#did not improve on that one yet but i believe actually being able to tell how i feel aside from “good” or “bad” is a big-ass step

[tea-stained]

How fucked am I if I'm actually happy to feel horrible? It feels so refreshing after having every emotion numbed down. I love this feeling of "today felt nice, something unthinkably bad will happen soon", and this overwhelming feeling of helplessness. I love being able to name them!!!

I'm used to this feeling of impending doom to the point where I just sort of accept it, but today it felt different. So powerful. Made my heart go faster. Made me feel so helpless. Made me feel alive!

And I did not even need meds to feel it!

Am I healing? Am I finally healing?

It's such a relief, to feel this way again.

I'm glad. I'm happy. I feel something I can name. I feel so many things I can name. Today was so... Productive! Even though I have not created anything, other than pleasant memories!

I thought it would be a disaster. I thought I've lost myself even further today. But no.

I'm coming back.

Wait for me, my younger self.

I will pull you back up.

We will stand here, soon, arm by arm, side by side.

We will be one again.

Today, I have found you.

But one day, together, we will reach the me.

[scientia-rex]

Long ask. I didn't see that you had answered anything similar.

How do I do activism? Yes, I could Google it, but I would rather learn from a stranger with claimed yet unverifiable experience on Tumblr than from a stranger with claimed yet unverifiable experience anywhere else, and I'm here and so are you and we can talk and have a [para]social interaction. I won't bore you with a condensed autobiography, but I have a lot of experience fixing mistakes, not unlike being a physician, but far less noble, what David Graber would call a "duct-taper". It's partly what led me to socialism. I fixed mistakes but could not fix the root causes and, when I investigated those causes, I ran into structure. I couldn't explain the human behavior I witnessed as human nature, because it wasn't my nature and, as far as I know, I'm human, so the only explanation I could come up with was that the structure of the company I worked for created the problems I was trying to solve, and I had no power to change that structure, and no desire to join the psychopaths failing up the corporate ladder. I expanded my thinking outward and saw the problem inherent in capitalism and all the associated -isms and -archies, all the while trying to figure out what I could do that could possibly change any of it. I dove into progressive politics, read theory, consumed all the lefty content I could find, and thought, and keep running into the same problems. But even if the root causes cannot be addressed, the effects still need to be, because the effects are people, hence activism.

How do I talk to congresspeople? I email them about issues, but am frankly afraid to call them. Shall I get voice mail, or does a person pick up? If the latter, I'm assuming it will be a secretary. I don't want to be mean to a person answering phones. I've been one of those people getting yelled at or threatened because of events I did not cause and could not possibly prevent or change and, maybe I'm oversensitive or have PTSD or just a hyperactive amygdala, but I cannot overstate the damage those negative experiences cause. Sure, in the grand scheme of things, the lives that can be saved or improved outweigh a few people's hurt feelings or possible psychological trauma, but I would prefer not to turn this into a trolley problem if at all possible. Maybe it's a stupid question. Maybe I'm overthinking it. I can be charming and I have no lack of empathy; I can politely disagree. Shall I have to argue with anyone? Or is it a thank-you-for-your-participation-I-will-tell-the-congressperson-have-a-nice-day situation?

How do I get a job doing good things for people? This is somewhat pressing as I quit my corporate job five years ago, to have what turned out to be a midlife crisis, and have been living off savings (that are running out) ever since. I want to help and don't want to be ashamed of what I do for a living. I've always been able to do anything I've ever tried to do, but I'm 45 with little formal education or qualifications, and am thinking it's maybe too late to go back to school. Most of the non-profits I see seem like little more than scams. And perhaps the most serious complication: I'm a loner, more out of habit than inclination. I'll spare you the background, but I have no connections and no idea how to make them, and I don't believe I have any particular skills so valuable that should confer an immediate advantage or demand for my labor, but then again I don't know what is in demand.

It's OK if you can't answer some of these things. I simply have no one to talk to about them who can give any actual advice and figured you might. Thanks.

How to do activism: The first thing you need to know is your axe to grind. It was easy for me. I've been out since I was 13, nobody ever believes a girl is bisexual, it's always "you want attention" or "you're secretly a lesbian." That was in 1997. I went through hell and I'm bitter about it. So when I realized I liked medicine, I realized I could turn my life into an extended revenge arc by moving home and telling everybody it's OK to be gay. Two birds, one stone. I work with a woman who didn't get her axe to grind until about three years ago. She realized she was fed up with people abandoning dogs. She's one of the most active volunteers at the local shelter now. She's saved a lot of dogs' lives. She didn't start out knowing anything about it, but she told the shelter she wanted to volunteer, and they've helped her grow through the rest of it. My husband works with the local food bank, because his mom's neighbor (who is a family friend and sweetheart) wrangled him in to serving on the board, so now in addition to board meetings once a month he goes in sometimes to do things like help his mom's friend unload trucks. Sometimes the cause picks you, sometimes you pick the cause, sometimes you are the cause. And no matter what the cause is, someone else is already working on it. Someone else already cares deeply and if you show up ready to be hands on and help out, with humility because you know that you don't know everything, they will help you learn how to be effective. I started out in medicine by volunteering at the emergency room near where I lived. I pushed a linen cart around and restocked gowns in rooms, and when I couldn't fit any more washcloths into drawers I cleaned doorknobs. One of the nurses once told me she really appreciated that I cleaned all the doorknobs, because it wasn't getting regularly done. I am in medicine now because of many, many people I asked for help and who helped me because they wanted to contribute to justice and equity in medicine, whether for queers or rural people or women. This is, and has always been, a combined effort. Alone we beg, together we bargain.

Calling elected representatives: Oh god I know, me too, calling strangers is the LITERAL WORST. I'm 40 and I'd rather pepper-spray myself than argue with a human on the phone. Wait until after hours and you'll get a voicemail. I like to leave voicemails that start with "My name is Dr. Rex, I'm a constituent of yours, and I VOTE, and I'm calling about ____." That's honestly about all it takes--when I was hanging out with the lobbyist she told me they keep lists with tick-marks for how many calls, emails, etc., they get on a topic. Calls count for more. The more effort you have to put in, the more engaged they know you are. So call, but if people scare you (and the people who pick up are almost always nice, if you do get a person, and they will 99/100 times say "thank you for your call, we will pass your concerns along to so-and-so"), call at night.

Going back to school is probably unnecessary. Spin your past experience aggressively and start applying to nonprofits. (You "took time off from the working world in order to sharpen your focus on what matters most to you," which will be whatever this particular group does.) It's OK if you pick a bad one to start with; most of them are shit-shows, and lots of them still accomplish good things. Nonprofits are a bloodbath when it comes to actually being an employee--they know that part of the compensation is the sense of living ethically and they will use your altruism against you--so keep your resume updated and be prepared to bail if grant funding doesn't come through, but most areas have food banks and pet shelters and human shelters and jails and medical clinics and hospitals (for every doctor who works at the local hospital there are at least 10 support staff by the numbers, and they are utterly critical and always under-staffed). Sometimes if you start by volunteering somewhere, once they realize you're dependable, you can get a job there. I am zero percent kidding about working for a hospital, clinic, or jail, by the way. Those are places I know well, and there are always civilian jobs available. You want to make a patient's day better? Be the front desk, front line staff who use the right pronouns and cheer them up.

I think it's completely reasonable to have procedural questions about how all of this works, and I am grateful to you for giving me a chance to talk about it a bit. Please feel free to ask any follow-up questions. And for reference, when I was just starting out in research at a time when the market for research-trained people frankly sucked, I applied well over 300 times and got well over 300 rejections (I was counting) before I ended up with a job that I loved (even though it was hellishly stressful and I made just barely more than minimum wage for working well over my alleged, salaried "hours") and felt like I was making a positive difference for the world with. And from there, I kept making changes as I realized what I wanted and needed. Just keep doing it. You don't have to feel good about every step, you don't have to know what you're doing, just keep putting one foot in front of the other as you try to figure out what will make you happy. Because nothing else is a good proxy for happiness, and happiness, for a whole lot of humans, means finding something meaningful to do in life. Helping others. Be okay with changing, be okay with sacrificing who you are right now for the sake of who you can become. You've survived four decades on this bizarre and cruel planet, and you have inherent, intrinsic worth as a human being. You deserve your own kindness.

[buff-muffin]

ASL thoughts and head canons.

1. Sabo’s missing tooth he had as a kid didn’t actually fall out. He chipped it back when he was still living with his family. And his parents thinking that made him look disgusting and rowdy had the rest of the tooth removed before his adult tooth was even remotely ready to move in. Thus there was a gap in his teeth for ages. It started growing in when Sabo set sail.

2. Luffy loved using Ace’s freckles as a dot to dot. Both brothers heavily think he doesn’t have a fucking clue what animals he’s trying to conjure and Ace is getting sick of having to fight him tooth and nail every time Luffy finds a marker

3. In his early days of friendship with Ace. Sabo refused to believe that he could eat an entire bear by himself. He thought Ace was exaggerating like when someone says “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse” yet when he saw it with his own eyes he was horrified. Ace was also confused why Sabo didn’t want a bear to himself. But didn’t complain. Hunting one bear for the both of them and fighting over it was pretty fun. And scavenging berries for a desert never bothered them.

4. Sabo grew his hair out while he was a run away. He hated how it looked buzzed. And while he probably didn’t let it get any longer then his brother’s he loved the freedom. His mother cut his hair the second he was taken back home

5. Ace and Sabo hadn’t thought twice about bugs. Ace saw them as pests like the moths that would huddle around the candle light and Sabo was taught that they were gross. Luffy on the other hand adored them. He showed them bug fighting and showed them all sorts of cool and pretty bugs. He would also put beetles in his brothers’ shoes for fun but in the end they had come out of it for a new respect for bugs and a little bit more love-hate for Luffy.

6. Sabo tried to tell his adopted brother about his real brothers but he refused to believe Sabo was telling the truth. I mean beating up a giant tiger in the woods? Being made of rubber? Being able to eat 5 times their body weight in a matter of minutes? He thought Sabo was loony.

7. When taken back to his parents, Sabo refused to eat with his brother. Sharing a meal with someone made you friends and sharing a cup of sake made you brothers. And he wanted nothing to do with him.

8. Sabo was Dadans favourite. At first. Originally Sabo was… as well behaved as he was going to be around his brothers because that need to respect authority was so engrained in him. Though as he grew more comfortable with Dadan and trusting she really wasn’t going to kick him out other dumb things. He started joining in on the bullying Dadan band wagon. And she hated them all equally again.

9. Luffy and Ace find it absolutely hilarious how bad Sabo would get sun burnt in the summer. They would chase him around trying to slap him for hours. Dadan taught him how to make a remedy and over the years he gained a tan and freckles that he knew would have his bio dad blow a fuse.

10. Luffy always wants to be in fights of strength with his brothers to prove he’s strong. You know, arm wrestling. That weird thing were you put your feet together and push with all you’re might. And of course rough housing. But in the super early years of being a rubber man that was impossible cause his body would just. Bend. Arm wrestling? Womp womp no elbow for you. Foot wrestle? His legs fold like a piece of paper. He was humiliated and his face was bright red every time Ace and Sabo would laugh.

11. One of the best training methods the brothers had found for Luffy was actually made as a joke. Still completely pathetic at landing a damn punch Sabo jokingly said he should train by trying to catch bugs by stretching your arms. And after a lot of frustrated afternoons his aim did improve an alarming amount. Luffy to this day continues to train that way and he always thinks of Sabo when he does.

12. They never finished that bottle of sake they stole from Dadan. At the time they all thought the drink was absolutely putrid though drank their cups if it meant they were brothers. The bottle is still in the treehouse. Even after everything. It’s completely oxidised but the smell keeps animal from making their treehouse a nest so Ace and Luffy never minded all that much.

[sophieinwonderland]

Now, why would you dare me to embarrass you and your pals like that?

I appreciate how you wanted my attention so bad you posted me to not one, but two subreddits.

Makes a girl feel special! 🤣

I have actually never seen Wikipedia cited as a source about endogenic plurality. Though I do see anti-endos all the time, when asked for sources, telling people to just Google things.

Anyway, here's @guardianssystem's document filled with academic papers about endogenic plurality:

I've compiled my own, but honestly, theirs is better organized than mine.

And in the interest of fairness, here are all the anti-endo papers debunking endogenic plurality:

Sorry, I forgot. Those don't exist. Oops. 🤷‍♀️

Echo chamber? LOL!

Weren't you the one spouting a bunch of lies on Tumblr, got totally debunked, posted the people who debunked you to r/systemscringe to have a hugbox where fakeclaimers could assure you how the people who contradicted you are all fakers, and then blocked everyone who disagreed with you?

Weren't you also the one who, when shown a quote from an expert in dissociative disorders who worked on the DSM-5 saying that a disorder isn't a disorder if it doesn't cause distress, argued that the people who defined what disorder are must be wrong about that definition?

You're a misinformation machine who can only find support when huddled in cringe subreddits. Don't try to talk about people in echo chambers.

Also, you know most of psychology is just... listening to people? That's how it's been as long as the field existed. DID (or MPD at the time) was a recognized disorder since long before the first brain scans were conducted on DID patients. It's saying something though when basically every single scientist who has ever researched endogenic plurality has said they believe it's a real thing, or that it could be. While absolutely zero academic papers have expressed that it's fake.

There is also an fMRI study into tulpa systems that's been in the works, but results have yet to be published.

Sure, if that's what you'd like me to call you, Crazy. 😊

Anyway, Crazy, you should know that just because you personally find something scary doesn't mean everyone will or that the thing is bad. Personal preferences are a thing.

In a study of tulpamancers though, most generally reported their lives becoming better after the practice.

78% reported improvements in their mental health, and 91% on overall life.

There are many out there who would jump at the chance to have someone there with them that knows them intimately, and to never have to be alone again.

If it's not for you, then so be it.

But it's certainly not something to be afraid of.

And maybe, for those who are willing to commit to the practice while America struggles with an epidemic of loneliness, it's something worth being open to.

This is actually pretty fair.

But that's now, and I'm looking at course of history and trends of plural acceptance.

300 years ago, any plural would be viewed as demon possessed and end up tortured or killed for their plurality.

70 years ago, all plurality was seen as a mental illness, and it was common to force plurals, as well as anyone else associated with mental illnesses, into asylums.

30 years ago, the first real plural communities were able to connect on the internet and form in small numbers.

8 years ago, the first studies into endogenic plurality started being conducted. 4 years ago, the ICD-11 acknowledged that you could have multiple distinct personality states without a disorder. 2023 marked the first, but certainly not the last, time a system used their system name as an author of an academic paper.

Recently, new plural resources have been designed and put into use. More servers than ever are using Pluralkit. And Simply Plural went from 100k users at the end of 2021 to 210k at the end of 2022.

Progress is happening far more rapidly than you realize. And you had best be ready for it.

BOO! 👻

Oh, hey, I just realized... this is literal pluralphobia!

Liberté!

Egalité!

Fraternité!

And yes, The Future is Plural! 😜

[cherubchoirs]

What? This is what I thought when he has V1's parents' same reaction.

lucifer sees v1 as a work of art that has become an artist in itself - being once of god, unlike any other angel, lucifer has massive amounts of creativity and appreciation for what humanity achieved through their own god-given spark. but beyond that, for v1 in particular, he sees something that has moved past its makers, it has forged its own path in defiance of what it was made for. he is fascinated by its mind, its construction, its life as something that may or may not have a soul (for what constitutes a soul, even lucifer does not know). but importantly it is a life not made by god, it is removed from him, and he wants to meet what god did not create. he wants to see what a full, vibrant experience it has, and v1 sure does. not disappoint lol so animalistic in behavior but with a razor-sharp mind, its first action is probably to challenge him to a one-on-one fight - not a surprise, given how much he knows through hell itself, but he worries he won't be an impressive match for it. he had been inert for so long and really...lucifer was never a warrior, his strength bolstered purely by his closeness to god. still, like anyone that can face v1 and live to tell about it, he finds the fight inspired, unpredictable, and a beautiful insight into a mind he cannot understand despite his godly knowledge. he is not moved by battle, but he can feel how v1 is, its emotions showing through and resonating within lucifer so that he gains insight into its passion. v1 finds its fascination in turn, recognizing right away that lucifer is not a fighter yet there is a disjointed fluidity in his movement, his choices largely defensive and illusory - he wouldn't be v1's first choice as an opponent, though his skillset is unique enough that it doesn't get bored. they stand as two perfect creations, the pinnacle of what god and man could create, and they find interest in the other purely for how alien they are. lucifer made for love and creation, v1 for apathy and destruction, curious of the other as they have been steeped in the role of their opposite.

gabriel doesn't ever really say anything to lucifer about his relationship with v1, mostly figuring it wouldn't be of any relevance to him as he seems preoccupied with attending to his fallen angels. but also...gabriel's aware that lucifer knows most of what's happened in hell and so his partnership with v1 likely isn't a secret to him. unsurprisingly, lucifer doesn't broach the topic for some time, his talks with gabriel a bit sparing and distant with his mind so attuned now to a self-centered focus in his isolation (GENUINELY does not remember how to talk to other people). gabriel actually begins to think he might not even have an opinion on their relationship, but he finds out that's quite far from the truth once lucifer is able to acknowledge more outside of himself. it's just...not what gabriel expected, if he expected anything at all. lucifer, already coming in with an appreciation of the bizarre, is actually happy for what v1 and gabriel have together. their relationship entirely defies the "natural" order of things, an act that would have been condemned fully by god and denied even as possible by v1's makers. he is glad too to see that love led gabriel to something better, it allowed him to finally follow what his heart had been telling him for all this time. it is a very rare thing to find such a kindred spirit and then to defy everything you were told you are in pursuit of that....and lucifer can find nothing more noble in the world than that. so while he continues to harbor his own issues with gabriel, he believes v1 has improved him by bounds and that he is now far more "palatable" than his siblings. gabriel has no idea how to take this, but v1 labels it an "endorsement" of its "personality"

[theradicalscrivener]

I'm gonna get new ears installed.

It's getting close to 5 am and I can't sleep yet. Part of it is because I just finished work, but part of it is because I'm... Excited? ... Anxious? I'm both happy and sad and a little hopeful but also very fearful.

So, for those not in the know. I'm deaf and have been my whole life. It's not one of those things like I can't hear anything. But a lot of frequencies and sound ranges just don't work well for me. I tried wearing heading aids when I was a kid, but they made things worse. All they did was amplify everything. That made it harder to hear the pieces I had to struggle to hear since it was getting further buried under even more background noise.

For example, if you've ever been to a movie where the sound mixing was off. The dialogue is incomprehensible because the ambient noise is so frickin loud. If you try to turn the volume up, all you hear is more jets and explosions.

Anyway, I've had some issues in class where some professors are very hard to understand but the college wouldn't help me until I had a current diagnosis from an audiologist saying that yeah. I really am just that deaf. In the process of seeing the audiologist though, she was telling me that they have new stuff that can work for people like me. Unlike old hearing aids that amplify all sound, these things have like adaptive sound controls and can amplify specific frequencies on the fly. So in theory it will bring my hearing to similar levels as other people's.

The thing costs $10k... I have decent insurance which drops it down to $6k but it's still a massive expense. I'm going to do it though.

I'm both excited and anxious. If the audiologist is to be believed, I spend a lot of my energy on listening to people speak, then replay it back in my head and soft through the possible similar sounding words and recreate the sentences on my head.

I've always said I do this. I jokingly refer to it as "buffering" because I'm running on a few second delay in conversation. Like imagine those interviews on the news where there's this awkward pause of four to five seconds where the signal gets sent across the world from the asker to the answerer before the other person can respond to it. The doc says this is probably the source of a lot of my frequent migraines and exhaustion and is exacerbating my tinnitus. Basically I'm in like hyper vigilant mode 24/7 constantly trying to pick out the faintest sounds so I can be functional in normal life leading to constant mental fatigue.

Anyway. I don't know how long it will take to actually get the device, and once I get it, the doc said it'll take a while to get adjusted. They're not just going to throw me into the deep end and let me figure it out. The plan is to slowly increase the deadened frequencies until they balance out with the others.

I don't know what this will actually do for me. I've never been able to hear normally so I don't know what it will feel like. I don't know if I will ever get to a normal hearing level. I wonder if this will make it easier out in public. I get overwhelmed in busy places since there are so many sounds which makes it impossible to hear the things I want.

I'm worried that I'll spend all this money and it won't improve anything.

I'm worried that I will get these and it will be everything I wanted.

How long has this tech existed? Could I have had this years ago? How much have I missed by not being able to understand people talking to me.

If I get this will it make a noticable difference in the migraines? In the chronic fatigue? I don't know. I want to be optimistic, but it's hard to even know what to expect.

Anyway. If you want a bit of a glimpse into what it's like being me, give this a listen

[connectionterminated13]

Connection established welcome!

÷=@%&=@@^&=+#&&$×!_&&£

Hello my name is connection terminated13! I am a 16 year old Canadian learning artist. I use she/they

÷=@%&=@@^&=+#&&$×!_&&£

I am big fan of the stupid bear game (fnaf).I do like other things though like little nightmares, Adventure time, John dies at the end. But it's mostly just fnaf!

÷=@%&=@@^&=+#&&$×!_&&£

Also please remember I have dyslexia and use speech to type! I often make spelling errors so if you see one just tell me:3

÷=@%&=@@^&=+#&&$×!_&&£

DNI list: Proship, Terfs, Pedophiles/Zoophiles, Bigotry of any kind, No extreme NSFW (I mostly mean purposely sexual stuff)

÷=@%&=@@^&=+#&&$×!_&&£

Fnaf AU's!!!

#fnaf Inferno au

Basically my version of the events depicted in the stupid bear game :)

#fnaf Death swap

Almost all of the deaths are swapped in the main series. Charlie lives Sammy dies, Charlie's friends are the Mci, Michael dies to baby instead of Elizabeth.

The plot mostly follows a much older Elizabeth Who is soon to turn 22, Lives in a small apartment with her girlfriend Susie and plays in a punk band that she created called "Baby and the circus freaks". One night she gets a call from her father that Michael is still here, at circus babies entertainment in rentals and it's Elizabeth strobbed to put him back together...

# Fractured Memories

Evan survives the bite But understand that he is supposed to die. He also knows that his family all die and become horrible monsters. At tonight he can see the monsters his family becomes. As for the family they're dealing with the physical afflictions of death's not yet to come. All Evan can do is sit back and watch as his memory and reality fractures further

#cub au

Cassie is phone dude's daughter, phone dude dies in FNAF 3 and having no one else to take care of her Michael decides to adopt her.

It's mostly just Michael being a really good dad and Cassie being a cute little kid

#Red Sunrise

the only thing I actually written for:

The premise is Elizabeth dying in the fnaf6 Fire then diving back into the living play after tricking old man consequences

As of writing there's only 2 chapters I'm working on the third but you know life...

#fnaf Rewrite

A rewrite of the twisted ones but mostly the fourth closet novels. Getting rid of the gross stuff and generally trying to improve the story!

#Gears and rot au

William made some robot versions of his dead daughter and son then realized how fucking weird that was and shut them down in the murder clown basement. Years later Michael goes down and does a sister location. The robot version of Evan is able to save him before he becomes a skin suit but Mikey still "dies" from internal bleeding

It's now Michael's job to take care of the little robot even though it is creepy and weird...

#Victorian AU

I can't believe I haven't added this one yet! Should probably summarize it

It's kind of like 5 nights at Freddy's but Victorian... There's some twists added in.. You're just gonna have to go and find out!!!!!

# Farbear fright re imagining

Basically my take on fazbear frights :3

Cassie in the dark

It's not just a normal AU it's an ask blog!!!

@cassie-in-the-dark

General goofiness

I have like 6 au that I never really did anything with... You can find them if you want...

Upcoming???

Extremely silly :3

÷=@%&=@@^&=+#&&$×!_&&£

And here's some of my arts!!

[doodlegirl1998]

Since I'm dissatisfied with how my boys Sero and Aoyama are treated in the story, Imma just make a rewrite for how they could've been utilized in the story.

Sero: His backstory would be that when his quirk came in people often said and believe it wouldn't be popular or useful in heroics, and other kids even made fun of his elbows for how his quirk made him look now. So he strives to become a hero to prove those negative voices wrong and maybe even become a fan favorite.

But as his stay at UA goes on, he starts to realize that the school isn't living up to it's image as the best hero school as he sees how they handle bullying (Izuku being harrassed by Bakugou yet no one, even the teachers aren't doing anything), brushing off their trauma (Going on with the Sports Festival after a traumatic event at the USJ), and even failing him for something he did but another student passes doing the same (Falling unconscious while their partner helps them pass) it was the final straw.

He goes to complain about how things are being run and that they should take 1-A's feelings into consideration since everyone seems to think the villains attacking them and how Aizawa runs his class is their fault somehow, but no one listens to him as they only know him as the guy who got eliminated first and failed the finals.

Seeing as how no one will listen to him, he convinces his parents to transfer him to another hero school and leaves for a while. He comes back in the war arc and shows off how much he improved compared to UA since he actually learned something instead of being brushed off.

Aoyama: Have his quirk come in late and how that causes him stomach pains, he is very observant as he can learn about a person just by watching how they act alone.

And one certain student catches his eye, Izuku Midoriya. Despite having a quirk perfect for Heroics, his demeanor doesn't match it at all. So with his skills of observing, he was able to figure out what exactly Izuku is hiding... and that's how he figured out about OFA.

The difference here is that he's not the traitor, so instead goes to confront Izuku about this and make sure he got the facts right. He promises not to tell anyone about this and joins him on his OFA training, offering tips and opinions on how he can improve as he trains his quirk as well.

He and Izuku become friends and he's happily accepted into Izuku's friend group.

Hi @theloganator101 👋,

Love these rewrites for both Aoyama and Sero!

Sero transferring to another hero school (maybe Ms Joke's) would work really well for him and show the direct impact of Aizawa's teaching and favoritism of Bakugou.

Bonus - Imagine if he is one of many that decide to leave and reappear stronger in the War Arc under the tutelidge of another school. I imagine he goes with Koda, Shoji, Ojiro and Hagakure. (This is a nice way to thin down the class without killing anyone and highlights the impact of Aizawa's poor teaching.)

Aoyama - being observant and the one to figure out OFA and attend OFA training with Izuku and his other classmates (instead of Bakugou) works so much better. I could also see Aoyama and Izuku bonding strongly over how they were treated when society believed them both to be quirkless.

Bonus - Momo with the versatility of her quirk also could have been useful in helping Izuku with the versatility of OFA. Additionally, Shoto also should have been great to help Izuku for this reason too with the added bonus of being one of his best friends.

Good rewrites!

[thequietkid-moonie]

Serotonin by girl in red

Nikola Tesla

(I am especially attached to this song with him because both the song and Nikola helped me when creating a character i love till this day)

Serious and negative assistant

[ PLATONIC HEADCANONS ] [ Nikola Tesla ]

[ Shuumatsu no Valkyrie / Records of Ragnarok ]

› Song that inspired this [ Serotonin - girl in red ]

This went a little messy, still I did my best! The song was really interesting, I loved the rhythm! And it brought me a really interesting idea!

I hope you like it as much as I did! Please enjoy ~

You always loved to learn, science is something that had always amused you and you wanted to be able to enter on this magnificent world and work on all kind of studies, that is why when the the opportunity presented itself do not think twice before accepting, however nothing prepared you for what you will face with Nikola Tesla

You knew he was consider a pretty crazy man but you never thought he will be that crazy, you admire his work, you really do but you can't just understand how he can be so innocent and selfless at times, always with a smile in his face and working with an inmense passion. You admire him but don't understand him

Having the opportunity to work with him wasn't difficult, what were difficult was to actually start working, since Tesla is always so pasionate with his work and is used to work alone he almost always forgot to give you something to do, and even when you call him out for it he just apologize with a smile. At first you tried to be polite and remind him that you are here to work with him but soon you lost your patience and start talk to him irritated, telling him that you want to work and learn too, and no matter how you say it to him he never lose his smile

As irritating it can be you were learning a lot, Tesla is always explaining out loud what he is doing or all his new plans for you to be able to follow him on the project, always willing to answer every one of your question, even if that means explain the complete function and theory behind each project, it was amusing how dedicated he is on his work and on teaching you everything he knows but at the same time he has being idiotic for sharing his work so easily, someone can just steal it from him, but when you point it out he just laugh at the posibility, not with arrongance, Tesla find it pretty funny since he believe from the bottom of his heart that knowledge must be shared and science exist to help humanity improve, you really don't understand him, is really okay with the posibility of someone stealing something for what he has been working so hard?

As time pass you had learn enough to start helping him more in the projects, starting to help him while making the theory and planning how you two could make it happen, but you two constantly argue by it since while you try to keeping your feet on the ground and think in all kind of posibilities that you sure you could make work Tesla's mind goes wild and thinks in posibilities that sounds imposible before even trying to think how it could work (and yet, for him it always make perfect sense), you always got mad at him for doing it and ask him to be serious but he reasure you with a big and proud smile that he never jokes when it comes to science

It had been some times where you can tell that there are some errores or big posibilities of failure with the progress of a project, and while you try to find a logic solution to it Tesla seem to be three steps forward and has one more of his strange solution, other time he just continue with the project and end up failing, like you tried to warn him, even making clear that you already told him that it will happen and yet Tesla never seem to be truly frustrated or irritated by failures, he just stand up and wins even more motivation to continue working, you don't understand how he does it

You don't understand him, you don't know how he does it, how is posible that this man always carries a big and bright smile on his face, while you worry about things not working he just decided to search for another way to do it, when you feel like everything will go bad he has confidence on his projects, when a project fails you repeat to yourself over and over again how you knew this would happen or how you didn't prevent it while Tesla is winning more determination and motivation to continue, while you take science with an inmense seriousness and dedicaron Tesla always goes to his study with a big smile and inmense passion

You don't understand him and that frustrated you a lot, is there something wrong with you? is there something wrong with him? is that you should be more like him? is he just crazy like everyone thinks? is that you were expecting too much from science? were you expecting too much from him? You truly don't understand

Your irritation and frustration grows more and more until it start to mess up your work, you were so troubled that started to worry Tesla so he decided to take you on a break, he wanted to help you relax and distract yourself so he takes you out of the study, but you were hesitant, why you should go out when the important is in the study?

When he finally manage to get you out of the study he just take you to different places to help you distract yourself, to just enjoy the moment without worring about the projects, but you still don't understand why he is doing all of this!

After a long time of trying to relax Tesla finally talks about the work again, he tells you that he is working on the science because is something that had always amused him, he does it because he wants to see humanity improve, he wants to make everyone smile with his creations... and that includes you, he want to be able to make you smile with the science you love so much

You don't understand his reasoning and yet you can't help but feel flattered by his words, you have being so busy taking too serious science that you had forgotten about your love for science

You don't understand him and sometimes thinks that he is just a crazy man with his head in the clouds, but you were sure that you won't change him for anyone else in the world

[hannahmanderr]

DannyMay Day 19 - No Backspace Challenge

Yup, this fic was completed without using the backspace key! So there will be mistakes, but I'm hoping I was able to incorporate the mistakes into the story ;)

Words: 3,858

Summary: Jack has finally caught Phantom! Except Maddie's out of town, and he's not that great with a scalpel. So how about studying him with the next best thing: an interview?

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FENTONWORKS LOGS - Phantom, D.

ABILITIES: (click to expand)

OTHER DESCRIPTORS: (click to expand)

THREAT LEVEL: (click to expand)

THEORIES: (click to expand)

FIELD NOTES: (click to expand)

LAB NOTES:

Showing: Most Recent

DATE: Sept. 12 15:49 pm

PREPARED BY: Jack Fenton

LOGS:

Today I finally did it! I, Jack Fenton, captured the menace known as Phantom! I might’ve accidentally spilled my drink over the backspace key on this keyboard and glitched it out in the process, but it’s a small price to pay to get a chance to examine the ghost boy! If I mess up, I’ll just strike it through. But I’m sure it won’t be to too much! Other than that mistake, at least.

So! How’d I capture him!? Turns out it was real simple! I just walked into the basement and he was there, standing in front of the portal! That’s one of the spots we have pop-up containment units installed, so all I had to do was jump on over to the computer and hit the button, and presto! One protoplasmic punk sealed up tight in a Fenton Containment and Observation Unit!

I might’ve gotten a little excited when I got to the button though. That’s how I spilled my drink. But like a I said, a small price to pay for this breakthrough!

The only problem was that Maddie and I have really wanted to dissent disect dissect Phantom, but I’m no good at actually going through ghost bodies and stuff (ha! Ghost pun!). That’s more Maddie’s stint. I’m the engineer! Bu But yeah, Maddie’s taken Jazz to visit a college this weekend, so it’s been a Fenton’s man weekend for the Fenton men! Without Maddie though, I can’t try and start peeking into Phantom. Especially because I think Maddie wants to try and keep him “alive” for further study (she has a theory about how he gets his ectoplasm apparently, a genius idea!).

But I’m Jack Fenton! I’m not gonna going to let an opportunity like this pass me buy by! There’s still plenty of ways I can get more info on him! Only question is what.

Maybe I’ll ask Danny. I know he doesn’t want anything to do with the family business, but he just doesn’t know he really is meant for it yet! And he’s a clever kid, even if his grades aren’t great. Maybe he can help me brainstorm some ideas - ooo, or maybe he’ll even be okay with helping me! It’s always great to have a lab partner, and I don’t want to take away from the girls’ special bonding time.

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FENTONWORKS LOGS - Phantom, D.

ABILITIES: (click to expand)

OTHER DESCRIPTORS: (click to expand)

THREAT LEVEL: (click to expand)

THEORIES: (click to expand)

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Showing: Most Recent

DATE: Sept. 12 20:12 pm

PREPARED BY: Jack Fenton

LOGS:

Well, I couldn’t get a hold of Danny, but Tucker called over and said the two of them were going to have a sleepover to work on a history project together. Believe me, I’m glad Danny-boy is taking the opportunity to improve his grades, but I’ll be honest, I’m kind of dissapo disappointed. I was hoping to get to bring him into the wonderful world of ghost hunting, have a little man-to-man bonding! Maybe next time.

I thought about what to do with Phantom over dinner. I’ve been trying to ignore him, because he keeps asking me when I’m going to let him go and stuff, so I just keep telling him I’ll let him go when I let him go. Weirdly enough, he got all quiet while I ate my dinner (I made sure to eat it in the lab to keep an eye on him and make sure he didn’t try anything slippery).

I’m not sure why I did, if I’m being honest, but I asked him what was up. One thing everyone knows about Phantom is that he’s not a quiet person at all - kid’s got a mouth that was born to run sass - so maybe I found his lack of talking uncharacteristic. It kind of made the whole lab feel eerie. We’d been bantering forth back and forth all afternoon, so the silence made me uncomfortable.

He looked surprised when I wasked asked him what was wrong. He definitely didn’t seem to want to answer me at first, but , but I guess his curiosity or something got the better of him, because he wanted to know what I was eating. I didn’t mind showing him, it was just leftover pasta from the other night, but the weird part was that he asked if he could have a little of it.

That one definitely threw me off a little. Everything Maddie andd and I have stuf studied has indicated that ghosts don’t eat; if anything, they “eat” ectoplams ectoplasm, which is why they have to live in the Ghost Zone. Our world doesn’t have enough ectoplasm in it to keep them sustained. Even if it’s a ghost who can “eta eat “eat” emotions from humans, they still have to go back to the Ghost Zone at some point to replenish on ectoplasm, since it’s the stuff that keeps them alive. Er, as alive as a ghost can get anyway.

So then why was Phantom asking to eat human fodo food? Maddie and I have theorized that H he’s one of the ghosts who can consume emoit emotions (see THEORIES), which is why he’s around so often and involves himself in ghost fights with high emotional energy environments. Maybe my emotions alone aren’t enough fo rhim for him? Or maybe they aren’t strong enough? Of course, that’s all assuming he’s the type who can “eat” emotions in the first place.

And even then, why ask to eat human food? Surely he knows that ghost bodies can’t process human food properly, otherwise we’d probably be seeing them eat it all the time. Could it be a leftover behavior from his time alive or something? Maybe he’s used to eating ectoplasmic constructs of human food.

I’ll admit that curis curiosity got the better of me, and I didn did end up giving him some of the pasta. Surprisingly enough, he did’ didn’t wolf it down, but he didn’t take his sweet time either. The way he ate was just very… normal. It struck me as very strange.

So I asked him why. Maybe I was being too blunt - people have told me that I am t too blunt before - but I can’t help it! I wasn want to learn as much as possible out about ghosts, especially if it helps me figure out better ways to keep them from r wreaking havoc in the human world.

It was weirder because he just kind of shrugged and told me he really likes chicken fettuccine. Didna’ Didn’t really offer up any other reason why he was eating food - human food that is. And when he ate it, it didn’t just come falling out of his stomach, like Maddie and I have figured is what happens when a ghost tries to eat human food.

The whole thing got me thinking. Phantom is the one ghost that we can’t pin down. He si seems to violate nearly every rule we’ve established when it g comes to ghosts and their behavior. The fact that he was happily slurping down my pasta was proof enough of that. And Maddie and I have a lot of questions about him and why and how he does the things he does. Questions that might not be answered by dissectiona dissection alone.

So why not just ask him? An interview would be the perfect way to study him!

Maddie n might not be the biggest fan of the idea - she’s definitely more the logical, observable facts kind of gal - but I don’t see the hamr harm done. She won’t be back for another two days, and like I said, I can’t take him apart without her. Might as well do something useful with the time, right? 

Maybe I should look into building a Fenton Lie Detector. There’s no way I’ll let some slippery ghost pull the wool over my eyes!

(Also note to self: look into ordering a new keyboard tomorrow. I’m starting to get tired of having to strike through all my mistakes.)

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FENTONWORKS LOGS - Phantom, D.

ABILITIES: (click to expand)

OTHER DESCRIPTORS: (click to expand)

THREAT LEVEL: (click to expand)

THEORIES: (click to expand)

FIELD NOTES: (click to expand)

LAB NOTES:

Showing: Most Recent

DATE: Sept. 13 09:23 am

PREPARED BY: Jack Fenton

LOGS:

It took all night, but I did it! The Fenton Lie Detector is a go!

Phantom was real curious about what I was up to for awhile, but around midnight or so, he fell asleep. Another thing to follow up on during our interview actually. Just like eating, ghosts js shouldn’t need to sleep, since they recharge their energy through ectoplasm and absorbing it. Plus, as far as we know, most ghosts can’t regenerate lost ectoplasm or body parts, not like a human can. Sleep is important to that regeneration process, so there’s no reason for a ghost to need sleep. I guess it just drives home the fact that Phantom is weirder than any other ghost we’ve studied.

Either way, it gave me some good peace and queit quiet to work on the Fenton Lie Detector. It wasn’t too difficult actually - I ended up repurposing the Fenton Ghost Gabber, since we found out it’s kind of redundant what with ghosts speaking human languages and such. So thankfully, a lot of the voice recording and storing as well as the processing work was already done, I just had to -

Oops, sorry! These are Phantom’s logs, right. I’ll make sure I write all this down in our invention logs though! I hope Maddie’s impressed with it!

Anyway, when Phantom woke up and started wondering what I was doing again, I finally told him. It was surprising because he actually seemed really interested in it. Said he even wanted to help me test it! Honestly I didn’t turn up my nose to that. Why would I give up on the chance to have a willing test subject? Even if they are just a piece of post-human consciousness embedded onto an ectoplasmic form.

I made sure to ask him simple questions that would be able to be obvious if he was lying about the answer or not, like his name and his hair color. The first one was a bit shaky, but the next one, when I asked if his hair was blue, went much smoother, thanks to a couple of little twew tweaks I made. All in all, the test was a smashing success! 

I need to go eat breakfast before doing the actual interview, but there was something else that’s probably important to note. After Phantom helped me test it, I kind of set it to the side, but I didn’t turn it off. I started to write this log, and then it kind of hit me that I should ask why he was so willing to help me test it the Lid Lie Detector.

When I asked him, he told me that he was hoping it would give him a chance to prove to me once and for all that he’s been telling the truth this whole time. I’m not sure exactly what he meant or what he was reffer refi referring to in terms of telling the truth, but the important part is that I happened to look over to the Lie Detector, and it didn’t return with any red flags. Meaning Phantom was telling the truth about wanting to prove he’s been telling us the truth. 

Whew! Kind of makes my head spin just writing it out.

That being said, I told him we’d do the interview after breakfast. 

You know, now that I’m thinking about it, I wonder if Phantom would like my huevos rancheros?

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FENTONWORKS LOGS - Phantom, D.

ABILITIES: (click to expand)

OTHER DESCRIPTORS: (click to expand)

THREAT LEVEL: (click to expand)

THEORIES: (click to expand)

FIELD NOTES: (click to expand)

LAB NOTES:

Showing: Most Recent

DATE: Sept. 13 14:46 pm

PREPARED BY: Jack Fenton

LOGS:

I know the time is not going to read particularly accurate, since it’ll be the time I submit the log and not when I started writing it, but this is the official log of my interview with the ghost that goes by Danny Phantom. I admittedly didn’t write out my questions beforehand (I kind of got distracted with building the Fenton Lie Detector), so for future reference, these questions were all made up during the interview itself.

Question 1: Earlier, when you talked about proving you were telling the truth, why what did you mean by that?

Answer: (paraphrased) He talked about wanting to show me that he’s been telling the truth about wanting to protect the town and not being an evil ghost this whole time. He said he’s been trying to tell us for ages, ever since that first ghost invasion when he kidnapped the mayor. (Lie Detector results: no red flags)

Question 2: So you’re claiming you didn’t kidnap the mayor back then - what really happened?

Answer: (paraphrased) The way he told it was that the mayor was overshadowed by another ghost named Walker, who eh he’d gotten into trouble with some time before then. Supposedly, this Walker was looking to get revenge on Phantom by making him out to be the bad guy and turning the town against him. Thus he framed Phantom to make it look like he kidnapped the mayor. (Lie Detector results: no red flags)

Question 3: What about the crimes committed a couple months after that? The camera footage from then shows you explicitly stealing and destroying public property of your own free will.

Answer: (quoted) “Funny that you think it was of my own free will.” (paraphrased) He asked if I remembered the circus ringleader that had been caught masterminding all of the thefts in the first place. I did remember, though I didn’t tell him it was actually Danny and his friends who helped get the guy arrested. According to Phantom, the ringleader had some sort of ghostly artifact that allowed the person who controlled it to put ghosts under a state of mind control. In other words, he’d been forced to steal those things against his true will (Lie Detector results: no red flags)

Question 4: So why try to be the “good guy” in the first place? Why try to fight against your own kind for a town of humans?

Answer: (paraphrased) He claims to have some sort of innate need to protect the defenseless and offer his help to those in need. He also said it’s not something he limits to humans; if there are ghosts in danger, he’ll do his best to protect them too. When pressed further about this “innate need,” he explained that most ghosts have something like that that drives them and forms a big part of their identity. Apparently, these “obsessions” (his word) can even stem from something the they’d held high value in before they died. When asked where his need to protect came from, he claimed he didn’t know. (Lie Detector results: some red flags marked during the last answer; otherwise no red flags)

Question 5: Do you remember how you died?

Answer: (quoted) “Yes.” (no clarification offered) (Lie Detector results: no red flags)

Question 6: How did you t die then?

Answer: (parahp paraphrased) He did not answer this right away. I’m not sure why. He seemed to kind of be thinking about this answer more. Eventually, he said he died from electrocution, but he refused to give up any more details (Lie Detector results: significant red flags indicated)

Question 7: How old of a ghost are you?

Answer: (paraphrased) He told me he’d basically become a ghost right after he died, which was three or four months before he was framed for kidnapping the mayor (Lie Detector results: no red flas flags; NOTE TO SELF: re-evaluate this answer because of discrepancies between age and power level)

Question 8: So because you’re a fairly young ghost, is that why you eat human food still?

Answer: (paraphrased) He answered yes to this and said it helps remind him of what it was like to be alive. He also said it helps fill the “pa phantom phantom” of his stomach, and he laughed at his own joke. I might’ve laughed a little bit too, I do appreciate a good play on words! (Lie Detector results: significant red flags indicated)

Question 9: Is that why you sleep too?

Answer: (paraphrased) He explained that ghosts can sleep, despite popular belief. It might not serve the same purposes as it does for a human, but it can still be beneficial for regulating the purity of bodily ex ectoplasm and allowing the mind to process things. He even told me that there’s a ghost of dreams who will travel around and “harvest” dreams from both ghosts and humans. (Lie Detector results: minor red flags indicated)

Question 10: How often do you sleep then?

Answer: (quoted) “Not as much as I’d like to, especially when some jef jerk of a ghost decides to wake him up in the mi me up in the middle of the night.” (Lie Detector results: no red fal flags)

Question 11: How do you even know where the ghosts are? You always seem to show up before anyone else, like even before our detectors can pick stuff up.

Question Answer: (paraphrased) He told me he has something he calls a “ghost sense” that basically alerts him to a ghost’s presence if it’s within a certain range, though he doesn’t know how far that range reaches. He also said that sometimes he can feel or pick out the ectosignatures of powerful ghosts and use them to help pinpoint their location (Lie Detector results: no red flags)

Question 12: Do you know why so many ghosts seem to show up at the high school?

Answer: (paraphrased) He claimed he didn’t know, though he wondered if it had something to do with the teenagers being easy targets for ghosts or easy sources of emotional energy. He admitted sometimes he hangs around the high school since he knows it’s such a hotspot for ghost activity. (Lie Detector results: moderate red flags indicated towards the beginning of the answer; minor red flags indicated throughout)

Question 13: Is that why so many of the teenagers seem to think you’re the hero? Because you hang around the high school?

Answer: (quoted) “I’m not mind-controlling them, if that’s what you think. Teenagers think superheroes are g cool, sue me.” (Lie Detector results: no red flags)

Question 14: Do you see yourself as a superhero then?

Answer: (paraphrased) He hesitated on this one again. I almost gave up on getting an answer out of him for this one when he finally said he’s not exactly sure how he sees himself. He went on and on about how he’s been called a lot of different things by a lot of different people but he wouldn’t go into detail about them. (quoted) “All I’m trying to do is the right thing. I don’t know what that makes me, but I promise I’m just trying to help.” (Lie Detector results: minor red flags during first part of answer: ; no red flags during second part)

Question 15: If all you’re trying to do is the right thing, then why act so elusive and secretive and mysterious? No one can seem to pin you down or get a true read on you, since you usually come into and out of ghost fights so quickly.

Answer: (quoted) “Sometimes I wonder if I made the right choice. I’m getting tired of keeping secrets. Especially from…” [answer cut off before he finished] (Lie Detector results: no red flags)

**NOTE TO SELF: What does he mean be by that? What choice is he talking about? And why is the Lie Detector saying he is telling the truth when he seems so nervouc nervous? He waited so long before saying that, is it really the truth?

I’m not done with the interview yet, I still have a tone ton of questions, but I’m going ahead and saving and submitting this while I go answer the door. Wouln Wouldn’t want to lose all this valuable work!

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FENTONWORKS LOGS - Phantom, D.

ABILITIES: (click to expand)

OTHER DESCRIPTORS: (click to expand)

THREAT LEVEL: (click to expand)

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FIELD NOTES: (click to expand)

LAB NOTES:

Showing: Most Recent

DATE: Sept. 13 15:03 pm

PREPARED BY: Jack Fenton

LOGS:

Alright, starting today, I’m making a new rule: no non-Fenton personnel in the lab unless they’re previously authorized!

Sorry, I’m just upset. I know Sam didn’t mean to, but this is a huge loss for us. I should’ve had her come with me when she asked me if I could help find one of Danny’s textbooks, but she offered to look in the lab while I looked in his room and it seemed like an okay arrangement at the time!

The long and short of it is Phantom is gone. She accidentally hit the release when she was looking around, and of course that punk took the first chance he had to run - er. Fly, anyway.

I wasn’t even done with the interview! That last question I asked, I wasn’t expecting his answer at all. It brought up at least five other questions! And now my mind is racing, I can’t get it off of what he said. It just has me so confused.

I won’t lie - what with the Lie Detector, he acut actually had me believing him. For the first time, I was starting to believe that he was telling us the truth about being the hero - that he’s been playing the part of the hero this whole time. Not even playing the part, like actually trying to save people!

So if his goal is to get me and Maddie to see him that way, why would he run? He seemed so eager to try and help me understand his side of things before.

I just heard Danny come in the door. I should probably go check in on him; it’s not like I have anything else down here I need to worry about.

Wait, that probably sounded really rude. I’m sorry Danny! You’re way more important than any ghost, I promise son.

Before I submit this, I’m just saying this for futuer future me: maybe don’t show this to Maddie. She’ll see it eventually of course, since we both have access to these logs, but I don’t think I’m going to tell her right away. I need time to go through the responses that I did get and re-evaluate the Fenton Lie Detector logs. Not that I don’t trust her, of o course! Maddie is my everything.

But this whole Phantom mystery, I think it’s something I need to figure out for myself first.

[samuelroukin]

hi! not here in favor of you making Actual Books (i don't even read any of the newly published books anymore for reasons and reasons and reasons), just complimenting your work in general

i dont really care for cod at all but i really enjoy how you write the characters!! and tbh the only reason i watched some playthroughs of the games was so i could understand your work better. sure, fandom is the main reason people click in, but it's definitely not why they're staying. and it's not why people are writing paragraphs of praise to your stubborn ass even though you work so hard to never listen to any of it 💖

also id be enchanted to hear more about your ocs on future works or even here on tumblr!! you're great at creating made up people that actually feel real. they're pretty round (funnily enough that is the actual technical term), even when you don't tell us a lot about them

also 👀👀 say you have original stuff in mind?????? i would love love love love love to know more about that!! you're getting pretty darn good at worldbuilding and ambiance. better with each update now that you're trying out this AU thing. it would be infinitely interesting to see what you come up with when working with your own stuff only

anyway what i mean is. even though I don't quite believe in Published Books on this day and age, please know that your writing is definitely good enough for the editorial market (even more so now that those dark romance things are going mainstream and a lot of them read like the stuff 12yos post on wattpad. what tf is the deal with that? but I digress. out of those circles your work is still definitely good enough) it's legit like Good Work, even if the tiny mean bully whispering in your ear disagrees. it's good realism. good introspection. good porn and also good narrative and great junction of those. it's lovely seeing how far you've come in so little time and we're excited to see you reach new heights in the future (because you will, with absolute certainty, unless you stop. but i don't think you could really stop yourself at this point lmao)

and please know that achieving that level of quality with no help or instruction or training in so little time is a grand fucking accomplishment

point is: Who Care? We Care (even if we're not an enormous audience)(...yet?). and not just because it's cod

it's def a nice compliment to get thank u 🙏💖

and so is you reading my stuff without caring much for cod! though i wouldn't be able to write this much about them without (clearly) being completely insane about Them and the basis the games laid (haha laid) because without them i'd be nowhere at all, these characters are so. well they clearly took over my brain lol, though i worry a Lot about them being ooc when i write them 💀

i actually feel like my guys are so barebones and one dimensional rip, which is fine since i mostly created them as little more than a joke and they're just being used as set dressing, so that means a lot 🙏

my Main story is this sprawling urban fantasy thing, which if i ever did write it would need serious adjustments since it's. old and not aged very well. the gist of it was the main character (30 year old barista) has Visions, cue road trip with his bestie (ex bf from high school that he reconnected with years later) to figure out The Deal after they suddenly get much worse. it's about that on the surface, and below about dealing with missed chances and not living up to ur potential. it sounds stupid but i've been Thinking about it since i was like 14 so cringe is to be expected lol

lsklhkjhffghst yeah no offense to them but despite this fic being what it i i wouldn't really want to fall into that category even if that sound like i think i'm better than them (i'm not it's just not my thing. or i guess it is and i just have a superiority complex. anyway) um thank you once again 🥺i def feel like i haven't improved a lot but you're dead on about not being able to stop myself anyway lmao

idk why you're being this nice to me but 💖💖💖

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

hey can u tell me abt ball point pen history

OH BOY DO I EVER!!!

The first patent for ballpoint pens was granted in 1888. Specifically on the 30th of October, to one John J Loud. It was supposed to be able to write on coarser surfaces that a fountain pen could not.

However, this very first version of a ballpoint pen sucked balls. It was not a design that could not write on paper. At all. Also, the ink tended to either leak (in summer) or freeze (in winter) Mind, I only have one specific source on this model right now but. There's a reason they were yet to be used for a long time. Over the next couple decades, a few people tried to chime in with suggestions for improvement but Loud kept a tight wrap on those patents.

No profit was made from Loud's original version of a ballpoint pen. But, you know, technically it still existed.

Now, early 20th century. Enter László Biró, a newspaper editor who was frustrated about all the smudging ink from fountain pens and his dentist brother-with-chemical-knowledge György. Biró (already seeing the resemblance to some slang here) watched newspapers being printed and dry very, very quickly and went "actually, You Know What".

What they figured out was that to use ink that dries fast in a pen, you need a pen that prevents the ink from drying fast inside of said pen. Therefore, they spent Quite A While figuring out a mechanism to allow inkflow while preventing it from drying and clogging up inside. 1938, they filed for a British patent.

1941, the Biró brothers left Hungary due to its support of Hitler (based) and eventually settled in Argentina, where they founded/developed a new brand of ballpoint pens with their friend Juan Jorge Meyne and filed a new, better patent in 1943.

Now this is where things get messy and my sources differ sliiightly but considerably enough to be confusing.

One the one hand, you have two companies, Eversharp Co and Eberhard Faber Co teaming up to license this Birome pen in the USA.

Around the same time, a bit later, some American fuckhead, also known as Milton Reynolds gets a hold of a Biró pen and gets a whiff of sales money immediately. He goes back to the US and starts his own company. This is Absolutely Not A Copyright Infringement since he's selling an altered copy only loosely based on those Birome pens. Definitely. Absolutely.

I mean, to be fair, it was in fact different enough to count as its own brand. And it skipped and leaked and did not live up to user expectations. But neither did Eversharp/Faber's pens, and both companies were constantly caught up in their beef that both companies went down like a lead balloon.

Eventually, Parker Pens got out the first proper design that, you know, actually worked as intended (and was, I think, actually licensed to Birome pens), and a little later Bich, then shortened to Bic, made a design that actually offered quite some precision. This was around the 1940s/1950s when ballpoint pens now finally, actually, permanently came in use (Bic around the 60s I believe) and I love them.

Keep in mind, though, I only used three sources, one of those Wikipedia, and picked through slight contradictions to figure out what makes sense and is the most likely, so take this with a grain of salt.

For the initial purposes of my research, however, this was more than sufficient. (I needed to know if I could have a character in the 30s click a pen. Since they were still pretty much not in use back then, she got to twirl a pencil instead. It was one tiny sentence.)

Thank you for asking! It's my favourite piece of niche knowledge to whip out at random and the only one I can support with dates and names, though I did have to read up on my bookmarked pages. I am waiting for the day when I finally play powerpoint karaoke and get the topic of ballpoint pens. Please let this happen, it would be so funny. Uno uno (<- prayer of my friend group).

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers CHAOS LINEAGE ー Subaru [05]

ー The scene starts in the kitchen of the Violet Manor

*Cling*

Yui: I think we’ve pretty much done washing the dishes?

Azusa: Right...Now we just have to dry them...and put them away after draining the sink...

Laito: We can do that later, right? Phew, we’re finally done.

Kou: I feel as if I worked way harder than usual today.

Actually, we probably shouldn’t have asked Eve to help us with the dishes as well.

Yui: No. I wanted to help to show how happy today made me.

Thank you so much for organizing a welcome party for me. 

Azusa: You’re welcome...

Yui: Ah, right. The little flower on my napkin ring was really cute too.

Azusa: Yeah. About that...Subaru-kun plucked that one.

Yui: Eh? Subaru-kun did!?

Laito: Exactly. I was shocked when he suddenly said ‘Here, put this on’. 

Kou: He really doesn’t do that often. I can’t believe he’d go pick a flower just to please someone else.

Yui: I see...

( Does that mean he did it especially for me? That would make me really happy... )

Azusa: He didn’t...say anything about it but...I’m pretty sure...He’s worried about you, Eve...

Yui: I see. Thank you for telling you.

I’ll thank him later, okay?

( Perhaps he is looking out for me way more than I thought. )

( ...I can’t believe that alone is enough to make me this overjoyed. )

( I saw his current self as incredibly scary and cold. )

( But if he’s still the same person at his core, then I probably shouldn’t make such assumptions. )

( I have to stop always thinking about the past Subaru-kun and actually try to face the person who is here with me right now... )

Kou: ...ve, Eve~?

Yui: Ah, I’m sorry. Did you say something?

Kou: Ehー? You weren’t listening to me? Ouch.

Yui: I spaced out for a sec. My bad.

Laito: Oh well, it’s fine.

Anyway, to get back on track, since we held a welcome party for you, we can expect a little something in return, can’t we?

Yui: Eh...?

Kou: Everything in this world comes at a price, remember? You’re a little naive if you think that a simple ‘thank you’ will be sufficient.

Yui: Kou-kun, Laito-kun...

Kou: You got to indulge to your heart’s content, so now it’s your turn to satisfy us.

Laito: Nfu~ I’m sure your blood will be delicious after feeding you all that nutritious food.

Carla described your blood as foul-tasting.

But I suppose this must have improved it a little? ...It’s smelling great as well.

Yui: Don’t tell me the real reason why you held that party...

Kou: Like I said, it’s all about give-and-take.

Laito: Yup, exactly! You had fun too, didn’t you?

Yui: ( That party wasn’t to welcome me at all, but to make my blood more delicious... )

( I did suspect that they had some kind of ulterior motive because I’ve Eve. )

( But being told straight-up like this comes as a huge shock. )

*Rustle*

Laito: Well then, are you ready?

Kou: Time to dig in~

Yui: No...!

Azusa: Guys, you can’t...I know Carla said that we can suck her blood but...

I believe you should treat her with care...She seems scared...

Kou: Ehー? Are you going to get in our way, Azusa-kun?

Laito: But she’ll protest either way. I don’t think there’s anything we can do about that.

Yui: ( Azusa-kun distracted them...? )

( I might be able to make a run for it now. But where do I go? )

Azusa: Eve, I think you might be safe with Subaru...

Carla asked to see him, so he might be over at Carla’s room...

Yui: Y-Yeah. Thanks, Azusa-kun!

ー Yui runs away to the hallway

*Thud*

Yui: ( Subaru-kun...! I have to hurry over to Subaru-kun...! )

Subaru: ...

Yui: Ah! There he is, Subaru-kun! Please, help me...!

Subaru: ...God, whatcha makin’ a fuss for?

Yui: ...Haah...I’m sorry for catching you off guard...

Laito-kun and Kou-kun attempted to suck my blood while we were cleaning up...

So I figured you’d help me out...

Subaru: Wha!? Those fuckers...Anyway, let’s go to my room.

Yui: T-Thanks.

ー The scene shifts to Subaru’s room

Subaru: God, didn’t I tell you? Little late now to realize those two are out for your blood.

Yet you were over there grinning happily because of some stupid little welcome party.

You’re being way too carefree when it’s obvious they just want to abuse your kindness.

Yui: ...Yeah, I guess you might be right.

I did assume that I was only given a warm welcome because I’m Eve but...

Even so, I was happy to have a party held for me. It felt like I was being accepted into this house...

Subaru: ...

Yui: ...You put a lovely little flower as decoration on my napkin ring, didn’t you?

When I saw that, I truly felt cared for.

Subaru: Is that so?

Yui: I heard that you’re the one who picked that flower for me.

I was so happy when I realized you did that for me. Thank you.

Subaru: No need to thank me, really.

Yui: But, you know. I don’t want to get deceived again, so can I confirm just one thing?

You didn’t give me that flower just to win my trust, right?

Subaru: Hah? Why do you think that?

Yui: I mean, I just thought it was rare for you to do such a thing for someone.

So if it’s not too much trouble, could you tell me why you did it?

Subaru: ...Ah.

( Did he simply want to suck my blood? That would make me really sad... )

( Or perhaps he really does remember me somewhere in the back of his mind? )

Subaru: Well, you know...It’s not what you think!

Yui: Subaru-kun...?

Subaru: I wouldn’t pull cheap tricks like that just to get to suck your blood. 

It’s never been my intention to deceive you. I guess you might not believe me when I say that though.

Selection

→ I believe you (♡)

Yui: That’s not true. I trust you on your word.

Subaru: Don’t you think you’re a little too nice for your own good? At least be a little suspicious.

Yui: ...I mean, it just doesn’t seem like you’re lying to me.

You’ve been in a bad mood this whole time because you were against the welcome party, right?

Did you realize that the others were trying to treat me to a nutritious feast to make my blood more delicious?

Subaru: ...No.

Yui: ( Judging by his reaction, he did... )

→ I want to believe you (🖤)

Yui: I do want to believe you.

Subaru: You want to, huh? In other words, you’re doubtful?

Yui: No! That’s not what I meant...

You’ve been in a bad mood for as far as I can remember...

Were you displeased by the welcome party because you knew that the others were only doing it to make my blood more delicious?

Subaru: ...Took you long enough to figure out, honestly.

Yui: ( Judging from his reaction, I’m sure that was the case... )

Yui: ...Thanks, Subaru-kun.

Subaru: I don’t think I did anythin’ you should thank me for?

Yui: Although it’s a shocker that the welcome party was but a facade to achieve their personal goals but...

I think that the flower you prepared for me wasn’t meant as some kind of scheme but just a genuine sign of you thinking about me...

Subaru: ...Che.

Don’t you think you’re lettin’ a trivial thing get to your head a lil’ too much?

Yui: You think so? But it truly made me happy.

Subaru: ...I sucked your blood against your will the other day too, remember?

I do...feel kinda bad about that.

Yui: Subaru-kun...

Subaru: I felt irritated back then after watching Carla suck your blood.

It’s not just Carla either. When I have to witness one of the other guys go after you or get their hands on you. 

I just get really upset for some kind of inexplicable reason.

I’ve felt like that this whole time. I don’t know why exactly either, but it pisses me off when others touch you.

Yui: Subaru-kun, that’s...

Subaru: I know that I’m makin’ it hard on you.

Yui: ...You’re not.

I mean, that just shows that you care for me, no?

( Even though he shouldn’t remember that we’re a couple, I guess he still has some feelings for me left deep inside his heart? )

( That’d make me so happy. )

Subaru: Why do you look so glad?

I’m tryin’ to tell you it’s that kind of behavior which makes it so easy to target you!

*Rustle*

*Thud*

On certain CGs, little black roses will appear on the screen. If you click on them, you get an extra line of dialogue.

“See? You can’t fight back now that I’ve got you pinned down, can you? I honestly wouldn’t mind sucking your blood until you pass out.”

“...Che! How come this anger inside of me won’t go away!? I’m not supposed to give a damn ‘bout you...So why!?”

Yui: S-Subaru-kun...!

Subaru: Listen, you really need to be more careful. Don’t just let guys have their way with you.

Just like this...’cause you’re a human and a woman on top of that, you can’t just easily shake us off once we’ve got hold of you, see?

Yui: Ah...

( I can feel his breath on my neck...! )

Subaru: I could easily suck your blood if I wanted to.

That thought terrifies you, doesn’t it?

Yui: ...No, it doesn’t.

Subaru: Hah? What...are you sayin’...?

Yui: I’m not scared if it’s you.

Subaru: Wha...?

Listen, you! Do I need to actually bite you before you understand!?

Yui: I mean, I genuinely do not feel scared.

Subaru: ...Then I’ll teach you a lesson. You can experience first-hand how scary I am...Hah, nnh.

*Rustle*

Yui: Ah...

( His fangs are sinking into my throat...! He’s sucking out my blood... )

Subaru: ...Nn, phew...Nnh.

Yui: ( ...But it really isn’t scary. )

( At first, I only experienced fear being here in this place. )

( But even if he sucks my blood hard-handedly. )

( I feel as if deep down, he actually cares about me and treats me with kindness. )

Subaru: ...Nn, nkuh...Nnh...Haah. How’s that, huh? Learnt your lesson?

Yui: No, I’m not scared at all... 

( If anything, it feels like a weight has been lifted off my heart, it’s enjoyable... )

( I guess I do love him after all... )

Hey, seems like I don’t mind having you suck my blood.

Subaru: Che...The fuck are you sayin’!? You really are a fool, aren’t you!?

You’re just givin’ in to your primal instincts ‘cause it feels good, no?

...So stop sayin’ that sorta stuff.

Yui: No, that’s not...

Subaru: ...Uu.

Yui: Eh? What’s wrong, Subaru-kun? 

Subaru: Aah, no. ...It’s nothin’.

Yui: Really? But you’re clutching your head...You don’t look so good. Don’t push yourself, okay?

*Rustle*

Subaru: ...

Yui: ( I figured he’d pull away as I instinctively moved closer but... )

( Seems like he’s allowing it. He’s burying his face in my chest as if he wants me to dote on him. )

Monologue

Subaru-kun surrendered himself to me.

I was so happy,

because it felt as if he trusted me.

Even though this may only last a moment,

it was almost as if we were back to being a couple.

May he please regain his memories,

so we can restore our past relationshipーー

With said wish harbored inside my heart,

I wrapped my arms around him.

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

[vtforpedro]

long life update - TWs in tags

It feels like it's been ages. I'm so exhausted and in a lot of physical pain. Going on two months of it being the worst it's been right after a couple of months of the best it's been. Chronic pain + grief + trying to get help from doctors who should have their licenses revoked + dealing with a shit relationship with my mom + a good, decades-long friendship ending + the ongoing disability process with the SSA + LAW FIRMS.

I'm so fucking tired. I don't remember if I updated that the appeals council decided not to review my case because the 'judge followed the law' except that he didn't. So, as it turns out, my original attorney (and he did not tell me this) before he left, wrote that if they denied me, it should go to federal district court.

I'm now working with a NY law firm to take my case to federal court because my current law firm believes it has merit, and I guess they do, too. That's how fucked the decision was, and I'm glad my initial reaction of bewilderment and anger was spot on lol

The good news is, it should only take another year! ._.

My neurologist is the worst doctor I have ever come across and I'm quite literally stuck with him with nowhere else to go. I wish him upon no one. I'm so tired of calling the SSA, getting documents to them, signing things for law firms, contacting law firms, getting no responses, and contacting them all over and over again. I am in incredible physical pain, like this actively makes my neuro stuff worse. Everything makes it worse. I have autonomic testing in a few days, and idk if I'll get through it b/c I have to stop the meds that keep me out of the ER two days prior, and it scares me.

My relationship with my mom is fractured and I don't feel like family therapy is actually helping. I had to end a friendship with someone I love and care very much about but who was growing too comfortable mistreating me and I was giving them too many passes 😞 I've known them for the better part of two decades.

It's been over seven months since my cat Isis died. I don't know how. It feels like she was here just yesterday. Yet, all the nights I've sat and talked to her and wept are all too real. I miss her more than I can say. She was my soul cat. I keep thinking about tomorrow and how she'd be so nosy getting into EVERYthing when gifts are opened at Christmas. Having to stop her, move her, laugh because she was just so n o s y and it was hilarious. And she's not gonna be here for that ever again.

I'm having a really fucking hard time tonight. It's just hitting me how god-awful this year has been and how I have a bad week to look forward to before even getting to the new year lmao I have to stop taking so many of my medications 48hrs before 1.5-2hrs of testing to see if we can find out Yet Another Thing Wrong With Me but knowing my luck it'll be 'no findings' and the mystery of why my core body temp plummets to 93.9 in the blink of an eye won't be solved until I have suffered juuuuust enough.

It never ends. Never. I want to give up. I'm so tired of doing this. I don't want to anymore. It never. fucking. ends.

I absolutely cannot say it's all been bad, though. I've met incredible, warm, welcoming, giving, kind people this year. Y'all have helped me more than you know and I'm so so so lucky to be able to call you my friends. This year has sucked for so many of us, but I want to say I'm proud of you, and I love you all very much.

My fic is gonna be printed in a hardcover zine early next year. I participated in a Big Bang for the first time and that'll also go out early next year. I'm hosting a tiny event in my tiny fandom server that I'm super excited about. I have a raffle prize to write (bagginshield !!!! SO EXCITED to revisit the og otp) and a Valentine's gift to write for another fandom.

I posted 401,000 words this year and wrote many more unfinished wips, plus a long one (90k) that I am very invested in finishing.

I painted and drew so much this year. I improved a lot, too! I got a couple of portraits printed from inprnt to see how they looked, and it was MY art, and they were GORGEOUS. I thought I would hate seeing my art professionally printed, but no! I almost cried. They looked so lovely.

My cat Lilly had health issues almost immediately following Isis's passing, but she is doing so well right now. She's blossomed into another cat, and while she's not my constant companion, she is with me so much more than she used to be. When she walks onto my desk I am to stop everything and hold her like baby in my arms until she decides that's enough (or I really need to move) lmaaao she's such a goober. My heart cat. <3

I'm not doing well right now--my MH is bad. Especially tonight. But it felt good to write the good things.

I'm sorry for my lack of replies and kinda disappearing. I'm running on fumes. I hope next year will bring physical relief so emotional relief can happen.

For those of you facing difficulties of any kind, I am holding your hand in spirit.

[comorbidityqueen]

Over a year and a half ago i was lucky enough to be part of an upper spasticity trial to have 5 weeks of intense hand therapy every weekday for 2-3 hours a day. it helped my arm, shoulder, and wrist. I saw immense improvements and actually had the best ever results recorded from the study at that time.

I think back and think to myself "it didn't work". I couldn't move my fingers by the end, and what is wrong with me. I had feelings of shame, guilt and hated myself for trying so hard and not getting the results i wanted.

I had my physiotherapist tell me recently that the problem wasn't in the joint, limb, ect itself, it was in my brain. Not long after that session I had my new psychologist tell me that my brain injury was a trauma in itself. two things i couldn't wrap my head around, because i thought the problem was with me and i just wasn't trying hard enough over the last 18 years to erase this huge part of me that i hated about myself.

Internalised ableism is something that has defined much of my life, and i didn't cause it, i was taught it. Ableism is defined as discrimination against disabled people and/or having a favour for able-bodied people. Internalised ableism is when you're disabled and have that belief about yourself. A short time after my stroke i went back to school a few days a week in a wheelchair where i was relentless bullied for being disabled. This was also a pivotal point in my life when self worth was being developed at the start of adolescence. It was taken away from me because i had the chance to form it like others my age. I was taught to hate myself and struggled coming to terms with what had happened to me, and i still do. I still whole heartedly believe that im living proof bullying can kill you; because it almost did. I spent over a decade of my life struggling with self harm, substance abuse and countless suicide attempts after that trauma, and now in recovery from drugs and alcohol, i can understand just how much that time of my life impacted me.

It's believed that damage to the basal ganglia in stroke victims can be reversed with neuroplascisity (rewiring your brain), yet i have to come to terms with the fact that wasn't a reality for me to a full extent. I am grateful to be able to walk without assistance (although my spatial awareness and coordination is poor), i can talk (with some disordered speech when fatigued and chronic dysphagia), and have somehow perfect vision aside from occasional nystagmus. I have dystonia, spascisity and high tone in my left arm/hand, and despite working endlessly hard on it, remains rigid and paralysed. I have myoclonic seizures on a daily basis and struggle to do some daily tasks, i do everything on my own yet do them slowly. I am very grateful to have a supportive family who cook for me, and ndis services to access the community. I am grateful for the progress i have made and one day hope to understand why this happened to me much like others with lifelong disabilities. After decades of being on pharmaceuticals i am so grateful to be living a holistic life full of amazing natural remedies that help me. This includes castor oil, magnesium oil, a clean diet and of course physiotherapy stretches and exercise.

I know like anyone that has suffered significant trauma in their lives, forging meaning and identity can be hard. Despite every obstacle i have come across in life i still work hard on my daily mobility. I hope one day to show others living with brain injuries and trauma that they too can have meaningful, impactful lives.

[firstkanaphans]

hii! i'm a big fan of your fanfics, and as an aspiring writer myself, sometimes I feel sad 'cause I know and feel like I won't ever be as good as you are ☹️ I know I shouldn't compare myself, and I'm trying to get better at it, so I would genuinely like to ask, are there any tips you'd give to authors out there trying to improve? either their writing skills, plot ideas, planning and stuff. thank you, either way, love you! can't wait for your next work ❣️

So, the first thing I want to say is that I have been writing for a long time. I published my first fanfic when I was 12 years old and I’m 31 now, so I’ve been actively writing for the past 19 years (!!!) with almost no break. The way someone explained it to me once was to look at your years writing like levels in a video game. I’m currently at level 19. If you’ve been writing for ten years, you’re at level 10 and it’s certainly not fair to compare yourself to me because the only thing that’s truly going to make you a better writer is to write.

I’m assuming since you called yourself an “aspiring writer” that your eventual goal is publication, so I’ll gear my recommendations towards that. Fanfiction is a completely different animal, but a lot of these tips are applicable to both. The biggest difference is that there’s a lot more freedom in fanfiction. You can write what you want without worrying about three-act structures and you don’t have to invest any work in making people care about the characters because they already do. It is worth noting, however, that if you write, you’re already a writer. 

First, I highly recommend that you read “Save the Cat” by Blake Snyder. It changed my life and I’m not even kidding. It’s an absolutely fantastic book on writing and although it’s geared towards screenwriting instead of novels, everything is still applicable. (There’s actually a newer version called Save the Cat Writes a Novel, but I’ve never actually read that one so I don’t know if it’s as good.) He goes over how to plot a story and also how to write likable characters, which is surprisingly one of the hardest parts of writing original fiction.

The second biggest tip I can give you is to let yourself write badly. Editing is easier than writing. The most important thing is to get words down on the page. You would not believe how bad my first drafts are—and that’s not just me being coy. Honestly, the next time I sit down to write a fanfic, I might save my first draft for anyone who’s interested to read because my first drafts are always bad. Like legitimately. There’s a lot of freedom in letting yourself fail and your writing will turn out better for it.

I would also recommend getting a professional critique if you are able to because you’re never truly going to know what it is you need to improve upon unless someone tells you. Signing up for a writing retreat is a great way to do this or you can look for online critiquing services. I’ve gotten several chapter critiques from Scribbler in the past and I found them very helpful.

But truly, the most important thing is to just have fun. I heard Lin-Manuel Miranda talking about writing Hamilton once and he said that what he constantly kept asking himself was, “If no one else ever sees this, will writing it still have been worth it?” And for him, it was. That’s the kind of energy I try to write with. I write what I want when I want and if I find myself struggling to write a scene because it’s boring, I do something to make it not boring instead. Change things up! Have fun! Because otherwise, what’s the point?

About six years ago, a friend of mine said virtually the same thing you did in this ask: “I’ll never be as good as you.” She had been writing for less than a year at the time. We lost touch when I left fandom to pursue original fiction, but when I came back last year, I looked her up again. She has a Tumblr ficlet pinned at the top of her page with 10K+ notes. I could never.

So don’t count yourself out yet. Just keep writing.