Tumgik
#disillusioned
imekitty · 5 months
Text
Readers in AO3 comments: *making predictions about what might happen next in my fic*
Me: Wow you guys have absolutely no idea where I’m going with this huh
246 notes · View notes
howifeltabouthim · 1 year
Quote
And I felt immediately repulsed by all of it—by men, by aging, by humanity, by my disgusting needs.
Taffy Brodesser-Akner, from Fleishman is in Trouble
778 notes · View notes
fineanddandy · 17 days
Text
…I just wanna know when did his head start looking too big for his body?! Am I trippin or…
Put some weight on ol’ bobble head ass boy…
“Got more head than he got body” lookin ass…
28 notes · View notes
pratchettquotes · 1 year
Text
When you die, the first thing you lose is your life. The next thing is your illusions.
Terry Pratchett, Pyramids
79 notes · View notes
dk-thrive · 4 months
Text
When despair grows so deep, weeping is no longer an option... Everyone weeps apart from me, but something inside me has frozen. It isn’t just the tears, it is something else. A disillusionment so deep, so penetrating, the freezing point of blood, the ultimate Antarctica of love.
— Sara Stridsberg, The Antarctica of Love: A Novel. Translated by Deborah Bragan-Turner. (Farrar, Straus and Girous, January 18, 2022)
17 notes · View notes
evilhorse · 5 months
Text
Tumblr media
I thought I knew who the good guys and the bad guys were!
(Captain America #183)
20 notes · View notes
luxja · 1 year
Text
29 notes · View notes
1introvertedsage · 1 year
Text
No one can break your delusion for you. You have to do it yourself.
Tumblr media
23 notes · View notes
starry-p · 8 months
Text
Tumblr media
GUYS my new Album Cover!!
IF I KNEW HOW TO MAKE MUSIC 💔💔💔
11 notes · View notes
theauthorpaula · 3 months
Video
Care in the Community
flickr
Care in the Community by Paula Puddephatt Via Flickr: Poem from the archives based upon my personal experiences with the NHS, including mental health "services" and GPs - and my experiences with society in general, including "family" and "friends" additionally, based upon/inspired by what I know has happened to many others out there
3 notes · View notes
bypaulamichelle · 4 months
Video
Care in the Community
flickr
Care in the Community by Paula Puddephatt Via Flickr: Poem from the archives based upon my personal experiences with the NHS, including mental health "services" and GPs - and my experiences with society in general, including "family" and "friends" additionally, based upon/inspired by what I know has happened to many others out there
4 notes · View notes
imekitty · 5 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
138 notes · View notes
howifeltabouthim · 1 year
Quote
I don't think I care much about anything now.
Anthony Trollope, from Can You Forgive Her?
102 notes · View notes
thissweetenamor · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
15 notes · View notes
killedbymylove · 1 year
Text
I hate it when you don't love me..
36 notes · View notes
jilldraws90 · 3 months
Text
Tumblr media
Disillusioned: Found
Kit Fisto, a Nautolan Jedi Knight, sat in the pilot seat of the Jedi T-6 Shuttle as he plugged the coordinates into the navigation system. He looked over his shoulder and smiled at his 11-year-old Mon Calamari Padawan. “You did very well on this mission, Nahdar.” he said cheerfully.
The tween’s eyes lit up. “Really, Master?” Nahdar asked. Kit flashed his famous smile and nodded.
“Yes, now let’s go-” 
The Nautolan cut himself off as he felt a disturbance in the Force. He looked off to the distance; something was calling him beyond the stars. He quickly changed their coordinates, much to his Padawan’s confusion.
“Master, is something wrong?” Nahdar asked.
“No, Nahdar, we’re simply going to Mutanda," his Jedi Master answered. However, this reply only made Nahdar more confused.
“Why?”
“It’s the will of the Force.”
��…………
After getting permission to land, Kit and Nahdar stood in the mountainside village, waiting for the tribe’s Nkosi. The Mon Calamari tween milled around his master. The staring Horansis made him nervous.
“Calm yourself, Nahdar. Treka Horansis are perfectly harmless unless provoked," the Nautolan assured his Padawan.
“Then why do they keep staring at us, Master?” Nahdar questioned.
“It’s giving me the creeps.”
Kit chuckled. “They are curious by nature. I doubt they see many amphibious sentients.” Nahdar seemed to calm a bit. He looked at a small group of cubs who appeared to be 5 or 6 standard years younger than him. Nahdar smiled and the Horansi cubs ran away giggling. The Mon Calamari huffed out a laugh and then looked back at his Master.
“Master, do you really think there’s a Force-sensitive here?”
Kit nodded. “I can sense a strong Force signature.”
“Master Jedi.” The blue chinchilla Treka Horansi, Kofi called, making Kit turn to him and flash his winning smile. “May I introduce Ekundayo, our Nkosi.”
Kit looked at Ekundayo. He was another Treka Horansi with a charcoal pelt, wearing a light blue robe and green pants. He had a baby sling around him, supported with one paw-like hand. Kit was surprised, as usually the Nkosi were Gorvan Horansi.
He quickly moved past it. As his eyes gravitated to the baby sling, he could feel the Force radiating off of it. So the leader’s child was Force-sensitive.
Kit bowed respectfully. “It's an honor, sir. I am Kit Fisto, Jedi Knight. And this is my Padawan, Nahdar Vebb.” Nahdar followed his Master’s lead and bowed. "Hello, sir." 
Ekundayo nodded but kept a stoic look. He studied the Jedi. They seemed to mean no harm, but he knew what they wanted: his precious daughter.
As if on cue, the bundle in the baby sling began to move about. A little Treka Horansi girl popped her tiny head out to look at the amphibians. She had red fur and was just starting to get her spots. There was a strip of blonde, downy fur from her head going down to her tail. All Treka Horansi cubs had this at birth: the fur would be replaced with thicker, darker hair. She still had baby blue eyes (which were subject to change over time) and a small black nose like her father. Kit’s smile grew when he saw the baby.
“Well, hello there, little one," the Nautolan greeted.  The baby giggled at him. Ekundayo, however, gripped his daughter closer. “Perhaps we should talk somewhere more private,” Ekundayo said dryly. He turned and headed towards his home.
As he walked away, he was gently bouncing his baby daughter, smiling lovingly at her. “Hello, Thabisa. Did you sleep well, my precious?” The baby giggled at the bouncing as she reached up to her father. Nahdar looked at the Horansi's back.
“He seems distrustful of us, Master,” the Mon Calamari said. Kit sighed.
“Well, we're here to convince him to give up his child, Padawan.”
……………….
Kit and Ekundayo sat at the dining table in the hut's humble main room. Thabisa was in her baby basket, nestled in a warm, colorful blanket. She watched in wonder as Nahdar levitated a cup in front of her.
“See?” Nahdar said gently. “As Jedi, we can stretch out our feelings and physically take hold of objects through the Force,” he explained to the baby. Kit and Ekundayo smiled and then returned to their conversation.
“Mirage killed our Nkosi and claimed the fief and tribe for herself. The Kasa warriors tried to stop her but she also killed many of them. The survivors were forced to flee. After word got out to the other tribes, they refused to step in. They were afraid of the enchantress.”
Ekundayo glared up at Kit. “Why did you all force her on us after her expulsion? Why didn’t you just deal with her at the Temple?”
The Jedi’s head dropped slightly, filled with sympathy for the people forced to live under a tyrant for so long. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry you all had to deal with her for so long. I was very young when she was exiled. I think the Jedi Council at the time thought it would be best to send her to her home planet and let her people punish her as they saw fit.”
Ekundayo simply nodded, “I suppose we should talk about why you're really here.”
Kit shifted in his seat. This wasn’t going to be easy.  “I can sense your daughter’s force sensitivity. I can also sense who her mother was. Was she…planned?” Kit asked, cringing at his own words.
Ekundayo sighed. “Yes and no. Mirage wanted an apprentice, not a child. She chose me to be the father because she wanted the best genes," he explained. “However, she was too old for pregnancy and child bearing. The birth killed her.”
“A minute old and already defeating the dark side,” Kit tried to joke. Ekundayo did not laugh. He just looked into Kit’s eyes.
“You want to take her to the Temple, don’t you?”
Kit sighed, “She has the potential to become a great Jedi, but we would need to take her now to prevent her from developing attachments," the Jedi explained. “However, if you do not want to part with her, we’ll leave and never bother you again.”
The Horansi was silent for a while before finally standing. He walked up to Nahdar and picked up the basket containing his daughter. “I would like to sleep on this. You both are more than welcome to stay in my home tonight. Do you need anything?”
“We’ll be fine,” Kit assured him. “Thank you Ekundayo.” The Horansi father nodded and disappeared into his room. The Jedi retrieved their sleeping mats from their ship and laid them down in the hut’s den. 
“Do you think he’ll let us take her to the temple, Master?” Nahdar asked as he settled under his blanket.
“I’m not sure, Padawan. Ekundayo may or may not agree. Whatever he decides, we need to accept it.” 
In his room, Ekundayo paced most of the night. He was restless, unable to sleep with this decision weighing heavily on him. Thabisa, sensing her father’s turmoil, also laid awake.
She let out a comforting coo, getting Ekundayo’s attention. He stopped his pacing and walked over to his daughter, gently stroking her soft cheek with his finger. Thabisa happily nuzzled into his touch.
The moment was bittersweet. Ekundayo wondered how much longer it would be until word of Mirage’s death reached their old Nkosi’s family. Soon they would come to reclaim the land. The land itself didn't concern him as much as what would happen to Thabisa. Especially when they found out that not only was she Mirage’s daughter but also that she was force sensitive.
Would they use her to their advantage or kill her as retribution? Ekundayo shuttered at those thoughts. Can he keep his daughter safe?
“I’m sorry, Thabisa. I didn’t love your mother. She forced me to give you to her.” He regretted that his daughter didn’t have a more ideal start in life. The baby blinked up at him innocently. He couldn’t help but smile back.
“But I do love you,” He emphasized, booping her nose. Thabisa giggled and began to reach for her father’s finger. Ekundayo teared up as he reluctantly made up his mind. “And no matter what happens, I always will.”
As if she understood him, Thabisa cuddled deeper into her blanket, promptly falling asleep. Ekundayo kept smiling through his tears. 
……………. 
The next morning, Kit stood outside the hut. Thabisa was in his arms, wrapped in her blanket to protect her from the morning chill. The Jedi had sent his Padawan ahead to their ship to prepare it for departure. “She’ll be well taken care of,” the Nautolan assured Ekundayo. “She’ll get a great education.”
Ekundayo nodded, though he wasn’t completely listening. He was staring at his daughter, trying to memorize every single feature and trait she had. “Thank you, Master Jedi.”
He began to fiddle with the knot of his leather necklace. “I know Jedi are not allowed possessions or attachments but I would like her to have this once she’s old enough.” Kit accepted the necklace. It consisted of five beads painted bright green and had yellow detailing.
“We do encourage Jedi to learn about their home cultures. I’m sure the Council won’t have a problem with it,” Kit replied. Then the Jedi’s comlink went off indicating the ship was ready for departure. “It’s time.”
Ekundayo nodded sadly, saying goodbye to Thabisa for the last time. He watched Kit take his daughter away, his heart along with her. He of course questioned himself as the two left his sight but he pushed them away. This was for the best, his daughter would be happy.
Right?
Star Wars copyright to LucasFilms and Disney, All rights reserved ArtWork copyright to jilldraws.com, All rights reserved
2 notes · View notes