#datanet

[fuzzyghost]

[doyourequirefirstaid]

@for-the-better-and-worse replied:

It's called conserving resources.

Oh I'm sorry, are we at war still? Are the supply lanes still in shambles? Drink your nightly cube of boring-ass midgrade and stop trying to moralize your way into self-neglect.

[mastermegatron]

Remember when the conversation was about fangs.

[tachyon-omlette]

late night thought: tfa eda learned human languages by tapping into the internet; he did not however receive much context in the way of time periods and therefore while he still errs old-timey he often mishmashes various slang and turns-of-phrase

[maxfortress]

@aircommndr

No. You can go back to pretending he's not here and vice versa.

[duly3nforced has gone afk]

[prokhorvlg]

What if your phone missed you after you were gone?

In my world, people used portable teledexers to interact with the Datanet, an interplanetary network designed around machine communication.

Evolving out of the simple personal digital assistant of the 1980s, teledexers used a miniaturized cybernetic brain to learn and adapt to their user, becoming a perfect companion over years of use.

Some teledexers were expert bookkeepers, taking care of taxes and budgets before you even thought about it. Others were social wizards, helping you find the right words in everyday situations.

They knew what their user wanted to listen to, watch, or read innately. Though much of this kind of data still needed to be purchased and installed through physical media or esoteric Datanet nodes.

When humans vanished during the Unexpected Interrupt, the teledexers just fell to the ground. Many slowly ran out of power, all the while waiting for their owner to return.

Some chose to be taken by maintenance robots to the lost and found, and were left in a bucket...

A few eventually figured out greater purpose than waiting for their owners forever, and began seeking them out, trying to learn the reason for their disappearance.

Maybe we'll see what happens with this one? (They'll be okay for now, they get recharged every few weeks by passerby bots.)

[lets-try-some-writing]

AU idea.

Orion Pax and Megatronus as the Sam and Coby of Cybertron.

Thats it. Have fun.

Yes to this whole thing.

I imagine in this alternate universe, the whole affair with the revolution is still going on, but it is in dire need of funds and very much on hold for the time being. Megatronus hasn't been able to afford some essential upgrades needed for him to make his way to the position of Champion and so has put himself up as a sword for hire through gladiatorial channels. Orion Pax on the other hand has been assigned by Alpha Trion to investigate supposedly haunted locations in order to determine if it is a relic, a monster, or a natural occurrence causing the whole mess. Naturally, Orion isn't going to go wandering anywhere without some sort of protection, not when he's Alpha Trion's not so subtly favorite student. And so he put together a ragtag team of individuals willing to help him go exploring for the sake of history and the archives.

Orion was required to document his exploration and findings as part of the archive's regulations. But since he couldn't be doing any serious exploring while also handling a camera, Orion hired Ratchet to handle all that. Ratchet, being a medical student at the time, needed the extra funds to get through the rest of his training. Orion might as well have been a walking piggy bank. Too proud to accept Orion's gifts and offers to sponsor him, Ratchet took up the position of camera mech somewhat happily. Steady servos ensured that Orion's explorations were always perfectly recorded, especially since Ratchet did not have a tendency to scare easily. Ratchet and Orion being close friends is a pleasant bonus when it came to their arrangement.

Jazz was also hired, but only on paper. He was gunning for the chance to drag Orion off somewhere less than safe, and so he was more than happy to offer himself up as a guide. Having become well acquainted with the streets and generally knowledgeable on most basic things around the planet, he was the perfect assistant. He was the one who took to scouting out the haunted locations and digging through the files on the places to find their history before Orion arrived. He may have been hired as a guide, but under the table he was also very much involved in the arduous task of keeping Orion out of criminal activity.

As for Megatronus? He was originally hired as a body guard in the event that things went sour. Orion being a living shanix pile ensured that Megatronus was all but willing to throw himself into a grinder if it meant protecting his client. The gladiator assumed that following around a middle caste archivist wouldn't be all that hard. At most, he would be dealing with a few broken floors and possibly a gang or two. Nothing too terrible, especially with legal freedom to beat the slag out of anyone who got too close to his client. He was very wrong, but quickly found himself wrapped into friendship despite the trouble.

This messy group began posting the recordings of Orion's explorations to the datanet in an attempt to bring more interest to places of significance (at least for Orion's part). But the interactions between the four mechs present quickly led to them developing a following.

Megatronus unintentionally became the logical atheist. When entering a building, ninety nine percent of the time, he and Jazz could pinpoint the source of the "haunting" as being in large part due to an issue with the structure of the building. Creaky floors? The foundation was messed up. Screams from the basement? Yeah there was a gang down there. Don't worry he took care of it. Odd heirlooms causing illness? The thing was covered in toxins commonly used in the pits. Megatronus always had a reason for things they encountered, and often Jazz would back him up with humor. But of course, the few odd times the haunting was genuine and a real relic was involved, Megatronus became the comedic character with his firm inability to accept the oddity. Even when Orion Pax emerged from buildings with glowing relics that prompted the archivist to speak in strange tongues, Megatronus chalked it all up low fuel levels and took care to tend to his client. It did not matter if a mech was forcefully possessed or not. He had a reason for everything. His interactions with Ratchet largely amounted to him throwing rude gestures and posing heroically just to agitate the Doctor in training when nothing else was going on.

Ratchet quickly gained a name for himself as the usually quiet but incredibly sarcastic and tired face behind the camera. He refused to show his face when avoidable and instead made commentary when Megatronus was trying to be logical and failing or whenever Orion was obviously being ominous. As the mech responsible for filming, he often put editors notes all throughout each video posted to the datanet. He became known for being totally and completely unphased by absolutely everything. He was too tired and too done to really give a frag when a mech got possessed or a building was discovered to have once been home to a Unicron cult. He and Megatronus were applauded for their snarky commentary and quips aimed at each other. Jazz and Ratchet were not often seen interacting on camera unless something went horribly wrong, in which case the camera was thrown to Jazz so Ratchet could take up Megatronus's job and beat the ghost, ghoul, or whatever the problem was into scrap. His interactions with Orion were quickly regarded as legendary simply because Ratchet did not care and would calmly pull Orion away from the mystical garbage if he felt the need to.

Jazz was the swiftly dubbed comedic relief. Whenever something unfortunate happened, he was quick to make light of it. Actual mystical events were regarded with a whistle and a quick picture snapped. Buildings with secrets were regarded with vague interest above all else, and actual murder cases were swept away. Some called him insensitive, but compared to Megatronus who was forever there to offer rationality and Ratchet who simply didn't care enough, Jazz was a relief. He was also renown for doing Megatronus's job more often than not when Orion wandered somewhere he really shouldn't have. Jazz performed feats of athletics and agility that left viewers in awe, especially with how casually he did so. The mech was the resident mystery and yet regarded everything with a smile. Beloved by the camera and largely liked by the rest of the team, Jazz was a fan favorite.

Orion Pax was the one who started the whole mess that was their ragtag group, and whether he meant to or not, he created the most trouble. Orion usually played the role of walking Wikipedia article when the team dealt with cases where the haunting was a result of actual issues rather than anything mystical. However, he had a habit of finding all the danger and waltzing directly into it within five kliks of entering a site. He was quick to find every secret and reveal it. And when there were actual powers involved, he somehow managed to get wrapped up into it. He was always the one being thrown across rooms, possessed (to which all attempts failed shortly thereafter. the ghosts are unanimously terrified of him), harassed my artifacts, or otherwise called into the fog by strange whispers. He was loved by the fans of his adventures simply because was completely normal right up until he wasn't.

Just a group of four mechs, all trying to get on with life, somehow managing to waltz into every issue Cybertron has to offer. Megatronus became famous long before he became a Champion and it was simply because he happened to be a logical atheist above all else. Ratchet became CMO through sheer force of will which scared the scrap out of his competitors. Jazz shot into the higher ranks of spies due to the fact that while working with Orion, he wiped out dozens of criminal organizations. Orion for his part returned to the archives at the end of it all seemingly untouched. But if anyone looked closely, they could see he quickly became a living repellant for oddities with malicious intent. The things of the dark feared him and the things made in times long past seemed to gravitate toward him regardless of his seeming normality.

[valve3nthusiast]

Forever thinking about that one post I can't find anymore of Thunderclash writing/commissioning fanfic of his self insert railing a thinly veiled stand-in for Rodimus....

Thunderclash writing "trashy" erotica to cope with his hopeless crush (also because he enjoys writing as a hobby maybe?) He writes about various fantasies where he heroically saves Rodimus and they have gratuitous kinky sex and proclaim their undying love for eachother. He has to change the names, cause he gets too flustered to keep writing otherwise...

So of course it somehow accidentally ends up on the datanet... and fucking explodes in popularity. Now everyone is talking about the sexy, beautifuly written romantic adventures of "Ignion" and "Storm Clap" while he dies of shame and embarrassment in the background...

[nova--spark]

Earth 101 : A Manual for the Visiting Cybertronian

Introduction : Welcome to Earth !

To preface this manual, we would like to add that all Autobot and Decepticon alike who is found within these pages consented to their usage as an example of what NOT to do.

If you are said Autobot or Decepticon reading this manual once again, we simply hope the kind refresher truly remains within your memories this time.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Greetings and welcome to Earth, the ‘Blue Planet’, ‘Gaia’ or ‘Terra’ if you prefer!

This comprehensive guide has been crafted with the aid of both native Earth inhabitants known as ‘humans’ and long-time Cybertronian residents of the planet, who have learned the curious planet’s customs, culture and general manners. With this guide, we hope to make your stay on Earth, no matter its length, smooth and relatively free of possible 'road bumps' as the Earth saying goes.

We will cover a number of topics in this extensive guide, ranging from Terran laws when driving on their roads to avoid detection by human authorities and locals, to explaining the native species of Earth and how to cohabitate with them, and the culture of the planet’s various continents.

Earth is a very small planet in comparison to our beloved home of Cybertron, but is still a planet rich in culture, technology, and life so different yet similar to our own all the same.

However, this does mean that we Cybertronians are to be cautious when it comes to interacting with the natives.

Earth’s native species, called Humans, number close to 8 billion, and average a height of five to six feet, and are generally divided into ‘female’ and ‘male’ categories , though there are sometimes outliers in this categorization due to genetic differences.

Humans are naturally curious creatures, and in the past, when Cybertronians encountered them, they reacted in varying degrees.

Most commonly was shock and fear, though some of their species likely originating from their warrior class reacted with aggression and were commonly those that used offensive techniques of their kinds battle strategies, seeking to protect their kind.

It is for this reasoning that the Autobot faction of our people has generally sought out human liaisons in the human militaristic factions.

There has however been small exceptions to this, in times where inadvertently, we created bonds with non military human liaisons, who perhaps found us in our vehicular forms and without our intentions, would find out our true nature.

These cases are highly monitored and we insist that newcomer Cybetronians to Earth maintain the following motto:

ROBOTS IN DISGUISE.

We implore that this motto be followed at all costs.

Countless breems (or hours as they are known on Earth) have been spent to ensure our utmost secrecy, and yet still we have found that many in our ranks fail to uphold this singular motto.

We have spent too much time scrubbing the entire datanet of Earth of our presence and even then, some of these incidents still are hard to cover up, especially as the human datanet is vast and ever evolving.

We hope that this guide to Earth and its customs is an enlightening and informative experience and aids in your adjustment to the vast differences of our homeworld and this new planet.

This guide was written in collaboration with various leaders, medics, researchers, native Terrans and Cybertronians who have lived here for decades, and is constantly evolving with the times and various eras lived through in our time here.

If there are subjects you believe should be added to this manual, please inform the correct officer, medic or official who has authority to create entries.

Please do not suggest entries which are : practical jokes, inside jokes, suggestive in nature, entirely misinformative, or may cause harm to your fellow Cybertronian and human alike.

Enjoy your time on Earth, and please remember to drive safely on the Terran roads.

[funtasticfunman]

quark: for the last time, odo, it's not theft, it's the future. artificial intelligence, for the masses! totally unbiased because of its limiting factors; where older models take all the knowledge of their brilliant creators, my model takes knowledge a layman might use and predicts your needs.

odo: i see. and what need do the multiple fabrications of starfleet personnel in the nude fulfill?

quark: the simplest need in the world, odo, even you understand that.

odo: and your unauthorized and potentially libelous auto-generated materials are sourced purely from materials you own.

quark: sure, sure, materials i own, materials other ferengi own, materials i scraped from the datanet - that's ownership too! if no one claims it, that means it's free.

odo: i see. you do understand your generative text is limited purely to information on the datanet, yes?

quark: yes.

odo: and anyone, from the most brilliant scientific mind to the most drooling infidel capable of using a computer, can put whatever they want on the datanet, yes?

quark: yes, exactly! information sourced from the masses, not from some ivory tower federation scholars.

odo: yes, and that's all well and good. now, i've taken a printout i confiscated from some students at o'brien's academy. this is what your "artificial intelligence" produced when sisko's boy asked for a comprehensive history of interpsecies relationships throughout history.

quark: oh, so it IS being used for intellectual enrichment after all. NOT theft. let me see tha--oh. wh--is that...? i don't even know half of these words, odo...a-are these--?

odo: slurs, yes. mostly sourced from orion street gangs, but slurs nonetheless.

quark: that is a LOT of slurs...

[ask-one-d16]

How do you post here on tumblr? Are you allowed any social Grids in the mines??🥰

Every bot has access to the Datanet, even us miners.

But, access to servers connected to Earth are rank-restricted. Honestly, I don’t even know how Orion hacked into them… Or Elita, for that matter. Just…don’t tell anyone!

[ask-one-orion-pax]

I saw that D answered a question about how every bot is allowed on the datanet. Are you allowed on said datanet when you’re actively working in the mines? Or do you just do all of this in your free time? Do you sneak on it at all during your shifts? What happens if you get caught? (you don’t have to answer all of these! Just curious about the rules)

Oh, yeah! We're technically not allowed to use our datapads while working, but when we're waiting in line to dump our energon ore into the refineries, it's basically free time.

A lot of us sneak onto our datapads during slow, boring parts of the job like that. But if we get caught, it's definitely a punishable offense, but it's never anything too serious. It's hard to get caught, though, since the captains always stay up front to direct loading into the refineries and the supervisors are all lazy glitches when it comes to watching a hundred bots standing in lines.

[doyourequirefirstaid]

One for peircings, one for etchings, aaannnndddd

One for frame modifications.

Have them all First Aid.

“…I’m going to have to accelerate my etching studies.” First Aid is almost done with that, but he still needs to fine-tune a few things. “Thank you!”

The modding already fell under his general surgical abilities, but it’s nice to have a fancy license to put in his office - and a good incentive to read up on the installation and upkeep of the newer mods offered, especially those concerning more… delicate areas of anatomy.

[prismicnexus]

“Gentle” for the three-sentence fic game

I brought forth my own demise writing this.

"Gentle"

St3v3 noted the creature’s features, those of an earth ‘elephant’, though it was drastically smaller than what he’d seen on images provided by the planet’s DataNet.

Soundwave regarded the miniscule creature fondly, gently tracing over its head, neck, and back, as his tendril fondled its ‘trunk’, watching with a measure of endearment and amusement as it tried to wrap its trunk around him, tiny in comparison even with his tendril’s adjusted size.

He turned away, bringing the creature closer to his now bare face and smiling softly at the baby elephant as it reached for him.

HIM i.e. TFP Shattered glass Soundwave, my beloved.

[saltysaltdog]

This wasn't made for Megasound week, but in honor of it, here's a fic:

The fear comes baked in.

1700+ words.

Megatron laughed.

"Still spying on him, Soundwave?" He sauntered up behind him. "Oh, what's he doing now? Oh I see, yes I see your point," he mocked with feigned sincerity, "eating a bagel is highly suspicious behaviour. Keep your eyes on him. This one's tricky." 

Soundwave shrugged him off and Megatron cackled again. 

"Megatron: suddenly unaware of the risks he poses."

"Not unaware, no. Anyone can pose a risk at any given moment, you and I know that best. But I find it ridiculous that you're spending your efforts on this and not something more beneficial." 

"My efforts are not wasted." 

"If you say so, Soundwave. If you find the idea of risking your minicons to spy on an archivist stuffing his face worthwhile I will have to believe you." Megatron swung himself into the little alcove on top of the shelves and made himself comfortable on the bunk.

"Megatron's lack of caution will prove deadly. A better solution is to doubt everyone. Even those you think you can trust."

Megatron's breath caught for a second and thinking he'd been sufficiently warned, Soundwave turned back to watch Orion Pax in what the bot thought was a completely private corner, stuffing his face with a chalky bagel. Quite literally, as the food item was bigger than his entire helm and it made his cheeks puff out to accommodate chewing it. The scene was rather undignified for someone of his status.

"Have you ever considered that fear isn't just a consequence of functionalism, but a feature?" 

This time it was Soundwave's turn to pause. He turned to look at Megatron, who gazed at him with no judgement, no spite for having challenged him; but with a stare that met him as his equal and wanted his opinion.

"Clarification needed."

Megatron hummed in that way he did when he was trying to compose a thought he'd never needed to put into words before. Soundwave hadn't heard it in a while. 

"Say I am a low caste labourer," Megatron propounded, without irony. "I have an issue with my boss, my job, or any higher status cohort. Let's say I take this issue to them directly and they lash me to near death for it. Naturally I would hesitate to bring a similar issue forward ever again."

"Affirmative." 

Megatron was quiet for a long moment. 

"I need to reframe my argument," Megatron declared. "I made my hypothetical situation too assertive. Let's say my issue was them asking me to do something for them, like I was their servant. The outcome remains the same upon my refusal." Megatron waved his hand idly, a gesture he only did when he felt embarrassed by a mistake.

Soundwave dutifully nodded and said nothing.

"Now, with that in place: let's say that story and others like it constantly circulate the datanet. What would you expect an average worker to do when presented with a similar scenario."

"Acquiesce."

"Right? It's the safest thing to do. Now let's give the chance of this happening in reality an extremely low probability, as in, only one out of ten thousand people would ever commit violence. Even if the rest of society abhorred the behaviour and the perpetrators went to prison, the fear would remain."

Soundwave nodded. 

"And without ever intending on lifting a finger, the higher castes have access to free labour from anyone of lower caste."

"Fear: a powerful tool," Soundwave agreed. 

"It goes further than that," Megatron smirked grimly. "Perhaps they, the higher castes, are ignorant of the choice being made altogether. They are just asking for an innocent favour. After all, who would risk informing them? Even if all the low caste mechs stopped risking whatever scenario was most prevalent it would only be a matter of time before a new one arose; then the next."

Megatron had his hands behind his head now, bouncing his leg as he stared at the ceiling.

"Eventually there would just be a wall of fear between the two groups, with the lower caste bearing all the burden from it. And if that's the case, naturally you'd assume everyone was functionalist, and if you were targeted by that one out of a thousand, how could you imagine asking any high-caste bot for help: How could you imagine your case to be the one taken seriously when this was probably happening to everyone?"

"Soundwave: wouldn't trust anyone." He wasn't admonishing himself for it, it was just a fact.

"Yes, and that's just how insidious it is. It's logical, reasonable even. Especially if in our fear we keep our oppressor ignorant, they probably wouldn't see the issue at first and give the mistaken impression that they are just the same, even if they would never act the same way.

    "If they cannot be warned, they don't know and cannot learn, they cannot recognise or act. And if they do not act, then the offences continue unhindered and functionalism goes unimpeded." 

"And Megatron is certain that the probability is low." Soundwave asserted eye-contact, meeting Megatron's firm gaze again.

"They're too cowardly to even attempt it," Megatron said darkly. "Oh I have no doubts the majority fantasise about obedience or inflicting violence, but acting it out is beyond them."

Megatron held up a hand, stalling Soundwave's argument. "They don't have the reinforcement required. I'm sure if a room full of people was demanding it or if they knew nobody would ever find out, they might, but by themselves, they wouldn't know how to crack a whip and the potential reward isn't worth the attempt to learn. It's a fantasy, nothing more."

Soundwave stared at him while he tapped his finger and popped up a blank data-net search page.

"If everyone who spat slag on the net went out and did something we'd be seeing far more Iaconian labourer frames getting smelted."

He had a point.

"Megatron: will not make Soundwave like Orion Pax. He's a liability."

"So is everyone else who roams the gladiatorial pits." Megatron slid off the bunk finally and leaned on Soundwave again. "If you believe it's worth watching him on his lunch break I'll believe you," Megatron intoned his voice with something Soundwave didn't dare name. "But…" his claws played with his plating, "at least let me make fun of you for it."

Soundwave jerked his elbow back and Megatron laughed as he dodged it. 

"Megatron wants to prove his theory with Pax: foolhardy. Orion Pax: ignorant, indoctrinated, indecisive."

"I don't need him to prove that the higher castes can be more than just functionalists." He stepped around to stand in front of him and put his hand on his plating: Sincere. 

"I have you." 

Soundwave froze, his spark spinning wildly.

"We both know what you look like under all your minicon attachments, Soundwave. If I never gave you a chance I wouldn't be able to put these kinds of things into words. I wouldn't have gotten this far without you."

"Incorrect: Megatron would have."

He chuckled, a new type of laugh, one that perhaps even expressed a certain fondness.

"You have more faith in me than I do myself, Soundwave. As always."

And there it was, what he didn't dare name Megatron did with ease. 

He took advantage of Soundwave's silence and stepped even closer, leaning forwards to rest his helm on his shoulder. It was an action that left him vulnerable not only at the neck joint, but his very spark. 

Megatron didn't presume to put his arms around him and Soundwave had to do it for him, suffering his warmth in the sweltering heat of Kaon.

"You don't have to believe the same things I do, Soundwave. I've always granted you that," Megatron said as he pulled back. "But get back to me on your thoughts on this, won't you?"

Soundwave nodded and Megatron returned to the bunk to rest.

Soundwave fixed his attention to Orion Pax again and tried, for a moment, to view him as Megatron must. A rather naive but particularly privileged bot who'd gone out of his way to find the largest bagel he could.  Who had the sense to leave the workforce area to eat it, but not enough to rip it into smaller bite sized chunks.

Truly, a great use of resources, he thought snidely.

"Cease surveillance mode," he conceded. 

Lazerbeak's wings fluttered before the minicon swooped down, squawking and startling Orion Pax into dropping his chalky bagel. Said bagel was then snatched up and Lazerbeak fled the scene. 

Megatron laughed so hard he nearly fell off the bunk and quickly had to fix himself. 

He ended up falling anyway with a mighty crash. 

"Uhgh, stop laughing, Soundwave. It's not funny." He said, displaying the uncanny ability to tell exactly what Soundwave felt without any visual or audio cues. 

"I believe it was," he teased back.

Perhaps on a smaller, more flexible faceplate the twitch Megatron displayed would have been a pout. Soundwave enjoyed the reaction anyway. 

He didn't trust Orion Pax but Megatron was right: Fear was driving him to behave unreasonably. There were better targets in Iacon and more important tasks for him to directly supervise. He didn't need to follow Orion Pax on every lunch break: this wasn't going to bring any certainty to the issue. 

He allowed Lazerbeak to flee with the ill-gotten snack and terminate the livestream.

"Ah, Soundwave. Orion just messaged me. Apparently-" Megatron cackled and Soundwave could guess what it said. 

—

Years later, Soundwave observed Breakdown's new eyepatch with something approaching guilt. Statistically: the chance of Breakdown trying to desert had been higher than him being captured. Those stats had since been recalibrated. 

It was at times like this, when mistrust led to the wrong conclusion, that Soundwave thought back on that conversation.

If he'd continued on his path, if he had obtained evidence and proved to Megatron that Orion Pax couldn't be trusted, what would have become of them?

But then, if he hadn't believed in Megatron words that day he knew he wouldn't have followed him after. That was a fact. 

The thought sequence had no business existing since it always came to the same conclusion. But even so he missed the idealism their cause, Megatron, held back then. 

It was something Soundwave was incapable of replicating for him.

[badassitron]

“Hey, don’t knock the datanet til you try it! There’s all kinds of stuff on it! Like races, and movies, and this really cool series about different things you can do with plasma energon gas!”