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#did I have this post in my mind since this July when I made this illustration? PROBABLY
greypetrel · 1 year
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A small trip down one minimal character design choice...
#and josie's headpiece too! in this piece
I AM SO GLAD SOMEONE ASKED ABOUT IT. :D (so I can fangirl for a while over little trips of research I did)
Josie's headpiece is actually inspired by a regional Italian style from Lombardy (the region where Milan is, North, just above the peninsula)! Antiva is clearly Venice (motion: allow me to gift some spritz to Zevran in Origin), and back in the day Venice and Milan were biting at each other's neck... But the Inquisition symbol, so spiky, reminded me a lot of this hairstyle, very popular in XVII century Lombardy and featured in one of our most famous novels ever, Alessandro Manzoni's the Bethroted:
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This hairstyle is very typical of the areas north of Milan, comprehending the surroundings of Como, Lecco, Varese and the Brianza (the area between Milan and the lakes). It was worn in special occasions and festive days by young girls who were of suitable age for marriage, but still unmarried.
It consists of long braids collected on the back of the head in a chignon, pinned in place with a long metal rod on the base -called a "sponton"- and decorated on both hands, and a set of long pins called "spadinn" ("little swords") placed to form a fan/crown/halo shape.
The material of the pins varied according to the possibilities of the family: froom the cheapest wood, to copper and brass, going up to silver and even gold. The outer extremity of the pins also were more or less decorated, the richest could have pearls and filigree, the poorest had just a wider concave shape similar to a spoon (and indeed they were also called "cugiaritt", little spoons).
The number varies from town to town and family to family, there's a range going from 24 to 47 (!) in Lecco, or 30 to 40 in Varese, and the tradition went that parents gifted one pin to their daughter from their First Communion (Catholicism yay, it usually happens when you're 10/11), and one for each birthday until they married.
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A postcard featuring a girl from Lombardy in traditional dress.
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This tho is Empress Charlotte of Mexico, an Habsburg princess, with a traditional Lombardy hairstyle! (most of the north of Italy, except for Piedmont and Turin, was under Austrian rule by then and until 1861)
This is not typical of Venice, and really Milan/Lombardy and Venezia/Veneto are two separate entities, still I thought that it could be a good way to fit a variation of this, shaping it more like an Inquisition eye... And that's my research pit of today.
All the sources I found are in Italian, unfortunately, but I found this website that explains it in english, with a lot of photos!
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scoonsalicious · 23 days
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Like A Fairy Tale
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader
Summary: Dating Bucky Barnes had been like living a fairy tale, but as he distances himself from you and your relationship, you come to the realization that maybe fairy tales aren't meant to come true.
Warnings: Language to make Steve blush, mentions of alcohol use, implied sex, angst with a happy ending.
Word Count: 3.4k This is my very first posted fic, and I am very nervous but I hope you like it! If I've missed any warnings, please tell me so I can add them. Much love and thanks to my bestie @jmeelee for indulging my obsession and dropping everything to read this when I sent it to her <3 Please pardon any spelling/grammar errors. I write for 18+, so minors DNI. _____________________________________________________________
Once upon a time, being Bucky Barnes’ girl had felt like living in a fairy tale. He was everything your younger self had ever dared to dream of in a Prince Charming– attentive, affectionate, kind, and oh, how he made you laugh! You were the envy of all of your friends, the very definition of #couplegoals, and you thanked your lucky stars every night that the two of you had found one another, despite all the odds.
But fairy tales aren’t real. 
You weren’t sure exactly when it started, but somewhere in the third year of your relationship, after you’d moved into a handsome brownstone in Brooklyn together, after you’d adopted a fluffy white kitten, Bucky started pulling away from you. The steps that took him from you were small at first– he was taking on more and more missions, opting to stay gone for longer periods of time. Days would go by, and they’d turn into weeks, then a month or two at a time would go by where you wouldn’t see him. 
At first, it hadn’t been terrible– Bucky had always made sure to contact you each and every day. A video call whenever he could, a phone call or text when he couldn’t, but slowly, so slowly you barely noticed, the calls stopped coming all together. Sure, he’d answer when you called him… when he could, which wasn’t always possible on a mission, and you hated acting needy and taking him away from his work, so eventually, you stopped reaching out, too. 
When he was home, you were like ships passing in the night. You always offered to take time off of work so you could spend some time with him before he was set to head out again, but he never wanted you to jeopardize your career on his account. Your reunions would always be passionate, but short-lived, a few hot and heavy nights before he took off once more to save the world. 
You tried not to let it bother you. You really, really did. His job was so important. People’s lives relied on him. Where did you get off getting upset over that? So, you kept it to yourself. Until you couldn’t. Not any more.
“Y/N,” your best friend, Lainy, cornered you at her annual New Year’s Eve party, “where’s Barnes? He’s been leaving you to go solo for months now. I don’t think I’ve seen you with him since Mark’s St. Patrick’s Day Party.”
Ouch. “He’s working, Lainy,” you told her, not wanting to admit that March had been the last time the two of you had gone out together, let alone spent more than three days in a row in each other’s company. 
“Yeah, he was ‘working’ over the Memorial Day trip, and the 4th of July BBQ, and Jack and Alice’s wedding, and your aunt’s funeral.” You cringed internally as she applied air quotes to ‘working.’ “And he was ‘working’ on your birthday, and Christmas. Babe, he’s been leaving you alone for almost an entire year. What’s going on? Are you sure there isn’t someone else?”
The worst part was, you knew there wasn’t, or at least, no one individual. When he’d first started distancing himself, of course another woman was the first thing that came to your mind, and you weren’t proud of yourself, but you’d gone through his phone to search for evidence of an affair… multiple times, and repeatedly came up with nothing. And bless Bucky’s heart, but he didn’t have the technological know-how to hide an infidelity from you. Granted, that didn’t negate the possibility that he was randomly hooking up with people while he was away. You’d have to be stupid to not consider the possibility.
You could have asked Steve. You didn’t think Captain America had it in him to lie to you about something like that, but you didn’t want him reporting on your suspicions back to Bucky, nor did you think you could stand to see the look of pity in his eye if he had to tell you that yes, Bucky was cheating on you while you anxiously awaited his return every night. So, you kept the suspicions to yourself. 
Your conversation with Lainy had left you deflated. Here it was New Year’s Eve, and you were alone, the man you loved god knew where– just not with you. How many more holidays and milestones and everyday nights were you going to spend by yourself, waiting for a man who never seemed to want to be home with you anymore? This wasn’t the kind of life you wanted, the kind of life you deserved. 
You made your way to the kitchen to refill your glass of wine. You’d probably already had too many, but you needed to drown the despair that was slowly filling you up. As you poured an exceptionally generous glass, a man entered the kitchen. You recognized him– Harris, a cousin of Lainy’s who had flirted with you relentlessly for years before you had started seeing Bucky. 
“Y/N!” he exclaimed, his eyes lighting up upon seeing you, “it’s been awhile.” He enveloped you in a friendly hug. “How’ve you been?”
You smiled and exchanged pleasantries, catching up on the overall brushstrokes of your life. 
“I’m sorry about your breakup,” he offered gently, after you’d exhausted the usual small talk.
“My breakup?” you asked, brow piqued.
“Last few events I’ve seen you at, you’ve been alone. I assumed you and Barnes…” he left the thought floating, the implication hanging in the air: Barnes has left you alone, I assumed you broke up.
You huffed out a laugh. God. Was your relationship actually over and you were the only one dumb enough to not see it? 
“If you aren’t seeing anyone,” Harris continued, “I would really love to take you out. You’ve gotta know I’ve been into you for ages, and I figure if I don’t shoot my shot now, who knows when I’ll have another chance.”
You cocked your head and looked at him, taking in his earnest demeanor. Here was a man who genuinely wanted to spend time with you. Why were you waiting on someone who no longer wanted to be around?
“Um, I might have to get back to you on that, Harris,” you told him before excusing yourself. You needed air. 
You found yourself on Lainy’s balcony, the air deceptively mild for the end of December in Manhattan. Alone with your thoughts, you pulled out your phone and dialed Bucky’s number. It went straight to voicemail.
“Someone asked me out on a date tonight,” you said into the recording, your voice choked with tears you didn’t want to shed. “And I think I might say yes, because, honestly Buck, what are we even doing anymore? You’re never here, and I’m always alone. I tried. I tried so fucking hard to not let it get to me, because your work’s important. I know that. I do, and I’m not begrudging you for your job. But… but I can’t keep on like this. I can’t even remember the last time we spent more than three days together. Isn’t that crazy? Three days. Everyone thinks you’re cheating on me. Did you know that? You’re away so much that everyone I know is convinced you’re fucking someone else. Maybe you are, or maybe you already left me, but I’ve been too stupid to notice; if that’s the case, you could have just told me.” 
You kept your composure as you left the message. You weren’t angry at him; you never could be. You were just tired. So tired, and so lonely. 
“All I know is that it’s another night where I’m all by myself, wishing you were here, wanting to talk to you, to feel you, and you’re just… not. You’re off doing something, or someone, more important than me, and I used to be okay with that, but I can’t be anymore. I deserve more than waiting on you, Buck. I deserve to be someone’s priority. I really wish I could have been yours, the way you were mine. 
“So, let’s just call it, okay? Your heart’s obviously not in it anymore, and mine is too tired of being hurt and alone. We’ll have to figure out what to do about the house. I’m keeping Alpine, though. You haven’t been here for her, either, and it wouldn’t be fair of you to take her if you’re never going to be around.”
Inside, you could hear the rest of the party as they counted down to midnight. When they reached zero, the night erupted in fireworks, and you could hear cheers and cars honking their horns throughout the city below you.
“Huh,” you said into your phone, “it’s midnight. Happy New Year, Buck. I hope it ends up being a good one for you, and I’m sorry for whatever I did that made you decide you didn’t want to spend this last one with me.”
You hung up the phone and the tears finally fell as you slid down the balcony railing until you were crouched on the floor. You weren’t sure how long you sat there crying, but eventually Lainy found you, wrapping a blanket around your shoulders and ushering you into her spare room. She helped you change out of your cocktail dress and into a spare pair of pajamas, and helped you wash your face before tucking you into bed. She left you with a glass of water and a kiss on the forehead, promising that tomorrow would be better, that the next best chapter of your life was about to begin, but as you drifted into a fitful sleep, you couldn’t find the will to believe her.
You woke the next morning with a throbbing headache, the alcohol and the tears doing nothing but dehydrating you into agony. You grabbed your phone to check the time, but the battery had died in the night. From the slant of the sun coming in from the guest room window, it looked to be late morning or early afternoon. 
You changed back into your dress, thanking Lainy for her help and making a small joke about doing the walk of shame in your clothes from the night before. You avoided her questions about what had happened, promising to go over it at length at the weekend after you’d had some time to process. You weren’t in the best headspace to get into at the moment.
Fortunately, your best friend knew you well enough not to pry, and you said your goodbyes, plans for brunch on Sunday having been made. You weren’t eager to get back home, to be surrounded by reminders of Bucky, when all you wanted was the man, himself. But he was your ex-boyfriend now, you supposed. You were going to have to come to terms with that sooner than later. Besides, Alpine needed to be fed, and you weren’t going to abandon her.
Your keys clicked in the lock as you opened your front door. “Al, baby,” you called, kicking off your heels and closing the door behind you, “Mommy’s home. You hungry, sweetie?”
You began making your way back toward the kitchen when a loud crash from upstairs got your attention. You rolled your eyes; what had the cat knocked over now? 
But then there was the roar of a body barreling down the upstairs hall and toward the stairs, leaving you frozen where you stood. You cast a glance to where you’d left your phone in your purse by the door. Too far away to reach in time to call for help as the intruder came pounding down the stairs. 
A massive figure rounded the corner, nearly knocking you over.
“Bucky?” You blinked, sure your eyes were playing tricks on you, but no– there he stood, and he looked like shit. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days, and his eyes were swollen and red-rimmed. He’d obviously been wearing the same clothing for at least a day, if not more.
“Y/N,” he breathed, throwing his arms around you and wrapping you in an almost bone-crushing embrace. “Sweetheart, I was so worried.”
“What are you doing here, Buck?” you asked him, pulling away from him. God, you wanted to let him hold you, but you just couldn’t. Not anymore.
Bucky cupped your face in his hands, blue eyes desperately searching yours. “I got your message. Doll, it fucking broke my heart. I came straight home, but you weren’t here, and I was terrified that you were gone; that you’d left me for good.”
You scoffed. “I’m not the one who leaves, Bucky.”
He flinched at your words. “I know, Baby. I know, and ’m so sorry. I had no idea. I shoulda known what leavin’ you so much was doin’ to you, ‘cause it was doin’ it to me, too. When I heard you say that people– that you– thought I was cheating on you, that I had neglected you so much you thought I found someone else, that I could ever love anyone else, ever want anyone else– I’ve never hated myself more, doll. I can’t stand that you even had those thoughts in your head for one second, because it’s always been you. There’s never been anyone else. You’re it.”
“Then why have you been gone?” you asked him in a whisper. “If there’s no one else, and I’m it, why don’t you ever want to be with me? Why do you keep leaving?” 
Bucky ran both his hands along his face. “God, it feels so stupid now,” he said with a sigh. “But I was trying to save–”
“Trying to save the world, yeah, I know,” you interrupted him, annoyed. “Trust me, I’m well aware that I can’t compete with that. But I needed to know you thought we were worth saving, too, and you never did.”
Bucky started laughing then, and you scoffed. “Wow, you don’t have to rub it in, Bucky.”
“No, no– Sweetheart, no!” he shook his head. “That’s not it, at all. Hold on.” He went to the foyer and grabbed his go-bag; you had missed it when you walked in. Coming back to the kitchen, he put it on the table, opening it up and extracting a folded piece of paper and handing it to you.
It was a real estate listing for a farmhouse Upstate, with acreage on the Hudson. You and Bucky had talked about what kind of house you would buy if the situation had ever presented itself, and it was almost as if you’d dreamed it up.
You looked from the paper back to Bucky. “I don’t understand,” you told him.
“It needs pretty extensive renovations,” he told you. “I wanted to take on enough overtime to have the money for them and make a good dent on the mortgage, but it needed more work than I originally thought. And, I have to come clean– I haven’t been one hundred percent honest with you about where I’ve been spending all my time.” He looked up at you through his lashes, head bent down in shame.
“But… but, you said there wasn’t anyone else,” you stammered, heart ready to beat out of your chest. 
“Oh god! No, and I mean that! There isn’t, I swear! God, I’ve fucked this up so bad!” Bucky tugged at his hair in frustration. “I’ve been going on extra missions, but sometimes, Sam, Steve, and I go Upstate to do some work on the house, to cut down the costs so I could still make my timeline.”
“You already bought it?” you asked, your voice flat. You were in shock. “You want to move out? Away from me?”
Bucky moaned in distress and drew you to him again. “No! God, I’m doing this all wrong. I want us to move there, together. To make it the perfect house. The perfect home for me, my wife and our stupid fur baby.”
You stilled at his words. “I’m sorry, your what?”
Bucky smiled at you sheepishly as he reached back into his go-bag. “I’ll have you know that I had an entire plan. Was gonna have the house ready by Valentine’s Day. Take you up there as a surprise, ask you properly, but I fucked that up, so…” He brought his hand back out, holding a small burgundy velvet box. He opened it to reveal a vintage engagement ring, a sapphire instead of a diamond. Your favorite stone.
Bucky got down on one knee. “Y/N,” he began as his voice choked up a bit with emotion, “I know I fucked up for the last eight months. I would completely understand if you can’t forgive me, but I need you to know that I love you. I have only ever loved you, and if you let me, I will spend the rest of my life making up for the fact that, even for a moment, I let you think that you weren’t the most important thing in my life, my number one priority. Will you marry me?”
“Buck…” you began, not sure how to phrase what you were about to say. “What about your job? I can’t keep coming in second to the rest of the world, and I get that it’s selfish of me, but–”
“I quit,” he said simply.
“What?” Your eyes were wide with shock at his statement. 
“The second I heard your voicemail, where you said you wanted to call it because I was never there, I told Steve I was done, that I needed to start putting you first. It wasn’t even a question. I’m officially retired.”
Your mouth hung open. You had hoped he would cut down on his missions, but for him to have quit completely… You gently tugged him to his feet, taking the ring box and running a finger across it.
“It’s lovely,” you told him softly. “Absolutely perfect; exactly what I would have picked for myself.” Bucky beamed at you, pleased. “But I can’t accept it.” His face fell as you gently placed the ring back in his hands. 
“Oh,” he whispered, eyes growing glassy. “I… um, I understand. I fucked up, hurt you. I understand if you don’t want to be with me anymore.”
“I still want to be with you, you idiot,” you admonished him. “But you did hurt me, and we’ve been apart for a long time. We need time to find our way back to each other again, okay? Ask me again on Valentine’s Day, just like you originally planned. Don’t do it now just because you fucked up.” You leaned up on your tip toes and kissed him. “And if it helps make you feel better, I’m probably going to say ‘yes,’ anyway.”
Bucky grinned at you. “Really?” he asked. When you nodded, he picked you up and spun you in  a circle before pressing his lips to yours as if he hadn’t touched you in months. “I promise you, Sweetheart, I’ll do anything I can to make this up to you, I swear it.”
“Anything?” you asked with a smile. “I think I know where you can start.”
“Oh yeah?” he asked you. “And where’s that?”
“Take me to bed, Bucky Barnes,” you said, kissing him again.
Without a word, Bucky swung you over his shoulder and ran with you up the stairs, your squeals and giggles echoing behind him.
Much, much later, when you lay sated together tangled in limbs and sheets with Alpine snuggled next to your heads, Bucky played with your fingers as you rested your head on his bare chest.
“So, Doll,” he said, kissing the pads of each of your fingers, “you gonna tell me who had the nerve to ask my girl out on a date?” 
You laughed. “Lainy’s cousin, Harris. I suppose I’ll have to text him now and tell him I’m not interested.”
“Hell no, you’re not interested,” Bucky chuffed. “Gonna have to remind that punk you’ve already got a boyfriend. The position has been filled.”
“That’s the thing, though,” you said, planting a kiss on his nose. “I don’t have a boyfriend anymore, do I?”
Bucky’s face fell. “But I thought you said–”
“I’ve got myself a fiance.”
Bucky tightened his grip around you, drawing you even closer to his warmth. “Yeah, okay. I gotta admit I like the sound of that a lot better.”
Your entire relationship with Bucky Barnes might not have played out like a fairy tale, but in that moment, you were more sure than ever that you two would get your happily ever after.
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sofs16 · 3 months
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let you break my heart again— 1
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yn yln, a middle class american girl who moved to monaco, has done nothing but love charles leclerc, her next door neighbor. yn being practically family to the leclerc’s.
since the moment she was old enough to acknowledge those butterflies in her stomach, it was all coming together in her innocent mind that she was in love.
going together to school every morning with the other 2 leclercs and yn’s older sister, kylie, it was always the giggles of charles and yn that made the 2 older siblings look knowingly at each other. with arthur too young to understand the chemistry between the two.
it was a thursday school night in 2008 when charles kissed yn on the cheek quickly with a rushed “ciao!” before he going to his house to make it to dinner after their hangout.
yn stood still at the front door, her cheek in her hand.
charles always did a kiss on the cheek but it had never felt so… different to yn.
she rushed up the stairs to do her special knock on her older sister’s room. “come in, yn” her sister muttered, buried under the blankets as her 11 year old sister stood in the hallway with tears.
kylie sat up her bed as soon as she saw the bloodshot eyes of her little sister. “what happened? who am i punching?” her sister sobbed into her chest. “i- i don’t know” she hiccuped. “it feels ouchy” she added “what does?” her sister pulled away and examined her
“charles” she whispered her best friend’s name. “did he hurt you? what did he-“ “no! i- he kissed me on the cheek. that’s normal, i know, but i— i don’t know” yn mumbled, embarrassed at her lack of understanding her feelings.
“oh” her sister sighed, combing through her hair. “is it possible… you may have a tiny crush on charles?” her sister asked and everything went silent.
her friends all had a crush on him. she didn’t understand it at the time. but, hello! he is her best friend, she didn’t think she could like charles that way.
In a way, it made sense. though she always shrugged it off when it was brought up. charles had been karting for 3 years already, making him one of the guys all the girls in your year crushed on.
“yn, you’re sooo lucky you’re close to charles!”
“if i was his best friend i’d hang out with him all the time”
“yn, isn’t charles cute?”
it seemed appalling to her that she was feeling this way. “no way.” she whispered. of course her sister wasn’t buying it, but she decided to nod along. “wanna just watch that harry potter movie you love? and talk about it some other time?” her sister reached over to the remote, turning the tv on but all yn could think about was how charles loved harry potter.
the next day in school, charles smiled and waved at yn, like the usual. but this time, yn’s heart was pulling little strings, making it 16 times heavier with love.
she didn’t know it yet, but she was in love.
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liked by charles_leclerc, and 11 others
yn_yln_16 Happiest birthday, Charlie! I am grateful you’re in my life.❤️
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charles_leclerc Je aime, Y/n/n! You are next! october 16, 2009
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liked by yn_jenner_16, and 32 others
charles_leclerc Joyeux anniversaire yn_yln_16! Thank you for being the bestest friend I could ever ask for! view all 7 comments
yn_yln_16 Merci beaucoup, Charlie ❤️ november 3, 2009
yn_yln_16
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tagged: charles_leclerc, lorenzotl, arthur_leclerc, and leclerc_pascale liked by charles_leclerc, and 21 others
yn_yln_16 Throwback post for my favorite boys
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leclerc_pascale 😍
charles_leclerc Cute, cherie!
july 3, 2010
YN • 2012 • 14:03
another friday afternoon you once again headed straight to your sister’s room.
since that night when you were 11, there were many many nights behind closed doors where you would cry to you sister who didn’t need to ask why.
but recently, you haven’t bothered to cry. with no idea didn’t know how to cope with it. ”he’s dating lacy” the name of your best friend ex- best friend rolled off your tongue bitterly.
now at 15, your crush for charles has you bursting with pain the more. more girls fawning over him and he loved the attention.
lacy was everything you wish you could be. but most of all, you wished you were her because charles liked her.
you swallowed the lump in your throat as you saw them giggling down the hall, fingers interlaced. you rushed the the bathroom, quietly banging your head against the stall to suck it up.
you never did have the courage to confess to charles. it was your fault.
“it’s okay, i’ll always be here” your sister hushed you to sleep. even if she had been building her own business, she always had time for you.
“can you wake me up before 8? he’s coming over” you mumbled “i know, it’s friday”
every other friday at 8pm you and charles always binge watched some random movies, occasionally doing homework while watching.
he’s been racing more and that means you see less of him. these friday's were the most you both got to each other. you had bought some snacks 2 days ago with his mom’s weekly grocery run, picking precisely all his favorite snacks.
20:03
you bounced your leg up and down while a pillow was resting on it, dialing charles.
voicemail.
“hey charlie! i just heated the popcorn, where are you? it’s going to get cold… love you”
20:11
voicemail.
“Hey, charlie! I know I just called but are you still coming over? Love you!”
20:23
“hey charles. Are we still on for harry potter night?” you rang him for the 3rd time this hour, receiving yet another voice mail.
21:01
“y/n/n, where’s charles?” your sister was tiptoeing to the kitchen but realized you had no one beside you.
you shrugged with a frown. “did he say where he was?” she sat down beside you as you shook your head. “i’ve been waiting for an hour. left 5 voice mails” you mumbled, clutching the pillow closer to you.
silence filled the room
“yn, stop waiting for him.” your sister whispered. you inhaled as you could tell it was a two pointed comment.
only a handful of times your sister brought this up, you to move on. you would always argue it was too hard and you couldn’t do it. but you just didn’t allow yourself to.
you cared a little too much for charles and it made your stomach turn at the thought.
you let yourself believe all the friendly things he did meant more to him, as much as they did to you. the tucking your hair behind your ear, the little nicknames, the cuddling on movie nights, and much more.
you also let yourself forget he always refers to you as his ‘best friend’.
“i’ve held been there for you for the last 4 years but you are hurting yourself by waiting for him when there are so many boys who would kill to have even one drop of love you give to charles” you bit your lip, looking away to stop the tears, that were pooling in your eyes, from falling.
“i love him so much” you whispered, glossy eyes. “i know…” she embraces you “we all do”
with a heavy heart, you packed up all the stupid snacks you had gotten, switched the tv off, and locked the door.
00:21
Charlie ❤️
Y/n/n I am so sorry. I was out with Lacy and the others and I lost track of time. Can we reschedule? :)
delivered
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Pascale knew from the start regarding your feelings for her middle child. as soon as you fumbled your words, turned tomato red at charles, and kept fixing your hair when he left the room, she knew.
that’s why she found it most interesting when charles came to her for help while she was trimming his hair. “Maman, s’il te plaît please! She is ignoring me and I do not know what to do” Charles groans in frustration. He hasn’t heard from you in 4 days and even in school.
“My Charles, je ne comprends pas i don’t understand. Why did you stand her up in the first place? That girl has been running around the grocery all week for your favorite foods” His maman shook her head in disapproval while trimming his hair.
“It is not like I meant to do it! I do not know how to say sorry in more than 4 languages, Maman!”
“Sometimes actions are more than words, Charles”
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you sighed getting to school, another day to ignore charles and your feelings for him. you opened your locker to find a bouquet of flowers sitting on top of your books.
instinctively, you looked around the hall to who could have put it, but you already had an idea of who. only one person knew your lock combination.
you read the note attached.
Dearest y/n/n,
I know what I did was wrong and I can not tell you how sorry I am so these are flowers for you.
You are my best friend and I am mad at myself for putting other people before us. I promise to always be there for you more.
If you will forgive me, which I hope you do, come to my house at 8 ! :)
I know this letter is not enough but we can talk about it if you come.
Yours, Charlie
before your overthinking started, you were already planning which pajamas to wear. but the thought did start to sink in once the bell rang.
did you really forgive him? were you ready to go back to plastering on a fake smile instead of ignoring him?
though charles was your best friend and you truly don’t want to lose him at all, the short period of time you spent without him pestering your emotions, was the most calm in the last few years.
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you took a deep breath before knocking on the door. “hi”
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— INSTAGRAM FILE
charles_leclerc
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liked by lacy_1998, yn_yln_16, and 98 others
charles_leclerc Back from the first race ever in Kz in La Conca!
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lacy_1998 Hottie 😍
yn_yln_16 Most talented driver ❤️ WDC incoming!
charles_leclerc
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liked by yn_yln_16, lacy_1998, and 102 others charles_leclerc 3rd at the last round of the European Championship in Genk!
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lacy_1998 Next time 1st! yn_yln_16 Proudest of you! Another one for the shelf ❤️
leclerc_pascale ❤️
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#SOF : decided to make it a series 🫠 hope you enjoy and let me know your thoughts or if you want more parts haha
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allmyloveandyours · 8 months
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Bullying, Harassment, and Misunderstanding on Astro Tumblr: Zeldas Notes Edition pt 1. The Catalyst
Hi! Normally I don't like to get myself involved in online drama since, well it's the internet and drama isn't fun. I shouldn't need to explain myself any further.
Recently a well known account @zeldasnotes, has been involved in a bit of drama and has started slut shaming and attacking the character of someone I've recently become friend with for a misunderstanding. This isn't meant to bully her or attack her in any way, however we have recently found out she continues to talk about me, @evangelinesbible, and @d4rkpluto, for the last two weeks. Obviously we have talked about it as well, I'll never deny that, however it's not bullying. She may call this bullying, though.
Obviously that isn't a lot of time but I'd like to get this over with as soon as possible. I believe the only reason she had yet to harass me is because she 1. Doesn't know my Tumblr username and 2. Doesn't have a physical appearance to attack like she does Evangeline.
Before we get started I'd like to give some context to where this conversation happened.
@d4rkpluto made a discord (that is still open btw it's very fun there) that was meant to host a cool yearbook like event for some people in astro tumblr, the cap was put at roughly 20 people. We all tried our best to get to know each other despite some social mismatching such as language barriers (there will be more on that later). Most of us liked to talk about real life problems along with astrology as we were all friends, but Zelda's had become worrying very fast as she would only most post crime (no hate to true crime, but I don't like waking up to messages about a murdered person and how their chart "predicted it", but that's for another part) and her almost insane personal/love life. Eventually, someone decided to ask her about it out of concern. For the record I did not, as I don't know her personally and I seemed like she was someone content with being in bad situations as she never gave a timestamp of the things she talked about.
This is the conversation that occurred when she was questioned about it.
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After that we noticed she left the discord roughly a day later (she probably left right after though), and she blocked/unfollowed everyone but me (lmao), and for that week it became a brief inside joke that if you were acting like Zelda, you we're simply being defensive for no reason.
Now that this part is over,
Pt 2. The DMs
Now this is where we get to the part where I drew the line, where I decided to get on my clicky keyboard and say some shit.
To reiterate, this hasn't been going on for that long. Obviously she was still fresh in our minds and we did bring her up. There was no bullying or lying. Simply a couple of jokes about her being defensive. I will admit, I tried my best to not joke as Zelda is clearly a volatile person and if the small jokes got to her, I figured she'd make a fuss. She did.
On July 26th (fun fact, you can look things up on discord chats) at roughly 10pm she had messaged Evangeline.
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Obviously this doesn't make us look THE BEST (I'm aware), however gossip is a normal and human thing as long as not done in excess (imo, this was the biggest conversation we'd had about her since she'd left).
Now this is where I officially come in. I'm #1 Timeout Champion (thats the TC in my name).
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I was the one who took the screenshots of the discord channel invite post, as I had found it weird she'd made a discord around July 19th soon after leaving ours. Not that it was my business, but it just made me laugh, and I was feeling weird about it. That is the reason likes were talked about.
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I will say this did get made fun of because of what was talked about in the screenshot above, as that was after (check the dates).
Shortly after Eva had received that DM, I'd gotten on call with Eva to make sure she was alright, and she had messaged the discord about the message.
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This is where we all started accusing each other of screenshotting the chat. I do understand if you have friends outside of a discord, and I do understand defending yourself, I'm not policing who can and can't be friends. If someone was gossiping about my friend, I'd do the same shit.
But it got worse.
I apologize beforehand for the cropping as these are from Eva (obviously).
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Keep in mind every DM screenshot I share is sent between 9/10pm-4am for Eva and I while we were on call.
Keep in mind the photo's of Eva's she's referring to are public and things she wore in public and to a concert, a BEYONCE CONCERT, and then posted images of, ON A PUBLIC SITE, SEVERAL might I add.
She did not call Zelda pathetic, but her actions. I believe there is a difference.
I do feel the need to state here that I feel partially responsible for the harassment here, as I try my best to support Eva in any way that I can to achieve her goals, and I did push her to post about herself more as I like her style and think she's pretty. I did not think that it would be brought up in this style.
Because it shouldn't have been. This should've been a civil (albeit catty) conversation of "talking talk about me, please and thank you". I've had these conversations at a younger age and they've gone very well.
But it kept going as Eva defended herself.
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I could be wrong about the screenshot thing, however I did find weird posts asking about where the discord had gone, and Zelda said she didn't have one even thought it was roughly and hour after she'd made the post, along with DMs from someone later about the discord.
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The last bit is talking about this:
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Yeah so they were talking about people they found attractive (Zelda is clearly in the conversation) and Eva was referencing fictional characters. Imma be fr I feel like you can tell she was joking the entire convo was just about their crushes real and fictional, Zelda then talked about someone who was murdered somehow worked that into the convo.
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Just thought I'd include that if we're talking about crushes why the fuck is this shit being brought up but that's clearly more personal opinion.
So that's the entire conversation with Eva. It seemed to just be her trying to get Eva on a nonexistent "gotcha moment" and berating hr for her appearance and making an out of context screenshot more out of context.
Meanwhile in the discord, we'd been trying to figure out who had sent the screenshot, as we should it went from them talking behind the scenes (perfectly fine), getting upset (again fine), and then harassing (not fine) Eva, keeping in mind, Zelda is most likely older than Eva.
Eva being 19, an Zelda being between 22-26 based on her history.
Pt. 3: We figure out who it was this gets no cool title
We thought it was roughly 3 people, two who don't need to be involved and but the last will definitely be mentioned: @a-d-noxd-nox.
The first two people were just people in both Discords, one of us just confirming our convo from earlier when I said it was probably darker topics (which isn't relevant to me). From my perspective, I was fine with Adnox. I hadn't talked to her as much but she seemed okay. I'd wanted to get to know her more and at some point we'd spoken about watching Twilight but that fell through.
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So we kicked out Ad-nox, and figured out it was her through process of elimination. I'll slowly start wrapping it up as around the time we kick Adnox out, Zelda had stopped. We still don't know why Adnox decided to shit on Eva specifically. I would love to know personally, but Eva herself doesn't care.
After that, we decided to let people in as seen in an earlier screenshot. We'd simply wanted more friends and it felt weird having an astrology tumblr, but not having a lot of people being in there.
So obliviously we asked if they mentioned us (we wanted to know), they had fairly recently, and we got this exchange with Zelda and some members of her discord:
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I've cropped them a bit and censored people I don't believe to be relevant but I hate to be the bearer of bad news: No one is bullying you.
No one is mad you started a discord. It was simply funny for reasons stated above.
No one from this situation has sent hate to your inbox. No one cares enough.
No one asked you to post about true crime. I may have interacted with some on a irregular basis because I like to be friendly.\
We have made jokes. Because you lying is funny and Pluto is known for this, same way you're known for doing this shit.
I will once again state: Talking and joking about a situation you're in is human. This is the internet. This is not real life. Slut shaming a girl younger than you and fixating on her body and photos while preaching about being a good person is fuck-awful, along with lying to others about what happened in order to seem like the victim.
You're not a victim. You decided to fight people in the server when asked about why you choose to be in relationships with criminals and hang around generally questionable people. You took it as a personal attack when reaction images were posted. I can understand that may have felt bad at the time, but that;'s the moment we're you send a "Hello, it really hurt my feelings when..." Rather than a "Keep posting those nude photos" conversation. You wanted to your gotcha moment to prove you were right rather an accept this was a situation where no one was the winner.
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Blaming your placements for your behavior will get you, a grown woman, no where. Keeping in mind, your chart is practically Eva and I's combined.
So from people who have a "Scorpio MC" (somethings she's blamed for her behavior), and from someone who has "Mercury square Pluto", it's just you. All of this behavior and the body shaming, the lying, to over exaggerating, it's just you.
You went after Evangeline for a reason. You had an existing relationship with Pluto, in which it seems like you guys were good friends before you did this. It could've been dealt with in a proper and friendly manner, but you chose to make fun of the 19 year old with I assume, a smaller amount of followers, and someone who is less likely to fight you, and someone who won't cause shit.
Great. Good Job.
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dresshistorynerd · 20 days
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Borderline begging you to not erase the gender non conformity of historical women by applying contemporary lenses of gender roles to them. Gender non conforming women existed then and still exist now. Wearing “men’s clothing” does not make me less of a woman and it’s incredibly insulting to see people in 2024 call women “they” and “he” because they wrote extensively about the misogyny they faced on a daily basis and chose to address and protect against by disguising their female form. Clothing does not a gender make—social roles do. Let’s respect historical women by referring to them correctly—not assuming what they would like to be called these days when we have long since dismissed European invert theory.
I'm assuming you are referring to that historical binder post and specifically this part:
Westner was also buried in men's clothing by their own request.
Firstly, I didn't call Ella Westner "he", not sure why you are implying that. I haven't read much about Westner, but I did try to look quickly if we have any record or second hand information of them talking or writing about their gender. I didn't find it, so I don't know what would be the correct way to refer to them. I referred to them with "them" since that is the pronoun in English language when you don't know someone's gender. By all means if you have any evidence to share how they liked to be referred, do share.
This is for all intents and purposes the same ask I got after my Julie d'Aubigny post so I'm going to link my response here (and the answer to the follow up ask) instead of rehashing the same points all over again. But I will rehash couple of main points since it seems they bear repeating. Firstly, I'm not talking about you, you are not Elle Westner and you have just as little access to her mind as I do. I don't have to assume your gender, you said you're a woman, and certainly I believe nothing you do makes you less of a woman. But I can't ask Elle Westner can I? For most historical people, I think it's fair to assume their gender to be the one assigned to them, but if there is evidence that might suggest otherwise, we should not assume. Of course we should neither assume it's not their assigned gender, it's entirely possible it is, but the possibility should not be discarded that their gender is different.
It's a little silly tbh to say I'm erasing gender non-comforming historical women, when literally in the same paragraph I mention how it was quite common for queer *women* to dress in masculine clothing. This is literally what I wrote:
Queer women and trans masc people, who dressed in masculine clothing, (which was pretty common) also sometimes bound their chests, but unsurprisingly that was not exactly celebrated like drag performances were, so there weren't binders made for queer people specifically.
(I admit I didn't mention the "mannish" feminists, who dressed masculinely, but they rarely bound their chests, and like many of them were queer also.)
What I will not do (even if you borderline beg) is to erase trans masc and non-binary people from history. Assuming all historical queer and gnc people were their assigned gender without extensive evidence to the contrary (for some people no amount of evidence is ever enough) effectively erases all trans and non-binary people from history, since the way gender was talked about, understood and allowed to express, was often so different from our current understanding and usually erased from historical evidence. That is in fact imposing our understanding of gender to historical people. Yes some women did cross-dress in order to escape misogyny, but that's certainly not the only reason people cross-dressed. Especially since many of them, those who couldn't or didn't try to pass, faced even more misogyny for cross-dressing, but they did it anyway because they had other reasons to cross-dress. The reason why cross-dressing can be evidence of queer gender identity (though of course as said, there are other possible reasons) especially in 19th century, is because in their culture the understanding of gender was heavily tied to gender expression. Even today, when gender and gender expression are seem much more as separate things, if you see a person who looks like a woman, but is dressed in men's clothing, you shouldn't immediately dismiss the possibility that they might not be a woman. Yes, they might be a woman who for one reason or another likes to dress in masculine clothing, or they might not be.
You say I shouldn't "apply contemporary lenses of gender roles" to historical queer people, but also that I should in this historical context dismiss sexual inversion theory, which was specifically a Victorian lens (shrouded in scientific essentialist terms) to look at queerness. Sexual inversion theory is not biologically true of course, like it was proposed, but really none of our sexuality and gender categories are. Because while there probably is some biological explanations for our feelings of attraction and towards our bodies (which we haven't really found yet), how we built gender and sexuality categories around those feelings is entirely cultural. So while sexual inversion theory is not relevant today, it is still relevant to understand the historical context, since it was an attempt to explain scientifically their cultural construction of gender and sexuality. And of course the flaw with all these cultural categories is that they can not contain and represent the whole breath of human feelings, and will always leave people out in their explanations, which is obviously true with sexual inversion theory (but also for example our identity based model). But the societal understanding of these things also shape how we understand and frame our own feelings.
So briefly, in 19th century queer identities were emerging (not seen as just behavior anymore) and first queer communities were formed. In the texts of Victorian queer writers the understanding of sexuality, expression and gender are all very fluid. Edward Carpenter (a Victorian gay communist) notably wrote about "the intermediate sex" and "transitional men and women" which he understood as a sort of third gender category. Basically his understanding of queerness was conceptually similar to sexual inversion theory, but he came from a non-medicalizing and queer liberation angle (though like his writings were not entirely free of internalized queerphobia but still very revolutionary for his time). He wrote about this third gender category as a sort of spectrum that goes from feminine men interested in men, and masculine women interested in women, to cross-dressing people and people living as opposite gender. Today we might see these ends of the spectrum as more or less gnc gay men and women and trans men and women, which to him were more or less extreme expressions of the same phenomena. This also aligns with broader Victorian understanding of gender and sexuality, as gnc queer people were generally seen as a separate gender category, often, especially in case of queer men and trans fems, called fairies. As said, certainly not all Victorian queer people would have agreed or felt represented by these ideas, but this does give us some understanding how at least some of the queer and gnc people might have understood their gender.
Maybe I will need to make a full post about how I think gender should be handled and studied in history, so I can just link it to when I inevitably get yet another one of these.
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ferrstappen · 1 year
Text
LONG LIVE l Esteban Ocon
(a/n): omg the first installment of the Taylor Swift Collection. I'll admit this one was a bit of a stretch but I just had this idea and needed to get it out! I hope you enjoy it and would love to have your feedback <3
disclaimer: in this au, the reader plays the role Zendaya plays in the franchise.
summary: Esteban Ocon (aka the biggest Spiderman fan, according to himself) tried to bribe his girlfriend, gave her the silent treatment, he called her out during race weekends, but Marvel was just too good keeping their secrets. (actress!reader).
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i) I said “remember this moment” in the back of my mind.
July 2018
When Esteban told his friend Lance that after months of liking every post and Instagram story of the actress playing Michelle Jones on the new Spider Man movies, he slid on her DMs in hopes she would answer, Lance laughed.
No, he didn’t laugh, he cackled.
It was July 2017, the first Spider-Man movie in the hands of Marvel Studios had just dropped and was a complete success, and of course Esteban had his team request a copy to the studios so he could host a viewing on his home theatre. 
He had avoided spoilers and even movie trailers in order to be surprised, most of his friends teased him about it, but he couldn’t careless, even dedicating that entire night to follow and stalk every cast member on Instagram. 
That’s when he noticed the gorgeous actress who played MJ, mysterious and intelligent on screen, and that’s when everything started for him. 
He googled her age, visited her Wikipedia page to see her accolades and projects, he even checked her dating history and the rumors surrounding her relationship with Tom Holland, the actor who played Spider-Man. 
His life went on, months went by where he silently liked her posts, just as another fan of the series and sequels of his favorite superhero, then he was focusing on the 2018 F1 Season, even as things turned ugly with not only having to worry about performing, but also with trying to keep his seat. 
Maybe his Instagram algorithm knew him a little too well when a Marvel fanpage showed on his timeline, announcing filming for the second movie of the Spider-Man sequel was taking place in London and Italy, and between the stress of training, press breathing on his shoulder about his future in Formula 1, he decided to take a risk.
Which takes him to his Canadian friend laughing at him. 
He made his way towards the Williams trailer where Lance was getting ready, not really caring that chances were he was going to take his seat at Racing Point, they were friends. That’s why Lance felt so comfortable staring at his friend in disbelief as he couldn’t stop the giggles that just kept coming. 
“Esteban, why would you subject yourself to being ignored? She’s from Hollywood, there’s no way she even knows who you are.” Lance tried to reason with his French friend, but Esteban shrugged. 
“It doesn’t matter, I know she’s probably not going to see it, but I have nothing to lose. It doesn’t even count as humiliation because we’ll probably never going to meet each other.”
Lance squinted his eyes at his friend. “You can’t have that attitude, dude!”
“But you just laughed on my face!” Esteban argued.
“Yes, because it’s my job as your friend, but at the same time I have to hype you up, you know?” Lance told him, but Esteban suspected he was just being too Canadian. “What did you tell her?”
Esteban sighed and scratched the back of his neck: “If she wanted to attend the British GP since they’re filming there.”
Lance let out a sound of approval. “You know? I think it could work out. Maybe you should find ways to drop how much of a fan of Spider-Man you are during press, you know? Just find a way, and then people will start ‘Oh, this Formula 1 driver is so adorable, he’s such a fanboy’.” The Canadian suggested. 
“How did you even think of that?” Esteban asked, but was interrupted by his iPhone going off, his engineer asking him where he was.
He didn’t get to talk with Lance again, just throwing himself on the hotel bed while his eyes were already closing due to stress and jetlag. Forcing himself off the bed to take a shower and then going to bed, checking his phone for one last time. 
His verified account worked in a weird way he still wasn’t able to fully grasp, only notifying him when other verified accounts messaged him or followed him.
And that’s what happened. 
Hey Esteban! I’m so sorry it’s taken so long to answer but ive been a bit busy. 
Attending Silverstone would actually be such a great time, is the invite still up? 
In case it is, this is my agent’s email so your people can give him the details ;)
The French read and reread the message at least ten times, not knowing if his mind was playing tricks with him, but when he read this notification, he gasped and dialed Lance. 
“LANCE!”
@(YNLN) started following you. 
ii) I was screaming “long live that look on your face”
(Y/N) thinks that Esteban exaggerated how much of a Spider-Man fan he was. They were officially dating now, so she figured it would eventually play down. 
God, was she wrong…
With the 2018 season finally over and Esteban not having a seat for 2019, he leaned heavily on her, even if he knew he was going to be under the wing of Mercedes for the time being, it wasn’t easy. 
She saw he was kind of down and with more free time than usual, plus they were still living the sweet first months of their relationship, so she surprised him with a guest pass and paper bracelet to allow him in the premises and set, leaving in on the table of her apartment while waiting for him to arrive for their movie date.
“Bebé, what is this?” He asked once he stepped inside your apartment, an envelope with his name written and an official Marvel stamp on it. He didn’t know what it was, but a grin was already starting to form. 
“Hello, Este. How are you? Did you miss me? Because I really missed you.” The actress placed her arms around his waist, shaking as his body trembled with a laugh before he leaned down to leave a caste kiss on her lips. 
“Of course I missed you, MJ.” He said and she playfully laughed at his nickname. “So, what is this?” He picked up the envelope. 
“It has your name on it, doesn’t it?” 
Esteban carefully moved from the embrace of his girlfriend and opened his gift, not even trying to hide the gasp that escaped his lips once he realized what was inside, carefully reading the letter inviting him to set, signed by Kevin Feige and Jon Watts, the director. 
“No, bebé… Is this for real?” He said with his accent getting thicker with excitement. 
“I think so.” She smiled before he kissed her, literally sweeping her off her feet. 
He knew he’d have to keep a low profile, the public not knowing yet about their relationship, the only one he had confided in was Lance, and now people in Mercedes knew, so it wouldn’t be long before the cat was out of the bag, but he was waiting for his girlfriend to feel comfortable to break the little comfy bubble they’d created.
They were in Venice when a black Mercedes picked them up at 4 AM, but he didn’t care. The street was closed and cameras were being placed, people walking all around as if it wasn’t the middle of the night and freezing. 
He knew it was cheesy, but the set lit up when she walked in. People greeted her all around, dozens of people and she stopped for each one of them, asking for their families and how was the hotel they were staying at. And the fact that he got to walk hand in hand with her, carefully carrying one of her bags, he was on cloud nine. 
But it got better. 
A British accent called (Y/N)’s name as they were approaching the luxury trailers parked not so far away from the set installed on the Italian streets. Of course Esteban recognized the accent, holding his girlfriend’s hand a little tighter. 
“Tom, this is Esteban, the guy you’ve been hearing so much about.” She said with a playful roll of her eyes, earning a chuckle from the brit as he extended his hand. 
“Pleasure to meet you, mate. I saw you during the Austin circuit, it looked sick!”
“I’m a big fan of your work, you’re the best Spider-Man,” Esteban said and his girlfriend just started to realize that maybe it wasn’t a play, he really was a huge fan. “And you’re always welcome on the paddock, just let me know.” Esteban said and Tom thanked him before being called to his trailer, telling the couple that they should go with the rest of the cast and other friends to have dinner.
“So… You’ve been talking a lot about me?” Esteban asked (Y/N), playfully raising his eyebrows and leaving a kiss on her hair. 
ACTION!
Esteban eyes followed as Peter Parker walked around the wrecked set, everything was wet and upside down, and he was in awe as he noticed (Y/N) making her way into the scene, questioning her friend if he was fine. 
Even if he couldn’t fully comprehend the dialogues or what was happening, his eyes were fixated on her, as she gave his co-star the same caring and sweet eyes that she gave him in real life, and he felt like the luckiest man on earth. 
The day was so great that they ignored the few tabloids that picked up the Instagram post of the Holland siblings, the happy couple, and other members of the cast when they went to dinner to a nice small restaurant. 
“Are Spider-Man star and F1’s star Esteban Ocon dating? We have the details from inside sources!”
 iii) When they gave us our trophies, and we held them up for our town.
Hungaroring, 2021
Every reporter went crazy when they saw (Y/N) driving a Land Rover with Esteban Ocon as her co-pilot, smiles on their faces as they pretended to ignore the hundreds of flashes capturing their faces through the tinted windows. 
They’d been dating for almost two years, but still hadn’t confirmed anything. Of course people knew; everyone involved in F1 and Marvel knew they were official since 2019, and of course their fans were aware they were together after seeing pictures of them together all the time, but no one has managed to capture even the slightest form of PDA between them, which made people still think they were friends… Very close friends. 
But there was something about this weekend that made them act more carefree, holding hands when they got out of the car, not caring if paparazzi got low-quality, grainy photos of the showing the tiniest bit of affection. 
The actress pecked his lips before he went to his driver’s room to get ready, engineers rapidly approaching him to talk a few things over. 
Time flew by and soon she was giving him one last hug and good luck kiss before he got in the car. 
“You know, this is pretty dangerous…” Esteban dramatically said, earning a grin from his girlfriend. 
“Estie, no.”
“But… I’m your boyfriend. You can trust me!” 
“It’s a secret, only a couple more months to go and you’ll watch it. Trust me, you’ll enjoy it more not knowing what’s gonna happen… Plus, I know you’re going to tell Lance whatever I tell you.”
“Is the multiverse theory true?” She was tempted to tell him something, but she always chose against it, having signed too many NDAs.
Just as she was going to answer, Esteban was called to get in the car before the race. 
“I love you, Este. Drive safely, okay?” (Y/N) got on her tiptoes and kissed him softly, like it was just the two of them. 
“Je t’aime beaucoup, bebé.” 
She became accustomed to the roaring of motors, the smell of gasoline and the rush of a pit stop, but that didn’t mean the worried butterflies on her stomach calmed down, she still bit her nails while listening to his radio and watching him overtake his rivals. His parents were the same, eyes not moving from the screen.
But today, it was a different kind of anxiety. She was on the edge of her seat, the fresh coat of nail polish chipped as everyone in the garage started realizing that they were going to win. The first for the team and for Esteban. 
She couldn’t stay seated during the last four laps, completely aware that F1 cameras were paying more attention to the Alpine garage, wanting to get the best reactions, and obviously she was there, but she couldn’t care less. 
It became real during the last lap, mechanics and engineers running to greet their driver on their maiden win.
Esteban parked the car and got out, jumping right into the awaiting arms of everyone involved, his face was one of pure disbelief, his eyes glassy with unshed tears and shaky hands.
She was holding your phone as his mom and dad went to hug him and congratulate him, wanting to immortalize the moment after so many years and sacrifices. Of course she loved his parents, but she wanted the moment to be over to hug him and congratulate him.
And that’s what happened when he noticed her. He noticed that he didn’t really know how to approach her, knowing cameras were filming their every movement and being broadcasted.
That’s why she took the matters in her own hands. Her hand went to cup his face, his arms found their home on her waist as he lifted her and kissed her. It wasn’t a pretty kiss, they were trying to pour every feeling, knowing words wouldn’t do it justice.
“Babe, I’m so proud of you, congratulations. Shit, I don’t even know what to say!” They laughed and went for another short kiss, people around them cheering. 
“You know what a great prize would be?” He asked her, gently placing her back on the ground. 
“Not a chance, Estie.”
(YNLN) just posted.
(YNLN): GP winner/king of my heart/love of my life @estebanocon
iv) Long live the walls we crashed through, how the kingdom lights shined just for me and you. 
Sadly, Esteban wasn’t afraid to admit he pleaded his girlfriend to show him the new Spider-Man script. He tried to bribe her with silly gifts, gave her the silent treatment. His last resort was to call her out during race weekends. 
“Esteban, we are living the last races of the 2021 season and you seem alone, did you girlfriend leave you for Peter Parker yet?” The interviewer asked him laughing, making Esteban smile. 
“Yes, she is in the middle of her press tour for the latest movie.”
“I don’t remember many movies creating this level of hype and mystery, do you have any inside details?”
“Don’t even get me started,” Esteban answered, his accent getting thicker. “I don’t know anything, she has kept everything a secret. I’ve pleaded, I even spoke with her co-stars and they told me (Y/N) warned them to not tell me anything! Not even after I offered full-access paddock passes!” Esteban was  shooting his last shot to get any information, even if it meant exposing his girlfriend. 
“Interesting, Marvel is that good keeping secrets, huh? We hope to see you on the red carpet. Good luck on the race! Esteban Ocon, everybody!” 
“You are shameless!” That was the first thing Esteban heard after he picked up the FaceTime call from his girlfriend. 
“Oh, you saw it?” He asked her nonchalantly, like it wasn’t a big deal. 
“You just have to hang on a couple of weeks and you’ll see it. Babe, I have to be back with the interviews soon, but I was told you can bring a plus one to the premier.”
“Am I not your plus one?” Esteban asked confused. 
“Nah, people like you too much now. We can walk the red carpet together, though!”
Esteban smiled at the sight of her perfectly dressed girlfriend. “No, it’s your moment, wouldn’t want to steal it with my perfect height and handsome looks.” He joked, earning a loud laugh from her, his favorite sound. 
She was right, time flew by. Now Esteban was admiring as people worked on her dress and makeup. Someone was fixing his hair for one last time before they left the fancy hotel room. 
Paparazzi were already lining up outside the hotel, waiting for them. They smiled before the valet got the car. She gave him a weird look, seeing a sports car, very similar to his Alpine car, with no one inside. 
“You didn’t think I was going to let someone else drive you, right?” He offered his arm and opened the door for her, helping her with the dress and leaving a kiss on her hand before walking towards the pilot seat. 
She couldn’t stop smiling, resting her hand on Esteban’s thigh during the short ride as he expertly drove, eyes not leaving the road to interlace their fingers. 
“Chérie… You have one last chance.”
“Esteban!” She stared at him in disbelief. 
“Can’t blame a fan for trying.”
Esteban would never tell her, but it was completely worth it in the end. His eyes couldn’t leave the screen for a second, too enthralled by the story being played in front of him, not even noticing the nervous eyes of his girlfriend, she wanted him to enjoy it because, as she found out during the time loving him, he was not exaggerating how much of a fan he was.
She noticed how he didn’t even try to hide the tears and the gasps during the movie, he probably didn’t notice how his grip on her hand got tighter every time a twist happened. Tears were falling freely as he watched his girlfriend on screen, playing what he thought was the saddest scene on modern cinema. 
He was the first one on his feet to start the stand-up ovation in the movie theatre. He didn’t care about anything when the lights were turned on, his only worry being softly kissing her lips while people around them were still cheering. 
“Shit, I still can’t believe he pulled it off…” 
That was Lance, shaking his head and taking a picture with his iPhone to show it at their wedding, knowing that Esteban and (YN) were endgame, even if he made fun of Esteban.
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Text
seven - p.b | chapter two: cruel summer without you
seven masterlist
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∘°∘♡∘°∘pairing∘°∘♡∘°∘
paige bueckers x fem!childhoodbsf!oc!charlotte
˚₊‧✩word count✩‧₊˚
2.1k
・゚✧themes✧・゚
slow burn best friends to lovers homoerotic friendship baby gay paige who doesn't know she likes girls yet fluff (for now)
Charlotte’s Point of View
With less than 2 full weeks left before the start of school, Paige and I were determined to make the most of what little time we did have. Thankfully, preseason high school basketball had wrapped up in early July, so she had a lot less on her plate. They still practiced when they could and had to be in the weight room almost every morning, but summer games ended to give gym space for volleyball. I swear she spent at least 8 hours in the gym everyday in June between finishing the AAU season, training for the FIBA cup, and the rigorous schedule that her high school coach had put together. Sure it was hard never getting to see her, but this wasn’t anything new.  Paige’s dedication to her game was one of the things that I loved most about her. There was something so special about the way that she played. I could sit and watch her shoot for hours and I probably have. 
We spent the first two days since her return just lounging around her house. The outside world seemed to fade away when I was with her. Text went unanswered. Instagram posts were unliked. When I was with her, my  world seemed to revolve around her, and I certainly didn’t mind. She filled me in on all of the shenanigans she got up to in Thailand. Knowing that Azzi hadn’t been there, brought me some sort of relief as I listened intently to the words that left the blonde's mouth. Her room echoed with laughter as she recounted the fantastic trip. The girls had gotten her hooked on Fortnite, which she insisted she was the greatest at. She tried to teach me, but I was absolutely terrible which only elicited more laughter. 
There was so much that I wanted to tell her. That I needed to tell her. The words just couldn’t seem to find their way out of my mouth. I wanted to tell her all of the things that I had figured out about myself this summer, yet somehow it just seemed wrong to. I’d never kept anything from her, but this just didn’t seem like something that I could tell her. So, I kept my mouth shut as I listened to her tell me every last detail of her trip. That night by the bonfire would be a moment reserved for me and the girl I would likely never speak to again. 
Drew came into her room a few times. Paige couldn’t bring herself to kick him out, so she let him hang out with us. We all watched his favorite Disney movie, Cars, which ended with him fast asleep on top of Paige. This was a pretty common occurrence in the Bueckers household. Watching Paige interact with Drew never failed to melt my heart. She somehow managed to find the perfect balance of being fun and goofy with him while looking out for him and keeping him safe. It was one of the many many things that I loved about Paige Bueckers. Family always came first.
 After nearly 10 years of friendship, our families had become intertwined. She spent every Wednesday night at the dinner table across from my siblings. That’s just how it was. My family was hers and hers was mine. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Carson, my older brother, always looked after Paige and I when we were little. He was always down to play whatever made up game we came up with.  He drove us anywhere that we wanted to go as soon as he got his license.  He always joked that Paige and I would have to return the favor once he had kids of his own. His other favorite joke was that he was going to be the ring bearer in our wedding which he claimed was inevitable. This always made Paige a little bit more defensive than I liked. Our relationship was often the subject of frequent speculation and questioning. Paige’s basketball status and more masculine appearance raised suspicion about her sexuality which she quickly shut down. I found it funny when people assumed that we were dating. I couldn’t really blame them considering how much time we spent together. 
I looked up from the book that rested in my hand as I heard a familiar groan leave her lips. She’d put Drew to bed over an hour ago. Her parents were out for the night which left her in charge. Since she finished her big sister duties, her attention has been wrapped up in the stupid game that I had no ability to comprehend. She’d likely forgotten that I was even there. Now, she’d lost 3 rounds in a row. Her frustration led her to dramatically flop onto her mattress. She laid face down for a moment before moving to rest her head on my shoulder. 
“Whatcha reading?” she asked with a yawn. 
“Nothing you would be interested in.” I teased, closing the book and setting it on her already cluttered nightstand. She rolled her eyes at me before pulling me into her. 
“You’re lucky I still put up with you.” she mumbled as her eyes fluttered closed. 
“Oh please Bueckers. You’re lucky I still put up with your sassy ass.” 
“Whatever. Can we just go to bed?” I nodded almost immediately. I was almost as tired as I imagined she was. She turned off her lights before crawling under the covers. It didn’t take long for us to become a mess of tangled limbs under her purple comforter. Moments like these made me wish that I could stay in this bubble forever.
It wouldn’t be long before we were dragged back into reality. My summer was a busy one too. Between getting my college applications ready for early admissions in the fall, tutoring kids in summer school, and my job as a nanny for two adorable little girls, I hardly had time to miss her. I found a way though. It was always the little things that caught me off guard. I would be doing my laundry and find one of her hoodies that I couldn’t help, but slip on. Or I would be driving and one of her favorite Drake songs would be on the radio. Our lives had become so intertwined over the years that it was impossible not to see her in every aspect of my life. I’d know the blonde for 10 years. Every part of my life was marked by her somehow. Little reminders of her presence followed me everywhere. Even after weeks of her absence, my room still smelled like her. I liked that. It was like coming home to your warm bed after a long day. 
Flashback to 1 month earlier at Charlotte's family beach house
Charlotte’s Point of View
Being here without Paige felt wrong. We’d spent at least a week here together every summer since we met. We’d built sandcastles in the soft sand. We spent hours in the pool until my mom had to drag us out. I’d followed her around as she chased sand crabs after the sun had set.  She’d gotten sunburned no less than 50 times on the porch that I now sat on. Alone. I could still see where our initials were carved in the wood. A 10 year old Paige had insisted that as long as our initials were there, we would always be best friends. My fingers traced the indented wood as I laid in the warm summer sun. I missed her. My daze was interrupted by my idiot brother and his dumbass friends. One of them made his way over to me.
“Hey Charlie,” he smirked before attempting to throw his arm around me. I rolled my eyes as I ducked away from his hold, turning my attention back to the book that rested in my lap. He took notice of my actions and kept his distance. 
“Someone’s having Paige withdrawals,” Carson teased before pulling his shirt off to hop into the pool. This only made me roll my eyes more. He wasn’t wrong. Everything felt off the whole summer. The shell that Paige had worked so hard to drag me out of was now fully intact. I’d spent the whole week at the house while Carson went out nearly every night. Some small part of me had hoped that Paige would call or text me. She rarely did. I knew she was busy and had a million things on her plate, yet it still stung when she left me on delivered. Going out was always more of Paige’s thing anyway. I was never big into the party scene no matter how hard Paige tried to get me into it. “Come out with us tonight.” My brother pleaded. I wanted to say no. I should have said no, but being in the house all alone just meant missing her. If I missed her anymore, I think it might as well have killed me. So I decided to go with them. It didn’t hurt that the annual bonfire was that night. 
“Sure, but only for a little while,” I conceded. 
“I think it’ll be good for you. You need to stop thinking about your little girlfriend,” He teased, which prompted me to elbow him in the ribs. He knew that Paige and I were just friends, but he never missed an opportunity to make fun of me. Luckily the heat in my cheeks could be excused as a result of the bright sunshine. The boys hung out around the pool for most of the afternoon while I headed inside to get ready. 
Paige would have absolutely destroyed me for how long it took me to get ready. She really would take any opportunity to make fun of me. It just felt like a big night for me. Can you really blame me for wanting to look my best? I finished smearing lip gloss over my lips, taking one last look in the mirror before meeting my brother at the car. Before I could leave, I heard a soft knock. My mom leaned against my doorway with a sweet smile on her lips. I returned the smile which invited her into the room. I turned to face the mirror again as she stood behind me, hands resting on my shoulders. 
“You look beautiful sweetheart.” She said softly. “I just wanted to check in with you. I know it’s hard being here without Paige. Eliza was just telling me how much she missed playing spikeball with her.” I giggled as I thought about Paige and Eliza playing on the beach. They were both equally competitive which made it quite the sight to behold. My sister had about just as much sass in her 11 year old body as Paige did. The two of them could bicker for eternity. But when it came down to it, Paige would be the one to carry her to bed after she fell asleep on the blonde. This only prompted more annoying jokes about how she was “trying to steal my girl”. 
“Yeah, I just wish she was here. I have no idea what I’m going to do when she’s all the way in Connecticut.” I mumbled. I didn’t like to even think about what next year would hold for us. Paige had already committed to play basketball half way across the country. 
“I know honey, but Paige is always going to be family. Just try and have a good time tonight.” I wiped a stray tear that I hadn’t even noticed falling from my eye before standing up to hug the woman behind me. My mom was probably the sweetest woman in the whole world. I hoped to one day be as smart and kind as her. My brother came in to see if I was ready to go, but he couldn’t help making a comment about me needing to ‘not show as much skin’ which my mother quickly brushed off. He was just your stereotypical overprotective older brother. Between him and Paige, it was a miracle that I’d even talked to a guy let alone had my first kiss. 
That night left me with a lot of things to think about. Things that I wished I could talk through with my best friend, but something in me told me it would be better to keep them to myself. I made the right decision going out that night even if I left with more questions than answers, but that’s a story for another day.
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seelestia · 1 year
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So…after ripping my heart out with that multi fic…can I request a fluffy one with them celebrating s/O bday? As it was my bday recently I’d love to know what they’d do.
— 𝐀 𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝐓𝐎 𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑.
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SUMMARY. a birthday gift from your lover already bests any other gifts that hopes to rival.
CHARACTERS. xiao, venti, kazuha, heizou, zhongli, albedo, gorou, itto, scaramouche, ayato, childe, diluc, thoma, kaeya.
GENRE. fluff, crack-ish, a smidgen of angst (childe + diluc), established relationship.
CW. use of pet names (ayato + kaeya), mentions of food (heizou + itto + gorou), implied desire for marriage (childe + diluc).
THOUGHTS. this was sent in july, so happy belated birthday to you, anon 🎉 since october is my birthday month, so i thought posting this now is fitting! hehe, take this and a bandage as a birthday present from me <3
✰ masterlist.
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A quiet day spent away from his duties and by your side. XIAO knows he cannot throw you a merry celebration, so the only gift he can offer you is his presence. Even if he doesn't admit it, the Yaksha always notices the brief flicker of loneliness in your eyes whenever he leaves to tend to his duties. Yes, he doesn't understand why mortals celebrate these occasions but he knows that today is a special day — your special day — so, fine, he'll do it. Whether it be strolls through Liyue Harbor or a table for two with Almond Tofu on it, Xiao will try for you.
An invitation to spontaneous travels. "Let's let the wind lead, shall we? Hehe," is what VENTI tells you. You pointedly ask him if it's because he doesn't actually have a plan in mind, but he only pokes out his tongue at you playfully. Now, where would you like to go? Somewhere in Mondstadt? Or perhaps, Liyue? He'd love to brag about you to that old blockhead (read: Zhongli). To him, anywhere is fine as long as you're happy! And at the end of the day, Venti will let you rest your head on his lap as he strums a tune on his lyre that he dedicates to you.
Cuddles under the night sky, finding patterns amongst the stars. As the lover of a certain wandering samurai aboard the Crux, your birthday was celebrated flamboyantly with a toast raised to you by Beidou herself. But in KAZUHA's humble opinion, he prefers this more; when the moon is at its peak and only the echoes of the ocean waves remain, when the crew is long asleep except for you and him. Kazuha relishes in your smile that is as peaceful as the moon above as he traces patterns onto your skin. In the back of his mind, he can't help but thank the world for allowing him to cross paths with you.
A game of finding notes leading you to your awaiting partner. Don't be shocked when you wake up to find a mysterious note with a familiar handwriting that is awfully similar to a certain detective's. When you arrive at the location the clues point to after walking around for almost an hour, you are greeted by the cheeky grin on HEIZOU's face. "You've arrived, my assistant! How was the journey here? Exciting? Fun?" But sight of the picnic basket in his hand catches your attention first. He laughs, "What, you don't expect me to prepare a reward for you? I'm not that cruel, y'know," pressing a playful kiss to the corner of your lips. "Katsu Sandwiches made by yours truly!" Heizou tells you this very, very proudly.
A specialized tea set made with you and him in mind. Sitting across from you on a table at Third-Round Knockout with a cup of tea in his hand, ZHONGLI doesn't think he has ever felt so incomplete without such routine. He wonders if you feel the same? But rather than asking, he decides to present you with a gift on this special day. A teacup embedded with pieces of Cor Lapis, a teacup adorned with gems that resemble your eye color, and a teapot inspired by both designs; and by the way your eyes lighten, he assumes it is safe to say that your answer is "yes". Good, he spent some time saving up Mora for this occasion. (Hm, you're laughing, did he make a joke?)
A bouquet of charmed flowers to remind you of him, always. The cold of Dragonspine is a persistent plague that hauls people away, so the Chief Alchemist doesn't expect you to brave the cold merely for him. Yet, ALBEDO also begins to miss seeing the smile on your face before his very eyes. Amidst his longing for you, he crafted you a bouquet of Cecilias using his knowledge on alchemy. But this one isn't like the others, no, this bouquet is made to last longer. Albedo hopes you'd smile every time you look at it — and he hopes you know, that whenever he comes down from his lab to Mondstadt, you will always be his first destination.
Slices of cakes in various flavors. Before you scold him for the excessiveness, just know that he was trying to pick out the perfect flavor for you — but, but his indecisiveness got in the way! This one, that one, GOROU was already dizzy just from seeing the array of selections. He didn't want to disappoint you, so he picked the most fail-safe (and expensive) plan which is to buy a slice of each flavor. Hence, why you looked at him as if he grew two heads when he came home with not one, but many cake boxes in his arms. Can you blame him for being overly considerate, though? At least, the two of you can share!
A (mini) feast hosted by the Arataki Gang in your name. Of course, what better way to celebrate than a merry feast? Especially when it's for the most amazing and coolest person (you share that title with him, he insists) on Teyvat! ITTO's enthusiasm is so beyond the roof he spilled the news about the surprise party the gang planned for you before the date even came ("Well, it's not much of a surprise now," Shinobu shakes her head). But as long as you get to enjoy some Roasted Lavender Melons with Itto and the rest of the gang while they sing their own version of the local birthday song for you, you're more than satisfied.
Anything you asked for that day. What do you expect? Of course, he didn't prepare a gift. Why should he? It is stupid to celebrate such a meaningless date, anyway. And yet, as headstrong as he is, SCARAMOUCHE still relents (something he absolutely blames your annoying puppy eyes for) and allows you only one wish. You want a gift? So, pick one. He'll grant it, but expect a few grumbles here and there. (Why bother preparing a surprise when you can just directly ask the person what they want? You lowlives are so weird.)
A candle-lit dinner with his hand placed on top of yours. If he were to be honest, AYATO has been looking forward to this for a long time. Some ponder whether it's because he gets to take a break from work or to spend some alone time with you — well, who says it can't be both? But there is one thing you have to say; "I can't hold chopsticks without my dominant hand," you whine, gesturing to said hand that is trapped in Ayato's grasp like a cage. He chuckles innocently, "Oh, you offend me, dear. You act as if I can't feed you myself." Somehow, you can't help but feel like Ayato is spoiling you more than usual. Well, it is only a fitting treatment for the star of today, don't you think? Now, let him do the honors of pampering you.
A stuffed toy version of the 11th Harbinger himself. Call him smug, but CHILDE thinks he looks quite cute as a doll. Besides, Teucer also has one named Mr. Cyclops, so wouldn't it be nice to have matching stuffed toys with your future little brother-in-law, no? Hehe. In truth, Ajax hopes this toy would fill in his absence for a while when 'work' summons him. He wants you to remember him for all the smiles he showed you, not for the sins he committed nor the blood he shed — but hey, no more sad stuff on this day! And you know what? Maybe, he'll order a stuffed toy version of you too... Aha, a good present idea for next year! Oh, you heard that? Hehe.
Matching lockets that have his initial and yours etched on them. You don't think you could ever forget; the look in DILUC's eyes, the subtleness of his fingers as he places the locket around your neck. The metal feels cold against your skin, but his hand that reaches up to cup your cheek makes up for it in warmth. "Happy birthday," he utters with a smile so gentle that you melt into him. In the back of his mind, Diluc wishes he could just go down on one knee and present to you the wedding band he has kept on his person for months now. But not now, when there is so much to take care of, when he barely has time to come home these days — for now, these lockets will have to do. Until then, he hopes you can wait for him... Will you?
A day where your loving boyfriend reminds you why he is a retainer. No, no, no work for you on your birthday! Household chores? Let him. Errands? He'll do it! If THOMA is already well-known for how accommodating he is, then double that for today. It's for you, after all! Even his own employer, Ayato chuckles amusedly after saying something along the lines of "lovebirds". Well, in Thoma's humble defense, he is only treating you as how you deserve to be treated. Don't worry, he won't overexert himself... You're so cute when you worry but if it's for you, exhaustion is nothing to him and he means it.
A romantic impromptu dance underneath the moonlight. The streets are quiet at this time of night, but KAEYA's footsteps echo as he performs a formal bow. He flashes you a grin and holds out his hand, "Dance with me, my love?" You hesitate for a moment and the Calvary Captain laughs, "Come on, no one is watching. Considering it's your birthday, it'd be the utmost honor if you accidentally step on my shoes." Flatterer, you want to shake your head at him — but the way Kaeya gazes at you afterwards invites a smile to your lips instead. Somehow, you know that his words are deeper than just mere flattery. You finally place your hand in his and you swear, this impromptu dance has already made you forget any other gifts you received today.
─ ⊹ ⊱ ・・・・・・☆・・・・・・・⊰ ⊹ ─
✰ TAGLIST: @meimeimeirin @tsuk4sa-yug1 @hcikazu @catcze @semi-orangeapple @yuuki4646 @d-a-r-k-s-w-a-n @dearcalis @leon-to-sayaka @coquettemaiden — [ bolded names are unable to be tagged + register here to be a part of my taglist! ]
© SEELESTIA, oct 2022. do not repost, plagiarize, translate nor claim as your own.
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infinitywrites · 7 months
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I Didn't Expect You Part 4 ~ Conrad Fisher
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(Part 3) (Masterlist) (Part 5)
gif credit @laurens-german
synopsis: Y/N never expected it to be the summer that everything changed. Conrad, Belly and Steven were all dealing with the consequences of recent break ups while Jeremiah's wasn't acting like himself. Susannah was undergoing treatment that provided unpredictable health results and kept her loved ones on the edge of tragedy. Had they drained the well of the magic of Cousin's beach? Or could something new fulfil it again?
warnings: multichapter slow burn, warnings will update with every chapter, timeline is both POST S2 and a retelling of S2 with changes, everyone swears A LOT, 4th of July party, ANGST between Jeremiah/Conrad, ANGST between Conrad/Y/N, Nicole (sorry to this Queen), Conrad's friend Danny (made him into my own thing), hints of Belly/Jeremiah, I don't know shit about sports
word count: 4,141
___________________________________________
I feel like no one wants me
And I hate the way I'm perceived
I only have two real friends
'Cause I love people I don't like
All I did was try my best
Ego crush is so severe
God, it's brutal out here
Got a broken ego, broken heart
I decided I needed sustenance before heading into the lion's den and popped a bacon wrapped scallop in my mouth. Nicole sidled up next to me in no time, refilling her plate.
"Someone's got game." Her voice was low, unassuming and her eyes were focused on the desserts when I looked at her.
I almost spit out my margarita, "You're kidding, right?"
She giggled, "Nuh uh. I got to watch you in action twice now. Danny was eating out of the palm of your hand and even Cam looked weak."
"OhmiGod, Cam is Belly's ex!"
Nicole shrugged, "Okay, fair but I don't blame you for Danny cause he's definitely been working out." Our eyeline shifted to where he was laughing with Jeremiah and Steven.
"He's at school for a baseball scholarship, of course he works out." Her look of unabashed thirst would never not amuse me.
"Fuck, that's so hot." She looked like she was about to swallow her tongue.
Without another word Nicole walked off in his direction and I smiled as I watched her get her flirt game on and trail her fingers up his bicep. My mind drifted back to the house as I downed the last of my margarita before I headed inside to poke the bear.
He was in the kitchen, drinking from a dark liquor bottle when I walked in. His sullen eyes met mine for a long moment, "Where's your boyfriend?" 
"Would you shut the fuck up for like a second?" The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them as I leaned against the island on my palms. Conrad rolled his eyes and turned his body away from me. That set me off again, "Since when the fuck do you talk so much anyway? My god the stupid fucking shit that flies–" 
He put his bottle down, "Since when the fuck so you swear so much?" It was disconcerting how much calmer he was than me. It spurred me on.
"Since you, asshole!" I didn't even realize how angry I was until the words came flying out and the adrenaline spiked higher. "Since you make me so fucking mad I wanna tear my own hair out! And I thought we made progress the other night. How fucking stupid am I?" I took a long breath and felt the heat prickle my cheeks. I should have brought in another frozen margarita.
The look on Conrad's face changed and his voice went soft, "You've never been stupid a day in your life." 
"Fuck you, I'm not done!" I wasn't done being pissed at him for trying to ruin a perfectly good day. "Do you even know who asked me to come in after you? Your friend, Danny. Sweet Danny who was genuinely worried that he hurt your feelings, you fucking–" 
His eyes narrowed cruelly, "Oh, poor sweet Danny who wrangled an invitation to 4th party just to drool all over you apparently." 
"Are you seriously fucking jealous right now?"
Conrad's mouth snapped shut as his eyes widened in panic for a second and I couldn't have cared less, "I didn't want to steal his attention away from you, Conrad. I was just saying hi…you know, like a nice person." 
"Mhm. I'm sure he's got lots of ideas of how you can be nice to him." He took another swig from his bottle.
I couldn't even look at him anymore so I squeezed my eyes shut until I could. "Jesus, I'm not gonna date your friend, okay?!? Not if really you don't want me to." 
When I opened my eyes Conrad looked shocked, "What? Seriously?"
It was the last thing I was expecting and I could feel myself start to calm down finally, "I mean, yeah. If it bugs you that much." 
I could tell he was thinking about it. "Y/N…" 
"Unless it really was the stupid fucking baseball shit." It was the shift in his tone of voice. I couldn't handle it.
Conrad paused, "I mean, he is a fucking liar. It's…" I spluttered a laugh and couldn't even hear his very important correction. "What? It's true." Conrad shrugged miserably and placed his bottle back on the counter.
I thought about Danny's request when I said, "I'm sure it is. I just have no idea what you're talking about."
Conrad rolled his eyes and I sighed.
"How is it I've known you my whole life and I never knew the absolute stats nerd hidden under that 90s heartthrob hair?" The second I walked into that kitchen I could barely believe the words coming out of my mouth. I was cutting myself off from another margarita even though I wanted it.
"You think I'm a 90s heartthrob?" He was leaning on the other side of the island and peering at me quizzically. I thought I could even see the hint of smirk under his misery.
"Ohmigod, that's what you got from that?" My face was screwed up in disbelief. His ego had no bounds.
"Uh, that was definitely the most important part." 
"Oh so you're a delusional nerd too?" This was better than sulking Conrad or angry Conrad but only by an inch.
He paused and shrugged like he was shaking off the rest of his sour mood. And then I felt him focus his stare directly at me in a way I'd never experienced. I didn't have to look up at him to know what I'd find. Was this the shameless confidence that Belly always talked about? The silence was bad enough. He always did that; said the thing I least expected or never said anything at all after I did. He'd just wait and look at me, expectantly until I felt like I couldn't breathe.
The silence was never comfortable so I mustered the last bits of my courage and looked him square in the face, "Not everyone is flirting with you, Conrad." 
His smile grew for the first time since he thought he was on a winning streak in the pool. The unsettling thing about it was it seemed like he knew something I didn't. Conrad was nodding and considering the statement as he stepped around the island to stand in front of me on the other side. 
I gasped softly when his eyes flashed back to mine and muttered, "You sure?" He lingered in the moment and I felt a calloused fingertip graze the back on my hand gripping the island countertop. Just when the static in my brain started the clear and I could breathe again, Conrad leaned into my ear to whisper, 
"Or do you save that for Danny now?" 
He stayed close but he had to be drunker than I thought and fucking with me again so I took a breath and tried not to take the bait. Maybe it was my turn to say the thing he least expected for once. I didn't want to have to look him in the eye again after that, "I…you know, sometimes I can't tell and it's unintentional. Danny probably did the same thing. He's just a nice guy." 
He scoffed and took a step back. "Sure. Not like you'd notice either way."
I looked at him then and shook my head in confusion, "What is that supposed to mean?" 
Conrad opened his mouth as he stepped closer again but was shocked into place when he heard his brother calling for him from the other room. "Connie!"
He had the decency to look at me apologetically before directing him to the kitchen. When I saw Jeremiah's expression was serious and fixed on Conrad, I used that opportunity to make my exit. I took a few minutes in the bathroom to splash some water on my face and assess the pink hue in my skin as flush or sunburn. It didn't take long before I started to hear raised voices. I debated whether to investigate or leave them to it, if it was even the Fisher brothers at all, but when I thought about how Susannah wouldn't be able to deal with it like she always did, I knew I had to make sure it wouldn't get out of hand.
I caught pieces of the story as I walked back towards the kitchen. Susannah and Adam had been separated for a year now but he'd helped throughout as he should. He helped more than he did when they were together if Conrad was telling the truth. I heard Jeremiah accuse Conrad of scaring Adam away from the party altogether. It was true, Adam Fisher was nowhere to be found for the first time since I could remember. It was strange to think about now when he'd showed up for a few short hours the year before.
Jeremiah's tone was firm. "What gave you the right?" 
"Get over it, Jere. They're not even together anymore." In contrast, Conrad sounded like this was the last conversation he wanted to have.
"You think I don't know that?" 
"This is Mom's house and her party. You really think she wants him here?" 
"I think she wanted him at Thanksgiving and Christmas and when the treatment got really bad in the Spring too. Oh, but that's right you had finals and weren't around much then, moping around after you screwed things up with Belly." My eyes squeezed shut at the dig. This could escalate badly.
"Fuck you, you know I came home every second I could!" 
"I was there every day!" 
"Okay?! Okay! What do you want, a medal?" I hoped the breath I huffed wasn't audible enough for them to hear.
Jeremiah shook his head out of the corner of my eye, "Did you even ask her? Cause you're right, this is her party and she should have decided. Not you." The footsteps were heavy across the tile as he left and I heard the door slam behind him. 
Conrad sighed. "You heard every word of that, didn't you?" 
I winced and came out of hiding around the corner to see him leaning heavy on the island like it was the only thing holding him up at this point. His liquor bottle of choice was abandoned by the sink. "I'm sorry...but not every word and I didn't mean to, I swear. I was just in the bathroom." 
"It's okay. It's not your fault. Actually it's my fault. As per usual." He didn't move from his spot as his eyes carved holes into the countertop.
"Don't say that." My heart ached for him without my permission. Maybe Conrad fucked up by not inviting Adam or telling him not to show up at all but some of what Jeremiah said was unfair. And it wasn't hard to see that his brother was taking every word to heart no matter what.
"Why not? It's true. It's the only fucking thing I'm good at anymore." He looked up finally, lost.
"Connie, come on." 
The words seemed to shock him out of his emotional spiral. His brows raised and while the smile on his face was immediate, it fell just as quick, "I can't remember the last time you called me Connie." 
"I think I do, actually." Apparently it was infectious because now I was smiling at a memory I thought I'd lost.
When I looked his way again, he was watching me expectantly with the hint of that same sweet smile on his face. It was the least I could do since he seemed interested in the distraction from his own thoughts.
"There was this girl in my freshman year named Connie and I remember thinking it was hilarious that it was a girl's name. Kinda gross of me, honestly." 
"I would say," he interrupted but was still listening. 
"Do you wanna hear the story or not?" His hands raised in defeat as he chuckled. "I told Belly I was gonna torture you with it that summer; calling you every famous Connie I could come up with. TV characters and political figures but she got really upset and said you'd be mad so 'please don't'. So I tried to forget about it entirely so I wasn't tempted." 
When I looked up again, Conrad was looking at me with an expression I couldn't quite figure out so I kept on. "And it must have worked too because I forgot about it until this second." 
He nodded slowly, "Does that mean I get to call you Y/N/N again?" 
I rolled my eyes at the old nickname and conceded, "I guess it's only fair." 
We ended up heading back towards the party and paused to look outside sliding door windows at the view of the patio. He nudged me, "So you've grown to like my name." 
I didn't need to look at him to know he was trying to shift his mood before we went back to everyone who was oblivious about what had gone down inside. "Damn, the confidence with which you said that completely inaccurate statement."
"Mm, say it again." He muttered and I shot him a glare so fast I couldn't believe he kept talking. "But softer."
My patience was battling against the need for physical violence but I let it out verbally. "Maybe try therapy if that gives you a nerdgasm." I was gonna get a lot of traction out of this nerd thing.
"Exposure therapy maybe." The mood shift was successful if I could base it on his teasing tone and goofy smile.
"I said I wasn't flirting with you, dummy." I didn't mean to bring it up again since it wasn't that serious but it wasn't the only thing I'd said that I was gonna regret after the fact.
Conrad scrunched his face in disbelief, "That's definitely not what you said. Actually, we decided you wouldn't know if someone was flirting with you. Case in point." 
I could barely listen to him anymore and I gestured for him to quit it. "Fine, whatever, I'm saying it now. Not flirting. Can we move on?" I knew he was looking at me then but I refused to do the same.
"No." His response was immediate and I saw him register the shock, like it even surprised him a little that he'd said it. 
I didn't have a choice then and could only gape in his direction, eyes struck wide by his stubborn streak. 
Conrad turned to me and stepped closer like he'd made a decision. "Even if you weren't, I was. And I want you to know so I'm telling you now, straight up, to your face, so later you can't explain it away or pretend I didn't…flirt with you." 
And that's when I realized he did know something I didn't. I was such an idiot. He broke his steady gaze for a second and chuckled, "I didn't mean to at first and then…I don't think I can stop now." 
If all that wasn't enough, he wasn't done. "I don't want to." Conrad leant close then and his voice dropped an octave, "I mean, why does he get to when I can't?"
I heard the sliding door shift open and closed but didn't see it from my frozen state, staring at a corner piece of the door frame. I sucked in an unsteady breath and looked up just in time to see him look back at me from the edge of the pool, quickly before he jumped in.
My nerves were shot and despite the cool air inside the house compared to the heavy July sun, my hairline was damp. My mind was blank and racing at the same time; no thought coherent in the slightest so I shut it down completely. No more thinking, not that I could think myself out of this one anyway. I waited until I could breathe normally and wasn't overheating from the inside before I stepped back out to the patio and steered directly to the drinks table for my third frozen margarita.
The rest of the party was fairly uneventful in comparison but still great. No more drunken drama or broken family heirlooms to Belly's great relief. In fact, I found a lot of peace watching her for the rest of the night; giggling with her friends, swimming until her limbs cramped up and flirting with Jeremiah if I could read the signals right. He seemed elated by the development and I let myself be happy for them instead of diving into the complications of that potential. No more thinking. 
At one point, I watched Conrad grab Danny's shoulder, both of them nursing their last beers of the night, and mutter something to him that looked serious enough to be an apology. Danny shook his head with a smile and gripped him in a fierce hug. I didn't even realize I was smiling at the sight until Danny's eyes caught mine and he mouthed a grateful 'thank you'. It was so sweet I had to put down my margarita and rethink my life choices. I caught Aunt Laur and Susannah sitting together and seeing it too: Laurel pouted her bottom lip at her friend and Susannah's eyes sparkled with unshed tears.
When the party got to the point of only relying on the patio and pool lights, I distracted myself with the first steps of organized clean up. Steven joined me not long after, saying that he needed an excuse for a quiet task to keep his hands busy. Usually I would have pressed for more information but I was surviving off fumes by that point. Maybe everyone was. Nicole and Danny stopped by to say goodbye and thanked us for a great party. I hugged them both and looked around to realize that it was only the family left after that. Jeremiah and Belly said something about how they'd make up for their clean up crew shift in the morning and were nowhere to be found after that.
Eventually, when Susannah's porcelain serving platter almost slipped from my hands and into pieces on the kitchen floor, Laurel told me I'd done enough and shooed me upstairs. I debated washing the day off before I crashed into bed but worried I'd actually fall asleep under the warm spray. I'd just managed to get into a baggy Cousin's Rowing t-shirt and sleep shorts before I drifted off into a dreamless sleep.
It was the creak of the old wooden drawers of Belly's dresser that pulled me out of deep slumber. The room was bright with sunlight shining through the curtains and I had slept right on anyway. I yawned as Belly made a face in my direction and grabbed her crop top.
"I'm sorry! I was just gonna change before I got to the beach. I don't wanna miss the chance on our last day." 
"What time is it?" I looked around the room when my phone wasn't on my nightstand like usual. It landed on the end of my bed with a thump.
"After 10. Here. I found it on the kitchen table when I came in last night. Figured I should plug it in for you."
I smiled and saw that it was, indeed, fully charged. "You're sweet."
"The least I could do. You barely left anything for me and Jere to finish up this morning."
"Yeah, I was on a mission." I looked at her smiley face as she pulled her top over her bikini. "So. About you and Jere…"
Belly was never good at hiding things from me and her face screamed guilt even as she tried to shrug it off. "What do you mean?"
"Belly. Come on." She looked at me then, waiting. "You guys hung out all day yesterday and then you left together last night. What's going on there?"
The poor thing looked scared, "You're not mad?"
I rolled my eyes, "Is there something to be mad about? I mean, if you guys like each other…it's not gonna be easy but there are worse things."
"Wow, you should sleep in more often. Oh, don't forget to check the kitchen when you get up. Conrad went out early and got the good muffins."
"Oh, nice. But you're not off the hook about this Jere thing."
She pulled her lip balm out of her pocket and smeared it across her bottom lip. "It's not anything yet. When there's something to tell, I'll let you know."
"You better."
I took a moment to check my phone and saw an unread message from an unknown number. Hey, it's Danny. Jeremiah swore it was cool if he gave me your number so I hope that's okay. It was nice seeing you yesterday. The look on my face must have given me away because Belly was laughing at my expense in almost no time.
"Let me guess. Danny decided to text you after all." She wiggled her brows and giggled.
"Did you know about this?"
"I was there when Jere was trying to convince him. Poor guy actually thought you rejected him because of Conrad." Belly didn't seem to notice if my face reacted to that tidbit. "I told him there wasn't any reason you couldn't come back to Cousin's this summer if you had some good incentive."
She wasn't wrong. It wasn't like I had plans like Steven and Belly. I didn't need to be anywhere until the middle of August. I didn't need to shut everything down before it even started; before giving it a chance to be something to forget about at all. It was a nice thought that was almost immediately ruined by Conrad's look of relief when I told him I'd do the exact opposite. Maybe in a different world where I wasn't leaving for California in five weeks, or if I had any concrete plans of spending more time in Cousin's this summer, I'd feel different. Not to mention that I still didn't have the slightest idea where Conrad's head was at after yesterday and I wasn't sure I even wanted to. The world in which I could be excited about this didn't exist and it was time to make peace with that. 
"You know he invited me to his ball game? I can't believe I have to leave before seeing him in those white pants." 
"Y/N!" Belly threw her stuffed polar bear, Junior Mint, at my chest and I caught it with a laugh. "I knew you liked him. He got so much hotter this year, I'm a little jealous I didn't get there first." 
I gasped dramatically, "I'm telling Jeremiah!" 
"I'm kidding…kind of. I mean, I'm definitely leaving but Danny Wilder could inspire a hot girl summer." 
"Mm. Period." I looked back at the text and wondered if I should just leave it altogether. My stomach grumbled and it distracted me enough to leave it be for now and wave Belly off to the beach to have her fun.
I shuffled down the stairs to the kitchen after my shower, remembering the muffins Belly said would be waiting for me. The box was on the island like always and I smiled at the small victory. I really should have missed my chance at one, let alone my favourite, coming down after 11am. I opened the box and considered my choices when I heard someone clear their throat. I looked towards the sound and found Conrad standing in the doorway.
"Uh…I uh, saved you a carrot. It's under the cake plate." He gestured to the other side of the counter where it waited for me.
"Oh. Thanks." I walked that way and saw him shift his stance uncomfortably, and look down at his feet. I forced myself to give him the credit he deserved at that moment with a look of sincerity. "You didn't have to do that."
He looked pleasantly surprised, "It's no problem. You uh…call it a thanks for cleaning up last night. My mom really appreciated it."
"Of course. Anything for Susannah." 
It was the most polite we'd ever been to each other in our entire lives. I wasn't even sure it was real since there were no witnesses to prove I wasn't making the whole thing up somehow. Belly and Steven would laugh in my face if I told them. But that didn't stop the awkwardness from getting worse by the second and finally I couldn't take it anymore. Conrad looked like he wanted to say something else but I couldn't hear it, whatever it was and I was scared that I already knew. Instead of giving him the chance, I mumbled a quick 'thanks again' and 'see you later' before bolting back upstairs with my carrot muffin in hand and shut the door behind me. I leaned back against it and wondered how I'd avoid whatever that was for the next 24 hours before my time in Cousin's would come to an end.
Next
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author's note: I hope you enjoyed part 2 of 4th of July! How are we feeling at this point? Don't worry because there's still lots more story to come even if Y/N thinks her journey is ending. Next chapter is a day at the boardwalk! Thank you again for the continued support 💚💛🧡❤️. Reply with comments and let me know if you wanna be added to my taglist. If you'd like to ask me about any upcoming chapter warnings you wanna be warned of ahead of time (angst? 18+ smut?) then come visit my blog with any questions and I'll be happy to answer!
taglist: @c4rpediem-s @jackierose902109 @lcvecstiel @h0t-as-h3ll @stylesxroyalty @fandom-addict404 @hellofutur @junnniiieee07 @shelby-x @historygeekqueen
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aroacebkgo · 1 month
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Saw a post about you wanting welcome home requests. Dont know how old it is but.
What would wally be like as a CG???
Feb,20,2024
Caregiver Wally Darling!
A/N: OMG YAY!!! I already have a shorter more general version of this on my blog, so I’m gonna repeat myself a bit here, but that’s okay because I love this man and I really wanna talk about him.
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He is such a good caregiver, I think. Like…he struggles a bit at first but he eventually gets the hang of it and does really well!
I mean. He is quite literally the host of a children’s TV show. He knows how to take care of and entertain kids.
He likes taking you out on little play dates and adventures. One of his favorite things to do is take you to the park, and you often see Julie and Sally there, so you play with them a lot. :)
He paints you a lot. You’re his muse. ❤️
Speaking of painting, if you’re down for it, he’d be happy to paint with you! Finger paint, watercolor, anything! And if not, that’s okay too! He’s fine with just using you as inspiration.
He actually made a deco paci for you one time (if you use pacifiers)! It was for your birthday. You have loved and cherished it ever since.
If you ever draw or color something for him, it immediately gets hung up on the fridge or on a wall somewhere.
He does better with calmer littles. If you’re like me and you get very sleepy randomly or very easy, he has no problem with cuddling you while you sleep if you want. He doesn’t try to sleep with you; because he can’t, and his “I’m sleeping” chant gets a lil annoying.
Barnaby is Wally’s go to babysitter, as you probably expected. Barnaby is basically your uncle. He’s the cool, fun uncle who loads you up on sugar before sending you back to your parents. And that is exactly what he does!
He is VERY cautious and protective. He baby proofs the hell out of everything.
He also does most things for you. You need to tie your shoes? He’s got it! Wanna refill your sippy cup or your bottle? That’s his job, sweetheart, don’t worry about it.
He will love any nickname you give him, “dad/daddy/dada”, “papa”, “baba”, etc.
He loves them all.
He canonically goes limp when you hug him but I’d like to think that he eventually gets the hang of it and becomes a really good cuddler. 😭
He has so much apple juice. And apples in general. Does not understand apple pie or anything with apple filling in it, though…where are the apples…where did they go?? 😥
His voice is super monotone and his face kinda is too, so he actually does super well with autistic littles. Cuz like. He gets it. Also I know Wally isn’t CANONICALLY autistic but. Erm. Yeah he is. In my mind he absolutely is.
He doesn’t do too well with tantrums. He’ll try his best to calm you down, but if that doesn’t work, he usually has to call Barnaby for help. He always feels so bad, though. He’s your caregiver, he’s supposed to know how to help…
All in all, 10/10 caregiver. Would recommend.
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tojifile · 6 months
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Dazai Osamu: The Protector
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Pt. 3 “Did you miss me, mistress?”
Genre: Romance & fluff // PM!Dazai x f!reader
⚠️: SEVERE adolescence romance
A/N: SOMEONE MENTIONED ME AS ONE OF THEIR FAV FANFIC WRITERS AND I NEED TO KNOW WHO IT WAS // Sorry for being super inactive. I’ve been trying to write so many stories (they’re all in my drafts and they’re all about Dazai). I wanted to write something about Dazai’s death but I also wanted to continue “The Protector” AKA my favorite series ever. I daydream about the plot everyday (like a normal person). To get to the point, I will be extremely inactive and will only be posting “The Protector” and maybe do a few requests. This has been sitting in my drafts for days and this is your typical teenage romance. For comparison, I started this around August 11, and others that I started July 💀💀 (Lastly, don’t mind me using ADA!Dazai for the pictures, he’s just so cute and I totally didn’t run out of PM!Dazai icons), This is now September me !! DAZAI IS ALIVE WOOOO
Inspo: Dangerously Yours The Highwayman & lines from Masquerade
Links: Masterlist … will be making a new masterlist
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“Oh mistress.. you’re burning up..” Dazai spoke in a soft voice as he touched your forehead gently with the back of his palm. His touch was gentle and calculated, as was his voice.
It had been a day since you’ve been rained on and now you were sick. Thankfully, Dazai is well, he didn’t seem to be ill at all. Your father was worried about you but due to some flight restrictions he couldn’t come home as early as he wanted to. As it turned out there was a typhoon and your father couldn’t leave at all.
In the few days you’ve known Dazai he was always kind to you. The aura he gave off left you infatuated. Maybe it was because you’ve been sheltered, maybe because he was young and so were you, or maybe because you’ve seen him in a thousand plays, read him in as many books. When you heard the most beautiful piece of music you thought he’d like that. Once, you saw a beautiful couple strolling and knew that’s how you’d be with him.
Your mind was full of him and you couldn’t understand why. “Mistress..” his voice snapped you out of your thoughts as he whispered gently. You looked at him with a gentle gaze to signal that you were listening, “I’d have to leave you for a few hours today, for an important meeting. A doctor and two men from the mafia, directly under Hirotsu-san will take care of you while I’m gone.”
Dazai spoke in a soft and caring voice. He wanted to make sure that you would be okay. His words made you frown slightly which made him smile. To him, you looked adorable. He chuckled quietly then added, “It’ll only be for a few hours mistress, you’ll barely notice that I’m gone.” You didn’t want to hear it, you were being petty and childish yet he didn’t mind.
“Mistress, please speak to me..” he pleaded in a soft voice as he got closer to you. Your heard was turned away from him, you were acting in a paltry manner, “Please mistress, I have to be at that meeting, I wouldn’t want to go without speaking to you..” he quietly added as you continued to ignore him. He lifted your hand gently and kissed the back of your palm with his rough lips.
He frowned when you only responded with a nod. It seemed like he hadn’t gotten the reaction that he wanted. Dazai then gently placed your hand back to your side and looked at you, as if pondering something intricate. In actuality he was just thinking of you. He only thought of how gently you laid and how soft you looked with your head slightly sinking onto the pillow.
As the doctor and bodyguards arrived and went up to your room Dazai checked the time on the beautifully decorated wall clock on top of the door frame—too bad that the clock showed that it was time for him to leave. Dazai left with a frown, deep down he found your antics amusing but a part of him yearned for your attention and reassurance. Now that he left you were stuck with a room full of people you didn’t know.
His meeting went on for hours. You didn’t know how long you could stay under the careful supervision of these three unfamiliar faces. The doctor checked up on your symptoms and progress while the bodyguards stood silently next to your bed. You missed Dazai.
“Did you miss me mistress?” His words woke you up from the trance you were in, due to your various thoughts of when he’ll be back, finally—he came.
Dazai was holding a bouquet of your favorite flowers wjth a wide smile on his usually, cold face, “I saw you looking at them through the window of the flower shop when we were in town for your birthday, mistress.” He spoke fondly as if he thought of you and your happiness dearly.
The doctor and the bodyguards were then dismissed by Dazai. He carefully put the flowers into a vase and poured just the right amount of water in, making sure they’ll be preserved and beautiful even if they would wilt in a few days. His actions made the butterflies in your stomach rampage. “Thank- Thank you, Dazai-kun,” you spoke softly as you looked over at the flowers, sitting peacefully in the vase.
“You’re welcome mistress,” he replied, “Well then, shouldn’t you answer my question, mistress? Did you miss me?” He repeated. You looked away and nodded gently in response to his question. He made you feel safe and frightened all at the same time. A huge wave of emotions drowned you every time he was near, you didn’t know if you were on top of the world or 6ft under.
He smiled softly at your answer. You’ve only known each other for four days yet it felt like four decades. Maybe it was the fact that you were shut off from the outside world for most of your life. It could also be the fact that you haven’t received such affection from a man.
But it also could be the way he looks at you. The way he listens to you intently. How he always keeps you safe even more so than your past bodyguards did. Although, it could just be the fact that he’s from the mafia. That he just wanted to keep his job. Your heart shattered as you thought deeply about every interaction and how superficial it was.
Dazai soon began to notice that you were deep in thought. He decided to stay by your bedside as he looked at you fondly. As if you were a rare sight, one that could only be seen once in a lifetime. His attraction to you was more than superficial. It could’ve also been the fact that he had never received such innocent affection from his peers nor those in authority.
Being by your side helped him escape the cruel world he truly lived in. Is this what falling in love feels like? Maybe near enough. He kept telling himself to snap out of it, “An executive of the Port Mafia? In love with the daughter of a wealthy and powerful ally? Pathetic.” He told himself. Dazai’s true purpose held him back.
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Scheduled post: 09/30/23 18:00PM GMT+8 Philippine Standard Time
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vidding · 6 months
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On June 23, 2021, You Tube announced that any Pre-2017 unlisted videos will be made private on July 23, 2021. Why? BTW this is an attempt to raise awareness about an event few fans may even know took place and highlight the importance of supporting archiving projects. It's written by those directly involved - any re-blogs are appreciated. An example of a rescued vid is at the end. Security update: Why? You Tube screwed up when it first developed unlisted videos. There was a loophole. Any unlisted video that was added to a playlist would automatically be made public. Oops! June 23, 2021 was when they made a formal announcement about their efforts to rectify it. You Tube's Solution? - Blanket privatization of ALL pre-2017 unlisted videos & then apply the security update for all new unlisted videos going forward. What if you don't want your pre-2017 unlisted videos to be made private? Filling out a form telling You Tube to do nothing is one option. Great for people who don't mind filling forms to send to You Tube. Make your videos public. 🤨 or download them and reupload them then make them unlisted with the new update. 🙄 You can watch the video below for descriptions of all the options. Most not ideal. Official Video: Released June 23, 2021. You can watch it whenever if you want to, but I must say contrary to what one would expect it is a very clear explanation without too much technical jargon. However, it doesn't really explain the obvious ramifications of this.
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What are the freaking Ramifications: You Tube is 18 years old. What?!?!! 😲 Yeah, I know. Any pre-2017 videos would account for more than half of You Tube's history (11 years) and therefore fandom's history on You Tube. How many fans would be aware they had a 30-day notice and could act in time? Were you even aware of this?
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More Issues: More importantly, how many users with abandoned accounts with noteworthy, valuable unlisted fanvids are no longer around to fill out a form. How many "Dead Embeds" would be the result of this when the videos go private. Many prefer to Unlist and Embed on other sites. Unlisted is not the same as private. It only means the videos can't be searched and found on You Tube but is available to anyone with a link or Embed. Private basically means no longer accessible and limited to people who were emailed a link directly.
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There were only 2 people in Fandom (to my knowledge) who worked on rescuing content like that. We had about 2 weeks before the July 23, 2021 deadline to archive about 11 years of Pre-2017 unlisted fanvids and ask questions later. One of those people was Morgan Dawn and the other was myself. Other archive teams did work on this but their focus was on other types of videos related gaming, political history, anime, etc. Essentially non-fandom. In a nutshell, our collaboration led to the rescue approximately 12K unlisted fan videos. 12K fanvids that would have been made private forever and unable to be seen. The Work About 50% of that total came from accounts that had never uploaded a video since 2018. The work involved required more technical knowledge & resources than we had ever used before on any prior archive projects. There were several brand-new archive techniques we developed specifically out of necessity during that intense time period. One example was renting multiple virtual machines to sift through thousands of playlists just to find a fraction of unlisted videos. There was so much at stake. What happened with the content that was archived?
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To my knowledge, there isn't an Open Doors for fanvids. There is just a few dedicated individuals who may be bad at promoting their work. Let's face it, when there is a fire at a library you marshal all resources to save as many books as you can and worry about everything else later. If archiving speaks to you whether that is fanzine, oral history or fanvid related, then there are certain things you can do:
Follow this Tumblr (we will post about relevant projects here)
If you have time, ask us how you can volunteer on projects and see if what we offer works for you. You can always opt out.
Re-blog this so that maybe someone who does have time sees this.
If you don't have time support our Patreon https://patreon.com/vidding
If you don't have time or money like this post acknowledging you appreciate that this work is being done even if you can't assist in those ways.
Choose whichever options work for you if possible.
This kind of work is done by very few people and not necessarily by those you would think would do this type of work. It can fly under the radar and so can support. This is an attempt to raise awareness which sometimes we are too busy to take time to do. If support doesn't go to the right places projects like this may never have happen or may not be as successful as they could be. This Unlisted You Tube Project is a perfect example of something a lot of fans may not be aware even took place. Thank you for whatever method of support you choose. The following experience was brought to you by archiving.
The following vid is one of the 12k saved. It's a Kirk/Spock vid. You will not find this vid anywhere but here. I know. I went to the original vidder's You Tube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@xKelociraptor and they have other vids on there. Last vid uploaded 11 years ago and no contact info. You want to know the kicker? I looked at all the other vids they have available but the best one (in my opinion) is the one that was unlisted & rescued. Unlisted vids are not necessarily unfinished projects or bad takes of a final version that should not see the light of day. They can in some cases be the best vids you will never see.
If you liked this post you might like this:
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The last vidder friendly hosting & streaming site?
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hall0wedwyrm · 17 days
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sorry franklydear enjoyers i didn't mean to hit you with this one so soon (i did)
based on the idea i had when i was analysing the newest WH update so obviously spoilers for that. anyway enjoy <3
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It had been a few days since Homewarming festivities had ended. 
Eddie had left the party abruptly that day, and no one had really seen him since. It was a point of concern for everyone... but also no one really knew what to do. 
Frank had spent the past day asking and looking around, clearly reaching his peak of concern. Initially, he thought that Eddie just needed some time for himself. He looked overwhelmed when the two of them had made eyecontact, and it was best to let him take some time off. But eventually he couldn't wait any longer. He started by asking some of the neighbours, but they came up with nothing.  
“He did look awfully tired...” Sally sighed, “But I don’t think even Eddie could sleep that long...”  
“Have you seen him leave the post office since?” Frank asked, using the question that he would proceed to ask every other member of the town. 
“Hmm... now that you mention it...” She pondered, “I haven’t no... I support the sentiment of going to check on him, though.” 
“Eddie was supposed to deliver some things to my shop!” Howdy threw his hands up in despair, “I haven’t had my batch of new stock... but Eddie is more important. I just hope hes okay.” 
“Maybe... he’s doing something that's taking a long time...” Julie remained her joyful self, “What if he’s making us a surprise?!” Frank appreciated her ideas, but this wasn’t helping. He thanked her and moved on. 
“Oh dear, I do hope he’s okay...” Poppy placed down her baking tray, “I’ve been so busy baking and trying out this new cookbook that it’s completely passed my mind... Would you keep me updated?” 
Barnaby seemed to be the most passive about the situation, “Eh. Maybe he’s just holed up in there for a reason.” He shrugged, “He’ll come out of there on his own. I’m sure of it.”  
“Very nice of you, Barnaby,” Frank rolled his eyes, “I’ll keep you updated, I suppose.” 
Frank took this as the last stand. He began his march towards the post office across town. It wasn’t that far of a walk, but it felt like hours. The dread building slowly, making Frank worry about what on earth he would find in there.  
He had to tell himself that Eddie was fine, and that he would walk into the office and find him doing something incredibly mundane, like organising the mail or sweeping up bits of paper from his latest craft. 
“Where are you going, Frank?”  
A voice cut through his panicked thoughts. He jumped in surprise, immediately spinning around to be met with a familiar empty stare.  
Wally Darling... 
“O-Oh! Wally!” Frank stammered, “What a... pleasant surprise...!” He tried to pull of his shock in any way that wasn’t a weird mild fear he suddenly had, “I’m... going to visit Eddie! I haven’t seen him since Homewarming so I was worried about him.”  
“Oh...” a very blunt response, “That’s very nice of you.” Wally pulled his best smile he could, considering he had some kind of permanent grin anyway. Frank smiled back, but it was more of a strained grin.  
“Good luck, Frank.” Wally didn’t move, hinting at Frank to make his own exit from the conversation.  
“Ah... Th-Thank you.” Frank hurries off, leaving Wally to watch as he leaves. 
The door to the post office was covered by the blinds that Frank didn’t know it had. It also looked completely dark inside, adding to the dread. Frank tried his best to peek inside, but it was futile. He thought it would be best to just go inside. 
Frank took a deep breath... and opened the door slowly. 
The lights were off inside, as he has suspected, but there was no sign of life either.  
“Eddie...?” Frank could barely speak, his nerves getting the better of him.  
He looked around the empty room. It wasn’t in any sort of disarray, rather that it was organised. Like it had been untouched for a while. Not a speck of dust though, as if something had been looking after it, or it had become stuck in time without Eddie. 
“Hello...??” He calls out again, standing in the middle of the main room. He had spun around a few times, hoping maybe one turn would help him find something he hadn’t seen before. Unfortunately, it didn’t work like that, and he knew it.  
Frank went behind the counter, into the back room. On the counter in front of him was Howdy’s parcel, wrapped and assigned to him. Eddie was going to deliver it before whatever happened to him or wherever he went.  
Panicking further, Frank rushed out of the back, and then trying to find an upstairs or where Eddie would have been living. Off in the corner of the room, there was a very plain looking door, leading Frank to suspect that it was potentially what he could be looking for.  
He approached, took another much deeper breath this time, and placed his hand on the door handle. He hesitated for a few moments, the dread lingering harder than before. He had a voice in his head screaming that something very bad had happened to Eddie... or he had done something to...
Eddie would never. He’s probably just having a bad spell, and he’s be fine... 
In a swift movement, he turned the handle and flung open the door.  
Silence. 
Eddie’s room was completely untouched. It has been perfectly organised and cleaned. Not an item out of place. It was unsettling, to say the least.
A shiver went down Frank’s spine... He was completely clueless.  
...
Where is Eddie...?
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mvltisstuff · 8 months
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Hello! ✨🤭 Here it continues to be July 23. So happy friendship day 🥺 maybe we are not very, very, very, very, very, very close friends. But your writings are a band-aid to my heart. Thank you for writing the two Next Step requests and the Skyfall one I sent. I think I'm asking for too many requests. Sorry 🙈
But thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you very much. ✨
Well, could you make a request for Evan Buckley, please 🙈 with the song Genius by LSD ft. Sia.
Imagine like a second part of the previous Skyfall write up. Well this time the media and fans started to speculate about reader and Buck's relationship. This after the leak of some photos in which reader supposedly kissed outside the set to his co-star (not yet decided by the actor 🙈). And the rumors intensified the moment his co-star hinted at something off set. Reader is upset about it.
But then Buck is a ge-ge-ge-genius.
He had learned how the entertainment milieu works and how to protect his girlfriend and current fiancée. (it's just a thought) 🙈 🤭
Have a nice day and thank you very much 🤗✨
-Here little bell 🧚
genius (skyfall cont.) - e.b
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summary: request
evan buckley x reader
gif by @meep-meep-richie
a/n: your requests are beautiful like you, thank you again 🩷 also i hope you don’t mind that the actor is unnamed, i didn’t know who to put
the photos leaked day after the scene that y/n had to do. the whole picture was taken out of context, fans unknowingly posting that she was in public with another man. the movie was filmed in a small town in california, one that looked simple and calm before the paparazzi and camera crew set up.
y/n knows all the tricks of the media by now from being in the industry. she’s memorized every way people can twist a story or photo. especially since she revealed her relationship with buck at the oscar’s.
buck knew that she had to kiss other guys for work, but he didn’t diminish her for it. there was no need, he knew she loved him and no one else. the way she looked when he walked in or told her stories from work, he felt like a hero. he was, in her eyes.
when her co-star was brought on set, y/n was delighted. she loved his work, and was confident in their abilities to work together. they were great friends, going to lunch and introducing him to buck. there were more photos of them being released, so people assumed y/n was sneaking around. it didn’t sit right with her at all, because actors don’t get the same amount of scrutiny for that as actresses do.
y/n let it pass by, knowing that she and buck are the only important things now, and they know the truth. they don’t need people online to tell their fake business. she only started to squirm at the though when she noticed the star getting closer to her, and talking to her more. he flirted with her relentlessly, and y/n just tried to remove herself. after a pretentious day of filming, y/n drove back to her place where buck was waiting.
“hey!” he smiles when she walks in the front door. “how was your day?”
y/n places her stuff on the hooks and her purse on the table. she walks over to stand next to buck, who wraps his arms around her. “it was alright, a lot of stunts today.”
“something sounds off, did something happen?”
“no, it’s just…” she paused. she didn’t want to upset buck or worry him, but she wants to confide in someone about what she’s feeling. “he won’t stop hitting on me, and i wish he wouldn’t. i feel bad, but he knows i have a boyfriend.”
“do you want me to say something?”
“no, it’s fine. i can handle it,” y/n sighs, pulling herself away from buck. “we can order out tonight.”
bucks mind was filled with ideas about the acting community. how she has to watch her every move around people, and how viewers take information. he wanted to stop this guy from trying to hit it off with his girlfriend, but he didn’t want to cause anything. everyone knows everyone in los angeles, and it would surely get out if he made a huge deal of it.
buck had a plan instantly. the next day when he got to work, he requested bobby to borrow the truck with a few others. he tapped his fingers on his knee in excitement to see y/n at work, but also for her to see him again. he doesn’t usually boast, but it makes him feel really good. plus, she loves the uniform. he pulled into the parking lot with his near uniform and badges, adjusting himself and his hair as he walked in.
“we’ll have to test the cameras, and then-“ the director was speaking to her team before noticing buck and a few other firefighters around her. “can we help you?” she asks politely to the crew.
“we just got reports of a suspicious smell,” buck replies. “just want to make sure it’s not a gas leak or anything of the sort,” he looks around at the group of actors before spotting y/n who has a knowing smirk on her face. he barely manages to conceal his own instead of the gentle work smile.
“of course,” says the director. a few of the others move around. everyone knows buck, the guy dating y/n. but, he’s the man y/n loves, so when he walks over it’s clear on her face. he plants his hands on her arms, kissing her cheek and slightly glaring at her main actor.
“suspicious smell, huh? how creative,” y/n teases.
“i wanted to see you, and he’s lucky he didn’t get caught,” y/n laughs, looking him up and down in his uniform.
“you know i love seeing you in this,” she whispers raspy.
“don’t get too worked up, baby,” buck winks, making y/n’s eyes roll and push him away jokingly. “i have to get back, i’ll see you tonight?”
“you know it,” y/n tells him, watching him walk away with his gear and the slightly pale face of her costar from the stare buck gave him.
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o0o0thorn0o0o · 7 months
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I be back.
Images by themselves below the cut because I spent way too much time on them + text because I’ve been gone for a while—‘course I got a lotta say.
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It’s certainly been a while, eh? I did this last cour, too, and I swear to God if I do this for the next cour… Worst part is, I haven’t even watched it yet this time, rip :,) Will definitely do sometime later today, for sure, for sure.
So, I meant to get this done for IchiHime week (and look at how that turned out, haha), but not only was July a month full of pleasure, but it was also full of pain work. I was bordering a D for Orgo, so I spent a good portion prioritizing that—and it wasn’t for naught! Not only did I pass, but I went from a C- to a B! A freaking B, not even a B-!!! I’m still so shocked… I also ended up with over a 100 for lab, but I honestly kinda expected that. I’m just so glad I graduated without failing Orgo 2. Was infinitely better than Orgo 1, but goodbye, will never see you again. If I ever do, it’ll be too soon… Had hella good professors, though. That, I will say.
I go from ranting about Orgo to raving, even though it’s almost been a month… Oops ^^” The grade just still makes me so giddy, haha. Anyway, been mainly prioritizing drawing this (plus a part two to this, which I do have done as well, but I will be posting that sometime later today), though I did spend a good portion of the first half of this month rebooting my personal writing club. Enough about where I’ve been—let’s talk about the piece, shall we?
So, this was originally just an art idea I knew I wanted to do later, and when I saw what the first prompt was, it automatically came to the forefront of my mind. That, plus with the idea I eventually got for the second prompt, I really just had to. I actually probably could’ve gotten this done in a more reasonable time, but, see, when things are just an idea, I don’t put too, too much thought into them—only enough to consider them neat or substantial or something.
When it actually came to it, I found myself at a dilemma of just how faithful I wanted to stick with Orihime’s confession. Originally, I thought about incorporating the five specific things she mentioned into different past lives, but then I realized the timelines wouldn’t really make sense with what I was going for, especially considering Soul Society and stuff, which I had not thought about. So I kinda had to choose between previous lives or parallel lives. I initially went with the latter, but… idk, last minute, like the week of, I decided after checking the prompt list one more time that, nah, I definitely wanted previous lives. So, uh… yeah… I might still end up making a parallel lives version of this in the future, ‘cause I did like those ideas, too. We’ll see.
Anyway, I did try to make them at least somewhat reminiscent of the five things: Orihime and Hikoboshi are related to the astronaut thing ‘cause of space and stars and stuff. Heian Period IchiHime, well, it’s a bit of stretch, but I couldn’t really fit donuts in here since the timeline between them and the introduction of ice cream and the current timeline would’ve made one/two of these lives tragically short without even factoring in Soul Society—nothing wrong with tragedy, but not for this post, haha. So I went with small Chinese cakes ‘cause they’re a sweet? And they’d definitely be a very rare and special treat, so… idk.
Shinigami IchiHime’s also a bit of a stretch? You’d think I’d have the easiest time with being a teacher sometime in history, but I ended up sticking it here, and I was adamant I wanted to draw them in their academy days. So, you’ve got Orihime teaching Ichigo some kido techniques or something, idk. Maybe there’s also a kido equivalent to the dummy Hollow thing? And Orihime has a similar/equivalent position to Shuuhei for that? Idk, am just spitballing here to justify myself even though I know I don’t have to.
Then finally, we got Edo Period IchiHime, with Ichigo introducing ice cream to Orihime for the first time ever. And then of course, I shouldn’t have to explain the last one, haha.
Oh, God, I have so much to catch up on… which I will do later. And hey, since my scheduled posts are all up, I guess I’ll just use my queue to reblog posts I’ve missed since Ik I definitely will be reblogging a lot—don’t wanna bombard you with a ton of posts, aha. I will be making them daily instead of weekly, though, so that I’m not stashing them for too long. Starting tomorrow.
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seresinsbabe · 11 months
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Dream of Me: Chapter 2
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Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x fem!reader
Synopsis: Jake made the dumb mistake cheating on the only girl he every really loved. Fast forward a few years, he's a Navy pilot and you're now a famous singer.
Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, Angst, mentions of STI’s, mentions of cheating. Nothing generally bad this chapter.
Chapter Songs: None
Word Count: 2.3k
THIS BLOG IS 18+ MINORS DNI
I do not consent to having any of my work shared on any other platform. If you see any rendition of my works on another site know that it has been posted without my permission.
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Previous Chapter | Masterlist | Next Chapter
When you walked out of  the door you thought that it would be the last you ever saw of Jake Seresin. He was now the enemy. Only of use to you as a muse. The last place you ever expected to see him was your concert. 
Now you couldn’t get those green eyes out of your mind. 
Every time you closed your eyes it was like you were right back there. Staring at him, singing to him and hoping he felt every ounce of pain that you had felt. If you didn’t know any better you would have thought you saw remorse in his eyes.
But you did know better. 
Jake Seresin didn’t feel bad for what he had done – only that he had been caught. Or at least that’s what you told yourself. You had convinced yourself that he didn’t care about what he had done because it made it easier.  Or at least you thought it did. 
“So he was really there?” Julie’s, your sister, voice came through the phone. As soon as you got a moment to breathe you facetimed her. Making sure you were alone for the rest of the night in your hotel suite. The empty half of the bed was taken up by all your comfort foods; a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Phish Food ice cream, nacho cheese bugles, fried mushrooms, mozzarella sticks and crab rangoon, and of course a bottle of Merlot. An odd combination of foods that your trainer would surely yell at you for having. Shortly after it had all arrived you realized you might have gone overboard, but dammit you were upset.
Who the fuck did he think he was coming to your concert? Standing that close to the stage, close enough you had been able to make out his features. There was no way he didn’t know it was your concert. It wasn’t like you were some up and comer, you were selling out venues worldwide, everyone knew who you were. And he had the gall to show up and look you dead in the fucking eye? The same way he had when you caught him with his pants around his ankles and his dick in a pussy that wasn’t yours.
“Yeah,” you chomped on a mozzarella stick as you spoke. “I mean so close I could have touched him.” The tips of your fingers tingled at the idea of touching him while your mind cringed at the thought. The only way you would want to touch Jake was with your fist to his face.
Julie watched as you stuffed a fried mushroom in your mouth and then washed it down with a swig of wine straight from the bottle. “You’re clearly taking it well.” You shot a look at the sarcastic tone in her voice and flipped her off through your laptop camera. 
“Act like you would take it any better.” You loved Jake. At one point in time you had wanted a family and a future with him. up until the very bitter end, he had been perfect. That should have been the sign that it was too good to be true.
Julie just rolled her eyes and picked up her phone, letting you stew for a moment. Only you couldn’t stand the quiet, not in this moment. There were so many emotions you were feeling that you needed to get out so you just started talking. 
“I mean…why was he even there? Was he with his girlfriend? Did he end up with that slut? I know you keep tabs on him.” You continued to babble on, shoving a different piece of food in your mouth every so often. Like the good big sister she was, Julie just let you talk. She knew this was what you needed, to just word vomit over facetime with her until you couldn’t anymore. It was something you had done since you were little, before you started writing music. 
How long you had been rambling on and on, asking questions that were answered only by short phrases as your sister scrolled her phone, you weren’t sure. You were mid question when the message from Julia popped up on your computer and phone screen simultaneously. It was a link to a tabloid article. Immediately your stomach started churning, but you shakily clicked the link anyway. 
Soul Song: Could this man be the heartbreaking mystery muse?
Fuck. You knew someone would speculate, but you hadn’t expected it to happen this fast. Since the concert ended you had made an effort to avoid social media, trying  to avoid this exact situation. You weren’t exactly in the right headspace to deal with his face being plastered all over every media platform. With everything you had you hoped for a juicier story would pop up and people would forget about this come next week.
Something  told you that you weren’t that lucky. 
“Maybe this is some sort of divine intervention? Y’know like fate stepping in.” Your nose scrunched up and you gagged at your sister’s suggestion. 
There was no fucking way that fate was trying to push you back towards Jake. After everything you went through? If that was the case the universe was some sort of twisted bitch. 
The facetime lasted only a few minutes longer before your brother-in-law snatched your sister’s attention away. Which didn’t bother you, you were glad that at least one of you had found love. Of course it might have stung less if she hadn’t gotten engaged a mere two weeks after you’d caught who was supposed to be the love of your life balls deep in another woman.
You sink underneath the covers, cocooning yourself in the crisp white hotel duvet while continuing to stuff your mouth with the depression snacks. During the facetime you hadn’t paid much attention to what was playing on the TV, but now you were acutely aware of the fact that How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days was playing. Against your better judgment you didn’t change the channel and by the end of it there were fat, silent tears rolling down your cheeks.
Seeing Jake had brought back a whole slew of feelings and memories you had only let come through in your music. Now your mind was forcing you to remember them. The dam you’d built was starting to break and you were doing everything you could to patch it back up. You couldn’t even find it in you to write, which was what you should have been doing. Getting it all out on paper, but your body wouldn’t let you. You just kept crying on the bed surrounded by food that was bound to give you heartburn tomorrow. 
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When you had fallen asleep you weren’t too sure, but you knew you had fallen asleep crying. That much was evident by the massive dehydration headache you woke with. The pain was only exacerbated by the ringing of your cell phone. 
“Hello?”
“Hey,” the voice of your manager came through. “The venue had a water main break so we’re postponing the concert until tomorrow.” You groaned. This was never fun. Canceling shows, or even just postponing them, always sucked. You hated disappointing your fans, but this was one of those instances where you knew you couldn’t prevent it. There wasn’t another venue available that was big enough to host your concert tonight.
“Okay,” as much as it sucked it was probably a good thing. You needed a day to cope with the events of the night before. “Keep me updated.” Martin promised he would, just like he always did and then hung up. 
You were slow to get up due to the pounding in your head, but that would soon be remedied by the extra strength ibuprofen in your suitcase. Even though you’d only crawled right back in bed after taking it.
For a while you stared up at the ceiling. Not really wanting to look on your phone and see what the tabloids had come up with now. You knew eventually you would have to address it. Honestly you were surprised Martin hadn’t brought it up on the phone call, but maybe that was due to the more pressing matter at hand. Whatever the reason, you were thankful, because honestly you didn’t know what to say.
You had kept Jake’s identity underwraps because as much as you hated him, you didn’t want this to affect him. Fans could be ruthless and they wouldn’t stop at Jake. They could go after his family, too, and they didn’t deserve to be targeted because Jake was a grade A fucking asshole. Revealing his identity wasn’t something you wanted to do anytime soon, but you weren’t sure you would have that choice now. You could only hope that Martin and your PR firm would manage to keep this thing at bay.
Ignoring your phone was something you could only do for so long. Especially knowing you needed to check it for updates about the venue. At least that was the excuse you told yourself as you surfed through the tabloids. All of them had different theories about the man in the crowd. Before you knew it you were deep diving on Jake’s sister’s instagram. You still kept in touch with them, mostly through social media. Though you never asked about Jake and they never brought him up. 
When the whole thing had gone down they were just as, if not more pissed than you. His mom had cried and both Olivia and Kate nearly cut him off. They’d loved you like their own and fully supported you leaving Jake. It was why you still kept in touch with them, because despite it all, you did love them like family. 
You didn’t even realize you were calling until you heard her voice, soft and sweet with that slight Texas accent that you’d lost over the years of living in California.
“Kate? Hi, how are you?” It had been way too long since you’d actually called Kate. Most of your catching up was done via instagram messages.
To say that Kate was surprised to see your name pop up on her screen wouldn’t be too off the mark. She had seen the articles with the images of her brother and you. Though she had expected Jake to reach out to her first. Not that she wasn’t happy to hear from you. She did miss you, but she understood why you didn’t come around anymore. What Jake had done to you was downright disgusting and for a good while Kate hadn’t even wanted to claim him as her brother. 
Kate knew that Jake still loved you. She knew before he admitted it to her. Throwing himself into his military career was her little brother’s way of distracting himself from the pain. Jake had only thrown himself more into work when your career took off and your face was around every corner.
“I’m guessin’ you didn’t call to catch up?” You could hear the smile in Kate’s voice. It was oddly comforting, more comforting than what an ex-boyfriend’s sister should be. “So, ask away, I’ll tell you everything you want to know.”
You didn’t even know where to start. Actually you weren’t even sure you wanted to start. Maybe this phone call had been a bad idea. You should just make up some sort of excuse and hang up…no. Kate would see right through that. Finally you willed yourself to speak, not bothering to really think about the question you were asking, just getting something out.
“Why was he there?”
“Not sure, didn’t even know he was goin’ and I haven’t heard from him since.” Okay…so that didn’t really give you any answers. What answers you were looking for you still weren’t sure of, but you wanted to know something. “He is stationed in San Diego, maybe it was a last minute thing?” That still didn’t explain why he went.
Jake hadn’t even bothered to reach out and really apologize to you, not that you really expected him to. He had no reason to show up to your concert. No reason to get tickets that close. Even if it had been a last minute invite by a friend, why would he accept a ticket to your concert?
“Did he ever admit that he was wrong?”
“Yeah.” The sound that left you was halfway between a sigh and hum. You knew you should believe that, but so much of you was still holding onto the narrative that he didn’t think he was wrong. That Jake was the stereotypical cheater who only cared about his own happiness. 
The next question fell out like it was vomit. 
“Is he seeing anyone?”
You didn’t know why you wanted the answer. It didn’t matter. Jake was your past and you were determined to keep him there. If he was seeing someone it wasn’t your business.
“If you call putting his dipstick to good use seeing people, then yeah I guess.” The softest laugh left you at her way of phrasing it. Leave it to Kate to bring a little bit of humor to the situation. 
The two of you talked a little longer. Less about Jake and more about how everyone was doing. Thanks to social media you knew Olivia had just had another baby, her third, and that Kate was due to pop in little over a month. It was therapeutic, catching up and reminiscing with her. It gave you a feel-good sense of nostalgia.
“Does he still lo-” you stopped yourself before the question was fully out of your mouth, but Kate knew what you were going to ask.
“I think that’s something you should ask him yourself.” She said it as though talking to Jake would be easy. As if it was something you even wanted to do. Maybe Kate knew it was what you needed.
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@cherrycola27@clancycucumber230@bradshawseresinbabe@brittanyovens@rolisinha@phoenixssugarbaby@deaddumblbumble@caitsymichelle13@whateverbagman@avengersgirllorianna@izz-ayes-world@novagreen04@percysaidnever@leafsfan02@Anurst@rhirhikingston@ahopelessromanticwritersworld@flrboyd@mrsjaderogers@alldaysdreamer@gabicalicota@jstarr86@everythingregardingmarvel@djs8891@amortentiadrops@princess76179@shanimallina87@rainy-day-lady@maaarscorner@chaiandgoodvibes@swteener@sveetnn@xoxabs88xox@filmflux
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