#dick grayson

[oifaaa]

Just thought the funniest thing I think they could do with the new Dick and Jason's robin movie is to go back to pre crisis canon bringing back jasons circus origins and having all four parents die in the same acrobatics murder

[incorrectbatfam]

Bruce: I keep thinking about which horror movies I’d make my kids watch.

Selina: I don’t wanna have kids with you.

Bruce: Why? They’d love it.

Selina: Oh, so you wanna have kids with me?

Bruce: When I die mysteriously at 46, the nights in which we cuddled on the couch watching horror movies will be their favorite memory of me.

Selina: Or they’ll think your ghost still haunts our house.

Bruce: Which is pretty comforting.

[birdiedoesdc]

robins posting

[supine-ly]

continuing the struggle to understand motorcycle anatomy

featuring joyful batdad based on an actual comic panel

[boombaux]

dick picking jason up from a random address like a divorced mother picking her child up from school

[frownyalfred]

Dick: why aren’t we freaking out more about ras stealing Tim’s spleen?

Bruce: well I think everyone who’s trained with him has lost at least One “unnecessary” organ. I mean where do you think my gull bladder went?

Dick-did not know Bruce was missing an organ: I hate this family sometimes

Bruce: I can't believe Ra's took Tim's spleen. This is insanity. When I see him again, I--

Alfred: If I'm recalling correctly, didn't Ra's Al Ghul take your spleen during training?

Bruce: --well. Yes, but that's not the point. He took Tim's spleen.

Dick, wide-eyed: Ra's Al Ghul removed your spleen and you never mentioned it?

Jason: You don't have a spleen? Are you fucking kidding me?

Tim, slumped over Jason's shoulder: Ayy, no-spleen buddies!

[violent138]

I think the Batfamily can be organized by levels of germaphobia:

Least concerned/worst offenders:

Bruce - established grand tradition of running around in sewers 

Dick - licks evidence off the ground. Will wear the same domino mask for multiple days. 

Tim- enjoys being stabbed in the chest by blades that may or may not be clean. Long career as a skateboarder means his board has been tossed (to the horror of others) onto his bed/their car seats.

Jason - Expiry dates are a myth. Also see penchant for severing heads and then using the same gloves to answer his phone 

Mid-Level Offenders

Stephanie- likes swimming. In Gotham. Also a sewer acolyte.

Babs - Has made out with Canary in the most dubious of make out spots. Will also drink coffee that has been there for an indeterminate amount of time.  

They're Doing Their Best

Damian - Adopter of random animals, however he was raised extremely well and performs wazu five times a day 

Cass- Will eat from dubious food carts, however she does take ridiculously long showers 

Duke- (Has microscopic vision and will get grossed out pretty quick), everything he's done in sewers has been against his will, raised by a mom who was a neat freak.

[breannasfluff]

Running the flower store is a nice break. Danny’s got to do a bit more math than expected–no, Mr. Lancer, that doesn’t mean percentages were useful–but Harleen didn’t lie about the job. He sells the odd book, waters the plants, and moves the bouquets in and out of the flower fridge. 

On the second day, someone comes whirling into the shop, slamming the door behind him.

“Hi, can I help you?” Danny has on his best customer service face. 

The guy spins around and does a double-take like he wasn’t expecting to see Danny. “Who are you?”

“I work here. Are you looking for a book or flowers?”

The guy has dark hair, almost black with a hint of brown in the sun and blue eyes. He’s bulky enough that he likely works out. Laugh lines are starting at the corner of his eyes. “Where’s Harleen?”

“She’s on vacation for a few days. I’m watching the store for her in her absence.” Danny can’t help but tense, keeping a sharp eye on the stranger. What if he intends to rob the store? Danny’s got his taser, but that won’t help from behind a counter. Subtly, he reaches for intangibility, keeping it ready on a moment’s notice. He’s not about to get shot–again.

“I’m Dick,” the guy says. “Sorry about the interrogation. It’s just…Harleen never takes a vacation. She must trust you to watch the shop.”

Danny shrugs because he really has no connection with the girl. “It’s just a job. Can I help you with anything else?” He’d really prefer Dick finish his maybe-or-maybe not legitimate business and leave. 

“Right!” Dick swings back to look at the rest of the store. “I am going to see my friend later, it can’t hurt to bring some flowers. Got a suggestion?”

Normally, Danny would join the customers as they look at flowers, offering what suggestions he can. Now, he stays firmly behind the till. “The daisies are a nice pop of color. We have a few bouquets of dry flowers if you want something that lasts longer.”

Dick hums and considers the flowers. “Maybe the daisies.”

Danny rings him up, still keeping an eye on Dick. “I’ll let Harleen know you dropped by looking for her.”

“I’d appreciate it. Do you know when she’ll be back?”

He does, but there’s no way he’s telling. Who knows why Dick wants to know–if that’s even his name? “She’ll be back soon.” He defaults to his blandest smile. 

Dick wilts slightly under it, pulling the daisies toward him. “Okay, thanks. See you later.”

Not if Danny can help it. Maybe he should stay late tonight, just to make sure the guy doesn’t come back and try to break in. Explaining how he fended off a burglary might be a little difficult, but Harleen doesn’t deserve to have her shop trashed. And if she’s a friend of Pam’s, then she can be an acquaintance–friend?–of Danny’s.

Harleen laughs so hard she’s wheezing when Danny warns her about “Dick” and his off-vibes. 

“I’m guessing you know him,” he says, giving her a scowl. He’s been practicing his scowls. Batman’s famous for them. 

“Do I ever!” Harleen cackles, half lying across her counter. Finally, she hauls herself up with a grin. “No wonder Pam likes you.”

“Couldn’t let this place get robbed.”

“You did good, Dan, don’t worry. I appreciate you watchin out for the store.” She glances around at the plants and books with a soft smile. “This place is my baby. It’s nice to just have a…normal job. I’m laughin because Dicky is probably the most harmless person to come into this store and you clocked him as a robber.”

Danny sniffs and looks away. He’s learned to listen to his instincts and his instincts said that guy was Trouble with a capital T. Maybe it’s the kind of trouble Harleen likes, but he’s not about to get mixed up in it. 

Read the rest here!

[not-another-robin]

Alright everybody go home this is all I do now

[erinwantstowrite]

chapter 16 ooc doodle :3

[nosyrobin]

Random bitch ass hater: Your hair is too big! I can’t even see myself, how can you mange to do all that?! You’re weird!

Tamaranean!reader who is now a little insecure about their big curly fiery hair: oh…

*The young justice league ready to defend their friend with murderous intent as Robin and Wally comfort the alien teen first.*

[abreca]

Discowing sketch from last night

[incorrectbatfam]

Damian, reading his fortune cookie: "You will commit a crime in three minutes."

Tim: That's pretty direct, right?

Damian, to Dick: What does yours say?

Dick: Mine says, "You will witness a crime in three minutes."

Damian: Drake, what does yours say?

Tim: "You will die in three minutes."

[nightmare-foundation]

Yknow, i always thought it was genuinely insane how people laugh at the time when Cass threw Dick out a window.

Bc, like, iirc Barbara dumped Dick because she saw Dick being SA'd by Tarantula (non-consensually kissed) and went "he's cheating on me!"

So like. The whole reason Cass threw Dick out a window is bc Barbara dumped him for being SA'd, if I have my timeline correct.

And uh... how the fuck is that funny?? It's actually kinda messed up imo. Granted in-universe you can't really blame Cass bc iirc she didn't have the full picture, but still.

Its just... it's not funny to me and I don't see why people think it's hilarious

[gothamite-rambler]

Bruce: You are grounded!

Jason (whole adult): You can't ground me!

Bruce: Grounded!

Jason: But I don't even live here!

Bruce turns Jason around and points to the stairs to his old room.

Bruce: The night, your room. Grounded!

Jason: This some bullshit!

Jason stomps upstairs and heads to his old room. A door slam is heard and then the sounds of random items being tossed around.

Bruce: He'll work it out his system. I'm going to bed.

Dick (looking at Tim confused and then Bruce as the man heads upstairs): Did you just ground a 23 year old?

Tim: And did it work?

Bruce: You forget I'm Batman.

[bearforceone3]

wonder twins doodle