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#dead gay wizards
that-bitch-kat3 · 1 day
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regulus: hello, i’m here as sirius blacks emergency contact
nurse at st. mungos: oh great, he took a nasty fall off that mechanical bull, are you here to pick him up?
regulus: no im here to be removed as his emergency contact.
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messer3ghost · 2 days
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Imagine Lily and Regulus talking shit about their siblings
Lily: -and that’s how she embarrassed herself in front of her crush.
Lily: it was her fault really, wearing shoes that didn’t fit her and going down the stairs in those.
Regulus: I actually threw Sirius down the stairs once.
Lily: really? What for?
Regulus: he ripped a page out of one of my books
Lily: valid
*Sirius and James hearing the conversation*
Sirius: CAN YOU BELIEVE IT, TURNING LILY AGAINST ME
James staring dreamily in their direction: mhm
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inmy70schaos · 2 days
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A random Gryffindor when Reg says something mean: James, keep your boyfriend in check. He has no self control!
Regulus: if I didn’t have any self control, I would have killed my parents and shaved my brothers head.
Regulus, with further pause: Do you think everyone just stays safe around me naturally?
Regulus, running a hand through his hair: it takes a lot of work to be this sane
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marauderswolf22 · 2 days
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Sirius: why people like starbucks? it's only a fance coffee Sirius too: So can i have this mocha cookie crumble frappuccino, please?
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strwbi-laces · 2 days
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Marauders as dumb things my friends have done:
Part 2
Marlene: did u guys know that 1 in 5 have gonorrhoea
Remus: there’s five of us here
Sirius: well u don’t have gonorrhoea and I don’t have gonorrhoea.
Lily: Marls and I don’t have gonorrhoea.
*All of them turn to James*
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nubisecretplace · 3 days
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Sirius: you best start respecting trans people's pronouns, darling, or i'll have to make your pronouns was/were
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regulusblackscat · 1 day
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regulus: ouch. you mother fucker that hurt
james: what happened? what? did something happen? are you hurt? do we have to go to the hospital?
regulus: james... i just bumped my knee on the bed frame...
james: *starts shouting at bed* oh... you fucker how dare you! you hurt my husband you have to deal with me! you are going to regret this! you dillwhole!
regulus:*while walking away* what did i get my self into
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silently crying bc i've been trying so hard to not give into my encroaching marauders obsession, but i can't help myself. i have to read a fanfic.
also since timmy is the fc for regulus, my old timothee obsession is flaring up. i even moved my cardboard cutout into my room.
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jazper-hale · 2 days
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*James getting back from a date with Regulus*
Remus:So how was it?
James:It was good, we ended-
Sirius:*Slams door open*
Sirius:YOU BROTHERFUCKER
James:
Sirius:*points at Remus*
Sirius:AND YOU
Remus:Me? What did I do?
Sirius:YOU DIDNT TELL ME ABOUT THIS NONCE SHAGGING MY LITTLE BROTHER
James:HES A YEAR YOUNGER
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tiredoffeels · 3 days
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this is definitely lame
but
i’m in terrible need of people to SCREAM to about marauders stuff bc all of my (few) friends look at me like i’m crazy whenever i bring them up.
and i need to vent.
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4remus · 1 month
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the three genders are literally princess (james), slut (sirius), loser (remus)
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that-bitch-kat3 · 3 days
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sirius: guess what i’m about to get?
regulus, not looking up: on my nerves?
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adharastarlight · 13 days
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Barty, doing his homework: what's sunshine in french?
Reg, not looking up from his book: ensoleillement
James: *appearing out of nowhere* yes, sweetheart?
Barty:
Evan:
Pandora:
Dorcas:
Reg: *looks up and realises* oh fuck-
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inmy70schaos · 2 days
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Lily: I want our group to be able to have more intellectual conversations
Remus: I get that, sometimes it does feel like we are friends with a bunch of children
Lily: well I wouldn’t go that far-
Marlene, bursting through the door: Guys I just convinced Sirius to swallow a nickel!!
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marauderswolf22 · 2 days
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chaoticxchel · 26 days
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sirius: fuck the slytherins
james: yes, fuck slytherins
*three hours later*
sirius, after seeing regulus hobbling and with hickies all over his neck: i wonder who he's shagging
james, sweating: oh yeah i wonder who did it i've got literally no clue
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