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#dissociation
ben-marco · 3 days
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It is okay to mourn the child that you were, or the child that you could have been. It is okay to be sad or angry that no one protected you like you should have been protected. It is okay to grieve.
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send-onto · 11 hours
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pezpenser205 · 2 days
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me chilling being a system and then suddenly im pierced with the most body shaking panic inducing primal fear that feels as if ive been stabbed in the heart by an icicle that makes my blood run cold and sends shivers that penetrate down to my bones and then my brain realizes it made a mistake or something and is like "whoops. my bad. fixing it" and then the feeling is gone im fine like nothing even happened and i fail to even properly remember what scared me so badly once its over
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trashyspud330 · 2 days
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Using bright colors to brighten up my days
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ineffectualdemon · 3 days
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Okay I get the 5, 4, 3 is supposed to ground you in the environment and that doesn't work for me I need physical sensations. And most "name 5 fruits" or "name 5 yellow things" feels like it's questions you ask a toddler for whom that would be an actual challenge and I immediately resist being infantilised
But my husband actually helped yesterday by asking me things like "name five creatures that live in the deep sea" and "name five characters in lord of the rings who aren't in the fellowship" which actually made me think and felt more like a trivia game
So I have written so far 6 questions like that in a little notebook for next time I get really dissociated because it does actually ground me because it makes me think about the world and my interests and that pulls me back into myself
So hopefully that helps
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xt0t4llys4n300x · 3 days
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Me semi enjoying my day: :)
The random gut wrenching, nausea inducing, head swirling memory I swore to lock away forever popping into my head
:(
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caintooth · 3 months
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seeing people my age talk about how scared they are of memory loss, which they only associate with old age, is so surreal to see as a 24 year old who has actively experienced memory loss for a long time now
there are causes for memory loss besides dementia and alzheimer’s, i hope y’all know that. dissociative disorders, trauma, brain injuries, thyroid problems, even just stress and lack of sleep can fuck up your ability to store, process, and access memory. and that’s just a few of the many causes i can think of off the top of my head right now.
please stop treating disabled people like some scary “other” that you might become only in the distant, decades-away future. we are your age, too. you may become one of us sooner than you know. stop acting like memory loss marks the end of a life, when so many of us have so much living left to do!
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keets-writing-corner · 2 months
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Thinking a LOT about Lucifer in the latest Hazbin episode. Idk what I was expecting but not this??
As I was watching my immediate thought was just "huh... Lucifer is kinda of weird..." but as the episode went on I realized the issue
the dude is off the chain depressed, like he says it as a joke but holy cow it is SO BAD
He's manically just creating rubber ducks cuz his daughter really like it that one time but it's empty, it's never good enough but he keeps doing it, maybe cuz he doesn't know how to pass the time otherwise.
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like I get the feeling he HAS better things he SHOULD be doing than making rubber duck after rubber duck. At first I was like, "Bruh why isn't the king of hell doing anything?" aaaaand then it became clear...
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The dude is disassociating so bad he can barely hold a conversation let alone remember information. He clearly WANTS to, he wants to be involved with his daughter so bad, he wants to care about the things she's doing so bad, but his depression keeps interfering. It's like he can only hear every other word and he grasps onto the ones he does hear semi-out of context. Like you can see every time he catches something that he hadn't before and he just "well shit I didn't catch that part"
and that's why he reacts so weird when people talk to him. He is struggling so bad to engage with the conversation he's only getting 50% of it
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does that look like the face of a man who knows what the hell the conversation is even about??? he is STRUGGLING
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like Charlie spent so long telling him about the hotel, and he STILL didn't understand what she wanted. Yeah it comes off as ditzy but literally I've been in that position where your brain just "nope, not doing this right now" and nerfs your conversation comprehension. So as someone who's BEEN in that position, to me it feels exactly like what he's dealing with. He's sorta engaged with the conversation, but only as much as his brain will allow
For example, when I'm dealing with this, this is what someone talking to me feels like this where the crossed out parts are what I missed and bold is what I catch, "Hey! You know I was thinking for dinner we could either make some chicken with rice? But if you don't feel like cooking, pasta is super easy and you love that right? What do you want to do?" you can kinda get that someone is trying to talk to you about dinner, and towards the end you get the impression that they asked something that needs your input so you can decently put 2 and 2 together and try and pass off, but crucial bits were left out, I would have no idea that either chicken or pasta is in the conversation only having heard "rice". When someone is just talking at me, I can decently pass off as being engaged but the second I'm required to participate in the conversation I'm screwed. Seem familiar? At which point I have 2 options, try to give a bullshit answer, or admit that I missed what they were saying and ask them to repeat
Lucifer, unfortunately, is trying so damn hard to hide that he's dealing with like 24/7 dissociation, so he can't admit that he's missing entire chunks of the conversation, hence his really weird replies. He does eventually get the full picture and then he and Charlie start having the real conversation
Also, the Alastor/Lucifer rivalry was hilarious but also really indicative of more of what Lucifer is dealing with
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Alastor is, unfortunately, really good at picking up people's insecurities, and thanks to Charlie's description earlier and watching Lucifer clearly trying to overcompensate, he immediately picks up on the fact that Lucifer KNOWS he struggles to be a good dad (we know cuz it's cuz of the depression, hard to be engaged when your brain keeps turning off) and decides to rub salt in the wound by pretending he's been acting as a surrogate father to Charlie. Now why Alastor decided to pick a fight with the king of hell is beyond me, I do not understand Alastor (and I LIKE IT) (maybe it's cuz Alastor thinks he's hot shit and was expecting Lucifer to at least have heard of him but Lucifer just treats him like a nobody? who knows)(why would Lucifer listen to radio anyways when he can't even pay attention to a conversation it'd just be white noise)
But yeah I just was expecting someone who oozed either charisma or presence and instead I got a depressed dad who's dissociating so bad he can barely function and be present in his life. The only thing it seems he CAN do is make rubber ducks cuz his daughter really liked it that one time
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Idk Lucifer is tragic to me. Whatever the full details of what heavan did to him absolutely broke him and he can't deal with it. He's aware of it, and he doesn't know how to fix it, so he tries to over compensate and sorta makes an ass out of himself but no one says or does anything cuz this guy is supposed to be THE king of hell
Suddenly it's making a lot more sense why he just rolls over and lets heaven do what it wants and even told Charlie to go in his place the start of the show. He's not in any headspace to hold a basic conversation let alone negotiate! He didn't even know who Alastor was, he's been so out of touch
idk I like him, he seems sweet, I hope Charlie brings some light back into his life. He really needs to get out of that rubber duck room
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rustybutterknife · 2 months
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Microdosing polyamory by dating a system
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ben-marco · 2 days
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wait, dissociaDID is faking? since when? is there proof? sorry for asking idk/dont watch them except like once in my life
Hi there anon,
The subreddit r/DissociaDID has compiled a wealth of evidence. Some people have made documents for it so that everything is in one place.
There have been suspicions about DissociaDID since 2020 or 2021, if I remember correctly. There are inconsistencies in their story and a lot of the things they say to hint at having been a victim of OEA are lifted straight from a novel written by a survivor. There are also screenshots of them in DID/RAMCOA Facebook groups being pushy and asking survivors for details on their trauma. These details reappeared later once DissociaDID started hinting at being a RAMCOA survivor and they are now also claiming to have been through CSEM.
There is also a KF thread with evidence but I don't condone KF's activities and unfortunately to read the DissociaDID + TeamPinata thread is to wade through post after post full of slurs and people who don't think DID exists at all.
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lucio-lost · 4 months
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inbredlamb · 5 months
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thehermitcollective · 6 months
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accidentalslayer · 7 months
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