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#dealer!ellie x reader
totheblood · 1 year
Text
superposition. (one)
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pairing: dealer!ellie x best friend!reader
summary: you've never been on a date, hell, you've never even kissed anyone. ellie decides to be a good best friend and teach you how! wow.. so kind of her..
warnings: 18+, nearly every chapter will have a somewhat sexual element to it (this one is probably the tamest?), cursing, alcohol/drug mention, suggestive themes... cheating if u squint
a/n: i want bff!ellie and that's all... friends to lovers??? fav trope. i hope i do this justice and i hope you guys like it... ai audios at the end as usual
"in every universe, you are my dark star."
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You felt like a fucking loser.
Well, you usually felt like a loser, but as you sat on Dina’s couch researching what to wear on a first date you felt absolutely lame. It wasn’t like you hadn’t been asked out on a date before, it’s just that no one you liked had asked you out on a date before. A girl had never asked you out on a date before. But since the cute girl from your chemistry lab had asked you if you wanted to go to dinner with her, you happily agreed.
You were just… inexperienced and although it never bothered you before as you approached the time for your date you were becoming increasingly more nervous. What to wear, what to order, and what to talk about were all things you were not familiar with and you wanted to be, if anything, overly prepared. So you did the only thing you knew how to: Google it. 
Your feet were tucked under your legs as you sat crisscrossed on the couch. From the living room, you could hear Dina and Jesse laughing in the kitchen as they snacked on whatever they had available in their pantry. Ellie was sat at the dining room table with a scale in front of her, measuring and sorting loose flowers into dime bags. This was what a regular Friday night looked like for your friends. It usually ended in Ellie passing around one of her pre-rolls as you watched a shitty movie Jesse had suggested, but tonight you planned to leave early for your date.
As if Ellie could sense the tension rolling off of you from her place at the table, she plopped herself next to you on the couch, startling you from your anxious state. 
“Jesus, fuck-” You looked at Ellie with wide eyes, her green ones staring back and searching your face as if she was analyzing you. “We need to put a bell on you. You scared the shit out of me.”
“I practically stomped over here, it’s not my fault that whatever-” She gestured back and forth between you and your phone. “Is going on with that stopped you from hearing me.” 
You rolled your eyes at her fully knowing she was right but not wanting to give her that satisfaction. “Yeah, whatever.”
“Soooo,” She began, drawing out the sound as she placed her arm behind you on the couch and leaned into you. “What’s got you all nervous today? I swear whenever you’re nervous, I get nervous.”
You groaned, leaning your head back and into Ellie’s arm. You tilted your head slightly to look at her. She looked comfortable in her grey hoodie, her other hand tucked into the pocket. Her eyes were locked on yours and her eyebrows knit together. She was concerned about you. If the reason you were freaking out wasn’t so juvenile you would be eating this up, but instead you just felt guilty. It annoyed you how well she knew you sometimes.
“It’s so stupid, El.” Your voice came out in a whisper almost as if you were telling her a secret. “You’re gonna laugh at me” Her face softened as she offered you a small smile.
“How much do you wanna bet it’s not stupid?” She leaned her head back on the couch, trying to match your posture. “And if I laugh you have full permission to punch me.” 
You took a deep breath and closed your eyes for a second. You knew that she would never make fun of you for freaking out over a date, but that didn’t stop you from being reluctant to say it out loud. 
“I have a date tonight.” When you opened your eyes you scanned her face looking for a hint of a smile, something that would tell you not to stress. Instead, you saw a different emotion flicker over her face, something you couldn’t quite place. Shock? No. Sadness? No. Disappointment? Close enough. It didn’t make much sense to you but as quick as it was there, it was gone.
“And?” She didn’t sound annoyed, but she didn’t sound happy for you. For the first time in your life, you were having a difficult time reading her.
“And I don’t know what I’m doing. I’ve never been on a date before.” With your admission, you squinted your eyes causing your nose to scrunch. The reaction you were getting from Ellie was hard to read and you were already beginning to feel extremely embarrassed. When you finally did adjust your vision to look at her she just looked confused.
“Why did I not know you’ve never been on a date?” 
“Cause I never told you.” You laughed, a downturned smile on your face. “Not really the best talking point.” You were trying to lighten the mood but Ellie’s expression never changed.
“I mean, it makes sense.” She casually said. If you were anyone else you may have laughed it off, but the sentence cause a sharp pain in your chest. Your mouth fell open as you gasped and playfully pushed her shoulder.
“What the fuck does that mean?” Her eyes widened as she realized how you took her sentence.
“No, no- fuck. I just mean like you spend all your time with me. You never really talk about anyone, I’m not saying no one would date you cause obviously I know that’s not true, I just mean… I didn’t mean it like that.” She rambled out, a frantic look on her face.
“Damn, Ellie. Tell me how you really felt.” The smile crept back up on her face as she realized you were teasing her.
“So you’ve never been on a date? So what?” She shrugged, trying to steer the conversation back in it’s original direction.
“So I don’t know what to wear, or what to talk about, or howtokiss.” You mumbled the last part of your sentence together hoping she wouldn’t notice, but she was Ellie and she noticed almost everything.
“Wear that pink floral dress you have, the one that makes your boobs look amazing. Talk about yourself, it’s a date, the whole point is to get to know each other. And what was that last thing you said?” When she spoke to you everything she said seemed so casual, but you weren’t like her. You couldn’t brush over the fact that she just told you not only does she know your wardrobe without thinking too much about it, but also makes a note of how you look in them. How your tits look in them. 
“Uhm-” You cleared your throat. “I don’t know how to kiss. I’ve never done it before.” You reluctantly admitted. Again you expected Ellie to laugh at you, but she just stared at you, then your lips. 
“Well, I can show you.” She shrugged, eyes trained on you. Your mouth hung open, unsure of what to do. On one hand, kissing your best friend never seems like a good idea, on the other hand, you could use the practice.
“I mean… now?” You asked, your body heating up in anticipation. She looked completely serious, her lips were a straight line and her body seemed completely calm. She was the complete opposite of you. She slightly got up and leaned over you as she peered into the kitchen, presumably checking for Dina and Jesse. As she sat back down she took another quick glance at your lips. 
“Yeah, now. Just a quick lesson before your date.” She said it matter-of-factly almost as if this would just be a case of a friend helping another friend. Like she was offering to help you move or something. A part of you assumed you were overthinking it. If she was so nonchalant about it, then it must not be a big deal. Right? 
“Yeah, okay. It couldn’t hurt, right?” 
“Don’t think so.” She agreed.
“So, what do I do? Do I just-” You placed your phone on the couch between you before cupping her cheek. Ellie placed her hand that was previously in her pocket over yours and moved your hand down to her thigh before leaning in close to you.
“Just relax, I’ll show you how.” Her voice came out in a whisper that you could feel ghost your lips. You were unsure of when she got so close but you could smell her, feel her short and rapid breaths coming from her nose. If you moved an inch your lips would be on hers, but you decided to let her take control.
Your heart was pounding in your chest as she closed the small gap between your faces and pressed her chapped lips against yours. Your eyelids fluttered closed as you froze, unsure of what to do next. Her hand that was still resting on yours tapped the back of your hand. Almost instinctively you parted your lips and hummed when her tongue tentatively brushed against yours. It almost felt natural, her tongue in your mouth and your hand on your thigh, but as she slowly pulled her face back from you, you suddenly wanted more. 
Your free hand grabbed the back of her head, your lips capturing hers once again. You were fighting to feel her tongue in your mouth again but understood what she wanted when her lips parted. Her hand which had been resting behind your head for a better part of your conversation had made its way down to your waist and gently pulled you into her. Your chests were impossibly close together and every little noise you made caused her to get more and more aggressive. Your whole body was burning and you were attempting to ignore the wetness that was growing at your center, but Ellie just kept going. She guided your hand further up her thigh, humming into your mouth as you brushed your thumb over her inner thigh.
With the hand that was previously trapped in your hair, you steadied yourself with a hand on her shoulder as you pushed her back in an attempt to straddle her. Both your hands had moved. Her hands found their place at the base of your hips and yours were gripping the back of her neck. Her lips felt like fucking magic as she began to suck on your bottom lip. You could feel a tightness in your core, something you were all too familiar with. Your clothed hips ground down on hers, causing her to gasp and break away from you instantly.
“Fuck, fuck. Okay.” She sighed, leaning away from you and gently pushing you away from her. When you got a good look at her her lips were swollen and eyes red and glossy. You wanted to kiss her again, you wanted to relieve the pain you were beginning to feel, but the situation was beginning to set in for you. 
“I can’t believe you’ve never done that before.” She blinked up at you, her hands rubbing at your sides distracting you. Your mind was practically empty. 
“Was I okay?” You asked bashfully, causing her to snort. All she did was lean up and press a kiss to the side of your lips, before pushing you off of her and back onto the couch. 
“You were more than okay, that was-” She stopped herself as she looked at you. Her eyes scanned your face, staying too long on your lips. “I think your date will go great.” Something in her tone seemed solemn, but she had a gentle smile on her face, and her hand was still hoovering the side of your body.
“Thank you.” You said quietly, eyes never leaving her. 
“I should get back to work, and you should go get ready.” She pushed herself off the couch and made her way back to the dining room table, leaving you sitting there licking your lips just for the taste of her. A second after her you got up too, grabbing your bag from the coffee table in front of you. Ellie turned back around to look at you from the table. 
“Wear the dress, and uh-” She stopped to look you up and down. “Text me when you get home tonight.”
ai audios:
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savannahsdeath · 6 months
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hi savannah! i love ur writing a lot!! 😭
can u write something about reader getting high with ellie and.. you know how some people get high and horny? yeah. you can add more if you want, i’m not really good at writing ideas sorry!
- 🐻
DEALER!ELLIE WILLIAMS X READER
mdni please<3
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summary: you leave your little party with friends in order to visit your favourite dealer..
warnings: 18+!! weed n just smut
writers note: i have another bbf!dealer!ellie idea (the one i made a poll abt) but i still didnt write it and omg idk💔i swear itll be posted soon
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you already smoked, quite a lot, but you and your friends agreed that's not enough. and since ellie, the best dealer in your college, likes you the most, you proposed you'll go for more.
and so you were walking through one of the biggest buildings in the campus, as close to the wall as possible, so if anything, you won't fall in the middle of the hallway, after the curfew.
you knocked on the door to her room, messier than anyone elses. you heard her swear under her breath, but she smiled as soon as she saw it's you. she softly, but firmly, dragged you inside, before anyone could notice your strange behaviour.
"look, i won't sell you anything." she immediately annouced, sounding almost disappointed.
you frowned, looking around and swinging your arms. "why not?"
"you had some already." she pointed at you, your red eyes and widened pupils. "plus, i don't trust your friends. i won't take any risks."
you smirked and playfully nudged her. "come on, i bet i'm the most responsible client you've ever had."
"maybe the prettiest one, but you're far from responsible." she shook her head with a shrug. "none of you knows when to stop."
you looked down, biting the inside of your cheek in thought, before catching her gaze again. "but you know. maybe you could-"
"no way." she cut you off with a chuckle.
you sighed and, without asking, sat on her couch, tapping your nails on your thighs, trying to come up with something.
she was visibly surprised by you - not only your visit, but the fact you still didn't leave. she said no, what else was there to talk about?
"look, you gotta give me a small amount, i'll take anything, i don't care." you replied, desperate.
you knew there's no convincing her, and you already felt the itch of a need you could barely suppress. she stared right through you, amused. your eyes already dilated. your hands shaking. the smell of her stash maddening.
you looked back at her and you knew that she was about to let you have it. but not because you asked. she was going to enjoy this.
"what if.. i'll give you one more." she smiled, rummaging through her drawers. "but you'll share it with me, not with them."
you pouted, raising your hands in confusion. "what do you mean?"
she held out a joint for you, but she moved it away as soon as you reached for it. "i mean, someone has to keep an eye on you. and i know how to, you said it yourself."
"but-"
you sighed and agreed. why not? no matter how she puts it, you knew you're going to enjoy her company, and she does have that good stuff.
"whatever you say, ellie." you replied, still pouty that you had to now share your hit. but you knew she's right, plus, you'd have to share it with all your friends otherwise.
⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂☆
your head was spinning and you were breathing harder. she laughed again as you coughed a little. her hand rested on your thigh, the couch you were sitting on surrounded by dirty clothes.
"feels good." you whispered.
you had weed in mind, but you realised it sounded like you were talking about her touch too late, after these words already escaped your mouth.
she looked at you with a smirk. "feeling good, huh?" her hand ran up your thigh a little more.
your mind was blown and you were way too high to figure out what to do. if that was her plan all along, it was working out perfectly.
you wanted more.
your head was clouded. you were giggling, giggling at yourself, giggling at the world. everything felt so funny and wonderful at once.
you wanted more.
you looked up at ellie and your eyes grow wide as you stared at her. she stared back at you for a few moments. you've never seen her like this.
no, that's not true. you've never felt her like this.
ellie smiled and moved a little closer to you. you could feel her presence and that's all there was.
you took another hit from the joint. and ellie was there to hold it as you did so.
you could feel her lips brush gently against your ear. you weren't sure what she was whispering. you just focused on how her hot breath tingled your neck.
she smiled. she knew exactly what's going to happen next, and she liked the fact that you could barely form any coherent thoughts, even though she wasn't much better, not at this point.
she took the joint from your lips as she looked up at you and smiled, not saying anything. she didn't need to.
she held the joint up and took a long, slow drag as you watched. sometning about it, about how the smoke drifted away when she exhaled, was just so attractive, you instinctively licked your lips. you focused on her soft breaths, making yours synchronize with hers, what helped you stay conscious.
she moved closer and you closed your eyes. you could feel her hair against your face, smell the scent of her hair.
as you opened your eyes, you realised that the world was spinning, and you and ellie were now on her bed. she had her mouth pressed up to yours.
you didn't know how long it's been going on for. maybe you just didn't care. but it felt good.
you gasped, right into her lips, as you noticed one of her hands is beneath your cotton panties. you didn't remember how it happened, but you were glad it got there. it moved synchronously to the rest of her body, but you figured out it was there just to test the waters as she started going down on you with her mouth without actually working with her fingers.
"you're even prettier when stoned." you giggled, not sure if you formed the sentence correctly, but basing on ellie's smile in response - it was understandable.
her tongue laid flat on the wet spot on your cotton underwear, making you realise your pants are on the floor. god, when did all of this happen? you didn't know there's a 'skip' button in real life, but at least you managed to come to your sense in the best moment possible.
"awh- do i really make you feel this way?" she chuckled against your clothed pussy. "i start to doubt you came here just because 'your friends picked you'.."
you hummed, twirling a strand of your hair around your finger. "you called me your prettiest client."
"and i don't take that back." she traced the hem of your panties, before sliding her fingers slightly down and caressing the outlines of your slit, barely visible through the soaked fabric. "mmh.. why does it matter now?"
"i'm just telling you- god." your hips uncontrollably raised, pressing against her hand. "just telling you, you shouldn't be surprised by this," you pointed at the surroundings of your lower stomach with your chin, "if you say things like that."
she finally, slowly took your underwear off, humming a little; "mhm". you weren't sure if it was supposed to be an answer for you, or an act of satisfaction at the view, but either one was fine.
she kissed your clit, pressing her tongue followed by her lips against it. the little touch had you moan, feeling a weird feeling of electricity starting from your core travel around your whole body. you didn't know if it was really that magic, or did the weed made you feel so much details.
she repeated this move a few times, each earning a moan or two from you. the knot you had in your head while trying to think of a way to make her sell you some more of her stuff was now in your stomach, loosening with every lick of her, now flattened, tongue. you tugged on the little bun she always had, pulling her closer to you with every small energy boost you got from time to time. you heard the sounds of your juices flow out, right to her mouth.
you squirmed under the bruising grip she had on your thighs, sometimes moving it to your lower stomach to gently press on it. when she did, you could see a spot in the shape of her hand, way lighter than the rest of your body, on the place she just left.
her eyes would sometimes look up at you, looking extremely innocent, what seemed weird compared to how her tongue fucked in and out of you.
ding!
you thought you heard sometning, but you quickly forgot about it, focusing back on ellie.
ding!
now, you were sure you heard something, but still didn't know what.
ding!
you saw your phone, laying on the floor near your pants, light up. your friends were spamming you, but your vision was all blurry and you didn't see anything. before the screen turned off again, you managed to notice one notification;
luccyy💞: idk about you, but for me, buying weed takes less than one hour
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saeransangel · 1 year
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i will actually consume anything of dealer ellie pls🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻
Summary: Your girlfriend Ellie is a dealer that everyone goes to on campus. Unbenounced to everyone else that knows you two, you've never smoked before. Ellie takes it upon herself to change that.
A/N: i will be h!gh while writing this!! ;) NOT PROOF READ also first time writing smut
CW: MDNI!! Mentions of weed, swearing, r receiving (oral/fingering)
WC: 1.9k
Indica
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You were sitting on the couch next to Ellie in your shared apartment off campus. The two of you had just moved in. It was nice to finally be off campus. You wouldn't have to be interrupted by Ellie's customers' constant knocking on the door. Her stuff was good. or so you heard. You actually wouldn't know because you have never smoked.
You never judged Ellie for it. In fact you like that it made her more mellow. No one would know but you, but Ellie was so clingy when she was high. If she was in front of her friends no. With you on the other hand, she let her wall down and put all of her devotion into you.
The apartment was newly decorated and furnished. All thanks to Ellie's job. You two spent the past couple days putting furniture together and decorating the house, which basically consisted of her building shit and you asking her if the decorations and accents you had put up looked pretty. Of course she said "Yes baby." Every time.
The two of you were snuggled up on the couch under a white fluffy blanket. Music was playing in the background on some expensive speakers Ellie insisted on buying with her hard earned money. Ellie had one arm snaked around your neck as she rolled up a joint for the two of you. She let you pick out the cherry flavored rolling papers special for tonight.
"You excited babe?" She eagerly asked.
You giggled at her excitement. "Yeah I guess so." You laughed. Truth is you weren't really nervous. You didn't think smoking was bad by any means but it was just never something that interested you. Until now.
Ellie brought the paper to her tongue and licked a thin line up the spliff. She finished rolling and set the joint on the table.
You looked at her, ready to question why she set it down. "Are we not-"
She cut you off. "Are you sure you want to do this?" She asked, eyes showing slight concern. "I don't want to feel like I'm pressuring you. We've been together for a year and I haven't minded that you don't smoke, you know?"
You smirked at her and leaned in for a kiss. You grabbed the collar of her hoodie and pulled her closer to you, deepening the kiss. She was being so sweet to you. But you were ready.
Once you pulled away you giggled. "I know you're not pressuring me Ells" You grabbed the joint and the lighter off the table and handed it to her. "I wanna."
She took the two items from you hands and pulled your chin towards her, connecting your lips once more. "That's my girl." She says. "Open up."
You blush and open your lips slightly. She places the spliff in between your soft lips. You press your mouth down on it slightly. You lock eyes with Ellie and she strikes the lighter up. Your heart starts beating faster as she brings the flame closer to the edge of the paper. You kept your eyes on her the whole time, showing her that you could handle it. The flame touched the paper and smoke started to fill the air, the smell of the plant flowing into the room.
"Breathe in slow baby." She whispers, watching you cautiously. You follow her instructions. You take two fingers and take the joint from your lips. You let out a small cough. Not bad, you thought. You bring the joint back and take a couple more inhales, then pass it to Ellie.
She looked at you with wild eyes as she took a hit. "Damn, Y/N/N. I did not expect that out of you, let me tell ya." She laughed.
You started to feel the euphoric effects hitting you. Your head felt light and your body felt tingly. "What, did you think your girlfriend wasn't as cool as you?" You laugh. "I can be cool."
Ellie pushes your shoulder and you can feel it through your whole body. "Cool people don't say they're cool."
"Like you would know." You say, continuing to make fun of her. She has the biggest smirk on her face. She passes the joint back to you and you take another pull. The cherry flavor seeping into your lips. The two of you continue to joke back and forth as you got higher and higher.
Ellie takes the joint from you and sets it in the ashtray. You were not complaining. You were high out of your mind, but in the best way. You finally understood why this was such a popular recreational activity. You felt euphoric. Your entire body was light. You swore you were floating at some points. Ellie noticed you didn't look all there and she laughed. "Damn, you're high."
"Yeah no shit." You laughed too. You gazed over at Ellie. She looked absolutely stunning. Her green eyes were more noticeable with the red hue her low eyes now had. She stared back, looking at your face up and down. She licked her lips. The music that was playing was so right for this moment. You felt it in your body and soul. You don't know what came over you, probably the drugs, but you wanted Ellie. She couldn't just sit there looking that good and get away with it.
It was almost like she had read your mind. One second you two were sitting apart on the couch, the next you were on top of her, arms wrapped around her neck, kissing her deeply. As the kiss deepened your head spun. You kissed her desperately, a soft moan slipping past your lips. She smirked into the kiss, but never stopping. Her hands were grabbing your hips, slowly starting to grind them down onto her. You continued like this for a few minutes, each second your movements getting more and more desperate. You had done this with her a million times but being high just made it feel so much better.
"Ellie please," You whine into the kiss.
She pulls away for a moment and gazes up at you. "What do you want?" She smirks, using her finger to tilt your chin down towards her. "Tell me."
Your breath is shaky with anticipation. You were flustered by her request. "I want you to touch me." You pleaded, grabbing her fingers and putting them at the waistband of your shorts.
She flips you over so you're laying on your back. Your heart was beating so fast and you had a dreamy smile stretched across your face. Ellie took a moment to look at how beautiful you looked with now hooded, red eyes. She leaned down to kiss you one last time before putting her fingers back onto your waistband.
"I'm about to show you the best part of smoking with me." She said lowly. Your heart was beating faster if that was even possible, anticipating what was to come. Ellie began to slide your shorts down your legs and your breath hitched. She tossed them aside and positioned herself in between your legs, her leg brushing against your clothed cunt. A whine leaves your lips at the contact.
"Ellie stop teasing me." You grab her hoodie and tug it off of her, leaving her in only a sports bra and shorts. She drops the sweatshirt on the floor and leans down to kiss your neck, leaving a trail of wet kisses down the side of your neck, down your chest. Your shirt was still on, not allowing her to leave marks on your tits. She quickly removes your shirt to reveal your chest. She takes a moment to gaze down at you, you blush under her stare.
"So beautiful," She whispers. Ellie then picks up were she left off, kissing down your chest. She cups your right breast in her hand and squeezes it roughly while she worked her tongue over your nipple.
You let out another soft moan. The feeling of her tongue on your nipple was electric. She grabs at your tits for a while longer then moves down to kiss your stomach all the way down to your core. Her fingers return to the waistband of your panties. She looks up at you for approval. You nod eagerly. She takes your nod as an okay and slides them down your thighs. Her face hovers over your dripping cunt. She blows cool air lightly on your clit, causing you to buck your hips up. She loves teasing you and if you thought this was the end of the teasing you were wrong. She inches her face closer and presses her lips softly against your clit giving it a small kiss.
"Ellie," You groan. You were growing impatient now.
The brunette took this as her sign to get to work. She was desperate to make you feel good while you were under the euphoric influence. Her tongue licked a long strip through your folds. You moaned as you felt the feeling of ecstasy flow through your whole body. She swirled her tongue around your clit taking her time speeding up and slowing down sending shocks of pleasure through your core. Your hands found a home in her hair, holding on for dear life. You couldn't help yourself from grinding your pussy onto her face as she ate you out. The wet noises coming from her mouth and your cunt were making you wetter by the second.
"Fuckkkk, baby you feel so good." You sighed in pure bliss.
Ellie lifted her head up and replaced her tongue with her fingers, circling your red clit with her pointer and middle finger. "You taste so good pretty girl." She said, eyes filled with lust. You threw your head back at her words. She slide her two fingers inside you and connected her mouth back to your cunt. Slowly, she pumped her fingers in and out of your core as she sucked and licked your wetness, not wanting to waste a single drop. The speed of her fingers increased as she continued to suck on your clit.
You could feel your orgasm coming as you pushed her head further down onto your pussy. She moaned at the way you forced her head down, her moans vibrating through you core. You couldn't contain yourself. You rode her face as you moaned in ecstasy, moaning louder than you have in a long time.
"Ellie, baby fuck." You cried out. "'m gonna cum."
The brunette moaned again, as if to urge you to finish. Her tongue worked eagerly up and down your cunt and around your clit. As she continued to work her fingers in and out of your hole, her lips pursed down to suck on your clit again. Heat was building up in your core and flowing into your stomach. A wave of pleasure rode over you ask you reached your orgasm, cumming all over Ellie's pretty face.
You rode out the wave on her face loudly. After she was done she lifted her face and gazed up at you in awe. Your slick dripping down her face. You licked your lips and pulled her up to kiss you. Your lips smashing together. You opened your mouth for her to side her tongue in, tasting yourself from her mouth. She moaned into the kiss.
You pulled away and pushed her so she was laying on her back on the couch. She sighed and put her hands behind her head, leaning back.
"Your turn." You smirk.
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mystar-girl57 · 1 year
Text
𝐉𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐲, 𝐉𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐲
𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞
𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 || 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫
𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : Dealer!Ellie Williams x Reader
𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 : Ellie has come to learn that she has fucked up, now the question is, how does she undo it? - wc 2.0k
𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : cheating, implied sex (not between reader and ellie), angst, feels, mentions of being drunk, depression symptoms
𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 : i fucking love writing angsty ramble scenes
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Your first reaction to seeing Ellie there was not what Ellie had hoped for, you jumping into her arms letting her apologize to you for all the wrong she had done. Instead it was you standing in the doorway and just slamming the door. Or you tried to anyway but Ellie being her determined and upfront self put her foot in the door to catch it, swallowing the holler of pain that threatened to escape from her throat.
“Please just give me five minutes to explain what happened please!”
You tried to close the door but the gentle hand on your wrist made you look up. “Please,” She whispered. “You don’t have to take me back, just let me say my piece.” You tried your best to stand firm and force the door closed but the way that Ellie looked at you, begging you, you couldn’t help but fold.
You inhaled sharply but backed up from the doorway, letting the door swing open fully. Ellie was surprised by the invitation, she had always known you to be stubborn and surefooted, not letting anything or anyone sway you no matter how pitiful of a display they put on. This worried the auburn girl, had she broken you so badly that you even lost that part of your personality?
She followed you down the short hall and into the kitchen where you snatched the egg timer off the stove and twisted it to the five minute mark. It started to tick and you slammed it down on the butcher block between the two of you. “You’re on the clock. Go.”
Ellie gulped feeling the pressure start to rise. When she had said she needed only five minutes she meant it as ‘let me start talking and it lead into five hours’ but no, you were serious.
“Okay.” She took a deep breath willing herself to not talk too fast from nerves. If the way you were dressed in just her shirt didn’t make her nervous enough, the glare you had on your face did. “We were at the party, I was high and drunk and I know I never drink that much. We- or well no I was alone you were with Dina and Jesse in the house. I was passing out prerolls and Seline walks up—” “Seline?” You raised a brow, feeling sick hearing the name, let alone hearing who you considered to be your lover say the name. “Yes. Seline, blonde, uh boobs? Shit no forget that part—” Ellie was rambling at this point, anxiety taking over. She hated how stupid and desperate she looked trying to explain to you what happened that night. And from the look on your face she knew that it wasn’t working.
The egg timer was down to thirty seconds and Ellie was still going on about Seline. “And then she came back to my place and I wasn’t thinking and the entire time I thought it was—”
‘ding!’
The egg timer’s bell rang out, the quiet chime sounding to sound like a gong echoing out. That was it, that was Ellie’s chance at reconciliation and she blew it. She couldn’t bring herself to look at you and hearing your sharp inhales,she almost broke down right there. Ellie wanted to fall to her knees and hug your waist, pleading into your stomach but her knees stayed locked. Standing there in silence, the auburn haired girl knew that she needed to leave before you forced her out.
Ellie made herself look at you and what she saw broke her heart. You stood there, one hand gripping the hem of Ellie’s old tee, the other over your mouth to keep the tears in and the sobs down. Tears started to blur Ellie’s own eyes and a lump formed in her throat. She had promised you when the two of you started dating that she would do everything in her power to not hurt you, on purpose or other. And here the two of you were all these months later, standing in your dark kitchen at 3:00 a.m. Ellie having to explain why she cheated on you.
She took a slow step to you making your body tense up but you couldn’t make yourself move. Ellie gently cupped your cheek, thumbing your jaw. You were so close, you could just fall forward and you would be wrapped up in one of your favorite hugs. Ellie’s hugs always made you feel so safe, she could be intimate without being sexual, she could be possessive without being controlling. All of her hugs and touches had so many underlying meanings that were meant for only the two of you. But the thought of Selines’s body under or on top of Ellie, connected in a way meant for you two made you refrain.
Ellie pressed a loving kiss to your forehead, “Just give me some time babygirl,” she whispered her nose against yours. “I’ll figure it out.”
It wasn’t until Ellie had pulled away and the dorm’s front door closed, the lock clicking that you let out the sobs you had been keeping down. You were angry, anxious, and upset. So many negative emotions wrapped into one little body making you feel like you were going to explode. Without really thinkinking you kicked the trash can beside you making it fall with a clatter, its contents spilling out on the floor. Your breaths were quick and shallow, your knuckles slowly turning white from how tight you had balled your fists.
A little voice, peeking its way out in your mind among all the red anger you felt told you to believe Ellie. Believe Ellie when she said she didn’t know what happened, that it was unintentional. What she said did make you a bit confused however. How could Ellie have gotten drunk? One, she’s a heavy weight through smoking, drinking, and two she never drinks enough to get tipsy as she said during her rant. If Ellie wanted to space out for a bit, lose touch with reality she’d just like a joint and relax.
You knew there was more to the story that she was trying to explain and maybe you should have given her more time to explain but in the moment you were just too upset and confused to go after her. What’s done was done and now future you would have to deal with it.
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“And then I left.” Ellie sighed looking down into her hot chocolate. She watched as the whipped cream melted into a smooth, rich forth into the dark drink. The warm steam hit Ellie’s face as she was prompted to focus on the chocolate rather than look at Dina’s face.
It had taken lots of convincing but Ellie finally got Dina to come out to Jitters with her so she could try to explain what happened. The two hadn’t had a proper conversation since the morning that you discovered Seline in the dorm. And not only was Dina Ellie’s roomie, she was her best friend, her confidant. She was lost without Dina.
When Dina didn’t say anything Ellie nervously tilted her gaze up from the mug to the woman sitting across the table. Dina was contemplating the information that Ellie had just relayed to her, what she had wanted to tell you. “And did you say any of this to her?” Dina asked finally. The dealer hung her head back down letting it shake side to side signifying that she had not.
“She had me on a timer.” Ellie muttered, making Dina raise a brow.
“Timer?”
“I told her I just needed five minutes to explain and she took it literally, had that deviled egg or whatever it is timer set to five minutes. I had hoped she’d let me come in and sit and so we could talk it out for a few hours.”
Dina scoffed while taking a sip of her coffee. “Well you’ve obviously forgotten who your girlfriend is. She is stubborn.” She pointed the mug to Ellie, “Like you.” Ellie rolled her eyes, “Y’know you’re not being a big help here. I’m trying to get her back, not push her away even more.”
“Shouldn’t have cheated then.” Dina deadpanned, making her roommate let out a groan and flop against the seat.
Ellie pulled her burgundy hood over her eyes wanting nothing more than to disappear. All the woman could see when she closed her eyes was the look of betrayal on your face that morning, followed by the fear when she grabbed you and the hurt in your eyes this morning. It was safe to say that Ellie had fucked up. Even Joel who Ellie had called for advice on the situation said that she fucked up. Now she was questioning how to fix it.
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Ellie laid back on her bed with a sharp sigh. It was lonely without you she had come to learn, the silence was so loud. She didn’t know what to do, she had gone through her social medias, mindlessly scrolling through the endless short videos of dancing and tutorials to stalking your instagram feed. She looked at the various pictures that you had posted, most were of the two of you, some with you and Jesse screwing around at work and others were of the equestrian team you used to compete on.
Ellie chuckled, coming across a picture of you and your horse. The memory showed you squishing your face to Fisaco’s, the horse glaring down at you. That day you had to give the large buckskin a bath and Fiasco, true to his name, was raising hell the moment you turned that water on. She remembered having to be held back by Joel as you tried to get the horse to sit still, she was terrified for you. But to Ellie’s amazement (and relief) after a few minutes of back and forth pulling from both sides, Fiasco finally settled and let you run the hose water along his body while he happily munched on carrots and sugar cubes
She turned off her phone and held it against her chest. Ellie didn’t deserve you, she knew that every moment she had with you was a miracle in itself and she took it for granted. She should’ve put an end to the looks, the touches and flirts the moments that they started. The moment you said something she should’ve made it stop.
‘Should’ve made it stop.’
Those words kept floating around in Ellie’s mind. They were scribbled out in her journal beside doodles of you and broken hearts, etched on crumpled up pieces of paper which had now been haphazardly thrown around her overflowing trash can.
Ellie had truly lost herself these past two weeks, her room was trashed, her hair greasy and clothes sweaty. She had lost any interest or motivation in taking care of herself. That was something you had always done, texting her little reminders to shower and clean up if you knew she was swamped with astronomy homework. Most times though you would just show up and lay on her bed in the background to give her emotional support.
Letting the silence wash over her mind, Ellie almost succumbed to sleep. But then,
‘Thap’
‘Thap’
‘Thap’
Someone had to go knocking on the fucking door.
She ignored it.
‘Thap’
‘Thap’
‘Thap’
Ellie knew it wasn’t you, you would’ve let yourself in with the key she gave you, calling out saying you had brought whatever fast food place you found on your way home from work. It wasn’t Dina, that wasn’t her knocking pattern, and she too would have a key.
So who the hell was knocking at this hour?
The knocks came again and Ellie rolled off her bed with an annoyed growl. “Yeah, yeah, hold your fucking horses im coming.” She flung open the door making it hit the wall beside her with a loud thud.
“What the fuck are you doing here.”
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🏷️: @flo-solerdiaz378 @ellieseater @l0v3e1i @sl-ut @hebrokeimup @siesie2 @yookayyo
© 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫-𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝟓𝟕 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐬
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thecosmosdefys · 11 months
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Dealer Ellie HCs
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Dealer Ellie who will happily do anything to help you whether it be with homework, a shoulder to cry on, someone to hang out with, and so on. All you need to do is send her a message and she will be at your front door within minuites
Dealer Ellie who may be slightly jealous if your dating her, she might want to constantly hold your hand in public so everyone knows your hers. Or she may even leave very large, visible hickeys all over your neck for when your not with her
She would literally drop anything if you needed her. Your on your period and cramping but shes at a party? She will drop the party in a second, sending you a message that shes on the way with a bag of chocolates. Your upset and call her crying? She will tell you "Im on my way baby" and be at your front door in minuites... may or may have not been speeding to get there though
If you don't smoke she would do everything in her power to keep it from you, that means hiding her stash, not smoking around you. not smoking in her apartment so it doesn't smell, and washing all her clothes or designating specific clothes for smoking so that you don't have to smell it
If you do smoke she will 100% be smoking with you. She may have you over her lap as she smokes, even holding the blunt in your mouth whilst you intake smoke. She would also really love shot gunning with you... all though I wouldnt unless you wan't something else to happen because she would definately want to make out with you after that and that would lead to other things
She would love being able to provide for you and would wan't to take you out on cutesy little dates, even get you flowers, and would pay for it because "I wear the pants in the relationship" and "theres nothing I wouldnt do for you babe"
If you told her you liked something, she would stay up all night researching whatever you liked because she would want you to talk about it and would like to engage in the conversation with you actively.
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teenagesublimefan · 1 year
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say it to my face,, prologue
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pairing: ellie williams x fem!neighbor!reader
summary: reader moves into her new apartment, bumping into the irritable yet irresistible next door neighbor
warnings: allusions to drugs if you squint, other than that none i think (see masterlist for series and reader warnings)
word count: 573
masterlist series masterlist will be linked soon
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The boxes were starting to get heavy in your arms as you slowly trekked up the 4th flight of stairs. The new apartment building you just moved into currently has no working elevators. When you questioned your new landlord, grouchy looking Mr. Tanner, who by all means is just as grouchy as he looks, he met you with an eyebrow raise and an added humph and shoulder shrug for extra pizazz. You took that as a definite, don't ask again it'll happen if it happens, type deal.
Your apartment was on the 5th floor, 5c to be exact. And by the time you got to your floor on just your second trip up out of many, your lungs were gasping for air, your calves burned, and you felt just about ready to die.
As you shuffled into your open doorway with the two large boxes you heard the door adjacent to the right open. You quickly put the boxes in the hallway of your new apartment, urgent to meet your new neighbor. You skipped out of the perched open doorway with a smile bright on your face, you raised your hands to adjust the straps of your overalls attempting to look at least half as decent as you could in the moment.
When your eyes met the girl in front of you, you could've sworn the world would stop. Your breath hitched and your hearing started to ring, a fuzzy feeling overtook your chest and you raised your hand to your necklace in an attempt to slow your racing pulse.
She stood perched against the wall, left foot raised to rest against it. She held a tin container and green lighter in one hand and her cellphone in the other intently reviewing whatever was on the screen. She looked completely uninviting yet you couldn't help but stand still admiring her features. Her auburn hair was cut short into semi choppy layers, the splattered dark freckles looked beautiful in contrast to her pale skin. You could still see the soft green to her eyes despite the glare of her phone.
Your eyes were intently locked on the way her slender fingers slid rapidly across the screen, completely missing how they stopped abruptly and her head had turned to face you, meeting you with an annoyed yet slightly amused look.
She snapped her fingers bringing you out of your daze and up to meet her eyes. Your skin instantly became hot and tingly, embarrassment spilled from every pore. Her slightly amused look was gone before it even came, pure irritation littered her face and the butterflies in your stomach turned sour.
You swallowed hard and forced a smile on your face, sticking your hand out for her to shake, "Hi there I'm your new neighbor, y/n". Your voice shook and you knew your lack of confidence was as plain as day. She looked you up and down not bothering to shake your hand, her eyes fleeting back up to meet yours.
"Ellie." And with that she kicked off the wall, torn converse scuffing across the floor as she made her way down the stairs and out of sight. You let out a chuckle and shrugged your shoulders, not knowing what else to do. Putting your head down with a shake you began to make your way back inside to put the boxes in their respective rooms, muttering a 'bitch' under your breath as you went.
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a/n: my first fic on tumblr yayy! this part is short but i swear future ones will be 2k or longer, i'm shooting for like 3 parts but i'm not really sure yet. there will we slow updates, i work full time and have very little down time but i'll get them out as fast as i can. until next time !! :)
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mariefilms · 11 months
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likkle sneak pic of my dealer!ellie fic coming out 🤭
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I need more dealer!ellie fics I’m desperate for it 😩
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ohcaptains · 1 year
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don’t you dare fall in love. 
pairing. dealer college student! ellie williams x f! reader. 
synopsis. ellie tries her hardest not to mix business with pleasure. or, ellie gets a new customer and unfortunately falls in love with her.  warnings. 18+. drug dealing, references to anxiety, sexually explicit descriptions. eventual: smut, stalkerish behavior, violence, drunk/high kissing, homophobic behavior & slurs. 
an. trying my hand at dealer!ellie and it turned into a near eight thousand word fic. planning for this to be multi chap because i’m insane. please comment and reblog, it really makes the effort worth it<3 i hope u enjoy.
Mid-lecture, Ellie’s phone buzzes.
The girl next to her snaps to her in disgust, as if Ellie had smacked her with the device. The lecture hadn’t been all that interesting, anyway. Lord knows why this girl was so infuriated by a break from Johnathan Bailey’s spiel on eighteenth-century food prices.
Ellie hated this class. Professor Bailey had the innate ability to make History boring, when in High school, it had been one of Ellie’s favourite subjects. She was just thankful that she hadn’t picked it as her major, or she’d be gunning to change it.
Ellie leans forward towards the shared desk, and raises her eyebrows at the girl, as if to say, dude, before picking her phone up and unlocking it to a text from Dina.
Hey, expect a text from someone. I gave her your number.
As if on cue, the second phone she kept at the bottom of her bag buzzes. The girl shoots her another glare. Ellie chooses to ignore her. Glancing at the lecturer, she puts the phone under the desk and texts Dina back.
She cool?
Ellie only dealt to a select trustworthy few.
Three dots pop up, followed by: Yeah, she’s in my social studies class. She’s cool.
Then, almost immediately, another text, reading just: gay.
Ellie scoffs. The girl beside her flinches, and she nearly twists to her, asking what her problem is.
Thanks, she texts, deciding against it. She does glance up to the lecturer again, though, but he’s too busy talking about the famine to notice Ellie texting.
Not that it matters, she types.
Though, it sort of did. Ellie always had a weakness around pretty girls, which was incredibly bad for business. She always ended up with slashed prices and a broken heart. She wasn’t looking for new customers, especially pretty gay customers. Though Dina never usually did this, so she guesses the girl must be desperate. Ellie was a generous type. (Especially around pretty gay girls)
No? Dina responds, followed by a slew of side-eye emojis. Well, at least you’re supporting the community.
I supply to multiple communities Dina; my shop is very inclusive.
Whatever, she’s cute. And she’s single.
Ellie rolls her eyes, typing, Why don’t you get with her? and the three bubbles stay moving for a while, as Dina types and re-types her response. Finally, she settles on, Jesse and me are a thing again.
Ellie’s thumbs smash into the screen, When did that happen?
Last Ellie heard; they were on a break.
Last night, at the party you decided not to go to.
Dude, I had an essay to finish.
Whatever – anyway, this girl is cool, so be nice.
When the lecture ends, Ellie shrugs her laptop into her backpack, followed by a half-finished, bitten biro and her battered notebook. She slides the spare phone out, thumbing the smashed screen and slipping it into her back pocket. When she leaves the hall and starts walking through campus, she pulls the phone out.  
Hey! Dina gave me your number. She said I can buy from you?
Then, a minute later. Or we can go through Dina if you’re more comfy with that, idm !!!
Ellie sniffs a smile. She always preferred selling to girls – they were nicer than the gross frat boys she used to sell to. Even if she did grow attached. In first year, she used to sell out of her Dorm. Used to sell to anyone, really – nearly got caught by campus security. If it wasn’t for Dina stashing her shit, she’d probably still be in jail right now. Now, she kept a low profile.
She trusted Dina’s word – if she said a customer was cool, they were cool.
No, she types. This is cool. Who sold to you before? Then, or is this a first?
About a minute later, her phone buzzes again. No, you’re not my first lol.
Ellie scoffs a laugh, shaking her head at herself. She makes her way to the library, pushing her headphones on. Another buzz, Guy I used to use started getting weird.
She frowns, typing, From campus?  
Yeah :/ think he fell in love with me or something.
Ellie slots her ID over the gates of the library and pushes in.
Mindlessly, she types, Promise I won’t fall in love with you. Bad for business.
In the back of her head, she thinks, please don’t be really pretty and funny. Please don’t be really pretty and funny. She reaches her usual table – hidden away under a closed-off stairwell in a quiet subsection – and dumps her bag on the desk, pulling her jacket off. Her phone buzzes again.
Lol, please don’t. Too much hassle finding someone new to buy from. Everything was cool until he started putting love notes in the bags.
She’s typing immediately, Whaaaaaat?
She suddenly feels bad. This girl didn’t need another creepy dealer falling for her.
Yeah:/
Sorry that happened, that’s not cool.
Thank you:) Anyway, yeah – is it cool to pick up?
Ellie pauses. She chews on her bottom lip – a nervous habit she’s yet to break – and types, I don’t have anything with me.
:(
Pushing her lips together, Ellie thinks to herself. She comes to a quick conclusion, hoping and begging that it doesn’t blow up in her face.
You on campus? She asks.
Yeah.
Meet me at the library if u wanna.
Yeah? Three good?
She checks her watch – 1:30. Enough time to finish the history assignment she was procrastinating.
Yeah, she types, throwing her battered phone to the table before pulling out her laptop. The device buzzes again. She glances at it.
You’re a lifesaver<3
 At three, Ellie texts back.
Coming now, lmk when you’re there.
Already here:) on the benches. Pink backpack.  
Ellie spots the backpack, and then spots you. You’re sitting on the bench, leg over the over, and scrolling on your phone. Casual black pants cling to your legs, riding up your thighs, resting tight around your hips, where you’d haphazardly tucked in a blue loose tank. The arm holes are jagged, and as you move, Ellie sees the band of your black bra, and the smooth skin beneath.
She pauses in the doorway, getting a good look, but also getting in the way of a guy trying to get in.
“Dude—” he juts, and Ellie spits a curse, hands up in apology. When she turns back to you, you’re already looking at her. Curious eyes take her in. Down-turned brows, pursed lips, and you lick them, smoothing your hand over your knee. You scan her, trying to figure out if it's her, Ellie guesses, and she goes hot under your gaze, all too aware of her limbs as she walks towards you.
“Ellie?” you ask, squinting up at her. Your hand comes up to shield your eyes from the sun. Ellie ignores how cute you look with your features scrunched together. Professional, she tells herself.
God, she is pretty.  
She tries to look casual. Throws in a nonchalant shrug. “Yeah, that’s me. “ She nods to you, managing to school her features. “Dina didn’t tell me your name.” “Oh yeah,” you say, introducing yourself. You get up from the bench, slinging your bag over your shoulder. Ellie sees the baby blue water bottle peeking out of the side pocket. She registers that you’ve matched your water bottle to your outfit and decides it's best to ignore the resulting fizz in her belly.
As you move, she’s cloaked in a cloud of citrus. Jesus fuck okay. She breathes in deep through her nose, getting another whiff of your perfume. She steps back, trying to get away from the intoxicating scent. Jabs a thumb in the direction out of campus. Thinks, let's get this over with.
“I gotta go to my apartment to get it, you cool with that?”
You nod, seemingly agreeing, but she notices you picking at your nails. The air changes a little, humming with electricity as nerves suddenly wash off you. She doesn’t know why – she isn’t all that scary. Though, she guesses, she is when she’s trying to be serious. She unclenches her jaw.
She turns to go, but you don’t move. “Err, your apartment far?”
Ellie pauses, “Ten-minute walk.” You stay planted to the spot. She raises a brow, “Or we can meet later? If you’re more comfortable with that?”
You smile softly, thankful. Still, you shake your head – “No, got work to do. Kinda need it now.”
Ellie looks you over. Her eyes are curious – she takes in the anxious rubbing of your palms, and the chewing of your lip.
Her eyes turn to slits, and she nods to you.
“You okay?” “Yeah – “you burst suddenly, laughing. “Sorry. Um. Not trying to spook you, I’m not a cop.” “That’s what a cop would say.” “Yeah, figured you say that” you laugh, taking a shaky breath in. Ellie watches you splay your hands out, “I get anxious around due dates. Got a few soon, so need something to calm my nerves.”
A small smile plays on Ellie’s lips. “So not a cop then?” she jokes, and you lose that nervous frown for a split second. She watches your whole face change, and Ellie’s two seconds away from telling you where her stash is, just to permanently rid you of that anxious dip in your brow you once wore.
Whoa there, Ellie. She thinks, reigning herself in. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. She looks around, itching her neck, “Err, so what did you need?” “Just an eighth, I have my own skins and stuff. You got purple Kush?” “Yeah,” she nods, turning to leave, “follow me.”
You trail after her, catching up with a bounce.
The beginning of the walk is quiet. Not awkward, but not comfortable, either. Ellie’s too busy fighting the urge to glance down at you. When you finally leave Campus and get onto the main road, she turns to you.
“So, when’d you mean Dina?”
You glance up, startled out of a daydream. “Um,” you hum, thinking back. “Last year, at the LGBT society.”
Your eyes flick curiously to her, and Ellie wonders if Dina told you that she liked girls, too. She feels the sudden need to tell you.
“I went to a few of those meetings,” she tries to casually add, feeling her heart pick up speed, that familiar nerve of coming out swelling in her chest. Didn’t matter how many times she did it – pushing herself over that hill always made her palms sweat.
You smile softly, and Ellie tries to decipher it. Interested? Curious? She feels suddenly too close, like she should step away. She speeds up, and your arm brushes against hers as you catch up.
“Oh yeah?” you ask, this new shared thing dispelling your anxiety. You walk backwards, a little excited. Ellie likes this new bouncy you. You’re too pretty like this to waste time being anxious. You cock your head to the side, “Maybe we saw each other there.”
Ellie shakes her head. “I only went to a couple, plus if I saw you, I think I would have remembered.”
Your eyes widen an inch, mouth opening, features twisting in surprise. Ellie’s cheeks bloom red.  
“Fuck, sorry –,” she starts, shaking her head, “--that was inappropriate.” Your arm brushes against hers again as you move to walk beside her, and a metaphoric, cliché flicker shudders through her skin. You hitch your backpack up, “I’ll choose to believe you’re just very friendly.”
A laugh sparks out of her. She itches her forearm, and she notices your eyes flick down to her tattoo. “So, err –“she starts, tugging her jacket back down, “Dina?” “Yeah. We met there and had a few classes together. Only really spoke properly this year. She’s cool.” “She is.” You smile, “Said you were cool, too.” Ellie nods, “I am, not as cool as her though.” “You two used to be a thing or?”
Ellie glances down at you. You put your hands up. “I get to ask something inappropriate after your comment.” She rolls her eyes, but burgundy silently agrees. “No – we didn’t. Nearly. But it was silly. Think we just figured that cause we were the only queer girls we knew that we should be together.” “Jesus, I know all about that.” “Yeah, confusing.” “Now she’s with Jesse, no?” “Yeah – back together. But we’ll see how long that lasts.”
Ellie hears herself. She snaps to you, “don’t tell her I said that.” You pull your lips into your mouth, smiling. Why did she say that? She loves Jesse and Dina together. 
The fuck is happening? Why is she vomiting the truth like you’ve put some sort of spell on her? She just found out your name, for Christ’s sake.
“So, you don’t go to any more meetings?” she quirks, squinting into the distance. “No, it fizzled out. When I went, everyone kinda knew each other, now it’s just freshmen. At first, I thought it would be an easy place to find a girlfriend, but—” you shrug, “—turns out they were already with each other.”
Ellie laughs softly, silently agreeing. She had thought the same at the beginning. Newly out after the hell of Highschool, she was ready to meet the girl of her dreams. Ended up getting the worse heartbreak of her life.
Well, second worse.
“So, no girlfriend?” You shake your head. “Too busy, anyway. As much as I’d love a cute girl to cuddle with at night, my plates kinda full at the moment.”
Ellie briefly imagines being the cute girl you cuddle with at night. She’s too busy thinking about it, that she nearly doesn’t hear you when you ask, “So, what’re you studying?”
Small talk, Ellie can do this.   “Physics.” Your eyes widen, “Physics? Christ.” “Yeah,” she laughs, knowing that would be the response. Ellie’s casual demeanour and tatted state didn’t really scream, Physics student with a minor in Astrophysics. Plus, she sold weed out of her apartment. Smart girls didn’t do that. Or they did, and Ellie wasn’t giving herself enough credit.
“But I have to take a lot of elective classes to keep my scholarship.” “Scholarship?” you ask, glancing at her. “Smart girl then.”
Ellie goes beat red. Her palms go tingly. You must be a mind reader.
“Er, I guess?” she manages. “Um – what about you? What’re you studying?”
Ellie listens to your spiel. She didn’t think finding out about someone’s academics would be so interesting, but Ellie hangs onto every word. Finds out you work at the campus bookshop, and she’s already planning her next trip. 
She watches your mannerisms, watches you speak with your hands – watches your smile build and change, face squinting from the Jackson sun.
When she gets to her apartment, she’s filled with sudden disappointment.
“This is me,” she signals, pulling out her key. “You want me to wait down here?” you ask politely. Ellie looks over her shoulder, shaking her head. “You’re good. I trust Dina.” “So, you trust me too, then?” you grin, winking, and Ellie’s so blinded by it that she misses the lock. She huffs a laugh, “funny girl.” “I know – “then you grin, teeth chewing on your bottom lip. “Cute, too.” Ellie chuckles, still trying to put the key in the goddamn lock. “Confident as well.” “Confident, polite,” you list, hands behind your back, bouncing from left to right. “Anxious?” Ellie jokes and your eyes widen, mouth open. “Hey!” you scoff. “Don’t make me give you a bad review.” “Wouldn’t want that—fuck sake, why can’t I…” “Need help?” “No, thank you. I can unlock my own door.”
Can she, though? Her hands are so sweaty that the key keeps on slipping. Finally, she unlocks it. “Fucking finally.”
She pushes the door open, motioning for you to walk in front of her. You pass by her with thanks, and Ellie watches the back of you as you start climbing the stairs.
What was it Dina said? Cute, cool, and single. Ellie’s add nice ass to the list.
Don’t be gross, Ellie, her subconscious suddenly sneers. She tries to look away. Eventually, she does, but you stop moving, and Ellie’s nearly colliding with it.
“Which floor is it?” you ask suddenly, turning over your shoulder. You glance down at her, and Ellie blinks up at you, cheeks red, hoping and begging you didn’t notice where her eyes just were.
“Er, two,” she mutters.
You carry on climbing. Ellie feels a little like a gross dude, and she spends the entire journey trying to rid herself of that sickly feeling. After a few minutes, you get to her apartment, and Ellie manages to unlock it on the first try. But when she opens the door, she panics. Her apartment is a state. She turns suddenly, meeting your confused eyes.
“Um, stay there, I gotta sort some shit out,” and she ducks behind the door. Your voice calls out from behind the door, “I’m not gonna judge, mines probably worse.”
Ellie starts throwing stuff around, hiding it under tables and in cupboards. Thankfully, her living room isn’t as bad as her bedroom.  
Ellie’s speaking. Doesn’t know what she’s saying until she’s said it, “that’s probably incorrect; your water bottle matches your outfit.” There’s a pause before you quirk, “You noticed that?”
Ellie pauses. She scrambles for an explanation, “Er, yeah. I have really good eyesight.” “Right.” “Yeah, twenty-twenty--“she throws an Overwatch plushie behind the sofa, finishing her sentence, “—vision.” Ellie yanks the door open. She finds you patiently leaning against the wall, playing with your nails. Your backpack is on the floor between your legs, and you curiously glance up at her.
“Done?” you ask politely, voice soft.
Ellie’s cool. Well, she likes to think so, anyway. Likes to think that she’s chill. Laid back. Cool as a cucumber. However, there is nothing chill about the sudden panic that blooms in her chest upon the mere idea of you walking into her apartment. Ellie nods, cool and chill and so laid back she’s boneless. “Yeah – just don’t look at the kitchen.” “Course,” you giggle. You sling your backpack over your shoulder and follow her in, arm unintentionally brushing across her chest. Ellie leans back, ignoring the weird warmth that buzzed from your touch. She closes the door, turning to find you standing in the middle of her living room, looking around.
“Um—” she starts, grabbing your attention. She walks towards the small hallway, rubbing her sweaty palms on her jeans. “--take a seat. Lemme –” and she jabs a thumb behind her. You nod, smiling – always with that soft, polite smile – as you plop down on her sofa.
Ellie basically runs away.
When she reaches her bedroom, she leans against her closed door, facing the ceiling. She takes a few rescue breaths. Suddenly warm, she shrugs off her jacket and dumps it on her bed as she fumbles for her secret stash. 
Just a girl. She mumbles to herself, looking through the pre-made bags. Just a girljustagirl, justagirl. 
She’s itching to call Dina. Pick up the phone and tell her that she can’t see you again. That she’s made a grave mistake. Actually, this isn’t gonna work out. You’re cute and all but. Ellie stops. She pinches the brim of her nose. That’s it. You’re just cute. Why’s she being so silly?
When she walks into the living room, you’re sitting snugly on her sofa, scrolling on your phone. Ellie wants to run away again.
You see her and lock your phone, smiling. “Hey.” “Hey – eighth, right? Purple kush? You don’t need it rolled?” “No – I’m okay. Thank you, though.” “Yeah, no worries.”
Immediately, you reach for your purse. Ellie realises that you have to pay. How the fuck has she forgotten the most important part of this whole deal?
She mentally smacks herself in the face.
“Dina didn’t tell me how much,” you smile, expectant. Ellie rattles off her prices, and you swap. She shoves the money into her back pocket and sees you opening your backpack. You pull out a medium-sized white case. Ellie thinks nothing of it – probably somewhere you store your weed, so your bag didn’t end up stinking of it.
But when you pop the box open and stuff the bag inside, she sees the faded imprint of Hello Kitty on the side.
“Oh my god,” she laughs, and you put your hand up, knowing exactly what she’s laughing at. “No judgement, okay? It does the job.” “No, it’s –” she rubs her chin, “it’s cute.” You make a face at her, “It is cute, actually.” “It’s sweet. I’m sorry I laughed.”
You push it into your bag and zip it up, throwing it on your back. You grin, and it’s God Damn adorable, “You’re forgiven.”
Ellie flicks her gaze to your mouth and slowly loses all sense of reality. There’s a moment where she registers that she has to say something, you know – speak. But watching the way your teeth tug at your bottom lip seems far more interesting, and useful, too.
“Um – I should,” you start, motioning behind you. “Yeah fuck, err,” Ellie stutters, snapping out of it. She laughs to dispel the nerves, and you’re both awkwardly laughing, flushed and nervous.
When you’re out of the door, Ellie watches you leave. She leans on the frame and finds herself fighting the urge to say something. Turns out she doesn’t have the energy to fight very hard.
“Better than the last guy?” she quirks, pulling her arms under her chest. You twist, beaming, “Oh – you have no idea. He dealt out the back of the cafeteria, smelt like old socks and cabbage.” Ellie frowns. “Mike?” she asks, knowing exactly who you were buying from. Your features widen in recognition, “Yeah! You know him?” “Yeah – he’s fucking weird. Creepy. Doesn’t surprise me he was leaving notes in the bags.” Ellie shakes her head, then nods to you. Her smile goes friendly. Twists into her cheek, “promise there’s no love notes in that bag, only weed.” You walk backwards, grinning. Suddenly, your features turn playful, and you chew on your bottom lip, squinting, “Awh, think I was kinda hoping for a love note.” Ellie's heart stops. Her eyes widen, and a rush of adrenaline hits her. She wonders if she heard you correctly, then yeah – you definitely said that. She goes to respond – reaches for something witty and cute to respond back with, but when she opens her mouth, no words come out. She manages to make a small, pitiful choke, and you giggle at her.
Ellie melts. “See ya,” you call out. Your voice echoes through the hallway as you descend.
The puddle that is Ellie rests in the frame for a second before she finds the willpower to scoop herself off of the floor and scramble inside, grabbing for her phone. Dina answers, voice groggy.
“Hello?” she groans, a serious attitude in her tone. Ellie ignores it -- doesn’t hear it, really. Too busy hearing the echo of your giggle as you turned her into soup. “Dina, what the fuck,” she spits.
The ghost of your perfume is still in her living room -- orange and grapefruit. “What?” Dina sneers. “You didn’t tell me she looked like that!” There’s a beat where Dina catches up, “Like what?” “Cute!” “Oh,” she pauses. “Wait, yeah I did.” “Yes but, like -- fuck.”
Ellie can’t think. She must have left some of her brain cells on the hallway floor. “Really cute,” she manages. She starts to spiral.
“She was really polite, too. Like, smiley and polite and was like, no worries! And I literally – I literally forgot that she had to pay, Dina. She pulled her purse out and was like, oh yeah.” “Jesus Christ.” “Then she started talking about her old dealer who was really weird—” “Yeah, Mike. She told me about the love notes.” “Yes! Yeah!” she nearly yells. “When she left, I jokingly went ‘don’t worry, there’s no love notes, only weed.’ And she fucking—” she smacks her forehead, “--fucking said, Awh, I was kinda hoping for a love note.”
There’s silence on the other line. Then a resounding, “Oh.” “Yes,” Ellie agrees. “Oh, exactly. I nearly pissed myself, Dina. I stood there, completely silent, staring at her like a weirdo. Please tell me she’s like that with everyone.” “No, she’s quite reserved, actually. Quiet – Ellie, what have you done to my sweet, innocent girl?”
Ellie paces in her living room. The speed makes your perfume swirl, and she has to open a window to think straight. The cool air hits her flushed face, settling her swarming nerves. She breathes in the fresh scent, heart rattling. Her fingers are numb.
“I’m having a gay panic attack and it’s all your fault.” Dina barks a laugh, saying, “If it’s that bad, just say you can’t deal to her anymore,” and Ellie’s silent. Contemplative. Dina knows exactly what she’s thinking. “But you won’t do that, because you’re basically in love with her already.” “Din, she had a Hello Kitty weed box. Like – “she closes her eyes, and whispers, “what the fuck?” Dina turns sarcastic, “Oh no, not the Hello Kitty weed box.” “Not funny, Dina. Really think she’s the love of my life.”
She plops onto the sofa. Dina speaks, “Should I start calling the U-Haul?” Ellie scoffs, “Shut up.” She fiddles with the fabric of her couch, running her fingers across the seams, and then slipping them between the cushions. She encounters something small and hard. “—the hell?” she mutters, pulling it out. She blinks at it. “Oh my god.” “What?”
Ellie holds the stick into the light, reading the bright label. “She left her lip-gloss here.” “Oh, would you look at that. She’s moving in already.”
The lip gloss sits on Ellie’s coffee table for days before she plucks up the courage to text you.
Holding the stick to a particularly clean part of her living room, she takes a snap of it, before sending it to you with, Hey, this yours? and throwing her phone at her sofa cushions, rushing into her bedroom as if it were a bomb.
When she thinks it’s safe to come out, it’s been an hour. 
She’s even managed to forget that she’s texted you, so when she picks her battered phone up and sees a response from you, she thinks, Oh my God, she’s made the first move. Disappointment and a tinge of shame flood her when she realises.
LOOOL, yes, that’s mine, you text, then, Imagine if it wasn’t.
Ellie goes to say, oh no, apart from Dina, you’re the only girl I’m dealing to, but it would be easier if she just wrote I AM SINGLE! on a flag and planted it outside her apartment.
She manages, lol.
Sorry, must have dropped it. Kay if I get it next time I pick up?
Ellie’s heart clenches. She has to start taking turns of her apartment like an Austen protagonist to stop herself from short-circuiting from energy overload. She texts, Yeah, that’s chill.
You sure you don’t want it? think that colour would suit you:)
Ellie smirks, more of a ChapStick girl.
I guessed that.
Her face twists, pausing. What does that mean? She responds.
I wasn’t trying to insult you!!! Just. The baggy clothes. Flannel shirt. Ellie’s texting, thumbs smashing as she responds with, It’s not flannel, just a shirt. Your three bubbles pop up, ohhhh right right, sorry sorry.
Ellie should have left it. Should have gone, well, that’ll be the extent of our flirty banter. But she’s writing, I can’t believe you’re calling me a chapstick lesbian rn. Your response is immediate, Nah uh, you said that! I implied it. No weed for you, Ellie lies. Nooooooo, pls don’t make me go back to Mike. Your own fault. Hope you like ravioli cause that’s what the cafeteria had for lunch! :((((((((( don’t be a meanie!!!!!
Okay, maybe you’re forgiven.
Weeks pass, and you come, and you go. Ellie tries to keep things casual. Professional. Still, she cannot help the excitement that floods when she gets a text from her busted phone.
Hey:) you’d text, I’m tryna buy tonight if you’re available!!
She reads into your messages, thinking, she must like me, she used two exclamation marks. Two!
She gets silly and dumb with it. Overthinks your interactions. Overthinks the brush of your fingers when you took your Lip-gloss from her.
Usually, she’d have the stuff ready at the door, but now she’s finding herself inviting you in, and then sorting the bag, so she could be around you longer.
She starts remembering your outfits, for fucks sake.
Holds onto every little comment you make.
Overthinks every time you brush past her, or every time she opens her front door to you.
Sometimes, she dreams about it -- just the revolving images of her door opening, revealing you behind it. You’re wearing the same bright, excitable smile, every time.
In a particularly low moment, she found herself in CVS at the perfume counter, smelling different samples, trying to figure out what scent you were wearing when you first met.
She doesn’t tell Dina that. She does, however, tell her everything else.  
When she sees you around campus, her day is immediately made. She doesn’t ignore you like she does with her other customers, no. She says hi. Sees you at a coffee shop, waiting for your order, and says, “Hey.”
You grin, genuine happiness on your face from seeing her. “Hey you.”
Ellie thinks about it for weeks. Dina hears about it for days.
“She said hey you, Dina.” “I know, Ellie. You told me yesterday.”
You’re polite, a little flirty, but Ellie thinks it’s just…no. She does think you like her, but she won’t let herself think it’s anything more than friendly. It’s just business.
Then she gets a text.
Ellie’s at Dina's, half watching a movie, half dozing off. 
Dina’s already asleep and has been for the last hour. She promised she wouldn’t, then was out like a light. Ellie’s nearly blacked out, too, and she’s about to pass out when the sound of her phone pinging makes her flinch. 
She’s groggy, so she’s slow to pull it out of her bag, but when she does, she’s wide awake.
She freezes like a deer in headlights. Then she snaps to Dina, needing to tell someone. She grabs her arm and shakes it violently. Her friend goes to smack her.
“Jesus Ellie! Get the fuck off of me!” Dina bats her hand away. Ellie grabs at her friend's palm, squeezing. “She texted!” she squeals, giggling like a schoolgirl. Dina yanks her hand away, “Okay, but you don’t have to abuse me.”
Saw you in the Library having a serious study sesh.
Then, wanted to say hi, but wasn’t sure if we were cool like that.
Ellie collapses back onto the sofa, “I’m gonna piss myself.” “Lemme see,” Dina goes, yanking the phone from her. She blinks at the busted screen. Her eyes widen.
“Oh fuck, Ellie,” Dina whispers. “This is the moment. This is the make-or-break moment.” “What do I say!” Ellie nearly shouts. Dina leans back on the sofa, pushing her black hair back. She shrugs, “depends on what you want.” “I want to curl up in a ball and live in her backpack is what I want.” “I dare you to text that.” “Dinnnnaaaaaa,” Ellie whines, falling back onto the cushions. Dina pushes Ellie’s feet away from her. “Elllllieeeee, you just pulled me from a deep sleep. My ability to flirt with girls is at a minus two right now.”
Ellie stares at the text. She drafts a response, and then edits it, taking out some prepositions and adding some dashes to sound more casual. She comes up with:
Hey, you shoulda said hi! It wasn’t all that serious – spent most of it watching old episodes of the x files.
Dina leans over. Her thick brow quirks. “That’s you flirting?” Ellie purses her lips, “No, this is me being friendly.” Dina pulls back, “I thought you wanted to fuck her,”
Ellie looks at her as if she’s silly. “Of course I want to fuck her, but I can’t just say that.”
“No, but you’ve just spoken about Aliens. My dick is limp right now.”
Ellie throws a pillow at her, “I’m gonna punch you in your limp dick.”
Ellie’s phone beeps. She scrambles to read, Oh my god, which season? I started it from the beginning again a couple of months ago.
The phone is brandished in Dina’s face.
“See – a common interest.” Dina huffs, “whatever, if you wanna go the whole slow burn route, that’s fine with me.”
Ellie sits back against the sofa, readying her thumbs to respond, before feeling a warm flutter of breath tickle her ear. She turns, and Dina’s right there, peering over her shoulder. She hides the phone.
“I can’t flirt with you watching me!”
“You just said you were being friendly!”
“I’m about to start flirting!”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” her friend sarcastically drags, “I didn’t hear the starter pistol to know the race was starting.”
“You’re an asshole, you know that?”
“Yeah, I know,” Dina sighs, resting her chin on Ellie’s shoulder. “But I’m also hilarious.”
We should hang out and watch it if you want, Ellie texts. Then, quickly, totally cool if u don’t wanna tho!
Dina hisses, “Fumbled the bag.” “I’m being nice.” “Yeah, too nice.” “It’s cute.” “It’s booorrrrringgg. Just write, Netflix and chill? With a winky face.” “X files isn’t on Netflix anymore.” “Not what I meant.” “I know, I’m choosing to ignore what you meant.”
Yeah, I’d be down:) lemme know a time, and I’ll be there.
Dina pulls back with a sigh, “The ball is in your court, Els.”
  Ellie doesn’t let you know a time.
In fact, she doesn’t respond at all. She gets busy with schoolwork, due dates, and her uncle, who’s visiting for a few weeks. She always means to respond, but days pass, and she thinks it would be awkward to message now.
Desperate, even.
The cracked screen of her busted phone mocks her. Ellie tries to draft a message, Hey, sorry for going quiet. Been busy.
But she deletes it. Thinks, she’s only being nice to me for a deal. Only wants to hang for free weed.
It’s happened before – it’s destined to happen again.
She’s so overwhelmed with these sudden self-deprecating thoughts, that she starts thinking them in her sleep.
You’re desperate, you’re needy. Why would she want you?
She goes somewhere dark. Cloudy. Starts getting restless but can’t sleep. Starts crashing during lectures, and seminars – in art class, brush still in hand.
One day, Dina grabs her shoulders, just message her. Why are you torturing yourself?
Ellie doesn’t text.
You text her.
Hey!! okay if I pick up?
But she’s asleep when it comes through.
She wakes, three hours later, with the keys of her laptop indented on her cheek. When she reads your test, she jerks up straight.
Yes! She writes, inhibitions suddenly gone with the wind. Soz, crashed mid-essay.
She stares at the message screen for a second, waiting for your response. When it doesn’t come, she locks her phone, rubs her face and gets up to get a drink. But when she stands, she pauses and taps her phone again. 
She even unlocks it, wondering if maybe your response didn’t reach her home screen yet.
The thing about Ellie is --she’s eager.
She pretends to be nonchalant about things. Pretends that the little grin you gave her at the coffee shop didn’t affect her, or the small, smiley faces in your texts don’t give her pause. She tries to convince herself that she doesn’t fall easily. With herself, she’s a little liar. With you, though…
She types if u went back to Mike I’ll die.
The whooshing sound of the text sending fills her ears, and then she pauses, realising what she’s said. “Jesus, Ellie,” she mumbles, shaking her head at herself. She locks her phone, dumps it on the table, and then drags herself into the kitchen.
You don’t respond for an hour. She’s making dinner when her phone buzzes, and she flinches like a startled animal. She manages to stir her pasta again a grand total of once before she reaches for her phone.
Would never!! I’m a loyal customer, would never cheat on u.
Ellie’s belly flips. She stares at your big watery eye filled emoji for far too long. You’re still texting.
Tho you didn’t text me about x files:(
Ellie’s thumbs smash into the screen, I’m sorry!!! classes picked up, I’m swamped.
Your response of, awh, okay. I was waiting near the phone for your message:( fills her with so much glee that it makes her sick. She’s about to write, you’re so fucking cute, when your message comes through.
Okay if I pick up now? No worries if ur doing something.
Ellie looks down at her baggy sweats and coffee-stained tank. She’s rushing into the bedroom to change as she texts, Nah, It’s chill. Lmk when ur here.
When she opens the door, you’re standing on her welcome mat, wearing a pretty, flowy summer dress.
She thanks the lord she changed.
Still in sweatpants – though, cleaner ones, -- she’s wearing her favourite top, the one that’s a little too tight, and sits just above the band of her trousers, showing a strip of muscular skin.
She was so nervous waiting for you to come, that she’d smoked beforehand. She’s got the familiar tingle in her limbs, but she’s pretty sure it’s from seeing you in this dress.
She gives you a quick once over, or at least, she thinks it’s quick, but when she glances back at you, you’re looking up at her with a raised brow. She flushes red and clears her throat.
“Hey – “she smiles, then nods to you, “--you look nice.”
Nice doesn’t cover it. She’s never seen so much skin. The dress is fitted, and it clutches your waist, sinching under your breasts. She looks at the bloom of your chest, then immediately glances away, trying to hide the flutter in her lower stomach.
You grin, “thank you,” and you splay your hands out at your waist, shaking them, as if to say, look at me!
Ellie nearly faints from the cuteness.
“Dinner party later,” you explain. “Right.” “Yeah – s’on the way.” She nods, lost in looking at you. You’ve got a splay of glitter in the corner of your eyes, making the bloom of colour pop. There’s shimmer and blush on your cheeks, too. Your lips are the colour of ripe cherries, and she wants nothing more than to lean in and taste.
She breaks out of her trance, shaking her head and widening her eyes at the floor, “right – er, fuck. Sorry.”  
You giggle at her, licking the corner of your lips. “s’okay.”
“I haven’t sorted your shit, gimmie a minute. Come in.”
You brush past her, and a cloud of sweetness follows you. Candyfloss, Ellie thinks, and apple.
She closes the door and turns to you. The dress is tight at your hips, too, bursting out over your thighs. You’re wearing a simple heeled sandal. Ellie stares at your lavender-painted toes.
You spin, dress swirling, “you should have told me you were cooking.” Her pasta simmers happily. “Oh no! it’s fine -- Making pasta, not really cooking.”
She shrugs, “This won’t take long anyway.”
Depends on how long I can drag it out for.
“Eighth, right?” she asks, walking towards her bedroom. When she turns over her shoulder to look for your answer, she swears she catches you looking at her ass. You glance up, caught. It’s her turn to raise her brows at you.
“Er, yeah,” you stutter, “You got any pre-rolled? My friends wanna smoke, too.”
She taps her hand against the doorway, thinking. “Ah, shit. No – I can roll it for you, though?” You nod, and she disappears into her room.
When she comes out, you’re stirring her pasta.
When Ellie was younger, people would talk.
They noticed her lack of boyfriends and her inclination towards girls. She’ll grow out of it, they said. Ellie had never seen her sexuality as something she could ‘grow’ out of. Years later, when she didn’t grow out of it, she started imagining what her life would look like. Imagined a wife and a house that would home her.
Imagined walking into her kitchen, and finding this very sight.
Ellie pauses. Catches herself in the daydream of resting behind you, placing her palms on your waist and kissing the back of your head – thanks for making dinner, baby.
“Oh, sorry,” you sheepishly apologise, grabbing her attention. “It was boiling over.” Ellie holds her palms up. “No argument from me.”
She pads to her coffee table, and sits down on the sofa, leaning over to start rolling for you. Seconds later, she looks up and catches you cracking pepper and salt into the pot. Jesus fucking Christ.
You pad around, dress swaying as you open cupboards, looking for something.  
When did you get so bold?
“You got any chilli flakes?” “Hm?” Ellie hums, a little dazed. You spin to her, your features anticipatory, “Chilli flakes.” “Oh, err. Yeah. In the bottom cupboard to the left.” The nervous tilt of your brow is back, but there’s a small smile there, too. “Can I put them in?”
Ellie opens her mouth in pause. You rush, “Just a bit, just a teensy bit. I’m telling you, it turns quick cook pasta into a gourmet meal.”
You can do whatever you want.
Ellie nods, not trusting her voice. You hurry around excitedly.
“What’re you putting it with?” “Just. Bought pasta sauce.” “Where is it?” “In the cupboard.”
You reach for it.
Ellie goes to tell you to stop, but fuck, she’s mid-fantasy now. She’s saying Honey, I’m home, and walking into the kitchen, finding you cooking for her in a pretty dress.
You leave the pan on the stove.
“Just heat the sauce, okay? I’ve put some herbs and spices in it.” Ellie feels cosy – feels taken care of. The feeling sits low in her belly, oozing into her bloodstream. “You didn’t have to do that.”
You shrug, near swaying towards her. Ellie’s making sure the roll-ups are neat and tidy looking -- taking her time for you.
“How much for the papers and your services?” you quirk. She glances at you from beneath her lashes, then drags her tongue over the paper, and swears she sees you follow the trail of her mouth. The high is there, pulsating in her veins.
“So professional,” she jokes, tone teasing, earning herself a giggle. You walk over, plopping yourself down on the carpet near her table, dress fanned out around you like a peacock. “I’m a professional lady.”
You reach for the bag, starting to roll one. Ellie watches you. Watches you lean over, breasts jostling as you reach.
“Helpful, too,” she comments, and you beam, smiling as you spread the weed over the paper.
Ellie wants nothing more than to see that smile forever.
She’s calm now, the weed she’d smoked making her bold. It gives her the courage to look at you, no holds barred. Her red-rimmed eyes flick over your soft features. 
The balmy air outside has caused a light sheen of sweat to build over your clavicle. A small bead of liquid slides down, and Ellie watches it descend, imagining reaching over and licking it off of you, tasting salt and the apple of your perfume.
Her body warms, tense with anticipation. She doesn’t snap out of it.
You’re too busy rolling to notice, but she does see you straighten your back, perking to attention.
“Um’ being serious,” you comment, consciously rubbing where she’s looking. Ellie catches your eyes.
“Consider making my dinner and seeing you in that pretty dress as payment.”
There’s that grin again. You beam at her, tongue gliding over the paper, and fuck, Ellie’s chest clenches. Her lower belly pulsates, pushing lower. “Does this dress also get me a discount?” you quirk. Yes, Ellie thinks. Fuck, do that again and you can get this shit for free. But she manages to catch herself. “Don’t push it, babe.”
Your smile twists, suddenly a little flustered. Ellie hears the echo of the endearment in her ears. If she wasn’t high, she probably wouldn’t have said that. Still, the word fits on her lips, and it seems that you like it as you reach up to nervously itch your shoulder. You shrug at her, the movement pushing your tits together, “can’t blame a girl for trying.” “No,” Ellie grins, and she catches your eyes. “I can’t.”
Ellie ends up giving you the discount anyway. There’s a voice in the back of her head saying, told you so. But then she’s seeing the knife and fork you left out for her on her countertop. Sees the napkin you folded, then rested on top of a plate.
Wife, she thinks. Wife wife wife.
“Thanks for this,” you smile, putting the roll-ups in your case. Ellie does not look at your tits. She does not look at your tits. Instead, she shrugs, “thanks for cooking for me.” Your smile coils into your cheek, warm and inviting, “Any time.”
When you leave, Ellie leans her head against her closed door, the wood cooling her warm body. Her stomach clenches. The ache that built there holds strong, and there’s a funny fuzz in her head, drunk on the remaining perfume that lingers in her living room.
She reaches down, mindlessly sliding her hand between her thighs. Her nerves spike, causing a shudder of breath to shake through her.
“Fuck sake, Ellie,” she groans. She clenches her fingers tighter, pushing up into the warm ache, and finds herself whispering your name.
She starts to realise why your old dealer fell in love with you.
PART TWO. 
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itsbecomeblue · 4 months
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texts with gf!ellie short smau
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sinopse: some texts and a post by gf!ellie
cw: nsfw, explicit sexting, swearing, not explicit if reader is fem or masc, established relationship, implicit dealer!ellie, modern!au.
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nramv · 4 months
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quick ellie drawing cuz i missed you guyss💕
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baptismbaby · 6 months
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† GOD, FORGIVE ME
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mean!ellie williams x innocent!reader a/n: i also posted this on my ao3: baptismsbaby warnings: reader is an extremely innocent christian girl, blaspheming, corruption, drug dealer!ellie, petnames (pup is used in case anyone doesn't like that), fingering (r! receiving), belittling, toxic!ellie, oral (r!receiving), virgin!reader
creds to elliesgalaxy on pinterest for the picture of ellie.
wc: 5.2k<3 part two here
You breathed a sigh of relief as you entered the gates of Jackson on your horse. You had just finished up patrol and was ready to collapse in your bed. You looked over at Dina and smiled. “Man, I’m happy to be home.”
“Me too,” Dina agreed with a laugh. “Things got too intense out there.”
“Yeah, luckily I was there to save your life.”
Dina scoffed. “Oh, shut up. I had it but of course, you had to show off.”
You hopped off your horse and led it to the stables, passing it off to the man on duty. “Here she is,” you said. “Get your rest, Ginger!”
Dina said goodbye to Japan, running to catch up with you. “Hey, I forgot to mention but Jesse said he wanted to throw a party tonight. It’ll be small, not too many people at all.”
You raised an eyebrow. “A party? Really?”
“Yeah, it’ll be fun! Jesse and his friends got some liquor and cups from Seth. Perfect timing too since everyone has the weekend off.”
“Dina,” you began. But before you could continue, Dina cut you off.
“I’m not saying you have to drink with us! I know you’re a good little Christian girl,” she joked.
You frowned. “Hey, that’s not nice.”
“Please come,” she begged. “It wouldn’t be fun without you.”
“What exactly do I bring to the table? It’s not like I can do anything,” you said. 
Dina stepped in front of you and placed her hands on your arms to stop you. “Listen, just please come and stay for at least half an hour. If you want to leave, you can. I won’t stop you or try to convince you to stay. I wanna have a good time with my friends and you’re one of my favorites. Please don’t let me suffer with all of Jesse’s friends. They’re… too male, almost.”
You sighed in defeat. “Ugh, fine! I’ll go if you really want me to.”
Dina clapped her hands in excitement. “Good! Come, I have some clothes you can borrow that’ll look real nice on you.”
You groaned as Dina pulled you by your hand, taking you to her place. She couldn’t contain how happy she felt. You never came to parties with her. They were rare and usually happened once every couple of months. Usually, you wouldn’t give in to Dina’s begging. You would just go home, curl up with a book and fall asleep before the party even began. Dina would come over the next day to tell you all the “sinful” things that went on. You didn’t understand what half of the things she said even meant, you were far too sheltered growing up and focused on reading the Bible most of the time.
“Who’s all gonna be there?” you asked as you walked inside her house.
“Well, I know Jesse’s whole group of friends are coming. Then there’s you, me, and…” she trailed off, looking away. You tilted your head to try and catch her attention. She fought hard not to look your way but you still kept trying to make eye contact until she finally looked at you. “Ellie,” she almost whispered. You sneered at the mention of the Williams girl.
“Ugh, I should’ve known,” you murmured. “Of course Ellie would be there.”
“Seriously, why do you two bicker so much?” Dina asked. “It’s like watching two kids fight over a toy. Or… really, more so like watching someone yell at a puppy for no reason.”
Your face fell. “Oh no… am I the puppy Dina? Please, don’t say I’m the puppy.”
Dina bit her lip and shrugged. “I mean… your comebacks are… something else.”
“What? Are you saying I can’t be mean?”
Dina couldn’t hide the smile growing on her face as she tried not to laugh. “You once said ‘bless your heart’ and that you’d pray for her.”
You scoffed as she broke into fits of laughter. “Hey, ‘bless your heart’ is the worst insult to receive where I come from! Sorry I felt bad afterwards and told her I’d pray for her!”
“Oh, I’m just messing. It’ll be alright. I’ll tell Ellie to cool it. I honestly don’t think she means anything by it. You’re just easy to tease,” Dina said as she made way to her closet. She pulled out a black longsleeve and extremely short shorts. “Here, wear this.”
You made a face at the outfit. “Is that not a bit… much?”
“Loosen up a bit! I think it’ll look real nice on your figure. Make the girlies pop out a little,” she said with a wink. 
You undressed and put the outfit Dina gave you on. She was right but left out the fact that the shorts revealed too much, your ass practically hanging out. The shirt fell just above your belly button. Dina gawked at the sight of you. “Hey, you should dress slutty more often.”
You couldn’t help but to admire yourself in the mirror. You were big on dressing as modest and comfortable as possible. You didn’t realize you had curves until now. “Wow… I think I kinda like this?”
“What can I say, I’m a genius,” bragged Dina.
-
You and Dina arrived at the party an hour later. Jesse opened the door and stopped in his tracks. Dina grinned. “I know right?”
Jesse looked you up and down then back at Dina. “Wow, I’m impressed,” he said, complimenting the both of you. “Come in.”
As you walked in, everyone stopped and stared. “Holy shit, you clean up nice!” one of the boys exclaimed. You shifted and looked down at the ground, too anxious to look at anyone. You were way out of your comfort zone but a part of you sort of enjoyed it. Your eyes wandered over to the couch where Ellie sat. She was rolling a joint, paying no mind to you. 
Dina walked over to her and leaned to whisper something in her ear. You stood there, watching Ellie’s face twist in disgust. You tried reading her lips, it looked like she said your name followed by the word “sensitive.” Dina smacked Ellie’s shoulder. Ellie began searching around the room until her eyes landed on you. Her eyebrows went up before turning to Dina. You couldn’t see her lips anymore but saw a smirk grow on Dina’s face.
Everyone took a shot and headed towards the couch. You followed, sitting on the ground next to Dina. You were kinda mad that to your right was Ellie, who now sat on the edge of the couch so the guys could sit next to her. She was so close that you could smell the soap she used. Ellie looked down at you, holding the joint out. Before you could decline, she passed it to the guy sitting next to her instead. “Shit, I forgot,” she said. “You’re too good to smoke.”
You glared at her smug face. “I don’t think I’m too good to smoke.”
“Well, you’re too good to drink.”
She reached over to grab an unopened bottle from the table. She grabbed two glasses and poured the liquor into each one. “I’m not too good to drink either!” you exclaimed, defending yourself.
Ellie chuckled. “Right,” she muttered. She went to grab the shot but you grabbed it first, downing it quickly. You coughed as it burned your throat.
“Woah,” Ellie blurted out sarcastically. “You took one shot, cool.”
You grabbed the other glass angrily and downed it too, slamming it back down on the table. 
“Jesus!” said Dina, grabbing your shoulder. “Take it slow, you don’t wanna get sick.”
At this point, the joint had reached Dina. She passed it to you to pass over to Ellie but you took a hit instead. You inhaled the smoke deeply and blew it out without coughing. You handed it to Ellie who had a playful smirk on her face. “Wow, I think I’m actually impressed.”
“Whatever,” you uttered, standing up to leave the circle. You went into the kitchen to take another shot. For some reason, you felt you had to prove to Ellie that you weren’t just a goody two shoes and that you could have fun. You knew that in order for the Jackson dealer to take you seriously, you would have to commit. 
After a couple shots, you slightly stumbled back to the circle. Dina looked concerned until you giggled. “Oh, boy. This is great,” you slurred, your eyes heavy from the weed. Dina laughed and wrapped an arm around you. “Finally! I’ve been waiting for you to let loose!”
You looked up at Ellie, who was looking further down than your face with furrowed brows. She looked back up and quickly turned away. “Lightweight,” she said.
“Oh, shut it, Ellie,” you snapped. “Just for a second could you please just shut up!”
Ellie laughed. “Good Christian girl suddenly thinks she’s the shit all cause she took a hit off a blunt and a couple shots.”
Everyone groaned, tired of the constant arguing between the two. Every time they were in a room with them, Ellie would make fun of you until you couldn’t take anymore and left. They knew Ellie wasn’t fully serious, she liked picking on you because she thought it was hilarious that you couldn’t take a joke. But part of her started to despise you without her knowledge. Everyone loved you. You were sweet and would pray with anyone who wanted to pray. You would give back to the community and greet everyone who walked past you. Ellie thought it was all an act and grew tired of it.
You, on the other hand, never liked Ellie. She was a dealer who spent all of her free time smoking pot and sleeping around. You didn’t think that was any way to live. You hated the influence Ellie had on your friends. Everyone thought she was funny. You couldn’t understand why.
“Let’s play never have I ever!” Dina suggested, an attempt to break the silence and to lessen the tension that built up in the room. Everyone agreed and put all ten of their fingers up. You followed along, waiting for someone to start.
“Okay,” Dina started. “Loser has to go streaking.”
Everyone cheered. You frowned, unsure if you still wanted to play. “But!” said Dina, causing everyone to be quiet. “Usually, you’re out if you put all your fingers down. But… whoever is left with the most fingers up is the loser.”
You nudged Dina, giving her a look. “You know I’m gonna lose,” you whispered. Dina shook her head. “Don’t worry about it. Just lie.” 
“I’ll start,” said Jesse. “Never have I ever… made out with someone on patrol.”
Everyone put their fingers down except you.
“Never have I ever… had sex during patrol,” Dina said. Almost everyone put their finger down. They looked at you, waiting for you to say something. You decided to take Dina’s advice and start lying to avoid being the loser.
“Never have I ever snuck out.”
You put a finger down along with everyone else. Ellie scoffed. “Yeah sure,” she muttered. “Never have I ever had sex.”
You put a finger down, knowing that wasn’t true. Ellie kicked your knee lightly. “Wow, you’re getting some? Tell me, who?”
You looked over at Dina, your eyes wide as you tried to come up with a lie. Some girl who passed through Jackson? Some girl you met before Jackson? Your head started to hurt trying to come up with an excuse.
“Who?” Ellie asked again. “Who’s the lucky guy?”
“Girl,” Dina corrected. “She’s not attracted to men.”
You nodded, not really caring that Dina had outed you. You knew that you were surrounded by people who wouldn’t judge. Except for Ellie, even though she wasn’t straight herself.
Ellie looked genuinely shocked. “Really? Who’s the girl?”
You shrugged. “I’m not gonna name drop.”
“Because this girl isn’t real,” said Ellie. “Lying is a sin. You would know. You just don’t want to be the loser.” 
“Hey, it’s not fair to lie,” one of Jesse’s friends complained. Suddenly, everyone started whining about how it was against the rules. Either you say who it was or admit that you’re lying. You felt heat rise to your cheeks in embarrassment. Ellie was grinning but it went away when she saw tears in your eyes.
“I’m teasing, man. Chill… don’t be a crybaby about it.”
“Fuck you, Ellie,” you spat out. A few people gasped, including Dina. She turned to Jesse, resting her head on his shoulder. She felt guilty for suggesting to play the game and for telling Ellie to be nice. Dina realized it just made her pick on you even more. 
Ellie wasn’t sure what to say. She wasn’t mad but she wasn’t feeling good about the situation either.
“You’re a real piece of shit,” you continued. “Always throwing religion in my face, being mean, just… why? Why target me? I’ve always been nice to you even though I have never, ever liked you! So, fuck you, Ellie!” You sighed, running a hand through your hair. “I knew better. I shouldn’t have come here when I found out you were gonna be here too. Just give it a rest, Ellie. Grow up!”
You stood up and brushed your shorts off. You faced your friends who all sat back quietly, avoiding your gaze. “Sorry for ruining your fun, guys.”
You stormed up the stairs and into one of the spare bedrooms. You collapsed on the bed, your head spinning. You felt awful for how you reacted but felt she deserved it. You were worried you ruined the party until you heard music along with everyone singing loudly. 
You heard a knock on the door. You got up, cracking it open. You were expecting Dina but felt your stomach drop when you saw Ellie. You tried to shut the door but Ellie stopped it with her hand, shoving her way inside and slamming the door shut and locking it. “I’m not here to bitch at you, I want to talk to you.”
“You really want to make things worse?”
“You’re right. I am a piece of shit,” Ellie hissed. “I know I go too far teasing you but you take everything seriously!”
“You don’t know me, Ellie,” you mumbled, too afraid to speak up in case your voice cracked. “I won’t lie and say that I ever cared for you. I don’t like the way you choose to live your life but I still was kind to you. You never gave me a chance.”
“Because you act like you’re better than everyone!”
“How?” you shouted. “All I want is to make friends with everyone, spread a little peace and love in this shitty world! It’s comforting to me, Ellie! I don’t think I’m better than you or anybody. I enjoy making others happy and you enjoy making people miserable. Actually, just me. Because I have never seen you do this to others. You hate me and I wish you didn’t! I hear how Dina talks about you and I see how you laugh with your friends and I’m jealous. I know I could’ve liked you had you been friendly with me. Because I was angry at myself for judging you so quickly. It was wrong of me. But of course, I was right!”
You turned away from Ellie and sat down on the bed, your arms crossed over your chest. “I felt I had to prove that I’m cool,” you continued. “I thought you would stop for just one night if you saw how cool I can be.”
“You want the truth?” Ellie asked.
“You’re always truthful. So, I might as well say yes even if I don’t really give a shit.”
“I meant it when I said I was impressed earlier.”
You scoffed. “Sure.”
“I can’t even take two shots back to back like that.”
“Stop teasing, Ellie. I am convinced that being torn apart by infected is less stressful than dealing with you.”
“Just shut the fuck up and let me talk, okay? I’m leading into something.”
You flinched at her raised voice, slowly looking up to see her facial expression harden. 
“I’m jealous of you,” she admitted. “I’m jealous that you can still believe in something and that you still care when everything is so fucked!”
You stood up, walking towards Ellie as she spoke. “I’d give anything, anything, to be that way. I had bitter feelings towards you. I think I wanted to tear you down so you wouldn’t be so… sweet. Giving, caring, everything I never could be.”
You watched her face closely, trying to figure out if she was telling the truth. 
“I fuck girls like you and ignore them so they can hurt. Maybe I want the world to suffer with me,” said Ellie. “But I couldn’t do that to you. You’re too… good. I had to find another way.”
You paused as you connected what she said together. “Wait, you wanna…?” you trailed off, too shy to say it.
Ellie scratched her neck awkwardly. “Well, I did… but you’d never do that.”
“I might have,” you said, almost feeling ashamed of how bold you were being. You never would have thought this sober but Ellie was really pretty. If the circumstances were different, you knew that she would be your type. 
Ellie was taken aback by your statement.
“What?” Ellie questioned.
“Not now, since I know you would’ve ignored me.”
Ellie stepped closer to you, eyeing your body up and down. She thought you looked good tonight and couldn’t help but to peek at your tits when you weren’t paying attention, or your ass when you were turned away. 
“I… know I would’ve back then,” Ellie whispered, getting even closer to you. She stood above you, watching as your face turned red. Your heart sped up. You wondered why your panties started to feel a bit wet at the sight of Ellie looking down at you. You usually never got turned on. Ellie was right, you were just a good Christian girl who didn’t do anything. You never even tried touching yourself. Since you were breaking the rules now, you thought maybe you could break some more and pray for forgiveness later.
“I’m not so sure now,” Ellie continued, reaching out to brush a strand of hair behind your ear. “I never knew you were hiding that under all those baggy clothes.”
“A-Are you saying that in a bad way?”
Ellie shook her head. “When I first saw you earlier, I told Dina I kinda wanted to fuck you.”
Your breath hitched. “What did… Dina say?”
“That if I was nicer,” she said, stepping closer so there was almost no space left between your bodies. “I just might get to.”
Ellie caressed your cheek slowly. “Am I nice enough now, pretty girl?”
Your panties were soaked at this point. Your body trembled, afraid that you wouldn’t know what to do since it was your first time. Even though ten minutes ago you didn’t like the girl, you suddenly wanted nothing more than to be underneath her.
“I really… was lying earlier,” you mumbled.
“I know you were.”
“You don’t care that I’ve never… had sex before?”
Ellie smirked. “I’m glad you’ve never been fucked before. I want to be the one who corrupts you. I want everybody who fucks you after me to be a disappointment so you come crawling back. You’ll never find better than me, not even your own hand.”
Ellie leaned down, her lips brushing against yours. You pulled away to speak. “I don’t even do that…”
Ellie chuckled. “Really? Little church girl don’t know how to please herself?”
Usually, you would get mad at Ellie for saying stuff like that. Now, her insults just made you throb even more. 
“Have you even kissed before?”
You bit your lip shyly and shrugged. “Not… really. When I was 13, a boy tried kissing me and I didn’t kiss back.”
“Aw, poor pup,” Ellie teased, running her fingers on the exposed skin of your tummy. “I get to teach you everything.”
Finally, Ellie collided her lips with yours. She was super gentle, placing her hand on your cheek and brushing it with her thumb. You melted in the kiss, pressing your thighs together to ease your aching cunt. The friction made it feel even better, causing you to release a soft moan into her mouth. Ellie pulled away, smirking at the noise you made. “I wanna hear more of that.”
“I don’t know what I’m doing,” you admitted. “I don’t know if I can do anything to make you feel good.”
“You want me to fuck you, don’t you?”
You hesitated a bit before nodding. Of course you wanted that. You were just scared that you’d be bad at it since you had zero experience.
“Then let me fuck you. I get off to getting you off, understand?” asked Ellie. 
“Y-Yes.”
“Good girl,” Ellie praised. “Lay down, baby.”
You obeyed and laid down onto the bed. You watched as Ellie slowly took your boots off and dropped them onto the ground. “Lift your hips up for me?”
You lifted your hips and let Ellie pull your shorts off. Ellie bit her lip at the sight of your white cotton panties. She could see how soaked they were. “Look at that,” she breathed. You closed your legs to hide yourself but Ellie pulled them back open, holding your thighs down so you couldn’t move. “Filthy little girl,” she cooed. “What would God say about this?”
Your breathing started to grow heavier. “I-I don’t care what He would say,” you whined.
Ellie held back a moan that threatened to escape her lips. She pulled your panties off and threw them behind her.
“Fuck,” she groaned. “Your pussy is so pretty.”
She tugged at your shirt until you got the hint to raise up. She lifted the fabric over your head and dropped it on the floor. You were completely naked while Ellie was fully dressed. She rolled her sleeves up, her eyes never leaving yours. She crawled on top of you and started making out with you passionately. Without pulling away, she started to unbutton her jeans and took them off swiftly. She shoved her knee against your dripping cunt, eliciting a squeal from you. She placed her hands on your hips and guided them up and down so you were grinding on her.
“Just like that, baby. Good girl.”
You started to moan louder, Ellie covering your mouth and shushing you. “As much as I want to make you scream, you don’t want anyone to hear and interrupt us, do you?”
You shook your head no. “Will you be quiet for me?”
“Yes,” you whimper. 
Ellie pressed her knee harder on your pussy. You started to go faster, mewling and biting your lip to keep quiet.
“Such a good girl. You listen so well,” Ellie complimented. She took her knee away and brushed a finger up your slit. Your body jolted at the feeling. “You want me to taste you baby?”
“Please,” you almost cried out, desperate for whatever Ellie planned on doing to you. Ellie moaned at the sight of you squirming. She loved watching you unfold beneath her. To think she ever hated you was beyond her at this point. She wished she had done this sooner as she admired how beautiful you were. 
“Say it,” Ellie demanded. “Use your words, pup.”
“E-Ellie, please” you begged. “F-Fuck me.”
Ellie tutted, shaking her head no. “I plan on fucking you anyway. I want you to beg me to eat you out.”
You were confused. You’ve heard Dina say that Jesse would ‘eat her out’ but you weren’t sure what it really meant. Ellie saw the confusion on your face and laughed. “Wow, you’re too innocent.” 
You started to sit up but Ellie pushed you back down softly. “I know what you’re thinking. I didn’t mean it that way,” she apologized. “It’s okay that you don’t know what that means. I’ll show you baby. You want that?”
You nodded. “Yes, please show me.”
Ellie leaned down between your thighs and started peppering kisses all over them. You reached down to grip her hair as her lips got closer to your pussy. She flicked her tongue across your clit once and looked up at you. “Do you understand now, pup?”
“Mm, yes Ellie.”
She smirked. “You want me to continue?”
“Please?”
Ellie chuckled as she went back down to your dripping cunt, licking it all up and swallowing. She savored the taste of you, going back down for more. You grabbed the pillow beneath your head to put over your face in an attempt to muffle your moans.
Ellie stopped and yanked the pillow out of your hands. “They turned the music all the way up finally. You don’t have to be quiet anymore. I wanna hear how good I make you feel.”
Ellie pressed her tongue against your clit and went back and forth between a circular motion and flicking it. You nearly screamed from the pleasure, your hands grabbing Ellie’s hair to pull her closer. She moaned against you, speeding her tongue up. She brought a hand up to play with your nipple, squeezing and pulling on it. Ellie used her free hand to gently push one finger in. You yelped, yanking Ellie’s hair harder. She pulled away and licked her lips. “Too much baby?” she asked, out of breath. You shook your head no and pulled her back to keep going.
Ellie loved how tight you felt. The feeling of you gripping around her finger made her want to bend you over and fuck you with a strap. She wished the party was at her place so she could have used all the toys she had on you.
A feeling began to build up in your stomach as you trembled harder. “E-Ellie!” you moaned, bucking your hips upward as you got closer and closer to cumming.
“Come on, baby. That’s it. Be a good girl and cum for me.”
All of the sudden, your body began to convulse as your orgasm hit you hard. Ellie slowly fingered you, riding it out until you pulled away from her. She brought her finger up to your mouth, forcing it open and shoving it down your throat. You sucked on her finger with a moan.
“Such a good girl,” Ellie praised, elated with how quickly you catch on.
“Wow,” you mumbled, out of breath from all the noises you made. “Never in a million years did I think I’d lose my virginity to you.”
Ellie sent you a sly smile. “I never knew I’d take it.”
You raised up slightly, leaning against Ellie’s shoulder. “Are you still going to be mean to me?”
Ellie sighed. “No, baby. That’s all over now.” 
“Good. Do I put my clothes on now?”
“Why do you have to ask for my permission?” Ellie questioned with a laugh.
You giggled. “Well, I like… asking you.”
“Well, then no. I think I want to fingerfuck you some more. Can you take that?”
You froze, looking up at her with a fucked out expression. You were exhausted but didn’t want your time with Ellie to end. “Mhm, I think so.”
Ellie leaned back a bit and grabbed you. “Come lay in my lap, baby. Ass up.”
You complied and laid down, arching your back in excitement. Ellie rubbed her hand over your ass, squeezing tightly as you moaned. “Tell me, did you pray for me?”
Before you could ask what she meant by that, she shoved two fingers into your dripping cunt. You yelped as she fucked you with them slow and hard. “That one time when you got mad at me for making fun of you, you said you’d pray for me. Did you?”
Ellie sped her movements up as she went deeper inside you.
“Fuck!” you yelled out, trembling and kicking your feet at the feeling.
“Answer me, pup, or I’ll stop,” Ellie threatened.
“Yes!”
“Yes what, baby?”
“Yes! God, yes, I prayed for you!”
Ellie went even faster as you got closer to cumming again. “Atta girl, such a sweet pup. Praying for a sinner like me.”
“Ellie! Fuck! I-I prayed for you everyday!” you babbled, unable to speak without getting interrupted by your own sounds of pleasure.
“Yeah? Told God how bad you wanted me? Told Him all your dirty thoughts, you filthy slut?”
You moaned louder, bucking your hips up towards Ellie . “Yes!”
“You’re gonna ask for forgiveness, aren’t you? Like the good Christian girl you are.”
“Mm, yes, Ellie,” you whined, your orgasm about to take over you.
“Then ask, baby, ask.”
“God, forgive me please,” you said in between moans as you finally came undone for her. The force of you cumming shook your entire body and made your eyes roll to the back of your head. You couldn’t help but to repeat Ellie’s name until you started to come down, your body almost collapsing onto her lap. 
“Good girl.”
Ellie helped you up onto your feet, your legs shaking. “Let me help you get dressed,” she offered.
As Ellie helped you into your clothes, you couldn’t help but feel awful. “Ellie? Did I… make God mad at me?”
Ellie stopped, placing her hands on your shoulders and staring deep into your eyes. “Who could be mad at an angel like you?”
You blushed, removing yourself from her grip and tugging your shirt over your head. You put your shoes on next and sighed, looking up at Ellie with a tired smile. “Do we say anything?”
Ellie shook her head no, quickly fixing your hair so it wasn’t obvious what happened. “Just say we talked and you forgave me. I had one hell of an apology,” she uttered with a goofy grin. You laughed softly.
“So, you’re not gonna ignore me, right?”
Ellie wrapped her arms around you for a second before stepping back, eyeing you up and down while heading towards the door. Your heart stung, wondering if maybe Ellie didn’t mean what she said before. 
“Come by tomorrow night,” said Ellie as she turned the knob. “I’ll fuck you so good that you won’t question me again.”
Ellie left you standing there, your mouth open in shock. You waited a couple minutes before heading downstairs to the party.
“Hey,” you heard Dina call out to you. She grabbed your hand and looked at you with concern. “I shouldn’t have said anything to Ellie. It just made her worse. I begged her not to talk to you but-”
“Dina,” you interrupted. “She explained herself and I explained myself. We’re all good.”
Dina looked surprised. “What? Really? You forgave her?”
You looked behind Dina to see Ellie back on the couch, staring at you with a grin as she puffed on her joint. You smiled at Dina and nodded. “Of course I forgave her. Her apology was genuine and…”
“What did she say?” Dina pressed on.
You shrugged. “I can’t remember everything she said but it was one hell of an apology.”
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savannahsdeath · 6 months
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DEALER!ELLIE X READER
♯ten dollars worth
mdni please<3
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summary: you met ellie in quite unusual circumstances, so she offers you a free joint to calm down, thats totally not from her personal stash
warnings: 18+!! weed, alcohol, assault, catcalling ? a little of blood / wound, bad writing
writers note: this is really old and bad like seriously . also im left on delivered really not cool😓💔
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You never were a fan of walking home after sunset. You had to follow your intuition because in the dim light of moon you could barely see where you are.
Eventually, after a few months of stress, something had to happen. And here you were, surrounded by a few boys your age. You had a few shots - you weren't drunk, but definitely not... completely aware of what's happening. You decided it's an excellent idea to talk back.
They exchanged glances as you challenged them, as if communicating telepathically. You could feel something shift in the air, tension rising, despite their lack of visible anger. What exactly you said to provoke them, you couldn't remember.
Suddenly, in a flash of movement, one of them grabbed your arm, spinning you around to face them. Your vision was blurred as everything happened too fast. He pressed a cold object against your forehead. The other boys smiled.
"What do you think it is?" He asked calmly, as you struggled to focus your eyes.
In your state of mild intoxication, your vision and balance began to fail you. You closed your eyes tighter, hoping the world would stop spinning. You leaned heavily on the boy holding you in place, and he laughed coldly.
"She's drunk." He announced to the others.
You felt yourself begin to slide to the floor, but he held you up. You tried to break free but could barely stand, not only because of the alcohol, but all the sensations.
Another boy chuckled, as if he just told them a hilarious joke. The one holding your arm tightened his grip, as the second one moved behind you. They were whispering to eachother.
"What should we do with her?" He asked, snickering to himself.
"A drunk girl alone at night? Hmm. There's millions things we could do." His friend replied, his voice low and menacing.
You hestitated for a moment but decided to say something. "Let me go." You spoke carefully.
You heard their cruel laughter, the way they looked at you like a helpless animal.
"Not going to happen, sweetheart." The boy holding you replied. He grabbed you by the hair, tugging your head back, causing your neck to arch uncomfortably. Just then, you could feel something cold on your throat. "That's up to us. That pretty little mouth of yours has gotten itself into a bit of trouble." He added, his voice low and predatory.
You struggled to free yourself, but he was stronger than you expected. You let yourself be pulled close to the boy who first spoke.
"Now don't go struggling so much, cutie." He whispered. "You'll ruin your makeup, and that just won't do."
And then, one more person came. She, because it was a female (even though she looked masculine and it wasn't so obvious at first, when your vision was still fuzzy), seemed to surprise even your attackers.
"What are you guys doing?" She scoffed, smoke blew out of her mouth as she spoke.
The grip on your body loosened. "Oh, look who missed us. Hey, Williams." The boy ignored her question, clearly knowing the girl.
The girl's presence stunned the boys into momentary submission. They quickly regained their composure, exchanging a look with eachother before turning back to you.
"I was just about to teach this little one a lesson." The first boy replied. "Can't have her walking the streets, alone and drunk, while she's all dressed up. She needs to be taught humility."
The second boy smirked. "You need to be careful, sweetie." He said, squeezing your shoulder. "There are creeps like us out there, and-"
"Shut the fuck up." You hissed, cutting him off as the female's presence made you finally able to speak up. "Let me go, damnit!"
They backed up at your outburst, clearly surprised. They exchanged glances with eachother, as if unsure about who should react. The first boy spoke up first, with a sneer.
"Oh, she can talk again." He scoffed, as the second boy laughed. He leaned in close to you, his voice low.
"What did you say, whore?" He grinned, his tone cold and menacing.
'Williams' rolled her eyes and came right in front of you. "So, I get you don't know them." She looked at you before turning her attention to your attackers. She extended her hand in a 'come here' gesture. "Give me her."
Someone pushed you slightly backwards, out of her reach.
"Fucking sadists." You murmured, hoping the girl will find a way to convince them somehow.
She quickly took a little bag from her backpack and tossed it to one of them. It was too dark to see what it is, but you could guess - weed.
The second boy caught the bag and opened it, peering inside, before a smile spread across his face. He shared a look with the first boy.
"I think she's good." He spoke up, as the first boy nodded. They released your hands, looking to the girl.
"You're the boss, Williams, you're always the boss." One of them muttered.
The boys turned to head back the way they came, as 'Williams' stood there, looking at you. Her expression remained stern and unforgiving.
"You should get someone to walk you home next time." She said, her tone neutral.
Behind her, the boys' laughter could be heard as they walked away.
"I don't need a bodyguard." You huffed, but deep down you felt a lot of sympathy for the girl. She may be weird - having weed in her backpack and knowing those disgusting boys, but she probably saved you, after all.
She watched you for a moment, as if debating whether to say more. She turned to leave, but stopped.
"Your makeup is smudged." She said, her tone remained neutral.
She stepped towards you and brushed her fingers across your face, using her thumb to wipe away some smudged makeup under your eye.
She pulled her hands away, inspecting your features. "Jesus, you poor thing. Wait, you have a cut on your neck." She noted, before pulling a tissue out of her pocket.
Then, she gently pressed a tissue to the cut on your neck, as the light from the street lamp illuminated your face. She looked to you, her expression concerned, as you felt your heartbeat quicken in your chest.
"Does it hurt?" Her tone turned to a more soft and caring one.
You didn't answer, too surprised by the sudden change of her appearance.
She took your hands, inspecting the red, fresh bruises on your wrists, as if noticing them for the first time.
"You don't have anyone, do you?"
There was silence for a moment, as the two of you stared at eachother. Suddenly, the girl's expression changed, an idea occurring to her.
"Come on." She said abruptly, her voice firm, as she reached for your hand. "I've got somewhere you can crash at." She pulled you forward, walking down the dark street. "You can fix yourself up back at my place."
You allowed yourself to be led forward, following behind her as she walked. At first, you felt uneasy about trusting a stranger. You never met this girl, yet here you were, following her into the night.
As you walked, she glanced back at you periodically, as if making sure you were alright. Sometimes she'd ask some questions, like your name, age, or just tried to build a conversation. You found out her name is Ellie and she knows the boys because of her weed business.
After a while, the two of you arrived at a small, unassuming apartment.
"Ladies first." She smirked, as she unlocked the door with a small key. She beckoned for you to walk inside.
You stepped in, as Ellie shut the door behind you. The apartment was dark, but you could tell it was spacious. The layout was open, with everything on the same floor, including the living area, kitchen, and a set of stairs that led to the upper floor.
She sighed, removing her shoes, as she sat down on the couch in the living area. She reached into her backpack, pulling out a joint. Taking it apart, she began to roll it back, more neatly.
You remained silent, feeling uneasy and out-of-place. You had no idea what to expect from this girl, and had no choice but to trust her, considering your situation.
She looked at you, noticing your expression. "Relax, doll. You're safer here than you were out on the street. You smoke?" She asked, her tone remained neutral.
You sat down on a chair nearby, as Ellie lit the joint, taking a few long drags. She held her breath for a moment, before breathing out a plume of smoke. You didn't manage to answer before she passed it to you.
"Just to settle your nerves." She explained. "I'm not about to hurt you. Or do anything to you."
You took the joint, taking a tentative puff, as the strong smell of pot filled the room. Almost immediately, a feeling of calm washed over you, as your muscles relaxed and your mind cleared.
You watched Ellie smoke, her eyes closed as she breathed in the smoke deeply. There was something oddly calming about her, as if her presence was enough to put you at ease.
"How often do you walk around like that?" She asked after a few moments of passing the joint back and forth.
You took another puff, letting the smoke fill your lungs. For a moment, you felt a bit light-headed as the drug began taking its effect. You glanced at Ellie, who had her eyes closed, smoking with one hand while she cleaned up the table with the other.
"Often enough." You said, and she nodded, as if understanding something.
"You're lucky I ran into you." She smirked, exhaling some smoke. She looked over at you directly, her eyes searching.
She took a long drag, and held the smoke deep in her lungs before slowly letting it out. You noticed her eyes barely left you. She sat there, in silence, observing you, as you both passed the joint between each other.
Finally, after a long moment of silence, she spoke up again.
"Why do you do it?" She asked, as she took another drag. "Walk alone at night after a few drinks. You live in a city like this. It's dangerous, no?" She shook her head, seeming puzzled.
You took a long drag on the joint, as you considered her question. It wasn't something you often thought about, but the more you thought, the more confused you became.
"I think-" you started before stopping. "I'm not sure, actually." You admitted with a sigh. "Maybe I just like being alone, or something."
She nodded, as if to accept your answer.
"I don't think you do, though." She said, still observing you.
You passed the joint back to her, thinking about her question. It wasn't your nature to question your own actions, or why you did things. It was rare that you could even make sense of your own thoughts, let alone explain them to someone else.
But Ellie had her doubts. She was perceptive, and you didn't know what to make of it. The more time you spent in her company, the more her eyes searched you.
"What makes you say that?" You asked, curious.
Ellie took a moment to respond. She leaned back into the couch, taking a drag of the blunt.
"Your makeup." She shrugged, like it was obvious. "It looks like it's been done to impress someone."
Her tone was neutral, as if it was a simple observation. To her, that's what makeup was for. You, on the other hand, felt uncomfortable by how accurate she was.
You felt yourself flush as Ellie spoke. Your makeup was an attempt at impressing someone. Not someone specific, really, but someone. Anyone. You wanted people to notice you.
"You have me figured out, huh?" You said, with a slight laugh.
"It's only obvious, if you take the time to look." She took another drag of the joint, watching you intently as the smoke filled her lungs.
She stood up and disappeared in a bathroom for a few seconds, before coming back with something to disinfect the little wound on your neck you already forgot about. Ellie's action took you aback. Here she was, a stranger smoking weed with you in the middle of the night, yet she was still offering you little gestures of concern.
She returned to the living area, with cotton swabs and disinfectant. She placed the swabs on a small table next to the couch, then knelt beside you, as you sat on the armchair.
Her eyes studied you as she cleaned the wound on your neck, being extra careful not to touch the surrounding area more than necessary. After a few moments, she removed her hands and sat back on the couch, her eyes never leaving you.
"Better?" She asked, her voice soft and calm as ever.
You nodded. The small wound on your neck hadn't bothered you much, but having it taken care of was pleasant. She've even been gentle and careful about it. She was still in your presence, sitting on the couch, watching you with steady, unmoving eyes.
"Thank you." You said, still feeling the warmth of the joint in your body.
You spent a lot of time just talking, realizing you got a lot in common and even if not, you respected each others differences.
You cleared your throat, feeling that you should probably be home now. You'd been with Ellie for some time, and the late hour coupled with the effects of the joint had you feeling slightly disoriented.
"I probably should be going... I need to get some sleep." You said, your tone apologetic as you cleared your throat again.
"Yeah, I suppose you probably should." She replied, as she stood back up. "Need any help to get home?" She raised an eyebrow, looking at you intently.
Hers eyebrow remained raised as she waited for your reply. You felt uneasy, not sure how to respond.
The joint had left you mildly disoriented, the late hour taking its toll as well. You were also still unfamiliar with her intentions, despite having spent two hours in her company.
"Actually, can I take the offer?" You replied, hesitantly. "I'd love some company walking home."
Ellie looked at you for a moment longer before nodding, with a slight smile. You could tell she expected and wanted you to say that.
"You didn't bring a jacket?" She asked, an expression of mild concern on her face. You shook your head, unsure of what to say.
"Alright, give me a minute." She said, as she walked to her bedroom. She returned a few moments later, a hoodie in her hands. "Take this, it's cold outside." She instructed, as she handed it to you. You took the thick-looking hoodie, pulling it on, as Williams looked you over.
She smirked as she watched you pull it on, the sleeves reaching down to just under the ends of your fingers.
It was nearly midnight as the two of you stepped outside her apartment, walking down the silent street. She was on higher alert than ever, constantly scanning her surroundings as the two of you walked. Her eyes didn't leave the darkness, but every now and then, she'd sneak a quick glance at you.
You headed towards a quiet part of town.
You reached your house, standing on the sidewalk. The effects of the joint had worn off, and your exhaustion suddenly hit you full force.
"Thank you." You said to Ellie, not sure what else to say. "Will you be fine, though?" You added. "You know, going all the way back, alone."
Ellie's expression remained neutral, as if she was used to walking home alone, even at the late hour.
"I'll be fine." She reassuringly smiled at you. "Go get some rest, you look tired."
She took a step towards you, as if about to lean in and hug you. After a moment's hesitation, she leaned forwards and did so, pushing a small bag into your hand before pulling away.
She turned around and started heading off in the other direction. "Sleep well!"
You watched her until she was out of view. Then, you headed inside.
Of course her little gift was weed but that was just an excuse to leave you a message. With a black marker she wrote her number and a note under it - 'if you'll ever need someone to walk you home again'. She must do it while going into the bedroom, to take her hoodie.
Shit, her hoodie!
You looked down at the oversized but comfortable and warm cloth.
At least I have an excuse to text her, you thought.
And you knew she did it on purpose.
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mystar-girl57 · 1 year
Text
𝐉𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐲, 𝐉𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐲
𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫
𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 || 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞
𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : Dealer!Ellie Williams x Reader
𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 : trying her best to get you back and getting her act cleaned up, the one person that Ellie doesn’t want to ever see again shows up deciding to cause some madness.
𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : Seline. Mentions of drugging drinks, one homophobic slur aimed at you and Ellie, mentions of violence, Ellie being uncomfortable, blood, description of Injury, implied r!pe but nothing explicit
𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 : I just realized the proper spelling of Seline is - Selene bc her name is (Sea-lee-n-ee-n) oh well- hope not to many though it was (see-line). Also part of chapter five will be this chapter but from your perspective. You’ll see what I mean once you read
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With every step Seline took, Ellie backed away until Seline had made it into the dorm and had Ellie against the wall, her fingers gracing Ellies arms. They glided along her skin, over her tattoo and reaching up to her biceps. But before she could cup Ellies face the woman pushed Seline back harshly. “Get the fuck off me!” Ellie spat. Seline stumbled backward, her heels scuffing against the vinyl floor and her back hit the wall with a thud but she didn’t fall to the ground.
“I told you at the party that I wasn’t interested in you! And that still hasn’t changed!”
When Seline looked back up that sweet seductive demeanor was gone, replaced with a mean glare. She reminded Ellie of a Coral Snake. At first glance you’d think it was just a harmless Scarlet Kingsnake that had trodden across your path, but when you got close enough it’d strike at your ankle.
That's how Seline was, Ellie thought she was just another drunken girl trying to get into her pants but it was the exact opposite. Seline was sober, she knew what she was doing and she got what she wanted.
“You drugged my drink! You took advantage of me while I was in that state!” Ellie yelled, her voice growing more broken and tears started to well. “And because of that— because— because of you I lost that one good thing in my life. The one thing that was keeping me together, making sure I didn’t lose myself! Now she’s gone!”
The tear line of her eyes overflowed and the drops started to roll freely down her cheeks. It was the first time she had cried since that day that you came to her dorm and found Seline.
The blonde scoffed at the sight, watching Ellie slide down the wall and hide her face in her hands with her knees pulled up to her chest. Ellie was trying to make herself as small as possible in hopes that she’d disappear.
“Oh please don’t be such a baby about it.” Seline growled, “Drugged or not you kept whining her name over and over again, you even called me that skank's name on the way here! You mistook me for her.” Her voice then became an octave higher mockery lacing her tone as she repeated your name over and over again. “And here I thought you were so loyal to her.” Seline sneered, getting down on one knee and grasping Ellie’s jaw forcing the girl to look up. “Now look at you. In the same position with the same girl.”
Ellie’s breathing labored, feeling Seline’s thumb rub across her lower lip. She knew that she could easily over power Seline and throw her off as if she was nothing. But she was frozen in place, feeling helpless.
Seline’s breath fanned Ellie’s face and the girl closed her eyes tightly. But just before Seline’s lips could touch Ellies there was a loud ‘blam’ followed by a thud and Seline was on the floor, a shadow now looming over Ellie.
“Get the fuck off of her.”
Ellie looked up in shock to find you standing there, fists clenched and teeth gritting. Did you just do that? She looked over at Seline who pushed herself up onto her hand and knees, her free hand massaging the side of her face. Did you just kick her?! Ellie didn’t have time to process what was happening because two strong hands came up from the side of her guiding her to her feet and out the door where Dina was waiting. “Wait wait wait! What about her!” The dealer started to panic watching as the person who pulled her out, which turned out to be Jesse, closed the door behind him, leaving you and Seline in the dorm.
Ellie started to panic, her mind filling with white noise and her body started to shake. Even outside of the living space with the door closed she could hear the yells and even a few thuds. There was a practically loud slam near the door that snapped Ellie out of her thoughts and she could feel Dina holding her, her words now filtering through all the garbled noise in her ears.
“Breathe Ellie, breathe,” Dina gently soothed, rubbing her arms trying to keep her grounded. The girls looked up hearing Jesse boots clunk closer to the door. He put his ear against it for a few moments then pulled away with a frown. He must have heard something concerning because Jesse reached down, grasping the doorknob in his hand with the intent to open it. But before he could, the door was snatched back away from him, slamming against the wall, this time denting the wood slightly. Everyone turned their attention to the now open doorway to find you standing there. You were panting slightly, obviously out of breath, your hair was a frizzy mess as if someone had tried to yank it from your scalp. But your fists, oh your fists were busted and bruised, with warm red blood oozing from their contusions. A deep bite was also starting to show on your forearm and a deep purple bruise has started to crawl up from the corner of your jaw to the plush of your cheek.
“So— did ja’ win?” Jesse asked with a nervous chuckle but you just ignored him, wiping off the blood that was dribbling down your blood and onto your lips. From what Ellie could make out as you walked out of the doorway was Seline in a similar state to you as she struggled to get up. When she did, she grabbed her purse and stiletto and hobbled out of the room looking like she had gone through a tornado.
As she came by she stopped in front of Ellie, out of breath and in a much worse state than you had been in. “Y’know what Williams? Enjoy your fucking animal you fucking dyke.” Seline then spat at your shoes, the saliva splattering on the white toes of your hightops. Jesse watched your fists clench once more and he quickly grabbed a fist full of your shirt to keep you from lunging. The four of you then proceeded to watch her limp down the hallway, neither of you dared to breathe until Seline had gotten into the elevator and the sliding doors came together with a ding.
Ellie let a deep sigh escape her, relief washing over like a wave. She went over to you only to find your cold glare was now focused on her and that anxiety returned tenfold. Even after all that had just happened, were you still mad? Deep down she understood, you didn’t know the full story and even if you did it didn’t make it right.
Seeing Ellie look away from you in shame, your eyes softened some and you bit your bottom lip wondering what to do. You knew what you needed to do but it wasn't ideal. Holding back a groan you turned to Jesse and Dina. “Look, Jess, Dee, just go get some sleep, I’ll stay here and take care of Ellie.” Jesse and Dina exchanged looks of surprise. “Are you sure?” Jesse questioned, “I don’t want to just leave you here after—” you raised your hand to cut him off. “We need to talk and I feel like I’m about to collapse, titts caught me in the head with her fucking hotpink heel.”
Ellie’s eyes wiped slightly, noticing the crimson patch collecting in your hair and dripping down the side of your face. It was obvious Jesse was concerned about leaving you. Your brother sister bond came first over anything, that was the promise you had made to each other back in middle school. The other would come before anything, regardless of the situation you were in. “Okay but if that gets much worse,” he pointed to the wound on your hairline, “you call an ambulance. And if that starts anything,” he pointed to Ellie not breaking eye contact with you, “you call me. Got it?” You nodded slightly, “Got it.”
Jesse sighed, his shoulders slumping a bit and he pulled you forward into a hug, embracing for a few moments before Dina stole him away, leading him down the hallway to the elevator. When the elevator let out a ding it announced that you and Ellie were finally alone. Ellie looked at you hesitantly, not knowing what to stay or do next.
You didn't try to touch her or even come any closer, you just slowly made your way to the door, praying to whoever might be listening that you didn't fall.
“Cm’on.” You sighed, rubbing your throbbing head, “We gotta talk.”
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🏷️ @flo-solerdiaz378 @ellieseater @l0v3e1i @sl-ut @hebrokeimup @siesie2 @yookayyo @hotgirlsshareaccounts @danveration @strawberryclaws @lanasluverr @niyaahhhhhhh
© 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫-𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝟓𝟕 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐬
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𝐓𝐄𝐗𝐓𝐒 𝐖𝚰𝐓𝐇 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑 𝐄𝐋𝐋𝚰𝐄
*in sleep deprived menstruation voice* hope you guys enjoy!! 💞💞
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elsweetheart · 1 year
Text
what you heard : part one
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synopsis: you start to develop feelings for your boyfriends dealer.
♪ what you heard — sonder ♪
cw: reader is a bisexual woman dating a man, brief descriptions of having sex with a man, weed, alcohol, ellie’s sexual thoughts, blink and you miss it mention of throwing up, a man being really mean and a bad boyfriend, gay girl drama, ellie is kind of a homewrecker but reader doesn’t technically cheat, but mentions of it. kind of angsty at times? a little?
an: whew this is kinda lengthy !! idk how many words so… don’t ask me :( i hope you all enjoy it! i’ll start writing part two asap!
Ellie didn’t hate any of her customers, no. That would be bad for business. She just simply… preferred some over the others. Louis was one of those customers that she wouldn’t exactly reserve her best weed for. Not originally, at least. He was like a lot of the other guys on campus, average. Brown hair with the same old outfits, love of sports, and friend group. She could find one hundred of him. She kept a pretty exclusive clients list, not wanting to overwhelm herself with business whilst she’s really trying this year to stay on top of her studies. He wasn’t the most polite, and he was always showing up without texting first — but he paid, and that was good enough to keep him on as a customer.
Alright, maybe that wasn’t really the reason Ellie kept him on as a customer.
She always liked to check out the social media accounts of the people she sold to, try and figure out what kind of person they were, who they knew, and if they seemed like the type to give her up if a cop came knocking. Also, simply put — the girl was nosy. Don’t let her nonchalant demeanour fool you, her Insta-stalking skills rivalled the FBI. She knew she probably shouldn’t, and she did feel a little weird doing it — scrolling on her bed one evening in a hoodie and basketball shorts, she typed in Louis’ name to the Instagram search bar.
He had one picture up of you, the rest were pictures of him and his friends at parties. Real classy, she thought. She clicked the picture, wondering what kind of girl would have to be desperate enough to go out with a guy this… meh, and oh… Oh. You were smoking hot. It was a halloween throwback, a basic couple costume with Louis dressed as the devil and you, ironically enough dressed as an angel. He kept his sweaty pink hand on the curve of your ass as the two of you laughed. She wondered what was funny. He got lucky, she thought. Very lucky.
Ellie tapped you, and a tag emerged on the screen with your name. Pretty name, of course. Private account — much to her disappointment.
It would be totally inappropriate to follow you, right? Her customers girlfriend. Ellie clicked her own profile, gazing at it thoughtfully. Her profile picture was a black screen, and she had zero pictures up on her account. She had a considerable amount of followers, given her reputation but she didn’t follow many back — just a few very loyal customers, and her best friends Jesse and Dina. It would be weird to follow you right? Yes. Very weird, Ellie. She closed out the app, and pretty much forgot about it.
It was always the same exchange with Louis. He turned up, either unannounced or 2 hours late — burp, demand weed whilst barely sparing Ellie a glance or a thank you, and then head out. She didn’t always mind — not being a huge fan of small talk anyway, though she could do without the burp. He’d had texted earlier in the day, asking — no, telling Ellie that he would be passing by to pick up his usual ‘at some point’. A quiet knock rapt at the door around 02:23PM. Ellie swung the door open, coming face to face with you.
“Hi… Ellie?” You smiled. Hopeful, sweet, even prettier in person. You were wearing a little sundress with the cheap thin material that hugged every curve on your body, and if she stared a little longer like she wanted to she’d start to border on creepy. Ellie cleared her throat, fighting out a greeting and praying it would come out relatively normal.
“Yeah.” Was what she landed on. Whatever, play it cool. Pretend you didn’t try and stalk her Instagram.
“Louis isn’t coming, the weed is for me and he told me where to buy from, so… hi.” You grinned before telling her your name like she didn’t already know it.
“Hey. I’m Ellie.” And with that, she stepped aside and let you in.
It was like you brought the sunshine in from outside with you, because as soon as you stepped into her room Ellie felt too warm in her grey hoodie. She pushed the sleeves up as your eyes flickered around her dorm, realised she felt stupid and pushed them back down.
“How much you want?” She was pulling out the metal box from her drawer, glancing up at you as your brows furrowed unsurely — thinking as you tugged at your glossed lip. Ellie tried not to stare.
“Uh—” You breathed, and it relaxed Ellie slightly to see that you seemed more nervous than she did somewhat— just for a different reason. “Louis told me to just ask for what he usually gets? I’m sorry, I’ve never bought my own weed before.” You cringed, and then cringed again at the word choice. Ellie smiled fade into a soft chuckle with a nod that said ‘I bet you haven’t.’ She should have guessed, when did pretty girls ever buy their own weed?
“You’re good. I know what his usual is.” Ellie reassured, digging around in the nuggets. She pulled a couple out, placing them down on her scale before bagging them up. You held out your hand unsurely, and she pressed the plastic baggie into it. Your mouth opened to say something, and Ellie’s hand froze above yours as she watched you — trying to work out what might be wrong. “What? Is this not…”
“No, sorry. It’s perfect. I assume. I’m not sure. I just… I don’t know how to roll these. Lou told me to buy my own weed seeing as I am the one who wanted to smoke and — it’s okay. I’ll just Google it.” You shook your head, feeling your cheeks turn warm at your own rambling. Ellie stopped you as you went to shove the baggie into her pocket with a calm smile, raising her eyebrows as if to say ‘Hey, it’s okay. Chill.’
“I can roll it for you. It’s no biggie.”
You visibly relaxed, and Ellie could tell because of the way your chest collapsed slightly, not suffocating your tits against the material of your dress anymore which she couldn’t help but glance at as you looked away. “Thanks. Sorry.” You guffawed, your embarrassment seeming a little relieved as you stepped back, leaning against her desk as she pulled her chair and tray out to do the rolling.
“Louis not buying your weed for you?” She conversed, eyes on the rolling paper as she carefully packed it. Your head snapped towards her, realising that you were the one who blabbed that. Her eyes glanced up at you briefly when you didn’t immediately answer.
“No. It’s… okay though.” You justified, a mass of shame swirling just below your rib cage. You didn’t wanna talk shit about your boyfriend to a stranger, even if the stranger had a totally welcoming vibe about her — and your boyfriend was cheap. Ellie tsk’d lightheartedly, shaking her head. “Against the rules, man.” She comment quietly.
“What rules?” You furrowed your brows defensively as she continued packing.
“You don’t let your girl buy her own weed?” She repeat obviously. Something about the way she said it made the embarrassment in your stomach dissipate into butterflies, which widened your eyes slightly at the disloyal feeling.
“Oh.”
Silence for a beat or two as Ellie concentrate. You notice the lesbian flag on her pinboard.
“It’ll probably just be me and my friends that smoke it anyway. The weathers nice so we’ll be at one of those frat pool parties… You don’t go to those?” You tilt your head, and her eyes lingered on you as you did so at the sugary sweetness in your gesture. God, you made her teeth hurt.
“Nah. I hear those things get weird and horny. Straight people… no offence.” She glances towards you once more, the ‘no offence’ holding little to no weight. Ellie didn’t seem like the type to give a shit about offence, anyways.
“I’m bisexual, but I understand.” You giggle, pushing yourself back to sit more on her desk, swinging your legs as you watch her roll. Her fingers froze for just a moment, before she continued rolling.
“Oh yeah?” She conversed, absolutely despising how a flame of hope flickered in her chest. Nope. Not doing this again.
“Yeah, actually I…” You chuckled. “I started college with the hopes of finding a girlfriend. Things just… didn’t end up that way I guess.” You shrugged, and you seemed happy enough but Ellie could sense the disappointment buried deep.
“Huh.” Ellie let out as she licked the rolling paper, firmly closing it up. She kind of hoped you were watching her as she did so. You weren’t. “You know if you squint really hard Louis could be a lesbian.”
“Really?” You raise an eyebrow.
“Nope.” Ellie pushed her chair back, standing. You chuckled and she smirked, pushing the two pre rolls she’d made into a bigger baggie and then presenting them to you. “This gonna be enough?”
“Oh yeah, I’m a total lightweight.” You giggled girlishly and she nodded, stuffing her hands into her pockets as she watched you fish around in your purse, unzipping an inside pocket to stuff the rolls inside.
“Cute.” She let slip with a smile, and your heart fluttered a little. You berated yourself for that silently.
“What extra do I owe you? Do you charge for rolling or… I don’t know how this usually works.” You pulled out your pink zip up wallet, the zip a glittery jewel between your fingers.
“Nah. No extra charge.” She held her hands up and you raised your eyebrows in surprise. That was a lie. She did usually charge extra for that, but one thing about Ellie was that she was a sucker for the pretty girl discount.
“Really?” And out came the doe eyes, your dark heavy eyelashes weighty above your pretty eyes as you looked up at her in awe. It was Ellie’s hearts turn to flutter.
“Really.” She smirked, not breaking eye contact (much to her surprise) as she pinched the cash payment from you between her pointer and middle finger knuckles, only swallowing down the giddiness when your fingers brushed hers. You grinned, zipping your wallet back up and tucking it away, feet tapping on the floor a little like you just couldn’t contain your excitement (Which made Ellie want to squeeze you.)
“I know you said it’s not your thing, but you should come to one of the pool parties. Most of the time the people there are cool. It’ll be good for business.” You wiggled your eyebrows which made Ellie’s smile uncontainable, teeth actually on display now which she honestly never did. No one was ever funny or cute enough.
“Maybe.” She rolled her eyes with a smile, walking you towards her door.
“They happen every weekend. Would be cool to see you there.” You fixed your bag over your shoulder before turning back to her. “Nice to meet you, Ellie. You’ll be seeing more of me.” You nodded formally, and the auburn haired girl tore her eyes away from the visible band of your underwear through the material of the dress when you looked back at her, muttering a “Good.”
Ellie always came away from these kind of things wishing she said more. She knew you had a boyfriend, but something about you seemed more curious. Like you weren’t totally against the idea of flirting back. Maybe it was all in her head because of the stupid crush she’d already developed. She didn’t understand it, how could someone like you feel fulfilled by someone like him. Ellie would never let you pay for your own weed, she’d treat you right. She had the means to be able to spoil you, which she didn’t need proof to know that Louis didn’t. Hell, he couldn’t even pay for his girls weed — Ellie knew stingy when she saw it. He probably wasn’t even making you cum. Not like Ellie could anyway, but then again who could? She’d like to think she had a gift — but maybe it was a guitarist-fingers thing, and years of deftly rolling tight joints.
Ellie shook her head free of the thought — sure she was a little grey-moralled — but thinking about finger fucking one of your customers girlfriends on a sunny afternoon felt a little wrong even for her. She was heading off to meet Dina to exchange notes for a class she missed, again just about willing herself to stay focused this semester. The two of them chat over coffee, the notes barely touched as the two friends joked around. When a pensive silence filled the space between them, Ellie spoke up — picking at a hangnail in a way she hoped was casual.
“You ever been to those campus pool parties? The ones at that douchey frat house?” She shrugged, glancing up at her darker haired friend.
“Uh, yeah. Like once or twice.” Dina frowned before snickering, raising a doubtful eyebrow. “What, you interested? You don’t even enjoy regular parties, hermit.”
Ellie’s jaw dropped slightly in offence, letting out a scoff before taking a sip of her coffee — still scalding hot on her tongue. “Excuse me. I’d be there strictly on business. I heard it’s… I was told I should go.” She explained. Dina’s smirk deepened, eyes lowering into slits.
“Who is she?”
“Why do you assume this is about a girl?” She rolled her jewelled eyes, before glancing around the cafe just incase anyone was listening to her pathetic segue into talking about you.
“Because last time I suggested you come with me and Jesse you nearly threw a textbook at my head.” Dina argued, making Ellie sit back in her seat, looking away in defeat as she crossed her arms over her light grey hoodie.
“She’s got a boyfriend. So it doesn’t matter. Just said it would be good for business and… the customer is always right, so I’ve been told.” Ellie rushed out, Dina’s shoulders dropping with a pitying look.
“Oh Ellie. Why put yourself through that?”
“She’s bi — okay stop. This isn’t about her. I was just asking. Fuckin’… forget it.” Ellie flipped the page of her notes now, going to scribble down what Dina had written to get her mind off the conversation.
“Alright, alright.” Her friends held up her hands. “Defensive.”
Ellie didn’t see Louis much from that point on. Same time, every week — you would be on her doorstep. Ellie wasn’t sure if it was just out of convenience, or maybe you had wanted to see her. You had the same spritely, sunshine attitude each time you stepped into her dorm — lighting it up with your smile and your pretty dresses. The auburn haired dealers heart was beginning to ache in a painfully familiar way. An unrequited crush, a girl she couldn’t have. She wished she could say this was the first time she’d crushed on a girl with a boyfriend — but that would be a lie.
Each time you left, the giddiness would fade out into a prickly, warm and uncomfortable anger settling in at the pit of her stomach. Occasionally, you’d let slip the way Louis treat you — and if you didn’t say it, she could tell by the look on your face when his name would come up. Your classes were stressing you out, hence needing her weed to unwind in the first place, and your boyfriend was doing nothing to ease your anxiety, instead choosing to go out and get wasted with his friends each night. You deserved better, and she knew it wasn’t her place to say but shit, it was killing her. You were killing her. She could treat you better.
From outside the frat house, she could hear music, laughter, and water splashing from down the street. Ellie stood with Dina and Jesse, already regretting her decision.
“Fuck this. I’m turning around.” Ellie attempted to swivel, but Jesse grabbed her arm.
“No you’re not. You’re here to sell, remember? Got a friend with money, said he’d pay you good.” He gave her a light shove towards the door, Dina rolling her eyes at the two’s antics. Ellie felt overdressed, wearing her short sleeved blue worn denim shirt unbuttoned over a wife beater and shorts with her Converse, pockets stuffed with pre-rolls gifting her that usual marijuana infused smell that followed her around that said ‘Hey everyone! I’m a dealer!’ Upon stepping out into the backyard, it was clear what kind of party it was. The sun was still shining, and people seemed pretty drunk already — jumping off the low roof and into the pool, girls on the outskirts squealing in their bikinis. The floor was practically vibrating with the bass from a Drake song and the sun was sizzling the back of Ellie’s neck — recipe for a headache, she thought. She’d sell her shit, and get out.
She knew you’d be here. In the back of her mind she knew. And yet, her heart still damn near thudded out her chest when you were suddenly right in front of her, arms extended with a big toothy grin. Ellie had almost panicked, not ready for the confrontation. She hadn’t even gotten herself a drink yet, hadn’t even smoked yet and here you were. You were wearing a white bikini and it looks so pretty against your soft skin. She was looking at your tits again.
Ah, shit.
“Ellie! M’so happy you came! I didn’t think I’d ever see you at one of these!” You all but squealed, throwing your arms around her neck and pulling your body taut against hers. Ellie didn’t have to look at Dina and Jesse to know that their eyebrows were practically in their hairline, taking in the scene in front of them. Your bikini top was damp still clearly having taken a dip in the pool earlier, along with the ends of your hair and she felt the wet triangles pressing damp spots into her own chest, your tits pressed up against her. You even had the nerve to let out a happy little ‘mmph’ moan as your body collided with hers. Were you really that happy to see her? God, if I had a dick right now, it would be rock fuckin’ hard. Thank fuck I don’t, Ellie thought— eyes opening again, not realising that she had squeezed them shut to suppress a moan when she’d hugged you back.
“Uh, yeah! Told you I’d consider it.” She tried to play it cool when she pulled back, taking in your giggly expression. You didn’t let go of her arm as you pulled away, and a waft of alcohol drifted through to Ellie’s nose, suddenly helping her understand the situation a little better. You were pretty drunk, but where was your boyfriend? Ellie scanned behind you, searching for his brunette mop only to be met with several dozens of them. Great. She felt a spike of anger in her chest again, violently protective. Who just leaves their girl wandering around in a bikini, drunk, at a frat party? “Wheres your little boyfriend?” Her expression flattened out, and she caught herself. She didn’t mean for it to come out like… that. Luckily, you were drunk enough to not notice the bitterness in her tone.
“Louis? Oh— uh…” Your bottom lip stuck out as you spun around on your tiptoes to see over heads, scanning the yard for him before spinning back with a shrug. You dropped back down onto the balls of your feet and your tits bounced in Ellie’s peripheral vision. “Who knows.” You giggle, eyes jumping to Ellie’s two friends, silently watching with amused smirks.
“Oh, uh— these are my friends. Dragged me along here. Dina,” She pointed. “And Jesse.” He gave you a little wave.
“Hi!” You chirped with an adorable little wave, before telling them your own name. “I’m not usually this…uh—”
“Drunk?” Ellie leant forward quietly with a smirk, like it was a secret just between the two of you. You giggled, turning back to her, introductions long forgotten as your face morphed into a theatric pout, blown out puppy dog eyes and all.
“Who says I’m drunk? Maybe I’m just really friendly.” You practically pur, suggestiveness dripping off your tone as your hand pulled her by her arm just that little bit closer, soft fingertips over her tattoo. Just as Ellie scrambled for an answer — your name was called in a familiar voice. Louis.
“Babe, there you are.” He sounded irritated, and Ellie straightened her back, jaw squaring ever so slightly. Be friendly, Ellie. He’s a customer — she remind herself. A shitty one, but he still pays you.
“Oh…” He took Ellie in, eyes jumping over her attire before glancing back at you. She just admit, she did look violently lesbian that day — and the body language between her and his girl wasn’t looking all too great to fresh eyes. “Hey.”
You reluctantly let go of Ellie’s arm, which didn’t go unnoticed by the brunette boy.
“I was just catching up with Ellie!” You grinned, and God — were you aware of just how flirtatious you looked batting your eyelashes up at her like that? In front of your boyfriend?
“Yeah, I see that.” Louis’ eyes didn’t leave Ellie’s, which of course she took as a competition without even thinking. She took a step closer, eyes narrowing ever so slightly. She stood around 5’7. Taller when she wore boots. Taller if she fixed her posture. He wasn’t much taller than her, so she pretty much met his eye. Her heart skipped a few beats knowing you were watching her, but she held his gaze anyway— tilting her chin up a little. “Thanks for looking after my girl.” He spoke, which almost made Ellie want to laugh.
“Any time.” Eye to eye, the smirk that tugged at her lips held more meaning and the two of you knew it. Oh, she’d look after you alright. Louis’ eyes flickered away, glancing over at Dina and Jesse before back to her, stepping away and putting an arm around your shoulder.
“Come watch me play beer pong?” He spoke to you and you shrugged happily, taking the drink out of his hand and sipping. The freckled dealer couldn’t help but briefly think about how if you were with her she would have cut you off by this point, wrapping an arm around your waist and telling you that you’d had enough to drink, maybe suggest grabbing you a water. As he lead you away, you craned in his hold to wave at Ellie, who waved a few fingers back— watching closely. It was a casual crush before, but now it was on. She didn’t like Louis’ smugness, nor his general attitude or the way he was neglecting you. She had to take you and leave him with nothing. No, Ellie. You’re being like him. She’s not a piece of meat. But she knew the protectiveness didn’t stem from that. Did she think about you sexually? Yeah. But she could give you more than that. You were a sweet girl, and you should be treated as such.
“That was tense.” Dina raised her eyebrows, breaking the auburn haired girls concentration, her gaze snapping back to her friends.
“Oh, uh — he’s fuckin’… weird. I dunno. I give him my shitty weed.” She shrugged it off, looking over her shoulder once more to watch you disappear inside.
“I get it now, though. She’s a total smoke show.” Dina dropped her hand onto Ellie’s shoulder who sighed, shaking off the whole interaction.
“Whatever. I need a drink.” Ellie rolled her eyes, stepping away.
“She was hot.”
“Jesse, it’s okay when I say it. Not when you say it.”
“What? You just called her a smoke show! You’ve never called me that.”
Ellie left the bickering couple behind to find a beer, needing something cool and alcoholic to wind her down. Why was she getting so possessive over someone that wasn’t hers? You were making her feel like a creep, and she didn’t like that. Ellie did not catch feelings easily, despite her past mistakes. So like… what the fuck?
She didn’t see you for two weeks.
Maybe you’d realised you shouldn’t be giving her the eyes. Maybe Louis stepped up his game, who knows. Neither of you had even purchased any weed, and it was approaching exam season so Ellie knew you were stressed. But did she know? Was it presumptuous of her to ‘know’ how you feel?Just based off several occurrences and conversations when you’d come to her dorm to pick up? She tried to shake the feeling of you, your skin grazing hers and your pretty eyes staring up at her — and it was actually working. Maybe time does heal everything. Until of course, she went to the library and the clocks reversed on themselves.
She had to admit, she was falling a little behind in her work. She had gotten so preoccupied in selling that she had almost forgotten to be, well… a student. Her backpack was making her shoulder sore so she switched it to the other as she wandered through the building, fairly quiet for a Tuesday. She felt a pit of irritation bud inside her when she saw someone sat in the seat she wanted, the one that was away from everyone else in the library. She note the pink laptop case, the Hello Kitty stickers on the water bottle, the bracelets on the protruding arm. Oh, it was you.
Ellie was planning to walk on by. You’re here to do work, not flirt or get yourself involved in some kind of sapphic shenanigan. Your head was on the desk, and she figured you had fallen asleep — which almost made her smile fondly before she caught herself. Not yours, Ellie. As she stepped away however, she heard a sniffle. Then another. Ellie froze, willing herself not to do it. It’s not your responsibility Ellie, you can walk away and pretend you never saw. She pursed her lips, turning around anyway.
As she did so, you were lifting your head from the table, wiping your cheeks and nose of tears. You had this pitiful pout on your face, streaming eyes all pink and glossy and your nostrils damp in this oddly adorable way. Ellie still had time to creep away, but she didn’t. She couldn’t.
“You uh… you good?” She stood awkwardly, making you snap your head towards her in surprise. She didn’t miss the way your eyes widened slightly in embarrassment at seeing a familiar face in such a vulnerable moment.
“Oh — Ellie. Um, yes. I’m fine.” You tried, but when you held her doubtful gaze — your lip wobbled again.
“Okay.” Ellie sighed after a beat, pulling up a seat and dragging it to your small table. Yep, she was doing this. “Talk to me.” She spoke in a hushed tone. She was so gentle with her voice and her eyes and her general demeanour — something you weren’t so used to — it soothed you enough to calm you for a moment and you revelled in the unfamiliar but warm feeling she brought you.
“I don’t wanna bore you with it.” You shook your head with an demure chuckle. Ellie wanted to reach forward and wipe your tears away, her hands itched on the table in-front of her instead.
“We’re literally in the library. I promise you that nothing is more boring than my text-book.” She raised an eyebrow with the attempts of making you laugh. Instead, you watched her for a moment. Ellie could tell you were wondering why she was being so nice to you. Does she treat all her customers this way?
“It’s… stupid. Louis just…” You sigh, as if the mere mention of his name makes you cringe. “We’re not that serious. So… I don’t care what he goes off and does in his spare time,” Interesting, Ellie noted. “But he gets really mad. And when he gets mad he gets mean. I guess I just need thicker skin.” Your voice cracked.
“Or you need to be with someone who’s not an asshole.” Ellie snipped before she got the chance to stop herself. Your eyes met hers again, a little wide in shock. “Sorry.” She closed her eyes, collecting herself. You blinked and two fat tears rolled down your cheeks.
“It’s… okay.” You whispered, playing with your bracelet. A silence sat between you two, just the sound of quiet shuffling in the library and your sniffs.
“Look, don’t let him get to you. You don’t… deserve that.” She shook her head and you nodded slowly, accepting. It was as if Louis were purposely giving her more reason to dislike him, and it was getting harder to hide her distaste for him. Snide comments were slipping out more frequently, Shit — she could barely even contain her facial expressions when his name was mentioned. Something had to be done soon, because she didn’t know how much ‘pretending’ she had left in her. Thankfully, the two of you seemed to have developed a bit of a friendship — so she felt less guilty about bashing your boyfriend, as you seemed understanding due to his often unlikeable ways.
“You done here soon?” Ellie looked around at the library. You wiped your cheek, hitting save on your laptop and shrugging.
“Didn’t really have any work to do, just didn’t know where to go.” You pout sadly, making Ellie have to dig her nails into her seat this time so that she didn’t lean forward and kiss it off you.
“Y’wanna smoke? On me. You need cheering up.” She stood up, swinging her backpack back on, studying long forgotten. You looked up at her hopefully, a glint of reluctance in your eye. You didn’t know why it felt wrong, you weren’t technically doing anything wrong. Just two friends hanging out, right? Louis wouldn’t know that you’re attracted to her. You wasn’t even sure if Louis remembered that you were bisexual for Gods sake, despite telling him a whole bunch of times.
“Really? I can pay you Ellie…” Your eyebrows knit together, and she was already shaking her head.
“My treat. I don’t like seeing pretty girls cry. Makes me wanna cry. You want me to cry?” She joked, pointing at herself in disbelief. She felt relief at the giggle that made its way out your throat, covering your mouth as to not disturb the other library goers. Pretty girls. The words echoed around your head until your face was hot before it dropped into your stomach and made a nest there.
“Okay.” You agreed after a moment. What harm could it do? Louis was an asshole, and the guilt began to slip away as you stood up — remembering all the nasty things he’d said to you.
“Alright, good.” Ellie grinned, turning her face away for a moment so maybe you wouldn’t see how excited she was. You did.
_
“Thats a terrible first high story.” You giggled, taking a draw from the joint.
“What? Fuck you let’s hear yours then!” Ellie gaped, leaning forward from her seat on her bed to take the joint from you as you exhaled. You bit back your smile, letting your pink, watery eyes sail off in thought at you recalled your first time smoking.
“Kay, so… I was 17.” You staged dramatically, widening your eyes slightly as she smirked at your theatrics, leaning back with her eyes glued to you. If you weren’t so blazed, maybe you’d feel nervous under her simmering gaze. “Best friends brother let us smoke some in the backyard with his friends. I tried to play it cool, but I smoked too much and start laughing and I couldn’t stop. Like — it was painful, and I was scared because I couldn’t stop laughing. And they were all looking at me like what the fuck… so I went inside, tried to calm myself down and I threw up on the carpet. Like a distressed cat.” You pouted lightheartedly as Ellie chuckled along with your story.
“Threw up? How strong was the weed? Damn.” She laughed and you shook your head.
“It might have been the shots we’d done before hand to calm our nerves. Bad idea.” You cringed and she nodded, eyes still piercing into you as her laughter died down.
“That might’ve been it, yeah.”
A comfortable silence fell over the two of you as she brought the joint to her lips once again, sucking in as she inhaled the pungent smoke. Ellie always got this confidence about her when she smoked. Well — she always had this slightly cocky demeanour about her, but for the most part it was an act. A need to protect herself. A defence mechanism that helped her get by — being a dealer was a social ass job. But smoking made that feeling real. She knew that was bad, relying on weed for real confidence and all, but hey — she’ll take what she can get.
“How you feeling? Any better?” She tested the waters, almost sorry she brought it up when you remembered Louis’ existence, expression melting a little into one of slight disappointment. One that said ‘Oh yeah… him.’ Like you’d forgotten for a moment.
“I guess. Not gonna let it bother me like you said. I don’t have the energy.” You shrugged, tearing your gaze away to study your baby pink manicure instead. Ellie scoffed out a little chuckle, finally stubbing out the joint. The noise attracted your attention and you met her analytical stare.
“Can I… ask what you see in that guy? Not judging just… curious.” She held her hands up in defence, but you didn’t exactly jump to his rescue. Infact it took you a moment to think about it.
“I don’t…” You stop yourself from saying ‘I don’t know’, your pride still burning despite the weed letting your guard down. “He’s… nice most of the time. Kinda guy your parents want you to bring home. He’s not as bad as he seems around other people. I guess he makes me feel wanted when we’re together?” You consider, but the way you say it makes Ellie think that you don’t even fully believe it. “I think… it was gonna be just sex. When I first met him anyway, but if I’m being totally honest the sex isn’t worth it on its own so I dunno… I thought I’d feel more fulfilled by a commitment, you know?”
Ellie was delighted, to be honest. It was music to her ears. You were just spewing about how unfulfilled you were, and she was starting to feel more and more confident that she could convince you that there was a bigger and better world out there. She laughed, openly — letting the joy of the moment go to her head for a minute.
“Oh that’s funny?” You giggled back, chucking a small brown sentimental looking teddy bear at her from her bed. You pursed your lips and she could tell despite your laughter you were knocked slightly insecure by her reaction.
“A little.” She looks off to the side. You want to chuck something else at her but there’s nothing to throw.
“Why?” You push. You know why.
“Your boyfriend can’t fuck.” Her stomach tensed as another laugh bubbled up and you rolled your eyes theatrically, pushing yourself up just so you can dramatically change your position to face the other way on the bed, arms crossed and brow creased.
“Not opening up to you again.” You push out and she nudges you gently with her foot, a more sympathetic (yet equally amused) expression still at the surface.
“No, I’m sorry. Go on.” She waved her a hand a little in the smoky room, nudging you again with her sock covered toe.
“Thats it! There’s nothing else to it. My boyfriend can’t fuck and it sucks. I hate everything.” You complain, not daring to face her. She can’t help but burst out laughing again, the back of her head leaning back to rest on the wooden headboard as she runs a hand over her eyes, shielding herself from the bright dorm light, and you. She lets out an ‘ahhh’ at the end of her outburst.
She hears you whine her name, and she takes more pity on you this time purely because you sound so cute.
“Alright uh— tell me what he’s doing wrong. I’ll give you pointers to give to him so he can fix his shit.” She tries suddenly, as if just being struck by the idea — and she feels you slowly look at her. She pushes her chin down to her chest, looking at you now as she removes her hand from her eyes. You blink at her a couple of times, still pretty, still high as a kite.
You inhale through your nose, eyes drifting off in thought as you turn back towards her, invested, tucking your feet beneath your ass. You hum, coming up blank. “I don’t know. I feel like… you either got it or you don’t, you know? Sex is… emotional. Well, it should be. To him it’s just… getting off.” You shrug, opting to pick at a loose thread on her grey bed throw than look at her. The smirk is still dying on her lips like the slither of sunlight resting on water at the culmination of a sunset. She takes a little longer to think, brain fogged by her high.
“So… okay.” She pushes her palms into the bed to sit up a little more. “What do you like? I don’t really pin you as someone who… wants to be in control.” She analyses, watching you carefully for a reaction. She notices the flick up of your eyebrows and guesses — correct.
“With him there’s no… no one is in control. It’s not one person calling the shots or any kind of dynamic it’s just… we just fuck and that’s it.” You sound sad this time, like bringing the conversation to forefront was making you realised just how unhappy you were.
“Do you cum?” She asks abruptly, and you nearly choke on your own saliva. You think it catches her off guard too, because she looks away from you for a moment and itches her head before deciding fuck it, and goes back to staring. You bite your lip. Well there was that one time, you were on your back — Louis on top, you had a hand pressed between the two of you, rubbing your clit in quick sloppy circles as he got busy. Your eyes were closed. Did you cum? Kind of? Your eyes were closed. You were somewhere else. Somewhere softer and warmer, and it didn’t smell like beer and sweat. You shake your head, no. It was the closest time though, but Louis got all hostile about you touching yourself during sex. Said it was insulting, that you undermined him. You shook off the memory.
“No?” She whispers, eyebrows raised to the high heavens as if she just couldn’t fathom having sex and not making her partner cum — because that’s exactly what she was doing. She felt that hot tingling anger again in her chest, but it was dulled out by the weed — leaving her with just a light irritation at the back of her throat. “Thats fucked up.”
“Is it? I mean… orgasms take time. Doesn’t just happen in five minutes… that can get exhausting.” You defend, and you’re not sure why. You both know there’s no excuse.
“Nah.” She sniffs, not quite bothered to begin on how wrong you are. She switches the subject slightly instead. “So let me guess, missionary everytime?”
Your eyes widen, pressing your fingers over your lips to stop the childish giggle from bursting out. Ellie’s eyes widen too, realising how, well — down bad she was acting. She felt like a teenage boy on Snapchat playing truth or dare asking an uninterested girl if she’d ever send nudes before.
“Uh— fuck, you don’t have to answer that. Just making conversatio—”
“Most of the time. I think…” You decide to share something to make her feel less invasive, not wanting the conversation to end. You actually enjoyed getting to talk someone about this. “I think I’d feel good on top, maybe. But, hmm. How do I put this?” You thought. You looked at her for a moment and she gazed back, waiting on you to continue. Her breath caught in her throat when you crawled up toward her. “Lay back, please?” It was a request, not a command — and Ellie thought she might be dreaming when you straddled her with a frustrated expression.
You settled, and she was hyper aware of the feeling of your pillowy ass dropped down onto her thighs over her warm crotch.
“Okay, say I’m here. In this position.” You explain as well as you can, and when you give a few demonstrative bounces on her phantom cock her hands instinctively land on your hips to steady you. Fuck. Fucking shit. You don’t even seem to notice, or care. “This,” You point at your position. “Is me being in charge and… I don’t want that. It— it doesn’t get me off. I don’t wanna feel like I’m dominating them.” You whisper the last part like you’re telling her a secret at a girly sleepover, and she catches herself grinning before she scrambles, running over what you just said in her brain.
“Wait. Nah, that’s…” She adjusts herself slightly sheepish because she can feel herself blushing. Be cool, Ellie. Be dominant. “Thats bull. It doesn’t matter what position you’re in, it’s about how you make them feel.” She shrugs, and when you continue to stare at her, pink, glossy wide eyes— she carries on, you requiring more explanation. “If you’re on top working overtime, he should be telling you what a good job you’re doin’. How pretty you look doin’ it.” Her voices rasps in the way it does when she gets horny and she hopes she’s not giving herself away. Your mind goes a little blank, succumbing to the daydream of receiving that kind of praise. It makes your skin feel clammy. Louis isn’t below you in your daydream. Your freckled friend breaks your trail of thoughts. “And,” She’s smug now, and raises her knees behind you, planting her feet down on the bed and thrusting upwards a few times making you bounce a little, gripping her tighter. “Doesn’t matter if you were on top. I could still be the one fucking you. Just like this.”
You pause, only because you’re frozen in fear that she can feel the sudden floodgates open between your legs— praying to every God imaginable that you don’t leave some kind of pathetic wet patch on her. She thinks you’ve frozen at what she’s said.
“Uh— I mean Louis. Louis could still be the one— yeah.” She shrugs off, squeezing your hips with her warm fingers and you’re suddenly aware of your compromising position again, shaken from a dream. You slide off her quickly, bringing your knees to your chest and your back to the cool wall beside her bed. You were not a cheater. It doesn’t matter that the two of you didn’t kiss, or fuck, or whatever — what would have happened if Louis had walked in and seen you in your very gay dealers lap, pretending to have sex? You were not a cheater.
Ellie’s mouth was agape, like she wanted to say sorry but just couldn’t find it in her to feel sorry enough to say it. Her eyes were worried however, worried she’d made you uncomfortable or pushed it too far.
“I should… I shouldn’t stay. It’s getting late and—” You started looking for your bag with your laptop in it, where did you put it again?
“I’m sorry I— I didn’t mean to be weird. That was… I made you feel—” Her tone was apologetic now.
“No, no. It’s not that. I’m just hungry and I get weird when I’m… when I haven’t eaten. You’re fine. I mean, you were fine. Nothing weird just… friends hanging out, right?”
It hurt her, but Ellie nodded anyway. You were going back to him. It always ended this way.
“‘Kay. You got everything? You gonna be okay getting back? You’re still high.” Ellie stood, awkwardly dawdling behind you as you scooped up your purse. “I can walk you back—” She started patting her pockets for her key card.
“It’s okay, really. It’s still light outside and it’s a short walk. I think I need just… fresh air and quiet.” You avoid her eyes, but turn to face her as you back towards her door.
“Okay.” She was disappointed. “I hope you feel better now, ‘n stuff.” Your hand pushed the cold metal handle down and the hallway of her building was just as muggy, but it felt like a relief when some of the smoke from her dorm was released.
“I do.” You could look now, standing in the hallway as she didn’t move past her doorway. The distance made it safe enough to look at her pretty eyes without feeling you were going to do something bad. “Thank you Ellie. I owe you one.” Your brows knit together sincerely. Sure, I have a favour I need — break up with your boyfriend.
“Sure.” Ellie left it there, shook her head like it was nothing. “Text me and just… let me know that you got in okay. Yeah?” She continued to speak to you as you backed up down the hallway, awkwardly fumbling with your bag. It was wrong to let a girl walk back home high and alone. She thought about you walking around drunk and alone at that frat party. She was Louis this time.
“Will do. See you, Ellie.” Her name sounded like music when you said it. She had a new favourite song.
Your dorm was cooler, refreshing to be in when you got back. Your first mission was to look in the mirror and you sighed almost angrily seeing how flustered and a little dishevelled you look. You wanted to take the clothes off that touched her, still stinking of weed. You wanted food in your belly to flush her out. Flopping onto your back on your bed you pull your phone out, ignoring the texts and calls from your boyfriend — all to send a message to your dealer.
‘got back safe, thanks again😊’ You regret the emoji, but the Read: 5:13PM was immediate so there was no time to regret it for long. Three bubbles and then ‘Good’. You stare at the text, and then stare past the phone. You didn’t want to answer Louis right now. He could wait until tomorrow.
part two
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