#dean x claire x sam

[take-it-on-the-run]

[deanwinchestersbabygirll]

Sam Winchester, Hero

-warnings// angst, fluff, SMUT, MENTION OF SA!!

-lil summery// kind of my spin on the pilot episode, based when Sam’s in college, best friends to lovers trope

Sam x reader

Part 2

word count// 3330

(Gif from Pinterest)

Your eyes burned as you continued to read the same line over and over, exhaustion threatening to take over your body any minute "hey you okay?" You looked towards the soft voice to see your best friend Sam, you nodded "yeah I'm just trying to finish this chapter I can't hand in another late assignment" you said stretching your limbs trying to wake yourself up 

Sam chuckled "it's after midnight, you’re gonna end up face down on your desk if you don't get to bed soon" you rolled your tired eyes playfully "I’ll be fine I'll just be another half hour then I'm done, you head on home, I'll be right behind you" Sam shook his head "not a chance this place isn't safe at night I'll wait for you" he said going to sit next to you "Sam sweetie, I'll be fine, our apartment is a ten minute walk at most, plus you know I can handle myself, I've kicked your ass plenty of times" you joked making him smile 

"Alright but I want you to knock on my door when your back home so I know your home safe, I'm giving you forty five minutes and if ur not home by then I'll be back here to haul your  ass home" he said firmly, he was always the worrier, that's what you loved about him the most

"I promise, scouts honour" you promised him with the scouts symbol he chuckled as he moved toward the door "see you at home Y/N" he called as the doors closed leaving you alone in the library, You rubbed your tired red eyes and got back to work, your blinking getting slower until all you could see was darkness and a warm fuzzy feeling take over your body.

Almost an hour later you awoke with a start "oh son of a bitch!" You exclaimed quietly looking at your watch, in a panic you shoved your stuff in your bag quickly before running out the big mahogany doors and taking off in a speed walk down the dark campus towards you and Sam's apartment, hoping he hadn't left yet

You were moments away from sanctuary before you heard the sound of loud foot steps behind you, your heart plummeting to your stomach as you picked up your own pace, you were less than a minute away, the footsteps got closer and your heart was beating a hundred beats per minute

The person behind you grabbed your arm roughly turning you around to face a tall brute of a man, glaring at you his lips twisted in a dirty smile "where you heading beautiful?" He asked his grip on your arm tightening making you wince "none of your business now get your damn hand off me you jackass!" You exclaimed trying to pull your arm away 

"Watch yourself now... the nicer you are to me the better I'll make you feel" the man said licking his greasy lips, your stomach turned and you regretted not leaving with Sam earlier. 

Tears pricked at your eyes as you tried to fight him off "if you touch me I swear I'll-" you started to say before a loud laugh cut you off "you'll what baby? Look at me then look at you, who's got the upper hand here?" he mocked before a third voice interrupted him 

"I do!" The voice said and a fist was slamming against your attackers face knocking the brute out, screaming you turned to see your saviour as the tears streamed down you face, you saw Sam looking back at you concern written all over his face "c'mon let's go" he said quickly taking your bag from you and pulling you tightly to his side making your worries instantly vanish as you cuddled into him 

Sam unlocked the door with his free hand, never letting go of you, he locked the door instantly as soon as you stepped inside "are you okay? I knew I shouldn't have fucking left" Sam told you his voice cracking slightly as his hands cradled your face in them as his green eyes scanned for any visible injuries.

"I'm okay Sammy" you assured him but he shook his head, his shaggy hair bouncing as he did "I'm so sorry I didn't get there sooner, I shouldn't have left you by yourself it's not safe i-" "SAM!" You yelled cutting his rambling off, his eyes snapping down to meet yours "I'm okay, I promise, you got me before he could do anything" you promised him, brushing a stray strand of shaggy brown hair behind his ear

He closed his eyes tightly and sighed loudly, his shoulders remaining as tense as ever, he wrapped his strong arms tightly around you, holding you tightly to him

You rest your head against his hard chest, listening to his heart beating like crazy as he breathed in your scent "are you okay sweetie?" You questioned looking up at him

Sam nodded slowly "I'm doing everything I can right now to stop myself from killing that perverted bastard" Sam confessed, his voice low and serious, you chuckled quietly "Sammy your the sweetest guy I've ever met, you don't have killer instincts in you" 

Sam swallowed thickly... little did you know who he really was, how many monsters he'd killed since he learned to walk "...yeah your probably right, come on let's get some sleep" Sam said changing the subject quickly

You stepped away from the his warm comforting embrace nodding your head, a quiet quiver threatening to leave your lips  "night Sammy" you leaned up to kiss his cheek before retreating to your bedroom.

You shivered as you walked into your dark bedroom, you pulled on an oversized shirt kicked off your jeans before getting into you bed, your whole body shook as you lay, the events of the night finally setting in your head

You let the hot tears fall slowly down your face as you fell asleep. 

You awoke a while later, you heart beating like crazy, your face stung as tears, new and fresh stuck to your cheeks, you tried catching your breath before making your way quickly to your bedroom door and down the hall to your best friends room

You knocked lightly on the door but there was no response other than the small snores on the other side, you questioned if you should just suck it up and go back to your own room but you knew you couldn't, not alone 

Taking a deep shaky breath you opened the door tip toeing towards the sleeping giant, "Sammy?" You whispered in a strained voice, "...Y/N... w-what's going on? Everything okay?" Sam quickly shot up suddenly as though he was wide awake. You tried to control your breathing before replying "y-yeah I uh, I-" you struggled to get out before you broke completely, your whole body shaking as more tears streamed down your swollen face

Sam was instantly pulling you down to sit next to him on his bed, pulling your shaking body tightly into his warm embrace, his muscular arms wrapping around you waist as you lay your head in the crook of his neck, "hey it's okay just breath" he said gently trolling your hair from your face "what happened?" He asked quietly stroking your wet hair behind your ear 

You took a deep shaky breath leaning into his touch "I- I just had a bad dream and I didn't want to be alone, can I stay with you, please?" You begged Sam, your heart racing like crazy, Sam's cheeks flushed a deep red as he nodded his head almost immediately "of course you can, you know you can always come to me no matter what" You smiled squeezing his hand tightly as a silent thank you.

Sam stayed in that position for another while longer, just holding you tightly to him as you slowly regained your breathing and the tears stopped rolling, "you ready to lay down?" Sam asked rubbing his hand up and down your cold arms nodding you move to his side, slowly lowering your self to rest against the cold unused pillow in Sam's bed, Sam turned to face you in the bed,

His hand once again reaching out for your own "I promise your safe here, I would never in a million years let anyone or anything hurt you" Sam assured you making your heart swell, "I know sweetie,  your like my very own superhero" you told him making his lips pull into his familiar grin "night gorgeous" Sam said giving your small hand another light squeeze "night Sammy" you whispered back.

You lay there another few minutes just staring into the dark room, this was different than how you felt earlier in your own bed, you felt safe... you just couldn't trust your mind enough to sleep

You turned to your side to face Sam, his eyes already on you "I can't sleep" you whispered lowly to him your faces inches apart as Sam moved closer his arm moving to wrap around your waist as his green eyes stared into yours "it'll be okay, I'm right here next to you" Sam promised making you smile up at him 

Your hand cupped the side of Sam's face gently as you moved closer, just testing the waters, letting him have time to pull away if he wanted to, but he didn't.

Sam closed the small gap between your lips quickly capturing you lips with his, you let out a small gasp as your hand flew to grip the back of his neck lightly, his own gripping your waist pulling you as close as possible to him, you let out a quiet moan as Sam moved you to lay on your back, his body rolling to hover above you 

You wrapped you legs tightly around Sam's hips pulling him down so that his covered cock was pressing against your clothed clit, "oh god Sammy" you breathed out pulling his hair slightly 

Sam moved his kisses down your neck causing your eyes to roll "Sam please" you begged tightening your legs around his hips, sam obeyed as he pulled back slightly to pull his grey shirt and off revealing his muscular chest, you ran your hand down from his toned chest down to his pyjama pants, you swallowed the thick lump of nerves in your throat "Y/N, we don't have to do this" Sam told you sensing your nerves 

You shook your head and smiled up at him "I want to do this, with you" you told him as you gently pulled him back down for a kiss, he smirked into the kiss, his hands moving to the hem of your oversized shirt you'd stolen from Sam many moons ago, he pulled the shirt off your body, revealing your bare breasts to him, he instantly grasped them in his warm hands

You let out a small moan of his name, arching your back from the bed "please touch me" you begged, sam chuckled and kissed his was down your chest taking each breast in his hot mouth before continuing his way down your stomach, he dragged your panties down off your legs, gasping at the cold air hitting your core you move to clench your thighs together

Sam's hands caught your thighs quickly, spreading them wider exposing you completely to him "you look so beautiful like this" Sam said his eyes a darker green, bordering a light brown, Sam blew cold air against your soaking pussy before diving in, you screamed in pleasure your hand rushing to gripe Sam's longer hair, "oh god Sammy! Please don't stop that feels so fucking good" you cried out as Sam sucked hour clit into his mouth and inserting his two long fingers inside your dripping hole "you taste fucking delicious Y/N I could stay between these legs all damn day if you let me" Sam said against your pussy, the vibrations of his deep voice and combination of his thrusting fingers causing your eyes to roll to the back of your head "I'm so close Sammy please!" You screamed in pleasure slamming your head back against the pillow behind you as Sam sped up his movements, all that could be heard in the room was heavy breaths and the sounds of Sam's mouth and fingers working you toward your orgasm

You cried out in ecstasy, Sam's long fingers curled inside of you hitting your g-spot repeatedly his lips wrapping around your clit stimulating you completely, you screamed Sam's name as the coil snapped, your orgasm came crashing towards you causing your body to shake slightly, sam carried you through it, not stopping until you gently pushed him away from you, you legs around his shoulders shaking "that was the hottest fucking thing in the world, I've never had a guy do that to me before" you breathed out, still trying to catch your breath

Sam chuckled giving you lips a small kiss "well you have only dated jackasses who clearly have no idea how to please their girls, if I had it my way I'd have you tied to the bed with me down there all damn night" Sam confessed making your heart pound, you looked at him threw half lidded eyes a smirk playing on your lips "I'm not opposed to getting tied up sometime" you said making sam groan loudly as you pulled him into another deep kiss, your hand snuck it's way into his pants and wrapped around his hard cock, you started to move your hand in an up and down motion before Sam quickly grabbed your wrist stopping you

Your eyes snapped to his in a panic and your heart raced in panic, "What's wrong?" You questioned quickly and Sam smiled "nothing it's just… I'd rather be inside you gorgeous" Sam told you and he kicked the rest of his pants off leaving his big hard cock on full display making your mouth water "do you have a condom?" You struggled to ask as your mouth was suddenly dry

Sam nodded, hovering over your bare body to reach into his nightstand, he quickly pulled out a familiar foil package, he ripped it open quickly with his teeth and rolled it onto his erect member "are you sure your okay with this?" Sam, ever the gentleman asked you, his hands ran up and down your waist in a comforting way making you smile  "of course I am Sammy" you confessed wrapping your legs tightly around his hips and pulling him down to you so he was chest to chest to you

Sam leaned down to capture your lips in a sensual kiss, not rushed or hard like the other kisses, you felt him place his covered tip at your entrance, your pussy clenching in desperation to feel him inside you,

Your moan caught in your throat as Sam pushed his way inside you, filling you up, inch by inch

Sam sucked in a harsh breath, his lips moving to attach to your neck "god Y/N your so fucking tight, can already feel you squeezing me" he groaned out hotly against your neck, you giggled softly as your hands ran up Sam's muscled back, he began to move his hips slowly to rest the waters, there was a slight pain but nothing could take away from the pleasure of having Sam so close to you like this "faster Sammy please" you told him arching against him to allow him to push inside you deeper, Sam obeyed and grabbed your thighs, he pushed them up so you knees were against your chest, your calves hanging over his broad shoulders

Sam pulled his hips almost all the way back before slamming back inside you making you scream in pleasure

He continued to slam his cock deep inside you at a fast pace, hitting your G-spot with every thrust his pelvic bone pressing against you swollen clit adding just the right amount of pleasure "yes!" You screamed dragging your nails down Sam's back as white hot pleasure clouded your vision, you knew your orgasm was fast approaching as the coil in your stomach tightened "cum with me baby" you moaned out, Sam quickened his movements feeling his own orgasm crash against him, he moved his hand down to rub your clit quickly causing the band in your stomach to snap, you screamed Sam's name as your juices came flowing out of you, down Sam's thighs as Sam groaned feeling the condom fill with his hot seed 

Sam continued to thrust a few more times slowly to calm you both downs, whimpering when he pulled out you gave him a gentle kiss on his now swollen lips "that was amazing" you said once you pulled away causing Sam to chuckle, he threw the used condom in his trash can "yeah that was the best sex I've ever had" Sam confessed making your heart race and your cheeks turn pink when you giggled “yeah me too”

Sam pushed a stray hair behind your ear, his eyes staring into your own with intensity “I really like you Y/N, your my best friend.. I mean I know we just crossed the line of just friends but I want you, I mean, I want this, not just sex.. I mean I want you.. all of you” Sam confessed before kissing you quickly to solidify his words 

Your heart pounded against your chest as you listened to Sam’s confession, “I want that to Sammy” you said placing your hands on either side of his face, leaning in to peck his kiss swollen lips a couple of times until the smiles on both your lips made it impossible to keep going “so how about tomorrow after your last class we head down the Chinese place for dinner and we can rent a movie to take back home?” Sam asked you nervously “I’d love that” you told him before going to the bathroom to get ready for bed again, this time in the safe protective arms of your boyfriend.

A couple of hours later you awoke to voices in the kitchen, panic rose in your chest before you turned to wake Sam, surprised when all that was in his spot was cold sheets, you furrowed you brows before getting up, you quickly pulled on your over side shirt and panties before stalking towards the kitchen where your boyfriend and another man were talking  “sam?” You called for him making his head snap towards you “Y/N hey what you doing out of bed?” Sam questioned placing his hand on your arm 

You opened your mouth to answer before the other man moved towards you a big flirty smile graced his lips “wow you are so far out of my brothers league” the man said making sam roll his eyes “oh your Dean! Sam’s told me a lot about you” you said making him chuckle “all good I hope” he said before turning his attention back to your boyfriend before staring at you again “listen sweetheart, I gotta talk to your boyfriend here about some family business would you mind giving us a minute?” He asked trying to be as nice as possible “of course I’ll just-” you were cut off by Sam’s big arm wrapping tightly around yours waist pulling you tightly to his side “no, anything you can say to me, you can say in front of Y/N” Sam told him his chest puffed out in anger 

Dean clapped his hands together in frustration “fine, dad hasn’t been home in a couple days” Sam scoffed and rolled his eyes dramatically once again “yeah, he’ll come stumbling back on in soon enough, just like he always does!” Sam said annoyed, his muscled arm around your waist tightening as Dean sighed lowly 

 “alright, dads on a hunting trip, and he hasn’t been home in a few days”. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ALL MY OWN WORK I DO NOT GIVE CONSENT TO COPY OR PUBLISH ON OTHER SITES , I.E WATTPAD, ETC, WITHOUT MESSAGING TO ASK FIRST

For my Sam girlies!

[inlovewhithafairytale]

POV: The Winchester's have a little sister

[ellastarkwinchester3000]

*At Disneyland, in the teacups*

Sam and Cas: *spinning a little and talking*

Dean, Claire, and Jack: *Flys past them, spinning as fast as they can, and screaming*

[asbeel]

I imagine Dean is protective as shit of his pie

Like he is hissing and scratching at anyone who even attempts to poke a fork into his pie

So if he lets you to reach out and eat a bit of his pie, it's a sign of respect

If he willingly hands you a slice of pie? Youre the fucking world to him

People I think Dean would let eat a bit of his pie:

- Mary Winchester

- Jack Kline

- Garth Fitzgerald

- Ellen Harvelle

- Kevin Tran

- Jody Mills

- Lisa Braeden

- Sam

People I think Dean would give a slice of pie to:

- himself (obviously)

- Sam (but he always refuses cos he's a health nut)

- Castiel

- Bobby

- Benny

- Charlie (sister energy)

- Jo (sister energy again [wdym they kissed they're literally siblings])

- Claire

- Eileen (as like a "ur my sister in law now" vibe)

- Missouri (fr she deserves some)

- Ben Braeden

I really wanted to add Crowley to this list but it's just the sad truth that Dean wouldn't trust him to be within 90ft of pie

And yes, John Winchester isn't on here. His ass does NOT deserve pie

[lukas-dusk]

Dean, entering the living room looking at his clothes : Has anyone seen my top?

Sam : Castiel's in the kitchen.

Charlie : The last time I saw castiel he was in the library!

Crowley : I have no idea where the angel is.

Gabriel : Probably waiting in your bed~

Jack : He's trying to make waffles in the kitchen!

Claire : DAD DEAN IS LOOKING FOR YOU!

Castiel taking his head out of the kitchen : Dean?

Dean : I hate all of you.

[spn-lesbian]

Claire & Jack: can we stay with you tonight?

Sam: both of you? What happened?

Jack: we were playing with an ouija board and cursed the whole house

Claire: Dean and Cas weren’t any help. They forgot how to banish spirits, so Cas is just throwing salt at them and Dean is yelling "does this look like a hotel to you?!"

[nightingale2004]

Supernatural au idea:

Alright people. So my idea is that Dean and Castiel are both single parents.

Dean Winchester is the father of two children, Emma, his oldest, and Ben, the youngest. Emma's mom died when Emma was a kid, and Dean divorced Ben's mom due to problems in their relationship. (Ben's in his mom's custody, but he visits Dean a lot)

Dean also works at a body shop with Bobby singer and helps out his girlfriend Ellen and her daughter Jo at their bar. His brother Sam is a lawyer who is happily married to Eileen with their baby, Dean Jr.

Castiel Novak is the single father of Claire Novak and baby Jack. Their mother died when Jack was born leaving Cas to take care of his children.

Cas originally came from a VERY big religious old-fashioned family, and his children were around them for a time until Cas decided to move, not wanting to be around a toxic and strict environment. Which has gotten worse since their dad left.

So Cas moved all the way to Kansas, where he and his family moved to a house across the street from Dean and his family.

Dean and Cas meet along with their children.

Do with this as you will

P.s the children help pair their dad's up with the help of Bobby and Sam

[dumb-zombie-girl]

People send me oneshot requests for these ships or these characters

Crystiko ( Niko x crystal

Payneland ( Charles x Edwin)

Montwin ( monty x Edwin)

Catwin ( cat King x Edwin)

Cricketcrow ( Charles x monty)

Catcrow ( cat King x monty)

Poly Edwin x Charles x monty

Dean Winchester x castiel

Gabriel x sam Winchester

Claire novak x Kia

Adam milligan x Michael

Edwin Payne

Charles Rowland

Niko sasaki

Crystal Palace

Cat King

Monty

Jenny

Dean Winchester

Sam Winchester

Gabriel/trickster

Castiel novak/Winchester

Claire novak

Adam milligan/Michael

I will do x reader oneshots

I'll be posting everything to AO3

I'll do headcanons

Oneshots

No smut

I'll try angst

Fluff

[deanwinchestersbabygirll]

Purgatory

warnings// SMUTTT, fluff with some angst, little bit of Sam bashing (not really but Y/N isn't his biggest fan in this one)

lil summary// based on events in Season 9 Episode 1 with my own spin on it

Dean x reader

word count// 2740

(gif from Pinterest)

You felt like you were going crazy, it's been almost a year since you lost Dean, you didn't even know if he was still alive but you would never stop looking until you found him… or his body. Sam never even tried... his excuse "dean and I made a promise" you tried to argue but he didn't want to hear it.

It only got harder each day, you weren't any closer to finding him today than you were six months ago, you tried to keep in contact with Kevin but Sam wouldn't return your calls so you had no idea what was happening to him. You tried to look for him but all you really wanted to do was find your boyfriend. That's all you wanted and the hope that you would was fading with each passing day.

It was like any other day you got up at 5am after a quick three hour Power Nap to continue your search. You poured some cereal and sat down on you laptop looking for anything that could relate to the man that was Dean Winchester. You moved to your search board in Bobbys cabin’s living room trying to connect any dots that could bring you closer to him. You couldn't help feeling more and more defeated when you couldn't find anything. You sighed taking a seat on the couch rubbing your temples trying to stop the tears from falling.

————————————————————————————————————————————————

Your head snapped up as the door started to open, you grabbed your gun and aimed it at the door ready for what was about to walk in.

"Dean?!" You cried out, you threw your gun to the side and tan to hug him. He caught you straight away wrapping his arms tightly around you "it's me, I'm back sweetheart" his voice muffled as he spoke against your neck. You pull back from the hug slightly to really look at him taking in his presence "it's really you" you cried, you hands cupping the sides of his face "it's really me baby, but I know you gotta do the tests, so let's do them and we can talk about where I was for the year…" dean said his hands tightly holding your hips as close to him as possible. 

You smiled up at him. not letting go of him "I don't need to do the tests, I know it's you" you pulled him down towards you, crashing your lips against his. Dean reciprocated immediately, his hands ran down your body squeezing your ass making you moan, he grabbed the back of your thighs and lifted you up. You wrapped your legs tightly around his hips moaning when his Jean clad bulge pressed against your aching core "mmm bedroom dean" you mumbled against hips lips not wanting to break the kiss as his tongue invaded your mouth in a familiar kiss 

Dean didn't say anything as he continued the kiss, he just walked towards the bedroom you'd taken home in, he threw you to the bed making you squeal, he shrugged off his tan flannel and grey undershirt leaving his sculpted chest bare, you shrugged off your own shirt leaving you in just a black lace bra. Dean kicked off his jeans leaving him in just a pair of black boxer shorts before getting on top of you, pulling your lips back into the heated kiss "god it's been so fucking long" you whisper against his lips "damn right it has sweetheart, we gotta make up for lost time" dean mumbled as he loved kisses down your neck before reaching your chest "gotta get rid of this first" dean rold you before he ripped your bra off, displaying you perky breasts to him

Dean groaned before rushing forward sucking harsh marks over your chest making you squirm under him, you ran your fingers through his short hair holding him close as he he left his marks down your chest to your abdomen not stopping until he was at the waistline of your pants "lift your hips sweetheart" dean told you, rubbing his rough hands up to your waistline 

You did as you were told and lifted your hips allowing dean to pull your pants and panties down in one swift pull. He placed his hands on the inside of your thighs and you clenched around nothing as you grew wetter by every second. Dean spread your legs apart making you let out an airy moan as the cool air hit your wet core "dean please, I need you so fucking bad baby" you begged tugging for him to come back up to you "we have all the time in the world for foreplay, but right now... I just need you inside me" 

Dean bit his lip harshly in need. He took off his underwear throwing it to the other side of the room letting his big hard cock spring free. "Crap I don't have a condom, is there any left from last time" dean asked as he wandered his hand down your core before inserting his finger inside your wet hole thrusting it inside you, moaning as you clenched around him "i- oh god, I think they ex-oh fuck Dean please. Expired!" you cried out when he added another his pace never stopping "risk it?" Dean asked, his magical fingers never stopping 

You nodded quickly "I've waited a year, I can't wait another day" dragging him back into a heated kiss as your legs wrapped tightly around his bare hips, gasping sharply when his hard cock pressed against your soaked opening "I can't wait either sweetheart" dean slowly pushed his tip inside making you wince slightly "you okay? Need time to stop?" Dean asked quickly. 

Shaking your head you wrapped your arms tighter around the back of his neck "I'm okay baby... I just it's been a year since we last were, well you know... together... intimately" dean chuckled before pressing a gentle kiss on your lips staring softly  into your eyes "you waited for me?"

Staring back at him tilting your head with a confused smile "of course I did. Baby I haven't stopped looking for you... not even for a damn day". Dean rubbed his hands up and own your smooth thighs, his eyes filled with not just lust but with something else "i... i ... I love you Y/N, so fucking much" you eyes filled with tears while holding back sobs... you've waited years for dean to say that "I love you too De". Dean crashed forward once more crashing his plump lips hard against yours, tangling his tongue with your’s as his hand guided his cock to push deeper inside of you, making you let out a loud moan against his lips 

"Oh fuck- that feels so fucking good" you cried out pushing your feet against the top of his ass to keep him nestled deep inside of your warm pussy. "You ready?" Dean asked against your lips, a single line of mixed spit keeping them attached as you let out an airy "yeah" 

Deans hands gripped your hips tightly, he pulled his hips back almost all the way before thrusting his cock inside you hard. "YES!" You screamed urging him to continue his movements, slamming his hips against yours continuously "you feel so fucking good. Could live in this sweet pussy" dean confessed slamming against you once more. You screamed in pleasure as his pelvic bone rubbed against your swollen clit, "please go faster" you begged, Dean obligated moving your legs so they rest over his shoulders allowing him to penetrate you faster and deeper, drawing out screams from your sweet mouth with every thrust,

"I'm not gonna last baby" dean groaned, his hips never stopping "me either" you cried out out taking deep breaths as your body chased its high. Deans hand made its way up your body, making sure to grope your sweat coated breast before moving up to your throat, he wrapped his hand lightly around it, only applying a small amount of pressure but it was enough to make your eyes roll as your orgasm hit your body in fast waves as you screamed his name. 

Dean groaned loudly  as his cock stilled inside of you, spurting out hot white stripes of cum against your walls. He lay his head against the crook of your sweaty neck his soft cock still inside you as you both tried to get your breathing back under control. You scratched your fingers through his slightly longer than usual hair “I know we jumped the gun a little by jumping… well into bed, but I’m so happy your back home. I have no idea how I survived that year without you…” you smiled down at him “I’m here now sweetheart, and I’m not going anywhere again” dean promised before giving you a more gentle kiss on your swollen lips. 

Dean pulled out of you gently making you let out a low gasp. Dean rolled over your body so he was laid beside you, he wrapped his arm around you before pulling you to lay against his bare chest “oh I missed this so fucking much” you confessed, your finger tracing his anti possession tattoo, something you’ve always done after sex. “Me too sweetheart. Hey where’s Sammy? I haven’t heard anyone walking around here since I got in, I’m thinking he snuck out when he saw us head into the bedroom” dean chuckled,

You face grew hot at the mention of sam, it’s not like you hated him, he’s your boyfriends brother and you loved him like a brother… but you seen a different side to him after this, a side you didn’t know if you could forgive “dean listen I-” you tried to say before the door opening and closing for your attention “ah there, he’s back” dean said moving forward slightly taking you with him before throwing on a pair of pants and his undershirt leaving his flannel for you

You put on deans flannel and your panties  from earlier to cover yourself. Dean grabbed your hand  gently tugging  you into the living room to see the taller Winchester stood awkwardly “Sammy!” Deans gruff voice called pulling his younger brother into a big hug  “it’s good to see you man” Sam swallowed thickly as they pulled back from the hug “it’s good seeing you too dean. I mean I can’t believe your freaking alive! What the hell happened to you” Sam exclaimed. 

“Well standing to close to that exploding bastard dragged me to where he went… we’ll not just him, all monsters” dean shrugged, you turned to look at him you face twisted in shock and fear “w-what?” Dean wrapped his arm around you waist tugging you against him “it doesn’t matter now. All that maters is I’m back” 

“Dean, you were in purgatory for a whole year?” You asked, your voice breaking as you felt you cheat tighten with sadness and guilt “yeah, I guess times flies when your running for your life” he joked, but you didn’t find it funny. You pulled away from his embrace and took a seat on the worn couch, you put you head in you hands and sighed “oh god, I should have looked harder, I should have thought of fucking purgatory… I-I” dean cut you off kneeling in front of you “Y/N, you guys we’re trying to look for me- hell if the shoe was on the other foot I wouldn’t have thought about purgatory either but you and Sammy-” 

“Dean listen… we gotta talk” Sam stood scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. Dean turned to give Sam a look of confusion, still not moving from his place in front of you “talk about what Sammy?” 

Sam sighed awkwardly “it’s fine Sam, just leave it” you tried to stop him, you knew Dean would only be hurt by what his younger brother had done “leave what? What the hell happened Sam?”dean stood up, walking towards Sam confused “nothing happened Dean real-” 

“I left the life dean” Sam interrupted. Dean looked between you both, his facial expressions unreadable “you left… as in you didn’t look for me?” Sam swallowed hard looking at his brother, “no, I quit the life” you closed your eyes not wanting to be here for this, but there was nowhere for you to go do you just stayed sat on the couch silent tears rolling down your face 

“What do you mean you quit the life? So you just decided to turn your back on the family business!” Dean demanded his voice raising slightly. Sam let out a dry chuckle “well nothing says family like the whole family being dead” 

Dean slammed his hands on the table making you jump at the bang “I wasn’t dead Sam. I wasn’t fighting for my damn life everyday for a goddam year” dean yelled. You knew this could get ugly so decided to try and stop it as quickly as possible  “dean…” you rubbed your hand across his back the soothe his tense muscles 

“Dean I thought I saw you die. Hunting is what got every single member of my family killed. I had no one left-” your head snapped around to the younger Winchester “oh that’s not true and you know it! I tried to get you to help me Sam. I wanted your help for  crying out loud!” You cried out “sam I tried so hard to get you to help me right up until you stopped answering all your phones. I was the one who was alone, I didn’t even know what was happening with Kevin because you stopped answering me” you yelled pointed your finger at yourself to emphasise your words 

Deans face grew harder  as your confession went on “I’m gonna take a walk before I do something I might regret” dean muttered angrily before storming out of the cabin

“Y/N, I’m-” Sam tried to talk but you didn’t want to hear it “just don’t… don’t talk to me, I have absolutely nothing to say to you” you told him with a harsh tone before hiding away in your room. 

————————————————————————————————————————————————

You tried to wait up for Dean but by the third hour you had cried yourself to sleep, this day was the most draining you’ve had in a long time. It wasn’t all bad though, you got the love of your life back today.

You stirred to the sound of the door creaking open, a blinding light entering the room. “Dean? Is that you?” You mumbled tiredly “yeah it’s me sweetheart… I’m sorry for taking off earlier I just… I needed some space away from Sam before I took his damn head off” dean grumbled as he kicked his shoes off before hoping into the bed, pulling you tightly against him. You curled against him, wrapping your leg tightly around his hips “dean, don’t fight with your brother because of this please. He was hurting too and he just… he had a bad way of coping” you told him straining your neck up to look at him 

He let out a deep sigh “I know, I just- I would never do that do that to him… and he left you, the one thing I asked him to do was look after you if anything ever happened to me but he couldn’t even do that.” You smiled against his chest “you know I can take care of myself baby” deans arms tightened around you as he closed his eyes a small smile playing on his plump lips  “I know you can baby, I just don’t want you to ever have to. You’re my girlfriend, it’s my job to protect you, no matter what” 

You leaned up and pressed a loving kiss on his lips, deans hand moved to the back of your head, keeping you as close as possible for the small kiss. Dean was the first to pull back, his deep green eyes staring down at you softly “I love you sweetheart” you smiled giving his lips one more peck before pulling back “I love you too Dean, I’m so happy to have  back home with me” you told him as you cuddled into his side once again, holding on to him as tightly as you possible could, hoping that it wasn’t all a dream, and when you wake up he’ll still be there, next to you, holding you.

-----

Hiiii, so I'm having thoughts of a series rewrite Season 1-15 with Dean x reader what are we thinking.... also I'm thinking of wishful thinking part 2, i wasn't initially planning to do so but I've had a lot of people requesting so is that something you guys would like to see?

ALL MY OWN WORK I DO NOT GIVE CONSENT TO COPY OR PUBLISH ON OTHER SITES, I.E WATTPAD, ETC, WITHOUT MESSAGING TO ASK FIRST. REBLOGS ARE GREATLY APPRECIATED THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING.

[inlovewhithafairytale]

01 x 01 Pilot part 1

"You're waiting in the car" is the first thing Dean says when he parks the '67 Chevy Impala in front of the apartments where their brother lived.

Yn scrunched up her nose and furrowed her eyebrows "dude. Why?"

"Cause I say so"

"Why do you get to see him before me? Its not fair" Yn says not backing up as her oldest brother got out of the car.

"Just stay in the car" Dean says slamming the car door shut behind him and making his way to the apartments.

The 15 year old leaned back against the car seat crossing her arms over her chest with a pout "not fair" she mumbled to herself.

****

Yn had nodded off to sleep resting her head against the car window as she waited for her brothers hoping that Sam would go with them.

"Why did you even leave her in the car?" Sam asked Dean as he walked next to him to the parking lot.

"She was sleeping" Dean lied. Truth be told, he didn't want Yn to get her hopes up to Sam coming, he knew that she missed their brother horribly and had cried herself to sleep when he first went away to Stanford.

Yn woke up to her brothers voices and the sound of the cars trunk being open. She grinned widely when she heard Sam's voice and quickly opened the car door and rushed to Sam jumping into his arms and hugging him tightly as she let out a series of happy squeals.

"Sammy I missed you so fucking much" she said as Sam laughed hugging her tightly back and giving her a spin before setting her back on the ground.

"I missed you so much too Yn. Wow, you've grown so much!" Sam looked her up and down a smile on his face as he looked at his little sister.

"Yeah. She turned 15 two months ago" Dean cut in a with an edge to his words.

"Dean. I know" Sam answered glaring slightly at his brother.

"But that doesn't matter. We're here" Yn cut in giving Dean a reproach in her look, turning back to Sam "so...are you coming with us to search for dad?" She asked him eyes begging him to come.

"Yes, but i have to be back by Monday" came Sam's reply as he ruffled her hair up a bit.

Yn pouted a bit at his words "oh well I guess"

"Yn, get back in the car" Dean told her.

"Why?" She asked turning to him eyebrows furrowed.

"I want to talk with Sam and you're on the way. Car. Now" Dean said closing the back of the car.

Yn have a dramatic sight "fine...." she muttered and got back in the car arms crossed over her chest and a frown on her face. When she walked behind Dean she stuck her tongue out at him making Sam stifle a laugh.

***

Dean knocked on the car window of the backseat startling Yn awake who sat up from the seat rubbing her eyes "what? Where are we?" She said groaning as she opened the car door.

"On our way to Jericho right now on a gas stop. Go to the bathroom" Dean said handing her a bottle of pear juice and a bag of cheese puffs "breakfast" he said simply and turning to Sam who was sitting shotgun he gestured to the other bag of chips he was holding"breakfast?"

Sam scoffed "no. How do you even give that to Yn?"

"Eh. I'm used to it." Yn said shrugging as Dean glared at his brother. Yn out her bag of chips and bottle of juice down on the leather seat and got out of the car stretching "I'm going to the bathroom" she said groaning a bit and walking past Dean into the small gas stop.

"How do you even buy stuff? Still on the credit card schemes?" Sam asked knowingly.

"Well, hunting isn't exactly a paying job" Dean shrugged as he walked to the other side of the car and got into the drivers seat.

"What names did you use this time?"

"Bert Afrahiam and his loving kids Hector and Evangeline Afrahiam" came the smug reply.

Sam gave a snort and a shake of his head turning his attention back to the cassette collection box Dean had "dude. You need to update your cassette collection. Black Sabath? Metallica? Ac/Dc? Who even listen to those anymore?"

"House rules Sammy, driver picks the music, shotgun shuts their cakehole" Dean said taking one of the cassettes and putting it on the radio.

"Sammy it's a chubby 8 hear old. Its Sam."

"Sorry. Can't hear you. Music's too loud" Dean said as he turned the music up, back in black playing loudly through the speakers.

The backseat door opened and Yn slipped in wincing slightly at the loud music. "Dude. Lower it down a little"

"House rules booger driver picks the music and-" Dean start again as he drove away from the gas station.

"Yeah but backseat gets to lower the music. Tune it down a bit, I've got a headache" Yn said rolling her eyes a bit at him

Dean complies and puts the volume down just a little.

Sam turns to her a bit of concern flashing through his face "you've got a headache?"

"No. But I'll get one if Dean keeps putting the music so loud"yn answered

Dean rolled her eyes at her through the rear view mirror "just eat your vegetables"

"Yeah dad..." yn said mockingly as she opened her bag of cheese puffs and started eating.

***

Part two ... Flashbacks.a.k.a. younger years before season 1

if any of you have any ideas I am all ears <333

[marvelfanfn2187a113]

Adoption Agency

Dean Winchester & Ben, Dean Winchester & Cassie Jr (OC), Dean Winchester & Charlie, Dean Winchester & Krissy, Sam and Dean Winchester & little sister!reader

Requested by Anonymous (x2)

Synopsis: Dean is forced to take care of a kid he hasn’t seen for a while—and one he didn’t know he had

A/N: finally another fic! This one’s pretty long. I have the reader and an oc in this one, this is the first (and possibly only, we’ll see) fic I’ve done with this headcannon character I’ve mentioned before; Cassie Jr. She’s the daughter of Cassie, Dean’s old girlfriend who was in (I think??) the first season. I’m usually not a fan of OCs, but Cassie Jr is kind of my exception. Hope you guys like it! (Btw if you guys want to see more of my Ben/Cassie Jr headcannons, let me know and I might hunt down my old stuff and put it in a Masterlist)

“Ben?” Dean lowered his machete faster than he ever had when he turned the corner and saw not a vampire, but a boy he considered his son. “Ben, what are you doing here?”

“Dean?” Blood drained from Ben’s face when he laid eyes on the only father figure he’d ever trusted. “I didn’t think you’d—I mean—“

“Ben look out!” Dean’s weapon was back up in an instant when he spotted a figure rounding the corner, but Ben jumped in the way.

“Dean, no! That—she’s not a vamp!”

Dean lowered his machete again, but he kept a firm grip on it as he glanced from Ben to the girl behind him.

“Ben, what is this?” Dean asked. “Why do you even remember me? Cas told me that he—“

“He did,” Ben interrupted. “But…but things have changed.”

“Dean?” Dean turned to look at the girl as she spoke. Something about her tugged at his mind, as if he knew her. “You can’t be Dean.” Her eyes turned to Ben. “Why is he—“

“We can talk about this later,” Ben interrupted. “But we’ve gotta finish looking before that vamp comes back.”

“Looking?” Dean asked, choosing for now to ignore the nagging question of why this girl seemed to know who he was. “Looking for what?”

“We took this job because a friend of ours had an uncle go missing in this area. We tracked the vampire kills nearby, and we’re thinking that maybe the vampire is keeping some of its victims alive as blood bags—that’s why only about half the missing people turned up dead.”

“Yeah, or they’re just good at hiding their tracks,” Dean argued. “The priority here has to be killing the monster.”

“That can be your priority,” the girl spoke up. “But we’re gonna find those victims.”

“I’m sorry, who are you?” Dean scoffed. He was surprised when the question stopped her short, and she looked to Ben for support.

“Later,” Ben insisted. “We can do this later. Look—“ he turned to Dean. “We’re going to check upstairs for any survivors. You can do what you want.”

“You’re not going up there alone,” Dean argued.

“Like I said; do what you want.” Ben turned, grabbing the girl by the arm and encouraging her along. Dean rolled his eyes and followed right behind them.

…

Dean wasn’t surprised at the first body they found at the top of the stairs—but the kids were.

“Just because one is dead doesn’t mean they all are,” the girl said. Dean grit his teeth at the sound of the shakiness in her voice; she was in for a rude awakening, he could feel it.

“Let’s keep looking.” Ben put his hand on the girl’s arm, and Dean wondered what the connection was between them.

“Watch out!” The girl spoke a split second before you rounded the corner and swung the machete. You froze mid-strike, yanking your arm back at the last second to avoid hitting Ben in the neck.

“Ben?!” You were slack-jawed before your eyes landed on your big brother. “Dean, what is going on?”

“I’ll explain later,” Dean huffed. “Right now we—“

“Oh no.” Dean’s senses heightened at the sound of Ben’s voice.

“What’s wrong?” He demanded, sidestepping his little sister to see what Ben was seeing. “Oh.” Dean couldn’t say he was surprised, but the sight of three more bodies in the entryway of the next room caused his heart to sink.

“They-they can’t…” the girl was gripping Ben’s arm, her voice quavering. “They can’t all be dead.”

Dean didn’t see why not, but he didn’t speak.

“I take it you’re looking for someone specific,” you spoke up.

“Yeah.” Ben’s voice was shaky too, but nowhere near as panicked as his friend’s. “We’re trying to help a friend find her uncle.”

“Then let’s keep looking.” Dean resisted the urge to glare at you for this statement—he wished you wouldn’t give these kids false hope, but he supposed you probably had plenty of false hope yourself; it was just a part of being a young hunter. You hadn’t seen everything that Dean had.

Dean trailed behind while Ben, his friend, and you forged ahead to look for any survivors. As he stared at the three kids, he couldn’t help the nagging feeling at the back of his mind…

The one that said that this was just the beginning—the one that said he’d be seeing a lot more of these kids, two of whom he considered his own.

…

Dean knew even before he entered the room that it was bad. He heard an intake of breath from Ben’s friend, he heard Ben’s quiet groan, and your “oh no.”

He rushed into the room just behind the three kids, cringing at the sight of half a dozen bodies strewn haphazardly around, all drained of blood.

“Cassie…” Dean whipped his head around to stare at Ben as he finally said the girl’s name. Ben was pulling Cassie into a hug as her eyes landed on a dead man near the center of the floor.

“Cassie,” Dean muttered under his breath, too awestruck to speak. That was why he recognized this kid—she was near identical to a woman Dean hadn’t seen for years.

“I take it that wasn’t a friend’s uncle,” you said quietly from beside Ben and Cassie.

“He was the only family I had,” Cassie whimpered. That sentence caught Dean’s attention.

“The only…” No. No way. He had to be thinking about this wrong, this couldn’t be Cassie’s daughter, because that would mean…

“Dean, look out!” At the sound of your warning, Dean didn’t hesitate. Without turning around, Dean ducked out of the way, stepping away from the doorway and lifting his machete simultaneously. It was good that he didn’t question you—not that he ever had—because the vamp missed him by mere inches.

You came forward swinging, but it was no use as the bigger and faster vampire dodged your attempted blow and grabbed onto your arm, twisting until the machete clattered to the ground.

“Dean!” You cried out as the vampire bared its fangs at you, but before he could spring into action Ben was there, ripping the vampire away from you and opening up Cassie for a shot; she took off the head in a single swing. “Thanks,” you breathed to the teens. “You guys are some decent hunters.”

“Which begs the question; why?” Dean demanded as he stepped closer to the three of you. “Ben, what is going on?”

“What, are you surprised that you actually have to take responsibility for your kids?” Cassie’s outburst surprised both you and Dean, but Ben just sighed exhaustedly.

“Cassie, you know that—“

“Yeah, you recognize that name? Cassie?” Cassie was ignoring Ben, keeping her eyes on Dean. “That old girlfriend you forgot about—my mother. After you left, she had me. And then she died—because she knew you.” Cassie was out the door before Dean could even begin to process her words. Ben was starting after her, but Dean grabbed onto his arm.

“Is…is she saying…she’s mine?” Dean didn’t look like he was breathing anymore.

“She is. And so am I.” Ben pulled his arm from Dean’s grasp and rushed after Cassie.

“Dean?” You grabbed onto your big brother’s arm, hoping to stabilize him.

“What’s going on up here?” The two of you turned at the sound of Sam’s voice. “There was a vamp downstairs, I took care of it…but it looks like I missed all the real action. I just saw Ben on the staircase.”

“It’s a long story,” you said. “Maybe we should bring those two to the bunker and have a talk with them.”

“Yeah.” Your words seemed to snap Dean out of his daze. “Yeah, I’ll go find them.”

“Let me,” you insisted. “I’m not so sure they like you right now.”

…

You found Ben and Cassie right outside the house—it looked like Ben was trying to convince her to go back inside.

“You guys should come with us,” you spoke up without waiting to hear what they were talking about. “We’ve got a bunker not far from here, it’s a good place to regroup.”

“With Dean?” Cassie scoffed. “I don’t think—“

“Cassie, hear him out,” Ben interrupted. “I told you, I don’t think it’s a bad idea to at least get to know him before you hate him.”

“It’s not like you’ve been searching him out to talk to him,” Cassie argued.

“Look, guys,” you butted into the argument. “I don’t know what you’ve got against my brother, but—“

“My mom is dead.” Ben’s word knocked the wind out of you, and you completely forgot what you were going to say. You’d stayed with Dean, Ben, and Lisa while Sam was in hell. You hadn’t formed a bond anywhere near as strong as Dean had with them, but Lisa was the closest thing you’d ever had to a mother, given that yours left you at John’s motel doorstep when you were a baby. When you and Dean got wiped from Ben and Lisa’s memories, it was one of the hardest things you’d ever done to walk away.

“L-Lisa’s…” you swallowed. “How?”

“Demons,” Ben deadpanned. “Of course, she didn’t know they were demons. She didn’t understand any of it, because she couldn’t remember.”

“Why do you remember?” The three of you turned at the sound of Dean’s voice—he’d come up behind you. You glared at him; he was supposed to let you handle this. But you softened when you saw the tenseness in his jaw and fists, and the pain in his eyes. He had heard Ben say Lisa was dead.

“Not long after you left us, I got into a car accident,” Ben explained. “Had a concussion. Whatever happened knocked those memories loose in my brain, and I started to remember everything that friend of yours made me forget. I didn’t tell mom—I knew she wouldn’t understand. But it didn’t matter, anyway, because she died not long after. You abandoning us didn’t protect us.”

“I wasn’t abandoning you,” Dean forced out through the lump in his throat. “I was trying to protect you.”

Ben’s expression didn’t change from a cold indifference.

“It didn’t work.”

…

Despite Cassie’s anger and Ben’s hesitance, the teens decided to follow you to the bunker. To your surprise, yet another teen was waiting for you when you got there.

“Hey guys,” Claire greeted before her eyes landed on the extra passengers. “Who are your friends?”

“Who’s she, another kid?” Cassie scoffed, and Ben shot her a look.

“Another kid?” Claire looked from the teens to Dean. “The heck are they talking about?”

“Claire, this is Ben and Cassie—they’re my kids.”

“Only biologically,” Cassie clarified.

“Cassie and Ben,” Dean continued as if he hadn’t been interrupted. “This is Claire—she’s a friend. What’s going on, Claire?”

“It’s Jody.” Claire must have decided her reason for being here was more important than Dean’s family drama. “She went on a hunt a few days ago, and now she’s not answering her phone.”

Dean was instantly stiff and alert.

“Tell us everything.”

“I will,” Claire promised. “But first—I recruited some help.”

…

“Charlie.” Dean grinned widely as he pulled the redhead in for a hug. “It’s good to see you.”

“You too,” Charlie said as she pulled away. “By the way, you have quite a good number of crazy kids in your corner.” Charlie eyed the troop of teens in the war room, including you, Ben, Claire, Cassie, and Krissy—who had come with Claire.

“Yeah, you’d think he’d be celibate by now just out of basic human decency,” Cassie scoffed, and Ben elbowed her.

“Hey, these aren’t mine,” Dean argued.

“That you know of,” Cassie muttered.

“Alright, that’s it,” Dean snapped. “Look, I know you’ve been through some crap, ok? But this chip on your shoulder attitude is getting old, especially considering I wasn’t even told of your existence until a few hours ago. That was your mom’s choice, not mine.”

“Oh yeah?” Cassie challenged. “And was it her choice to get killed by demons?”

“No.” Dean’s voice was solemn now. “No, it wasn’t. And I’m sorry, I’m…I’m so sorry.”

Dean’s tone surprised Cassie, and she went silent.

“I didn’t know she was in danger,” Dean said. “And I didn’t know about you. If I did, I would’ve—“

“What?” Ben cut in. “Would’ve made them forget?”

“Ben, you know why I did that,” Dean argued. “Your mom almost got killed—I didn’t want you to be in danger anymore.”

“Well it didn’t help,” Ben said. “They didn’t care if we remembered that we knew you, they only cared that you knew us.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” Dean confessed. “I put you in danger by being there, I put you in danger by staying away. I can’t bring your moms back—all I can say is I’m sorry.”

A tack hitting the floor would’ve sounded like a bomb going off in the war room as the two teens eyed their father.

“Prove it,” Cassie spoke up.

“Name what you want, I’ll do it,” Dean promised.

“This Jody chick. I wanna help you look for her.”

Dean was surprised.

“What? Why?”

Cassie looked from you, to Sam, then finally to Dean.

“Families hunt together, right? You wanna prove you’re sorry? Then let us be a family. If I think I can trust you, then maybe…maybe we can move on.”

“The last thing I want to do right now is put you in more danger,” Dean huffed.

“Tough,” Cassie argued. “Because that’s my only offer.”

Dean eyed Cassie, then Ben. The silence in his indecision reached awkward quickly.

“They saved my butt from a vamp back there,” you broke in. “They’ve got my vote.”

“Maybe a new start is a good idea,” Sam piped up.

“Didn’t realize this was a group discussion,” Dean muttered under his breath. “Alright,” he decided. “Let’s go. But you’d better not get yourselves killed.”

…

“You’ve been pretty quiet, old man.”

Dean let out a huff as he glanced back at Krissy—just his luck she’d ended up in the Impala when they were separating into cars.

“Yeah, finding out about a kid you didn’t know you had will do that.”

“Well, she can join the club,” Krissy said with a shrug.

“Club?” Dean questioned. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh just the half a dozen kids on this hunt that you’ve adopted,” Krissy said. Dean scoffed.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“I don’t know Dean,” Sam piped up from his shotgun seat. “We seemed to have picked up a decent amount of wayward teens over the years.”

“Great, just what I need.” Dena rolled his eyes.

“C’mon—“ Dean had forgotten you were in the car until you reached up and patted his shoulder. “You know you love us.”

…

“So I hit a dead end trying to track her phone, but with her laptop I’ve managed to track her web usage over the past few days.” Charlie’s fingers were moving a mile a minute on her laptop keyboard as she spoke. She had a Winchester brother over each shoulder, watching her every move as she shuffled through page after page of Jody’s online research.

“Try the most recent search,” Sam offered. “Maybe she looked up a location.”

“Do we even know what she was hunting?” You questioned Claire.

“Werewolf, definitely.” Claire and Sam exchanged a glance—she was nervous. Her last encounter with werewolves hadn’t gone so well.

“Ok, she did look up a location,” Charlie cut in. “Looks like a passport office, except…it’s really sketchy.” Charlie spun around in her chair, and it gave you a view over her shoulder of a website.

“That’s a perfect cover,” Krissy said. “I mean, anyone going to a place that bad is probably looking to disappear—so no one notices when they do.”

“Sketchy is right,” you scoffed as you looked over Charlie’s shoulder. “Wouldn’t be surprised if Jody’s computer has half a dozen viruses now.”

“It did. I took care of them.” Charlie smirked. “She can thank me when we find her.”

…

“Dean?” You caught your big brother before he went outside.

“Yeah, what’s up?” He asked, glancing out towards the Impala before reluctantly looking back at you.

“Were—um—“ your voice caught, so you swallowed and tried again. “Werewolves…they don’t really keep hostages. What if Jody is—“

“Hey, no,” Dean snapped, but he softened when your lip started to quiver. “Ok, commere.” Dean pulled you into his arms. “We can’t do that, kid. We can’t lose hope.”

“I don’t want to lose her, too,” you whimpered. Dean’s arms tightened around you.

“We’re not losing anyone, ok? Jody’s gonna be just fine—we’re gonna bring her home. I promise.”

…

“I want to go in.”

“What?” Dean eyed Cassie suspiciously as he parked at the cracked pavement outside the passport office. “Why?”

“Why do you think I came here? Duh, I want to help.” Dean huffed at Cassie’s sarcasm, but he didn’t argue. “You can take me in—pretend you’re my dad getting me a passport.” Dean didn’t miss Cassie’s smirk at the implication. “Shouldn’t be too hard.”

“Fine,” Dean relented. “Sam, if we’re not out in half an hour—“

“I know what to do,” Sam assured him.

“Then let’s go.”

…

Dean had been in the office all of 2 minutes before he began to get nervous.

“I’ve gotta use the restroom,” Cassie had announced almost as soon as a man had come forward to help them.

“First door on the left,” the man told her; and she scampered off down a dark hallway.

Great, he thought to himself. I’m in werewolf territory with Nancy Drew.

Still, he let her go off to check the back while he kept the counter man distracted. He didn’t really have another choice.

…

“Do you think Jody’s ok?”

Claire’s question hit Sam hard—mostly because he’d been wondering that all day. Before he could speak, though, Krissy piped in.

“Look, I know I don’t know your friend—but from what you guys have been telling me, she seems awesome. I’m sure she knows what she’s doing.”

The tiny twitch of a smile on Claire’s face as she relaxed made Sam feel much better.

“They’ve been in there a while,” Ben interrupted. He hadn’t taken his eyes off the front door since Cassie disappeared behind it. Sam understood the feeling—the fear for your sibling, the helplessness when they went into danger without you. He didn’t know how Ben and Cassie got to be so close, but he couldn’t deny the obvious; they’d do anything for each other.

“Do you think we should go in after them?” Your eyes met Sam’s—you were waiting for his say-so.

“Dean said half an hour,” Krissy argued. “We should give them a chance to get some information.

“I’m not waiting any longer,” Ben insisted.

“Ben—“ Sam tried to reason with him, but Ben was already halfway out of the Impala.

You and Claire followed without a word.

“Hey!” Sam called to the two of you, but you ignored him.

“Ok.” Krissy shrugged, stepping out of the car.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” Sam grumbled as he followed the teens. “These kids are gonna be the death of me.”

…

Dean was in the middle of pretending to fill out paperwork, and he was getting impatient. Cassie still hadn’t returned, and there had been no sounds of struggle either. He didn’t feel like he could go after her yet though—not with the desk worker hanging around; it would look too suspicious.

The moment the desk worker disappeared in the back, Dean dropped his pen and stepped into the hallway that Cassie had gone down.

“Cassie?” Dean hissed. “Cassie!”

A thud broke the silence from behind a door down the hall. Dean rushed towards it, his hand instinctively reaching behind him to pull out his gun. The door was locked, but it came open with a swift kick.

Dean held his gun out in front of him as he entered the room.

“Cassie!” Dean lowered his gun as he rushed towards his daughter, who was tied and gagged on the floor.

“She came outta nowhere,” Cassie gasped after Dean yanked her gag down.

“She?” Dean asked.

“Yeah. This isn’t a one-werewolf job, I guess.” Cassie shrugged.

“When is it ever?” Dean huffed as he started to untie Cassie.

“Dean look out!” Cassie’s warning came a split second too late as Dean felt a flash of pain as something hit the back of his head; then nothing.

…

“They’re not here,” you mumbled to Sam as the two of you trailed a step behind Ben into the passport office.

“They’re fine, we’re going to find them,” Sam promised.

“How can I help you?” A woman with an unnerving smile greeted as she stepped out from a dark hallway.

“That’s enough of that,” Ben huffed, reaching into his belt and pulling his gun on the woman. “The man and the teenage girl. Where are they?”

“Ben!” Sam glared at the teen. “Subtle much?”

“Subtle was Dean’s plan, and now he and Cassie are missing,” Ben argued. “It’s time for my plan.”

“Fine,” Sam grumbled, reaching for his own gun and directing his attention to the woman. “Answer his question.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” She insisted, doing a horrible job of looking aghast.

“Sam!” You we’re halfway down a dark hallway by the time you called out for your big brother. He looked to see what you were gesturing at—a door at the end of the corridor. “Hinge is broken—it looks like it got kicked in.”

“Dean,” Sam muttered under his breath. “Krissy, Claire, go with Y/N. Ben and I are gonna have a little chat with this one.” Sam instructed. He glanced at Ben to make sure he still had his gun up before putting his own away and pulling out a silver knife instead. “First things first—let’s see what you are.”

…

You slipped into the room with the broken door, Krissy trailing right behind you. You had your gun—the one full of silver bullets—up and ready.

“Dean!” You breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of your big brother, even though he was tied up and gagged. He started shaking his head the moment he saw you, which put you on instant alert. Despite this and Dean’s obvious protests, you stepped forward and pulled Dean’s gag down, keeping your gun ready.

“Two of them,” Dean gasped. “There’s two, and I don’t know where either of them are.”

“Krissy, wait.” You held your hand out to stop Krissy from untying Cassie. “One of us should be ready to fight.” She nodded, stepping away from Cassie and keeping her gun pointed at the door while you untied Dean and Claire freed Cassie.

“Where…where’s Jody?” Claire asked once they were both free.

“I don’t know,” Dean admitted. “I haven’t seen anyone except the werewolves. Hey,” Dean put a firm grip on her shoulder when he saw her countenance drop. “We don’t know anything yet. There’s gotta be more rooms in this place. Let’s keep looking.” Dean turned his attention to you. Where’s—“

Dean’s question was interrupted by the sound of gunshots.

…

Only about a minute earlier, Sam was questioning the female werewolf about Jody when a man came charging into the main room from a side hallway.

“Ben watch out!” Sam fired two shots at the advancing male werewolf. One missed, and the other buried itself in the man’s shoulder. It didn’t stop him, and Sam wasn’t able to fire off another shot at him because just then the woman pounced on him.

“Hey!” Dean’s voice—followed by the sound of his gun going off—came just in time, and Sam felt the werewolf on top of him collapse completely, three shots to her back finding their mark in her heart. It was only after Sam shoved the creature off of him that he realized it wasn’t Dean who saved him—Dean’s gun was pointed at the now dead male werewolf that had gone after Ben—it was Cassie who had saved Sam.

Sam watched as Cassie and Dean shared a look—a look that Sam didn’t have to be a mind reader to understand; they had earned each other’s trust in the deepest way. They had both saved the most important person in the other’s life—their brothers.

“Jody.” Your voice snapped the lot of them out of their moment.

“Right.” Dean holstered his gun and turned toward the dark hallway he’d just come from. “Come on, there’s gotta be more rooms down here. Let’s find Jody.”

…

“Hey.” Cassie’s voice got Dean’s attention, and he tilted his head towards her. “I guess you’re not so bad…you know, for an old guy.”

Dean scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“I swear, you teens and your jokes,” he grumbled under his breath. “You’re not so bad yourself,” he admitted. “You know, for a kid.”

Cassie’s lips twitched in a smirk.

“Hey, thanks,” Dean said. “For saving my brother.”

This time, Cassie’s smile was big and genuine.

“Right back at you.”

…

There were three doors at the back of the hallway. The first was a storage closet barely big enough to fit the ancient vacuum inside. The second, a bathroom. The third…

“Hey guys.” Jody’s grin matched that of everyone looking at her. “It took you long enough.”

…

Charlie, Krissy, Claire, and Jody all returned to their various homes after a quick reunion and goodbye.

“So what’s next for you two?” Dean’s eyes landed on his two children as they lingered in the bunkered war room.

“We have guest rooms,” you piped in, but at Dean’s glare you retreated to your room to give them some privacy, an action followed by Sam a moment later.

“She’s not wrong,” Dean said, rubbing the back of his neck. “I mean, I don’t know where you guys are staying but, if you wanted to it wouldn’t be—“

“You’re babbling, old man,” Cassie interrupted her father with a cheeky grin.

“Ok, ok.” Dean held up his hands in surrender. “I’m no good at this, so I’ll get to the point—you guys have a place here if you want it; I know I wasn’t there for you for various reasons, but I’m here now. I don’t like that you guys are hunting, I think it’s too dangerous, but it’s not up to me. All I can do is let you know that you always have me to back you up.”

Ben and Cassie were quiet while Dean gave his speech, and when he was done they shared a long, near telepathic look.

“Hanging around a while couldn’t hurt,” Ben said finally.”

“Yeah, might even be fun,” Cassie admitted. “I hope you like teenagers, old man.”

Taglist:

@nyotamalfoy @mrvlxgrl @chocorade @aestheticdaisies @inlovewhithafairytale @that-wannabe-vangoghgurl @casmustdiee @987coley @deadlymistletoe @wayward-impala83 @whump-loverz

[pickledpascal]

Long Story Short, It Was a Bad Time

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Castiel

Warnings: transphobia, homophobia, horrible parent john winchester, homophobic language, implied past prostitution, based on 14x13, angst with a happy-ish ending

A/N: in this, dean is trans and visually looks similar to another of jensen's characters, beau arlen.

Word Count: 4.8k

Jensen Ackles Masterlist

Dean Winchester had known he was a boy since he could talk. Hell, before he could talk. 

He wasn't aware he wasn't a boy until after his mother died and every single teacher in every single town they went to called him a girl and separated him into the girls' lines instead of the boys. It got increasingly mind-numbing as he entered his pre-teen years. His first period came around and his dad wasn't sure what to do. Pads were one of the most expensive supplies he had to buy and he never failed to make Dean feel bad about it at every turn. 

“Suck it up, Deanna.” 

“Don't go tellin’ anyone I don't do anything for you, Deanna.” 

“You better clean the garbage out when I get home, Deanna. I don't wanna see that.” 

The name itched him like a bad rash. Made him want to scream. But all he could do was cry. After John was gone and Sammy was asleep. 

His boobs were growing in and everything about his body felt wrong. He was glad he was naturally tall and that he was able to gain more muscle the more John let him go on hunts but it wasn't the same. His shoulders weren't as broad as the other guys in his class, his hips jutted out too much for his liking, and he hated his long hair. 

Dean cut it on his sixteenth birthday and told his father it was under the guise of wanting to be safe. Unpullable hair meant one less thing he had to worry about when it came to monsters. John looked at him suspiciously. He must have known. But he didn't blow up like Dean expected him to. That made the wrenching feeling in his gut twist more. There had to be a catch. 

He came out two weeks after that.

“Thank God.” Dean blinked at the reaction. “I thought I was gonna have a dyke of a daughter. Now, I have another son. You going by another name?” 

Dean wanted to throw up. Somehow, that made everything worse. His father would rather have a son than a lesbian daughter? He didn't want to think about the fact that he still liked boys just not as much as girls. 

He had a few mishaps, he'd look at a few guys as he passed them with John at his side. Dean didn't think too much of it since nothing came of it. Why would John punish him for something as simple as a glance? 

Then his seventeenth birthday came.

Dean's first hunt by himself, specifically curated by his father. He watched the fire in the hole he dug earlier with his hands pushed into the pockets of his jacket. The two bodies were as intertwined as they could be for rotting skeletons. 

The heat was nice. But bittersweet. He was close enough that it could burn him. Dean would've loved to burn to a crisp as well but he had a brother to protect. 

Dean swallowed thickly and gathered up his supplies.

Message heard loud and clear, Dad.

Dean's top surgery was one of the things he remembered the most about his more medical transition. He couldn't get testosterone as much as he wanted to with forged signatures and documents but Bobby offered something else. 

So Dean was laid down on a steel examination table asleep on some anesthetic Bobby was able to get off the black market. Bobby didn't have much experience being a surgeon so it wasn't the best but it was as sterile and safe as it could be. But Dean couldn't have been happier. His chest was flat. That's what he cared about. Even if he had to be at Bobby's for weeks. He was just glad Sam was there too instead of having to leave him alone with John. 

Time passed. Dean leaned hard into his masculinity after John died. A little too hard. 

“You are way out of my brother’s league.”

“Guess how many of these cheerleaders are legal.”

“She's a bitch.”

“Fucking bitch!”

“Bitch!”

Part of it was his frustration with nearly being killed every day of his life, not even by monsters, the other part was the things John beat into him at a young age. If Dean wanted to be a man, he had to be one at John's discretion. He had to like girls but not enough to actually settle down with one. He had to look out for Sam even if that meant he would die. 

So he did. 

Made a deal. Went to hell. 

Except he didn't expect to come back. 

That gas station would forever stay in his mind. He walked for hours to find it. His whole body felt a little different. Jumbled around but he could tell his body was still his. He immediately went for the water bottles and broke the seal, downing it in one go. 

Dean caught a glimpse of a mirror out of the corner of his eye. He walked up to it and licked at his bottom lip, staring at himself. He noticed his sharper jaw decorated with stubble, his hair seemed to be less chopped, his shoulders more broad, and… he had bowlegs? He looked down and then back up. 

Intrigued, he lifted his shirt. His lips dropped open. The scars under his pecs were still there but they were different, no longer botched and scary-looking, but smooth. And his chest. It wasn't completely flat like it was before. His pecs looked more natural, protruding a bit. Like a “real” man. Dean let his shirt drop as he breathed. The handprint on his arm was there too and, for a moment, he knew something cosmic had to be the reason for this, but something inside him felt so happy. Giddy. 

He snuck a peak under his jeans. And, yeah, no he still didn't have a dick but he didn't particularly care about that anyway. One of the only things about his body that didn't matter as much. Well, at least now he felt comfortable in himself even if it came at a price. 

Over and over again. He was reminded of what he “really” was. 

“Daddy's blunt little instrument.”

“Daddy's little girl.” 

Hell, half of it came from himself. As a joke. Not one he particularly wanted to be true.

“I've been re-hymenated.” 

“Ever since I was a little girl.”

“You got anything that’s real?” “My boobs.”

As Dean grew older, he started to shed those kinds of ideals. Not only did it get too heavy to bear but he started not to care anymore. John was dead. Mary was dead. Who did he have to impress? So he didn't mind talking about the fact he didn't have a dick and indulging himself on some things that may be seen as feminine. Like a few satin panties tucked into the bottom of his drawer or the few times he painted his nails—it never lasted long when he went on a hunt. 

Although Dean still thought of his body as a tool, something he could use against their adversaries, it was a little easier to live in when he was in control of what he could do to it. When it was the kind of body he always wanted. So he got more tattoos to cover his body—they were mostly covered by his layers of denim and flannel except for one that creeped onto the side of his neck—his nipples got pierced and he nearly forgot he actually had nerve endings there when it happened, he grew out his hair a bit—not nearly as long as Sam’s but enough that he could style it better—he started wearing earrings and rings again. Not many and usually not during hunts because he had a feeling any monster, or human for that matter, would take advantage of it and tear his ear in half.

Sam and Castiel didn't mention it. Ever. And Dean wasn't sure if he should be grateful for it or not. 

“Why did you…” Dean breathed, glancing up at Castiel. He didn't want to finish the rest of his question. It was right after Mary came back and she had locked herself in some random room in the bunker to process something. 

Dean was no longer her beautiful, young four-year-old daughter Deanna. He was a grown man with shorter hair, a sharp jaw, and stubble. He knew it would be a shock for anyone, especially someone dead for so long but he didn't expect it to reopen a wound he thought had healed years ago. People had only ever thought of Dean as Dean. A man. 

Even the very few women he got with after transitioning still thought of him as a man afterward. 

Castiel’s eyes softened at Dean. He could sense the turmoil inside his head. “I was given liberty to rebuild you in the way I thought would prepare you for Micheal,” He admitted softly. He could see Dean was holding in a breath. “I decided to give you the body you wanted. The one you deserved. I had never seen a soul shine as bright as yours as you looked at my handiwork in that gas station. I knew then, I made the right decision.”

Dean's cheeks flared with blush, averting his gaze to look at anywhere but Castiel. He never quite thought about him being there, watching him admire himself. He knew that was Cas, of course, he did, but to Dean, it wasn't Cas just yet. The Cas he knew was so different from that grinding, high-pitched noise he remembered hearing.

The Cas he knew was safe. His best friend. The closest thing to family he had beside Sam. He was able to be open with Cas in a different way than Sam. 

More and more shit came and went. More and more apocalypses. But Castiel was a constant. Even if he died a few times. Even if he left a few times. He usually came back. Dean wanted him to stay. For good. But even if he was more open with being a transgender guy and liking girls and guys, he still wasn't that open about his feelings. His more complicated feelings. 

“Sam? Deanna?”

That fucking pearl. 

The sight of his father. That's not what Dean wanted. That wasn't his deepest desire. Hell, he didn't even know what his deepest desire was. And that name. He hadn't heard that name in years. Mary caught on quickly that Dean was Dean and that was it. But, of course, his father wouldn't. Even if he liked having Dean as a son more than a daughter. 

That fucking pearl was supposed to get Micheal the fuck out of his head and kill him for good measure. Instead, it brought him the one thing Dean hated more than anything in his life.

On autopilot, Dean locked himself in his room. He nearly fell to his knees but he braced himself on the wall and had half a mind to punch a hole in it. He winced as that banging in his mind got louder. Micheal screamed. Dean slid down the wall and pushed his hands into his hair. His breathing was harbored and he felt suffocated as if something was weighing down his chest.i

Why did that pearl do that? Dean was happy without him. As happy as he could be with an archangel in his head and tonnes of baggage. 

A soft knock brought Dean back to reality. Cas. He pushed himself off the ground and opened the door. 

“Sam told me about your father,” His tone was deathly serious. Dean hadn't heard Castiel sound like that in a while. He was grateful for it. “Would you like me to smite him?”

Dean swallowed. The offer was tempting. “Jesus, Cas, no. I—” Want him gone. Dead. Obliterated. Erased from his memories. Back in Hell. Gone from Heaven. Tortured to be forgotten. “I need you. Here. With me.” His shoulders slumped after the admission. 

“Of course, Dean. Whatever you need.” Castiel's voice softened as his eyes did as well. It was so truthful, said with such fondness Dean nearly cried. 

Dean sat at the end of his bed and motioned for Castiel to do the same. The angel obliged. He knew there was this thing between them. Obvious enough Sam started to call him out on it, never in front of Cas to save him from the embarrassment, but it was always on his mind when they were alone together. He wasn't sure what to do with it. All his feelings. Everything was so complex. Yet simple. It was a strange dichotomy. One he wasn't sure he wanted to admit out loud. 

But the fact that Castiel had only ever seen Dean as a man helped. Drove it into his thick skull what this thing was. Love. Castiel spoke to him so reverently. Spoke his name like a prayer. One Dean desperately wanted to hear over and over again. 

“Hello, Dean.” 

“Of course, Dean.” 

“Good things do happen, Dean.”

“This is a good thing, Dean.”

“He called me Deanna,” Dean admitted softly, eyes focused on his boots. He was naturally tall, even before resurrected by Cas, but the boots gave him an extra inch or so to not look as small next to Sam. He could feel how tense Castiel was after his words. “It's… funny,” He let out a dry laugh, “For years, I've been fine. Been good in that area. But that's just—” Dean took a sharp breath. “People see me as a guy now. At least, they do until they get in my pants. But Dad—John, I fucking look like this,” He gestured to himself, “And he calls me Deanna? Fuck me.” He scoffed. 

For a second, he had a feeling John only humored him when he was younger. Called him Dean, got him a binder before his surgery, just because it was easier. If Dean became a man then he wouldn't look as much like Mary anymore and then maybe he wouldn't see her in his eyes or his face. 

But John still did. This was proof of that. 

“Your father, for lack of a better term, is a bitch.” Castiel said shamelessly. “You are so much more than a man born in the wrong body. It's a shame your father is too blind to see that.”

Dean's breath caught in his throat. And then he laughed. Hard. Hard enough his lungs started hurting and he had to gasp for air. Hard enough that tears started to form at the edges of his eyes and a few even rolled down his cheeks. He didn't register his hand on Castiel's thigh until he set his hand on top of it. 

Dean pulled it away. Or tried. Castiel held it in place. “Your soul…” He murmured. “It shines so bright when you laugh.” 

His voice. So soft and reassuring. Dean screwed his eyes shut. He couldn't help the fluttering in his chest. For the first time in a while, Micheal was silent. It was just him and Cas in the middle of his bed. Safe. Outside his room might be different. 

Dean's eyes lifted to meet Castiel's. They were a brilliant shade of blue he couldn't quite place. Nothing matched it. Sure, he could compare them to the ocean or perhaps the sky but even those didn't come close. Without thinking too hard, Dean let himself go. 

His free hand pulled Castiel close as he brought their lips together. The surprised noise the angel made was cute and Dean could feel him melting into the kiss. Castiel's lips were chapped, Dean chalked it up to him not caring for his vessel much, but everything felt so right. Their fingers intertwined while Cas threaded his free hand through Dean's hair. 

A cough. And suddenly Dean and Cas jumped away from each other. It was Sam. Dean took a breath, thankful that it was Sam and not John. Sam smirked as his eyes flickered between the two men but it was quickly wiped off his face. “Mom and Dad… they want to have dinner together.” He explained, focusing on Dean. 

There was still a lot Dean didn't tell Mary about John. About their life before the Men of Letters bunker. What Dean did to survive, to make sure Sam could live as comfortably as possible, to put food on the table and get a bed to sleep on, even while John was still alive. Bathrooms in gas stations on his knees, in the back of bars, dingy motel rooms. 

John never asked where the money came from, he took it anyway. 

If Mary knew, Dean knew she would look at John in a different light. A part of him didn't want to tarnish that for her. Even though it took some adjusting, she had accepted Dean wholeheartedly. Hell, she only messed up on his pronouns a few times, that was a lot better than when Sam first found out. 

“Dean, do you want…?” Sam didn't finish his sentence. He didn't know the full extent of what John did to him but he knew Dean intentionally took the brunt of the abuse for Sam. And he could never take that back. “He's asking about you. Saying you—you finally look like a man. Wondered what kind of work you had done. Thinks you're…” Sam wasn't trying to guilt trip Dean, quite the opposite. “Thinks you get a lot of girls. Asked if you had a wife or something. Asked if you,” He coughed, “Got a dick yet.” 

Dean’s fist clenched as his face contorted into disgust. Out of the corner of his eye, he could feel Castiel getting frustrated as well. 

Screwing his eyes shut, Michael crept up in his mind again. The screams. The banging. It came back tenfold. “What does he even want? For us to be fucking normal?” Dean huffed.

“Yeah,” Sam said simply. “Dad… he's from 2003. That's what he does best. Act normal when nothing is.” He smiled sadly. 

Dean stood up from the bed and rolled up the sleeves to his flannel shirt. He wouldn't—couldn’t—let his father undo everything he had ever built in the last fourteen years of his life. The small little family he made. Sam, him, Mary, Cas, Jack, and Claire. That was his family. Not John. 

Castiel looked at Dean, concerned. “Are you sure, Dean?” He could see that little boy inside him, still scared of what his father could do to him. But he could also see the grown man he came to be, unafraid of his father because he could likely overpower him now. 

Before he could think about it too hard, Dean nodded. “C'mon, sunshine. I'm not letting him fuck with my head again.” His leg bounced slightly. Not from nerves. 

Dean, Sam, and Cas made their way into the war room where John and Mary sat at the map table. John’s head lifted to look at Dean. Fully look at him. Take in his new appearance. When he appeared, Dean didn't stay long enough for John to get a good look at what he had become. The last time he'd seen Dean, he was twenty-five, wore too big clothes, had a skinner frame, and his hair was short and was never styled. This Dean… was not that.

He grew into his height, broad shoulders, visible muscles under his flannel—John would have never guessed Dean was born a girl. That he was his daughter. 

“Deanna.” John breathed. 

“Dean.” The man corrected. “You're… here.” He wished he wasn't. 

John’s eyes narrowed momentarily. Normally, he would've slapped him for something like that but he wasn't stupid. This Dean had a few pounds on him. “I am. Sam and your mom caught me up on everything that went down,” His eyes shifted to land on Castiel. “That the angel that pulled you out of Hell?” 

“Hello, John.” Castiel greeted, void of any emotion. Dean glanced at him. He knew the angel inside and out and he knew Castiel was getting increasingly annoyed simply being in John's presence. 

Mary sensed the tension between them and coughed. “I was thinking we could have Winchester Surprise?” She suggested softly—ever the peacemaker. 

Dean cocked an eyebrow at his mother. He knew Mary was desperate to have John, they didn't have much time together and she was still very much in love, but no one else wanted him there. Dean didn't and neither did Sam and Castiel was so close to stomping John into a curb. 

“I'm not sure that's a good idea, Mom.” Dean finally said. As much as he wanted to protect her from the real John, the one who was hiding behind a loving façade, he had to break the news to her. There must always come a time when the veil gets taken away from someone’s eyes, showing them the truth.

John tilted his head and Dean couldn't help but feel it was condescending. “Why not? We're all family here. We can be normal for a night,” He stared at Dean a little too hard. “As normal as we can be.”

“We were never normal,��� Dean ground out. It took all his self-control not to just yell at him. Mary looked at Dean worriedly. She'd seen Dean mad, specifically at her, but nothing like this. His shoulders were tense and his nose was drawn into a snarl. 

“You–You don't get it. Never will. You suck for a father. I had to raise Sam myself. You'd fuck off to who knows where drunk half the time and make me, a four-year-old watch over a fucking baby. And you liked me better as a son than a girl who liked girls? What the fuck?” Yeah. Fuck that self-control. Dean’s jaw set in place. “Guess fucking what dad? I like girls and boys. And I could care fucking less what you think of—”

Dean's jaw throbbed. Surprise shivered down his spine. John flexed his hand as he stared down at Dean as he cupped his face.

“John!” Mary yelled.

Castiel nearly jumped John before Dean did. With a single right hook, John was out cold on the floor. He flapped his hand afterward, feeling the soreness immediately. It had been a while since Dean had to punch someone, usually, he had a gun or knife when fighting, he was a little surprised at how effective it was. 

“Dean!” Mary huffed as she went to John's side.

Dean bit the inside of his cheek. He decided he might as well come out with it. “Fuck him, Mom. He was never my father. He never tried to be. I was the only person who watched over Sam. A tool in his life while he was dead-set on revenge. We could have been normal. If he never went on a rampage.” He looked down at the pitiful heap that was his father with disgust. He glanced at Castiel over his shoulder. 

Mary shook her head, trying to reason with Dean. “We're a family. We don't give up on family.” She whispered. 

“Sometimes you do,” Dean huffed softly. As much as he and Sam fought, as many times as they took turns dying, it never got so bad that Dean thought he hated him. At least, not for more than a day or so. “I'm good with who I am. Dad isn't. I don't want him in my life. I don't think I ever had but… this is my life now. I get to live it. Meaning I get to choose who's in it,” He swallowed thickly, knowing what he was about to admit. “In ten years time, it's not with him. Never was.” 

“Dean, you don't mean that.” Mary sighed. Pleading. She wanted to keep John, make up for lost time.

Sam took a step forward. “Mom, you don't get it either. The shit John put Dean through—put both of us through—no kid should have to go through that.”

Mary huffed, “Then tell me. You can't just expect me to know.” 

Castiel stared at her. “Your sons don't have to say anything they are uncomfortable admitting.” He said it as if he was stating the weather forecast. 

Dean pursed his lips. Hurt. He knew Mary wouldn't understand but he didn't quite expect this. He turned on his heels and made his way back into his room. 

Eventually, everything was as it was. John was sent back after Sam destroyed the pearl and Dean could breathe a little more comfortably afterward. Mary shut herself off from them but he had a feeling that would get resolved as much as the gut-wrenching feeling in his stomach told him it wouldn't. He never wanted to see or think about John ever again. Hadn't wanted to for years after the shit he's gone through. 

Dean heard a knock on his door after he got ready for bed. Hell, he was halfway underneath the covers when it happened. He grumbled under his breath, not thinking to put on a shirt or a pair of pants as he opened the door.

“Hello, Dean,” Castiel said softly. As soft as each time before. Dean was suddenly very aware of how bare he was. “Do not be alarmed, it's nothing I haven't seen before.” The angel stepped inside his room, closing the door behind him. 

Castiel's words did nothing to ease Dean's beating heart. It felt like a hammer against his chest, wanting to tear itself out of him. 

Castiel’s eyes never wavered from his face, studying it as if it were a work of art. He lifted a hand to Dean's cheek. Dean felt as if the air was punched out of him. “I want to know if you're okay, Dean.” Those blue eyes—they never looked at him in pity, never. They looked at him with wonder and understanding. 

Dean didn't register the single tear that rolled down his cheek until Castiel's thumb wiped it away. “Not really, Cas.” He breathed. Admitting it didn't feel as bad as he thought it would. 

“Why—” Castiel took a breath, saddened by how destroyed Dean's eyes looked. “Why do you think the pearl… gave you John?” He asked softly as he and Dean sat on his bed. 

Dean glanced at the corner of his room, lip trembling with a mix of rage and sadness. “Maybe the pearl thought I wanted a Dad. Someone who could love me unconditionally. But I—” He paused sharply, eyes finding Castiel's all over again. He wanted to memorize his eyes as if it were the first time he saw them. Or the last. “I have you.” He breathed. For the first time, Dean hadn't been compelled to add Sam at the end of his sentence. 

“You do,” Castiel smiled. And, god, Dean's heart wrenched at the sight. Cas didn't smile, not often. “You always have.” 

Dean let out a shaky breath, leaning into Castiel's hand as it caressed his cheek. He sniffled slightly. “Cas, please…. Please promise me you'll stay. Even—Even if I push you away. You,” He was full-on crying now and Castiel was looking at him as if he was the most beautiful thing in the world. “You'll stay. No matter what.”

“I will.” Castiel whispered light as a feather. Two simple words but it was a promise that meant so much to Dean. 

It was a promise Castiel never intended to break. Why would he? Especially when Dean seemed so desperate. So distraught. He could never leave Dean. Not again. 

“Kiss me.” Dean whispered. Pleaded. He wanted to memorize everything about Cas. The strange body heat he gave off, the tilt of his head, how his lips pressed into a thin line when he was only minorly frustrated by Dean, the roughness of his stubble. Everything. 

For the first time, Dean saw a smirk grace Castiel's lips. “Whatever you want, Dean.” He brought their lips together with a sigh. 

They kissed for a while, pausing for breath in between kisses but they didn't go past that, ending up with Castiel in bed with Dean after he shed his trenchcoat, shoes, and tie. Dean dozed off, peaceful enough to fall asleep in Castiel's arms. 

Even with a fading grace, Castiel didn't sleep much. His body ran well enough on it that sleep wasn't needed. So he stayed up, playing with the hairs on Dean's neck as he watched over him, soothing him as much as possible when he sensed a nightmare coming on. 

“You think you're cursed sometimes Dean,” Castiel cooed on deaf ears but he didn't mind. He had to get it out. “That hate is the only thing that drives you. That you're not built for love. But you are. I think, sometimes—no, I know—that’s all you're made up of. And I–I promise we will find a better way,” Cas lifted his hand to Dean's shoulder, positioning it right above his scar. The scar he burned on his skin. “I love you, Dean.” He whispered into his ear.

For the rest of that night, Dean didn't have nightmares. For the rest of that night, he burrowed himself closer to Castiel. For the rest of that night, Michael was quiet.

[weasleywinchester]

Save Yourself - Ch. 19

Dean Winchester x Female Reader

Oh For One So Pure

Series Summary: “I promise.” Those two words would trap you in a life you never wanted. You are an artist, a hunter, a Winchester. And yet the pain in Dean’s eyes as demanded you live the life he wants you live, you couldn’t say no. You met the Winchesters by chance, found out they were real people. And you figured it was a once in a life time thing, but then Dean called you, and so did a new job. Both leading to the life you wanted, a family that didn’t begin or end in blood and a once in a life time love. And he said leave it and him behind, forget. But you can’t. Chapter Summary Jack is gone. Well, you know exactly where he is; with Mary in what you’ve all agreed is the Apocalypse world. Do any of you know how to get there? No. But what are Winchesters really good at? Distracting themselves with hunting. When Donna calls in a favor for hunting down a possible not-so-supernatural creep, the three of you practically leap through the phone. But this case, and the multiverse problem none of you know how to untangle, bring up some dormant feelings about what it means to be a hunter… and even more about what it means to be a Winchester.

Warnings: Cannon typical violence, some fluff, some sad feels

You’ve been a Winchester long enough to have seen some crazy shit. And you’ve been a Supernatural fan long enough to know all the crazy shit. And when Donna called in a favor to find her niece, you kinda hoped it would be the most black and white monster case you could find. And as expected it was not. Finding a black market ebay for body parts wasn’t something you thought could exist. But if there’s a market, someone will always be there to fill it.

“I can’t believe you’ve been through this.” You grimace as Doug’s temporary fangs disappear.

“At least everyone here has souls.” Dean looks over at Sam, who purses his lips together as if he wishes he could forget that whole incident. Your phone buzzes in your pocket and you quickly silence it.

“That’s the fourth time it’s rung.” Dean comments, raising a brow at you.

“Becky. I missed the last two meetings.” You confess. You were normally pretty good about warning her when you’d be busy with a hunt; but everything with Jack being so unpredictable…

“Call her back, we should be back at the bunker tomorrow.” Dean gives your hand a squeeze. You nod and walk out into the brisk night air.

“Hey, sorry about the last couple of weeks-”

“THANK GOD YOU’RE ALIVE!” She shouts into the phone. “I thought the worst when your phone kept going to voicemail.” She lets out a long sigh, taking a few deep breaths.

“I could see that.” You chuckle.

“Don’t give me a heart attack like that!”

“I’ll do better in the future.” You hold up your hand in surrender. “But what’s up?”

“I have a few design projects I thought you could brainstorm on… And Sera’s been asking about the possibility of continuing the Supernatural books?” Her voice goes an octave higher at the mention of the books.

“Send me the ideas for the stuff to design-”

“Doug, wait!” You hear Donna yell.

“I’ll get back to you about the books-” You reach for the door to go back inside when it swings open and Doug runs into you.

“Doug?” You frown as he gathers himself. “Becky, I gotta go.” You abruptly hang up, lightly grabbing Doug’s shoulder. “Hey, what’s the rush?”

He stops, looking at you over his shoulder.

“Why do you stay?” He whispers, the defeat clear in his voice.

“Well, I sure as hell wasn’t going to leave Donna high and dry-“

“Why do you stay with Dean? Knowing about the– the monsters?” He corrects. The panic rolls off of him like a fog, tendrils curling and whispering for you to get lost in it. 

“What do ya mean?”

“Your husband fights vampires, werewolves… monsters! Things that aren’t supposed to exist! How can you stay?” He harshly whispers, as if saying it too loud makes it any more true. You stare blankly at him; sure you’ve seen plenty of people shaken after their first encounter with the supernatural; but Doug? He’s had to have seen gruesome stuff in his time on the force.

“It’s his job,” you frown, “It would be the same if he were in the military or law enforcement.” You watch as he recedes into his whatever panic storm is happening in his mind. “Are you ok? Did you talk with Donna?” You place a hand on his shoulder, his whole body deflating at your touch.

“I wanted to be a cop to help folks. I didn’t sign on for monsters.” He looks off into the distance, the recent horrors he just witnessed clearly dancing in front of his eyes.

“That’s all Dean and Sam do, save people.” You smile, leaning forward until you catch his gaze. “They unfortunately didn’t have a no monster option. It’s also why Dean gets three hours of sleep a week, can drink a liquor store dry and has enough trauma that any regular person would go insane.”

“And you’re ok with that?” He scoffs, shaking his head at all the terrifying possibilities about what your words mean.

“I didn’t marry him because I think I can fix him. I love him, as he is.” You shrug, watching the thoughts churn in his head as he tries to figure out the next move. “You’re really going to give up Donna because she fights monsters?” You haven’t spent nearly as much time with Donna as you like, but the one thing you know for sure if you both will hang onto your husbands no matter the price.

“I don’t think I’m strong enough.” He whispers. You sigh, pulling him into a hug.

“She thinks you are. And so do I.” You squeeze him tight. “Can I tell you something?” You ask as you let him go. He gives you a small nod, wiping a tear away. “Leaving Donna won’t make the fear go away. It won’t stop you from looking at every person differently. It won’t change the fact that you know what lurks in the dark. But trust me when I say that having her by your side is better than any future without her.” He studies you for a moment, brain calculating all the scenarios.

“Does Dean feel that about you?” He whispers. 

The question punches you right in the gut. It should have been a simple answer. A yes of course he does, that’s why we're married. But your mouth feels like it’s full of sand. Every moment where Dean has pushed you away, told you to leave, to forget, comes rushing to the forefront. And here you stand. Telling Doug he should stay; that he should want to stay. But you have no evidence that it would be good for him; that he could continue on with his life as normal. The one thing you learned being with Dean is that you were involved with the family business whether you wanted it or not. It’s just how it went being close to a hunter.

The motel door creaks open, Sam and Donna making their way to the car.

“Ready sweetheart?” Dean asks, taking your hand.

“Ya.” You smile at him, giving his hand a squeeze as you turn back to Doug. “Talk with Donna, she deserves that. You both deserve to make a decision together.” You give Doug a small smile, letting Dean guide you to the car.

_______

One thing nice about driving with the boys is you could boot Sammy to the front and sprawl out in the back. Dean even keeps a little blanket in the trunk for you. Leather seats are three things: cold, hot or sticky. Can’t have baby makin you uncomfortable sweetheart. You smile at the memory as you stare at the back of Dean’s head. The rain gently thumps at the windows, Sammy’s fingers clacking against the keys of his laptop.

“You were a little tough on Donna back there.” Dean states, keeping his voice low to not disturb you.

“What?” Sam frowns, the clacking coming to an abrupt stop.

“Just sayin’.” Dean shrugs, taking in a deep breath. He couldn’t believe he told Donna to let Doug go; Sam, telling her to let the love of her life go. 

“Was I wrong? I mean, when has knowing us ever worked out for anyone?” His eyes flick to you as you roll to face the back of the seat.

“(Y/N)?” Dean shrugs.

“What?”

“It’s worked out for (Y/N), according to her.” Dean clarifies.

“Oh ya, I bet she always dreamed of falling in love with a guy who constantly tells her she can’t be a hunter because she could die. And who constantly makes life altering decisions for her.” Sam deadpans.

“We save people, Sam.” He points out. Save tons of people, every day, every year. That has to count for something.

“Yeah, we also get people killed, Dean. Kaia, for instance. She helped us and she died for it. And the list of (Y/N) getting hurt or almost dead isn’t exactly short.”

“Hey, look, I know you’re in some sort of a—” 

“No, no, no, don’t – don’t… You keep saying I’m in a dark place, but I’m not, Dean. Everything I’m saying is the truth. It’s our lives. And I tried to pretend it didn’t have to be. I tried to pretend (Y/N) would be safe, that we could have Mom back and Cas and – and help Jack. But we can’t. This ends one way for us, Dean. It ends bloody.”

The three of you sit in silence. Dean always told you he would go down fighting; it always seemed to be the hand he was dealt. He just never actually died, so you both had agreed that maybe that’s not the true end designed for him. But Sam giving up on the happily ever after? That was just as bad as you giving up…

“You’re the reason she holds on so tight.” He whispers, seeing Sam turn toward him out of the corner of his eye. “You told her to always keep fighting; to fight for the life she wants, to fight for me. I was prepared to let her go years ago. Prepared for my soul to ache for the rest of my life.” He accuses. “But you’re the one who said to not give her up. To fight for her. Why –”

“Maybe I shouldn’t have.” Sam interrupts. You shift in your seat, moving your blanket to muffle the sound of your heart breaking.

_______

One would think spending their whole life fighting everything that lurks in the dark would make it uncomfortable. But as Sam lays in the pitch black of his room, he feels calm. He’s embraced the fact that he lives in the dark, like some creature waiting for whatever fight is next. No searching for something to hold on to, for hope about the future.

God was no better than any other supernatural being, Mom and Jack are as good as dead… After tossing and turning he gets up, easily making his way down the hall in the dark. He stops at your studio door and listens; he can hear the faint clicking of your keyboard accompanied by a faint static noise he can only assume is music. He gently pushes the door, you’re bopping your head along to whatever’s coming through your headphones as you mess with a project on your computer.

He lets his eyes wander around the room; it’s filled with fabric, blank canvases, half painted paintings, partially done costumes and a large wall of books. This room is very much you; warm, inviting and filled with things that make you happy. It was often a safe space for him, both when you were in it and when you weren’t. You both had many late night conversations about anything that came to mind, talked through a lot of the darkness he carried with him.

“Geezus Sammy!” You jump out of your chair, nearly knocking over your water bottle. “Scared the tarts out of me!” You move it out of arms reach and slide off your headphones.

“Right, sorry.” He frowns. You tilt your head to the side, walking over to him and gently taking his hands in yours.

“You ok?” you ask. He gives you a curt nod, eyes looking anywhere but at you.

“Whatever happened to that painting, the one with the two hands holding onto each other?”

“It’s here, haven’t got around to hanging it up.” You pull it out from a stack that’s leaned against the wall, putting it up on your easel and sliding the fabric sheet off to reveal it.

“Always keep fighting.” Sam mumbles, his fingers gently tracing the words. It’s written dozens of times in the background, your perfect sloppy writing making it feel like you’re telling him to do just that.

“Sammy!” You yell over your shoulder in the general direction of his room.

“Ya?” He yells back.

“Come here!”

He pads down the hall, standing in your doorway.

“Need you to hand model with me.” You wave him over. You take one hand, having  him wrap his fingers around your wrist while you do the same. “Now pull.”

He pulls, a little too hard, and you ram into his chest.

“Not that hard Sammy!” you giggle. 

“Ok, ok… not that hard. Got it.”

He huffs in amusement at the memory. It seemed silly at the time but it’s moving to see your hand holding him up, keeping him from slipping away.

“Why is one side written upside down?”

“Because love flows both ways.” You rotate the picture so now his hand is holding yours. You slot your hand into his, leaning your head on his arm as the two of you study it.

“What if holding on was the mistake?” He asks.

“It wasn’t.” You can feel him shift against you. “I didn’t walk into this life blind Sam.” You bite down on your tongue, praying the tears not to slip down your face. “I-”

He pulls you into his arms, squeezing you tight. He has always pulled you closer; pulled you into the hunting life, into his brother’s life, into his own life. Selfish. It was the only word that came to his mind. He always thought that karma would follow through. That every single monster he and Dean put in the ground would let them have just a sliver of something good. And he was hoping it would be you. But maybe Dean was right this whole time, you’ll only end up hurt or dead.

@deansqtpie

@supraveng

@winchestersgirl222

@fantasy-myth1

@laycblack

@urgirlarrielle

@akshi8278

@arctusluna

@malindacath

@lyarr24

@flamencodiva

@havesaltwilltravel

@deansbbyx

Last Chapter Next Chapter

Series Master List

[hoboal87]

Don't Speak, Part 22

Pairings: dark!Sam x Reader, dark!Dean x Claire

Characters: dark!Sam, dark!Dean, pregnant!Reader, Claire, Ellen, Bobby, Adam

Warnings: dark!Winchesters, Trauma Bonding/Stockholm Syndrome, Non-graphic descriptions of Non-Con/Rape, Violence, Manipulation, Guilt, Threats, Pregnancy

WC: 3400+

beta’d by the wonderful, lovely, @writethelifeyouwant

This is a dark!fic that includes potentially triggering content and is intended for mature audiences only. You are responsible for your own media consumption, so please, read the warnings and if you feel that you may be triggered and/or offended please move along. If you have any questions about the warnings/tags please feel free to DM me.

Don’t Speak Masterlist

My Full Masterlist

Part 21

The sight of Adam nearly causes you to faint. You have hoped, prayed, that somehow he managed to escape–that he wouldn’t also fall victim to the brothers–and your heart pounds in your chest as you take in the sight of him. Old and new cuts and bruises cover every visible inch of his body, his eyes are sunken in, his skin taut, and he looks as if hasn’t slept or eaten in weeks. A ratty shirt that had once fit him properly is now held together by mere threads and covered in dried blood stains. But the worst part is the metal collar locked around his neck, connecting to his wrists and ankles. Adam’s gaze fixes on you for a moment, the ghost of a smile on his lips fading quickly when Sam tugs sharply on the shackles.

You want to run to him, apologize for ever bringing him into your complicated relationship with the Winchesters. You should’ve disobeyed John, especially now that you know that it wasn’t Adam who fathered your baby after all, and you were already pregnant when the family left in January. If you’d only waited a few weeks longer to fulfill John’s instructions, you could’ve saved yourself and Adam from all the pain that you caused by following those orders. You stop yourself from moving, especially when you realize that Sam’s eyes are narrowed in on you, as if he’s waiting to see what you’re going to do now that Adam is here. 

“Check her,” Dean orders, gesturing towards Claire, baby Amelia still in his arms. Adam doesn’t move, his eyes flickering to Sam, as if he’s asking him for permission to follow Dean’s instruction. What has Sam done to him? “Now, Milligan.” 

Sam nods, loosening his grip before producing a key, he unlocks the chains and Adam shuffles towards Claire. Dean hands the baby over to you, stepping back to Sam, who offers a hand to shake his brother’s in congratulations.

You rock the baby in your arms as Adam inspects Claire, taking in her tiny features. Though you knew it wouldn’t matter who fathered Amelia, you can’t help but think of the relief that Claire will have knowing that her husband is Amelia’s father. She’s the spitting image of Dean, plump lips and a button nose and large almond shaped eyes, irises already tinged with green. As the brothers share hushed words between them, you walk back towards Claire, shushing Amelia as she begins to stir. Adam offers a sweet smile to Claire telling her that she did well before giving strict instructions to stay on bedrest for the next week. He then turns to you, reaching out to take the baby from your arms. Your skin prickles under his touch and you lock eyes, and again you fight the urge to tell him how sorry you are. 

He gives Amelia a quick once over, the newborn wailing in his arms, and he gently shushes her before handing her back to Claire. 

“Your wife and daughter are both perfectly healthy,” Adam says meekly as he approaches Dean and Sam. 

There’s a snide smile on Sam’s face as Dean takes in Adam’s words. At first you don’t understand what Sam is finding funny; recently he’d been just as obsessed with heirs as John was. John had mentioned more times than you can remember about the brothers’ needing heirs. Legitimate male heirs. Mr. Finch’s words from months echo in your ears as though it was just repeated in the quiet room. 

Tell me you want me to put a son in you. 

“I guess that means the Manor is mine,” Sam snickers, a poor attempt at a joke that Dean clearly doesn’t find funny, and the elder brother puts his fist through the wall behind him. You back away from the brothers as a remark from Dean sets Sam seething, and he tackles Dean to the ground. Grunting and the sounds of fists hitting flesh fill the room as the brothers tumble across the floor. 

With the Winchesters occupied, you seize the opportunity–albeit a foolish one–and grab Adam’s hand. You guide him towards the passageway that you and Dean entered from earlier in the night, stopping briefly at the bed to place a kiss on Claire’s forehead and promise you’ll get her out, too. You instruct her to call for Bobby or Ellen before disappearing into the passageway. With the door closed behind you, you make for your and Sam’s room hoping that, once you get there, you and Adam can escape.

You quickly realize that it may not have been the best idea to use the secret passage, though. From your and Sam’s room, it seemed to be a straight shot, but what you failed to notice before is that there are multiple connections, and you don’t know which one leads where.

“Which one, Y/N?” Adam pants behind you.

“I don’t– I’m not sure,” you sob, cradling your stomach. This isn’t a good idea, you could end up quite literally anywhere in the Manor. “Maybe we should go back, if they don’t know we’re gone–” 

“I think it’s too late for that, Kitten,” Adam grabs your hand. “And I– I can’t go back. Think, sweetheart.” 

Each hall looks nearly identical to the other. If you’d paid closer attention before, you wouldn’t now be stuck in a labyrinth behind the walls of Winchester Manor. You fall against the wall, cursing yourself for thinking that you could get yourself and Adam out of here.

“I’m sorry, Adam,” you mumble. “This is all my fault. I shouldn’t’ve– If I’d told them the truth, Dean would’ve never–”

Adam sits down beside you, wrapping his arm around you gingerly and pulling you close to him. “It’s okay, Y/N.” 

You let out a deep breath. The longer you sit here, the greater the chance that Sam or Dean would realize that you’re trying to escape and figure out how you were doing it. If Claire was able to alert Bobby to the fighting brothers, there was a good chance they wouldn’t be able to get to her just yet. 

As your eyes adjust to the barely lit corridor, you see something on the adjacent wall– an SW and DW etched into it, and you decide that hall must be the one they used to sneak into the other’s room. You struggle to stand and Adam catches on quickly, rising himself before offering you a hand to help you up. You guide him towards the walkway, excitement filling you as you reach the door to Sam’s room, knowing that you and Adam are close to freedom.

“Y’know, every time I think we’ve broken you, you somehow manage to get just enough of your fight back to do something so fucking stupid, Y/N.” A voice makes you turn and you see a pistol pointing at you and Adam. Your heart stops. Sam’s sporting what looks to be the beginning of a black eye and has a slight limp as he takes a few steps towards the two of you. “I thought we were past all this, Princess.”

“It was me,” Adam steps in front of you, “I made her do it.”

“Is this true, Y/N?” Sam asks, eyeing you sternly while fixing the pistol solely on Adam. You’re torn, afraid that Sam might kill Adam if you go along with the lie, but even more afraid of what Sam will do to you both if you tell the truth. 

Adam turns his head slightly so that you can meet his eyes, and he gives an almost imperceptible nod, encouraging you to play along.

“Yes,” you mumble, and as soon as the word leaves your mouth, Sam closes the distance between him and Adam and hits him too many times to count with the butt of the pistol until the doctor’s body falls to the floor with a thunk. Angry red marks cover Adam’s face and a stream of blood flows from his mouth and nose. Sam uses his shirt to wipe down the pistol, staining it red, before stomping on Adam’s hand and then his stomach. He turns away, smirking as he disappears out of the room.

Adam’s face is swelling within seconds, and you drop to your knees, hoping and praying that Sam hasn’t killed him. You place your hand under his nose, breathing out a sigh of relief when you feel a faint breath against your fingers. 

“He attacked Y/N, Bobby, I had to stop him,” Sam’s voice carries from the hall. 

When you look up, you see Sam and Bobby entering the room from the main doorway. You can’t remember the last time you’d seen him or Ellen. 

“We need to get him back downstairs,” Sam urges, sounding rattled. 

“Are you sure that’s what happened here, Sam? ‘Cause from where I’m standing, it looks like you beat the tar out of him for no reason,” Bobby retorts.

“He’s been obsessed with Y/N for months. He’s the one who attacked her and Claire last year! If Dean hadn’t found them…” You’re not sure why Sam’s ability for lying comes as a shock to you. “Y/N, sweetheart, he can’t hurt you,” Sam reaches out for you, and helps you up, wrapping his arm possessively around your shoulders. 

“Why do you think I’ve been keeping her close? I couldn’t risk something else happening to her. He’s delusional, Bobby. You want to know what he told Dean?” Sam doesn’t wait for a response, plowing on in his tirade. “He said that he was our brother– that he deserved everything we had. That if we didn’t allow him to continue caring for Y/N and Claire, that he would make sure everyone in town knew about Joanna. I love Joanna like a sister; we couldn’t let her reputation be tarnished because dad wouldn’t allow Dean to marry her. You know no matter how much he discouraged it, they were sweethearts. Dean only sent her away because he thought it was what dad wanted, but dad included her in his will, Bobby. He knew that it was Dean’s child. And she and Henry should be here with us. Tell Ellen to bring her here.”

Sam is speaking so quickly and erratically that you can barely keep up. You haven’t seen Joanna since John’s funeral, and all you were told when you asked about her absence previously was that she was ill. You’d caught her and Dean in compromising positions more than once. Is that why she’s been gone? To have her baby in secret so that no one would know that she was unmarried and pregnant? To save herself and Ellen the embarrassment of having an illegitimate child? You watch as Bobby takes in everything Sam has said. 

“I might not be an educated man, Sam, but I ain’t stupid.” Bobby narrows his eyes. “I’ve known you your whole life–I practically raised you–and you think I don’t know when you’re lyin’? Your daddy paid Adam to watch over the girls and help ensure safe deliveries. And you’ve been keeping him locked up for months. You think Ellen and me can’t see the bruises, that we don’t hear the screams? You think that little of us, boy? You think that you can use us to keep covering up your and Dean’s messes?”

“I think,” –Sam steps forward, the facade of a man scared for the life of his wife and child dropped now, his voice lowering dangerously– “if you don’t do as you’re told…” He leans forward and you can no longer make out his words. Bobby’s face drains of color, his eyes wide, and his whole body goes stiff as Sam pulls away. “Have I made myself clear, Robert?” Bobby nods his head. You’d never seen Sam interact this way with Bobby, and whatever he said clearly has Bobby afraid for his life. 

“But you are right about one thing; Y/N and Claire, they’ll need someone to look after them while Dean and I take our next case. Take him to the servants quarters and tend to his injuries. Once he’s healed, he is only allowed to see Y/N under your or Ellen’s supervision. Is that understood? And I wasn’t just carrying on about Joanna. Dean and I will expect her and Henry moved in by the time we return. Now, get him out of here and send someone to clean up this mess.”

Bobby only nods, moving towards Adam and picking him up off the floor. A pained groan leaves Adam, and for a brief moment his eyelids flutter. Sam locks the door behind them as Bobby exits, and you’re not sure what to expect from him next. He stalks towards you, tearing off his shirt. You make a decision that you’re sure you’ll regret, and try to grab the pistol, but Sam beats you to it.

“I know it wasn’t Adam’s idea to escape,” he growls, grabbing your arm roughly. “But the fact that you let him take the fall for it–that was surprising. How do you keep managing to surprise me, Y/N?” Sam’s hand snakes up your back before grabbing your loose hair and yanking your head back. “And going for this?” he waves the pistol in front of your face, “was even more unexpected. Maybe I need to teach you another lesson,” he grunts with a pull of your hair, causing you to whimper.

“Please, Sam, I promise I’ll be good.” 

Sam moves you both towards the bed, and when the backs of your knees hit the mattress, you fall backward. He lifts your nightdress over your belly and exposes your breasts, the gun tracing your silhouette, and for a moment you’re afraid he might try to fuck you with it, but instead he sets it down after a moment, just out of your reach, and pins your hands above your head. He enters you roughly, giving you no time to adjust, and sets a fast and brutal pace. Your focus falls to the window as you wait for him to finish.

August

Claire is given a clean bill of health by Dorothy a few days later, and with that the brothers are gone. A weight is lifted off your shoulders, and you feel like you can finally breathe for the first time in months. Under Sam’s orders, Joanna is back in the Manor within a week and is assigned to be the children’s wetnurse and nanny. You, Claire and Joanna are all moved into the rooms closest to the nursery which now houses both Amelia and Henry.  A third bassinet sits empty waiting for your baby to fill it. 

Several new servants were brought in by Dean before they’d left nearly a month prior and according to him they were there to protect you, Claire, Joanna, and the children. You aren’t sure who Dean thinks you need protecting from, especially when he and Sam were the only people in the Manor who had ever hurt you, but you have to admit knowing that Dean is concerned about the well-being of all of you is heartening. 

Benny, the guard assigned to you, is nice enough, and for the most part gives you a wide berth. He’s larger than Dean but not as tall as Sam, and you can see why Dean had hired him. He accompanies you on your daily walks through the grounds and escorts you everywhere else in the Manor. Though you insist that it isn’t necessary, he maintains that he was given explicit instructions to stay by your side. 

For the weeks following you fall into a routine; morning walks with Benny, afternoons spent with Claire as she heals and the babies, and evenings exploring the Manor, you’d been there for so long, but hadn’t truly been out of the East Wing. Each week, Bobby receives a letter from Dean and the time frame of their absence is extended another week. Once one case is finished, the brothers would start working another one, and a part of you wonders if they ever truly plan to return back to Kansas. 

True to Sam’s word, the one and only time you’ve seen Adam since the brothers’ departure is under Bobby’s watchful eye. There was so much you wanted to say to him: apologize for getting him involved, not only once, but twice. If you hadn’t made a stupid and feeble attempt at an escape, and hadn’t let him take the blame, you’d both be better off. He hardly says anything to you, speaking mostly in two or three word sentences, before declaring you to be in good health. You attempt to follow Bobby and Adam when they exit, but to your dismay, Benny stops you, instead taking you in the opposite direction. 

There’s a knowing look on Ellen’s face when she enters your room the next day, ordering Benny to help himself to lunch, while you and she tend to “wifely” things. Once Benny has disappeared, she asks you to follow her, guiding you to a secret door that you’ve never noticed before, and you curse yourself for not realizing sooner that the Manor had to be filled with multiple passageways, linking more than just bedrooms. 

Ellen briefly tells you how to recognize which passage leads where and how you can use the secret corridors to go between the different wings of the house, pointing to one in particular that, according to her, might be of interest to you, and another hall that, if you were so inclined, would lead you outdoors. You don’t miss the implication of the information that she’s given you, but you know you can’t leave. Sam and Dean still need you. After your last night together–before they’d gone away–you were woken up to loving touches and sweet words from your husband that reminded you why you’d ever fallen for him in the first place. Beneath the brutality and the bouts of mania, there is a kind and sweet Sam that you cherish. If you could give Sam and Dean the son they both so desperately want, maybe things could change.

You know you need to cast Adam out of your thoughts. You can’t be a loyal wife to Sam and Dean if you also have feelings for Adam– you need closure. You could tell him how the passages work, and maybe he could escape. With the brothers extending their trip so much, he could be far away by the time they return. It was the least you could do for him. 

You consider for days when might would be best to try to find Adam and help him escape. You’re sure Ellen was giving you a clue as to where he was being kept, but you won’t dare ask her for more clarification. According to Dean’s most recent letter, the brothers aren’t expected to return for at least another week. The sooner you helped Adam leave, the more time he could have getting out of Kansas City, the state, or even the country if he so desired. You doubt the brothers thought him important enough to chase all over the world; he’d fulfilled his deal with John, there was no reason for him to stay to just deliver your baby. 

As the week comes to a close, you know you have to make a decision, and soon. After dinner is served that night, you and Claire spend the rest of the evening in the nursery, chatting and playing with the babies, before Ellen orders you both out so that she and Joanna can put them to bed, leaving one oil lamp burning as a nightlight for the children, as one of the new guards takes his place outside the nursery door.

Benny escorts you the short distance to your room, offering you a “goodnight, cher” as you close the door behind you. You’re confident that Benny won’t disturb you for the rest of the night, so you make the decision that tonight is the night to free Adam. You grab your own oil lamp from the beside, quickly filling it with the reserve kept in your room to ensure you had enough light to see Adam outside. 

You creep through the hidden door in your room and make your way down the hall Ellen had said would be “of interest”, hoping that you didn’t misunderstand her tone, and you wouldn’t be walking into something much worse than finding Adam. You’re not sure how long you follow the grimey and dim corridor, you hoped that you could maybe get an idea of where exactly you were in the Manor, but with multiple ones branching off you realize you could be anywhere.

Part 23

Feedback is fuel! Please tell me what you think!

[hannibals-favourite-meal]

The Trouble of Love Languages

Dean Winchester x plus size reader

Dean’s love language is quality time and acts of service while the woman he loves most in this world craves physical touch, which is the one thing he can’t stand.

Warnings: angst to fluff, they’re both in a bit of the wrong here, Dean has touch aversion, arguing, Dean is definitely an asshole with lots of unresolved issues, slightly toxic relationship?, break up, reader is ever so slightly touch starved, lovers to ex’s to lovers again, drinking, crying, comfort, hopeful ending, Sam is a good wingman

WC: 4.7k

Minors DNI

Dean Winchester hated to be touched. After spending all of his life with minimal kind physical touch with the people he cared about, it was no wonder he had an aversion to it. He could put up with a hug or slap on the back to his brother and fleeting kisses to his girlfriend’s cheek or forehead but everything else was off limits.

She did her best with what she got but sometimes, she just wanted to be held against his broad chest and inhale his unique scent of cheap cologne and gunpowder with just a hint of cherry pie. She wanted to feel the warmth of his body pressed tightly to her but her love for the hunter kept those needs locked behind a steel door that she never noticed had begun to rust.

Y/N sighed, putting down the massive book on werewolves that she had been studying for the past few hours. There was a tight band around her head that was slowly drawing tighter and tighter as a killer tension headache set in. She glanced over to the other side of the library where Dean had his feet perched up on the table as he leaned back in his chair, mindlessly sucking one of the lollipops Y/N had bought for Halloween.

He was only wearing a gray henley today instead of his usual many layers of plaids and shirts so she could see, very clearly, the way his muscles moved under the fabric and the slight pudge of his belly. Those dazzling green eyes were fixed on a new edition of some car magazine he picked up on the way back from a hunt. Y/N couldn’t help it.

Slipping from her own chair, she glided over to him. “What’cha reading?” 

“Magazine.” He grunted but she knew he wasn’t being mean, sometimes Dean just didn’t want to talk. Without thinking, she laid her hands on his thick shoulder and gave them a squeeze.

Dean flinched out of her grasp, turning so quickly that Y/N had to take a step back to avoid being knocked over.  His chair clattered to the floor as the library settled into an explosive silence. Y/N knew Dean could be scary, he’s been through so much trauma, seen and experienced things twenty times over that no human should ever have to see or experience even once. He told her of his time in hell and as a demon but promised that she would never be scared of him because he would protect her.

But now, as his chest heaved with heavy breaths, he was positively terrifying. “How many times have I told you not to do that?” He didn’t wait for a reply. “You know I don’t like to be touched and yet you still continue to do it. How long is it going to take before you get it? I. Don’t. Want. To. Touch. You.” His voice was level but filled with anger, a rage she had only seen when he confronted the worst kinds of monsters imaginable.

“Dean I’m sorry I-“ 

“You know maybe we shouldn’t even be together. Time and time again, you do this and you always say you’re sorry and that you won’t do it again but then a couple days later, you do.” Y/N’s heart was breaking right in front of the hunter but he was too blind with fury he couldn’t see it. “I can’t be with someone as fucking needy as you. It’s every goddamn day! I can’t get one second of peace with you being so clingy.”

That was the last straw. Y/N pushed a finger into his chest, shoving him backwards. He knew how insecure she was about her need for affection and constant reassurance, but until now, he never made her feel like it was an inconvenience. “Then yeah we shouldn’t be together. But you’re not going to be the one to break us up, I am. You’re a selfish man Dean Winchester. I don’t ask a lot from you. I ask that you take care of yourself, that you don’t cheat on me, that you treat me with respect and maybe the occasional hug so I don’t feel like one of your one night stands when you roll off of me after sex.

“I deserve someone who wants to be near me, who tries to understand what I need instead of brushing me off because you don’t want to make the effort. I am sick of being treated like a toy you can pick up and put down whenever you want a quick fuck or comfort. So Dean, you got your wish, we’re done.” Y/N turned and stormed off, her eyes burning with tears that didn’t fall until she could no longer hear her now ex destroying the library.

It was sad how quickly her bags were packed, only a duffle bag and a backpack that housed her entire life. She paused as she lifted the flannel she often wore to bed, the red and black fabric was soaked in Dean’s scent and never failed to make her feel safe every time she wore it.

It felt like a reminder of her faults, of all the things wrong with her that he couldn’t put up with. Scoffing, she threw it onto the bed they had shared only a couple hours ago. There was a quick knock on the door jam.

Sam, the gentle giant that he was, leaned on the wood, brown eyes big with concern. “Where’s Dean?” 

“Don’t know, don’t care.” She snapped, quickly zipping up her bag and tossing it over her shoulder, barging past him.

“Hey hey, what’s going on? Did you and Dean have a fight?” He trailed after her like a puppy, sadly watching as she stomped towards the garage which notably was missing the prized Impala. A cruel part of her mind cooed that it was probably parked at some bar where he would find someone better than her. 

“If you can call it that.” She muttered, throwing open the door to her truck and shoving her stuff in. Just as she was about to climb in herself, Sam’s hand wrapped around her forearm to hold her back.

“What happened?” Tears quickly rolled down her full cheeks, wetting the shirt she was wearing as they made their way down her neck. She turned to look at the men who had become her best friend, her voice firm with a slight quiver of sadness. 

“We broke up.”

With a quick pull of her arm, Sam released her and she stepped into the cab of the truck. She rolled down the window, giving him a somber look. “Take care of him, ok. And-“ Y/N debated her next words carefully before speaking again. “Tell him I love him, even if he doesn’t believe it. He needs to know he’s loved.”

And with that, she drove off, leaving behind a very confused Sam and a life that she wished she could have kept.

——————

Another town, another hunt, another bar. That’s how it always went and for a long time, Dean was content to keep it that way. Then she blew into his life like a hurricane, knocking everything off path and forging her own. No more random hookups or drinking beer with every meal. She even made him get rid of all the guns he mounted on the wall in his room.

And now, the hurricane had passed, leaving behind destruction and a hole the shape of her in his heart. But she would not come back, he made sure of that when he called her clingy. He knew it was wrong but he couldn’t stop himself from saying it. He regretted it the moment it left his mouth and watched as the light in her eyes died.

She was gone, because of him, because of his stupidity he lost the best thing that has ever happened to him and the only thing he could do was accept it. So, he went back to his old ways, paving over the path of destruction in his soul the only way he knew how, beer, hunts, and women. 

Sam decided to stay in the motel that night, shooting his older brother a look so devastating that Dean couldn’t meet his eye for fear he would see the disappointment and pity he already felt in himself. But Dean slipped out the door anyway and headed for the closest bar, truly not giving a shit if it was any good or not.

The music was too loud, the lights too dim, the beer too stale. Dean, however, was determined to stay, trying to convince himself that he could go on without her. He downed his first drink quickly, not letting the taste hit his tongue before his glass was drained. Signaling for another one, he rested his elbow against the sticky bar counter.

It was familiar, like returning to your childhood home. But it felt wrong. The voice in the back of his mind was screaming at him to leave, to find her and crawl on his knees begging for forgiveness until she came back. That voice was silenced with another glass of cheap whiskey.

The hand planted on his chest was familiar too. A touch he could tolerate because he knew what came after, sweaty bodies rutting together until that rush of dopamine hit him and he could feel like a normal person for a while. She was pretty, young too and obviously enamoured by the sexy older man with a gruff voice that bought her drinks and made her feel special.

Another drink. She asked him to go back to hers and he agreed, following blindly after her as she led him away. He couldn’t remember the walk to the non descript apartment, only coming back to himself when she took his hand in her own, shooting him a wink that he supposed was meant to be sultry but just served to lessen the ache in his cock. 

Her slender fingers hooked into the belt loops of his jeans, tugging his thin hips into hers and pulled him into her home. The door slammed shut behind him, blindly following her. 

A grunt was knocked from his lungs as she moved him onto her bed, sinking to her knees with hooded eyes. “Lemme take care of you baby.” Her voice was grating on his ears. Dean resisted the urge to flinch when her palms were laid on his muscular thighs.

It was so wrong, a nightmare he couldn’t escape but at the same time, didn’t want to because he wanted to prove something to himself, to validate his anger and his rage at the woman that loved him so much. Dean felt her tug at his belt and was broken from his thoughts.

“Stop. Just stop.” He all but shoved the girl off of him in his haste. 

“What the hell!” She chastised, quite obviously offended at having been rejected by this man that until a few seconds ago, seemed very keen to have a night of fun with her. Dean shook his head and with a muttered ‘sorry’ left her kneeling on the bedroom floor.

“You fucking dick!” She called after him, and he couldn’t help but agree.

——————

Jody’s home was pleasant enough to live in. With home cooked meals every single night and a deluge of girl talk with not only the Sheriff but the two teens in her charge. It was a good distraction for a while, getting caught up in the usual antics of the young women that Y/N imagined Sam and Dean were like when they were younger.

But even the best distractions can only last for a little while. And each night, as she settled into the small bed graciously given to her, Y/N just felt alone. She was out of place here, a passing visitor that had overstayed her welcome long ago. No matter how much Jody may have protested the opposite and Claire and Alex insisted that they loved having her there, this wasn’t Y/N’s home.

Her home had always been Dean. His presence had soothed her soul in a way that nothing had ever done before. She lived for nights where they would drink and laugh themselves silly or when he would prepare her coffee just the way she liked it in the morning. She desperately missed how his face would break out into an uneven and frankly goofy smile when she teased Sam.

In a vain attempt to stop her mind from going down a road that she knew would make her spiral, Y/N shoved her headphones in her ears and blasted a random playlist. The soft guitar and crooning voice so similar to Dean’s had her eyes burning with tears. Her chest ached as she thought about the way he sang to her in the car, his hand on the seat beside her plump thigh, not quite touching her but close enough she knew it was there.

Tears rolled down her temples wetting the pillow beneath her head as she let herself mourn the love she had lost. Her sobs were silent, mere hiccups as she forced herself not to make any noise to alert the others. She couldn’t take anymore of their pitying looks.

She hugged herself tightly as her nails dug into her soft forearms, her chest heaving with her cries. Images of the man she considered her soulmate with another woman sent her deeper down the rabbit hole of self-despair. She could only imagine what he had gotten up to in the weeks since she left and it was driving her crazy.

The song faded out, leaving Y/N alone with her thoughts for a second too long. The brightness of the screen blinded her for just a moment before she clicked on the last text exchange in her phone.

I love you sweetheart

The low buzz of the outgoing call rumbled against her chest where she placed her phone face down. In the silence between each ring, she was doubting her decision more and more. Why should she reach out first when he was the one that broke them? 

“Hello?” His raspy voice came out crackled through her head phones, making her heart jump slightly. 

“S-sorry butt dial.” She panicked, quickly hanging up but not before hearing him call out, “Wait! Plea-“ Y/N threw her phone onto the pile of her clothes in the corner of the room, ignoring how it was now ringing again, a photo of her and Dean lighting the screen.

Sleep did not come easily that night even after her cries ceased, her eyes finally fluttering closed as the sun began to peak over the horizon, dousing the room in a soft pink.

——————

It was rare that music didn’t play in the Impala. There was almost always a constant stream of classic rock that spewed from the radio, yet the silence was more overwhelming than the usual loud songs Dean sang along to. 

Sam was deeply concerned for his older brother. He knew the break up hit him hard, no matter how hard he tried to hide it, but the younger Winchester didn’t think it was this bad. Dean reeked of the same whiskey he religiously drank after they lost Bobby. His clothes were rumpled and dirty, the Impala, his prized possession looked dull and lifeless, caked with dirt and dead bugs.

Dean hadn’t shaved in the weeks since she left so he now sported a semi-impressive beard which Sam attempted to make fun of just the same as his own facial hair had been but Dean had merely grunted and ignored him. “Are you going to tell me where we’re going?” He attempted to start a conversation.

“Jody’s.”

“Why?” The one word answers were nothing new, but at least he was talking. Dean’s green eyes flicked briefly over to his brother before returning to the road. 

“Hunt.” Sam sighed, slumping back against the leather bench of the car, his focus shifting to the world that was speeding past them. He was sick of this self-pitying attitude that was slowly driving the older man to madness when it could be solved so easily.

“If you pulled your head out of your ass, you could get her back.” The air in the car turned to ice. “Don’t act like I didn’t hear you frantically calling her last night.” 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” He growled, knuckles turning white as his grip on the steering wheel tightened. But Sam kept pushing.

“She’s the best thing to have ever happened to you and you just let her leave. Or maybe you just never loved her since you went home with someone only a week ago, that’s why you didn’t put up a fight.” 

“Shut up Sam.” Sam, that should have made him worry. He was only called Sam when Dean was pissed and on the edge of an almost toddler-like melt down. 

“I’m just saying, if you really wanted to, and I mean really really wanted to, she would forgive you. But you don’t want to make the effort.” The tires screamed as Dean pulled off the road with a flick of his wrists. Sam was jerked sideways with the force but then was sent the other direction as Dean fisted the front of his flannel and shoved him back against the car door.

His eyes were wild with fury and his next words came out in a snarl. “I can’t get her back. Don’t you understand that. I just can’t.”

“Why not?” He pushed, desperate to get his brother to finally come to his senses. “You know she loves you and that she would do anything for you. What made this fight so terrible?”

“Because I can’t touch her!” The silence quickly returned as Sam tried to comprehend what he was just told. “I can’t touch her Sammy.” Dean was on the edge of tears. He released his shirt from his grasp like the fabric had burnt him and buried his head in his hands.

Sam had never witnessed Dean like this before, like his world was crumbling down before him and he wasn’t doing anything to stop it because he had just given up. No matter the circumstances or insurmountable odds that had faced him, he always pushed through with his can-do attitude and unwavering loyalty to those he loved. But now he was being consumed by a hopelessness so many monsters had attempted to instill in him but never could.

He was heartbroken and suffering. He lost the woman who knew his soul and yet still loved him. Sam knew what that despair felt like, to have such a great love ripped away and not giving yourself time to lament on that loss. 

“Dean.” He started but was quickly interrupted.

“I couldn’t give her what she deserved. I couldn’t be that loving boyfriend she wanted so badly. I couldn’t even fucking hug her without feeling like I wanted to push her away. And I knew it was hurting her but she was right, I am selfish. I wanted her to myself even if I could see her slowly dying inside.”

The sun was quickly setting over the brothers, the reds and purples giving way to a deep blue. They watched, for a moment, as the stars began to appear and the darkness surrounded them. “I’ve hurt so many people in my life. My hands have been stained red with blood for so long and she was the one person I couldn’t stand to hurt. Yet I hurt her so badly that she ran away from me.”

“But you do want her back don’t you?”

Tearful green eyes looked back at him. “More than anything.”

“Then we need to make a pitstop, I have an idea.”

——————

Y/N couldn’t help but notice Jody’s worried glances towards the front door as they ate dinner. “Alright Mills, that’s the eighth time you’ve looked at the door in five minutes. What’s going on? Do you have a secret lover coming over?” Claire snorted in her drink but quickly recovered as her surrogate mom shot her a glare.

“No, I do not have a secret lover. Thank you very much. I’m just waiting for a package.” Y/N raised an eyebrow at the older woman, still incredibly doubtful.

“It’s almost 10 at night, why would a package be delivered this late?” 

“Well, I-“ The doorbell rang, saving her from having to give another lame excuse. “Excuse me a moment, there’s my package.” Y/N narrowed her eyes at the Sheriff, not saying anything else.

Alex sighed, shaking her head, like she was in on some conspiracy that Jody had set up. “Have you got anything to add?” Y/N teased.

“Nope, nothing at all. Isn’t that right Claire?” Said girl, who was sitting to Y/N’s left, just huffed and took another large bite of her food.

Y/N ignored the muffled voices coming from the entryway, assuming that Jody, being her usual friendly self, was making conversation with whoever was at the door. Then, “hey girls, I need your help for a minute.” And without so much as a groan of annoyance, both teens stood and rushed from the room.

Before Y/N could follow after them, she heard the front door slam shut and the obvious sound of a car engine starting up and then driving away. “What the hell?” Just as she stood from the table to investigate, a large figure blocked the doorway.

“Dean?” 

“Hi sweetheart.” She melted at the sound of his voice clearly after so long and not through the crackly and broken version she heard through the dozens of voicemails he left her the night before. She itched to run into his strong arms but remained in place, her hand absentmindedly falling to the table, laying her palm flat against the butter knife she had been using. “I hope you’re not planning on using that on me.”

Dean gestured to her hand in a joking manner but only succeeded in making her scowl at him. “You look like shit.” He winced at her tone.

“I deserved that.”

“You deserve a lot worse. What the hell do you want Winchester?” Dean sighed. His body tilted forward, like he wanted to get closer. Running a hand through his hair, which was slightly longer than he normally kept it, his eyes dropped to the ground.

Y/N watched as he deflated, the usually stoic image of the hunter before her crumbling to dust and leaving a man that looked truly broken. “I didn’t mean to call you clingy.” Straight to business, good. She thought.

“But you did. And you did it knowing full well how I feel about that word.” Unconsciously, her voice softened as he nodded along to what she was saying.

“I know and I’m sorry about that. I’m- fuck- I’m sorry about everything.” Y/N didn’t object when he took a tentative step forward and she cursed her body for not recoiling as he drew closer. Yet she couldn’t bring herself to move away. “I wish I could be the man you want, the one you deserve, but I’m not and I don’t think I will ever be.”

“Not really selling your case here Dean.” 

“Just- just let me get to my point and then you can cuss me out. I love you and I want to change for you. I want to get better at touching you and I’ll do whatever it takes to bring you home. Besides Sammy’s been pouting a lot without you there and it’s getting really fucking annoying.” Of course the man couldn’t get through a serious discussion without being a dumbass.

Dean stood inches from her now, and Y/N could see how his hands trembled, either from anxiety or the copious amounts of alcohol she smelt from him, she didn’t know. “I don’t want you to change, Dean. I love you for who you are but you really hurt me and-“

“I know.” He cut her off. “I know and I want to make it right, if you’ll let me.” His green eyes shone with tears

“Goddamn you and your stupid puppy dog eyes.” She grumbled. Dean smirked. “Alright! Jesus, we can try again but I expect so much fucking grovelling, like ten times more than I had to do when I accidentally ate the last slice of pecan pie.”

He smiled and nodded, placing his hand on the dining room table mere millimeters from her own. “Anything you want sweetheart.” 

“And no sex for the foreseeable future, not even over the clothes stuff.” He winced at that but still, his smile did not waver.

“And, and, fuck I can’t think of anything else with you looking at me like that.” She whined and turned her head so she didn’t have to look into his eyes anymore. Y/N gasped as a finger hooked under her chin, guiding her gaze back to the man she still loved so much. His smile was even softer now, almost dopey with love.

“I’ll do whatever it takes, even if that means never getting to see you in anything less than fully clothed for the rest of my life and giving you all of my pie. I just need you, sweetheart.” His forehead dropped to her own, the tips of their noses brushing together in an act so intimate it made her chest burn with affection.

“Did you sleep with anyone else?” The question hung heavily in the air, pressing down on both of their chests like a massive weight. Dean breathed out harshly through his nose and Y/N froze, already fearing his answer, she began to pull away. But without any hesitation, his right arm wound around her thick waist and tugged her into his chest. Caught off guard, Y/N planted her hands on his chest.

She felt the way his body tensed beneath her palms, still so unused to being touched but he didn’t let her go like he would have before. “The short answer: no.”

“And the long answer?” Her throat felt like it was closing up with the onslaught of tear building behind her eyes.

“A girl brought me back to her place and tried to go down on me but I didn’t even kiss her. I left before she got my belt off.” Unable to stop herself, Y/N chuckled.

“You just left?”

Dean’s cheeks coloured with a rare flush. “Yeah, I walked out the door and she was still on her knees calling me a dick.”

“Well she was right about that.” And they stayed like that for a moment, letting themselves be reminded about how much they loved each other. Pressing a quick kiss to her forehead, Dean stepped away.

“Wait here, I have something for you.” With a few long strides, he left the room and then quickly reappeared holding a canvas bag with the phrase ‘act like a lady, think like a boss’ printed on the side in big, bold lettering. “Don’t diss the bag sweetheart.”

And before she could snark something back, he pulled a teddy bear from the bag. The bear seemed to be a regular plush at first glance, but when Dean handed it to her, Y/N couldn’t help but smile brightly. The toy easily weighed 5 pounds and suspiciously smelt of Dean’s cologne. “I thought that this could be a substitute for when you want to cuddle. But this is temporary, cause I will get better. He’s just a placeholder.”

“He?” 

“Yeah.” He sighed happily. “Little Dean Jr.” Holding the bear tighter to her chest, Y/N stood on her tiptoes and finally planted her lips on his. Her skin burned as the soft kiss quickly turned more passionate and his newly grown beard scraped against her. Fingers curled into his hair, Y/N yanked him even closer as Dean’s hands fell to her generous ass, giving her cheeks a light squeeze.

Reluctantly, she pulled away first, her lungs screaming for oxygen and her brain telling her that if she kissed him any more, she would end up in the back seat of Baby with her legs over his shoulders. “This is a start. But I will not have you talk to me like that again. If you do, I’m gone and you won’t ever see me again.”

“I promise, I’ll do better.” Content with his answer, Y/N pecked his swollen lips. 

“The bear was Sam’s idea wasn’t it?”

“But I named him!” 

Supernatural Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Join my taglist!

All works

@im-a-slut-for-fluff

@alexxavicry

@ravenwings73

@avada-kedavra-bitch-187

@Silverfire475

@psychadelichues

@mvyalx

@km-ffluv

Dean Winchester

@pretty-npeach

@jason-todds-bitch

@andreasworlsboring

@Honkytonkbabe

@nini-trash-forever

@mandyzsick101

@getoutofthere