#diagnostics are discouraging and expensive but she can't tell you what's wrong

[mod2amaryllis]

heyyy ik you're not a pet owner advice blog but since you have a few animals with special needs at home I was wondering if u could help me. Our adult cat (partner's cat but I moved in recently so adopted her by marriage) is very fearful, to the point of being scared by stuff like curtains or her own tail sometimes. Of course she very rarely accepts pets and does not like to be held even tho she doesn't show agressivity (just meows offendedly like a teenager). She accepts some forms of play like small bouncing balls and matatabi toys but is scared by most things. I'm ok with having a cat that isn't affectionate (poor girl was abandoned by several previous owners bc of this :(( ) but I wonder if there is a way to help her w this... I get a little sad that we seem to scare her by just walking around the flat or looking at her. She's been this way for 3-4y since adopted. I would ask the vet but she's not due for a check up before a while.

yup not a pet advice blog haha BUT. you say she's not due for a check up, what has the vet done at previous check ups for diagnostics? have you done xrays? bloodwork? did the vet look at her teeth or ever recommend dental work? with a reclusive pet, the first thing you should rule out is pain.

i see so many cats transform after dentals, once we've taken out bad teeth that weren't easily diagnosed on physical exam. my vet also loves to tell the story of one cat who always hated belly touching, to the point of biting, and eventually they took xrays for something related and saw she had a huge bladder stone. after removing it, this cat LOVES BELLY RUBS, begs for them constantly, never attacks.

it could be personality, but 3-4 years is a long time for a cat to remain fearful. if you rule out pain, the vet might also consider prozac, which comes in easy to administer ointment if she's too scared for oral meds.

for now try to maintain as peaceful as environment as possible. Toby is a fraidy cat and we've learned to step softly (literally), speak softly especially if we see him (hiii tobbyy hiiiii), and provide as much high and ground cover as you can fit in the flat (i love jackson galaxy's advice of determining if your cat is a low bush dweller or a high tree dweller). it sounds like you're already respecting her personal space so keep it up 👍