#despite my efforts to chase y’all away ahdjfjf but like
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going to be sad again rq and say that I have gotten closer to giving up on believing that I am loved or like worthy of love
#whimsy whispers#I do just feel unloveable as a whole#I’m like every imaginable aspect#by myself as a person by others be it in any shape or form#I like gave up on being love romantically a while ago because like all romance is to me is a joke at my expense#but like even as a friend or in a familial way I don’t feel all that loved or deserving of love#sometimes I feel like only the cats in the household I live in love me and I’m tempted to say that’s just cause they know me as one of the#ppl who can supply them with food#I know at least a few friends do love me that’s not like something I mean to overlook I know without a doubt at least four of y’all care#despite my efforts to chase y’all away ahdjfjf but like#at the end of the day overall I feel unloved and like I don’t even deserve to be loved#even if I were loved by more people it wouldn’t feel deserved#idk like#like I said I have fully given up on like ever being in a relationship I don’t expect anyone to ever like love me like that and at this#point after everything I don’t know if I want anyone to#and I just feel like I’m close to giving up on love in general also#I’ve already given up on like goals and hopes and dreams so why not love as well?#idk it’s another ‘everything is pointless and I’m unhappy’ post#life is just nothing to me except for sadness and repetition
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