#did I mention that I was starting college while still recovering from hand surgery?

[flightybuttlass]

my mom, for the last 10 years, has been obsessed with the folk pop band formed by the sons of our local pediatricians, but gaur-an-teed they earn similar money to me and she doesn't realize that they're probably costing off their parents's wealth in the way she accused me of doing

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Strangers (Part 4)

Summary: Sam has returned into Dean’s life for some reason and the reader is there to try and help Dean through having Sam around again...

Masterlist

Pairing: Doctor!Dean x patient!reader

Word Count: 2,000ish

Warnings: language, mention of surgery/injury

A/N: I hope you enjoy!

____

“Hi,” said Sam, giving you a quick wave. He stared at Dean who was already on his feet. “I need a place to crash for the night. If that’s okay.”

“What happened to the apartment, you were sharing with that girl, Jessica.”

“She died a few years ago,” he said.

“You kill her?” asked Dean. You got up, still holding your box of swiss rolls and Sam frowned. “You’ve been out of touch for three years. It’s not an unreasonable question.”

“I didn’t kill her,” said Sam. “I saw...it was a serial arsonist. I saw who did it and he ran with a bad group. I’ve been in witness-”

“Witness protection? Are you serious? I’m the fucking easter bunny while we’re at it,” said Dean.

“De, I think he’s telling the truth,” you said, nodding towards him. “He’s obviously upset.”

“You’ve been in witness protection? This whole time?”

“Yes,” said Sam. “Things have been happening lately. A lot of things. These guys are no longer a problem so I can come home. Except for the fact I don’t have a home anymore and had to drop out of college.”

“I filed a missing persons report on you.”

“I know.”

“I hung up flyers, search parties, fundraisers.”

“I know.”

“I drove to the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night because I thought I got a tip about you.”

“That was me. I had to relocate after that.”

“I looked for you for so long. Even when mom and dad gave up, I didn’t. There was no foul play but the cops told us it was unlikely we’d ever find you. You probably walked out and didn’t want to be found. I was so angry at you. They told us you were dead cause someone hurt you or you walked away. Those are two very different things,” said Dean. You dropped the box on the couch and grabbed his hand, Dean pinching his nose with his other. 

“I can leave if you want,” said Sam.

“Don’t you fucking dare,” said Dean. You rubbed his back and he walked over, giving his brother a hug.

“Finally got a girlfriend?” teased Sam as he returned it.

“You two are gonna get along great. You can swap stories,” laughed Dean. “Oh, I need a drink. Also how’d you get in my house?”

“My handler had a key made. They took it from your locker at the hospital,” he said.

“Lovely.”

“I know it sounds…” said Sam as he glanced at you. 

“Crazy is kind of our thing,” you said. “I’m Y/N.”

“You look familiar,” he said.

“My ex boyfriend tried to kill me. With bleach. In my drink.”

“Oh yeah. He was fucking nuts,” said Sam.

“Yup. That’s been our fun for the evening,” you said. “He got out. He’s dead now. It’s fine. Better than fine cause I’m gonna eat a whole box of swiss rolls and not feel bad about that.”

“Yeah, I will get along with you just fine,” said Sam, giving Dean a look. “Not sure about you though. I wanted to-”

“S’okay,” he said. “I’m just...happy you don’t hate me after all.”

“I wanted to call you so many times. It was too dangerous though. I couldn’t put you in that position,” said Sam.

“I’m getting kind of used to that,” said Dean. Sam smiled and you walked over to them both. 

“I crashed date night, didn’t I,” he said.

“Just a bit,” said Dean.

“Well I am really happy to meet Dean’s little brother,” you said, giving him a hug. “You don’t mind if Sam hangs out with us, right?”

“No, never. As long as you’re cool with it,” said Dean. 

“Of course,” you said.

“I appreciate it but honestly I’m wrecked. I could use with a shower and a bed,” said Sam.

“The guest room is right down the hall,” said Dean, pointing the way. “You hungry?”

“Nah. I’ll keep out of your guys hair,” said Sam. “Thanks.”

“It’s no problem,” said Dean. Sam started to head for the hallway when Dean grabbed his arm. “I’m really happy you’re home, Sammy.”

“Me too.”

He smiled before he left, Dean taking a deep breath as he locked up the front door again.

“So you got a brother,” you said.

“Yeah. I probably should have brought him up at some point,” said Dean. You shrugged and rested your hands on his hips, Dean smiling softly. “I thought he was dead.”

“I’m glad he’s not,” you said. “I’m gonna have to back out on the being roommates thing though.”

“What?” he asked.

“Sam needs it way more than I do. I can stick around my parents until my apartment is ready. Seriously, it’s okay. He’s gonna need a lot of help. Trust me. He’s gonna want you,” you said.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. My parents aren’t that bad. Someday we can be roommates though?” you said.

“Okay. I’ll take a raincheck for now,” he smiled. 

“Tonight’s not so bad,” you said. He nodded and you pulled him close to your body, Dean’s arms wrapping lazily around you. “You doing okay?”

“I’ve been the happiest I’ve ever been in my life, the most terrified I’ve ever been in my life and the most relieved I’ve ever been in my life tonight. I honestly don’t know where to begin,” said Dean.

“I got a box of chocolate with your name on it that might be a good place to start.”

“That sounds like a good plan,” he said. “You okay too?”

“My night’s ending on a good note. I’m good Dean. Let’s get back to our date. I was in the middle of cuddling you if I remember.”

One Week Later

“Howdy handsome,” you said, the elevator doors at the hospital opening to Dean standing there in his navy scrubs.

“Gorgeous,” he said, giving you a quick kiss as he stepped on. “You already have your follow up with Mace?”

“Yeah. I am progressing well I guess. We’re switching my immunosuppressant to try something that doesn’t make me as tired and won’t make me as susceptible to illness,” you said.

“That’s good. I know you’re on the strong stuff right now. Mace is pretty good about finding the right med combo by the second or third try,” he said. “Transplant meds are tricky.”

“I’ve learned. How’s your day going?” you asked. “Saving lives?”

“Easy going day. Took out some tonsils on a teenager, did an appendectomy on a toddler, did a bone reset on a kid that broke her leg. Nothing they won’t all recover from 100% percent.”

“That sounds good,” you said. “When do you get off?”

He snickered and you whacked his arm.

“Such a boy,” you said.

“I have one more surgery for the day but I’m heading home after that. Our parents are coming into town. They’ve been in Florida cause their vacation plans got screwed up with the pandemic last year so they rescheduled and of course it’s this week and there’s tropical storms so they can’t get a flight out and they finally are getting home today. It’s been a nightmare. I’m supposed to cook dinner so that’ll go wonderfully.”

“You’re a good cook!” you said as the doors opened and you walked with him down the hall. “You don’t give yourself enough credit. They excited to see Sam?”

“Yeah. They feel bad about...they thought he was dead. Like it hasn’t been long enough to legally declare him that way but they were going to. I’ve always had a somewhat tense relationship with my dad. We fought a lot about Sam after he disappeared.”

“I think no matter what happened before, dinner’s gonna go good for you guys tonight,” you said.

“You’re coming right?” he asked. 

“You want me to?”

“Yeah. I...you make me feel...safe,” he said as he stopped walking. You smiled and grabbed his hand, lacing your fingers together. “You don’t have-”

“I’d love to. I really like Sam and I want to be there for you. I like that I make you feel safe, makes me feel good,” you said. He rubbed the back of his neck but you caught the smile on his face. You gave him another kiss, a whistle coming from further down the hall.

“Get a room, Winchester,” said a guy as he walked by with a laugh.

“Better be a soundproof room,” you said, the guy stopping in his tracks.

“Okay, I approve of this one,” the guy chuckled. Dean rolled his eyes but he was biting down a laugh.

“Y/N, this is RN. Lafetite or Benny as well call him. He’s Donna’s boyfriend,” said Dean.

“Oh yeah, she was great,” you said. “She removed my appendix.”

“That woman knows her way around a blade,” said Benny. “You had the digestive transplant done a while ago, right?”

“Yeah,” you said, Dean making a face beside you.

“Badass,” said Benny. “I worked with Mace some on you.”

“You’re a surgeon too?” you asked.

“No, no. I’m a surgical nurse,” he said.

“They’re pretty important,” said Dean. “The really good ones could perform minor surgeries themselves like Ben. I keep trying to convince Benny here to go to med school and join the rest of us.”

“Oh you know you’d miss me too much, Deano. You me and Novak are the dream team of pediatrics,” he said.

“Sure we are,” said Dean with a laugh. “Y/N and I were having a little get together on Sunday, watch a little football, food. Round up the usual suspects?”

“I can get the crew together. I’ll bring my beer dip and some of those pretzels. Very easy on the digestive system,” said Benny to you.

“That’s considerate,” you said. “It’s okay. I’m alright with most stuff. I just got to watch the grease a bit.”

“These are really not greasy at all. I’ll give you the recipe sometime,” said Benny as his phone went off. “I think we’re late for pre-op.”

“When are we not?” said Dean. “I’ll see you tonight, sweetheart.”

“See you later, Dean.”

“I’m so sorry I’m late,” said Dean that night as he rushed in the house. You and Sam were working the kitchen, Dean checking the clock. “They’re gonna be here in five minutes.”

“Go wash up. Sam and I can cook a few pieces of chicken and make mashed potatoes,” you said. You were nearly finished anyways, the chicken baking away in the oven. Dean made a thud down the hall but shouted back that he was fine before you heard the bathroom door shut. “He always been a worrier?”

“Pretty much,” said Sam as he got out the plates. “He seems different. Good different. More easy going.”

“It’s all I’ve ever known from him so I don’t have much to go off of,” you said. 

“You might have something to do with it,” he said. He smiled and finished up with setting the table. “You’ve never met our parents Dean said.”

“No. We’ve only been together a few months,” you said.

“This’ll be an interesting evening then,” said Sam as the doorbell rang. He suddenly looked nervous and you rubbed a hand up and down his back.

“It’ll be okay,” you said. “Trust me.”

“I see why he likes you,” said Sam. “Here goes nothing.”

______

A/N: Read Part 5 here!

[joshuas]

first place

♫ pairing: Kim Seungmin x Reader

♫ genre: College/university student!au, slice-of-life, fluff, med student!seungmin, rivalry au 

♫ word count: 5.7k

♫ warnings: Nil of note!

♫ summary: Just a bunch of shenanigans that take place at a hospital during the holiday period. 

♫ a/n: The sixth addition to my seasonal oneshots! This is a continuation from my Hyunjin oneshot. Enjoy!

♫ skz seasonal oneshots: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8

“Seungmin and Y/N, you’ll be shadowing these doctors for the next couple of weeks. Please try to get along...” Your professor gave you a pained smile, before handing you over to the two consultants in charge of monitoring your progress at the hospital. “Try to get along? Is there a rivalry that we should be concerned about?” The consultant gestured between you and Seungmin. “Oh, it’s nothing maj—“ You broke off as Seungmin cut in, “Long story short, we’re both the top students in our course, so sometimes our rivalry can get out of hand. But I can assure you, we won’t let anything interfere with the patient’s care.” “Well, I sure hope so. You guys are in the big leagues now— interning at an actual hospital. Any mention of your behaviour becoming the slightest bit unprofessional, and the two of you could fail this component of your course.” The consultant warned before taking you both on a tour of the hospital.

“At the end of the day, I’ll need your progress reports and any paperwork regarding the well-being of your patients. Remember, quality over quantity. Try not to make a competition over the number of patients you see.” The consultant sighed before departing, leaving the two of you in the ER. “We’re going to ignore them, right?” Seungmin raised an eyebrow. You smirked, “You might need to but I don’t. Watch me see lots of patients and deliver them the best possible care.” Seungmin scoffed, before the two of you headed off in opposite directions, tending to as many patients as possible.

“Noooooo I don’t want an injection!!” Timmy, the four-year-old patient you were placed in charge of, got out of his bed, running towards the door. “Please, Timmy, calm down!” You rushed towards him, catching him in your arms before he could run out into the corridor, “Should I sing a nursery rhyme? Twinkle twinkle little... what was it again?” You chased after the four year old, wrestling to place him back on his hospital bed. “Looks like you might need some help,” Seungmin smirked as he sidled up beside you. “He’s not your patient, he’s mine.” You said defensively, turning back to the screaming child, a forced smile etched upon your features. “Hmm... and look at how this is turning out for you? Come on. I bet I can calm him down and give him his injection way faster than you.” He looked at you mischievously. “...you’re on, Kim Seungmin.”

[2 hours later] You slumped against the side of the bed lethargically, placing the fiftieth soft toy you could find on the hospital bed, “Please, Timmy. I’ve gotten all the toys you wanted. All of these soft toys will be there for you while you get your injection and afterwards.” You sighed, exhausted as the kid kept on crying. “What do you want, kid? Money? I’m a medical student, so I don’t have much. Is $20 enough? Thirty is as high as I’ll go.” Seungmin pulled out his wallet. You slapped his hand, “You can’t give money to a four-year-old. First of all, he’s a patient. Second of all, he’s four-years-old!” You looked at him incredulously. “It’s been two hours, Y/N. Where even are his parents? We’ve tried literally everything.” Seungmin sighed exasperatedly. “True...” You sighed, silence filling the room. You pondered for a bit, gasping as an idea struck you. “Well... we haven’t tried everything.” Your lips quirked up mischievously.

“Just put it on so we can calm him down.” You said, tone monotonous. “This is degrading on so many levels,” Seungmin grumbled, placing the puppy ears on his head as you drew on his face. “Best possible care, remember?” You gave him a quick smile before pushing him back into the ward. “Timmy, there’s a very special... puppy here to see you! He’ll be here to comfort you while you get your injection.” You smiled, as Seungmin beamed at Timmy, sitting beside him on the hospital bed. Timmy sniffled, “Does Mr Puppy get scared of injections too?” “Oh, all the time! He’s just like you. But can I tell you a secret? Injections prick a little bit and then your arm feels fine afterwards! It’s just like a small and short amount of pain.” You reassured, preparing your needle as Timmy distracted himself with Seungmin, giving pats to his puppy ears. Seungmin looked at you, slightly uncomfortable. “Okay, Timmy! Are we ready? I’m going to count down okay? 3, 2, 1.” You looked at Seungmin as he distracted Timmy by playing peek-a-boo. He looks low-key adorable... You shook your head, pushing in the needle,  “Yay! It’s done! Good job, Timmy!” You beamed at the four-year-old, tucking him back into his bed. “Okay, good night, Timmy! Mr Puppy has to go now! I’ll see you tomorrow.” You waved, Seungmin at your heels. “Bye-bye, Mr Puppy.” He waved sleepily at the two of you as you exited the ward. “I think he exhausted himself from all that crying.” You noted. “He exhausted himself? I’m exhausted. I think I need a lollipop for how much energy I put into calming this one kid.” Seungmin said, slightly incredulous. “I can’t believe you offered him money.” You scoffed. “Says the one who got fifty stuffed toys from different patients and botched up singing nursery rhymes.” Seungmin retorted. “We don’t talk about any of that. Anyway, don’t you have anything better to do? You didn’t have to intervene with my patient.” You crossed your arms over your chest. “I— well... Your patient was screaming so loudly that it was impossible for both my patients and myself to focus.” Seungmin refuted, ears turning pink. “Whatever. I’ll take that as my victory, right? I believe it’s now 24-17? Let’s see, there’s only... an hour till our shift ends... tick-tock.” You smiled patronisingly at Seungmin before walking away.

“Okay, Timmy! Now that you’ve recovered from your surgery, we can take a walk in the hospital gardens for a little bit.” You held out your hand to the little boy as he carefully hopped down from his bed. “Timmy, are you—“ Seungmin entered the room, looking up from his clipboard, as you buttoned up Timmy’s jacket. “What are you doing?” You asked, confused at his presence. “What are you doing?” He retorted, looking at you pointedly. “Taking care of my patient? Why do you keep trying to poach him from me?” You looked at him incredulously, placing Timmy’s hand in yours. Realisation dawned upon Seungmin’s features, “You know... I think the consultants heard about our... difficulties last time with Timmy and probably assigned him to both of us from now on.” “Ugh, it was probably from Dr Yoon — he hates us for some reason. Also, why didn’t you realise this when you found out that Timmy was your patient today?” You raised an eyebrow at Seungmin. “I just thought that they thought you were incompetent, which was why I, the more competent medical student of this cohort, was provided with this opportunity to show that to everyone... no offence,” Seungmin smirked slightly. “Okay, first of all, why are you so cocky? And second of all, adding ‘no offence’ at the end of your sentence doesn’t make your statement any less offensive.” You rolled your eyes. “Confidence is key. And, I wasn’t saying no offence to you, I was saying it to Timmy in case he thinks that he is just a mere opportunity to me— he is, but he’s my patient first.” Seungmin said a matter-of-factly. “Well now he’s our patient, so dial down on the ‘confidence’.” You scoffed, changing your entire demeanour as you turned to Timmy, “Shall we go outside now, Timmy?” You beamed. “Is Mr Puppy joining us too?” Timmy asked as Seungmin smiled at you victoriously. You sighed, exasperated,

“Yes, Mr Puppy will be joining us too...”

You breathed in the cool air, placing your hands in your jacket pocket as you calmly observed Timmy skipping excitedly ahead of the two of you, “Who do you think would win in a fight against Jisung? Me or you?” Seungmin asked randomly. “Why do you ask that? Me, obviously.” You rolled your eyes at him. “You have no reasoning for that. See, I would say me for obvious reasons.” Seungmin said slightly smugly. You stopped, turning to face him, “Oh? And what might those be?” You raised your eyebrows at him. “Well, for one, I’m a lot taller than him, which means I can reach out further and hit him before he hits me. Also, since I’m taller, I don’t have to punch upwards, which means that less force is applied when Jisung punches because he’d have to punch upwards, whereas I’d basically be punching straight, making my punch more powerful...” Seungmin droned on, explaining his argument, leaving no room to rebut. “I guess there was a reason you were on the debate team for all of high school.” You gave him a forced smile. “Actually I started in middle school. Anyway, I guess that means that I win.” He smirked triumphantly. “Um, no, you haven’t heard my side of the argument. Honestly, to think you did debating all this time and you still don’t know the rules.” You pinched the bridge of your nose, exasperated. “Let’s hear it...” “Well, first of all, let me just acknowledge your...”

[45 minutes later] The two of you bickered, hospital staff and patients often stopping to stare at the two of you, as you continued, oblivious to the scene you were creating, “No. You know what— I think we need a mediator. Timmy, who do you think would win in a fight? Me or—“ You broke off, looking around frantically and stressing over the sudden disappearance of your patient. “Did you see where he went?” You asked Seungmin, giving him the side-eye as the two of you ran throughout the gardens calling his name. “Obviously not since I’m running around to find him too.” Seungmin rolled his eyes as he looked through a snow-blanketed bush. “Guess you’re not the “best medical student of our cohort”. You can’t even take care of a child.” You said slightly smug. Seungmin sighed, looking at you,

“Not now, Y/N. He’s our patient, so you’re basically insulting yourself — you can’t even look after a child.” “Are you saying that I’d be a terrible parent?” You gasped, offended. “Are you saying that I’d be a terrible parent? Wait— I never mentioned parenthood.” He retorted, eyebrows raised. “I— oh! Timmy! Why are you hiding behind the park bench? It’s cold outside.” You helped him out onto the path, brushing off any snow from his clothes. “You and Mr Puppy were fighting, so I got scared and ran away.” He said shyly. You shared a look with Seungmin,

“Fighting? Oh no, honey. We were just... talking loudly.” You gave him a reassuring smile, holding out your hand to him. “Please don’t talk loudly anymore.” Timmy sniffled. “We’ll try not to.” Seungmin smiled, taking Timmy’s other hand as you entered the hospital.

“I smell... unprofessionalism.” Your consultant leaned back in their chair, sniffing disgustedly at the air, “I heard about what happened in the gardens today.” Your consultant leaned back in their chair, looking between Seungmin and you. “I promise you, it won’t happen again. And besides, Timmy was fine!” You spoke quickly. “And what if he wasn’t? We’d have a lawsuit on our hands. But above all, he’s your patient. He was placed under both of your care, and he deserves to be taken of to the best of your ability, regardless.” The consultant glared at the two of you pointedly. “We’re sorry.” Seungmin muttered, looking down. “Let me tell you this — this is a hospital. One of the most competitive workplace environments. I understand your competition with each other, but this is the real world, and in the real world there is no room for error. Especially when a patient’s life is at stake. All competition stops when we have to take care of our patients, since they are our top priority. I need you to reflect on whether they are yours?” The consultant raised their eyebrows as the two of you stood in stony silence. “Now, since the two of you can’t go without some sort of punishment, you’re going to have to get the paperwork from the receptionist at the ER and come back here to run through all of it. I want it done before 5pm.” The consultant tapped at their watch. “But the ER is on the other side of the hospital...” Seungmin noted. “So that means we only have... an hour to do all of this, on top of going there and back.” Your eyes widened. “Is that a problem?” Your consultant looked at the two of you pointedly. “No...”

As you exited the consultant office, you looked at Seungmin as he stretched his legs and arms, jogging lightly on the spot, “What are you doing? It’s not like you’re preparing for a marathon.” Your nose crinkled in slight disgust. “You said so yourself that we had one hour to get these files and organise them. Unlike you, I want to show that I am a professional and gets things done on time even before my subordinates.” Seungmin monologued. “I— subordinates? We’re literally in the same year.” You scoffed, tying your shoelaces. “I may view you as lesser than me at times.” Seungmin said quickly before sprinting down the corridor, knocking over everything in his way. “Hey! Kim Seungmin!” You yelled, running after him.

You panted, grabbing at the receptionist desk as you tried to catch your breath, alongside an equally as breathless Seungmin. “C-can I... okay wait a sec... can you please give us with the files the consultant wished for us to go through?” You asked, out of breath. “Actually, they heard of the mess you made when coming here, so that you both have to clean before you go through the files.” The receptionist gave you a forced smile before turning back to their computer. “How?” You looked at Seungmin incredulously. You shared a knowing look, “...Dr Yoon.” The two of you muttered. “Just take these for now.” The receptionist dumped two full cardboard boxes on the desk, paperwork overflowing from both. Seungmin inhaled sharply, “And when will the paperwork need to be done by?” “Well the consultant isn’t too mean, so it’ll need to be done before ten, seeing the amount of... mess the two of you made.” You plastered a fake smile on your face, begrudgingly taking the box, “Thank you, so much.” “It’s no problem, and hey, good luck with the papers.” The receptionist gave you a small smile before shooing the two of you away, boxes in hand. Cleaning with my rival. How fun. I swear the universe hates the two of us. Why are we always together?

“Oh god, we made a huge mess.” You stared widely at the disastrous corridor ahead of you. Random chemicals were spilt on the ground, with IV drips entangled alongside other equipment scattered throughout the hallway. Wordlessly, Seungmin unlocked the supply closet, handing you a broom whilst he got the mop, not before placing the boxes down in the closet. “You should start on the glass so no one injures themselves and decides to sue the hospital for poor workspace conservation.” Seungmin snapped on gloves, mopping up the chemical residue. “Well, we are in a hospital of all places.” You pointed out humorously. Seungmin rolled his eyes, looking pointedly between the floor and your broom. “Fine...”

As you cleaned in silence, you glanced over at a stony-faced Seungmin, What happened to him? Is he really that upset over what the consultant said? I thought he’d take it as feedback and move on. He doesn’t normally give up like this. Or let things like this phase him for that matter. He’s... admirable in that way. You shook your head in disgust, Ew ew ew, Y/N! I can’t believe I called him admirable.. he’s far from admirable. He’s a pain in my— “Y/N, are you done sweeping that one spot? You’ve been at that spot for the last five minutes. I’m pretty sure you’re just sweeping up air now. Can you help me put the cleaning things away?” Seungmin interrupted your thoughts, collecting up the appliances and heading towards the supply closet. “Oh yeah, I forgot that we left the boxes here.” You stepped into the closet, grabbing one box as Seungmin slipped in after you, turning his back away from the door... a clicking noise resounding in the confined space, the light leaving the room as the door locked shut, the rustling of keys heard from outside the door, carefree whistling following suit. Seungmin whipped around, trying to open the door, “The door’s locked!” “Uh, no duh. Someone’s locked us in, obviously... Who do you think it was? My guess is Dr Yoon.” You accused, running through a list of your potential enemies. “Or it’s our consultant wanting us to resolve all our issues before we go back to work.” Seungmin suggested, sighing as he sat against the door. “It’s... a possibility. Regardless, we should figure out how to get out of here. Do you have your keys or your phone?” You asked, mentally crossing your fingers that he did. “No, it’s in my locker. I’m assuming you don’t either since you asked me.” Seungmin sighed. “Ugh, you know, sometimes I wish you were some kind of mysterious bad boy that somehow did everything really well but also broke the rules for once.” You sighed exasperatedly. Seungmin shot you a disgusted look, “Are you saying that you don’t like me for who I am?” You coughed, “I don’t like you, full stop. Why do you think we have this rivalry? Because I’m some immature high school student that has a crush on you and is mean to you to hide my feelings? No.” Mhm, sure, Y/N... “It’s not like I knew we were going to be locked in a storage closet, anyway.” Seungmin said defensively. “We can’t even do paperwork since there’s no light and we have no device with light.” You complained. “Then let’s just sit and wait. I’ll listen by the door if I hear anyone pass by. Please don’t talk to me. I’m not interested in talking to someone who doesn’t like me at all.” Seungmin pressed his ear against the door. “Fine.” You crossed your arms over your chest, sagging back against the wall. This is going to be a long night...

[3 hours later] “God, I can’t take this any longer! Stop sulking and talk to me. I don’t want to think about being trapped in this room with you any longer than I have to.” You exclaimed, Seungmin perked up, relief flickering in his eyes before moving to a more guarded expression. “Okay, well what do you want to talk about?” Seungmin asked drily. “I don’t know... how about we play 21 questions? You can start.” You suggested. “Fine. I will, even though it’s kind of dumb since I already know more about you than I’d like to. Don’t ask me why. What’s your favourite colour?” He asked, slightly bored. “If you’re bored by asking this question, how bored do you think I am by answering it? Your question was dumb. Mine’s [your favourite colour]. And I already know that yours is purple. Don’t ask me why, either.” You sighed. “Wow, okay. I’d like to see you come up with a more interesting question.” Seungmin said defensively. “Oh, watch and learn my... nemesis? Anyways, my question for you is, if you could have any other profession than this one, what would you have chosen?” You raised your eyebrow. “Oh... I’d be a lawyer... in particular, a prosecutor.” Seungmin said sheepishly. “Why?” You questioned. “The career itself interests me. The criminal justice system is as intricate as some of the cases a doctor would have to cure. The problem solving that goes into trying to figure out what actually happened in a case is the fun part. It’s kind of like solving a puzzle, because all of the pieces eventually will fit together as you piece more and more together from testimonies.” Seungmin explained, eyes lit up in excitement. “You are... really passionate about law. Why didn’t you choose to study that instead of medicine. They’re pretty much are the same in terms of prestige and salary.” You said, confused at his disposition. “I... don’t know.” Seungmin said tentatively, tone slightly confused. “Oh come on, you can tell me. What am I going to do? Use that against you? There’s literally no point of me doing that. Unless you did something really bad and wrong—“ Seungmin cut you off, interrupting you panickedly, “No, Y/N! I actually don’t know.” “You’re telling me that after all this time of having this passion, you haven’t once thought about why you selected a career path completely different to the one you wanted to pursue?” You asked incredulously. “Yes, Y/N. Can you please just not talk? I need to think.” He stood up, pacing the small space, occasionally tripping on things in his way. “Okay, Seungmin, where are you so I can slap some sense into you?” You stood up, holding your hands out tentatively to grab him. “I don’t want you to slap me!” He brushed your hands away, as you grabbed onto one of his. “I meant metaphorically. I’m not going to abuse you.” You rolled your eyes, “Look, I’m not saying this because you leaving would mean that I’m number one in this course. That would obviously be a bonus, but I’m saying this because I’ve known you for a really long time and surprisingly want the best for you. If you’re this passionate about law, you should study it. It’s not as if anyone’s going to complain if you switch, it’s an equally as admirable career option. I think you’ll enjoy it a lot more than medicine by the looks of it. You don’t want to live your life regretting your career options because someone asked you this question in a supply closet and you didn’t act on your uncertainty. You’ll never know unless you try.” A silence filled the room. Not long after the jingling sound returned from outside the door, bright light blinding you as the door opened, a woman screaming as she saw the two of you, Seungmin and you screaming back, confused,  “Oh my goodness. There you guys are! You do realise that you have an hour to do the paperwork, right?” The receptionist from earlier gasped, letting you out. Seungmin placed a hand on your shoulder, stopping you, “Thank you, Y/N. You know, sometimes you can be an intellectual.” “You really need to work on your compliments. Anyways, I’ll see you next week.” You smiled, heading towards the lockers.

“Y/N, I just wanted to inform you of Seungmin’s departure from this course. And before you ask, yes that does mean that you are now officially first place. Congratulations!” Your consultant addressed you before shooing you out to do your work. First place, huh? Oh how the turn tables... I guess he really did take my advice. I’m flattered! I mean... why would I be flattered? I don’t care. Whatever. Hopefully he has fun at law school and whatnot, while I enjoy being first place!

“Oh, Dr Yoon. Hello.” You stopped short, bowing your head slightly in acknowledgment. “Well, well, well. If it isn’t The Honourable First Place themselves? So how’d you get rid of him? Talked him to death?” Dr Yoon taunted. You rolled your eyes, sighing, “No offence Dr Yoon, but I don’t see how what Seungmin decides to do with his life is any of your concern.” Dr Yoon scoffed, “Someone’s defending their man.” “He’s not my— oh, you know what? Whatever. Have a good day, Dr Yoon.” You said passive aggressively, stomping out of the break room.

“Nice work, Y/N! I can see why you’re number one.”

“Hey, Y/N. Can you get these x-rays done before eight?” “I heard that Seungmin’s gone. I guess I’m your new rival now.” The day passed by in a flurry, numerous doctors and nurses congratulating you... and delegating more work to you. Particularly, Seungmin’s workload. You weren’t complaining too much about the compliments, those were nice. It’s just that... work wasn’t as fun as it used to be with a certain someone present. The workload seemed to drag on, and on, your motivation lessening as time progressed. I wonder what Seungmin’s doing now. Probably living his best life and learning about lawyer stuff. He’s probably forgotten about me and this rivalry altogether... “Y/N! Are you coming with us for lunch. We wanted to congratulate you on your ranking!” “Coming...”

You put on a smile as you entered Timmy’s room, “Mr Puppy, is that you?” Timmy called out from his bed. “No, sorry Timmy, it’s just me.” You gave him a small smile, checking his vitals. “Where is Mr Puppy?” He asked, wide eyed. “Oh... look, sweetie, Mr Puppy won’t be able to come to the hospital anymore because he’s... run away? Yeah, he’s run away.” You sighed, sitting on the plastic chair next to the bed. “Have you tried looking for him?” He looked to you, hopeful. “He’s just... I don’t think he wants to be found.” You sighed, slightly bitter. A silence filled the room, the two of you lost in your own thoughts. “I miss Mr Puppy.” Timmy said resolutely. “You know what Timmy, I can’t believe I’m saying this... but me too.”

[21 Dec.] (You) I’m assuming you’re on break now? They aren’t giving us any breaks at the hospital because this is the busiest time, apparently - Christmas and New Years, that is >.< How’s your lawyer stuff going? Are you going to be a lawyer forever? [25 Dec.] (You) merry christmas! you’re probably too busy with lawyer stuff since you haven’t replied to any of my texts. That’s chill... you know, Timmy asked me if I could find Mr Puppy for him for Christmas. Not sure if you remember me or any of the things that went down when we were working together because you’re SO busy... just wanted to let you know :/ [26 Dec.] (You) I don’t understand how many people got candy canes stuck up god knows what. My shift on Christmas was probably one of the busiest shifts I’ve had ever!! The consultant says to wait until New Years Eve to make that call... [30 Dec.] (You) you know what? I give up. I’ve tried engaging in conversation but you’re not reciprocating at all. You can’t be THAT busy. I mean, you just started your law degree. Meanwhile, I’m working long hours at the hospital to cover for both of us... I hate this. Looking at your phone for the billionth time, you sighed, placing it back in your locker and throwing on your coat. The hospital was in disarray due to the spike in demand of the services in the last couple of hours. You had the night shift which was the busiest time, especially on New Year’s Eve. Not to mention that you had to do your usual rounds on top of helping out at the ER. You’d think that the hospital would be prepared for this. Weren’t they the ones that told me that New Year’s was busiest? Dumb mistakes, people getting drunk, etc. It’s so— “Y/N! We need you in the ER pronto!” The consultant stuck his head out of the door to the ER, yelling at you to come over, interrupting your internal monologue. What a way to start off the new year...

Sighing, you watched as more patients poured in, many too drunk to remember anything they had done to end up in hospital in the first place, not helping with your diagnosis process at all. You finished up with your current patient, glancing at the crowd in the waiting room, eyes stopping as they drifted past a familiar figure — Kim Seungmin. Your heart leapt at the sight of him, even if he was more or less dragging his friend (?) into a wheelchair in the least graceful way possible. If dragging someone into a wheelchair could ever be considered graceful in the first place. He dropped his friend in the wheelchair, wide-eyed, making their friend wince from the impact, he looked at them pityingly before meeting your eyes. “Y/N! Stop gawking at the patients and actually start helping them! God, we don’t have enough staff for this.” Dr Yoon yelled at you. Not enough staff, you say... You grabbed a spare coat from the receptionist desk, “Hey, Kim Seungmin! I know you’re some fancy law student at the moment, but we need your help! The hospital’s super short staffed right now, so it’s all hands on deck.” You ran towards him, chucking him the spare coat before pointing him towards the mess of an ER. He placed his hand on your arm, ignoring the beat of your heart, you looked up at him, “Hey, for old times sake, how about we have a competition?” He suggested, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. “Number of patients? You’re on.” You grinned, rushing towards the masses with him, feeling excited towards your job for the first time in a whlile..

“And that was 34-27. I win, yet again. You know, I always wondered why you were first place when I always won against you in these competitions.” You observed, sighing as the two of you walked through the hospital corridor. “This has nothing to do with performance in exams. Besides, you should know this by now, I—“ You halted him, stopping at the children’s ward, “I’m not sure if you got my texts but Timmy’s really missed you. I don’t really understand why, to be honest. You’re not really that missable but—“ He ignored you, entering Timmy’s room. “Mr Puppy!” Timmy exclaimed joyfully as Seungmin beamed at him. “Timmy, you’re still awake? This late in the evening?” You raised an eyebrow expectantly at him, leaning against the door frame. “I wanted to stay up till the fireworks!” He responded honestly. “Didn’t a nurse come in and watch the 9:00 fireworks with you?” You asked. “It’s fine, Y/N. He’s old enough to decide these things on his own.” Seungmin gave you an amused smile as Timmy sat up straight, nodding seriously at Seungmin’s words. “I also wanted to watch them with you and Mr Puppy, but the nurse said that you were too busy.” Timmy pouted, your heart lurching at his words. “Aww, well, Timmy, since we’re here now, we can stay with you, but not to watch the fireworks, because you should sleep. But Mr Puppy and I can read you a bedtime story if you’d like... and I’ll be here when you wake up in the new year. I promise.” You smiled, approaching the hospital bed. “What about Mr Puppy?” He looked expectantly at Seungmin. “Oh no, honey—“ “I’ll be there. I promise.” Seungmin connected his pinky with Timmy’s. You looked at him confusedly as Seungmin pulled out a children’s book and began to read. He looked at you expectantly, gesturing for you to sit next to Timmy. You sat down, thoughts racing, What does he mean by he’ll be there?

“I think he’s asleep now.” Seungmin quietly shut the book, leading the two of you outside into the corridor. “What time is it now?” “Five minutes to midnight.” Seungmin said a matter of factly, checking his watch. “Okay, question. What do you mean you’re going to come back tomorrow?” You crossed your arms over your chest, looking at him expectedly. “I mean, I’m going to come back tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that. Basically permanently because I’m studying medicine again.” He gave you a small smile. “What do you mean you’re studying medicine again? What happened to pursuing your dreams and studying law?” You asked incredulously. “Frankly, I didn’t enjoy it as much as I thought I would. Besides, our professor told me to try it out for a week and then actually consider changing. So I was technically still studying medicine. Also, in that week, I had to help Jisung with a lawsuit, which took up all of my time, hence, why I couldn’t respond to any of your texts because he ended up throwing my phone out... it’s a long story. Anyway, that put me off law altogether.” He explained. “Yeah... I can understand why that put you off.” You nodded. “And... there was one other factor preventing me from pursuing law.” Seungmin said tentatively. “Oh? What’s that?” You asked, heart rate quickening. “You.” He pulled you close, looking at you for permission as you nodded, capturing his lips with yours. As people chorused happy new year throughout the hospital... and being told off by consultants for being too loud, Seungmin pulled back, leaning his forehead against yours. “Y/N, you keep me motivated and the time I spent away from you made me realise how much I need you in my life. Every day I spend with you goes by so quickly because you always keep me on my toes... and you’re the only person that can match me in a battle of the wits.” You smiled at his last sentence, bringing him into a hug, before quickly releasing him. “Well, if it wasn’t clear from the kiss, I like you too. However, that’s the least of my concerns... now that you’re back, what does this mean for my ranking?” You asked, wide eyed. “I think I’d still be in first? Technically I never stopped doing this course.” Seungmin said, confused. “What? No. You can’t be first. I’m first. The consultant congratulated me.” You denied. “I guess you’re just going to have to defeat me again, Supreme Ruler Of Second Place.” He teased, dropping a kiss on your forehead before running to the ER. “Kim Seungmin, God so help me. I will beat you this year!”

➳ part seven?  | masterlist!

[tirkdi]

Will you continue your stupid-amazing hospital alarkling au?

Let it never be said that just because I’ve let an ask sit for years means it won’t be fulfilled. Chapter 1 is here, this is chapter 2, and it’s still half crack, so let’s not take any of it too seriously, shall we?

*

Alina had just finished buttoning up her white coat when she saw Dr. Morozova striding down the hallway, his long legs devouring the linoleum at a distressing pace.

“How was your weekend?” she asked as she fell into step beside him, her own legs doing double time to keep up. He held out a stack of folders and she instinctively reached out to take them.

“My weekend was good,” she continued, having known from the beginning that she was going to have to do the conversational heavy lifting. “A friend of mine had a birthday party and my schedule actually allowed me to attend, which was a pleasant – what are these?” The files she held were all for surgeries that they’d done over the past couple months: nothing new, nothing to prepare.

They turned a sharp corner past pediatrics before her mentor replied. “We’re presenting at a conference this week.”

“We? Presenting? This week?” Alina couldn’t manage to put all her thoughts into a question and he closed his eyes briefly in disappointment.

“We’ll be giving a presentation at the annual surgical conference. I’ve already made the arrangements. Put together the PowerPoint this evening and I’ll review it in the morning.”

“PowerPoint?”

“Keynote is fine if you prefer.”

“Oh, great. Yeah. That was my question.”

She let him walk towards the office before propping the files between her hip and the wall to allow her to fish out her phone, scrolling through her list of contacts. Who might she know that makes presentations? She didn’t have a huge repertoire of people to choose from, so it really came down to probably not a costume designer, probably yes a lawyer.

do you know how to make a power point? Alina tapped out.

o m g starkov, Zoya texted back.

could you help me make one this evening? it’s important.

do you have ANY idea what I bill at?  

I’ll provide pizza and wine, Alina offered.

and ice cream, Zoya countered.

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!! Alina exhaled and shifted the files back into her arms. Zoya’s reply was a painting nails emoji followed by a hair flip emoji followed by a middle finger.

Perfect. She could get this done tonight.

*

Zoya tapped on Alina’s laptop for a minute while Alina perched nervously beside her. “You have PowerPoint installed, so that’s a good start,” the lawyer muttered. Her hair was pulled behind her ears so that her hair fell in black curls down her back, and her makeup looked as flawless as it must have first thing in the morning. Not to mention the diamonds in her ears – whatever Zoya was having, Alina wanted it.

“When is the pizza coming?” Zoya asked.

“Half an hour. Wine in the meantime?”

Zoya snorted, a you-have-to-ask response that Alina had become familiar with during their time as roommates in college. She returned with a glass of Zoya’s favorite pinot and saw that the screen of her computer was an empty white page.

“Alright,” Zoya began. “Let’s get an outline down, then we can go back and fill in what you’ll actually be saying.”

They had an outline by the time the pizza arrived. Zoya took a slice and pulled up the first slide. “You have some kind of visual you want on this?”

Alina rummaged through the file, pulled out a photo. “This is a pretty good demonstration of the issue we ran into in the surgery–”

She was interrupted by Zoya gagging to the far side of the screen. Once she had recovered, she took a long drink from her wine glass and cut a glance back to Alina, who smiled sheepishly. “Sorry, I sometimes forget what it looks like to people who aren’t surgeons.”

Zoya took another drink of wine, set it down, and looked at her friend. “You owe me so much more than pizza and wine for this.”

“That’s the spirit,” Alina replied.

*

Alina forgot the hospital doors were automatic and nearly fell through them the next morning. She caught herself before she fell – barely – and when she looked up Dr. Morozova was standing there, watching her impassively.

Of course. Of course he would be there.

“The presentation looks good.”

Alina rubbed her face. She and a grumbling Zoya had worked on it until the early hours of the morning – she’d sent it to him not so many hours ago, in fact. “Oh. Great.”

“I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning at seven.”

“Um. Tomorrow?”

He didn’t acknowledge her response. “It’s just one night, so no need to pack too much.”

“Overnight?”

He glanced at her. “It’s a couple hours from here. I’ve booked us rooms. Be ready tomorrow at seven.”

Alina watched him walk off, looked down at the floor. The linoleum didn’t seem to be any help. A two hour drive with her supervisor, an overnight stay at a conference, and a presentation? You can do this, Starkov. “Cool,” she said, once he’d walked off. “Cool, cool, cool. Cool.”

*

At exactly seven o’clock the next morning an impossibly nice car pulled up outside of Alina’s apartment building. She didn’t know anything about cars, but it was black, had tinted windows, and looked like it was worth more than her student debt — which was saying something.

A few moments later, the window closest to her rolled down revealing Dr. Morozova, one eyebrow raised. “Are you planning on getting in?”

“Uh.” Alina looked down at her hands, wondered if she should be wearing gloves if she was going to touch the car. But she also didn’t want to keep him waiting … Just play it cool. “Yeah,” she said. Smooth, Starkov.

The door handle didn’t disintegrate under her touch and she put her bag between her feet as she settled into the passenger side. No sooner had her seatbelt clicked than he began to drive, the ride butter-smooth beneath her. Oh, this is why people spend a crazy amount of money on cars. He shifted gears and she looked out at the tinted scenery as he lead them towards the highway.

He hadn’t said anything since she got in the car. “So,” she said, cringing even as the words left her mouth, “you go to this conference often?” At least she hadn’t asked him if he drove his own car often.

“Annually.”

Another couple minutes passed in silence. She was going to have to do all the prompting, as usual, but being alone with him in a car for two hours meant that maybe she could get to know him a little better. She cast a glance his way but his eyes were on the road ahead. “Do you have any family?” she asked.

“Everyone has a family.”

She stifled a sigh. “Siblings?”

“One.”

“Brother? Sister? Older? Younger?” He didn’t confirm any of those. “Non-binary twin?”

He looked at her out of the corner of his eye before turning his attention back to the road. He signaled, switched lanes. “Sister. Younger.”

Alina looked at him, trying to imagine what his features would look like on a woman. She would probably be the most stunning woman in the world. Either that or scary as hell. “Are you close?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Why are you asking?”

“I’m just trying to make conversation.”

“Would you like me to ask about your family?”

The blow, whether or not it was intended as such, landed hard. Alina looked out the window at the scenery, fighting the lump in her throat.

The silence turned out to be a blessing, though; with the car’s smooth handling, Alina fell asleep quickly.

“We’re here.” She jerked awake, rubbing saliva off of her face, wondering if Dr. Morozova had seen her drooling. “I checked us in remotely; your room key should have been sent to your phone. I’m room 416 and you’re 485.”

He opened the trunk and pulled out a small suitcase. Black, obviously. Alina shouldered her own overnight bag. “Go put your stuff down,” he said. “I’ll meet you in the lobby in fifteen minutes.”

*

There were a lot more people at the conference than Alina had anticipated. It was possible that there were no surgeries happening anywhere across the United States and several other countries right now, because everyone who would have been performing them was in this room. It would have felt crowded in any case, but in this case in particular the attendees were all surgeons —  the egos pressing together were almost suffocating.

Or maybe it was the fact that she was standing in front of all these people as Dr. Morozova gave the presentation she’d put together that made her so uncomfortable. All these people could see her. At least she didn’t have to speak.

“And this last surgery was performed by my intern, Dr. Starkov. I’ll let her explain.”

He handed her the microphone and the tiny clicker to change the slide, and Alina straight up panicked. Her palms started to sweat. She opened her mouth, but nothing came out.

I will not scream. I will not scream. I will not scream.

The audience was looking at her — patient, expectant. They believed she had something important to share. All because of the surgeon everyone here was listening to — because he believed she had something important to share.

She cleared her throat and forced herself to begin to explain the procedure. Once she started, she found she had a lot to say.

Once she started, she did great.

*

Twenty minutes into the happy hour, Dr. Morozova materialized at her side. “I’m going back to my room.”

“As keynote speakers tend to do when there are literal crowds of people wanting their time.” When he’d made his way over, he’d pulled a bubble of people with him, several of whom did not look like they were hoping to spend their time with him discussing surgery. “Too tired of having room keys thrown at you?”

The look he cut her reminded her of a particular type of incision that required a lot of stitches. “Nothing good happens in a room full of drunk surgeons. I advise you not to stay too long, either.”

A drink and a half later, Alina was starting to suspect he was right. “You’re Dr. Morozova’s resident?” a petite woman in heavy glasses was asking her. “Wow.”

“Lucky you,” the man next to her added.

“He’s been an incredible teacher,” Alina agreed.

“Among other things, I’m guessing.” The woman raised her eyebrows at Alina.

Alina’s mind blanked out. “What?”

“I mean … ” She looked at the man next to her who gave an encouraging nod. “All that anatomy, the long nights on call …” Her look was unmistakably suggestive and Alina finally got it.

“Oh, no,” she said. “Nope. That is not a thing that is happening.” She put down her drink. “I actually think I’m going to go now.”

“Makes sense.” The woman winked at her. “Have fun.”

“I am not sleeping with my attending.”

The man and woman looked at each other and shrugged. “If not you, I wonder who he’s with now?”

“Who he’s — he’s not —” Alina left the thought unfinished. Dr. Morozova’s sex life had never crossed her mind; sure, he was absurdly good looking, but he was her mentor. And for whatever reason, she didn’t picture him coming to a conference to sleep around.

But … did he? Were they right?

“I’m going to make this an early night,” Alina said.

“Well, ‘suture’ self,” the man replied as she walked away. He and the woman beside him both laughed hilariously.

The fourth floor hallway was quiet, and she was starting to feel a little more like herself. She passed room 416, and then she stopped. She couldn’t help herself; she walked backwards a few feet to the door and knocked.

He didn’t answer. Of course he didn’t answer. He must be out with one of those surgeons she’d seen him with earlier, or maybe out with a few of them. Alina was almost relieved; if he wasn’t here, if he was seeing people, then she didn’t have to make herself think about —

The door opened. “Can I help you?” Dr. Morozova asked.

Alina’s blush was fast and furious. She hoped he would assume it was from the alcohol. “Um. No. Nope!” she said. “I was just … checking?”

“Checking?”

“To see if you needed anything. Make sure you’re good to go. I was going to get some coffee.”

He leaned in closer to her and her heart sped up. What the heck? Why would it do that? It must be left over adrenaline from the speech, Alina told herself, well-aware that that was not how adrenaline worked.

“I don’t need coffee.”

“Great! Me neither.” What was happening? “Okie dokie, see you tomorrow.”

He squinted at her. “Are you alright?”

“You betcha.” She did little finger guns. This maybe she could blame on the alcohol, because even she wasn’t usually that bad. “See you later.”

She walked back to her room, and by the time she made it all the way down the hall, she’d pulled it together. She was his resident, that was it. She’d focus on learning everything from him that she could.

*

After a day of attending presentations, poster sessions, and eating terrible conference-center food, Alina was once again seated in the passenger seat beside her instructor, this time heading home. She was determined to not make it awkward.

“Why do you go to this conference every year?” she asked. “Just to speak?”

“Speaking is one reason.” He changed lanes. “I also come to learn.”

“You learned something at this conference?”

“I always do.” He glanced at her disbelief. “The day you stop learning is the day you die.”

“I don’t … ” Alina paused. “I mean, I haven’t been a doctor for as long as you have, but I’m pretty sure that’s not true.”

“Perhaps not.”

They passed a couple towns before he spoke again. “Have you thought about who you’d like to work with next year?”

The intern program at this hospital was two years long, and each year was with a different mentor. It shocked her to realize she was over halfway through her time with Dr. Morozova. She found she desperately didn’t want it to end, and his expertise was only half of the reason.

Oh, yipes. Where had that thought come from?

She coughed to stall for time. “Ummmm … I was thinking of maybe going for more of a specialty next year. Oral surgery?”

He gave a hum that was as smooth as the road beneath the car. “You could try it. I don’t think you’d like it.”

“Why?”

“Because I didn’t.”

The thought of him thinking them similar enough that their likes would overlap was interrupted by panic at what she at first feared was a medical emergency. It took her a few minutes to realize the weird way her heart was beating wasn’t anything like that.

They rode the rest of the way in silence.

*

The week after the conference had been a busy one at the hospital, and Alina had managed to avoid Dr. Morozova without making it obvious she was doing so. At least, she hoped it hadn’t been obvious.

There was a lot she needed to work out for herself – why did thinking of him increase the temperature of her internal organs? And, maybe more importantly: what could she do about it?

If she was interested in Dr. Morozova in any sort of romantic way — which she totally, totally, was not, because a) that would be a terrible idea and b) getting involved with a higher-ranking surgeon, let alone one who was managing her, was highly-unethical-if-not-strictly-prohibited — she would run into problem c): the odds that he would be interested in her as well.

A face like his would have plenty of people to choose from, if he ever left the hospital. Probably even if he didn’t.

Whatever. She couldn’t put off talking to him any longer. She exhaled and knocked on his door.

“Come in.”

He was bent over papers at his desk and she got to observe him as he read. The planes of his face, the set of his shoulders —

“Well?”

In her observation she had failed to notice he was looking up at her. Very cool, Alina. So cool. “Oh, um, I … had a question for you.” He kept looking at her in a way that made her want to cringe and somehow now also made her want to start taking her clothes off. She shut down that animal part of her brain and soldiered on.

She cleared her throat. “I have a shift next Tuesday, and my usual backup isn’t available. I’ve been having a hard time finding anyone who could take over if I’m in a surgery and something happens so I was wondering … if you could be … if I could put you down to be the one they call. Just backup.”

He stared at her hard for a few seconds, then slumped back in his chair. “Fine,” he said. “Make me your fill-in.”

Alina barely managed to not squeal her “thank you.” She was halfway to the door when he called after her. “Take that folder before you go.”

The folder was sitting on a shelf just at her chest level. “Study those tonight. Surgery tomorrow,” her mentor said.

She opened it and found a thick stack of case notes. She looked back at him and smiled. “They just happened to be sitting here?”

“I had a feeling you might come around,” he replied, making her wonder just how much of what was going on in her head he was able to see. She could have sworn there was something in his expression that she’d never seen before, though she couldn’t quite figure out what it was.

“Nice to see you again, Alina.”

[hheeyyhay]

The Familiarity of New Memories

Pairing: Hitoshi Shinso x Reader (can pass as gender neutral if ya squint)

Summary: Old traditions make way for new ones as reader makes new friends with the help of a certain ball of fur. 

OR Shinso volunteers at a shelter with a grumpy old cat who just so happens to play matchmaker between himself and the newcomer to town.

A/N: Hope you guys enjoy my contribution to the Konoha Simps’ latest server collab!! You can check out all the other wonderful pieces in this event right here. This is the first piece of fan fiction that I have written since high school, and the first piece I have ever put out into the world for others to see. I cannot thank the members of the Konoha Simps Server enough for giving me the motivation and courage I needed to FINALLY do this-- I love you guys so much!! 

Warning(s): fluff, mentions of anxiety/depression

quirkless college AU

Word Count: ~3K

There was no doubt about it, summer was officially on the way out. You could tell by the way green leaves were giving way to crisp splotches of red, yellow, and orange. In the way the cool breeze kissed your cheeks as it danced by. Most importantly, you could tell by the way your workload for classes picked up.

You tried to take in your surroundings-- take a moment to process a quick hello to autumn, and with it a farewell to simpler times. Gone would be the times where your biggest worries were what kind of trouble you would have to convince the rest of your friends to stay out of in between shifts at the local cafe. Normally, this goodbye was easier to say as it leaned to the happier side of bittersweet. After all, back home fall was your favorite season. That was all in the past though.

In your hometown, your walks around the neighborhood at the start of fall were comforting. You could stroll the streets with a snack in one hand, and a warm drink in the other as you headed to meet up with your friends under the canopy of changing leaves at the park. With textbooks sprawled across picnic tables and blankets the support of your friends kept you all warm against the slowly dropping temperatures. However, it was no longer the streets of your hometown that you were strolling along with a backpack over your shoulders, and it was no longer your friends at your side, but strangers.

You shivered, pulling your thick cardigan closer around yourself with a heavy sigh. You had been so certain that moving hundreds of miles away from home to finish your college work was a good idea. You had told your anxious family and friends that you would be fine, being alone in a new place for a while was just a sacrifice you had to be willing to make in order to pursue your dreams. Yet you began to doubt the truth in your own claims as the usual cold autumn wind whipped your hair about. It felt foreign rather than welcome as it would back home. The chill sunk into your bones where it mixed with your new found loneliness causing you to wrap your arms around your middle.

“I don’t know what I was thinking,” you thought to yourself pulling out your phone to see no new messages in response to all the ones you had sent out. You had known your friends for years and were lost without them. You sighed once more, shaking your head as you pocketed your phone. It had been the fifth time in an hour that you checked your phone knowing there were not any notifications you had already seen. You scolded yourself for being foolish and worrying that your friends had moved on without you. 

You had been distracted by the chatter of your own inner demons the entire rest of your walk, and it was not long before you were turning off the sidewalk onto the back walkway leading around to the front of the library.

You were headed inside to study on your own at the tables inside. It had become your new tradition after having found it too hard to study outside at any of the parks, where all the passerby would remind you of just how lonely you were here in this new town. As you rounded the corner and came up alongside the library you paused, noticing a lot more noise and chatter than usual. Balloons and signs amongst the visitors caught your eye. “Adoption day?”

You wandered closer to the tents that were set up in a corner of the parking lot. Upon closer inspection you realized that the people were gathering around various cages, crates, and pens filled with pets from the local shelter. There were as many different people there looking for new four legged family members to bring home as there were animals. Some children were leaning over a crate full of guinea pigs, others were picking out rabbits from one of the other pens, and still others were begging their parents for either a puppy or kitten. There were couples young and old alike speaking with the volunteers about which cat or dog was the best fit for them. You wished you could hang around a little longer, but there were so many people in such a small space that you could not help, but feel anxious. Turning away to finally walk inside you pulled out your phone once more to smile down at your lock screen; a photo of your cat from back home. 

Pocketing your phone you caught a glimpse of something familiar out of the corner of your eye. Following your line of sight as you walked away, you were surprised to recognize a boy from campus. If his wild purple hair and dark under eye bags were not enough to make him stand out from the crowd then his lanky limbs decked out in his unique dark, edgy style definitely was. You paused at the top of the staircase to the library and watched as he spun around to crouch in front of a cage. As he stood there squatting in front of the cage you realized that he was a volunteer from the shelter along with the others.

With one last final look over your shoulder you walked through the door, leaving the boy and all the homeless pets outside. As he disappeared from view at your departure, you caught a last glimpse of him pulling a rather forsaken cat out of the cage he had previously been standing in front of. Heading to your usual secluded table behind some less frequented bookshelves you tried to not think of the cat or the boy who held it in his arms. From what you had observed from your short visit to the Adoption Day Event, no one else had shown the poor old cat any sort of attention. The lump of fur was not only fluffy, but a bit on the large side, and while his coat was far from scraggly you could tell that he had only recently fallen on some sort of good fortune. He was missing a leg and both eyes, rendering him blind. It made you sad to think that the others were more than likely passing over the cat in favor of the other healthier, younger cats who would not have as many problems. As far as the boy, you could not even begin to guess why he seemed to be clouding up your thoughts. It was not like you had ever spoken to him before. 

Your thoughts were a jumbled mess and before you had known it you were throwing your pen down in frustration. “Ughhhh! This is useless! It has been two hours and I have barely put a dent into this chapter,” you dropped your head into your notebook as you slammed your textbook closed. 

“Maybe I would have been better off just studying at home afterall,” you thought to yourself as you packed up the rest of your belongings. 

You stopped at the circulation desk on your way to the exit to check out a book you had reserved on your previous trip in. “At least today wasn’t a total loss,” you thought to yourself as you gripped the book to your chest and headed for the door.

As you threw open the door and made your exit you were once again met with the chill of the outside air. It did not feel as cold as it had that morning though. You looked down at the book clutched to your chest and then back out across the parking lot. With a smile on your face and a new sense of determination that you had not felt since you had moved you found yourself walking across back to the makeshift shelter. The crowds from earlier had long since thinned only serving to further justify your impulsive decision. 

With a deep breath you had brought yourself up to one of the tables where the last few volunteers were congregated around the forlorn cat. Everything else was just about picked up and it was clear he had not been able to find a “furever” home at the event. The volunteers, mostly middle aged women with bright smiles, greeted you and asked if you wanted any information on the shelter they were from or if you were perhaps interested in volunteering yourself.

You explained that you had recently moved to the area to finish your schooling, but that you had been especially missing your cat from back home. You showed them a few pictures as you expressed interest in the cat lounging on the table and using his one good front paw to swat away anyone who tried to pet him.

A deep voice from behind you startled you out of your conversation, “You really want that mangey thing instead of a cute kitten?” 

You turned around and were met with the lanky boy from campus. You had been about to argue with him, stand up for your new feline friend when you noticed the boy was giving you a devilish smirk and rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “Shinso Hitoshi,” he extended his other hand to you, “I’ve uh--seen you around school a few times.”

You shook the offered hand and introduced yourself as well, “We have two classes together. I’d hope you’ve seen me around at least once or twice.” You tried to play it off cool as a blush crept up the back of your own neck. Your eyes searched each other up and down briefly and it took a lot of self control to not make an attempt to hide your face as you felt the blush grow across your cheeks as you watched Shinso’s own face begin to turn red. 

“Ahh, well, I’m fostering old Charlie here until he recovers more from his surgery,” Shinso made a show of gesturing to his own eyes and then to Charlie’s like it was some secret or he did not want to hurt the cat’s feelings. You could not help, but stifle a laugh. From the impressions you had of Shinso you had not expected him to be so forward, or funny for that matter. “Lucky for you, Charlie is quite picky and has scared away any potential suitors.”

Shinso reached around you and was able to give Charlie a few successful scratches under his chin. You reached forward too and copied Shinso’s movements. While Charlie was a little hesitant at first, he quickly warmed up to you and much to Shinso’s surprise, even let you pick him up and give him forehead kisses.

“Alright, well I guess you passed the test,” he congratulated you as he took Charlie from your arms and gently placed him into a carrier. “He has another week or so, until he’s ready to go to a new home. If you want you can fill out one of the adoption contact cards and then one of us at the shelter can give you a call when it’s time for him to get ready to go home to you?” Shinso turned away as he once again began rubbing the back of his neck as he started turning red again, “Orrrrr, I don’t know. Maybe you could give me your number and I could text you updates or something?”

The other volunteers had slowly begun to disperse during your interaction with Shinso, and the last older woman who was left chuckled a bit to herself as she passed you a clipboard with the adoption paperwork. “Just fill this out for me dear and then Charlie will be all yours pending his final follow up with the vet. Shinso can go ahead and answer any questions you may have.” She gave you a final pat on the shoulder as she wandered off to help the others finish cleaning up.

You quickly filled out the paperwork and handed it back to Shinso, your phone sitting on top of the clipboard unlocked and already opened to the messaging app so he could add his number, “Please don’t tell me you volunteer at the shelter just to use the poor animals as your wingmen.”

Shinso made quick work of adding his number to your contacts and made sure he had yours as well before adding the clipboard to a pile on the table. “Only when they help me get the courage to finally talk to a girl I’ve had my eye on since she first transferred a couple weeks ago.” His face was red and his eyes were downcast. You wondered if maybe your first impressions of him were true and that Charlie had inspired him to do something out of his comfort zone just like the cat had done for you.

You could not put your finger on it, but you once again found your thoughts swimming with the boy from campus. This time though you had a name and even a voice to put to the face. You were not ready to say goodbye and decided to stay to help Shinso and the other volunteers finish cleaning up. The sun was quickly setting at that point and as the darkness rolled in so did another bout of cool autumn wind. However, this time you hardly noticed it. It carried a clean, crisp scent of fall that felt the most familiar than it had since your move. 

You passed the time with idle chit chat, quickly becoming closer and closer to Shinso. You learned a lot about each other and came to realize you had a lot more in common than you would have ever thought. 

Pausing you closed your eyes and tilted your head back taking a few deep breaths. It had been ages since you felt this content. You were not alone, you were not worried about the many different reasons your friends could possibly have for not texting you back, and you were not worried about the fear of never finding somewhere to fit in within this new place. You walked over to where Shinso had Charlie’s carrier resting on the sidewalk leading towards the back of the library. Kneeling down you poked your fingers as far through the bars as you could manage, “Thanks Charlie. Without you, I really wouldn’t have any friends here and I don’t think I would be able to love the fall anymore. With you by my side maybe I’ll be able to remember being stuck in this new place will be worth it all in the end.” 

You had not realized that Shinso had come up behind you, and you bumped into him as you tried standing up. He gripped your elbow tightly as you regained your balance, “So you really are new around here huh? I thought so, but. Well. I don’t know.” Shinso shrugged his shoulders sheepishly as he let go of you and quickly gave you back your space. As he avoided your gaze and looked up at the setting sun you noticed just how dark the circles under his eyes really were. 

“Yeah. Uhm,” you shifted your weight back and forth nervously as you tugged at your own sleeves. “Thanks for helping me with the adoption stuff. I hope Charlie doesn’t give you too much of a hard time before he can come home.”

There was a tension in the air as you were both starting to get cold as the dark approached, but neither of you particularly wanted to be the first to leave. You tucked a strand of loose hair between your ear, using the action to hide your face a bit as you gnawed on your lip. Shinso mirrored your uneasy behavior, staying halfway turned away and pulling his fingers through the mop of purple hair on his head. Luckily, Charlie had woken up and given a pitiful meow that sounded more like a chirp. It was just the encouragement you both needed as you and Shinso were once again able to make eye contact.

“It’s getting pretty dark and looks like it may rain,” Shinso broke away and looked up at the sky momentarily. You could not help, but be mesmerized by the way the sunset played on his pale features, accentuating his jawline. You felt the blush making its presence known on your face once more and simply nodded. Charlie chirpped again as if he were trying to encourage Shinso to continue on before he blew his shot. “My place isn’t too far from here. We could head there and hangout with Charlie for a bit to wait out the rain, and then I could walk you home if you’d like?...”

You could tell Shinso was nervous to hear your answer as he began rubbing at the back of his neck. Grabbing his wrist to gently guide it back down you flashed him a genuine smile as it felt like a weight was being lifted from your shoulders. The moment was interrupted by Charlie who decided that was the perfect opportunity to make it known that it was past his dinner time. “Come on Shinso, we wouldn’t want to make old Charlie think we’re planning on starving him.”

Shinso laughed and bent down to grab the carrier. “Wait until he realizes he’s going on a d-i-e-t after he’s fully healed up,” he spelt out. Charlie made a noise from the back of his carrier like he understood what Shinso was saying and was not pleased about it, which only made you laugh that much harder.

You once again found yourself taking the rear pathway behind the library into town. This time was different though. You were no longer alone. You had two new friends you could confide in. The leaves dancing in the autumn breeze were once again a welcomed sight. The dropping temperatures no longer reached the innermost corners of your bones amplifying your loneliness. The ghosts of the memories of your friends were no longer haunting you everywhere you looked as you walked down the street. There was now someone special you could create new memories and cherish the autumn with.

[1-800-sunset]



Okay I got a college Dabihawks quirkless AU ft. Trans Keigo

Keigo is just another broke college student who made it in on a scholarship. Even though he was on a scholarship, living in an apartment with his best friend Rumi was hard. Not to mention Testerone shots weren’t cheap. Thankfully Rumi’s family has always had his back. When they were still in high school, it was thanks to them that he was able to get top surgery and get his name changed. His home life was pretty tough; his mom and dad were both terrible people. His dad was always in and out of jail and when he was home he would hurt his mom and him. But his mom wasn’t any better; she also took out her anger on him and would abuse substances. In eighth grade he was kicked out of the house when his mom went through his phone and found out he was Trans. Rumi’s family swooped in so quickly to take him under their custody. It’s not like either of his parents cared enough to fight them in a custody battle. Rumi had always been there for him. The Usagiyamas offered to pay for his college tuition but Keigo couldn’t let them do that so in High School he worked his butt off to go on a scholarship. Sure he was intelligent but he also put in the wok to earn what he wanted. The college he attended had one of those student program jobs which he gladly accepted the one where he got to work in the library. It just made sense to him since he was an English major. 

His favorite class had to be poetry. Sure he loved to read novels and add little notes in the margins but he has always felt comfort in poetry. Poetry was what kept him alive on those dark days in his parents’ old trailer. But it was sometimes hard to focus in that class because there was a guy who sat behind him in the next aisle that was always staring at him. He went by the name Dabi, whenever the teacher tried to say his name he would always cut her off. Dabi dressed like your stereotypical delinquent, always sporting ripped jeans and leather jacket. His nose, ears, and mouth pierced, tattoos that ran down his neck and arms and not to mention his hair was obviously dyed black. On the days Keigo really wasn’t having it he would turn around and send him a death glare as a way to tell him to cut it out. Dabi unfazed would just smirk back at him, earning an eye roll from Keigo who clearly gave up. 

If the staring in class wasn’t enough Dabi eventually found out that Keigo’s worked in the library and soon started to show up there to the dismay of Keigo. This guy sure did like to bother him. Rumi after telling her what was going on, laughed and said Dabi was probably trying to get with him. Keigo only laughed and threw his pillow at her. No way a guy like him was trying to get with Keigo. One day Keigo got sick and couldn’t make it to his job. But Rumi needed to meet up with a partner to work on a project in the library. There she found Dabi who seemed like he was looking for someone. Just from the description that Keigo gave her, she was able to figure out that he was Dabi. So she decided to help the guy out a little. She sat across from him, and he looked up at her in a way that told her to scram. She just smirked.

“Keigo’s not here today. He got sick yesterday and it’s taken him awhile to recover.”

His blue eyes widened in surprise because he didn’t expect her to know why he was here.

“The name’s Rumi. I’m his sister.” She said while extending her hand to him which he reluctantly shook. She knew that he was questioning their relation  since they looked nothing alike.

“Dabi. Now why are you telling me this?”

“Look Dabi, Keigo may be obvious but I am not. I know what you are trying to do.” 

Her suspicions were correct in the way that his cheeks flushed and diverted his eyes.

“Normally I would threaten to rip you apart but I decided I was gonna take pity on you and give you a hand.” His eyes lit up in a way that reminded her of a puppy. Oh yes he may be just what Keigo needs. 

“Keigo loves sweets. Sugar is his favorite thing in the world.That bastard has the fastest metabolism I have ever seen; he could eat desserts for days without gaining a single pound. If you want to get to his heart go through his stomach. Bring him poetry god he loves poetry more than life itself.” Rumi said with a soft look in her eye. She got up from her seat and before walking away Dabi spoke.

“How do you know if you can trust me.”

“I don’t.”

“.... thank you” was all Dabi could mutter, earning a smile from Rumi.

Dabi decided to take Rumi’s advice and started to bring Keigo sweets before their class started. Keigo was surprised to say the least that Dabi was giving him food but he wasn’t going to turn away sugar and would accept it. Making Dabi smile at him. He sure was confused to why he was doing this but hey free food is free food. On the days he worked. Dabi would stop with the whole staring at him from afar and snarky remarks when checking out books. Instead he would lean over and talk to him about their class and discuss their different analyses. Turns out Dabi had some pretty solid points. Dabi would sometimes even slide a poetry book over to him and every time he would try and return it he would refuse insisting Keigo keep it. Keigo’s reaction would always be to smile and look down at the floor as he hugged the book. Dabi’s heart would flutter at his smile only making him want to bring it out even more. One night when Keigo was leaving work Dabi decided to ask him if he would want to go to a local cafe. Keigo originally said no but his stomach eventually gave in. Dabi was ecstatic and they ate together. It was during this time that Dabi realized how much smaller Keigo was compared to him.This became their routine. Keigo would always try to fight him on paying the bill but Dabi would always win. He used his card so damn often that Keigo was definitely worried for his credit score. Dabi would only give him a lopsided smile and assure him that it was fine.

Rumi one night asks him how was his date with Dabi in which he denies it is a date. But the thought stays in his head and he can’t help but think were all those trips to eat were dates. The next day he doesn’t even look at Dabi; he's too caught up in his own mind. This stresses Dabi the fuck out because he doesn’t know if he accidentally did something to make the blond mad at him. So at Keigo’s job he asks if he did something wrong. Keigo really can’t bring himself to lie to the guy he really grew to like.

“Dabi… were all those trips to go eat together dates?” He asked not to look at him jut in case he was wrong he wouldn’t have to see the rejection.

Dabi sheepishly rubbed his neck debating whether or not to tell the truth.

“Well um uh yes…”

“Oh…” blush rising on both their faces. 

“Look Keigo, I really like you and I want to continue to go on those kinds of dates. But if you don’t I um… understand.” He was able to push out laying it all on the line.

“ I want to.. I mean yes I will go on more dates with you.” Keigo was able to say as the blush on his face grew darker. Dabi’s entire face lit up in happiness.

They start to date each other doing normal things aside from eating out. Dabi goes out of his way to shower Keigo with both gifts. Dabi really liked to show his affection physically in the forms of hugging and kissing. But sometimes they would start to get frisky which would always freak him out because he hasn’t told Dabi he was trans. He was mostly afraid. He really liked Dabi but he was so afraid of him breaking up with him. Dabi never pushed him to tell him what was wrong and would drop it, opting to hold him instead. One instance he decides to tell him the truth, he expected him to maybe yell at him in betrayal but instead he got a kiss. Dabi reassured him that he still liked him even if he was trans. Things start to get easier after that and Dabi even begins to help buy his testosterone shots, even bringing him cookies as a treat to make him feel better.

Eventually they talk about their childhoods. When Keigo tells him, he has to physically stop Dabi from getting up to try and hunt his garbage parents down. He explains how he doesn’t care about them anymore and the Usagiyamas are his true family. Dabi reveals that he is actually Touya Todoroki, son of Enji Todoroki, a well known billionaire. His dad was a terrible person, Dabi told Keigo of all the things he did to his family like the physical, emotional and mental abuse they had to endure. This drove them apart.  After his mom finally divorced his dad, he was legally obligated to give all members of his family a generous amount of money per month. Dabi used his on his college tuition and then later used it to shower his boyfriend with sweets and gifts. Dabi found it hard to talk with his family without feeling overwhelmed with bitter resentment for his dad. That night they just hold each other not wanting to let go.

During winter break Keigo decides to invite Dabi to celebrate Christmas with him and Rumi’s family. Dabi was reluctant but eventually gave in. The Usagiyamas were one of the nicest people Dabi has ever met and he was glad that they were able to care for Keigo for all these years. Rumi’s parents take a liking to him and unofficially make him a part of their family. It’s after this trip that Dabi realizes he misses his family. With Keigo by his side he reaches out to them and they decide to get together for New Year’s. Keigo offers him a gentle squeeze  of his hand when that day arrives and they are in front of his sister’s door.  He looks into Keigo’s golden eyes and gives him a nervous smile. Everything was going to be okay.

[moonxvxsun]

aaaa i love the morning sickness one! id love to read the continuation :)

here is the second part! there can be a third part if there is enough interest in it. but remember this is all in the past all of this already happened. here is how Ryver and Myla first met!

TW: sexual assault, transphobia, not respecting pronouns, emeto

everything in italics is sign language

-------------------------------

Ryver was broken, completely broken. Not only because all of this was the product of the night he'll never talk about. The night he can't forget about. The night that replays in his head over and over and over again. But because while he was transgender, he wasn't able to get the surgery and it wasn't even something that he was sure that he wanted. Despite that, he still hated all of his female parts, all the parts of him that gave people ammunition to invalidate who he was as a person.

Sitting in the exam room, he was having a full-on panic attack. His mental state was broken, completely broken. Once he ran out of energy he basically collapsed on the exam bed, crying himself to sleep. There was no way the hospital would let him leave, he was broken.

He was moved up to the psych ward and refused to talk to anyone, to eat, or sleep. He did nothing but just stare at the blank wall. He had to be given IVs to give nutrients to him and the baby.

"He's new, he's eighteen and he agreed to try this new type of therapy. Go in and good luck, if he doesn't respond that's normal, but give it time. He is also hard of hearing, but you're proficient in ASL, so it shouldn't be a problem."

Ryver was sitting in his room on his bed staring at the wall, he had agreed to try a new form for therapy thinking that nothing would work anyway so he didn't care.

"Ryver, hello. My name Myla Fitz, I'm a senior in high school and I'm volunteering for the new teen help program." A small girl in a white dress said as they walked into the room. Her voice sounded like the voice of an angel, Ryver couldn't help but turn to see the owner of the voice. Looking at her, he was sure that she was an angel.

"I understand that you've been here for over a month now and that you're three months pregnant." She said softly and looked up at him smiling, he had the cutest little baby bump and despite how sad and depressed he looked, he was gorgeous. "I know that you haven't talked to anyone since you found out you were pregnant and that you've dropped out of college. Can you tell me what you're feeling?"

Ryver just shook his head, but that was more than he's done in months. "Ryver, I understand that things are hard for you right now. And I know that you might not want to talk about you yet, so I'll tell you about me so you know who you'd be opening up to." Myla smiled as she sat down in a chair across from him and crossed her legs. "I had just been accepted to college, I wanted to go far away but I decided that our hometown college here was the best place for me to be. I'm actually pretty nervous about college, my twin Avi is also going to be attending the same college but we're trying to branch out our friend groups. But I'm glad to have my twin there with me, I always feel like I need to protect Avi...people have always bullied them and while I'm more dainty I would seriously hurt anyone who comes near them. Avi goes by they/him pronouns and is more masculine even though we are identical twin sisters. But I just call Avi my twin, I hope no one is mean to them...High school has been hard for Avi. They're actually the reason I joined this program, they were locked in their room refusing to talk to anyone until they found this program. They really helped Avi, I owe this group my life for saving them, I want to help people too."

"I became pregnant because a boy I liked asked me to go to a party at his frat and we started getting more... intense... but his friends were all hiding taking pictures and videos proving that I wasn't a boy..." Ryver finally spoke and signed his voice weak and tears were filling his eyes. "I go to the college where you're going, and I hope your twin never has to experience what I've gone through."

Myla didn't know what to do, they just wanted to run to Ryver and hold them and protect them. It was the same anger that they felt whenever someone was mean to Avi. "Ryver, I'm so sorry that happened to you, and I'm so proud of you for being able to tell me that." Myla signed back before she stood up and walked over to the bed and sat beside him and held out her hand. "I'm glad you could trust me Ryver, and if you're more comfortable, I'm fluent in ASL."

Ryver smiled, for the first time in months, he smiled as he looked over at Myla and grabbed her hand, and squeezed it before letting go and signing. I don't know what to do, I don't want to terminate Myla... but I'm only eighteen...

There's always adoption, but I know that there is a lot of thought that goes into this. But remember Ryver, you're not alone. You have the hospital staff and I'll be here to check in on you while you're still a part of the program.

Ryver just nodded, but the thought and anxiety of everything were overtaking him, along with the smell of his lunch that was being brought into the room. I feel sick... He spoke softly and a wet belch escaped his lips and his face dropped, he was so embarrassed. He couldn't focus, he was so embarrassed, and the anxiety of it all, he just burped again, this time a small stream of bile coming up and pouring all down his front. He barely had time to recover before his stomach lurched and a thinker stream of chunky green and brown vomit spilled all down his front. Myla didn't move, despite the vomit getting on the edge of her dress, she just stayed calm and rubbed his back.

Ryver had never been so embarrassed in his whole life. He had been throwing up every day in front of countless nurses and doctors but today was different, there was an actual angel before him and he got sick on her beautiful dress. But instead of being disgusted she just sat calmly and helped him pass his nausea.

Ryver, you're okay. Calm down okay, and take a breath, okay? Myla spoke and signed. She was internally thanking her twin for being obsessed with learning ASL.

Ryver just nodded but he was still feeling terrible. Though his nausea had passed, his whole body felt weak and that's not to mention how embarrassed he was about getting sick on Myla's dress.

I'm sorry about your dress...That was gross, I feel so bad...

No please don't apologize Ryver. I'll let you get cleaned up and I have to go change. But before that, I'll be back next week and we can chat again. I hope you can start to feel a little better and return to your normal life.

Ryver couldn't respond. It had been such a long time since he had felt so loved and cared for, even if was just a volunteer who he figured probably didn't even care about them. But he couldn't help how much this visit meant to him, and how cared for he felt.

What was he going to do? Was he going to actually go through with this?

[ryqoshay]

How to Handle a Nico 10

Primary Pairing: NicoMaki Words: ~2.6k Rating: G Time Frame: Maki is a surgeon. Nico is working as an idol producer. They are living together as a happily married couple.

Author’s Note: A bunch of cobbled together headcanons that I hope to someday expand upon and turn into full scenes in their own right, just like the rest of the numbered chapters. This one was inspired by VNVdarkangel’s fiception story about Egao Jōshō, to which I will link in the followup post.

“Nico Nico Ni~!” Nico sang as soon as she entered the room.

“Nico Nico Ni~!” An excited group of children sang in return, mimicking the twin-tailed idol’s signature gesture.

“Someone’s as popular as ever with the kids.” Tsubasa murmured to a redhead beside her, just loud enough to ensure Nico could hear.

“That’s because she is still like a kid.” Maki replied in a similar volume.

Nico resisted gritting her teeth and maintained her smile as she continued to greet the audience. The small room was packed from wall to wall with inpatient children, some in wheelchairs and one in a gurney. All were ready for a brief respite from their routines of surgeries, treatments, therapies and whatever else was being done to help them recover. Several attending staff members were also present as well as a handful of parents or other family members.

“Thank you for that wonderful greeting!” Nico cheered. “Now let’s all thank the woman who continues to ensure these concerts can occur; the amazingly adorable Dr. Maki-chan!” She swung her arms around in an exaggerated manner to indicate the woman beside her.

“Thank you, Dr. Maki-chan!” the children turned their attention to the named redhead.

“N-Nico-chan…” Maki protested quietly, unable to resist a blooming blush across her cheeks as she bowed in acknowledgement of the thanks.

Well, that was sufficient revenge against Maki. Nico then decided to leave getting back at Tsubasa for later. For now, she had a concert to run.

Nico took the single step up onto the raised section at the front of the room. It was an area small enough that her old school idol group, µ’s, would have barely fit with enough room to dance in place and have been hard pressed to perform larger scale choreography. Still, a stage was a stage, and Nico lived for every moment upon one. Likewise, an audience was an audience, and Nico’s heart pounded in anticipation as she turned to face a small sea of smiling faces.

Tsubasa gave a quick countdown with her fingers from her position at the karaoke machine and the moment she hit Play, the concert began.

By the gods, the thrill never faded. Nico threw herself into her performance with the same passion as when she had shared the stage with µ’s. It didn’t matter that she had been doing this for years. It didn’t matter that she could only dedicate a woefully small fraction of her time to the stage as her primary duties were to run her company. It didn’t matter that the high majority of the idols currently contracted with her company were around a decade younger than her. Nico was born to perform and would always give everything she had to her fans. Even if her fanbase eventually shrunk to just one person…

One fan…

There had been a couple times in her life that Nico had believed she had lost her entire fanbase; that she was hopelessly lost as an idol. The second half of her first and the entirety of her second year in high school, she had stewed alone in the clubroom, growing more bitter and jaded with each passing day. But the fiery passions within her had been reignited when she joined µ’s in her third year. It was in that group that she found a fiery redhead who captured her attention and became someone whose attention she sought in return.

Nico’s gaze found the redhead, no longer an idol, but now a doctor, leaning casually against the doorframe, ready to slip away swiftly and stealthily should some situation arise somewhere in the hospital. Maki, her wife and by far and away her favorite fan.

Maki was there the second time Nico thought she had lost it all, when the fact that the two were dating became a scandal that ended her solo idol career. Nozomi, Eli and the rest of her friends did their best to show Nico that she wasn’t alone this time, but looking back, Nico knew little of it would have mattered if she had lost Maki then. But she didn’t. Maki remained by her side, supporting her however she could and regularly reminding her of her duties as an idol; making people smile, even if just one person.

Also, years ago, in a rare moment of utter openness, Maki had admitted that when Nico was in the audience, she was the only one that mattered. Certainly, Maki loved sharing her music with others, especially those close to her. In fact, it was for this reason that she didn’t put up resistance when Honoka continued to insist on having Christmas reunions at the Nishikino home, even years after everyone had graduated. However, everyone else seemed to disappear if Nico was around as Maki had come to enjoy the attention Nico paid her. And as time went by, she started to crave it.

Nico hadn’t really thought about things in the same way Maki had explained them, but she realized that she held a similar sentiment. As much as Nico loved the lights, the cameras, the crowd, the cheers, the giddy and giggling girls anxiously awaiting autographs, it all paled in comparison to the attention and adoration of one fan. And the fact that Maki felt the same in return made it all the better.

Enthusiastic applause and cheers filled the room as the final song of the set came to an end, bringing Nico back to reality from the euphoric trance her performance had induced within her. She bowed and thanked the audience before relinquishing the stage to another raven-haired woman.

The younger idol was one who had taken Egao’s college program that allowed her to take classes alongside beginning her career as an idol. Recently, she had earned her degree and thus fulfilled her parents’ requirements. Immediately, she signed a full-time contract and dived headlong into the world of idols with a passion rivaling the likes of Egao’s founding members. This of course included active participation in the company’s volunteer program as often as possible, like today’s concert.

Nico made her way toward her wife while the stage behind her was set ablaze by the intensity of the performance.

“Another good show.” Maki said quietly so as not to distract from the idol on stage.

Nico offered a grateful smile before turning her back to the wall, leaning into her wife and resting her head on the taller woman’s shoulder.

“You’re definitely doing your duty as an idol, today, Nico-chan.” Maki continued, surprising Nico by sliding her hand into hers and intertwining their fingers. “Just look at all those smiles.” She smiled as well as she gazed fondly at the room as a whole. “You know, some days I believe this program does more good for these kids than all of the PT and treatments combined.”

Nico chuckled. “I dunno, I may sing my heart out up there, but I can’t mend a broken bone or treat any sort of disease, unlike my marvelous Maki-chan.”

“But you help ease the stress of the whole ordeal of being in a hospital as a child. I don’t think we’ll ever be able to definitively quantify the amount of improvements made. But there is no doubt that this makes a difference.” She squeezed her wife’s hand. “You make a difference. And I can’t thank you enough for keeping this project running.”

Nico decided to let Maki have the last point and offered her a hand squeeze in return. Sure, it had originally been Nico’s idea to start holding concerts in the Nishikino hospital, but the project would have never gotten off the ground had it not been for Maki.

Well, spinoff project, really. Egao’s volunteer program predated the production company itself. It all started with a request from Hanayo for Nico to help an overextended Rin. The orange-haired young woman had been working an internship position at a local school and was recognized by the fledgling idol group there. Though Rin wasn’t the type to complain about it, Hanayo was sensitive to the stress caused by trying to maintain a classwork, an internship and help a newly formed school idol group.

Nico, who was spending most of her days then awaiting approvals and licensing for this and that to get Egao up and running, had more free time to lend assistance to the group. Then Hanayo made a few appearances after her classes. Soon after, Tsubasa, Erena and Anju took time out of their schedules as well. Everyone involved had so much fun working with the up and coming idols that they quickly agreed with Nico’s idea to turn it into one of the cornerstones of Egao’s business philosophies.

Thus, the Pro Bono Schola Idoli project began. Just as lawyers in many areas were expected to put in so many hours a month for clients unable to pay normal rates, so too would Egao expect their employees to assist the next generations of idols. The project grew to include all areas, from pushing past trouble points in song writing to reviewing choreography, as well as donating materials for costume creation or making connections to secure areas for live performances. Naturally, the idols were expected to do the bulk of the work themselves, but quite often, even something as simple as receiving praise, criticism and advice from professionals was enough to boost moral for many groups.

It was through this program that Egao earned much of its notoriety in the industry and Nico began to worry about having enough volunteers to fill the incoming requests. But, much to her delight, such a situation rarely came to pass. In fact, after a couple years, the project began being mentioned by new hires and contractors as being a reason for their desire to work with Egao. And of course, with that level of popularity, other companies began to take notice and slowly, ever so slowly, started rolling out similar programs of their own, though to nowhere near a degree as Egao.

But a live idol performance in a hospital? Maki’s father had been right in saying the idea was utterly ridiculous. What had they been thinking all those years ago?

It was for the fans. Everything was always for the fans. Keep them smiling, even when, or perhaps especially when they were lying in a gurney, awaiting their terminal illness to take its final toll…

Jizenka… An amazing artist and avid fan. The first concert had been for her and had intended to be a special, onetime-only thing.

But news spread fast, and soon a nurse approached Maki about another young fan. And then another request came in. And then one for A-RISE. Then another. And another.

Nico heard from both Maki and Miyuki, the hospital’s head administrative assistant, about the heated debates among senior hospital staff as the concerts began to increase in frequency. Surprisingly, it was Maki’s father that ended up fighting the hardest to allow the concerts to continue. Through it all, he maintained his distaste for the genre of idol music but became unwavering in his position that the positive results he was seeing outweighed the potential disruptions. Certainly, it helped that all involved took extra precautions to minimalize such possible disruptions to normal hospital functions.

Eventually, and unsurprisingly, perpetual private performances proved to be unsustainable. Maki initially attempted to secure occasional use for the hospital’s auditorium, but that area wasn’t the most accessible for some patients, specifically those needing to remain in bed; the room wasn’t designed with gurneys in mind, after all.

Nico couldn’t remember who originally made the suggestion, but as the high majority of the patients attending the concerts were children, constructing a small addition to the children’s wing ended up being the best solution. The project was funded in full by generous donations from grateful parents with the excess being donated to children’s medical research. A dedicated area with full hospital level access, yet outside both general and emergency traffic paths and was an easy green light to be given by the paternal Dr. Nishikino.

Once the auditorium was built, it didn’t take long for other companies to take interest and the possibility of other, non-idol genres of productions started to become a reality. However, with two performances a week dedicated to the genre, the idols remained the most popular. Maki designated Egao as the point of contact for scheduling events and Nico maintained the position that all events would be free to those attending. Parents or others wishing to provide monetary compensation were asked instead to donate the sum to a designated list of charities, just like the excess funds from building the auditorium.

“Excuse me, Yazawa-san.” A woman said, her voice barely audible above the joyous cries of adoration as the second performer concluded her set and allowed the women of A-RISE to take the stage.

“Nico is fine.” The idol producer replied with a smile, turning toward the other woman.

“The nurse said we couldn’t buy tickets…”

Nico nodded. “That’s right, these events are free for patients and a limited number of their guests, courtesy of Egao Jōshō and the Nishikino hospital.”

A familiar expression crossed the woman’s face, one Nico had seen hundreds of times before. “My son has been a big fan of the girl who was just on stage and he was overjoyed to learn that she would be coming this week. Are you sure there is nothing I can offer, payment for an autograph or something?”

A card entered Nico’s field of vision. “Here is a list of medical charities.” She heard her wife explain. “Whatever price you believe would be appropriate, we ask that you donate that sum to one of them.”

“Thanks, Maki-chan.” Nico flashed a grin at the redhead. “Also,” she turned her attention back to the parent “if your son has any merchandise with him, we’ll be sure he gets it signed by his favorite idol. If he doesn’t have an item, we have plenty of paper.”

“Thank you.” The woman said, seeming to be holding back tears. “Truly, thank you.” With that, she bowed and made her way back to where her son sat in a wheelchair, barely having noticed her absence as his attention was held exclusively by the continuing performance on stage.

“You keep your own supply of cards now?” Nico couldn’t help murmuring to her wife.

“Of course.” Maki replied. “Your idol outfits don’t typically come with pockets.”

“True…” Nico returned to her prior position of leaning into Maki. “Say, Maki-chan, how much time do you have left before you have to go back?”

“I can stay until the end, unless some emergency happens, of course. Why?”

“Nico is starting to get hungry and now wants to have lunch with her favoritest Maki-chan before we both head back to work.”

“Oh… I’d… be alright with that…”

Nico giggled quietly, not having to look up to know the expression on the taller woman’s face. After a moment, she knelt to retrieve her phone.

No1Idol: I’m stealing Maki-chan for an early lunch

ByōinKasan: Roger that

ByōinKasan: Have fun you two

Nico smiled at the swift response from Miyuki. There was always the chance that Maki could end up being called back for something major, but at least this way, all minor things could be redirected to other staff or asked to wait a little while.

As the final song of the concert came to an end, Nico grabbed Maki’s hand. “C’mon. Let’s go.”

“Alright.” Maki replied, allowing herself to be led into the hall. But after a couple steps, she paused. “Ne, Nico-chan…”

“Mmm?” Nico turned as she felt resistance.

“I…” Maki glanced around, likely to ensure a lack of witnesses. “I love you.”

“I know.” Nico resisted the urge to tease her wife about her behavior. Sneaking in a quick statement like that before the hall was to be filled with people exiting the auditorium wasn’t quite as public a display as Nico liked to do herself, but for someone like Maki, it still meant a lot. “I love you too, Maki-chan.”

With their routine completed, the couple continued toward their destination of a shared lunch break.

Author’s Note Continued in Followup Post

[jinkisbelly]

Selcouth

Pairing: Onho,

Rating: pg

W/c 7k or so

Warnings: mentions of depression and symptoms of it

Summary:  For as long as Minho has known Jinki, his voice had always been a defining factor of his being. Neither are sure who the man will be if he loses it forever.

A/n: First, This is for summer of shinee, prompt 81 which was, After undergoing vocal polyp surgery,  Jinki isn't allowed to speak. While putting on a brave face, he feels lonelier than he expected. Minho helps him see the light in any way he can. While putting on a brave face, he feels lonelier than he expected. Minho helps him see the light in any way he can.I had many plans for this, but life happened. I do hope this is still enjoyable and I do plan on revisiting it at a later date <3

Second, Selcouth means Strange, unusual, rare; unfamiliar; marvelous, wondrous. I decided to go with the unusual and unfamiliar, to eventually, Marvelous

AFF   Ao3

         The crisp winter air blew against his thick coat as Minho strode down the pavement toward his best friend’s apartment building. The gift bag swung gently, the handles cutting into the leather of his gloves, and he flexed his fingers to return some of the feeling into them. Between the chilly weather and the slight cold he was coming down with, Minho’s nose was bright red as he sniffled underneath his mask. Whatever it was, he hoped it got over with rather quickly. With the deadline coming soon for the next book, talking with his editor about upcoming fan encounters, and signing a few copies of his previous editions, his next couple months were packed full. But that all could wait for now. For he had a gift to deliver to his best friend.

         No matter how many times Jinki got cast in a musical or play, Minho kept up the tradition of getting him a gift. He had started in high school when Jinki got the lead in his junior year spring musical. Through them going to separate schools for college, he sent them in the mail. And yet, every time Jinki was just as surprised to get the gift as he was the first time. It was rather cute if Minho thought about it. One would think after being friends for so long and having the gift-giving tradition, that Jinki would learn to almost expect it. Then again it was Jinki, who still had his day made by the little mints Mr. Jung always gave him every morning.

         He pushed open the swirling door of Jinki’s apartment building and dusted his chest and hat free of snow with his free hand. The doorman smiled as he stepped in from the drizzle of snow falling outside. “Hello, Mr. Jung.”

         The lobby had a few people going about their days in the late afternoon, but Minho paid them no mind as he approached the older man. The doorman removed his hat with a sigh, shaking his head with a fond smile. “How many times must I tell you to call me Yunho, Minho?”

         “About as many times as you had to tell Jinki.”

         “Forever it is then.” Yunho chuckled before gesturing to the voice box behind him. “Do you want me to notify him you’re here?”

         “No thank you. I want it to be a surprise.” He lifted his dark blue gift bag with a big grin. “He landed Singing in the Rain and I have a gift for him.”

         “Ah, yes. The gift-giving tradition,” The older man smiled warmly, before sighing, “He needs a good surprise I think.”

         The tone of Yunho’s voice brought Minho up short, “What do you mean?”

         “He came home late this morning and he looked completely out of it. I thought he might have failed an audition he really wanted. He refused my mint.”

         Jinki hadn’t said anything during their text messages throughout the day. Minho knew that he had gone to the doctor this morning about the pain in his throat, but if it was something serious he was sure his friend would have told him about it already. Right? “Mm, thanks again, Mr. Jung.”

         The elevator smelled like vanilla faintly and there was an older lady with a small dog sitting at her feet. Minho grinned at them both before wiggling his fingers at the pup. Their tongue was sticking out, panting softly as the tail switched against the smooth floor of the elevator. A few floors up the lady and her canine exited the lift. Minho leaned against the nicely wallpapered wall and gazed at the way the elevator buttons blinked on and off with each additional level he passed. Finally, the light reached ten and the doors opened. Down the hall to the left, he could almost count the number of steps he had taken this path so many times in various states of mental clarity. He raked his knuckles softly against the door right under the golden number marking it.

         A few moments later the key chain was slid and the door clicked open. Jinki’s mop of dark hair was pushed away from his eyes messily. He flashed a genuine smile, but it didn’t travel to his eyes like normal. Mr. Jung was right, something was off with Jinki. As he entered the familiar apartment, Jinki softly commented, “I didn’t expect to see you today, Ming.”

         “That’d be because it’s a surprise, silly.” He kicked off his shoes and hung his coat and scarf up on the hanger by the door, making sure his gloves were shoved into the pocket. He headed straight into the living room, placing the gift bag on the coffee table, and frowned at the wadded up tissues tossed to one side of it. There was a stack of pillows on one end of the couch and a crumbled up blanket on the other side. He turned when he heard Jinki’s socks shuffling against the rug. The older man slipped past him, climbing onto the couch and immediately pulling the blanket around his shoulders. With a raised eyebrow, Minho softly asked, “Aren’t you going to open it?”

         “Whatever it is you should just return it.”

         “But you landed Singing in the Rain! Why would I return your gift?” He grinned widely, “It’s tradition.”

         Jinki takes a large shuddering breath, eyes fluttering shut as his fingers grip the blanket around him tightly. Minho had known Jinki since middle school when the man’s family moved next door. They had been through everything together, but he could count the number of times Jinki looked this shaken on one hand. His voice was weak when he spoke, eyes slowly opening to make eye contact. “I must give the musical up.”

         “What? Why? You worked so hard for this!”

         “They’ll be other musicals.” Jinki tries, bless his heart, to smile reassuringly, but all it does is make Minho step closer until he’s sitting between the man and his mound of pillows.

         “Did they choose another actor or something? Mr. Jung mentioned that you seemed off and the tissues and-”

         “Because I have vocal polyps Minho!” The strength in Jinki’s voices startles him. A sob rips from the man’s throat, “I may lose my voice forever.”

         Minho curls his fingers around the back of Jinki’s neck, hugging him tightly against his chest and pressing a kiss to his hair. Bewildered, and a little bit out of his element, Minho’s relieved when Jinki clings to him. “It’s alright, it’s going to be alright.”

------

         He wasn’t sure how long he held Jinki close while he cried, but eventually, the older man quieted down. He was resting his temple on Minho’s shoulder as they both leaned back against the couch. The papers from the doctor were sprawled out on the table, some poking out from under the still unopened gift bag, and Minho wasn’t sure how he managed to miss that when he arrived. Jinki seemed perfectly content curled up on the couch beside him and Minho found he rather enjoyed the warmth against him. “What are your options?”

         “ Only one.” Jinki stirred slightly before settling further up Minho’s shoulder. “Surgery to have it removed. Then a few months of recovering. Either it works and I can sing at the end, or.. Well.”

         “Hey, don’t think like that. It’ll work out.”

         “It’s...daunting, Minho. Some do everything they’re supposed to and in the end, their voice no longer is what it was.” Jinki’s breathing was shaky, enough to be felt with how close they still were. “I don’t know who I am without my voice.”

         Minho swallowed thickly before softly asking, “Did you make an appointment for the surgery?”

         “Yeah, six weeks away.”

         “Whatever you need, I’ll be here for you, okay?”

         Jinki just quietly laughed and nuzzled his head into Minho’s shoulder. “I never doubted that, Minho.”

-----

Six weeks Later

         Minho was sure that Mama Lee would have rather been here to take care of her son, but Jinki didn’t want her traveling hours to do so. The least Minho could do is talk to her about what was happening. He turned the phone call off and placed his phone on the counter, heading toward Jinki’s bedroom. Sure enough, the man was still curled up sleeping away from the pain medicine he took a few hours before. Bibim was still curled up by his feet, a big dark spot standing sentry at the end of the bed. The doctors stated that Jinki would be out of it for a few days and for him to take it easy. The couch was already made up for Minho to stay the night to help him until he was healed enough to take care of himself. It almost felt like a sleepover, without the secret tellings and trying to steal whiskey from their parents’ alcohol cabinet.

         He took the empty mug on the table by the bed and put it on the dresser. Returning to the mattress he gently sat down to move Jinki’s hair from his forehead, He knew the man had a hard time ahead to recover and then work on his voice from the lack of use the recovery promised. Minho could only imagine how the man felt on the subject, but he couldn’t fully understand his fears. He had never had to worry about losing his passion for writing or his ability for it. Jinki could lose his voice, working in musical theatre, and everything he worked so hard for if this didn’t go well.

         Minho promised Jinki he’d help him through this, and he planned to be there always, no matter how hard it got. Jinki’s face scrunched a little, before soothing as Minho moved his hand through his hair again.

------

A month Later

         The apartment was dimly lit by the barely open curtains along the living room wall. Other than the late morning light managing to slip through, the space was vacant of any other source of light. More and more the longer Jinki was recovering Minho would come to visit a dark apartment, looking like it was barely lived in. When he placed his keys on the dish by the door Jinki’s keys jingled slightly by his fingers before settling, he kicked off his shoes and hung his coat. Making his way into the nearby kitchen the light was on over the oven, illuminating the space in dim light. There were dishes neatly stacked on one side of the sink, mostly bowls and mugs from his soup and warm teas. Minho made a mental note to do those some time today, but first, it was time to get Jinki out of bed for more than using the restroom and getting something to eat.

         Down the hall, Jinki’s bedroom door was half-open, probably from him softly attempting to kick it close from his last kitchen trip. Minho raked his knuckles gently against the dark wood as he opened it all the way. Jinki should know he was coming, as he had almost every day for his lunch break, but he didn’t want to spook him too much. “Jinki? You decent?”

         Minho pulled his phone out from his back pocket when he heard it ding.

         Jingles: Am I ever truly decent anymore, Ming?

         Squinting slightly, Minho could make out the soft glow of Jinki’s phone through his dark blue comforter, which he was currently huddled under in a small ball. There was a cup of what Minho assumed was tea on the bedside table beside him. His laptop was pushed against the wall on the floor under the window, charging light blinking slowly. Very faintly he could hear the rumbles of Jinki’s cat and it wasn’t until he sat softly on the edge of the bed he realized the feline was in the cocoon with his friend. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

         A little movement in the cocoon resulted in another gentle ding from his phone

         Jingles: What can I do for you?

         “Let me see your face for one.” Jinki let out a deep sigh before reluctantly, the blanket was removed from over his head. His eyes were narrowed, hair a mess on top of his head, and cheek red with marks from his pillow. Minho grinned, “There you are.”

         His eyebrows moved into a scowl as he lifted his phone up to see it from the blanket. Once he was done, the phone was lowered once again.

         Jingles: Bite me, Mr. Sunshine

         "That's not on the agenda."

         Jingles: what is?

         "A shower and breakfast. I'll tell you more after, Stinky."

         Jingles: I DO NOT STINK

         After sniffing himself a moment later another text message was sent.

         Jingles: alright maybe you have a point

         Minho shook his head and smiled as the cat’s head popped out of the cocoon. Slowly he moved his hand closer, fingers loosely curled in as he let the cat realize he was about to touch him. Bibim purred quietly as he headbutted Minho’s incoming hand, stretching his back as he did so. “Hello, sweety. Did you have a nice nap?”

         He gave Jinki a little glance as his phone dinged again but still picked it up from the mattress where he had placed it.

         Jingles: I had a good nap too if you wanted to know

         “The red marks on your face tell me that just fine.” Jinki rolled his eyes before wiggling out of his cocoon and across the bed toward the bathroom. Minho snorted when he realized the man only had on one slipper as he shuffled into the attached bathroom. He picked up Bibim and giggled when the cat rubbed his head on his chin. “Yes, sweetie, you’re dad is very strange indeed.”

-------

         Minho had just finished making a new cup of tea for him when Jinki came shuffling into the kitchen. A few drops of honey were stirred in as well as a little bit of milk before the dark blue mug was placed on the island in front of the man. He eyed the drink suspiciously before delicately taking a small sip, humming happily as the warm beverage coated his throat. He slipped onto the stool near him and held the cup between both of his hands, smiling slightly as his eyes slipped close and he breathed in the sweet aroma of the tea. Minho found himself leaning back on the counter, arms across his chest, softly gazing over at his friend as he found a specific kind of bliss in his mug of tea.

         His hair was neatly combed from his forehead, small drops of water falling down his skin with how the strands were still a bit damp. There was a soft, cream-colored sweater on his frame, and dark jeans tight against his legs. It was such a contrast to what Minho was used to seeing the man in over the last month or so, all the pajamas and boxers, but it was so nice as well. Bibim meowed loudly, announcing his arrival to the kitchen, and plopped back on his butt right in front of his food bowl at the end of the island. Minho froze when he heard Jinki’s soft, quick breaths, realizing slowly he was laughing. He blinked, trying to remember the last time he saw his friend laugh and his heart ached when he realized he couldn’t recall.

         Before Jinki could let go of his tea, Minho spoke up, "I got him."

         At one point in time, Minho wasn't as intimate with Jinki's kitchen layout or where he kept his cat food, but over the last couple weeks, his familiarity had grown. A few weeks ago Minho figured out that Jinki had moved his container of cat food from the cabinet just left of the sink to the floor of his pantry. There he also kept his litter and a canvas bag full of toys, stuffed animals, and beds Bibim wasn’t currently using. After taking a scoop out, he gently poured it into the cat’s bowl, getting a head butt to his head in thanks. A moment later Bibim was munching away happily.

         When Minho returned the scoop, made sure the container was closed properly, and the door shut he found Jinki softly gazing at him as he tapped his fingers on the side of his mug. Near him was his dry erase board he used when visiting Mr. Jung downstairs or the old lady next door who always came over to give Bibim leftover chicken she made. He moved his sweater covered palm from the cup and picked up his marker, scribbling quickly. When lifted it read, ‘ Where are you taking me?’

         “Breakfast.”

         Jinki raised his eyebrows as he used the cap of the marker to erase his question, before looking down to write his reply. ‘I s tea not breakfast?’

         “You haven’t left this apartment for anything but doctor appointments in weeks.” Minho leaned on his elbows against the kitchen island, flashing a smile as Jinki sighed, “Just trust me and if you really aren’t feeling up to it, I’ll take us home. Alright?”

         Jinki mouthed, okay, before finishing his tea. He slipped his phone into the front of his jeans and went to grab his bag still sitting on the table by the couch from where he placed it from his last doctor’s appointment. When the man returned into the kitchen his backpack was placed on the counter. Minho was just relieved Jinki was willing to trust him without knowing where he was taking him. He had expected to half fight him out of the bed and into the shower with how things had been over the last few weeks. Minho set the empty cup near the sink for later and grinned, “Let’s get going, Jingles.”

         Even with the obvious eye roll, Minho could see the faint beginnings of a smile ghosting over Jinki’s lips as he grabbed his bag and headed toward the front door.

-----

         Jinki shoved his hands into the front pocket of his jeans, slowly eyeing the front of the small cafe before looking over at Minho as the man threw an arm over his shoulders. “Now this is breakfast.”

         The front door was kept open by a rubber doorstop. The sign propped up outside listed their specials for the day, but Minho was too busy studying Jinki’s expression to notice it. The older man’s eyebrows were slightly furrowed, eyes flicking around the cafe patrons. Even in the early afternoon, most of the tables and outside seating were full, with a steady line. Jinki’s bottom lip was sucked between his teeth, shoulders rising as if trying to hide. “How about you find us a seat, and I’ll order, okay?”

         Jinki nodded, slipping through the door and past the line before disappearing around the thick wooden pillar of the entryway. As the line in front of Minho shortened, he caught sight of his friend along the far wall to his right, fiddling with something on the table in front of him. His coat was removed, the dark fabric on his right in the booth. He seemed so small curled in on himself, not lifting his gaze even with all the hustle and bustle happening around him. Minho removed his attention from the older man to look up at the big menu above the front counter.

         By the time he had ordered and the food was put on a tray for him, he found Jinki half turned out of the booth. A woman was standing before him, waving her hands as she talked with a huge smile on her face. Anyone else would think Jinki was happy, but Minho could tell around the eyes the encounter was exhausting and slightly sad. The woman’s hands lowered as Jinki lifted his phone. Jinki’s eyes lit up when he noticed Minho approaching. He caught the next thing the woman spoke. “I heard about the surgery from a news release. I was really looking forward to seeing you in Singing in the Rain.”

         Minho couldn’t read what Jinki had said before the phone was pulled down again so he could respond. Just as he was placing the tray on the table, smiling as the woman noticed him, Jinki signed the playbook offered to him with a little grin before the woman was thanking him and disappearing into the crowd. The curious eyes around them slowly drifted back to their own food and conversations. Some lingered for a few moments, but eventually, they looked away. Jinki deeply sighed as soon as he was relatively alone, leaning back into the booth. The smile pulling on his face was soft and fond, eyes blinking slowly. “I hope you like bacon and egg sandwiches.”

         Jinki’s eyebrows rose as he grabbed one of the brown paper wrapped sandwiches, unwrapping it and centering it on paper. The cheese was melting off the side, oozing onto the parchment, Jinki gingerly picked it up and took a small bite. With one hand, he gave a small thumbs-up, swaying as he chewed and Minho knew the man enjoyed it. He mentally put a point on his, ‘Get Jinki feeling better’ list before picking up his own sandwich.

------

         The aquarium wasn’t as busy as Minho thought it might have been when they arrived. Jinki didn’t look convinced as they handed their tickets over to the front worker. “Don’t look at me like that.”

         As they rode down the escalator to the start of the aquarium, Jinki pulled his phone out to text, Minho’s phone dinging quietly.

         Jingles: Like what?

         “Like you think this is a silly idea.” Jinki bumped his shoulder, but he was giving a little smile and that was enough for Minho to drop the subject. At the end of the escalator, there was a photographer quick to point them to the green screen hung on the wall. Minho grinned and tugged Jinki over by his wrist. After wrapping an arm around his waist to tug him close, he rested his head on Jinki’s. “Smile, Jingles.”

         There was a small flash before they were handed a small card to give to a worker later to find their photo later. With a small thanks, they headed down the hallway toward the first tanks of fish. They were full of small, fresh river fish, swimming and darting quickly through the slightly murky water. Jinki pushed his glasses further up on his nose and stopped to read the information to the right of the tank. Minho just shook his head and focused on the fish. Of course Jinki would return back to his bookworm self the moment there was information to learn. Sure, they could move on, but Jinki was acting interested in something other than his cat and sleep so Minho wasn’t going to rush him.

-----

         Minho had two favorite parts of the aquarium, The first was the tunnels that went under the tanks, surrounding them with a beautiful different perspective of the large fish and shark tanks. The second was the penguin exhibit, with the deep end for them to dive into on one side. Minho stepped off the conveyor belt on the floor to slowly look out into the left side of the tank. Jinki was aiming his Polaroid camera that his mother had gotten him for his birthday, focusing intently. It took Minho a minute to realize he was following the sea turtle moving through the water slowly. His finger clicked the button and a moment later the photo shot out. Jinki shook it before lifting it up toward his face. A grin was plastered to his face as he pushed it towards Minho.

         He took in gingerly. The photo turned out clearer than he Minho expected it to be. When he went to return the photo Jinki was typing something on his phone, the blue glow over his face replaced with a white one of his screen. Before he could ask anything about it, Jinki was putting his phone back into his pocket and holding out both of his hands. His right hand was a fist with his thumb on top and his left was resting over it, his thumb sticking out from the front. There was such a bright smile on his face as he held up his hands even further, eyes twinkling almost. Startled with how beautiful Jinki was to him right then, it took him far longer to connect the dots. “Is that the sign for Turtle?”

         Jinki’s hair ruffled as he nodded enthusiastically. Once the photo was put in the pocket of his backpack, Minho replicated the sign, giggling when Jinki grinned. The lights from above the tanks filtered such a pretty blue swirling glow over Jinki’s features. When the man turned back to look at the tank, Minho couldn’t make himself look away from his friend. Before he could stop himself, his hand lifted and a loose strand of Jinki’s hair was pushed behind his left ear. Slowly, Jinki turned, eyes wide before softening. His lips were curved up just slightly, warm and sweet, and Minho’s stomach felt like it was full of butterflies. Suddenly Jinki’s gaze was too much and Minho turned away, pretending to focus on the fish in the tank before them and trying to ignore the warmth rising in his cheeks.

------

         The large tank of manta rays was big and bright across the small sitting area. Minho grabbed their tray of food from the concession stand and found Jinki sitting at the bar lining the fence separating the manta rays from the sitting area. Their food was a collection of different fried foods, cheese fries, and soft pretzels. Jinki slurped at his cherry icee, eyes following the manta rays swim lazily through the blue water. The straw is still resting on his bottom lip as he looked down at the food placed before him. His tummy rumbled softly, and Minho snorted. “You get the first choice.”

         As predicted, Jinki went straight for the cheesy fries, using his tongue to bring the pulled cheese hanging from the one he picked up into his mouth. Minho shook his head with a fond little chuckle as he grabbed one of the hamburgers. He had to admit the rays were rather soothing to watch as they ate. Soon all that was left were the cinnamon soft pretzels.  Jinki was doing something on his phone and out of the corner of his eye, Minho saw he was texting his mother. That’s good, she had been really worried about him during their last phone call that past weekend. “Tell Mom I said Hi.”

         Jinki rolled his eyes, but his thumbs began to move again. A moment later he pushed his phone over with two fingers to make it slide across the small distance between them.

         Ma: Oh you’re with Minho! That’s so good please tell him I look forward to our phone call coming up

         Jinki took the phone back, typing away, and then a ding was heard followed quickly by another.

         Jingles: You talk to my mother?

         Jingles: About what?

         “She was worried about you for the first two weeks when you wouldn’t return her text messages, so she reached out to me.” Minho stared down at his half-eaten pretzel before sighing. “We just talk about how you’re doing. She gave me a soup recipe to make you. Things like that.”

         Jingles: I talk to her now

         “You’ve been having a hard time since you learned about the surgery, and I understand that, but,” He took a deep breath before finally looking over at Jinki. “I know you don’t talk to her about how you really feel or how you’re really doing. It was either talk to her or she’d show up on your front doorstep.”

         A very long moment passed before Jinki’s thumbs slowly tapped at his phone.

         Jingles: We better get going. They close soon

         Even before Minho finished reading the text message, Jinki was slipping off his stool with his trash held neatly in his hands. By the time Minho caught up he was waiting by the opening near the penguins, leaning against the wall with his arms over his chest and eyes glazed over as he stared toward the opposite wall. He mentally took away the point on his ‘Get Jinki feeling better’ list before joining the man.

-----

         The dishwater was warm against his hands, soap suds slipping down his arms, bristol brush moving over the plate in the sink. He could hear Jinki moving around in other parts of the house. Minho knew he needed to talk to him, address what happened at the aquarium, but he also knew that the man would come to him when he was ready to talk. With the last plate set on the drying rack, Minho let the water out and wiped off the counter around the sink. Once his hands were also dried off, the towel was hung on the oven. He grabbed his beer from the island and flipped the light off on his way out of the kitchen.

         Jinki was curled up on his couch, Bibim spread out on his lap. The record player on the bookshelf was softly playing, a book was open on the arm of the couch, and his glasses were back on his face. Minho gently sat on the other side of the couch, flashing a smile when Jinki looked up at him. “What’cha reading?”

         He lifted the left side of the book to show the cover with a ghost of a smile on his face. Reflecting back at Minho was the most recent book in his ongoing series and not the signed copy that he had given his friend when it came out. “Did you buy that?” Jinki nodded as he returned to the book. Eventually, he returned his bookmark and put the closed book on the table to his right. “Why did you buy it? I know I gave you one.”

         Jinki picked up his whiteboard and quickly scribbled, ‘ You did. It’s on my bookcase.’

         “So why did you buy one?”

         ‘ I didn’t want to mess up the signed one.’

         “I could give you another copy.”

         Jinki softly tapped his fingers on the edge of the whiteboard, pen held between his teeth. Bibim stood up with a slight stretch, taking a few steps to climb into Minho’s lap. He was too busy greeting the black and grey cat, he failed to notice Jinki tapping on his phone. Minho looked over when Jinki’s hand fell on his knee. There was a flurry of dings from his cell phone and with a raised eyebrow, Minho picked it up to read.

         Jingles: I’m sorry about how I acted earlier

         Jingles: Thank you for talking to my mom. I know she’s worried for me, I just couldn’t… It’s hard talking to her about how I feel. I know she’s worried and I don’t want her to be, you know?

         Jingles: Especially since I’m not sure how I feel.

         Jingles: Scared, worried, anxious. Sometimes it’s so hard to get out of bed. If it wasn’t for Bibim, I don’t think I would most days.

         Jingles: And that scares me you know? I felt myself slipping, each day I spent more and more time in bed, and I know it’s bad but I can’t stop myself. There’s like this… boulder over my head reminding me I could lose my voice forever, threatening to drop at any minute.

         Jingles: Like it’s inevitable, so what’s the point of getting out of bed and trying? It all seems pointless. I feel so alone Minho and I know you come over every day, I know you clean up for me and I’m so thankful for that, but then you go home and I’m left here with my thoughts.

         Jingles: I don’t want to be alone. A part of me regrets not going home.

         Jingles: Thank you for today. It was really nice.

         “I think you should talk to someone about how you feel, Jinki. Whether it’s me or a therapist. You shouldn’t keep all that bottle up.”

         Jingles: I know

         Jinki’s phone slipped into his lap, head hung slightly as he curled more into himself. His shoulders were gently shaking and it wasn’t hard to put the pieces together and know he was trying so hard not to cry. “Please come here.”

         He looked up with wide eyes, tears on his cheeks, and bottom lip sucked between his teeth. After a moment, he wiggled closer to settle against Minho’s side. “You’re doing everything you can to get your voice back. You just need a little bit of hope, no matter how long it takes you to feel like you can.”

-----

         Slowly as the days passed, Minho would come to visit and find Jinki a little further away from the curled up cocoon he’d always used to be found in. Eventually, he’d be dressed in more than his boxers, clean from his shower, and ready to do whatever he put his mind to for the day. Minho put it towards the therapist he had gotten in touch with over an app through his phone, but also Jinki’s willingness to accept his mental health was important too. Today Jinki had taken him by the wrist and immediately tugged him out of the apartment, barely stopping at all except to say hello and goodbye to Mr. Jung standing at his desk.

         Minho softly smiled as the now-familiar sight of the cafe came into view. The same little one he brought Jinki in before their trip to the aquarium. It had become a sort of routine for them to have brunch in the back corner booth together, Jinki doodling little notes on his napkin to make it more interesting than texting with his phone. The front cashier who always seemed to be working when they came in had even managed to learn their orders in the last two weeks of them constantly coming in.

         Jinki was currently sipping at his tea, eyes closing as his breathing slowed and he swayed just a bit. The warm feeling in Minho’s chest was back as he watched Jinki’s little bit of mundane happiness. It was the same feeling he felt at the aquarium under the tanks and Minho wasn’t sure how he felt about it. He was in a bit of denial about what the feeling reminded him of because he was not getting fuzzy, romantic feelings for his best friend no matter how similar the feeling felt. Maybe it was just pleasant heartburn or something. While he knew logically that was not a thing, it was better than confronting the possibility his feelings for Jinki were evolving. He wasn’t ready for that revelation just yet.

         So instead, he picked at his sandwich, only stopping when Jinki’s napkin was pushed into his line of sight.

         ‘ You have a book signing tomorrow, right?’

         “Yeah, at the library downtown. Why?”

         Jinki scribbled quickly, a slight frown on his face as he pushed it back. ‘ That means we can’t come here.’

         “We can come after. For a very late lunch.”

         While nothing else was written, a grin was back on Jinki’s face so Minho counted that as a win.

-------

         As much as Minho enjoyed meeting and interacting with his fans, after a while the whole encounter was a special kind of exhausting. His hand felt a little cramped from all the personal messages and signatures that had come through the line all morning. Luckily, he could finally see the end of the line. A young woman with a large blue bow on her ponytail stepped closer, handing him her brand new full set of the original trilogy. “I’m so happy I managed to get a ticket to this.”

         “First time?”

         She nodded rapidly, “I’ve tried ever since the first book came out, but it’s so hard to nab one.”

         “Well, it’s nice to finally meet you….”

         “Oh, Taeyeon. My name is Taeyeon Lee.”

         “Nice to meet you Taeyeon.” He pulled the cap from his marker off with a smile as he gestured to the box set. “Where would you like me to sign?”

         “Oh, the last book please.” With a little wiggling, the book popped free. He had just opened the cover and started to figure out what he wanted to say when the woman’s voice was heard again. “May I ask a question?”

         “Of course.”

         “I’ve always pictured Lejin to look much like the broadway star Jinki Lee. Was that on purpose or am I just connecting my two passions?”

         Minho’s hand froze just above the soft pages of the new book, staring as the words of the title page began to blur. He could admit certain things about the main character he had taken from his best friend, but a lot of writers took inspiration from those around them. It wasn’t that much of a big deal, so why did the realization that Lejin was the spitting image of his friend in the context of his story made his stomach feel like it was in his throat? He managed to swallow thickly and return to finishing his signature before replying as calmly as he could. “He is my best friend, so I suppose there might be some characteristics that are similar.”

         “Whoa, you’re friends with Jinki Lee?”

         The book made a soft thud as it was closed and slid back into the collective box. He softly smiled with a nod. “I am.”

         “That’s wicked.” She held her books close to her chest and managed to wave with one hand. “Goodbye, Mr. Choi.”

-----

         The traffic to Jinki’s place was so bad the interstate was practically a parking lot. His publicist had been adamant about him having a personal driver to and from official appearances. Usually, he rather hated the idea of being driven around, but with how quick and swirling his thoughts were he was relieved he wasn’t behind the wheel right then.

         Over the last almost five years he had worked on the Story of Light series almost constantly. He knew his characters like the back of his hand, or at least he had thought so until the young woman at the book signing asked him such a simple question. He felt almost stupid for not putting it all together sooner by himself. The main character’s name was Lejin, bits of Jinki’s name smooshed together. He loved to sing, his power throughout the story growing and developing around how he worked with his voice. He loved puns and sweet treats, a book worm who always kept more scrolls on his person than he logically should travel with. He was warm and kind, brightened up the room no matter where he was.

         All things that Jinki so beautifully was.

         The part of it all that had Minho’s mind completely reeling was the growing romantic relationship between the two main characters. He had begun to create Milo when he was 15, building him up from the ground to be everything he wasn’t during the most questioning time of his identity he had been through. While over the years that first draft had changed, Minho hadn’t forgotten that Milo was based on himself. All he could think about was what if he made the two characters based on them fall in love with inspiration from his own deep, ignored feelings.

         If Minho was honest with himself he had known exactly what the warmth in his chest meant when he looked at Jinki. He was falling in love with his friend, if not already too far gone to stop himself from sliding too far in. While his books were fiction, he couldn’t deny how true the inspiration to them was.

         Now, he just had to figure out how to quiet his thoughts and manage to get through lunch with Jinki. He couldn’t tell him how he felt. His friendship to Jinki was much too important to risk. Besides, the man had gone through so much the last few months and wasn’t even out of the woods just yet. It would be entirely wrong of Minho to dump a love confession on top of it all.

-----

         Jingles: How was the signing?

         This late in the day, instead of his bacon and egg sandwich he had gone for the club sandwich. He picked at the lettuce falling from the cut in his sandwich and tried to ignore the panic rising in his chest. “It was alright. Very long, but I enjoyed it.”

         Jingles: Are you alright? You seem out of it

         “Yeah. Just tired.” Jinki huffed, gently knocking his foot against Minho’s shin to get his full attention. When he lifted his gaze, Jinki’s glare was waiting for him. “What? I’m fine.”

         Jingles: I’ve known you too long to now know something is bothering you, spill

         This was a big mistake, one that he knew he’d regret as soon as it occurred, but he also knew that Jinki wouldn’t leave it alone until he heard the truth. Minho took a deep breath before replying, “Did you know Lejin was based off you?”

         The quick breaths made Minho squint. Jinki was laughing at him in his own way as he replied. Jingles: Is that what’s got you so worked up? I’ve known that since book two.

         “Why didn’t you say anything?”

         Jingles: I wasn’t bothered by it. I’m flattered really. Lots of people love that character.

         “It’s not just that. Milo is based on me, you know?” Jinki quickly nodded, a kind smile curved on his lips as he intently listened. “Have you finished book five?”

         Jingles: I have. It’s very good.

         “And you’re perfectly okay with the characters falling in love?”

         The confusion was evident in the way Jinki’s brows furrowed and his thumbs paused over the keyboard of his phone. When he finally pushed send, Minho didn’t want to read it. He wanted to run away and hide for the next week.

         Jingles: Should I? It’s just a story, Minho.

         The little bit of hope that he held in his heart that Jinki could possibly feel the same way about him shattered with those simple little words. With a shuddered breath, he whispered. “What if it’s not?”

         Jinki’s hand was warm as it reached out to curl around his arm, but his eyes were too warm and kind for Minho to look at. He couldn’t handle Jinki looking at him with such vivid concern. “I think I’m in love with you Jinki. I think for a long time and I don’t want to lose you as a friend because I know you don’t feel the same way about me.”

         Minho squeezes his eyes shut as Jinki slowly withdrawals his hand. He only opens them and looks after a deep breath. He can’t read Jinki’s expression through the blurriness of his tears and the panic rising in his chest, the fear. The man’s phone remains resting on the table in front of him, his hands out of view in his lap, and his mouth slightly open as his tongue darts out to wet his lips. It was a loud enough message, Jinki didn’t need to reply with words. “I’m sorry, just forget I said anything. I’ll.. see you later.”

         Before he could be an even bigger fool, he slipped from the booth and turned on his heel, ignoring the dings of his cellphone all the way home.

-----

         Minho couldn’t bring himself to go over to see Jinki. He had sent a few messages, trying very hard to ignore any mentions or attempts to bring the cafe conversation back up. He wasn’t emotionally ready to read in vivid detail that rejection or receive it face to face. Granted, deep down he knew he could never truly be ready for such a thing, but he had to tell himself something to excuse this ignoring behavior. It’s just over a week of somehow managing to bypass that particular confrontation when there’s a knock at his door. Peeking through the peephole had his heart up in his throat because standing there was Jinki. There was a ding from his phone in his pocket and he cursed. Another one popped in a moment later caused him to finally open his phone.

         Jingles: Open up Minho, please. We need to talk

         Jingles : I know you’re in there I can hear your phone.

         Jingles : Please.

         His hand was on the doorknob when he took one final breath, eyes fluttering close before he finally turned his hand and pulled the door open. Jinki’s face was illuminated in the soft glow of his cellphone screen as he looked up, a bright smile pulling on his lips when they locked eyes. “Listen, Jinki I understand if-”

         “I love you.” The sound of Jinki’s soft voice after so many weeks makes Minho freeze immediately, so much it takes him even longer to process what the words he said were. Jinki huffed through his nose, fingers twisting in the front of his sweater as he looked up at him. “I wanted to say it.”

         It was obvious he hadn’t said much, if at all, by how quiet his voice was. Minho knew he should say something, anything, but he couldn’t make his voice work. He opened his mouth a few times, eyes slowly blinking. His jaw snapped close as Jinki’s fingers curled in the collar of his shirt, tugging him down to a kiss. It was like an override for his mind to start working again, and quickly his hands were coming up to touch Jinki. One on his jaw the other on his waist as he deepened the kiss. When they parted, their foreheads were pressed together, breathes mingling as Minho softly laughed, “I love you too.”

         They had a lot to talk about. From their feelings, the misunderstanding at the diner, to how Jinki was vocally talking to him once again. All that could wait just one more minute as Minho stole another kiss, Jinki’s fingers tightening on the fabric of his shirt and melting into him. For now, that’s all Minho could think about. Jinki was kissing him after admitting he loved him too. How could he ever think of something less marvelous?

[dibidibifiction]

Criminal In My Mind: Chapter 13

Warning: slight gore; mention of drugs; kidnapping

Pairing: Choi Minho x Reader Word count: 1.7k

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction made for personal entertainment of readers. The writer does not ever intend to offend her readers nor does she aim to spread false information about anyone as to pay any disrespect to the real-life persons whom the characters are based on. She also does not claim ownership to any of the images that are being used.

masterlist Chapter 12 

Y/N

I had that nightmare again. What if this dream is trying to tell me something? I can’t stop thinking about it even though I don’t remember what exactly happened. In my dream this morning, I was running, but I was not alone. A tall guy—maybe not that far from my age—was holding my hand as we ran. I could hear his voice, panting and crying, but I couldn’t see his face. It’s just a dream but I have this strong feeling that it might be real. It felt real. More real than I’ve felt in a long time. I’ve been having nightmares about that night ever since the day after it happened. I’m not even sure anymore which ones are of memory or of trauma. 

Since Minho is busy with his studies this week, I decided to go to my parents’ house. I have to get answers somehow. I can’t live in fear for the rest of my life. Maybe it’s now time to face it instead of just partying everything away like what I did most of my college years. 

“Here you go, dear,” Mother says, handing me a glass of juice.

“So what did you want to talk about?” Dad asks me.

“Lately, I have been having these dreams again. Not very frequent and not as bad as they were before. It’s just, something tells me that they might be real, so now I’m trying to figure it out.

They share a look with each other like parents always do, which I never knew what meant. “I think she’s ready,” Dad says to Mother.

She takes a deep breath before speaking. “Okay, well,” tears are already forming in her eyes. “We went to your grandmother’s that day. On our drive home, it was late, your father and I got in a huge fight. He was so angry that he pulled over at a convenience store somewhere and got out of the car. I followed him, leaving you alone in the backseat. When we came back after a few minutes, you were gone. Despite looking everywhere, we couldn’t find you. We were scared to death.” Her voice is now cracking, she can barely talk anymore. “I’ll be right back,” she says as she gets up and walks up the stairs.

Dad fills in now. “About five days later, the police knocked on our door and informed us that you were in the hospital, in such terrible trauma that you lost consciousness for a week. You had bruises everywhere. And that big scar on your hip, it’s not just from surgery.” He sighs, trying not to cry. “The guys who took you messed your ribs up so they can put something into your body,” his voice breaks, too.

Mother comes back holding a thick binder in her arms then hands it to me. “These are all the information the detectives found about your abduction.”

I look at them both, watching them wipe tears off their faces. I open the book to see a picture of myself in a hospital bed, in a coma, with bandages covering almost my whole body. I cover my mouth in shock. Now I’m shaking and tearing up.

As I flip through the pages, the sound of whirring drills and banging hammers, the loud cries, all of what I saw in my dreams, it was all from memory. Including the guy who helped me escape. It all really happened. I can almost feel my ear ringing from the memory of the explosion. 

However, I don’t see any information about what they were putting into the girls’ bodies but only a photo of burned suitcases. “What was it that they put inside me?” I ask my parents after a few minutes of silence.

“To this day, they can’t figure out what it was exactly since it all burned up, but they said they’re sure it was some kind of drugs in sealed plastic bags,” my mom says, already recovered from sobbing.

“Did anyone survive the explosion?” I ask.

“There was this one patient of mine who was a member of the syndicate. He was just a teenager at the time. Despite knowing that he might be involved with your disappearance, I took an oath that no matter who the patient is, it is my job to do what I can to save lives. So I operated on him, treated him, and he lived. He was claimed the only survivor.

“Well, didn’t they investigate him?”

“He was involved in luring girls to their superiors, but it was proven that he didn’t have any idea what they did to those girls. At least that’s how they declared it to be.”

This is all too much to process. I can’t say I’m surprised because I think I’ve known all this time, I just forgot. I tried too hard not to remember anything. 

. . .

It is now the next day. I’m back at my apartment. I received a text message from Kibum on my way here from work, reminding me about dinner that we’re going to have with Minho and Jonghyun in two days. It wasn’t a hectic day at the flower shop yet I still feel heavy. Maybe the reason I kept having nightmares is that I always avoided this terrible reminiscence. I spent half my life trying to forget everything about it, pretended it had nothing to do with who I’ve become. My parents never talked to me about it when I was younger because I kept pushing them away. And the guy. He helped me escape, but he never told me his name. I don’t even remember what his face looked like. 

My heart suddenly sinks when I hear a knock at my door. When I open it, Minho appears before my eyes. I don’t know how to react because I’m too surprised and I’ve been lost in my thoughts.

“Hey, Y/n,” he greets me with his usual cute smile. 

“What are you doing here? I thought you have a lot of stuff to do?”

“Don’t worry about it. I got more time.” He walks in, kissing my cheek on the way. “The last text I got from you was last night when you told me that you’re on your way home. I ran into Taemin at school today and he said that you’re already back, but when I went to the flower shop, they said that you’ve already gone home,” he explains while he places the paper bag on my kitchen counter. “Oh, and I brought food. I thought you might be hungry.”

I run into his arms. “Thank goodness, you’re here,” I say as my voice breaks.

“Of course,” he says in a sweet and loving voice. He touches my cheek to look into my eyes and wipes a tear rolling down. “You can talk to me about it whenever you’re ready, okay?” he says, kissing my forehead as comfort.

I nod at what he said, settling my face onto his chest as I wipe my face in his sweater. “Oops.”

“What?” he looks down, exposing his double chin.

“I just smudged eyeliner on you,” I smile slightly, about to laugh.

“Oh, no! Now I can’t wear this to my date tonight,” he complains.

I let go of my smile as my heart stops. But I immediately realize that he’s just trying to be funny. I’m vulnerable and that’s not funny right now. I glare at him and punch him in his sexy man chest.

“Ow!” he exclaims sarcastically. “Wow, for a small woman, you are strong.”

I glare at him some more.

“Aww, okay. I’m sorry, baby. That was a bad joke,” Minho is back to his sweet voice as he pulls me in for another hug, rocking my upper body back and forth like a baby.

“What’d you bring me?” I ask him when I start smelling something delicious from the bag. I walk to the kitchen and take out what’s in it even before he answers. I yank the lid off the tupperware and start biting on chicken. “Mm, I didn’t realize I was hungry until now.

Minho laughs, then continues putting out other stuff from the bag. He brought me different kinds of snacks, side dishes, and cans of beer. 

I sit down on a stool and just carry on eating, minding my own world. I notice him staring at me with his sparkling eyes. His chin rests on his palm.

“What?” I say with my mouth full of chicken and kimchi.

“I love you,” he reveals so randomly, not breaking eye contact.

I stop chewing for a second. “That’s the first time one of us has said it,” I acknowledge, but leaving my mind blank. I’m trying to think of how to react. 

I swallow. 

Before both of us even realize it, I start weeping. I’m not sure why, but maybe because of all the shit that’s been beating me up these days, making me so sensitive.

“No, babe. Why?” he leans forward across the counter to look closely at me, his hand caressing my hair.

I snort. “No, no. It’s okay. I’m just feeling so overwhelmed right now with everything that’s been going on. And then, there’s you who makes me so happy and I-” I can’t go on explaining as my throat is being clogged with my saliva. 

Minho then walks to my side to hug me. “It’s okay, you don’t have to say it back right a-”

“I love you, too,” I say to him for the very first time. It feels right.

Of course, I love him! I knew that ever since after the night I got drunk. It’s not just then, but also when he couldn’t be with me in the last couple of days, I was missing him so much, it hurts. Whenever I watch him working behind that coffee bar, I can’t help but admire him even more. My feelings for him are ineffable. I’m in love with Choi Minho. There’s no other conclusion for it.

He stares at me for a second, and smiles so beautifully, tears start to form in his eyes as well. He leans down on me and presses his lips against mine. 

I pull away before he gets all sexed up and I’m not in the mood for that at the moment. “I have something to tell you,” I announce all of a sudden, leading him to the couch in the living room.

Chapter 14 

[ssttitdramon]

Ready To Hear It?

Ramón Morales x Stella Nicholls

Request: Ramón x Stella thing where Ramón comes back from the war and Stella confesses her feelings to him and idk what else to put

Word Count: 2,769

Note: Sorry that I posted this later than promised. You might’ve just wanted a Ramón x Stella moment, but the thought of the three in college, letters from Ramón in Vietnam, and Ramón’s family was something stuck in my head so I included all of that too. If you’d like to send in a request, take a look at the rules.

Also: The random u.s. state generator gave me Texas so that’s where he’s from in this fic (M.G. is actually from there btw!) and I made up family members because the ssttitd writers really didn’t give us much on Ramón’s backstory.

Warning: Brief mentions of the Vietnam war, including an injury/surgery (left hand + broken ribs)

Stella riffled through her backpack once again, checking that she had everything she needed before leaving to Texas. Two years after Ramón left for Vietnam, he came back on a stretcher with three broken ribs and on the verge of losing his left hand. 

According to his sister, Elizabeth, he was finally home from the hospital a week and a half later, recovering from a broken hand and lower rib removal surgery. 

When Stella received the first phone call from Elizabeth, she and Auggie were in the middle of flipping through flashcards for an upcoming major government test. The knocking on her door woke up Chuck, who was passed out on the floor and tried to reach for it.

Stella beat him to it first, opening the dorm door to the bossy redheaded RA, “Yeah?" 

"There’s an Elizabeth on the phone for you down there.” she scrunched her face at the sight of Auggie and Chuck in the room.

Stella turned to look at them, both shrugging. The boys still followed Stella downstairs and stood close by, trying to figure out who the mysterious Elizabeth was.

“Hello?”

“Ah hi, Stella Nicholls?” answered the quiet voice from the other end.

“Yes, this is she. May I ask, who are you?” Stella asked, looking over to the two boys in confusion.

“Oh, I’m Ramón’s sister. He gave me your number some months ago, but I wanted to let you and your friends know that Ramón is back home now and-” her voice cracks and she sniffs, “I’m sorry. He’s injured, but he’s okay.” she manages.

Stella was stunned, “Ramón is back…” she said softly, trying out the words in her own mouth. Stella was afraid saying it any louder would somehow make it false.

“What?” Auggie and Chuck snap in unison, getting closer to the girl.

“Ramón is back.” Stella declared, bringing her hand up to her mouth. “Wait, so he’s injured? Have you seen him?" 

"No, he came in four days ago and is held up at the hospital. They won’t tell us more, but we’ll get to see him tonight.” Elizabeth answered her, voice shaking and on the verge of tears. She couldn’t help but to think about her older brother, she lost him and can hardly handle the thought of losing another brother too.

Stella quickly thanked her for thinking of them and asked to be called for any more news on his recovery. When she hung up, the three were all silently staring at the phone, no one knew how to react. 

“So Ramón’s back? How is he?” Auggie broke the silence, eyeing his friend carefully.

As Stella started to explain the call, she didn’t realize she was tearing up until Chuck wiped her cheek with his sleeve. She pulled the boys in for a hug, the three letting themselves wallow in a pit of emotions. 

Now, while she was packing up to visit him, she couldn’t stop the onslaught of questions she’s already mulled over since the first call. 

How much has the war changed him? How is his family dealing with his return? How different could he be now since he last wrote? Is he in a lot of pain? What if he doesn’t want to see us? 

She frowned at the last one, she couldn’t think like that now. Not when the three were practically invited by his family with his consent. Plus, Chuck finally convinced his roommate to let the trio borrow his car and make the 20+ hour drive to Houston, Texas.  

As Stella walked over to her shelf to grab her journal, the metal tin box containing all of Ramón’s letters caught her eye. Her heart jolted, she opened it up and peered inside, feeling warmth at the sight of the boy’s slanted, tall handwriting. On the nights when Stella had panic attacks, she would open the box and read over bits and pieces of Ramón’s day, finding comfort in his letters.

Stella flipped through some of the trifolded letters, catching random sentences from the top of the papers,

“My mom finally wrote back and she’s not mad at all, I forgot how much I missed her worrying over me…” 

“You’re not much of a flower girl, are you? Here’s this neat flower I pressed, the villagers around here call it Hoa Dao-“

“Sorry it’s been so long, the sky’s been pouring buckets on us in the past month and we’ve only…" 

"Tell Chuck I won’t be able to write him back until next week, but tell him I said congratulations for winning…”

“but I might go to Japan for R&R in a few months,”

“My dad’s still learning English and he’s practicing some on his letters. It’s the best thing seeing chiquillo next to ‘today I took your sister to the tienda y ya ni la hacen aquí, mijo-’” 

“I’m telling you, you’ll be a famous writer. You’ll be selling out all over the world, just wait.”

“oh and there’s this guy here who laughs just like Auggie.”

“This one will be short, the Sgt just got back and already complaining about one grain of sand too many inches to the right- the boys here call him Ol’ Knuckles,”

“Also, remind Chuck to add 5th platoon to my address,”

“but the package that my sister sent me lasted a good two days because-”

“and he had to tackle this stupid scrawny kid to the ground as soon as the dirt started kicking up,” 

“the team did lose two men before we got there though, they left a rosary behind and I didn’t even notice there was a-”

What if I tell him?

That’s a question she’s been avoiding, but it still managed to pop up out of nowhere. Stella never really figured out when she started to have strong feelings for Ramón. Maybe it was when they were running around Mill Valley together trying to figure out the Bellows girl. Maybe it was in the midst of writing back and forth, finding ease in his words. Stella felt silly, she knew she liked him the minute she barged into his car at that drive-in, but she did not expect for the small crush to stick around for that long.

Stella felt conflicted with the idea of confessing to her first real crush. What if he could only see the two as friends while she hasn’t been able to stop thinking about him for the past two years? Plus, Ramón just came back from Vietnam and if she considered the stories of those who have come back, would he even care about something like this right now?

She felt her heart twitch at the thought of Ramón’s head still stuck on the other side of the Pacific.

The knock on her door snapped Stella out of her thoughts. Putting the box back on the shelf, she grabbed her journal and went out to Chuck. He flashed her a goofy smile and dangled his roommate’s car keys by the fingers, “I’m driving first, already argued with Auggie about it and it’s settled.” 

The drive to Texas was a long one, the three would switch between driving, reading off from the map and sleeping in the backseat. The first time Auggie was on the wheel, they accidentally veered off course because Chuck apparently doesn’t know how to hold a map. The pair argued in hushed voices, but Auggie’s frustration still woke up Stella. She groggily pushed her way up front and looked over the map, commenting on Chuck’s great sense of direction. Immediately, she pointed her finger at the new route they found themselves in and flopped back down.

In a small town where they stopped to get gas, a couple of middle school students were playing baseball in a nearby field and nearly missed the car’s windshield by an inch. In a split second, Stella was having to hold Chuck back from freaking out on them and had Auggie throw the ball back to the apologetic kids. 

Later that night at a lonely rest stop’s restroom, the boys rushed out of there swearing up and down the men’s room was haunted. “Stella, I’m telling you, the only flickering light was the one in the last stall. We were washing our hands and we suddenly heard shaky humming from there, with no one inside.” Chuck widened his eyes and wiggled his fingers at Stella. 

The tall grass that surrounded the rest stop waved about from the light wind, seeming to make waves towards the woods. As the three looked beyond the pasture, following the waves into the trees, they could barely make out several tall, slender figures in the moonlight at the edge of the woods.

“Those are just tree trunks right?” Auggie asked quietly, until one of the “tree trunks” seemed to let itself glide back like a blade of grass from the wind.

“Alright, I believe you.” Stella admitted as the three rushed into the car, she began to pull out of the parking lot, “I’m so not dealing with this shit again.” 

They drove a few towns over before agreeing to stop at another rest stop that wasn’t completely abandoned and slept in the car for a few hours.

Once they reached the Louisiana-Texas border, Auggie and Stella kept their eyes peeled as they drove an hour into Houston. They managed to find Ramón’s house after passing by it twice and knocked on his door.

Elizabeth welcomed them in, “Hey, my parents are out right now, but Ramón’s awake upstairs.” she noted, closing the door behind them.

Chuck and Auggie immediately noticed the wall of family pictures by the entrance. Elizabeth was quick to point out Ramón’s baby pictures and mentioned the charming resemblance between him and their older brother. Stella looked closer at the image of Ramón and his siblings at a pool before following Elizabeth upstairs.

They stopped at the first white door to the right and lightly knocked, “Ramón, your friends are here.” 

After hearing his “come in”, she opened the door to see Ramón sitting on his bed, occupied with his younger brother. The toddler was too distracted with his plastic dinosaurs to notice the visitors, only looking up when Ramón stopped playing with him and finally noticed everyone at the door.

“Vente,” Elizabeth held her arms out to the small boy, “en un rato juegas con Món.”

The toddler hesitated with leaving Ramón, but after getting his older brother’s go-ahead he walked over to Elizabeth’s arms. The two disappearing into the hallway.  

“Món?” Chuck asked cheekily as Ramón carefully got up.

“Mateo can only pronounce Món and it stuck,” Ramón smirked, “also, I can’t hug you entirely, so you’ll have to do with my right side.” he informed, getting closer to the three.

Stella was the first to hug him, careful with his left side as she buried her face into his shoulder, “If either of you start crying, I’ll start crying too.” Ramón jokingly warned, hand stroking her hair. 

“You hear that, Chucks?” Auggie nudged Chuck’s arm before hugging Ramón.

“Yeah, whatever. I’ll start bawling for our guy here any minute now.” Chuck quipped before turning serious, “No really, we missed you dude.” 

“Me too Chucks, even when your letters would keep on ending up miles away from me.” Ramón pulled Chuck in. 

The four settled on his bed, catching up with him for hours into the afternoon. Chuck even took the liberty of drawing on his small arm cast, “Does your hand hurt?” he asked, doodling himself onto the white. 

“Right now it doesn’t, mostly numb thanks to the pills. I still don’t know when I’ll be able to move it and use it.” Ramón noted as Stella grabbed another marker and started to draw a dragon onto his cast.

When Ramón’s parents came home, they invited the three to stay for dinner. Despite the awkward communication and Auggie’s choppy Spanish, they were all comfortable at the table. Most of all, Stella felt content with Ramón sitting next to her and seeing him with his family. Even considered confessing her heart out later that night, but she was still anxious about his reaction. 

After hearing that the trio planned on staying at a hotel for the night, Mr. and Mrs. Morales did not like the idea. “En un hotel? No, como crees. Diles que por lo menos se queden aquí esta noche y ya ven si se van a un hotel mañana.” Mrs. Morales told her daughter, eyes darting between the three. 

“Mija, deja que se duerman en tu cuarto, tú te vas con Ramón.” Mr. Morales added.

Elizabeth smiled, “My parents want the three of you to consider staying here at least for tonight. You guys can sleep in my room, there are two beds there.” she translated. 

Chuck’s eyebrows shot up, “Really? There’s no trouble?” he asked.

“Nah, you guys are fine. My other sister, Ana, is out of town this week and Elizabeth will sleep in my room.” Ramón assured. 

The three thanked Mr. and Mrs. Morales with an awkward, but genuine “gracias”. Chuck and Auggie even got up to help Mrs. Morales gather and take the dishes to the kitchen, much to Ramón’s amusement. Left alone at the table, Ramón and Stella decided to go back upstairs with Mateo on her hip. 

Ramón went into the restroom, took out a bottle of pills from behind the mirror and started to brush his teeth, “Ever since the surgery I’ve been getting tired easily and these pills knock me out.” he explained. “Won’t be able to stay up with you.”

“It’s no problem, we need some sleep too.” Stella let Mateo down once he nudged at her arm to get down. 

I should tell him now.

There it was again, she pondered over confessing as she followed him into his room. For a while, the two were deep in conversation on his bed until he started to drift off, “Sorry if I just fall asleep on you.” he apologized with a small smile.

“Ramón, I…” Stella hesitated, biting her lip. Ramón’s eyes fluttered open a bit, trying to listen to anything else she had to say.

As Ramón’s eyes grew heavy, Stella tried again. “I think I…” she began, hands fidgeting on her lap. “I think I’m in love with you.” she whispered, it was finally out but Ramón was already asleep. 

The next morning as everyone went downstairs for breakfast, Ramón winked at Stella and pulled her close for a hug, “Good morning, how did you sleep?” he asked with a raspy voice.

“Alright, you?” she chirped, the idea of him having heard her last night racing through her head.

“I actually slept pretty well, no nightmares. Think it helps that you’re all here.” Ramón smiled, not knowing what he was doing to the poor girl’s heart. “Tonight, you, Auggie and Chuck should stay in my room to keep the jungle away for another night.” he added.

After breakfast, Mr. and Mrs. Morales rushed to work, promising everyone they’d come home early. Everyone settled to watch TV in the living room except Elizabeth, who had already secured plans with her friends. 

“Mateo’s fine with four babysitters today, huh?” Elizabeth commented, carrying the toddler over to Chuck and Auggie’s place on the couch. The two kept the smaller boy laughing by mocking the voices of characters from Scooby-Doo, Where Are You! on screen. On the other couch, Ramón and Stella sat close with his right arm over her shoulders, hand mindlessly playing with her hair. 

Once the three boys tired themselves out from imitating random noises from the TV, they fell asleep with Mateo sprawled out over the older boys. Stella took the opportunity to tell Ramón how she felt, again.

“Ramón, last night in your room.” she recalled, feeling his gaze on her. “I told you something I don’t think you heard.” 

“I heard you, Stella.” Ramón nodded, “I can tell it’s hard for you, but I know what you said last night.” he kissed her temple reassuringly.

“Yeah, it’s hard but I feel like I need to make myself clear.” Stella explained, finally turning to look at him.

Ramón shook his head, “That’s okay, every time I got your letters it would become more and more clear. I feel like I’m the one who hasn’t made myself clear,” he cooed. Hearing that, Stella felt her heart at ease.

“Ready to hear it?” he asked with a knowing smile. 

Before he continued, Stella spontaneously began to pepper kisses all over his face, drawing out a soft giggle from Ramón.

*Feedback is always welcome!*

[justanoutlawfic]

Crash: Chapt. 3 [The Playdate]

Summary: Regina thinks about the catalyst for her alcoholism. Later on, her and Henry have a playdate with Robin and Roland.

Trigger warning: mentions of cancer.

Also on AO3

Regina stood in front of her mirror, putting on her earrings. As she stared at the corner of it, she saw a picture tucked in there. Most days, she could look at it without wanting to cry, but there were others that grief snuck up on her.

 Cora Mills had two daughters. Zelena was from a college romance that ended in nothing but heartbreak. Her father hadn’t stuck around and a few years later, Cora had met Henry Sr. He was the youngest son of an affluent family, desperate for love. He lavished Cora and Zelena with gifts, showing the former that she could finally escape poverty. They married after only 3 months of dating and he adopted Zelena. Regina had been born not long after.

 Growing up with Cora as a mother was no easy feat. Both Zelena and Regina were expected to be nothing but the best. They were pressured to get the best grades, have friends from similar circles and date no one but the best. By the time they were teenagers, Henry and Cora left them to their own devices. It was Zelena that was constantly bailing Regina out, making sure she wasn’t getting into too much trouble. They were known as inseparable, going almost everywhere together.

 Zelena had been by Regina’s side when she married Daniel, despite Cora’s critical eye (Daniel was “new money”, which wasn’t acceptable). She had been Henry’s godmother. Regina didn’t know what she would do without her sister.

 Then Zelena revealed that she had to go in for surgery. She played it off like it was nothing, saying she needed to get a simple mole removed. A few months later, she revealed to her sister that she had skin cancer and that it was spreading. It was Regina’s turn to be there for Zelena. She drove her to chemotherapy, cleaned her house and helped refer Zelena’s clients to another nutritionist while she recovered. Cora wasn’t good with sick people and Henry Sr. had passed by that point, so it was just the two of them, with Daniel and Henry Jr. helping as well.

 Only a year into treatment, Zelena got way worse. It wasn’t long before the doctor recommended she get her affairs in order. She was preparing for hospice, but didn’t even make it there. She died before Regina could get to the hospital after work that day.

 The whole thing had taken a toll on Regina. For the past 12 months, her life had revolved solely around her sister. Suddenly, she was gone. She got through the funeral and went back to work the following week, but nothing seemed to numb the pain. Zelena’s illness had caused a rift she hadn’t expected in her marriage. Daniel was supportive and did more of his fair share when it came to Henry, but she had been so focused on her sister, she had forgotten to think about his needs. He was there for her, but it was clear things were different. He was willing to work it out, but Regina was just in too much pain. It was easier to just push him away, so that was what she did.

 She had started drinking at a young age, as most people did in her social circle considering how unsupervised they became in their teens. It had never been a problem and she cut back considerably by the time she got to college. So, it wasn’t a big deal when she’d have a glass of wine after work. Then that’d lead to two. Soon, she was putting away more than she cared to admit and was moving onto harder liquor.

 Daniel didn’t notice at first. It wasn’t odd for her to get a drink or two on their date nights. Then, she had shown up buzzed to Henry’s parent teacher conferences. He had tried to convince her she needed help, but she assured him it was fine. That only further pushed the two further away. Their marriage was deteriorating and Regina kept waiting for the day that he’d leave her.

 She just never expected what would cause him to do so.

 The thought of the woman she killed still haunted her. No amount of therapy or A.A meetings were going to take those thoughts from her mind. She had killed a woman, one that probably had a family. Daniel and Mal had never told her who it was, and she had decided not to look into it. Maybe it was the coward’s way out, but she didn’t want to know.

 “Mom!” Henry’s voice carried from the other room, breaking her out of her thoughts. “We have to go to Robin’s.”

“I know, I know.” She grabbed her purse off the dresser and walked into his bedroom. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

“Yeah, Roland was cool.”

“I just know he’s a bit younger than you.”

“I think you just want to hang out with his dad.”

Regina tilted her head. “That’s not true.”

“Yes it is, I saw how you two were talking at Killian’s BBQ.”

“We’re just friends. Not even.”

“It’d be okay if you dated, you know,” Henry said, putting some comic books in his backpack. “Dad is.”

“How do you know that?”

“He told me the last time I was there.”

“Yeah, we talked about it.” Regina sat on his bed, smoothing down the covers. “Are you okay with that?”

Henry shrugged. “I guess. I mean I never actually thought that the two of you were going to get back together.”

Regina flinched at his honesty. “I’m sorry, honey.”

“It’s okay. You and Dad are better as friends. You don’t fight anymore and you can actually smile around each other. I just want you both to be happy.”

“That’s what we want for you too, you know,” Regina said. “If you don’t like Ariel, then you can say something to him.”

“I know, but I’m sure I’ll like her. Just like I think Robin is cool.”

Regina rolled her eyes. “Well, we’re not dating, but it’s good to know. Come on, we’re going to be late.”

Robin settled next to Regina on the porch, watching the boys chase each other around the front yard. It was nice to see how well the boys got along, despite their age difference. Henry had brought a lot of superhero stuff, which happened to be right up Roland’s alley. Robin wasn’t much for comic books and action figures, so it was good that Roland could make friends that seemed to enjoy them as much as he did.

 “Thanks for having us over,” Regina said. “Henry hasn’t been able to stop talking about Roland since the BBQ.”

“Same with Roland.” Robin took a sip of his lemonade. “Honestly, I’m just glad he’s making friends. He struggled with it a bit early on.”

“Oh?”

“He was a bit too young to understand his mother’s death when it happened, but eventually seeing the other kids with moms was hard and he pulled back. Alice was easy to play with, since Killian’s another single dad, but he didn’t really start making other friends until this year.”

Regina frowned. “That’s awful. Henry’s always sort of been a loner, but he’s always had a good group for himself.”

“I don’t really blame the kids. I was never exactly Mr. Popular.”

“You?” Regina raised an eyebrow. “I would’ve thought you’d have all the girls over you?”

Robin winked, flexing a bit. “You saying I’m attractive?”

Regina rolled her eyes. “I just mean, you’re very charismatic.”

“I wasn’t always as confident and outgoing as I am now. Killian was probably my only friend back in high school. We came to America together at 18.”

“That couldn’t have been easy.”

“It wasn’t, but we made it through together.” He broke his glance away from the boys for a moment. “So, what about you?”

“What about me?”

“Were you the shy, geeky girl in high school? Or super popular?”

 Regina laughed, taking a sip of her lemonade.

 “I was sort of in the middle,” she said. “My sister and I went to this private school, it was small enough where we all knew each other. I mostly tagged along and hung out with her friends. Partied a lot, that’s what made me well known.”

“Ah, party girl.”

“I left it all in my teens, cleaned my act up with college. It’s where I met my ex, actually.”

“How long were you two married?”

“10 years.”

“Wow.”

“What about you and Marian?”

“Just shy of 8.” He played with the straw in his glass. “If you don’t mind me asking…”

“My divorce?” Off Robin’s shy nod, she sighed. “It was a lot of things. My sister got sick and during that time, I was so focused on her, everything else took second place, including my marriage.”

“I can see how that would happen.”

“After she passed, I was so wrapped up in my own grief that it lead to my drinking and I just continued to push him away. To give Daniel credit, he tried for a really long time but I had given up. Then when I was scared, I tried to put things back together but it was too late.”

Robin frowned, squeezing her hand. “I’m sorry.”

Regina shook her head. “Don’t be. We were in love at one point and I do still love him, but not in the way you’re supposed to love your spouse. It’s all for the best and now we manage to get along for more than just Henry’s sake.”

“That’s good.” Robin bit his lip. “Marian and I were having some marital problems before she died.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, we were arguing about a lot of things. Her career was expanding and she really wanted to move, I wanted to stay put. It blew up and soon, we were even talking about separating.”

“Ouch.”

“We made it through, just barely. Started going to marital counseling and all that. Then I decided to take Roland to visit my family in England. She wasn’t happy about that, we were just getting back on track, but I went anyway.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “Still one of the biggest regrets I have.”

“There’s nothing you could’ve done, It was a car accident, right?”

“Yeah. No foul play, just a freak thing.”

“Exactly. Even if you had been home, there was nothing you could’ve done.”

Robin sighed. “I know that. I just wish I could’ve had those last few weeks with her. I’d give anything for that.”

“I get how that feels. I’d do anything for one last hour with my sister. There’s so much I never got to tell her. She wasn’t much for the sentimental.”

Robin chuckled. “Neither was Marian.”

“Sounds like they were a lot alike.” Regina raised her lemonade glass. “To Marian and Zelena.”

“To Marian and Zelena.” Robin clinked his glass with hers.

 They sat on the porch for a bit longer, getting to know each other more. They got to know more about their jobs, Regina was in advertising for her parents’ restaurant chain while Robin owned the gym downtown. They spent a lot of time talking about the pros and cons of owning their own business, single parenthood and debated the new principal that had been hired at the local high school.

 Pretty soon, it was time for dinner and Robin invited Regina and Henry to stay. The boys talked mostly about Infinity War while Regina and Robin shot small smiles back and forth to one another. The night dragged on and they even watched a movie together. Eventually, both boys had fallen asleep curled up together. Robin lifted Roland into his arms and Regina gently shook Henry awake, leading him outside to the car. Robin followed behind them, watching as she shut the passenger side door behind her son. She turned to face him, smiling.

 “Thanks for having us, it was a lot of fun.”

“It was,” he replied, softly. “I was wondering if maybe we could do this again, maybe just the two of us.”

Regina paused. “You mean, like a date?”

“If you’d be okay with that.”

A slow smile formed across her face, he could see it in the glow of the streetlights. “I’d like that,” she said. “Henry goes with his dad next weekend, so I’ll be free.”

“I’m sure Killian would be happy to babysit.”

“I’ll text you with the details?”

“Leave it all up to me, after all I asked you.”

Regina looked hesitated, but still nodded. “Alright then.”

[crimsxnflxwerz]

I would like that [shyan oneshot]

I would like that summary: the third person who knew Ryan was trans was the ghost that haunted his apartment. rating: teen+ fandom: buzzfeed unsolved pairing: ryan bergara/shane madej warnings: mentioned [murder/death/drug use/stalker/abuser] tags: ghost!shane, trans!ryan, ghost boyfriend, lol, weird universe notes: this is just a random little thing that wouldn’t leave my head no matter how hard i tried so I wrote it down to give myself some peace. have fun guys! this makes no sense, so fair warning!

Ryan could count the number of people who knew he was trans on one hand. 

The first person that he counted would be himself, of course. He’d known ever since he’d heard the word. Whether it was from some botched argument about gender roles or a fresh criticism of Rocky Horror Picture Show, he couldn’t remember, but ever since that he’d been sure that was what he was.

The second person to find out was his brother, Jake. He’d always had a good relationship with his brother, and that didn’t change when Jake had grabbed Ryan’s laundry for him when he still lived at home and accidentally witnessed Ryan’s binder. Jake actually didn’t even realize what it was at first, thinking it some kind of cheap sports bra, and Ryan figured this accident was as good as any to use to come out to him.

It seems horrible to say, but his parents don’t make this list. Ryan moved out of his parents house after graduating college and getting a job with a company he interned with. When he was safely away with his parents, he legally changed his name, started T shots, and got top surgery. He still spoke to his parents, but it was usually over the phone, and if they noticed a change in his voice, they refused to mention it.

The third person who knew about it wasn’t even really a person at all, but rather it was the ghost that haunted his apartment. 

Sounds crazy, and for a while, Ryan thought he was. He went to therapy briefly,not for any depression, just to help him through his transition. He figured maybe the stress was getting to him, or the T affected his brain somehow, but couldn’t find any definitive evidence that linked these things to what he was experiencing.

It wasn’t that he didn’t believe in ghosts, but rather, now that he was actually the subject of a haunting- he couldn’t quite wrap his head around it. 

There were many things to tip him off that it was a ghost in his house and not just random happenstance that seemed paranormal. The first thing that happened was one night he had been drifting off while watching television on his couch. Behind him, on his kitchen counter, his microwave had randomly turned on. He jumped up and turned it off, before any damage was done, but afterwards just blankly stared at it. He had just gotten the thing, brand new. It shouldn’t have been acting up yet. He figured he’d check it out later. 

The second thing happened after he adopted his first dog, a dachshund named Dori. The first few weeks with her were eventful, but more so in the new puppy way than haunting. After he potty trained her, he let her sleep with him at night, making sure to leave the door open in case she got hungry or needed to pee. 

One night, he woke to find Dori softly growling, while still curled up next to him. He rubbed his eyes and tried to look over to the door she was facing to see if something was there, but he couldn’t see anything. All of a sudden, however, the door slammed shut, and he was snapped right out of his groggy state. He stared in horror and fear at his bedroom door. He didn’t go to sleep again that night.

The third thing to happen was something that continued to happen regularly after that. Ryan would wake up, go into the bathroom, and take a shower. After coming out, he noticed that there was some form of scribbling on his mirror, as if someone had run their fingers through the steam. It never really spelled anything, at most creating a dumb shape or something. At first, Ryan was scared of it, but then he figured it was harmless, so he took it as just a normal part of his life. 

All these things eventually prompted him to do some research on his apartment. At first, he didn’t find anything, but that was just from surface level research. He began to get to know his neighbors, and they were fairly quick to open up. Apparently, a man had lived there before him. He had worked as a freelance website designer, but was also known to frequent the local bar and sing or do stand up comedy. His neighbors were deeply saddened when they found out that he had passed away. 

His name had been Shane, and he overdosed on sleeping pills at 35. He had no family or friends close enough to him to confirm anything, but police ruled it a suicide. 

After this, Ryan tried communicating with him. He purchased a Ouija board to ask him some questions, but he either must’ve done something wrong or Shane wasn’t too keen to cooperate, because nothing happened. 

Ryan forgot about it for a while, forgot about him. After a few weeks of no more activity, something else happened. Ryan came home one day to find Dori cowering near the front door. Everything in his apartment was okay, but in his bathroom, the medicine cabinet looked like it just exploded. The door was handing off it’s hinges, bottles, pills, liquids, band-aids, everything scattered across the floor. Ryan was glad that Dori was too scared to eat anything, but he wondered what had caused the outburst. 

He tried reaching out to Shane again, and this time, the Ouija board spelled out “pills” and then stopped working with him. 

The interaction basically confirmed that the ghost in his apartment was, in fact, Shane. For whatever reason, he was unwilling to talk to him. Except to tell him his non-explanation as to why he destroyed his medicine cabinet. 

He figured that before he left for work that day, he’d taken a pain killer to help his headache- something he did very rarely, since he didn’t normally get headaches.

Maybe it bothered Shane, considering how he died. 

Anyways, Ryan knew that Shane knew that he was trans. That was his third person. How did he know this? Well, the scribbles on his mirror after each shower slowly became a dialogue between them. Shane would normally leave something for him to see (like “dog?”), and Ryan would reply with an answer (like “Dori”) and then leave the bathroom. 

One day he stepped out of the shower to something quite comical. It was a drawing of him, albeit crude, and there was an arrow pointing to his crotch with a question mark at the end. Ryan rolled his eyes playfully, and wrote “I’m trans” on the mirror. The next thing that happened really spooked him. 

Slowly, new words started forming in the condensation, “trans?” Ryan stared in disbelief for a moment, before he recovered and wrote, “female transitioned to male”.

There were no more responses after that, but Shane didn’t go away.

Through his time living there, he began to warm up to Shane. The fact that he was regularly interacting with a spirit was wild enough, but that spirit knew and understood that he was trans as well was even more outlandish. He couldn’t imagine telling anyone about it. This would be his secret- but he was fine with that- he was used to keeping secrets. 

Sometimes he would wake up to his coffee already made, or the news on. One time he woke up to find that Shane had literally picked out his clothes for the day. 

Ryan began to get more and more curious about the specter living with him. He asked around and found out Shane’s last name, and scoured the web for any information about the man. He even frequented the bar that Shane had gone to in his life to perform stand up. Some people knew Ryan as the guy who moved into Shane’s old apartment, and they were pretty willing to share stories about the dude. Apparently he had lots of friends.

So why did he kill himself? Why did he overdose on those sleeping pills? Was it an accident? Ryan realized that he was being nosy, but he had to know. It was killing him to not know.

Maybe he was being too invasive, since not long after he started researching and compiling information, things started happening in his apartment. He’d get out of the shower to the word “no” written all over the mirror. He’d come back to his apartment, only to find his lights flickering or his fridge door opening and closing. Sometimes, he found Dori growling and barking at empty corners, and random spots in his apartment freezing cold. 

Was Shane angry that he was looking?

Ryan set up some candles to try out the Ouija board again, but each time he lit one, he would go on to the next to find the first one had already gone out. He tried several times, the candles getting put out each time, before he gave up. He cursed at the room.

“You don’t want to talk to me? Fine! Fuck you!” he shouted, making Dori whimper next to him. 

That night he dreamed of a tall, lanky figure with soft features, and messy hair. He had warm, brown eyes- calloused hands- rough five o-clock shadow. The figure in his dream slipped into bed next to him and wrapped him up in a hug. He felt warm as he slept. When he woke, the space next to him was still warm like someone had slept there. It couldn’t have been Dori, since she always slept at his feet.

So maybe Ryan had developed a little bit of a crush. 

Even though it was impossible. How could he have a crush on a ghost? Though, the ghost knew more about him than anyone else in his life. Shane knew how Ryan liked his coffee, he knew that while Ryan found it hard to wake up early, he enjoyed the soft silence before dawn. Shane knew that he sang pop songs in the shower, and that he preferred shampoo that smelled like lilacs, and sometimes when he was cooking he did a little dance while he waited for something from the oven.

And Shane knew that he was trans, and he respected that.

Not that he’s sure what Shane would or could do if he didn’t respect that. He was a ghost after all.

When he came home from work a few days later, he found something tied onto Dori’s collar. It was a little note. He opened it. It read: “talk ?” in a messy scrawl he recognized from the many conversations on his bathroom mirror he had.

He smiled and brought out the candles and Ouija board and got everything ready. He opened a channel and put his hands lightly on the planchette. He moved the object over Hello to welcome Shane, and then let it move freely.

“Sorry,” Shane spelled out. “End like me.”

“Were you afraid I’d end up like you?” Ryan asked. He was sort of confused, because he wasn’t really depressed or anything. Ever since he moved out of his parents house, he felt the stress of hiding his identity wear off. After top surgery, he felt even better. The only thing stressing him out right now was Shane.

The planchette moved to the yes on the board. Ryan shook his head.

“I’m fine, Shane,” he reassured him. “You don’t need to worry about me.”

“Not depressed.” Shane spelled out. Ryan paused for a moment. He wasn’t really sure what he meant by that. Did he mean to say that he knew Ryan wasn’t depressed- or had he not been depressed? Did that mean that what happened to him wasn’t a suicide?

“Did...Did you...” Ryan started, hesitating. “Did you kill yourself?”

There was along, silent moment where the planchette didn’t move at all. Then it slowly moved to the no in the corner. Ryan felt like his heart had stopped. It had been the usual story, the funny guy with no family killed himself in his apartment alone one night. He hadn’t really found out anything about the cops doing any blood tests or anything- only an empty pill bottle on the bedside table. He figured that kind of thing wouldn’t have been released anyways, but maybe it was never done. Maybe they saw this lonely, dead man and figured it was a suicide.

Was Shane still here because he had been given no justice in death?

“What happened to you?” Ryan asked, even though he knew the ghost wouldn’t be able to give him any long answers. He stayed quiet, however. The planchette remained still for a moment longer, before Ryan’s laptop that had been sitting on the coffee table near the couch flew open and turned on. Things were being typed into the search bar, and eventually a social media account was brought up. It was a dating website profile. Ryan let go of the planchette and moved over to look at it closer.

Shane Madej. Age, 35. Male. Hey, my name is Shane. I’m really just looking for a chill relationship with someone I have some stuff in common with. I love cartoons and video games, so I’m kinda nerdy, but I’m not opposed to a night on the town, or a romantic dinner and movie. I’m obsessed with popcorn, and just a foodie in general. If interested, please hit me up, maybe we could meet.

There were lots of comments and likes on his profile, but they were all from a long time ago- a few years in fact. It looked like the account had been inactive for at least a year before Shane had passed away. The most recent comments, however- just weeks before Shane had died, were the most disturbing. They were from a man named Zach Smith, a white man with dark hair who looked to be in his forties. 

Zach Smith Hey babe, want to catch a drink with ol Zach-y sometime? I’ll make it worth your while.

Zach Smith Hey, answer me sweetheart, or you’ll regret it, I promise.

Zach Smith Oh darling, I’m obsessed with you. I know where you live, I saw you park outside your apartment today and I almost just went up and grabbed you.

The comments went on, but Ryan couldn’t stomach them any longer. Ryan looked back at the planchette that started moving on it’s own. It spelled out found me and hurt and drugs. Ryan felt his stomach flip as he glanced between the Ouija board and the dating website. He clicked over to Zach Smith’s profile, and immediately saw that it was a fake account with a false name. He turned back to the board again and saw that Shane was spelling something else out.

“Hate that they think I wanted to die,” he spelled out. “afraid of drugs afraid for you.”

“Why are you afraid for me?” Ryan asked.

“Trans boy,” he spelled out. Ryan felt a little cold at the explanation. He sighed.

“Just because I’m a trans boy?” he asked, sounding a little annoyed.

“I was gay.” the planchette spelled. Ryan let out a soft ‘oh’ upon realizing the connection. His killer had been preying on gay men looking for relationships online, and that was how he’d found Shane in the first place.

Ryan wondered if he should turn over this information to the police. But, It wasn’t as if Shane’s case was any kind of mystery to them. He knew the dark truth, but no one else did.

“Is there anyone you want me to tell?” he asked Shane. The planchette didn’t move. Nothing moved. Dori started barking, but after Ryan reached out and pulled the puppy into his lap, the candles were blown out. He figured this session was over. Maybe Shane could only speak for so long before he got tired.

Either way, a lot of information had been exchanged today. 

That night, when Ryan slipped into bed, he waited for the dip in his mattress and the warm arms around his waist to fall asleep. Peaking over his shoulder, he could just make out the angle of a broad shoulder, and he felt safe. 

A week later, he came home to a note on his fridge. it read: nobody. He could tell it was written by Shane. At first, he wasn’t sure what it meant, then he remembered his question from the other night about telling people. Shane was killed, and he didn’t want anyone to know. Ryan wondered if Shane was estranged from his family because he was queer, too. He wondered if Shane just didn’t want to reopen old scars with new information about his death. Whatever the reason, it was Shane’s decision, so he respected it. It wasn’t like the police would believe him if he told him he could talk to Shane from beyond the grave or anything. 

“I wish you weren’t dead, though,” Ryan said out loud to himself. “Although, if you never died, we never would have met.”

After the revelations, weeks went by without any communications from Shane. He attempted to talk to him several times, but after still only getting radio silence on his fifth attempt, he decided to stop trying. He knew Shane was still hanging around, he hadn’t moved on or anything yet, he just wasn’t talking to him. Ryan still felt the familiar presence join him for bed at night, and the blanket of security he always associated with Shane meandering about the house moving things around. He wondered why Shane wasn’t talking anymore, but he was okay with it. 

He was starting to really settle into the neighborhood- gaining more and more friends- and he’d even invited his brother over to his apartment a few times. His job was the best thing ever, he had fun everyday, and worked with amazing people. Though, no matter how many people he met and became friends with, a little nagging voice in the back of his head would always remind him of Shane. He wondered how different the man would’ve been while he was alive. Ryan had heard plenty of funny or wild stories from everyone who had known Shane, but hearing a story and living one where two different things. 

A year went by, and Ryan was finally looking like the kind of male he wanted to look like. He started working out to give his body a more defined shape- lifting, jogging, stuff like that. He wasn’t super obsessed with working out or anything, but he did enjoy it as just a little past time thing to stay in good health. He also loved checking out his own flexing in the mirror sometimes, although he would never admit it.

It was the one year anniversary of the first day Ryan had moved into his new apartment. Dori was bigger, and Ryan was thinking of getting another dachshund to keep her company (and just because he wanted another one). That day, he came home from work and popped himself some fresh popcorn, making more than he usually made just for an extra little treat. He plopped down to watch Netflix on his tv, when he heard something. It sounded like a shifting noise, like someone was shuffling around, and it was coming from his bedroom. 

He put his popcorn down on the coffee table and grabbed a skateboard that he had resting up against his hall closet. He carefully approached his bedroom, seeing that the door was ajar. He crept up and paused at the door momentarily, taking a shaky breath in, before slamming the door open. Inside his bedroom, there was a tall, lanky man, back facing him. He was wearing a worn, jean jacket and black pants, but no shoes. His brown hair was shaved on the sides, long on top, and unkempt- some pieces sticking straight up dramatically. 

As soon as he saw him, Ryan screamed. The man spun around, the motion almost comical, and he started screaming as well. Ryan, spooked, swung the skateboard at the stranger, hitting him so hard that it cracked. Although, he’d only managed to hit the length of the man’s arm, even though he was aiming for his head. He was too short.

The man started speaking, or rather, shouting.

“Wait! Wait!” he begged. “Wait a second! Ryan, wait a second!”

“How do you know my name?” Ryan demanded, dropping the skateboard, but not relaxing in the slightest. He looked as if he were about to bolt. 

“It’s me-” he said. “It’s Shane. I’m Shane. You can see me now.”

“It’s-- It’s uh--” Ryan stuttered, still feeling shell shocked. He looked the man up and down. Now that his brain wasn’t in danger mode, he could tell that the man looked very familiar, similar to the man he’d seen in all the pictures. From the warm, brown eyes, to the worn jean jacket, to the unkempt hair and soft stubble framing his face. He was tall, and awkward, like he heard about. 

But-- he was right there- he was standing right there and Ryan had hit him with a skateboard, not passed through him, actually hit him! This person was a solid, real human.

“You’re supposed to be dead.” Ryan said bluntly. He didn’t mean to sound so rude, or cold, but he was confused. Wasn’t Shane dead? Hadn’t he been killed? Was his happy life just a dream? Was this a dream?

“Well,” Shane said, patting himself down. “I was dead. I might still be?” 

Ryan felt some of the tension in him melt away. Just a tiny trickle, at the smile that pulled Shane’s face, and he sensed himself smiling back- if only just slightly. He shakily reached out a hand for Shane to touch, to see if he was really real- if he was really solid. Shane saw this, and reached out as well. 

When their hands touched, Ryan felt it, and he was warm. The calloused pads of Shane’s fingers traced over the lines in Ryan’s hand, sending shivers all through him. He stared for a heartbeat or two at Shane, completely speechless. 

“You’re warm...” he said. “You’re alive?” 

Shane didn’t move or response to the question- as if this all was some kind of illusion- as if the wrong movement would shatter it all. Ryan payed that no mind, he had one thing in mind that he wanted to do.

He moved forward and wrapped his arms around Shane’s torso before the other man could protest. Ryan pressed his ear hard against the man’s chest and listened. Against his ear, he heard, without a doubt, a heartbeat. After a moment, he felt Shane’s awkward arms come down around him, and it was like all of those night they shared Ryan’s bed, but this time- Shane wasn’t cloaked in darkness. This time, it was real, and Ryan could hug him back. 

“H-How?” Ryan asked softly, feeling a weird, overwhelming emotion bubble up in him. Confusion, sadness, happiness, and love.

“I don’t know,” he said. “One moment, I was about to toss around your pillows for something to do, the next moment, I could see my reflection in your mirror.”

“You were gonna mess up my bed?” Ryan laughed, but it sounded a little choked, as a few tears ran down his face. 

Shane moved his hand to wipe away the tears.

“Yeah, I’m haunting you after all,” he said, although his voice was softer now, his arms pulling Ryan closer- tighter- “isn’t that what ghosts do?”

“I guess it is.” Ryan said, and closed his eyes. He felt safe. “But you’re not a ghost anymore. What are you gonna do now?”

“Idk,” he muttered. “become a human again?” 

Ryan laughed, Shane joining in, too. “You can stay here if you’d like.”

Shane paused for a moment, before running his hand through Ryan’s hair. “I would like that. No- I would love it.”

-the end(?)-

[purintarts]

RFA reacts to “MC wants to be a Stripper”

This was supposed to be a funny more of a joking MC saying “Imma be a stripper” but I accidentally made it slightly angsty ==;;

Oh well! 

Also, they are just friends here (or more than friends but less than lovers) or meh.

YOOSUNG

Because of your studies, you had moved away from your family and ended up getting a small apartment but your parents are hitting a rough patch and the rent date is getting nearer and your bills are overdue 

You went to Yoosung’s place to study for your upcoming Mid semester test because you know you will breakdown if you stay in yours, plus, Yoosung needed some help with his upcoming language test too

As you helped each other studied, you received a text from the apartment’s owner stating that they will need the rent a few days earlier because repairing matters

Your mood had changed negatively and you tried to hold in the tears from falling

“MC? Are you okay?”

“No I’m not”

You began pouring out your problems and Yoosung listened quietly

“Urgh... That’s it I’m becoming a stripper”

“Wait what? MC... You’re joking right?”

“No, I’m serious. I heard it pays well and fast too. Right now I need the money”

“But MC! The environment isn’t safe and what would your parents feel if they know about this”

“They wouldn’t have to find out... and to be honest Yoosung, I could careless what other people think”

You shut your books, your mind was full of determination. You got to do what you got to do right?

“MC!” 

Yoosung grabbed your arms as you stood up to pack your stuff

“Stay with me”

“Yoosung I can’t stay, I need to go-”

“No! I meant lived with me”

“I can’t, I barely have money to pay my current bills, I can’t pay you-”

“You don’t have to worry about the bills! At least for now. Just.. come and lived with me. My apartment is big enough for two people and if you want to help on the bills, you can do so once you’re stable”

“...I don’t know Yoosung”

“At least it’s safer than working in a club and dance for strangers. I swear I’ll keep my hands to myself!”

He released your arm and raised his hands up like surrendering

“Think about it MC”

“... I will”

ZEN

It’s hard to get a stable job and you ended with working two part time jobs to make ends meet. However, no matter how many shifts you took, you barely had enough money to get at least one proper meal a day. There were even days when you go on with only water.

You had to lie to RFA if they asked if you eaten. If only they knew you didn’t. CALL THE POLICE AND FIREMAN

To be honest, you didn’t mind as long as the bills were paid, that was until you had passed out and unfortunately, your employer sent you to the hospital and left you with a medical bill which you had to paid since you didn’t have any medical insurance due to part time

The medical fees had land you to give up your savings for the rent and the due was a little over a week.

Desperate times calls for desperate measures and you were thinking of going for it. Working as a stripper. You were thinking of just going into one of the strip clubs in town and go for it. After all, you heard they will hired you on the spot especially if you look good enough.

Just as you were about to get ready, your doorbell rang and Zen was at the door holding fried chicken.

“Hello babe! I hope you haven’t eaten yet because I got them as bonus from the commercial I just shot”

Your stomach rumbled at the scent which left Zen chuckling

“Well I’m glad you’re hungry! May I come in?”

You invited him, seduced by the fried chicken. Zen set the box down on your little coffee/dining table when he noticed your bedroom’s door was ajar and he saw the sexy mini dress and lacy red lingerie you left on your bed.

Zen’s eyes was so wide you could see the veins in the white of his eyes and his face was so red that it was redder than his eyes

“Y-you going out tonight?”

He croaked as he diverted his eyes somewhere else, quickly sitting down as he hugged a pillow nearby

“I was thinking of getting another job”

“But don’t you have two jobs already?”

“It’s not enough and I need the money”

“What job are planning to take?”

“I’m going to be a stripper”

Cue Zen chocking on his own spit

You sort of expect this kind of reaction. You understand if he have a different perception of you after this too but you could careless about what other’s would think about right now.

Zen on the other hand was glad you couldn’t read his mind. Oh boy his thoughts were wild.

You as a stripper. You wearing latex, you on a pole, you dancing provocatively, you giving that seductive stare, you giving him a lap dance, you giving a stranger a lap dance-

“WAIT ARE YOU KIDDING ME?”

“I’m not”

You calmly explain to him even before he gets to burst out about one of his speeches about the dangerous of the male species.

“But babe, you could try other things! Like modelling or acting. You’re beautiful and there are gigs that pays well. You can get 500 bucks up to 1000 on certain gigs”

“I don’t know Zen... That would take a while won’t it? I need to find an agent and all...”

“Honey, you have me. Hell, you have the trustfund kid and seven. You have RFA full or resources, we can help you”

“I don’t know if I can pull it off”

“You pulled off arranging a party less than a week, you can pull off a gig, trust me”

“...I’ll try”

“Good girl! Now let’s have fried chicken”

JAEHEE

Student loans. Oh how you hated those words.

Which is the reason why you were staring at your reflection, trying on two provocative dresses that you could find.

Living with Jaehee has it perks since you two could split the rent and bills. Plus with two working women, everything is great except the fact that you had student loans to pay and you do not feel happy letting Jaehee foot all the groceries bill

You were testing out walking with your 5 inch heels, trying a couple of moves feeling like a log instead of a stripper.

“Can I even do this?”

You rubbed your forehead at the same time the front door open revealing Jaehee

“I’m home- Where are you going?”

She shut the door behind her, locking it as she walked towards you

“I am thinking of getting a second job”

“That is?”

“A stripper”

Jaehee stared at you in surprised before asking you a list of questions. Why? Are you sure? Is there other options? 

You answered her questions truthfully and she sighed in desperation

“I support you in everything but this isn’t... safe? I’m worried” 

“You gotta do what you gotta do right?”

“True... But how about we look for other options before you jumped into this one?” 

“...fine”

JUMIN

One of your parents had to go in for an emergency surgery, it didn’t help that they were the breadwinner of the family. It sure didn’t help that you had just started working in your new workplace under two months. What’s worse, you had your siblings who are still studying.

For the past week, you had gone in and out of the hospital to look after your parent and work. Their surgery was a success and your parent had to stay in the hospital for a few more days to recover.

Thankfully, their medical insurance from their workplace covered the surgery but unfortunately, it only covered 50% of the total bill leaving the other 50%.

Not to mention, your parent wouldn’t probably go to work for at least  a month and you knew you had to figure something out to pay both the bills and support your family.

You knew what to do when a friend of yours had suggested a strip club that she worked at before. Apparently it’s famous and the more famous it is, more potential customers and that equals to more money. She even gave you a business card for that place.

Since your sibling was taking care of your parent tonight, you had the night to yourself to rest that is until the doorbell rang and by your doortep was Han Jumin standing with a paper bag.

“Jumin! Why are you here so late?”

“Sorry to disturb you. I just came back from the business trip and I got what you requested”

“Oh dear! Thank you Jumin but you could have told me and I’ll pick it up from you”

“Your house was along the way so why not. I hope it fits”

“Let me try, come on in”

“Then pardon my intrusion”

Jumin walked in as I motioned the sofa, putting down the paper bag on the dining table, I went to get him a glass of juice. 

Jumin sat quietly as he looked over at you getting his drink before his eyes landed on the coffee table where your purse was at. Your phone, keys and wallet was spread out and what capture his eyes was the business card to a strip club.

“You’re going to a strip club?” 

He questioned as you set down his drink. You cursed at yourself for not cleaning it up before you went to the kitchen but he’ll know sooner or later right?

“Actually... i was thinking of working there. As a stripper”

Jumin froze, his years of concealing his emotions did not betray him and he calmly asked why and you explained to him.

“If that’s the problem, you shoud have told me earlier, I can help you pay for it-”

“No Jumin! I do not wish to take advantage of you. I’ll feel very guilty about it especially since it’s my family matters”

“Well MC, rather than putting yourself at risk, vulnerable at a room full of strangers, I don’t mind if you were to take advantage of me in this matter”

“Jumin no! That’s wrong that’s”

It took you a whole 30 minutes debating with him about the medical fees but he managed to comply only if you get a job which is safe. 

“Or you could work at C&R”

“...Thank you but I’ll figure something out”

707

Your parents was having a rough time and unfortunately, that affects your tuition fees. You were thinking of taking the semester off despite the fact you were left with a couple of semesters before you graduate. But you know your parents wouldn’t be able to afford it and it will lessen some of their burdens.

However, things at home weren’t so good and you were left with your finals before you take the semester off. Unfortunately, a few miscalculations happen and the tuition fees that were supposed to be fully paid had an overdue

A few thousands in fact

Afraid that your college tried to cheat you off, you asked for Seven’s help to hit a couple of keys to make sure.

“Yep. It’s true. Here’s the maths”

Seven showed you a table with numbers on the overdue and total amounts. Seeing the numbers made your anger rise. 

Why must this happen now? Why must the miscalculation happen now? How the hell are you going to pay for this?

“Fuck this I’m going to be a stripper”

You blurted out making Seven raised an eyebrow at you

“Well MC, being stripper is one thing. But do you even know where you’re going to work at and the preparations?”

“What preparations?”

“Clothes? Skills? Confidence?”

“I’ll work it out some how... I can improvise”

“Or you can just borrow mine”

“What?”

Next thing you knew, Seven was in a two piece latex with a whip, he was even wearing a long red hair wig and a 5 inch heels.

“You’re joking?”

“Honey do I look like I am?”

Seven made kissy faces at you with a wink and what surprised you further was the fact he had a pole installed in one of his rooms. It ended with you two challenging each other song after song 

How and When was he so skilled in pole dancing?

“You know what Seven, I’m not fit for this”

You slumped on the floor, panting.

“Well that’s too bad”

Seven turned away as he covered his victory smirk.

[michaelsongrace]

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[tact-and-impulse]

Women of Ruroken Week 2017, Day 4

Shifting gears out of the hospital, to see Kaoru in her off time. Also, it’s my birthday, so I’m indulging in the OTP, hahahaha!

Prompt: Combat

Kaoru glanced through the glass pane in the door, and her heart almost stopped, when she noticed a new face. A strikingly familiar face. Dr. Himura was in a T-shirt and sweatpants, his red hair in a bun. Without his usual coat and reading glasses, he looked as if he could fit in with the other young adults.

“Yahiko, you said the new student was a classmate!” She hissed.

“No, I said I recently met him, and you assumed college. I have a job, my life isn’t just school and kendo!”

She dealt back his snappiness. “Well, I have a job too, and that’s how I know Dr. Himura.”

“Really? I thought you’re working for pediatric surgery later this year-ow!”

She had jabbed his shoulder, with two fingertips. “Look, I’ll explain later. Right now, you can lead practice with everyone else. I’ll be there in a second, so I can get Dr. Himura started on the basics.” She grabbed an extra shinai from the nearby supply closet.

“Fine.” He grumbled. “By the way, he said he used to practice martial arts, so he isn’t clueless.”

“Thanks, that’s good to know.” Still, she wondered why Dr. Himura was here tonight. He must have been on call, like she was, but she was curious about why he decided to join the gym’s biweekly kendo class. More specifically, the one that she taught. She instructed mostly children and teenagers, and Dr. Himura would have been a better fit for Maekawa-sensei’s class in the next room.

Regardless, he’s my student now. Hopefully, this won’t be awkward. She inhaled deeply and marched into the practice room, making a beeline for the redheaded surgeon. “Uh, hi there.”

He didn’t seem too surprised to see her, even smiling. “Good evening, Dr. Kamiya.”

He was genuinely nice, and the tension within her dissipated. “I didn’t know you were interested in kendo. Well, since you’re new, I’ll work with you one-on-one. Yahiko said that you already have some experience.” She handed him the shinai.

“This one did, but it’s been many years.”

“May I ask exactly what you did? It’d help in gauging your skill level.”

“A little of kempo for learning how to avoid hits, but this one’s expertise is in iaido.” He softly said. The art of drawing the sword and striking as quickly as possible.

“Oh.” She blinked. “Then, kendo might be a little more…subdued.”

“That’s alright. This one doesn’t move like he used to.”

She laid her shinai over her shoulders. “In that case, we have a full hour to get you loosened up. Let’s begin with the steps.” She demonstrated shuffling across the floorboards, before inviting him to copy her. He was a little awkward, swaying a little, and perhaps, gripping the shinai would improve his movement.

But he proved his earlier point. He was unwieldy with the bamboo sword, and after a couple minutes, she switched tactics. “How about this? We’ll put down the shinai and just focus on maneuvering. During sparring matches, you have to move with your opponent. We can practice going back and forth, to simulate that.”

“Ah, that could work.” He agreed.

“Okay, so remember your shuffling. Three, two, one.” She closed the distance between them, rolling her palms onto his shoulders so he’d be forced to take a step back.

“Oro!” He wasn’t prepared, and unfortunately, Kaoru realized that too late. Poor Dr. Himura went into a breakfall, sprawling in a comical heap. A few of the youngest students had witnessed it and began to laugh.

Kaoru was mortified, and helped him up. Her cheeks burned, as she brushed the dust off his shirt. “I’m so sorry! That was my fault.”

“Yeah, it definitely was.” Yahiko called out from the front of the room. She gave him a disgruntled expression.

“This one isn’t hurt.” Dr. Himura reassured her. “Please, let’s try again.”

Once more, she pressed forward to knock him off balance, but this time, he caught himself and recovered to move away. “That’s good.” She told him. “Now, do the same with me.”

He was quicker than she had anticipated, and she hurriedly shuffled in reverse. She concentrated on maintaining the distance, but he was looking ahead. Her back abruptly pressed against the wall and her hands splayed on either side of her. He stopped just short of colliding into her, his face a breath away from hers.

“Was that better?” His eyes were focused, and that light color was violet. Pretty.

Her mouth was suddenly dry. “Okay, that was fast enough, but you didn’t shuffle right at the end.”

“Oro!”

They continued to oppose each other’s movements, in a kind of restrained combat. A steady pace was set, five steps before switching off. He didn’t overdo it again, attending to correct shuffling, but her heart was still racing.

***

After practice ended, Kaoru emerged from the gym, and her attention was drawn to the glint of red hair under lamplight. She walked over to the bench, upon which the remaining student sat. “Oh, you’re still here, Dr. Himura?”

“This one had a phone call.” He said. “An update on a patient’s recovery status.”

“I see. But you might have missed the bus. The next one will be here in twenty minutes.”

“This one doesn’t mind. What about you, Dr. Kamiya?”

“I usually walk, it only takes five minutes. I can wait with you, if you’d like company.” She immediately wanted to pinch herself. Her habit was to always wait with the last student, to ensure they returned home safely. But Dr. Himura wasn’t a child.

“No, this one will be fine. However, can this one walk with you?”

“Sure. Did you like the class?” She asked, as they headed down the sidewalk.

“It was very enjoyable. How long have you been teaching?”

“Since I was in high school. I’ve practiced kendo all my life; Otou-san got me into it. Then, I enjoyed it enough to help others, and Yahiko was the first. Speaking of which, did he tell you about this class?”

“He mentioned it, while checking on a patient who had his appendix removed. This one thought that a kendo class would be interesting. Even more so, with you as the instructor.”

An embarrassed laugh escaped her. “Geez, flattery won’t win you anything.”

“This one was serious.” He innocently blinked. “This one has seen how diligently you work, and how passionate you are. This one thought you would be a good teacher, and was not disappointed.”

She tugged at her jacket, even though she felt warm. “Still, I really appreciate that you want to learn, Dr. Himura.”

“The formality isn’t necessary in class. Outside of the hospital, this one is the student, Kenshin.”

“Then, you have to call me Kaoru; everyone else does.”

“That would be disrespectful. Would ‘Kaoru-dono’ be a good compromise?”

“It’s old-fashioned, but I don’t mind.” She stopped, for they were a block away from her house. “Well, I can manage from here. Take care, on your way home.”

“Yes, you too, Kaoru-dono.” He lifted his hand, to wave goodbye. “This one will see you tomorrow.”

“See you.” She waved in return. “Kenshin.”

He smiled, and her mouth was dry again. Next time, she had to force the shinai into his hands.