and husband

“Well you should have gone to bed earlier” YN opens one of her eyes to see her daughter with her arms crossed

“Hmmm”

“Ella it’s 5 o’clock. Just another hour please”

"Can I open my stocking? please?" Ella pouts

“Ok. Go and get it” Ella is quick to jump off her parents bed and run out of the room to grab her stocking. Seconds later the little girl runs in holding her stocking. She jumps on the bed and starts to unwrap her presents.

YN and Harry managed to get another hour of sleep before Ella woke them up again asking if they could get up. As Harry promised they all got up and went downstairs. Ella of course ran to the tree where all the gifts lay

"Wait for mummy to get a bin bag. Don' wanna mess in here” Harry tells his little girl

"Hurry mummy you have presents to open!" Ella yells

"They aren't going anywhere my love don't you worry" YN laughs as she brings a bin bag into the living room.

"Mummy I put your presents there and daddy your presents are here"

"Thank you Ella”

“Can we open now please?"

"Yes, go ahead" YN tells her girl who's face lights up. YN and Harry sit next to each other on the sofa watching their daughter open up her presents. Then it’s their turn.

After having some breakfast and a quick tidy up, the Styles family all climb into the car and make their way to Harry’s mums house. Thankfully it’s only a short journey since Ella is so restless.

Harry parks up and before they can even open a car door Anne is stood with the door open with a wide smile

“Nanna” Ella yells jumping up and down in her car seat making YN and Harry laugh. Harry gets out and helps Ella out of her seat, who is then quick to run to her nan

“Merry Christmas Nana”

“Merry Christmas dear. Come on dinners almost done”

After dinner Ella, YN and Harry all fall asleep on the sofa together for a well needed nap.

#harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles x oc #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles #dad harry styles

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harry-styles-obsessed · 2 months

Text

Requested: yes.

Synopsis: your and Harry’s daughter has been sick with some sort of fever and stomach bug for the last few weeks— a month after Harry went away on tour meaning your daughter was clingy for her dad, her separation anxiety getting worse. Harry hears of the news from you and he despite reassuring you that he’ll continue touring can’t just let his baby girl be sick and needing him… read on to find out what he does.

Dad! Harry x yn x daughter reader

Warnings: mention of being sick, puke, being poorly but mainly fluff of both daughter and reader. Enjoy!!

©️ please do not copy or translate my work.

Your daughter Layla was sick with a nasty bug. She had been for the past three weeks and she was constantly crying for her dad. It was heartbreaking for you because you hated seeing your baby girl crying. You were resting on the sofa arm wrapped around your daughter as she was curled up in your side, a bucket by your feet filled with puke and loads of used tissues sprawled out all over the place from the amount of tissues she had used. Layla was only 7 so being sick wasn’t nice for her— she had been puking for days now and you were concerned, getting advice from doctors who advised you to keep her home and let the medication work through her body. Which you did. But of course it wasn’t going to instantly make her better. You just had to be strong for her. You sigh softly running a hand through your hair which was messy from how stressed you had been. “Mummy” the little girl soon cried out, hiccuping and you quickly grabbed the bucket holding it underneath her chin just in time for her to puke into it her eyes remaining shut clearly still half asleep.. “you’re okay baby. Mummy’s here… mummy’s here..” you guided rubbing her back gently, soothing her through it as you pushed down the twisting in your stomach. It had occurred to you last night that you had most definitely too caught the bug but you didn’t care. You needed to take care of Layla.

You sighed quietly pushing her hair back as you hushed her gently, her soon leaning down again cuddling into you as she relaxed. You played with her hair lightly until eventually she had fallen asleep Toy Story on in the background before your phone buzzed. You without looking answered it lifting it to your ear “hi.” You murmured clearing your throat. “Hello my love.. how is she?” Harry’s voice rang through the phone and you sighed, you missed him deeply, you missed his touch— his smell. “Not great.” You admitted softly gazing down at the little girl. “She’s thrown up 24/7. She’s got a fever and I’m just concerned about her.” You murmured quietly to make sure not to wake her. “Want me to come home?” He questioned and you quickly shook your head before realising he couldn’t see you, you were sleep deprived to say the least. “No. Don’t let your fans down.. Ive got this under control.” You assured him yet his silence proved he was doubting you, worried about you and tempted to come home. “Harry keep doing what you love. Okay? I love you. I’ll face time you later on tonight as Layla wants to see your face okay?” Harry remained silent for a few moments silently contemplating whether to come home or not before he sighed softly “okay my love… I look forward to that. Sending my love. I love you.” “I love you too.” You spoke with a small smile before hanging up as you relaxed back into the sofa gazing at the tv as you began falling in and out of consciousness yet you never could properly fall asleep needing to make sure Layla was okay no matter what.

You weren’t sure how long had passed maybe a couple hours as it was now nearing morning time again, but you were holding your daughters hair back as she threw up in the toilet “it’s okay… good job… I’m here.” You comforted. Your stomach churned once again and you had to hold back your own sick, taking a deep breath as you attempted to breathe through it a strange pain in your stomach. As Layla finally stopped you helped her get up wiping her mouth and flushing the toilet before helping her walk back towards her bedroom all until a rather loud creak grabbed your attention making you tense up– you looked towards the source of what had created the sound before your eyes locked on those familiar green eyes. “Harry….” You whispered tears threatening to form in your eyes, Layla letting out a squeal Harry grinning from ear to ear as he slowly crouched down, bag slipping off his shoulder and falling onto the floor staying crouched to Layla’s height before he opened his arms for her his smile wide and bright as he tilted his head to the side “oh baby girl are you feeling a little bit poorly?” He questioned, you let go of Layla’s hand the small girl sprinting towards her daddy before she jumped into Harry’s arms almost knocking him over, but he stayed upright wrapping his arms tightly around her as he lifted her up spinning her around once. You watched with loving eyes your vision going slightly dizzy “harry— I just need to rest for a bit.. okay.” You spoke softly, you felt awful and although you wanted to hug him you didn’t think your legs would manage to keep you upright and you didn’t want to scare your daughter. Harry nodded watching as you entered your bedroom, his attention falling back to Layla as he set her back down on the floor hands lightly resting on her waist as he looked into her eyes before he raised a hand to her forehead “oh dear you are rather warm.” He murmured with a frown before he stood up straighter grabbing onto her hand as he walked with her back down stairs having her sit down on the sofa before he began searching through the medicine box.

He soon found Calpol and a thermometer before he walked back over to Layla “can I sleep daddy?” She murmured sadly Harry looking into her eyes seeing the exhaustion and sadness before he nodded “of course baby. After this okay?” She nodded and Harry smiled. “Arm up sweetheart.” He spoke pressing the small round button hearing the beep before he slid the thermometer underneath Layla’s armpit allowing it to take her temperature as he measured out some medicine for her to take, carefully spooning it into her mouth “good girl.” He praised with a small smile just in time for the thermometer to beep and he pulled it away from her checking it… too hot for normal. He exhaled calmly “it’s not good baby. But hopefully the medicine will get rid of your pains okay? Let’s go back upstairs yeah?” He spoke and she whined attaching herself to his neck, and Harry smiled softly before he lifted her up into his embrace as he carried her towards the stairs, carrying her up them her legs wrapped around his waist. “I missed you daddy.” She murmured to him quietly making his heart clench. “I missed you too darling. But I promise to be here for you until you feel better.”

Unbeknownst to you Harry had postponed his entire tour extending the days to another day just so he could see Layla and you. He carried the small girl into her room before laying her down and tucking her in, the Calpol already working as she fell into a deep sleep drowsily murmuring that she loved him. He covered her up in her blankets securing her favourite teddy under her arm before he kissed her cheek, turning on her night light before silently exiting the room pulling the door to so it was closed but not fully shut. He then wandered into your and his shared room finding you fast asleep, curled up, hands pressed firmly against your belly. He frowned in slight concern and walked towards you, sitting down. As the bed dipped and you felt a hand touch against your back you whined softly. “Darling you’re boiling.” The familiar voice spoke feeling your forehead and Harry exhaled “let me get you some medicine” “no.” You grabbed onto his wrist “already done…” you murmured tiredly and he nodded noticing a sick bucket off to the side on the floor. You must’ve caught the bug. He gently wrapped his arms around you pulling you close, as his slender fingers stroked against your stomach soothing it as best as he could, listening to your breathing as it began to calm down until you had fallen asleep. He remained awake keeping an eye on you for about fifty minutes.

“Daddy” he heard a whimpered voice, a small hand resting against his back and he slowly sat up, seeing Layla teddy in arms as she was close to sobbing. “I don’t feel good daddy.” He carefully leaned forwards helping her up onto the bed before he laid down with her, having her between you and him “I don’t feel good” she whimpered and Harry stroked her hair soothingly “I know baby… I know…” he began humming a soft tune to her, her hands soon grasping onto his larger one as she began playing with his fingers until eventually she was half asleep, tracing his tattoos lightly before she had fallen into another deep sleep. He too began relaxing before he fell into a sleep like state… but what felt like seconds later which was actually twenty minutes he felt the bed move abruptly eyes snapping open enough to see you rushing towards the bathroom hand covering your mouth. He silently but quickly stood up, hair slightly messy from where Layla had woken up unbeknown to him and played with his hair slightly. He rushed after you and when he found you he quickly pulled your hair back securing it back with a hairband he found on the counter as his free hand then slid down to rub against your back as you threw up until eventually you had fallen back into Harry, forehead sweaty and hot as he held you as you panted grimacing in pain “I don’t want to get you sick…” you murmured tiredly but Harry didn’t respond only holding you closer, he didn’t care if he got sick. He had to be there for you and Layla even if it risked getting the sickness… he honestly didn’t care. You and Layla were the most important things in his life. Nothing else. He had to look after you no matter what. And he always would.

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meetmymouth · 10 months

Text

you, me, teddy, and baby

an extra from the series ‘theadora’. read everything here!

notes: talks of pregnancy/pregnancy tests. read the last part of theadora HERE !!

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you… Happy birthday dear Teddy, happy birthday to you!

Harry lowers his phone just enough to call for Theadora. “Make a wish, T!”

“Harry, fix the candle,” she says, making Harry turn to her as Thea looks between her parents. “The ‘five’ looks crooked.”

This makes everyone in the room laugh, and Harry does what he’s told– but not before rolling his eyes.

She knows he doesn’t mean it, and she knows they’ve been really stressed recently, between Thea having problems at school and a couple of leaked songs from Harry’s old albums.

It’s been peaceful, though, being a family. She knows what everyone’s saying online– knows what they’re talking about, but she stopped caring a long time ago. As soon as she stopped looking her name up, or Harry’s, things have been a lot easier; life, together, as a family, has been easier.

They still have ups and downs, like most couples do, but they manage. She knows whatever happens, Harry has her back– their backs.

He’s been off tour for a while, and they spent most of their time travelling as a family. They went to all the places Harry has been without them by his side, ‘I want to experience it with you two’, and when they came back to London last year, he finally asked her to move back in– officially. They renovated parts of his house, and Theadora got a new bed, and a whole different room. She picked what colour she wanted for her walls, her furniture, and after countless tantrums over rugs and chest of drawers, she couldn’t have been happier with her new bedroom.

“You Styles’ can’t go a day without glitter, can you?” Jenny laughs into her glass of wine, and Y/N turns her attention to her– she’s admiring the jumpsuit she’s got on.

She smiles. “I’m not a ‘Styles’, remember?”

“My bad,” Jenny grins. “Would be nice though, no?”

Y/N hums. “Maybe.”

She takes a sip from her own glass, but the taste suddenly feels too bitter on her tongue. Deciding against drinking more, she places it on the table behind her, and excuses herself to walk towards where Harry and Theadora are standing, surrounded by friends and family.

Thea is talking about her favourite friend in Year One, and Harry nods along, turning to the group around them with a proud smile.

“And,” Harry notes, “She got the trophy for lining up beautifully this week,” he adds, squeezing Thea’s cheeks with both hands.

The five-year-old grins, and Y/N doesn’t have the heart to correct Harry, ‘it’s for the whole class, H, not just Teddy’.

She joins the group, but Harry’s arm finds her before his eyes do, and he wraps his arm around her waist, pulling her close to him.

“Hi, baby,” he whispers, squeezing her hip. He presses a kiss on her temple, and she smiles.

“Hi,” she squeezes the hand on her hip, and her own hand finds the top of Thea’s head, ruffling the curls.

Thea looks up, and smiles, big teeth reminding her of Harry’s, and she matches her smile, squeezing her warm cheek.

“Hi, cutie.”

“Can I stay at auntie Gemma tomorrow?”

“It’s a school night, Teddy,” she smiles.

Thea’s smile falls. “But daddy said I could,” she mutters, lips pursing.

Y/N looks up at Harry, and she almost laughs at the face he’s pulling.

“Well,” she begins, squeezing Harry’s hip. “Daddy should’ve asked mummy as well, yeah? We’ll talk about it tomorrow after school, yeah?” She strokes the side of her face. “How’s that sound?”

.・゜

Tea. Lots of tea and fruit pastilles.

Harry watches from his side of the bed, glasses on– hand holding a novel. He looks puzzled, eyebrows raised and his mouth parted as she devours the last of her fruit pastilles.

“Y/N?” Harry calls, voice wavering between worried and amused.

She looks up, cross-legged on the edge of the bed. “Yes?”

“Fruit pastilles at eleven o’clock at night?”

A raise of her eyebrows, and he knows he’s fucked up.

“So?”

He clears his throat. “Are you okay?”

“What the fuck, Harry?”

“Babe, what–”

“Stop watching me– stop watching me eat and drink,” she throws the empty bag at him, and he dodges it even though it falls nowhere near him. “You’ve been watching me all night– watching my every move.”

“Babe,” he lets out a surprised laugh. “What? I haven’t been doing that…”

“Mhm,” a vigorous nod. “You have! Are you calling me fat?”

“Look,” Harry places his book on her side of the bed. “I’m sorry. I just– I know you don’t normally like eating stuff before bed, it makes you uncomfortable; that’s why I’ve– never mind. I would never, ever call you fat,” he shakes his head.

He walks over to her, arms wide open as he wraps them around her, and she lets out a sigh.

“I’m sorry,” she says, words ushered against his warm, naked chest. She places her hand where his heart is. “I’ve been really awful lately, I know.”

“You haven’t,” he whispers into her hair. He kisses below her ear, earning a giggle from her.

“You can be honest.”

“You haven’t been awful. Just…”

She looks up, eyebrows raised.

Harry continues. “Just… on edge?”

“Hm.”

“Come on,” he sighs, kissing her nose. “Let’s sleep.”

She nods. “Be back in a sec, need to pee.”

She watches him nod, and walk over to his side of the bed and open the duvet properly before getting in. He’s placing his book on his bedside table when she’s closing the door to the ensuite.

She doesn’t know what possesses her to reach the pregnancy tests at the bottom of the small storage box where she keeps her useless stuff in. She knows she was extremely moody and she ate things she wouldn’t normally eat when she was pregnant with Theadora.

Opening the package, she takes a deep breath, and sits on the toilet. It takes a few seconds to do her business, and she waits with the test in her hand before she can wash her hands.

Her period has been late, she knows, though it’s never been regular for her. Couple of days late meant nothing usually– at least for her.

The hidden tests have been on her mind since yesterday, though she hasn’t been up to it until tonight.

The test forgotten by the sink, she thinks of the possibility of being pregnant again. She knows Harry wouldn’t be upset, though she can’t help but feel anxious over the possibility of him not being ready, or even worse: what if he only wanted one?

She knows he loves Teddy, and she knows he loves children, but were they ready for it all over again? Especially now that things have been so good between them…

“Y/N?” Harry knocks on the door, and she jolts forward, as if someone’s pushed her into the sink.

It’s when she remembers the pregnancy test, and she grabs it, holds it up, and her eyes begin tearing up at the result.

Another knock, and the door is pushed open, revealing Harry.

“Are you okay? I was worried when you didn’t answer,” he murmurs, clearly sleepy.

When she doesn’t answer, the stick hidden in her palm, Harry takes a step towards her, and he places his hand on her cheek.

“Baby?”

“Harry,” she murmurs, tears running down her cheeks. “Harry.”

“What’s wrong? Are you hurt– did you fall? I didn’t hear anything–”

“Harry.”

“What? What’s happening?” He looks around, then searches her face. “You’re scaring me.”

“Harry,” she says, for the final time. She places the test on the counter, and watches Harry’s gaze fall where it lays on the grey marble.

“What is that– is that...”

“Yes.”

He looks up, eyes glimmering. “What– you’re– when? What’s it say…” he whispers, but he doesn’t reach for it– perhaps, he’s scared, too.

Oh God, she thinks, he hates me.

“I–”

“Oh my fucking God, Y/N,” she looks up from her socked-feet, and watches Harry analyse the stick.

His eyes are wet, lips wobbly like the time Theadora fell and grazed her knee, but despite all of that, his green eyes are so shiny– they glint under the mellow light of their bathroom.

“Baby,” he looks up, trying to find her wavering gaze. “Baby, look at me– did you look? Did you see?”

“Harry…”

“What? What is it?”

She lets out a sob, the anxiety and the after-taste of the fruit pastilles becoming too much. “I’m pregnant.”

Harry lets out a choked laugh. “Why– why are you crying, oh my God.”

Oh my God.

“Are you angry?”

“What? Fuck– come here,” he places the test on the counter, and grabs her cheeks. He presses kisses all over her face. “Are you– are you upset?”

“I don’t know– you–” she shakes with another sob, but laughs at the same time.

“Y/N,” he places his hands on her shoulders. “Are you upset? Did you– do you not want this?”

“I do– I do. Fuck– I don’t even know why I’m crying!”

“Ah,” Harry looks around. “I love you, I love you so much and I’m so, so happy about this. Baby, look at me– look,” he grabs her chin, and she looks up, meeting his gaze. “I’m so happy. You make me so fucking happy. And– whether you want this or not, it doesn’t change anything. I love you. I love our family.”

“Stop–” she pinches his hip. He screeches. “Stop saying shit like that!”

Harry laughs harder, and he hides his beautiful face into her neck. “Why,” he asks, another laughter bubbling in his chest. She likes the sound. “Why not– I’m so fucking happy, fuck…”

She looks up at him, hands wrapping around his waist. She holds him tight. “Are you?” She asks, voice small. “Are you, really? Do you– want this?”

“Fuck– of course, I do. Are you mad? Look at me,” fingers pressed to her chin, he makes her look up again, and their eyes meet. “I love you so much,” he whispers, lips touching with every syllable. I love you, love you, love love love you, he whispers.

She asks to go to bed, but Harry reaches for her hand, and intertwines their fingers. Just before they leave the ensuite, Harry falters, and grabs the pregnancy test, holding it tightly in his palm.

They sit on the bed, shoulders touching, and she leans into his warmth. “Can’t believe you’re holding that– like that,” she mumbles, voice muffled into his naked skin.

He turns to her, and lips touch her forehead. A kiss, then another one.

“Why– what’s wrong with that, that’s my child.”

“I peed on that thing, H.”

“Fuck,” he laughs, holding the stick up to inspect it. He lets out another laugh. “I don’t care.”

She shrugs, kissing his warm shoulder. “Plus,” she says, and grabs the stick, placing it on his bedside table. Harry watches intently, but his breath hitches when she grabs his big hand, and places it on her tummy. “Your child is in here, not in that bloody stick, you silly sausage…”

When she looks up to inspect his gaze, he’s got tears in his eyes. It’s as if he’s just hearing the fact that she’s carrying his child– his second child.

“This is crazy,” he whispers, though she thinks he’s thinking out loud more than anything. “You– they’re in here,” he rubs her belly, then looks up at her, eyes teary. “Wait, are you– do we need to take another one?”

She hums. “What?”

“Another pregnancy test? What if– what if that thing’s broken? I can’t– fuck, I want this so bad, I think I would be depressed if it turns out to be a scam.”

She lets out a laugh. “A scam? No– I don’t think– why would you say that now?”

“I’m sorry! Fuck, even if it’s not real–”

“–Oh my God, stop it, Harry.”

“I want this so much,” he whispers, and kisses the side of her neck. Another kiss, then he moves up to her chin. “I love you– I want this baby.”

“It’s like you’re the one pregnant and not me.”

He pouts. “You know what I mean.”

“Not really,” she whispers. “Can we get in,” she means the bed.

He nods.

They get in, but Harry can’t stop looking at the test on his bedside table. Just before she sighs and tries to cuddle into him, ready to start another conversation about the potential-pregnancy, Harry straightens up in bed, and grabs his phone off the charger.

She rolls her eyes. “What are you doing now?”

“Nothing,” he murmurs, though she hears the camera shutter going off.

She lets out a laugh. “Did you just take a photo of it?”

“Mhm.”

She smiles, and gets comfortable in bed. “Come here, you silly man,” she whispers, hand reaching to touch his naked hip. He moves easily into her hold, and lets her hold him close to her chest.

They look funny, she knows, Harry’s big body folded so he fits into her smaller hold.

They kiss lazily, the kiss getting heated when she travels her hand down his toned chest, until it reaches his joggers. He’s hard– and bare underneath his joggers, so when he lets out a whine, she squeezes him harder over the material of his joggers.

He moans her name, eyes shut, but she reaches and presses an open-mouth kiss on his stubble-covered chin. She sucks the skin, and grabs the band of his joggers, pulling them down just enough so that his hard, leaking cock is out. The tip is a beautiful shade of pink, precum glistening the smooth, shiny skin of his tip.

“Fuuuuuck.”

“I want you to come on my face,” she whispers, thumb swiping against the tip. She squeezes, and he groans, both at the request, and the way she’s squeezing his needy-tip.

“Suck me, then,” he says, teeth gritted. “Come on, baby, give me something.”

She moves her head down, and kisses the tip, licking the wetness before opening her mouth wider. She finally takes him into her mouth, his cock feeling hard and heavy– and so warm inside her mouth, and it makes Harry whine, hips bucking up when she licks the underside of his cock. Humming around his thickness, Harry grabs her by the back of her head, and supports her movement, helping her take more of him– just like she knows he likes.

“You’re so fuckin’ good,” Harry murmurs. “Taking me so good.”

She bobs her head up and down, the velvety walls of her mouth feeling snug, and so warm around his cock. She sucks him in her mouth, can feel him watching her every move as she places her other hand on his balls, squeezing them gently which earns her a throaty moan from Harry. She looks up, finding his gleaming eyes.

It’s a silent conversation they have between them, and he knows.

He does, because he begins moving his hips, fucking into her mouth ever-so-gently as his other hand, the one that’s not wrapped around her hair, travels down to her chest. He squeezes her boob over her t-shirt, then moves it under her chin, wanting to feel her warm skin against his palm rather than the feel of cotton.

He squeezes hard, her nipple hardening under his touch, and she hums around him, which leads him to buck his hips in a more practiced manner, fucking her mouth harder than he was.

“I’m gonna cum,” he mutters, words tasting familiar, and she squeezes his balls once more, fondling them, playing with them before she goes deeper, feeling the tip touching the back of her warm throat.

She sucks him harder and more determined than she was before, and when he tweaks the pebbled nipple between his thumb and index, she takes him out of her mouth, knowing he’s close.

Harry watches her like a hawk, “Want me to cum on your gorgeous face– make a mess?”

Her hand continues her slow strokes, and she nods, squeezing the tip exceptionally hard.

“Fuck,” Harry chokes out, and he comes.

He holds himself at the base, their hands touching as white, sticky stripes coat her face–cheeks, lips, and chin–and she grins at his aim, tongue already peaking out to get a taste.

“Fuck me–”

She hums at the taste. “Love your cum.”

“Jesus– did you just suck me dry after peeing on a stick,” Harry laughs, chest rising up and down, trying to calm down after his high.

She laughs, and gets on her knees, walking backwards on the bed.

“I guess,” she gets on her feet, and walks into the ensuite.

She washes her face, and grabs two face cloths that she uses to take her makeup off. She wets them, and walks back into their bedroom, spotting him laid against the pillows, cock still out, soft against his thigh.

She laughs, and gets on the bed, Harry’s eyes finding hers. “You’re disgusting,” she says, wiping him in between hisses from him.

“Mmh, I love you, too.”

Y/N lets out another sigh, and kisses the top of his head. He looks up, eyes still shiny.

They find their old position in bed, Harry against her chest as they snuggle. Y/N lets out a content sigh, and kisses the top of his head. He looks up, eyes shiny.

“I’ll call Jane tomorrow,” he says, quietly, like he doesn’t want to disturb the stillness of the room. “To make an appointment.”

“Okay.”

“Are you– you’re happy, right?” He rubs the skin under her boobs from under her t-shirt.

“I… am. I’m a bit– you know, nervous,” she smiles, eyes closing, almost falling victim to sleep.

She feels him nod, his soft hair tickling the side of her neck. He hums then, “That’s normal, yeah? No matter what happens, you know you’ve me, right? And Teddy.”

“Yeah,” she murmurs. “I do. You, me, and Teddy.”

A silence falls over their tired bodies.

Harry breaks it. But not before travelling his right hand down to her tummy, stroking the warm skin there before he presses his face into her chest harder. She smiles, eyes still shut.

.・゜

Harry wakes up before her, and he smiles sleepily, nuzzling into the crook of her sleep-warm neck much like Thea would do. He hugs her body closer, and wonders what time it is– and if Thea is about to wake up. It can’t be that late, he thinks, judging by the light outside.

He’s sweaty– they both are, but Harry doesn’t care, and snuggles into her body more as if it’s possible, given their position.

He watches her sleep, eyebrows and jaw relaxed, her chest rising and falling peacefully. He attaches his lips to her clothed-chest, and kisses where her breast is. Totally innocent, and he knows she’s waking up– her breathing changes.

He smiles when he notices she’s refusing to open her eyes. A smile is threatening to appear on her beautiful face, though Harry doesn’t stop the way his hand is travelling down, until it reaches the bottom of her t-shirt. He lifts it up, revealing her naked stomach, and he moves his own body downwards, lips puckering to place a kiss where her belly button is.

“Psst,” he whispers into the skin of her stomach, and he smiles when he notices her muscles tighten– clearly trying not to move. “Anyone in there?”

In the dead silence of their bedroom, Harry strokes her skin, and taps his index finger just above her belly button. “Are you in there?”

“Harry…”

“Shh.”

She matches his tone. “What are you doing?” She whispers, hand resting on top of his head, messing with his already messy, sleep-tousled curls.

“Just, morning chat,” he bites his bottom lip, and presses his ear to her stomach.

He waits, and waits, until his eyes widen at the gurgling noise coming from inside.

He looks up, their eyes meeting.

“Don’t be stupid,” she cuts him off, when she notices him opening his mouth to get a word in. “I’m hungry, and probably need to poo.”

He laughs into her tummy, and kisses the beauty mark there. “You’re a disgusting woman.”

“Yeah,” she smiles, stretching.

“So,” he straightens up, and kisses her cheek. Then her nose, then her lips. “Morning.”

“Mmh,” another kiss. “Good morning.”

“Coffee and yoga before Teddy wakes up?” He asks, gaze hopeful.

“Ugh.”

He smiles, and opens his arms so she can snuggle into his body, clearly not wanting to get up yet.

“I’ll make you chocolate chip pancakes…”

She looks up. “And vanilla ice-cream?”

“Yes, baby.”

“Okay, let’s go.”

They kiss lazily as the coffee brews, both dressed in a soft jogger set, and she bites his bottom lip just before turning her attention back to their coffee. They drink, do some stretching and Harry guides her through some yoga moves, and they move to their spacious sofa. She places herself in front of him, leaning against his chest as they sip from their second cups.

It’s not long before Thea wakes up, and they prepare breakfast together, Harry cutting up fruit while she boils the egg. She makes a quick pancake batter mixed with veg for Thea, and Harry prepares their own breakfast, humming to an Eagles song coming from the speakers.

They eat, Harry records Thea while the five-year-old acts like she’s on MasterChef, and then, Y/N places their dishes into the dishwasher as Harry cleans their mess off the kitchen table.

“Jane messaged back,” Harry comes behind her, and snuggles into her, placing a kiss on the back of her neck.

Hours later, they’re inside the private clinic in East London, and Harry intertwines their fingers while they wait for Jane to see something.

They don’t understand what’s going on, and with every shape appearing on the screen, Harry holds his breath. He thinks this is it, this is our baby, and it makes Jane laugh, seeing the focused look on his face.

“You took the test yesterday?” Jane wants to confirm, as she clicks something on the keyboard.

Y/N hums. Harry squeezes her fingers.

“Well,” Jane presses one last key, and they both look up at her. “Congratulations,” she smiles, placing her hand on Y/N’s shoulder. “You’re five-weeks pregnant.”

Her bottom lip starts trembling, and she feels a sharp pain– clearly Harry squeezing the hell out of her fingers. She looks up, tears in her eyes, and it’s funny how they give each other the same look.

The same look they shared five years ago.

Jane leaves, and Harry sits next to her legs, hand never leaving hers.

“Baby,” he whispers, lips already puckered as he chases hers.

They kiss lazily, her hands around his neck, touching the hairs there before she pulls away, and Harry presses his forehead against hers.

“What’s wrong?” He says, voice laced with worry. He notices the look in her eyes. He knows it too well. “What’s wrong, baby– hey.”

“Harry…”

“What is it?”

“Please don’t leave us,” she whispers, shame and heartache clear in her voice. It’s timid, her touch on his chest, and Harry surges forward. He kisses her– hard.

“Never,” he whispers. “I’m never leaving, you hear me– look at me, Y/N,” he says, and she looks up, looks into his teary eyes. “I’m not leaving. I’m not. Never.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?” He nods, kissing her cheek before his hand drops to her sticky and cold stomach. He strokes the skin, and leans in to press a kiss where he thinks their baby is. “I love you– I love you so much, and I love Teddy so much,” he pauses, and looks up at her. Hand still on her stomach, he whispers, “And I love them.”

They pick Thea up from school, and she talks about her day, the drawing she made in Music because Mr Anderson is gone, I think he’s dead.

“I’m sure– I’m sure he’s not, sweetheart,” Harry says, voice trembling a little as he eyes Y/N. He mouths a what the fuck, and they hold their laughter while Thea goes on and on about her day.

They come home, Harry bathes Thea–more like they stay in the tub for a long time because they’re both kids who love to play with bubbles–and Y/N calls them downstairs when the food’s ready. It’s a simple pasta dish, because she knows Thea loves it.

“Did you give your book back to Mrs Bea, Teddy?”

Thea looks up at Y/N and nods. “Yes. She gave me another one. It’s about a zog. It’s really not fun.”

Harry chuckles, closing his mouth when he almost chokes. “Why, Teddy?”

“I don’t care about zogs, daddy. And,” she reaches for more warm bread. “This book is super easy. I can read it in two seconds. I can read harder books.”

“Two seconds, really?” Y/N asks, reaching to ruffle her damp curls.

“Mhm. Zion timed me. Two seconds. Maybe a bit more.”

“Okay, bunny.”

“I’m also thinking of sleeping in your bedroom, mummy. You and daddy and me,” she nods, clearly to herself, and Y/N shares a look with Harry.

Harry beats her to it, though. “Okay… why? Is everything okay in your room?” He asks, putting more pasta in his mouth.

Thea shrugs, turning her fork in the bowl. “Yes. I just feel lonely,” she looks at Y/N. “Mummy, you have daddy. Daddy you have mummy. And me,” she notes, tone higher. “I have no one to cuddle at night.”

“Oh,” Y/N chuckles.

“You can sleep with us tonight, Teddy,” Harry agrees, his hand finds Y/N’s thigh under the table. He squeezes gently.

When they’re settled in bed, the three of them, Harry reads her a few pages of Five Minutes’ Peace, and they snuggle under the duvet.

Harry turns to Y/N, looking at her over Theadora’s head of curls. They have a silent conversation before Harry clears his throat. He closes the book, and places it on his bedside table.

She gets it.

“Teddy,” she whispers, stroking her cheek.

She looks up.

“Your dad and I want to tell you something,” she says, watching the child nod.

Harry turns to his side, and kisses her forehead, waiting for Y/N to continue.

“What do you think about having a little brother or sister?” She asks, and Harry knows she’s nervous.

He is, as well.

Theadora hums.

“Now?” She asks, folding her arms over the duvet. She looks cute, lips pursed in thought.

She doesn’t sound upset, or angry.

Harry smiles at the question.

Y/N looks up at him, though he lets her do this on her own.

“Yeah– would you want that?”

“I think so… when is she coming here?” Theadora asks, eyes on Y/N.

“Um, nine months,” she says, smiling at the way she’s referring to the baby as ‘she’.

“Wow,” Theadora whispers, the time-frame sounding like an eternity. “Is she in your belly, now?”

She clears her throat, not expecting the question, nor the look she’s giving her. She’s looking down at her stomach, and Harry’s hand finds Theadora’s curls, stroking the side of her face.

“Yeah,” Y/N whispers. She nods.

“Wow.”

Harry can’t wait any longer. “How does that make you feel, Teddy?”

“I guess,” she says, biting her pinky into her mouth. Y/N watches with her lip trapped between her teeth. “I guess I want her to be here now. Maybe this week. I can’t wait that long,” she huffs, making them both laugh.

Y/N looks up with tears in her eyes, meeting Harry’s gaze.

“They need to stay inside mummy’s tummy so that they’re healthy when they’re born, T!” Harry laughs, kissing her cheek.

“They? Are there two?”

Y/N smiles. “One, but we don’t know if it’s a girl, or a boy.”

“I want a girl.”

“You want a sister?” Harry blows a raspberry into her neck, earning a shrill scream from her.

“Oh my Gosh,” the small child exclaims. “If baby is a girl, I can give her my dresses. And,” she gets one leg out of the duvet, clearly feeling hot. She turns to Harry, hands finding both his cheeks as she squeezes his face. “I can teach her your songs.”

Harry smiles, tears welling up in his eyes. “Of course.”

Y/N laughs, having always loved seeing Harry and Teddy interact.

“Maybe she can come to your concerts and watch you with me,” Thea thinks out loud, hands now playing with Harry’s cross necklace.

“Well,” Y/N chuckles. “She’s going to come wherever we go, Teddy,” she smiles, stroking her back. She presses a kiss on her neck.

Thea turns to her, and snuggles into her body, hand still around Harry’s necklace. “Everywhere?”

“Yeah. She’s going to be your little sister. Like best friends.”

“Okay… she’s coming to Nana’s, too? And Grammy’s?”

“Yes, Teddy.”

“Okay, well, I need to talk to Nana and Grammy,” Thea murmurs, sleep clearly taking over.

“Oh?” Harry smiles, kissing her nose. He fixes the duvet around her, and watches Y/N press her own ‘goodnight’ kiss to her chubby cheek.

It’s silent after that, and they both watch Theadora sleep, before Harry’s hand finds Y/N’s tummy under the duvet.

He rubs her tummy for a while before she places her hand over his, and they share a look.

“I guess she’s happy?” She whispers.

“I think? Though,” Harry gets comfortable, now laying on his back. “The last comment had me worried,” he laughs quietly.

“Which one?”

“How she wanted to ask my mum and your step-mum about the baby.”

She lets out a gasp. “I need to call them first thing in the morning,” she whispers, turning to her side. She strokes Thea’s arm, and finds Harry’s loving gaze. “She’s such a gossip, she’d tell them before we did.”

“I love you,” Harry smiles.

“I love you, too.”

“Thank you,” he closes his eyes.

She lets out a snort. “Stop thanking me for silly things,” she pinches his hand, and he smiles harder, eyes still shut. “I love you so much, you’re such a great dad.”

He opens his eyes at that. “Am I?”

It’s a constant worry for him, she knows.

“You are,” she says, hand cupping his cheek as he leans into the touch.

They stay like that for a while, and the last thing she remembers before falling asleep is Harry’s warm hand finding her tummy once again.

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jarofstyles · 9 months

Note

Kinda fluff?? But y/n crying over something not too serious and Harry softly smiling and comforting her with his hands stroking over her teary cheeks and he says ‘you look so pretty even when you’re crying, my pretty girl -you’re okay :)’ somethin along those lines???? Idk

omg ok I imagine this as pregnant y/n and almost-dadrry

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----

"I'm s-sorry I'm crying." Y/N whimpered out, her hands wiping at her cheeks as Harry sat in front of her. "It's just so cute and you're so nice to me even when I'm mean and I snapped at you b-before you left." A fresh round of tears boiled over, trailing over her cheeks.

"Shh. S'alright. My sweet girl. There's no need for tears." He hushed her, reaching over to wipe them away with the sleeve of his sweatshirt. He had gone out to the shops for them earlier this morning and Y/N had been very upset over the last of the strawberries having been used for his protein smoothie. She had been thinking about them all night and to go down and see the empty container on the counter was devastating. Especially to a pregnant Y/N. The hormones had taken over and she had felt a bit out of her mind.

Her tone had not been kind, more accusatory and convinced in her brain that it had been a personal attack. She was huffy and stompy and called him an ass before he left, and Harry being the understanding man he was simply frowned soft before kissing her forehead on his way out.

It hadn't taken long for her to realize she was overreacting- which meant tears the entire time he was gone, and sobs when he had arrived back with chocolate covered strawberries and a stuffed duck toy that Y/N had been moony eyed over in the shops a few days back, along with the other groceries.

Harry was so nice to her even when she was being mean. It hurt her heart that she had been nasty to him over something so trivial and then he arrived with peace offerings he didn't even need to make.

"But I was so mean!" She sniffled, eyes watery and slightly red as her bottom lip puffed out. "I didn't deserve the treats. Didn't deserve anything because I'm a fucking mean pregnant lady and m'so lucky to have you."

Harry cooed, tugging his grumpy woman into his lap. His hand cradled the back of her head and tucked her into his neck, letting her cry it out as he rubbed up and down her back, her hands balled into his shirt and the stuffed duck toy in between their bodies.

"You do deserve it. S'my baby in there causing all the fuss, hm?" His tone was gentle, soothing her hiccuped cries. She felt pathetic like this but somehow he knew how to make her calm down. "You were upset and it's okay to be upset. Don't like being snapped at but I know you don't mean it. You're tired and sore, and growing my baby in this body is no small feat. You're doing amazing." His lips kissed the side of her head as she stayed nestled in his chest.

"Always going to take care of you. You deserve nice things and to be held when you cry. Not gonna be mean to our baby when they get upset, hm?" he felt her shake her head, tears wetting his shirt. He didn't give a shit. "Exactly, my love. I'm always going to take care of you. Thank you for apologizing. I accept it- but I understand why you're so cranky." Harry had dreamt of getting Y/N pregnant for as long as he could remember. He could take a few snaps and sobs for this. She was the love of his life.

"Now, let's finish crying it out so we can eat those berries, hm? Look absolutely gorgeous when you cry but it breaks my heart."

#jarofstyles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles one shot #harry styles fanfic #harry styles smut #harry writing #harry styles imagine #harry drabble #harry styles blurb #harry styles writing #dadrry #daddy harry styles #dad harry styles #dad!harry #Harry styles fluff #Harry fluff #Harry smut #Harry styles au

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ifancyharry · 1 year

Text

Bad habit (2)

In which YN is Harry’s daughter’s teacher, and she and Harry used to be friends in college; smut; daddy!kink; fluff; angst; dad!harry (read part 1 here)

Word count: 18K+

“Find a place for us to sit, pet, I’ll go order”.

When Harry had told her he wanted to catch up, YN certainly didn’t think he was serious. She doesn’t know why any time it comes to Harry, she thinks he’s joking or making fun of her, how pathetic could she be that even the thought of him wanting to grab a coffee with her makes her think he’s taking the piss out of her?

She doesn’t know why, but she does, and when he had texted her if she was fine to meet him in the late afternoon for a coffee, she had to read the message three times to fully grasp its content.

She couldn’t believe her eyes, and she still can’t fully grasp the extent of it, when Harry is walking back to the table she’d chosen holding a tray with two coffees in his hands and a small ceramic white plate with a slice of banana bread with two small forks on it.

Oh god. He looks good. He’s so pretty it’s unfair, and YN thinks it’s nice seeing him outside of the school environment. He’s much more relaxed, and she notices he carries himself around with a sort of gleam to him, and many heads turn to look at him when he walks, but, then again, it has always been like this when it came to him.

As he’s walking back with their orders, she can fully grasp how he’s dressed: a pair of distressed jeans hug his legs, tucked away in a pair of black Uggs that YN finds adorable (even more so when she remembers Aidi owns a pair exactly like him’s), and a black hoodie on top, his pink fluorescent beanie tucked away in the back pocket of his jeans. When he catches her looking, she averts her gaze quickly, but she doesn’t miss the smile he throws in her direction.

She tries not to blush too much when he sits in front of her and pushes her coffee towards her direction. He then takes the ceramic plate off the tray and positions it in the center of the table.

She takes a sip of her coffee and her eyes close as she tastes the sweet hot drink, “still ‘member your coffee order”, he chuckles, smirking with his lips around his own mug of coffee.

YN takes a big gulp before setting her mug down, her cold fingers wrapping around it to keep some of the warmth with her. She doesn’t know how he could be so carefree in the way he delivers these types of informations.

To YN, remembering how someone takes their coffee after probably what could be more than five years, is a big deal. Like big. Because she remembers only a few of her friend’s coffee orders. And among these, there’s Harry’s. But that isn’t special on her part, because she used to have a crush on him and she’d always be extra mindful of every little thing he did, and she knows for a fact that wasn’t Harry’s case when it came to her, so, once again, it doesn’t have to mean anything.

It doesn’t, right? She needs to convince herself many times of this before she goes down a rabbit hole too intricate for her sanity.

“So…” she trails off, uncertain on how to make small talk, “’s been a long time, huh?”

Fuck, when she thought she couldn’t get any more awkward than she already was, she delivers the exact same line he had told her days ago at the school.

“Yeah” he giggles, and if he noticed that she repeated his own words he doesn’t let her know, “you’re a teacher now.”

Her brows furrow in the center and she throws him a puzzled look, “I am. Don’t try to act too disappointed. You say it like there’s something wrong with it.”

“No, no, ’s not that” he’s quick to say, waving a hand in front of him, “of course there’s nothing wrong with being a teacher, bug, I just… I remember your stories.”

It’s weird to her, how he would go there not even ten minutes into their coffee date, and she wonders what his point is. The chosen pet name doesn’t go unnoticed, and she feels the sound of her heart beating in her ears, but she knows it doesn’t have to mean anything. Probably too much baby talk with his three years old.

“Wha’ you used t’write in class. — he clarifies — you were good. Like… we’re talkin’ Stephen King good. I can’t believe yeh’re not writin’ anymore”

“Who told you I’m not writing anymore?” She teases.

He shrugs, “Figured you aren’t…”

“I’m not” she admits sadly, shaking her head. “But I wasn’t that good. I was… okay”

“You were, though. You really were… gotta give yeh self more credit”

She looks down and plucks a piece of banana bread with her fork, bringing the small bite to her mouth and closing her lips around it.

She doesn’t miss how his eyes fall to her mouth, and she suddenly feels too hot.

She clears her throat and he averts his gaze quickly, bringing the mug to his lips and taking a small sip of his coffee.

“Let’s talk about you, then” she points her index finger in his direction and grins jokingly, “do you even work? Or are you a stay at home dad?”

She feels a little silly now, and she wonders if he understood the true meaning behind her question. Of Course she wanted to know what he was doing with his life, but she really, really, really wanted to know if he was married, too. Can you blame her?

He blows a laugh through his nose and, “Bloody hell, I wish! Stay at home dad — he repeats in a mocking manner —, no… I write stuff”

YN furrows her eyebrows as she chews around a rather dry piece of banana bread “stuff? What do you mean?”

“Whatcha think I mean? Books, ‘f course! Silly thing yeh are” he laughs and YN really wishes the ground would open and swallow her in one big bite.

“Well” she trails off, “I recall you mustn’t be very good. Never seen your name in a book shop” she raises her brows in a challenging manner and her lips open in a grin across her face.

She likes teasing Harry because he gets all flustered and antsy, and for a moment it makes her feel in control. For a brief moment, though, because he’s quick to respond with a wit remark.

“‘Nough o’that! Yeh haven’t seen my name ‘cos I write under a different one…”

“I don’t believe you” she says, shaking her head.

He raises his eyebrows in surprise and smiles a sly smile at her, “have you ever read ‘The Argonauts’?”

“‘f course I have” she scoffs, “it’s like the most popular book of the last… shut up! Shut up! No, no way!”

“Don’ act so surprised, pet! Yeh’re gonna shatter my ego” he says, showing one of his dimples in a sideway smile. YN has to refrain herself from poking her index finger into it.

“Uhm, sorry… it’s just… wasn’t expecting it”

Harry watches as she lowers her head and brings the mug of coffee to her lips, taking a small sip. Her cheeks are pink and Harry wonders if it’s from the warmth of the drink or because of him, he likes to think it’s the latter, but he knows it’s probably not. YN has always been one hard to read, and as the time passes, he observes that hasn’t changed. She’s slightly more open now, at least she engages in a conversation, whereas before, she always seemed too busy to talk to him.

“You could do it too if only you wanted” he shrugs.

He’s aware the atmosphere between them suddenly changes, but he doesn’t regret his words. He remembers how passionate she was about writing, and he remembers how good she was too, much better than him, and it pains him to think she’s spent years not knowing it.

“Maybe I don’t want to.” She snaps, “you don’t know me like that anymore”

“Think I never did, bug” he says, and YN doesn’t miss the embittered grimace that spreads across his features.

“Aidi is a cute kid” YN says after a while, tracing the handle of her mug with her fingertip. She notices he hasn’t eaten the cake, and she pushes the plate closer to him.

“She is” he smiles happily, picking up the other fork and dipping in the banana bread, “love her so much. Dunno what I’d do without her”

YN reciprocates his smile, “she’s very polite. You and her mum did a good job”.

She bites her bottom lip and she feels mortified. What possessed her to say that, she doesn’t know, and if Harry wasn’t aware of her crush up to that point, he must have definitely understood now that she manipulated the entire conversation on finding out if he has a partner.

Harry looks in her eyes with a glint in them, and he smiles amused, “are yeh askin’ me if I’m single?”

“What! No! You obviously aren’t, I’m not…”

He interrupts her with a loud laugh and “i’m just teasin’, love. Her mum isn’t in the picture. She bailed when Aidi wasn’t even one. Claimed it was too much, she was too much.”

“Oh, Harry. I’m really sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything” she smiles sadly, and she stretches a hand across the table to meet his, which she squeezes lightly.

“’s okay. I don’ blame her. A child ’s a big responsibility” he shrugs, and when YN goes to remove her hand, he only squeezes it tighter, “but she definitely didn’t raise her”

YN nods and throws him a brief smile, the skin of her hand burning under his touch. Harry doesn’t remove his hand until the very last moment they have to leave, and she feels both hot and cold in his presence.

She had forgotten what it was like, being in his presence, and if her feelings were under control before, she feels them inside her like a raging river now, pushing to be let out.

It’s weird, to her, because it’s both premature and both too late, now, and despite the shift in their dynamic, and despite feeling like the universe might have given her a second chance, she isn’t brave enough. She’d never speak first. It’s a tale as old as times, and it’s been like that since she was little, and perhaps that’s why her relationships with the other sex stayed circumscribed to awkward hookups with strangers she’d met at bars, sometimes even single parents, but that was very, very awkward after (and it happened only one time, so it doesn’t even count!)

“‘m really happy we did this” he smiles. They’re both walking out of the coffee shop now, and he holds the door open for her, and YN really tries not to stumble on her feet. Now, that would be very awkward.

Maybe, it’s a cruel joke of the universe, or she’s just as clumsy as a little kid, because as soon as she steps outside, she turns around to wait for him, and in doing that, her shoe stamps on the untied lace of the other shoe, and she feels her feet tangled together when she turns.

She prepares herself from the embarrassing imminent fall, but instead she is met with a pair of big arms circling around her waist and holding her in place.

Her nose is pressed against Harry’s chest and she tries to be very subtle in the way she takes a small sniff of his scent, smelling perhaps his fabric softener mixed with a woodsy, tobacco scent, that she figures could be his cologne.

“Woah, easy there, bug” firm, strong, hands take a hold of her bicep and she regains the balance on her feet, her eyes still avoiding his.

“Strong reflexes you have there” she mumbles, and she feels so embarrassed she might throw up all over her sweater.

“Comes in handy with a three year old” he chuckles, his fingers still gripping the fabric of her sweater.

“There’s the little bugger” he says, and before YN can say anything, he crunches down on the ground and starts untying her shoe laces.

He ties them back in their place, and YN smiles despite the embarrassment when she notices he still uses the method of the two bunny ears, and she remembers Aidi telling her that her daddy is teaching her how to tie her own shoes (“because I’m a big girl now, Miss YN”).

“There ya go” he pats behind her knee and smiles slyly at her when he’s back at eye level.

“Thank you” she blushes, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

“You know…” he trails off, and YN finds herself leaning closer, almost too scared that someone else would hear him and that his words weren’t only for her to hear, “you haven’t changed a bit.”

Her mouth twitches and she tries not to feel too disappointed, feeling at a loss for words.

She bites down on her bottom lip and she crosses her hands against her chest to shield herself from the sudden wave of cold that possessed her. She doesn’t know what to say so she chooses to not say anything, she just watches as he takes his car keys out of his pocket.

She has to bite down her tongue to refrain herself from asking about the bunny. Because there definitely is a keychain in the shape of a very cute cream colored bunny hanging from his keys, and she isn’t delusional now. She’s sure it’s a bunny.

She smiles at him when he catches her staring at his fingers wrapped against the keys, and he reciprocates the smile. Unspoken words linger between them, a question about a bunny and an honest conversation about feelings, and it goes way back, to a conversation they both aren’t ready to have.

“See yeh tomorrow?” He asks, to which YN nods, “yes.”

They part after a brief hug and a promise of doing this date thing again, and YN tries not to smile too much on the tube on her way home to not scare the other passengers.

And to think he said he didn’t know her. YN thinks he may know her better than anyone else.

…

It’s a little later in the month now, and despite the chilly weather, YN can’t wait to get to school.

Every year, the teachers organize a small, mid day, trip to the zoo, something easy but that the kids love very much, and parents are welcomed to come too, if they don’t feel safe enough to leave their kids with just the teachers. YN is ecstatic when she walks inside the classroom and a bunch of kids are already inside with Miss Enya, loud chatter fills the room, and she can feel the excitement lingering in the air.

It’s endearing, really, how something as simple as a trip to the zoo could make a kid so happy and giddy, and she just loves the atmosphere in general. She also really loves animals, and this zoo is more of a farm, really, so she knows the animals are being taken care of rather well.

Harry walks in at around 8, Aidi perched up on his lap, swinging her little legs happily.

She smiles at him a warm smile, and once he settles the little girl down, he makes his way quickly towards her.

“Don’ think we’ve ever been this early” he laughs, knuckling at his eyes tiredly. He looks extremely soft, and YN takes in his appearance. He’s wearing a pair of running shorts, with a black sweatshirt on top, the lace tied at the neck, his feet tucked in a pair of white vans with white socks ending at his low calves. YN thinks she’s never seen him dressed as casual as he is now. His hair looks soft and disheveled, as if he’d just washed it a couple of hours before, and YN has to refrain her hand from brushing away a stray curl that’s fallen on his forehead.

“They love the zoo” she simply says, shrugging.

He nods as he looks around and YN wonders if he, too, can feel the excitement that’s lingering in the air, “do yeh need help with somethin’?”

“Can you help me pack the snacks? I’m a little behind” she gestures towards the apples and chocolate bars she had bought earlier in the morning.

“‘f course” he smiles, rising the sleeves of his sweatshirt up to his elbows and positioning himself next to her. He picks a small, clear, plastic bag and takes first an apple and then the milk chocolate bar, putting them both in the small bag along with a napkin, before twisting the ends of the bag and tying it in a knot.

“No bunnies today?” He asks after a while, and YN really has to refrain herself from asking him to repeat himself.

She looks at him with her brows furrowed and he points to her top, a black hoodie similar to his in style, “no bunnies” he repeats, as if it was the most normal thing ever.

At this point, YN really can’t understand whether he’s teasing her or flirting with her.

She tsks her tongue against her palate and once she gains his attention, she brings two hands to the neck of her hoodie, tugging it down and revealing the gold necklace tucked away in the warmth of her shirt.

Harry raises one hand and brushes his fingers against her collarbone to pick up the necklace, not daring to go under her hoodie, and when the pendant is out and swaying against her chest, he picks it up in his hand. It’s still warm, and he feels a twitch in his belly at the thought of where it was tucked away between her breasts.

“See, — he smirks, raising his gaze from the bunny to her eyes — I knew it was a necklace”

He throws the pendant another amused glance, and then he picks the fabric of her hoodie between his thumb and index finger at the neck, letting the necklace fall back to its previous hidden place, and then he turns back to packing the snacks, as if what he just did didn’t ruin YN completely. She feels her chest heaving, and she’s suddenly hyper aware of the necklace against her skin, as if it caught fire with his touch, and she feels the bunny fall hidden between her bra, warm from his hands. She’s completely ruined. And she thinks her panties are too.

…

“Daddy! Daddy! Snakes!!! I wanna see the snakes!”

Aidi comes running towards them when they pass the reptile area and she probably sees a drawing of a snake on one of the signs, tugging Harry’s hand to gain his attention.

“Bug, yeh know daddy doesn’t like snakes” he whispers, crunching down to her level, and YN grins teasingly because despite his effort of talking in a small voice, his daughter betrays him saying “daddy yeh don’ have t’be afraid, there’s the glass to protect yeh!”

YN chuckles loudly when she hears that, and Aidi looks up at her teacher with the most father-like grin YN had ever seen, “daddy is scared of snakes”.

“Am not!” He blushes, rising up from his crunched position, “YN, don’t laugh. I am not”

YN only laughs louder, throwing her head backwards and placing one hand against her tummy.

Aidi joins her, giggling loudly at her daddy’s pouting lips.

“I can go with you” YN proposes, looking down at Aidi.

After the first tour of the zoo, the two teachers agreed with the parents to split up, to give every kid the opportunity of seeing what they wanted to see most, according to meet up at 1pm for lunch.

Harry had asked YN if she wanted to tag along with them, and Aidi had jumped in her place when she said yes, so that’s how they got here, in front of the reptile area.

“Yes!” She jumps excitedly, still holding her daddy’s hand, “thank you miss YN”

“Yeh don’t have to thank me, love. C’mon!” She stretches a hand for her to take, which Aidi does duteously, and together they walk inside the reptile house.

Once they’re inside, Aidi asks to be picked up to see the snakes better, and YN watches enamored as the little girl waves at the snakes resting inside the vivarium.

It’s nice to see how gentle Aidi is, because in a way, she’s an extension of Harry, and seeing how good he did with her, warms YN’s insides until she feels her limbs turn to jelly.

And to think he raised her alone! He did such a good job, she doesn’t know how to tell him again without sounding weird. It’s a strange feeling, watching the child of someone you once were in love with. Because at this point there’s no use in denying it. She was in love with Harry, the biggest crush she’d ever had for someone, never developed and never told, which is probably the most pathetic thing YN can think about.

“Were you friends with my daddy?” Aidi asks all of a sudden, still perched against her hip.

“Yes, I still am his friend”

The little kid nods and points to one of the snakes that’s resting on a tree branch, “what’s his name?”

YN couldn’t possibly know his name, so she hums and pouts her lips jokingly, “I don’t think he has a name, bug.”

Aidi frowns at her words and YN is quick to say: “why don’t we name him?”

The toddler opens her mouth in a toothless grin and she sways her little legs in YN’s hold, excitedly.

“I wanna call him Mr Snuggles”

YN tries to suppress her laugh because she doesn’t understand how a snake could be associated with snuggles, of all things, but she knows this is a very serious matter in the perception of a three year old, so she assumes a serious face and gives her a firm nod of the head, “that’s a perfect name for him”

Aidi smiles brightly at that, happy to have the approval of her — favorite, Harry had confessed — teacher.

…

Back on the bus, YN is checking that every kid is strapped in as she walks through the bus’s hallway, smiling at every kid that she sees (most of them sleeping) and when she reaches Harry’s familiar face illuminated by the small light shining on his seat she smiles brightly at him.

When she notices the empty seat next to him she frowns and she goes to ask him where Aidi is, but he’s quick to say: “wanted t’sit in the back, like a big girl, she said”

YN giggles at that and stretches her neck to look at the back of the bus, where she sees a group of toddlers sitting in the last row, she spots a sleeping Aidi between them, with her face propped against the big window.

When the bus takes a big pothole, she has to hold on tight to the seat next to him to prevent her from falling, and when Harry notices that, he tugs on her hoodie with his hand to gesture her to sit next to him.

It’s almost six now, the sun has set and the road is dark, as is the bus, the led blue light of the hallway and every now and then the small one on top of the seats of still awake parents, the only sources of illumination.

She plops down in the seat next to him, crossing her legs in front of her.

He shifts in his seat so that he’s propped with his back against the window and his face is facing her. She does the same, watching him carefully.

He stretches one leg towards her on the ground and he bends the other at the knee against the back of the seat. This way, the skin of his knee brushes against her thigh, covered in a pair of leggings, but she might as well be naked with the way he’s looking at her, like he’s ready to devour her, and she tries to think if he’s ever watched her in that way. She doesn’t know, because she never really paid attention, assuming right away he’d never even spare a glance in her direction.

Was she wrong…

YN closes her eyes and she abandons her head against the headrest, shifting a little on her bum so she could get more comfortable, the long day catching up to her.

After a while, she feels Harry shift in his seat again, but she is too tired to open her eyes and check what he’s doing.

She feels the light finger tip of his fingers brush against her temple, brushing the hair away from her face, then he caresses the skin of her cheek softly, the contrast of his cold rings against her warm skin a solace for her skin, and he is so delicate in his movements YN feels like a rare flower he’s scared of plucking.

When he reaches her lips, she doesn’t know if she’s dreaming, and she feels his thumb brush against her mouth, the skin of his thumb tender and warm. She feels a hand sneak against the side of her neck, cradling her jaw and pushing her delicately against him.

She feels herself fall against his chest, between his legs, and she snuggles unconsciously against the soft fabric of his sweatshirt, her fingers reaching up to grab a hold of the fabric.

Her breathing regulates with every stroke of his gentle hand against her hair, and she feels herself fall, deeper and deeper in that rabbit hole she doesn’t see the end of.

…

YN stares at the screen of her phone, double checking the address Harry had written before ringing the door bell.

It’s a warm Sunday of November, and YN is standing outside Harry’s house, a plastic pink bag tucked between her fingers as she chews nervously on her bottom lip.

When Harry had told her, at the beginning of the week, that Aidi’s birthday was coming up and she’d begged him to invite her to the small gathering Harry was throwing her, YN certainly didn’t have it in her to decline.

It warmed her heart that Aidi liked her so much that she wanted her at her birthday party. These things are weird, and kids always watch on their teachers with an eye on, wary of the power dynamic. But perhaps that wasn’t Aidi’s case.

YN can already hear the loud screeching voices of small kids playing, and when Harry opens the door, she greets him with a brief hug, which he reciprocates kindly.

Weeks have passed from the zoo trip, and they didn’t speak about what happened on the bus, because truly, what was there to even speak about?

Harry is kind, and gentle, and probably just didn’t want her neck to hurt, his fatherly instincts kicking in providently. It’s as simple as that.

“Hi” he says, “come in”.

YN walks inside, light on her feet as she follows him. He’s wearing a big knitted brown sweater, the neckline and the hem of the sleeves detailed in green, paired with a pair of green tailored pants that hug his thighs just right, and YN can see the muscles of his legs stretch as he walks.

“Aidi’s present” she holds the pink plastic bag between them, and Harry throws her a furrowed look, “yeh didn’t hav’to”

YN swats playfully at his arm and rolls her eyes, “‘f course I had to!”

He grins at her and then eyes her carefully, gesturing towards her coat when he sees she’s about to take it off “yeh can put that in m’room upstairs. Don’ wan’ t’get it mixed up with t’others. ’s t’second door on the left”

YN nods her head and gulps under his gaze, removing her coat and holding it tight against her chest.

Maybe wearing the most revealing dress she owns wasn’t a good idea. She’s still his child’s teacher, for god’s sake!

Well, she can’t really go back now, can she?

The dress isn’t even that revealing, it’s just flattering, with a square neckline that shows a little bit of her chest, long sleeves and that ends just about mid thigh. Opposed to the oversized jeans and big sweaters she wears everyday at school, it’s a big change.

She turns around and walks towards the stairs, following his instructions.

She opens the door of his room and walks in, leaving her coat on his bed, and she tries not to think too much about how she’s leaving her coat on his bed. The room is nice, it reminds her of Harry, colorful and lively. The sheets are white but the bed is a nice cream color, above the headrest there are three abstract paintings that remind her of Jackson Pollock’s. She walks closer to his bed side and she smiles when she sees a framed picture of him and Aidi. He’s smiling brightly as he holds her against his hip, both dressed head to toe in Disney merch, Aidi showing off the most precious little Mickey Mouse ears on top of her head, Harry sporting a matching pair, and she feels herself fluster at the sight.

They are both so precious, she can’t believe Aidi’s mum didn’t want to be a part of their life. Maybe she feels a little jealous, because in her mind, she truly did have it all and threw it away; she’s aware it’s unfair, thinking about others this way, and she’d never even met this lady! What if she was nice?

She doesn’t know, she just knows it wasn’t fair, leaving like that, and she wonders if Harry still feels the pain of it or if it’s an entirely healed wound.

She walks out of his bedroom and shuts the door behind her, looking attentively at the pictures on the walls and paintings he decided to have framed. YN believes you can tell a lot by someone’s house, and the chosen decor that comes with it, and she wonders what could be behind the closed doors she passes on her way from Harry’s bedroom to the staircase.

Perhaps he has a room full of books where he spends his Sunday afternoons, or maybe a playroom for his daughter… one must definitely be a spare bathroom, the other…

“Miss YN?” She hears a small voice coming from behind her, and she turns her body quickly in its direction.

Aidi is looking at her with a puzzled expression, soon to be replaced by an excited one when she starts running towards her, hugging her leg tightly.

“Miss YN!” She exclaims, “why are you here? Daddy didn’t tell me”

YN furrows her brows at her and crunches down on the ground, hugging the little toddler.

She chooses not to linger on her words, she’s little, maybe she forgot she had invited her? Maybe Harry simply didn’t tell her? But YN remembers clearly how Harry had told her Aidi had begged him to invite her. Was he… lying? But why would he?

“I’m here because a little birdie told me it’s a special someone’s birthday?”

“It’s mine! It’s mine!” She giggles, jumping up and down in her place.

YN picks her up and tickles her belly playfully, “mmmh, is it?”

“Yes!” She giggles again, “stop, stop, tickles” the hallway rumbles with the sound of their laughters, and YN wonders if this is what it would be like to have a family of her own… Hallways always filled with laughter and colorful bedrooms and rooms full of books…

“Do yeh want to see my room?” She grins, and YN nods at her.

She looks adorable in her checkered baby blue dress, her hair are tied out of her face with a clipped white bow, and YN feels her chest warm at the thought of Harry doing her hair, because she definitely knows it’s him now.

YN follows the toddler to her room, the door in front of Harry’s, and she opens her mouth in exasperated surprise once she sees it.

The walls are painted a pale pink, small elephants stickers plastered across the walls, and she can see on the ceiling the faint stickers of luminescent glow in the dark lights shaped as stars, a big crescent moon just above her bed.

She imagines what her room must look like at night, when it’s time to go to bed and Harry perhaps reads her a bed time story before tucking her in.

“Woah” she exasperates, “it’s beautiful!”

“I know” she giggles childishly, running to pick up a few of her dolls from the ground and putting them on the bed, “daddy did it”.

“You have a great daddy” YN lets out, and she blushes at her own words. It’s not like Aidi understands to an extent what she really had meant, but still, letting out those feelings makes her feel antsy.

“He is the best” she nods seriously, picking up from the bed another doll.

“Miss YN, do you want to play dollies with me?” She asks politely, showing her the two chosen dolls.

“I think we should go downstairs, bug! It’s your party!”

“Uh! You’re right” she agrees firmly, and YN tries to suppress her laugh at her serious pout.

“We’ll play later, yeah?”

Aidi nods once again and takes YN’s outstretched hand in both hers, and they both walk slowly out of the room.

“You’ll stay for dinner?” She asks, hopeful.

“‘f course I am! ’s your birthday!” To which Aidi giggles loudly.

Laughter filling the hallways once again.

…

“Sorry I left you alone all day, hope yeh weren’t too bored”

It’s a little later in the day now, and YN is sipping on her drink absentmindedly while observing the beauty of Harry’s garden. The grass is well cut, English style, into a kind of hallway that serves as a driveway, and many flowers are planted adorning it.

She’s standing on the patio, where everyone had sang ‘happy birthday’ to Aidi not more than an hour ago.

Some of the guests have already left, leaving only a couple of Aidi’s close girl friends and their respective parents. The sun is still shining, but it has lost its warmth, and the air is turning colder with every minute that passes.

The day had gone by quickly, Harry had rented an inflatable castle that was set up in the small garden that surrounded the house, where the kids had played until exhaustion.

Then, after a brief lunch (cooked diligently by Anne — Harry’s mother, YN had found out), Aidi had opened her presents, sitting on the couch and wearing the most precious tiara YN had ever seen — she made sure to tell her that.

Harry had been kind of busy all day, mostly checking that the kids didn’t hurt themselves while playing in the garden, making sure everyone was well feed and that no one’d leave with an empty belly.

After Aidi had opened her presents, he took care of tidying up the living room, tossing the pieces of wrapping paper she had discarded all over when opening her presents.

YN had stayed behind, talking every now and then with a couple of parents from the school that would come up to greet her, and she didn’t miss how some of them had eyed her suspiciously, and she wonders whether they thought something was going on between Harry and her.

She also didn’t miss how some of the mums would act around Harry, flirting blatantly with him, and she honestly can’t blame them. Harry is attractive, and above everything else he’s polite, kind and intelligent. Not to mention how much he adores his daughter.

it’s endearing how he takes his time to hear every single little thing she says, and he appears to engage in these conversations as well! He’s not only pretending to listen, he truly is interested in the way she sees the world and in the way she tells about it, and to YN, that is one of the most valuable traits of his character.

He’s standing in front of her now, towering above her and eyeing her carefully.

She shakes her head at his previous remark and brings a hand to shield her eyes from the sun, “I had a lot of fun”, she says, squinting one of her eyes.

He moves a little on the right to cover the sun and she lowers her hand thankfully, “i loved the bouncy castle, always wanted one” she chuckles.

“Yeah?” He says, smirking, his dimples appearing proudly on his cheeks, “maybe I’ll rent one for your birthday… if yeh behave, that is”

YN feels herself fluster, and she gulps, his words replaying vividly in her mind.

If you behave.

He must definitely know the effect he has on her, because his eyes gleam, bright, and he looks down at her grinning slyly.

She scoffs when she recovers control of her own mind, “I’m too old for that!”

“I’d rent one for grown ups, silly” he remarks, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

YN wasn’t even aware they made bouncy castles for grown ups, and now she kind of wants one for her birthday. She won’t let him know, though.

“By the way…” she trails off, because now she’s the one that wants to tease, “Aidi told me she didn’t know I was coming”

“She did?” And he raises his eyebrows in surprise like he was caught in a lie, only for a brief moment, though, because he’s quick to add, “Told her many times lying ’s bad.”

“I feel like you’re the liar” she mocks, swatting at his arm playfully.

“YN” he says seriously, “are yeh sayin’ you believe a four years old over me?”

“That’s exactly what I’m sayin’” she nods.

He pouts his lips jokingly and YN really, really, has to refrain herself from kissing his pout away.

Her gaze lingers a bit too much on his pouted, strawberry lips and she averts her eyes quickly when his tongue peaks out to wet them.

“You’re silly” he chuckles, and he raises one hand to pinch her tummy through the fabric of her dress. The movement makes goosebumps prickle on her skin and YN crosses her arms against her chest to warm up.

“Are you cold?” He asks quickly, and she doesn’t even have time to say no that he’s already scurrying inside, walking through the glass door.

YN follows him with her gaze, and she watches through the glass as he picks up a throw blanket from the couch, his brows furrowed in concentration and his tongue peaking up from between his lips as he bends down to pick the blanket up.

She turns her head quickly when she sees him make his was back to her, and once he reassumes his previous position in front of her, he opens the blanket to show it to her.

He unfolds it between them and then circles her shoulders with the blanket, wrapping it then across her front and tucking the hem under the other side.

“There yeh go” he smiles snugly.

The blanket is soft and warm, and it hugs her body mellowly, and YN is aware it’s weird, but she suddenly feels protected under the shield of that soft fuzzy blanket, and perhaps not only from the cold…

“Thank you” she whispers softly, snuggling more in the blanket.

He looks at her every movement, his eyes are a deep shade of green, and she wonders if he’s ever looked at her like this before or if it’s the first time. She remembers he used to have these same eyes when he was a little bit drunk and the night was slowly coming to an end, or when he used to read one of her poems for class and he would look at the piece of paper as if he wanted to set it on fire with his gaze.

“Daddy!” They both jump at Aidi’s voice, and Harry turns his head quickly in her direction, welcoming her with a bright smile.

YN lets out a breath she wasn’t aware she was holding in and she, too, turns to look at the little girl.

“Is miss YN staying for dinner?” She asks, stretching her arms upwards, demanding to be picked up.

Harry shifts her on one hip and looks towards YN warily, “I don’t know, bug…”

“‘f course I am!” YN is quick to say, raising her hand to tickle at Aidi’s belly lightly, “told you already, haven’t I?”

The little girl smiles happily, snuggling closer to her daddy and YN doesn’t miss the bright smile Harry shows her, which she mirrors instantly.

…

“Do you have anyone you need?” YN coos, referring to the stuffed dollies that Aidi required to be tucked in next to her as well.

“Think so…” she whispers sleepily, crowing her neck to check if she had everyone.

It’s bed time, now, and Aidi had specifically demanded that YN had to be the one to tuck her in, to which YN had agreed without a doubt.

YN is about to get up from the bed when Aidi says “no! Wait! Cinnabun isn’t here”

YN furrows her brows, and throws a pointed look towards Harry, that is still propped against the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest. He has an alerted look on his face, and YN tries to make eye contact with him, but he averts her gaze quickly.

“Have yeh checked under the bed, pet?” He says, walking inside her room.

He stops in front of the bed, where YN is sat, and he places a ring-clad hand on the bed, right next to her thigh, crunching down on his knees to check under the bed.

“There she is! Little bugger! What were yeh doin’ under the bed?” He addresses the stuffed animal directly, “wanted to avoid bed time, huh?”

He pats away a little bit of dust off, and then places the bunny right next to his daughter, that holds it tight against her chest with the crook of her small arm.

YN is watching his every step as he moves, and she’s very well aware that Cinnabun is, in fact, a stuffed, pale pink bunny, dressed as a ballerina, and that resembles very much one of the bunnies that YN had printed on one of her old shirts she used to wear in college and that she eventually lost in the various times she moved.

When are coincidences no longer considered coincidences?

…

When Aidi has peacefully fallen asleep, Harry shuts the door quietly behind them and he makes his way down the stairs, YN trailing behind him, and she stays light on her feet, almost too scared she’d scare him.

Her mind is thinking a thousand thoughts all at once, and she isn’t really sure what to do. Does she address the bunny? Does she keep quiet? Is she going to pretend nothing happened?

She doesn’t really know how to keep going, actually, and she isn’t sure how she’s supposed to engage in a conversation with him, when her own mind isn’t even connected to her mouth.

“Sorry she made you stay for dinner” he says once they reach the end of the stairs.

She wants to ask him if he’s sorry she stayed for dinner, but how can she?

“What? No! I’m happy I stayed” she shrugs, tucking her hands in the pocket of the hoodie he had lent her before dinner.

“Okay” he nods.

Something’s changed, YN can feel it in the way he’s averting her eyes, and she suddenly feels like she should leave.

“Maybe I should go? It’s getting late…”

“No!” He blurts quickly, “no — he repeats calmly — stay a little longer.” And it really sounds like a plea.

And she doesn’t find it in her to go. It’s as simple as that. Sometimes all it takes is four small words.

So, she nods her head, and she gulps when she sees him visibly relax, some of the tension in his shoulders dissipating, and she wonders what the hell is going on.

Is it because of the bunny? She knows it sounds silly, bunnies aren’t special, most especially stuffed bunnies, and she’s aware they’re very popular with kids, but it’s the same bunny. Thesame. And hadn’t he not mentioned remembering it, she wouldn’t have thought any more than what it was; a simple bunny. But nothing was simple when it came to Harry. And nothing was simple when it came to YN.

“Do yeh want some wine? I think I have some red in the cabinet…” he asks, pushing a stray curl out of his forehead with his fingers.

She hums, “yes. Yes, okay”

He nods and makes his way to the kitchen, and YN debates for a moment if she should follow him.

When he turns his head briefly to check where she is, she realizes he wants her to follow, and she does, catching up quickly with him.

…

A couple of drinks later, the tension has evaporated completely, and both Harry and YN are relaxed in each other’s presence, probably like they haven’t been in a long time.

They’re both sitting outside facing each other, on the wooden chairs in the patio, because Harry had claimed he was getting too hot inside. YN had chuckled loudly and told him it was probably the wine, but, still, he dragged her outside, picking up the throw blanket when walking on the way out.

YN has her legs crossed at the ankle and her feet propped on his upper thigh (she had originally put them on the chair, but he had moved them immediately after, claiming it was more comfortable the other way), and Harry the same, so the blanket could cover the both of them equally.

Harry is stroking the skin of her shin as he talks, because he is a really talkative drunk and a touchy feely drunk probably even more so. YN doesn’t know if he realizes what he’s doing, and most especially, what he’s doing to her, because with every stroke of his fingers against her naked skin, goosebumps pebble in its wake.

She takes a sip of her wine, and she bats her eyelashes tiredly, and she doesn’t know if it’s the wine or his velvety voice, but she feels herself almost drift off to sleep. Almost.

If it wasn’t for one thing Harry says that catches her attention and perks her up against the backseat of her chair.

He was reminiscing on their college years, and he was rumbling, in YN’s opinion, and she was too tipsy and too besotted with the way he was caressing her skin to understand fully what he was saying.

Until he mentioned how he always used to ask her for a spare pen, and YN felt her breath catch in her throat, because there’s no way he remembers that.

“Yeh had so many! One time you gave me a pink one… I think you hand’t realized, and I really didn’t have it in me heart to tell yah, so I had like… five pages of pink notes!” He snorts, “they were so pretty, though” he says dreamily.

“You could have told me!” She chimes in, pinching the skin of his thigh covered under the blanket.

“Pff” he scoffs, “‘f course I couldn’t… I had like, the biggest crush on you. Like… the biggest” he stresses.

YN’s eyes widens when she hears him, and she lowers her glass on the ground, suddenly feeling very sober.

“I was so in love wit’you! M’friends always used t’make fun o’me fo’it.” He continues, and he shakes his head and laughs a soft laugh through his nose, his green eyes twinkling like a lighthouse in the dark night, as if behind his gaze the memory of his college years is running fast as a joke YN didn’t hear quite well enough to participate in.

“What?” YN says, and she tries to hide the surprise in her voice. Her heart is beating fast in her chest and his words are replaying in her head. Isn’t he a little too old to play games?

“Harry… what are you even… what are you talking about?”

“Don’t tell me yeh didn’t know?” He raises his brows in surprise, and he balances his empty glass on the armrest of his chair, the clear wine stained glass shining in the night. “You were t’prettiest girl I’ve ever seen, o’course I liked yeh” he chuckles.

She feels her heart skip a beat as her eyes are fixated on an undefined point in front of her; prettiest girl he’s ever seen? That couldn’t possibly be true.

Yn remembers how she was in college: shy, never spoke her mind, every once in a while — when people paid attention — she would crack a joke, that would come out strangled and rushed, and she remembers vividly how often her friends wouldn’t get the joke, and she’d have to explain it, therefore the joke losing all its funniness, and she would try her hardest not to avert her gaze from their eyes, and she remembers clearly in her mind how it felt, what was it like having all those eyes looking at her, especially a pair of green ones that used to always make her nervous — they still do, if she’s honest.

Once again, she tries to think about the past, and if there ever was a time when Harry had looked at her like more of the awkward girl that sat next to him in class, but she can’t find any. And at this point, after months of knowing — reknowing — Harry, shouldn’t she be able to tell when he’s telling the truth? Because he is, he looks like he is. And she wishes he is. But the thought carries with it a bittersweet taste, the awareness of being too late lingering on her head like Damocle’s sword.

“No… no, you were with Natalia, I remember you dating Natalia” YN says nodding her head, trying to somehow convince herself Harry is still going on with this joke she isn’t aware of.

She’s positive she would’ve noticed if Harry liked her.

But… would she, though?

Because she remembers all those nights she spent looking at him, and averting her gaze when he’d catch her, and she vaguely remembers how sometimes she’d feel his lips linger a second too long on her cheek when he’d greet her goodbye.

“No! — he says, furrowing his brows, — that was after. After I realized I had no chances with you. Natalia was kind o’… there. Yeh obviously didn’t like m’back… everyone knew. Y’were always in y’own world… I never really knew how to talk to you…” he says, and YN feels like she might throw up.

She feels hot and cold at the same time, and she wants to rip off the blanket from her legs, but Harry still hasn’t stopped touching her, and she feels lightheaded.

She feels exposed, and she definitely feels stupid, and images of a very college-y Harry run fast before her eyes, as if her brain is presenting the proofs of what he’s saying.

She sees him laugh at her joke (squinted eyes and dimples on display too!) when she thought no one had heard her, she sees him looking directly at her that one time he was playing a Beatles song on the guitar, she sees him brush his knee against her thigh willingly, and asking for her pens, and complimenting her on her writing and on her stories, and she sees him looking with piercing eyes at her lips that one time she had to read her short story out loud.

She sees him now, looking at her with half lidded eyes, his hair clipped back with one of Aidi’s pink, flower shaped clips, and she feels sick. She feels sick and at the same time she wants to kiss him. She wants to lean in and brush her lips on his, taste the wine on his tongue, explore his mouth…

“Don’t worry, — he says after a while, when he realizes YN hasn’t said anything, waving a hand in front of them — I got over it after a while.”

“No… I… I didn’t know. You never — you never said anything, I…” at this point, she’s rumbling, but she really doesn’t know what to say. It’s sad, really, how much time she lost thinking no one liked her. Harry liked her. He liked her! Even if she was shy! Even if she was awkward! She can’t seem to wrap her head around it, somehow the thought of him liking her back, overwhelmed her. How sad could she really be?

“Oh! Don’t go all embarrassed on me now!” He giggles, but they both are aware that there’s no humor in his laugh, “It’s in the past now… told yeh I got over it.” He repeats.

“Yeah, yeah — she laughs nervously, shifting uncomfortably on the chair — I just wish I knew.”

“Yeah… me too. Me too.” He nods, biting his bottom lip to prevent himself from going further. He had already ruined the night enough. He didn’t have to confess how he hadn’t gotten over her, not even a bit.

…

Harry looks at his reflection in the mirror and he sighs. He shouldn’t go. He knows he shouldn’t go. He knew it as soon as he read YN’s text, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want to. After what he told YN, drunk on wine and untold words, he should’ve stayed low. And believe me, he wanted to. He even debated whether he should enroll Aidi in another kindergarten. It was that serious. But then… he saw YN. He saw her in school, wearing a big long sleeve t-shirt with the pink outline of a bunny on it, that almost swallowed her, and she looked fine, she smiled brightly at them once they came in, and he thought maybe she didn’t remember. Maybe she was so drunk she forgot how he told her about how much he loved her back in a time where everything seemed so simple yet it never truly was. That’s why, when he’d gotten the text, he only debated for a brief moment before answering.

“I look hot” he nods, trying to convince himself. He’s always been confident in himself, but… there’s something about getting rejected by the very first girl you liked seriously and having to see her after you professed your love for her.

“What was that, honey?” His mum, Anne, calls out from the bedroom, and Harry cusses under his breath. Great.

“Nothing, mum” he stresses, passing a hand through his hair to adjust them.

“You ready?” Anne asks once he enters the bedroom, and she walks up to him to tug at his tie a bit, straightening it.

“Yes” he nods, thanking her for the tie. “Aidi is okay?” He asks, picking up his phone from the nightstand and removing it from the charging cable.

“Yes, already tucked in bed” Anne smiles, “so… this thing you’re going to…” she trails off, leaving the phrase unfinished.

“It’s for charity, mum. Aidi’s school is hosting it. I think all parents are going…”

“And are you going with someone… someone special, perhaps?” She teases, walking to his closet and putting away the fresh clothes she had just washed for him.

“Mum! No!” He exclaims, whining, “you know I have no time for a relationship.”

“I know, my love, but… it’s been four years now. Don’t you think it’s time to get back out there?”

“I don’t need to, mum. Really. Things are fine as they are” he shrugs. “I have to go now, ’s gettin’ late”

“Okay, just lookin’ out for yeh baby” she says softly, raising one hand to squeeze his shoulder reassuringly.

“I know, mum. I’m gonna say bye to Aidi, now, yeah?”

“You do that” she nods, following her son out of the room, “oh and Harry?”

“Yes?” He questions, his brows furrowed as he turns his head to her.

“You look handsome” she giggles before disappearing down the stairs. Harry lets out a groan at his mum’s teasing and makes his way to his daughter’s room.

…

YN takes a sip of her champagne as she scans the room attentively. Many parents have come up to her to greet her hello, everyone but the one she was particularly looking for. It’s well past 10 now, and Harry still hasn’t show up. YN doesn’t even know if he’s coming, really. When she had sent the invitation, she didn’t know what to expect. After that night at his house, YN tried to play it cool, but his words resonated in her head every time she wasn’t busying herself with something.

What was the point behind what he said? What did it mean? After all these years, did it have to mean something? Or was it something he said to be… fun? To reminisce on past times?

She possibly couldn’t know, and she wouldn’t dare ask him, so she just pretended nothing happened between them, greeting him and Aidi with the biggest and brightest smile she could muster.

When she sees him walk in, she feels her breath catch in her throat. He looks… he looks handsome. Dashing. She truly wouldn’t know how better to describe him. His hair are brushed back from his forehead, but a single strand curl is falling in front of his eyes, and he’s wearing a black suit with a white shirt underneath it, a black tie around his neck. She gulps when they lock eyes, all the way across the crowd of people, and he smiles at her, dimples on display, his eyes bright and green.

He’s walking towards her, making his way through the room like he owns it, and once he’s in front of her, he lowers to greet her with a kiss on the cheek.

“Hi” he says against her ear, “you look… beautiful” he tilts his head backward just enough to take her in, and she truly does look beautiful. She’s wearing a long, black velvet, off the shoulders, long sleeve dress, that hugs her in all the right places and curves.

“Thank you” she blushes, raising one hand to hold against his bicep, “you do too”.

He grins at her and she flushes, looking around the room to avoid his piercing gaze.

“So, what’s this thing fo’ anyway?” He asks.

“Oh… it’s just money the school raises for parents that can’t afford to pay the tuition, it’s a noble cause, really”

“It is indeed, you didn’t mention that in your text” he questions, looking at her with his brows furrowed.

“I knew you’d come anyway.” She shrugs, “you’ve always liked helping others”

His eyebrows shoot up in surprise and he clears his throat, “That’s true, I do.”

She throws him a gleeful smile which he reciprocates immediately, and for a moment, they stay like that, looking in each other’s eyes, and YN doesn’t miss the gleam in his when he locks them with hers.

Harry’s thankful. He thought that after what he’d said, there would be tension between them, and that he’d kind of ruined their new found relationship, and he’s thankful now that he’s learned he hadn’t. It’s true, what his mum said, he’s been alone for four years, never really being alone but always feeling lonely, and it’s nice having someone to talk to, every once in a while.

“Do yeh know where I can get a drink?”

…

It’s a little later in the night now, and YN is feeling tipsy but definitely not drunk. Harry hasn’t left her side once, and they chatted like no time had passed between them, and it’s delightful. Truly. She hasn’t felt like this in a long time.

“I think I need to get some air” she chuckles, “the champagne’s gettin’ to my head”

“Let’s go outside, yeah?” He takes her hand in his and guides her through the room.

As they’re making their way out of the school, YN hears someone call her name from the hallway. She raises her head quickly, a puzzled look on her face that fades as soon as she recognizes the speaker, “oh my god, hi! How are you?” She exclaims, leaning over to greet Michail with a kiss on the cheek.

“I’m fine! I was wondering where you were… kind of was looking for ya actually” he chuckles, raising one hand to scratch the skin behind his neck.

“Oh…” she flushes, giggling embarrassedly. She hears Harry beside her clear his throat, and then two pair of eyes are on her, looking at her curiously.

“Michail, this is Harry. Harry… this is Michail” she introduces them, and Harry stretches one hand between them, that Michail shakes tightly.

“Nice to meet you, are you a teacher too?” He asks Harry.

“What? No… I’m here as a guest” he chuckles, “YN’s guest” he points out.

YN feels herself blush at his words, and she throws Michail a brief smile, “oh, okay” he nods, “so I guess I’m not seeing you later?”

“Yeah, you guessed right” Harry smiles, but YN can hear the tension in his voice.

What is happening? She feels her head spinning and she really needs to sit down. Or get some air. Either one would be fine.

“Okay, it was nice seeing you, YN” Michail says, “you too, Harry” and he leans in to place a kiss against her cheek, waving bye to Harry and walking back in the other direction.

YN watches his back as he walks away, and once he disappears behind the big doors of the gym, she turns her head to look at Harry. But he isn’t standing at her side anymore, he’s walked a bit ahead, a hand tugging at his hair.

“Hey, you okay?” She whispers as she approaches him, and he’s startled by the sound of her voice.

“Yeah, yeah” he nods, reassuring her.

“Okay” she whispers once again, squeezing his shoulder lightly.

“Maybe I need to sit down” he ponders, nodding his head and locking his eyes into hers. His are panicked, searching all across her face, and he finds comfort in her soft gaze, but he doesn’t miss the confused look across her features.

“Wait, let’s go in here, yeah?” She gestures towards one of the classrooms she knows is vacant at this time in the night. After hurrying Harry inside and checking that no one had seen them go in, she closes the door behind them.

Harry sits on the big desk and YN stands in front of him, searching for his gaze with her eyes.

“Harry… are you okay? What happened?” She tries again, stretching her arm to squeeze his bicep to gain his attention.

“Is that… who was that?”

“Who? Michail? He’s… one of the kids’ father” she says, “we used to see each other… a while back” she admits.

“See?” He chimes, his brows raising in question.

“We hooked up one time” she shrugs, crossing her arms on her chest to shield herself from the sudden cold that took upon her body.

“And were you plannin’ on seeing him tonight, too? Because you know, when you sent me that text, I thought I was coming as your guest, YN!” He snaps.

“You are my guest?” She says, but it comes out more like a question, and she doesn’t know why. Confusion is running through her mind and she feels silly standing in front of him like this.

He scoffs at her words, “yeah, I am. Like every one else is, right? Because you didn’t invite me” “Harry, where are yeh gettin’ at? It’s a charity gala thrown by the school! Of course every one was invited” she clarifies, her brows pinched at the front.

He shakes his head, “so I guess I’ve misread the signs”

“What signs?” She questions, and when he doesn’t answer, she repeats herself: “what signs, Harry?”

“I thought you invited me! But I guess you didn’t, because yeh don’t like me like that and yeh never did. It’s fine. I get it. I just thought… when the invite came… fuck… I don’t know what I thought” he rumbles, and YN feels her head pounding. His words don’t seem real, and she feels as if she’s experiencing this conversation from outside of her body.

“I don’t understand” she simply says, because it’s true, she doesn’t, and despite feeling silly, she wants him to clarify. She wants him to be honest and tell it to her face.

“I don’t know how to show it any more than I already am” he shrugs, his eyes avoiding her gaze, looking anywhere but her face. “I really don’t, YN. You have to help me here because I don’t…” he doesn’t finish his phrase on time that YN is already on him, cradling his jaw with one hand and the nape of his neck with the other, and she presses her lips against him, hard, in a kiss that knocks the air out of his lungs.

He gasps against her mouth and she sighs into his, her fingers curling through his hair and tugging a bit. He places one hand on her hip and tugs her closer to him, parting his legs a bit to make room for her.

As he indents his fingers on her skin, the realization of what’s happening finally hits her, and she parts from his lips with her chest heaving between them. Harry follows her lips with his own, and he pecks her mouth briefly once again.

His mouth is greedy, and he kisses her like she could float away any moment, and she relishes in the feeling, and it makes her feel special, like she’s never felt in her whole life. She tugs on his hair and he sneaks his tongue inside her mouth, exploring every inch of it.

He caresses his tongue against hers, and it’s all teeth clashing against each other, and he’s sucking greedily on her bottom lip, drinking her in. He parts from her lips and makes his way down her neck, kissing against her skin avidly. He bites the tender juncture where her neck meets her shoulder and then licks against the bite, soothing the skin. He blows against the mark and then keeps going down, the low neck of her dress allowing him access.

“Fuck” he breathes against her skin, “I waited years for this”.

A whine comes out choked from his throat and she sighs heavily. He brushes his fingers against her arms, tugging down the sleeves of her dress with him.

“Are you drunk? How much did you have to drink?” He asks mindfully, parting from her skin and looking agonizingly into her eyes.

“I’m not that drunk” she states, her chest heaving with every breath she takes, “I feel okay. Do you?”

He leans down to leave a kiss between her eyes and she closes them, not missing the affection behind his gesture.

“Yes” he whispers, and YN can feel his breath against her mouth. She rises her head and their mouths meet in a shy peck.

He then leans down to kiss her shoulder, and then tugs her dress down, exposing the skin of her breasts.

She instinctively brings her hands to cover herself, her palms shielding her pebbled nipples, and “sorry, if it’s not… if I’m not…” she shakes her head, feeling pathetic in her shyness.

With gentle hands he grabs both of her wrists and tugs them down, then he switches hands so he could hold them with just one hand, and he brings the other one to her side boob, caressing the skin with his thumb.

She shivers under his touch, goosebumps pebbling against her skin, and she watches his every move, as his fingertips continue their path down her body, caressing her side and resting at her waist.

He splatters a hand against her stomach, stroking the skin softly, “Look at me” he says, and his tone is soft but has a dominancy to it, and YN finds herself obedient to him, and she rises her glance to meet his, albeit shyly.

“It’s me” he says, “it’s me” he repeats. As if to say, I’m an old friend, and nothing has changed.

Does he know she’d dreamt of this feeling in the comfort of her bedroom many times?

“I know” she whispers, “i’m just…”

“You’re perfect.” He chimes in, “ the most beautiful girl i’ve ever seen”. And he’s aware he shouldn’t be like this. He’s aware he could be making a fool out of himself, because even if she has consented to this, this doesn’t necessarily mean anything. It doesn’t mean she feels it too. But he has to tell her, now that he has a chance. Now that his behavior and sappy compliments could be misjudged as coming from horniness. He can tell her now. Just this once, she can have everything.

She smiles shyly at his compliment and she nods her head briefly, “okay?” He repeats, “okay” she reassures.

And they’re back to square one, but this time, when Harry leans in to take her right nipple in his mouth, she doesn’t stop him. She frees her wrists from his hold and brings a hand to the back of his head, pushing herself into his mouth.

When his teeth graze the sensitive skin of her hardened nipple, she lets out a whimper, and Harry, avid and eager to hear the sound again, bites gently on it.

“You’re so sensitive” he breaths out, as he continues sucking on her nipple.

He brings the hand that rested against her stomach to take her other breast, and he pinches the other nipple between his thumb and index finger.

He parts from her nipple, breathing heavily, and YN lets out a loud sigh at the sight of his lips shiny with his spit and swollen from the kissing. He’s gorgeous.

He brushes his thumb against her nipple, and “more” she pleads, begging him.

He chuckles breathlessly, “can you take your clothes off for daddy?” He asks, and YN feels herself almost faint on the spot. Of course he’d have a daddy kink.

She gulps and with trembling hands she reaches behind her back to unzip her dress.

She halters her movement once she remembers a tiny detail they both didnt notice, “the door” she stresses, “we didn’t lock the door”

He throws a glance towards the door, and stands from the big desk, walking towards it.

“The door doesn’t lock” he says after checking.

“Fuck” she breaths out.

He turns around, a sly smirk adoring his features, and he makes his way back to her.

“That just means I’ll have to be quick” he grins.

He places a hand on her waist and gives her a reassuring squeeze, “take the dress off”.

And YN reaches behind her back and tugs the zip down. She’d never had someone refer to themselves as her daddy before, and she feels so hot and wet she’s sure her panties are completely ruined. She doesn’t miss how he’s still completely dressed, and she pouts her lips at him, “you too”

“Shh” he shushes her, “daddy makes the rules”.

She bites hard on her bottom lip and with her fingers she pushes the loosened dress down her body, to pool at her feet.

She’s just in her heels now, and she looks down at her feet, but before she can reach down to untie them, he stops her, “leave those on”.

She nods cautiously and when she sees him take a step towards her, she takes one back involuntarily. He’s looking at her as if he wanted to devour her, and she feels small before his eyes. And she likes that. Because this time, even if he’s in control, he’s completely dependent on her. And there’s a power in that too.

Her butt meets the cold surface of the desk, and she jumps surprised at first, then she sits against it. Once he reaches her, he brings one hand on her outer thigh, caressing the skin there.

“S’soft” he murmurs, looking avidly into her eyes with his green ones.

“Scoot up” he orders, patting her thigh, and she obeys, sitting her bum on the desk.

With one hand against her chest he pushes her down, so she can lean against the surface, and she shivers once her back meets with the cold desk.

“Aw” he coos, “are you cold baby?”

She hums, her hands subconsciously come up to shield her tummy from the cold, but he’s quick to grab them, “don’t worry, baby, I’ll keep yeh warm”

She gulps and closes her eyes once she feels him shift on his feet, crouching down to be at eye level with where she needs him most.

He brings his hands on her knees and parts them, but YN is quick to stop him with her anxious thoughts: “Harry” she breaths out “we don’t have time, the door doesn’t lock. There’s no time”

“Shh, baby, shh now.” He whispers, parting her knees once again, and she feels him speak against the skin of her inner thigh as he slowly, agonizingly, makes his way towards her clothed pussy.

“Don’t call me Harry, yeh know better” he says, and with his palm he swats down on her cunt, making her let out a surprised moan, the much needed contact on her clit making the blood rush to her brain.

“Let daddy make you feel good, huh? The quicker yeh are, the less chance we get caught” he smiles mischievously. She hums and closes her eyes forcefully.

“Can’t believe yeh made me wait years to taste yah, such a bad girl” he says, and YN can feel his breath against her cunt, even though she isn’t sure what he’s doing right now with her eyes closed.

She feels his hands on her knees again and he opens them more to have better access, and then, he lays his tongue flat against her still clothed pussy and takes a big stripe, from her entrance to her clit.

She whimpers at the contact, her hips shifting, following his mouth.

He chuckles against her skin, moving the tip of his tongue once again to her center, “tastes so sweet…”

She wants to ask for more, but she’s sure that if she were to ask him, he wouldn’t oblige, only teasing her further, so she keeps quiet, biting so hard on her bottom lip she can feel blood rush to the surface.

He brings one hand to twist the top of her panties and he tugs the fabric upwards, so he could see the outline of her pussy from behind them.

“So pretty” he says, and YN whines at the sensation of her now too tight panties against her clit.

He brings his middle finger to her pussy and caresses her clit with a light touch that’s not remotely satisfying enough, and then presses down on it.

“Please” she begs, her legs fighting to close, because despite the contact not being enough, it’s still something.

“Please, what?” He chuckles darkly, his middle finger moving in circles on her clit now, but she needs to feel him without the fabric between them.

“More” she simply says.

“Tha’s not enough, pretty girl… you’ve been sooo bad, I think I should leave this pretty pussy as it is…”

“No, Harry, please, please, I need it. Please. I want you to touch me”

“Ah, Ah, Ah” he tsk, “i told yeh not to call me tha’” he’s really enjoying watching her squirm under his touch, and he brings his thumb down to her entrance to push in a bit, her hole sucking the fabric right in.

“I’m sorry, daddy” she whispers, embarrassed, “please”

He smiles victoriously and with two fingers he picks the fabric of her panties and snaps it back against her cunt, “see, that wasn’t so hard, huh?”

She shakes her head and lets out a whimper.

“Do yeh want my mouth or my fingers?” He asks, as he leans down to tug at her underwear.

“Both” she pants.

“Soooo greedy” he teases, but once her panties are out of the way, he doesn’t waste a second before he’s spreading her legs open, and he watches as her lips part, exposing her pussy to him completely.

Her clit is swollen between them, and he thinks maybe he’s teased enough, so he leans down and finally takes it in his mouth, sucking on it avidly.

YN lets out a loud moan when his tongue finally comes in contact with her clit, and she brings one hand down to bury between his hair, pushing him against her.

He moves the tip of his tongue sideways against her clit, and then against the under part of it, where he finds she’s most sensitive.

With his middle finger, he caresses at her entrance, massaging around before he pushes it in, burying it to the knuckle. The fit is tight, and he wonders how much time it has been since she’s slept with someone.

Still sucking on her clit, he starts moving his finger in and out, curling it every once in a while against that spongy part inside her, sure from the sounds that leave her mouth and the wetness that’s coating his finger, that she’s enjoying this just as much as he is.

Once he feels her walls loosening up a bit, he withdraws his finger to draw a second on in, and she gasps at the feeling.

“Shh” he shushes, “relax. I’ll take care of anything, let daddy take care of yeh”

After a couple of pushes, she relaxes, and he starts moving up the speed of his fingers, still sucking on her swollen button. She lets out whimpers and little mewls, and he understands she’s close by the way her walls flutter against his fingers.

He’s both rough and soft in the way he’s taking her, and YN wonders how that could even be possible. She doesn’t stay on the question much longer, though, because she starts to feel the unmistakable pressure of an orgasm blossoming in the pit of her stomach, and she clenches around his fingers.

“I’m gonna cum” she blurts out, “i’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum… oh!” She feels him speed the movement of his fingers inside her, and he starts alternating between sucking on her clit attend staking it with his tongue rapidly.

“Cum, baby, cum for me” he hums against her clit, and she feels the vibrations of his voice right against the bundle of nerves, and that’s what eventually pushes her to the edge.

She arches her back as her legs fight to close, and Harry guides her through her orgasm as he keeps fingering her, this time bringing his thumb to stroke against her clit because he wants to watch her when she cums.

He feels her walls flutter close as they push his fingers out, and he rolls her clit in circular motions with his finger until she’s back from her high, breathing hard with her chest heaving. He leans down to lap at her juices, “wanna lick yeh clean” he says, and he does, tonguing at her entrance and drowning in her wetness.

He leaves a final kiss to her clit and she whimpers at the sensitivity of it all, her back still against the desk.

“You okay?” He asks after some time, and he notices how her chest is still heaving with big breaths.

“Yes, give me a minute and I’ll return the favor” she replies, mechanically, and Harry furrows his brows at her statement.

Of course, he was delighted that she wanted to return the favor… but was that all it was? A favor? He suddenly feels confused and the previous excitement that had run through his veins left place to a kind of disappointment he didn’t know what to make of. He thought he had been pretty obvious with his feelings, and with the way he had shown them, but maybe, nothing had changed since college, and he was still that guy that got rejected many times by the girl he thought was the prettiest and nicest.

“It’s okay” he shrugs, his voice suddenly low and stern, “i’m okay” he continues.

YN rises her back from the desk and looks at him pointedly, and once she takes in his serious features, she feels her heart jump to her stomach.

Oh. He doesn’t want her to. That’s what it is.

She suddenly thinks about how stupid she had been to kiss him. Of course she doesn’t regret it, because she could never regret what it led to, but being rejected like this? Fuck, she certainly wasn’t expecting it.

Wasn’t he turned on? She swore she could have felt his hard cock brush against her a couple of times, but maybe after he had eaten her out, it went down?

That’s one thing that had never happened to her, despite her many insecurities, and she feels her ego suddenly bruised.

She nods and gets up from her position, her feet touching the ground. She watches as he lowers to her feet and picks up her dress, handing it to her.

She suddenly feels too exposed, which is weird, after what happened, and the air had turned cold and uncomfortable, and she can’t wait to leave the classroom and go home, tucked away in the comfort of her bedroom where she figures she’ll spend the entire weekend, given this soul crushing experience she just had.

She takes the dress from his hold and notices how he turns his back to her, giving her privacy to redress, which is nice, of course, but totally necessary, and it’s making her really paranoid, because is he so grossed out by her body he doesn’t want to take another look at it?

She slips in the dress, and tries to zip it herself, but when she realizes she can’t zip it all the way, she clears her throat to gain his attention.

“Can you?” She gestures towards the back with her thumb, and he gives her a swift nod before circling her and standing behind her.

He brushes the hair from her back and drapes it over her one shoulder, his fingertips brush against her skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake. She hears the sound of the zip being pulled up and he clears his throat, “all done” he says, and she doesn’t miss how it’s the only thing he’s said in a while.

“Thank you” she smiles, and he gives her a small one back, but his dimples don’t appear, and she’s saddened by that realization.

“We should go” he trails off, “’s gettin’ pretty late”

YN doesn’t have a watch on her but she figures it couldn’t be later than midnight, but if he wants to go, she certainly can’t stop him, albeit a little disappointed. This isn’t how she was hoping the night would end.

Harry walks to the door and opens it, letting her out first, and they walk in silence to the entrance of the school.

“Do you have your car?” He asks, and when she nods, he says: “Can you drive? Want me to call yeh a cab?”

“No, I’m fine. I told you I’m not that drunk” she shrugs, and she really can’t help but think how she wishes she was drunk instead. None of this would’ve happened, and she would be able to look him in the eye without feeling the embarrassment of his rejection.

“Goodnight, then” he says, giving her a curt wave of the hand before heading off toward the parking lot.

“Goodnight” she says back, but he’s already left.

…

The weekend flies by and once Monday arrives, YN is dreading the school day. She almost debates calling in sick, but she knows it would only make the situation worse, because sooner or later she’d have to face a curly headed lad she wasn’t particularly keen on seeing, the embarrassment from that Friday night still vivid in her memory. She pondered long on that night, sipping wine directly from the bottle (for dramatic purposes of course), and she wondered what could she had done wrong to make him react that way. Men, in general, were always kind of difficult to understand, to her, so she figures he probably just wasn’t that aroused anymore. Which is fine, she has to tell herself that at least a million times, because the rejection is so painful and overall embarrassing she doesn’t know what to make of it.

When she walks in the classroom that day, to her surprise Aidi is already sitting at her desk, her pudgy hand wrapped around a brown crayon that she’s moving in circles on the paper, drawing something YN can’t quite make out.

It wasn’t weird, the school offered pre-school from 6 am to the parents that had to work early in the mornings, what was weird was her presence that early, something that in the school year had never occurred before.

She wonders if Harry did it on purpose. Maybe he didn’t want to face her, and she has to take a big breath before erasing that thought off her head. She shouldn’t care what he did. As many years before, he was never hers, and nothing had changed. She feels a little silly of course for thinking that he may have had a special kind of feeling for her, and despite him telling her that he did, she’s definitely convinced he was just playing around that night in his patio.

She makes her way to Aidi, and she crutches down next to her, “good morning, Aidi” she says softly as to not startle her.

“Mornin’ miss YN” she smiles a toothless grin, her hand not stopping her movements.

“You’re here early today, huh?”

“Yes” she nods, eagerly, “daddy’s at work”

“Oh” YN replies

“This early?” Is everything she’d like to ask, but it’s really wrong prodding on this poor child to get informations about her dad, so she erases the question from her mind.

“What are yeh drawin’?” She asks instead, to shift the attention from the feared topic. Despite her means not always being the most pure hearted, YN loves Aidi. She thinks she’s such a precious little thing, and she genuinely loves spending time with her.

“’s a picture of daddy ’n me” she says, picking the drawing up in her hands and showing it to her teacher, “love him s’much”

YN smiles fondly at the picture, a small stick figure holding hands with a bigger one that she figures are respectively Aidi and Harry, the irrefutable mop of curly hair drawn with the brown crayon.

“I know he loves you too” she simply says, “very much!”

“Yeah” Aidi agrees, picking up a blue crayon to color the sky.

…

It’s much later in the day, now, around four pm, and YN is waiting for the remaining kids to be picked up. The school is closing earlier today due to a mandatory rat disinfestation, that the parents were notified of about ten days before, and one by one every kid is picked up and ready to go home, every kid but one, she can’t help but notice. Aidi.

She tries to not pay too much attention to the irony of it all, and she wonders to what means Harry would go to not see her.

Maybe he forgot about the disinfestation? She doesn’t know, and despite fearing the answer to the question, she’s his daughter’s teacher. And she’s an adult. So she takes her phone from the back pocket and with trembling hands she looks through her contacts until she finds his name.

The feeling of calling someone you don’t really want to hear, and being aware of the mutualness of this deep rooted fear, is something that never really leaves. Not even at 26. Not even now that she has a big girl job and an apartment all alone.

The piercing sound of the line ringing has her bringing a thumb to her mouth, biting on her nails nervously. She peeks at Aidi that’s playing with a doll on the floor, and she’s glad she appears to be unaware of the situation. A parent forgetting to pick you up is something that can scar you for life.

“‘llo?” She hears from the other side of the line, and she almost jumps in her place at the sound of his voice.

It took him a while to answer, which is uncommon for him, and she wonders what he was doing. Was he working? But then again, he said he was a writer, so she figures he must be working from home? “Hi, Harry… it’s YN”

“I know who it is. I’m kinda busy, wha’s wrong?” He stresses, and YN feels her heart beat fast.

“Oh, nothing… ’s just, when are you picking Aidi up?”

“I don’t know” he says sternly, “i’m kind of out of town right now, I’ll be back in a couple of hours and take her then”

“You can’t do that, didn’t you get the email? The school’s closing early… rat disinfestation an’all tha’… ’s not like we have rats, don’t worry. ’s just mandatory, and the school is required to do…”

“Fuck!” He interrupts, “it must have slipped my mind this morning. Fuck!” He repeats.

YN hears him shuffle on the other end of the phone, and after a brief moment she hears a quiet explanation of the situation to what she figures is another person, and a hurried ‘goodbye’.

He clears his throat, “are yeh still there?”

“Yes, hi, yes” she rumbles.

“I’m gettin’ in the car now, it’ll take an hour I think. Forty minutes if I hurry. Can yeh… can she… is she allowed to stay? Fuck, — he seems to be talking to himself now, and she hears the loud sound of his car horn beeping — who even gave yeh a license! Fuckin’ hell” he shouts.

“Harry” she trails off, hoping to catch his attention, “’s okay. I can take her until you’re not here. We could go get some ice cream, or yogurt!! Whichever she’s craving more. Wait… Is she allowed to eat ice cream? Because I know this delicious place…”

“YN!” He interrupts her again, “please get to the point”

“Oh… i was just talkin’ about this ice cream place it’s nothing serious”

“‘nough with the ice cream already! Can you really take her? I can pay you, like I would a nanny… yeh know I’m proper loaded so money isn’t a problem.”

“What? I don’t want your money. ‘f course I can take her! She’s such a cutie, we’re gonna have so much fun!!!” She smiles happily.

“Thank you” he sighs, relieved, “i’ll be there in an hour, more or less”

“Okay. Drive safe, you don’t have to worry ‘bout her, she’s safe” she reassures him. Because then again, Harry is Aidi’s father, and she knows how much he worries when it comes to her.

“Okay” he says, and he appears calmer now, “but no ice cream before dinner, YN!”

She scoffs, “you’re no fun”.

Didn’t he say ‘enough with the ice cream’?

…

YN ended up buying the ice cream for both her and Aidi anyway.

(There was something so delicious about eating ice cream during the winter, and one thing abut being a grown up, YN had found out, was being able to eat whatever she wanted and whenever she wanted)

And the biggest cone she’s ever seen, too. Two scoops of chocolate and one of strawberry for Aidi. Screw Harry. That’s what she thought when paying for it, now… she felt a little guilty, of course, but she’d begged Aidi to keep this ice cream run a secret between her and her teacher, using the term on purpose because she knows how much kids respect their teachers.

So… she figured he’d never know.

“’s good, moppet?” She cooed, picking up a couple of tissues from the dispenser in the middle of the table to wipe at her mouth.

Aidi only nodded, too busy with her ice cream cone to pay much attention to YN.

“Oh no!” Aidi pouted once the ice cream started dripping from her cone to her hand and finally to her white coat and white tights, the candid fabric now dirty with dark stains.

“Oh god!” YN exclaims, “wait, let me help”

YN picked up some other tissues and started wiping at Aidi’s hands, who switches the cone from one hand to the other while she cleans her, but maybe letting a four years old eat an ice cream cone wasn’t the best of ideas.

“Daddy’s gonna get mad” Aidi giggles when YN started wiping at the stain on her clothes without much result.

“Probably… with me though” she agrees, nodding her head thoughtfully.

“Sooo mad” she keeps giggling, “he always say: no ice cream before dinner!” She repeats, trying to mock his stern voice but failing, and resulting in the most adorable thing YN had ever seen, and she can’t help but laugh too.

“He’s such a meanie” she smiles, tossing the dirty tissues on the table before her.

“I won’t tell, miss YN” Aidi reassures, and YN smiles once she sees her little pink tongue peeking out from her mouth and trying to lick the chocolate ice cream off the side of her mouth.

“Thank you bug” she says, chuckling, “but I think he’s gonna notice” she frowns, pointing to the state of Aidi’s white tights.

“Mhmh” she agrees, humming.

“When is he back?” She asks after a while, her tummy full of ice cream, a satisfied look on her face.

YN taps the screen of her phone on the table to check the time, “i think he’s almost here”

“How much time?” She asks, swaying her little legs from the edge of the chair.

“Mmmhh,” YN ponders, she’s certain a four years old conception of time isn’t the same as an adult, so she gestures with her hands a small portion. “This much”.

“Oh, ‘kay!” She exclaims happily, “so… almost” she nods proudly.

YN giggles at her antics and reciprocates her nod, “yes”.

After about half an hour, her and Aidi are tucked away in the warmth of her car, the heating full blasting, and YN even removed her coat to let Aidi snuggle in it. She’d fallen asleep almost instantly once her cheek touched the window, and YN decided it would be best to just wait for Harry in her car after the ice cream. She couldn’t possibly bring Aidi to her house, and Harry had previously told her it’d take him only an hour, so she figured that was the best option.

Despite Harry’s good resolutions, he called at around six, almost two hours after she’d called him from the school, but YN was glad he took his time and didn’t speed, as she had told him on the phone, Aidi was safe with her.

She’s driving in silence to his house now, where they accorded to meet, trying to drive the best she can to avoid potholes as to not wake Aidi up.

Harry’s already going to be mad about the ice cream, and he’s already avoiding her all together, so she certainly thought it wasn’t a good idea to leave him with a fussy toddler on top of all that.

Once she reaches his house, she parks near the curb and texts him that she’s outside.

He opens the door right away, almost as if he was expecting them from behind it, looking from the peep hole, and YN notices how, despite him being home for at least a good five minutes, he was still wearing his coat and shoes.

“Hi” YN greets him softly, somehow the tenderness of the situation easing the embarrassment she felt prior.

She’s aware he was beating himself up for forgetting about his daughter.

“Hey” he says, walking to the car and opening the passenger’s side door, “she asleep?”

YN nods her head, “out like a light”

When Harry leans down to pick his daughter up, he cradles her to his chest between his arms, holing her tight and placing a long, harsh kiss on her hair.

YN felt her heart clench at the sight. She understood he felt guilty, and she wanted to tell him it wasn’t his fault, and he most certainly wasn’t the first parent to forget to pick up their kid from school, and had it been four days ago, she probably would’ve told him. But now, after what had happened, how was she supposed to? Harry made it clear he didn’t want anything to do with her, romantically and sexually, so was it her place to reassure him?

“I’m so sorry baby” he whispers against her hair, and YN has to refrain herself to stretch out a hand to comfort him.

“Le’s get yah to bed, huh?”

But when Harry goes to turn around, a small whimper comes from the little kid in his arms, and YN can see a small arm reaching towards her.

“Miss YN?” Aidi asks, voice laced with sleep, and she knuckles tiredly at her eyes when YN smiles at her.

“Daddy, want miss YN to read me a story” Aidi demands, looking up at her father with big, puppy eyes.

“Oh, sweetheart, I’m sure your teacher has more important things t…”

“I’ll read to her, ’s fine” YN chimes in quickly, because honestly, she really didn’t want this day to end. And Aidi particularly requested her, so who was Harry to deny it?

“YN” Harry warns, sternly, but YN has already made her way towards them, tickling at Aidi’s neck softly, “I’ll read how many stories yah want, moppet”

YN tries not to feel too disappointed when she hears Harry’s quiet scoff.

…

“Goodnight, Aidi” YN says softly, placing the hard cover book on her little bedside table on her right.

She’d read Aidi and her stuffed animals three stories, one about a frog that was too scared to go to school, the other about a cute elephant that wanted to be a ballerina, and the last one (Harry said it was her favorite) about a princess bunny that enjoyed drinking tea with her friends.

Aidi had chuckled every time YN did different voices for the animals characters, and after Harry told her she had to read to her stuffed animals too (she had five tucked next to her), she had started asking them every now and then if they were enjoying the story or if she had to reread something they didn’t understand.

Harry had watched the scene fondly, and his heart had grown in his chest, full with love he knew he wasn’t supposed to feel. It was nice, watching how tender YN was with his daughter, and despite the warm feeling in his limbs, he felt bitter. Because why couldn’t he have that. What was it so hard to love about him that not only the mother of his child had left, but also the girl he’d been in love with since college?

After saying goodbye to Aidi, YN throws an awkward smile to him and walks out of the room, waiting just beside the wall. She knew Aidi wanted to be tucked in by her daddy, she had told her many times how he always said I love you, and she thought she’d give them some privacy.

She could still hear them from outside the room, the door still open, and she bit her bottom lip hard once she heard the sound of Harry’s kisses and Aidi’s quiet giggling.

“Daddy loves you so much, bug. Don’t ever forget that” she hears him say in a soft voice.

“How much?” She hears Aidi ask, and she picks up on that question she’d asked her about the time previously at the ice cream shop. This was probably something she did often with Harry, and she really had to refrain herself from peeking inside the room to watch them.

“This much!” He laughs. “How much does Aidi love her daddy?”

“What!!!” She hears him say, probably feigning shock, “that little!”

“Yes, only a little” Aidi playfully giggles, and then Harry makes a growling sound and: “the tickle monster’s gonna getcha!”

Laughter erupts and it reverberates in the hallway, and YN feels silly for standing there, invading on their privacy, so she gets off the wall and walks quietly down the hallway, reaching the staircase.

She makes her way downstairs, and once she reaches the sitting room she picks up her coat from the armrest of the couch, tugging it close to her chest to try and warm herself from the imminent cold feeling running through her body.

She hears Harry clear his throat behind her, and she jumps a little in her place.

“Didn’t hear yah there” she gasps, bringing one hand up to rest against her beating heart.

“YN, thank you for today. I really…” she watches as he shakes his head, avoiding her gaze, looking for the correct words to choose, “’m proper grateful fo’ what you did.”

“’s okay, Harry” she interrupts him, “you don’t have to thank me. I love Aidi, she’s such a sweet kid”

“She is” he agrees, “but still. Thank you.”

She nods her head at his words and gulps, and she really should’ve left it at that. It was probably the best thing to do; what any normal and sane person would do. She should’ve just accepted his thank yous, put on her coat and left, but she didn’t.

“I never should have kissed you, Harry” she starts, “I’m so sorry if I overstepped some boundaries, I thought…” she sighs, biting harshly on her bottom lip. She doesn’t know what possessed her to say that, maybe the urge to get things back to normal, because it had been three days since the kiss and she already missed how comfortable their relationship had gotten.

“YN…” he shakes his head, stopping her, “’s okay, ’s the past, isn’t it?”

“Yes, but… I shouldn’t have. I know I shouldn’t”

“What are you sayin’, YN… that you regret it? The kiss? Tha’s what you’re sayin’?” He scoffs, crossing his arms against his chest, almost like a pouty child.

“Well I… no, but… it was kind of embarrassing” she chuckles nervously, her fingers tightening their grip around the thick fabric of her coat.

“So you do regret it. ’s fine. I understood right away, clearly nothing has changed between us, you’re still really hard to read and I’m kind of tired of trying to understand you” he snaps, passing a hand through his hair frustratedly.

“I’m hard to read? — YN humorlessly chuckles, pointing an accusatory finger to him — You’re confusing! You tell me you liked me and then after I let you eat me out you leave me like that? That was so embarrassing, why would you do that?”

“Oh… are you sad you didn’t get to return the favor? You made me feel like a fuckin’ slut!” He says, exasperated.

“Is that what you’re so mad about? That I called it a… favor?” Her brows pinch at the front, and she looks at him pointedly.

“No, I’m mad because I love you and you’ve been playing with my feeling since we were fuckin’ 20 years old. But don’t worry. It’s clear now.” He snaps, somehow trying to keep his voice down to not wake Aidi.

YN feels her head spin at the conversation, and his words replay in her head, hauntingly.

“You love me?” She repeats in a small voice, but he seems to not get her question, because he keeps rambling: “I’ll get a nanny, okay? So we’ll never see each other again at school, and once the semester ends I’ll sign Aidi to another class, she’ll be so sad but it’s fine, it’ll pass. I’ll try and find someone before the end of the week, so we’ll never…”

“What the fuck are you talkin’ about?” She chuckles, because the situation is funny to her and she’s still hang up on those three words he said. She doesn’t miss the bewildered look that displays across his feature, his green eyes bright and reflecting in the dim yellowy light of his sitting room.

“Figured yeh’d laugh! ’s funny to you, innit?”

“It is a little bit funny. — she nods, grinning — I don’t want you to do any of that!”

“YN… i don’t think I can see you everyday and…” he sighs, his sweater clad chest heaving.

“Harry” she stops him, raising a hand up to squeeze his bicep between her fingers, in a way to make sure he was giving her undefined attention “I don’t want you to do that because I don’t want to stop seeing you. I didn’t think you loved me”

“I literally told you! So many times! And I think I showed it too…” he shakes his head, but doesn’t remove his arm from her hold.

“I kissed you! I thought you understood!” She exclaims, pinching the fabric of his sweater with her fingers.

“How am I supposed to understand if you don’t tell me anything!” He says, and for the first time, he locks eyes with her, his gaze softening at the sight of her big eyes looking hopefully inside his.

She giggles despite the uncomfortable conversation, and Harry shakes his head, “You’re so frustrating” he admits, sighing heavily once again.

“And you’re silly! I let you eat me out!” She whispers, even if it’s just them, because the intimacy of that gesture didn’t go unnoticed by her.

He doesn’t say anything, his gaze unfocused.

“I’m sorry I never said it back. — she admits, sighing — I really liked you. I didn’t think you’d even noticed me… I didn’t realize how hard I was being. I’m really sorry.”

“YN… ’s fine, I’ll get over it” he trails off, once again.

“No, listen to me, okay? I’m sorry. I genuinely didn’t know, back then. And I’m sorry I didn’t say anything when you told me weeks ago. I thought you weren’t being serious. But I liked you too, I really did. And I wasted a lot of years thinking you didn’t like me back, but it’s not your fault. I should’ve been more… more clear, maybe”

“Yeah, that would have saved us many years probably” he agrees, his heart in his throat, wary of her next words.

“Yeah” she agrees, “what I’m trying to say is that… I loved you and I still love you. If you still want me. I love you” she confesses, and she feels as if a weight has been lifted from her chest, the heaviness of her words finally setting her free after so many years of bottling up her own feelings.

“You really hurt me” he whispers, looking harshly into her eyes, and he bites the inside of his cheek before saying, “really hurt me. It’s unfair you’re telling me now”

YN swallows down her saliva, biting hard on her bottom lip, the harshness of his words hitting her, because truly, she never really thought about his feelings.

On the other hand, she’d like to tell him how much he had hurt her, and embarrassed her, but what good could it do? She already revealed the most important thing about herself: that she loved him. And she hoped it wasn’t too late.

“It’s okay if you… if you don’t like me anymore” she shakes her head, scared of her own words, because she doesn’t really mean them. It’s not okay. She doesn’t want to give him away. She wants him.

“I know ’s been a long time, but…” she continues, “I thought you had to know how I feel about you, because I never said it back. And I’m not a spiritual person for shit, but… I can’t help but think maybe this is another chance to make things right. I had to tell you. I couldn’t not tell you. And I’m really sorry for hurting you. I’ll leave now, if you don’t want me here…”

“We can pretend this conversation never happened and just… you don’t have to make Aidi change classes, I like her” she says, and it comes out in a plea, really, because she doesn’t think she has it in her to lose them now. If he wants to pretend this heartfelt conversation never happened, she’ll be sad, but she’ll do it. For the sake of their “friendship”. Because she doesn’t want to lose him again.

Harry seems to ponder a bit on her words, and in that space of time she’s almost ready to put her coat on and leave, as she should’ve done before, and she’s almost there. She’s on the point of slipping her coat on, but Harry raises one hand and takes her coat from her hold, throwing it on the couch beside them.

“I don’t want you to leave” he whispers, taking a step in front of him, they’re so close now their chests are almost touching, “don’t leave.”

“Okay” she nods, “I won’t.”

He leans down to be closer to her face and he presses his lips on her forehead, not quite kissing her, more like a comforting presence, and she feels the tenderness of his gesture.

“You really do make me go mad” he sighs against her skin, his arms sneaking around her waist, squeezing her against him. “But I love you too”

YN feels her inside warm at his words, and she wraps her arms around him too, squeezing him tightly. She was never good with words, and she’s glad he understood anyway, despite her messy attempt at confessing her feelings.

She looks up to him then, resting her chin on his chest, and he leans down to press his lips against hers. This kiss is much different than the last one, much more soft and less hungry, and even when he slips his tongue to lick at her bottom lip, there’s nothing but tenderness in his gestures.

He brings one hand up to caress her cheek, his fingertip light as a feather against her skin, and YN feels herself melt in his hold. The gesture makes her think back about that time on the bus, how he had touched her so softly, almost scared he’d ruin her, and she thinks about how much things have changed, but mostly nothing had, because he loved her then and he loves her now!

His tongue brushes against hers, and she sighs into his mouth happily.

When he parts from her mouth, he gives her another small peck, his lips wet against hers, and “taste like chocolate” he hums against her lips.

“Mmh, about that…” she ponders, “you might have to buy Aidi a new coat, don’t think those stains are gonna come out”

“Yeah? I thought I told yah no ice cream ‘fore dinner?”

YN laughs a laugh through her nose, and leans in to kiss him again, “you love me”, and there’s nothing but adoration in her eyes.

“I do” he agrees, looking at her fondly.

“And by the way, don’t worry about the coat” he smiles, “reckon I’ve gotten quite good at doin’ laundry, there’s no stain that can resist me”

“I’m really proud of you” she cackles jokingly, “i remember your mum used to do it for yah”

“Heyyyy” he pouts, “only sometimes”

She raises on her tiptoes to press her lips to his in a brief peck, but when she goes to part from him, he only squeezes her tighter against him to deepen the kiss.

“Let’s go upstairs” he breaths out, “you still have a favor to return” he says playfully, and one hand travels down to her bum to pinch at the skin.

She swats at his chest but turns around, in a hurry to reach the stairs, “yeah” she agrees, turning to look at him with a mischievous smile splayed across her mouth “we wasted enough time already”

“Tell me about it” he mumbles, biting his bottom lip as he watches her sly smirk, “thank god you finally came to your senses”

They both laugh at his words, and Harry follows her upstairs to his room, picking her up and throwing her on his bed. That night, he finally gets to kiss all over her body, as he had dreamt many many times, not only in college, but even then, when he thought she was too far away to reach despite seeing her every morning when he left his daughter at school.

Harry, too, isn’t a spiritual person for shit, but maybe, he allows himself to think, this is what it means to be loved, and he finally doesn’t have to wonder anymore what’s so hard to love about him, because, despite not knowing, he’s always been loved, in the years he’d known her, and YN, in the arch of their relationship, and in it’s imminent future, will make sure to tell him that, many times, and the memory of all the wasted years, will remain, thankfully, what it always was: a memory.

Just wanted to take this small space to thank you all for liking and reblogging the first part, you have no idea how happy you made me, so thank you so so so much 😭 the story is over but i can do updates in the future if you guys want <3, i really hope part 2 didn't disappoint, feedback is very much appreciated. love you all

🏷️ taglist: @indierockgirrl @onlystylesss28 @gemofthenight @summertime-pills @lomlhstyles @sicklscream @watarmelon212

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