#divus crewel

[oya-oya-okay]

FINISHED!!! 🐶🐱 kuroXtwst

[libraryraccoon]

A Raccoon in Twisted Wonderland ?

Gender : Raccoon

Pronouns : Raccoon

Infos : You're a raccoon. A real raccoon. That's it, that's the story. TW : Rook, bad english, english isn't my first language.

You were a normal raccoon, well normal, you had the power to speak in human language and to be smart.

These were the only powers, the only magic, you had, so imagine your shock when you found yourself at the NRC, the Black Mirror choosing you to be a student.

“BUT I DIDN’T EVEN APPLY ?!” -Raccoon!Reader, when a confused Crowley explained the raccoon situation.

Grim was jealous.

You, a fucking raccoon whose only magic was human language and intelligence, had been chosen but not him ?! Jealousy.

Grim became your rival without being asked, literally trying to be better than you at everything, while you didn't even acknowledge his existence-

You are in Savanaclaw, the only real raccoon there is in Savanaclaw.

When Leona and Ruggie started their plan in Book 2, you knew about it too.

They didn't tell you about it, no, you just had heard everything one day.

"You know this can lead to serious problems ? Like broken limbs ?" -Raccoon!Reader, on Leona's bed.

“Well, the nurse- WTF ARE YOU DOING HERE, FUCKING THIEF ?!” -Leona not having seen you arrive.

He give you money in exchange of your silence.

You are known at the NRC for stealing anything and everything, from money to trash passing by student and teacher files.

You once stole Crowley's file thinking it was Crewel's... You are the only student who knows his age and his true identity (you say nothing in exchange for him turning a blind eye to the illegal things you do).

You didn't know who Malleus was before the NRC, the reason is simple : no one knows anything about magic in your origin little forest. Magic and anything related to it isn't really something animals care about, so you didn't know it before the NRC.

“Oh, child of, uh, raccoon ?” Malleus suggested, confused about what nickname to give you.

"Kits. A raccoon child is a kits." -Raccoon!Reader.

Underrated friendship : Idia & Raccoon!Reader & Ortho.

You were adopted by the Shroud the moment Idia realized that you were not afraid of him and that you saw Ortho as Ortho and not just a robot.

You let them pet you, especially if one of them (most often Idia) is stressed.

You are Idia's support animal and the reason for his occasional attendance at class IRL.

Every class where Idia goes IRL (which is 3 times a month since you've been here) you accompany him and let him caress/pet you.

Imagine the look on all the 3rd years' faces the first time they saw him go to flight class with you that very first time (it was also the first time of all year he go to a class IRL).

Headcanon that you and Rook had some sort of weird alliance that consisted of you giving each other information on all the students.

A scary duo.

Literally the hunter and the supposedly "prey" teaming up was something no one at the NRC expected. Even less that they give each other information about the students.

Crewel is the one who makes your clothes, whether those for classes or those to use in everyday life, because for him it's not because you are a raccoon that you are obliged to have no style.

Lilia 🤝 Raccoon!Reader : playing jokes on students who didn't ask for anything (especially Sebek).

I like to think that Raccoon!Reader would be friends with all the NRC ghosts, and that they would give him free food.

For Overblots where you have to fight, be aware that you will jump on the Overblotter's face each time unexpectedly. No one knows why you do this, not even you. Your only answer is always “instincts”.

And it's not even just with Overblotters, but with everyone who annoys you.

The nurse is fed up with you, that's canon.

The Black Mirror is maybe the only one (with the Shroud brothers) who doesn't regret having you at the NRC.

[b0njourbeach]

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Oh how I want this event where twst boys will be turned into children. The chaos!

That might be an interesting event for late spring/early summer, seeing as Japan has Children's Day on May 5th. It's a public holiday meant to celebrate children's individuality and happiness. I know that this kind of idea is already popular within the fandom; plenty of fan artists and fanfic writers (myself included) have done this prompt before. (If you're interested in reading those, I'll refer you to the masterlists for whichever characters you are looking for.)

Maybe it could be an event where the staff could shine as parental figures/guardians to the boys who temporarily turn into little kids? Crowley is the token absentee dad/j We at least know that Sam would conveniently be the one providing all of the childcare items www It could also give a chance for "younger" characters (ie first years or other smaller family members like Cheka + Ortho) to step up and fill the "big brother" role. Although... I do get the distinct feeling that some first years would end up bullying their child dorm leaders or at the very least not taking the best care of them 😅

[sagethegaywitch]

Yandere Staff Headcannons

GN reader

TW: yandere behavior, stalking, poisoning mentioned

Genre: yandere

A/N: The staff will all be platonic yanderes who view you as their child or younger sibling.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dire Crowley:

While he may act disinterested in your situation and may walk circles around finding a way to send you home, it’s partially because he’s incredibly interested in you.  The Dark Mirror doesn’t make mistakes, so why would it bring a magicless human to the school?  He comes to the conclusion that you must be his little apprentice, someone who can help him with his duties.

Allows you to take classes so you can get more familiar with this new world before you can start working for him.  He observes your classes from the windows and doesn’t really make an effort to hide when you spot him.  You brush it off as a weird Headmaster thing, but you always see him during your classes and even when you walk through the hallway.

After a while, he will invite you to the library to help him research a way to send you home.  In reality, he took all books from the library about the Dark Mirror and other dimensions and hid them in his study to prevent you from leaving Twisted Wonderland.  He will claim that it’s your responsibility to find a way home and that you need to help him research.  You now join him in the library for an hour or two everyday scanning over books and reading ancient texts.

He’ll start offering you little snacks and reading next to you at the table to get you comfortable around him.  He knows that his mask and taloned gloves are a bit off putting, but he’s trying to show you that he’s not a threat.

Eventually he’ll start using magic during these little sessions to gain your attention.  From using magic to get books on higher shelves to teleporting to the cafeteria to get snacks, you’re soon interested in his magical capabilities.  It starts as a game as you challenge him to do certain things like lifting up 100 books with magic to see how strong he is or asking him to breathe fire, but he’ll smugly complete the challenges without breaking a sweat.

Because of your interest in him, he offers you the opportunity to shadow him for a day to see how he uses magic in his daily life.  You’ll agree because you’re curious about what he does all day, and unbeknownst to you, you unwillingly just agreed to be his apprentice.

He starts to drag you out of class more often, telling the teacher’s that it's official school business, and he’ll take you around school explaining certain aspects of the school that you need to know.  From the history of the statues of the Great Seven to all the ancient magic items that the school houses, he’s basically preparing you to give school tours to prospective students.

He’ll try to teach you magic in his spare time, but he knows it will take a while because you didn’t have the proper training when you were younger.  He takes it upon himself to make you the best mage in history, only second to him though.

He’s a very jealous man, and as your role model, he will begin isolating you from corrupted people.  He can’t lash out at anyone because of his position as Headmaster, but that doesn’t prevent him from giving them detention or threatening them with expulsion.

He will get clingy when jealous and hang on your arms and whine loudly that you're abusing his niceness towards you by wasting your time on other people.  He will only be appeased with excessive praise and/or a promise from you to stay by his side.  He’s very insecure that you don't favor him and he needs constant reassurance that he’s your favorite.

Overall, he’s desperate for any attention from you and he can’t wait to make you his apprentice.  He doesn’t quite view you as his child because even he knows he probably won’t make a good parent.  But he’s ready to give you all of his knowledge and prepare you to become a great mage and maybe take on the role of the school’s Assistant Headmaster.

Mozus Trein:

He and Vargas are one of the few people not disgusted by the fact you have no magic.  Since magic history does not actually involve the usage of magic, he does not really care if you can’t use it.

He treats you no differently and still grades you just as hard as he does his other students, but he does appreciate it when you score higher than the rest of the class.  He is the kind of teacher to pin your test to the board and tell the whole class that you scored better even if you’re magicless.

Gets fatherly when you ask him for some help on a certain topic after school.  You’re very polite and nod along as he explains the historical context of the topic and gives you some extra reading from his personal library to help you understand better.

He doesn’t let you remove his books from his room because he doesn’t fully trust you with his private collection, but he’ll let you read in his room during lunch if you want.  Soon these reading sessions during lunch become daily, and he often stays in his room to monitor you.

He’s amazed by your love for literature and complex thinking when you offer him critiques on each book you read.  You two begin to have conversations about authors and their writings, and how it relates to the discovery and usage of magic throughout the years.

When you finally gain his trust, you also gain Lucius’ trust.  The first day that Lucius jumps out of Trein’s arms and into your lap as you sit next to your teacher was the day that Trein took on his role as your father.

He doesn’t really like eating cafeteria food, so he’ll often pack his own.  When he gets closer to you, he starts to pack extra portions for you.  To make it more natural, he’ll start first with small snacks before moving on to full meals.  You always feel guilty that he’s cooking for you, but it's not like you can reject his kind gesture.  In return, you always try to make him some sweets each week.  He doesn’t really enjoy sweets anymore, but he loves it when you make some homemade ones just for him.

He will have Lucius follow you around during the day to make sure you’re being safe.  Students begin to wonder why the cat is wandering around the halls, but they’re all a bit too scared of Trein to find out.  Sometimes Lucius will strut into your class and will make himself comfy on your lap while you’re trying to take notes.

Nobody will really realize what Trein is doing with you, and if anyone asks, he brushes it off as a teacher looking out for his favorite student.  He tries not to show his favoritism during class, but other students will see him asking you to stay behind after class and watch him offer you a seat next to his so you two can discuss the most recent book you’ve been reading.

Will not intervene with your friendships but will tell you how much he dislikes your more troublesome friends because he believes they are bad influences on you.  He might give them detention for the smallest of reasons to keep them away from you.

Overall, he will never cross the fatherly line and knows when you get uncomfortable with his protectiveness of you.  He wants you to come to him in your times of need and see him as a role model, so he is willing to do what you want to stay in your good graces.

Divus Crewel:

You’re just a magicless human, why should he care about you?  Why is your face so cute, and why does he see some potential in you to be great?  He will brush these questions off and will continue to treat you as a mutt among pure breeds.

His attitude about you changes when you score the highest grade on one of your tests.  You spent extra time studying and preparing for this one because you were hoping to raise your grades, but now you also have Crewel’s attention.  At first, he thinks you cheated, but he was watching you closely turning the exam to make sure you didn’t fall behind, so he rules that option out.

When he passes out the graded tests, he sighs and gives credit where credit is due.  He’ll pat you on your head after he places the test on your desk and will call you a good boy/girl.  The way your face lights up at his approval blinds him momentarily before he continues to pass out the tests.

Will continue to monitor you throughout the next few weeks and give you little praises just to see your reaction again.

He sees that you still struggle a bit in class because normal science and magic science are so different, so he uses it as an excuse paired with your curiosity to stay after class almost everyday so he can tutor you.  At first he’ll make a show of saying it's a big chore to help you, but the longer the tutoring goes on, the more excited he is to spend extra time with you.

He will begin holding you back after class each day to tell you that he’s proud of the progress you’ve made since you first started his class, and he will offer you helpful criticism on your assignments and how to improve your research.

Because he’s finally helping you in class, you take the opportunity to ask him a bunch of questions about the sciences of the magical world.  From potionology to curses, you’re interested in everything and just want them explained to you.  He’s surprised by your interest in the topics he teaches, but he puffs up in pride that you’re asking for his knowledge.

He’s a bit too young to be a father figure, but he’s also a bit too old to be a big brother, so he settles for the in between.  He’ll be your educational role model during school hours, but outside of the school setting he’s your big brother.

During school he helps tutor you and obviously favors you during class, but outside of class he’s making comments about your clothing and offering to make and tailor some just for you.

He doesn’t think it's inappropriate to take his favorite student shopping at designer stores or buying an excessive amount of fabric to make you fitted clothing.  He loves to spoil you when you’re good, like getting top grades in class, but he can also be firm when you’re struggling to keep up in your studies.

He secretly adds details in your clothing that matches his usual outfits like adding black and white designs that are similar to the ones on his coat or adding red accents somewhere.

As your older brother and father, he thinks it's his duty to protect you from the lowly mutts of the school.  He is already pretty strict, but now he’s handing out detention to the people he deems too lowly to be in your presence.  He also refuses to allow you to date because it will take you away from your studies and your special time with him.  Maybe a simple poison will take care of any potential suitors for a while.

Overall, he uses your human curiosity and magicless quality to drag you into supplemental tutoring after school, which soon transitions into weekly outings to go shopping.  He is very defensive about you and is willing to take a few students out if it ensures you stay by his side.

Ashton Vargas:

He probably took note of you during P.E. class, and whether you are really good at sports or hate them, he can see the dormant physical power you have.  He doesn’t mind that you can’t use magic, but it does cause some complications during broom flying lessons.  He’s a bit dense and will have you try to ride a broom, your cheeks flushed red from the pointless effort and from the embarrassment as he offers you encouraging words.

He’ll train you harder during class and even invite you to jog with him around the field after your class.  It may seem odd at first, but you just assume that he wants to help you succeed in his class, so you reluctantly agree.

During these little sessions he’ll teach you about the body and all the different muscles by showing off his physique.  He’ll show off his muscles to gain your attention and will tell you that you’ll be big and strong like him one day.

His favorite activity to teach you is broom flying because he sees you struggle so much during class.  He understands that you don’t have magic, but he knows that with a lot of hard work and practice, you will be able to do it.  He will sometimes allow you to ride on a broom with him to get you used to flying through the air and understanding how the broom works.

He also does this cute thing where he’ll make you sit on the broom before hefting the broom in the air to run you around the field to simulate flying.

He’s not a great chef, but he tries to bring you homemade and healthy snacks for you to munch on throughout the day.  From protein cookies to fruit bowls, he supplies you with the necessary nutrients to make you stronger.  This is one of the rare times that he acts all bashful because he’s concerned about you rejecting his efforts. Although most of the treats he makes are a little janky, you always accept them and enjoy eating them.

As your training goes on, you two get closer and form a friendship based on shared exercise goals.  If you don’t like working out, he’ll always gently encourage you to do what feels comfortable and will push you when needed.  If you’re like him and you love exercising, he’s matching your energy and pushing the both of you as far as you can go.

He’s not really jealous of other people because a quick flex of his muscles should make them feel inferior, but it’s also a silent threat that he would absolutely beat them up in a fight.

Overall, he may have a very startling height and body size, but he’s really sweet and just wants the best for your health.  He’s going to love the time you two spend chasing each other around the field and him trying to teach you to use a broom.  Now you have your own little cheerleader who is going to support you throughout your exercising journey.

Sam:

He is forever grateful that you keep him in business at the school.  Because you have to work on campus to earn money to pay for meals, class materials, and other stuff, you’ve been going to Sam’s shop to buy cheaper versions of the necessities.  When you visit, he does what he does with all the other students that make their way to his shop and offers you trinkets that have questionable origins.

When he first offered you an interesting looking keychain, you were genuinely interested in what it was and started asking questions on where it came from and what it does.  He is more than happy to spin a dramatic tale of how he had to fight off monsters and narrowly avoid traps to obtain the little keychain that is said to have great magical powers.

You’re one of the only people to actually buy his little knick-knacks if you ended up liking the story that went along with it.  He tries his best to weave the most intricate tales to get you to stay longer and maybe buy another item.

The storytelling went from a gimmick to make you buy more to him actually enjoying putting a meaning behind the random treasures he has in his shop.  He vaguely remembers where he got most of the junk from, but he thinks giving them a story will give them more value to you.

After school you’re often found tucked in a corner of Sam’s shop, reading an ancient book about voodoo or tinkering around with the odd things hanging from the ceiling.  Either way, Sam begins to enjoy your presence in his shop that barely gets visited by other students or staff.

He views himself as your cool older brother and he loves to teach you about the history of dark magic.  He will always warn you away from it, but he still gives you frequent lessons about it like how to summon creatures from the other side or how shadow manipulation works.

He’s not jealous in nature since he doesn’t get out much, but if you’re getting bullied at school, he’ll slip you an unknown ball of something to place in your bully’s bag.  He’ll never tell you what they do, but you trust him, so you always carefully plant the ball before making a quick getaway.

Overall, a very secretive man who will only share his deepest and darkest secrets with you.  He loves that you’re so interested in his culture and he’s excited to teach you a little more about the magic he uses.  Since he has so many friends on the other side, he might even be able to give you magical abilities.

[juno-of-wonderland]

Calling the staff "dad"

edit made on 10/27: Sam is now not speaking my mother tongue, sorry for that

warning: not reviewed

Dire Crowley

"are you done with-" "yes dad, I already did that" "…"

-this guy will ask permission to leave and will cry with happiness in the magic mirror -I also cried in the bath -he would boast about this to the other staff

Divus Crewel

"puppy you need to be more attentive" mumbling"sorry dad"

-he will ask you to repeat what you said -he had already adopted you before -but now he will ask you to sign the paper

Mozus Trein

"Dad, can you explain this part to me? I didn't understand very well" "…Of course"

-you think you saw the ghost of a smile on his face -he thinks: it looks like I have four children now -He is happy but shows it in his reserved way

Sam

you're trying to get something from the high shelf but you can't appears next to you "here little shadow" "thanks Dad"

-…he's too young to be a father, but he's not complaining -will teach you to be an entrepreneur -will make you sign an adoption document without you realizing

Ashton Vargas

"you're doing great kid!" breathless "thank you dad"

-oh, he's happy -it's like they gave him infinite cans of energy drink -I feel sorry for you and hurt other students when he gets so excited

[ryuichirou]

Never change, Trein, you old b-

[kaevch]

dyed hair :)

(read from left to right!)

- inspired from this post.

[ryllen]

moe gap on NRC

.

and jade who has his mermaid charm fully on at trey

[a-local-idiots-shitpost]

*sounds of an explosion*

Crewel: you left Yuu alone in the lab again didn't you?

Deuce: well...

Ace: they said they wanted to finish something

Crewel: you pups are in so much trouble

Yuu: (screaming) I made Diamonds! I'll finally have money!

Crewel: Yuu isn't in trouble

Ace: favortism

[wakacchi]

"Itterasshai~" (-ｪ-)｡o

Get the full kareshi sensation at my ko-fi!

[oya-oya-okay]

Voting😳😳😳🤭

[bones4thecats]

I haven't done these in a while so...

At A Staff Meeting... ~ Divus Crewel: I was voted “friendliest classmate” in high school. Mozus Trein: I was voted “most likely to become a clown”… Dire Crowley: You think that’s bad? HA! I was voted “most likely to get rabies”!

When Grim Goes To The ADeuce Duo For Help... ~ Grim: Yuu's mad at me, and I'm not sure why. Deuce Spade: Okay, did you talk before they got upset? Grim: …yes? Ace Trappola: That's probably it.

This Is What Happens When You Marry the Cater Diamond... ~ Cater Diamond: Hey, babe, remember how I had to go to the pharmacy to pick up my ADHD meds? Y/N - Reader: Yes? Cater Diamond: Well, it turns out they're all out for the next five days. Y/N - Reader: ... Cater Diamond: It's gonna be a fun week! Y/N - Reader: I'm going to Trey's house. Cater Diamond: Nuh-uh. Through sickness and health, motherfucker.

[dotster001]

Meeting Their Future Kids With You

Summary: Vil/Idia/Crewel/Crowley/Malleus/Rook x gn! Reader. A child suddenly appears. And it seems to have a connection to you? Requested by @stygianoir

A/N: It's in my pinned post, and I've mentioned this in a couple posts, but if this is the first of my stuff you've read, I view NRC as an actual college, so reader here is 18+. If it makes you more comfy, imagine it as grad school age.

CW: spreading my asexual Malleus agenda, especially now that I've been spoiled for the fact that the dragon lays an egg and all it needs is love to hatch. ASEXUAL MALLEUS CAN NOW BE CANON Y'ALL!!!! Anyways...his kid is the only one with physical descriptors, so do with that what you will 😅

3k followers masterlist

Something was wrong. There was a presence at Ramshackle that shouldn't be there. Could it be? Could someone be trying to steal you from him? No! He had only just started courting you! It wasn't fair. 

He poofed into your sitting room and froze. 

You were snuggling what looked like…a small version of him?

You looked up and your jaw dropped.

"Wait, I thought this was you!" You looked back down at the kid who giggled and made grabby hands at Malleus.

"Daddy!"

Ah! Yes, he understood now. Draconia genes were strong. This child clearly was barely old enough to even hold a human form, it was not out of the realm of possibility that it had accidentally used a time travel spell. Perhaps that was even the child's unique magic.

He walked over to the child in your arms, scooped it up, and gave it a soft kiss between the two tiny horns emerging from their head.

"It's wonderful to see you, but it's time to go home, little one."

The child nodded sagely and vanished in a puff of green smoke. You looked at him in complete confusion, but he simply laughed, repeating his kiss, but this time to your forehead.

He knew you were his soulmate.

He knew with a single glance. The familiarity the twin girls before him held in their gazes, the way they carried themselves, the hats on their heads. Everything screamed his influence.

And though that didn't make any sense, Rook knew his eye and his instincts were never wrong.

But there was something about the girls that was distinctly…..

"Rook! Hi- aw shit, please tell me you didn't kidnap some kids!"

So distinctly you.

The two girls shared what, to anyone but Rook, would seem like an unsettling smile as you approached the silent scene.

"Non non, they are just passing through, oui, petites fleur's?"

"Oui," they said simultaneously, grinning at you, their eyes taking in your every facial twitch.

"Uh, okay? Relatives of yours?"

"One could say that."

All three of them laughed, leaving you confused and a little frightened.

It was a normal day like any other. Searching for Epel who had once again fled his lessons.

And he had found him in the worst possible place. A mud pile with an already very muddy teenage girl.

Epel splashed the girl with a childish giggle, and she laughed hysterically.

"Papa was right, you were crazy!" She giggled making a mud ball and throwing it at him.

He dodged and it hit Vil.

"Ah shit," she whispered under her breath. But after a second of reflection, she grinned. "Wait, why am I scared? You're not the boss of me."

Vil glared, and she suddenly looked apologetic again.

Both Epel and the girl stared at the ground, completely avoiding eye contact.

"What school are you from?" Vil snapped at the girl.

She snickered but said nothing.

"Who do I report you to?"

She laughed louder. "Nah, I don't have to tell you shit."

"Language," he snapped, and tears filled her eyes.

"It was all uncle Epel's fault. I told him I didn't want to play in the mud, but he made me do it!"

"You absolute rat!" Epel shouted, picking up some mud and preparing to throw it.

Vil cast a quick spell, freezing both of you in place. He stormed over and snatched each of your wrists, preparing to storm off with the two trouble makers in tow, when he saw the shimmering gold bracelet on your wrist. Engraved on it was L/N-Schoenheit.

He stared for a moment, then groaned.

"Epel, remind me to never let you around my future child."

"He's my godfather," the girl grinned impishly, and Vil felt a part of himself die.

"Excuse me, I'm looking for my dad. You look like you could be related to him."

Idia knew he shouldn't have left his room today. All he wanted was a snack, and to maybe see you if you happened to not be in a class right now, and now this extroverted teenager was asking about his dad.

What the absolute fuck?

He quickly pulled out his ipad, typing something about how anyone related to him wasn't worth finding, when the twerp yanked the iPad out of his hands.

"Nevermind, I figured it out," the kid snorted. "Hi dad!"

Idia started stuttering. Not only was this twerp an extroverted teen who stole his iPad, he was also insane.

"Nah, nah, not today, not today…" Idia started muttering under his breath.

The kid rolled his eyes.  

"Forgot about this part. Guess they really did change you for the better," he started typing something on his watch, and a hologram popped up, showing the kid, you, and Idia…? Your and Idia's faces were a bit more lined than they were right now but….it was definitely you.

He stared at the hologram, his hair turning a bright red. 

"Oh! Hey Idia!" Your voice called from behind him.

He turned and waved to you shyly, then turned back to the teen. But he was gone.

And the damn boy stole his iPad.

If his hair wasn't already dyed, those two freshmen would have given him gray hair by now.

Once again, they'd made a potion explode in his classroom. And once again, the fallout would be a pain to clean up.

Where you had once sat was a small child. A small child who was looking at him expectantly.

"Well?" She asked.

At first he had assumed this small child was your child form. But no. She looked nothing like you. Though, she did have a similar glint in her eye.

"Who are you?" He asked softly, not wishing to scare the child with the rage that was building up inside him. He'd told you again and again that your friends were trouble, and now look where it got you.

Wait. Where exactly were you?

Before the girl could speak, a red smoke filled the room, and a him with a few more wrinkles appeared, dragging you by the wrist. Your face was covered in a vicious pout.

"I already told them," future Crewel said, eying the freshmen with a vicious glare. "No need to repeat it."

He opened his arms in front of the little girl, a warm smile taking over his features, as the girl climbed into his arms, snuggling into him. He pointed at you and the freshman one more time, said, "Behave." And vanished into red smoke.

Present day Crewel pinched the bridge of his nose, and pointed at you.

"He already said it," you snapped,punching Ace in the shoulder for good measure.

"Morning dad."

"Morning," Crowley muttered tiredly as he sipped his coffee.

Then he choked on it. There should be no one in his office right now. And there should be no one calling him dad.

He looked over and saw a kid who was somewhere between the age of 10 and 13 sorting through his stack of paperwork.

"Pardon me, but do you mind explaining what you're doing?"

The kid looked up and raised a brow in confusion.

"Um, morning paperwork?" He laughed nervously. "Wait did you forget that….uh, nevermind, I'll just go then."

The kid hastily made the papers into a pile, grabbed a backpack, and started to hustle out of the office. Only to be stopped when he bumped into you as you were storming into the office.

"Crowley! You promised you'd fix my goddamn roof!"

"Dad said I wasn't grounded anymore!"

Both of you shouted over the top of each other, and then stared in confusion.

The kid sprinted out of the office, knocking you over in the process.

Dire, meanwhile, released a delighted giggle, his face feeling warm as he grinned at you with a lovesick grin. Only to be annoyed as you brought up your roof again.

"If you excuse me, I have other things to attend to. I assure you that child will only cause trouble."

He ran out of his own office, no intention of actually finding his future son, only intending to hide from you.

Too bad you could always see through him, and were right on his tail.

[batneko]

Malleus is best sempai.

[hoegender]

literally why doesn't science club just wear their labwear. it's so funny to me