#dear god i am NOT tagging everyone that would take eight million years

[sammyblep]

once upon a time i talked here about how to do an arc-involved stardew au for taz balance but now my brain’s been infested by the thought of one for taz amnesty so here’s the thoughts so far:

obviously, the spa up in the mountains is the stardew equivalent of the hot springs in amesty - it literally even recharges your health/energy! it’s too perfect

you’d think mayor lewis would be mama but it’s actually Leah. Artist, secluded cabin in the woods, sculptor? Mama is Leah all the way, though she does take a much more active role in the community

Namely, instead of having all the Sylphs live in her cabin, she finds places for them to live among the citizens of Pelican Town. Some of them are Sylphs who have been there longer than her, and some of them are totally-in-the-dark humans, but the town manages

Lewis is one of the humans, I’m thinking the dude who has the swimmer kid? The Sheriff, whatever his name is

Mr. Qi is absolutely Heathcliff

The Player is Aubrey, Ned is Gunther, and Duck is... Duck’s tricky. IDK who he is /yet/, but Thacker is definitely Linus

Rasmodius is 1000% the Sylph who teaches Aubrey about magic and Sylvain, and instead of Vincent or Jas being the kid who can talk in Aubrey’s mind, that’s secretly the witch’s kid (not an actual npc in stardew but shhhh)

Instead of bundles for the community center, there’s quests to kill abominations - the things left behind by the abominations will restore the community center, which is secretly the gate to Sylvain and/or the stone that contained Sylvain. Aubrey is eternally drawn to the Center because of her necklace.

Abigail is Dani and she’s the “niece” of Leo Tarkesian, who’s the replacement for Pierre

Jojamart is actually the aliens; when you finally kick out jojamart and lightning breaks down the door is the stardew equivalent of blowing up the gate and sidestepping into the ship. The whole store was a front for the alien control center, and when it’s abandoned you can finally see it for what it is and defeat the final enemies (which take place of the missing bundle) and stop the trend of setting planets against each other.

The reason Jojamart wanted the community center so badly wasn’t actually because they wanted a warehouse - it was because they wanted to reclaim control of the gate there, after a fierce legal and literal battle left it a no-man’s-zone

ACTUALLY. Duck is also a player; he lives on the farm and Aubrey gets to live with him when she accidentally sets the bus on fire on the way to Zuzu City. They tend the farm together and train and he teaches her about plants and model ships and French onion soup in between fighting bom-boms

Keith (TAZA Keith, not Stardew Keith) and Hollis replace Alex and Haley - not sure who’s where yet but they’re the total rebel jocks of the town

Sam is Jake Coolice!!!!!! SAM IS JAKE COOLICE!!!!

Keith (Stardew Keith, not TAZA Keith) is a) not married to Jodi and b) actually Joseph Stern, who returns from a secret FBI mission to where he lives with his human sister, his sister’s son, and his “nephew” (Jake) who he doesn’t want to believe isn’t human

Sebastian is now Kirby and Krobus is the dude who’s stuck as a goatman/Ryan Reynolds doppelganger (which is a SENTENCE lmfao taza went some wild places)

anyways. as you can see this au suddenly barged into my head and now lives here rent free. please take it if you want to do something with it or add on or whatever

[samissosexyyy]

Tumblr thought it would be hilarious to delete all my work and not let me answer requests :').

YES I SHALL WRITE THE PLATONIC ANGRY PARENTS-

And thank you-I woke up and was talking to my friend in the morning and my brain just: jojo villain yandere dads. Mudad mudad mudad mudad anger.

Anyways, here they are- Do these even count as headcanons???? I dunno-

Dio, Part 1

Vampire form of course.

First thing first, We all know he'd be a great dad. Protective already, But make him a yandere platonic father? Oh boy, Trust me, You'd be spoiled and treated like royalty.

Now, I'm gonna say in this scenario you were on of his victims child. I'll say you'll be around 5 to eight.

Somehow you managed to catch his eye, Is it because your parent was just as bad as his? You reminded him of his mother? Or maybe you resemble him, and have three moles on your ear. Or, perhaps, A younger joestar? Either way, You somehow had him feeling like a father, and, according to one of my friends, Araki had said DIO would treat his children like they were royalty, And they would be so spoiled.

So, Mudad would end up taking you in, kidnapping, whichever honestly. He'd be holding you like a loving pet owner would, if you got scared, he'd probably be confused. Honestly he'd have you turned into a vampire quickly, as he knew he wouldn't be able to have children as a Vampire.

Truthfully, I think you'd end up never noticing how he'd occasionally pull you closer, or how he'd glare at anyone your age or older going near you. Or how he'd give you some strict rules, Like no dating anyone. E v e r. And why would you ever want to hurt your papa like that?! You wouldn't want to do that, right?! Of course you wouldn't! Dio knew you'd never betray him like that!!

Truth be told, he'd guilt you if you tried to go against his words. But punishments? No no, He'd never actually purposefully hurt you, Unlike his love interest, he'd NEVER want to cause you pain ever. He'd hate himself and wouldn't forgive himself for years. Centuries. Infact, he'd beg for your forgiveness.

The Pillarmen

And satannnaaaaa

First of all, You aren't a pillarchild. You'd most likely be some kind of god, vampire, or a young hamon learner. Or even related to the Joestars or Ceasar.

So, Let's say you're immortal who can walk in the sun. We all know you'd be the joestar side, Right? So, That means you'd end up hating or feeling pity for the pillarmen. First, You'd probably end up trying to make Santana hally when he awakens. Unlike with Joseph, He'd probably know not to attempt to attack you. Let's say you have symbols like Dio Over heaven, We all know how that would work.

You'd end up as a being worshipped by them, probably kidnapped after they destroy the Joestars.

Let's say they defeated Joseph and the others, and you were still a deity, You'd most likely be weaker then them in this scenario. They'd probably treat you like a kitten at first, like a baby before they all felt a connection. As if you were a child of their own, so they'd give you rules. And we all know how rules go with yanderes.

Let's say uh- you fell for a mortal.

"No. No."

[Crush name has fallen from a high place.]

"DADS WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUU-"

"NO CUSSING IN THIS CHRISTIAN MINECRAFT SERVER!"

or something like that :')

Honestly, You'd have bird dad, and a bunch of other dads. Santana would honestly be like the cool big brother honestly. You'd probably want horns too so-

They would totally buy you halloween horns to put on your head so you'd be happy baby

Now, Hamon user? They'd probably find you like a cute animal at first, probably going easy on you like it was a game of tag. Soon, they'd realize how weak and fragile you are, After all, You are just starting hamon. They'd probably kidnap you to spite Joseph and his side at first, before... Well, You didn't expect to become a vampire and treated like royalty when all you've been treated like is uh... Considering Lisalisa is your coach, I'd say you'd be happy if it was someone else doing this for you.

Josephs sibling? WOAH Joseph, When did you get a cute sibling? Pfft, Not your sibling anymore, They just adopted your ex sibling nerd.

But, All jokes aside, They'd probably be surprised that you were more mature then your brother, and...you sorta resemble a certain Coach... Oh, Humans all look the same, haha.

They'd probably kidnap you infront of Joseph just to make him feel guilt and rage, After all, Why not get their prized treasure and make Joseph angry? They'd give you more rules, until Joseph was gone, of course.

And, sadly, Not even you crying would stop them from making you into a vampire infront of your big brother, breaking both of your hearts.

Don't worry you got ice cream later smh.

Ceasars sibling? Mini pancake? Haha, They'd kidnap you as soon as they felt parent like tendencies. No denying them, infact, they'd make sure you saw ceasar get defeated by the ro ck. But don't worry! You have new parents and a brother-! Haha, Poor you.

Part 3 DIO AKA mudad!

Honest to god you'd probably have to be a stand user with a weak or strong stand, or, you were one of his kids he had with a lucky woman who survived and got a naked polaroid of him as a 'wow you lived! Congrats, now go have my kid lmao' gift. Or, Maybe you were a normal kid who was kind to him, even if he,,,,  did some questionable murder infront of you. And maybe you were a young

Now, Let's say you were a strong stand user. He'd end up wanting to use a flesh bud until he realized... He never had a kid, that he knows of, and decided to raise you! At first he'd be upset you had a strong stand like your mudad, but realized you could protect yourself from those dreadful joestars! Congrats, You became a Brando! :) How unlucky, Considering this DIO would probably force vampire masks onto you, or even using fleshbuds as a threat. Either way, You'll always be papas baby!

Yoshikage kira.

Like I said in my first post of this, He'd want to have a nice average life. You having a stand wouldn't be a problem, Since he'd probably convince you Josuke and the others are awful and rude.

Josukes sibling? Well, He'd end up telling you he can help your brother with his murder issue if you come with him. You don't exactly have a choice since Killer queen would easily overpower you if you had disagreed. You'd end up being a normal and peaceful child before long, Infact, He'd have to pretend he had adopted you behind his 'wifes' back.

Hayotos friend he never talks about? Congrats, You are now stuck with a crazy and loving father! And a mother, I suppose. And you get your best friend as a brother! You'd never be able to leave, how sad. But, You'd have your new mom and your dad to talk to-! And killer queen cuddle time.

Now, Let's say you were his own kid. Wowzers! You think its normal for your father to bring women hands home, after all, You are pretty young and your father told you most adults do this. Ah. How enjoyable.

Doppio/Diavolo

Oh dear. You poor child.

Either you were related to trish, and he somehow felt like you wouldn't be a problem before they felt more of a father love towards you, Most likely somehow getting rif of the traitors and your big sister.

"Where's big sister?"

"Don't worry about her, She's spending time with your mother."

Smh quit LIEING you jERK!

But seriously, Doppio would be like the fun mom asking you if you'd like bake cupcakes in his spare time! Read you bed time stories and whatnot! Diavolo would be awkward and "wanna play baseball or whatever kids like to do these days?" Awkward dad alert.

"My kid is fine!"

The kid they kidnapped/raised:

Casually trying to beat another kid with a baseball.❤💚💛

Honestly they'd insult everyone elses kids while here their kid is, casually scared of baseball.

Pucci

Papa priest! We all know he'd adopt you! I head canon him as gay, considering DIO and him were totally a thing.

So, He'd probably have you study Lord DIO bibles, and casually have you hate Jolyne. Probably even give you a stand, And even show you that DIO is the best! Worship! Protect yourself and all that!

Jotaro would probably scare you,  so I can see you holding onto Pucci while Jotaro appears anytime, so pucci would infact love it when you snuggle onto him lime a cute kitten. Hell, you even Sneeze like a kitten!

Honestly You'd be kept under watch 24/7, but you'd think it was normal, after all, Your father would mever do something so awful like Those Joestars claim...right?

Diego

Oh wow- dino dad :)

Let's say you were a big fan of his, Then, Well,You wouldn't mind having him as a dad, Now would you? He is your idol, Right? Yeah. Yeah!

He'd probably carry you around upside down, Hot pants just questioning his sanity as he drops you a million times. Hot pants would probably end up carrying you most of the time.

Mama hot pants and father Diego. Y es.

And, Let's say you were traveling with Johnny. Congrats. You've put yourself in a even worse situation considering Diego would become worried and paranoid over those two idiots hurting you! And he hates the idea of his baby boy/girl/child being hurt by barbarians!!!

Even though he'd probably hurt you on accident if I'm gonna be honest.

Kidnapping isn't a very easy job, so of course he had to knock you out! What was he supposed to do?! Ask you to come stay with him forever?! No! Maybe! HuawhuKaia-

Honestly not too many rules, just don't leave his side ever! Except when going to the bathroom. You'll be tied to his horse. No whining >:(.

Funny Valentine

Honestly what did you think he was going to do? Pick some random child? No no, He'd choose the PERFECT child! You were so lucky! Wow! The daughter of the mos powerful man ever! Lucky you, Right?

No. You don't get alone time unless it's you sleeping or bathing. You wear what he wants, and no.

Dating not allowed. Bad. No no no no no.

"No. No dating. Your lips will fall off."

"but mommys lips didn't-"

"Your face will melt off."

Basically you'd be bossed around and treated like royalty, as long as you listen to you dad!

Honestly I don't know if this is headcanons, if if it isn't feel free to scream at me in the comments-

AND I AM SO SORRY ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO ACTUALLY ANSWER, SO I HOPE YOU SEE THIS AND ARE ABLE TO ENJOY IT??? I GUESS???

[sonofadeanwinchester]

Someday Darling (Part Twenty-Nine)

One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven | Eight | Nine | Ten | Eleven | Twelve | Thirteen | Fourteen | Fifteen | Sixteen | Seventeen | Eighteen | Nineteen | Twenty | Twenty-One | Twenty-Two | Twenty-Three | Twenty-Four | Twenty-Five |  Twenty-Six | Twenty-Seven | Twenty-Eight

Summary: Leaving LA to go to New York to spend time with your brother might just be the worst/best decision of your life.

Words: 1357

Student!Sebastian x Reader; Actor!Chris Evans x Reader

Warnings: SWEARING; FLUFF; hospital stuff???

A/N:  If you wanna be tagged, don’t be shy and let me know! ;) I AM SO SORRY IT’S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I UPDATED THIS STORY

Tags: @221bshrlocked@marvelouslyme96@shellymaesworld@titty-teetee@pawallday@chameerah@buckylicious@nerdywitch@teresaolivia20 @guera31 @i-should-probably-be-asleep-rn@lancetucker@ssweet-empowerment@ijustreallylovezebras@amandarosemire@zainab2 @jhangelface0523@care-bear-girl@parkerrpeterr@bxxbxy@winter–cearig@beccavesper@mrs-meghan-winchester@amren-tiny-ancient-one

I woke up to the sound of the seatbelt light coming back on. Penn was sitting in the same position staring straight ahead. Sebastian had his music going, one earbud in. He noticed my movement and smiled. "Hey, we’re about to land."

Twenty minutes later we were exiting the plane and grabbing our luggage. We never told my mom that we were flying over so no one was there to pick us up. I called a taxi service number from memory and we waited outside the airport. The taxi pulled up and he helped Sebastian put the luggage in the trunk. He got back into the driver seat. "Where to?"

"John? Hey, it's me (y/n)!"

He turned around, "Holy shit! No way! Where are you coming from?"

I smiled at him, "New York. You remember my brother, Penn, right? He's been living there for a few years now."

He scrunched his nose, "Yeah, I totally remember Penn." He nodded towards Seb. "This is?"

"This is Sebastian, my boyfriend."

He reached a hand backward, "Nice to meet you. Y'all going to your mom's?"

I nodded, "Yeah. Listen, have you heard anything about my dad?"

He looked in the mirror, his eyes soft. "(y/n), I'm really sorry to hear about your dad. (y/m/n) must be a basket case."

Penn nodded, "Yeah, she's doing as good as one can expect. Can you drop me off at the hospital first?"

He nodded, "Sure thing bud."

We drove the rest of the way in mostly silence, John asking questions here and there. "So, what are you doing in New York? Last I heard you were in California dating some big movie star."

I nodded and smiled, trying to hide my annoyance with everyone bringing up Chris. "I was in California, I had some issues with my boyfriend so I went to New York with Penn for a bit. That's where I met Seb, he's Penn's roommate."

John nodded, slowing down at a red light. "Who was the big actor?"

I sighed, "Uh, you ever watch Fantastic Four or Push?"

He nodded quickly, "Fucking love both of those movies."

I smiled again, "Yeah. Uh, human torch and that Nick guy in Push? Played by Chris Evans, my ex."

"Holy shit! You dated fucking Chris Evans?" He started ahead again, putting the blinker on to turn into the hospital. When Penn started to get money out, John held out his hand, palm facing him. "Listen, Penn don't even think of paying me. I hope your father gets better." Penn smiled and nodded, shutting the door, jogging to the front doors.

John pulled away, driving us to my parent's house. The house was only a 10-minute drive from the hospital, we pulled into the driveway and I got out after Seb. John got out of the car and gave me a quick hug. "Really nice to see you again, (y/n). Hope your dad gets better."

I thanked him with a smile as Seb grabbed the suitcases from the car. "Thanks, man."

John backed out of the driveway and honked as he drove away. I saw the curtain move near the door and it swung open. My poor, fragile puffy faced mother ran out of the door and basically tackled me. "(y/n)! What are you doing here?"

I shook my head, a million and five thoughts going through my mind. "Mom! Dad was in a car accident, of course, I'm going to come home!"

She kissed my cheek and turned to Sebastian. "You must be Sebastian, lovely to meet you."

He smiled at her, "lovely to meet you as well. Wish we could've met under different circumstances. I'm so sorry to hear about your husband."

She smiled sadly, tears filling her gray eyes. "Thank you." She scanned his face and then drifted her eyes back towards me. "Darling, it's been too long. Please come inside! I'll put some tea and coffee on."

I began to follow her but Sebastian caught my arm, "Why isn't she at the hospital with your dad?"

I shrugged, "She deals with pain and hurt differently from others. She thinks that if she isn't at the hospital that it never really happened, makes it easier."

His face filled with pain, "Poor thing."

I sat around the table with my mother, drinking coffee and eating freshly made chocolate cake. Sebastian was upstairs taking a shower. She swallowed and licked her lips. "Sebastian seems like a very nice young man. How old is he?"

I sighed, "Uh, 34."

She bit her lip, "12 years older?"

"Yeah, I know." I rolled my eyes.

"I didn't say anything bad, dear. He is very polite and handsome as a devil."

I nodded, "That he is."

"May I ask why he is here and not Christopher?" She knew what happened between Chris and me, she just wanted to pry.

"Mom, you obviously know that Chris and I had a fight. And we are no longer together. Things just weren't working. Sebastian has been my rock since day one in New York."

She nodded, "So you're just friends then?"

I shook my head, "Mom, Sebastian is my boyfriend."

She nodded slowly, soaking all the information in. "Okay, sweetheart. It's your love life, I just want you to be happy."

I smiled softly, "He makes me very happy, mom."

She took another sip of her coffee. A few moments later, Seb entered the room, hair still half wet but finally clean and he smelt like heaven. "Hey, sweetie."

He sat beside me, taking a mouthful of my coffee. "Your house is beautiful. It looks a lot like my childhood home."

"Where are you from? New York?"

He shook his head, "Uh, Romania actually. We moved to New York when I was 12."

My mother's eyebrows shot up, "Really? That's pretty interesting. Do you still speak the language?"

He nodded, "Uh, yeah. I can speak Romanian fluently with my mom and step-dad and we lived in Austria for a bit too so I know a bit of German."

The house phone began to ring, she stood and ran to it. "Hello?" She sounded frantic.

Sebastian looked at me and smirked. He took another mouthful of my coffee. I stood and kissed his hair in passing as I poured him a cup, adding the milk and sugar to his liking. I handed it to him and he pulled me onto his knee. "You're mother seems to like me."

"She's accepting, might take her awhile to warm up to the idea that I'm in another relationship besides Chris. She really liked him." I laughed and drank my coffee.

She came back to us and tears in her eyes. "That was the hospital."

"And?" Sebastian and I said in unison.

She smiled, "They said that his brain activity is back to normal and that he should wake up soon."

I shot to my feet, "Mom! That's wonderful." I looked at Sebastian who was nodding. "Mom, speaking of wonderful."

She wiped away a few stray tears of joy. "Yes?"

I placed a hand on my stomach, "We're pregnant."

Her eyes widened. "You're having a baby?" I nodded and her eyes filled with tears. "Oh, darling! That's wonderful news. Sebastian, you must be the father, how exciting! How far along?"

I was relieved that she didn't have a break down about this or mumbled about how I was too young or that we should've waited until marriage. I could hear my father now, 'I thought I taught you better, that you should keep yourself pure until you're married. I smiled at the thought. "Doctor says I'm about a month."

She hugged me tightly. "This is so exciting, when is your first ultrasound?"

Sebastian stood beside me, towering over me. "July 21."

"Oh my god! This is wonderful news, I am so very happy for the both of you, congratulations. Your father is going to be so happy."

I nodded, "I know mom."

She reached for her purse, "I'm going head to the hospital. Would you like to join?"

I nodded and swallowed the last mouthful of coffee, "Right behind you."