#definitely not the first time ive seen this kind of symbolism but its always a good one and Especially here

[ajdrawshq]

how messed up it must be to go from enjoying plays to feeling like ur stuck inside one..

[the-lonelyshepherd]

Had my ninety millionth rewatch of Yellowjackets because I wanted to work on drawing the girls. Been thinking about Jackie's butterfly shirt and how Shauna later on wears it. Not to mention to Shauna wears other butterfly shirts. any thoughts on if the butterfly symbolism was intentional? -💀

HI YES. i had like. so many thoughts on this all at once. i reasearched a lot of butterfly shit for a personal project before and it all just clicked in yj context. a warning that this is going to be rambley its going to be messy and some of it might be a stretch. yippee!

SOO first off its def like. butterflies are a very common just design for shirts in the 90s so its def just like part of the period wardrobe. HOWEVER. jackie and shauna, as far as i know, are the only characters seen wearing butterfly shirts (and i could be wrong but even so theyre the only characters with repeated obvious butterfly shirts including in the adult timeline). which is very interesting.

so heres shaunas butterfly shirt (note the words)

jackie's butterfly shirt and.. shauna wearing it (note the scene)

adult shauna also wears a butterfly shirt im 99% sure it was like black with a white butterfly design. i need to find a pic rgh

SO LETS START

first off - what is butterfly symbolism?

butterfly symbolism is literally anything you want it to be. its such a common symbol if you look it up theres millions of websites on weird slightly not so slightly appropriating spirit bs and a shitton of vague statements. so lets narrow the question.

what is butterfly symbolism in the context of yellowjackets?

much better. my personal view on it is this - butterflies, in a multitude of cultures, are a symbol of hope. theyre pretty theyre flappy theyre whatever. but butterflies are also a symbol of change, of transformation. but what i think is so interesting about butterflies as change is when we look at how butterflies change.

butterfly transformation is inherently something of horror. its a gorey, bloody transformation where the caterpillar literally dissolves in a chamber of its own making and reforms into something completely different. but the thing i find so fascinating is that its not a whole new thing - its literally a restructuring of the caterpillar. its something that was always there.

and this exact thing is imo one of the central themes of yellowjackets - they were always these people. What the wilderness did is amplified it, twisted it, made it louder and more obvious and definitely more bloody. but the violence and the competitiveness and the drama? was always there. look at allie, look at shauna and jeff. what the wilderness did was give them a stage (a chrysalis, if you will) to transform.

What about the specific shirt designs?

Lets start with shauna. Its a basic design with 6 butterflies of various kinds, but the most notable thing for me is the text. "Lueur d'espoir

yeah i used google translate whatever its not like ive been taking french classes for years. or something. let me live.

so. as you can see its "glimmer of hope" which goes hand in hand with the common butterfly symbolism. but actions overpower words because with a lot of shauna's actions, (ie 2.07 massive girl on girl violence) shes pretty much the opposite of hope. shes giving into the brutal violence that the wilderness is bringing out in all of them and hell she even relishes it. its an almost comedic grasp at imitating jackie when really shes the opposite side of the butterfly symbolism coin - transformation. but specifically metamorphasis. this side of her was always there.

now its number time!!

shaunas shirt has 6 butterflies and jackies has 3. jackie is literally half of what makes up shauna - without jackie she loses a significant piece of herself. i might throw up.

after jackies death shauna does everything she can to get her back. not only does she talk to jackies corpse for months, she literally EATS her. but theres also more subtle attempts to get that part of herself back - like wearing her "missing half" - the butterfly shirt. its all in vain really because its with that grasping at anything she has left of jackie and order and everything she used to know, with that shirt, that she commits one of the most brutal acts of violence in the entire show. also shauna wears it while beating up lottie after wilderness baby dies and wb was basically the last living (rip) thing she has of jackie. ough.

back to shaunas original shirt, the one with six butterflies. 6 is a number commonly associated with nurturing energy, and sometimes maternal. sound familiar?

similarly, jackie(shauna)'s 3 butterfly shirt - 3 in general is a very powerful number symbolically. the birth-life-death cycle, the mind-body-soul connection, things coming in threes. jackieshauna and whatever they connect to be that wilderness baby, jeff, callie, the wilderness in general maybe lottie. who knows!! the toxic homoerotic bestfriendship spares no one.

ALSO the butterflies on jackies 3 shirt are monarchs which are commonly associated with the dead and more specifically remembrance of the dead. throws up.

so overall!

the butterfly shirts could very much be just be time period wardrobing but i do think there is at least some significance given jackie and shauna are the only characters (as far as i know) who repeatedly wear butterfly shirts.

butterflies in jackie's context are almost a satire of the hope theyre supposed to represent - jackie has lost all hope by clinging to a past she can never get back to. in most cases she would be a hopeful character - take akilahs clinging to wiskayok, doing SAT prep and talking about her family. but the difference with jackie is that she clings to it as if it were already dead. she has this passive suicidality because she knows that shes never going back to what was and she REFUSES to transform. a catterpillar who doesnt pupate and dies never changing.

butterflies in shauna's context i think point to the gorey, transformative yet revealing nature of the wilderness. similar to metamorphosis, through a complete restrucuring of what was already there in the optimal conditions for change, we see this violent, bloody, version of Shauna emerge in the wilderness. Similarly to the twisting of butterfly metaphors, shauna also represents a twisted kind of hope through her pregancy. Inherently a birth is supposed to be a symbol of new life, of hope and joy. And for a while the baby is a symbol of hope! you have the babyshower raising spirits etc. but everyone knows it was doomed from the start. in the wilderness a birth is not a thing of hope but a thing of horror - its seeing your teammates mouths covered with blood and its burying your son when you too are still a child.

soo yeah. butterflies. dont know how much of this is gonna make sense but it definately made me think about things

[destinysbounty]

HELLO i am in your inbox because your post about ninjago cycles made me drop my phone, ive literally been thinking about this idea forever!

around when i watched s8, i literally started reading the entire show as one big time loop because of all the repetition and cycles in the show. i dont know if that phrasing holds true, but i think the idea itself holds up

i think what really drives the entire cycle of the show is the need for balance. i interpret ninjago the place as created by fsm to be a reflection of his worldviews: dragon vs oni; good vs evil; light vs dark. the fact that the overlord keeps coming back, and his descendants will have to keep fighting him is a part of a larger system put in place (accidentally or purposefully) by fsm. when one person is defeated, a power vaccuum appears that HAS to be filled, usually by a new villain

basically, balance is the mechanism by which all these cycles come to pass. its kind of a law of physics in ninjago, good will always win, but evil can never really lose. everyone has to keep repeating history, personal and global because the world literally will bend itself in order to achieve that balance.

(i hope this makes sense i wrote it very quickly lmao) thank you sooooo much for bringing up cycle symbolism in the show,,,, once you start looking for it its everywhere!

(Here's the cycle post in reference)

Thank you for sending this ask! I apologize for the belated response, but I wanted to wait to respond until I had the chance to get ahold of some screenshots that would be relevant to this discussion. With that out of the way, let's get into the meat of the issue!

First off, you are absolutely right! I think the circle motif represents a few key themes: balance, as you mentioned; recursion; and inheritance. And all of those things, in a way, tie back into the show's interpretation of destiny and the way fate is baked into almost every aspect of the story.

Balance is the most obvious interpretation, of course, and perhaps the most compelling. Like, not just because the circle is by design an incredibly balanced shape, simultaneously having infinite sides yet at the same time only one. But also because there are so many instances of circles appearing in the way in which the balance between light and dark is visually represented within the series - especially with regard to the creation mythology.

(On an unrelated note, I think it's actually kind of a cool detail how the FSM is represented as a grey being - not Oni of darkness, not dragon of light, but something in between. The child of both worlds.)

The world was created by the FSM, and while I can't remember if it was ever outright stated, I think there's enough evidence to at least assume spinjitzu was used alongside the Golden Weapons to create Ninjago (I'm happy to elaborate on this if asked!)

On this note of balance, I also think it's worth noting the attention drawn to the splitting of circles. As seen above, with the creation of the Dark Island, but also with the Battle Between Brothers! Now, I'm definitely overthinking this, but bear with me for a sec.

The Monastery of Spinjitzu is, quite iconically, arguably circular in shape. Well, it's really more of a hexagon, but you get my drift. And the sons of the FSM, each representing light and dark, were friends for a long time. But when Garmadon finally succumbed to the venom's influence and was banished to the Underworld, a crevice was torn into the ground, splitting that circle - and likewise splitting the two brothers in the process.

And again! The Lloyd v Garmadon fight in sesaon 8! Despite loving each other very deeply, they have both been forced into conflict by the forces of destiny time and again. Lloyd knows the drill at this point. "I've saved you once, I'll save you again." The fight itself takes place in a circular structure - the Kryptarium Prison panopticon. Lloyd enters this fight assuming the established cycle of fighting and redeeming his father will be reinforced. But when Lloyd is thrown through the wall, thereby breaking through the prison's circular structure, so too is this cycle broken as well (and with it like half the bones in Lloyd's body as well as his heart).

And of course, we can't forget the most iconic example - when the FSM created the Dark Island, banishing the Overlord and his Stone Army for the protection of the world he created, the circular continent was split in two. The destruction of the circle.

The destruction of the circle is also how the Oni are introduced in Mystake's story - the dragon creates a circle, and the Oni destroys it.

So to recap: a circle is balance, balance is stability and unity, and the dissolution of the circle is the loss of stability.

That in itself is a cycle - creating something, destroying it, creating it again.

Kinda like the show itself, in a constant loop of the world facing ruin and building itself back up again and again. Like how the Overlord can never truly be defeated, dying and coming back like the ebb and flow of the tide. Like the snake eating its own tail, a cycle feeding itself endlessly. Like how a circle has infinite sides.

That's interesting enough as it is, right? Just wait! It goes deeper!

As mentioned before, the FSM arguably created Ninjago to some extent using spinjitzu. Spinjitzu, which is both a martial art and a lifestyle that utilizes circular motion to create a tornado around the user. The quintessential example of the circle motif. Spinjitzu is quite literally the foundation of the show's identity and worldbuilding. This show is, on both a narrative and a meta level, built on the concept of circles. And according to the Core shorts, one of its principle values includes balance.

Which, in the end, boils back to what you were saying about how cycles are a law of reality in Ninjago. I agree!

If I have my lore right and Ninjago was created through spinjitzu in some degree or another, then that means it was created through circular motion. The world was made spinning. The world was made as one big cycle. So to some extent, I do definitely think that good and evil must constantly fight. If the world isn't constantly repeating itself, if this cycle of recursion ever stops, then the world will stop spinning. And what happens when the world stops spinning?

Chaos, as I'm sure you can imagine.

Although, we also have to consider that the Overlord said "there will be peace in the dark". Now, since he is a villain and also the embodiment of darkness itself we should take his words with a grain of salt, but it definitely raises the question of what it would look like if darkness or light truly did prevail over the other, or if such a thing is even possible in the first place. Will there be peace in the dark? Or does the Overlord have an arguably more compelling motivation - that is, as an immortal being incapable of death, locked in an eternal limbo between victory and defeat, he knows that the only way this deathless hell will end is if the balance is destroyed and the universe falls to pieces. Maybe that's what the Overlord means by 'peace in the dark'. That theory has a lot of holes in it, of course, but I'm certainly intrigued by what that would mean for the Overlord's character. This might also hint at the origins of Darkley's, but that's a weird little tinfoil-hat tangent that we're not gonna worry about right now.

Now, I mentioned earlier that there are three main themes that the circle motif draws on: balance, recursion, and inheritance. And those three themes all tie into destiny somehow. So far, we've talked about balance and recursion - how history must keep repeating itself, how the whole world must remain in eternal conflict between light and dark or else the circle will dissolve and chaos will reign. But what about inheritance?

This is the fun part, but also a bit obvious. First, inheritance comes through elemental powers - not only because powers are passed on from person to person, as well as the legacies of those powers, but also because the elements of creation all tie back to the Green Ninja. They all manifest in him, and while the other ninja are capable of wielding those powers independently they all tie back to Lloyd in the end. Like convection cells but instead of circulating wind currents it's magical powers.

And, of course, I'm not the first person to comment on how elemental powers can be seen as a metaphor for generational trauma, and how each character inherits the legacy and loss of prior generations vicariously through their powers. Other people have elaborated on this idea far more eloquently than I ever could. But it's still worth mentioning in this discussion, so here we are.

And!! Then you've got things like the Yin-Yang Eclipse (which, imo, didn't look much like the Yin-Yang symbol at all. It looked more like a funky Z if you ask me). With Yang telling Cole to "close the circle" - the curse of the Airjitzu Temple requires that someone always remain behind as the master of the house. Yang needed Cole to take his place as the temple's new prisoner. He needed Cole to complete the cycle of inheritance. He needed Cole to close the circle.

And that right there is the base essence of this show, isn't it? Closing the circle. Completing the cycle. The sins of the father laid upon the son. History repeating itself. Repetition and recursion.

This all pertains to destiny in ways I hope are quite apparent at this point. The scholars in the Cloud Kingdom write destiny. They choose what happens. They designed the Prophecy of the Green Ninja. Perhaps they're doing all this, perhaps they're putting the ninja through all this trauma and suffering, perhaps they're creating this history and this world to be endlessly recursive, in an effort to maintain the balance and protect the universe from spiraling out of control. Or maybe they're just doing it to get their sick kicks. Who knows? We've only seen the Cloud Kingdom for like one whole episode so at this point who's to say.

But a bit more blatantly to the point, according to Lloyd in 2.12 "Return of the Overlord" the below images show the symbol for destiny. And what do you see??? Circles!!!!!!!! Circles as unity! Circles as balance! And in the latter image, circles represented through colors, which denote their roles in destiny and likewise the powers they inherited from their ancestors! It's circles all the way down!!!!

Oh and before I go, here's some food for thought. The Overlord once said that "destruction comes from the eternal struggle between light and dark." And Oni have the power of destruction. Garmadon, once he's reached his true potential, is powered by conflict. "It's the fight that fuels him." Which does seem to corroborate with what we know about the Overlord himself - as Misako said, "where there is light, there must also be darkness." Conflict creates darkness, and darkness creates conflict, just as light creates shadow.

God, I'm losing my mind over this. Balance is the struggle between light and dark. Destruction is a byproduct of this struggle. Destruction causes darkness. Darkness plays a pivotal role in the existence of the balance. The balance is creating itself. The cycle ultimately cycles back in on its own self. We've come full circle. It's the freakin' ouroboros! The snake eating its own tail! Endless consumption with infinite return! Circular motion causing its own endless perpetuity!! It's a fight you can never truly win but also can't lose, because the existence of conflict creates conflict, and without conflict there cannot be peace! You cannot escape from the cycle because you are the cycle!

So, to conclude:

Thanks again for the ask! <3 God I sure hope this rant made at least a teensy bit of sense.

[sonwar]

hello!! i would like to first preface that i'm a fan of your writing (ao3 user sonwar) from your kpop works (namely the seokhoon (seventeen) titled 'do you know my heart? (i can't be without you)' in 2020. and if i remembered you wrongly, and you have in fact never heard of this fic or the kpop group before please feel free to delete this ask i apologise deeply aaaaa (whoops ahahaaa im sorry if that's the case)

today. as one does, i was thinking of this fic: its definitely one of the bigger fics the seokhoon tag has seen, and also one of those fics which leave a kind of Impact. even as i ponder seokhoon today as a writer myself, i find so many of the symbols and metaphors i use in my writing to have come from that fic. (if you remember) the ideas of jihoon admiring seokmin's singing & calling him the best singer—i took that and i turned it into a kind of how jihoon's music has been made real vs seokmin's which comes more as instinct—and jihoon, who is in awe of this. and of course seokmin thinking about jihoon all the time—that's something that i genuinely hold so close to my heart. it's so sweet and just soooo seokmin. aaaaaa

your writing there has such a tender and sweet quality to it that ive been striving to achieve—emotion comes across in a way that is. muted (i mean this positively). i feel comfortable reading it because it never feels shocking everything just feels so natural. those 33k words are a source of comfort. i love and value growth in characters/the progression of time in fic, and oh man!!!! you really show the emotional growth of seokhoon so incredibly well in that fic. its so good to me. it feels so alive because of the references you made but also because of how you wrote them. to create life!!! it's so incredible because. its all just so rich and perfect and good and i'm so grateful that ive been able to read this and have it affect me on such a level. my comment on that fic does nothing to live up to what i actually thought of it and now even if i cant convey my appreciation on the fic comments itself, i tried to find another way to reach out to you (hence, this lengthy anon ask)

feel free to ignore this/not reply!!! i understand that you've orphaned the seokhoons for a reason but in a way i just really wanted to let you know that your writing has made me feel so much. and for that! i am so grateful!! thank you again and so much for all of it.

hi anon! you have me right, i am responsible for do you know my heart (as well as "when i'm with you i bloom" and "i'm dying to be taken apart" in case you were looking for me...) i had sort of decided i was going to keep my kpop fandom side off tumblr, since i have found it to be sort of unwelcoming towards kpop, for whatever reason? but your message was so touching i'm throwing that out the window and doing whatever i want anyway! (more under the cut <3)

Letting you know off the bat that your message made me! incredibly emotional and teary eyed! Thank you very much for your kind words, you really can't know how much it means to me, and I'm so glad you reached out to me this way as well! I genuinely got so excited when I read your ask, I'm always happy to talk fics and even more happy to talk seokhoon, as I don't have many people to discuss them with! So thank you! The reason why I orphaned my old fics is...probably a lot more simple than what you might be thinking? The truth is, after posting those three seokhoon fics (which I wrote in pretty quick succession to each other), I went about two years without writing anything at all because I didn't have the bandwidth for it, and then I wrote The Mystery of The Pears in some kind of fugue state over the course of a couple months, and when I read that back to myself I felt that my writing had grown so much, I didn't really want that writing to be associated with my writing of a few years ago. But, to be honest, I re-read my Seokhoon fics again a few weeks ago and found that I enjoyed them much more than I thought I would, and much more than I did when I first wrote them, so I wonder if it's less that my writing has grown and maybe more that I've learned to be kinder towards myself...that'll teach me to orphan fics without completely thinking it through first, I guess. (that being said! i'd like you to know i am still planning on writing more seokhoon! seventeen is very near and dear to my heart, like. i really can't put into words the love i have for those boys, which is to say that i'll probably be a carat for as long as they're seventeen, and maybe even a little longer than that. plus, i feel personally tasked with bringing more seokhoon into the world, so, you know. currently, i'm really trying to finish a seokhoon fic i promised a friend MONTHS ago, even before tmotp was finished, and then i have about...3? seokhoon wips i've started and would like to finish? whether they all get done is to be seen, but hopefully!) Anyway...I have to say, I really love the way you took my little headcanon about Jihoon admiring Seokmin's singing and devolped it further! It's something I think a lot about, too, I think it's so interesting that, objectively, Seokmin has a much wider range and capacity as a singer, but that ever since Jihoon was a trainee he's been told he "already knows how to sing" and "doesn't need singing lessons." It makes me wonder how Jihoon approaches singing, if it's something that he considers more physical, like a muscle that he can control, rather than something emotional, which I think might be closer to how Seokmin approaches singing. I mention this because, considering that Jihoon is also the one making guides for the others to follow and the one directing them in the recording booth, I'm a litte curious about how those different approaches meet together in a more practical way, if that makes sense. I do still think it's something Jihoon would admire and think about a lot if only because it would be so different from his own approach. I also have some theories about certain songs in their discography being written specifically for Seokmin's voice (Same Dream Same Mind Same Night immediately comes to mind, I really think out of all their songs, that's the one that showcases the style Seokmin's voice is suited to the most and he really shines on that song...)

I am of the belief that Seokmin would have been watching Jihoon a lot longer than Jihoon would have been watching him...something about admiration that shifts and changes the closer you get to it...And I don't think Seokmin knows how to not take care of people, it's just who he is, but I also think that feeling is heightened a little bit with Jihoon specifically, who takes on a lot of responsibility without ever complaining about it, and who describes himself as someone who deals with things on his own. I think (and I've seen him) he would try to find ways to make things easier for Jihoon without him having to ask for it first, so that's where that comes from. I think muted is one of the sweetest ways anyone has described the way I write emotions. I like the idea of emotions that come easily and gradually, like. Slow drip love rather than sudden and all-consuming (and, that way, when trying to convey something that is bigger and overwhelming, it's easier to contrast those two emotions against each other), so thank you very much for that. I also think it's very funny you mention the way I wrote the progression of Seokhoon in that fic because, while I find your words incredibly kind and I'm so happy to hear you enjoyed it, and I can still sort of see why I wrote that fic the way I did, I do sometimes consider sort of re-writing a different version of that fic because I'm so sure I could do it better now...nowadays, I think the timeline would be a little different? Idk. Something for future me to consider... Anyway! Thank you, again, for such a lovely ask, I really am so very thankful, and I'm so glad you enjoyed my Seokhoon. Please feel free to message me whenever you'd like! (I'm also on twt! I only use tumblr on browser so I only log on when I'm using my laptop, but I'm a lot more active on twt.) Also, if you ever post your fics or already have, please let me know! I'd love to read them, and I'm always looking for more Seokhoon fics, since there's so very little of them to go around, as I'm sure you know...

[practice-is-praxis]

Magick Basicks and Evolving a Psychochosm.

Core Elements of Magick

1. Intention

Most acts of Magick begin with the Statement of Intent. This is a simple declaration of what one is about to do, and for what final purpose. Since vague intentions tend to give rise to, at best, vague results, the magician should formulate a Statement of Intent which is as precise as possible, without becoming overly verbose. It is often good to write the Statement of Intent as if it has already happened, rather than what you want to happen, or what will happen. I.E. “I am powerful and grow more powerful every day”, rather than “I want to be powerful and grow more powerful every day.”

This can be attributed to the idea that you are casting a spell to “want” the things you want, the moment you “want” them in that way, and the result you get is “wanting” the result more, rather than getting the result. 2. Probability Pathways Contrary to popular opinion, magickal results do not pop up out of thin air, and it does help enormously, with magickal workings, if there is a pathway along which the desired result can manifest. This can also be examined in terms of probabilities.

A magician who performs a ritual to ensure that they pass an exam, but does no revision or cramming, is not creating a situation where there is a reasonable probability that they will pass with flying colors. If, however, they do study, the probability of success is likely to be higher. Magick does seem to achieve the best results when the probability factor is at least fractionally higher than zero. To take another example, when planning workings for financial gain, it is useful to have a number of projects on the go, any of which may result in increased funds--hence the magickal working is more likely to yield some kind of positive result. 3. Timing

Timing is an important yet often underrated factor in practical magick. A good example of how timing can critically affect the outcome of a working, is that of Healing. If a client has a long-term, progressive disease, then magickal workings to impede its progress may be more successful at an early, rather than a late stage, in the course of the illness.

Complex life situations can be examined for the purposes of Magick as unfolding event series. In the early stages of a developing situation, there may be more fluidity and flexibility than at a later stage where it is less easy to influence probable outcomes. Events which can be perceived are macroscopic changes which have been brought about by the unseen interaction of microscopic fluctuations. In other words, an avalanche can be seen, but not the very small factors which brought it about. Developing strategies that allow the identification of small changes, and then influencing them so that they lead to a change which fulfills the conditions of one's statement of intent, can therefore be useful for Sorcery working. In other words, learn to 'nudge' a situation at the right moment. Paying close attention to what is happening in a given situation is useful, and using Divination systems can also help here. Magickal Operations - Basic Procedure

Once a Statement of Intent has been formulated, and any other relevant factors taken into account, the next general step in any magickal operation is to move into a “Free Area”.

In orthodox magickal systems, this tends to involve ritual procedures for setting up a magickal Circle, making any psychological adjustments for magickal work, or assuming particular postures.

From a Chaos perspective, a Free Area is any space which has been redefined as a zone where normal Consensus Reality is suspended, and Magickal Reality is operant. Thus a Free Area may refer to a previously-prepared Temple, a space in which ritual is to be performed, or a state of Consciousness.

Within the Free Area, the magician uses any preferred technique/trick deemed appropriate to clear their awareness of anything but the impending magickal act. This can range from full ritual procedures (performing a Banishing ritual, setting up an altar, etc.,) to merely closing one's eyes and concentrating.

The techniques used to define a Free Area often depend upon: i) Circumstances

ii) Available Time

iii) Necessity

iv) Individual Preference Following the definition of, and entry into the Free Area, the next stage is to move towards a state of consciousness known in the Chaos approach as Gnosis. Gnosis is a condition of one-pointed consciousness wherein awareness is emptied of all save the object of concentration; where will is given both intentionality and vector.  

The main routes to Gnosis are threefold: Excitatory-anything which stimulates the Body-Mind, such as dancing, drumming, hyperventilation or sexual arousal; Inhibitory-anything which stills the Body-Mind, such as passive meditation, slow chanting, hypnotic agents, or slow breathing; and Indifferent Vacuity-a state of no-mind, or Non-Disinterest, where the object of desire flickers briefly in a mind emptied of all content-no emotional attachment to the desire.

Upon entering the peak of Gnosis, the desire in its chosen representative form (a sigil, for example) is projected forth, towards its target or into the void of the multiverse. It is then banished from awareness, that is to say, forgotten.

Following projection of the desire, the Free Area is closed using any preferred method, such as manic laughter, a Banishing Ritual, or a hand gesture. The Magician then moves onward, having set up the conditions whereby their desire will manifest accordingly.

It should be noted that a key to magick is that, on completion of a working, it should be considered-at least on a magickal level-to be finished with, and nothing more in the way of magickal work needs to be done.

The deep certainty that one's magick will yield the desired result will only come through continued practice, effort, and refinement of technique, but it is not unusual for advanced practitioners to claim a success rate with this kind of magick of around 80-90%. The above description of General Magickal Procedure could be used to describe any magickal working, from a three-hour group ritual involving prolonged dancing, drumming and chanting, to an act of 'Empty-Handed' magick which can be performed anywhere, and need only last a few seconds.

In general, magicians tend to proceed from the former to the latter type of working. As one continually progresses, the definitions of what constitutes a magickal action tend to become fairly fluid. At the beginning of magickal practice, it is usual to perceive magickal operations as being separate from everyday experience. Later, however, acts of magick become a part of everyday experience, as one makes the transition between inhabiting a Consensus Reality which is gradually widening to admit the possibilities of magick, to creating a personal Magickal Reality-a Psychocosm. EVOLVING A PSYCHOCHOSM

In becoming familiar with magickal ideas, reading books, learning symbol systems and correspondences, one comes to learn the game’s rules of magick. Like any other game, the rules define the framework of the activity.

For a game to be worthwhile, its rules must be flexible, open to different interpretations, and allow for different needs and situations. Involvement with magickal practice shows that the game rules of Consensus Reality are more flexible, and have more loopholes than one may have originally thought. Developing a magickal Psychocosm is a slow process, as one gathers momentum in magickal practice, shifting from the tentative position of having read a few books and probably having thereby set up preconceptions as to what magick is about, to beginning to practice magickal techniques in earnest.

One of the strengths of the Chaos approach is that experience is stressed over pre-experiential beliefs. Do it first, then consider which beliefs and concepts seem to be most appropriate, in the light of personal experience. In modern culture, there are hundreds of magickal systems available, with more being discovered, recovered and invented every year. Beginners in magick often adopt a system which reflects their core self-beliefs and ideas, or, as is sometimes the case, the first system that is encountered or made accessible. Since few people get anything from an approach they are not even remotely interested in, it is usually best to choose a magickal system that is attractive, for whatever reasons. It is important to note, however, that our beliefs relating to magick, be they general or particular, do not necessarily remain constant. They are likely to change according to our experience and changes in personal perspective.

Our primary sources of information which help us in forming a psychocosm tend to be books and other people. It is also important to practice the loosening of belief through reality-testing. This is not always easy to do, particularly if one has limited opportunities for doing so.

When magicians lack opportunities for reality-testing, beliefs about the nature of magick can quickly become dogmas to be defended at all costs. In part, this is due to the ways in which magickal theory is generally perceived. Whilst a student of physics needs to be familiar with certain theories before performing an advanced experiment, a magician does not need to have absorbed a huge chunk of abstract theory in order to cast a spell. Much of what passes for magickal theory is, at root, a matter of belief. As such, it is more relevant to the successful outcome of the magician's spell, that they have some degree of belief in what they are doing.

Moreover, whereas scientific theories are based (at least so we are told by scientists) on mathematical proofs, magickal theories are rooted in the personal beliefs of whoever is expounding them. Whereas scientific theories at least have the appearance of being unified and consistent, magical theories do not, nor is it a requirement, from the position of practical magick, that they do. While there are a great many theories and models proposed as to how, or why, magick works, (based on subtle energies, animal magnetism, psychological concepts, quantum theory, mathematics, the anthropomorphic principle, and so on) it is not a case that one of them is more 'true' than others, but a case of which theory or model you choose to believe in, or which theory you find the most attractive.

Indeed, from a Chaos Magick perspective, you can selectively believe that a particular theory or model of magickal action is true only for the duration of a particular ritual or phase of work. excerpted from “Prime Chaos” by Phil Hine.

[chikkou]

Will you talk more about Lisa?? Lisa the character specifically but also your feelings on his feelings about Buddy? I just thought your analysis was so good and I want to hear other thoughts you have on her.

yall are honestly spoiling me rn sdhkfdjfks this is like a dream come true 

i already got into the stuff with buddy in this ask here but i have a LOT to say about lisa and the connection between her and buddy so u better settle in!

ok so firstly ill start with lisa. i played the original lisa game (lisa the first) not long after it first dropped in 2012, and im not even kidding when i said it changed me LMAO.... seeing a story about a girl suffering is nothing new, but austin jorgensens approach to it was so fucking unique. you dont just witness it, you get to EXPERIENCE it right along with her. many stories that involve sexual abuse/rape show or otherwise depict it explicitly for the shock value, which is both disgusting and, in my opinion, extremely fucking exploitative. i feel that it is horrific to dignify an act so deeply evil with screentime. but lisa stood out to me immediately because, even though you know exactly whats going on, the game NEVER shows anything explicit. everything is layered in subtext and symbolism, and austin is fantastic with indirect storytelling, so you learn so much from just a little drop of information. this applies not just to the game proper, but to the character as well.

in case its not clear: i absolutely ADORE lisa. she is my favorite character in all of the games, bar none. its going to sound kind of fucked up, but as a kid around her age going through some fucked up shit, her committing suicide at the end felt like a sort of victory to me. she knew she could never escape from marty or what he was doing to her. he leaks into every single part of her psyche, everything she ever cared about or loved is ruined because of him, and even the vague memory of her mother is completely corrupted, and turned into a muddled version of him. lisa the first also had the added benefit of some religious commentary, as there are crosses all over their home and marty is characterized as an extremely religious man, which i fucking LOVE and wish had come back in the painful, but its an acceptable loss. anyway, lisa committing suicide at the end was an act of defiance against not just marty, but martys god, as suicide is considered a mortal sin in catholicism. lisa knew she’d never be free of marty in life, so she escaped the only way she could; she was defiant to the end.

ive seen people complain that the painful has a bit of a “lost lenore” thing going on, since lisas death seems to fuel the Manpain of both brad and buzzo, but i actually disagree. on the contrary, its just like austin himself said - lisa will never be gone. lisa is ALWAYS there, with brad, and buzzo, and buddy, and marty, and yado, and the ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD. i dont necessarily think that there is something paranormal going on in the game, but i AM going to say that, unlike other cases of a girl/woman dying for a mans backstory, lisa isnt just a bittersweet memory they can reflect on and then put away when its convenient for them. she is a presence that is felt throughout the entire game. brad sees her more than once, sometimes watching, sometimes reprimanding him. buzzo is clearly haunted by her, as he cries out to her a few times in the joyful. every character who was directly touched by lisa - brad, marty, and buzzo - calls out to lisa as they die. call it their guilt or call it her actions, but in either case, it is clear that lisa just as significant of a character in the painful as she was in the first, even if she cant always be seen. even in a meta-sense, every game in the series - even the joyful, whose protagonist doesnt even know who she is - is named after her. she is at the center of everything that happens in them. 

that actually brings me to buddy, because i find the dynamic between her and lisa fucking fascinating. as i previously mentioned, brad never talked about his past with buddy, and snaps at her for bringing up his adoptive son dusty (rando), so it goes without saying that she definitely doesnt know who lisa is. in spite of that, though, lisa is a fucking massive part of buddys life, and while she may not know the person herself, i think she is aware that when people (and brad especially) look at her, they arent seeing HER. 

i mentioned it in another post, but even though brad takes it upon himself to raise and “protect” buddy, he seems to almost unwittingly recreate lisas appearance, primarily by allowing her hair to grow long even though he knows what a risk that is to her safety. he also treats buddy in a manner thats incredibly similar to how marty treated lisa (sans sexual abuse, of course) - he insults her, does not let her leave the house at all, and forces her to do unsavory things that no one should ever have to do (in buddys case, this means killing at least two innocent people because brad doesnt want a “weak” daughter). the most literal comparison between buddy and lisa is the fact that they are both very young girls being essentially held captive by their father figures, albeit for different reasons, and both long for freedom from their captors. 

theres also the fact that both buddy and lisa have to deal with misogyny and the effects of rape culture firsthand; they both battle against men who feel entitled to do with them whatever they please, and the threat of ongoing sexual abuse looms heavy over both of their heads. neither one can seek help from anyone; the neighbors in brad and lisas town seem complacent at best, if they even know what is happening to lisa at all, and buddys only allies (sans rando) are long dead by the start of the joyful. this is not just a hypothetical or a distant possibility. this is the real, tangible fate that will befall them if they cant somehow secure their safety.

sadly, because lisa wasnt playable in either of the rpgs, we dont know if she was able to fight as brad was, but it is highly probable that she had the innate skill but was never able to learn it (as marty highly discouraged them from learning “their grandfathers karate,” and seemed disgusted whenever brad did so). however, she did have ONE weapon she could make use of, and this is a weapon buddy ends up using, as well - her femininity. she became close to bernard (aka buzzo), made him fall in love with her, and then used him as a last ditch effort to stop martys abuse by having him mutilate her face. im not saying lisa never cared about bernard - in fact, i think she DID really love and care for him - but her own fucked up experiences with “love” meant she really couldnt understand what it was supposed to be like, or that it was wrong to manipulate the people you care about. lisa did very few things wrong - it pretty much just stops at the maiming of the cat and her manipulation of bernard - but she knew that she would never get away from marty without some kind of drastic action being taken, and scarring herself was her last ditch effort before ultimately committing suicide.

buddy ends up taking a somewhat similar tack in the joyful, and like in lisas case, its simultaneously resourceful and horrific. one of buddys key moves in the joyful is to flash the enemy (which the player obviously doesnt see) in order to distract them long enough to get the kill. its fucking horrible and disgusting and makes you feel so dirty, but then, how must buddy feel having to do something like that just to survive? shes just a child, but in a world where almost every man is out to get you, she knows this has to be done to save herself, very much like lisa. unlike in lisas case, though, buddy is successful in securing her safety in this way - lisas effort is for naught, and leads to her committing suicide not very long after. 

in a way, i sort of attribute buddys brutality to lisas omnipresence; all of the men pursuing buddy are just like marty, monsters who would harm a fucking child for their own disgusting ends, and i think that when buzzo said that lisa wouldve loved olathe, what he means is that she would have loved seeing so many horrible men being punished for what theyd done. so in my opinion, buddy carving out a place for herself in olathe by killing all those who would subjugate her seems very much in the mentality lisa would have had. sure, there are some innocents who sadly get roped into it, but that would definitely not be her intention; for example, if buzzo could have practiced amputation without harming a living thing, i dont think lisa would have asked him to practice on the cat. note the LACK of brutality at the beehive and the swamp bar, two of the few peaceful places in the painful and both devoid of predatory men hunting for buddy - lisa has no qualm with any of them. but marty? brad could hardly even get a full sentence out before killing him on the spot. i dont doubt that that has a great deal to do with lisas presence. 

ok i talked for a while LMAO but basically i think that, in a more metatextual sense, lisa and buddys relationship really strikes me as an accurate depiction of generational trauma. of course it was intentional with the more obvious trauma chain (marty to brad to buddy), but the trauma chain of marty to lisa to buddy is rarely ever addressed due to lisa not physically appearing in the painful. however, i believe it may inform buddys actions a great deal more than people realize - after all, buddys experience is unique, but who could understand it better than lisa? who knows that sort of pain, of being alone on an island, the lone woman trapped with a man (or men) who want nothing more than to cause you harm? even without her realizing it, lisa is guiding buddy, encouraging her to take back what is hers no matter the cost, to punish those who would try to take what they want from her. lisa might be dead, but she is a vengeful presence throughout every game, and buddys actions feel like theyre meant not only to save herself, but to avenge lisa, even if she doesnt realize it. at the end of the day, buddy and lisa both get to exact revenge against all the men who have wronged them, and they succeed. they are aggressive, and violent, and selfish, and ANGRY - and they have every fucking right to be. 

[mysterylover123]

BNHA Rewatch: Episode 61 “Deku vs Kacchan Part 2″

 mysterylover123

O.T.P.

This is gonna get kinda emotional.

Deku is turning Kacchan’s fight proposal down. Dammit Deku! He’s being serious!

Hoo boy that Kacchan face. No light in his eyes. That realization, just…just bleeding through…hoo boy.

“If the way you admired him was correct, does that mean my way of thinking was wrong?” OMG ITS HAPPENING. HE’S REALIZING IT YA’LL.

The flashbacks to bb Deku and Kacchan the feels.

The white void, it’s just the two of them. 

That Deku line from the first episode. I’m transported right back, ya’ll. It’s that first love again, that same feeling I had when I first discovered this series all the way back in summer of last year.

So Deku starts by thinking too hard about what’s going on and immediately gets blasted.

“You think too much” hoo boy recently Mother’s Basement posted the analysis of this fight and pointed out that this is actually a flaw of Deku’s that he can learn to remedy by adopting some of Kacchan’s impulsiveness. Never has the phrase “you complete me” been more accurate.

This freaking animation. It’s so beautiful. OMG.

“Wait for me” OH MAN BB DEKU BB KACCHAN RUNNING I’M DEAD I AM DYING

Cause he loves ya you dope.

Cute overload

WHY WHY WHY hoo boy Kacchan flashbacks.

Dat little trip oh man. He’s so bummed Deku doesn’t wanna fight and Deku’s little kick actually knocked him down.

Ooh boy. Here it comes. The music went out

Hold his freaking hand some day dammit

Oh god I can’t watch this again I can’t I can’t

“why is to you became strong…while I - “ OH GOD HERE IT COMES HERE IT COMES

OH GOD. Slow clap. Okamoto and Chapin both deserve freaking awards for that performance. I mean holy shit. That voice acting. Those cracks. That hit. It makes me cry. I’m tearing up right now. Cause you see, this whole episode, it really rests on the ability of Bakugou’s Seiyuu and VA to pour everything into the performance. It’s not going to hit without both of them giving the vocal acting performance of a lifetime, and they both knocked it out of the freaking park. I actually love them both as his voice; I don’t have a preference for dub over sub, as regards their performances (not the dialogue translations), because both are incredible. Just. Slow clap. All of the awards, please.

Look at how Deku looks at him. He’s the best. He just…he cares, so much. I mean, you’d admittedly have to be a pretty heartless bastard not to feel a little compassionate after hearing that speech but still. Kacchan’s so fucking lucky he has Deku and he doesn’t even know it. I want one too.

He’s crying. Me too.

Kacchan no Kacchan no nononononono 

Oh god Deku you beautiful darling

“may not be any meaning” I DISAGREE THIS IS THE CULMINATION OF AN ENTIRE SERIES’ WORTH OF 100+ SYMBOLIC CHAPTERS DETAILING YOUR GROWTH FROM ANGRY YELLING RIVALS TO RIVALS WHO SUPPORT EACH OTHER DAMMIT IT’S EVERYTHING

“May not be any meaning in winning or losing” lol are you just saying that in hindsight, Future Deku, cause you know you lost?

Deku didn’t have to do this. He didn’t have to fight Kacchan or even let him know the truth.

And note, he didn’t accept until he realized there was someone he could save. Someone who needs saving, to be helped. And this is how to help him.

“The only one who can accept his feelings is me.” Ya’ll heard that haters? Say it a little louder for the people in the back, Deku. He’s got his heart.

And look who’s smiling again, eyes lighting up again, the minute Deku started fighting back?

“I couldn’t just completely reject him” Guess who also sad that about their fiery spiky blond spouse in BNHA? Kacchan’s dad in that omake about their marriage.

Their relationship was wrong, but now it’s right. 

They never talked about how they really felt. Communication is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship, folks. Go on. Talk about your feels. Your real feelings.

Of that was one hell of a hit.

That speedy recovery though. Deku is fast. 

Oh wow Kacchan hit it too

That smile. That smile OMG that is THE HOTTEST, by far, that Deku has ever looked in animation. And I don’t say that lightly.

The translation here is either “I’ve” or “you’ve” gotten stronger. Both fit fine, which is the crazy part. Deku could be either saying that he himself has improved, or complimenting Bakugou, which does admittedly make more sense with what he was saying before, while ‘I’ve’ fits his cocky grin here better. I want him to flash a cocky grin more. It suits him. (BTW The English Dub compromises between the two and says’ we’ve both’.

Katsuki assumes Deku has a plan. Always overestimating him.

“That’s what I hate about you” OMG HE FINALLY TELLS HIM HOW HE FEELS. “I can never tell what you’re thinking” Because ya know he’s so good at understanding how everyone else thinks and feels.

He’s always being mean to Deku. Deku has seen him at his very worst and yet still admires him. Maybe that’s scary, you know? Unconditional love is…kinda terrifying. But so, so beautiful. So he has to rationalize it that Deku is just looking down on him.

Wow Deku sure took you long enough! He’s been saying that since day 1!

“I wouldn’t want anything to do with them anymore” Deku there you go being empathetic and wonderful and perfect again. So understanding you darling, darling boy.

 “Along with the parts I hated about you, I saw all the amazing things you could do.” THAT’S ADMIRATION, FOLKS. ADMIRATION WITHOUT IDOLIZATION. Without hero-worship. Acknowledging the good and the bad. Seeing a person for who they really are and always, always seeing the best of them, even at their worst.

“MUCH CLOSER TO ME THAN ALL MIGHT” Do you hear him guys? The closest person to him, closer than All Might. Closer than his freaking #1 favorite hero. The dub version has “actually in my life”, which isn’t a bad idea either. Both are true. That is so powerful. The person who

Oh yeah and again how does Deku advance in power? How does he Go Beyond? KACCHAN. Full cowling, he found from him. OFA itself, he gained by saving him. And 8%.

THAT SMILE. “I thought you were amazing.” He loves you you idiot. 

He kept chasing after him. He’ll never stop. He won’t just give up.

He passed him. And Bakugo looks happy. Possibly because he wants Deku to do better. Possibly because it seems to be confirming his might-makes-right theory. Possibly both.

ANIMATION-GASM AGAIN. 

AHAHAHAHAHAH ITS THAT CUT ITS THAT CUT DEKU’S DANCING FEET

THE VOID AROUND THEM IT’S JUST YOU AND ME 

AND THE BLOCK OMG THIS IS BEAUTIFUL THIS IS THE MOST FREAKING BEAUTIFUL ANIMATION IVE EVER SEEN

I’m serious. They brought out all the stops for this one. Of course. they knew, they had to know, that this was it. The animation, too, had to be perfect, or else it wasn’t gonna come across. And it is. Even better, in my opinion, than the animation in the stuff that came before it. Bones you are incredible. 

Higher gear. Can anyone doubt that Katsuki is important to Deku’s journey after this?

“This is gross, so I can’t say it”.. “I love you?” A reactor I follow actually said that after that line. That’s how intense they are.

Anyway IMAGE OF VICTORY SPEECH. The Ep that keeps on giving. 

Kacchan is his image of victory. The other side of him. And he adopts some of his traits.

“The part of you I hate and yet” How much love can you have for a person when you can somehow still admire the darkest, meanest parts of them? I don’t have a very perfect definition of love but I think that’s probably a big part of it.

“my image of victory is of you” feels overload. Feels O.D. 

dat crane shot.

My one disappointment with this episode is that they used the US of Smash OST instead of the Katsuki and Izuku OST for this scene. CMON GUYS. SERIOUSLY. THE KATSUKI AND IZUKU THEME HAD TO HAVE BEEN WRITTEN FOR THIS EPISODE AND THIS MOMENT ALONE. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING. 

“I have to beat you” the music the feels omg

Hahaha psych. Kacchan wins anyway. 

WOOF. Like OK this is in the manga, this positioning, but it’s only for one frame. In the anime it goes on for like, an uncomfortably long time, with the slow panting, and the close-ups on the twisting body parts, and…combined with the fact that all of Deku’s admiring girlfriends in this arc have also landed on top of him in a similar pose, and you can’t blame me for the fact that my mind went into rather…R-rated territory. 

Kacchan’s disappointed. He didn’t want Deku to lose. He wanted Deku to win.

That breaking  voice again. Don’t make me cry more dammit it’s too late.

ALL MIGHT! I need an MST3K style All Might commentary-reaction to this entire damn thing. Seriously Hori. If you ever do an extra, please make one that’s a serious of All Might panel reacting to this whole thing. I NEED THAT. 

Finishing each other’s sentences again.

“It’s too late” IT’S NEVER TOO LATE YOU CYNICAL PORCUPINE.

This is such a great moment of catharsis. Why Deku indeed? Well, you’re about to learn.

THAT LINE DELIVERY AGAIN. That Broken voice. Both voice actors are too good.

Deku’s legs though. WOWSA. A little detail I’ve noticed is that Kacchan has really buff, sexy arms and Deku has really buff, sexy legs. Because those are the body parts they use, while the reverse parts are more average.

“I’m weak too” You’re making me weak I can’t take it. His voice his voice that fucking voice

DEKU’S EYES. THEY’RE WELLING. 

HE’S GONNA CRY TOO.

I also need an All Might in my life. I kinda blame myself all the time for things outside of my control. Deku AND Kacchan both blamed themselves for what happened. For All Might’s end. And neither one was really responsible, but they’re just like that. I relate, painfully, to both of them. I have a Deku side and a Bakugo side - deep down, I think we all do. Maybe one more than the other, but that’s what you get when you create two characters who initially act as kind of…distilled embodiments of two sides of the super-hero coin. One all super with no hero, the other all hero with no super - at least, at the beginning.

THAT PIANO MUSIC IT SOUNDS FAMILIAR. IT’S ALL MIGHT’S FREAKING THEME YA’LL!

Ooh boy All Might’s BKDK Speech! Both of their teachers ship them, you guys. All Might AND Aizawa both give big, beautiful speeches about their compatibility. In case you somehow missed it. 

Being fixated on victory like you, young Bakugou…and wanting to save those in trouble, like you, young Midoriya…both of those feelings are necessary.” “You guys are perfect for each other”, says the reactor I mentioned earlier (who isn’t even a hardcore BKDK shipper, mind you, it’s just that it’s that obvious.) And it’s true. You need both. They want each other, they need each other, because they have what the other lacks. They complete each other.  

This is the shonen rival equivalent of having the couple in a rom-com confess at the end of act one instead of act three. It upsets all the cliches and is all the better for it. Though even the most hardcore, dedicated anime rivals, I don’t think have ever gone this married-couple with the ‘mutual respect’ and ‘making each other stronger’ thing.

WIN AND SAVE SAVE TO WIN. They look each other in the eyes.

Oh god not that voice again I’m dying. Don’t make me cry again Kacchan.  

“Don’t lose.” SUPPORTIVE KACCHAN I LOVE SUPPORTIVE KACCHAN.

“I’ll get stronger” CONFIDENT DEKU I LOVE CONFIDENT DEKU. 

“Of the students only you.” ONLY YOU. 

I put this moment really high on my list of Kacchan’s nicest moments, because it means a lot to me and to All Might. All Might acknowledges it. He’s a good secret keeper.

Oh and Deku thanks him too in the English Dub, BTW. Not the manga but nice dub touch. 

OMG he’s such a Tsundere.

He told him everything. HE KNOWS. The only one who knows. None of Deku’s other love interests do. And he has no interest in telling them. 

Kacchan asks why he told him. And I’ve got an answer, after obsessively rereading Chapter 11/rewatching Episode 8 a lot: BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU, YOU IDIOT. You were mad at him for lying about his quirk to you. You asked what was going on (loudly). You accused him of lying to you your whole life. So he told you the truth. Because he can lie to his mom, and he can lie to his friends and teachers and the entire freaking world. But he cannot lie to YOU. Because he loves you. Idiot baka. 

Oh and what’s that music playing there? Why does that sound familiar? YOU SAY RUN YOU SAY RUN YOU SAY RUN IT’S BACK. And you know? That’s I think because YSR symbolizes Deku’s heroic inspiration. The inspiration he both takes in and gives to others. And here, he’s both being inspired by Kacchan, and inspiring him at the same  time.

Now Kacchan is doing the same. “Chosen one” He knows. Deku is better. He’s gotta surpass him.

LOL THIS IS FUNNY. THEY SURE BICKER LIKE THEY’RE MARRIED.

This shot composition. Get it? ALL MIGHT’S THE THING BETWEEN ‘EM.

Oh and this. Yay some character development from Kacchan! Another nice moment of his in this ep. Three times! 

All Might Meta’s a bit about how Kacchan took responsibility and felt bad and does a Mom guilt trip on Dadzawa. They’re getting to be kinda married too now.  

“I went in pretty HARD”. OMG stop it you’re making me think bad things again. Just F*CK already.

Their first act as a married couple is to clean the house together. OMG domestic fluff. 

And now for the best Post-credits scene ever. 

Wow Uraraka ships it so bad. 

Oh and some Todobaku bonus! Aw I guess Bakugou just turned down his 3some offer. 

Ooh awkward silence. 

YAY! Though they did kinda wreck it by having Deku bring it up instead of Kacchan 

NOW THEY’RE HEALTHY ENOUGH TO TALK TO EACH OTHER LIKE HUMAN BEINGS.

Kacchan just praised me. Life is good.

Episode 61 is my favorite episode of my favorite show. I think it’s the best and will never be topped. Feels, left and right. It’s really just perfect. Funny, all 3 of the transcendent, best-of-the-best BNHA eps (This, 49 and 23) are basically just two characters fighting for 20 minutes. Nothing more or less. Yet they’re all so, so good. And this one is…I don’t even know how to put it into words. It’s a phenomenal tour-de-force of acting, visuals, animation, music, and of course, writing, all combining together to be just absolutely unsurpassable. Everything that makes this series good, boiled down to it’s essence. And yes, this did seal the deal for me with BKDK. I liked it before, but this made it a done deal. No going back. And I love it.

BEST GIRL OF THE EP: Uraraka for being so supportive.

RANKER: Top 5 Best Moments of This Episode: (it’s really more like a top 50)

5. Deku’s little Dance number

4. True Rivals at Last

3. True feelings at last

2. The Image of Victory Speech

1. “Why did I become...”

[greenhatsinthesky]

lockdown film no. 27 - Us (2019) dir. Jordan Peele

20/04/2020

- as previously stated, I’m not a horror person. I don’t like jump scares or gratuitous violence. But this? Outstanding. It was one of the most genuinely, properly deeply scary films I’ve ever seen and while the imagery was scary and it did adhere to some of the tropes of horror films the scariest thing about it was the concept and how clever the plot was that made it so good 

- there was so much clever cinematography with the theme of mirroring (obviously all the mirrors, Jeremiah 11:11) which reminded me a bit of the themes in shadow of a doubt but obviously better because its Jordan peele and not hitchcock

- fuck me the colours were astonishing

- i loved the way we didn’t get everything all at once. Like when young Adelaide is in the mirror house and her tether is facing the other way, we were kind of drip fed that scene throughout the film as we learnt more stuff

- I LIKE THAT

- JANELLE MONÁE ON A FUCKING SOUNDTRACK WE LOVE TO SEE IT

- that song fits so well with the concept as well - of not being the same as everyone else and the lyric “i’m always left of centre” is political but it’s also being slightly off like being the tether of someone else and I fucking love it

- the girl who played young Adelaide/Red was incredible 

- i can’t get over how clever the little details are that reference Adelaide’s backstory like everything makes sense pretty much. Like how she ate strawberries instead of the chicken because as a kid she could only eat rabbits. And how she clicks on the offbeat for the song in the car but says to Jason “get in rhythm” because she doesn’t know she’s offbeat

- “It’s not about drugs, its a dope song, don’t do drugs”

- i got anxious every time someone appeared in front of a mirror

- wow the white children were awful

- he nailed the idleness of phatic talk especially with rich upper class white people. Also the subtle alcoholism of it being ‘vodka o’clock’ in the middle of the day and the comedic thing of straight white couples apparently hating each other

- “There’s a family in our driveway.” “No there’s not a family in our driveway.” *2 seconds later.* “Huh. Who’s that?”

- it’s such a simple idea but it works so well! It’s just a home invasion and the terrible anxiety that comes with the possibility of your family being hurt but it’s so fucking good !!

- the three clicks and they absolutely scattered. Terrifying 

- old timey scissors scare me now. Thanks pal 

- the first scene with the tethered family was outstanding. 

- can’t get over how good lupita nyong’o is?? Like who gave her the right and also she is so under appreciated l mean give this woman every award

- gabe’s character was so perfectly summed up when red did the whole monologue about the girl and her shadow and his response was to offer them money

- “You can have the boat for all I care.” “Nobody wants the boat, Dad.” Perfection

- the white family was absolutely peak yuppie and I really hated them so I wasn’t sad to see them go. I did not enjoy the bubbly sound Elisabeth moss was making as she died, however 

- while the bit with Elisabeth moss putting lip gloss on was very creepy, it felt a bit overdone and not quite as nuanced as lupita nyong’o’s performance. Full could not deal with her cutting her face open with scissor though

- it was extremely disturbing to see the whole family get a bit too into trying to kill the people who are hurting them. Obviously it’s important that they keep themselves alive and defeat the bad guys but the kids too? Also it must be so traumatic for the kids to see their parents really trying to kill people

- why does the yuppie child move like a vampire ???

- THE KILL COUNT WHAT THE FUCK

- i appreciated that the majority of the rabbits in the tunnels were white. I know its a bit niche but normally things that are meant to be scary are dark colours which kind of feeds into the insidious idea that dark things and therefore people who have dark skin are scary. In old films the good guy always rides a white horse and the bad guy is always on a black horse, for example, and ravens are a symbol of bad stuff while doves are a symbol of peace. Anyway I just liked the way that one of the main scary symbols is super bright white which goes against a lot of the general symbolism 

- im not generally a fan of ‘the speech at the end that explains everything’ and id rather things be revealed in a more organic way instead of us just being told, but this definitely isn’t the worst one I’ve seen 

- WEIRD FOCUS NO THANKS 

- the cinematography of the tunnel cut together with red and Adelaide dancing, yes please 

- i know its always pretty grim when a vicious death happens in a film but red’s death was absolutely dire. Like all you could hear was the sound of her and then Adelaide’s breathing. And then Adelaide starts laughing? That felt weird. Everyone seems to have a very a bubbly sound with their blood when they die in this which was scary as fuck

- i think the important thing to remember in this is that while there are characters who endanger the protagonists, they can’t really be seen as antagonists because they haven’t actively done anything wrong. I mean red did try to organise a revolution but that was because her life was stolen from her by her tether, who you can’t really blame because she has the right to want an actual life too. Basically no one and everyone is to blame in some sense because you can understand everyone’s motivation

- there was a lot of Kubrick gazing going on with young red/adelaide

- ive seen some speculation about Jason and Pluto and who’s who and if he knows about Adelaide being a tether (as opposed to a whole person?)

- the whole thing reminds me of the idea of soulmates and how plato theorised that two people who were meant to be together were built as one and then they were split apart and had to find each other. The idea of being half a person/being until you find the other person who makes you whole - in isolation they’re both their own entities but not completely 

[xx-saccharetch-xx]

Heehee Steven Universe ocs based on Gem Galaxies Hoohoo

🧪🎀 Pink Angelite 🎀🧪

🌊 ~ Mauve Diamond ~ 🌊

Based around/Inspired by...

Various models of Milwaukee braces, hospitals, specifically hospital menhera, silent nurses from Silent Hill, Valentine from Skullgirls, that Phantom Mask mask tho

Their fork is basically just a pink floaty cloud energy IV, floating peacefully up and fading fast when shot, surrounding a target in a refreshing cool or maternal warmth when healing, while when harming, it may act closer to a lingering, misleading pretty pastel poisonous smog than a very mahou shojo mist.

They really are quite kind, if a bit scary to most. She wasn't always that way, they were simply damaged in a manner not at all easy to heal while in the gem war, an enemy to neither, yet as a result both sides. They can summon their weapon, use their powers and such fine, but likely won't fly again. Has difficulty moving properly, and glitches at times. Mauve, in her unyielding benevolence and pity, can't bring herself to "finish the job" or replace them, though Blood's Untumbled Angelite has threatened to do so on many an occasion, as Pink Angelite makes her very uncomfortable with a level of nauseous disgust when watching them so much as move. (If you've seen Silent Hill's Silent Nurses, you know what I'm referring to. That and their "bones" often can be heard "snapping" in their joltier movements.)

💧 🎆 Window Angelite 🎆 💧

♓~Koi Diamond~♓

Based around/Inspired by...

Sea angels, koi fish (ofc) flowy angel clothes, merfolk, Eva from Evangelion, but without the covered mouth...

He's partially corrupted, and no longer has wings, rather than flying through the air, he swims. Peculiar to watch, yet beautiful all the same.

His fork is stylized, and intended to be minimalist in a sense, looking as though the tip broke off and had to be fixed. It's light energy is a pale blue, and flows smoothly when projected, like water contained as if seen through an invisible tube until reaching its target when shot. The hot energy is spread out on contact, encompassing varying degrees based on the power of projection, its "water" able to harm or heal, either scalding or smothering lovingly with its warmth.

In his mutation, he was hesitantly, benevolently, secretly exiled from Koi's court, as were many of his remaining mutants after their corruption in that first war, only to be shattered if seen by his patrolling gems and caught, but otherwise free to roam. He aligns closely with what one might expect of an angel, and though he was cast out, he will still save any gem from Koi's, Mauve's, or even Blood's (the one who corrupted he and his exiled brethren) courts if he senses danger and the enemy is gone, as he can be somewhat of a pacifist on the best of days.

⛱ 💉 Untumbled Angelite 💉 ⛱

❣ ~ Blood Diamond ~ ❣

Based around/Inspired by...

The actual body horror amalgamations that high angels are illustrated to be, cloven-hooved boots, elegant, yet edgy gothic fashion, vampires, and valkyries.

Her fork is a black-dripping crescent moon, much like her court's own symbol. Its energy sparkles in a way, like black glitter, and as opposed to Mauve's Pink Angelite, is shadowy and has a fog-like consistency, curtaining downward when shot and leaving a low, harmless dark fog around the environment she's in for a while, somewhat obscuring her identity. (Absolutely in love with her concept. Feels good when you design a character and the first concept is that good.) The ice-cold damage pierces/slices when shot at something despite it's appearance suggesting a more punchy or choppy attack until mere seconds before contact, able to harm or heal, but either way definitely cause a jolt or a squirm in response from its harshness.

She, despite being what she is, works by her own code, just as likely to shatter as to save, distant from her diamond, loosely following orders given to stay in Blood's good graces, her intelligence allows her certain special privileges, hence her similarities to an unbiased valkyrie, or grim reaper at her worst. Untumbled gems, as far as my headcanon is concerned, are simply... "rougher and unrefined." As you may expect. Simple metaphor.

[autisticstarseed]

if u could, perhaps, bless us with all the applicable symbols from that fic ask for hvh 👀

ooOoOOOoOO Rub s gay hands togehter omg ty friend 😍;;;;;;

💡 - What was the motivation behind the story?

hHH i hadnt written in 10+ years so when i latched onto this plot idea i just thought itd be a good time to jump the shark and try it again !! i just wanted smth really edgy and depthful bc im emo and the rest kind of snowballed

💎- What was your favorite part?

osdlfksd;lf it’s hard to pick a fav but the drunk scene was definitely the most fun to write at least

⛰️-  What was the hardest part?

THE SCENE WHERE THE GANG IS KIDNAPPED BY ENKI,,,, i debated toning down the violence but in the end i knew where the story was going (and where its still going) and that its gonNA be kinda dark so why hold back now ig

🎭- What was the feeling or mood you were going for?

BITTERSWEET AF,,, sort of just treading the line of ‘hopeful’ and ‘hopeless’ at all times to fully portray the feeling of being at your lowest, but with that classic tss ‘silver linings just around the corner’ kind of undertone

🏟️- Who was your intended audience?

mostly all the adults that watched tss as a kid and felt like spirituaLLY MOVED BY IT cuz i really tried to tap into that Emotion Tee Em we all felt when we found out that zak was [redacted]

🔬- Was there one scene you were building up to/knew you had to get just right?

hHH theres actually a LOT of scenes like that and i think a lot of my general motivation to keep going comes from that ‘WAIT FOR IT WAIT FOR IT’ vibe slkdf:SDF but the Plot Twist tm in the latest chapter was definitely a big’n, and theres a few more of those still to come :^)

🗝️ - What were you thinking when you wrote it?

kjdjFSDs:DF tbh whenever i start really writing, [’im shifting into soup mode’ seinfeld meme voice] im shifting into maladaptive daydreaming mode

🎥- Were there any tv shows, books, or movies that influenced this verse, if any?

:^) devilman crybaby pls forgive me for everytHing

📈- Was there a clear character arch you wanted____ character to go on?

i actually have a short list of what i somewhat consider to be the story arcs in my notes !! mostly just for organization and obvs i wont list the future ones but so far we’ve seen the kushtaka arc, the enki arc, and now we’re in what i call ‘the annunaki’ arc.

🎢- Were there any scenes you were nervous about? For audience reception or otherwise?

ALL OF IT JSHDJSKD, but again a lot of the enki scenes i was worried would be too edgy TM, and the whole annunaki plot as well i was worried might be too ‘out there’ for ppl, but it takes the story exactly where i always wanted it and lines everything up perfectly so i went for it lol. i was also ofc worried if people would like ila or not bc oc but most ppl love her actually which is so 😭❤️

☠️- Did you consider killing off any of the characters? Did you?

8^) [mickey mouse voice] this is a surprise tool that will help us later ,

✉️- Did you title your chapters? What title do you like best?

yes! the next one actually has my favorite chapter title yet, but so far i like ‘so strikes the harpoon’ since its a throwback to the first couple chapters

☀️- Was there symbolism/motifs you worked in?

o every single paragraph is an overly thought out middle school poem im entering in the talent show actually

🎵- Did you have a playlist/piece of music that went with this story?

Yes !! i have HVH insp part 1, Part 2, and an extra one for all those songs that have the vibes but just dont fit enough to make sense in a playlist

📜-Do you want to write something like this again in the future?

probably ! ive learned i definitely like the edgy/darker and emotionally driven stories with ongoing plot, so that trend will almost definitely continue. idk if ill write a dystopia again anytime soon, but i think my future stuff will at least retain that long and heavy vibe

💁- Did readers influence/change any part of this story?

oh yEA like basically i was ready to quit after the very first chapter before it was even written and kinda just got it all out on a whim of motivation but was expecting to flake on it like i tend to do with projects, but the invested response to it was just so uplifting that its what ive been riding on all ten chapters and im so grateful for it :’)))

✏️-Would you go back and change anything if you could?

hHHHHHHH yes and ok this is terrible but i actually tend to avoid re-reading my older chapters until i hAVe to bc i suffer from that sO much ,,, , its just little things like tiny words i wanna change or bits i wanna take out/put in and once or twice ive even caught a mistake or plot hole/smth i forgot to add that i rly do have to go back and edit and i just turn to dust every tim e

⭐- What’s a scene/paragraph you’re proud of?

i really liked the northern lights scene!! it was meant to be a pivotal moment of that ‘bittersweetness’ vibe i was talking abt and it was another one of those scenes i had been planning for a while;;;

“ I think of how much the rest of the family would love this. This isn’t like the moon and the sun, where I can see it and know that even if it looks different, they’ll see the same one soon enough, wherever they are. This reminds me only that I am not with them. It stings. It seems unnatural for something so gentle and natural to appear before us as if we aren’t in complete, total fucking chaos. After all we’ve been through, and the sky still dances. “

📣-What was the best piece of encouragement you got?

AVERY ALL OF UR LIVEBL OGS AND COMMENTS GIV ME SUCH L I FE, ,, ,, CRYIGN CAT FA ce

🔦-Did you learn anything while writing it? About yourself? Writing?

isdfhSDF YEs, part of my hesitation to write came from this thing where i always just assumed there was a wildly high standard of writing in fandom spaces like in original literature spaces, where you had to have like 10+ sentences to a paragraph and you had to describe every tiny detail of a setting and you had to follow every single grammar rule or it was unreadable but like. genuinely its like sculpting with words as long as you have a shape ppl get the idea which is such a weight off my shoulders lol, its still a lot of work but so much fun to know i can to an extent do what i want and ppl actually like it like that. i also learned that like most other writers i have to cause my favs emotional and physical pain,

🎁- Any writing advice for people who want to write something like this?

hhHHHH 1. please do it its so fun just give in to the edge my guy , 2. try to get comfortable re-reading your chapters, for me its like when ppl listen to themselves sing/act but im trying to do better bc its so much more consistent when i keep it fresh in my mind and it also boosts confidence when u can pick out the things u like instead of the things u dont, 3. trying to have at least one scene in mind for each chapter that ur excited to write so u can have motivation to update faster! for me it doesnt have to be smth i think would excite the audience either like it could be the most basic thing but just having an idea of it and knowing i want to see it come to life rly helps me stay on top of it all

TY SM FRIEND THIS WAS SO FUN x x )

[lilacjaemin]

daisies

pairing: prince!jeno x gender neutral reader

genre: fluffy angst oh yes (plus lil commentaries hehe)

word count: 4.5k

summary: daisies symbolize true love – each daisy is really two flowers blended together in harmony, the center petals are one flower surrounded by the “rays” of another. they mean purity and innocence, one that swears a loyalty to love and a commitment to a shared secrecy. 

a/n: thank you to jeno for being my biggest muse!! oh also thank you to payton for helping me research flowers for this <3

·     royal prince!jeno can’t wait to rule his people and his beautiful kingdom full of flower fields and forests

·     but he can wait a little longer to get married

·     and one night the royal family throws a dinner party and a ball filled with suitors for their son

·     but jeno can’t take the stuffy atmosphere and the hundreds of girls trying to dance with him

·     so he runs off to his favorite spot in his kingdom

·     these rolling hills covered in daisies

·     it’s this pretty valley that nobody else knows about sometimes he goes there when his royal duties are too much and he needs to get away

·     but when he arrives he stumbles across you laying on the hill stargazing, engulfed in the flowers

·     he had no idea anyone else knew about this place

·     he really doesn’t wanna be around any more people tonight but in the dim moonlight he can make out the features of your face

·     he’s never seen you around the castle, and by what you’re wearing you definitely didn’t just run away from the same ball

·     so he carefully approaches and asks if he can join you

·     you sit up, freaked out that someone found this secret spot of yours

·     the figure is in a white button up and a dark blue suit jacket with gold swirls

·     he looks expensive but his eyes are kind

·     so you say okay

·     when he sits down next to you, he smells of many different expensive perfumes, which you find weird

·     you ask what he’s doing out here because by the looks of his dark suit he probably should be at some ball

·     and he says “yeah i should be.”

·     what?

·     and that’s when you notice the gold coronet resting neatly in his hair

·     ohhhhh he’s the prince

·     you’re sitting on the ground with the prince

·     the future king jeno

·     o k a y

·     suddenly jeno thinks he hears something and he’s paranoid of his parents’ royal guards finding him and this spot so he turns to you like did you hear that??

·     and before you could respond, out of nowhere he grabs you?? and dives into the flowers

·     your hands against his chest preventing you from smacking into him

·     he’s pulled you super close, his breathing rapid and eyes closed

·     you’re a little frozen, still in shock the prince just tackled you

·     he waits, realizing he probably just heard a squirrel or something

·     the ~kdrama~ moment happens where he opens his eyes and finds himself staring into yours

·     time stops for a split second, the wind ruffling the grass and daisies surrounding you two

·     and then he regains his composure and helps you up again

·     “are you okay? im so sorry! oh, that was so weird and creepy i just cant get caught out here.”

·     you blink slowly, the surprise wearing off

·     “yeah im totally fine.”

·     well maybe physically, but your heart?? about to beat out of your chest!!

·     jeno reaches his hand out and brushes a strand out of your face, smoothing out the rest of your disheveled hair

·     you swore fire ignited from his fingertips

·     you have to change the subject before you lose it

·     “so…you said you should be at a ball right now?” you clear your throat and brush yourself off

·     “ah, my family is pressing me to find a suitable partner. lately it’s just been dinner after dinner, dance after dance, i hate it.” he sighs, laying back into the hillside

·     “you hate people trying to get your attention?”

·     “i want to marry once i fall in love, not because they would be a good ruler of the kingdom.”

·     “i see.” you whisper, laying down beside him

·     “ i love my family, i love this kingdom and i can’t wait to rule but i wish that one part of my life could be normal. i tried to have the most normal childhood i could manage. i did everything i could to grow up and feel like everyone else, but nobody else has to have arranged marriages, so why do i?”

·     you stay quiet, soaking his words in, watching the moon as jeno continues to your right

·     “love seems incredible. i just wanna experience it for real. i don’t want someone ive only met a handful of times before our wedding, no matter how extravagant the whole thing is. i’ve tried so many times to explain to my parents that i can rule by myself for the time being and then ill find a partner, but they won’t let me.”

·     you listen to his worries, the whole time not realizing that your hand had made its way to rest on jeno’s arm

·     it’s something you do to comfort others, but he turns his head to look at you and you immediately pull away

·     you start apologizing, saying how it’s just a habit you have, but he stops you

·     “no no it’s okay, it feels nice to have someone really listening to me.” he smiles

·     oh his smile is beautiful, it shines brighter than the moon above

·     “i never get to hang out with other people my age and not have a bunch of royalty stuff looming over my head.”

·     you were just in awe that the prince who has it all is unhappy and you feel so bad and just wanna hug him because honestly he’s so cute

·     you listen while he rants about his duties and how stuck up some of the royal advisors are and how every suitor he meets is in it just for the wealth, they don’t really care about the him as a person

·     he asks what your take on it is and you talk about your views on love

·     you’re saying how you think it’s the most beautiful thing and that you’ve seen it in your parents and you want it so badly, but it always feels like all of the people in town don’t want a serious relationship

·     “i want to meet someone that makes every star look pale in comparison. i come out here to look at the night sky and hope that somewhere, the one i’m meant to be with is looking at it too.”

·     and jeno nods

·     he completely understands

·     “my family says i’m crazy for thinking that way. but i work in a library, im surrounded by incredible stories of romance, how can i not hope for one myself?”

·     he’s fascinated at the fact that you can date normally but don’t because you say there’s no one out there

·     jeno assures you there’s people out there, he has to meet with them constantly, he just never gets along with any of them

·     you talk about royal life into the late hours of the night

·     jeno is just so happy to have someone genuinely interested in his thoughts and feelings

·     he’s giddy, ranting about his plans for the kingdom and his goals for the future

·     you don’t know when you drift off, but you remember hearing his warm voice fade away

·     and you fall asleep on his shoulder

·     jeno doesn’t remember when he drifts off, but he remembers feeling your warmth at his side

·     when he wakes up at sunrise, jeno is like oh i‘m so dead they’re never gonna let me out of the castle ever again !!

·     but he looks at you, sleeping peacefully against him with daisies framing your face

·     he feels his heart do a backflip

·     is this how it’s supposed to feel? there’s not supposed to be a sense of dread pooling in his stomach like there is when a suitor walks in? interesting

·     gently waking you up, he tells you he has to run to get back to the castle

·     but he promises you he’ll do everything he can to come back to this spot to meet you and stargaze again

·     “i’ll be here.” you say sleepily, smiling at his messy hair

·     when he gets home his parents are like oh you are in so much trouble we threw that ball for you and you LEFT?? AND WE SEARCHED ALL OVER AND COULDNT FIND YOU?? WE THOUGHT YOU WERE KIDNAPPED??

·     and jeno is like um. oops? trying to contain his smile when he thinks of you and your soft hand on his arm

·     he gets read the riot act and is told if it happens again there will be serious consequences

·     and jeno never gets in trouble so this is big

·     but he’s willing to take the risk

·     for weeks he sneaks out and runs to the field each and every night

·     finding more reasons to love being in your company than there are stars in the sky

·     one night before dawn broke you stopped playing with the hem of your shirt

·     “i was thinking about what you told me the first night we met.” you say, eyes glued to the ground

·     “i know you’ll find somebody, and not just because you’re a prince. you will find someone who loves you for your heart, not just the riches.”

·     he stares at you, something in his eyes you couldn’t quite pin

·     jeno was glad it was dark, if not you would’ve seen the red dusting on his cheeks

·     “y-you’ll find someone too. i know it.”

·     its quiet for a minute and then very subtly, jeno grabs your hand

·     “is this okay?”

·     “of course it is. now can you tell me about the secret royal garden? i heard its incredible.”

·     you lay on your side and spend the rest of the night finding the stars in his eyes

·     another dinner is scheduled, this time with the family of a neighboring kingdom

·     this family has a daughter the same age as jeno

·     he knows in his gut that his parents want him to be with her

·     but he can’t shake the feeling of your hands in his

·     it’s where they belong

·     nevertheless, he fake smiles through the meal, tensing when she tries to reach for his arm across the table

·     after the disaster of a dinner, jeno sneaks away again

·     you can tell by the look on his face that he needs a hug

·     “i don’t want to be with her.” he breathes into your neck

·     “you’re sure you can’t talk to your parents about this?” you say, running your hand through his dark hair

·     “they don’t listen. i’ve tried, they just won’t listen.”

·     you hold him close, wracking your brain for a solution to this problem

·     but there seems to be none

·     jeno creeps back to the castle after spending the whole night wrapped in your arms

·     but the queen is waiting for him in his chamber when he opens the door

·     he’s banned from leaving the castle without supervision until he gets married

·     he’s never sent out unless it’s with a guard

·     he’s devastated and frustrated because he wants to sneak away to you but someone is always watching

·     he feels like he lost the one person who understood him the most

·     one day he goes into the castle library in an effort to get some peace

·     to his surprise, you are working in the front

·     you hear a gasp and when you look up jeno stands before you

·     “this library? you work in the castle and never told me!?”

·     “no, the town’s library is overstaffed because of the summer, so i took the job opening here. i always waited for you to come in and find out, but i guess you don’t use the library as much as i imagined.” you laugh

·     your heart is beating like crazy seeing him again

·     you bring him to your favorite little poetry corner, out of view of the entrance

·     huddled in amongst the books he takes hold of your hands

·     you can see him visibly relax when he feels your palms against his

·     “im so sorry, i tried so hard to go meet you but they have guards on me at all times. they won’t let me out of their sight.” he looks frantic

·     “jeno, i’ll wait however long it takes to be together. i still go to our spot every night, i still wait for you. i always will.” you reassure him

·     his brows unfurrow and he smiles, pulling you close to his chest

·     his heartbeat is soothing against your cheek and you realize just how much you missed him

·     “oh, i have something for you.” you reach into the last of the shelves, pulling out a thick worn book

·     he watches in confusion as you open to a page in the center

·     “here, i pressed these for you. for the nights when you can’t come visit, just know i’m there.” you show him two dry daisies, careful not to blow them away

·     his face lights up, gently taking the book from you and running a finger over their stems

·     he’s about to thank you when you hear someone call for him from the door

·     he frowns and shuts the book, tucking it under his arm

·     he presses a soft kiss to your forehead before scurrying off, leaving your skin burning and your mind dizzy

·     jeno’s parents are sure the princess from the neighboring kingdom is the one

·     and jeno can feel his stomach drop to his feet when they tell him

·     desperate to get to you, he tricks his guards into getting him something from the other side of the castle

·     he shimmies down his balcony and runs as fast as his legs can take him to the field before they can send search parties out for him

·     he grabs you by your shoulders and frantically tells you that they’re arranging his marriage

·     but it’s not what he wants, he can’t stop thinking about you

·     “jeno.” you whisper, pointing behind him

·     you see lanterns come over the hill and horses trample over the flowers

·     jeno stands in front of you to protect you but guards pull him away

·     he’s yelling at them to stop but they’re angry

·     you feel like you can’t breathe

·     one of the advisors recognizes you from the library and tells you never to come back to the castle

·     you stand and watch with teary eyes as jeno is dragged away and the candles fade into the night

·     a few weeks go by and you get word that the prince is betrothed to marry the princess and you’re absolutely heartbroken

·     you know jeno doesn’t want that

·     and even if it isn’t you that gets to be with him, you still want him to be happy

·     out of a job, you ask a family friend who works as a florist to hire you

·     “of course! we need all the help we can get for this wedding!”

·     oh no

·     your heart breaks even more but your family needs the money

·     you arrive a few days before to set up the decor and pray the the guards from that night don’t recognize you

·     and as much as it hurts, you hope you don’t run into jeno

·     but to your dismay he walks in with the princess and you feel your world collapse

·     you meet his gaze while they check on the ballroom’s set up and you can see the light behind his eyes go dim

·     suddenly he yells “NO! THIS IS ALL WRONG! WE NEED TO HAVE A MEETING TO DISCUSS THE DECOR IMMEDIATELY!”

·     he finds a way to break away from the princess just for a second and whispers to meet him at a different spot tonight

·     he says it’s under the willow tree at the edge of the forest by the stream and you nod

·     “the flower arrangements around the altar are hideous.” he goes back to frowning, trying his hardest not to steal glances at you anymore

·     you are sure there’s no way he could get away again but lo and behold you hear footsteps approaching

·     you run into jeno’s arms, worried this would be the last time you could ever hold him

·     he cups your cheeks, staring into your eyes

·     “we don’t have much time but i promise i’m not marrying her. we’ll figure something out, we’ll run away together, we’ll do something, but i promise i am not marrying her.”

·     he tries to assure you it’ll all be okay and he’s so certain it will be that you begin to believe him

·     but you hear footsteps again

·     lots of them

·     and you and jeno can hardly see because of the tears in both your eyes but you can hear the impending doom

·     there aren’t even words to say to each other, its over

·     it’s all over now

·     he kisses your forehead, then your cheek, letting his lips linger against your skin

·     jeno is ripped from your arms and both of you are taken back to the castle

·     they throw you in the dungeon and tell you that you’re going to have a meeting with the king and queen in the morning

·     you sit on the cold stone floor and cry into your palms, desperately trying to remember how jeno’s lips felt on your face

·     the next day you’re led out in shackles

·     you sit in front of the royals and the queen is furious

·     she’s yelling how dare you try and ruin her kingdom by getting in the way of her son’s relationship, how dare you still try and meet with him after everything that’s happened

·     she’s close to banishing you from the kingdom entirely when jeno runs in, “don’t you understand? im in love with them!” 

·     jeno loves you

·     “would you rather the kingdom be run by a miserable king or a happy one?” he’s crying and you want nothing more than to wipe his tears away but the shackles keep you planted to the ground

·     you’re exhausted and cold and sad and hungry and you have no fight left in you

·     the queen can’t believe what she’s hearing

·     “you would put your future people in danger for this peasant?”

·     “i would rather give up the throne entirely than marry that princess.”

·     “how could you say that? i didn’t raise you this way! i raised you to be a selfless leader!”

·     “how could you expect me to lead these people well if im unhappy?”

·     she pauses momentarily, a softness seeping into her eyes, but it quickly fades when she looks back at you

·     the queen is still fuming

·     “we’re going ahead with the arranged marriage and that’s final, jeno.”

·     she turns to you and tells you after you’re done helping with the wedding you’re never going to see jeno ever again

·     he cries out, running to kneel in front of you and taking your face in his hands

·     “jeno,” you say weakly, “its okay. i hope you can find happiness.” you try to smile for him but everything hurts

·     his mother watches the sad scene unfold in front of her with a tightlipped expression

·     “and i love you too, moonlight.” you whisper

·     he laughs bitterly, tears falling onto your heavy arms

·     he leans forward to kiss you

·     but his guards grab him and take him away before his lips reach yours

·     he yells your name all the way down the hall, kicking and thrashing to try and break free

·     you hang your head in sadness and feel a sob wrack through your body

·     its over

·     the day of the wedding arrives and you solemnly finish the bouquet for the bride

·     you fill it with orange mock flowers (they represent deceit) quickly hiding the daisies they had brought for it instead

·     you try to find someone to deliver it to her but everyone is bustling around trying to add the final touches

·     you trudge to her chamber and knock, hoping to place the flowers down and leave as soon as possible

·     but she invites you inside and you dig your nails in your palms to keep it together

·     she’s pretty, but from what jeno has told you about her the only thing she cares about is power

·     “so i heard you’re the one who tried to break us up.” she says through an unnerving smile

·     you stay silent

·     “its such a shame really. jeno is really torn up over you. he’s too sad to think straight. he sits in bed with this old poetry book, but he never turns the page. i think he’s gone crazy, he doesn’t even speak! but i won’t need him for much longer. once i’m in line for the throne i won’t even need to look at him.” she twirls her finger around the center of the bouquet

·     “and when i’m queen, you’ll be banished. it’s a win win!” she laughs, brushing past you to leave, “oh, and do stay for the wedding. i wanna make sure you see this.” you can hear the venom laced in her words

·     your hands are numb, four dark crescents in each palm

·     jeno stands at the altar in his dark blue suit, the same from the night you met him

·     he’s pale, rings of purple under his eyes, his hands in fists, a daisy in his pocket, you can tell he’s biting his cheek

·     you stand behind the tall vase at the back of the ballroom, peeking through the flowers

·     the music begins and in walks the princess, and jeno has never looked unhappier in his life

·     he’s barely holding her hands, nothing like the way he held yours

·     the priest asks if he takes this woman to be his lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, for as long as they both shall live

·     you hold your breath

·     it’s silent

·     the princess is smiling, but if looks could kill jeno would’ve been struck down immediately

·     “jeno?”

·     silence

·     a tear rolls down his face and you can see his body visibly shake

·     “no.” he says as firmly as he can

·     the crowd gasps

·     he drops her hands and begins to walk off when the king comes up next to him

·     “you better get back up there right now and finish this.”

·     “no.”

·     “what did you just say?”

·     “i said no, i’m saying no, i’ve been saying no. ever since i was little i’ve thought about what it would be like when i fell in love for the first time. i’d see the way you looked at mom and i thought i can’t wait for the day where i love someone so much i look at them the same way. and funny enough i did find that love. i fell in love in a field of flowers with someone who is more beautiful inside and out than the moon and all the stars combined. i finally found the prettiest flower of them all and i won’t stop fighting for them.”

·     he pauses and turns to look at his dad

·     “i know im going against your word, but you always told me a good king was one who finds strength in those around him, one who grows and rules to the best of his ability, and i’m the strongest when i’m with them, dad.”

·     he turns to the crowd, desperation dripping off his words

·     “i want to be a ruler you’re all proud of, but what kind of king would i be if i didn’t fight for what i want most?”

·     you didn’t realize you were crying until your tears ran down your neck

·     the queen stands up and you fear the worst for both you and jeno

·     “you really love them? you love them this much?”

·     “mother, i’ve always wanted true love. you know that. and i can’t see myself with anyone else.”

·     the princess is throwing daggers with her eyes behind them

·     the queen pauses for a moment and without turning around she says “come up here.”

·     you hesitantly walk up the aisle in your raggedy work clothes, your heartbeat pounding between your ears at all the eyes on you

·     jeno gasps “you were still here?”

·     “in no way are you ready to become royalty let alone a ruler, but i’ve never seen jeno stand up to us like this before, and i must admit it hurt my heart to not be able to give him the true love he wished for all these years. it’s not that i didn’t want him to experience it, i just wanted him to have the best partner for ruling over his people. but i think i caused more harm than good in doing so. you seem to really love him, and that’s all a mother could ever want for her child. if you promise to take all of the classes and lessons you need and work extremely hard to learn about this kingdom and what’s best for it, i’ll agree to you dating him. if you meet my husband’s and my approval, then maybe we can discuss marriage.”

·     “what!? absolutely not!” the princess stomps her foot “i’m supposed to be queen!”

·     “you never cared about my son anyway. get in your carriage and go back to your kingdom.” the king hisses

·     she throws her bouquet to the ground and storms out

·     both you and jeno are speechless, silent tears rolling down your faces

·     you thank the queen endlessly, promising to do whatever it takes

·     you cling on to him, trying not to collapse to the floor

·     “i almost lost you.” you say into the fabric of his suit

·     “never.” he mumbles into your hair

·     you walk hand in hand, fingers intertwined, back to your field

·     you lay down in the flowers and never let go of each other

·     tears wiped away with kisses

·     fingertips tracing the shape of your mouth

·     as the stars begin to poke out of the sky jeno connects your lips

·     it isn’t until the sun peeks up over the hill that he pulls away

·     and a year to the day you first met the prince in the valley, you stand in the same place, amongst the same daisies, under the same stars, reciting vows to each other’s teary eyes

[gimmeeshelter]

hi babe I wanna talk music with u. tell me what you think is the decade defining album(s) of the 60s-80s and why? x

oh prepare for a long-ish ask. I think the 70′s and 80′s it’s kind of clear what albums were decade-defining but the 60′s really was when music made its largest shift ? if that makes sense my brain is fried from after writing this paper lol 

1960s

1. The Velvet Underground & Nico// The Velvet Underground

- Even though i hardly talk about the velvet undergound on my blog i am incredibly fond of this band. i think their sound brought something totally different to the music scene at the time, and the warhol influence fused music and art into an incredible union. i think the velvet underground is like the band of the art rock scene, with just a touch of mod? they’re incredible. 

2. Revolver// The Beatles

- In my opinion, Revolver is the best beatles album like its a banger from start to finish (except yellow submarine fuck that) I feel like this album has a really good balance between their original sound, while also adding so many different elements its just a really interesting album to me. I think this album is a really good example of the progression of rock throughout the 60s, especially compared to their earlier albums

3. Highway 61 Revisited// Bob Dylan

- okay i really could’ve put any dylan album on here from the 60s because theyre all so good and i think they all made such an influence on folk/rock music. his songwriting is literally indescribable (i know i dont need to tell you this). I picked highway 61 because it’s my favorite at the moment (from the 60s, my favorite dylan album is desire) I also think this shows the versatility of dylan i dunno ? Similar to revolver, highway 61 encapsulates the changing tides of the music scene in the 60s

4. Let It Bleed// The Rolling Stones

- oh my FUCK when i thnk of the 60s i think of this album almost immediately. It’s not my all time favorite stones album but god its up there. opening with such an apocolyptic song like gimme shelter ? bold ass move and im glad they did it. That song literally is a beacon for the end of the 60s, especially when you look back at all the crazy ass shit that happened in 69. That song sends fucking chills through my spine. And the end of the album with you cant always get what you want, i think the album starts with some deep, kind of menacing song but ends with this shining light? i dunno how to explain what im trying to say i hope you understand what im saying. I think everyone near the end of the 60s needed that shining light, and let it bleed is symbolic of that. 

5. Are You Experienced// The Jimi Hendrix Experience 

- Jimi Hendrix was one of the first artists to capatalize off of guitar based music (if that makes sense this is getting really long and im starting to ramble). I’m not saying he was the first person to have cool guitar solos or do any intricate playing (he low key was though) but he really revolutionized the way rock music was being played at the time and was one of the game changers. I firmly believe that without him and the music he made, music of the late 60′s and even 70s wouldnt have been what it was. 

6. Led Zeppelin II// Led Zeppelin

- okay im really torn between putting this album on the list. Because when I think of Zeppelin i don’t really think of the 60s because they are The band of the 70s ya know ? I was tempted to put this album in the 70s section of this ask but i feel like people would give me flack for that. I think this album really shows where music was heading going into the 70s. They pioneered that hard rock sound ya know ? I think this album, like let it bleed, is a good indicator for where music was heading. also cant forget about the wack ass lyrics that are in that album, talking about balls and shit how Foul. 

1970s

1. All Things Must Pass// George Harrison 

- if u really thought we weren’t gonna talk abt my fucking baby ur mistaken :((((((. I think this album is such a good example of music in the early 70s, still clinging to a bit of that 60s, peace and love vibe while also making a rock record. I guess the two biggest examples of that would be something like I dig love anf then comparing that to out of the blue. Its definitely got that 60s flare but there’s so much more depth ya know ? george is the best pls block me if u think otherwise bc ur crusty 

2. Dark Side of The Moon// Pink Floyd

- yes. i know this ablum is basic. but its still a good representation of music that defined the 70s. Floyd was the biggest success with the whole psychedelic rock thing, they made it enjoyable for everyone and i think that can be seen in dsotm. 

3. IV// Led Zeppelin

- You know why.

4. Talking Book// Stevie Wonder

- was tempted to put songs in the key of life but… i like talking book better lol. Any of his albums made in the 70s could be considered decade defining albums. Mans got incredible talent, and his lyrics spoke to a wide variety of people i think ? also the combination of funk and soul that hes famous for can later be seen in disco music. I think his music in general just speaks to a lot of people, and a lot of musicians take inspiration from him

5. Rumours// Stevie Nicks

- im gonna be up front with this one, everyone fuck with stevie and i bet u dont know anyone who doesnt like dreams or the chain. shit slaps what else can i say 

6. The Eagles// The Eagles

- The eagles are like the poster child for american rock (more specifically, west coast rock), which became popular in the 70s. I dunno when i think of the 70s i think of driving down the highway and when i think of driving down the highway i think of the eagles, its just common knowledge 

7. London Calling// The Clash

- similar to my problems with putting zeppelin ii in the 60s category, i thnk london calling really belongs in the 80s section maybe ? actually no, i think this album is a good synopsis of the punk movement that started in the mid/late 70s and then carried into the 80s 

1980′s

time for the sad boissssss

1. The Smiths// The Smiths

- god this melancholy fucker. personally this is my favorite smiths album, you could argue that the queen is dead is more impactful and youre probably right. But i think their first album brings the sadness to the forefront ya know ? like they were one of the first sad boi bands and i respect that shit. Also think this album is like the poster child for a sad teenager in the 80s, and god knows there were a lot of those weirdos. 

2. Purple Rain// Prince

- personally… controversy is my favorite prince album but we wont discuss. This album is so widely popular i grew up on this shit. like every song on it is a banger and defintely splits the line between pop and rock, something we see a lot when looking into music from the 80s 

3. Like A Virgin// Madonna 

- madonna was the first pop princess idc this album is like 80s pop defined. shes amazing, this album is amazing, what else can i say? im right :)

ive been typing for a long time im sorry im gonna end this now i hope this is good enough :( luv u and i hope u enjoyed my thoughts. also i cut a lot of albums out bc i didnt want to make it too long but :((((( okay bye

[greymuse]

Witchy QnA

1. Are you solitary or in a coven?

Solitary!

2. Do you consider yourself Wiccan, Pagan, witch, or other?

Witch, or Enchantress if I wanna sound fancy

3. What is your zodiac sign?

Leo sun, Aquarius moon, Leo rising

4. Do you have a Patron God/dess?

Nope

5. Do you work with a Pantheon?

Nope

6. Do you use tarot, palmistry, or any other kind of divination?

Tarot sometimes

7. What are some of your favorite herbs to use in your practice? (if any)

Im just starting to get into more physical items. I was raised to do most things mentally.

8. How would you define your craft?

Im not sure? Green but a lil eclectic

9. Do you curse? If not, do you accept others who do?

I dont think of it as cursing. More so protection from certain people.

10. How long have you been practicing?

I found out about what I was already doing as being Witchcraft a couple months ago. But Ive been using Tarot, using kitchen Witch spells, as “prayers” as spells since I can remember

11. Do you currently or have you ever had any familiars?

Nope. I hope to have one soon though

12. Do you believe in Karma or
Reincarnation?

Absolutely believe in karma. Reincarnation, possibly. Its definitely something I think about

13. Do you have a magical name?

Nope.

14. Are you “out of the broom closet”?

My whole moms side practices casually, so I mean I guess? But I havent referred to  myself as a Witch or something like that.

15. What was the last spell you performed?

I enchanted a ring I got. Also, a money spell that worked but uhh its definitely showing me that I need to work harder.

16. Would you consider yourself knowledgeable?

Im pretty decent. Most of what I look up is common knowledge to me

17. Do you write your own spells?

I havent yet, but I also dont do many spells verbally. I more so visually manifest

18. Do you have a book of shadows? If so, how is it written and/or set up?

I do, Its just a plain lil notebook, I have just some basic reference sheet type things in it.

19. Do you worship nature?

Absolutely

20. What is your favorite gemstone?

rose quartz. or tigers eye

21. Do you use feathers, claws, fur, pelt, skeletons/bones, or any other animal body part for magical work?

I dont particularly enjoy using animal/ human materials. I use natural things, like dirt and water.

  22. Do you have an altar?

Not so much a physical Altar, but my bed is definitely my safe space and I can clear my mind here the easiest.

23. What is your preferred element?

Water, but fire always make me wide eyed and curious. definitely curious. but its destructive potential scares me.

24. Do you consider yourself an Alchemist?

Not art all haha

25. Are you any other type of magical practitioner besides a witch?

Im not sure!

26. What got you interested in witchcraft?

realizing that I had been practicing for my whole life and I hadnt known before

27. Have you ever performed a spell or ritual with the company of anyone who was not a witch?

yeah, with my mom and her mom. I just didnt know at the time. We do protection spells often.

28. Have you ever used ouija?

yup! with my mom and her mom. Its just a family thing we do every time we all get together. I grew up thinking it was completely normal.

29. Do you consider yourself a psychic?

My mom says I used to be. I used to dream about natural disasters before they happened as a kid. I dont think im too good anymore. just empathetic.

30. Do you have a spirit guide? If so, what is it?

I dont think I do. If anything, I do feel a feminine energy? dark (like a shadow, not negative) and watery is the best way I can describe it. But its not a human  entity. Just energy.

31. What is something you wish someone had told you when you first started?

That not everyone believes what you do. And its totally okay! Just maybe dont loudly announce your Ouija board antics with your science teacher in middle school.

32. Do you celebrate the Sabbats? If so which one is your favorite?

I havent before, but im going to try to this year

33. Would you ever teach witchcraft to your children?

Absolutely. I want my son to grow up the same way I did around magick. Itll be normal for him.

34. Do you meditate?

Sometimes! its definitely something im trying to do more often.

35. What is your favorite season?

Fall and Spring! Theres so much change

36. What is your favorite type of magick to preform?

Im not sure yet! Ive only just started branching out and actually considering what ive been doing all my life as magick.

37. How do you incorporate your spirituality into your daily life?

Daily affirmations/ protection spells, I manifest me and my sons happiness and safety every day.

38. What is your favorite witchy movie?

I dont think Ive seen any haha

39. What is your favorite witchy book, both fiction and non-fiction. Why?

The Darkest Powers books by Kelly Armstrong. More supernatural (vampires, werewolves, stuff like that) but I loved it growing up.

40. What is the first spell you ever preformed? Successful or not.

Knowingly, a protection spell from someone who had hurt me

41. What’s the craziest witchcraft-related thing that’s happened to you?

Im not sure! I can see auras if i really focus and can tune into someone, so maybe when i saw a family member with a pure black aura? That was freaky

42. What is your favourite type of candle to use?

I dont use candles! Bonfires or fires in fireplaces usually, to burn a paper if needed. Again, I dont  trust myself with fire very much.

43. What is your favorite witchy tool?

My crystals and my tarot. They all have vibrations. Everything does but especially those, because im so connected to them

44. Do you or have you ever made your own witchy tools?

I want to!  Havent yet

45. Have you ever worked with any magical creatures such as the fea or spirits?

Spirits, yes. I can call on family that Ive known in person for protection. Been doing that as long as i can remember

46. Do you practice color magic?

I used to! i dont really anymore. 

47. Do you or have you ever had a witchy teacher or mentor of any kind?

My mom, aunt, and grandma! 

48. What is your preferred way of shopping for witchcraft supplies?

Dollar store, thrift store, antique stores (though im always hesitant to use something that belonged to someone else. If there isnt a close emotional attachment, there wont be any noticeable vibrations.

49. Do you believe in predestination or fate?

I think theres a general way that things can happen. More like a decide your fate book. There are multiple options, it just depends on what you choose.

50. What do you do to reconnect when you are feeling out of touch with your practice?

Meditate, or go to the lake.

51. Have you ever had any supernatural experiences?

ohhhh boy. I got stories.

52. What is your biggest witchy pet peeve?

People thinking theyre better bc they have a crap ton of materials, thinking im less than because I visualize easier than with material items.

53. Do you like incense? If so what’s your favorite scent?

I do, I just cant very often. I have a child and very smell sensitive people livingg with me

54. Do you keep a dream journal of any kind?

I rarely ever remember a dream, so no

55. What has been your biggest witchcraft disaster?

Im not sure ive had one yet

56. What has been your biggest witchcraft success?

I havent seen who i dont want to see since protecting myself

57. What in your practice do you do that you may feel silly or embarrassed about?

 Everything, haha. I think thats why I enjoy visualizing instead of rituals or verbal stuff.

58. Do you believe that you can be an atheist, Christian, Muslim or some other faith and still be a witch too?

Absolutely!

59. Do you ever feel insecure, unsure or even scared of spell work?

yes, I feel like it //can be// kinda like a genie in a bottle type thing. Itll work, but not without a price.

60. Do you ever hold yourself to a standard in your witchcraft that you feel you may never obtain?

Nope

61. What is something witch related that you want right now?

A cauldron to mix and burn things in haha

62. What is your rune of choice?

I dont know yet! Runes are something Im looking into

63. What is your tarot card of choice?

My birth card, the Tower.

64. Do you use essential oils? If so what is your favorite?

I love lemon and eucalyptus 

65. Have you ever taken any kind of witchcraft or pagan courses?

nope!

66. Do you wear pagan jewelry in public?

Nope

67. Have you ever been discriminated against because of your faith or being a witch?

No one that would feel that way knows anything about it

68. Do you read or subscribe to any pagan magazines?

nope

69. Do you think it’s important to know the history of paganism and witchcraft?

Yes. Its like knowing world history and us history, We need to learn from the past.

70. What are your favorite things about being a witch?

I feel powerful, and connected and accepted by nature.

71. What are your least favorite things about being a witch?

having to tiptoe around things around certain people

72. Do you listen to any pagan music? If so who is your favorite singer/band?

Nope! ill have to look into it

73. Do you celebrate the Esbbats? If so, how?

I havent fully figured out what i want to do for the moon cycles yet, but I definitely want to. the moon and water are so closely related

74. Do you ever work skyclad?

No, but i mean.. maybe one day?

75. Do you think witchcraft has improved your life? If so, how?

I feel like i have more control of how im able to use my emotions and feelings

76. Where do you draw inspiration from for your practice?

The energy i talked about before.. It gets more intense and stronger sometimes, and i know i need to put more time and effort into my practice

77. Do you believe in ‘fantasy’ creatures? (Unicorns, fairies, elves, gnomes, ghosts, etc)

no, but i do believe in energy. not ghosts per say but definitely energy

78. What’s your favorite sigil/symbol?

I try to make most of them myself. I have one for protection while driving that i use for me and my boyfriend a lot. And one for the safety of my son.

79. Do you use blood magick in your practice? Why or why not?

Not as of right now. I did bleed onto my tarot cards on accident though..

80. Could you ever be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t support your practice?

Theres a difference  between “doesnt understand and doesnt care to” and “fully doest support and refuses to let you practice safely”. I dont mind the first, but wouldnt stay with the second.

81. In what area or subject would you most like your craft to grow?

Reading auras, and tarot. Also just connecting with nature more

82. What’s your favorite candle scent? Do you use it in your practice?

I love fall scents! but no, i dont really use candles

83. Do you have a pre-ritual ritual? (I.e. Something you do before rituals to prepare yourself for them). If so what is it?

Meditate and protect

84. What real life witch most inspires your practice?

My mom honestly lmao. i dont think she views herself as a full witch though.And my aunt

85. What is your favorite method of communicating with deity?

I dont worship dieties. But i like to just be in natural and connect emotionally, nonverbally to this energy Im somehow connected with.

86. How do you like to organize all your witchy items and ingredients?

In this lil wooden box my mom gave me for my birthday to hold the tarot cards my grandma gave me haha.

87. Do you have any witches in your family that you know of?

my mom. aunt, and grandma. I know my grandpas grandma was a voodoo witch too.

  88. How have you created your path? What is unique about it?

I havent seen much about nonverbal, mostly mental witchcraft. So i guess  thats one unique thing.

89. Do you feel you have any natural gifts or affinities (premonitions, hearing spirits, etc.) that led you toward the craft? If so what are they?

A couple things. Feeling vibrations, the connection to nature, auras, growing up surrounded by it.

90. Do you believe you can initiate yourself or do you have to be initiated by another witch or coven?

I believe you can initiate yourself. I dont feel the need for someone elses validation is i know my connection with nature is real

91. When you first started out in your path what was the first thing or things you bought?

crystals, lmao

92. What is the most spiritual or magickal place you’ve been?

The southern oregon coast. honestly everywhere in oregon feels so alive and vibrating so heavily with energy. The water and the lush greenery is perfection.

93. What’s one piece of advice you’d give someone who is searching for their matron and patron deities?

I have no idea, I dont follow a deity

94. What techniques do you use to ‘get in the zone’ for meditation?

quiet, listen to music i like and that help calm me, slightly cool, a breeze is good. the sound of real water flowing from a lake or ocean. recordings of water dont help me. sometimes white noise if theres too much noise

95. Did visualization come easily to you or did you have to practice at it?

visualization is the easiest thing for me. ive always daydreamed so heavily that itll be like im dreaming with my eyes totally open and tracking. 

  96. Do you prefer day or night? Why?

early mornings, right as the sun is coming up.

97. What do you think is the best time and place to do spell work?

I like doing spell work before bed, when the moon is bright enough to light up what im doing

98. How did you feel when you cast your first circle? Did you stumble or did it go smoothly?

I dont know if it counts as casting a circle? but i visualize a swirling white ball of energy, starting out like a strawberry size in my hands, and every time i breath in, it gets bigger. Its a protection circle. i learned to do it at like?? 3 years old?

99. Do you believe witchcraft gets easier with time and practice?

Yup!

100. Do you believe in many gods or one God with many faces?

If i had to guess, id say multiple gods/ goddesses. one entity shouldnt have that much power imo.

101. Do you eat meat, eggs and dairy?

Ive been trying to go vegetarian, and i eat minimal eggs and dairy.

102. What is your favorite color and why?

dark, smokey colors. grey, black, dark muted purples, navy, smoky pink.

103. What is the one question you get asked most by non-practitioners or non-pagans? How do you usually respond?

I dont have many people im even slightly into that stuff, let alone a witch. So usually just “how do i cleanse my house? i think its haunted” type stuff

104. Which of your five senses would you say is your strongest?

Feel, haha, physically and emotionally.

105. What is a pagan or witchcraft rule that you preach but don’t practice?

Always properly cleanse new materials, haha

[maggotmouth]

        hi i’m nora ( 23. gmt. she/her ) and it turns out i really miss playing bridget ! i wasn’t feeling frida bt i wanted to explore som of her backstory more so ive kind of fused bits of her into bridget..... sue me.... for those of u who didn’t know her before i dropped her, bridget grew up in a trailer park in texas, she’s an angsty socialist leftie who gets fucked at the pub and goes off on one about capitalism.  film nerd. got in on a partially subsidised scholarship and works in a bar and a fast food place to pay for her accomodation. here’s a pinboard !! everythin else is below this cut, like this post n i’ll (probably forget to) smash that im button for plots x

application template.

( cis-female ) haven’t seen BRIDGET MATUSIAK around in a while. the MARGARET QUALLEY lookalike has been known to be GARRULOUS & CANDID, but SHE can also be FICKLE & ERRATIC. The 21 year old is a JUNIOR majoring in FILM. I believe they’re living in AUDAX but I popped by earlier and no one answered the door.

aesthetics.

thumb holes poked through the cuffs of your sleeves, roller blades, grazed knees, not eating your greens, smiling with a mouthful of blood, sleeping in a cherry lip balm and scrunchies to keep the wild locks from your eyes. piercing your own ears with a safety pin when your dad wouldn’t take you.

connection to tatiana & did they choose her name during the watershed?

knew each other from the cheer team in bridgets freshman year and tatiana’s sophomore year. had a competitive friendship to start with but then they got into a discussion about politics at a party one night, and maybe hooked up a few times after tatiana had jst broken up w someone. they were sort of seeing each other very casually for a bit, but…. they came from vastly different circles n it didn’t really work. they were in a bad partch at the time of the reaping so to speak, and bridget picked her name For A Giggle but now regrets it big time obviously

tw drugs, teen pregnancy

BACKSTORY TIME.. her mother was from the wrong side of the tracks, was chucked out of home pretty young after a teenage pregnancy, wanted 2 go to art school and started working as an erotic dancer to pay for college but then jst…. ended up staying there. one of those girls u see in the documentaries who had Big Plans but ultimately never got to pursue them n jst got…. sucked in by the money 

her mom n dad met in high school at a parents evening. alice was fourteen, toby was thirty-one. bridget’s mom alice was a roman catholic – uneducated in matters of safe sex, mother mary around her neck, bras hanging over wooden crucifixes – and willing to give it to the first boy who seemed interested enough, gift-wrapped or not. toby was the father to a girl down the road who alice knew nothing of besides her name and the few encounters in the corridors facing a stoney stare that screamed homewrecker. it only happened once, but once was enough. alice was out of the house as soon as her parents knew a child was growing in her womb.

bridget n her mum alice were more like sisters growing up, probably because of the closeness in age. alice should’ve known that you couldn’t have a thirteen-year-old-daughter at 27 without everyone knowing you’d been one of those girls who gave it away fast as a hot potato, and maybe bridget should have known that she’d inherit more than her mother’s wide eyes, that things have a way of circling back to us --- that at fourteen she too would lose it on the floor of a swimming pool changing room, soggy back, polka-dot nylon of a swimsuit pulled down to her ankles.

she grew up in a trailer park just outside of orlando resort, but she was raised in dressing rooms surrounded by sparkly costumes and nipple pasties and leotards and the like. as a kid she’d try to trot about in her moms heels n yearned for the day she’d be able to be on stage. 

if you’ve seen the florida project its a bit like tht.... just kids left to do their own shit.... mother’s a bit all over the place... made money by stealing wristbands off orlando theme park visitors, and bridget was p much raised by the community, to be honest. most of her youth was spent scurrying about half naked in cowboy boots and glasses too big for her face. a smol feral child

gilly (referred to as junior) was born four years after bridget, the son of a carpenter and sculpture artist named gilbert “gilly” senior, her moms latest squeeze. whenever she wasn’t at school bridget would be in gilly’s workshop doin her homework surrounded by parts of furniture or hanging out with the kids who were visiting disneyland but couldn’t afford the hotels on the resort

like her mother, bridget fell pregnant barely out of her gingham print dresses, hair in two plaits down her back, teddies still lining her bed. unlike her mum, she was not box-shipped out to a home for fallen women but rather booked into a clinic, given a pill, just like taking your vitamins.

her mother flaked out when bridget was around fifteen and junior was eleven. they were in the system for a while, before gilly was finally granted custody as legal guardian. the three of them moved to marfa, texas so that gilly could run classes in sculpture and woodworking at the art institute. they’re not sure where their mother went. some say she rededicated herself as a virgin and joined the convent in penance for her sins. some say she works in a las vegas strip club and sells pills to minors. bridget likes to believe that she’s an actress, her name in newspapers and her face in a star-spangled dressing mirror.

bridget used to do sponsored silences and hunger strikes for kids in developing countries. was that kid in school who was always raising money something. i mean its kinda cute but also she just wanted the acclaim and attention so…. and most of the time it didn’t even make it to the disadvantaged kids she was raising it for cos her mom needed rent money or to buy the kids new shoes n they could barely afford much themselves

she’s a strident feminist, an activist for human rights and animal rights, a vocal vegetarian and an all-round soapbox sadie. catch her in the quad shouting about human rights through a megaphone. will most definitely have quizzed your character on institutionalised racism whilst inhaling nos at a party and snacking on a big bowl of cheesy wotsits

aesthetic: big military or leather jackets over tiny little sundresses. always in docs or creepers and a beret with an anarchist symbol painted on it. wears a long green trench coat covered in badges for alt punk rock bands or a red denim jacket that she hacked into a crop jacket with a pair of kitchen scissors. cuffed jeans, thrifted or stolen. white converse, more grey tbh through years of wear. crop tops and plaid shirts tied round her waist. smudged mascara. glitter smeared over cheekbones from the previous night. cigarette smoke shrouding you like a veil, the red string of a thong peaking out purposely from jeans, piercing your own ears with a safety pin when your dad wouldn’t take you, kate moss posters lining the walls of a teenage bedroom, thumb holes poked through the cuffs of your sleeves, feet pounding the earth until your soles bleed crimson.

an aspiring screenwriter. she has a very image-based view of memory and experience. always doing a screenplay or shooting film. her style has a lot of catholic iconography (think virgin suicides style or baz luhrmann’s romeo + juliet if it was done on a super 8 camera) bcos catholicism is one of the few things she remembers about her mother. she’s never actually tried to find her mum / find out about her, jst…. occasionally channels that energy into her work.

struggles with self-image and the need to be Loved By All a lot. uses sex as an affirmation of her worth and also kinda manic-depressive (though not officially diagnosed) bcos her upbringing was a bit unstable, she was a looked after child for a while when the adoption papers were still going through… struggles a lot with feeling unwanted, especially since her grandparents refuse to acknowledge her existence cos she was born outside of marriage….. so she craves feeling wanted,, like despite being a real women’s rights activist and hating objectification, at the same time to bridge there’s nothing better than someone sizing you up with hunger in their eyes

she’s queer, but i guess she favours women, and is incredibly vocal in her support of the lgbt+ movement. often at rallies. has done a face-sitting protest. really is that bitch

there’s a degree of anger for anger’s sake in bridget. she likes passionate, angry music – particularly garage rock, punk and riot grrrl. she loves the slits and skinny girl diet. viv albertine inspired her to take up bass guitar.

back at lockwood she was working two jobs to pay for uni !! at the bowling alley polishing the shoes and fixing the bowling lanes, and also as a burger flipper at mcdonalds. in amsterdam she’s managed to secure a part-time bar job at one of the hendrix university bars

massive film buff. is majoring in film at uni also spends a lot of time at the movie theatre n probably has like a season ticket. is one of those pretentious film nerds who’re like “what do u think of goddard’s work?” but also just really into shitty horror movies

she spends her evenings in downtown bars willing away her boredom, trying to find something that’ll jerk her out of apathetic lethargy. she toys with the idea of becoming a stripper — it certainly pays better than flipping burgers — but she lacks the energy to dance for several hours a night.

she loves b movies and slasher flicks. at parties, she’ll occasionally try to make a horror of her own, on a super 8 camera in someone’s basement, very paranormal activity, but she’ll inevitably get bored, or too drunk and give up, like she does with most things in her life. she lacks drive and motivation. she’s bright but there’s no hunger in her.

she’s fickle and enigmatic. one moment she could be your best friend, the next, she’ll behave like a total stranger. bridget’s unpredictable because she’s still unsure of her own identity, frequently flitting between different characters, like snake skins, before she grows bored of being bubbly and eager and becomes spiteful again. her core personality traits are probably forthright, impulsive, restless, thrill-seeking, selfish, gregarious, easily bored, childish.

SOME ?MILDLY AMUSING? FACTS

writes shitty poems on the back of napkins and quotes dead philosophers she’s never read. romanticises herself a lot. like will be standing there in a ripped t-shirt and her undies smoking a cig like “hmmm… i bet someone is falling in love with me right now”

is vegetarian for environmental reasons but snorts coke at parties like that isn’t shit for the environment ?? sis, it don’t add up

loves dirt. ate a worm once because someone dared her too. shamelessly disgusting.

she’s slightly obsessed with true crime, up late watching documentaries on the manson family murders.

favourite drink is cherry coke

a lot of her time is spent in the record store, plugged into a set of headphones, head-banging in the corner to a scratched record. music, for birdie, is a form of escapism. that and dropping acid in parking lots lmao.

sells nudes on twitter. whenever she gets low on cash she contacts one of the seedy old men who used to visit her mom’s club to venmo her $500 in return for pictures

that girl who’s always harping on about body positivity on instagram while wearing cute underwear and looking absolutely bomb

really good at rodeo bull riding. the club in marfa had one so as a youth she got really good at it bcos she was constantly tryin to outdo her friends on who could stay on for the longest. a video of her staying on one for like 4 minutes after downing several jager bombs went viral once.

micro-doses acid for mild depression bcos she didn’t believe in “that CBT bullshit”, thought that therapists, like her, were jst con artists so always a bit spaced out

volunteers at one of the local galleries but mostly just rants to old white dutch men about how cis white men have dominated art for years :/ is one of those SJW-types , like.... have a day off, jameela jamil......

has a pet rat called popeye

takes photographs of dead animals to use in her art and often posts them side-by-side with stills of women in porn to show the shelf-life of female sex workers in a patriarchal-dominated industry or some bullshit idk

big into spoken word poetry, even if its shit. likes savage depictions of femininity

wrote a thesis on art as an act of masturbation that got published

this bitch HATES capitalism and LOVES karl marx

time isn’t real. nothing exists. the self is a social construct. finger guns.

an awful person, really

plots i want that i mostly stole from the tags

muse a tries to stand up for muse b in a bar but unfortunately cannot fight for shit.

muse a (prob bridget cos works in a bar) works somewhere that’s open late and muse b comes in to take shelter from the storm.

‘I got in my car and you were sleeping in the backseat who the hell are you and how did you get into my car’ 

 umm a wlw plot isnpired by san junipero ! esp this post. could have been a former fling that ended sourly !! cos i dont like ship forcing but still?? give me wlw stuff

 “i just decked you in the face because i’m drunk and you were pissing me off but ow my hand really fucking hurts i think i might have broke it and oh look your nose is bleeding and now we’re both sitting awkwardly in the hospital while i glare at you from across the room. but wait are you giving me sex eyes?? stop that i’m supposed to mad at you??”

“platonically sharing a bed until i wake up and you’re curled round me and my nose is buried in your hair so i’ll pretend to stay asleep to keep this for a little while longer” plots

 “highkey want a ‘someone wrote your phone number on the wall of a bathroom in my dorm with ‘call for a good time’ and i just texted you to let you know that i scribbled it out and oh wait you’re actually funny and easy to talk to and now we’re talking every day and i might have a tiny little crush on you even tho  i don’t even know your name’ plot”

 goddamn its another shippy wlw plot apparently that’s all my tag is but this post

“known for being rebels without cause, MUSE A and MUSE B are synonymous to their fast cars, nights out beneath the stars, empty bottles of alcohol, and loud music. they meet by chance one night and immediately click, and embark on a careless adventure after it despite not knowing each other. it’s them against the world: after all, what could go wrong ?”

any of these sad sour unrequited love plots

‘we take the same elevator every day and due to a misunderstanding I assumed you didn’t speak english and I’ve been talking to my friend about how hot you are for three weeks and apparently my friend has known from the start but you agreed not to tell me bc you both think its hilarious what the fuck’ au

‘I accidentally dropped you while you were crowd surfing and you broke your ankle and now I feel responsible so I’m carrying you out of the moshpit’ au

walked in on my roommate and you screwing except i know you from class and i freaked out a little

i was hustling you in pool for money but you were hustling me for free drinks so who’s the real winner here?

bridgot goes to strip clubs n peep shows like every day, cos she’s writing about the history of pornographic film n its basically research for her, so if ur characters would be into strip clubs they might see her there

i feel like she’d be on student council if they had one of those. shes that kind of bitch, turning up like elle woods with a big feather pen or a light-up heart marker, slamming down some truths before upping and leaving to go for her 11am chai latte break

som1 who attended the art institute in marfa for a summer n maybe knew her when she was a bit younger ??? idk

drama. angst. horror. also nice bike rides in amsterdam please

feel free to im me if u wanna plot, or, like this post and i’ll hit u with a message!

[roxannepolice]

Long asks anon again, here to offer my opinion on the current wank. Rey as a character is rather blatantly breaking sw story rules and nothing is going to get SFF fans hackles up like rule breakage. This is root of both the MarySue accusations and current wank. Rey has a tragic backstory thats doubling as the only failure she can call her own. But its a) damn near entirely offscreen and b) serves as convenient justification for why shes competent at near everything that comes up.

Reys instantly good at the force because of a convenient force download that to the best of my knowledge only occured in the noncanon KOTOR II and quite frankly cant blame most of the general audience for not getting because without prior knowledge or the novelizations why would they? She has darkness in her but as so far used and touched it consequence free and its almost entirely symbolically externalized on the Kylo (and in SW symbolism is Real in a way it isnt in other narratives) Shes strong in the force because Light rises to meet Dark but to quote the current crop of movies ‘thats not how the force works) or at least thats never how it worked before. Shes the first SW protagonist to go behind enemy lines and come out with both hands in the second movie. For ppl wondering how come Luke and Ani never get labeled MarySues, this is why, they got thier asses handed to them, Rey hasnt. There /is/ something /off/ in Reys story, and ppl pick up on it. if you can make a post (w/ over 1k notes!) about how great it is that a character meant to prop up 7hrs worth of movies has little to no character development to go through, somethings off. If multiple ppl can make posts about how its neat Rey can tap into the darkside (still characterized as evil in ST) consequence free (with some quite frankly stupid justifications, 'shes disciplined’ really? jedi lacked a lot of things thats not one of them) somethings off and again, if the only failure your main heroine has is /entirely retroactive something’s off/. If the story were getting with the is the story most ppl think we are, a 'female empowerment’ (i dont feel particularly empowered by being told I have an equal chance at being a deus ex machina but ok) than well, her story is over and theres no need for IX (hell it could have been over in TFA, most ppl assumed she had accepted her place as the future jedi in that one) and no need for reylo The ST was always gonna deconstruct all that came before it purely by virtue of being a sequel. The tragedy of anakin skywalker is now a farce, the happy ot ending now a tragedy, and the mythopoetic structure shot to shit in the name of serialization and perpetual warfare. this stand true for all the sequel characters including rey and ben. the only question is are we going to get anything out of it? I compare it to home renovation. You can knock out a wall and the walls gone, but new opportunities arise. With Benlo, I’m reasonably confident that there will be at least some attempt to take advantage of the new space. With rey and the resistance kids? not so much. it just feels like they knocked down a blue wall to rebuild it as pink one and at the point it just feels like a waste of time because ive seen this before. Ive seen pure cinnamon roll desert orphan reform jedi order If this was all youre going to do that the fuck was the point? which circles around to my problem with team good guy this go around and That Scene. JJ twisted the story into a pretzel to justify the winners of the last round being the underdogs again and then rian twisted so much further the storys head may as well be up its own ass. And then at the very end he shoots it all to shit and rushes to reassure us its all gonna be okay. He removes the entire point of the underdog trope /the tension that comes from the fact that they might lose/. I mean there wasnt a whole lot of that to begin with already but really? So theres no tension that Reys gonna win so her journey feels frictionless, and theres no question where shes gonna end up so full offense why give a shit? Thats where the whole 'can rey lose a fight?’ thing comes from. Ppl want conflict in her arc to justify its existence and give us a reason why this her story to begin with. if the only character going through growth for all three movies is ben, if the only characters whos fate is up in the air is ben, and if all the tension in the reylo relationship comes from ben, then why is this /reys story/? why not just make it about the character actually driving all the drama and thus, the story?   As a final thought, im going to add that having Kylo be aware and insecure that hes never gonna be as Iconic as Vader was a great story choice, regardless of where ends up. Current Rebels, on the other hand, seems to have not gotten the memo that they are never gonna be as iconic as Original Rebels, and the story itself seems to being trying to sell them to me as being better. Rey is Luke but better, Poe/Finn are Han wo the smuggler grit, and id be lying if i said it didnt piss me off.

&

Long asks anon to kick down ur door again, AND ANOTHER THING. SW is a lotta things. Subtle aint one of them, and St hasnt changed in that regard. If you have to debate it chances are either a) ur arguing counter to the text in which case mor power to you but not really helpful for predictions or intended meaning or b) /it aint there. A bunch of ppl didnt like anidala, but nobody doubted we were supposed to think they were in love by the end of AOTC, bunch of ppl didnt like poes arc, but no one doubts he fucked up by not listening to holdo was the intended take away. Which brings to rey and flaws or lack there of. Were told rey has flaws but she has yet to suffer any real consequences from them with the exception of The Damn Parentage Wank, which again, pulls the double duty of making her hyper competent at everything. Because rey has no consequences for her flaws, from a story function pov there aren’t any. If rey did have a flaw to overcome, we would all agree what it was

Now won’t you all just look at this beautiful, spot on rant which has been lagging in my askbox since the last time Rey’s flaws or lack thereof were the discourse’s focus (November, I believe?) and suddenly became a thing again, courtesy of Tweetgate. I think you really summed up the crux of this debate wonderfully, anon.

I particularly agree with the part about Rey not getting narratively punished for whatever flaws we’d like her to have (great point about returning from behind the enemy lines with both arms still in place), when SW don’t stay away from allowing characters to get “punished” even for otherwise applaudable features - vide Padmé, whose idealism is what Palps manipulates into gaining more power (this is why Padmé will never come off as a Mary Sue or too perfect, btw). But I’ll say even more - Rey doesn’t even get called out on her flaws, except for by Ben, who’s mostly dismissed as a baddie like Palpatine saying Luke was foolish to rely on his friends. Let’s just consider one thing - both Anakin and Luke get called out on their flaws by Yoda (Anakin repeatedly and by lots of other people for that matter) whereas with Rey, the same grumpy-yet-jolly senex pops up from the afterlife to further inform us what a great jedi material she is.

TBH, I have a very cynical theory as to why Rey is being pushed as the main character while it’s difficult to deny that it’s Kylo Ben who does all the plot heavy lifting. I’m pretty sure Ben’s arc was the first one DLF thought out (and the big question is, was it the only one they thought out) and only later on decided to make Rey the main character, which also involved much less spontaneous writing. Mind you, it’s not as if benepemption didn’t have a manufactured subtaste to it, but with Rey’s heroine’s journey stiff structure occasionally substitutes any in-world explanations of her actions (this is why I have to hope renperor has some narrative purpose rather than happening because lovers need to be separated and anti-hero needs to achieve what he wanted in 2nd act). I feel as if whatever potential her character had (and hopefully still has, pending IX) got smothered by layer upon layer of making her likable by everyone, which largely relied on negative characterization: she’s not helpless, she’s not too naive, not cynical, not too emotional, not too emotionless, not morally corruptible, not anything you’ve ever complained about regarding any SW character, not falling for the bad boy, not not not - and in the end it’s kinda difficult to say what Rey is like and while the goal of making her widely likable was achieved, it also made it almost impossible to view her as loveably flawed/annoying like the classic characters. And on top of all this is the matter of making her a nobody just like you!, as DLF appears to say with uncle Sam’s gesture (which also kinda assumes the existence of a Star Wars fan as some uniform entity? because if you identify with her, good for you, I just don’t understand why the franchise assumes I’ll identify with her by the grace of being a SW fan alone), because, as you excellently put it, the message here is that everyone can be chosen by God - which again, it’s not as if the saga ever contradicted this, so why the hell make a case of it? I can’t agree that it’s made into Rey’s flaw, though, imo her low birth only serves to further frame her as an oppressed virtue. And I definitely agree regarding too much of her growth being left off-screen, or before the story ever begins. The problem here isn’t even that it is left off-screen (it’s not as if we had huge insight into any of the pt or ot characters) but rather that her characterizations is left off-screen while being depicted as at least untypical (unique to put it bluntly) for her situation (same goes for Finn). A hopeful, kind person growing up on her on her own in slavery under a nicer name is a rarity and DLF makes a case for it being a rarity - and this sparks up curiosity in her past, as if market pandering to Re/sky wasn’t enough. So from this pov her un-reveal being frustrating isn’t just a case of not wanting to love her or her self only a potentially deeper psychological question getting answered with well, light.

I should add, Ben’s arc feels like the most spontaneous one (though Finn’s may yet be a masterpiece) and he’s the one to admit his fear of not living up to Vader’s legacy, because I think he’s the character serving as the creators’ vessel, more or less like Luke was Lucas’ avatar in ot. In his fear regarding Vader’s legacy one can feel Disney’s fear due to having bought popculture’s holy grail and not being entirely sure what to do with it. On this background, Rey (a literal scavenger of OT’s pieces) and rebels 2.0 repeatedly blessed by Leia come off as what DLF would want to be. And the result is that the character which was supposed to be Vader 2.0 proves the most original and surprising one, whereas “breaths of fresh air” come off as room aromatizers with “fresh” written on them.

And as far as the plot being bended into a pretzel and then disappearing up it’s own ass, well, a part of me is still hoping that taking virtually the same villains as before is a mythological-psychoanalitical metaphor of a nigredo repeating itself until the unconscious gets accepted by the conscious…. but, tbh, as the leaks flow this hope is withering.

[twdmusicboxmystery]

9x07: Details

Okay, let's talk about details.

***As always, spoilers abound for 9x07. Don’t read until you’ve watched! You’ve been warned!!!***

Rosita/Eugene

I talked yesterday about Rosita running out in the woods alone about how we didn't see where she left Eugene behind. I'll talk about this more tomorrow because I'm going to do a predictions post, but this whole situation is still super suspicious to me.

We also saw her try to drink from empty water bottle. We've seen a lot of water bottles over the seasons that were all similar. I still have been wanting to do a post about all of them, but haven't gotten around to it. But remember that we did see a lot of all-around death. At the very least.

Jesus and Aaron find Rosita and she tells them she left Eugene in the barn. I think this is super-significant guys, but I will talk more about tomorrow in my predictions post. For now, just know that the barn reference and everything about Eugene being there is important.

Hilltop:

Hilltop is thriving under Tara and Jesus’s leadership. I don't know why Tara just doesn't take over as leader. I get that Jesus might be a figurehead for people because he was Maggie's right-hand guy, but Tara is obviously better at logistical aspects and the day-to-day running of things, so she might as well just take over that part of it.

At one point, she said they had a noise complaint from trailer seven. This is a very minor detail, but the noise came from a kazoo which is technically a musical instrument or noisemaker and seven, in terms of biblical numerology, also caught my attention.

Aaron and Jesus training out in the woods together, which I think is kind of cool. I noticed at one point, one of them said "Same boat, my friend." So, another boat reference, but also a call back to episode 6x13, which was called The Same Boat. It was one about Carol and Maggie being kidnapped by the saviors. Not sure what to make of this reference, but it's interesting. (I actually have some theories, but this is such a minor point, I’m gonna wait to see what happens next episode first.)

Tara tells Jesus that Rosita will be okay. She was just dehydrated and on IV. They said almost the exact same thing about Yumiko last episode when she got hurt, and I compared it to Beth. Just feels like more Grady parallels to me. Also in this part, Tara says of Maggie, "She's not here. You are." We could relate that to the “here” symbolism and especially Morgan's Here’s Not Here episode. I won't say too much more about that except that we’ve seen these themes before.

Music/Magna’s Group:

Michonne breaks the violin while guarding Magna's group. I do still think that the musical instrument could represent Beth being shot, and I’ll talk about possible implications of that tomorrow.

The musical discussion the group has is really interesting. It’s kind of a rehash of the discussion Beth and Edwards had at Grady, but more detailed. Edwards says art is transcendent and not about survival, and Beth suggests it’s something they can and should still do. (“I still sing.”) So this was the first suggestion of this idea that, despite needing to put survival first in this world, art and transcendence are still important for the survival of the human race.

Luke says the same thing here. “They came together as an answer to defeat. They sat around a campfire. They shared their stories with each other in the form of music, and paintings. And they created a common identity. And then they, you know, built communities. And then, as thy grew, Neanderthal retreated, and then after a while they just died out…this is the one thing that separates us from the animals. For better or for worse, it brings us together. And if we’re trying to rebuild something, you can’t ignore that.” So we have a major parallel between this and episode and Slabtown.

At one point on the road with Magna’s group, we heard frogs. So just frog symbolism and more callbacks to Them.

Daryl/Carol/Henry

 By far most of the details I saw came from Daryl’s scenes. (Naturally 😉)

Daryl’s camp is pockmarked with walker traps. Many of them are pits in the ground that the walkers step in and get caught. That reminded me a lot of the fire pit the Beth dug in Still.

Carol says, "You haven't fixed the boat since last time?" We’ve ever seen Daryl with a boat before, so I'm thinking this has something to do with the 6 year time jump that we don't entirely understand. But, I also can't help but remember the boats that were so prevalent in 5b at Alexandria. Sam played with one, there was one on the water with a red balloon when Rick stood beside the pond. I always thought that was a Beth thing, having to do with all the water and ship symbolism we seen around her, though we don't quite know what it means yet.

I mean, if nothing else, Daryl is pretty much living on a boat, now. Given all the boat/ocean/sailor/water imagery we’ve seen, that’s super-important.

We also saw a “wrecked” boat in 7x15 near Oceanside. There was definitely some Beth symbolism going on there, so if Daryl’s boat is “broken” it could be the same symbolism.

I said yesterday that pretty much everything I said in my dog post was confirmed here, right? Well, it occurred to me when Carol asked Daryl when he’d eaten last, and Daryl replied, "the dog ate yesterday," that was him associating himself with the dog. She asked when he ate, and he answered by talking about the dog. So, very similar to Buttons, Daryl pretty much named himself the dog. So, everything I said before, (black dog equals Daryl, white dog equals Beth) is definitely true.

Daryl shot a snake! Yep, an actual snake. I thought this was a combination of two things from Still. In Still, he tried to shoot a squirrel on a tree and missed, breaking one of his arrows. Later, he kills the snake slithering on the ground with his knife. In this case, he actually did kill the animal on the tree, but it was the snake. Then he cut its head off with his knife, similar to what he did in Still. So, I'm wondering if we should be reading into the differences as well as the similarities. Maybe Daryl missing squirrel in Still in some way foreshadowed his and Beth's arc. Like that he would lose her in some way, so the squirrel escaped. Something like that. But in this case, he hits it dead on, maybe because things will be better for him this time around. I don’t know. Just throwing out ideas.

I also noticed that Daryl specifically doesn’t bury walkers. He kills one of them and Carol asked if he’s just going to leave it there. He says yes, because it keeps animals away. So this is completely the opposite of what he was in 4B. Remember Beth taught him that it was important to bury people, even walkers and people they didn't know. This started out with the Rich Bitch lady, and he helped Beth cover her. We saw it extended after Lenny was killed by the Claimers. But now, he doesn't care at all. He’s just leaving walkers where they fall.

He also refuses to protect people. At least at the beginning. Carol asks him to go protect Henry and he flat out refuses. In a lot of ways, Henry is very similar to how Beth was when she and Daryl left the prison. He’s strong and can take care of himself, but he's also very young and very new to being outside the walls. So was Beth. So, this would be very similar to if, when the prison went down, Daryl simply refused to watch over Beth. I think that's only important to show that he's sort of in the opposite place he was in S4.

Daryl also skins the snake, just like Still. We haven't seen him do this since 4x12 so this is very significant. Also, kind of a fun reversal of 7x10, when Carol cooked for him. I’m sure they were calling back to that here a little bit as well.

Then we have Carol cutting his hair with a knife. Okay, a couple of important things to recognize here. I thought it was really significant that they specifically did not have her use scissors. We know they had scissors in Alexandria because Jesse used them to cut hair and killed kill a she-wolf. And I'm sure the Kingdom has them as well. Maybe Carol just decided on the spur of the moment to cut Daryl's hair, but even so, they could have her pull out a pair scissors or even had Daryl have one in his camp and it wouldn't have been unrealistic. But they specifically have her use a knife rather than scissors to cut his hair.

Why is that important? I think it's because scissors are Beth symbol. Tptb use them very specifically in the show for stuff about Beth and Grady, and they very specifically did not want to put that symbol in here because it was not applicable to the situation. If we’re totally crazy and reading into the symbolism way too much, Carol would've just used a pair of scissors. She didn't, which means the scissors are important and specifically could not be used in the scene.

@frangipanilove also made an amazing observation about this scene. Certain shippers are freaking out because Carol touched Daryl’s hair and face and their misconstruing that as romantic. But 

1) we talked in our group about how that was very much about his scar. The show is trying to draw attention to it, and Carol playing with the hair right over it gave us an excellent look. 

2) @frangipanilove pointed out that this is a PERFECT parallel to the scene in Them (5x10) where Carol gives Daryl Beth’s knife. Think about it. That was a tender moment between them too. She played his hair. And there was a knife present. That’s awesome! Not only is it a callback to a Beth scene, but I’ll talk in a minute about Henry/Beth parallels, so this works well with those as well. And then there’s my predictions post tomorrow. It works well as evidence for all three. Go @frangipanilove!

 We also found out that Daryl originally went out there to look for Rick's body. That's a super-tragic development because it means that when Daryl walked away at the end of 9x05, he was already going out to look for Rick's body. That makes my heart hurt.

Carol tells him, “You have to let that go.” And I think that’s super-interesting considering he told Rick to let Carl go just before the bridge blew, and now he hasn’t really stopped looking for Rick’s body. He never let it go, any more than he ever let Beth go. Just proves that even though he was preaching that, he doesn’t let things go himself.

It's also super significant in a TD way. We’ve said for years that Daryl looked for Beth's body and couldn't find it, and eventually Rick made the whole group move on. So, it's yet another parallel between Rick and Beth where Daryl looked for the body and never found it. And, you know, Rick's alive so…

Let's talk about Daryl scars. Henry asked about the scar on his face, and Daryl is very standoffish about it. He refuses to answer and then gets up to look for his dog, sending the message that he'd rather hang with his dog than with Henry.

Later, we see Daryl's back and find that he has several new scars, including a prominent X scar on his top right shoulder, two parallel lines further down, and then another X scar in exactly the same place as Michonne’s. Yeah, that’s weird. The top X may have already been there. Back in S3, he has something similar, and they may have just changed it so it looks more prominent now. But he definitely didn’t have the same X as Michonne or the parallel lines. As I said yesterday, these are way too clean and even to be normal battle scars.

Several people have suggested they might be brands. If that's the case, we have no idea what they are, or where they came from. Who the hell could have branded Michonne and Daryl of all people? It's not like the two of them would have sat still for it. So, we really don't know what this is pointing to, but it’s quite bizarre.

Daryl’s dog (Dog) gets caught in one of his walker traps. This had major callbacks to Alone, not only because it was dark, and the dog was barking with walkers around, but because Henry's foot got caught in the trap, too, just like when Beth’s foot got caught in the small game trap.

Henry moved to kill a walker (just like Beth did) and his foot got caught in the trap like her. We even had Daryl helping Henry pull his foot out, getting him unstuck. 

Which is exactly what he did with Beth. Then he asks if he's okay. Henry says yes, it's just a scratch, which parallels to Daryl asking Beth if she can move it in her saying yes.

We also had some missing foot symbolism in this scene because the walker Henry kills is originally caught in the trap and trying to pull itself out. When it does, it pulls it’s own foot off. That’s why Henry had to jump in and help him. Remember that two of the major times we saw the symbolism, specifically an unattached foot, was in Inmates when Beth saw the unattached foot by the train tracks and then with Rick and Michonne in 7x12, which was also a major retelling of Still.

Then of course Daryl says to Henry, "I told you to stay back," which pretty much everyone in the entire fandom picked up on. These parallels are pretty undeniable at this point.

Henry even shows Beth’s sarcasm. Beth said, “Thanks for the help,” while Henry says, “Yeah, you’re welcome.” Again, the fact that they’re strong and get right back in Daryl’s face makes him respect them more.

This is where things get really interesting with Henry and Daryl. Very much like with Beth, once Daryl goes through an experience with Henry, where they survive together, and especially when he can see that Henry strong, he instantly has more respect for him. The dynamic between Daryl and Henry here was very similar to Beth and Daryl’s in Still and Alone. At first, Daryl is very robotic and closed off to Henry, but after Henry helped save his dog, and Daryl himself, Daryl sat down and opened up to Henry without being prompted, telling to him about how the dog checked walker traps and thanking Henry for his help.

Then, also like Beth, Henry kind of calls Daryl on his crap. When Daryl says that if Carol needs him, she knows where to find him, Henry says she shouldn't have to. Daryl then asks if Henry truly wants Daryl looking over his shoulder all the time.

(Oh, I forgot to mention the whole chaperone thing. The Beth razzed Daryl about being her chaperone at the moonshine shack, and they use the same verbology here with Henry asking Carol if she thinks he needs a chaperone. So yet another parallel there.)

 Henry replies that it's not just about him, which seems to impress Daryl. Henry really doesn't want a chaperone, but he'll do it so Carol has peace of mind, and I think Daryl seems impressed by that. 

So, much like Beth, Henry and his goodness and innocence pulls Daryl out of his robotic survival state and kind of guilts him into being a human being again, which brings them back to civilization. Major, MAJOR parallels here. I’ll talk more about where we think this Daryl/Henry arc may be headed tomorrow.

Another thing to note, though it’s not specifically a TD thing, is that Carol allowed Daryl and Henry to interact on their own. She was always in the background, watching, but didn’t tell them she was there. I think that’s significant for a couple of reasons. 

Carol knows both these guys can handle themselves, but she’s still around, being Mama Carol and making sure they’re okay. But I think she knew going into this that she wouldn’t be able to convince Daryl to go to Hilltop on her own. She’s not the one who changes his mind about stuff. (Think Beth: “What changed your mind.”) But Carol was hoping that Henry could change Daryl’s mind, and he did. This might be an indication of the insight Carol has into Beth and Daryl’s relationship, or if not that, into Daryl himself. She knows the effect people like Beth and Henry have on Daryl and was banking on Henry getting through to him. That’s why she didn’t interfere, and also why she was smiling when Daryl agreed to go at the end of the episode: she was right.

So at the end, we get Daryl and Carol finally getting to hilltop and kind of reuniting with some people. Michonne isn’t actually there yet, but she probably will be by the time Daryl, Jesus, and Aaron get back with Eugene, so we'll have a reunion of sorts.

So the structure of this arc is feeling very much like 4b to me. After the prison fell, everybody was divided into little groups, right? We had the same thing here. Michonne in Alexandria, Carol at the Kingdom, Tara at hilltop, Maggie off with the Commonwealth. And, of course, Daryl out on his own.

So this confirms @thegloriouscollectorlady’s 4 Arcs for 4 Communities theory. I’m also thinking about the fact that in 4x15/4x16, all the little groups reunited at Terminus. Now we’re seeing something of a reunion in 9x08 and a further introduction of a bad group (the Whisperers) to mirror the Termites.

So, we might argue that if 9x07/9x08 mirrors 4x15/16, well, we didn’t actually see Beth until four episodes after that in 5x04. So, maybe they’ll give us something in the MSF, or maybe they’ll make us wait until 9b or the finale to see her. As always we will just have to wait and see.

Okay, I’ll stop there. I have a lot more to say but it’s more about where we think these arcs may be going. I’ll talk about that tomorrow. Anything I missed?