#death-star510

[autisticandroids]

Fic about Destiel dysfunction told through the framing device of Jack's future therapy sessions.

OH BOY. OH I DON'T WANNA WRITE THIS BECAUSE IT SOUNDS HARD BUT I WANNA READ IT SOOOOOOOO BAD.

wait. scratch that. i actually do have a fic that i've tossed around writing (but probably won't actually write) that's like. a sequel to "i fold in half so easily." like i won't write it because i like where that fic leaves off and i don't want to fix it in some cheap way. like i LIKE where that fic leaves off, and fixing it for any of them would cheapen it. let them all rot in self-imposed hells forever.

HOWEVER. hypothetically. if i were to do the long, grueling work of fixing at least some of the characters in that fic. well. i've thought about it.

- first off. jack has to come back. like you can't actually fix anything about i fold in half so easily if jack doesn't come back. because nothing short of jack's return would convince cas to change anything, and nothing short of making amends to jack would convince cas to like. value himself. anyway. jack comes back. he just sort of materializes near the site of kelly's cabin. he doesn't remember the last couple years because he has a sam-in-season-six style trauma wall in his head.

- anyway. jack materializes, and he just. calls cas. on a payphone. and cas is like. okay jack. stay right there. don't leave. don't call sam or dean. i'm coming to get you. and cas just. doesn't say a word to sam or dean. makes sure they don't see him leave. hops in his truck. and drives 25 hours straight to the west coast.

- he finds jack just sitting under a tree, waiting, exactly where he said he'd be. and so they hug. and cas cries. and he gets jack in the truck. they drive, and they don't talk. or cas doesn't. jack asks a fine questions, to which cas give noncommittal, monosyllabic answers. until finally jack just says i'm hungry, and cas pulls off the highway, and they go to a diner. (the exact kind of diner the winchesters would pick.)

- when the food comes, cas eats too. he doesn't usually do that, and jack is like, are you human, now? and cas is like no. what? and jack is like. you're eating. and cas is like oh. yes. i am. i don't have to do that. so he puts down his fork, and he smiles a little at jack. jack feels like this means something significant, but he doesn't know what. he's just happy to finish cas' home fries.

- eventually, jack asks about dean, and cas actually answers. he says "dean isn't our friend anymore, jack." he doesn't elaborate.

- the thing about cas is that he knows that dean has done something bad. he even partly knows what that thing is. and he knows he needs to keep dean away from jack. but he can't really name that, out loud. this is partly because he can't bring himself to speak ill of dean, even now, especially not in front of jack. it's partly because he himself cannot fully grasp the nature of the harm done: he knows that dean is a threat to jack's physical safety, that's something he can wrap his head around. but dean has also harmed cas terribly, in the emotional sense, and he has no idea how to conceptualize that, much less put it into words. furthermore, he is afraid dean might have done something similar to jack, and that terrifies him so much that he can't look at it. and lastly, cas can't bring himself to unpack his own complicity in how dean has hurt jack, especially not in front of jack. so he is rendered speechless. he can't talk about why they're not friends with dean anymore, only that they aren't. cas is extremely capable of thinking about things and is NOT trying very hard not to reconsider anything that's happened in the past five years or so

- anyway. for a few months cas and jack live in a series of cars, driving up and down the coast. cas keeps ditching them and stealing new ones. he also ditches his cellphone. this is all to keep the winchesters from tracking them, because cas is like. intensely paranoid about that. but he doesn't explain this to jack.

- anyway. after like, a few months of this. jack is like. my dad is acting really weird. he's clearly freaked out about something but he won't TALK to me. i think there are?? problems?? apparently you're supposed to work on problems in therapy. so he calls dr. vallens and makes an appointment.

- dr. vallens is like. i am a GRIEF counselor. however. since you saved my life that one time and obviously desperately need my help. and also i see my past self in you. maybe we can do weekly sessions.

- so. cas and jack settle down in wisconsin. and get therapy with dr. vallens. and horrify her with various things about their lives and relationships.

examples:

cas and jack originally getting like family therapy together but cas simply Will Not talk in front of jack so she ends up having to separate them

dr. vallens voice if you want to lessen the negative impact on jack you're going to have to say something negative to him about dean at some point. cas voice but i don't want to ruin his attachment to his father dr. vallens voice you're the one who went no contact with the winchesters. cas voice but. but.

cas confessing to his many crimes and her having to leave the room and hyperventilate

cas explaining that he doesn't really know how money works, and had to throw away his cellphone because it might have a tracking app, but doesn't know how to buy a new one, and doesn't know how to rent an apartment, and mia being like. Hm. well. hm.

dr. vallens: castiel, you're not a child- wait, actually, are you a child in angel terms? cas: angels don't have an equivalent of childhood. we were created at the beginning of time fully as we are and carefully kept at we were created, having our minds pruned of undesirable thoughts to prevent any sort of serious change dr. vallens: .......okay- cas: dean has compared me to a child many times when he was angry. perhaps i am equivalent to a child in human terms? dr. vallens: i don't think that's why he did that

cas telling mia about claire, and incidentally explaining that he's actually piloting a corpse, and mia having to go throw up

cas explaining that angels are in fact real but that they've basically wiped themselves out in civil wars over the last decade or so

eventually they ARE going to have to like. re-encounter the winchesters. because jack wants to see them, and cas can only refuse him for so long. absolutely no idea how that's going to go though.

[fluorescentbrains]

Crimson and gamer, a good kind of gamer, being saved is overrated

so true bestie (honorific)

[thegreenthingslivebeforetheydie]

death-star510 replied to your post: soft-galaxies: @thegreenthingslivebeforetheydie​...

what lingerie does shitty cousin Gaila wear and how cursed is it to combine this with grunt aka gaila/brunt, the most cursed of pairings

Gaila wears the most expensive shit he can find, obviously

[thesylverlining]

…You’re welcome. The sexily lounging Langly… one person asked for and I agreed~ most necessary

And with that, I say good night.

[soundwavereporting]

Soundwave, Starscream, Garrus, Thane, Mulder, Scully

give a CapriSun and lay down for a nap

Soundwave! Though tbh all of them need naps. 

enlist to help build a pillow fort 

Garrus! Though I think it’d probably have explosives in it. 

slingshot into the deep recesses of space

Thane. I think that’s the only place he’d be able to get some peace and quiet. 

sing bad karaoke and play DDR at 3am with

I’ll say Scully? 

smack with a rolled up newspaper

Sorry Starscream.....

let borrow the aux chord on a road trip

Mulder, just because I think whatever he listens to is probably weird enough to be interesting on a long drive.

[brinnanza]

1 & 3 for the end of year writers meme!

1. What’s your personal favourite thing you wrote this year?

proooooobably pillow talk cause it’s just like 5000% fluff

3. Which of your fics was most different from what you usually write?

gosh probably so to speak? just because it’s about a couple but not from their perspective -- outsider pov isn’t something I do but I love peg (or the version I’ve invented wholecloth anyway) very much and I wanted to write hee

[jazzypizzaz]

I feel you should know that your latest quodo fic is literally serving as my reward for getting through this hell week at work. ANYTIME I FEEL LIKE CALLING IN TIRED I REMIND MYSELF OF GETTING TO READ IT ON FRIDAY.

INCREDIBLE

[autisticandroids]

Yellow and red, a deconstructed orange you might even say

HMMMMmmm. hm. hmmmmMMMMMMMMMmmmmm.

[fluorescentbrains]

death-star510 replied to your post: I have a hard time rationalizing sadism—like...

In my (admittedly limited) exposure to the kink community it usually leans harder on the domination/submission and exchange of power side so that the dom enjoys inflicting pain in the sense that it’s part of their partners submission vs just loving to cause pain to others. It can be hard to tell from the outside though what’s going on in any particular persons head though so I understand being squicked out.

that kinda makes sense... i think the people i'm thinking of are like, guys pressuring girlfriends who aren't into this kind of stuff to let them act out violent fantasies, rather than people who have mutually decided this is something they like to do FOR each other because they know the other is into it

[obstinatecondolement]

@thegreenthingslivebeforetheydie @stenka-razin @death-star510 @starstarship Thanks, all x

[thegreenthingslivebeforetheydie]

death-star510 replied to your post: @death-star510 honestly there was never going to...

I MEAN THE LONE GUNMEN IS A RECENT DEVELOPMENT FOR ME Sylver got me to watch them at… fuck the end of January I think? And then I instantly fell in love and died.

it’s still weird. so, what, it’s Ferengi Trash, Toad From X Men, something else i’ve forgotten probably? and The Lone Gunmen

i’ve always loved them, i’ve been watching x files for... my whole life tbqh, and i just fell harder in love with every rewatch

[venndaai]

death-star510 replied to your post “also Cassandra’s hype over me and Sera’s marriage was freaking...”

I want to personally fight everyone in that game who has shit to say about my beautiful wife Sera which means I will have to fight MOST OF THE PARTY.

I know I hate that Blackwall is her closest bro since I otherwise dislike Blackwall but his redeeming feature is that he’s not an asshole to/about her

I’m personally ok with Dorian ragging on her cause I like their back and forth banter about each other’s modes of speech and I get the sense that Dorian really does consider her a close friend (and she says she likes Dorian and almost cries about him leaving), it’s kind of like his banter with Bull, it’s just how Dorian ineptly makes friends

[oomoxforfunandprofit]

in the next cap, Quark graduates from turning his entire body towards Hagath, to straight up climbing into his lap.  “do you like me?? do you like me?!? validate me!!!”

[eriexplosion]

Since I actually am using this blog regularly now I've decided that it is time to give it a serviceable name that's easy to remember.

Death-star510 ----> eriexplosion

[autisticandroids]

💓

ship that i didn't expect to like but now do:

uh. well, i'm much more unironically into crowstiel than i used to be. i used to be totally uninterested in samruby but not anymore. uhhhhhh. those are big ones i think.

[fluorescentbrains]

death-star510 replied to your post “order of the phoenix is probably my least favorite movie adaptation...”

Is it because it's an unfitting casting or is it because you're attracted to Umbridge and it feels wrong

oh... a little of column A, a little of column B,