#dick feels like an asshole

[tofuingho]

Imagine Jazz is dating Dick and the Batfam knows. They probably haven't had a formal introduction, but they've done a bit of investigation. They know all about the Dr.s Fenton and their inventions. The know about Danny and Dani's different achievements.

The one weird thing is that they can't find any clear photos of Danny or Dani.

One day, one of them sees her out and about with an absolute mountain of a man. He's very attractive and has black hair and blue eyes.

They're obviously very close to each other. They're very comfortable in each other's space and often put a hand on the other's arm or shoulder.

Oh my god. She's cheating on Dick.

[lilpomelito]

i need a fic or something where steve tells eddie "hey you were a dick in high school too. jumping on tables and screaming at people who just want to eat their lunch about their conformism to the man or whatever was annoying as fuck. also why did lucas have to choose between a sport and your nerd game that's normal. people are multidimensional. I'm not alone in this, who wasn't a total dick at 16. where is your redemption arc mister."

[mayasaura]

I don't wanna further hijack that poor poll, but the thing about Harrow's schizophrenia is that it's canon. The author has confirmed it, and shared that it's based on her own experience.

It's a pretty obscure bit of canon, so of course there's no shame in not already knowing, but that's why I'm so obnoxiously persistent about letting people know.

Whatever else is up with Harrow, autism or cptsd or any number of likely headcanons, she is also schizophrenic. I feel like that's too important to be handwaved away as a difference of opinion.

[oceanwithouthermoon]

people who dislike saiki kusuo i need to pick and prod at ur brain. whats going on in there?

[canonfanon]

Rewatching Pacific Rim right now, and there's this tiny moment between Mako and Raleigh that I really love

Toward the beginning of the movie, before any of the main action, Mako is showing Raleigh around the shatterdome, introducing him to the newly-renovated Gipsy Danger

Directly after this, Mako shows Raleigh to his quarters and the two of them have this conversation:

They talk a little more, Mako reveals her amazing simulator score, but also confirms that she is not one of the pilot candidates. They then discuss Raleigh's abilities. He asks Mako for her opinion - she thinks he is skilled but too unpredictable and reckless. She ends with this:

Raleigh thanks Mako for her honestly and says she may be right. Then goes on to say this:

And the tiny detail in this scene that drives me crazy is right here

He says when. Not if, when. Mako has just explicitly confirmed that Marshal Pentecost is not considering her for Jaeger pilot. It has already been established at this point that there are only 4 Jaegers left anyway, and that the program is nearing its end, one way or another. In all likelihood, they have very little time left until the end of the whole damn world. Hell, Mako herself just criticized Raleigh, and he could very well wish to get back at her for that, were he a different person. AND YET, despite all of that, he says when. Raleigh has faith in Mako from the very, very beginning, before they even drift together, before he even sees her fight.

And that drives me crazy! I love their relationship so much

[kugisaaki]

insane how some adults forget that kids are actual human beings with emotions and feelings

[shahs1221]

thanks for not putting any sort of nsfw label on that art like I totally wanted to see that shit it's sooooo cool that you didn't give enough of a shit to even tag it as nsfw or nsft so my filter would catch it

Hey anon, I would've definitely tagged it as such if you were just you know, nice about it. It would've been SOOOO easy for me. But I suppose that was super difficult for you, so guess what?

I'm not gonna tag it.

Fuck off.

[puppetmaster13u]

Thinkin about the Meat Marionette Au, specifically the batclan having two bodies. And I apologize if this is rambling lol

I feel like they still train and work out most days (look Bruce has gotten used to picking up his kids, he's not going to stop even if he's in his human body). It's just probably not to the same extent as in canon of a daily thing without giving their bodies a break. That probably actually means their human bodies are healthier than in canon, seeing as one actually needs to let their muscles rest between exercising them. Not to mention they- or at least their bodies- are getting rest. Hell it's almost like their bodies are in comas for a few hours each night what with how low their brain activity would register as.

Now I'm thinking this probably influences how they act and appear towards the public. They shy away from most interviews (they're trying not to hiss or growl) and are mostly quiet whenever they speak in public, so it'd be easier for the tabloids to spin a story about a shy or demure family doing their best to help Gotham. Which is... the complete opposite of what they are, but no one needs to know that.

Others might even go the mysterious hermit route when trying to write a story about the Waynes, seeing as they're not spotted outside often (what with uses of disguises and such) save for the times the patriarch of the family has gone on another adoption spree. Honestly most of the stories about them are either having to do with Wayne industries, the very rare gala that everyone is wanting into, or the several adoptions that have been reported on several times.

Online is another story probably, and there's definitely several memes about each Wayne family member's posts. They're somehow Gotham's darlings despite being social recluses.

That being said, being connected to the Tunnels definitely has an effect on them even in their original human bodies. Not just mentally but physically as well. Like there is some definite off vibes the longer one is in their presence, their movements just a hint too graceful and something almost... predatory about it.

Also slightly random but I feel like Bruce would grow his hair out, like not even purposely at first. He just got caught up in cases and trying to figure out the meat-marionettes (thank you Dick for the name, but did you really have to call them that) that he forgot to get it cut several times. And by then it's just easier to put it in a ponytail than stay still for however long it'd take to get it cut and well, actually look good even if he himself doesn't care about it. Then he also gets kids who want to learn how to do things like braiding hair, which means he learns too and... yeah...

This au is a combo of my cryptid batfam and @phoenixcatch7's possessed doll au, which you need to check out because it's great. A really fun concept and influences a lot of this Au concept too. Also mutual of mine do you have any ideas for their civilian IDs

[inkling0121]

Ignore my last post Im laughing at this douche again

Its been literal months and the only shame is I can't block them, I still can't help but find it funny and it's made me realize Im immune to hate, the only thing that got my blood boiling was the use of the r slur

[strangestcase]

You know what, it's no surprise Zionists are, on average, about as smart as a box full of rocks, since their solution to an ethnic group being persecuted and genocided is to take them out of their countries and just fucking shove them all into an ethnostate which just so happens to be located where a different, non-ethnostate country already exists.

[fishyartist]

So mad about me just realizing the color pallet despite being in Sonic mode for the past like week

[ctrl-lupin]

Yes, I would be very interested hearing your head canon (@tim-ribbert-56) (in response to this post)

I have decided for my personal entertainment that Clarisse de Cagliostro is related to Lupin III, and here's why.

-pulls out Arsène Lupin's Wikipedia page-

In the novel La Comtesse de Cagliostro, a young Arsène Lupin (at the time going by the name Raoul d'Andrésy) was courting Clarisse d'Etigues, a young lady of a well-to-do family, and trying to win her hand, despite her father's disapproval.

Throughout the course of the novel, Lupin meets and falls in love with Joséphine Balsamo, aka the Countess of Cagliostro, and abandons Clarisse in favour of her. To clarify, Joséphine is not actually countess of anything, she is (or claims to be) a descendant of Giuseppe Balsamo aka the Count of Cagliostro (who was also count of jack shit), a famous conman from the 18th century.

Shenanigans ensue, which I will not go into in details on, but oh my god I am insane about Raoul and Joséphine, I want to dissect them and study them under a microscope. It turns out Joséphine aka Cagliostro is evil as fuck, Raoul/Lupin realizes that and goes back to Clarisse (whom he had previously abandoned like an old sock, I fucking hate this guy), marries her, and a few years later has her kid.

Unfortunately Clarisse dies in childbirth, and Joséphine, who was still around and very very pissed at Lupin (and jealous as hell of Clarisse whom, may I mention, had never personally antagonized her in any way whatsoever, Joséphine is just fucking bonkers). Joséphine also kidnaps Lupin and Clarisse's son, Jean, and raises him as her own son. (I have not yet read the following novel The revenge of Cagliostro so I don't really know what Jean's deal is, I just know he's an antagonist).

The following is my headcanon, based on these events. In the universe of Lupin III, Joséphine Balsamo was actually countess of the small kingdom of Cagliostro (maybe Giuseppe was count, maybe he conned his way into becoming count, maybe he bought the land and built a fake kingdom with a fake history, who knows).

After the events of The revenge of Cagliostro, Jean settles down in the country of Cagliostro, gets married, has a child, and that child will later have a daughter of their own, who they name Clarisse, after their late grandmother. Clarisse de Cagliostro, of Lupin III: The Castle of Cagliostro fame, would thus be the great-grand-daughter of Arsène Lupin, making her Lupin III's cousin/niece/whatever you call this specific degree of separation.

I am choosing to make Clarisse de Cagliostro a great-granddaughter of Arsène Lupin, rather than a granddaughter, because Arsène Lupin was very young when the events I described unfolded: he is 20 years old when he meets Clarisse d'Etigues and the whole Cagliostro debacle happens, and 25 by the time Jean is born. I'm assuming he had Lupin II much later in his life. So Jean and Lupin II (half-brothers) would have a significant difference in age, and so Jean's hypothetical child (grandchild of Arsène Lupin, so of the same generation of Lupin III) would be much older than Lupin III. Clarisse de Cagliostro is younger than him, maybe around the same age if you stretch it, so she's have to be a great-grandchild.

Now I need to read The revenge of Cagliostro and study Arsène Lupin's wikipedia page in more detail to determine when exactly Lupin II was born and who his mother was. And also where Albert's family branched out, because the fact that he's called D'Andrésy should theoretically place him as a descendant of Arsène Lupin's mother but not of Arsène Lupin himself; but Jean was also going by that last name, so who fucking knows.

No I am not insane I promise, I am just a gigantic nerd.

[daily-terus]

[shelbswastaken]

OK so obviously the whole sub fiasco was a massive fuck up and very much hubris but I still feel pretty bad for those guys who were inside it.

Like yeah they were billionaires and billionaires suck but that had to have been a terrifying way to die and the way people were doing stuff like counting down how much oxygen they had left and hoping they succumbed to cannibalism is kinda incredibly fucked up and sadistic.

[selfrinsert]

[kitdarling]

god he's so good at being a dick jesus christ

i can just hear the ultimate dirk pesterquest theme slowly getting louder in the background

dick