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#disasters greatest hits
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This is fucking stupid
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brianharoldbae · 2 years
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back at it again
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bojackandherb · 1 year
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Herb: So anyway, then I was thinking— Charlotte? Charlotte, are you listening to me?
Charlotte, who had been zoning out: Huh? Yep. Continue with what you were saying about Bojack.
Herb: I wasn’t talking about Bojack. Why would you assume that? I was talking about this new idea for a TV pitch I had.
Charlotte: Okay, okay, sorry. Continue on.
Herb: So, as I was saying, I was thinking the main character could be this cute horse guy—
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m3hgumi · 8 months
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— when you have period cramps
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a/n: me at any minor inconvenience: omg more content 😍😍 cramps are hurting so bad and i was thinking about them … ooo the voices THE FUCKING VOICES
i’ll also be splitting the hcs into two parts with other characters so it’s easier to post
pairings: itadori yuji x f!reader, fushiguro megumi x f!reader, gojo satoru x f!reader
genres: fluff, hurt/comfort
word count: 853
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itadori yuji
baby was so scared and terrified and confused at first
he’s never had to deal with something like this before, having no female family members or relatives
so to say the least he was stumped
you tried to brush it off saying you were okay and the pain would pass until another wave of sharp stabbing pain hit your side
that’s when you told him to get the pain killers cause this was gonna be a Very Long Week
once you explained to him the horrors of being a woman with a functioning uterus, he didn’t hesitate to grab (steal) a heating pad from nobara’s room (which almost led to disaster, thankfully you had stepped in and no damage was done)
he hates seeing you in pain and tries so hard to make sure you’re comfortable
he’ll have you laying your head in his lap, sprawling the rest of you body on the sofa or bed of your dorm, and ruffle your hair as the two of you watch your favorite show or movie
when you’re napping, he’ll try to cook you something to keep your energy up and endure the pain
i bet he tries to look up recipes for meals that help with period cramps
and tries to cook them for you 🥹
even if he’s not the greatest cook, you appreciate those meals better than any craving you’ve had for the rest of the week
megumi fushiguro
he’s gone through this many times with tsumiki before so he knows exactly what to do
prepare a heating pad, stock up on pain meds, get her usual cravings and everything would be fine
though her cramps weren’t as painful (or so he thought, she just hid how painful they were from him) as he found yours to be, so he had to do a little bit more to help you alleviate the pain
including routine cuddles, plenty of kisses, many many blankets, and the occasional peace and quiet for your naps
he has your period tracker synced to his phone so he knows in advance when to stock up on any supplies you’ll need to get through the hellish time of shark week
he’d cancel any plans he may have had with nobara and yuji to stay with you (mad respect 🙏)
he’ll also summon his demon dogs for emotional support, even if it’s not allowed in the dorms (he’s such a real one 😭☝️)
he also has his phone notifications off so all of his attention is focused on getting you through this hellish week (ok but mans needs to catch a break too)
he’ll let you play with his hair as a distraction from the pain
if you ask for cuddles his face will get super red but he’ll oblige after
eventually he’d stop you from consuming all of chocolate and chips that is your cravings and get you to eat an actual meal
he won’t mind if you start complaining or yelling at him about something insignificant (like the temperature in the room being too low) because he knows it’s just the pain talking
instead he’ll pull you even further to his touch, soothing you and hopefully getting your mind farther away from your uterus twisting itself
gojo satoru
for ONCE his sweets stash under his bed is finally useful for someone other than him 🔥
i can imagine teen gojo first seeing you in pain and laughing (geto probably smacked him real good after that)
“wowww women have it SOOO hard 🙄” “OF COURSE YOU WOULDNT KNOW YOU ASSH-“
he has everything stocked up and ready for that time of the month: from pads to heating pads to pain meds (lots of them) and most importantly SO MANY SWEETS
he definitely uses this time of the month as an excuse to go out and buy an exorbitant amount of candy that will most definitely leave the two of you with diabetes
he’ll also bail out on any meetings or missions (except the ones with his students, he can’t leave them) so he could stay with you
if for any reason he can’t be physically be there, he’ll be on speed dial or he’ll get nanami or shoko to keep you company
you tell him not to worry and don’t bother staying since the pain will pass on its own and isn’t really anything to worry about, but he insists anyways
when he’s not busy he’s either cuddling you or having you wrapped around his arms, passing the time by watching his shitty collection of movies or any of your favorite shows
he’s definitely gonna feed you the giant chocolate cake he bought from the bakery down the street (and feed himself some ofc)
since gojo is just a giant pillow anyways, falling asleep on him isn’t much of a problem, even if your insides are attacking you with the worst pain ever
i’ve mentioned this in hcs before but he ABSOLUTELY has a whole album of pics where you’re sleeping on his shoulder or lap, cuddles are not excluded
(ok this is getting too long i should stop)
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crooked-wasteland · 4 months
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The rapresentation of abusers in helluva boss is something that particularly frustrates me, Stella in particular, it seems to be done just to victimaze certain characters not to show the complex dynamics of those relationships. It seems to me the writers aren't mature enough to handle these topics properly.
Abuse: The Heart of Vivienne Medrano
Christmas 1962, a man renowned the western world over for his revolutionary approach to animation sat in a withering melancholy as he watched what could only be called a cinematic masterpiece based on a novel classic. Walt Disney, now in the twilight years of his life, saw the walls closing in and his legacy coming to a close. This man, who pioneered the animated feature film, saw his greatest accomplishment as his greatest obstacle. The man responsible for the tales brought to life of Cinderella, Snow White, Pinocchio, and Dumbo felt trapped in his achievement. “I wish,” Walt lamented, “I could make a picture like that.”
To Kill a Mockingbird was a piece that challenged its audience. The discussion of a white man defending a black man in southern America, decades before the civil rights movement. The movement that, at the time the movie hit cinemas, was in its infancy. Released during the height of the historically revisionist counter movement taking place to combat the rising push of African Americans towards their human rights. The last film Walt Disney ever saw the production of before his death in 1966 was The Jungle Book, a movie that was the epitome of “Safe” and a message that upheld the status quo of segregation.
It wasn’t until 1972 that the media of animation became raucously adult with those political and challenging concepts Disney felt were unattainable. Fritz the Cat was an X-rated animated film composed of vignettes that were unapologetically perverse, violent, and aggressively political. Critical of politicians and the police with a sympathetic if exploitative lens towards the LGBT and racial minority communities Brooklyn-based director Ralph Bakshi grew up around. Bakshi proved that animation was not strictly a child-friendly media and that adult animation could be financially and critically successful.
(For more on Ralph Bakshi's career and animation history)
If one has ever had the opportunity to listen to a Brad Bird (director of Ratatouille and The Incredibles) interview, it is clear to see that the success of Bakshi was generally quite limited. That animation is considered a genre and not a medium of art has resulted in animated films being knee-capped in the box office. There is far more potential to animation, highlighted by Howard Ashton in his collaboration with Disney studios during the Renaissance. Responsible for resurrecting the feature-length animated movie through The Little Mermaid and credited for the monumental success of Best Picture Award winner Beauty and the Beast, Ashton once said that the potential animation was ideal for musical theatre. The limitless possibilities given the medium gave the possibility of introducing Broadway to the common folk who didn’t live in New York and otherwise couldn’t afford the theater. He was quoted saying that live action musical films were “an exercise in stupidity,” highlighting the freedom that comes with a blank page.
However, the success of animation, and media in general, comes down to the message the media wishes to send. The reason the Disney Renaissance films have enjoyed their position as cornerstones of pop culture and creativity was because it did introduce the artform of musical theater into homes and made them readily accessible to everyone with an even heightened sense of fantasy that revitalized Walt’s ethos of making films for the child in everyone.
With Bakshi, it was the loud and violently political message of a revolution taking place. This continues in adult animation with the Simpsons, a series critical of hyper-capitalist America and the fallout of Reagan’s economic disaster that the effects of which are still being felt today and a satire of toxic masculinity and abusive family dynamics.
So, ultimately, the value of a piece of media is a cross between its social artistic influence and the message the creators are intending to make. While Medrano’s influence on the field of indie animation is often mischaracterized as a “pioneer”, the fact is that indie animation and pilots have existed and been funded before Spindlehorse existed. It is simply that Medrano has had the spotlight handed to her for the myth surrounding the production and subsequent success of his indie projects. Artistically, her influence can be summarized as a double-edged sword. For some, she is the motivation for inspiring artists to connect with the community to one day, hopefully, create their own work. On the other hand, she is the cautionary tale of why investing in an indie project is a financial risk for an audience member and a risk to the community as a whole that poses a real danger of making the indie sphere financially cannibalistic, as her public persona is off-putting to “normies” and her show is simply not good.
Much like Disney, the man in 1962, and Disney the company circa 2023, the revolution of animating "because you can" loses its luster very quickly. Without something profound to say, an entire company, regardless of its social influence, can fade into irrelevance despite still being "successful". The story of Disney is a cautionary tale for Indie animation as a whole and Spindlehorse in specific.
And that is the other axis on this chart. Her narrative lacks a message worth telling, and that’s very much due to her not having anything worthwhile to say.
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“I really liked when things and shows and stories allow the characters to be flawed, and allow them to grow and to change. And I think that’s something that’s, you know, the world is not black and white. And I like things that explore the gray and that and the complexity, of life and mistakes and of things like that.” - Vivienne Medrano
It is not for want of mockery that I carefully transcribe Medrano’s words in her interview. To read the words aloud tells the story just as clearly as I have set out to do here. This is someone who is highly inspired by better media, who has ideas and a belief that she has something to say. But that is where the belief ends. There is no conclusion to that thought any more than there is one in the unfocused and run-on sentences she rambles along throughout the interview. She talks of “Things” without clarity, because she herself is a fundamentally incurious individual who has never once spent the time critically analyzing herself, let alone the work of others to better grasp what about it resonated with her. She merely consumes art insatiably and without any substance. Like a diet of fruit, it has a superficial veneer of positive value. Fruit would be considered healthy as it is “natural”. However, it is the nutritional equivalent of candy, lacking vital components that are necessary to sustain basic life, it is pure sugar. Her work, similarly, lacks any value of depth that would qualify as meaning.
Which comes back to what the message is in her work.
When it comes to others in the field of indie animation, Medrano does not have many friends. In response to the Lackadaisy situation, creator Tracy explained why she returned Medrano’s donation. For one, the donation was not Medrano’s money, but money she crowd sourced from her employees. While the $5k for the producer spot of the fundraiser would have not been a dent in her personal wallet, Medrano is so uninterested in supporting fellow creators while presenting an impression of camaraderie that she instead took money from the people she is in charge of the paychecks for to get her name in the credits of another creator’s work. In regards to why Medrano was declined her support, it was due to numerous individuals who had such an awful experience working for Medrano that they did not want her involvement associated with the project to any extent. When the money was returned, she made the situation extremely public and encouraged harassment by liking tweets attacking Tracy and the Iron Circus team.
A well-known member of Medrano’s crew, Hunter B, was leaked speaking crassly of other animation projects that were still in the process of production, met with support from other members in the discord. One of these creators being Ashley Nicoles from Far-Fetched. A former friend and creative partner on the Hazbin Pilot whose podcast streams featuring Edward Bosco and Michael Kovach single-handedly maintained interest in the show until the winter of 2021, free of charge. Ashley once spoke of how Medrano would speak disparagingly of an employee to her, saying that this individual was “Too unstable to work with”. Which, regardless of whether or not that is Medrano’s honest opinion, counts as defamation by an employer. It is the exact reason why most previous employers will not give a negative, detailed review of a former employee, maintaining instead to verify facts of the employment. If Erin Frost was more experienced and less involved in social media exposed culture, they could have easily sued Medrano and Spindlehorse for damaging their reputation in their field of employment.
Which circles back to Medrano’s self-assigned message of her show:
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“Abusers rely on your silence. They rely on knowing you can’t retaliate without consequence. That they can tell any lies and vague around without getting called out. But we see you, and you don’t have the power you think you do anymore. A message I put into my work. “Fuck you!” - Vivienne Medrano
Medrano, who has vague and sub tweeted individuals like Lackadaisy Tracy, The Diregentlemen, Michael Kovach, and Ashley Nicoles. Medrano who has instigated and incited harassment campaigns knowing that no one can call her out without severe and relentless backlash from her cultish fanbase that she personally encourages through positive reinforcement of liking the tweets of fans. Medrano who relies on the silence of other creators in the field due to the fear of her ire collapsing their projects before they even have a chance to begin.
Vivienne Medrano with an extensive abusive history that continues to this day, has something to say about abuse.
What Medrano has to say about abuse comes from someone who has the position of superiority in all of her relationships, but feels like she’s the outcast and bullied loser. Her self insert that is repeatedly expressed in every character at one point or another is how easily they abuse those around them just because they can, but that the narrative justifies their “acting out” because they are sad. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, “An abuser externalizes the causes of their behavior. They blame their violence on circumstances.”
Indeed, the lists of abusive characteristics and traits, according to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, overwhelmingly encompasses the characteristics shown by characters like Loona, Blitz and Stolas that Medrano repeatedly has attempted to rationalize, justify and minimize. Which, “An abuser often denies the existence or minimizes the seriousness of the violence [including emotional and mental abuse] and its effect on the victim and other family members.”
It is not surprising, then, that the conversation of abuse in Helluva Boss is often infuriating. The narrative underplays the harm done by characters we are supposed to see as “good”. Not allowing for them to grow or change, but ignoring and minimizing the behavior, justifying it through circumstances and perpetuating the false belief that victims are not, themselves, abusers.
One of the first blog post rants I ever made about mental health and abuse was the affirmation that not all victims of abuse are survivors. I wholly stand by that. Victims of abuse perpetuate abuse. A victim and an abuser are one in the same, whereas a survivor is someone who has actually done the difficult work of being self-critical. And the one thing we all are very aware of is how much Vivienne Medrano rejects criticism.
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runningquill-art · 4 months
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“They sat up and reached for each other’s hands, face, shoulders, blurting out a flurry of questions – are you hurt, bloody hell, did they get you, are you all right, can you stand, are you sure you’re all right, I saw you get hit, can you walk, oh, thank god, you’re all right, you’re okay, you almost got killed, you stupid, bloody idiot–
They found their feet. He held her dear bruised-up face in his hands and she held his in hers.
He kissed her, softly, under the downpour, softly, against her split lip, softly, amongst tears and rain and blood.
She slid her arms around his neck and rose upon her tip-toes and kissed him back. Draco knew happiness, then. Happiness was her, alive, her tear-filled eyes spilling over, her heartbeat thudding against his chest. It was knowing that her greatest threat was dead and gone, it was the beauty of days ahead that he hardly dared imagine, it was the feel of fingers in his hair, it was the shudder of her half-crying, half-laughing, it was her whisper of you absolute idiot against his mouth.
She pushed her face into his chest and gasped out sobs of relief and joy.
There was movement around them. Potter and Weasley were on their feet. Tonks, looking like herself again, limped towards them, as did Goggin and Buckley.
As he held Granger to his heart, Draco, frankly, did not give a single solitary fuck about the opinions of his colleagues. He only cared about her – about this – this exquisite catastrophe, this beautiful, stupid disaster.” - Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being in Love, Chapter 34: Deus Ex Machina, by @isthisselfcare
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DMATMOOBIL art 20/?
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astupidweeb69 · 3 days
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hello!! I am kinda nervous to write this bc I absolutely love your writing and the way you portray Toby is just so real. I love how you make him both a loser and a force of nature, like just bc he has no rizz doesn't mean he can't do anything lol. But I was lowkey thinking about your stories the other day and like, what if Y/N also had some screws loose? Like he pops up at her house covered in the blood of some guy who wouldn't leave her alone and instead of calling the police like a smart person she's just like: " 😳 omg you did this for me??" I know it's unrealistic and silly but it's also kind of interesting???
Ticci Toby x Violent! Reader
Toby with an unhinged reader? Well - there's a recipe for disaster lmao.
I know I said I'm not taking requests but this ended up becoming a scenario. I just had some inspo - hope this is what you were looking for! Because the reader isn't submissive? Idk
Y/N has some messed-up thoughts and there are mentions of violence under the cut!:
The reader I imagine in this case would have only seen how cringey Toby is - thinking he was just a creepy guy who's taken a liking to them and would avoid him at all costs. Probably up until this point assume that he's a wimp (Toby would initially try his best to seem weaker and unassuming when he approaches the person he likes)
The scenario I imagine is that Y/N grew up around conflict, and is fully comfortable around violence, even throwing a few punches themselves here and there. Maybe ended up in Juvie when they were younger and now works in some retail job - something where they regularly interact with the general public.
A customer tries to hit on Y/N when Toby's there - big mistake.
But Toby doesn't say anything at first.
He doesn't have to.
Y/N immediately shuts the customer down. But the guy doesn't let up. Curses are thrown back and forth, Y/N's wrist is grabbed.
He touched you.
Toby doesn't like that. Not one bit.
You get reprimanded by your boss after you punched the unruly customer in the face.
Luckily they didn't press charges.
You had a bit of an edge, from your surly demeanor and fucked sense of humor, but Toby had no idea you'd do that.
Kind of turned him on. He knew he picked you for a reason.
But alas, that was the extent of your revenge. You already had a record of aggravated assault and you didn't need another one added to the list.
Luckily for you that scrawny, lanky boy who always stared at you when he came in had a plan in motion.
Late at night, a knock on the door wakes you up from a nap on the couch. Of course, you look through the peephole first before answering.
Red.
Everything is red.
Only until you hear a familiar voice pipe up do you realize who it is.
Toby.
The blood covered so much of his face it was hard to point out who he was at first.
He speaks to you through the door, somehow already knowing you're there.
And he tells you what he did.
It takes a moment for you to process all the grizzly details, the way he followed the man, cornered him in an alley, and beat him so hard he'd pretty sure he cracked his skull on the brick wall.
He sounded giddy about it. Gleeful.
He was far from the loser you thought he was.
And you liked it.
Liked that he did that for you.
After all, in your head, hurting someone for someone else was the greatest form of love. It was the kind of devotion you'd always dreamed of from a partner.
You open the door.
Toby is surprised, but soon sees a look on your face he recognized. The kind of expression of sick joy and arousal that comes with blood lust.
You're blushing too. Blushing for him.
Everything was finally coming together perfectly, and once you let him into your home, he's never going to leave.
The relationship would start right off the bat. Toby is one to rush things.
It's all to claim you. Both mentally and physically. So you're attached to the hip pretty much. Expect a lot of PDA (Toby does not care who sees lol)
And a reader who's fully on board?
Yeah you're going to bring out the worst in each other. He'll encourage you to do more crimes, to get bloodier, to join him.
It would be a very bad situation for everyone involved.
But especially for anyone unfortunate enough to cross the paths of you two lovebirds.
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t-0ne25 · 14 days
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[C] — THEIR APARTMENT
Perhaps caused by anxiety reasons, you’ve always been someone who needs to discuss things as soon as possible. Otherwise, you won’t be able to stop worrying and just fall down a drain of confusion. It’s a curse and a blessing at once. After packing all your stuff, you head to one of the cafés on your way to your friends’ shared apartment, getting three drinks for the trio.
Luckily, the subway isn’t as crowded as it was two days ago, making it easier to balance the beverages without the fear of spilling even a single drop. One less problem. At least something. You wonder now how stupid it was to get a caffeine induced drink for yourself, when your heart is already threatening to burst out of your chest. You push the worries aside—as best as possible—and (im)patiently wait for the station you want to get out.
Once you reach it, you sprint out the vehicle and basically run to the building your friends live in. Your heart is pumping at lightning speed, your head is spinning, making you wonder if it’s such a great idea, first, to turn up here uninvited and, second, to talk to them about the confusion inside your head when you yourself don’t know yet what you actually want.
Well, if you’re completely honest... The best decision would be not to choose at all and just be close with both of them—both physically and romantically speaking. This is the disaster you’ve caught yourself in. Great. Who on earth has a crush on both their friends and said friends also happen to be roommates? This is ridiculous.
Your palms are sweaty when you enter the house, climbing up the stairs with weak knees but you manage to get to their floor. You count to ten inside your head—a strategy you always use when you’re caught in anxiety induced moments like this one. You make it to number eight, nine follows. Nine and a half. Nine and three quarters. Wishing to find a magic spell that will help you out of this.
Ten.
You’ve got this.
You ring the doorbell.
Half a minute passes before the door swings open, revealing Minho who is only wearing a towel around his waist. You cling onto the drinks you brought with you. An accident of three iced beverages hitting the floor and making a sticky mess should be avoided at any cost.
“You’re here to see Jisung, hm?”
You’re startled to say the least. “No… Well, actually, I wanted to talk to both of you.”
Minho grins, stepping back and gesturing towards their apartment, telling you to enter. “Then come in, princess. Make yourself comfortable.”
You follow suit, getting inside, all shyly handing him the beverages. He thanks you and places them on the couch table. His roommate is already sitting on the sofa but stands up when he notices you. And Jisung’s mischievous smirk is even more present.
Why the hell do they act like this?
“Look who’s decided to show up, Ji,” Minho says and you know that he’s smiling brightly. Have they expected you to come to their place?
Jisung chuckles, “Oh, our girl is here to see us, hm?”
Their girl? You don’t quite get what he means with that. What is going on?
“Were you guys… waiting for me?” you dare to ask now.
The younger one is wearing that tank top again, his muscles on full display and you barely notice your gaze wandering towards them, as if some supernatural force is dragging your eyes to them.
“You could say that, yeah,” Jisung giggles.
“You wanna explain why you’re here?” Minho asks and when you turn around he’s suddenly dressed in some sweatpants and a shirt similar to his roommate’s. How the hell did he manage to change so quickly? Or were you perhaps zoned out because of Jisung’s arms? You wouldn’t be surprised, to be honest.
But what are you supposed to tell them? Hey, I’ve got a crush on the both of you and impulsively decided to drive all the way to your place just to tell you that I don’t know who I want either.
Not your greatest idea.
On top of that, at this point you believe it’s just best to leave things as they are—you probably shouldn’t decide for any of them (if they even like you back) and destroy a lifelong friendship with this, right?
“Oh, I wish I knew… well I do know why and how I ended up here but… I’m sorry. For all the mess,” you admit.
Jisung looks at you confused, one of his eyebrows raised up, “What mess?”
Maybe you should do it in the same way you rip off a bandaid. Quickly with the least pain possible.
“I… I think I have a crush on both of you and I’m sorry about it,” you admit. It’s out. You said it. But you don’t feel any better.
“You’re sorry? Why would anybody be sorry about having a crush on me, Lee Minho?” Minho says with a scoff, crossing his arms in front of his chest which brings your focus right back to them. Shit, what you’d do to have them wrapped around your throat, being in a chokehold, while Jisung is in front of you, kissing you. Being sandwiched between these two is one of your darkest fantasies after all.
Get it together, Y/N. You’re talking to your friends.
“Because I like both of you. And I’m putting you in a shitty situation.”
Jisung gets a bit closer. “Why is that?”
“Because, well, sooner or later I have to choose, so it’s probably best if I just leave you two to stay best friends and not opt for any of you,” you explain.
The younger one is standing in front of you now, big puppy eyes looking at you. He reaches for a strand of your hair, just to tuck it behind your ear. Your heart does a flip, a turn, a whole pirouette. Fuck. What the hell is going on?
“Why would you do this if you can have us both?”
Minho’s voice is close. Dangerously close. Then you feel his breath linger on your neck, realising he’s standing right behind you.
“Are… a-are you guys serious?”
Minho snickers, “I’m usually not the type to, but I would share you with my best friend.”
Earth stops. Your eyes are widening and for a second you believe your heart gives out.
“Hm,” Jisung starts, “same for me. You’re too precious to the both of us. We like you too, Y/N. More than just a friend.”
“He’s right, princess,” you hear from behind you. Suddenly, Minho’s hands are on your waist. “We will find a way to make this work, yeah?”
“Okay,” you breathe out as if you’re functioning on autopilot. “Yeah, we can. But… can we start where we left off… I-I mean, where I left off with the two of you?”
Jisung grins, “Of course, darling. Just tell us who you’d like to kiss first.”
“Why don’t we make a game out of this, hm?” Minho suddenly suggests. “How do you feel about being blindfolded, baby? And you’re gonna tell us, who is kissing you?”
You nod, before you consent with words and five minutes later you find yourself in Minho’s bedroom with him and his roommate. You’re sprawled out on the mattress, your vision blinded, caused by the black fabric that’s covering your eyes right now. The atmosphere is tense, your heart is beating out of your chest—nothing new by now.
“Is it okay if we touch you?” you hear the older one speak.
“Yes, please,” you say, sounding even more desperate than what you’ve anticipated.
You feel hands carefully grazing over your thighs, your skirt riding up in the process but not too much to reveal anything hiding underneath. The person comes closer, until you sense their hot breath against your nose. Two fingers tilt your head upwards and then you suddenly feel lips pressed against your own. You immediately give in, enjoying the kiss you’re granted. 
The man smiles against you, before a chuckle slips out of him, divulging his identity.
“Jisung?” you ask with the same smirk on your face.
“You’ve got me there. Wanna go further? And guess again?”
You know exactly what he means. And the idea arouses you, to say the least, so you tell them to keep going. You sense another pair of lips on your own, soon realising it’s Minho since he’s a bit more gentle. You can’t lie, you enjoy how eager Jisung was but it also made it easier to find out who was behind that first kiss.
Meanwhile, it must be the younger one whose hands are currently wandering under your skirt, lifting it upwards and you let him, even parting your legs for him. He makes quick work when his fingers come closer to your very much drenched panties, grazing over the ruined fabric. Minho is still kissing you, getting a bit more passionate, while his hands are on your sides, wandering upwards to squeeze one of your tits lightly.
Jisung’s fingers wander underneath your laces, before he slides them aside and adjusts his position. You keep kissing his roommate, still very much blindfolded but this electrifies you even more. Two digits dip into your wet hole, spreading you open, preparing you for what’s yet to come.
And then Minho’s tongue slips inside your mouth, while Jisung’s brushes over your aching cunt. 
You can’t believe it either, what’s happening here. But you allow the sensation to take over you.
Immediately clenching around Jisung’s fingers, a loud moan passes your lips, getting caught by Minho who’s still kissing you as if he’s gasping for air and you’re his oxygen.
“Ji– Fuck–“ you whimper, when he finds that very certain spot inside you.
Minho stops kissing you. His fingers wrap around your throat. “You’re moaning his name, while I’m kissing you?”
“I’m… I’m sorry, Min, but he’s making me feel so good,” you decide to tease your friend. You feel Jisung chuckle against your heat and in an instant, the mattress shifts and suddenly both men are between your thighs. It’s impossible to differentiate now. You believe it’s still Jisung’s fingers inside of you and perhaps Minho’s tongue making out with your clit, but it could also be the other way around.
You enter a state of trance, arching your back as you allow the sensation to captivate your entire body and soul. It’s like you’re tasting heaven, reaching a new level of spirituality.
And then, as if they’ve planned it—they pull away from you. Just leaving you there. You obviously let out a whine, already on the verge of complaining, before one of them scoots closer again, placing the softest kiss on your forehead, letting you melt into a puddle.
The man scoots away again and then you hear one of them speak, “Ji, condoms are inside the top drawer.”
“Wait–“ you interrupt them.
“You wanna stop, angel?” the younger one asks, getting back on the bed
“N-No, it’s just… I’m on the pill… we can also not use condoms, if you are alright with that,” you tell them because you mean it. You trust your two friends so much.
“Absolutely,” you hear them say at once.
“The blindfold stays on?” Minho asks.
“Yeah…” You’re a bit ashamed that this is arousing you so much.
“Good. What’s your colour?” he adds.
“Green, one hundred per cent green.”
You hear them chuckle, before one of them—you still don’t know who—positions himself between your legs. You suppose they must have taken their clothes off by now. Two hands are caressing your thighs, before you feel your drenched panties getting guided down your body, leaving you naked underneath the skirt.
“Are you ready, baby?” the younger one speaks and you wonder if that’s a sign to tell you that he’s gonna be the one to start.
“Please… just one of you, fuck me already.”
They laugh again and you suddenly feel the tip of someone’s cock circle around your entrance, teasing you further. Perhaps it’s truly Jisung. He enters you, centimetre after centimetre, stretching you out wonderfully. He’s definitely above average, you can tell once he starts thrusting into you.
“And, who is it, hm?” Minho asks.
“How about we turn this into a game, Min?”
You try to pay attention to their breathing, trying to figure out which one of them is filling you so well.
“Sure, tell me what you mean,” the older one says, while all movements suddenly come to a halt.
“Only if Y/N manages to guess correctly, she deserves to cum.”
Oh, God. You sure hope you’ll win this game. You are sure you won’t be able to handle another one of their edging games.
“Tell us your colour, princess.”
“Green. Green, Green, Green.”
They chuckle, before you sense your body moving again, getting railed into oblivion as you try your best to find out who is making you feel that good.
You’ve always expected Minho to be on the bigger side but then again you’d also think of him to be someone to allow Jisung to go first. Fuck. How are you supposed to solve this riddle?
Feeling yourself getting closer to your own high doesn’t make this any easier, especially when the other man gets closer and starts playing with your clit.
Take a guess, Y/N. It’s a fifty-fifty chance.
“Minho?”
None of them answers in order to not reveal who’s who.
“It’s you, Min, isn’t it?”
You hear the man who’s inside of you chuckle, “Whenever you’re ready, cum for me, princess.”
And oh, you do. All over his cock, while your legs are shaking like crazy, as you come undone. They both help you through your climax, praising words entering your ears while this indescribable sensation takes over you.
Minho feels himself twitching inside of you and after you encourage him, he spills his seeds into your warm wet hole, marking you as his. He slips out and you suddenly feel two hands tugging at the blindfold. The fabric gets pulled off.
“You’re so good for us, angel,” Jisung says, smiling at you. “Another round?”
You smile back, as you reply, “I’d love to.”
The younger one positions himself between your legs, while you notice Minho getting closer. He’s lying next to you, placing a gentle kiss on your cheek.
“You’re such a good girl for us,” he encourages you, as his friend slowly enters you, pushing Minho’s seeds back inside.
You let out a gasp, accompanied by a moan, as you beg him to start moving. He follows suit, doing as he’s told, when he stretches you out so deliciously. Jisung is a bit faster from the beginning but you don’t mind. Of course, he’s even carrying that mischievous look on his face again.
His roommate begins kissing your neck, while his hand wanders between your legs, two fingers finding your clit. You’re sensitive to his touch, allowing pleasure to take over you, while his friend keeps pounding into you.
“I’ve always known that you’d be a whore for our cocks,” Jisung grunts, his hands reaching under your thighs, before he’s hovering them over his shoulders to rut even deeper into you.
Minho grins, while he keeps touching and kissing you, “Greedy little thing, couldn’t even decide, hm? One cock isn’t enough for you, huh?”
Tears are pricking on your lower lash lines because they’re making you feel that good.
“She always needs more, Min. Can’t ever get enough,” Jisung teases you.
“Ji– fuck, Min–“ is all that makes it past your lips, brain completely shut off by now.
“That’s it baby, scream our names like that. Let everyone know who’s making you feel that good,” Minho whispers, as his kisses turn softer again. The duality of this man is unbelievable.
“It’s you, Minho a-and Jisung, it’s you,” you manage to let out, before your second orgasm takes over you. It’s even more intense than the first one but both men help you through it once more.
Jisung asks as well, where you want him to cum and he receives the same answer as his roommate, before he fills you up to the brim with his juices, letting them mix together with your own ones and Minho’s.
He glides out of you, watching the liquids run down on the bedsheets and everything that happens after this is a blur. They take care of you, run a warm bath and clean you. All while being so gentle your heart threatens to combust for real this time.
Thirty minutes later, you’re put into pyjamas and tucked under the blankets, both men lying next to you.
They kiss you goodnight, before you doze off to sleep.
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Thank you lots for reading 🩷 ENJOYED THIS STORY? Go back to the main part and leave a comment, reblog or send an ask my way if you feel like it! I’d appreciate it so much. 🌷
© j-One25 2024 | copying, translating or stealing my work is prohibited
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arnamantle · 1 year
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Can a house be haunted even while it burns down?
A not-so-hypothetical question in a world with Embergeists – spirits so mournful or vindictive that their very ectoplasm combusts, setting their haunts ablaze. Players enter the scene as a brigade of Burnaways – mercenaries who must act as fire fighters, detectives, and ghost hunters to stop the Embergeists by means of force or empathy.
A near-future retropunk setting and “grimhope” tone puts focus on narrative growth, contrasted with a unique “level-down” advancement mechanic in a lightweight, accessible system geared toward one-shots and short campaigns.  
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🔥 Who said anything about getting stronger? BURNAWAY eschews traditional TTRPG power up mechanics. In a line of work where retirement or death are the only prospects, it’s up to the characters to process their own Grief and avoid suffering permanent Burns at the end of each session.
🔥 Acknowledgement of hope is just as important as the acceptance of Grief. Characters may build Bonds with each other, relationships forged in literal fire, and gain mechanical benefits from their evolving interpersonal dynamics.
🔥 BURNAWAY adapts to how your group wants to game, providing a full ruleset for traditional, GM-lead or collaborative GM-less play.
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dairy-farmer · 4 months
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Tim's first love was a boy.
And he wasn't just any boy, no. This boy had blue eyes the same shade of the sky. This boy spent more time in the air than he did the ground. This boy was a bird meant to fly free forever and always. Tim's first love was a boy named Dick Grayson. *The* Dick Grayson. The kind, the gentle, the passionate.
Tim's first brush with love was... an experience. It felt exhilirating, exciting, terrifying in a fun sort of way. It was an addictive drug that made Tim confused.
He did everything for him. Praised him. Adored him. Loved him. Anything a tiny boy the fresh age of 9-13 could do. He did.
But that wasn't enough to make Tim Dick's first love.
Tim's first love was Dick Grayson. And that ended in a tragedy. (For Tim at least. For Dick, it was one of those awkward little things where you gently tell a little kid 'no, I won't marry you and have babies with you. Why? Because you're a baby yourself.')
...
Tim's second love was also a boy.
This time, his eyes were a shade of green-blue. The color of the lake that Tim used to play around in when he was smaller. This boy was in every way the opposite of the first. He'd been melded with the earth so many times, he could be considered more rock than person. He was fierce, a fiery flame that would only grow stronger the more you try to extinguish him. He was emotional, a poet, a lover. If Dick Grayson were a nobleman, gently whispering promises of love into a maiden's ear, then this boy was a soldier promising his loyalty to her out and loud, kneeling on the ground while she stood on the balcony.
Tim's second love was a boy named Jason Todd.
If Tim's first love was a tragedy, then his second love was a *catasrophe*.
'I'm done with love.' Tim decides to himself as he blurrily watches red hood smear Tim's own blood on the walls of his home.
'So. Done with it.' He thinks, finally fainting with the echoes of red hood's laughter in his ears like some twisted little lullabye.
...
Tim's third love came as a surprise. She was a careless thing, hopeful and determined to be a defender of justice. It was cute. Clumsily cute. Like watching a tiny pup play around in a new environment. His feelings for her came out of nowhere- like the brick she used to hit his face the first time they met. She was pretty. Everything about her was pretty. From her hair to her laugh to her smile to her- well. Everything.
She liked him too, actually. They lasted a while. But trust and communication got in the way. She was someone who spoke with actions more than words and... turns out Tim doesn't quite get her actions that well. Not that he wasn't someone to blame as well, turns out trust was much more important in a relationship than both knew.
It was a puppy love kinda thing they had. Something they'd look back to once in a while. Meant to meet but not meant to be.
Bummer.
Oh well, c'est la vie for a vigilante. He chose this life, and nothing would make him regret it.
...
Tim's fourth love almost made him regret the cool vigilante life style.
But. To be fair.
Batman made everyone regret something at least once in their life.
Tim should've known falling for the 'dark and brooding' kind of guy would only end in a disaster. Batman, despite being the greatest detective on earth, saw absolutely no signs that Tim liked him like that. It was so frustrating! Why on earth would Tim fall for someone so! So!! Bruce!!
Bruce was womanizer, someone who caught every lady's eye everywhere he went no matter who he dressed up as (Even as Matches Malone he caught some eyes. Ugh. It's like crushing on a celebrity that you personally knew. Jealousy was so not a good color on Tim.)
Women loved him, so was it really a surprise when Bruce got with Selena? His on-again-of-again girlfriend that kinda treated Tim like some kid. He wasn't even Bruce's kid! Why! Ugh.
So, like a stubborn man who decided to get better taste in crushes. Tim's fourth love ended in bitter tears and a promise to do better.
...
Tim's fifth love was somewhat expected. Half the hero population already considered them dating, actually. His fifth love was electrifying in an exciting way. They knew each other too well. Tim had Kon's entire person memorized and Kon had his heartbeat memorized. Kon was a breath of fresh air compared to his previous crushes. He knew exactly what Tim was thinking, he trusted in him wholeheartedly. He loved Tim in every way that mattered. They liked the same things, made fun of each other's tastes in a way that doesn't hurt. Kon felt like Tim's old teddy bear Mr. Honeypot, who Tim told all his secrets to and loved dearly in that nostalgic, "you'll always be my teddy bear" way.
So that's why they didn't work out. Because Kon will always be Tim's clone-boy and Tim will always be Kon's Robin. Being with Kon would feel like getting married to your best friend in your late 30s. They were each other's safe option, the last choice. Tim just. Didn't like Kon that way no matter how hard he tried. It felt too much like making out with an alive mr. Honeypot. Tainting something sweet and innocent.
Tim's fifth love ended in an awkward goodbye. (For tim at least. For Kon, it was the most heartbreaking heartbreak he had ever felt.)
...
Tim's final love was. Well. It was funny for one thing. Tim's final love was someone who he thought he'd never get along with- much less get with. He was a spiteful man, with vocabulary far too old for his age. He was someone who had a sharp tongue to partner with his quick wit. Emerald eyes that glimmer in the dead of night and soften once it was on Tim. Tanned skin that looked so good mixed with Tim's pure white bedsheets. Muscles that could go for days and a gentle laugh that had Tim's heart beating at an odd pace.
Tim always knew he liked older people. Even steph had a few months ahead of him. He liked being the younger in the relationship. The only person he wasn't technically the youngest in a relationship with was Kon, but that's because Kon doesn't even have double digits in age. (Kon joked once that his birthday should've been on febuary 29th, that way he'd never reach double digits.)
So it came as a surprise when Tim found himself falling for Damian of all people.
Yeah. Tim likes the brat.
But in his defense. Tim has never felt more pampered. Sure it wasn't getting with an older guy, but it sure *felt* like it. Damian loved to do everything for Tim. Acts of service. How gentlemanly of him. He massaged Tim's feet, fed him grapes, did everything Tim asked. He even led during sex which. Wow. Tim has never felt that good, by the end of it all his legs were shaking and he was fucked literally senseless. He had to be carried for a day and a half cause he lost the feel in his own body. Damian cherished him, as if he was some precious jewel that belonged in a treasurecove guarded by a dragon or something.
Damian always had this whole smug face and smug aura whenever he paraded Tim around. It was like the cat that got the canary. Tim doesn't really get it, but it was a cute expression on his face so Tim let him parade his body around ('really, it should've been the other way around' Tim thinks. 'I should be showing you off instead')
Tim's last love is the best love he's ever felt. It was amazing. It was heaven. It was. Jesus. It was Damian. Isn't that enough of an explanation?
...
"So. Y'think baby bird knows we like him yet?" Jason nudges Dick as they watch Damian twirl Tim around in the air.
Dick shakes his head, smiling softly at the scene. "Nope. Tim doesn't have a single clue. But, to be fair, he did like us before though. Guess it just wasn't time."
Jason blinks at him. "Y'mean he liked you. Don't think pretty bird there ever liked me." He scoffed.
Dick smirks at him. "Oh? Jaybird, didn't you know?"
Jason rolls his eyes at him. "I think I'd know if Tim had a crush on me."
Dick nods. "Tower incident that's when he stopped."
Jason blinked.
"He what."
Dick shrugs at him, turning around to purposefully miss Damian kissing Tim on the mouth. "Yeah. I don't think liking him same time he liked us would make anything different though. I was too old, you were... you. And Bruce is. Bruce."
Jason gasped. "Oh my god, he liked Bruce too?"
Dick nods, biting back a shit-eating grin. "And guess what? He almost said yes to Kon."
Jason dramatically gasps, both hands coming up to his face. "You mean! They weren't ever together!"
Stephanie jumps on Jason's back out of nowhere. "We're talking about Tim? Puh-lease. As if any one of you even had a chance with him. Least I got to try him out~" she purred.
Jason pushes her away, laughing lightly. "Yeah yeah. He's with the demon-brat now. But I'm calling dibs if they break up!"
Dick punches his arm. "Too bad, I called dibs first!"
!!!!!!!! this was so good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! all of tim's loves being the bats and how they ultimatly disappointed or hurt him- except for kon and damian. and with damian tim was finally able to find real reciprocal love❤️❤️❤️❤️!!! poor kon though, that tim was his most devestating and most heartbreaking loss💔!
but damian being the one who loves tim back, who treats him well, who makes tim happy!!!!
even with his brothers calling dibs in the end, no way will damian ever let tim slip through his fingers like they all did!!!!
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ladymarycrawley · 1 year
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You make it feel like Christmas- Mason Mount
Request: I was thinking something like you and Mase got recently engaged and you are in your little love bubble still but now all his family is coming to spend christmas at yours and Mase’ house. A lot of fluff and family time where Mason has a really special present for you, a Cartier bracelet ❤ (as requested by that angel of @raremasey​ )
Warning: as the request says a lot of fluff lmao (His Lapland reel helps making the atmosphere even better!)
Tag list: @masonxomount​ @chelsealover​ @masterclassbaby @johnstonesfc
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Christmas is a holiday that is meant to be celebrated with all your loved ones, eating and opening the presents you got for each other. That year you were chosen as the guest for all the Christmas celebrations and what made it even more special was the fact that it was you and Mason's first Christmas as fiancés since he asked your hand in marriage a couple of months ago.
"No Mase, I have to go. I still have to get the beds ready in the guest room, packing all the presents…"
"Come onnnn, it's 5 minutes only" He whined, squeezing your hips tighter. He was so clingy getting out of bed was always a rather hard task, especially on those cold mornings when the world outside seemed so unwelcoming with that biting chill that would welcome you once out of the bed.
You sighed and gave in, letting him hug you way too close to his chest.
"I also have to cook the whooole dinner" You closed your eyes hoping some spell would hit all the groceries in the fridge so that they would cook themselves so that cooking them wouldn't have been your problem anymore.
"I'll help you" Mason muttered with his lips pressed against your cheekbone.
"Really? Are you feeling okay?" Cooking wasn't exactly one of Mason's greatest skills, he was a disaster to be fair so him offering his help was something you weren't quite used to.
"Yeah, I'll just follow what you're saying, it can't be that hard I guess"
You giggled, turning on your left side to face him: he still had that adorable just woken up expression on his face, his dishevelled hair, his slightly swollen eyes. He was perfect and he was yours and not to be too cheesy but with him and his joyful personality it felt like Christmas everyday to you.
You leaned forward to cup his face and kiss him right on the lips.
"You'll be like my Xmas elf"
"That's so romantic" You both giggled before sharing another kiss. "Come on, let me go"
Mason finally let go of his grip on you so you could go and start preparing all that had to be done before the arrival of your boyfriend's family. You loved them to pieces so you just wanted to give them the best Christmas ever, making them feel at ease in your own house as they did everytime they would welcome you to theirs.
As you got up Mason couldn't resist the urge to squeeze your butt, making you wince and giggle.
"Don't do that in front of your family"
"I'll do even worse"
"Don't you dare" You chuckled walking away from your shared bedroom.
If Mason, at the beginning of the day, thought that you two could have made the most out of your day together as it wasn't something that happened very often, he had to change his mind when he saw you speeding away from one corner of the house to the other to prepare all the things that had to be ready before his family would join you.
You knew your day would've been hectic but you didn't imagine it could have been that hectic: you only stopped to eat something quickly and then started running around the house again. 
“We can’t even eat in peace??” He asked, rather annoyed, as he saw you getting up and bringing your plate to the sink to wash it in a hurry and then go back to your Christmas duties.
“You can take all the time you want to eat, babe. I still have to prepare the bedrooms and check if I have all the presents” You said leaving a kiss on the top of his head.
Mason liked Christmas time a lot, that year even more as he got to spend it with his favourite people in the world, that is to say you and his family, so he really was looking forward to all the memories you would have made together but he didn't like seeing you getting that stressed over something that should have been joyful and not that frustrating.
“I already told you there’s no need to impress anyone. The presents you bought are fine, they’ll love those”
“I just saw the cutest thing for Summer! Look” You got closer to him, ignoring what he had just said, to show him a princess castle play tent, with lights and all.
“She doesn’t need this”
“That’s perfect! Jaz and her can enjoy some mummy-daughter time in there, that’s so cute!” You didn’t think twice and pressed the buy now button to get the most perfect gift for what had now become your niece too.
“Thanks for caring about my opinion, that moves me” Mason giggled, reacting sarcastically to the way you didn’t take into consideration his point of view.
You giggled, placing your head against his.
“Sorry babe but we don’t have much time to see all the presents in the world and then decide”
“Yeah but it’s like the fourth present you buy for her??”
“The third actually” You corrected him, slightly bitter.
He rolled his eyes. “Oh, I’m sorry then”
“Would you mind washing these dishes while I go check the other gifts?” You asked him as he was already standing before the sink.
“Sure, hun” The love you had for that man couldn’t be described as it was so strong. As a thank you gesture you placed a kiss behind his ear. “But I want to see what you got to the others as well”
“Okay” You giggled as you left the kitchen to go and take the list you made to make sure everyone had their own presents. “So…”
“A paper list?? Who are you?? Santa Claus’ assistant?? Or Santa Claus’ in the flesh??”
“Ha ha you’re so funny, Mount. Now shut up and listen”
You started listing everything you bought for Tony, Debbie, Jaz, Lewis, Summer, Poppy, Harley and Stacey hoping your soon to be husband would have agreed with your ideas, stopping when your eyes felt on his name as his presents should have obviously been a surprise.
“How much did you spend to get all these things??” He asked you, blurting his eyes out in shock. He was more than happy that you cared so much about his family but he didn’t want you to waste all your money on such things: he was perfectly aware of the fact that you didn’t earn as much as he did (since your job was much more humble than his which made your paycheck way lower) but never he didn’t made you feel bad about it as, if it was for him, he would have bought you the whole world and making you leave your job once and for all.
“It’s none of your business”
“Y/N you didn’t have to use all your salary for my family. A present each would have been more than enough”
You rolled your eyes, putting that paper away.
“What did you get me?” He asked in a childish tone, making you chuckle.
“Nothing” You stepped closer to him, bringing your hand to scratch the back of his neck.
“What do you mean nothing?”
“I’m your gift” You smirked before capturing his lips in a loving  kiss.
Mason smiled against your lips.
“That doesn’t count”
“What? You’re being kinda rude!”
“I’m not! It’s not fair you bought my family hundreds of present and not even a single thing to me”
“I’ll give you my present when you’ll give me mine”
“What if I’ll give you mine in the bedroom later?” His kinky joke made you blush, earning a cheeky smile from him.
“You should wait for Christmas day at least”
“Nope, I want the whole family to see what I bought you”
“Mason!”
He laughed wholeheartedly, looking at you leaving the kitchen to go and resume your work.
“Where are you going??” He shouted at you.
“You’re wasting my time, Mount!” You shouted back at him, checking the cooking book your mother gave you to write down a draft of what would’ve been your Christmas menu.
“Oh is that so? You should have thought about it a couple of months ago, love!”
Those little banterings were one of your favorite things in your relationship, it felt as if they brought you closer and made everything even funnier.
“Your bank account was more appealing”
In a matter of minutes you found your fiancé glaring at you and you couldn’t help but burst out in a fit of laughter.
“You little…”
“What??”
That was the moment when your little wrestling game started off, where you would try to playfully fight him off your body as he would crush you with his weight. 
“Let me go!!”
“Not before this!” He started inflicting you his torture which consisted in tickling you until you started crying ad screaming for him to stop and have mercy on you.
He got up from the floor taking you with him in his arms, pressing his lips against your forehead.
“What’s next on your Christmas to-do list?”
"The presents for Poppy and Harley!" Mason brushed his hand over his face desperately, giggling.
The day before the long awaited day, Christmas eve, finally arrived and to say you were stressed was an understatement: you kept looking at the clock to check how much time you had left before all your guests would grace you with their presence that should have happened later that day.
"Where the fuck is that fucking -"
"Y/N calm down hun"
The last thing you needed was him saying pointless things at you such as calm down, he wasn’t being helpful at all.
You got your head out of the cupboard you were looking in for the mixer you needed to make a sauce for the roast you were thinking of doing as part of the Christmas menu for your guests.
Perfectionism has always been one of your most prominent personality traits so that being the first Christmas lunch you would have hosted at yours, you just wanted to make everything impeccable. But at what cost?
“I’ve been looking for it for the last hour and I needed that for -”
“I know but calm down, I’ll help you with the cooking”
“They’ll be here in a couple of hours and I still have to take a shower, get ready and -”
“Babe, look at me” Mason took your face in his hands to force you to look at him in order to instill some calm in you who were clearly having a hard time. “Everything’ll be alright”
You let out a loud breath nodding at his encouraging words.
“You already made a good impression on them, they already love you so you don’t need all this tension”
Even though you knew Mason wasn’t exactly a chef in the making you let him help you prepare the roast turkey as well as the appetizers you planned on doing. The pudding was almost ready so you had one less dish to think of at least.
You were so grateful for him as he never failed to show you his endless love and support, helping you to stay sane in that case.
"See? I'm already husband material" He stated quite proud of himself while cutting the veggies into tiny pieces.
That line made you blush and smile widely, he was right: he was more than ready to become your husband and you couldn’t wait to call him that.
The way he made you smile warmed his heart so he let the knife fall on the chopping board to come and wrap his hands around your waist, hugging you from behind and kissing you, a soft and meaningful kiss against your temple.
"I'm so proud of you, it will be the best Xmas ever"
"Well, I hope so"
The Mounts arrived at yours in the afternoon, bringing some food Debbie cooked for you all to eat for dinner. You were buzzing to meet them as you got along since the first moment you met them, they've always been nice and caring to you.
Among all, the one who was the happiest with having you there was Summer who ran in your arms as soon as they entered your house.
"Auntie Y/N!!" She hugged you as tight as she could, showing you all her love and how much she missed you.
"Hey baby! I missed you so much!"
"I missed you too"
"You have a lot of things to tell me, missy"
"Yes" She took your hand in hers and pulled you towards your big sofa to have a sit and have a chat with you.
"Look at her, it looks like she found her old friend" Lewis noticed, making everyone laugh. Needless to say, Mason was so happy in seeing two of the most important people in his life being that close. He couldn't wait for the moment you would have your own children. 
That encounter was also the first one between you and Stacey and her babies, Poppy and Hafley, since they lived in Australia and meeting them hadn't been possible till that day. It was emotional and intense.
After sharing a much needed dinner where you could catch up on what had been happening in everyone's life lately, you all went on talking with your warm tea in your hands as the fireplace you wanted so badly to have in your house gave the perfect atmosphere. 
Mason sat next to you, attached to your hip to be fair, laying kisses against your temple, stroking your thighs covered in black tights lightly, squeezing your hand in his and raising it to kiss your knuckles every now and then. All those gestures didn’t go unnoticed to his older brother who didn't miss the opportunity to make fun of him for how clingy he was.
"Hey bro, no one will take her away from you, you know that, don't you?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Let her breathe for a moment, you're so clingy" 
Mason turned crimson while you tried to giggle the embarrassment away, gently stroking Summer's hair, who was sleeping in your lap.
"Shut up, leave me alone"
"He's just in love, Lew"
"Thanks mum"
"You seriously make me wanna puke sometimes" Lewis muttered, loving how good you're making him feel but loving to mock his brother as much.
"So…I'm gonna be an uncle again soon enough"
You and Mason glared at him as Jasmine, Debbie and Tony widened their eyes moving their gaze from Lewis to you.
Mason then let out a laugh, brushing his hand against your stomach. 
"Maybe it's already here"
"MASON" It was time for you to blush in embarrassment, batting your fiancé's hand away.
"What? I guess that's how things will go"
"There isn't anyone in here at the moment" You snapped back, making your brother-in-law crack a chuckle.
Soon after Jaz got up to take Summer to bed and you all followed her to go to sleep too, not before making sure everyone found their own bedrooms and asking them three times at least if everything's okay and whether they needed something.
You let out a loud sigh when you closed your bedroom door behind you, raising your gaze to find Mason's, who was smiling.
He walked closer to you, placing his hands on your hips and pulling his lips closer to your ear.
"I can put a baby in you if you want"
"Mase!" You tried not to laugh as you pushed him away from your body. "Not yet"
"Oh come on! That would be a good Xmas present"
"You're crazy" You shook your head, before leaving him there to go to your ensuite bathroom.
"Yes, crazy for you"
"Stop it" You giggled, locking yourself in the bathroom. 
When you got back from your night routine, ready to have a good night of sleep, you cooed as your eyes caught sight of Mason who had fallen asleep with his phone in his hands, his head dangling.
You got closer and gently tapped your hand on his shoulder to wake him up.
"Mhh? What??"
"Put on your pajamas and get under the blankets" You sweetly instructed him as he nodded and sighed heavily.
The truth was that he was too lazy to get changed so he just took off his hoodie and put himself under the blankets, wrapping his arms around you, making you giggle as you kissed his forehead. 
"Nighty night"
"Goodnight, my love"
The next day, Christmas day, you woke up to his gentle caresses, his fingertips dancing along your neck and shoulders, brushing your locks behind your ear. Those gentle touches made you feel like the most loved person as his cuddles never failed to make you feel special, like you were the only girl in the world.
You tried to suppress a smile that, sadly for you, he noticed so you couldn’t go on faking being asleep to enjoy his cuddles in peace.
“I know you’re awake” He whispered cheekily, leaning forward to kiss your nose.
You let out an annoyed grunt that made him smile as he pressed another peck on the spot between your eyes.
“Merry Christmas, babe”
“Merry Christmas”
You spent a good while in silence, your foreheads against one another, your noses brushing as you stayed there with your eyes closed, revelling in the quietness of your own room before the loudness of the day ahead would have started.
But that peace didn’t last long as you heard someone cracking your door open, followed by the sound of a lively tiptoeing on the floor.
“Uncle Mase?” That was Summer who was probably doing her tour around the house to wake everyone up as the day she had been dreaming about for the whole year had finally arrived.
Mason sniffled looking down at her and smiled lovingly.
“Hey baby, happy Christmas. Do you want to come here?”
Summer nodded happily as Mason took her in his arms so she placed herself between you two to get her beloved cuddles: all the gentle touches and kisses were for her now.
“Let’s go see what Santa Claus brought us!” She jumped out of the bed, eager to go and see her presents, dragging her uncle along.
"Auntie Y/N, come on!" She nearly yelled at you, making her silly uncle laugh.
"Come on auntie, get up!" He said, doing a perfect impression of his niece hence getting a middle finger from you. 
Once you find the strength to leave the comfort of your bed, you walk downstairs to find everyone already sitting by the fireplace, ready to open the presents. 
It felt so good seeing everyone enjoy what you got for them, especially Summer who would have liked to spend the whole day sitting in that pink tent, playing with the dolls you gifted her.
As for Mason, you bought him a vintage watch making him whine about the fact that he didn’t like you spending all that money for him and then you thanked him a thousand times when you saw the designer bag and the aquamarine necklace he got you.
"Here's another thing for you"
"What? You know what I told you about presents"
"Said the one who bought ten presents each!"
"And they were all good presents!" Debbie stated, making you smile as it meant you did a good job in trying to please everyone. 
Mason handed you a little red shopping bag that read Cartier in it and you widened your eyes out in shock: you still weren't used to him spoiling you with luxury goods, no matter how many times you told him he didn't have to spend all that money for you.
"Open it"
"Mason, for God's sake…"
"Wait for what's inside" Jaz urged you, wiggling her eyebrows.
When you finally opened the red box finding the golden bracelet there was inside you breathed out, shivering a little for the emotion of the moment. 
"Are you crazy?? You didn’t have to buy me this!"
"Shut up" 
"Don't tell me to shut up"
"Why, Mase? I've told you so many times you don't have to buy me expensive things" You whined fiddling with your newest piece of jewellery as you couldn't stop looking at its perfect shape and golden surface. "You already got me a bag, that necklace I saw in the window the other day…and now this"
The Chelsea midfielder tilted your face up, placing his hand under your chin as you were met with his loving smile.
"I'm serious, Mase"
"I'm serious too, Y/N. I love you and I want to give you all the presents in the world, I want to spoil you cause you're always so supportive with me and I just want to give you small things that can make you happy, or even happier"
"But I'm always happy with you"
"Shut up" He hissed on your lips before kissing you, his hands placed at either sides of your face by way of hiding you, not to let anyone of the present spoil the little moment you were sharing.
"Guys, we're still here you know"
Mason threw a cushion at Lewis, making everyone laugh.
"Take a closer look at it"
You looked at him with raised eyebrows, clueless about what he was hinting at. He smirked and gestured for you to move the bracelet around to look better at the inner part of it. When you realised what he meant you gasped, as joyful tears started staining your face: he had engraved such a simple but meaningful declaration on it and, from now on, you would have worn it forever.
"Mase I - you -" No words that would have come out of your mouth would have been enough to thank him and express how you were feeling.
"Yeah, I love you too" A toothy grin appeared on his prince-like features, as he pulled you in to kiss your forehead, a long and loving kiss.
Mason himself was already a gift for you so you didn't need him to spend any extra money for you, he was your happiness and you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your Christmases with him.
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The wallymart
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diabolus1exmachina · 11 months
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BMW M1 Turbo (the extraordinary case of the BMW M1 with 1000 hp)
Ignore the livery. Or don’t ignore it. Like with every other Jägermeister racing car, it might be hard to actually walk past this orange beast without giving the standout paint job at least one glance. It was designed to attract attention, just how Günter Mast — the man that gave his OK to race cars with the famous stag on the bonnet — intended. The truth of the matter is, however, that this particular car’s convoluted history is as complicated as the story of the BMW M1 itself. Therefore this car is not what it seems to be, as the orange Jägermeister livery stems from the imagination of the man that rebuilt the car, the legendary M1 whisperer Fritz Wagner. And if you ask anyone at Jägermeister headquarters about the car, they will potentially reply with a polite letter from their legal department. To paraphrase Samuel Beckett: there’s nothing funnier than tragedy. And so, the story of the BMW M1 could be perceived as one of the automotive world’s funniest. The car was originally designed with the ambition to create the greatest, mid-engined racing car of all time. One that would beat Porsche’s dominating 935 in the all-important Group 5. A masterpiece made of speed and German reliability which, in reality, became a car that had to be reverse engineered to be sold for the road. All because of changes in racing rules and homologation, which stipulated how many cars had to be produced before a particular model was allowed to hit the track. The production number of 400 cars — which seems so minuscule by today’s standards — turned out to be the first problem on a long list of unfolding disasters.
In essence, the life of this beautiful, light, well-made machine that had been designed by Giorgetto Giugiaro, who reworked Paul Bracq’s original prototype, was plagued by bad luck and bad decisions. The fact that Lamborghini — who were supposed to produce it at their factory — went bust because of copyright fraud and embezzlement of funds didn’t help. However, it was the rushed solution to disperse production all over Europe that was the final nail in the coffin. Marchese built the car's tube frame, TIR molded the fiberglass, Italdesign mated the two and installed the interior, then the M1 was shipped from Italy to Stuttgart, where Baur would in­stall the BMW hardware, after which in Munich BMW Motor­sports would do the final touches and quality control. It made the M1 almost a quarter more expensive than any equivalent Ferrari or Lambo sold at the time. Case closed.
British generals in the second world war would often joke that Germans were not very good when it came to Plan B. This might be true. In the end, even if BMW’s head of Motorsport Jochen Neerpasch, the brilliant man that he is, thought of a way to market the M1 with the Procar series, in which F1 drivers like Niki Lauda, Clay Regazzoni, and Nelson Piquet would race the cars against privateers, as a prelude to the weekend's Formula 1 race, too few examples were made for the car to ever officially leave Group 4 as was originally intended. Later on, those teams who managed to finally race in Group 5, years after BMW abandoned the programme in order to enter to F1, found the M1 simply uncompetitive. Even the twin-turbocharged models built by Schnitzer, which developed 800 hp and more from their straight six engines, were plagued by problems. his finally brings us to this particular, rather unusual example. It was allegedly built for the famous Walter Brun racing team, who later on won the Group C World Championship with a Jägermeister-liveried Porsche 956. Brun’s friendship with Paul Rosche, the man who turbocharged the BMW 2002, gave rise to the idea of installing the M88 turbo engine originally planned for the March Group-5 car into a modified M1 Procar chassis wrapped into Group 5 bodywork. However, the car was never raced. Why? Even at BMW no one knows. Particularly good news considering that back in the day, when this 1090 kg machine was put on a dyno, it put out 1000 hp and 930 NM of Torque. A reading obtained just before the machine broke while the car apparently still wanted to keep going. Now in the hands of a new owner who intends to race it regularly, it will have plenty of opportunity to shine. And so a new chapter unfolds…
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deathmetalunicorn1 · 11 months
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Okay, okay, okay... Hear me out-
Yandere Hades, Poseidon, Thor, Beelzebub, Lucifer, (and any opposing deity opponent you can add) vs a horror protagonist (y/n).
A horror protagonist (y/n) that goes to any universe that deals with the cryptic, supernatural and horror, and this (y/n) is very smart and quick with how much experience and time they have experienced being in different horror genre (like the backrooms, slasher, cult, zombie, or end of the world, etc...) universes.
May (y/n) can nonchalantly (with dead fish eyes) say that they've dealt with deities and the supernatural and are successful with the termination, if it means to keep humanity intact then (y/n) will do whatever it takes to take their opponent down.
Thank you for listening, and take your time. 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♂️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♂️
-Having lived through countless scenarios that many would describe as something from a horror movie would sound rough.
-For you, it was any other day.
-You’ve survived against countless slashers, monster, evil spirts, summoned evil deities, at least 2 zombie viruses, faced the end of the world at least six times and you’ve punched the Devil himself in the dick twice.
-You’re pretty sure you could handle a fight against a god.
-When you finally did die, after choking on a chicken wing, you thought Valhalla was the greatest! You got to meet so many famous people, warriors of the past, and you finally thought you could live at least a bit normally.
-You were quickly proven wrong when a Valkyrie, Brunnhilde, asked you to fight for humanity.
-You didn’t have to listen to her whole speech about why you should save humanity, as you had done it multiple times already, what’s the difference between a fight to the death from any other time you had to do it?
-When you walked out, machete on your hip, six knives in your boots, a whip on your opposite hip, two hand guns on your thighs and a sawed off shotgun strapped to your back, you looked ready to kick some ass, but your bored look threw off your opponent.
-He pointed his weapon at you, curious as to why you had such a dead fish eye stare, “Aren’t you concerned about the fate of humanity? Their fate hangs in the balance in this right?”
-You rolled your eyes, popping one hip to the side, “When isn’t humanity’s fate in the balance? Please- between the zombie plagues and world-wide massive disasters I’ve been through, not to mention the primordial deities that threaten to destroy the world every other week, this ain’t anything new for me, sweetie!”
-Hades- He posture relaxed just a bit, “Ahh~ so you’re the one who send back all the demons who escaped from Helheim. I feel that I should thank you for sending them back. The amount of paperwork they cause me is a nightmare itself. However, I am curious what it would take for you to die, since you survived so many nightmares yourself.” You instantly grinned, grabbing your shotgun, “Come and find out then!” the gods were angry at your disrespect to Hades, speaking so casually to him, but Hades wasn’t bothered, in fact he was amused, finding your banter amusing. Your instincts were amazing, able to dodge blows at the last second, hitting him with sudden, surprise blows, the way you moved looked reckless, but the more he fought you, the more he could see this wasn’t the case. You certainly grabbed his attention, and now he wanted to see more, now intent on just incapacitating you in to a draw so he could learn more.
-Poseidon- Your disrespect, calling him sweetie, immediately made his blood boil and he was quick to charge at you, aiming to end this quickly. Your last second dodge made even his own eyes widen before he only just barely blocked your swipe with your machete, sparks flying off the side as the two weapons grinded against each other. You both went back and forth for a while, Poseidon becoming intrigued with your fighting style, when you seemed to be going for defensive you went offensive, and vice versa, so he had no idea when you were actually going to attack! You amused him when you managed to take his weapon but in return he managed to take your shotgun. The two of you paused, realizing what happened before he spoke, “Give me my trident!” you immediately shot back, “Gimme my shotgun back first!” you two went back and forth, as you had been in multiple standoffs like this. Zeus found the exchange hilarious, holding his gut and Poseidon did have to admit your stubbornness was rather impressive, giving you a shade of a grin, he wanted to know what other sides to you there were, right after he got his weapon back.
-Thor- He remembers the day he fought the frost giants, that bloody battle where he defeated them all single-handedly, but he also remembered the aftermath, the amount of destruction left behind, the amount of death. To learn that you were a survivor of so many tragedies made him concerned, hearing about what humanity had been dealing with over the past several years. To eradicate them now, after so much suffering, just seemed cruel to those had survived. He instantly lowered Mjolnir and spoke, his voice carrying, “I forfeit the match! Humanity has dealt with enough! We should do better at protecting them after everything they’ve been through recently!” the uproar was initially loud, furious at him while you stood, arms folded, waiting for the gods to debate as they started listing off everything that had happened and that so many humans had been killed. Many saw it was now unfair to put the state of the Earth on the shoulders who had managed to survive everything. You ended up not fighting Thor, instead shaking his hand, as you were happy to not have to fight, and he asked you out for a drink, wanting to know exactly what all you had survived, curious about your fighting spirit.
-Beelzebub- He was curious about you, wanting to know about what you had survived, anyone who had survived that many near death experiences must be an extraordinary person. He analyzed you as the two of you fought, watching how you easily dodged his blows, used momentum to propel yourself suddenly to the side, showing your fighting instincts, your instincts to survive. Beelzebub wasn’t sure what to make of you, he had been longing for a way to die, forced to live with his curse and with the memories of the friends that he had unknowingly killed. Here you were on the other hand, facing death on the norm, willing to do whatever it takes to survive, willing to laugh in the face of death. He still remembers the news when the Devil said a human had punched him in the dick to defeat him, Beelzebub was pretty sure he broke two ribs from laughing so hard. Seeing your drive, your will to survive, made him want that for himself, he wanted a reason to survive, a reason to live. And you were quickly becoming that reason.
-Lucifer- His eyelid twitched lightly at your answer before he chuckled, “Sassy as ever I see Y/N!” you just beamed at him, your hands on your hips, teasing him with a wink, “Nice to see you too Lucy~” many of the gods were quick to yell at you for your disrespect while Lucifer chuckled lightly, having faced you in the past before, knowing you quite well. Your fight was entertaining, almost like the two of you were playing cat and mouse, throwing out banter between blows, “So what have you been up to since we last fought?” you shrugged, blocking his weapon with your shotgun, “Zombie outbreak, two serial killers, and a creepy clown doll that’s killed at least forty people- oh and California finally had that big earthquake and now it’s an island now! And then of course I died- choking on a chicken wing of all things!” the gods and humans watching could only gawk, hearing what you have gone through, hearing what humanity had gone through, especially so recently! Lucifer chuckled, “It makes our previous fight sound like a cake walk!” the two of you found enjoyment in fighting again, not wanting it to end, and Lucifer wanted to keep you around, you never failed to make him smile.
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milobyelo · 2 years
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Maverick is the greatest Dad (disregarding that one mistake) not only to Bradley -who he officially adopted when the other turned 16 and Carole Bradshaw passed away in a bright San Diego Hospital room- but to his unofficially adopted Dagger kids. Jake had even given him a Father’s Day card last June which is proudly hung up on his kitchen fridge.
But for as much as he loves his kids there’s 12 of them and he’s not had too great a memory since the great head bump accident of ‘89.
Aka Maverick calling his kids the wrong name for 5 minutes
-
“Jake pass me the salt it’s in the storage cabinet”
Javy “Coyote” Machado who had been leaning against the door way for the kitchen while he watched Maverick try and replicate one of his moms dishes- because he was feeling home sick and the older man confidently told him he could replicate it if he had the recipe- simply raised an eyebrow at the mistake.
“I hope you know my name isn’t Jake at this point in our relationship because if not it’s a little concerning”
Maverick just groaned as he leaned his head back before looking at him expectedly
“You know what I meant Javy just go get the god damn salt”
-
Maverick for as little as he knows about football, hosts Sunday football every season because he once caught Jake sulking on the ship because Sunday football started that Sunday and the ship didn’t have a stable internet connection so he had to miss it and since then his kids come and get drunk every Sunday at his house.
All of them were scattered amongst his living room (which used to only have one couch and an arm chair for Ice but has since been reorganized to fit 3 for his many long legged kids) watching some program Bradley had wanted to watch.
Said son was still holding onto the remote and as much as he loved him the game started in 5 minutes and Jake was fidgeting in anxiousness because of the possibility of maybe missing the game for some weird nature show about birds.
“Brigham- no shit, Billy fuck, Bob- BRADLEY”
4 heads turned his way confused at hearing their names and he just sighed annoyed he had to go through 3 different kids before getting to the one he need to talk to
“Damn it Bradley please pass the remote”
His legal son just chuckled before tossing him the remote and letting him change the channel, having been called too many wrong names to count at this point that he was very used to this name game.
Whatever it’s not his fault there are 4 different kids with a name that starts with ‘B’
-
“Natasha I swear to god I do not need glasses you guys are exaggerating, how could I have flown for 30 years if I needed glasses”
His daughter was currently driving him to her optometrist for an eye exam cause she swears that he needs glasses after bumping into his furniture a few too many times to count
“First of all my name is Callie, second of all bob has glasses and can go airborne, and third aging fucks up your eyesight gradually I’m sure you can see fine enough but it’s clearly getting worse and at this point you’d be a danger in the air so shut up and sit back you’re making me panic by leaning forward in the seat like that you child”
If maverick had leaned back and pouted at being scolded by someone half his age and then scowling for accidentally proving her point than that’s between him Callie and god so mind your business Ice I can already hear your loud cackle from up there.
-
Next time it happened may have been the most disastrous time yet because they were currently playing dogfight football and calling the wrong name to catch or pass a ball to him was just asking for a disaster.
“Hey bob, ball!”
His brain did not in fact process that Bob had been 5 feet away from him and looked over in confusion as Jake who was his intended target was still facing the other way when he threw the pass and hit the Blonde square in the back of the head.
The newly injured blonde just looked around pissed while rubbing the back of his head, “Ow what the hell who hit me!”
He watched as 10 other hands pointed in his direction and in a panic pointed at Bradley who had been very offended at the false accusation
When Jake flipped him off he just rubbed his neck and apologized before they resumed the game and not 5 minutes later then hit Bob in the chest when he accidentally called out for Jake, whoops.
-
You would think this was only a verbal issue but unfortunately it turns out he still types in and calls the wrong name in his phone.
Last night he had walked into Bradley’s house hoping to talk to him about organizing thanksgiving when he had found a shirtless Jake Seresin in his son’s lap on the couch and kissing him so passionately that when they pulled away at the sound of the front door opening he saw one sliver of spit connecting their mouths before he backed straight out the door and decided it could wait for the morning
The issue however is that Maverick decided he would be a sensible adult and be mature enough to call Jake and have a proper discussion about him and Bradley, but accidentally typed and clicked on Harvards contact instead of Hangman’s
The man groggily picked up after 4 rings having clearly been woken up by the incoming call from his superior officer, “Hello sir d’ya need something”
“Listen son I like you a lot and I would do anything for the sake of your happiness but last night I saw you and Bradley kissing half naked on his couch and not to assume your relationship with him but I have many questions most importantly what intentions do you have with my son”
The blonde didn’t say anything for a couple seconds but he could hear shuffling so he knew the other was still on the phone
“Sir I did not have sexual relations with that man I would never do that to Jake, are you sure you’re calling the right person”
Only then after hearing his kids clear voice and not the jumbled half asleep croak it was a minute ago does he look down at his phone screen and see ‘Harvard’ written there and a picture of him smiling wide in a birthday hat and cake splattered over his face from his birthday
“Well it appears I have called the wrong kid my apologies Logan I’ll leave you back to your sleep”
“Yeah okay bye”
-
Okay so sure he messed up their names a lot but in the end of the day he loved his kids and they just accepted that this was another one of his long list of quirks they just have to come to accept and love, because for all his faults that’s their dad and they love him.
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physalian · 2 months
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Timeskips (A Deceptively Tricky Trope)
Anyone remember when we all went to the theaters to see Endgame and the trailers actually fooled us into thinking all the action happened immediately after Infinity War? Then 15 minutes into the movie, the Thanos we grew to love/hate dies and the bomb drops: “Five…Years…Later”
It’s a shame that the movie didn’t properly explore the worldly consequences of losing half the population in favor of a Marvel victory lap through all its greatest hits. That our heroes could do absolutely nothing for five whole years, opening on a shot of a cold and dark cityscape — that was the best use and execution of a timeskip I’ve seen in recent memory, even if the rest of the movie didn’t follow through with it.
Timeskips are an effective way to age up characters or age past the end of an era of peace, or the healing after a tragedy (or the lifeless aftermath of one). Usually, your established heroes do their heroic thing, and anywhere from a couple weeks to a couple months to a couple years pass before the story picks back up again. Some may have died along the way, the political climate has changed, couples have had children, or babies have grown into their own characters, relationships have grown, begun, or fallen apart.
These damnable plot devices are a double-edged sword. On the one hand, the author gets to skip sometimes decades of meandering plot and development to tell almost an entirely new story in the same universe, sometimes not even with the same characters who are now too old, too dead, or retired.
However, timeskips can also cause some massive confusion, missed opportunities, and fandom wars over whether or not the jaded and grizzled and depressed heroes we see on screen are, in fact, a realistic evolution from the last time we saw them (looking at you, Star Wars).
Sometimes, they’re used in a single episode, thrusting a present character into the depressing dystopian future so they can prevent whatever causes said future before disaster strikes (Teen Titans "How Long Is Forever?"), and all returns to normal by the time the credits roll. Sometimes, the author really wanted the drama and angst of a pregnancy, then got stuck with a baby that needs constant attention from its parents who can no longer go do Plot Things until the baby can take care of themselves (The Originals).
Sometimes it’s the jump between two eras of a series, where our heroes have had a couple years of practice and now we can make the tone a little darker and the action a little more visceral. Or, it’s expected of a multi-book saga that regularly jumps a year ahead with each edition, leading up to the big prophecy (Percy Jackson, Harry Potter).
The Fundamentals of a Good Timeskip
As requested by Anonymous!
Telltale signs of a dubious skip:
Audience is expected to care more about an undeveloped newcomer than the pre-existing cast, because the current cast does without explanation
Audience is “told” to accept Catastrophic Event without being “shown” how and why it happened
Characters die, break-up, disappear, marry, change teams, or change entire personalities for ~drama~ and no other reason
The Book You Never Wrote was way more interesting than the future you brought us to
The new plot depends on Events Unwritten, but never shows or explains Events Unwritten
Timeskip only exists because the author is unable to make the leaps in logic themselves and hopes you won’t notice
The legacy of past heroes is trashed completely for More Story
Signs of a successful skip:
Characters we know and love are still themselves, just a little older and wiser
Characters that do change do so logically, within reason, and could have been extrapolated from the last publication
Radical changes and the new hellscape you threw your heroes into is given ample screen time to show “How tf we got here”
The new world doesn’t disregard or ignore the legacy and victory of past heroes
Absolutely nothing of import or unexpected happened in the interim, except time
Anyone who dies off-screen won the story by dying of old age, or some other respectful avenue (popular with aging mentors and old masters, usually when their actor also passes)
Whether your timeskip succeeds or fails depends entirely on, in my humble opinion, how much story you skip and sacrifice to make the jump, and how radical the changes are from the past to the future. And, to what degree the skip serves as a means to an end or the centerpiece of the new story.
Meaning that since you leave weeks, months, years, or decades unwritten, how interesting was the Book You Never Wrote, and how badly would audiences need to read it to understand the jump from A to B?
If I’m writing a ten-year skip and half my heroes have died, half have ended wonderful relationships, two kids have been born, a known hero has become a villain, and an entire city’s been destroyed… that is a *very* interesting story I wish I had the opportunity to read, because it sounds like every character I fell in love with is about to become unrecognizable and very frustrating to follow now that I don’t understand why they make the choices they do — *if* I’m never shown evidence to support the leaps in logic.
If I’m writing a ten-year skip and all that happens in the interim is a minor child character is now a tween with a pretty average life, or my super-powered heroes have had only mediocre rogues to battle, or a character who began in the mail room is now a middle manager at their boring job, then, yeah, we can skip all that jazz and get to the good stuff. This is usually the setup for your “next generation” skip for any genre.
Good timeskips also depend on how readily the characters accept and acknowledge the changes that have happened off-page, and how much the future story now depends on the information the audience never received. If your plot and your characters constantly reference and argue over the Book You Never Wrote, your audience won’t be pleased to not have read said book.
I’m going to use specific media here because the nature of a timeskip concerns entire plots and my usual vague examples don’t suffice. How you write and implement one is entirely up to you and each of these have their staunch defenders, I just don’t like them and I’m here to explain why. Hopefully if you’ve seen at least one of them, you can use them as a shining example of what (or what not) to do in your own work.
The fandoms in question:
The 100
Star Wars
Percy Jackson
Last Airbender/Legend of Korra
How to Train Your Dragon
The Little Mermaid
The 100
The timeskips in question are between seasons 2 and 3, and between seasons 4 and 5. The first timeskip is a couple months between seasons 2 and 3. After a huge conflict (and easily the best season of the show by a country mile), shifting alliances, enemy-of-my-enemy, the best couple-that-never-was, the season ends with protagonist Clark unable to let herself enjoy the spoils of war because of the crimes she committed to make it happen. She leaves behind all her friends to go be a hermit, including deuteragonist Bellamy, who is Not Happy about this decision.
The problem: In between seasons, Clark hasn’t changed much, but Bellamy sure has. He gets a girlfriend, develops an entire relationship, only for this girl to get fridged within the first 50 minutes or so of season 3. He takes her death super hard and, with Clark not there, spirals into a bit of a blind-faith fascist turning on all his friends and becoming nigh unrecognizable. Without seeing the growing relationship with the fodder girlfriend, without seeing how hard life has been for him without Clarke, all his choices, all his beliefs, all his pontificating sound completely foreign and out of character and he does not recover until it’s almost too late. As he’s the deuteragonist of the show, you can only take yelling at your TV for all his stupid and OOC decisions for so long, when it could have been done so much better.
The second damning timeskip is five whole years between seasons 4 and 5. Bellamy develops another unseen romance up in space, his sister becomes a bloodthirsty underground queen, and Clark devotes her entire life to raising a little girl she finds.
The problem: Clark cares a lot more about protecting the little girl than anything else, a choice audiences can’t empathize with because we’re still siding with the characters we’ve watched grow and suffer for four seasons, making Clarke an incredibly frustrating character to watch.
Five-year timeskips are fine. I think I’m in the minority in hating this decision by the writers. However, when your characters’ motivations change so radically without you being able to follow that development, making their new choices seem incredibly inconsistent with who they’re supposed to be, the disconnect is super strong. We’re being told at this point to care about these strangers over the existing cast without ever having been shown why.
Star Wars
Timeskip in question: Return of the Jedi to The Force Awakens. Enough time for Rey to look like a 20-something and, I believe, the exact same gap between the movies in the real world. The argument over Luke’s character has been beaten to death by now. We end Return of the Jedi with the promise of a galaxy in peace after decades of civil war between the Rebels and the Empire and the ultimate sacrifice from Anakin.
The problem: We open Force Awakens like the war never ended. There’s still stormtroopers, there’s still the Empire (though, now it’s called the First Order), there’s still Rebels rebelling. The happily ever after one would expect between Han and Leia is shattered because their kid went Dark Side. Their kid went Dark Side because… well, one side, the other side, and the unrevealed truth.
It’s less “Luke would never make these choices” and more “How do you expect audiences to believe Luke made these choices without seeing the pain and trauma inflicted on him to end up like this”. The casual fan only watches the episodic films. Luke ended one movie as a semi-optimistic war hero. He began the very next film jaded and traumatized enough to debate, and nearly go through with, murdering his nephew because of what he *might* do someday.
That anyone expected that to go over well was deluding themselves, but everyone knows these movies are a mess.
There’s also the disappointment in realizing all that Anakin lived and died for fell apart in less than 30 years. Who are these people calling themselves the First Order? Where did they get the funds, the resources, the platform to become as big a threat as they are? How did the Rebels fail so spectacularly at building a functioning government? How do they not have the funds, platform, and resources to buy better ships and equipment? How did no one realize they were hollowing out an entire planet to build another Death Star?
The Sequel Trilogy lost audiences when it refused to provide any explanations at all for *why* these changes happened. The movies don’t care about *how* Ben became Kylo, they just need you to accept that it happened. They don’t care *how* the First Order rose, just don’t look too closely or it all falls apart.
The skip between Empire Strikes Back to Return of the Jedi is also a bit sketchy, because Luke has done all his Jedi training off-screen and can just pull abilities out of nowhere, but the plot of Return of the Jedi doesn’t depend on having seen Luke grow.
Percy Jackson
I feel bad putting this here because it’s not nearly as egregious as the previous two, but because the original series was so good, these choices are that much more baffling. The timeskips in question: Sea of Monsters (2) to Titan’s Curse (3) and Last Olympian (5) to Lost Hero (6).
The books focus on a singular week or two per year, so Percy can age from 12 to 16 in time for the Great Prophecy by the end of the series. This series is filled with timeskips and unseen content, but the jump between books 2 and 3 is the most jarring. I just did a retrospective for both of them so if you happened to read that, I’m repeating myself a little.
The problem: At the end of SoM there is a huge shakeup in the realm of who will actually be the chosen one — a discarded chess piece has been revived and brought back onto the board. In the missing months, Percy has built an entire friendship and rapport with his would-be rival, and so many reunions were left unwritten between Thalia and the friends she left behind. It’s the depth of the missing content that really feels like they forgot to print a chapter in either book, particularly when she’s so important to the story.
Percy references quite a few times how good friends he and Thalia have become. Fantastic, on what page might I read that development, when the author spent quite a bit of time building up the presumption that you two would hate each other?
The other timeskip is the complete opposite. Last Olympian to Lost Hero is, I believe, only a month. Once again, we have a presumed happy ending and ultimate sacrifice completely torched for the sake of More Story. The original five-book saga culminates with the tragic death of a villain we’d watched for five whole books. His argument was the thesis of the first series.
The problem: As with Star Wars, everything that character died for is rendered mostly moot. There is evidence that his death meant something, in the positive changes seen in the lives of those that survived him, but he died preventing armageddon… and a month later Bigger Badder armageddon is on the rise.
I almost wish the timeskip here had been longer. A couple years, at the expense of aging up the heroes to their twenties. His legacy on the story is virtually nonexistent. When you look back at the horrible tragedy that was this kid’s life, all it amounted to, everything he fought for, everything he believed in and died for and lost friends for… bought only a month of peace.
The Last Airbender and The Legend of Korra
Obviously, the timeskip in question is between these two series, about, what, sixty years? Last Airbender ends with, once again, the world at peace, ish, with lots of cleaning up to do, reparations to make, and governments to reshape. In the gap between series, almost everyone we knew has passed away, or aged out of being useful to the plot. Aang, of course, had to die so Korra could be born.
In the first season, because I’m reasonably confident all they planned was one season, the 60 year interim sees a lot of radical changes. Fan favorites die, the old ways are lost, the status quo is nothing like it used to be. So how do they get away with it?
Firstly, the show doesn’t begin with the main villains having already conquered Republic City and trashing everything the heroes fought for. The entire season is a crawl, then a plunge, toward disaster. They let you enjoy the fruits of the old characters’ labor, see the world that they built, before the new threat attempts to burn it down.
Secondly, because almost the entire original cast is dead or absent, there are no relationships sorely missing context, and there’s no *subversive* twists to what the audience could extrapolate from the ending of the old show.
LoK did make some radical changes to the world, but, crucially, it didn’t change the surviving core characters — we still have a known point of reference through which to view all the other changes. Katara is still Katara, she’s just older. Zuko is still Zuko, he’s just older. Katara didn’t become a persnickety, bitter bat and Zuko didn’t launch the Fire Nation Invasion II and return to his angsty ponytail-era.
It also helps that Korra is, like us, an outsider to this strange new world, a perfect vector through which the audience can ask questions and get answers on how, why, and when everything changed. LoK, unlike Star Wars, cared and thought about the *how* and the *why*.
If you’re going to write a story about the next generation without compromising the legacy of the old guard, Legend of Korra is a solid example of how to do it convincingly, respectfully, and entertainingly, even if it did drop the ball on some characters *cough*Sokka and Suki*cough*
How to Train your Dragon
But an even better example? How to Train Your Dragon to How to Train your Dragon 2. It’s been five years, a massive risk for your children’s animated fantasy series, but it’s also been almost five years of real-world time. Those who were Hiccup’s age when the first movie premiered are still Hiccup’s age when they head back to theaters. Not to mention the optional Netflix shows to help fill in the gaps.
Once again, there’s no *subversive* choices made with the relationships. Hiccup is still with Astrid and they’ve grown out of their awkward teenage phase. Their personalities haven’t radically changed either, only matured, the main group of heroes have had time to foster deeper bonds.
There’s no surprise children, no important characters who got killed off screen, and the changes to their homeland seem reasonable and logical given the time frame. A place that once feared dragons is now dedicated entirely to their preservation and conservation.
This is a timeskip that took advantage of every benefit of skipping time. The audience can very easily fill in the missing years with their imagination, because the jump from A to B makes perfect sense.
Frozen and Frozen II relied on the same mechanic of the audience growing with the characters with that one musical number. I’m not a fan of the execution of either of these movies, see this post about Frozen’s convolutions, but the execution of the skip itself is well done. All that’s happened in the interim is Elsa getting a little more comfortable being a person, and time has passed.
The Little Mermaid
The gap between Little Mermaid and Little Mermaid 2: Return to the Sea double-skips. First, it skips ahead to Ariel and Eric having an infant Melody, then about twelve years later to Melody being a tween and the new protagonist of the story.
Why it works: Melody is remarkably like her mother and rides the line between endearing and annoying very well and the plot depends on the skip happening at all – twelve years removed from the ocean and Melody has no idea her mother was a mermaid. Ariel and Eric (and Flounder) have grown to become wizened and worrisome parents and absolutely nothing remarkable happened unseen between the credits of the first movie and the second skip in the second movie. They get twelve years of peace, respecting the first movie’s legacy, and it’s through the actions of characters we see on screen that start jeopardizing everything.
Another feature I didn’t touch on earlier is that, by virtue of being a musical, the opening song to the Little Mermaid sequel efficiently catches audiences up on all the necessary exposition, all the old familiar faces, and where everyone is now in about 4 minutes. Frozen II does the same.
The Percy Jackson books also give a “previously on Percy Jackson” exposition speedrun at the start of books 2-5 and notes any important details that occurred in the missing months (save the glaring omissions detailed above).
If your time skip is just a plot device to get from A to Y, a well-handled exposition speedrun to catch everyone up won’t offend anyone, so long as you do it tastefully. If your skip is the centerpiece of the plot and the “how did we get here” is the big mystery, jarring your audience with the unexpected future on the opening pages is the point.
Do your best to avoid awkwardly having your characters state “X years have passed,” in dialogue because it’s always obvious and you can do better. Have somebody reference their upcoming birthday so audiences can do the math, or an anniversary. “X years have passed” cracks the immersion, as your characters don’t know or care that a time skip has occurred.
Or, if you’ve written a narrating style that talks directly to the audience, the narrator can just say “X months ago we did Y in the last book, reader, you remember how fun that was?” 
TL;DR, terrible timeskips happen, in my opinion, when the writers are disinterested with the interim and want to get to the good stuff without providing a logical jump to get there. Or, they happen when the time the story skips to jeopardizes where it came from without explanation. Whether that’s undermining the legacy of the original hero, ruining relationships and killing fan favorites for *subversion points* and *drama*, or creating a world so far removed from what audiences expected that they’re left confused watching their heroes make baffling decisions based on development they’re promised did happen, but is never shown. It’s one thing if you take your wide-eyed hero and toss him into a bleak future where everyone’s shocked by his pessimistic outlook, it’s completely different tossing your hero into a bleak future and none of his friends seem to care.
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