I know I’m a chronic overthinker but I’ve been in the same fandom for three years or so now and I was reflecting that writing seemed so much easier when I first started out. Just looking at my output since 2021 shows a clear trend: I’ve been writing much less and it’s been taking me way longer.
I figured that I’d gotten a little burned out and that three years is a long time to focus solely on the same two guys making out and that there’s a limit to the number of situations I can put them in before I start to get bored. But I don’t think that’s quite my problem because even now, a million years later, I have ideas for dozens of fics and AUs that would be interesting to explore or funny to write.
No, it’s that I’ve let the larger fandom overwhelm me and it’s left me constantly second-guessing my writing. And I don’t mean that I’ve gotten nasty comments or asks, because I haven’t! All the other fans have been consistently wonderful and fun people with really valuable insights. And it’s not that I’ve been obsessing over stats or comments or worrying about going against popular headcanons. I mean, I’m just as excited as anyone else to see an AO3 email in my inbox but I’m also perfectly happy posting niche fics for an audience of me and my three weirdest friends.
It’s more that after so long engaging with other fans and other fics and the general meta, I’ve ended up writing too self-consciously. I’ve read so many interpretations of canon events, analyses of characterization and comparisons between fiction and real-world politics over the years, and I’ve enjoyed them because I genuinely care about these stories and these characters! I like seeing what everyone else thinks and then considering their points of view, no matter how bewildering they might seem at first.
But now it feels like I’m writing almost defensively, like I have to justify every choice I’m making based on this enormous and contradictory body of information. Three years ago I’d have written a scene in a few thousand words and moved on to the next plot point with my momentum intact. Now I’m constantly wringing my hands over things like physical details (I guess he’s not exactly a redhead) or broader social implications (is this trope misogynistic?) or finicky logistics (these locations are too far apart for this scene to make sense) or controversial character nuance (does writing this guy as a kind, doting husband make me an abuse apologist???) and the result is that I’m paralyzed with indecision and a ridiculous need to support everything I write with a lot of context that isn’t especially fun to write or, I suspect, especially fun to read.
I’m aware that this problem is entirely in my own head and that no one has asked me for any of this. And it’s not that all those questions aren’t interesting and important things to contemplate. But I miss the days of sitting down at my laptop and going “wouldn’t it be funny if these dorks played a video game together?” and then writing exactly that.
I don’t know. Were my fics better three years ago? I kind of doubt it. I’ve looked back at some of them and if nothing else I now have a better grasp of what tense I’m supposed to be using. But I definitely had more fun writing those older stories, which maybe feels more important.
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With the big news regarding UTMV I want to take a moment to say something.
Fandom is suposed to be a place where you have fun. It is playing wiht fictional characters like they are dolls.
It is fine. It is harmless.
People may not agree with your views/headcanons/or ships and that is fine. As long as everyone is nice to each other and remain chill.
Remember. We are playing with dolls. The dolls don't have any feelings and what you like in art/fiction does not reflect in real life. (because if it did a LOT of action/horror/thriller movies would be forbidden. remember that.)
Now. What to do if someone is mean?
You get anon hate?
Turn off anons. Just turn it off.
"but OP! How will others interact then?"
They make an account. Look. It is NOT your resposibility to cater to others or to make content for them. Fandom is a community. We have fun together. We relax together. We interact and talk together. We aren't making content. we are trying to have fun together!
As soon as someone is being rude/mean/entitled? You report them. After that? You block them and keep yourself safe.
Don't. Feed. The. Troll.
Don't. Feed. The. Hater.
They WANT attention. Nothing you say will get through to them. They will see it as winning because you gave them attention and that is all they want.
It isn't rude to block someone. It is how you keep your online enviroment happy and hate free. It is one of the ways to protect yourself online.
Report the trolls and haters and then Block the Trolls and Haters.
Don't interact with them directly.
Interact with the people who see the fandom for what it is.
A place where we enjoy making things that make us happy and are happy to interact. Let people make what they make and let people play with the dolls they way they like. Keep in mind no character has true feelings and so they can not be hurt. Mind your tags and mind your own space.
It is your own responsibility to keep your fandom experience nice.
Don't engage with tags you don't like but don't spread hate. You can always block tags and put a filter to not see them.
Don't interact with haters or trolls and just block those.
Don't expect others to always agree with what you think or your headcanons. Everyone has a different view on the characters and that is fine.
Stay safe. Be nice. Have fun.
Don't feed the trolls or haters.
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I'm sorry for the lack of activity damnn it!!!1
i don't know if people really care about what's goin on with me (because I'm at this point where I really can't believe what people tell me when comes to their emotions) but I'm getting worse.
I can't touch this site without feeling people hate me
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whenever a url connected to My Brand is taken on a platform i try to spoof it, like. for you idk stellarphantom or astralghoul
wahhhh that a fun idea, astralghoul is an especially neat name, but i'd like to keep Solar in it since people call me this ^^
i might just mash up my current url with my old one ? but i do feel a tiny bit bad over having my name different on social medias ..! but there is nothing to be done abt this augh i'll stay strong lolol
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Please Read
First off, I would like to state that I am extremely sorry for doing this on this account, but this is an emergency.
Approximately two weeks ago, I received two foster kittens, who I love with all my heart. Tragically, one of them was not strong enough to make it. Her brother, affectionately named Kirby, has begun developing a sickness similar to hers, and needs to be taken to the vet today. He was taken a few days ago to the emergency vet, and received antibiotics, but he has a mass that needs to be drained.
I am unable to afford his expenses, as I have used up nearly every penny of my savings in keeping him healthy.
I am asking for donations in any size, in order to help with his treatment. Anything at all helps, and everyone who donates can receive something from me.
If you donate, send me a DM or an ask giving the name you donated with, as well as anything you may want designed. I am unable to ship things out as the costs are too high, but I will gladly make you any digital file you would like. I can make custom practice pages, digital lessons, etc.
Please help me save him, by donating through the link below.
Thank you so much for even taking the time to read this, as it means the world to me. I hope to be back to giving you guys fun lessons again soon, and I wish you all luck in your learning!
Ellie C.
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