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#deadpool incorrect quotes
incorrectquotesmcu · 7 hours
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Wade: I can't have people thinking I spend my time hanging with teenagers doing goofy stuff.
MJ: That's, like, all you do.
Wade: Yeah, but I can't have people thinking that!
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ladylokilaufeyson5 · 2 months
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Daredevil, about Spiderman: Apparently we’re getting someone new in the group.
Deadpool: Are we stealing them?
Y/N: New or used?
Daredevil: Wonderful responses, both of you.
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ungrateful-sneeze · 6 months
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Peter: *bored in his apartment so he turns on the news*
The news: “New York and the world are in mourning as Spider-Man was seen last night being stabbed in the head by pole. The city has been setting up memorials for the hero and-“
Peter: …
Wade: *bursts through his window, still wearing Peters suit and still with the pole in his head* ok, so I know you said not to take the suit…
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Deadpool, writing in a letter: "I'm going to kick.. your... ass."
Deadpool: THERE. Now send it.
Peter: Dude, your handwriting is terrible, are you sure you want to-
Deadpool: JUST DO IT!
later
Tony: So what does it say?
Y/N, reading the letter: He says he's going to "lick my...."
Tony:
Y/N:
Tony: Gross-
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iwannabealice · 8 months
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clint: what do rainbows mean to you?
wade: gay rights
kate: there's money
matt: the sign of god's promise to never destroy the whole earth with a flood
peter: it is an optical phenomenon that separates sunlight into its continuous spectrum when the sun shines on raindrops
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fandomnerd9602 · 1 year
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What if Colossus accidentally fell on y/n from behind as they were leaning on him which the impact could crush them but y/n ends up surviving it.
Colossus: I am sorry. Are you alright?
Y/N: I’m fine. I got Dad’s healing factor
Deadpool: how dare you!
Colossus: Wade it was a complete accident. I did not mean to crush-
Deadpool: zip it Iron Ivan! How dare you sit on him and not on me!!!
Y/N: I’m gonna go now so yeah
Deadpool: and I thought you loved me Chrome Balls!
Colossus: Wade this is ridiculous
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skylarinfinity · 8 months
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[m/n and deadpool waiting for she hulk and daredevil at a rooftop]
daredevil: sorry we late-
she hulk: [look at m/n and deadpool with confused] since when yours suit rainbow?
deadpool: [jumping up and down to show off his wig and suit that attached to rainbow tutu skirt] happy pride day!!!
daredevil: isn't pride month only on june?
m/n: everyday is a pride day!!! [toss daredevil and she hulk rainbow suit]
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brnesblogposts · 19 days
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Y/N: I need a bookmark because i refuse to dog ear this page, do you see anything I can use?
Wade: *cuts off one of his fingers* here you go!
Y/N: What the fuck, Wade???
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thorspop-tarts · 10 months
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Peter texting Wade :
Peter: you will machete through this!
Peter: *make it
Peter: do not machete your way through this
Wade: too late
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pendragon-writes · 1 year
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Friends
Deadpool: I understand that we’ll probably never be friends.
Male!Reader: You can leave out the probably.
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spintergem · 1 year
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Peter 100% edits photos of himself as Spider-man with exaggerated proportions just to make himself laugh. I also feel like if Wade found out he’d start posting those pics but unironically posting in the captions things like:
God damn those thighs Spidey<3
Never seen a man with better arms to hold me<3
Spoder-man got me 😩😤🥵🥵
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incorrectquotesmcu · 4 months
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Wade: Wait… You’re a lesbian?! How?!
Carol: It started off as a seven day free trial, but I forgot to cancel, so here we are.
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deadpoolincorrect · 1 year
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Deadpool: Well you know what they call me. An asshole with a heart of gold.
Negasonic: Nope just an asshole.
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hotpotrandomfics · 1 year
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Percy: What in the fuck knuckles is this?
Khloe: He’s my boyfriend, you intolerant little sh-
Percy: Woah, pump the hate breaks sweetie. I’m just surprised anyone would date you, especially Wizards of Waverley Place.
Ciel, just smiling: Hi Percy!
Percy: Hi Ciel!
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Deadpool: So… I’ve seen you’ve been spending a lot of time with Peter recently. Y/N: No, Deadpool, it's not what it looks like, I swear. Deadpool: Oh really? So no reason for me to be jealous? Y/N: No! You’re the only one for me. Deadpool: Is that so? Y/N: I promise! Peter and I are just dating, okay? He's my boyfriend. Deadpool: So there are no best-friends-feelings involved? Y/N: You are still my one and only best friend! he's just the love of my life, nothing more! Deadpool: But I’m still the platonic love of your life, right? Y/N: Of course bro! Deadpool: Bro... Peter: What the-
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jhirowolf · 1 month
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I feel like we are missing out on the absolute gold mine of content by not turning Civvie-11s absolutely amazing jokes and quips into Deadpool incorrect quotes, basicly everything he says as a reply to characters is such a Deadpool-coded line to me it's absurd.
For example his F. E. A.R. video is a 10/10 in that aspect, every joke is a banger. Just look:
(the names are change to fit Deadpool characters)
Bob: *appears outta nowhere*
DP: JESUS, Bob! Where did you come from? You turned into particles two rooms back, you ok, man?
-
Killebrew: You were born here-
DP: Yeah, I know.
Killebrew: In this place, I was there.
DP: So was I, you ain't special.
-
Domino: Thought I don't know how he survived.
DP: Two guns and zero fucks, that's how.
-
T-Ray: They all deserve to die.
DP: Eh, maybe Bob.
-
Bob: *in an elevator* Why are all the floors lighting up?
DP: Because God hates us and Devil thinks it's funny.
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Bob: *they're being shot at*What are you doing? Hurry!
DP: Trust me, I am a proffesional. AND I got a shotgun.
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