#did i need to have this on ym blog?? yes

[fizzseed]

this is insane actually

[enemyoflactose]

To start this off, I want to mention the extremely weird obsession you have with watering Ryou down to this dumb Femboy for having feminine characteristics. God forbid a boy- yes, a BOY, a 16 year old, anorexic and confused guy to not be the manliest guy alive. Also all the overly sexual things directed to him or in relation to him? They are just downright revolting and can be in no way justified. You wonder why people can’t recognize your Ryou art when you dumb him down to a fucking femboy. Ryou bakura is based off many other characters and is supposed to be ANDROGYNOUS. (hence his Female VA and overall appearance.) he is NOT a girl. Also, stop making him to look really fucking dumbed down. If you even read the manga, ryou is actually really fucking smart. He isn’t a bimbo, he isn’t some kind of fucking stupid silly uwu boy. HES A TEENAGER GOD FORBID HE EVEN EXISTS

The next thing I wanted to allude on, Marik's mischaracterization, oversexualization (again) and woobification? How are you gonna dismiss one of the best written Characters in the entire show just for a few petty arguments, rude and impolite at that too. You’re also a giant hypocrite. Being as Yami Bakura (your favorite character) is a bad person AND I WOULD EVEN SAY, HES AN AWFUL PERSON. more so compared to Marik. His redemption arc i can get as to why you’re so pissy about it but you need to realize that this is also a kids show with limited writing due to 4KIDS, manga is more well constructed. Honestly i just have a giant problem with your Marik. I’m not even gonna talk about the thiefshipping, angstshipping, and opinions abt YM..why is Marik in your head like a fuckass. Like, your perception of him is so weird. Marik is equally as bad as every villain in Yugioh, you constantly make him out to be a hypersexual sex craved MANIAC. Also not to mention the blatant racism on your blog (it’s self explanatory.) I don’t understand all the hate, from his arc to the character design…pick a side, do you hate him or do you only like him because he pounds ryou in your head :T

Also the pure, unadulterated watering down of SA in your "crimes of marik/yami marik" post? I can't put into words how extremely shameful it is, to disregard such an important and scary topic and to make a joke of it honestly. IT WAS NOT SA? the scene was ryou bakura about to FALL OVER because he is INJURED. Marik isn’t trying to do anything to him. Thanks for dumbing down real life situations you’re an awesome person

Where did you get that Ryou was anorexic? Being thin and not really eating a lot doesn't make you anorexic. I would know, I was almost diagnosed with it.

I head cannon Ryou as a femboy not because I'm sexualizing him, but because I want to draw a character that I like and relate to in outfits that I just want to see him in.

Do I end up drawing Ryou in sexual outfits? Yes. I'm sorry this upsets you, but I find certain typically sexual outfits such as maid outfits and MEIKO's Blue Crystal model to be very pretty and cute. Not to mention they're just fun to draw.

I have plans to draw Ryou in other dresses and skirts that aren't sexual, I wouldn't have this head cannon if I didn't.

I'm well aware that looking androgynous doesn't automatically make someone a femboy or tomboy. I may be dumb, but I'm not an idiot.

The kind of stupid that I think Ryou is, is the kind that makes you unable to see certain social cues or just be ignorant about a lot of things. I give him the same stupid that I have because I'm projected on to a character that I like and relate to.

I'm also still new to writing, so the way I characterize Ryou hasn't been shown to its fullest. I write him and acknowledge him how he's already written, but I add things to make myself happy. That's how fanfiction works.

I never said that Ryou was a bimbo, I said that he's stupid because he makes objectively dumb choices like keeping the millennium ring and not telling his friends about it. Also, yes I do know that he's being abused. From an outsiders perspective however, his choices just come across as looking stupid.

I am making light hearted jokes about a fictional character and projecting myself on to that same fictional character, and you have a problem with that?

And to talk about your insults to my art, I know that the reason I'm scared people won't recognize Ryou is because I draw him to like this:

Instead of this:

I'm well aware of that because despite my low intelligence, I can understand that he doesn't really look like Ryou.

Also, why are you so intent on telling me that Ryou is a boy? I know he's a boy. I constantly say that he's a boy and acknowledge that he's a boy. You need to identify as a boy to be a femboy 💀.

For your Marik takes, I have no clue what woobafication is. I also don't hate Marik because he's a bad person, I "hate" him (it's fucking theatrical you dumbass) because he has a poor redemption that needed to be explored more. Marik is a character that I genuinely like and I think he's fun and hilarious, I just have problems with how he was redeemed since in my eyes, he did nothing to deserve it.

Yami Bakura is also not my favorite character. Weevil and Joey are. I just talk about Yami Bakura way more because there's more for me to say. I like Ryou more than him as well because Ryou is my projection character.

I'm well aware that Yami Bakura is a worse person than Marik, he did almost kill all of Egypt is I'm remembering things right, but that doesn't mean that Marik isn't also a bad person.

Just because someone is worse than another, doesn't mean that that person's sins are cleaned completely.

Of course you don't wanna talk about the angstshipping thiefshipping discourse you little pussy.

Marik is objectively worse than Pegasus, Noah, Gozuburo, and the Douma trio. He kidnaps, brainwashes, steals, kills, abuses his brother, and all the while he still blames Yami Yugi for how he is.

Marik being hypersexual is just a fandom trop. That's why I think he is, because a pretty big number of people also think that way.

Where is the racism? I'm genuinely concerned about this one it is not self explanatory.

I do actually like Marik as a character, it's not because he pounds Ryou in my head, it's because he's entertaining. He's fun, I like fun villains. (His purple shirt is ugly as hell tho)

Now to talk about my biggest issue with you. You think I can afford to just read the manga and watch the sub, don't you?

Well guess what chuckle nuts, I'M FUCKING POOR

I don't have the money to buy more of the Yu-Gi-Oh manga or to pay for a Crunchyroll subscription.

I'm broke, no money, poor, jobless.

You're making the assumption that I can fucking afford to buy the manga. I have to ask my family to buy it for me as gifts for birthdays and shit. I literally have no money.

So let me put everything you need to know in a little list so you, and anyone else, can understand things about me.

I project onto Ryou

I think pretty boys in pretty dresses is cool

I actually really like Marik

My favorite character is Weevil

I happen to like angstshipping

I happen to not like thiefshipping

I think certain sexualized outfits are pretty or look fun to draw

I have media literacy

Fuckass is not a word in my vocabulary and I don't know what that means

Please block me 💕

[youmeandteddybears]

@akihikotakahashi did this and I thought it looked fun.

1. Why did you choose your url?

You, Me, and Teddy Bears refers to Misaki, Akihiko, and their hundreds of teddy bears.

2. Any side blogs?

-Watermelon Neon, which is my personal blog.

-Pink Soup, my Sims 2 blog

-The JRSiH Timeline Project Blog.

-"You Had Me at Destiny Week" What will become the Miyagi x Shinobu event week blog (April 2022) ran by the Cabbage Council.

I also have a junk blog with nothing on it because one of my favorite people hoards ridiculous JR/SiH urls and inspired me. I'll do something with "naothankyou" eventually.

3. How long have you been on Tumblr? I've had dozens of random blog over the years. My first Tumblr I made in 2008. YM&T began July 11, 2018.

4. Do you have a queue tag?

"Queue is a surprise for me and you"

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

After finishing watching the Junjou Romantica anime and reading the manga in three days, I was in love. I wanted keep up with the manga and was eager to explore the newly-found BL genre.

6. Why did you choose your icon?

It fits the vibe of YM&T. Everytime I see it I smile. I have never changed it and I don't think I ever will.

7. Why did you choose your header?

Exactly the same reason as above.

8. How many mutuals do you have?

A lot? I don't really keep track.

9. How many followers do you have?

I don't know, but I think it's 160-ish?

10. How many people do you follow?

I also don't know this. It might be more interesting if I checked, but lazy. 😅

11. Have you ever made a shitpost?

JR/SiH shitposting is one of my hobbies.

12. How often do you use Tumblr each day?

At least twice a day. Noticeably less since the creation of the Lame SiHJR Server, but still very frequently.

13. Did you ever have a fight with another blog?  Who won? I don't fight with anyone online. It's unproductive.

14. How do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

I struggle with mild OCD, so they are difficult for me. I have to remind myself that they have no bearing or real affect on reality.

15. Do you like tag games?

I do. I tend to keep them on Watermelon Neon though.

16. Do you like ask games?

Yes, especially ones that can be about JR/SiH.

17. Which one of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous?

I had coffee with the writer of Webcam Secrets last weekend and I was (and still am) starstruck.

18. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

No, I respect my mutuals and JR/SiH friends in a platonic/almost mom-like way, especially since much older than most of them.

19. Tags

I thought this looked fun and it was. If anyone else wants to do it you should!

[blarhiv]

Now i understand why people say shipping is toxic. Since i started seeing Jikook more than friends and notice the shipwars, i cant watch taekook interactions, i literally scroll down when i see a taekook-yoonmin etc. ship accounts. Because deep down i am scared their interactions will make me notice Jikook is not actually that special. I just saw a tkk moment and watched it this time. And indeed, Jikook's interactions aren't special now i look at it objectively –> –>

Because if some interactions happened between others, i'd say it's friendship. But between Jikook, the same interaction seems as if it means more than friendship. It's ridiculous. Like in the last live, tkk stared at each other for so long. And i know it doesn't meant anything. We do that with my friends when we cant find something to say. But when it happens between Jikook, inckuding me, we all make a big deal out of it. Because that's what we want to see. What i want to see. I can't enjoy BTS content as much as i did before anymore. Because however all of us deny it, i am sure most of us, just like me, search for some moment between Jikook instead of actually enjoying the content. Even unconciously. This is what is toxic about shipping. I'm not even talking about toxic shippers which is something else. It hit me so hard. And because i already fell into this ship, now i will never be able to watch BTS videos lile how i did years ago. I don't know what to do. Maybe i am delusional about Jikook but i believe in them. But tkkrs do, too. And yoonminers. Anyone does, really. They believe in their ship as much as i do. And it discourages me, making me realize actually how stuck i am with a ship that might not even be real. Tell me something, please. I want to watch BTS without worrying about ships. I want to go back to the times i never knew about shipping. I really need help. Guh..

Hi!

You know, I absolutely relate this situation about not be able to watch bts content without searching KM and so on. It really happens unconsciously. Just my mind in one deep corner of head tells me “hey! here we are!”. Before, it was really hard level, like I really couldnt watch anything calmly. Not now, gladly. Just take it easy. Everything comes from our heads (wow, captain obvious).  Also environment affects a lot..  You know,I even would say this( but get me correctly please) : ship isnt a first thing and even isnt a second thing in supporting group, member, music etc... You dont have to prove anything to anyone. They are real? Perfect? No? Amazing. 

About second part of the topic. Ship wars- that sucks. The only way to avoid it- try to follow only proven pages, dont use some apps, dont search such info and so on.. Personally, I follow some pages, don’t search any info about what i dont like to see.. kinda.. for what..we all have better things to do. And about KM’s relationships...as I said before, to be very honest, its not an ending of this world if truth isnt like we want it be. Their behavior is similar with others? Yes, absolutely. But if you harmless enjoy their interactions, harmless believe that there is something else.. then its good! Why not? This is a personal matter. If others believe in tkk, ym, TaeYotan... good! Its only their business. No one is right, no one if wrong. Because we dont know the actual truth! And unlikely we will. If talking biased, there are a lot of moment that make KM different, if we compare with others. But this is only opinion. My advice- take it easy. This is conclusion I came after 3 years. Relax. And I really don’t know what to do with this thing when you unconsciously search KM haha... I suppose,only time treats. Thats  how was with me. And i’ll say honestly- if i didnt have blog, it would be even easier to watch bts content. Also work with own head. Yeah, life is always work on yourself. Everything comes from our mind..

Also...just remember why you came to this sphere... Coming back to the origins is a really good thing. 

[nipahcos]

NipahCos (NipahDUBS) FAQ

First off let me say thanks for wanting to know more about me, here is my FAQ to save you the trouble of asking if the answer is here! Cosplay related questions are towards the bottom. Before asking me something like that “How do I make/do _____” Please take a moment to do a little research yourself. Most questions I get can be answered by a simple google search, while I don’t mind answering them, you can usually find your answer that way.

Name: Nipah (Pronunciation: Knee.Paw) Age: 7

Height: 5′10 Gender: Male Sexual Orientation: Bisexual Religion: None Ethnicity: Filipino and European Single or Taken: Taken, my fiances name is Andrew, here is his blog

Hair color: Dark Brown Eye color: Dark Brown Do you live with Andrew: Yes Where do you live: Illinois Where did you grow up: Florida How long have you dated: Over eight years How did you meet: Through a skype call for a chorus group.

Picture of you two: Here

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/NipahDUBS DeviantART: nipahcos.deviantart.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/NipahDUBS YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/NipahDUBS

Instagram: Nipahcos

SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/nipahdubs Favorite anime: Higurashi no Naku koro ni, it’s where I got my name from. Favorite manga: Ranma ½ or Fushigi Yuugi

Favorite yaoi: LOVE STAGE!!

Favorite Food: Mac and cheese, chicken anything.

Favorite foreign food: Longanisa and Tocino Favorite singer: Avril Lavigne Favorite color: Teal/sky blue Favorite animal: Domesticated would be cat, wild would be panda. Favorite anime character: I don’t really have one. Do you listen to KPOP: I have started too. I like Twice and BlackPink.

Virgin or not?: I get asked this a lot for some reason or questions along this line. If you send me an ask that is asking “Have you and Andrew had sex” or anything like it I will block you. That is none of your concern and it is not something I wish to talk about, I have zero tolerance for asks like this. Please respect my wishes on this, thank you.

Favorite game:

Fantasy - Shadow of Colossus

RPG - Kingdom Hearts / Pokemon / Final Fantasy

Action - Resident Evil

Fighting - Bloody Roar/ Mortal Kombat

Classic - Banjo Kazooie

Dating sim - DRAMAtical Murder

Shooting - Left4Dead

Horror - Silent Hill

Multiplayer - Mario Party

Simulation - Viva Pinata

MMORPG - Perfect World (Don’t play anymore)

Sports - Mario…Tennis lol

Favorite Animated Movie: Lilo and Stitch

Favorite Live action Movie: The Fifth Element

Favorite Actor: Mila Jovovich

Favorite Pokemon: Shinx

Favorite Pokemon game: Ruby and Sapphire.

Fears: Snakes and heights

Favorite gaming system: N64

Favorite Holiday: Halloween

Favorite season: Autumn

Favorite TV show: Charmed / Desperate Housewives Favorite Cartoon: Jackie Chan adventures/ Gravity Falls

Favorite Disney Princess: Rapunzel - Tangled Favorite Disney song: Be Prepared from The Lion King

Favorite Disney villain: Scar Do you watch PewdiePie or cry or gamer vlogs: No

When do you have lives: Randomly, they’re never scheduled.

—————————————-

.::Cosplay Questions::.

Where do you get your wigs: Ebay, Amazon and Arda-Wigs, though nowadays you will most likely only see me wearing wigs from Arda-Wigs.

Where do you get your contacts: I buy all my contacts in person from a local store by my house, the store is literally called “K-POP” They do not have an online store but they’re found in Carrolton in Texas.

Where can I buy contacts: Try Honeycolor or Pinkyparadise

Do you make your cosplays: Most are hand made

Favorite cosplay: Aoba, Sora or Howl

Do you take commissions: I take wig commissions. https://www.facebook.com/Nipahwigs

Materials you use most: Craft foam, Hot glue, gorilla glue, acryllic paint, spray paint, Air dry clay, paper clay and resin. Materials used to style wigs: Hair scissors, thinning scissors, tacky glue, GOT2B freeze spray

What won’t you cosplay from?: Death Note, Hetalia, Homestuck, Most live action series and most animes with a school uniform cause I find the outfits boring.

Why not?: I just don’t want to.

Make up:

Kay-Von-D concealer

FIT Maybelline concealor and matte mineral powder

Maybelline dark circle concealer Hard Candy glamoflauge concealer Loreal liquid eyeliner Black eyeliner pencil White eyeliner pencil ELF eye shadow kit

Favorite thing about cosplay: Styling wigs

Cons you usually go to: A-Kon and Anime Fest

Do you go to cons outside Texas: I do not usually, I don’t have the money to afford to go to many cons outside of my state, unfortunate as it is. Though you can request I attend a convention around you and I may be able to go if the staff invites me! How to keep a wig tight on your head: Answer

What are your keyblades made from: Insulation foam, you can get it at Lowes.

How much are wig commissions: Depends on the wig, I usually charge anywhere from $100-$200

—————————————————

.::MMD questions::.

How long does it take to make a model: Depends, 3 hours to a day or two

Favorite model maker: Hzeo Favorite Model base: YM and TDA Favorite effect: Selfoverlay, ssao and diffusion

Favorite Model: Don’t have one Will you release your models: Not sure How do you make them: PMXEditor and Blender

—————————————————

.:: Other Questions ::.

Do you like Homestuck?: No, I have nothing against it I just don’t care or it.

Do you like Hetalia?: I do not.

Why didn’t you answer my ask?: I get so many a day it is hard to get to them all, I don’t answer every compliment cause there are only so many ways I can say thank you. Some questions get repeated constantly and while I do answer them periodically, usually someone else will come around and ask the same question you did so I don’t feel the need to answer the same question twice within a couple days. I also refrain from answering hate messages or oness that are too personal.

[ryderthefirst]

tagged by @anatineeclectic

Rules: what does this mean

Nickname: Ryder

Zodiac: Aquarius/Dragon

Height: 5′5"? Maybe?

Last thing I googled: “McHelicopter”

Favorite music artist: Right now it’s the Hamilton cast

Last movie I saw: The Descent

Why did I choose my URL: 3 entirely arbitrary words chosen at random because I simply needed a new URL

Do I have any other blogs: Yes but y’all fucks don’t get any more info than that

What did your last relationship teach you: It’s okay to do what’s best for you even if it hurts them

Religious or spiritual: I’m an agnostic atheist (and looking into satanism?)

Favorite color: Since black doesn’t technically count, green

Average hours of sleep: 4

Lucky number: 7

Favorite Character: Peridot

How many blankets do I sleep with: Just one usually

Dream job: I want to be a professional developer, though I’m not yet sure what area of development. BUT I REALLY WANT TO BE ON BROADWAY ITS LIKE YM DREAM OMFG

I tag: @heresii-i @infamouschicken3 @butsuddenlyeverythingends

[moohiyay]

「The Coming of a New Generation」B.L.T Jan 2019

NOTE:

Umezawa Minami --> UM

Sato Kaede --> SK

Ito Riria --> IR

Yoda Yuki --> YY

Ozono Momoko --> OM

Yamashita Mizuki --> YM

It happens to be Christmas season. Has anything happened this year that you can call “a wonderful gift”?

UM: Last year I had mostly 3rd gen activities. This year I started having senbatsu and under activities, could tell right away that things were changing. For me, I met a lot of people outside of Nogizaka from acting in the musical 「美少女セーラームーン (Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon」 and the stage play 「七つの大罪The Stage」, and this was very exciting for me. I could also feel myself slowly changing. To be lucky enough to meet all kinds of people, from all these different places; no doubt this was a gift for me.

SK: Indeed. In all six years of high school I played badminton, so I always wondered when I would receive related work. This year I was invited to appear on 「世界バドミントン選手権 (Badminton World Championships)」, as well as had my own segment (「乃木坂46佐藤楓の世界バドミントンが46倍楽しくなるTV」), really happy about these. I also played against Shiota Reiko, it was like a dream.

IR: A lot of my work opportunities, acting in 「星の女王」and 「セーラムーン (Sailor Moon)」, became my precious experiences as well. What made me especially happy was that my relationships with the senpais I acted in 「セーラムーン」with - Higuchi-san, Noujo-san, and Takayama-san - became extra good. I’ve already made plans to celebrate my next birthday at Takayama-san’s home, really looking forward to it.

YY: That nice. I had some good experiences with work too. To spend time with my favorite animals is like a gift to me. It was normal for me to spend lots of time with the animals I have back at home, but I don’t see them often anymore after moving to Tokyo. During this time, I had a location shoot back in my home town with 「志村どうぶつ園 (Shimura Zoo)」. I took a long-awaited walk along the beach with my mountain goat Gonzo and little dog Taro. Animals are truly the most wonderful. To receive work due to my love for animals, it’s wonderful. Of course becoming an idol is also a wonderful thing; both are gifts to me.

OM: During the Fukuoka stop for our Summer National Tour, my friends from my hometown Kagoshima came to watch the Live for the first time; to me, that was a gift. About 17 people came, and they all held slogan towels with "Momoko” on it. Looking at the group picture they took, that made me really happy. Though no one complimented me, I was still very touched when they all said “Just as expected, Nogizaka is impressive.” Later on, they said my dancing was kind of comedic. (laugh)

IR: My Okinawa friends also came to watch the Tokyo Meiji Jingu Stadium Live, all of them said they came to like Nogizaka. I was already happy when they complimented me; for them to say they liked the entire group made me the happiest.

OM: Momoko also wants them to like Momoko! But my friend I’ve been close to since elementary school is a Yoda oshi. It’s okay even if they’re just lying, please say you’re a Momoko oshi!

SK: My friends also came to my hometown Nagoya concert and the Jingu Stadium concert. Nobody used to have any interest in Nogizaka, but after I joined they started paying more attention to Nogizaka. They listened to 3rd gen songs before watching the Live. They said their favorite song was 「三番目の風」, that made me so happy. Also, they said that I was “shining brightly” during the Live.

OM: That would make anyone really happy to hear.

SK: Yes, very happy.

YM: For me...to be alive is a gift for me. (laughs) Humans can just suddenly get seriously ill, or just suddenly die. I haven’t gotten seriously hurt nor sick. This entire year I’ve been doing work that brings people energy and laughter, this isn’t something that just comes by, it’s something to be thankful for.

Why do you think this way?

YM: I’m not sure how to express this. Health is something that’s really important...my grandma, or even people we knew in the past - every year during new years we’d meet them. This year I'm really happy that I was busy with work, but life has changed a lot since last year, so I didn’t get a chance to go back to my hometown. During this time, there’s been a lot of changes I was unaware of. Only after I found out about this particular important matter, did I realize this; I’ve been able to finish work safely everyday only because so many people have been watching over me. This year made me realize I shouldn’t take things for granted. I’m just talking to myself at this point, the topic must be a little heavy. (awkward smile)

UM: Don’t say that, I think you said that very well!

YY: Very well!

Okay, earlier we were talking about Sato being complimented as “shining” by her friends during the live. This year, what were some memorable words you received from someone else?

UM: There are too many... (laughs)

SK: I also received a lot of words. Can I choose the phrase ‘congratulations’? During the Nogizaka Under Construction 22nd Single Senbatsu announcements, I entered senbatsu for the first time. I received, up until now, the most congratulations messages I have ever received. My tears just started falling from that.

IR: I also got into senbatsu for the first time that time. During that time, I received a lot of congratulations messages. Even my classmates from school congratulated me, I was really happy. Also recently, there was a handshake event the day of my birthday, so a lot of Riria-oshis told me “I’m thankful you were born”.

OM: That’s awesome.

IR: Yeah. Even though I say “I want to bring happiness to those people who watch me”, I can’t help feeling that I exist for the fans. Working hard down this path is great, I want to keep doing my best for this group of people, giving me a lot of encouragement.

YM: I also experience a lot of joy when fans tell me “thank you for everything until now”.  As someone who needs a lot of reassurance, the feeling I get when I’m encouraged by their words, I don’t know if it’s apologetic or thankful...... Many many people leave replies on the blog and tell me at handshake events “thank you for everything until now”. I don’t know what much I can do, but I want to at least  convey my gratitude to each person, so I will also say to my fans during handshake events, “thank you for everything until now”. To be honest, even though it’s quite tiring sometimes, my mentality is that my own life can be whatever, but I strongly believe that if I’m meant to live for others, then I’ll do my best to live my life out for them. 

YY: You said that so coolly.

OM: It was probably around the time of my birthday, Shi-san (Shiraishi Mai) said to me, “Momoko will continue to improve, let’s do our best together”, that made me happy. Also, I think it’s because I wrote a letter to Asuka-san for her birthday; I also received a letter Asuka-san wrote for me for my birthday. In it, she wrote “Because I have expectations for Zono-san (Ozono), can you work a little harder for my sake?” I could feel that Asuka-san really cares for Momoko; I felt a little embarrassed, but at the same time I also felt happy from these words, and felt the need to put in more effort.

UM: For me, it’s all words deep in my heart.This year I received too many words. Though, that’s right..... When I received the words “just do it”, I was really happy.  With my condition and inner battle so bitter-like, will others experience that from me as well...... Even though I’ve never poured out these thoughts to others before, and had no plans to express it, at that time everything everyone said just seemed like they could sense my heart. It’s been since summer till recent.