#deleting asks unanswered feels so sad

[foldingfittedsheets]

Every fifth ask I get about my ask tag I’m gonna reblog one of the existing times I’ve addresses it.

[battle-of-alberta]

Are we gonna get any angsty backstories for the Albertans? I feel like at least one of them has to have a sad past

hi! sorry! hi!

another ask that kept me awake at night trying to parse. it's not you its me i promise i just tend to overthink things like this to the nth degree and well, if i can't find my way through it i will at least find my way around it and give an explanation! I'd much rather do this than just delete or leave an ask unanswered, so I hope that's ok.

re: ed, I've hinted several times at his angsty past throughout the blog and even ramble about it vaguely on main. If it's something you're interested in, I am putting almost all of my energy these days into creating an exhibition on it that you can see if you're in town this summer, so it's been on my mind a LOT lately. The actual details of his angsty past are a little in flux since its been a good decade since the plotline was first established by Quatsch and I, but I'm happy to clarify what I can for anyone interested. I just like to be cagey and vague about these things :)

ed obviously is my most developed character, not to say that the others aren't capable of angst but just that I spend a disproportionate amount of my time thinking about Edmonton history for both personal and professional reasons!

[julymarte]

remember that server that warned me and deleted my posts cause i was underselling and stuff?

MIND YOU I AGREE THAT UNDERPRICING IT'S HARMFUL TO THE BIGGER PICTURE BUT THIS IS NOT ABOUT THAT today i tried to apply to their art seller role (that was removed from me back then) and i found it so....detached??? let me elaborate to apply for that role you need to send a form where you show your listings and send proof of payment for at least one of your commissions and provide said commission to certify you are not a scammer , i was already feeling a bit uncomfortable sharing payment informations even if i had nothing to hide and the client's data would have been censored like....bruh but still...i was unsure if the kofi order documentation was enough or if they wanted the screenshot from paypal with al the other data of the transaction(cause that's what they normally request people to submit) so i asked about that but i unfortunately had happened to send my material in the incorrect way so when i got the response from a mod via an automated bot reply not answering my question i was confused so i went to the chat and asked if i could talk to a human and they said oh just write to the bot and???? so i just remade the form asking the question inside the form again...seems like i got in but everything was super cold like i'm totally in for formal things, i am fine with professionality but that felt...like... the whole server is operated by the bot system...i understand that it's a big server but... right the other day i was talking with a couple of friends how the art community is freezing.... it's not just about the advent of AI but also about the fact that people have stopped interacting with art as something another person made but as if they are consuming a product and no one is on the other side that server is about selling a product. tou have to lower your prices cause you are struggling? i don't care raise them cause you are ruining the market, you have a problem? ask the bot or other social medias completely ruled by algorithms?? people stopped interacting with art as they used to just a few years ago, there are less comments less human interaction people leave a like and leave, i'm on several servers and only in few of them people actually have a positive interaction among eachother, i've been trying to make conversations or ask for ideas in my own server too but the more impersonal something is the more willing people are to take part like several people voted for a poll that could have been left unanswered if it was just a simple question... it's so depressing and alienation tbh... and part of the reason why my creativity is dying everything has become a product, you have to think about your audience, you have to think about the time you post, the format, you have to create a package ready to be consumed just to hope to be seen by someone that will say something to you....mind you i'm an introvert with social anxiety i don't like talking to people it stresses me out but i'm a human being and being social creatures is in our nature... idk i'm just rambling at this point but eh.... sad....

[pappydaddy]

pappydaddy's writer's block event

hello lovelies! normally in the summer i am able to get some writing done but it has been so hectic lately! and, now that i have some time, i've realized that i am suffering from writers block! and it's pretty intense! i've tried writing for the characters that normally break me out of writers block, i've tried working on some of the series i am trying to finish. however, alas, nothing is working. in a last ditch effort, i thought about having an event since these usually break me out of my funk.

additionally, i noticed that i'm at 1.1k followers (when the heck did that happen lovelies??) and i never did a celebration for it - oops! so, two birds with one stone, eh? anywho! long story long, i decided to do an event! (i will literally use any excuse!)

pappydaddy's writer's block event (and 1.1k followers!!)!

first things first.... rules! might be pesky, i know, but you know i love rules. be respectful! to me, to my followers, to anyone who happens upon my blog (this is a standard rule to my blog, but i will always reiterate it). requests are still closed sadly! what does this mean? check my navigation page! i am updating my 'who i write for' guidelines so please keep an eye out for the updated list on both the request rules page and the who and what i write for page! now, for the details! this is a two-week long event so this event ends on july 19th @ 12 EST | closed

📝 = write a blurb/fic - give me (1) a character from one of the shows/movies i write for, (2) a song, a prompt, a word, a title, etc. (3) a general feel to the fic (i.e., angst, fluff, sad, character death, etc.) and i will write a blurb for it. it won’t be long by any means, but they most likely won’t be all the same length. most popular!

🏆 = give me things to rank (i.e., characters, movies, shows, books, songs, my own fics, etc.) and i will order them based on personal preference (least to most liked) - do not send me other fics from different authors to rank!

🎧= give me a character and I will create a playlist I think would fit them.

🌹= i will release a sentence from one of my wips

🎵 = tell me about yourself and give me a character and i will make a playlist that i think would suit your relationship with each other – please specify which type of relationship (romantic, platonic, etc.) or i will assume it’s romantic. fairly popular!

💋= give me a list of characters and i will choose who i would rather marry/fuck/kill - the characters can be from multiple fandoms! and other followers/persons can input their lists as well!

🧚🏻= send me a sentence or a paragraph with a character and i will build a fic (of varying lengths) from it. can be a quote you want me to base it off, could be a sentence you want included, etc.

🌵 = random. send me anything and i will answer/write it (no smut, things that are inappropriate or offensive will be deleted).

🥵 = tell me a character and I will create a spicy blurb for the x (any pronouns) reader.

🍾 = ask my anything, ask me my opinion on anything, and i will respond honestly (please do not ask any questions for me to reveal my identity, any of those asks will be deleted and unanswered!)

happy submitting lovelies!

[squishmittenficfan]

Thanks so much for the tag, @lilolilyr! This is a really interesting one 😀

I just wish I knew how to do the fancy little title links to everything I’m talking about…

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

A tiny amount in comparison to many, but I’m proud of my 32 works! Considering I’ve had a couple of huge gaps in writing and posting, I’m happy I even got past thirty!

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

233,653

93.7k in 2018

91.2k in 2019

0 in 2020 Yup, one of those writing gaps was massive!

23.2k in 2021

22.5k in 2022

2834 in 2023 I had to drag those words out as @lilolilyr knows too well, with all my whinging!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Just Berena. I can’t imagine finding the voice inside my head for any other 🤷🏻‍♀️

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Fight For - 968

You gotta rub me the right way! - 625

Murder on the streets of Holby - 611

Running Away (together) - 470

There’s The Rub - 233

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Absolutely yes. When my stupid brain wanted nothing to do with fic in 2020, one of the things I felt bad about was all the unanswered comments. I like to acknowledge anyone who has taken the time to not only read what I’ve written, but also been kind enough to comment. I know it gets said a lot, but even an emoji left on a chapter or one shot genuinely makes my day! I used to get horribly hung up on comments and kudos, and would get a bit upset if something I posted didn’t get much attention. After my break in posting I became far more chilled about it. I primarily write things that I want to read, so as long as I’m happy with a fic, that’s all that matters. Comments and kudos are just icing on the AO3 cake.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don’t do unresolved angst! The closest I’ve come is ‘Parting is such sweet sorrow’ because it was for Berena Appreciation Week 2018, and the prompt was angst. It was my take on Serena, in Nairobi, receiving the call from Hanssen, asking her to return to Holby. In my mind, we knew it didn’t spell the end of her relationship with Bernie, so the sad and mildly angsty ending didn’t count.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Everything? 😆

Seriously though, probably ‘Running Away (together)’ because it ended up being the start of the series that saw Serena and Bernie getting married and properly settling down together.

8. Do you get hate on fic?

I think I had one fic get a couple of 💩 comments, but that was when there was a period where there was a contingent of Serena haters who just had to make themselves known. If I recall correctly, I basically replied telling them to fuck off (in the hope they’d used a legit email address and would see my responses!) then deleted the comments…

9. Do you write smut?

I have done. I find it very, very difficult though, and essentially used my first venture into smut as a template for the second and third. It does NOT come easily (ahem!)

10. Do you write crossovers?

Nope. Again, I can’t imagine feeling like I could ‘hear’ any other characters well enough.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I’m aware of. I can’t imagine anything I’ve written would be a big enough target for anyone to bother.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Berena, obvs!

I’m also reading a LOT of Rizzles these days.

Way, way back in the mists of time, I read a lot of Bad Girls. Also some Willow/Tara and 7/Janeway.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?

My desert island fic - ‘Bernie Wolfe-Born Survivor’ I desperately want it written, but can’t imagine my brain cooperating, sadly. It would need to be a multi-chapter, and I struggled hard enough to squeeze 2834 words out of my brain this year!

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, I think. My ladies do love to talk! Quite a few people also seem to comment on the humour in my fics, so that as well I guess.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Smut.

Plus just writing anything at all these days. 😕

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Erm… as in including lines in a different language to the main body of the story? It can be frustrating, but if you’re on AO3 and using Chrome (yes, yes I know!) you can just highlight the text and get it translated easily enough. Not so much on FFnet of course…

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Posted - Berena are my one and only, my OTP…

However, I did dip my toe, many years ago, into trying to write a Bad Girls fic. I didn’t get far at all before it stalled. It only took me nearly twenty years to try again!

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

I honestly like everything I’ve written. I wouldn’t have posted it otherwise!

I think I’m most proud of good old Dead Ed (aka Murder on the streets of Holby) though. As well as being my longest, it also has the most complex storyline and took a fair amount of planning out. From someone who very much winged most things up until that point, it was a bit daunting. Plus the worry that people might find the reveal of the murderer disappointing was a bit stressful, I must admit!

Blanks to copy:

1. How many works do you have on ao3? 2. What’s your total ao3 word count? 3. What fandoms do you write for? 4. What are your top five fics by kudos? 5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? 6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? 7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? 8. Do you get hate on fic? 9. Do you write smut? 10. Do you write crossovers? 11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? 12. Have you ever had a fic translated? 13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? 14. What’s your all-time favourite ship? 15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t? 16. What are your writing strengths? 17. What are your writing weaknesses? 18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? 19. First fandom you wrote for? 20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

I’m not going to tag anyone, but I do recommend anyone who writes and has the time, to do it… it’s fun looking at the stats and thinking about all things fic related!

Thanks again for the tag, @lilolilyr, I really did enjoy this 😁

[ltleflrt]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers!

Thanks for tagging me @prosopopeya 😊

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

112 (also 112 unanswered asks in my inbox, oops lol)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

1,998,134

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Dragon Age, Mass Effect, SPN/Destiel, Baldur's Gate 3

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Kiss the Baker (9,346)

Satin and Sawdust (8,306)

Cursed Or Not (7,797)

No Words (7,754)

Addicted To You (6,079)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! In order to conserve spoons for it, I only answer comments on my long/chaptered fics, and don't answer them on my short one-shots. Which makes me feel guilty sometimes, but setting up an exception is the only way I can manage my social anxiety about it.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

No Such Thing As Ghosts

This is a one-shot that I always answer comments on because if someone takes the time to read a MCD fic, they deserve extra gratitude, and probably milk and cookies and a box of tissues.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I write romances or smutfics, they all have happy endings lol

Probably the sweetest thing I've ever written is Where The Heart Lives which was for an October writing challenge a few years ago.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

It's happened, though it's rare. There was a troll that targeted me on FFnet like 10 years ago who was so over the top with their hatred that it was actually funny. Every once in a while I'll get a comment that irritates me, but it's not really hateful stuff, just something I disagree with.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yeah, original sci-fi alien smut was a thing for me when I was a teenager. For fanfic, I loooove writing smut. Some of my short fics are just smut. My favorite kind of smut involves being in a shower or a bathtub. It might just be masturbation, or full on sexual escapades, but there's water involved.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I don't like crossovers, so no. I have a lot of ideas for fusions, but I haven't written any. I tried to do a Pacific Rim/Mass Effect fusion, but I only ever got 1 chapter, and it's the only fic I've deleted from AO3.

For reference, I consider a crossover something that includes characters from both universes in a story together, and a fusion is a story where characters from one universe live in the other universe, but there's no meeting of characters from both. Like, Dean is a Templar who knows Knight Captain Cullen in Dragon Age, vs what if Dean is the Knight Captain instead of Cullen.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of *knocks on wood*

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, a few. One of them isn't on AO3 and I lost the link, which I'm sad about. But now I only give permission if it's going to be posted on AO3, so they show up under my name.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not exactly, but @jupiterjames and I have worked so closely together that it's almost co-writing. @bendingsignpost wrote a prequel to a shortfic I wrote tho... does that count? That probably counts. Here's the series:

Bookshelf Boys by bendingsignpost, Ltleflrt

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

They all feel equal in my heart, but I've written the most for Destiel, so they're probably a tiiiiny bit more important to me lol

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I'm starting to think I'm never going to finish anything ever again lol

My current posted WIPs are

Reaching Out (Dragon Age)

Shameless (SPN/Destiel)

I desperately want to finish them, but my brain is very NOPE about it. There's also the Untitled Haunted House AU I've been talking about for years now, but I've never posted any of it.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Capturing character voice in dialogue. Also shower/bathtub smut 😁

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Descriptions. Of anything. People, places, emotions. I feel like I suck at all descriptions.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I like to do it, but I definitely have to get help since I'm hopelessly monolingual. And I like when other authors do it too.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Dragon Age, specifically DA2. It's what got me into reading fanfic in the first place, and eventually sparked the urge to write.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

This answer changes every time someone asks me the question lol... today's favorite is Peace because it's the most recent thing I've worked on and there are 2 people commenting on it, and I'm having a good time with it.

Tagging: @jupiterjames @mittensmorgul @slytherkins @valleydean

[maehemthemisfit]

I really relate to the ask thing, I never really know how to answer an ask/ if I've answered it well enough (even just normal asks) I really don't know if what I said was good enough or sufficient to the person. (what if they don't like what I say? Or what if it's not an answer they wanted.)

I remember a while back I opened an event and got over 30 asks for it in a matter of days. I somehow managed to do 21 asks but after that I was burned out and deleting the asks felt wrong when I was doing it (some of them were really polite or told me how they really liked my blog) but I was burnt out and mental health came first.

It’s just hard to know what to answer, and similarity to you, it gets overwhelming for me too and subsequently a seemingly large task to complete- I still have my into: the woods event asks to complete…

THANK YOU, IM GLAD IM NOT ALONE !!

I got an ask the other day from an anon saying they love when their asks are answered, shout out to all the bloggers who answer asks and I didn't know how to feel because there's so much more to sending/receiving asks that people don't comprehend just how much goes into it and how difficult it can be

explanation utc

Yes I know how good the feeling is when a creator answers your ask/request and I've been on the receiving end of having many of my asks ignored/unanswered or sometimes i find that my ask was answers (ages afterwards) to the point where i forgot I even sent it, but now as a person who gets them frequently, I now understand the struggle.

I love interactions, especially ones where I don't have to think too much about, just simple hi's and hello's and how was your day type of asks

And then there are those asks that I feel like I have to pour my heart into just to answer it, even if I'm not particularly interested or my brain's just not latching onto the idea. We all have different tastes and I get that. And I feel bad when Im active and receive an ask and I don't immediately respond to it. Sometimes I just wanna chill or I simply don't know how to answer it yet. Then there's asks that are copies of previous ones, like they seen I haven't answered it and sent another one again, just urging me even more to complete something like they've given me deadline... i get that tumblr can mess up the sending process but it really feels like they're slapping something in my face showing that I missed it...

And then there are those asks that are too forward or so excited about you answering I just completely deflate at. I just feel even more pressured.

Even when they put (you can ignore this) I still feel sad about it, like I'm letting them down because of my inability to write a response. And then there's the ones who just make requests and completely disregard my rules in my pinned posts and ask for characters I don't even write for or things I don't write. My people pleaser self is fighting to make everyone happy though.

There's also the other ones that makes me uncomfortable to answer or things that I don't want posted on my blog... I used to get a lot of vent asks or unsettling asks that I didn't exactly agree with and when I tried to respond I didn't like how it turned out or how the message was conveyed, I always try to be mindful about what I post considering the people I know who follow me. I still hope the best for whoever's on the other side of the screen

And then there's the repetitive asks that becomes too much where you can't keep up with (and my fear of deleting them just leads to my downfall). The amount of asks I have in my inbox now and before I started deleting them?? You'd be surprised.

I'm glad people like interacting with my blog but I feel like there's a line of boundaries and expectations people seem to fail to realize. I had to learn the hard way that I couldn't please everyone.

From the anxiety and stress, to managing your life and mental health as well? It's a lot to handle. You never know what op is going through, but I feel people expect the best and more from them no matter what. Even when they're asking for free content.

I had to abandon events before because my health just got in the way or I just became overwhelmed with life and my online presence. It starts to feel more like a task than a passion and then you see all these people asking for things from you but then you get little interactions from the content you put out so now you're wondering if what you're doing is a waste. It's really upsetting. I've made so many friends who's deactivated or has long been inactive because of it and I also had my moments where I thought of getting rid of my blog.

Even when responding to mutuals and their asks, it's a challenge. I just hope they bare with me and my pacing, we're trying our best!!

Shout out to the bloggers who try their hardest!!! That every word you type and convey is worth something, even if it lays unsaid. That it's okay to take a break and prioritize your health first, even if you feel like you're letting other people down!

You're not obligated to do anything you can't. If you're not passionate, or if you're uninterested, stressed, or overwhelmed about something you receive, it's okay to let it go. And if you're under stress from external factors that comes with managing your own personal life and wellbeing, just know it's okay to hit delete and it all becomes to much. It's also alright to delete asks you simply don't want to do. It is your blog and your life and in the end, your decision on how you want to go about answering something.

No matter how simple or complex the ask is. It's okay. We're all doing our best.

As for askers, please respect bloggers and their boundaries and don't get upset if your ask goes unanswered. Just like you we have our own lives and variables that effect us. We can't make everything perfect to your liking or be the perfect creator for everyone. We all have beautiful ideas, likes, dislikes, and interests, so please don't attack anyone for their struggles or how they manage their inbox.

Spread the love and support your bloggers!!! We are all trying our best so please bare with us. I hope we can all understand our limits and come to terms with what we can and cannot achieve

[kimium]

I was tagged by @m34gs in this post HERE. It's a fic writer ask game! I'm so excited to answer this. Let's start!

Tag Game:

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers:

How many works do you have on AO3? I have 256 fics currently posted on AO3.

2. What's your total AO3 word count? My total word count is 2,547,554 words.

3. What fandoms do you write for? I write mostly for: SDR2/Danganronpa, Fire Emblem Awakening/Fates, Katekyo Hitman Reborn!, and Twisted Wonderland. I have some other fandoms (Akudama Drive, Fire Force, D Grayman, Bungou Stray Dogs, and Magi sprinkled in) but they're minor.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? My top five fics (all SDR2) by kudos are: How Did You Get In Here?, Waking Up in Pieces, Take it All, Your Kindness is a Lie, and Gradients of Colour

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Yes, I respond to comments. I believe if someone took the time to write me a comment the polite thing to do is reply back. Also, I think it builds a fun community on my fics where some people comment regularly on my fics.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I think majority of my KHR fics have angsty endings simply because Shouichi is trapped with Byakuran no matter what. Not sure which is the most angsty, so it's up to you.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Honestly, I'm not sure. I usually end my fics on a happy note. I suppose the fic ending that has made ME the happiest is The taste of melon and the weight of a plushie fox.

8. Do you get hate on fic? I've had hate on my fics, yes. One of those fics I had the same person pester me twice. It caused me to feel anxious whenever I saw my email notification on my phone. I deleted the fic. You'll never, ever see the fic again.

9. Do you write smut? Yes, I do. It's all private though. I'm not posting it because the idea of posting makes me uncomfortable.

10. Do you write crossovers? I've written several crossovers with some unhinged choices. I have a Danganronpa/Assassination Classroom series, a Danganronpa/Kingdom Hearts fic, a Danganronpa/Bungou Stray Dogs fics: Night Sky and the sequel Unanswered Questions. There are some collaborated crossovers with the Glorious Bar AU (with M34GS) and our Twisted Wonderland/sort of Saw Franchise AU.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of. I've locked down my fics due to AI scraping though. Just to be safe.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes, I've had multiple fics translated!

For SDR2: How Do You Get In Here? (Vietnamese), Your Kindness is a Lie (Spanish), The Birthdays (Spanish), Just a Moment (Vietnamese), 1000 Kisses (Spanish), and The taste of melon and weight of a plushie fox (Spanish).

For Akudama Drive: Exhilaration (And the Bottling of It) (I believe Mandarin)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? I have co-written several fics! First, I've co-written with @someobscurereference! For Fire Emblem Fates we have: Love Finds A Way and our Fates Mafia AU. And, as mentioned already, I'm a co-writer to the Glorious Bar AU and to our Twisted Wonderland Sort of Saw Franchise AU with M34GS.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship? Writing wise? Komahina (SDR2). Reading and in general? Satosugu (JJK).

15. What's a wip you want to finish but probably won't? I have three attempts at a FE Fates Kiznaiver AU that will NEVER be completed and I am sad.

16. What are your writing strengths? Writing scenery. I adore writing scenery and find it easy and fun. I also think I describe food well? M34GS has told me some food I've described in fics sounds like I've eaten it and I haven't.

17. What is your writing weakness? Sometimes I find writing what characters are doing between moments in the scene challenging.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? In general I don't like doing it because of my comfort level with other languages. I'm fine with Japanese (speak a comfortable level) but characters like Rook from Twisted Wonderland are a challenge.

19. First fandom you wrote for? First fandom I ever wrote for was either Inu Yasha or Shaman King. First fandom I ever POSTED is a tie between DMMD and SDR2.

20. Favourite fic you've written? I can't say. I like all my fics for varying reasons and I dislike picking a "favourite". Sorry! But everyone else can tell me their favourites! I'm always so curious which one of my fics draws people in.

There you have it! My answers! I tag: @someobscurereference, @shreedle, and @a-little-harmed-shinra.

[dcviated]

GET TO KNOW YOUR ADMIN !!

name — Bear/Will.

pronouns — he/him.

preferred comms — Checking in and quick chats over tumblr im are fine. But if we're going to get into plotting I'd much much much prefer to talk over discord. Because then I can refer back to the posts. Going through tumblr ims should be classified as a form of torture. Pour one out for all the stuff I've lost in there over the years.

name of muse — Which one?? I've got several. Some are 'mains' others are 'testing'. The big three as I see it are Wylan Rechtur- shitlord assassin. Raguna Glen- Farm sim protag. And Eira Kestrova- Bossy mom friend tsundere.

experience in RP — Coming up on 17 or 18 years I think? From starting out on forums to avatar games to MMOs, and now I'm primarily writing here on tumblr though there's a bit of forum and tiny amounts of discord tossed in. But the latter feels off to me. I always prefer more public venues with opportunities for sharing and prompting random questions and meeting new people.

best experiences — Here on tumblr, I'd say. I've met some great people and have come through with probably the best characterization some of these muses have ever seen. Won't get into anything too specific, but suffice to say I've kept some people around for yeeeeears for a reason!!

pet peeves / dealbreakers — I've got so many I'm worried for myself. But aside from the obvious lack of response or enthusiasm, unanswered memes and starters, it would be this: People that come to you for writing (repeatedly) while contributing nothing to the plotting or selection process. Anytime someone looks at you and waits for you to paint a picture of an interaction through a roster of muses and genres and then set it up while going "I dunno" to any question asked?

Guhhhh!!! Give me a break!!! RP is a two person activity. Especially when I barely know your characters. Try and sell something to me!

Another thing that's gotten to me in recent years is an over-use of meta commentary and referential humor. I do this sparingly with Wylan, but too much and you feel like you're on an episode of family guy instead of writing a scene or interaction.

muse preference ( fluff, angst, smut ) — I am... an adventure and action and banter kind of guy. Which doesn't really fall under any of these categories. However, the preference would be fluff. Feel good stuff or anything that makes you smile. Angst, I'm not great at, and I've realized I don't care for it when it's sad or angsty for the sake of being sad. Give it purpose, give it a resolution of some kind. I don't much care for bad ends.

As for smut... I'm mixed. I like writing it but after giving it a shot again have accepted I don't much care for things after foreplay if it's in a thread. Headcanons that are lewd? Yes. Answering lewd/nsfw asks? Yes. But the back and forth is kind of eh.

I deleted my sideblog for a reason. </3

plot or memes — I like adlibbing. And I like improv now and then. There's a pitfall depending on the writing partner with plotting- and it's that you just talk about the plot and the end instead of letting it develop and having things happen. There should be some room for surprises and twists that nobody was expecting. Laying out the whole timeline piece by piece can remove the enthusiasm to.... write it!

Memes are a great way to get started with everyone, especially the situation prompts since it's a little more flexible. I find myself less enthused with contextless sentence prompts lately. And I may start reblogging less of those and letting the more fun ones get a spotlight.

long or short replies — Mixed. I can't novella on command anymore, but depending on the interaction my fingers do get away from me on lengths and what have you. Overall I prefer something in the middle. 400ish words feels comfortable, and conveys enough information without conversations stacking on top of each other. The longer a post goes the more often that seems to happen. And you can get into temporal errors where situations change on past conversations that happened in the same post and.!??!?!? Yeah.

I also do enjoy the occasional banter of one liners and shitposting. But it'll never be the focus of this blog. And is almost guaranteed to get longer over time to the point that it becomes a multi-para thread.

best time to write — When I'm not busy at the office. Quiet space with less things to distract me. I can get into a good productive mindset really fast and knock out multiple drafts in an hour. Feels great. Otherwise I think it's early mornings where I do the best on days off. Evenings are times of distraction, so much distraction.

are you like your muse — I put a little bit of myself in all my muses, otherwise I probably wouldn't be able to relate and make a convincing portrayal or conflict. Wylan used to have a lot more of my traits in the past. But he is far and above his own problematic beast now and I'm glad I don't have as much in common anymore jfc.

Tagged by: @more-than-a-princess (thanks B) a chance for me to look scary) Tagging: whoever is inclined to do it :V

[crackheadenergy101]

Six feet under

Summary: Seth has stopped talking to you and left you in the dust hanging out with new friends, you accept the ending of the friendship and move on, now one glance and he’s asking for you back you give him the hard truth despite your tiny lingering feelings reader gender is anonymous

A/n: I notice that whenever people write angst for Seth or if he leaves them, they automatically make the reader forgive them and write cute little fluff after it like no lol he abandoned you for weeks and you're a wreck your not gonna forgive him in 5 minutes of explaining of what he his and they also creepily make the reader never let him go, as let's be realistic here, so I decided to write it myself, this is what I imagine a situation like this should be like lol enjoy

Warning: angst, sad Seth, adorably cute couple goals

“ Seth can you call me? I don’t know if I did something wrong I- I- just call,...please?..” you hang up, this was your 7th voicemail today. You were distraught after not hearing from seth for over a whole week, you were best friends since 4th grade and have never had any big issues you weren’t understanding.

You flop on your bed and look out, you lived near the beach, you could see everything it always made you calm. But even that couldn’t make you calm down after the sight your now seeing

It was Seth running around with some guys, playing football and laughing you saw Leah to,

You see Leah glance at his phone as your voicemail reaches she simply sighs and doesn’t return it, your heart breaks as you nod and accept the truth “ 2 can play at that game” you glance at the phone only sending one text “fine.” Before blocking and deleting his number along with leah’s and their mother

You look at the items he gave you and pack them in a box, “ you wanna do this to me, fine”

Months past and you moved on, you got into a relationship with a guy named James, when you walk past the hallways you wouldn’t even glance at Seth anymore, you never spoke to Jacob or Leah again. You seemingly just accepted his absence much to Leah’s shock,

Life was calm till that week that had to ruin everything, your car broke down near the Uley house and your boyfriend was set on going to there house even with the long walk

So here you were sitting in a wooden chair talking to a girl named Emily “ yeah I'm going to Maine soon so that's cool” “ ugh I would love to go to Maine I heard it's beautiful-” “ Emily?” “ oh? Hi sam!”

Suddenly a familiar tall man walks in with a group of boys behind him, he kisses her cheek and turns to you “ who's this “ “ this is y/n! There car broke down and they walked here with there boyfriend he's in the bathroom right now though” you give a lazy grin and wave “ sorry for intruding I told him let’s just wait but he’s stupidly stubborn” “ hey I heard that!” You chuckle. “ y/n?” you turn to see Leah and Jacob staring wide-eyed at you “ oh hey guys, nice to see you “

You give them a Lil wave and remain poker-faced, your anger burning in your fiery chest you suddenly recognized that man called max or something, that's the person seth was with that day, and also one of the people he abandoned you for. You wanted to lash out but realized that it's old news and that you should likely move on to not seem clingy “so good news! It's uh fixable bad news I'm broke” James says in a joking manner while walking in from the bathroom “ oh hello! I'm James nice to meet you”

You turn your head to see Seth, suddenly he stiffens, your eyes lock. It felt bizarre, it felt as if he bounded to you now. You felt memories come back as you remembered your old ways of sneaking around and prowling around after dark

But once you think to raise a smile you see memories of those dark weeks come back, calls left unanswered voicemails never returned, the absence of any communication and eventual abandonment and particularly that day you saw him and Leah's cruel little sigh of God knows what emotion, you anticipated to get angry right then and there but it didn't transpire

Maybe your emotions were just vacant, you felt no hatred no grief, it felt as if you were a stranger greeting another almost as if you were just done with him. You blink and sit up straight “ sorry spaced out there, hey! Seth how ya been” you muster a genuine smile and wave “ hey...” seth says slowly, James turns to you and Seth “ oh hi! You must he Seth I've heard so much about you” Seth grins giving a dazzling smile “ only good things I hope!” Leah turns to you waiting to give a scoff or a sarcastic comment to his response but you indicated nothing. It looked as if you were unaffected by his statement

“ so how do you know y/n!” Jacob asks trying to lighten the uncomfortable mood “ oh I'm there boyfriend! “ Seth grip tightens at the word and everyone suddenly goes silent “ what brought...you guys here,” Seth says in an aggressive tone to James, James smiles strangely enough not hearing the tone and answering as cheerfully as always “ my car broke down and we walked here” “ even though I said noo” you add in a joking tone “ your just lazy” “ yeah that's why I didn't wanna walk! “ James gives a joking sigh and lets go of Seth's bigger hand

“ so are you staying for dinner “ “ I dunno maybe I guess” “ what they means is yes “

So that's what you did, you ate and made jokes ignoring the hard stares from Seth and his overly passive-aggressive sister who is named Leah “ oh yeah James tell him about the trip” suddenly James gets even more excited and gives a wider grin reminding everyone of a puppy of sorts, how ironic the pack thought. “ we won this trip to Maine by a landslide-” “ -he's really excited to go, he's been talking about it non-stop, not like he ever stops talking “ you pinch his cheek and he beams “ hey! Stop y/n” he laughs

Seth feels his bitterness burn, he couldn't help it watching his imprint be so connected to a man that wasn't him was affecting him so deeply, he knew it was selfish but he just couldn't help his jealousy and over-protective attitude and Sam understood this and decided to cut the dinner short

“ well I think we outta head out” “ with what ride?” you asked in a teasing matter “ taxi smarty pants “ you punch his arm and snort.

“ oh I can give you guys a ride,” Seth says calmy, he needed to talk to you

“ oh really? Thanks, dude” James says happily, you felt like this was a bad idea but stay silent, he surely moved on so there's no need to be worried you thought, you guys walk out, you notice to see the group whispering but ignore it. It wasn't your business and you're not trying to make it your business “ oh darn! I forgot my wallet I'll be right back! “ you grin and roll your eyes “he's such a dork-”

You turn to Seth and see a serious expression staining his face, you guys stand in silence before you decided to say something to lighten the mood, “ if your thinking I'm stalking you-” “ how long have you guys been together” you're taken aback by his question but answer it, quite suspicious of his odd sudden interest “ like 4 months? Maybe 3?? “ “ and you're trusting him like this? That's risky y/n “. “ relax dude, I kinda like this one and I'm not letting him go by being too guarded “ Seth sighs “ looking if this revenge for...what I did, I'm sorry but that shouldn't mean you should risk your safety”

You roll your eyes, he's so full of himself! You thought, “ 2 things, that's way too much effort for revenge and secondly, I'm not cruel to string him along and do that to him I'm dating him cause I like him not for revenge”. Seth sighs before giving a sad and desperate look “ y/n look... I-i miss you and...I'm s-sorry” and that's when it happened

Your emotions boiled over

Your emotions that have been missing so long finally reacted, and you suddenly slap Seth catching him and yourself off guard, you back away “ shit man I'm SO sorry! “ he looks at you with sadness “ please y/n j-just listen-” “ no. “ you call out to James deciding it's time to go. “ y/n please...” you call out to James again but in desperation wanting to leave, “ huh? Y/n what's wrong “ you walk towards the path and avoid Seth as he tries to grab your arm “ no!-” you sigh and relax feeling your anxiety fuming “ look, Seth, just, please Leave me alone. I did that for you now I need you to do the same”

James runs by your side confused at why your are such a wreck, “ y/n?” you walk away holding James' hand and don't look back despite Seth yelling and Leah crying out. “ Please, guys! Just move on?” you say and walk faster, it isn't fair did he think you we're going to forgive him so easily after everything, no.

You felt a side of you wishing to be with him but ignore it

You weren't risking everything to be abandoned again, you grip James' hand tighter as he tries to find a way to comfort you and call for a taxi

Seth feels his heartbreak and suddenly feels like everything is crashing down around him, he feels tears fall down his eyes as he rubs his burning cheek. He sniffles and calls out to you to not even get an answer

Oh no...no, no, no, no!

Maybe pt2 idk

[johaerys-writes]

Writing Tag Game

I was tagged by @noire-pandora @midnightprelude @mogwaei @serial-chillr @faerieavalon @pinkfadespirit @inquisitoracorn and @in-arlathan thank you so much! :)

How many works do you have on Ao3?

On my main Ao3 blog: 23! I also have a second blog where I post works set in the Dragon Age-inspired Modern AU I've been writing with @oftachancer , featuring my OC Tristan Trevelyan and her OC Aran Trevelyan, as well as a few others of our OCs. There are 5 works there at the moment. You can check them out here: jo_writes

What's your total Ao3 wordcount?

On my main blog, 516,722 words. On my second blog, 193,953 words, but the majority of it is co-written with @oftachancer .

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

High-Flying Birds: 589 kudos (TSOA)

Where Blood Roses Bloom: 467 kudos (Castlevania)

Winter's Fruit: 424 kudos (TSOA)

Like Friends Do: 410 kudos (TSOA)

Memories and Echoes: 327 kudos (TSOA)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always!! I don't think there's a single comment I've ever received that I've left unanswered. I just love talking with my readers and screeching in my replies. I often wonder whether I come across as a tiny bit insane or overly enthusiastic, but you know what? I am both, so who cares 😂 I just appreciate every single person that has taken the time to read and comment on my works, and I want to make sure they know JUST HOW MUCH 

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

I honestly don't think that many of my stories have an angsty ending? Most of them end on a hopeful or at least bittersweet note, I think. I'm pretty sure the only ones I've written that have sad endings were those in my Hector/Carmilla series, You Always Hurt The Ones You Love (CV) which were kind of dark and depressing anyway. 

Playground Love, the fic I've written with @oftachancer featuring our OCs Tristan and Aran ends on an angsty note, but things do get better in the next installment, Never Let Me Go, so I suppose I am a little allergic to angsty endings XD

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

The Stars Will Guide Us Home (TSOA, Modern AU) has a super soft and fluffy ending, and Fall Into Your Tide (TSOA, Merman AU) will have a happy ending too.

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written? 

I've written a Witcher/Dragon Age crossover, Viper In Tall Grass, where Tristan is a witcher and Dorian a Nilfgardian mage which I thoroughly enjoyed! Also, one of the first long fics I ever finished was a Witcher/Wheel of Time crossover, which I think is genuinely the most... imaginative thing I've written 😂 I never posted it and don't think I will, but I still love it to bits and I'm super proud of myself for writing it. 

Have you ever received hate on a fic? 

Kind of? It wasn't directed at me personally (I don't think) but at one of the main characters of the fic. Perhaps it was referring to the way I'd written the particular character, I truly can't say, it was a little vague. It takes a lot to offend me, but this really rubbed me the wrong way. I honestly think I would have been less offended if the person had criticised my writing rather than the character lol. I just don't take any shit when it comes to the characters I love. They're PERFECT, okay? How dare you come into my house and badmouth them 😂 RUDE

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Hell YEAH! I love writing smut, it's great. As to what kind, I think that porn with feelings describes it really well. The smut I write tends to get emotional real quick, even when I intended for it to be straight up porn, so I guess there's no hope for me, hah. 

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. 

Have you ever had a fic translated? 

Yes, High-Flying Birds has been translated into Vietnamese.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes!! With oftachancer, two novel-length fics (Playground Love and Never Let Me Go), as well as a few other WIPs that haven't been posted yet, and I'm currently working on a multi-chap fic with my friendo @in-arlathan , featuring Dorian/Tristan and Solas with her Elenara Lavellan, which I'm so excited about! I've also brainstormed and goblined-out over a couple projects with @mogwaei !!  I love co-writing, it's so fun :)

What's your all time favourite ship?

Oooh, that's a tough one. I'm super biased in that the ships I love are those I write (both canon and OC pairings) but if you held a gun to my head and asked me to choose I would probably have to say... Dorian/Tristan and Achilles/Patroclus? AAH this is too hard ;w;

What's a WIP you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I do plan on finishing all of the WIPs I am currently working on. I have a lot of writing ideas that I don't think I'll ever get around to, but when I actually start writing something I tend to commit till the end.

What are your writing strengths?

Descriptions, introspection and angsty/emotional scenes I think are my favourite things to write. I also enjoy writing fight scenes a little too much (and judging by the feedback I receive on them people seem to enjoy them too, heh). Lastly, I've been told that the characters I write are complex and fleshed out and that my pacing is good, and that's honestly the best praise for me.

What are you writing weaknesses?

I struggle quite a lot with self doubt and perfectionism. I worry a lot about how my work will be perceived and whether it's good enough. I often agonise over small details or paragraphs/sentences, to the point where I sometimes post just so I stop myself from going back and editing indefinitely. I have thousands upon thousands of words in deleted scenes because "they weren't quite right" or I changed a tiny bit and the rest didn't fit. So. You get the idea 😅 (Now, how I manage to read through everything multiple times before posting yet still get typos... welp)

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Hmm, I have to say that I do like it when there are foreign words interspersed through the narrative if the story isn't set in an English speaking world or if the characters speak a different language, but I'm not a huuuge fan of seeing a big chunk of dialogue in a foreign language without immediate translation or a hovering text. It kind of breaks the immersion for me and I tend to avoid it generally in my own writing.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Dragon Age, and specifically DAI! That game never gets old for me.

What's your favourite fic you've written?

It's impossible for me to pick just one so I'm going to cheat and choose a few. I absolutely love my current WIPs: High-Flying Birds, Where Blood Roses Bloom and A World With You, and the freaking epic-length fics I've written with @oftachancer . They haven't always been easy to write (especially AWWY, which has the most intricate plot & character development) but I'm so proud of them and I've learned so much while writing them. Of my finished stories, The Stars Will Guide Us Home is hands down one of my all time faves. It had been on my mind for several months before I actually wrote it, and I poured so much of my heart into it. I still get emotional when I go back to reread it, not gonna lie! Lastly, At The Water's Edge (TSOA) is very dear to me and I often go back for rereads. 

I'm tagging forth to (no pressure!): @fancytrinkets @elveny @glimmerofgold @asiriushoe @juliafied @boshtet-juggler @schattengerissen @dafan7711 @tessa1972 @fandomn00blr @pikapeppa and anyone else who would like to join!

[generallybarzy]

i loved you first.

an: I wrote this mostly a couple nights ago when I was listening to my "ouch" playlist and sobbing so hard I got a 48-hour migraine over the fact that I'll never see my crush again and I can't do anything about it because a) I'm moving in less than a month and leaving everything I know behind and b) he has a girlfriend. But that emotion eventually evolved into "i'm never gonna see some of my best friends again after we move away from each other next month" and that just turned me into this big pit of anxiety where I felt like time was just moving too fast but not at all and I'll miss everything if I don't go do something. So. I was fucking sad and this was the result. completely unedited angst. probably sucks ass, but that's how I'm feeling right now. Anyway, I don't know if you've noticed, but I haven't really been around for a few days. I deleted all my asks so if you had something sent, its gone, and i'm just popping in to post this. idk when I'll be back this time, but i'm trying to take care of my irl relationships and moving and college and all that and it hurts a lot more than i can explain and everythings putting my anxiety through the roof lately. anyway........

song inspo: i loved you first- joan

word count: 2.3k

"You keep running away when I need you most

Running away when I get too close

My heart is full but yours is running out

I think I'm afraid of what comes next

Yeah, I'm afraid you've lost your head

Baby, you know that I loved you first

But now, you're in love with somebody else."

Mat was losing you.

You were his best friend. You'd grown together, laughed together, made stupid decisions together in the wake of your last breakup, he always came to to with his troubles, and, as much as he hated hearing the way your ex treated you, he kept his mouth shut and kept being the shoulder you needed to cry on again and again.

And Mat had been in love with you for as long as he could remember.

Ever since the night of your breakup, he'd been waiting for the right moment to tell you how he felt. You were fresh out of a breakup, and he knew that was the worst time to say anything, so he kept quiet. He helped you get yourself out there and smile once again. He brought that beautiful, gleaming smile back to your face. And it warmed his heart to know he had helped bring some of the sunshine back to your life. He waited and waited, comforting you after all your bad first dates and keeping his cool when you came over for movie night. He tried to ignore the way his heart pounded when you circled your arms around his waist and mumbled "At least I'll always have you, Maty." He tried his hardest to calm his heart and keep his eyes on the movie while you cuddled up with him, wearing his clothes, but the light of his TV betrayed him and lit up the way you were smiling against his chest, deep in sleep, safe and comfortable in his hoodie. He didn't tell you how he felt, all those years. He couldn't lose what he had of you in trying to get more. He would be happy with just this for now.

You rested against his chest, unaware of the way Mat was staring at you as if you'd put the stars in the sky all for him. He was so ready to give you his all, to tell you everything he wanted to say, to finally get to call you his, and hear you call him yours. He leaned down to ghost his lips across your cheek, letting the words fall before he even realized his mouth was moving.

"I love you so much, more than you'll ever know."

Maybe he said the words then because he knew you wouldn't hear, maybe he was afraid of actually telling you, afraid of the chance that he would scare you away with how full his heart was. But he didn't mind. He said it, and as long as he knew he loved you, he'd be content with staying like this for a while while you picked yourself back up and regained your confidence. Once you weren't still reeling from your breakup, he'd let it out. He'd tell you for real.

But then, one of your first dates went well.

He'd gotten his usual post-date text from you, the one he always made you promise to send just so he knew you were safe. He expected another letdown, a list of all the things wrong with your date, or ways they were just like your ex. Instead, you were gushing. Mat couldn't stand the hope in your messages, the way you were so excited, rambling on and on about this guy. He wanted to be happy for you, he wanted to be glad you were finding someone you liked, but he couldn't help feeling the pain from the sting that someone was actually taking you away from him again.

Soon, your movie nights together as friends were overtaken by date nights, and Mat was left alone in his apartment, sitting on the couch you used to cuddle him on, wearing the hoodie you loved to steal, and watching the TV show you introduced him to, half heartedly checking your snap story to see you in the middle of a date with him. He tried to hide his jealousy whenever you spoke of your boyfriend, he tried to appear proud and excited for you, but the hard truth he didn't want to face was that he was losing you. He was losing his best friend, the person he loved the most.

He didn't know when this started. He didn't know how to stop it, but you were pulling away from him. And that scared him. Mat couldn’t stand watching you fall more and more in love with this guy, not when he was right there, willing to give you all the love he had in his heart.

You were the one Mat went to on his worst days. The days when he felt like a waste of space, like he'd never amount to anything more than he was. The days it seemed like the weight of everyone's expectations was about to make him crumble to his knees. The days he needed you most. It only took a quick 'you free tonight? I need you.' text, and you knew exactly the state he was in. 'Of course Mat, I'm always free for you.' But ever since you started dating this guy, his texts went unanswered, unseen, and he was left alone on his hardest nights, with harsh reminders that the girl he loved was falling in love with somebody else right in front of his eyes, while he could do nothing but watch.

This guy had no right to come between you two. After all, Mat had loved you first.

He had comforted you for years over your shitty boyfriends, and this newest guy was no exception. Mat would still find himself, on rare nights, holding you in his arms while you sobbed about how your boyfriend made you cry again, whispering to Mat that 'at least I know you would never do this to me'. But the next day you were gone, running away from him as if you'd never snuggled up in his arms for comfort, as if the late-night conversations meant nothing to you.

'You're right, I would never do this to you." He thought to himself, watching you toy with the sleeve of his sweater and snuggle into his chest to dry your eyes with your best friend's warmth. "So why do you keep going back to the man who hurt you, when I'm right here?'

Mat had so much he wanted to say, and though he didn't want you to run away again, he could only hold his tongue for so long.

"I'm so glad you invited me out for lunch, Mat. He's been such an ass lately, so I'm glad to get away. It's been a while since we talked, yeah?"

Mat couldn't bring himself to answer. God, his heart was throbbing in his chest. He loved you so much, but you were falling in love with an asshole who didn't treat you right. You looked so beautiful sitting across the table from him. The sun was gleaming off your hair, but the beauty was made sour by the necklace that sat around your neck, the necklace your boyfriend had given you on your 3 month anniversary. Mat swallowed back his nerves. "(Y/N), I need to be honest with you."

Any trace of happiness on your face was gone, replaced with dread. Part of Mat felt like shit for making you feel like that, but another, more sinister part, felt a little glimmer of revenge. You'd been running away from him for months, abandoning your best friend for some shitty boyfriend who you still cried over to him, and maybe now you were feeling a slimmer of what dread he had felt when he thought of your crumbling friendship, and the love he had for you that he couldn't do anything with. "What's wrong, Mat? It seems really serious."

"It is." Mat took a deep breath. He couldn't meet your eyes. He didn't know when he started to feel uncomfortable around you. You had always been the person he could admit anything to. Now, you were pulling away from him. "We've been friends for so long, but recently, I feel like I'm… losing you."

"Mat, you're not losing me."

"Yeah, I am. I'm losing you to your new boyfriend.”

Finally, Mat met your eyes, and was astonished by the fear there. How could you spend the last few months drawing further and further away, and then be shocked when he confronted you? Hadn't you realized how little time you spent together? Hadn't you noticed how the only time you spent with him was when he was comforting you from something your boyfriend did to upset you? Hadn't your words- 'at least I know you'd never do this to me'- meant nothing?

"Look, I know you're happy with him, and I'm happy for you… no matter how much you complain about how he's an ass... but… we- you don't come over anymore.”

“I’m- I’m sorry, Mat, I’m more busy than I was when I was single-”

“No, it's not just that. You stopped answering my texts. You know… the ones… when I'm vulnerable. When I need you. I get that you’re gonna be busy, but I opened up to you about shit I would never tell to another person, and I can’t even get a response. You're running away when I need you most…"

He let the silence fall between you again. After a few moments, you spoke up, "Mat…" but your voice fell flat when you couldn't think of the right words to fill the air.

"You still come over, but only when you need someone to dry your tears when your boyfriend did something stupid. You come to me. You only come to me when you need my comfort, but you can’t give me the comfort when I need it, and I’m fucking tired of it.” His words weren’t bitter towards you at all. That’s not what he felt. He wasn’t angry at you, he was angry that either of you had let your boyfriend come between you, he was angry at himself for letting you go, for being too fucking insecure to tell you anything. “You- you keep telling me you wish you could find someone like me. But can't you tell how perfect I am for you?"

"Mat, stop." You were picking with your fingers, a habit he knew all too well.

“I know you remember that night.”

“Mat…”

“It was when you were still trying to date, and always came over after your bad first dates. We cuddled, we…. We got way closer than friends should. I thought- I guess I just thought there was something there. I thought we’d end up as more…”

“I-” Your throat was tight. You hadn’t even realized how much Mat’s words were affecting you. “You can't just… drop all this on me right now, it's not fair."

"What do you really see in him?"

"What?"

"What do you see in him? Does he really love you like you know I do?" You sat quietly, your mouth agape, eyes dropping to the table. Mat’s voice dropped quieter. “You know I love you. I know you know. Friends don’t just cuddle and… and fucking open up about every single little insecurity and promise each other they’ll never leave, and say ‘at least I know you’d never do this to me. I loved you. So fucking much. And it’s so hard to watch you fall in love with someone else, when my heart is so fucking full of love for you.” Mat scoffed in spite of himself. He knew he was fucking it all up, your friendship, any chance of a relationship with you, and it was making his words taste even more bitter. "You know what's not fair? How I have to sit here, watching you fall in love with someone who doesn't love you nearly as much as I do."

“Please stop, Mat.” You quieted him, your hands shaking, in fear of what would come of your surely-shattered friendship. “I- I didn’t know. I didn’t know you felt that way.”

“Bullshit.” Mat was well aware of the tears beading in his eyes, but he tried his hardest to ignore the burn of them rolling thickly down his cheeks. “I- I was always there to hold you… to comfort you when your dates didn’t go well or when your boyfriend fucked up. Can’t you see?”

The silence that fell between the two of you was deafening. Neither of you could make eye contact, and instead focused on staring at the table, not caring about the people inevitably walking around you and wondering what was happening.

“I’m… I’m sorry, Mat.”

“Yeah.”

“I didn't… I’m with my boyfriend. I can’t just…” You shook your head. “I don’t know what you want me to do.”

“Nothing.” Mat sat back in his chair. He’d said what he invited you here to say, and that was all he had planned. He didn’t think of anything else past this point. “I just… I had to tell you. I’m not gonna tell you what to do, I’m not gonna say you have to choose me or him, and I’m sure this fucked up our friendship like crazy. I just- I can’t keep watching this, okay? That’s all I had to say. I know you love him, and I… fuck, I still love you. I just hope you don’t forget about me, alright?”

“Mat, you’re my best friend.”

Mat stood up, sliding down some money for the drink he had bought earlier. God, he felt like shit, watching the girl he loved move on, knowing there was no way they could keep going on like this, no way she would want to keep seeing him knowing how he felt. But he couldn’t hide it any longer, and now, it was ruined.

“I gotta go.”

[thrill-seeker-vn]

Ok HOW are you so fast at answering asks?? Please tell me😭🙏 I have near to 300 unanswered asks in my inbox (for The King's Hound) and the more I answer the more the number rises. I simply gave up at this point, they make me so overwhelmed sometimes!

Sometimes I'm like 'I'm so sad... I don't get that many asks...' but then I remember I usually finish them within ten minutes IUFSHUISDHFIU

Asks are really quick for me when I have free time! I think especially because Hannie, Oli and N have been my OCs for a while (especially Hannie, as I used to have dreams about them when I was 6) and so I know them really well, and just try to channel them when I write!!

But I think as a genuine tip? I just turn my brain off for a sec and try to channel the character. After, I make sure to double check and make sure I answered properly and that it is legible. I always try to make sure and really familiarize myself with the character first. It takes me a little longer to answer asks that concern myself because I don't really know everything about myself, if that makes sense? But I know everything about my characters, so it's easy to answer for them! Prompts however... I feel bad to admit I've simply deleted some prompts because I didn't have any ideas for them iudsfhifsdui and I still feel kinda guilty about it LMAO😭😭😭😭

Hope that helped, iudfhdiufshsdiuf and I hope you're having a great day!!

[pappydaddy]

1k follower celebration

as i was busy in the storm of exams, graduating, and applying for further education (and jobs), you lovelies were amazing me once again and got me to 1000 (!!!!) followers!

i am so beyond words, i have been since i noticed the 1000 follower mark. i am slightly upset that i couldn't celebrate when i hit said mark or when i hit the 900 follower mark, but as i said, i was drowning in philosophy (i needed it to pass and it hurt, amazing course, it just hurt and i was fighting for my life every class - my professor would not slow down). on top of philosophy, i was working on taking notes for all my classes that semester so i actually had to pay attention and not sit in the back of the class writing or working on assignments for other classes.

but, alas, i am here now to celebrate you lovelies! i think a lot of people assume this is celebrating me and my accomplishments on this blog, but i 100% do it to celebrate you! because i wouldn't be holding these celebrations without you lovelies being here. i love each and every single one of you lovelies and i hope you never, ever doubt that. i am thankful for all of you because you are you and you are amazing!

so, without further ado (and sappiness), i present to you lovelies:

pappydaddy's 900/1k follower celebration!

first things first.... rules! might be pesky, but ensure the fun is at the max (wow i sound lame, i heard it lovelies!!) be respectful! to me, to my followers, to anyone who happens upon my blog (this is a standard rule to my blog, but i feel the need to reiterate it). requests are still closed, what does this mean? check my navigation page! now, for the details! this is a week-long event so this event ends on aug 28 @ 12 EST - that's right lovelies, it will be a two week event!! (was the 21st - extended till the 28th) closed

📝 = write a blurb/fic - give me (1) a character from one of the shows/movies i write for, (2) a song, a prompt, a word, a title, etc. (3) a general feel to the fic (i.e., angst, fluff, sad, character death, etc.) and i will write a blurb for it. it won’t be long by any means, but they most likely won’t be all the same length. most popular!

🏆 = give me things to rank (i.e., characters, movies, shows, books, songs, my own fics, etc.) and i will order them based on personal preference (least to most liked) - do not send me other fics from different authors to rank!

🎧= give me a character and I will create a playlist I think would fit them.

🌹= i will release a sentence from one of my wips

🎵 = tell me about yourself and give me a character and i will make a playlist that i think would suit your relationship with each other – please specify which type of relationship (romantic, platonic, etc.) or i will assume it’s romantic. fairly popular!

💋= give me a list of characters and i will choose who i would rather marry/fuck/kill - the characters can be from multiple fandoms! and other followers/persons can input their lists as well!

🧚🏻= send me a sentence or a paragraph with a character and i will build a fic (of varying lengths) from it.

🌵 = random. send me anything and i will answer/write it (no smut, things that are inappropriate or offensive will be deleted).

🥵 = tell me a character and I will create a spicy blurb for the x (any pronouns) reader.

🍾 = ask my anything, ask me my opinion on anything, and i will respond honestly (please do not ask any questions for me to reveal my identity, any of those asks will be deleted and unanswered!)

happy submitting lovelies!

[mafaldaknows]

Why are people blaming you and not shinykingdom? She said to keep clicking it and giving positive comments?

I know that a lot of people have moved on from my latest eye-rolling dumpster fire, and if you are one of them, kindly please scroll past this post. I answer these asks when I think there’s something meaningful that can be gleaned by others from the lessons that I learned from this experience. I am well-aware that I’m annoying, so kindly please just go around me. Or block me. Thank you.

Hello, Anon:

Because I had the nerve to laugh at something that I thought was funny and said so, in my own blog.

I committed blasphemy, Anon.

People targeted me specifically because they don’t like the theory that Armie might have contributed to any aspect of this current controversy, in any way. I merely said it sounded like Armie could have written it with his clever, scathingly-funny inner circle, which includes writers and producers, btw. That somehow turned into me believing he ordered the entire taco platter #4 of chaos, start to finish.

Mind you, it’s just a theory, not a royal decree. I never said that it was 100% absolutely what I believed, and I never said that everyone must believe it too.

Thinking outside the prescribed parameters of a fandom can sometimes cause one to be cancelled, and with lightning speed, even when done in the name of trying to answer the unanswered questions.

I think we all would do well to read and reread posts that cause in us an immediate heated reaction, to take a pause to consider carefully what the person is REALLY saying, rather than skimming over the words and inferring or assuming their meaning and intentions with our own projections and baggage.

In a weird sort of way, I got a tiny glimpse into how quickly Armie could be cancelled, over allegations since proven to be false, by what people choose to infer or assume about the situation. It made me profoundly sad that someone could one day just decide to ruin someone else’s life, with relative ease, and how eager other people are to hop onto their bandwagon, once it gets rolling.

Collective online moral outrage is a pernicious and powerful 21st-century tool.

I get it. It’s human nature to feel protective about the people we love, especially as fans in a fandom. We have all said something similar to someone else at some point on our social media journey, in defense of our sacred cows, even if we thought the better of it and deleted it. Because we are perfectly imperfect human beings.

Giving each other the benefit of the doubt, the grace to be imperfectly human, is the best way, imho, to prevent ourselves from eating our own the minute someone in our fandom family colors outside the lines. Yes, I went there. I couldn’t help but see the irony in the situation.

Let’s remember to treat each other with kindness and compassion, as shipmates and fellow passengers, to keep our ship steady.

Love is what unites us. 🚢❤️🧿💖💙💚✨

Thanks for your question. 😊

[btsandvmin]

Opening my asks again

I have had my asks closed for quite a while now, but I finally feel ready to open them again. I am sorry as I know a lot of you have had questions and even sent me messages wondering why you couldn’t send asks. I simply needed a break. 

As you might know I have been going through my old asks and tried to answer as many as possible and also sort out old ones or asks I simply won’t answer for whatever reason. I’ve also been too stressed to be able to keep up properly and thus decided to close my asks while I sorted through the ones I had. Now I have gone from over 500+ asks down to 100 left unanswered or unsaved! And just to put that into perspective, if we look at all asks I have ever answered on this blog we end up somewhere around 350 asks.

I am really sorry to you who have sent me asks that I haven’t answered, I hope you don’t feel discouraged, sad or offended. I just had to realize that it wasn’t going to be possible to answer every single one. But again, I have read all of them and am super happy you want my opinion on so many things.

Most of my answered asks you can find in my ask collection posts: Collection of asks - BTSandVMIN, Collection of asks 2 - BTSandVMIN, Collection of asks 3 - BTSandVMIN. But really, I think I need to figure out a better way to organize my asks in the future because I know the way it is now it’s both difficult for me to keep up and for you to find old asks you might be interested in. I’ll try to think of something... I have also tried to reorganize my Masterpost as it’s a bit difficult to find things now when it’s getting so big. I hope you’ll be able to navigate my blog in a easier way and find topics you are interested it.

I don’t know how I will answer asks in the future, as I suppose it depends on how many and what asks I get. And I know I will likely still be slow at times, but I’ll try to keep up and sort through asks in a more consistant way so that old ones don’t get forgotten.

I’ll try to do my best to answer your questions, but will likely try to focus more on my own posts as I have a lot of topics I want to talk about in a more organized way. I also hope you understand that there are asks I might choose not to answer. For example I have just deleted 30+ asks that were basically hate or anti commentary, 70+ that were about other ships and almost 100 that were simply too old or out of context to make a reply to at this point. But I also got a lot of love from you, and those I have kept saved to go back and look at.

Thank you, to all of you who have invested so much time and energy into my blog. Your support really means a lot to me. I purple you! 💜