#didnt sleep at all last night maybe 2 hrs at most

[phoenix-before-the-flame]

My mum is coming over to help me carry my dog to the vet.

[vergilboyfriend]

You should do all of them questions and 90 is true

I love you!!!!

1. Favorite instrument?

I work at a music store u can’t just ask me this. When my coworkers play it’s the saxophone or the flute, when the boys in the repair shop are testing repairs and they harmonize with each other or try to outplay one another it’s the bassoon or the trombone or whatever they’re fixing at the moment. When I hear 🎺 give his lesson on Wednesday afternoons it’s the trumpet, and when I think about middle school it’s the clarinet, the flute, the French horn. When I hear the nutcracker pas des deux is the oboe and when I hear edith piaf l’accordeoniste it’s the remarkable human voice. Really my favorite instrument is all of them, it just depends.

2. Favorite fic trope? Mutual pining 🥺

3. Sport you played for the longest amount of time? LMAO I wasn’t a sporty kid but I did ballet

4. Shoe size? 10-11

5. Most recent (good) dream? Uhh I had a dream last night about my coworker 🎹 it wasn’t bad though I can’t really remember what it was about

6. Last person in your DMs? smugg

7. Can you do a handstand? Nooo nooo lmaoo nooooo

8. Unpopular food opinion I don’t like oranges or red meat

9. Conspiracy you believe in? There’s some kind of weird weather dome in my hometown around the military base that makes most storms pass around us

10. Is your hair its natural color/style? Most of it is I dyed the bottom layer of my hair tho so it’s blonde rn

11. state a useless fact all that’s coming to mind is outright lies rn hold on. The inventor of pringles is buried in a pringles can that’s so fucking nasty omg

12. most interesting gossip you’ve heard? Idk I don’t really care for gossip uhhhh have u heard tho rin dippindogs is a huge gay hah she uhh she like men AND women lmao gaaay gaaaay

13. Middle name? Carolyn

14. Sexuality? Bisexual

15. Amount of sleep you got last night? Idk actually I think like 9-10 hrs tho I slept in until 11

16. Opinion on ice cream cake? Tasty!!!

17. Opinion on (cup)cake frosting? It’s depends buttercream is usually too sweet for me in large amounts so I prefer whipped cream frosting

18. Last board game you played? Idk??? We played hunt a killer tho last Thursday me n my family I guess that counts kinda

19. Project you want to start? I need ideas first baby

20. Project you’re working on right now? HAHAHAHAHAHA

21. TV show you’re watching? nothing rn I just rewatch bojack a lot if I watch anything

22. Last movie you watched? Lego batman I think

23. Ever left anon hate? Not legit hate

24. Ever left anon love? Yes all the time. Sometimes to strangers it’s my favorite thing to do

25. Best Disney movie? The princess and the frog

26. Best Pixar movie? Soul or Up I can’t decide

27. Best Star Wars? Um. Empire strikes back

28. Last thing you consumed? Fuit gumy

29. NoTP? Idk I don’t really hate ships unless they’re gross like pedophilic gross

30. story behind your (nick)name? When I was a fetus my great grandfather had a dream that my name should be Carolyn Marie but my parents were huge dweebs so they named me Marina after the actress of Deanna Troi in Star Trek. Idk about my nickname ive just always been Rina/Rin as long as I can remember

31. ice cream order? Lately it’s lemon sorbetto I know it’s SO high in sugar but I love it

32. describe your blog in <5 words I love you

33. how many blogs do you follow? 436

34. Describe your voice it depends usually I sound like a sick child but my customer service voice is really pleasant

35. Describe your smile it’s cute :)

36. What is the place you live known for? LMAOOO LMAO we have a military base nearby and like. I could go on abt that one but also like. There’s a lot of gang violence and a lot of the other consequences of poverty. People from the cities around us see us as “””ghetto””” or violent but it’s just. It’s more than that it’s always more than that. And idk what else there’s nothing really particularly special about this town except that we’re all here and not anywhere else

37. What is the place you’re originally from known for? (if they’re different)

38. pronouns? she/any idc

39. Languages you speak? English

40. first friend you made through tumblr? Idk. I probably don’t talk to them anymore :(

41. Person on tumblr you know in real life? my brother

42. First dog breed you think of shih tzu I have 2 next to me rn

43. room wall color? Purble!!!! The paint color is called grape juice that’s why I picked it!!!

44. Song that’s stuck in your head right now? It’s tricky to rock a rhyme to rock a rhyme that’s right on time it’s trickyyyyy

45. Favorite number? 5, 34

46. Color you associate with your name? Red

47. Favorite jolly rancher flavor?watermelon

48. Pets? 2 dogs rocket and groot and 4 cats loki danni who r from the same litter and we raised from kittens, miss kitty who we adopted from a shelter after my boy blue moon passed away and ben (his real name is Kylo Ren thanks to my mom but I refuse to call him that) he is my little baby and he has 7 toes on his front paws

49. Collections? Hot wheels

50. Character outside of your fandom you’d marry? Girl what lmaooo idk

51. Character outside of your fandom you’d kill? That’s mean :(

52. Have you met any celebrities? NO thank god id have to kill on sight

53. Favorite time period in history? Itslian Renaissance & Romantic Era

54. What time is it right now? 2:35 am oops

55. History or future? Future but like . A good one. Or prehistory

56. Space or ocean? Space

57. Fears? Abandonment

58. Command + v and post. It’s this list of questions u don’t want that

59. Favorite season? Spring

60. Describe your aesthetic. Messy just a mess, neon and old buildings and things, antiques, countryside if there weren’t so many trump pence flags still lmaoo give uppp give up, nature just al of nature and space and places humans can’t touch and places they used to touch but can’t anymore

61. MBTI? Infp but I haven’t taken it in a few years

62. What’s your relationship with your family like? Normal.

63. “Biggest fan” in your tumblr activity? I’m in mobile hold on acc to tumblr it’s akky

64. Favorite musical? Sweeney todd

65. Comfort book? Idk how to read 💔💔💔 wuthering heights tho

66. Comfort movie? Whisper of the heart

67. OTP? Girl idk

68. BroTP? Joey and Tristan yugioh

69. AUs or canon compliant? Canon ig idk

70. Opinion on the person who’s sending the ask? It’s an anon!! But I love them

71. FMK + 3 characters anon didnt leave any characters and I was going to say something very bad but I won’t

72. Dream date? I’ve wanted to do this for a while but ideally it would be after we’d been together a while maybe even engaged or whatever, I wanna go to like a Home Depot or a furniture store and pretend to be married and looking for house paints and furniture and plan what our home is going to look like I wanna do that so bad. But idk for a first/early relationship date i really want to go to the zilker botanical garden it’s one of my favorite places, we could also go to the natural gardener which is a plant nursery in Austin I really love it there too and it’s not that far from zilker.

73. Relationship status? Single

74. Ever dyed your hair? Do you plan to? Yes and perhaps. Maybe

75. Dream job/career? Idk anymore I used to have big girl goals and I haven’t had any in a while. But when I was younger I wanted to be a game warden

76. Favorite band/singer? Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky

77. Something that makes you soft/that you find adorable? My cats

78. The first thing you would do if you won the lottery? Buy a house

79. Are you superstitious? Yes

80. Character you project onto? Shizuku tsukishima

81. Fictional character you’ve had a crush on? Vergil devil may cry. Forever husband

82. Celebrity crush? LMAO

83. Person on here you’d date? my mutuals

84. Person on here you’d marry? 🥺 my mutuals

85. Person on here you’d throw into the void? Smugg

86. Other social media you have? I’ve got a photography insta that I barely use and a Twitter that’s just nintendo switch screenies that’s it

87. Finish the sentence: Due to personal reasons, ___________i will be passing away

88. Bad habit? I find it rlly hard to say no or like to say when and why I’m upset I don’t feel like for the latter I don’t feel like I should bring something that’s upsetting me up because I know I’ll get over it on my own and I don’t really trust myself to be upset about rational things. Idk I’m working on it

89. Three things you like about yourself? I’m hot, I’m kind, I’m resilient

90. Ily and you deserve the world I love you!!!!! YOU deserve it too!!!

[thestuckylibrary]

Group Ask 166

What is a group ask?

Previous Group Asks

AO3 Search Tutorial

Please send us an ask stating which group ask and which person you are replying to. Thank you so much in advance!

Anon 1 said: (past rape/noncon)

Hi! I'm looking for a fic in which Bucky hides his period from the team (once he is with the avengers) because Pierce made him believe that it meant he had lost a baby. There's at least mention of past rape and I remember reading it on ao3, but I haven't been able to find it -Thank you in advance for your help and making this archive!

Anon 2 said:

do you know the fic where steve got the serum but his body build didnt change and he never went down in the ice but he was also aging very slowly and that’s how he made it in the modern world. when he met bucky again, he prevented the events of cw from happening by telling tony about what really happened with his parents and stuff

darkphoenixrisingwrites said:

Hi, I am looking for a Stucky fic on Ao3. Bucky was captured and put into a safe house with Steve. Hr isn't allowed to leave the and isn't talking to Steve at first because he doesn't remember him. A government guy pays them regular visits. A female therapist comes to visit Bucky too. Nat and Sam were guests in the house. Steve manages to get Bucky to talk. Soon Bucky begins to remember stuff. He is sure that his memory of kissing Steve is real but Steve denies it. Steve orders stuff for the house via chat with some guy from the government. Thomas or so. Later Steve and Bucky sleep with each other and get almost caught by that government guy during a surprise visit. Nat, during one of her visits, figures out what's going on between them. If I remember correctly Bucky is on some kind if trial phase. If he behaves and if the therapist declares him not a threat, then he is free to go. If he breaks a rule he'll be tried for his crimes as the WS.

pendragonstar and dragonflybeach sent in We’ll Be Okay Someday* by arthurmarston (WIP | 105,982 | E) *implied/referenced rape/noncon, implied/referenced torture

Anon 3 said:

hi, hello, there’s a fic I’ve been looking for forever and I can’t seem to find... I don’t remember most of the details, but bucky was a merman. His tail was red and he had human legs as long as he didn’t touch any water? I think it was set in the war and it was very angsty. I remember a scene in which they’re being attacked and Bucky jumps off a cliff and into water, turns, and kills their enemies (hydra??)

herkharvey sent in Sharp Teeth and Bird Bones* by Shaish, Stringlish (restricted, complete | 32662 & E) *graphic violence 

musicforlife2000-blog said:

looked everywhere and I can't find this fic, its about Steve being able to teleport, and Peggy has kids with Gabe, and they find Bucky but he doesn't remember himself but makes the decision to trust Steve in the hospital when Steve promises him revenge on hydra their relationship develops while Bucky remembers more, and then something about Steve being able to teleport people in some void and depending on good or bad they see some awful stuff and at the end Becca and Bucky find Steve on a beach

ice-whisper, dragonflybeach, princessniitza, whyaretheycalledpancakes and Anon sent in cascades.* by orange_crushed (complete | 152,138 | M) *graphic violence

Anon 4 said:

Hi! Sorry this is a bit vague but i was looking for this fic about bucky's recovery where steve does a painting of bucky that becomes famous (there was a lot about how the painting evoked a sense of distance between the viewer and the subject and i think rothko was mentioned?) and later on he does another painting of bucky that shows how far they've come and how they're in a better place now? Thank you!! :)

amazonrhinos sent in Casual Encounters by MoreThanSlightly (cadignan) (complete | 66,593 | E)

Anon 5 said:

Hi! I've been going crazy looking for a fic and thought I'd try my luck here. I remember it was a journal/book written by one of the howling commandos, showing Steve and Bucky from an outsiders pov in the war. Bucky was kept out of history, he was never referred to by name and in the fic the nazis had a nickname for him that had something to do with skull, and parts of bucky's character was the 'bear jew' from inglorious bastards.

Anon sent in Jacob (I Have Loved) by Lasgalendil (restricted, WIP | 109,472| M) *graphic violence, rape/noncon, major character death

whyaretheycalledpancakes sent in The Night War: 60th Anniversary Edition* by praximeter (Zimario) (complete | 109,105 | T ) */others or Brothers by bloodbuzzedohio (complete | 49,821 | E)

Anon 6 said:

Hi, ages ago I read a fic that was Steve and Bucky pre-war, it was basically a PWP where Bucky and Steve would have sex, but the whole tone was kinda: Bucky isn't looking Steve in the eyes, so he can pretend he's a dame, lots of denial, etc., but at the end, Bucky is being all gentle to Steve and says something like "I don't want to pretend you're a dame anymore" to Steve. I searched so much for that fic, so i was hoping that maybe someone could help? :)

Anon 7 said:

I was reading this very long post WWII AU fic, but didn’t bookmark it. Can you help me find it? Steve fought WWII, but in Pacific. Arnie died in Guadalcanal. Peggy was nurse. Steve got blue ticked. Bucky is sixteenish twink and met S in gay bar. S has storage chest and B finds sketchbooks there. S+B move together to 2 bedroom apartment. S feels guilty for making B live in shadows as a gay man. 

herkharvey, princessniitza and allegra-dreams sent in Civilian* by alby_mangroves, CoraRochester (complete | 71,880 | E) *underage

trash-bih said:

Hi... I’m looking for a fic where Steve and Bucky are in Paris during/after the war and it starts off with them at like a party. Steve and Bucky are talking to different women. The woman talking to Steve knew he is in love with Bucky and pulls him off to the side to speak with him. She introduces Steve to her girlfriend. The women, Steve, and Bucky then leave for a hotel. At the hotel, Steve blindfolds Bucky but inadvertently triggers Bucky’s PTSD from his captivity/experimentation at Azzano.

Anon 8 said:

i've sent this ask before, but i think it got lost among the others. i'm looking for an abo fic, where bucky is an alpha and steve is an omega. it's in the 1940s. bucky goes to war and comes back from it alive. steve doesn't get the serum, so it's a pre-serum one. they have bunch of kids, i think it was around 7-8 (might be even more). they move somewhere else and bucky starts working as a mechanic with the romanoffs. thank you!!!

currently-recharging sent in Like Rahab* by moonythejedi394 (complete | 131,789| E) *rape/noncon

Anon 9 said:

Thanks for this blog! I'm looking for a fit that's an AU where they are both agents and Bucky gets kidnapped and Steve finds him by listening to background noise recording. Also he helps buck recover. Thanks again!

scriggle-scraggle sent in When the Sun Sets on Dark Silhouettes by caughtinanocean (oneshot | 8,283 | T)

Anon 10 said:

can you help me find this fic?? basically bucky goes to steve's house in the middle of the night and talks about how he was fucked by someone else at a party but he wasn't as good, so he has steve fuck him instead, but then they become boyfriends, and i remember that bucky had this like 'sweet space' where he basically drops really hard. thank you so much!!

theheartofmaria sent in No One Else by howdoyousleep (complete | 12,577 | E)

Anon 11 said:

hi im really desperate to find this fic im wondering if you could help me? basically its post tws and buckys running from steve and sam, but he goes to the museum’s exhibit on him and steals a boys phone in the bathroom to research himself more before returning the phone. steve catches up to him but bucky knocks him out to escape before eventually going to the tower with him and in the end he dyes his hair blue. does this ring any bells? thank uuuuu

Anon 12 said:

I'm looking for this fic where Steve&Bucky were fucking, but Bucky always had his mask on and refused to tell Steve his name. Steve got sick or smthn and Bucky came to visit him in the hospital and they fucked and I think Steve begged either for Bucky's name or for him to take off the mask? I think Bucky was a temporary avenger bc someone was sick maybe?? So they fuck for the last time bc Bucky's contract is up and so he tells Steve who he really is. Can anyone help me? Thanks!

allegra-dreams and Anon sent in a blade with no handle by ftmsteverogers (oneshot | 13,351 | E)

amazonrhinos sent in Happy Accidents by BetteNoire (WeAreWolves) (restricted, complete | 29,777 | E)

[lametooru]

tag games! 

im always so slow to do these so heres a bunch of them bc they are super fun to do and i love learning things about my mutuals , thanks to everyone who’s tagged me ❤

20 Qs Tag

tagged by @hwangsrenjun 

rules: answer 20 questions, then tag 20 bloggers you want to get to know better

name: kingkanoke

nicknames: tan

height: 5′5

orientation: het

nationality: british/thai

favorite season: autumn !!!! 

favorite flower: forget-me-nots they’re so pretty 

favorite scent: fresh laundry soOOSOO good

favorite color/s: like any shade of blue 

favorite animal: cheetahs and dolphins 

coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: ice coffee + tea

average sleep hours: i used to be able to run on 5/6 hrs but apparently now i need like 7/8

dog or cat person: love both but if i had to choose ... doggies

favorite fictional character(s): literally so fucking many but rn im brainwashed by marvel so : thor, peter, steve my BEST boys 

number of blankets you sleep with: 1

dream trip: korea, jpn, cali, nyc, greece, italy, bali, new zealand, australia lmao like everywhere

blog created: 2012 im a veteran on here kiddos ive seen the rise and falls of whole civilisations 

number of followers: more than i thought i would get tbf

random fact: i would chose death over eating celery like honestly even the smell alone idk it really urks me 

get to know me ok

Rules: Answer 30 questions and then tag 20 blogs you’d like to know better

Tagged by:@kkimingyu

nicknames: tan

gender: female

zodiac: pisces !!! wheres all my emo fish people at c;

height: 5′4/5 like im in between there 

age: 19 ohymgod im so old im not even gunna be a teen anymore next yr thats goss :(

time: 10:04pm

favorite bands/artists: hmmm im gunna answer outside kpop ... i listen to panic! at the disco, fall out boy, rihanna, britney spears lmao im so basic i know aksjhfasl i also have a lot of misc songs that i really like so my music taste is just all over the place

song stuck in my head: its legit just the the theme from parks and recs bc im watching it rn 

last movie I saw: it was literally black butler book of murder lmafooooooooo ffs can my weeb ass tone it down pls

last thing I googled: ‘why am i sneezing so much’ 

other blogs: @fyvoltronld (100% vld stuff) and my newly made art blog @tnkisu

do I get asks: i used to get quite a lot of requests when i was an anime blog lool

why I chose my username: bc mingyu is uwu :3

following: 210

the average amount of sleep: 7 ish

lucky no: 3 bc i was born on 3rd march 

what am I wearing: grey joggers and over sized tee lol see me at the next fashion week pls

dream job: illustrator / graphic designer in the entertainment industry somwhere

dream trip: okaay lol here we go: italy esp positano!!, california, nyc, hawaii, new zealand, japan, korea, hong kong, canada dream big i guess

favorite food: literally craving roast duck n rice so much rn also ice cream if that counts! and noodles mmMMMMmmmm

instruments: i used to play the trumpet but i quit when i was like 13

sports: i played volleyball for almost 2 yrs but stopped bc uni and i used to cycle loads too (and yes its bc of anime lmao whats new)

hair color: dark brown, blackish like ur normal asian hair

eye color: matches my hair im so boring oof

most iconic song: um if u seek amy by miss britney spears? she didnt have to snap that hard

languages: english and like 40% of thai lol im losing it all 

random fact: i LOVE dressing gowns if im not outside im probably wearing one, even in the summer theyre just so comfy i own 3

describe urself as aesthetic things ! : the buzz of a busy restaurant, 3am talks with your friends, going into the city at night and being surrounded by lights, the warmth of the sun hitting your skin, your favourite people smiling at you, reading a book on a cloudy day, that one annoying itch you can’t quite seem to scratch 

˗ˏˋ 11 question tag ˊˎ˗

thank you for tagging me @jisoostar & @gyuofficial

rules: tag some people you would like to get to know better.

how much sleep did you get last night? don’t lie to me.

9 i think.. its the summer holidays so i sleep for a looooooong time

do you use any lip balm or lip tint? what are you using?

lip balm all the way aint no time for ashy lips lol i use the cherry carmex lip balm  

tell me about your guilty pleasure!

hmm maybe those slice of life animes that r just over the top, a bit dumb and funny with no serious plot lines or anything 

what’s your favorite subject at school and why?

art bc i was shit at everything else ahaha....

pick 5 idols to be your classmates!

oKAy : kevin (the boyz), key (shinee), hoshi (svt) , mingyu (svt), hyungwon (monsta x) 

experience the hunger games or the purge?

the purge bc i live in the most eventual village in england  

tell me your favorite food without saying what it is. describe it.

mmmmmm....a meat from an animal with wings paired with white grains from a plant and a hot liquid on the side (this makes it sound gross aslfjaslkf)

what language do you have an interest in learning?

spanish, mandarin, korean, italian too mayb

you found a magic lamp and the genie will grant you three wishes. what do you have in mind? please, don’t ask for more wishes.

the ability to draw whatever i wanted to the way i envisioned it in my head (correct proportions, depth of view, shadows vs highlights etc) 

to be able to be fluent in all languages i wanted including reading & writing

have flawless skin for the rest of my life 

pick three of your favorite cuisines!

not being biased but thai is my number 1 lolololol

japanese 

chinese esp dim sum 

hey, the last question is a PSA. you’re precious and i love you. reply with: “i’m precious and i love me too”.

getting on my last uwus smh :(  thank u, im precious and i love me too ~

tagging: @kkimingyu @cafewoozi  @jeongahn @wonhuis  @himeaegyo @jeong-hanie​ @jisoostar​ @bbymarklee @ilxu (feel free to do them all, one or non ^^) 

[splattershotsundae]

Ink is Thicker Than Water --- Chapter 5: I give it a 10

Toda spent most of his afternoon wishing he felt well enough to pace. Finding out that Orvokki was still alive was no small news. She was a cruel woman, and visions of what she was like, and what she thought like still stuck with him and plagued his sleep. Another thing to worry about was Simon… They’d logged off in a huff, and he was genuinely worried, both about how they were and about… how they really thought about him.

A motion from his skope caught his attention and he took a sharp breath. Simon was back online.

T: hey

S: Hey.

T: I'm sorry about earlier. i was freaking out bout Orvokki, and I forgot and gt a little carried away. T: we decided we still arent going to do anyhting right now.

S: ... Ok.

T: ... u doing ok...?

Toda sighed a little after he sent it. He should just ask them... He was probably freaking out over nothing. Simon had told Jill that she was strong, in and out of battle, hadn't they? And hadn't they told him that they thought Rank was just a letter and a number, before they played Rainmaker? ... But when they lost at Blackbelly, they took that pretty hard... He'd thought it had something to do with what Yuri had said to them, especially with the conversation the two of them had had afterwards... but was that the case?

S:... Not really. S: But there's not much we can do.

T: Yeah...

T: can i ask u something?

S: Yeah, sure.

T: when did u know that u liked me? How long had we knon each ohter? T: Im not trying 2 b gushy, just curious.

S:... S: Call me shallow, but I'm pretty sure I was going to yell at you for bumping into me until I saw your face. S: when I said I'd always found you cute... I... Wasn't kidding. S: I kind of thought it would just be a fling...but here we are.

His breath caught in his throat, and it felt like his stomach had dropped a few inches. Oh no. Any other time he would've been a little flattered, but... no no no...

S: what really got me was... Getting to know you though... You've been a good influence on me. S: I wouldn't trade meeting you, or how I feel, for anything in the entire world.

T: Ive been a good influence on u?

S: Yeah.

He paused, looking at the message. What had he done that they'd think was a good influence? He typed a response, trying to make it sound lighthearted.

T: how so? hvae I... inspired u to make more puns or smoething? :P

S: Ha, maybe that in addition. S: ... I was starting to forget what trust felt like. S: well, except with Jill. But the point is, I needed some mutual trust... You and Bato sort of reminded me. You guys got me to open up. S: I'm sure there are other things here and there but... That's what comes to mind first.

T: ah...

S: Are you ok?

T: yea mi fnie

Toda winced; he'd sent that way too quickly... Quit stalling and just ask already, for crying out loud.

S: .... Toda...

He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, his face flushing, then took a deep breath. Here goes nothing…

T: We told Jill about the conversation we had the other day; we were trying to explain why w weren't going to tlak to 3, and we sort of back ourselves nto a corner. T: wen we told her you had sort of said not to mention it to hr, she said it was because u thoght she was weak T: Because she lkies to batle for fun, and u battle to win T: she thinks taht u think that makes hr weak

S: ... She... Still thinks that?

T: Thats what she said... T: ... So ou don't think that?

S: Did you think I do?

T: I didn't at first, cause I told u right when we met that B nd I play for fun T: btu seh said if u hd liked m from the start tehn u would have askd us anyway T: I still didn't wnat 2 tihnk that u thought liek taht T: btu i wsa...

S: i domt anytmore Damn it.

[SloshMasterV3 is offline]

T: wiat no! His fingers trembled. He didn’t mean to make them upset again, he just… He took another deep breath and wiped his eyes. At least he had an answer… Sort of...

He read their last message again; they didn't anymore... So had they used to?

A chime pulled him from his thoughts.

[4PawzAndMeow is online.]

J: re u the reason theres a new barrge of sobs comin form S's room?

Toda's heart sank. Oh no…

T: ... Probbly...

J: O J: I... wasn't bein serioos.

T: u soundd pretty serious

J: i ment th@ i didnt think u were Y... sry

T: oh

J:... U dint brak up wih thm did U?

T: no no T: no I didn't

J: @ lest theres th@

T: yah...

He glanced at Simon's tab. He needed to apologize again... But… it could be hours before they came back online…

T: hy Jill T: can I cme ovr? T: I want to say sory to thm. T: or hve a chance to

J: say sorry 4 wh@?

T: how abot if thy dn’t wnat to hear it I go to yuor room an we cn talk

There was a long pause.

J: yeah K. J: th@ works.

T: k T: be theer soon

J: k

He took a deep breath, then got his shoes on, slipped on his Splattershot Jr’s holster, and went on his way, taking his time so he didn’t wear himself out. He thought all the way over, running through his head his apology over and over again. How much should he say? Probably everything. As he drew near to the Grace house, he took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

Madeline opened the door, blinking in surprise. "Toda?" She asked. "Simon and Jill didn't say you were coming over."

"Afternoon, Mrs. Grace." Toda said, probably more formally than he needed to. "Jill invited me over about an hour ago?”

She paused, glancing over her shoulder for a second, then stepped aside to let him in. “Alright, just don’t bug Simon right now, they’re… not feeling so good today.”

He felt a twinge of guilt; That was the exact reason why he was here. "Thank you.” He said, peering around as he entered.

It was still quite a mess, the floor was scuffed and stained in a multitude of places, the stairs had no railing, bullet holes in the walls, the drywall on the ceiling was cracked, and Madeline’s prized roller was resting beside the stairs instead of hanging on the wall, at least for the moment. It looked like a warzone, and to be fair it sort of was. He gave a nod toward Madeline, then carefully made his way upstairs, managing to avoid grabbing for the railing that was no longer there.

He carefully stepped up to Simon’s door, a lump in his throat. He could hear faint sobbing on the other side, and he briefly considered skipping and just talking to Jill… when he saw her staring at him from down the hall. Her gaze flitted from him to the door and back again expectantly.

He took what felt like the millionth deep breath that day and knocked softly on the door.

“Go AWAY!” They shouted immediately.

He flinched, glancing for the stairs and praying Madeline hadn’t heard that. "Simon?" When there was no reply he steeled himself and continued. "Simon, I.. I wanted to apologize for earlier. I would have sent a message on Skope, but you were offline and… " He looked down at the floor. “The question was personal, it… I hope it didn’t feel like… an attack. When Jill.. When she told me about your past, it... Kind of struck a nerve with me. There was this kid I was sort of friends with for a while, named Benny; I think I referred to him once as a 'Luna-wielding ass'... It's a long story, but I should have known better than to think that you would think like that. I know you're not like that, I know that isn't you. I'm really sorry."

There was a long pause before the door opened a crack, and Simon stuck out their hand. Gingerly he took it, grip loose, just in case they wanted to pull away. However, their grip tightened, and they flung open the door, pulling him into an embrace.

He squeaked and stumbled as he almost lost his balance, but then squeezed them tight, resting his chin on their shoulder. "I-I'm really sorry." He repeated.

"... Nothing’s getting easier..." Simon whispered.

"No, it it isn’t..." He agreed. "... You'd think we would've earned a break at this point, huh?"

"You would think..." They agreed with a sigh. "... Well, while things are this difficult, if this 'Benny' shows his face you let me know so I can punch it."

He smiled just a little bit. "I will... Thanks."

"No problem... You don't even have to tell me why." They said quietly.

He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "... Is there someone I should keep my eyes out for?" He asked. "So I can return the favor?"

Their grip tightened around him. "Roderick. You see that bastard you can punch him as hard as you like."

"Gladly." He muttered with a small nod.

"It's a deal then." They said.

"A deal.” He agreed. “… Can we sit down? I had to do a lot of walking and I’m kind of worn out...”

“I’m not surprised, it’s awfully late.” They said, edging over to sit on the foot of their bed.

“… Wait, it is?” He asked, pulling away.

“… Yeah, Toda, it’s like, 10. Dude, it’s dark out and it’s summer, what time did you think it was?”

“I dunno, 6? 6:30?” He said, feeling his cheeks flush.

Simon slowly put one palm on their face. “Did you even set up a ride home? The trains are going to close soon.”

“… I forgot to tell my mom I was leaving.” He admitted.

Their other hand joined the first. "… Okay, I can ask my Mom if she'll drive you home-" They broke off for a long moment. "... You're probably not going to be comfortable with that."

"... Not really." He said, breaking off eye contact, sure his ears were flushed by now.

“How about I ask mom and dad if you can sleep over, and then we play some video games downstairs?

He smiled at that, nodding “Yeah… I need to call my parents too.”

They smiled. “Okay, meet me downstairs soon.” They said,

He nodded, absently adjusting his cap as he watched them go… They were still so cute…

After a moment he pulled his phone out of his pocket. “… Hey dad, it’s Toda. Can I stay the night at Simon’s house?”

THUD

Toda sat up with a snort, rubbing one of his eyes as he tried to figure out what was going on.

"Of course it's still a problem!" Jill was shouting.

"Shhh! Keep it down! He's still sleeping!" Simon replied.

"And already it's all about him!" She snapped.

Oh no. He remembered now. He’d spent the night at Simon’s house, after coming over to apologize… apparently there was still friction between the twins however… He grabbed his squidvader cap and started to put it on.

"It's not all about him! What's this 'it' you keep talking about anyway!?" Simon snapped, he could hear them pacing outside.

"I... I don't know, but.. This isn't working!" Jill replied.

"No SHIT. But I'm not just going to sit here while you yell at me for every mistake I've ever made." They said angrily.

"Maybe you should apologize for once!" She huffed.

His hearts sank a little. “Oh no...” He abandoned tucking all his tentacles into his hat and stood, quickly making his way to the door.

"I thought this might be the one time you'd be ok with it!" They exclaimed.

"You broke your promise!" She said.

"Ok, First off, We shouldn't be having this argument right now, and second of all, I thought you /liked/ Toda!"

"I do!! I do! He's the nicest kid you've ever dated. But I'm tired of you being so selfish and hypocritical!"

"Hypocritical? How am I-"

"You talk about how you want to be just like mom, just as good as mom. But when it comes down to it, you /have/ to have me with you, and you only use our squad as a dating device!" Jill shouted. “None of us deserve that!”

Toda flung open the door and peeked out, having to use one hand to hold his hat on. Both Jill and Simon turned to look at him, looking rather embarrassed.

“… Hey Toda~” Jill said, tone cheerful, but posture anything but.

“… Sorry.” Simon said, looking away.

"... It's okay." He mumbled, still a little bit groggy. He looked between the two of them… they were both obviously upset… He was never good at helping during something like this, that was what Bato was good at… Right, be like Bato. He squared his shoulders, then stepped up and put a hand on Jill’s shoulder. “It’s… okay to be upset.”

“Upset? I’m more than upset!” She said, pulling away from him. “I’m furious!”

“Tell me something I don’t know.” Simon huffed. “We should just leave it.”

“Leave what, the squad!?” She snapped. "You'd probably LIKE that! You can just as easily find a cute and/or muscular and dumb boy to replace me by tomorrow!"

"Jill!"

Toda flinched a little bit at her tone, pressing himself up against the wall. "Jill… Can you maybe take a deep--”

"ADMIT IT! YOU DON'T WANT ME!!!" She interrupted.

"YES! I! DO!!!" Simon snapped back.

"BULLSHIT!!!" She screamed. YOU LIED ABOUT DATING TODA, YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDN’T USE OUR SQUAD FOR DATING AGAIN, ALL YOU DO IS LIE LIE LIE!"

“Jill I--” Toda tried to cut in.

"THAT'S NOT TRUE!!!" They screamed back.

“Simon---” He tried again.

"YOU ALSO LIED ABOUT THE AGENT THING!!” Jill screeched.

"I-I DIDN'T LIE, I JUST DIDN'T TELL YOU!!!" Simon hollered, slightly wavering.

“ENOUGH!” Toda snapped, flushing with embarrassment. “… Sorry, I… You’re not going to get anywhere if you keep screaming at each other! Jill, what’s really wrong?”

Jill was silent a long moment. “… I… I’m lonely, and I’m worried I’m going to lose Simon to you…”

Toda’s ears drooped. “I’m not trying to take them away… I’m sorry you felt that way...” He slowly looked at Simon. “… Simon, what about you? What’s wrong?”

They looked at him a long moment, then sighed. “… I… I’m scared I’m going to lose you too Jill, but… I’m scared that if we get involved, we’ll.. die. It’s dangerous out there, and I don’t want you to be left without me, or to be without you, or both of us to be gone, and our parents are left in a ruined house all by themselves...”

Jill was quiet for a long moment. “… So you aren’t… just scared of me being hurt?”

They shook their head. “No, of course not. I’ve been hurt out there just as easily…” They sighed. “I’m sorry, for… saying that you were weak once… I didn’t know it had stuck with you and I didn’t know just how much I’d hurt you. You’re not weak, and trust me, I’ll never say you are again. You’re stronger than me in a lot of ways.”

She paused, then huffed. “No I’m not...”

“Yes you are.” Simon pressed. “You’re stronger in will and in joy, and… maybe physically, I’m not sure.”

She started laughing, then wiped at her eye before holding out her hand, palm down. “To Splattershot Sundae.”

They smirked, and put their hand on top of hers. “To Splattershot Sundae.”

“To Splattershot Sundae.” Toda agreed, putting his hand on top of theirs.

There was a long pause, then Jill put her other hand on top and spoke in a deep voice. “I’m Bato and I’m totally here.”

Toda laughed. “Dear Judd, that’s spot on.”

"... We good Jill?" Simon asked.

"We're much better. I'll... Try to talk with you if something comes up, rather than just blow up." She said awkwardly.

“I would appreciate that.” They huffed. “… Hey, where’s mom and dad, they hate it when we fight.”

Jill got a gleam in her eye. “Mom got… /the call/”

Simon’s eyes went wide. “Really?”

"... The call?" Toda asked, glancing between the two of them with a confused look.

"The call's just what we call it when Mom suddenly gets dragged in to more work, but she can't legally tell us what it is." Simon explained. "But in this case that's good news… perhaps a battle’s around the corner."

He smiled. “Oooo, that is good news!”

"And then Dad's off to regular work." Jill asked.

"Seems we've got the house entirely to ourselves." Simon shrugged. "As well as the burden to make breakfast, I think."

Toda's stomach growled a little bit at the mention of breakfast and he blushed, rubbing the back of his neck.

Jill giggled. "It seems like a cereal morning to me!” She said, then sprinted down the hall. “Better come after me quick or I’ll put ice cream on it!”

“Jill, no!” Simon yelped, running after her.

Toda laughed and ran after them, letting himself smile.

Toda is Knitter’s character.

Simon and Jill are Shuckle’s characters.

Splatoon belongs to Nintendo.

Please consider liking or reblogging if you enjoyed, it’s nice to know we’re doing things right.

Shuckle has a patreon if you would like to provide additional support!

[<PREV] [INDEX] [NEXT>]

[shytiff]

Small September Wins

1 - its JK's birthday, and BTS also got #1 Billboard 🥺 and then dave uploaded a video of him shaving his eyebrows. Somehow theres a lot of stuff happening as Sept starters! I hope all goes well in this month. Aamiin. DL, 6P

2 - DL, e (exercise), finished to 4 padi (took a while, but i still try to be proud), watched in the soop ep 2 yay!!!

3 - DL, e, edited 3 articles, 5P. Drank janjiw’s hazelnut latte and im still not sleepy (its currently 11 pm). like usually bcs i dont move a lot and its a boring routine day to day, im not 100% “awake”. most of the time im running on probably 90-95%, like there’s still that feel of tiredness looming behind, a slight feel on the head. (except after exercise or freshly woken up and bathed) but after coffee, my head doesnt feel the usual tiiiny weight, my eyes somehow feel like they’re fully open lmao. i see the bed and im not even thinking abt laying down and sleeping. my head feels clearer, if that makes sense. is this how other ppl feel all the time? but i feel sbux’s coffee doesnt quite have the “effect” on me like janjiw do. maybe bcs it’s arabica vs robusta. and today my back feels somewhat strong and not tired!! my legs were sore from yesterday but i can sit and do stuff for a while and not feel like ugh on my back

4 - DL, edited 1 article, MPI briefing

5 - DL, planned to run and i even changed but the weather turns SUNNY all of the sudden, and when i change back into normal clothing the suns gone lmao, watched parasite (and afterwards seeing the posters and tidbits about it), ordered damm eat (quite good, but the butter rice was a bit lacking), attended ma 50th anniv on zoom and wadah gerabah (kdm's seminar on financial planning)

6 - DL, e, 2P, ordered koper bebek pak boss (kgn!!! Taste good and oily as always just the way i like it), finished listening to Tentang Anak: Montessori just bcs i was curious

7 - DL, 2K (kompre lisan kak shela), A, the lecture was all day long so its a great distraction while im fasting, the dinner was spicy chicken so i was chugging a lot of water and my stomach was half water half food

8 - DL, D (Dhuha), 15K

9 - DL, 5K, met up with atikah and lau @ mcd citra 7, talked about coding design and branding (a refreshment from medschool vibezz), did delirium ppt for thursday submission (amazed i didnt do it 2 hrs before deadline)

10 - DL, pelatihan apd, google meets with shiko to do delirium ppt, edited 2 articles

11 - DL, E, 8K, wow nemos first webinar is finally published

12 - DL, e, joons birthday!!!!, eidcp (shock and pain), in the soop 4, mpi briefing, played among us with shiko

13 - DL, 20K, 3IKK (Cicil soal DK IKK)

14 - nugas EA bersama manusia2 terstruktur dan rapih anti deadliner club im like wow so this is how other rotations work? lmaooo

15 - DL, did KMKP QA together with B9, cicil DK IKK but my progress was sooo slow, slept in early even though i dont deserve it since i can feel the looming fatigue

16 - DL, lazed around the first half of the day wtf tif ingat kompre :((((, read kak diptas note on acls but i forgot it already (its only been a couple hrs) fkdigital obesity, did DT EA

17 - ask something for the first time in mpi class by my own will lmao. Todays class was very spontaneous. Listed sponsors contacts. DL, 3k

18 - DL, sent soal pld to alya, qc soal pld, finished ppt 1 hr before discussion, slept in until 9 am, my mood feels better after playing among us and werewolf with candra jiwa. i was alive until the very last seconds until i finally died and the evil won. i for sure CANNOT be a detective. Played until 12 am. my sour soul was cheered up, so glad i joined

19 - DT resume submission while lying in bed, kompre briefing, in the soop 5 while exercising (Emi Wong, standing HIIT), rapat sponsor nemo, read PPK Primer, diskusi asinkronus, my will to do things deteriorated again

20 - DL, hamstring and glutes sore af, 4IKK, read some PPK Primer, played among us with dajen and anak merpati, group call w shiko

21 - DL, did geriatri assignment, cicil ikk (even though turned out i did the wrong questions ffffffff), cbl at night from 19:30-21:00. Tried indomaret point's baper coffee and it did make me focus more on my laptop and deadlines to catch. Bts tiny desk concert omg!!!

22 - DL, cicil IKK as always~ geriatri discussion, drank indomaret points caramel latte and studied a bit for kompre. Somehow my stomach is less bloated when i drink coffee the night before :/

23 - DL, 1A, kompre study, dk ikk 17:00, coffee (palm sugar, indomaret point). Im not drowning in assignment... Yet

24 - DL, EA task training and simulation, cbl from 13:00-17:00 powered by sbux vanilla latte, passed out until 20:00, ate sum food, did DT

25 - wtf its friday already?!, DL, task training, spontaneous J-2 announced meeting with dr Dyah, tried ara's cake, rapat nemo and sponsor nemo, caramel macchiato~, ICORPS RSUI, cicil ikk terosss

26 - DL, have no will to do stuff, read some bitly kompre, ordered burgushi chicken mentai, cicil IKK

27 - 1A, alhamdulillahh finished reflection after a lot of stumped moments, it literally took me a day to make wtf. Its only 2 pages. And thats about it lmaooo. Played among us with solid

28 - DL, 1A, woke up at 11 am lmao, horein sam, cicil dk ikk, group call shiko. Didnt do a lot od things today but my mood is definitely better

29 - DL, will sleep at about 11 pm ish (slept through prof men’s lecture huhu) --> after posting this played my phone and slept at 12, anamnesis practice with ness ren, finished tugas harian geri

30 - DL, anam geri, finished status, and then did nothing else except reading painter of the night :(((( i didnt even do ikk. I got no fighting spirit today

[terumiafuro]

bleh 

god today i’m just... very stressed about my future and it’s really multifaceted. it’s definitely partly bc my anxiety is High bc something reminded me of my trauma the other day so last night was somniphobia central but even after taking a 2 hr nap (i wasnt sleeping all two hours but im def more well-rested) i’m just... blergh

for one dunkin didn’t give me a straight answer about if i’m coming back, like i literally went there this morning and talked to the assistant manager face to face and she said they were reviewing applications so they’d pull mine up from last year and then she asked about my availability which makes me think that it’s gonna be like, they give me the weird hours no one wants? and last year part of why i liked the job was bc getting shifts out of the way in the morning was REALLY nice, bc then i was awake and i had the afternoons free, but if she has me closing regularly or god forbid opening (opening shifts at dunks start at 3:30-4:30 AM depending on the day) like i genuinely just... might not do it? and if they don’t get back to me i have to try to find a seasonal job within like 2 months while being literally 500 miles away

and part of me just doesn’t want to get a job bc asking for time off/working out schedules last summer was so immensely stressful and maybe it’ll be less so with a COMPETENT manager but since they’ve been so obtuse with communications i doubt it and i just. i just want a nice relaxing summer? school has been so absurdly stressful for me and like frankly, i’m miserable 90% of the time? the only reason i’ve kind of taken transferring to a school in maryland (like jhu most likely bc its the only one at like the same level) off the table is bc ive had SUCH good experiences with classes and professors, esp in the department i want to major in. and it sucks so much bc this was my DREAM school, i cried for hours after getting in i was so happy, but i’m miserable? and like the idea of taking a semester off is just scary as shit bc its just not like... the normal path

and i’m so stressed about my plans long term, my dad tried to have a conversation with me the other day about my plans for the summer and then he was like “and what are your long term plans?” and i mumbled off something about med school maybe or something in public health and he was like “you know, if you really want to do anything in public health you need to be a physician” which is like wow! great! fucking great! and i dipped out of that convo REAL fast but i’ve just been avoiding thinking about med school since my mom and i argued about it when i was home for katsu and she basically said that i shouldn’t be thinking about it for now and it stings so much bc i have NO idea what else i’d do that would make me happy but i don’t know if i can deal with it emotionally, i don’t know if i can deal with the stress of the profession. and i think it’s worse given that like... my dad doesnt get my mental health the way my mom does, he was like, top of his class two varsity sports in hs, played college sports and graduated magna cum laude from college and got his masters and his med degree at a time when med school admissions were super less competitive than they are now and so i think he has this mindset of like “well /i/ did it so why can’t you?”

and like this is something it would be great to talk to my therapist about but i’m in this weird situation where i never went back to seeing my boston therapist bc we didnt mesh but also bc i tricked myself into thinking i was at a point where i could cope with my PTSD on my own and like i guess i could start seeing my md psych again this summer but like? that’s just ANOTHER thing to stress about. i don’t know. today’s not a good day i’m just trying to think through things and the future is scary as shit

[n-ph]

2k16

wow it’s been awhile since i’ve written one of these. i just realized that i totally didn’t write one last year. anyway i dont even know where to begin. 2016 has been an interesting year to say the least. i was rereading some of my old posts and i said omg a lot. the days just seem to go by in a blur nowadays, so i will try to recap 2016 as best as i can. i dont have a word to encompass this year though.

went to seattle in january. tried some really expensive sushi..twice..holy crap. the quality was a1 but man the bill was something else. seattle was nice though. definitely had a san francisco vibe to it, except for when you go to the waterside and look back at all the construction. i guess we kinda ran out of things to do bc on the last day we went to chinatown and the area seemed really dinky. also gained a ton of weight in seattle though u_u

in february we tried 5a5 steakhouse. and let me tell u. it is the best beef i have ever had. it is also the most money i have ever spent on a single meal. oh my god. i dont know if i'll ever be back, but i would like to, some day.

thus far, the semester was pretty okay. let's see..i had government accounting with a moody professor who would throw tantrums whenever no one participated. i also had business law with this old guy who was really lively and fun. i had strategic management with a bryan cranston look alike. the class was really interesting though and i learned a lot and it got me started on reading the economist lmao im so old. i miss having so much free time that came with school. 40 hour work weeks are not the life (even if i barely do anything at work).

went to LA during spring break. and at a good time too bc it was still the soft opening of harry potter world so the lines were v manageable. butterbeer was dope. the entire hogsmeade village just felt so real. had sooo much good food in LA omg. got to see some friends as well. had some of the best steak frites ever.

i cant believe i particpated in asu's talent show this year. much has changed in asu since i joined. it makes me wonder if i was behaving that way when i first joined. it seems a lot more clique-y and high school and drama filled but hey maybe it was that way when i was active but i just never noticed. had many fun lunches with my grand little but man there is a lot of drama in asu and im just glad i wasnt in any of it. i kinda miss the old asu days of staying out late to eat or do nothing at all but also i dont miss it bc i get enough sleep and im a lot more productive without asu lmao. finally ended things with tram for good. maybe things turned out the way they did for the better. the entire friendship was such a roller coaster. im glad its over.

the end of the semester rolled around!!! and i graduated!!!! :') attended my sisters graduation which was pretty boring bc high school students have such a narrow view of life (not to say that college students are any better). attended my own graduation. felt really fortunate to have jessa and anthony there. this one kid in my graudating class gave a speech about accomplishments...and he revealed the wrestling belt he was wearing underneath his graduation gown...and then he made the grads stand up and chant thank yous to the friends and family sitting behind us. it was so embarrassing and extra omg.

shortly after graduation i was on a plane headed back to the motherland. and let me tell u. i hated most of it. it was super hot and humid and my sister and i shared about 100 mosquito bites between the both of us. also. i know i shouldnt but..vietnam is so dirty. i know its not their fault that theyre a developing country but man there are exactly zero sanitation standards and i dont even know why we were there bc the water had recently been polluted so none of the fish were edible and my mom didnt trust the food stands to have clean food either. i guess i made some new friends and visited some cool places but at what cost??? also i think my entire fam got sick bc we slept with the ac on but either way, the meds i took made me lose my sense of smell i think and i couldnt taste or smell anything for two weeks. the ac air also dried out my nose and gave me a skin infection (which i will discuss later). during our trip to danang a small ferry got flipped on the big river and a bunch of ppl died and the government tried to cover it up bc bad publicity etc. they played it off as if only a few ppl died rather than most of the ppl on the boat. our tour guide in danang was in the know tho so he told us everything and w o w that really could've been us on that river bc it was a boat the left the dock about half an hour after our boat left. crazy.

after the long and arduous journey abroad i finally made it back home...and then headed to hawaii. hawaii was dope af. 10/10 would recommend, would go back. battled the tides when we went kayaking and sadly the tides won and i lost my hat but also almost lost my flip flops if it weren't for some kind random strangers who swam out to get my flip flops. we stayed on oahu and maui. hiked up a v steep mountain in oahu. lost my hat from kayaking. got caught in the rain when we went looking for a beach on the first day. had some of the best shaved ice ever. attended my first luau. fell asleep during the first part of a fire dancing show (bc the fire hadnt started yet). essentially pulled an all nighter to try oahu's famous bakery that opened at 3am. flew to maui but due to poor planning we arrived 4 hours earlier than check in lmao. the house we had in maui was so beautiful though omg. it was ocean side so we could hear the waves every night and it just felt so peaceful and tranquil to sit on the balcony in the mornings, just staring out at sea. in maui we went snorkeling. the last time i went snorkeling was like...10+ years ago...in cancun...and the water was freezing...and i also thought i was lost in the middle of the ocean on our way to the snorkeling location... but anyway! the snorkeling this time was so cool omg they had prescription swimming goggles so i could see EVERYTHING. they also provided lunch which was dope. it started raining on our way back to shore though lmao. the next day we drove all the way up the volcano in maui...to find that the top was foggy af and we couldnt see anything. the road up was pretty nasty bc super windy and 10000 ft elevation. it got really foggy after like 6000ft so we basically drove in all fog until the top which was still foggy but also like 20 degrees colder than the rest of maui. maui is super rural omg. we tried to find a place to eat after our trek but there were barely any food places in sight. we picked a random spot in the middle of nowhere and then decided to take the road to hana (which is on the opposite side of where we were staying, and was about 3 hrs away. and boy did we mess up. we took the alternate road there and it was scarier than going up the volcano bc 1) windy 2) small ass roads which were unpaved at certain points and 3) cliff hugging roads..i cant believe i made the drive there and back it was so terrifying omg. not sure if i would go back. at one point there was a big ass cow in the middle of the road. once we got to hana though, the hike was really nice despite the humidity. almost died crossing the river at the end to see the waterfall. all the rocks had big ants on them!!! how was i supposed to cross the river!!! we missed out on the wading pools though but we were so starving by that time. made the 3 hr drive back and everyone was dead. spent the last day on maui not doing much bc rainy and we were all so dead.

about two weeks after i got back from hawaii was training week in sac for my first big girl job. ngl but i felt super homesick that first night. idk why since i would be home by the end of the week anyway. probably just overwhelmed by how fast everything was happening. graduation and now transitioning into a full time job. scary stuff. but i did make a really good friend in sac so it didnt turn out so bad!!! training was pretty fun bc our presenter was pretty engaging. except when we went over the boring stuff and i was v close to falling asleep. did get to catch up with some of my sac friends though which was nice. went to the state fair for the first time as well. it was..exactly as expected but hotter lmao. my family went to san diego at this time bc my sister was going to comic con but i couldnt make it :(

got back from training and started my first big girl job. im not sure what i expected but it was easy but also hard? my first engagement i was only with one other senior and she was super nice and pretty and really good at lettering. i dont feel like i learned much? i only really did the tasks given to me but i feel like half the time i wasnt even sure what i was doing. i also hated the commute all the way back from walnut creek. the going there wasnt so bad bc i got a ride out to oakland but man it would take forever to get home. :'( my second engagement was just me and a partner and i feel like she expected me to know everything...but i didnt know anything...so i mostly sat around a lot??? esp bc she wasnt on site every day so i had zero supervision. :/ towards the end of the second engagement i got an email from the city saying that they were accepting me into their accounting position and i was like oh shit. i ended up taking the job, which gave me a week in between quitting the first job and starting the second, which i used to go back to LA lmao bc i had a season ticket to universal. actually ate at the three broomsticks this time. it was defs filling and i thought it was a good bang for buck. attempted to go to the walking dead tour..chickened out..twice. i probs would've died in there tbh. also went to disneyland!!!! that was lit. their macone-roni and cheese was da bomb. saw world of color for the first time except it was the 50th anniversary edition so it wasnt so great. bumped into the couple that was in jbieb's love yourself video. tried some new food places in LA and saw some old friends, again.

started my second big girl job. all my coworkers are super nice except the big boss is kind of crazy and anal. but we deal with it. my supervisor is so nice :'( work isnt so bad bc i dont do much lmao. the hardest part sometimes is just staying awake if im being honest. getting paid to do nothing is the life tho.

spent my birthday weekend in monterey. we were supposed to go atv-ing but ended up going wine tasting but also not really bc we liked the first wine so much we got a bottle of that to share. it was really cold that weekend surprisingly so we stayed in and then went to this spa place on a whim and it was definitely an interesting experience.

went as a rice bag for halloween and i think that was probably my greatest costume to date. except we ended up going to a party full of white ppl...and i was like the only asian there gdi

tagged along w my sister when she went to sd. got to see many friends!!! went clubbing as well and that was lit. took michelle clubbing for her 21st birthday, also lit. squadsgiving and christmas were super fun. got some supplies for bullet journaling so guess thatll be my new years resolution. but also to take more photos bc i didnt buy that camera for nothing.

okay so in conclusion. i did a lot of stuff this year. it feels like it was mostly all highs. or maybe i just block out the lows but im pretty sure there were way more highs than lows. 2016 was a great year tbh. oh yeah i also passed two of four parts of my cpa exam!!! woot. in 2016, i learned a lot...of accounting lmao. plus i ran my first 5k!!!!! oh yeah and i joined a gym and now im getting swole af. im not sure what my reflections are. i guess, if i were to compare 2k16 kim to 2k14 kim i've for sure come a long ways. i wasnt afraid to try new challenges and conquer them. i stepped out of my comfort zone multiple times, sometimes with the help of alcohol. i got my shit together and really focused in school (which got me a 4.0 during my last year of college). i also got my shit together and studied my ass off for the cpa (which is still ongoing i crey). i really wanna say this was probably one of my best years with everything i was able to do and everything i achieved. so here's to you, 2016, and may 2017 be even better!!!

[datingadviceonreddit]

Please help me!Ok so, i have been dating this girl for aproximately 2 and half months. She is truly amazing, we have so fucking much in common it blew my mind. However, i started to notice she would get more unreliable about picking up the phone when i called especially after work when i get off at 11pm. Also, i found it very suspicious this girl would always be asleep or unable to pick up the phone around 11pm, reason being she would constantly tell me shes up until 3-4am and most nights out with friends. when we first started there werent anything that i noticed. But this last month i started to pick up signs or maybe its just my insecurities. For example a week ago i couldnt get in touch with her at all, we talked at 2pm thats it. Called her on lunch break nothing, ok whatever. Called her at 11 and textes to make sure everything was ok. Doesnt answer, ok no big deal. Next morning in the afternoon she says sorry blah blah she left her phone in her bag in her car. And im just thinking are you kidding me nobody does that. Also i lile to add her wallet is attached to her phone its a case. She said she was out with 3 of her friends that she named and i was like ok. I told her it was really hard to beleive that she didnt have her phone the entire night.So this week she said we'd see each other friday night (tonight). The entire week leading up to it i had a feeling she was going to not pick up the phone when i got off at 11pm. Well we had lunch together and she mentioned her friend invited her to go to her birthday party at uni. And i know i reacted like are you serious just because i knew somehow i wasnt seeing her tonight. Then before i left for work she said well i still have to talk to her and see if ahes going. I told her just to go have fun. So, around 9pm she txt me saying she's losing it. I immediately call her see whats wrong. She couldnt tell me what was wrong ,she feels depressed, sad, and also began to cry to me it seemed pretty well acted. I didnt think she waa faking it.I ask her whats bothering you what not, and she said something along the lines of this just happens sometimes... im like ok to myself. Tell her if she needs anything to call me, i told her i would call her at 11 when i get off. Of course i knew she wasnt going to pick up. I tried to convince myself she's just sleeping, instead of go over the line with driving to her house to see if she's even there. Keep in mind she lives an hr away.Now im not happy i had to go see if she was there but something just wasnt settling in my gut. So what did i do. I went and drove to her house, on the way there im telling myself she's there i know she is and all this other shit. She was clearly not there. I drove past her house 4 times just to make sure.. not very proud i had to go to this to see whats going on..I immediately wanted to just text her and be like i know ur not home and all this other shit. But instead im waiting to see what her excuse is in the morning, im expecting the usual that she fell asleep. Deep down i feel this girl is cheating on me, but maybe its just my insecurities?But what if she went to the party, that would have been fine but why wouldnt she just tell me. Keep in mind this is truly my first gf and i truly did everything for her. I went to her cousins wedding within the first month and half, we spent so much time together constantly at her house and what not. Met her entire family she would tell me they all loved me and she met my entire family and my friends. Her not picking up the phone makes my insecurities go through the roof. Now, she would constantly ask my how this is real and how am i dating her and stuff like that because im so attractive and handsome. She would also tell me about her awful relationships with her other bfs.I know the answer is to break up with her i think.. but damn i really just want to take the easy way out and just tell her over the phone when she calls, but i know i should go see her face to face.What should i do? What if she does tell me in the morning she went to a friends house or the party. But then again why couldnt u just pick up the phone when i called.. via /r/dating_advice