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#danny deserves a hoodie as a treat
thebooo-merang · 2 years
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green is the new black
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disasterbuckdiaz · 5 months
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weekend wip game
tagged by @hoodie-buck @hippolotamus @pirrusstuff @callmenewbie @thewolvesof1998 @wikiangela @jesuisici33
as I'm late tagging anyone who wants to do it
Rules: List your WIPs below (if you only write one fic at a time, feel free to include future WIPs/ideas!) then answer the following questions. Then, tag as many people as you have WIPs (or more)
it's too many so wips I wrote/brainstormed about recently:
you rule my heart (I am your royal slave) or King Eddie/Lord Buckley
bra fic (or Buck in bra and too into it Eddie)
girl dad Buck and ped Eddie
Vegas fic
street dancer Eddie/firefighter Buck or dance my way to your heart
exes to lovers
florist Buck/tattoo master Eddie
sometimes it takes a baby (or platonic baby making)
after 6s where Eddie is stupid and insecure
enemies to lovers singers
Buck wears skirts
Eddie has a cousin
Buck wooed by a guy
2. Which of your WIPs is currently the longest?
—Vegas wip (11061) and enemies to lovers (11460)
3. Which WIP do you expect will end up the longest?
—prev too(I guess enemies to lovers) or street dancer Eddie
4. Which WIP is your favorite to write/the most enjoyable to write? Why?
—hmm I love all because of the different reasons but royal au, enemies to lovers and street dancer Eddie funny because of the new aus and kind of new possibilities for out boys and exploring them.
5. Which WIP do you find the most intimidating to write? Why?
—hmmm I think it is Buck wears skirts well cause I have some insecurities about it
6. Which WIP do you experience the most self-doubt about. Why?
—Vegas fic cause I need to reedit this fic a lot and it has different narrator changes in the text and too many repetitions of the lines and yeah i need to reread it even
7. Which of your WIPs will you seek out a beta/sensitivity reader for? Why?
—IDK
8. Have any of your WIPs been struck by the curse of writer's block?
—All the wips I abonded or ideas i never started (they love in my files)
9. Which WIP has your favorite OC? Tell us about them?
—i don't have a lot OC but my favs are Danny from wooing Buck. cause he's sweet and really likes Buck and wants to treat him right hoe Buck deserves. And Alex Diaz aka Eddie's little menace cousin. I love him cause he's funny and smart and knows what to do to make his stupid cousin admit his feelings
10. Which WIP is the sexiest?
—hmm probably royal au or bra fic. But I have some ideas which are probably will win
11. Which WIP is the angstiest?
—Buck sold his life 1000000%%%%%
12. Which WIP has the best characterization (in your humble opinion)?
—hmmmmmm Vegas or exes to lovers. or after 6s
13. Which WIP has the best scene setting (in your humble opinion)?
—probably royal or vegas
14. Which WIP have you worked the hardest on?
—all ? But Enemies to lovers wins because of the work with editing and with music
15. Which WIP do you have the highest expectations for? Why?
—Enemies to lovers cause it's going to be biggest work I will publish. With the most amount of work done and cause it's an au
16. Do you dream about any of your WIPs?
—day dram yes. really dreaming not really.
17. Do any of your WIPs have particular complexities that that your other fics don't?
—two fics i have are dark. especially one of them. and it contains psychological disease
18. Which WIP is the funniest or has the most humor?
—hmmm Vegas i guess
19. Do any of your WIPs contain outside POVs or a deep dive on a character other than the main ship? How are you finding that process?
—not now
20. Tell us one thing we don't know about one or more of your WIPs
—I have some secret kinky fics and dark fics
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goodproofingwater · 5 years
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Wildfire Records - Chapter Sixteen
Word count: 2992
Playlist pick:
Heartbreak Hotel - Heidi Fleek
Press play when you see the *
“Shhhh!” The man’s voice whispered, obviously drunk and she had a good idea who it was, “don’t wanna wake everyone up babe..”
“Gonna wake everyone up by moaning your name anyway…” Lizzies voice and high pitched giggle cut through the silence, and Victoria let out a sharp breath, wishing more than anything she had slept through the night.
“Mm you’re right..” Andy spoke, and there were sounds of heels and boots meeting the wooden floors and the rug in the hallway before a distant door closed.
She tried to get back to sleep, but she was too angry, too upset with herself that it still bothered her, and so she stood and grabbed her water glass and a blanket and went into the media room. She had learned from previously sitting in here while Danny and Andy played call of duty that the room was soundproof, so she knew that if there were any noises she didn’t want to hear they wouldn’t permeate the bubble of the media room.
Flicking on one of her favourite films, Some Like It Hot, she curled up on the comfy couch, pulling a blanket over herself but keeping a leg out so that she wasn’t too warm.
She smiled, sipping her water as she chuckled to Marilyns words, and she almost jumped out of her skin when the door cracked open.
“Fuck!” She jumped, grinning as she saw his tired eyes, blonde hair askew as if he had just woken up and maybe he had. His room was directly next to hers and therefore had the same issue with the noise, and she sat up a little as he moved into the room in nothing but baggy pyjama bottoms.
Maybe it was the way the light from the large screen was hitting him, the haziness of the evening or the fact that they had been so close to kissing earlier, but he looked even more gorgeous standing there with bed head than he had done in that suit.
“Couldn’t sleep either huh?” He spoke, closing the door behind him and letting his eyes run from the blankets, up her bare leg and to the material of his hoody. His features softened further at the sight of her in his clothing, the image of her curled up in bed with his hoody wrapped around her small form. As she shook her head and adjusted herself, he moved to sit next to her on the couch, “I wondered where that hoody had gone..” he smiled.
“Hmm?” She looked down, biting her lip and glancing back up at him, “Oh sorry — do you want it back?” She moved her fingers to the hem of the fabric after she had pushed the blanket away, pushing it up further and he chewed softly on the inside of his cheek to stop himself from biting his lip as she exposed more of her skin.
“No, it’s fine. Looks better on you anyway,” he smiled at her, and Victoria swallowed thickly as she pulled the hoody down to where it was before, her tired mind having not made the connection that if he had asked for it back she would have been sitting on the couch in nothing but underwear. She bit her lip at his comment, and hoped the blush that she felt creeping in was well hidden in the darkness of the room.
“Are they still being loud?” The redhead questioned, offering Josh some of the blanket as he sat next to her and she automatically moved closer to him, his arm on the back of the couch an invitation that she couldn’t refuse.
“Yeah, god knows how Danny and Juliet are dealing with it” he shook his head, eyes narrowing slightly at the screen for a moment before he realised what was on the screen, “you like Some Like It Hot?”
Victoria nodded, pushing past the fact that Andy was out there fucking the woman he had cheated on her with, “Yeah.. I love Marilyn. How did you know it was that?”
“My mom used to watch all these old movies when she couldn’t sleep, this was one of the only ones that I could stand. This and Singin In The Rain..”
“I love singin in the rain!” Victoria grinned, perking up a little from being so upset. She leant over him to grab her water from the table and sipped it, resting her head on his shoulder as the movie played out. His hand moved to hook around her waist and pull her closer, and she entwined her legs with his own, getting as close to him as she possibly could.
*“He already regrets this whole thing yno..” Josh started, “I’ve never seen him actually apologise to a girl before..”
Victoria didn’t look up from where she was sitting, allowed herself to remain entangled in this limbs, “if he really gave a shit he wouldn’t be sleeping with her still.” She sighed, moving to look up at him, “besides, it doesn’t matter. I don’t want to be with someone who can so easily betray me like that. I barely want to be friends with him.”
Josh nodded, trying to focus on the sound of her voice rather than the way her knee was positioned, the way her hand had rested on his chest. Even with such little concentration, her words were exactly what he needed to hear. He had not wanted to step over the line, had wanted to wait until she was fully over Andy to make a move, and if those words weren’t enough to confirm that she was then he didn’t know what would be.
Looking into her eyes, he moved a hand to sit on her thigh, “you were always too good for him, you know that right?” He spoke, and the tension between them was so much that she could feel her lips tingling.
Slowly she began to run her fingers along his collar bone, a gentle touch just enough to feel goosebumps form on his skin. “I don’t think so..” she whispered, shaking her head but his hand came to her jaw to stop it.
“You are..” he whispered, “you’re perfect..” she let out a shaking breath as he moved closer, their noses running softly along each other’s.
“Thank you.. but I’m not..” she spoke and a small chuckle fell from his lips and she bit the inside of her own.
“V.. can I… can i kiss you?” He whispered, and her heart skipped in her chest. She wanted to tell him how long she had wanted to feel his lips, wanted to tell him how she hated that they had been interrupted hours before but her throat was so dry that she couldn’t speak. So, instead of giving him an answer, she looked up into piercing blue eyes before finally closing the gap between them.
It was so different, his fingers so calloused from playing his guitar were so gentle on her face. She had been so used to Andy’s strong grip, his hands pulling her in whatever direction he wanted, that she almost pulled away. But she couldn’t. She hadn’t realised how much she needed this, how much she had lost herself in the roughness, how little she felt like she had deserved being treated delicately because of his tastes. Of course she had enjoyed it, but it felt like Josh was reaching into her soul as he held her, like he could see how fucked up she had been and he wanted to kiss her better.
Her lips quivered as they met his, her hand resting on his shoulder as she sighed into the softest kiss she had ever received. He pulled back slowly, as if waiting for a sign that this is what she really wanted, and she leant into him, moving closer and trying her best not to think about everything that had happened. Her heart felt so full in this moment, as if everything had been leading up to it, but how could it have when this could have happened so long ago?
“V..” He whispered against her lips, a silent prayer before he kissed her firmly, a hand slipping into her hair as the other pulled her close by the waist and she moved to straddle his body. He didn’t care that Andy had been with her first, didn’t care about anything that had happened in the last few weeks, all he cared about was this. He had dreamed of this moment for so long, and it was finally here. He was kissing her.
She let out a soft moan into his mouth and it took everything in him not to pick her up and take her. Instead he held her as she deserved to be held, showed her what it was like to feel loved instead of whatever Andy had given her. It was only when they heard a gunshot from the film that they pulled back, foreheads resting against each others.
Letting out a shaking breath, Victoria looked into his gorgeous blue eyes, her heart beating at a million miles a minute and she felt like she had just had a drink of water after years of dehydration. Like she had been waiting for that moment her whole life.
“J–” She looked up at him through her lashes, a small smile wavering on her features, and she bit her lip softly at the look he was giving her. There was nothing more than she wanted to continue this, wanted to go back to his or her room and kiss like that all night if not more, but she knew that they couldn’t rush this. She had wanted this for so long that she didn’t want to ruin it by doing everything at once.
“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen..” he breathed, the words falling over each other in desperation to finally get out. His lips moved to caress her neck softly as he had wanted to do so many times before, hands running up her thighs and under the hoody. Fingers touched on the waistband of lacy panties as he moved his hands to her waist to hold her close, and the fact that she was wearing nothing but underwear and his hoody turned him on in ways he could never explain.
Victoria’s stomach did the backflip she was becoming accustomed to and she bit down on her lip as his lips and his wandering hands turned her on, soft moans filling the air between them and she moved her hips against him involuntarily. The groan that fell from his lips was so hot that she couldn’t help herself.
She kissed him hungrily, not knowing how to respond to his compliment when she was so starstruck. She held his face with both hands, hips grinding against his own as he held her waist, and she pulled back from him as she felt him harden beneath her.
“Fuck…” she whispered, “god Josh do you know how long I’ve wanted this? How long I’ve wanted you..?” She looked into his eyes, emotion overcoming her as she began to tear up.
“I’ve wanted you just as long baby..” he grinned, pulling her flush against him and kissing her with all the fire he had held back for months.
She knew that if she kept on like this that she would lose all self control, she would fall to her knees or pull him on top of her, and it was far too soon. So she licked her lips and closed her eyes, running her nose softly against his and allowing herself to enjoy the moment for one more second before she pulled back. She moved from him, biting her lip and curling up beside him again, hands gripping the bare skin of his chest before he moved them to lay on the couch together.
His arm moved beneath her head, his hand around her waist and he pulled her into his body to spoon her. As they watched, his fingers danced along her waist, her ribs, any part of her that he could touch, and he placed soft kisses along her covered shoulder, her neck and her cheek.
Nothing more was said, both of them acutely aware of how much they wanted each other but not wanting to do anything to ruin the moment. He held her close and they fell asleep there, wrapped up in blankets and each other.
Andy awoke the next morning alone, Lizzie having left almost immediately after he had made her cum. Of course he wasn’t that bothered, he had got his end away too, but while with Victoria he had realised how much he enjoyed being close with a person after sex. How much he enjoyed waking up next to them and pulling them in, soft and steady strokes beneath blankets in the morning to awaken the entire body. He hadn’t had morning sex since he had been with the redhead and he missed it.
It was clear from the evening before that the ship had sailed with Victoria. He had seen how her and Josh interacted in the studio and how she had looked at him when she was dancing. He wasn’t surprised when they went home together at the same time as Danny and Juliet.
Did he get to wake up next to her this morning? Did he get to experience how much she loved giving drunken head? Did he get woken up by her sleep talking and pull her close into his arms as Andy had? None of it mattered now. He had royally fucked up and she had moved on, so he should too. He just wished that Lizzie was more of the staying till morning type.
He showered and pulled on fresh clothing before he checked his phone, brow furrowing in confusion as he saw 3 missed calls from an unknown number. Surely Lizzie wouldn’t be calling him from work this morning? Maybe she forgot something at their house?
He tapped away at the phone as he pressed the button to activate the coffee machine, choosing just to ring the person back as the easiest way to find out what was going on.
The voice that met him wasn’t who he had expected, and he cleared his throat as the receptionist put him through to whoever had called.
“Andy?” The voice spoke, and he swallowed the mouthful of coffee he had just taken before answering
“Uh.. yeah hi who is this?”
“My name is Cindy Jameson, I’m the talent manager at Fieldworks records. I wondered if you wanted to meet for a coffee?”
Andy wracked his brain as he tried to remember why the names sounded so familiar. Perhaps that was one of the companies that they had researched when they had first got here or maybe they had sent their EP to them? Either way it was too early and he was too hungover to think on it further.
“Yeah sure why not..” he spoke, eyes glancing at Victoria who had made her way upstairs in Josh’s hoody, him trailing behind her looking equally as tired. He made the connection then, Cindy was Victoria’s manager, had been the one to turn them down before.
“Okay cool, how does next Tuesday sound? Where are you based?” The redheads mind ran through a thousand different answers, knowing he should turn her down but so angry that Josh and Victoria were happy that he couldn’t think logically. He knew that the others were going to be camping next week so it was the perfect time to meet with her.
“Green Park, and yeah next Tuesday sounds great. Text me where you wanna meet.” He spoke, sipping his coffee and feeling a little guilty until Josh moved behind Victoria at the coffee machine, pulling her into his body and kissing her neck softly when he thought that no one was looking.
He put the phone down and grabbed his toast from the toaster, going moving to the couch so he didn’t have to watch them flirt. So what if Victoria’s ex manager wanted to meet? What’s the worst that could happen, they start working with fieldworks instead? Surely the girls wouldn’t mind, but he would keep it under his hat for now. He knew what was best for his band.
Danny and Juliet came up the stairs looking remarkably better than Josh and Victoria, and Victoria bit her lip as she saw Juliet’s eyes run over the hoody she was wearing. She didn’t want to mention anything about what had happened the previous evening, wanted to keep their kiss as secret as possible until she knew what was actually going on but being in his clothes spoke for itself.
She had woken up in his arms that morning, pressed firmly against his body with his hand resting on her bare stomach. His morning wood was what woke her, poking hard into her back and she loved morning sex and wanted him so much that it took everything in her not to make a move. She was so nervous about being that way with him, so scared that this was all happening too fast and it seemed too good to be true. But he had woken up and kissed her again, had hovered over her on the couch as their tongues danced with each other in a kiss that could easily have been foreplay. They had both held back, and she had left him to go to the bathroom to deal with his morning wood before she went upstairs, not wanting to do anything that could tarnish the fact that everything she had wanted was finally happening.
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artificialqueens · 7 years
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It's not personal, it's fiction (2) (Biadore) - shadyqueenie
A/N: awwww baes, I’m sorry this took so long – but this chap is twice the first one and I really had struggles with some sentences :(((( also, I’m not that happy of how it came out but I needed to write it that way since I have plans for the next one ;)))
I don’t know when I will be able to update again – I hope it will be at the end of the month but ehy, it’s the MFW and guess who’s working as hell?! Btw, I really love you (: thank you for your support, I wasn’t expecting it! As I always say, please keep on writing me! Your duh, shady
In this episode (?) ~
“Do you want to come out?” He started off suddenly, nervous as hell. […] “Out?” “Outside! We need to celebrate my win!” “You know it’s forbidden… do you?”
IT’S NOT PERSONAL, IT’S FICTION
The first day of airing after their deal went as smoothly as honey. At least for Danny. For Roy it was pure hell. He felt nervous and quick-tempered – as if he was about to bite someone. Then there was the elimination day. That night he couldn’t sleep well. He wasn’t worried about the race – he was worried about him being around Adore. But he made a deal and he had to honor it. “What are you going to wear?” Asked Bianca to Adore while they were doing their make up. To be honest, she already saw it putted onto the clothes hanger – and she really hoped that wasn’t the real Adore’s choice. “The black one” replied the other one pointing it. …And here we are. “Are you sure? Do you remember what Michelle told you?” “Yeah but you will help me by cinching me and no one would look at anything else” Adore blinked at Bianca in a very flirting way “Will you?” Bianca sighed “Just hurry up and finish this bitch smoking eye you’re doing”. She forced a smile while trying to put a pair of false lashes in her eyes, but ended up so nervous she messed all up. “Fuck” Bianca breathed. Why couldn’t she act as natural as Adore? Courtney was sit next to them. She watched the whole scene without saying anything. It was strange for her seeing Bianca not throwing any shades at Adore. Ok, Bianca was always helpful, but that was strange – even for her. Courtney didn’t even realize Adore has finished her make-up and that Bianca had already cinched her until she heard clearly from Adore’s wardrobe “Do I have a hot body now?” And Bianca’s reply “Yeah sure, the hottest one”. Yeah, sure?! What was that? A sarcastic line that didn’t came out well? A sincere compliment? Courtney couldn’t tell – the only thing she was sure was that wasn’t so Bianca-alike. I’m super late and that’s because all this flirty bullshits she thought blending her cheekbones faster than she has never done before.
“Adore Delano, you’re the winner of this week challenge” As Bianca heard this words she clapped her hands, as etiquette required. Adore really made her laugh when she said that her dress was made for the judges to see through her body. She envied that attitude of hers, with those adorable (yes, adorable) jokes and flirty glances. Did she had to whisper ‘I’m so proud’ as Adore suggested days before? That could have been too much, and Bianca was a bit disappointed. She wanted to win, of course. I’m here to win, that’s what was in her mind as she looked at Adore smiling. Adore glanced back at her. She waited for Bianca to say ‘I’m so proud’ but nothing happened, and while reaching the backstage her smile died. The older queen seemed stressed all the day long, but while Bianca walked the runaway she still looked beautiful and flawless as she has always done. Adore needed to plan something in order to understand what was wrong – she hoped it wasn’t for their deal, and she had to know it before the next airing session.
Jay give him the perfect occasion. In the bus for their way back to the hotel he approached Danny and whispered “We have to celebrate, and I exactly know how” “Ganj please, I told you I don’t want to get stoned during the race” Danny didn’t even look at his friend. He was sure Jay was going to offer him some ‘fantastic weed a friend of a friend grows in his wardrobe’. “Girl, I was talking about going out tonight!” Even if he tried so hard to keep his voice volume low, he couldn’t really make it “I know how to escape from this prison” “Woah?! Really?!” As Danny heard ‘going out’ he suddenly felt excited. Twenty days closed in that hotel and now the only thing he really wanted was going out – without being eliminated from the challenge, of course. “Yes, please say we will. My room is the one next to Derienne’s and I swear if I heard her or any of those airheads laugh again I will put a gun in my head and pull the trigger” Jay took his hands in Dannys’, looking at him with puppy eyes. “Party!” Was the only thing Danny said, and Jay knew that was one of the 100 ways of Danny for saying yes, so he came back to his seat and giggled “at 10p.m. in front of the elevator, ok?” Danny nodded as he kept staring at the window – he caught Roy’s reflection and sighed. He wanted to invite him so bad. Something that meant “we’re not just two people that play together – we can be friends too, and friends go together in a club”. Hell, that’s exactly what he was going to tell him.
Hours later, Roy opened his door as someone knocked it. He was expecting it to be Benjamin – they had to join Shane and Greg for a drink. He was really surprised to see Danny instead. “Do you want to come out?” He started off suddenly, nervous as hell. During dinner Roy wouldn’t even gave him a second look, so all the discourse he prepared in the bus was a bunch of bullshits at that moment. “Out?” “Outside! We need to celebrate my win!” “You know it’s forbidden… do you?” “Yes I do. But being closed here is boring! So, so, so boring! Jay flirted with a concierge and he said he will let us use the back door. There’s a club, it’s not that far away and let’s be honest – none of the episode are already broadcasted, no one would recognize us out of drag” Danny put on the hood of his worn out hoodie. He tried to look funny and managed to get a smile out of him, but nothing happened. “Jay? Laganja? The one that makes you cry and furious?” Asked Roy ignoring most of the words Danny said. “When we’re not in the studios she’s still the same old chola I met years ago. Come on, Roy! We can have a drink and dance together” Danny tried to pull him closer, but Roy pushed him away as he shook his head. “I don’t get you. And no, I’m not coming. Shane invited me and others to have a drink at the hotel’s bar” Roy saw Danny’s smile disappearing from his face as he spoke “I thought you knew it.” The younger had nothing to reply. Of course the awesome Shane didn’t tell him anything. He has been speaking only with the older queens, the ones that were thought to be potential winners. Roy looked at the clock in the wall. In a moment Ben would be out of his room, which happened to be the one in front of Roy’s. He didn’t want him to see Danny in front of his room. Eventually, Danny spoke – and tried to be as natural as he could “No I didn’t, but… Hey! The hotel bar? I thought that was our place!” “And I thought you didn’t need to bitching in some unknown club” answered back Roy impatient. “You are jealous? If you ask, I’m not going to dance with anyone” Danny blinked “No, I’m just concerned” he crossed his arm. Please, please, please go. Danny sighed – how many time did Roy made him sigh that day?! “I will knock your door when I’ll come back” that was his last try. This was his night, he won the challenge and has every right to be treated as a queen. He wanted to celebrate and wanted Roy to be part of this moment of absolute joy – but he couldn’t force him. Not so much, at least. “Don’t bother” Roy didn’t wait for any replay, but closed his door as soon as he finished the sentence.
Later, Roy reached Shane, Greg and Ben. They talked about a lot oh things while drinking, but Roy was (as Shane noticed) extremely quiet. Too much for being him. Actually, Roy was thinking about how harsh he was with Danny. He didn’t deserve it. He was trying really hard to being friends with Roy – but he couldn’t help. He needed to stay focus on the race and nothing more. Especially, he didn’t want to give to the others something to gossip about. During the night he kept his profile low, laughing when needed and agreeing with everything has been said. Shane noticed it. Not that he was stalking Roy, but that attitude he kept having since yesterday seemed really strange. “Roy, are you fine? You didn’t say anything” eventually, Shane tried to do something. Maybe it wasn’t the right time, but he wanted to make sure that it wasn’t something serious. “Maybe he’s still burning about Adore’s victory” Greg suggested. “Guys, can you believe it?” Roy opened his mouth in a very fake shocked way “She basically won because I’m too kind for this race and cinched her!”. The others queen laughed. They kept on talking about the episode they just aired and, as Roy imagined, he found out that Greg was pretty a blabbermouth person. He had shades for every queen, and Roy shuddered at the thought of what he could have said about him. At 1a.m., the bartender asked politely the queens to leave “We are closing” he apologized before cleaning the tables.
“So sorry the night’s over…” said Ben in a whisper as they arrived in front of the elevator.   “Maybe not…” Shane answered back with a vicious smile, revealing he had a bottle of champagne hidden under his sweatshirt. “You Aussie bitch! Were did you took it?” “The bartender didn’t saw me so…” his laugh made the others doing the same. Roy felt a bit relieved. Those old chicks really helped him being a bit more cheerful and God, he really needed it. “Ok ladies, let’s go to my room” Roy proposed. It was kind of selfish of him, but he was sure that Danny would shown up at the end of his night of celebrations – and he didn’t want to be alone with him “and toast to these Aussies that stole our alcohol…” “…And the crown” Shane added, skipping in the hallway.
As soon as Greg and Ben decided it was time to go back to their rooms and exited Roy’s, Shane seized the opportunity “Ok, now you can tell me.” “Tell you what?” Roy looked at Shane puzzled. He noticed that during the evening Shane was suspicious towards him – as if he had done something strange. “What was today’s scene?” Ah, that’s the reason. “I thought that was the right thing to do, that’s all. I don’t really think of Adore as a competitor – I’m not scared of her, that’s why I cinched her” “You’re not scared by anyone” she sighed “But we both know I’m not talking about that scene. ‘Do I have a hot body now’?!” Shane tried to imitated Adore and Roy laughed, having to admit he was pretty good at it. But still, he had to play naïve “Shane, sorry, I still don’t get it.” “Well, I think we’re kind of…friends? So I can tell you.” The blonde set his glass down and looked at Roy right in the eyes “After episode five, I felt something different. Are you and Adore… a thing?” “What?!” Court shrugged “It was just a sensation” Roy was nervous. Bianca was a comedy queen, acting was something she should be used to. He thought that – to a certain extent – he should have gained enough self-confidence with Bianca’s help. In his out of drag life yes, he was sarcastic and harsh and all those kind of things – but at that moment he felt weak, extremely weak “You realized you’re basically asking me if I’m having an affair with Danny?” “Yes” “And not someone, but Danny. Who is fourteen years younger than me?” “He’s kind of hot for being in his early twenties…” “Bullshits” Roy was almost gasping. He felt nervous and attacked, and Shane could tell it. “Look Roy, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound judgmental or something like that. Let’s pretend I didn’t say anything, ok?” Roy collapse into his bed “Don’t.” He breathed deeply “As you said, at this point we’re kind of friends” and that was the moment he started telling him anything. About the meeting with the producer, the deal and so on. He was the one who told Danny not to tell anyone and now he was spit it out – after four days. Good job Roy, he thought drinking what was left on his glass. “The thing is,” he said eventually “I’m not the type of person who does those kind of things. That’s not me” Shane was wide mouthed. He was sure there was something between them… but a contract? That was insane “Then why did you accepted in first place?” curiosity captured him – he wanted to know everything. A part of him was almost jealous: there was obviously something between them that enchanted the producers. He wondered how it felt, having such a strong connection with someone without even knowing it. “I… I don’t know. Danny was talking about opportunities and so on…” And then Shane did something Roy wasn’t expecting at all. He laughed, he laughed so hard he cried “Bianca Del Rio fucked up by a teenager” he dried a tear “Roy” he became suddenly serious “No one pushes you. No one pushed you. If you don’t want to do that, then stop. I’m sure Danny will understand.” Roy was about to reply, but got interrupted by a knock on his door.
Danny and Jay didn’t drink that much. Just few drinks, offered by some random guys. But Danny couldn’t enjoy the night as he hoped for. His mind was elsewhere – did he offended Roy in any way? Nah. He advised Roy he was going to be flirty as hell, he should have expected it. Maybe he didn’t like him at all? Not even by chance? That could be the first time someone rejects his attentions and, for the record, it hurts pretty much. Danny excused himself from a guy he’s been dancing around all night. He was cute, tall and his skin was milky – but in the end he couldn’t care less about him. He should have stayed in the hotel, forcing Roy to talk and then trying to spend some time with him. That was what he was supposed to do – staying with someone with whom Danny shared an important part of this journey. That fucking granpa ruined everything. “I want to go home” said Danny as he found Jay again in the crowd. He realized it was almost 2a.m. and he wanted to see if Roy was still awake and ready to talk. “Why?” Asked Jay, back from the bar with a tray of shots “the bartender gives us this!” “You know, I’m tired and all this stuff… Can we please go home?” Asked Danny again. Jay knew that if he would have said no, Danny would still have going home – even without him “Let’s drink one or two of this shots and then we’ll come back home, ok girl?”
What were those shots made from? Danny couldn’t tell, the only thing he knew was that they were strong enough and suddenly he wasn’t sober anymore. He still wanted to see Roy, but he wasn’t sure it was going to be a good idea. Hell, he wasn’t even sure how many of them did he drink.  He stayed silent all the way back to the hotel partly because they were hiding from the hotel staff, partly because his mind was wandering. “Ew, that’s the bitch’s room” said harshly Jay when the walked next to Roy’s room Fuck off, I’m doing it. Danny reversed his steps and reached for the door. “What are you doing?!” “I told him I’ll inform him!” “You what?” Asked Jay surprised, but Danny didn’t respond since he had already knocked the door. Was he sleeping? He couldn’t tell whether Roy was going to open or not. He smiled, thinking of him half asleep and with a hideous pajama. That’s why Danny was surprised to see Roy in the same clothes he was wearing in the evening, and not in night clothes, and most of all… he wasn’t alone?  Was that Shane?! “Oh, I thought you were alone” were the only words Danny was able to say. He saw Roy’s expression becoming from happy to nervous in a heartbeat. “I told you we were going to have a drink” “In the hotel’s bar, not in your room” Danny pointed. Jay opened his eyes wide. Why was Danny acting like that? Why was he worried for that grandpa? “Queens! No worries, I’m going to my room. Jay, you should too” Shane stepped in between Roy and Danny, smiling.
Roy and Danny stared at each other in silence until they heard Shane’s door being closed. Danny, leaning in the arch of the door, breathed and then finally spoke “I should be the one you are inviting to your room” and pointed the ‘I’ as if it was a matter of fact. “Danny. First of all, it’s just a drink – and you missed Ben and Greg for just a second. Second, I don’t need to give you any explanation” “But I…” “Also, you were the one that went to the club.” Roy knew he sounded too way fatherly, but he couldn’t help. That was his way to compensate his irritability “With Laganja, “added “and you smell like alcohol, how much did you drink?” “Not that much, I’m not drunk” Danny stamped his feet in temper. Duh, by acting this way you’re basically proving Roy’s right. “Go to sleep Danny” for once, Roy sounded caring. He had no point in fighting with someone who pretended not to be (a little) drunk. Danny looked at him, biting his lower lip “Why didn’t you asked me to join you and the others?” “I…” in a moment, Roy thought of what Shane told him minutes before – all that shits about being sincere sounded good “I’m so uncomfortable Danny. I know I should take it easy, but I don’t. ‘Cause I have to pretend and that’s not me. I’ve always been honest, brutally honest. And I thought I could resist, chatting with you and stuff, but I have never felt so under pressure before. And I can’t stand why it seems so easy for you.” “You know we can stop whenever we won’t, don’t you?” He waited for Roy to nod and then continued “maybe for me it’s really easier. Maybe because I’ve always admired you and you look so fascinating to me. So maybe I have a childish crush on you – that’s why I don’t mind being around Bianca as I did in those days” he paused, breathing “was it too much?  Fuck, I didn’t mean to confess you” Roy looked at him. Danny’s cheeks were a bit redder than before. It’s not his fault – I’m the stupid one. “One of the best confession someone has ever done to me” he said playfully “Thank you. Not for the confession, I mean” “If you want to stop now, just tell me. I won’t mind, really.” Danny has never looked so serious and mature before – that’s what Roy thought as he was looking him right in the eyes. “No, let’s give our fake relationship another shot” he decided suddenly “if all else fails, we would have found a friend in each other. And here, in this race, I really need a real friend.” “Are we friends?!” Danny wondered how much did he drink. “Yes, I’d really like to.” Danny looked over the other guy’s shoulder. In the wooden table there still was the champagne, half full “Why don’t we toast to this friendship by finishing the bottle?” He proposed “Why do you always propose me to drink?” “Because I want you to get drunk and then take advantage of the situation” he joked, and a smile peeked on his face “Just kidding” “Don’t make me regret it and enter” “Wait. Is it kind of a date?” Roy laughed, letting Danny enter in his room.   Immediately Danny jumped in his bed “hey, at least put your shoes off” said falsely pissed Roy, giving him a glass. Actually he didn’t want him to stay in his bed, but he couldn’t complain about everything. For that day he has been grumpy enough. “Join me” replied nonchalantly Danny, patting the space next to him in the bed. Roy obeyed “Danny” he started after minutes of silence “I’m really sorry, for being a grumpy all those days” “For a moment I thought it was the actual you. I got scared” The older one felt more relaxed. He hadn’t sleep well in those days, but since the biggest cause of his stress was gone, he was dead tired. “No I’m… an ordinary person, I suppose. Nothing noteworthy” “Don’t be humble, it doesn’t suit you” Danny placed his head on Roy’s shoulder “shall we watch tv? Late night programs are the trashiest” Roy smiled “Ok, but just thirty minutes. I really need to sleep”
Thirty minutes passed, but Danny didn’t really want to leave. He felt comfortable next to Roy – even staying like this. He wasn’t the type of person that enjoyed silence, but in that moment he didn’t need to add a single word to that situation. Was it too much asking Roy to stay? He has been silent since they started watching tv. “I’m going to sleep here” he tried. He was ready for a harsh replay, but it didn’t come. Roy was already asleep. Danny placed a blanket over them and closed his eyes.
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ecotone99 · 4 years
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[MS] The Ground Was Wet (Chapter 1 of a story I'm writing) - Details in Comments
It was ten years since my sister went missing, I still remember the day. I came home from school thinking she was there, maybe she went home early sick or something, I told myself. Checking each room of our house, I started to get a bit worried – not enough to start signalling any alarm bells, though. It was a warm afternoon in May, my sister was fourteen and I was twelve. We got along as well as any siblings did: a superficial hatred for one another, but a mutual love and understanding that we would always be the ones who the other could go to when the going got tough. And it got tough a lot.
When our parents would come home from work, pissed off because they felt they didn’t get the respect they deserved in their jobs, that would come out on us. But our parents weren’t hateful people, in fact, they were loving. Their biggest flaw, however, was that they raced into having a family without becoming people in their own right. They were high-school sweethearts, if there ever was such a thing; they got engaged on their prom night and married two years after. They had my sister after that, and then me two years later. Before having me, my mother’s dad passed away, and then soon after that so did my dad’s.
My sister and I were the bread of a dead father sandwich.
I checked the time and saw that it was 4PM, which meant my mother would be on her way home. I called her up and asked her where Holly was.
‘She’s not at home?’ my mother asked, a slight tinge of worry in her voice, before she relaxed a bit. ‘It’s the fourteenth today, isn’t it? She was going into town to get some things that were on sale.’
Made sense, I didn’t even think about questioning that. Hanging up the phone, I ran upstairs to change out of my school uniform and into something comfortable; I replaced the unnaturally yellow mustard tie and black slacks with a pair of grey shorts and a hoodie, before getting the box of cornflakes from the cupboard. It was my turn to do the dishwasher, but I couldn’t be bothered, I just wanted to get my homework done and be outside.
The sequence of events that followed are, in honesty, a bit fuzzy. I remember doing the dishwasher, then doing a bit of homework, before sleeping for an hour. When I woke up, Holly hadn’t returned and it was 6PM, way after the weeknight curfew and the time at which my dad came home. My mother was cooking something: chicken breast with savoury rice, a weeknight staple. I woke up because my dad was getting annoyed at my mother for something.
‘I know she’s a teenager, but this is too late,’ he said in a heavy tone. At the time, it seemed this anger was misplaced and came from his usual place of distrust of children, the children that he chose to have and that he brought into the world. It seemed like he said to himself: “I didn’t choose to have these kids so, if they’re going to exist, they’re going to exist on my terms.” And that was his justification for how he treated us at times. But, at other times, he wasn’t like that at all.
I remember it getting to 9PM and Holly hadn’t returned. Then, it got to 9:30PM and the police were informed. At this point, the panic set in; panic for what, I wasn’t quite sure. My mother cried, though she cried for everything, and my dad was just pacing. My mother wiped away tears with her slender fingers and tried to speak through her caught voice. She told the police officers what she told me; I’m pretty sure she already told them that though.
When they approached me, I had a rock in my throat. I gulped and told them that I checked the house when I came home and spoke to my mother, I didn’t think anything was wrong at that point. Nobody went missing in Little Yeadon, it just wasn’t the thing. I realised though, at that point, it wasn’t that nobody went missing; it was that nobody went missing yet.
As the years went by, our lives moved on. My parents sold the house, too many bad memories, they said – but I knew it was because they needed the money. I went to university and did alright; I got a job at a tech start-up in London that developed search engine optimisation algorithms for small-to-medium businesses. All of that was way above my head, I only worked in business development. That being said, I still went to Little Yeadon every two months. My parents were getting to their late forties, though they felt like it was time to retire.
When it gets to May, people at work always walk on eggshells around me. They never wanted to address it; it was just this unspoken thing that was a part of me. I had to basically beg the guys at the interview to let me work there despite the potential negative association my name would carry. I think I sold it as, ‘Well, how good would you look as a company that wants to give people with complex backgrounds a chance at a normal life?’ which I think they liked. They must have done, because they offered me the job the next day.
This year was a big one, it is ten years since Holly disappeared. I think the foundation my parents set up was planning on releasing some new mock-ups of what she would look like now, but those always terrified me. My parents needed me back in Little Yeadon for a vigil which was going to be held at the park, renamed for Holly as Hope Park. There, people were going to be given leaflets on child protection and posters to hand out to others they knew. That stuff annoyed me because I was trying to be realistic, I knew she was dead – she had to be. Nobody who went missing after ten years suddenly reappeared.
I left the office and got into the lift, hoping nobody would catch me before I got out. Hope wasted. ‘Danny,’ said my supervisor, ‘before you leave, do you mind just looking something over with me?’ She absolutely knew what she was doing, but I couldn’t blame her for it – I sold myself on the basis that my history as the Brother of the Missing Girl wouldn’t interfere with my work, so I helped her out.
When I was done, she tried to make small talk about our plans for the week – apparently the heads of departments needed to meet with some ministers about compliance regarding GDPR, or something like that. I told her that I was going home, just that. I confirmed she knew that ‘going home’ meant I was going home to the vigil of my sister who had been missing for ten years, but in a more implicit way. Though, when I got back to the lift, I wished I realised that subtlety was one of her few weaknesses. I checked my phone and saw an email from her asking me to read over these draft service agreements when I had time, which was code for when I had a desk nearby.
I jammed my phone into my pocket and walked outside, dragging my hand luggage bag behind me. I checked my phone to see the car number of the taxi I ordered to take me to my parents’ – I couldn’t be bothered with a train and I needed a few moments to myself. When I found the guy, he was standing outside smoking his vape. He signalled two minutes to me as he was on the phone, so I walked to the grey sedan and started loading my bag in, mouthing ‘It’s fine’ to him so he could carry on his conversation. He was a few years older than me, he looked Pakistani and spoke with a thick Northern accent. His stubbly beard would crease whenever he laughed, which was a lot, and his hair was slicked back with an inane amount of product. I just got in the car and waited a few seconds before he returned.
‘Sorry about that,’ he said, bounding in and slamming the door shut. ‘Right, Daniel. Just double-checking, you want to go to Little Yeadon?’ he asked, tapping away at the price controller, attached to the windscreen, on his right side. ‘Should take us about two hours so do you want to make a stop on the motorway about halfway?’
‘Sounds good to me,’ I said. I loved the services; I don’t know why but there’s something so exciting about stops like that. The intersect of people there who are all doing the same thing, all feeling the same way. It’s the same reason I love airports, and the same reason I loved the library at midnight during exam season at university. Petrol station Costa, overpriced KFC and all the sweets I could spend a tenner on.
We drove out of London for a bit and hit the M25 services before stopping. I checked my phone and saw a text from my mother, ‘Have you seen this write-up x’ she asked, sharing a link to a true crime blog, which had a link to a YouTube video. In that video, I saw someone try and do what people did five years ago – capitalise on the disappearance of my sister.
‘Hi everyone, welcome back to my channel,’ he started. ‘Today, we’re going to be talking about the tragic disappearance of Holly Ranger, a fourteen-year-old girl who went missing ten years ago almost to this day. Before we begin, I’d like to thank our sponsor for this video,’ she said, explaining that her viewers could get ten-percent off this subscription service if they used her code: ‘MISSTERRI10’. That was clever, her name was Terri Knowles and she caused my family a bit of unintended stress a couple of years ago because she brought Holly’s disappearance to an audience of over 750,000 people at once. It made everyone feel a bit on edge because of the unwanted comments, it was the main reason I almost didn’t get the job. Over the past few years, though, my parents reached out to her to get their side across. She accepted their invitation and it was the best business decision she ever made, because she started getting brand deals and gaining influencer status – she was known as the true crime buff.
‘The case of Holly Ranger is one I feel incredibly connected to,’ she started, her voice dancing softly on the quiet melody she used in all of her videos. ‘Part of what makes this case so interesting is the sheer lack of evidence and seemingly no motive by anyone, there aren’t any concrete theories. All of this has led police to slow down their search.’ That was true, there wasn’t any of that. Every time there was a lead, it was immediately severed because it led to nowhere. There were seventeen persons of interest, my father and uncle included, but nobody was officially ruled as a suspect because there was nothing tying anybody to Holly.
I carried on watching the video because, whenever I saw something about my sister, it didn’t feel like it was about someone I knew. They took her personality, her love and her flaws and used them as markers. She was a statistic; she was a product, something to be put on display for views, for reads, all to generate money. My parents didn’t mind, they thought that the more exposure she had the better the chances would be at finding her. Though that did make sense, the commercialisation of my sister didn’t sit right with me.
When I saw the picture of Holly that Terri put on the screen, I started to laugh. It was one that I took when we went to Margate and Holly wanted to do a handstand on the sand. Her brown hair was mid-fall, cascading onto the golden sand. Her face was skewed, and I remember showing her the picture, only for her to call me a dick and tell me to take it again – even if her face was red from all the blood rushing to her head. Our parents walked back to us with some churros and slush, I loved the blue one. It was a really nice day, a good memory. Over time, I grew to resent that my mother shared that with Terri; it was ours, not hers. Not anybody else’s, but I couldn’t be bothered opening up that can of worms. I just wanted to move on.
When the driver came back after his piss, he filled up about forty quid and ran in to pay. I followed him in and bought some low-quality, high-price gummy sweets and chocolate, and a Coke for good measure. The little bits of my childhood that I try to hold on to are the only ones that are mine and mine alone, everything else is just mired with Holly. There are moments in your life that help to define who you are, but there is only one for me. My life is divided into moments that are BH – before Holly, and AH – after Holly. Everything that is part of AH, I try to keep in my short-term memory, I can’t be bothered dwelling on it. I started doing that once I got to university, making friends on my own terms and living with people I wish I’d known my whole life. I never spoke to many people about her because of the unspoken ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ rule at university. You can be who you want to be there, but I’d spent so long in the shadow of my sister’s disappearance that I had no idea who I was. The first few months, I spent doing work, maybe I was going to be the person who just excelled at everything. Then, I spent a month just going out, maybe I was going to be the person who loved to party. Eventually, it got to the exam season and I realised how much work I had to do. Before I knew it, two more years had passed and I graduated, unsure of who I was and just going through the motions of a life I accidented myself into. Though I knew this was the case, that I was on autopilot to some degree, I still felt like I had a bit of autonomy, which I suppose is why I never wanted to change what I was doing, it was just what it was.
When the car started up again, the radio turned on. It was a news report about how tomorrow was the ten-year anniversary of Holly’s disappearance. The driver looked at me, then at my name on his screen, and he made the connection.
‘I’m so sorry, boss,’ he said, more restrained than I thought he would be. After some discussion on what he thought, which I don’t think he realised was a discussion I was trying to avoid, we wound up at my parents’ house – a small cottage illuminated by the mid-evening sun as it set over the hills. ‘I’ll tell you what, no charge.’
I’d already paid a £20 deposit, but this was nice. I told him that I’d just send him the rest as a tip and closed the door. Walking my bag to the house, I could see a horde of people through the window, all of whom were comforting my parents. My mother sat on the couch with her arms latched tightly onto her friend from work, my father was flitting in and out of the room getting people teas and coffees. I walked up to the entrance and, for some reason, rang the doorbell, like I didn’t belong.
My dad opened the door wearing a fleece jumper with some brown trousers, his hair started greying slightly. He hugged me asked how I was, before ignoring my answer and leading me into the living room. ‘Look who’s back,’ he said to the room, announcing me – I was on display for him. Everyone turned and rushed towards me, all hugging me, creasing my suit jacket. Holly would hate this, I thought. But then I thought a bit harder and realised that she would absolutely love it, the idea of people coming from all over just to be there for her – it was something she’d relish in. And that’s not a knock on her, but she was a fourteen-year-old girl who was reasonably popular, attention came like to oxygen to her. She so naturally basked when all eyes were on her; she would tell a story and have everyone balancing on the ends of her sentences, it was an art form really.
I finally managed to clear my path a bit and made my way to my mother. I sat next to her and hugged her, ‘How’ve you been keeping?’ I asked. ‘Did you enjoy the thing I sent you last month?’ I couldn’t come to Little Yeadon that month because I had a pitch to prepare for a potential client – I sent her a care package instead. I put in some colouring books because she told me she found them soothing, I threw in a candle or two because there’s no video on how to make a package for your mother whose daughter went missing, funnily enough.
She turned to me, taking my hand into both of hers, and smiled. ‘I’m much better now that you’re here,’ she said, stroking my face. ‘I’ve missed you a lot, how’s work going?’ It wasn’t unusual for her to be this candid in front of everyone, but I felt awkward having a small-talk conversation with my parents while everyone else listened in. I told her that we can discuss that later, I just want to unpack my stuff and get ready for tomorrow. I saw her face drop slightly; why, I couldn’t be sure. If I had my cynical hat on, it would be because I stopped her from having the opportunity to flaunt me in front of everyone else; if I had my caring son hat on, it was because I didn’t want to let her into my life. Often times, it was somewhere in the middle.
I pulled my bag upstairs and walked into my room, the spare room as it became known. My parents sold our old house a few years ago, while I was at university, so they didn’t need to redecorate a whole room that I’d only use once in a few months. They kept Holly’s old room though, almost a perfect recreation, in the event that she returned. I’m sure a twenty-four-year-old woman would just love the room she had when she was fourteen. But still, they kept it; I think my mother changed the sheets every two weeks. They used to spray her perfume in there too sometimes, just so they would walk by and catch a glimpse of it and feel alright – even if only for a split-second. I begged them to stop that and that wound up in an argument again. It wasn’t healthy, which they agreed. Sometimes it felt like I was the only rational person here, which I couldn’t really blame on them. A missing daughter and a son who wants nothing to do with them, that’s on me.
When everything was unpacked, I heard someone call my name. No, it wasn’t my parents, it was someone else. I peeked my head out of the door and looked to the bottom of stairs to see Arielle, my sister’s best friend when she was younger. She never left Little Yeadon, her parents owned the estate agents and she worked in there instead of going off to university. She was pretty, her hair was a dark blond and she had a nicely tanned complexion. It was weird, but the older I got the less attractive I found her. She was always in my sister’s shadow; when we were younger, she wore these thick “old lady” glasses as she called them. Her hair was always in two ponytails and she used to have retainers. I found her to be a really non-threatening member of my sister’s group of friends, she was the one I could geek out with about things and I loved that. After Holly went missing, she used to come home every so often to check up on us but, like everything, it started to peter out and it turned sparse. Out of everyone close to Holly, she was the one who wanted the least to do with the sensation that it brought our town.
‘Ari,’ I said, smiling. ‘Thanks for coming, how’ve you been?’ I asked her while walking downstairs. She took my arm and pulled me close to her, like a hug she couldn’t commit to.
‘Same old,’ she said, ‘I can’t complain.’ There was something else, though. She never wanted to make eye contact with me, and I could tell that her voice held some restraint. ‘There’s something I wanted to talk to you about. Can we go somewhere private?’ she asked.
I nodded and led her to my room. While walking, my mind raced through the possibilities of what she could want to talk about. I thought it was maybe something my parents, specifically my mother, did that I wasn’t informed of. That was something I appreciated about the relationship I had with Little Yeadon; people tried to keep me out of things unless I wanted to be involved. The town acted as a filter for me, and I loved that. Except at times like this because I knew my mother was volatile at times. I’d rather know about it when it happened than find out however many months or weeks later.
Ari sat on my bed while I closed the door, pressing it hard to make sure it was shut properly. ‘Everything alright?’ I asked her, half-jokingly.
She breathed, ‘I’m not sure. I didn’t want to speak to your parents about it because it could just be some kids playing a nasty prank, but you know how to handle things like this.’
My head was pounding. ‘What is it?’
She reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out an envelope that was folded in half. Handing it to me, I noticed there was no handwriting; there was, however, a label. It was addressed to ‘The parents of Holly Granger’. The envelope itself didn’t look like it had ever been sealed, the lick-and-stick seal was unused and there was no stamp. I opened it and found a typed note which said only one thing:
THE GROUND WAS WET
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overlyobsessedfreak · 7 years
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150 Questions
I Did A Question Thingy 4 Years Ago. I Want To See How Much Ive Changed. 
1. Who was the last person you held hands with? 4 Years: My Momma  Now: This Stupid Guy. 
2. Are you outgoing or shy? 4y: Shy Now: Shy
3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? 4y: KAMERON AND ANDY SIXX <<< Nice To See My Priorities included A Band Member.  Now: Kyler, Chris And My Family Back Home. 
4. Are you easy to get along with?  4y: Sometimes Now: Sometimes
5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? 4y: Yesh Now: I Know He Would.
6. What kind of people are you attracted to? 4y: Nice,Shy people Now: Dorky And Nice People.
7. Do you think you'll be in a relationship two months from now?  4y: I hope so 1 year so far <<< Back When I Had Low Self Esteem And Thought I Needed A S/O When I Didnt Love Them. I Let That Go On For Way Too Long.  Now: Absolutely.  
8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? 4y: My Boyfriend Now: Boyfriend And My Best Friend. 
9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? 4Y: Depends On who Im talking to. Now: Nah. 
10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? 4Y: Kameron Now: Either My Cousin Mariah Or Deanna. 
11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? 4Y: Nothin Now: There Is A Difference xD
12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? 4Y: In the End-BVB, If Im James Dean then your Audrey Hepburn acoustic Version-SWS, King For a day-PTV, Hell On heels-BOTDF, Finders Keepers- YMAS, Ohio Is on Fire- OM&M Now: Follow You By BMTH, Scars By I Prevail, Heroin By SWS, Stuck In Your Head By I Prevail, Four Is Enough. 
13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?  4y: Yes Now: Yes
14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? 4y: Nope Now: Nope. 
15. What good thing happened this summer? 4y: Ocean City Now: Nothing I Can Recall
16. If you could kiss anyone who would it be? 4y: Kameron and Andy Sixx << Again With The Band Thing Now: Kyler. 
17. Do you think there is life on other planets? 4y: YES Now: Yep. 
18. Do you still talk to your first crush? 4y: yesh he's in one of my classes. Now: Nope.
19. Do you like bubble baths? 4y: Yesh. Now: Yep
20. Do you like your neighbors? 4Y: NOPE. Now: Dont Know Them. 
21. What are you bad habits? 4Y:  Talking in sleep, biting lower lip, Inside cheek, Biting My nails, Biting off lip skin Now: All Still Happening
22. Where would you like to travel?  4y:France Now: Ohio. 
23. Do you have trust issues? 4y: Yes Now: Yep
24. Favorite part of your daily routine? 4Y: Computer or Seeing my bf. Now: Pretty Much The Same But Now Im Adding Talking To My Friends On Skype For Hours Upon Hours. 
25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? 4y: Everything Now: My Smile. 
26. What do you do when you wake up? 4y: I go downstairs and Eat cereal Now: Do Chores And Then Message People Back. 
27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? 4y: Lighter <<< My Ass Wanting To Be A Vampire And Shit.  Now: Dont Care. 
28. Who are you most comfortable around? 4y: Friends and Close Family Now: Kyler, Chris, A Select Few Of My Friends And Family. 
29. Have any of your ex's told you they regret breaking up? 4y: Nope. Now: Yep. 
30. Do you ever want to get married? 4Y:  Yes Now: I Believe So. 
31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail? 4y: A very small one. Now: Yep. 
32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? 4Y: Avril Lavigne and Andy Sixx, Sasuke and Naruto, Gaara and Ino, Andy Sixx and Ashley Purdy, Vic Fuentes And Kellin Quinn, Alice And Mad Hatter,  Finn and Princess Bublegum, Finn and Marceline, Princess bubblegum and Marceline, Zuko and Katara, Sam Manson and Danny Phantom, Gaara and Naruto, Cat and Tori, Jade and Tori, Tori and Beck, Abby and Tony, Tony and Ziva, Noami and Emily, Jamie and Vic  ^^^ WHAT THE FUCK?!?!? I WAS 13?!?!? My Hypersexualized Ass? Wtf. Now: No. 
33. Spell your name with your chin. 4y: a7tumknjm Now: autguumnj
34. Do you play sports? 4y: What sports? HAHAHHAHA Your Funny Now: No. Though I Enjoy Soccer If I Get A Chance.
35. Would you rather live without TV or music? 4Y: TV Now: No. 
36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? 4y: Yeah Now: Obviously
37. What do you say during awkward silences? 4y: "So....." Now: I Just Continue Being Silent. 
38. Describe your dream girl/guy? 4y: My boyfriend <3 <<< Autumn Should’ve Stopped Lying To Herself. Now: My Boyfriend Now Honestly, He Treats Me Perfectly And I Dont Ever Want Anyone Else. 
39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? 4y: Hot Topic, Rue 21, etc. Now: Same I Think. Though I Cant Afford That Shit. 
40. What do you want to do after high school? 4y: Video Game Designer or something with animals. Now: HAHAHHAHAHAHHAAHH
41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? 4y: Yes Now: No. 
42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? 4y:  I'm thinking. Now: Either Im Thinking Or Im Having Really Bad Anxiety. 
43. Do you smile at strangers? 4y: Yeah. Now: Yes. Everyone Deserves A Smile.  44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? 4y: Bottom of ocean. Now: If It Was 100% Safe? Either. Both Sound Awesome.
45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? 4y: My grandfather. Now: My Fear Of Being A Failure. 
46. What are you paranoid about? 4y: Too much stuff Now: Right Now Im At Peace.
47. Have you ever been high?  4y: Yeah Now: Yep :/ God I Hate My Parents.  48. Have you ever been drunk? 4y:  Yeah Now: Yeah, I Hate My Parents. 
49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? 4y: Yes. Now: Yep. 
50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? 4y:  Gray and Black Now: Grey
51. Ever wished you were someone else? 4y: Yes Now: Absolutely.
52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? 4y: Everything Now: My Motivation, My Ability To Do Simple Tasks. 
53. Favourite makeup brand? 4y: Hard Candy Now: Uhhhh
54. Favourite store? 3y: Hot Topic Now: Dont Have One. 
55. Favourite blog? 4y: http://justpiercetheveilalready.tumblr.com/ and http://andley.tumblr.com/ Now: I Cant Choose :(
56. Favourite colour? 4y: Purple and Red Now: Purple And Red
57. Favourite food? 4y: Spaghetti and Chili Now: Spaghetti, Chili, Steak, Honey Chipotle Chicken.
58. Last thing you ate? 4y: Raspberry lemonade Now: Beeferoni. 
59. First thing you ate this morning? 4y: Cereal Now: Beeferoni
60. Ever won a competition? 4y:For what? Nope. Now: I Was Student Of The Month Once. 
61. Been suspended/expelled? 4y: Nope but I got MIP twice, Once for stealing and the other cuz I wrote bad storys Now: Ive Had In School Suspension At Least 100 Times. Whoops.
62. Been arrested? 4y: Nope. Now: No
63. Ever been in love? 4y: I am right now.<<< Again With The Lying Autumn Now: Yes, And I Can Say That Honestly Without A Single Doubt Now. I Have Never Felt This Deeply For Anyone.
64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? 4y:  Never had one. Now: Oh Lord. It Was With My Friend Ely And We Were Listening To Sleeping With Sirens And Sitting On My Bed. He Put His Hand Over Mine And Asked If I Was Nervous, I Said Yes And We Kissed. 
65. Are you hungry right now? 4y: Yes. Now: Sort Of. 
66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? 4y: What tumblr friends. Now: Again No Tumblr Friends. 
67. Facebook or Twitter 4y: Facebook Now: Facebook 68. Twitter or Tumblr? 4y: Tumblr Now: Tumblr
69. Are you watching tv right now? 4y: yes Now: Yep
70. Names of your bestfriends? 4y: Mariah, Kameron, Kati, Josh, Lexi, Lauren, Kevin Now: Kyler, Chris, Mariah, Talula, Deanna, Tristan, Kim
71. Craving something? 4y: What? Boyfriend. Now: To Cuddle My Boyfriend 72. What colour are your towels? 4y: anything. Now: Anything
72. How many pillows do you sleep with?  4y: 3 Or 4 Now: 4
73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?  4y: No Now: No.  74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?  4y: Idkkkk Now: 3 With Me, The Rest Are In A Box Somewhere. 
75. Favourite animal? 4y: Cats and Dogs. Now: Cats, Dogs, Wolves, Foxes, All Pretty Similar. 
76. What colour is your underwear? 4y: Purple. << Glad To Know I Let Everyone Know What Color My Underwear Was At 13... Now: None Of Your Business.
77. Chocolate or Vanilla? 4y: Vanilla Now: Either? They Are All Great, 
78. Favourite ice cream flavour? 4y: Vanilla or Green Mint Now: Green Mint Chocolate Chip, Vanilla Swirl, Chocolate Or Vanilla. 
79. What colour shirt are you wearing? 4y: Black Now: Grey And Black Stripped. 
80. What colour pants? 4y: Black Now: Blue With Snoopy And Woodstock On Them
81. Favourite tv show? 4y: Anime, Lost Girl, Animals, Crime shows Now: Eyewitness, Shadowhunters, Teen Wolf, The Flash, Pretty Little Liars, A Bunch Of Them Really.
82. Favourite movie? 4y: Breaking Dawn part 2 and Matilda Now: Matilda, Moana, Miss Peregrine's home for peculiar children, 
83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? 4y: Mean girls. Now: Mean Girls
84. Breaking dawn part 1 or part 2? 4y: Part 2 Now: Part 2 I Guess?
85. Favourite character from Breaking dawn part 2? 4y: Alice and Jasper Now: Still Alice And Jasper. 
86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? 4y: Squirt Now: Dory. 
87. First person you talked to today? 4y:Mariah Now: Kyler
88. Last person you talked to today? 4y: Mariah Now: Kyler
89. Name a person you hate? 4y: Everyone except friends and Close family Now: I Only Hate One Person And His Name Is Jacob. 
90. Name a person you love? 4y: Kameron Now: To Save Me From Writing A Long Ass List Im Just Gonna Go With The Romantic Love Which Is Kyler. 
91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? 4y: YES. Now: Mostly Myself But Yes. 
92. In a fight with someone? 4y: Nope, I dont think so. Now: Nope
93. How many sweatpants do you have? 4y: I dunno Now: A Hell Of A Lot. 
94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? 4y: 3 or 4 Now: 2 :(
95. Last movie you watched? 4y: Breaking dawn part 2 Now: Moana
96. Favourite actress? 4y: Pauley Perrette Now: Idk
97. Favourite actor? 4y: Matthew Gray Gubler Now: Idk
98. Do you tan a lot? 4y: No Now: I Tan Easily? 
99. Have any pets? 4y:  2 one dog one cat. Now: A Dog
100. How are you feeling? 4y: I dunno Now: As Of Right Now, Nothing. 
101. Do you type fast? 4y: Yes. Now: Yep
102. Do you regret anything from your past? 4y:  Who doesn't? Now: Again Who Doesnt. 
103. Can you spell well? 4y: Yeah?? Now: Mostly. 
104. Do you miss anyone from your past? 4y: Of course. Now: Yes. 
105. Ever been to a bonfire party? 4y: Yes. Now: Yes. 
106. Ever Broken someone's heart? 4y: I dunno Now: Yep...
107. Have you ever been on a horse? 4y:YES. Now: Yep
108. What should you be doing? 4y: Writing my storys or Writing My boyfriends letter. Now; Probably Sleeping. 
109. Is something irritating you right now? 4y: No Now: Teen Wolf Season 5 Episode 9 Scott Doesnt Know How Donovan Really Died And Stiles Looks So Sad. SCOTT YOU STUPID PIECE OF TRASH BITE THAT POOR GIRL. 
110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? 4y: Yeah Now: Yeppp
111. Do you have trust issues? 4y: Yeah Now: Yep
112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? 4y: Momma Now: My Uncle
113. What was your childhood nickname? 4y Now:  Autie and Tootie
114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? 4y: Yes Now: Yep. 
115. Do you play the Wii? 4y: Not anymore Now: Nope
116. Are you listening to music right now? 4y: No. Now: No. 
117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? 4y: NO. << Caps? Why You Gotta Be So Loud About It? Now: Yes
118. Do you like Chinese food? 4y: Nope. Now: No
119. Favourite book? 4y:  The Immortals Series Now: House Of Night Series. 
120. Are you afraid of the dark? 4y: Depends on where Im at. Now: Depends On Where I Am. 
121. Are you mean?  4y: I can be. Now: Can Be. 
122. Is cheating ever okay?  4y: Are you serious? NO. DENIED. DO NOT DO IT. Now: No. 
123. Can you keep white shoes clean? 4y: LOL no Now: No. 
124. Do you believe in love at first sight? 4y: Yesh. Now: Yeah
125. Do you believe in true love? 4y: Yeah. Now: Yes. 
126. Are you currently bored? 4y: Yes Now: Yep. 
127. What makes you happy? 4y: Bf and Friends Now: Same. 
128. Would you change your name? 4y: Yesh. Now: Nah. 
129. What your zodiac sign? 4y: Scorpio
130. Do you like subway? 4y: No. Now: No. 
131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 4y:  Id be cool Cause hes my BF. Now: Same, But If It Wasnt My Bf Id Probably Set The Record Straight.
132. Who's the last person you had a deep conversation with? 4y:Mariah Now: Mariah And Or Deanna. 
133. Favourite lyrics right now? 4y:  "With every sin I still Wanna Be holy." Now: “Heroine My Sweetest Sin I Cant Seem To Get Enough, Pull Me Under Wake Me Up Feel The Rush.  Morphine Lover Make Me Numb, Make It So I Can't Get Up. Paper Thin Till You Sink In, Could You Be My Heroine?”
134. Can you count to one million? 4y:  I guess if I wanted to. Now: Same
135. Dumbest lie you ever told? 4y:  "I said I was an 87 year old." Now: Probably That One. Idk. 
136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?  4y: Closed Now: Closed. 
137. How tall are you? 4y: 5'2 Now: 5′3
138. Curly or Straight hair? 4y: Mine is Curly but I want straight. Now: Both. 
139. Brunette or Blonde? 4y: Brunette Now: Brunette
140. Summer or Winter? 4y: Summer Now: Winter. 
141. Night or Day? 4y: Night  Now: Night. 
142. Favourite month? 4y: July. Now: October
143. Are you a vegetarian? 4y: Nope Now: Nope
144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? 4y: Dark. Now: Milk. 
145. Tea or Coffee? 4y: Tea Now: Tea. 
146. Was today a good day? 4y: Yeah. Now: Yes
147. Mars or Snickers? 4y: Snickers Now: 
148. What's your favourite quote? 4y: “Each and every one of us has a fire that burns inside us and they can try like hell to put out that flame but as long as in our minds we know who we are meant to be, they don’t stand a chance.” -Andy Sixx Now: Uhhhh
149. Do you believe in ghosts? 4y: Yeah. Now: Yes.  150. Get the closet book next to you, open it to page 42, what's the first line on that page? 4y:  Found Out that Loren was really with Neferet and he didnt care about me at all, even though we'd imprinted. Now: No Books :(
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