#dean season one my beloved

[stonenumberone]

What's his name? Winchester. Sam Winchester. Like the rifle? Like the rifle.

[bloodydeanwinchester]

🩸Bloody Dean Every Episode🩸 ↳ 1x18 || Something Wicked

[archivistsammy]

@winchestergifs 5kparty day 5: thursday, october 13 ➙ fave season

season seven rights

[shyshitter]

they were literally too young to be marshals

edit: w*ncesties dni bc god forbid i draw salmon dean without w*ncesties interacting

[quietwingsinthesky]

there’s actual good fights you could point out where Dean does put his foot down and it’s completely justified, even if only from his point of view. why would you bring up the amy thing instead of literally anything else.

[lazrisings]

sooo funny to me in post-canon fics where sam is the one who’s like 🥺pwease can we quit hunting 👉👈 i want to get a normcore job and move to the suburbs with eileen🥺🥺 like ok season one pack it up

[ocdeans]

i really thought the baby dean nonverbal trauma response thing was fanon but im rewatching s1 and he surely did.......... what a program.......

[vendettasfanfictioning]

SUPERNATURAL SEASON 5 EPISODE 4: THE END. My beloved Supernatural Season 5 Episode 4: The End. You and your sexual tension and your, "woah, you're not you, not now you," and your, "me and him? It's a pretty messed up situation we got going," and your, "what? I like past you," and your, "you're gonna send your friends through the meat grinder? Cas too?" and your, "never change, Cas."

YOU and your two Deans who pissed off one another and fought. Your 2009 Dean who brought up Cas dying and it's the only thing that made 2014 Dean look away like maybe he couldn't keep up appearances for too long lest he cracked. Your destiel and your proof of Dean's growing love for Castiel. I love you Supernatural Season 5 Episode 4: The End!!!!!

[mind-empty-just-fictional-people]

Birthday Pie

main masterlist | supernatural masterlist

SPOILERS! set between seasons 7 and 8 of supernatural, there are spoilers for both these seasons

summary: you celebrate his birthday even when he’s gone

pairing: dean winchester x female reader

rating: R for language

word count: 0.9k

warnings: sad, not at all a happy birthday for our beloved lil guy, language

author’s note: i’m sorry, okay? i’ve had this idea in my head for months and decided that today is a good day to release it? anyway, happy 45th birthday dean winchester! love you and very glad you’re alive and well and the series finale never happened! :)

January 24th, 2013 — Dean’s 34th Birthday.

You were barely able to drag yourself out of bed and into the living room where you were now seated and watching TV. It didn’t matter what was on, you weren’t paying attention anyway. Your mind was completely focused on Dean. Your beloved Dean; who shouldn’t be wherever the fuck he was but instead safe in your arms.

He shouldn’t be spending his birthday terrified, missing you and his brother. He should be spending it with you, Sam, and Cas.

Sure, he wasn’t really the birthday party type of guy but each year since you met him you’d gotten him a pie and put candles in it for him to blow out. It’d started as a half-assed attempt to put a smile on his face when you learned it was his birthday and you couldn’t find a cake at the store.

He’d loved it.

“How’d you know I’d rather have pie?” he had asked, his face lighting up even more when you put two candles—a two and a four—in the center.

“I…had a feeling.” You had shrugged it off as not a big deal but deep down you both knew how much it meant to him.

And each year since then—come rain, shine, monsters, or the apocalypse—you made it your job to get Dean Winchester a pie on his birthday.

A few tears rolled down your cheeks, joining the half-dried ones there already. You hadn’t been sad on Dean’s birthday since his year before hell. But it was different then, you had him next to you and you were savoring every second. You might have been terrified of what would soon happen, but you were still with him.

**

“If you’re not already aware, Dean,” Castiel started, “you turn thirty-four today.”

“What?” Dean asked, confused. “Cas we—”

“Granted time seems to be passing differently here, but on earth it is currently your birthday.”

“Happy birthday, brother,” Benny joked.

“Yeah real fuckin’ happy,” Dean scoffed. “We’re stuck killing our way through this fuckin’ nightmare while the love of my life is spending my birthday alone.”

“I’m sure she’s okay, Dean,” Cas assured him. “She has Sam, he’ll look after her until we get back.”

“No, you don’t get it. Birthdays were…they were our thing, if that makes any goddamn sense.”

**

“Happy birthday, Dean,” you smiled, placing the pie in front of him.

“Twenty-six! God, that sounds old,” Dean laughed a little.

“You’re kidding right?” you asked after singing for him as he blew out the candles.

“What?”

“Twenty six may sound old to you, but trust me you are still fuckin’ adorable.”

“I am, aren’t I?” He grinned.

“You wanna do the honors, cutie?” you asked, handing him the kitchen knife.

“Gladly, sweetheart,” he said, taking it from you. You watched him cut a slice for you then an even bigger slice for himself.

“Dean,” you started as you watched him begin eating the pie. “I love you.”

He stopped eating and looked at you; “What?”

“I know there’s a lot about your life you haven’t told me, you’re lore you could call it, but I need you to know that I really do love you, Dean Winchester.”

“But how? I mean, I’m not exactly an open book and there’s no way…” he trailed off.

“No way, what?”

“There’s no way in hell you’d feel this way if you learned everything about me.”

Your heart broke at his words, and your expression definitely showed it.

“The amount of pure love I have for you is beyond measurable, Dean. And I might be crazy for saying this, and feeling this, but there is truly nothing you could say or do that would make me stop.”

“Really?” he asked quietly, as if he was scared to press his luck.

You nodded with a soft smile; “Really.”

“Well, look I’m not really one for…that…but I do…I do feel that way about you too. I guess what I’m saying is, uh, right back at cha?”

“See to any normal person that would sound like the ramblings of a crazy man,” you said, his smile only growing. “But to me? Absolute poetry.” You leaned over and kissed him. “Happy birthday, Dean.”

He simply kissed you back, smiling against your lips.

**

“Happy birthday, Dean,” you whispered, blowing out the candles on the small pie you’d bought. It was a one-person pie because you knew if you bought a regular one that at least three-quarters would not have been eaten.

You took out the candles and picked up your fork. Staring down at the desert, you let more tears fall.

“It shouldn’t be this hard to eat a fuckin’ pie,” you laughed humorously. Your phone rang next to you and you answered it; “Hey, Sam.”

“Hey,” he sighed. “I just wanted to call and check up on you. It being Dean’s birthday and all, I figured you might…you know…”

“Be huddled up in bed sobbing my eyes out?” you said.

“Yeah…”

“I’m holding it together Sammy, don’t worry about me,” you assured him.

“I always worry about you, you know that.”

There was a short pause in the conversation as you took a deep breath and let a few more tears fall; “I miss him, Sammy,” you admitted. “I just really miss him.”

[tsukiyo-7]

The more I progress with Supernatural (I'm halfway season 12 now) the more is plain to see that the authors or whoever was in charge has a distinct preference for Dean and making him shine and Sam is basically just there to be the Woman in the Refrigerator. Even when Dean should be completely incapacitated and they make it seem like it's Sam in charge, he inevitably ends up tied up to a chair and Dean basically saves himself like a fucking deus ex machina with bowed legs. It's honestly getting tiresome and frustrating to see. The original appeal of Supernatural was also, if not especially, the relationship between the brothers, how they were both fully competent and well rounded on their own but complimented each other on different and deeper levels.

And although one might argue I'm biased when it comes to Sam (my beloved, my one and only), I genuinely love Dean's character. How could I not? With his reckless bravery and quick intellect - he isn't given enough credit for - and the overly macho persona covering up his softie heart.

The thing is, I signed up for a story about Dean and Sam; hell, their reunion, the unwillingness to let each other go, was the catalyst of everything that happened so far basically, it's insanity to me to push one of them so completely to the sidelines all the damn time, basically relegating a whole fleshed out fucking main character as side kick, sacrificing prior years of writing and development, just because you have to put the other in the spotlight all the damn time.

[neopuppy]

Beatbox (M)

preview: “Hey hey, you a new transfer?”

The boy next to you appears horrified, offended with his jaw hung loose. Round eyes more pronounced behind bifocal frames, he splutters, licking at his prominent two front teeth. “I’ve been in this class all year! You transferred into my grade! 10 years ago!”

“Huh?” You shrug, prodding the inside of your cheek in thought. “Really? Weird.”

“Y-yo-you have to be joking!”

“Anyway,” you flick his chin, smirking. “I need a tutor.”

pairing: Jaemin x female reader

word count: 6k+

genre: college AU, nerdy Jaemin, y/n a meanie, crackish, one shot, it’s filth…yay nana day🥳💕

smut warnings: switching, oral, grappling(headlocks, chokeholds, thigh crushing, full nelson, pinning, etc), degradation, competitive rough sex, breeding, spit, use of ‘bunny’, submission

‘If you fail your political history course, I have to sit you out for the upcoming season.’

“Who even studies this shit.” The sheet filled with requirements to continue competing with your varsity wrestling team wrinkles between your fingers.

Three of your courses blared at you, circled with vibrant red sharpie to add more threat behind your coaches words.

‘If you don’t pick up your fucking slack asap, say goodbye to competing in the championship finals.’

No amount of kicking at your locker and swinging your backpack around on your way to class assisted in relieving any of your frustration.

If only you had a dick, fat chance any guy on the boys wrestling team had to worry about their grades. Everyone knew the dean favored his beloved male athletes, bragged and boasted about across states through various top leading universities.

“A tutor” you murmur, rolling your eyes. Reprimanded and put on time-out until you have at the least found a tutor. Either miss out on one of the biggest tournaments in the upcoming weeks, or get your ass a tutor to help you pass your mid-terms.

Someone smart, obviously, a full fledged nerd with their nose buried in a book.

Hmm, no, not Renjun… he hadn’t even made top of your class last year.

Definitely not that pervert Haechan that got caught behind the bleachers jerking off..

Glancing around, you begin to weigh your options.

Jeno, he’s a brain, but he still had tape holding his glasses together after you snapped them in half two months ago. His fault for getting in your way and making you late to practice.

A bleached blonde head of hair and a pile of books masking your potential essential nerd grabs your eye.

The communist manifesto hovers before his face, allowing you enough of a view of thin rimmed silver lenses and eyebrows furrowed deep in concentration. Sneakily you move over to the closest seat near him, silently rejoicing when you spot a pocket protector sitting on his chest.

Perfect.

“Hey hey, you a new transfer?”

The boy next to you appears horrified, offended with his jaw hung loose. Round eyes more pronounced behind bifocal frames, he splutters, licking at his prominent two front teeth. “I’ve been in this class all year! You transferred into my grade, 10 years ago!”

“Huh?” You shrug, prodding the inside of your cheek in thought. “Really? Weird.”

“Y-yo-you have to be joking!”

“Anyway,” you flick his chin, smirking. “I need a tutor.”

The blonde before you grows more indignant, fumbling to set a bookmark in place and fully turn to face you.

“Why would I help you?!” He scoffs, pushing his glasses higher up the bridge of his nose. “You pulled down my pants at our 8th grade dance! In front of the entire school!”

“That was you?!”

“And then you poured punch on me! And told everyone I pissed myself!” He stammers, tapping one of his loafers with each shake of his leg.

“There’s no way that was you!” You giggle, waving him off. “That was this dork Jaem—“

“Jaemin!” He hisses, ripping off his glasses to fix you with a steely look. “Me!”

“Oh my god?? Why are you blonde?” You snort, reaching to stroke the peach fuzz decorating the side of his face. “You need to bleach this too furball.”

Jaemin rustles, smacking your hand away with his lips pursed together, appearing more and more perturbed by everything you say. “Don’t touch me!”

Letting out a sarcastic filled coo you lean in closer, pinching at his cheek. “Aw, did I upset the bunny?”

His eyelids push so far back that you’re surprised when his eyes stay put, expecting for them to fall out and bounce on his notebook.

“What did you just call me?” He says incredulously, grasping onto your wrist tightly.

“Damn, this nerd has some strength,” you cringe, shaking him off. Weakly punching at his arm only to feel overtaken with disbelief again, digging a finger in as you pout wondering why he feels so firm, too firm for a nerd..

“I said stop touching me!” He glowers, forcefully ripping your arm away. “Go away! I do not want to help you in any way!”

“Aw come onnnn, pleaseeee bunny?”

“Stop calling me that!” He hisses, inching closer to speak sternly. “Why do you keep calling me that?!”

Sticking out the top row of your teeth, you tap at the first two and proceed to form bunny ears with your index and middle finger. “You act like one too, vicious and temperamental..”

“Listen,” he snaps before your face, nearly chopping your nose in the process. “I am not going to tutor you! and stop calling me a bunny!”

Hope seems lost until you notice a crimson flush spiking up from his nape. Jaemin’s gaze bounces, clearing his throat as he reaches for his book, faint shades of pink burn at his cheeks, reaching up to the corners of his nose.

“Aww, you like it!” You laugh, scooting closer for your leg to drape over his. “Hear me out bunny, if you help me out, I’ll help you out.”

“I don’t need nor want your help.” He mutters, refusing to meet your stare any longer. Aware of the blush taking over his face destroying the facade he continues on with.

“That’s not true, and you know how I know that?”

Sighing, his chin dips in, frustrated by his curious subconscious. “How.”

“Who else was going to let you know that your fuzzy sideburns give away that the curtains do not match the drapes?” You joke, digging your elbow into his side. Breaking into a round of giggles at the sight of his front teeth poking out again with his mouth hung open.

“Listen, bunny boy, my coach is up my ass about finding a tutor. Just swing by at the end of practice so I can tell him someone with a 4.0 gpa has agreed to help me.” You plead, squeezing at his arm again with confusion. “Why do you feel like that?”

Jaemin throws a hissy fit, shimmying out of your grip once again while snarling in a much too cute way for you to take seriously. “No! Now go away you damn cretin!”

“Hear me out!” You grunt, rolling your eyes. “I know the captain of the football team gives you a swirly every Monday morning.”

Jaemin’s jaw drops yet again, beginning to hate himself for not just getting up and moving away. Starting to find one of your bullies attractive had to make him sick in the head somehow. “Why do you know that?! You just asked me if I transferred!”

“Uh.. selective memory.” You shrug, playing it off with a wide smile. “Anyway, what if I can get him to stop?”

His ears perk up at that, flitting a shifty gaze your way. “You can’t.”

“Oh, trust me, I can. He’s wanted me to suck his dick since the first day of Uni.” You nod mischievously, wiggling your eyebrows.

Jaemin slumps deeper into his seat, contemplating how late it’s making him, having to rush to lecture after rinsing and restyling his hair.

“You know, toilet water is terrible for a fried bleached scalp.”

“My hair is not fried!” He barks, nose scrunched up adorably in irritation.

“You’re right, it looks great..” you note, testing a silky tuft of locks between two fingers. “Kind of weird for a nerd to care this much about his looks though..”

Jaemin jerks away, glaring at you for the name. “Applying for internships has been hard..”

“Ahh, well the blonde looks great on you at least.” Giving him a thumbs up, you invade his space once again. “So, how about it? No more toilet diving if you tutor me??”

He sighs again, expression full of thought as he pouts and aggressively taps at the end of his pen.

“Fine.” His shoulders drop, feeling tense and uncomfortable by the proximity you’ve kept up for much for too long at his side now. Not missing the way your fingers kneaded at his bicep earlier or the intrigued ‘hmm’ tickling at the back of your throat.

“Great! Come by the gym at 4!”

Jaemin trudges toward the gym hall, retelling the memories of his first year when Haechan had convinced him to join him and peep on the girls wrestling team practice from behind the bleachers.

His throat dries, regretting every life decision he’s ever made as he steps inside and spots you choking another girl down onto the ground under your armpit. Deeply swallowing, he settles at the corner of the bleachers uncomfortably. Unable to even pretend that he’s not fascinated by the way you grunt and scream like a wild animal with a mouthguard in as you throttle your opponent down.

Jaemin hates the way he has to tug at his collar, clearing his throat while blinking away to calm his excitement. This was all Haechan’s fault, always going on about how hot wrestling porn is, especially when the girl in the video starts off strong only to lose and get annihilated by a huge cock.

“I’ve never wanted anything more.” His friend said while peering through small open spaces from behind a set of bleachers. “Look at that one.”

Haechan nudges his chin in your direction, grappling down your opponent with a shout and slamming your fists on your chests like a beast. “Bet she would be so fun to fucking ruin.”

Jaemin hates that his friend was right. Even now as he watches you jump up from the ground showing off your flexibility with a cocky grin; he can’t help but think about it. How exhilarating and hot it would be to experience you trying to take him down. Fight him with that same smile stretching your mouth in a crass way, disgusting how full of yourself you are. The way you walk around thinking you’re hot shit and no one can touch you.

Too deep in his head, Jaemin manages to miss you walking right up to him. Shaking out of his thoughts as you let out a boisterous obnoxious laugh and point at his lap.

“Are you seriously fucking hard from watching me practice!?” You shout out much too loud, humiliating him as your teammates all glance over and begin to laugh.

“Ugh. Fucking nerds are all the same.” Your friend taunts passing by on her way to the locker room. “Just like that other one that thinks we can’t hear him busting a nut behind the bleachers.”

Punching at his shoulder, you laugh more, clutching your stomach and wiping at tears before they can run down your cheeks. “That’s so cute bunny, you wanna wrestle me or something?”

Jaemin’s mouth opens. Opens and slams shut repeatedly, lost for words as he drags a heated gaze over your sweat soaked uniform. Spending too much time admiring the fold between your thighs wedged up nicely between your…

“Dude, what the fuck? Quit staring at my vag like that.” You punch him again, whistling for your coach to come over and meet your ‘tutor’.

Jaemin jumps up, standing by your side with false confidence. “Maybe I do!”

“What was that now, bunny?”

“Stop calling me that!” He huffs, balling up his fist. “I could wrestle you, and I’ll beat you.”

“Excuse me?!” You snort, fixing him with amused wide eyes. “Are you serious right now?”

“I am.” He says, nodding and pursing his lips to appear tough. “If you pass your mid-term, then you owe me a match.”

Nerves rise fast as your coach approaches, spluttering, too stunned to think over what he’s said. “You have a thing for girls beating your ass?”

Jaemin’s nose twitches, eyes thinning as he shoves against your side. “We have a deal or what?”

“Fine!” You panic, rushed to answer while waving at your coach. “I got a tutor!”

Between fake smiles and quickly falsifying study sessions, you end up actually taking on tutoring lessons.

“Why do you have a wrestling mat in your basement?” Jaemin asks one day, following you through your house to the second room you have taken over for practice purposes.

“The better to wrestle you with.” You wink, nudging his side. “I’m studying hard just to whoop your cute blonde bunny ass.”

“What happens if I lose?” Jaemin questions, cracking his toes against the wrestling mat laid out in your basement.

“What do you mean ‘what if?’, you still think you have even the slightest chance to beat me?” You sneer. Too cocky for your own good as you squat with your legs stretched to loosen your hips. Predicting you will need the extra help if things go as you’ve planned.

Jaemin’s gaze shifts, bouncing around the room he’s helped you study in over the past couple of weeks. Toying with the zipper cool against his throat as he realizes how ridiculous this situation is.

“Listen, I don’t think this is a good idea.” He reiterates, briskly eyeing the loose sweats hiding what he assumes is your spandex wrestling uniform.

“It’s okay to lose, bunny.“ you wink, standing up to discard the zip-up hoodie covering up a skin-tight fitted one piece. Snug in all the right places to have his throat visibly bob the second he spots your smooth skin, lathered in lotion you noticed he seemed to enjoy the scent of the last time you wore it during a study session.

“I’ll go easy on you.” With a coy smile you shove down your bottoms just enough to give him peeks of your naked hips. The majority of the lycra fabric has bunched up, riding up your ass in a lewd way that makes Jaemin clear his throat, averting his focus to the ground.

“I truly have no idea how you passed your mid-term.” Jaemin rolls his eyes, stretching back his shoulders as he reaches to unzip his sweater.

The prideful grin bunching your cheeks slowly falls apart, drooping comically the more he unveils planes of flesh; sculpted and carved to perfection from long hours spent lifting weights.

Jaemin lets his jacket slip down his arms, standing proud with a blank face as your jaw hangs. It takes more restraint than he imagined to control the twitch pinching at his mouth, avoiding the intense stare tracing from his lengthy throat, pronounced Adam’s apple, broad shoulders and thick chest trapped between bulging biceps.

“What the fuck.” You announce, breathlessly. “What the fuck dude?!”

Jaemin shrugs, breaking into a smile that scrunches his nose, pushing his glasses up higher between his brows. “You’ll go easy on me, right?”

Jaemin’s buff. A fucking buff nerd that’s never once mentioned that he took up absorbing protein shakes like water and bulking up at the gym after long days filled with studying and schoolwork.

“Hey.” He pushes your chin before your tongue can loll out like a thirsty dog. “Try not to look so shocked, it’s kind of rude.”

“Why—” you gulp, finally snapping out of it enough to toe off your sweats and kick them aside. “Why the fuck are you this yolked?!”

Jaemin shrugs, unzipping his bottoms to further make you shrivel, lowering his jeans to show off the tiniest pair of spandex shorts. They dig into his upper thigh, cutting at the flexed muscle framing the thick shape between.

“Oh come on!”

He chuckles, bending over to strip the rest of his clothing off. Balling up his outfit to throw aside, he stands straight in all his glory, cut and ripped leading up to a soft round face and doe eyes, front teeth digging into his lower lip.

“You’re fucking with me.” You utter, cleaning off imaginary drool from your chin.

“Not yet..” Jaemin cocks a brow, cracking his neck side to side. “I got tired of not fighting back, so I started working out.”

He shrugs, done explaining more when he recalls that you are one of the many who tormented him over the years. Making fun of him without care, invisible to you unless it was to pick on him.

“That makes sense.” You murmur to yourself, kicking out your legs before settling in a lowered stance, preparing to take down your larger opponent. “Guess I won’t be taking it very easy on you after all.”

“Won’t you spare me?” He smirks, bending at his knees with his arms lifting to grab you and tackle you down.

Jaemin gulps to contain his nerves, thankful for the shadow falling on his glasses beneath the dim lighting fanned throughout the room. His throats already began to dry, flitting over your breasts obscenely squeezed out, shoved together creating perfect perky fat mounds ready to be choked between his fingers.

Time to size up your competitor goes to complete shit. Jaemin’s thick beyond comprehension. Corded muscles strain up his thighs to narrow hips and a tight little waist dipping in such an absurd way. His frame widens ridiculously, more ridiculous than the situation you’ve put yourself in as a mere joke.

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

Licking at your lips, you begin to circle him, following suit as he mimics your motions.

Inhaling a deep breath, you meet his gaze, lowering your chin for intimidation. “Hey, Jaemin.”

“Huh?”

You almost feel sorry attacking his weak spot by throwing him off. It’s playing dirty, but you know there’s no better way to get him plastered on his back. Tackled down onto the mat with your face buried in his chest, Jaemin lets out a gust of air. Caught off guard as you ram him down in one fell swoop.

He grunts, the back of his head bouncing off the mat; realizing he should have suffered itchy burning eyeballs and opted for contact lenses today.

“Amateur,” you groan, tethering his forearms together. Each muscle lining your back screams, flexing as you attempt to take control by slotting your hips against his. “Shouldn’t be s-so cocky—“

Jaemin growls, huffing out another breath to blow his bangs off of his forehead. Jerking his hips up to jostle your weight to the side brings on instant regret, muffling a curse by locking his lips. His cock fattens, searing heat pulses from the tip of his length to his navel.

“F-fuck,” you grit, pressing harder onto his crossed arms until his chest caves. “Playing dirty won’t help you win.”

Jaemin’s breath lodges, clenching the backs of his teeth as he bends his knees. His heels dig into the mat, hoisting up with more force until you topple over and lose your balance, fast as he escapes your grip and grabs onto your shoulders and plants your back flat.

“Playing dirty?” He asks, licking at his front teeth.

Jaemin circles your thighs, pushing them open to space an area for himself between your legs. He hovers near your lips, glasses slipping lower, just above the tip of his nose. “Like you distracting me with your entire ass out? What the fuck are you even wearing, huh?”

“Get off of me!” You say with clamped teeth, only bringing amusement to his face as his biceps bracket your head. “This is a normal uniform!”

“Yeah,” he laughs, using the end of your nose to set his glasses back into place. His hips roll, a focused control freezing your lower half down as his knees burn against the mat, turning sticky with moisture secreting. “A normal uniform for some slut doing wrestling porn. That’s what this is for you, isn’t it?”

He finishes the question with a pointed grind, cock nestled against your clothed core further burying the material of your suit between your folds. “Between the two of us, you know who lacks brains here.”

Jaemin’s gaze darkens, lowering closer until his bottom lip runs between the seam of your mouth. Fitting together deliciously, wet from sweat gathering on both of your upper lips and saliva clinging to the tips of your tongues.

He can feel it, hot and humid against his groin. Your pussy spreading over his shorts, clit incessantly rubbing on your suit with each little shift.

“Ugh, f-fucking nerd.” Squeezing your eyes shut, you struggle by jostling your lower half as much as you can. Barely fazing him as he licks down your chin, forming a trail of drool down to the middle of your neck hollowing in for him to lap at. The sweat pooled there tastes savory at first, hit by a bitter aftertaste from the alcohol in your scented lotion. Fitting for you, sour and sweet as you’ve acted with him.

“Call me a nerd again.” He pushes up, causing your eyebrows to twist as his chest pumps out. Pecs hard as a rock, nipples pointed like icicles despite the heat gathering between your bodies. “See what happens.”

“Oooh, s-so scared,” you choke, Jaemin grabbing onto your throat when you try to sit up and shove him off. “I’ll break your glasses, see how tough you f-feel.”

Your taunting only eggs him on, ferociously pushing his side against your inner thigh until your centers fully exposed for him to press three digits against your exposed folds. Gliding up to pinch your suit around your clit until your feet slip and you kick at the mat.

“Get this wet for a fucking nerd huh?” He jeers, rolling your bundle of nerves under the damp fabric. “Maybe that’s why you bullied me, wanted me to fuck that bratty better-than-you attitude out of you.”

All you can do is struggle, attempting to dislodge your throat from his menacing hold, only seeping his fingers further into the veins rapidly pulsating up the sides of your neck.

“If only it had been the other way around,” he goes on mocking, blurring over your clit faster and faster until you’re coughing between trapped moans. “Imagine if I bullied you, getting your revenge on me years later by cornering me and fucking me until I’m incapable or forming a sentence.”

His speech lands on muted ears, passing through a thick fog of arousal that clogs up your senses, too focused on how thick his forearm looks. The veins rippling upward toward his meaty bicep shout at you, pumping full of anger with each flick of his wrist.

“You’re right, I got hard watching you practice.” He confesses, turning his hips for you to feel his chubbed up girth against your inner thigh. “Wanna know why?”

Gurgling escapes you, licking at the roof of your mouth to suppress another embarrassing sound from passing. He laughs, sharp teeth gleaming as they catch the light. “Because..”

Gathering the seat of your bottoms, he tugs at the material with a balled up fist. Ripping roughly at it to make you writhe and squeal in pain, burning against your clit with each pull. “This is why, to see you like this. So fucking full of yourself, but you can’t even pass a stupid test without a nerds help.”

Mesmerized by your folds swelling up around your suit, Jaemin’s waist bends in, momentarily forgetting about his grip on your neck; just enough to give you leeway to push up on your elbows and regain control.

It’s easy to pin Jaemin down again, startling him with power he wished to assume you lack. He curses when you fling him down roughly and mount his chest. Gathering fistfuls of his sweaty blonde locks, you rip at his scalp until he’s whining, elongated neck arched back releasing an obscene moan between his pretty pink lips. Ragged breath spills from your chest, working hard to maneuver forward until your inner thighs clap against his cheeks. Slotting your suit aside too fast for Jaemin to even let out a gasp of surprise.

Smashing your core down against his mouth sends a hiss flying out of you, grinding down hard despite the ridges of his teeth scraping along your clit. He muffles, flailing beneath you, glasses fogged up with slick and heat radiating from your lower half. A relieved laugh sounds, nodding as you work to crush your thighs around him to a suffocating point.

“Bunny talks tough—“ you grit, gyrating against his tongue until he groans. Losing your train of thought once again when his tongue curves, applying pressure against your entrance until you give. Loosening up and relaxing enough to push through. “Fuck.”

Jaemin can’t complain, even as he struggles to breathe through his nose, stuffed full of your clit rubbing incessantly against him. He’s crazed, determined to stretch his jaw until it breaks under your unforgiving thrusts.

Behind your back his knees bend, angling his hips up to fuck at nothing but air. Desperate as he slaps a merciless grip on your ass, repeating it until you get the message to ride his tongue.

Securing one hand on his head, you pull harder, using the hold to control your motions. His tongue wiggling between your walls while passing vibrating grunts, raspy broken whimpers. The unexpected slap you deliver between his thighs has him coughing, choking and screaming finding it impossible to swallow a long enough breath.

“Little b-bunny can’t even handle f-fighting a girl can he?” You scramble to taunt him, whimpering as he manages to dislodge his tongue and suck on your clit. Spreading your ass apart to have your hole pulse open against his chin as he uses every inch of his face to rub and flick. Messy, fucking disgusting with a pleased gleam hiding under splattered lenses.

Jaemin’s teeth nip, lapping side to side on your clit before he wraps his lips again. A mean suck and nimble digits digging in too close to your rim have you toppling forward. A shouted moan expelling as you whine and bounce down to fully release your orgasm on his chin and neck.

White haze takes over the room, brain spinning too much to process being manhandled onto your back. Only between a coughed whimper do you come down, blinking up to find Jaemin above you, grasping your ankles above your head with a devilish smirk playing at his lips.

“You think I give up that easily? That was child’s play.” He taunts, pushing hard abdominal muscles against your exposed puffy cunt. Rough and grating as he passes from the thick line of dark hair trailing down inside of his shorts. A silent gasp emits as he grinds against your ass, hoisted off the mat the more he tests your flexibility, continuing to push and push until you’re folded in half.

Lazily you blink, reaching between your upper halves to scrape at his chest. Tweaking and pinching at one of his hardened nipples. With clenched teeth he takes advantage of your drunk-like post orgasmic state, releasing an ankle and replacing his hold with a hard bite. Sharp canine teeth sink near your tendon, shaking his head to make you shout and whimper louder. Free hand making use of your moment of weakness to release his erect length.

“Know what mean girls like you need?” He says between licking at teeth marks left behind on your ankle. Stroking to the tip of his length as he directs himself between your dripping wet folds. Sliding up and down for you to go crosseyed, stupid dumb just from feeling how fucking thick and wide he is.

“B-bunny..”

He doesn’t give you a chance to say more, penetrating with one fluid practiced motion. Years of masturbating and studying porn only served to build up his knowledge. Practicing what he learned with any girl who would give him the opportunity at science camp over the last few summers.

“Thick fucking cock to shut you up.” Finishing his sentence with a choked growl, he grinds, adding emphasis by giving you each inch.

The moan that rips from your chest says it all.

Full, so full. Thick, so fucking thick.

He’s bigger than any popular jerk you’ve fucked at frat parties. Obscenely stretching you out, split open and so unbelievably full.

“Aww,” he tries to mock, unable to stop himself from pressing in balls deep. Pressed deep enough for coarse dark hairs to scratch against your clit in the position. Folded in half and dwarfed beneath his massive size, both of his hands snake around your ankles, using his rocking hips to aid the push he gives. Your calves surround you, burning up the backs of your thighs from tight tendons working overtime.

“Weak. Nothing but a hole to take my cock.” Regaining some semblance at the visual of tears beginning to pour freely down your cheeks, Jaemin arches back, burying his knees into the mat to hit your hard with a pointed thrust.

Pinning you down with every muscle straining in his arms, he fills you to the brim. Cock too thick, nestling past any squeeze you give, any push the muscles inside of you use to suffocate his length.

“Don’t s-stop,” you choke, eyeing where he continues to dive in and out. His cock glistens coated in thick amounts of wetness, globs of it stuck on the patch of hair at the base. Wet, filthy and so fucking wet everywhere.

“So fucking greedy, full of cock and still you want more?” He spits, licking at saliva dribbling down his chin. “Want me to fill you up? Breed you like nothing but a stupid little cum dump.”

“Uh huh..” no amount of humiliation burning up your chest can deny how good it feels. Unwilling to even struggle or bother to get away from his hips pummeling forward. Hiccups and coughed sobs assist the rapid nod you give him, too overwhelmed to even picture how much Jaemin can give you.

He wishes he could laugh, but you feel too good, too perfect. The tip of his length catches on your convulsing hole with each draw back. It’s too much for you to even look at, witnessing the tip lifting at the skin covering your mound. Feeling deeper than what you can even actually see, as if his cock can reach the back of your throat with every thrust he gives you.

“Pl-please bunny..” you babble, worrying your bottom lip, fingers twitching for something. Finding his shoulders to weakly scratch at, dragging down to the cut his bicep muscle creates. “I-inside, please..”

Jaemin groans, circling his hips in a more meticulous manner. Cock dragging against your walls in a way that sends your toes curling. Legs trembling, nearly ripping free of his hold when he hits you just right, cockhead kissing your cervix with ease, hitting the perfect angle each time.

“Pleasepleasepleaseplease.”

Maintaining his hold to keep you bent in half somehow, Jaemin fucks faster, ruthless and harsh, encouraged by your babbling and whines. Thrust after thrust harder than the previous, ripping his chest and abdominal muscles to appear carved out of stone with all the more vigor he utilizes to fuck you like you need and beg for.

“Ahhh…fuck!” Jaemin’s voice comes out strangled, using every bit of his strength to keep fucking you even as you lock up around him. Gripping a powerful orgasm around his cock, the pressure, push and pull almost forcing his cock to slip out. Gushed around, so wet and sloppy, spilling release down to his balls.

Despite your shrieks, he only manages to go even faster. Blurry above you as he pounds through your orgasm, gritting and panting similar to one of your opponents by the end of a long match. Rumbling from deep within his chest as he meets your eyes, glasses dropping off, tightening up when you find his blown out pupils.

Jaemin cums, cock thrumming violently with each hot drop of release bursting free, filling you up and up until he has to curse. Removing his hold as his broad shoulders tremble, absorbing the heat between your bodies through tremors rolling up his tense back muscles.

That’s enough, you think, rolling away in search of a towel to wipe yourself with. Whining when your hip lets out a nasty crack, you knew that pre-stretch would be needed, but not this much.

“Where do you think you’re going?” A lowered voice asks, shivering up your spine as you whimper, burning where your wet thighs rub against the mat feebly attempting to crawl away.

“N-no no m-more..”

Jaemin laughs, worse than an evil villain from any movie or show. Slow to walk on his knees over your pathetic excuse of getting away. He hauls your arms back, clicking his tongue with a breathless chuckle. “This will teach you to fuck with nerds.”

Burying back inside of you aches more than you can comprehend, imagining your brain exploding and spilling out of your ears as he rolls down. Cock sunk in to the hilt, gushing out the release he just filled you with. His size too much for you to hold both in, slick, wet, and so fucking loud with each draw back and slap of his hips.

“Jaemin!” It’s your first time wailing out his name, not missing a beat as he picks up the pace. His chest falls against your back knocking air out of your lungs, more determined to ruin you on his cock again. Make you regret the day you first saw him and made the worst decision to fuck with him.

“Where’s your cute bunny now?” He asks against your ear, watching your eyes roll back into your head. Biting at your jaw, he reaches around, budging his bicep against your chin. Hips snap brutally into you, pulling you into a death inducing chokehold roughly. He pulls harder, making your chest shove out and waist dip in until you’re bent far back, slapping one hand against the mat.

“You give up?!” He grunts against your cheek, jostling your throat with a shake of his arm. Tongue hanging out panting, you reach for his wrist, scurrying to hold onto anything you can.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

A quiet cry and suppressed choke follows your palm smacking the mat with repeated motion. In disbelief by the sound of grunts, flesh clapping against flesh, popping wet and nasty with each smooth glide of Jaemin’s cock filling you up without losing any speed.

“Fuck,” his eyes squeeze, stomach muscles contracting with each unforgiving thrust further dragging you up the mat. Chasing after his next release, Jaemin runs for the victory by throwing his other arm around your neck, further pulling you into a headlock. Groaning by how much wetter you get, purging out more and more arousal with every ripple of his bicep against your jaw.

“That’s right.” He starts, blinking away sweat that won’t stop raining down, getting trapped in his long eyelashes. “Never forget how you let a nerd beat you.”

Another weak tap and pinch on his wrist has you cumming, arching high enough to nearly make him lose his rhythmic pace. Using powerful thigh muscles to push up and hit you with thrusts hard enough to have your heart beating out past your chest.

Slam after merciless slam turns messy, hips swerving pushing past your cunt gripping and milking for him to cum again. Give you the warm load to keep inside this time, greedily squeezing around him for another.

The squeaky cracked moan Jaemin lets out has your eyes rolling to the side, pleased that even after all of his tough talk, you can still weaken him somehow.

Tapping on his forearm finally gives you a chance to take deep breaths, only to be plastered by his limp dead weight collapsing onto you.

“So,” Jaemin breathes, wet chest heavily panting against your back. He bites at your nape, hoisting your chin up with his forearm perched under your jaw. “What’s my prize?”

“Ugh..” nothing more than a lazy response pours out of you. Continuing to reel and shiver under the weight melting you down into the ruined mat covered in every type of bodily fluid. “Whatever.”

If not for the chokehold around your throat, you’d knock out in less than a second. Thoroughly fucked and ran through by the same nerd that you once picked on and made cry for a laugh. The irony doing more to make your gut curl in with renewed arousal as you lock up around him.

“What was that? Whatever, huh?” He has the audacity to let out a fake chuckle, rumbling at the top of your spine. Free arm reaching down to push between your connected lower halves as he lifts to create space. “In that case..”

Jaemin’s index finger slips past bruises forming on your backside. Teasing as he pushes between your ass and traces your puckered rim. He pops free from your ruined hole, kissing at the backs of his teeth as a pool of cum bubbles out; settling in the shape of a perfect triangle at the top of your squished together thighs.

Prodding at your hole, Jaemin bites away a smile when you squirm and whimper, turning to give him a look full of excitement and fear. He meets your gaze with maniacal thrill, pushing his pouty lips together to create a faucet for a thick wad of spit to pour, landing directly on your ass to be smeared around.

“I’ll go easy on you.”

[stonenumberone]

SUPERNATURAL 1x17 Hell House

- Truce? - Yeah truce. At least for the next 100 miles.

[onyour-right]

First things first, I'm gonna need Gen V to never fucking do that again. How dare they release such a good episode and only have it be 34 minutes??? Is it a fucking sitcom??? They do that again and we WILL have problems.

Now, Cate. I done told y'all she was the mole and now look. I mean do I still love her? Absolutely. Do I think she is a victim of Dean Shetty's manipulations? 100%. Do I believe she thought she was protecting her friends? Yup. But do I also think Andre was right somewhat in what he said? Yeah, kinda do. Listen, with all the good intentions in the world the fact that she repeatedly made Luke forget about his baby brother when she knew the type of turmoil it was causing in him is twisted. The same way she was going to confess to Andre before the text came is the same way she should have confessed to Luke. Granted I think the reason she was even going to confess to Andre was because of how wrong things were going. But still, she ain't right for that..

So, I see three possible avenues they might take with her: first, kill her off at the end of the season in order to redeem herself to her friends; second, she could become an antagonist to the group (tho this is less likely); or third, she may act as a double agent and spy back on shetty so they can find out what's really going on..

Jordan Li. My beloved. My baby boy/baby girl. I can understand why they thought Marie couldn't accept both sides of them and I'm so glad they explored a bit more into their character's history. But baby, Marie wants to love on you no matter what your gender so just let her!!! At least they got to a point where they realised they were being unfair to Marie over the whole situation though, so hopefully episode 6 will have them talking about it properly. Alsooooo, Jordan getting pissed when Marie's brain was tampered with again? Good fucking food. Jordan moving closer to Marie at Cate's reveal? I was eating that shit upppp. Jordan this whole episode was kinda unhinged and you know what? I wanna see more, please and thank you!!!

Alsoooo, can we talk real quick about Jordan's conversation with Andre and Cate because I cannot have been the only one who was straight dyingggg through it. "is it a black thing?" "...oh my God!!!". The way Jordan didnt even dismiss the fact that him and Marie made a good couple too. Likeeeee. C'monnnnn.

Marie, my sweet girl. Once she finds out the true extent of her powers its over for everyoneeeee; she's gonna fuck everyone up and I personally will be cheering her on at the sidelines!! Slightly worried though because 1) who is her benefactor?? and 2) what if they are able to capture her somehow??? She is yet to go unhinged and I would like to see it, especially if it's in relation to something happening to Jordan.

Emma and Sam. I mean you know its real when one half of the pairing's mind has been wiped and still there is an undeniable connection between them.The fact that Sam went out of his way to find Emma after all the shit that went down??? Ooof, I'm living for itttt. The fact that even though Emma hadn't gotten back her memories she still believed him? Don't make me cryyyyy. I loved how Emma realised how wrong her mother was about her "getting big" & how she's beginning to carve out who she wants to be for herself. Also, her and Marie's friendship is honestly just goals.

Also, lowkey everyone should have just let Sam kill that Dr Cardosa because he's gonna bring big problemssss I fear, and on that note they should have him kill Dean Shetty too because ole girl needs to skedaddle her way out (although the person who takes her place could be even worse, so idk about that yet)

Also, someone please give Andre a hug that boy needs it. Seeing him unhinged tho?? Ooofffffff 10/10.

[dykeydean]

fic recs

aka, i read too much fic and need to share my favorites

gorging myself on you, still can't get enough (insatiable) - sobsicles

i love this so much. casual confessions from dean. insanely horny and conflicted cas. grocery store confessions <3

rating: M

how we're stuck in entropy - shineforthee

unfinished as of now, but worth it imo. sam makes a deal for cas' life and dean has to grapple with grief and mourning. amazing commentary on grief and dean's mindset, and great destiel

rating: E

don't stop, don't slow - hedderstheowl

trans cas and cas being so surprised by how good sex is with someone he loves

rating: E

love's such an old fashioned word. - hedderstheowl

same author as above bc i cant get enough of their fics. i LOVED this concept and characterization of cas. cas gets revived but doesnt believe hes out of the empty, and treats the world around him accordingly.

rating: E

ignite your bones - ilovehowyouletmefall

such powerful storytelling and writing. loved this front to cover. dean kills sam to get the world back- the remaining of tfw 2.0 grapple with the after effects. dean deals with grief, homophobia, and cas' confession.

rating: E

this whole trilogy but namely sam winchester, ally at law - alittleduck, amidsizedfrog

sam wants to be an ally soooo bad but dean refuses to be an acceptable queer. love this characterization so much

rating: T

the cheapest room in the house - biggaybenny

dean downloads grindr for cas to meet guys and gets jealous when cas talks to guys. angst with a happy ending

rating: E

psalm 40:2 - unicornpoe

cas time travels to meet dean pre-hell. pre and early seasons dean my beloved <3

rating: E

benedictions - kalmialatifolia

priest cas and writer dean. unfinished but i think about this fic at least 3x a week. if you enjoy fleabag, youll enjoy this fic. if you enjoy priest porn, youll enjoy this fic. cannot recommend this enough

rating: E

everyone knows the year doesnt stop until april- fleeceframe

first of all, go check out this author right now i love ALL their fics, but this one stuck with me. early seasons destiel. cas has so much love he doesnt know what to do with it. case fic

rating: M

gold in the edges of our vision - sewingnatural

i fucking love this so much. absolutely amazing religious imagery and symbolism. dean and cas share peaches on a roadtrip and are in love about it. fic that convinced me to go on a roadtrip this summer

rating: T

juxtaposition - rhinestoneangels

this fic is short and amazing. interesting prose, dean in hell, religious imagery. mwah love it

rating: G

where the heart is - goldenraeofsun

claire fic of all time if i do say so myself. claire time travels to s7 and hunts with dean before making her way home. i adore this one so much

rating: M

here, bullet, here - a_good_soldier

dean and his relationship with violence. contains pre series dean and post-canon destiel. named from a poem, this one hits you right in the heart

rating: T

use cinderblocks to build a stairway - pollutedstar

dean, sex work, ptsd, and self worth. heed the tags!! heavy fic but thoroughly enjoyable

rating: M

the soul burns brighter than the sun - wow_thisiswheremylifeis

post-canon fix it. cas escapes the empty and effectively breaks it, while telling everyone but dean that hes alive. they grapple with their relationship and fixing the empty. love it!!!

rating: E

let's take a drive - sobsicles

another sobsicles fic because theyre all 10s. jack reverts to baby age, cas is protective, dean and cas have a complicated relationship. amazing fic with amazing feels. best tag ever: maybe we're all a little scared and that's okay

rating: E

the eye is a mouth. - zeke21

dean, sex work, god, a study on the relationship between all three. fucking amazing fic, really nailed chuck's presence in this. go check out this authors other works too, they're all mind blowing

rating: E

asterism of an f-series ford pick up - disabled_dean

altered my brain chemistry a little bit i think. cas and dean go on a roadtrip and dean is exceptionally horny about it. dean is not normal about love and thats okay

rating: M

maybe i like pleasure pain - tothewillofthepeople

another one that wrecked me entirely. one of the best cas centric fics out there, this fic focuses on cas' recovery post-empty. lovely dialogue and imagery, just amazing all around

rating: M

wyoming, january 1996 - luulapants

THEE dean 17th birthday case. fucking amazing storytelling, takes johns journal entry and runs with it.

rating: T

between sex and death and trying to keep the kitchen clean - ftmsteverogers

jupernatural, kid jack, post-canon fix it with empty confession misunderstanding <3 love it so much, this author is so talented :)

rating: E

[pendragonsclotpole]

I need to preface this post with the fact that I’ve been aware of Supernatural for as long as I’ve known what the terms fanfiction and fandom mean. It’s one of those pop culture moments that’s existed on the periphery of my mind as something really beloved and bemoaned about by people on the internet, but it’s never been something I really cared about outside of some iconic memes.

For the past four days, I’ve been watching Supernatural non-stop in my free time. I think I sat through eight episodes straight on one of those days, and I just have to say, the show is phenomenal.

I don’t know where to start, I could make a dozen of these posts about various points throughout the first two seasons and it still wouldn’t be enough. I’ve now taken a break at episode one of season three, because now that it’s a weekday I have work and can’t dedicate the time I could on the weekend.

First, Jared Padalecki’s acting is so beautiful and poignant and emotional. He really makes Sam Winchester into the bleeding heart of the whole show, and the entire time he’s on screen I worry about Sam. His portrayal of Sam’s heartbreak and desperation at Dean’s impending death after the car crash, as well as Sam’s horror at the reveal of what John told Dean before dying held a tragic desperation and denial that really embodied what the character represented in the first two seasons. Even as a hunter and with his special abilities, Sam felt like a quasi self-insert for the audience. I don’t mean that in a bad or overly tropey way, but in the way that he felt robbed of a proper childhood in favor of his father’s crusade. Sam is the angry, indignant younger sibling who never bore the brunt of responsibility like the older sibling did and it shows. In some ways, it makes him more entitled—I don’t mean that Sam does not have the right to be angry with John Winchester. He does. Fuck John Winchester. I mean entitled in the unintentional, coincidental way that your little brother or sister always demands the things you never had or rebels against the authority of the parent without ever dealing with the consequences you did as the older sibling. It reveals the veneer of freedom he had and the protection he received by virtue of his place in the Winchester Family. For me, it made him unbearably real, and this feeling of realness was made worse by the genuine naivety and innocence he keeps even as he continually gets screwed over by the demons. There’s a steadfast belief in the goodness of others within Sam that often conflicts with the sense of goodness he believes he lacks.

Sam trusts so easily, but he understands people in ways that should be antithetical to his upbringing. It took me forever to reconcile why he seemed so familiar, until I realized that Sam Winchester, for all that he was one of John Winchester’s son, had received the unconditional love of an older sibling for his entire childhood.

I don’t mean the perfect, kind, healthy love that often exists between fictional siblings. Too often I’ve watched media that makes me wonder how siblings like that even exist, or conversely, made me glad my siblings weren’t so fucked up.

I mean the kind of platonic love that exists between siblings living in the liminal space of love and hate thanks to the single fucked up connection that draws them back together continuously out of some sense of duty or commiseration or the need to be understood.

I mean the kind of love between siblings that would wither away when in a perfect world that does not stake their survival on their codependence of each other, but that in an imperfect and real world is equated to familiarity. Sam and Dean against the world—against John Winchester.

Out of all of the episodes I’ve watched in the last day and a half, perhaps the one that struck me most was episode 20, Season 2. What is and What Should Never Be. Not only was the title a bit of emotional whiplash—the juxtaposition of Should and Never lending a finality or a sense of wrongness that can’t be replicated by the words “Could Never—but we see Dean and Sam in a world where their one connection, hunting, has completely vanished and at a high cost to all the people they’ve saved, but mostly to Sam and Dean themselves. They’re connection as ride or die brothers is gone, replaced by an ostensibly better, healthier, more normal future liberated from the expectations of the rest of the world.

Without the death of Mary Winchester, Dean and Sam are no longer Dean and Sam. They’re just two people, connected by the two people that raised them, and likely to drift apart after that connection dies—frayed ends of a tapestry pulling apart and unraveling. Dean gains a mom and a normal life, but metaphorically loses a brother and a sense of purpose. Who is Dean Winchester if he’s not a hunter and Sam’s brother? And the sad thing is, neither of these are traits Dean ever chose. They are conditions foisted upon him, perhaps not intentionally, such as in the case of Sam, but ultimately placed on his soul until they tethered themselves to the very core of what being Dean Winchester is supposed to mean. The end of the episode, and Dean’s choice to return to the real world, regardless of Sam waking him up, is Dean fully giving up his dream in order to save Sam and be a hunter. The fallacy of the episode is in the choice Dean makes, which the more I think about it, feels less like a choice and more of an inevitability but one compounded by Dean’s readiness and willingness to go with it.

This is where I get to the crux of my surprise with these first early seasons of Supernatural: Dean Motherfucking Winchester.

I don’t know what I was expecting from early seasons of Supernatural, especially with the context of the later seasons. Maybe an overly cheesy, early 2000s ode to roadtrip Americana with a self-reverential take on the classic gun slinging frontiersman of the Wild West and bad supernatural CGI. Not to say it isn’t that (shout out to Sam’s comment on Dean’s particular brand of butch), but what surprised me was how real the connection between the characters was manifested on screen and how much good will the show built up in the audience. There came a point where I sided with Dean so much in the events of the show that I felt like I was riding shotgun in the impala. I saw it with every compliant “yes, sir” he gave to John, with every teasing comment he threw at Sam, and with every act of selflessness he exhibited by protecting other people. This isn’t to say that Dean is perfect. Sometimes he doesn’t take things seriously enough, or he’s willing to sacrifice people for some misguided greater good, or he’s obsessed with saving Sam even when he wouldn’t be if it were anyone else, but Dean has a conviction so many people lack. He has the capacity to love at a great cost to himself, either because he believes himself unworthy of being loved or because he’s not used to anything else.

Jensen Ackles does such a good job at this portrayal and with such a different technique than Jared Padalecki. Ackles embodies the desperate need for self-assuredness that Dean breathes, as well as the genuine fear he has of being seen. I love laughing with Dean as much as I love screaming at him for how stupid he’s being. If Sam is the self-insert, then Dean is the tragic hero, although that comparison feels like a poor facsimile for what Dean Winchester truly is because I don’t particularly feel an overwhelming sense of pity at his state or at his hinted downfall with that demon deal. If anything, I feel a sense of indignation mixed with understanding and frustration that Dean can’t catch a break but at the end of it all, is just how he prefers it.

It shouldn’t be a shock to admit that even without knowing what happens from seasons 3 to 15, I know how Supernatural ends. Just thinking about the ending makes me wonder if I should even continue it past season 5, but that’s a decision for another time.

For now, there’s something unbearably tragic in seeing Dean Winchester so close to a chance of a normal life and apple pie happiness (something he really seems to desire no matter how much he denies it) and then having to give it up, not just because it’s not real, but because he believes it should never be real.

Dean Winchester deserves better.

[quietwingsinthesky]

zachariah is the best character on this show actually