#dampest

[dredgesnails]

joel in real life smp is like when a puppy climbs stairs for the first time and then realises it has to make the treacherous journey back down so it starts quivering and whimpering. but the climb upstairs was deciding to play this and the treacherous journey is. everything else

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

sequel to this comic

[lynxindisguise]

Dear Lynx, what topics does Remus write in his diary while crying??? Top 5 most soppiest entries?

Dearest Bat, I’m so glad you asked.

1. Sirius came back from the summer even hotter which SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN POSSIBLE. And his hair is so long now, and he keeps playing with it during class, and it isn’t FAIR. Existence is pain. Will he ever know anything but torment??

2. Sirius keeps flirting with his dad and going on and on about how hot he dad is and how he’s going to fuck his dad, and if he wants to fuck a Lupin, why can’t it be him?? And, oh Merlin, what if Sirius becomes his stepfather?? The universe hates him. Life is a cruel joke.

3. Sirius said he didn’t understand how any girl could not like James. Look at him!! He’s so perfect!! But when the topic came up about Remus and girls, Sirius said “ew imagine our Moony with a girlfriend 🤢.” And yes he is gay but clearly Sirius thinks the thought of him dating is disgusting. He is truly the most vile, repulsive creature alive. Why has no one decided to put him out of his misery yet??

4. Sirius bought a leather jacket. Will he never escape the toils of this mortal plane?

5. Day 47 of having a sex dream about Sirius and waking up to nothing but Sirius’s completely meaningless platonic cuddling, and he doesn’t ever want the cuddles to end but there is also nothing more excruciating in this world. Not a single soul on earth could understand his agony.

[davidbyrne]

Photos by Peter Pakvis

[scuderlia]

[seth-burroughs]

Hot take incoming but Makoto is one of the characters where everybody focuses on only one of his crimes, which is arguably actually the most justified out of all his actions, while ignoring pretty much. Everything else.

Like sorry but I don't think turning people into food was That Bad considering homunculi need human meat in order to live, they literally die if they don't eat it - it's either A. no humans get killed, and in turn all of Kanai Ward dies, or B. humans die and get turned into meatbuns, and Kanai Ward gets to exist. You could argue that the defective homunculi weren't really supposed to exist anyway but like, they do now so what. Makoto is also a homunculus, of course he probably sympathizes more with the other homunculi instead of the humans (that put them there in the first place) of course he's gonna choose KW over approx. a million humans.

If that was me in that situation I'll do the same thing fuck them bun filling lmao sorry I'm not saying it would be the best choice but it's one literally most people would choose anyway because like. What can you do, it sucks, moving on.

Substitutes for human flesh are possible to create (thank you ramen guy) but it'd require him to seek help from others which would require him to tell them the truth which fuck no. Like in that regard I believe he should be allowed to kill whoever he wants actually!

What actually makes me go 🤨 about him is everything else he's doing. Or not doing - aside from providing food and rain clouds, aka only a portion the bare necessities, he's doing absolutely nothing for Kanai Ward, especially Dohya District. He lives in the most expensive looking penthouse I ever laid my eyes upon, there is so much he could do with all of his billions, like, I don't know, at least unflood the Dohya District do you remember the Dohya District it appeared once in chapter 3 I believe.

Also your city has a poverty crisis the population's like 10% rich bitch working for ✨Amaterasu✨ 90% i live in a sewer i have like 8 shien. Please stop saying you love KW like every othet sentence and actually do something I'm begging you I'm poking you with a stick right now.

Say what you want about Yomi but he was so real for telling Makoto he's not doing shit, only ever instance in rc where the guy is like.... somewhat correct. I was about to say something else but I stopped myself because I have a healthy amount of Fear.

Apparently Makoto's love for all homunculi doesn't extend to Kurumi though, a teenage girl, after he just dumps her along with Yuma in the restricted area for no reason whatsoever, endangering her severely. He also risked her finding out she was eating human flesh for three years straight, the only reason she didn't go into the freezer was because Yuma was there to tell her there was nothing there. There was no reason for Makoto to drag her along to be the audience to his epic showdown with his DNA donor.

I'm not mad at him for that though, that was so fucking hilarious, the fuck?? What is wrong with him <3333

Since I know somebody is going to say that Yomi existing severely limits what Makoto can actually do, which is fair to some extent, but like... Was Yomi holding a gun to his head and telling him he's gonna execute the hostages if he tries to unflood Dohya? Was he? Yomi controls the peacekeepers, he doesn't control where Amaterasu money gets donated. Yomi (and by extension, the peacekeepers - Yomi is, as I see it, the personification of everything wrong with the Amaterasu Corporation cops peacekeepers anyway) can be blamed for a large portion of everything wrong with Kanai Ward, but not the entirety of it; and Makoto can't be, either. Blaming everything on Yomi is not only just wrong, but also the most boring answer possible.

Speaking of -- Makoto didn't even care about all the abuse of power Yomi was commiting the entire time. According to him, "If all Yomi did was throw his weight around, that would have been fine, but [forgot the exact phrasing, but he says him trying to leak homunculus information was where he had to step in]", so you can't even give him points for being a Yomi hater! Sad. Anyway here's how makoyomi worsties can still win

Do I dislike Makoto? No not really. I don't really care about him as much as other people tend to, but he's fun when you let him be his silly (ominous) self. The atrocities are a part of him and I decided they're funny. Actually wait I changed my mind I love him now.

[yharnamesque]

Messmer looks like the kind of guy who'd have to lock himself in his bedroom ugly crying for a whole evening because you did something nice like spend a single hour carefully brushing his hair for the first time in his life

[notffxiv]

i'm gonna figure out how to make gifs in the year of our lord 2023 i swear it

[beaft]

oh yeah also i started a dark urge run while i was waiting for my mods to update and virtually the first thing i did was accidentally chop gale's hand off, so that's going well

[oetscop]

i left my wallet in my vest in the breakroom so i essentially just. walked to the back. walked around and then all the way to the front. then abck to the breakroom. and then back to the front to pay. and then back to the breakroom. ive never been sweatier in my life

[gay-ppl-real]

Wasps keep coming in my window while I'm trying to work and I keep just shouting "leave" or "NO" at them like a banishment spell

and it keeps working

[gender-trash]

hell yeah shippuden episode 121... it's raining... itachi is standing out in the rain and making dramatic pronouncements... senya starts playing in the background... yes bitch this is your natural habitat !!

[absols-and-accessibility]

Does anyone know where I can talk to a unova region professor. There is. An Oahawatt on my balcony. I live in the middle of nimbasa there's no way it should be here other than 1. Escaped from the Starter Program or 2. Time Rift Bullshit and either way I should at least get the little guy checked out.

[impishtubist]

Season 2 of the Perry Mason reboot dropped and Della is already picking up ladies in episode 1, nobody look at me or talk to me, this is the only thing I’m gonna talk about for the next 100 years.

[witchblade]

the ive release getting implicitly crushed like a bug by every single release this month including twice

[kisakis-boyfriend]

♦️

kaveh simp guy again. I see your requests are open! if it's not too much trouble, can I request a monster reader with nature explorer kaveh thing? he's been on my mind and I'm just HRRRNGHGHH I NEED HIM.

Author's Note: Hello again! I made the reader a plant-like monster, hopefully that's something a little different from my other monster fics haha 😅 — I do hope you enjoy this, Kaveh simp! 💚

Pairings: Kaveh x male reader

Warnings: Male plant monster!reader, dom/top!reader, explorer!Kaveh, sub/bottom!Kaveh, soft noncon, praise, double penetration (reader has 2 dicks), vine tentacles, cumflation, aphrodisiacs, throatfucking

Sent out to the hottest, dampest, foggiest rainforest alone, our beloved explorer grumbles to himself as he cuts down another entanglement of thick vines that block his path.

He's sweaty, he's irked at his workplace for dumping this assignment onto his shoulders, and he can't see his own nose in front of him in this place! Kaveh only wishes for this trip to end soon. If only these stupid flowers didn't require such specific conditions to grow in. Why must it be so difficult to find them?!

Just as another complaint crosses his mind, Kaveh finds himself staring at a small patch of the exact flowers he'd been searching for! Bright yellow petals with flecks of purple and red, surrounded by thorny vines, and somewhat in the shade. Yep, these were it, alright!

Kaveh carefully reaches forward to pick one, but just as his fingertips brush against the stem, something wraps around his ankles, snaking up his body in an instant.

Thick, firm vines hold his limbs in place, and one even wraps itself around his throat loosely. Kaveh can no longer move. In a panic, he yells, “Hey! What is this?! Someone get me out!” though he knows he is all alone here.

Kaveh flinches as something makes contact with his hips, grabbing them, while something else pushes against his butt. A pair of lips kiss behind his ear, and begin to trail down a bit, sucking on the skin of his shoulder until it becomes reddish.

“Oh, my darling, you're exceptionally beautiful, aren't you?” A hypnotic voice chimes. The voice resonates in the back of the explorer's mind, sending a sensation through his body that makes him feel even warmer than before.

His breaths don't feel complete. He is breathing, but it doesn't feel quite right. There's not enough air filling his lungs, and his vision blurs as his panicking increases.

“Hmm… you smell nice too. Almost makes me want to eat you up~”

—

You waste no time finding a way inside of the explorer's body. Human clothing is annoying, but tears easily. One of your vines pushes right through the cloth covering the explorer's ass, plunging in without warning or prep, though the natural slime they secrete does help with the pain, at least a little.

The human's moans sound so pitiful — though they turn sluttier by the second, as every thrust deeper inside of his warm walls clearly brings him satisfaction.

Good human. You think to yourself, pressing closer to his body, your own arousal clearly poking his ass cheek.

Kaveh's sounds become muffled when another thick, green vine pushes past his lips. The girth of the vine pushes his head back and forth as it enters and exits his mouth, bringing many lovely noises as he tries not to choke on the thing.

Once again, without warning, the vine violating his hole slips out, and gets immediately replaced by something much, much thicker and wetter — one of your fat cocks impales Kaveh's ass selfishly, which causes him to squeeze his eyes shut until tears form.

More of his clothes are ripped in the process of you exploring the explorer's soft body. His skin is so beautiful glistening with sweat, and sensitive too. It seems like every time your fingers or small vines brush against his chest, he shivers and clenches around your cock.

Your cock throbs and stretches his poor ass so much, there's no way you won't leave him gaping once you're finished. In which case; why not continue filling him up?

If the human can handle one of your dicks, surely both of them won't hurt too much?

Pushing in a second, fat, bumpy cock proves to be just what the explorer needed to spill those tears. It's a sight so pitiful, it makes you want to swallow him whole and keep him forever. His tears — his pleasure — they should all belong to you.

“You're taking so much, beautiful. I'm impressed. Your body appears delicate, but you take my cocks with little resistance, no?” He's unable to answer, but the slight twitch of his own cock proves to be an answer all on its own.

For this, you decide to reward him; pushing the vine further down Kaveh's throat and picking up the speed of your thrusts. You hit so deep inside of him, Kaveh's unsure how to handle this much pleasure at once — and you're not even touching his dick, though it aches for some form of stimulation. Instead, you leave it to drool precum onto the ground, bobbing along with your pounding.

A warm, gelatinous fluid soon fills the explorer's little holes, filling him from both ends until his belly swells. The sweet taste lingers on his tongue as your vine exits his mouth.

A few more spurts cover Kaveh's body, dripping down his adorable butt and face. Your scent surrounds him now, and that only serves to further pull him into your grasp. Kaveh blinks a couple times, dazedly turning his head to face you.

You pull him against your chest, using a few stronger vines to lift him so that he no longer has to focus on standing upright. You allow him to rest, and he does. He drifts off in your arms — like a prince after a long journey.