#dani said: i use humour to cope but it's not even funny

[daniellle]

pippa.

continued from here @pippc​

HANDS are wringing nervously as she barely listens to the words that seem to echo across the room. she doesn’t want to be here. she shouldn’t be here. she’s not one of these people, not really. Baby blues scan the room and meet her MOTHERS honey browns. She is watching her closely from the other end of the table, her eyes are COLD, calculated. She doesn’t need to speak for Pippa to know what she is saying, and the younger’s eyes fall to the floor again, her mind focused on swallowing the LUMP that seems to be permanently stuck in her throat like STICKY TOFFEE. how did she end up in this situation? will she get out with her life? is DEATH the only way out? would it be worth it at this point? her thoughts are punctured by the sudden sound of chairs moving against hardwood floor and around her DARK faces get up, some making for the exit, others stopping to talk with each other. With shaky legs she pushes her chair back, lifting herself, hoping no one stops her to ask what she thought of the meeting - she has no thoughts, well, that’s not true, she has plenty of thoughts, but none that can be voiced without DIRE consequences. if she’s learnt anything, its to keep her mouth shut. She attempts to move swiftly across the room, but within seconds is stopped - THANK HELGA it’s DANI. she’s not sure she can handle many other people. ‘‘ oh - yeah, sure. do you wanna go outside? ’’  

She hates the meetings most of all, perhaps. Danielle isn’t good at sitting still, because when she sits still and is forced to listen, her mind wanders. And when her mind wanders, she finds herself in places she’d rather not be. Places of volatility, of violence – directed at herself or others, but what’s the difference anyway? – of stifling fear, above all. She wants nothing to do with such things, would rather spend an evening like this in a bar or club, or even rehearsing lines in her bedroom. Anything but sitting still and keeping her mouth shut. And so when it’s done, she feels restless, an exploding bomb. She considers reaching for Archie, asking him for anything to numb herself again, but in the end chooses Pippa. Her presence alone is soothing, Dani has found over the years, and she has the feeling that she could use some distraction, too. They all could. “Please, yeah,” she says, wanting to say anywhere but here, but not daring to add it in this company. Already she’s moving, looking over her shoulder every now and then to check for Pippa. She’s moving fast, her restlessness evident from her steps alone. Once outside, metres removed from any other Death Eaters, she looks at her fellow Hufflepuff. “Lestrange could learn a thing or two about capturing people’s attention, don’t you think?” A joke, delivered without passion. Rabastan is, in all truth, rather terrifying, and that catches Dani’s attention alright. Her eyes drift away from Pippa. “It’s like Binns teaching history of magic.” She’s silent for a moment, before meeting Pippa’s eyes again. “You okay?”